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secretshinigami · 3 years

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Beyond Birthday's Day Off

Author: @ironblowtorch For: @pinkmalus Pairings/Characters: Beyond Birthday, A, L Rating/Warnings: Mature- Mentions of death and grief Prompt: Beyond Birthday’s Day Off Author’s notes: I really wish I had thought of a more creative title but that’s exactly what the fic is!! <3 I hope you enjoy, the idea was that B is trying to figure out his next steps in life after leaving whammys and he finds himself inspired to start his lifestyle as a killer! :3

Beyond Birthday had never been this alone in his life.

Well… no, that wasn’t exactly true. He was an orphan after all. He had spent his very early days alone, cold, seeing the world in red and numbers. He doesn’t remember much of his time before Whammy’s at all, and he curses the fact that his so-called genius mind never remembered the names above his parent’s head’s. If he actually thought hard about it, maybe he had always been alone, and now was no different. He did name himself, after all. A name so ridiculous there was no way anyone could have one like it, that was until the nicknames ‘B’, or worse “Backup” became his normal. Yeah… he definitely has been alone all along.

The saltly wind that suddenly smacked against his face brought him back to the present, reminding him that he was actually alone on the beach, as well as alone in life. He had just arrived in Los Angeles only hours after sneaking onto a mail plane from London. Unfortunately that was as far as his plan had taken him… he still had to sort out a place to sleep, food… and most importantly his revenge on L.

In all truth, he felt exhausted and overwhelmed. He was happy when he arrived to find himself so close to the ocean, a sight he’d never seen after a lifetime in the orphanage. If he let his mind drift to Whammy’s or any of the… events that happened this week he wouldn’t be able to keep it together much longer. And he needed to focus on his survival for now. Some genius he was! No plan, no future, no identity… no A…

B suddenly threw sand into the water with a shout. He needed to stop thinking. Turning away from the sunset, he started to make his way up the animal path he found hidden under the pier towards the beach. Instantly numbers and names started to swirl around him as he found himself lost in the crowds of people headed towards the water. With no direction in mind, he kept to the edge of the sidewalk with his hands tucked into his jeans. Unfortunately for himself, the only clothes he was able to smuggle with him were L’s standard of a white shirt and blue jeans. At least he managed some flip flops for himself.

Even with his California acceptable footwear he stuck out like a sore thumb here. Why didn’t training to become the next greatest detective include social skills? Maybe that takes away your deductive reasoning, like sitting normal, or eating a meal without sugar.

Beyond sighed heavily and shook his head at an attempt to clear his thoughts again. This was no good… he needed to find something to distract him… with no money it would be pointless to try and go into a store. He could try to steal, but he really wasn’t familiar with America yet… maybe his best bet was to look for someone whose time was running short… Perhaps he could crash in a dead man’s home for a few days?

He had been walking with his head down for so long that when he turned the corner and looked up he was greeted with the movie worthy view of the Hollywood sign! In all honesty, he was less impressed than he thought he’d be. But it did give him the great idea of something to do… he could go sightseeing!

Truthfully, he couldn’t remember a time in his life when he had ever done something just because he thought it would be fun. Most of his life he was just mimicking L, or studying old cases and autopsies, or cheering up A… He deserved a day off! Beyond laughed to himself as he watched the sun start to disappear behind the rolling hills. Yeah, a day off from thinking about L would be long over-due.

~~~

The next day he awoke with a smile on his face, excited for the day ahead for the first time.

The night before he had managed to find a public library and used the computers and references to plan his entire next day! He told himself he would figure out food and shelter later, because for now he just wanted more excitement in his life. He wanted to do something just for him.

So his first stop at 11am was to visit the famous museum of death on Hollywood Ave! He stumbled upon the poster on a bulletin board in one of the seating areas, and felt like it was destiny. The museum held exhibits of past serial killer trials, autopsies from various diseases, endless animal taxidermy, and plenty of bones and weapons! It was perfect!

Beyond always felt that when looking at crimes as the detective, you aren’t focusing on the corpses or criminals often at all… it’s more about solving and deductions and justice… blah blah blah. Beyond thought crime and life meant more than all that. Death and life coexisted all the time, he could see it for himself with his own eyes. It had only been a week now since A had died, and for every second leading up to the moment Beyond saw his number drop to zero, they were together. Before it happened, there was no way for him to guess what zero would mean. Maybe a part of him knew, but… it wasn’t real until it was.

He felt like he needed to go to this museum as a way to place the grief that was holding onto him somewhere else for a while. Seeing the person you’re closest to die and knowing it… it was too much for him.

But at the same time he felt secure in his understanding and knowledge of criminal behavior… in fact his own heart was warming up to the idea of becoming one himself. So the museum felt like a great bridge from his past life towards his new one! His next chapter would begin today, B just needed some inspiration first.

On his walk there, he happened to pass by a candy store window, surrounded by people watching through the glass as they watched a man spin taffy. Beyond found himself getting lost in the art of it all along with the crowd of people, so much so that he decided to pop inside. As he walked the aisles he recognized almost all the brands from years of sitting behind L during lectures as he ate enough of the stuff to kill a small child in one sitting. The truth was, B didn’t have much of a sweet tooth himself. He thought candy was kinda pointless, all it did was coat your teeth in sugar then disappear. L swore it made his mind work better, but he also swore a lot of his weirdest quirks did that for him, and Warati let him do whatever he wanted anyway… Yeah. So candy was just another thing B resented about the detective.

He didn’t hate all sugar though. He used to think fruit salad from the orphanage cafeteria was the best side they ever offered. Why only eat one fruit when you could eat them all together at once, in a bowl? Fruits were high in sugar content as well, but at least you got fiber and healthy carbs from them!

Beyond started to feel a bit guilty as he realized he was going to leave a candy store, a place that should bring any sane person joy upon arrival- in a worse mood than when we walked in. But he didn’t see any fruit or snack that interested him at all… he started back to the door just before he spotted a display of local creations the owner had featured. He walked up and found himself smiling wide as he picked up a jar of locally harvested strawberry jam. This would do!

~~~

By the time 11 rolled around, Beyond had already eaten his entire jar of jam as well as figured out his sleeping arrangements for at least a few days! Just behind the museum he found an abandoned shipping storage container he could even lock up at night. He finally felt like he was doing something right in his life, as everything fell into place for his new life.

Well, almost everything. He was really hoping he would find his last missing piece in his future in this museum. Maybe they were hiring? Maybe he’d find some inspiration for a different line of criminal detective work? Only one way for him to find out.

The money he used from the wallet he pickpocketed at the bus stop was more than enough to cover his limited expenses for the next few days. The ticket for the museum was $13, which B felt was another sign he was going in the right direction!

As he walked through the gift shop and to the entrance, he noticed that it wasn’t crowded at all. The ticket lady did say it was strange to see someone, especially alone, on a Thursday… but he wasn’t complaining. She also warned him about the most explicit parts of the museum being a bit gruesome, and he made note of them to go to first. He could take as long as he needed without being distracted by lifespans!

He first wanted to check out the taxidermy animal room. Nothing too gory was in there and that was fine, he just had never seen taxidermy before! Or many animals. It was educational to learn that birds came in just about every size…

After comparing himself to the stuffed angry badger he excitedly hurried to the serial killer exhibit. Purely out of curiosity!!! B just knew that was where the best autopsy photos were! Along with actual explanations of the killers’ stories… well, at least the ones that were solved.

As Beyond stepped into the room his excitement was suddenly matched with the new grief he had as a part of him. B longed to be sharing this moment with A… When they were kids…how many nights had they snuck to the library just to look at photos of other places? How many drawings did B slip into their backpack, how many smacks to the head did B get… all of those moments combined couldn’t have added up to much. But they had meant the world to Beyond… He didn’t feel alone in those moments, A was the only one who noticed him as someone other than a copy of L. Now A was gone forever.

Beyond stumbled back to sit on a nearby bench as his heart felt heavier by the second. He swallowed hard and gripped onto the edge of the seat, trying to ground himself. He blinked his eyes and then noticed the name Bertha Marie Smith with a shorter than average lifespan stumble up to him in a panic.

“Oh, sir?? This room can be a bit much for most people! It’s alright, we have an exit to the lobby this way…” she reached out to help him sit up-

“Ha! What? N-No… excuse me…” B quickly stood up and moved away from her. “I’m fine. I just…. needed a moment. I’d like to finish my tour, if that’s quite alright.” He smiled and tipped his head and quickly turned the corner to avoid her.

Beyond Birthday was actually better than fine. In fact, before Bertha had come up, he had the most intense realization.

A was the only person who knew him as himself. A would be the only one to ever remember him. Who would remember him when he was gone? Who would remember A?

He looked around the walls scattered with information he had expert knowledge of. All these crimes… any crime really, he had been learning every strategy a killer could use since he could read. B had given up his chances of ever following the path they had planned for him, that life was long gone. So what was his chance of ever being remembered now? Hardly above zero. He was sure even L himself wouldn’t attend the funeral if he passed tomorrow.

So B decided maybe he was meant to be at this museum after all. Maybe… he could pull something off that couldn’t even compare to any crime the world had seen. Something even L couldn’t get to the bottom of.

He could have his very own exhibit here, at the museum! Maybe a whole room dedicated just to his case, something so unsolvable, people would talk about it for centuries…. He could be the world’s greatest criminal instead.

Beyond smirked and turned to enter the next exhibit, excited for this next chapter. After all, he was alone now, and nothing could stop him from redeeming A now.

One Day the Los Angels BB Murder Case would be written about somewhere, he just knew it.

#fanfiction #death note #submission #beyond birthday #a #a death note #l lawliet #ratings: mature #ironblowtorch #pinkmalus #Near's Bday Finale 2k21

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witcherslittledove · 3 years

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Home is Where the Heart Is

A Joey/Henry lockdown fic - AO3

Rated: T

Words: 7k ish

CW: RPF, covid, far too much pining?

_______

“I’m sorry, Joey,” Madeleine sighed again, pressing her head into the crook of Joey’s neck, her hair tickling his cheek.

It was pulled back into a messy bun, flyaway strands surrounding her face in a halo, and as the sun shone from behind her, she looked like some kind of angel. Joey wondered, not for the first time, how he’d even been so lucky to have Madeleine as a friend. She truly was a wonder, his favourite person and light of his life. Everyone should have a friend like Madeleine Hyland.

He laughed and pressed a kiss to her temple as he pulled back from her embrace. “Nah, it’s alright, Madeleine. Your parents need you, much more important than little old me.”

“Oh fuck that, you bastard, stop fishing for compliments,” she laughed, swatting him on the arm.

“Aww,” he pouted, “Oi!”

She’d hit his arm again, barely a tap but he pretended it hurt, rubbing his arm and pouting even harder at his friend.

“Come off it, Joey. You’re staying with Henry for the rest of lockdown, that’s hardly a trial,” she teased, poking him in the chest.

Ah yes.

Henry.

The bane of Joey’s existence, mostly because of the fucking ginormous crush he had on his co-star. He hadn’t known Henry had been signed on for Geralt until his audition, really he hadn’t known much at all, just that he’d be auditioning for a bard and that he should probably take his lute to the audition. A spur of the moment decision that had turned his life upside down. He’d gone from a nobody to... well, not exactly famous but people had started to recognise him, much to his despair.

And then there was Henry.

He’d been admiring Henry from a distance for a few years now, watching him in the Tudors had sort of been Joey’s bisexual awakening, and then he’d suddenly been thrust into the most bizarre experience of having to work fairly closely with the man.

Joey would never forget the feeling of Henry throwing him over his shoulder as if he wasn’t almost the same size as Henry.

Fuck, that had been hot.

And now, Joey had to cohabit with said crush for an indeterminate amount of time, preferably without making a fool of himself.

He was doomed.

Of course, he could have said no when Henry had offered his place when Joey was grumbling about being alone during lockdown after Madeleine's parents got sick, but no… Henry had stared at him with such shining hope in his eyes that Joey never stood a chance.

Joey just needed to keep reminding himself that Henry was straight. He was practically the poster boy for heteronormative; classically gorgeous, action star, gymrat, lover of sports and building fucking computers.

Okay, maybe Joey was generalising a tad, but it was a form of self-defence.

Christ, the mere thought that Henry could be interested in men… interested in him.

It was too much.

So here he was, saying goodbye to his best friend whilst waiting for his biggest crush to pick him up. Madeleine bundled into her car with the last of her bags, and Joey was left waiting on the pavement. In all honesty, he would have preferred to drive to Henry’s place himself or at least get the tube, something where he felt like he was actively doing something. The waiting was killing him, making his thoughts run out of control. Maybe he shouldn’t have packed his guitar. He could have at least been tuning it, or plucking out some meaningless melody, anything to keep his hands busy and his mind distracted.

When the black car pulled up, Joey let out a sigh of relief before realising that it was very much frying pan, fire. Luckily, before he could really start to panic, the back door opened and Joey was almost bowled off his feet by a large bundle of fur that Henry claimed was a dog and not, in fact, a bear.

“Kal!” Joey greeted warmly, burying his fingers into Kal’s neverending fur, and letting the dog lick all over his face.

“He’s missed you,” Henry called in lieu of a greeting.

He was wearing a grey henley that looked like it was two sizes too small and his dark blue jeans seemed to strain against his quads. Henry’s arms were crossed in front of his chest and he looked down at Joey with a blinding Hollywood smile that made Joey’s heart flutter. Dark curls seemed to have finally recovered from the weeks stuck under Geralt’s wig and they fell in front of his so very blue eyes.

He was bloody gorgeous, and it wasn’t fucking fair.

So Joey did the only logical thing, and started to coo at Kal instead. “I’ve missed him too,” he trilled happily into the dog’s fur, scratching Kal behind his ears. “Such a good boy! The bestest, cutest doggo.”

“He’s not the only one who’s missed you, you know,” Henry groused, although when Joey looked up, he was still smiling so Joey didn’t feel too bad for paying far more attention to Kal than the gorgeous specimen of a man that is Henry Cavill.

“Aww, you sap,” he chuckled. “Well, I still haven’t forgiven you for those cruel and terrible words you cursed me with the last time we met.”

It wasn’t the last time they’d met. They’d had a few scenes after the argument in episode six. Scheduling had meant that it wasn’t filmed entirely in order, and then there had been reshoots and post-production parties, premieres and the table reads for season two, but it was a sort of in-joke. Joey liked to tease Henry about the argument, they’d both lurked enough online to know that ‘the mountain’ was a big fucking deal to the fans of their characters.

Henry rolled his eyes and opened his arms out for a hug which Joey eagerly returned, inhaling the soft musky cologne that Henry wore and enjoying the strongs arms that wrapped around him. He loved hugs, but most of Joey’s male friends would do that god awful hug and pat thing, then pull away too soon. Henry had never been like that and it was delightful, even if it really didn’t help the not so little crush that Joey had on the man.

It was cliche but it really did feel like coming home.

Fuck.

He was utterly screwed… and not even in the fun way.

The drive to Henry’s place was quiet, Joey spent most of the time watching the streets of London roll past as they weaved through bendy roads that webbed across the city. The traffic was weirdly non-existent, a side effect of a global pandemic, and he couldn’t help but be reminded of the ghost towns from films and books.

It was truly haunting, spooky in just the right way. Horror and the Wild had very much had woodland magic vibes, but driving through the dead streets of London, Joey wondered what happened to the fae when a city sprung up near their home. Did they adapt like the wildlife did? Urban spirits that lurked in the shadows, in the alleys, behind the bins and cobbled streets at the back of theatres.

Most theatres were supposed to be haunted, Joey had always wondered just who the spirits were that glided through the aisles when the shows went dark.

Henry didn’t feel the need to fill the silence which Joey was grateful for. On set, with Jaskier on his fingertips, Joey was happy to joke about and laugh and banter, but he was nervous about the move to Henry’s and the silence gave him time to get lost in his own imagination, a reality that wasn’t quite the one they knew.

He was almost disappointed when the car pulled to a stop in front of a rather grand house. It was part of a terrace but that was unsurprising, most places in London were, but it was much nicer than the shitty little flat that Joey shared with Madeleine.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

They were poles apart. Even being friends was unrealistic. How the hell was Joey supposed to even pretend they were in the same league? It was fine. Everything was going to be fine. Joey just had to be a perfect house guest, no clumsy mistakes, no setting fire to any ovens, and no slipping in the shower and messing up his ankle.

He’d just have to spend all his time with Kal lest Henry find out just how much of a walking disaster he could be.

Henry had only offered because he was a caregiver, selfless and kind in everything he did. He would have done the same to anyone else if they’d mentioned spending lockdown alone. Joey was just the lucky one.

Or unlucky.

He hadn’t quite decided yet.

Yes, he would just have to spend his days with Kal and his guitar, stay out of Henry’s way and then everything would be fine.

Right?

___

Joey’s plan went according to plan for almost an entire week. He mostly kept to his room and occasionally the living room. Henry wanted to show Joey some films he liked and it would have been rude to say no, so Joey curled up with Kal on the floor to keep some space between them. That way he wouldn’t be tempted to snuggle up against Henry’s chest the same way he did with Madeleine, only it wouldn’t be the same because Madeleine was his best friend and Henry was… well… Henry.

It was such a mess.

And he was probably being an arse.

They’d gotten along so well on set in between takes, but now, without Jaskier there as a crutch, Joey’s anxiety was getting the better of him, and all because of a stupid crush. This would all be a lot easier if Joey were straight; no awkward crushes, no pining for a man he couldn’t have, no… whatever this was?

He could flirt and tease and banter just like he would with any of his friends because it was harmless.

If only.

No.

He had to do better. The reason Henry had invited him to stay was so neither of them would be alone, and despite all his cuddles with Kal, Joey was really starting to feel touch starved. He’d never gone so long without human touch.

The problem was that Henry was just so fucking sweet. He was so bloody understanding that it made Joey just yearn even harder. There was never any pressure to hang out, just gentle suggestions, and the most amazing home-cooked meals that Henry said could be heated up another time if Joey wasn’t hungry. The wine Henry picked out to go with the meal was heavenly, and fuck, the man could cook.

He felt like he was being seduced; wooed with the most gorgeous culinary delights that were truly to die for.

What was a poor bisexual to do?

So every evening Joey would sit across from Henry at the table, trying to joke and laugh just as they had before, but even to his own ears it felt flat. Madeleine’s voice in his head reminded him that that was probably his anxiety speaking but, of course, he ignored it. They ate their food and then Joey would either retreat to his room with his beloved guitar or Henry would suggest a film.

Until Henry decided enough was enough.

Joey was lured from his room with the sweet delicious smell of pizza, and when he came down the stairs he found Henry already on the couch, two boxes of pizza and a couple of beers already opened and ready to go.

There was no sitting on the floor, not with pizza and a Kal. Joey wouldn’t get to taste the greasy wonders of his takeaway if he sat on the floor, and the pizza box was already being guarded by Henry on the couch.

He had to break his rule.

Fuck.

“Kitchen table not good enough?” he teased with a quirk of his lips.

Henry scoffed. “Who eats pizza at the table?”

It was a fair point and sighed, resigning himself to an evening pressed up against his friend when his cuddle instincts got too much. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing, maybe it would help get him out of his head and into the moment… maybe he should just let Jaskier out of the box and pretend that all was fine?

No.

He could do this. Just… be himself?

“Before I open this box, there is one very important question I have to ask,” he said far too seriously, barely able to hide a smile as he scooped the pizza box into his lap and sat down next to Henry, keeping a safe distance between them.

“There’s no pineapple.”

“Oh thank fuck for that,” Joey laughed and opened the box. It was a standard pepperoni pizza, not his go to, but it was a safe option and one that was always yummy regardless of the restaurant. “Garlic dip?” he asked with a cock of his head.

“Damn, I hoped you wouldn’t like it,” Henry grumbled and pulled a small green topped tub from inside his own box.

“You!” Joey said in mock outrage, “keeping the beloved dip from me. It’s like the mountain all over again.”

“It’s not like the mountain,” Henry grumbled. “I didn’t make the script, you can’t keep blaming me for that.”

Joey’s heart sank as he wondered if he’d taken the joke too far, but when he met Henry’s gaze he saw the man was smiling despite his grousing. “I can,” he insisted.

“Hmm,” Henry replied in his most Geralt-y voice.

And with an internal sigh of relief, everything seemed to be okay. Yes, Joey was pulling some of his energy from his beloved character, but so was Henry, and it seemed to smooth out the edges of his anxiety. The beer helped and everything seemed a lot more relaxed with the takeaway pizza and the film already starting to play on the TV.

“I’m sorry,” Henry whispered after the pizza was finished and the credits had started to roll.

Joey’s head was resting on his friend’s shoulder but he’d managed to keep himself from koala hugging… so far. The vulnerability caught his attention though, and he sat up wearily to peer at Henry.

“For what?”

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable by inviting you here.”

Joey wanted to swear, to stomp around the room and tear the place upside down. He’d fucked up. He knew he’d fucked up, his damn anxiety keeping him from being the person he wanted to be, the person he knew he could be if his head just shut up! He didn’t do any of that though. Instead, he slumped back down to lean against Henry and took a deep breath.

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable.”

“I didn’t?”

“No. I’m just- it’s hard for me, being somewhere new,” not a lie, not entirely the truth, “and I didn’t want to encroach on your space. This is your home, and I- umm- I didn’t want to get in the way.”

Henry laughed, running a hand through his hair, pushing the curls back off his face, and Joey was entranced for a moment, wanting to reach out and feel the soft hair between his fingers for himself. It was a miracle that he managed to keep his hands in his own lap.

“Joey, this is our home, for now at least,” Henry said with such conviction and warmth that Joey made a sort of strangled noise in the back of his throat.

“Our home?”

“We have no idea how long this nightmare is going to last. It could be months, Joey. I want you to feel like you can relax here,” Henry insisted, wrapping his arm around Joey’s shoulder and pulling him into a sideways hug.

“Right- yeah, no, I know,” Joey mumbled, trying and failing not to blush.

Now that Henry wasn’t really having to watch what he ate and stay dehydrated for dear old Geralt, he was big.

And Joey was weak.

It was like all his wet dreams were becoming a reality, one by one.

He was just monkey-braining over the fact that Henry was one big, large, strong man that wanted to take care of him. It was pathetic. Joey wasn’t exactly small himself, and he could, should the role require it, hold up pretty well in a sword fight with Henry and not look entirely ridiculous.

“And I know Kal is very cute,” Henry teased, nodding to the dog who was sprawled on the carpet in front of them, “but if you ever need a hug, he’s not your only option.”

Joey definitely didn’t squeak this time. Instead, he finally let himself snuggle up to Henry the way he’d been wanting to all evening, every evening since he’d arrived. “Like this?” he teased.

Henry chuckled, and just squeezed his arms tighter around Joey, “Exactly.”

“I’m sorry,” Joey mumbled. “I was being an arse.”

“No, it’s not your fault.”

Joey scoffed.

“I should have been clearer on day one,” Henry sighed, “although seeing as you live here now, maybe you should cook?”

Joey laughed nervously, burying his face into Henry’s jumper. “Neither of us want that,” he muttered. “Trust me.”

“I’ll help?” Henry suggested, which of course brought forth a dozen images of cooking together, dancing in the kitchen to whatever songs fell past Joey’s lips, lazy early morning kisses as they waited for the coffee.

He swallowed, blinking away the fantasies. “How about you cook, and I’ll help?”

“Lazy,” Henry said with a chuckle but just pulled Joey closer.

“Only trying to keep you safe, darling.”

Darling.

Fuck.

“I mean, Henry, sorry, slip of the tongue. I mean- fuck. I call Madeleine darling all the time?”

“Joey, it's okay,” Henry reassured him.

“Okay.”

With a sigh, Joey untangled himself from Henry’s arms and gathered up the pizza boxes and empty beer cans. Booping Kal on the nose as he went past, he busied himself with clearing up. It wasn’t much and didn’t take long, so sooner than he would have liked he poked his head back around the door.

Henry was sitting on the floor, rough-housing Kal, chuckling as the dog kept licking at his face. The sight made Joey smile softly, and he almost didn’t want to leave, but he was getting tired and he really didn’t want to slip up again. He couldn’t blame every mistake on Madeleine. It wouldn’t be fair to her.

“I’m going to bed,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his hair. “See you tomorrow, Henry.”

_______

After that, things started to get easier. Joey would flop down onto the sofa next to Henry in the evenings regardless of what they were doing. Sometimes he’d lie with his head in Henry’s lap whilst they both read a book, other times he’d pluck at his guitar and laugh over stupid limericks that he could make up about his co-star. True to his word, Henry made Joey start helping with mealtimes, although he soon regretted that decision but refused to back down. The food still tasted good but the presentation was lacking. They spent an afternoon trying to bake bread together… Joey’s did not turn out so well and Henry’s attempt was thankfully less than perfect but still edible. The little flaws made Joey feel a little less inferior, and made Henry seem all the more human.

Kal still got a lot of Joey’s attention. How could he not? He was just so fluffy and adorable, plus Joey loved the little pout that Henry did whenever Kal got more hugs than he did. Joey could pretend that his friend was jealous, and that just helped him sleep a little easier at night.

Cuddling on the couch had become their usual routine, and it settled something deep inside of Joey that had been becoming restless. Mornings were spent watching Henry workout. Joey joined in occasionally but usually he would just cheer Henry on from the sidelines sipping his cup of tea. It was a sight to behold, and Joey thanked the lord that the gyms were currently closed otherwise he would never have been allowed to enjoy the view.

Henry’s arse was truly spectacular.

Despite his morning workouts, Henry had definitely gained a rather lovely layer of fat over his previously tightly toned muscles. He looked stronger. He looked cuddlier. Joey’s crush was only getting worse by the day, wanting to run his hands over the broad muscles of Henry’s back, thighs, arms… wherever he was allowed, but he just settled for the cuddling each day.

Joey tried not to think about the fat building over his own stomach and filling out his cheeks, barely noticeable unless you’d had a lifetime of his mother breathing down his neck about his weight. He was cuddlier too, that’s what he told himself whenever the familiar buzz of anxiety started to build up.

And anyway, Henry didn’t seem to mind.

Kal certainly didn’t. The beast of a dog had started to share the sofa with them in the evenings, squishing between them for maximum cuddle potential until eventually he got bored and retreated back to the floor.

It was really starting to feel like home. There were signs of Joey around the house, sheet music left on the TV cabinet, a set of spare lute strings in the kitchen, the bastard instrument tucked away in the corner of the living room until Joey could bring himself to pick it up. Two sets of keys now hung up by the front door so they could both take turns walking Kal without having to worry about getting locked out if the other was busy. A fluffy worn blanket was now strewn over the big armchair where Joey liked to sit during the day. Even the fridge now stocked Joey’s favourite rosé wine.

All in all, Joey wasn’t hating lockdown. It was frustrating but he enjoyed being inside anyway, and well, the company was pretty great.

The two of them were curled up on the sofa watching the Great British Bake Off on netflix, gin and tonics flowing a little too freely, and Joey felt like he was on top of the world. He had the best cuddler in all of England, nay, the world, a big fluffy puppy to boot and some bloody brilliant booze in hand.

The best thing was that Henry’s hoody had shifted up at some point during the evening, and Joey couldn’t take his eyes off the soft but defined muscles that were often hidden under Henry’s clothes. The dark hair that dipped beneath the exposed band of Henry’s boxers was tantalizing, and Joey longed to reach out and touch…

Only he was drunk enough that his inside thoughts had his hand moving before he could realise, landing on Henry’s stomach.

He froze and stared up at his friend with wide eyes.

“Oops,” he slurred.

“That’s my stomach,” Henry pointed out.

And still Joey didn’t remove his hand, relishing the bare skin beneath his fingertips, but he knew he needed an excuse, so he did the only logical thing and launched his attack. Henry was stronger than him, but Joey had the element of surprise as he tickled his friend, fingers dancing across the exposed skin as Henry desperately tried to shove Joey away. They were both laughing, too busy pushing and pulling at each other, that neither of them quite registered that at some point in the tussle, Joey had straddled Henry’s waist in an attempt to keep him pinned down.

Until suddenly their lips were barely a breath apart.

Oh.

“Hi,” Joey mumbled, smiling coyly down at Henry, the longer strands of his fringe falling into his eyes.

“Hi.”

It wouldn’t take much to lean down and kiss him, maybe Henry would even reach up first. There was no denying the sudden pull between them, and god, Joey wanted it. He’d wanted it for so long now.

So close.

The warmth of Henry’s breath brushing against his lips.

Eyes closed.

Hearts racing.

A soft whisper of a moan.

And then a bark rang out in the room, startling Joey and shattering the moment. He cursed as he fell to the floor, the world spinning from the gin and giddy burst of adrenaline. Kal jumped up into Henry’s lap, barking and whining excitedly at his owner, checking that he was okay following Joey’s tyrannical tickle attack.

Joey felt like an ice bucket had been dumped over his head, feeling far too sober, far too fast.

He’d almost kissed Henry.

Fuck!

“Right,” he slurred as he pushed his hands back through his hair- too long, needed a haircut. “Bedtime, sleep. Yup.”

“Joey?”

“See you in the morning?” he mumbled, although glancing at the clock, he wondered if that was a little optimistic. “Tomorrow,” he amended.

“Tomorrow,” Henry agreed, looking a little disappointed.

Joey refused to think about it. He wouldn’t start to hope. It would hurt too much if this all went wrong.

______

They didn’t talk about it.

Or rather, Joey, didn’t talk about it.

Henry tried to bring it up the next morning but Joey just laughed it off before his heart could get torn to pieces. He didn’t need confirmation that his crush was a no go. He already knew, but he really didn’t need to hear the words. Not to mention his hangover was an utter bitch and all he wanted to do was crawl back into bed and feel sorry for himself, which is exactly what he did.

After a few days, or was it weeks, months, years? Time seemed to stop existing, all Joey knew was his clothes seemed to be tighter than before and he was in desperate need of a haircut, but after a lockdown-eque period of time, all was forgotten. They fell back into their usual routine, and Joey’s crush continued to simmer just below the surface, unnoticed by Henry.

He’d started to facetime Madeleine most evenings just before bed now that the novelty of living with a bloody filmstar had worn off. He missed her terribly and she seemed to be going crazy at her parent’s house. There was a twinge of guilt stabbing in his chest when he realised he’d all but forgotten about her the first few weeks of lockdown, but it was nice to catch up with her again.

Henry was brilliant, but he was no Madeleine Hyland. He wasn’t Joey’s best friend.

And sometimes Joey just needed to vent about Henry’s stranger habits. Like seriously, why wass there that weird sponsored water just stationed around the house? And what was with the weirdly staged selfies on instagram. It made Joey feel a whole lot better about his own lack of media presence. He’d rather be a mystery online than this boomer energy than Henry had going on.

Venting to Madeleine helped too, he got less frustrated about the shit hole that was life during a pandemic. A little less angry, a little less depressed, and a little less pathetic with his pining over Henry, although Madeleine would probably disagree.

She was probably right.

The sudden cold turn in the weather hadn’t helped. It wasn’t too bad but Joey had mostly brought summer clothes with him because he honestly hadn’t thought he’d be staying more than a couple of weeks. Thankfully he’d thrown in a couple of onesies for comfort reasons so he spent most his days dressed like a tiger and hoping that Henry would find it endearing. The best part was his onesies were a bit looser and fit him more comfortably than his normal clothes. A lockdown diet was brilliant, but not exactly what he’d had in mind when he’d gone shopping all those years ago.

What he hadn’t expected, was for Henry to rock up to dinner wearing the stupid bunny onesie that Joey had left in his room.

“There,” Henry greeted him with a broad smile, “Now we match.”

It wasn’t fair. Joey wanted to kiss him so badly. The white onesie was a little short on Henry, pulling up just above his ankles, and it still managed to stretch at his shoulders, but it was so fucking adorable and Joey could pin point the exact moment his crush tumbled over the edge into love.

It was the crinkles at the corner of Henry’s eyes as he smiled, the slight tilt of his head, the sparkle in his ocean blue eyes.

Except they weren’t just blue. No, there were specks of golden brown in one eye, that were just captivating. Joey felt like he could so easily get lost in Henry. Every time he looked at the man he found something new and exciting.

“Darling, you look adorable!” he cooed, before he could get too distracted by the fluttering of his own heart. “Very cuddly.”

Henry chuckled and opened his arms wide, allowing Joey to barrel into them. “That was the idea.”

“So, what’s for dinner?” he asked, hoping that Henry would have forgotten that-

“It’s your turn to cook.”

“Bugger,” Joey whined. “Cheesy pasta?”

“You made that last time,” Henry teased.

“I’m very good at carbonara!” Joey countered.

“Melted cheese on pasta isn’t carbonara.”

Joey scoffed. “Eh, close enough.”

“Fine, make your cheesy pasta.”

“Carbonara,” Joey said with a wink. “I’ll add bacon this time.”

The pasta was overcooked and the bacon was a little chewy, but it was dinner, and afterwards Henry made them both extravagant hot chocolates made from actual chocolate rather than powder shit that Joey used. It was covered in whipped cream and marshmallows and had a healthy amount of Baileys to top it off. They curled up on their usual spot on the sofa, buried under blankets and held the warm mugs close to their chests.

If it had been snowing, then Joey would have thought he’d walked into a Christmas film, all it needed was a fireplace and some fairy lights. It was cosy and warm, and a little bit romantic, or it would be if Henry was interested in men and Joey was his type.

No, he couldn’t think like that.

They were friends, good friends, good friends that liked to cuddle and almost kiss if the dog hadn’t interrupted.

It was fine.

Everything was fine.

He took a long gulp of his hot chocolate to stave off his anxiety, not noticing when his nose dived straight into the whipped cream until he looked up to find Henry staring at him with a fond expression. Warmth flooded through Joey’s chest as he returned the smile, feeling high on love and sugar.

“Hi,” he breathed, sounding as love sick as he felt.

Henry’s smile brightened, filling the whole room with light and Joey could have sworn he could hear the swell of violins in the soundtrack of his life.

“Hi,” Henry replied easily as if he hadn’t stolen Joey’s breath, heart and soul. “You- umm, cream, here!”

Henry tapped his own nose.

“Oh cock!” Joey hurried to wipe his nose, almost spilling his hot chocolate in the process, “Fuck! Bugger, shit balls!”

Henry, the bastard, just laughed, his arms reaching out to steady the mug and stop Joey from falling to the ground. “I think you made it worse.”

Joey snorted “I got that, yup, thanks.”

This time he could feel the sticky sweet cream clinging to his cheek, the subtle taste of vanilla on his lips. He pouted up at Henry, gazing through his eyelashes in a way that he hoped could be played off as friendly, but also maybe a little bit seductive. His tongue flicked out to lick his lips and he barely resisted the urge to wink.

Maybe there had been more Bailey’s in his drink than he realised.

Instead, he just wiped his face and snuggled back up to Henry, pulling the blanket up to his chin. They settled on watching Always Sunny, so Joey didn’t really have to concentrate. He let the tension drain from his body as he listened to the familiar TV show and then closed his eyes. Warm, happy and wrapped up in the arms of the man he loved-

Joey fell asleep.

He didn’t notice the way Henry was staring down at him as if he hung the fucking moon and stars, or the inner turmoil his friend was plague with as Henry resisted leaning down to kiss Joey in his sleep.

No, Joey was blissfully ignorant, sleeping better than he had in weeks.

________

The rest of lockdown went by in a blur. Their routine started to seem normal and any doubts Joey had about spending so much time with Henry faded away. They bantered easily like they had on set, laughing and giggling over whatever stupid thing one of them had said. Henry would spend hours playing his video games whilst Joey zoomed Madeleine to work on their new album together. When the regulations relaxed they started to walk Kal together, enjoying the quiet summer days and fresh air. The cuddling never really stopped, and some mornings Joey would wake up still curled up against Henry’s chest, their limbs tangled from the night before.

Those were Joey’s favourite mornings. He’d be stiff all day from sleeping on the couch but he could pretend, for just a few moments, that things were more than they were.

The pining never went away but it was truly the sweetest torture that he’d ever had to endure. The domestic bliss being barely a step away from everything he craved.

And when the time came for Joey to return to his flat with Madeleine, he felt like shit. He didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay in the strange fantasy world he had with Henry, eating too much food and drinking too much wine, cuddling and watching crappy Netflix shows.

Which was why he was sat, staring at a messy pile of clothes on his bed, clothes he’d not worn in weeks. Over the chair were his onesies and a collection of jumpers and hoodies that he’d stolen from Henry over the last few months and weeks. Kal stared up at him from the floor, tail thumping against the carpet.

Joey sighed and ran his hand through his hair, trying desperately to ignore the ache in his chest that was growing more painful with everything second that passed. “I don’t know, Kal. I should be happy about going home.”

Kal didn’t respond, his tail still wagging away just like it always did whenever Joey paid attention to him.

“I miss Madeleine, of course I do, but living with Henry has been great. And you, I love you, big fluffy puppy!” He cooed with a big smile as Kal barked happily and jumped up onto the bed. Joey laughed as he tried to keep his face away from the attack, wrapping his arms around Kal’s neck and pressing his nose into the fur.

“If I tell him how I feel that’s just going to make season two really really awkward, but I just feel like I’m missing a chance, you know?”

If Kal knew, he either didn’t care or just enjoyed watching Joey suffer. There was no reply and Kal just rested his head in Joey’s lap.

“Yeah, right,” he muttered, still running his fingers through Kal’s fur. “You’re no use.”

Kal snorted at that and Joey rolled his eyes.

“But I love you anyway, yes I do!”

“Ready to go?” Henry asked from the door.

“Shit!” Joey yelped. “How long have you been standing there?!”

Henry chuckled, striding into the room and perching on the bed opposite Joey. He reached out to scratch Kal on the head with a dazzling smile. Joey felt his cheeks warm up and he buried his face in Kal’s fur to hide the blush. So many months and he still couldn’t stop his heart from racing whenever Henry smiled. He was pathetic.

And he was running out of time.

He knew it was a bad idea, even entertaining the thought of dating a co-star, but he’d regret it if he didn’t give it a shot. I mean he could always blame the mixed signals if it went wrong. They’d nearly kissed twice and Joey didn’t even cuddle Madeleine as much as he’d cuddled Henry. They were probably the only people that were less touch-starved during the lockdown than before.

So Joey was going to tell him.

Just three words.

He could do that.

Fuck!

He couldn’t do that.

“Joey?” Henry said, reaching out to squeeze Joey’s shoulder.

Joey blinked. Had Henry been talking to him? He’d asked a question so that would make sense. God, his anxiety had gone through the roof, it was like that first day all over again.

“Need to pack,” he mumbled, gesturing at his clothes.

Henry let out a long and heavy sigh, sounding just as thrilled about the idea as Joey did. “I suppose you do, yeah. When is Madeleine due over?”

Joey hummed, glancing at his watch. “Ten minutes ago. Lockdown traffic must be a thing of the past.”

“Pity.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah,” Henry sighed.

Neither of them moved, both staring glumly at Kal who was happily nestled between them. It was strange but Joey had almost begun to think of Kal as his, theirs. Their home, their life, their dog. He would miss Kal very much.

He would miss Henry even more.

“Do you have a start date yet?” Joey asked, the restrictions were lifting and there were talks about getting back to work again, but it was all up in the air.

Henry shook his head. “Should be getting a call from my agent some time this week. I need to make sure my other projects can work around the schedule.”

Joey smirked, “Or my dear witcher will have a new face next time we meet,” he teased.

Henry scoffed. “Not a chance, you’re stuck with me, bard.”

“You still owe me an apology,” Joey shot back, not quite realising how close they’d gotten during their mock argument.

He swallowed and licked his lips, one hand reaching up to scratch the stubble on his cheek. His face was burning right up to the tips of his ears, his heart thumping in his chest. There was a spark of electricity crackling between them, the scent of coffee lingering on Henry’s breath.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Henry promised, voice hoarse and low, making heat spread through Joey’s body and the world around them seemed to disappear.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Henry breathed, the words shaky.

Joey longed to reach out and brush his fingertips along the strong line of Henry’s jaw, to feel the scratch of stubble beneath his skin. He longed to tangle his hands in the dark mess of curls, to see if they were really as soft as they looked. It felt as if there was a magnetic force pulling them closer, a string tying their souls together, binding them as one. Joey couldn’t ignore even if he wanted to, and he was over that. He couldn’t live inside his head any longer, not when there was a chance.

Hope.

Deadly, poisoning his very soul, until he could think of nothing except Henry’s lips on his, hands roaming bodies, pulling at hair, unable to resist the promised pleasures of sin. Tongues tangling. Hearts singing. One breath shared between two. Heat. Lust. Love.

Just Henry.

His love.

Joey closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against Henry’s, their lips barely ghosting over each other, you really couldn’t call it a kiss; not yet. One more breath, a millimetre to close the gap.

A horn honked from outside and they pulled apart before they could cross the bridge, past the point of no return.

Joey let out a slightly manic laugh and ran his hands through his hair, whilst Henry went back to stroking Kal as he cleared his throat.

“Bollocks, I still haven’t packed.”

“I’ll invite Madeleine in for some tea,” Henry chuckled, stretching as he stood up.

Kal barked happily and jumped down, wagging his tail as he sniffed at Henry’s socks.

And Joey was left alone once more.

“Fuck!” he groaned, covering his face as he flopped back onto his pillows.

By the time he finished packing, Madeleine and Henry were laughing away in the kitchen like old friends.

Like Joey and Henry had so many times.

He wasn’t special. Henry was just that guy.

Hope.

Dangerous and lethal, stabbing into the heart and tearing the soul apart.

“Ready,” Joey mumbled, holding up his suitcase and guitar. “Might take a couple of trips, I have another bag upstairs and the damn lute.”

“Not sure I ever heard you play the lute?” Henry teased.

“Yeah well,” Joey grumbled and turned away from the kitchen before he could start crying.

He really really didn’t want to cry in front of Henry. What was a little heartbreak between friends? At least he could channel that into Jaskier whenever they finally got back onto set. God, he was a fucking mess.

“I’ll help you,” Henry volunteered because of course he would. He probably just wanted Joey gone sooner.

The poor bloke probably couldn’t wait to have his own space back without Joey’s inedible attempts at cooking, non-stop music and chatter, lazy slobbish evenings in front of the TV.

He wasn’t going to cry.

He wasn’t.

Fuck!

Joey sniffed and stumbled out the door, his hands gripping his suitcase so tight he thought he might break the handle. Back home with Madeleine, to his life, and his bed, and nights spent drinking too much wine and lurking on social media.

He’d just about managed to throw his suitcase into the boot when he heard a loud bark behind him, followed by Henry grunting. Joey was almost knocked off his feet as Kal bundled into him, circling around as he jumped up, winding the lead around Joey’s body and pulling a poor Henry with him.

Not that Joey was particularly complaining about having Henry pressed up against him, but did it have to be when he was crying?

Henry cursed, struggling to keep hold of the lead. Their faces were close and they had to wrap their arms around each other to keep steady. Joey laughed through his tears, reminded of a similar moment from one of his favourite Disney films.

Only Kal was a lot bigger than a Dalmatian.

“I don’t think he wants you to leave?” Henry said, smiling sheepishly.

Joey smiled back despite his broken heart. “Doesn’t look like it.”

“I- I don’t want you to leave either,” Henry whispered so quietly that Joey wasn’t sure whether he’d heard it at all. “I- umm, I like having you here… with me.”

“Oh,” Joey replied stupidly.

“Fuck, I- Joey… Can- can I kiss you?”

The world turned upside down. Joey's heart stopped and everything started to spin. He tried to process the words but nothing seemed to make sense. There was no fucking way that Henry had said that, that he wanted to- wanted to…

Fuck!

“Oh,” he repeated, blinking at Henry as he licked his lips. “I mean. Fuck. No, I mean… Christ. Yes. Please. Yes.”

Henry chuckled and cupped his cheek, pressing their lips together in the most tender of kisses, taking Joey’s breath away right there on the pavement. Joey just giggled when they parted and then swooped back in for another kiss, and another-

And he never wanted to stop.

He didn’t need to breathe, he just needed this; Henry’s lips on his.

Henry had other ideas though, pulling away with a blinding smile.

“Stay with me?”

Joey nodded and threw his arms around Henry’s neck. “God, yes.”

And then they kissed some more. They had months of lockdown to catch up on, after all.

#the witcher rpf #henry cavill rpf #Joey batey rpf #Joey batey/henry cavill #Joey/henry

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royallyprincesslilly · 4 years

Text

Title: Kismet {7}

Henry Cavill x Famous OFC Aliya Taylor

Warning: Plot, Slow Burn, Mild Cursing

Words: 5.1k

Summary: Aliya is a singer turned model turned actress. Since she was fifteen, she’s been creating her empire in the entertainment world. As the daughter of a famous fashion model/designer and Hollywood director, you’d think life is easy for her, but her past has been anything but easy. Due to past trauma, she’s forever changed and no longer trusts any man that is not in her family and a select few in her team. She’s sworn off love and serious relationships and has planned never to fall again, but love isn’t something that can be planned. It just happens when it’s meant to. Can Aliya outrun a love that seems hellbent on holding tight to her, a love that is Kismet?

If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!! 😘

As always, thank you so much for reading. ❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

***Interactive***

Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

-Henry-

He tossed from his right.

“This has been fun. You seem like a really good person on top of being uber-talented. I wish you nothing but continued success in your career and life, but for anything here, I don’t think it’s going to happen,”

He turned to his left.

“I don’t do drama or messy, and your situation screams drama and mess.”

He rolled from his back.

“The bottom line is I’ve broken three rules already when it comes to you, and I will not break this one.”

He flipped to his stomach.

“Goodbye, Henry.”

That was always when he leaped up, sweating, panting, and wide awake. It was always the same time. Two in the morning and he always had the same feelings. Regret. Resentment. Emptiness. He hated those words when put together. Every night for the last two days, it was the same thing. He’d go about his business, work, fulfill his obligations, meet family and friends to catch up, all the while thinking he saw you at the most inopportune times. He remembered the first time he thought he saw you. He was having lunch with his brothers, their wives, girlfriends, and nephews. In the middle of his conversation, from clear across the restaurant, he thought he saw you. The woman didn’t even look a lot like you. The only thing you shared in resemblance was the complexion of your skin and your hair color. He knew then he’d lost his mind and was acting out of character.

Usually, if he were in this situation, he would have already moved on. He never dwelled on situations that didn’t serve a purpose for him. He was straightforward and preferred those he spent his time with to be the same. If a woman didn’t seem interested and went as far as to tell him goodbye at every chance she got, he would fade away. That is what he should do; instead, he continuously thought about you.

He went back and forth in his head about where you were getting your assumptions and why were you so quick to think the worst of him. It was apparent to deduce that you probably had a bad past experience with someone to have become so standoffish. There was no way someone would give off such conflicting vibes if they hadn’t been burned before.

If he didn’t imagine you throughout his day, he was dreaming of you coming up with words he should have or could have said when you were in front of him. When he thought to call you, he always turned against it. What was the point? You’d made your decision and come up with your assumptions on who he was. He wasn’t in the practice of pleading with women to give him a second chance or even a true first one.

By day three, he found himself ignoring his wounded pride and ego. By no means was it easy to do. In truth, it had been years since he’d ever felt this way—rejected. It was humbling. Since the years when his star had officially risen so far in the Hollywood stratosphere, every woman he’d ever either approached or been approached by never rejected him. In no way was he cocky enough to think women couldn’t reject him. He just thought he felt something and that something was mutual.

“Another beer?”

“Uh—no, a glass of water, please.”

“Tap, sparkling, flavored sparkling?”

Scoffing, he shrugged then said the first that that came to mind. “Sparkling lemon is fine. Thank you.”

The waitress nodded and walked back the way she came with his empty beer glass in hand. Today was necessary. It was long overdue. Glancing at his watch, he noted it was ten minutes past when he suggested the meetup. He also noted that he was annoyed with this lateness but not with yours. Groaning, he rubbed the back of his neck, trying to rub out the tension that rested there.

“Hey, honey.”

Snapping his eyes open, he saw Abby’s cheerfully smiling face. Her blonde hair was styled with bouncy curls that framed her blue-eyed face. She leaned closer as if she intended to kiss him, tilting his face to the side, her lips landed on his cheek.

“Oh,” Abby said, voice filled with disappointment.

“Sit, join me,” he said, hoping to distract from the slight he’d just shown her.

Abby sat on the stool across from him after placing her purse to hand on the side of it. When she leaned forward, his eyes dropped to her top's cleavage before they instantly came right back up to her face.

“How are you, babe?”

“Good.

“I missed you so much. You have no idea. There were so many things I wanted to tell you,” Abby began before he could start the conversation.

He listened and nodded along as she went on and on about the things that were going on in her life. She talked for so long that he was able to drink the entire glass of water the waitress brought over. When the waitress came back to take their orders, he had to step in.

“Uh, can you give us a few moments?”

“Sure.”

Abby’s eyebrows knitted, showing her confusion.

“I wanted to talk, Abby.”

“About what, Henners?”

Taking a deep breath, he slowly released it. “A while ago, we talked, and I thought it was clear where my head was when I said we need space and to distance ourselves from each other. I thought we both understood what that meant, but—I can see I wasn’t clear.”

He could see the worry in her eyes, and he hated to do this, but it had to be done. “I think you should move on…we both should. I didn’t mean to give the impression that there was hope for reconciliation or even that this would turn into a fling of some sort. I’m sorry for not being clear. However, I think I have to be crystal now. You have to stop calling and texting and allow yourself to move on.”

She didn’t speak for a full two minutes.

“Really?”

“Yes, I’m sorry. I just--.”

“—No, no, I get it. I really do. I--,” Abby stuttered without making any eye contact. She stood, reached for her purse, and schlepped it onto her shoulder.

“Abby, I’m--,” He began begore she cut him off.

“Don’t worry about it. You were clear before I just thought—guess I hoped if I showed you I was serious and willing to try that you’d come back.”

He felt like a world-class wanker. As he opened his mouth to say something, Abby held her hand up, smirked, and turned to walk out of the restaurant. Sighing, he made eye contact with the waitress and raised his hand for the check. One down, one more to go. By the time dinner rolled around, his FaceTime call with Francesca went a lot better. Though he could tell her defiance and reluctance to accept his wishes, she eventually did, eventually being the operative word. It took nearly twenty minutes.

As he sat with his glass of red wine and his pasta dinner with Kal at his feet with his bowl filled with his gourmet feast and a new bone for dessert, he noted everything was quiet. His home was silent, and his thoughts were even more so. It dawned on him then. This was the first time in three years he was absolutely free with no attachments to anyone. It was something that made him pause. His life was a busy one, and he’d seen the inside of a movie trailer more than he’d seen the inside of his own home. With him traveling so much, dating was hard and more a nuisance.

That was how Abby and Francesca came into the picture. He’d dated Francesca on and off for years before she ended things believing he didn’t want anything stable only to come back into the picture. Abby was a one-night thing that kept happening whenever he was home. Both required so little besides some attention here or there. It was probably what he gravitated to. It was low stress and a low chance of any emotional entanglement that he didn’t want--until he met you.

After dinner and a quick walk for Kal, he found himself in for the night with one thing on his mind. You.

“Bollocks! Just call her. Call her. It’s no big deal,” he said, trying to hype himself up.

Feeling brave, he quickly grabbed his phone and tapped your number in his contacts. By the time the first ring began, he’d changed his mind and promptly ended the call.

“You’re an idiot, mate!”

He knew he was in for another sleepless night.

~~~~~~~~~~

-Aliya-

Chewing your bottom lip, you stared at his name on your phone. It could have been seen as a little bit of divine intervention. For the last week, you’d gone back and forth, up and down, and around your decision to walk away from him and end things. Part of you knew it was the right thing to do. He was clearly tangled up in some sort of drama, some sort of playboy lifestyle that you didn’t want any part of. There were even times you felt like a hypocrite. You were dating two men at once. Yes, they both knew about each other, but still, it was technically the same thing. Your life was drama free because you worked hard to keep it that way, and that included exchanges between Jesse and Liam.

In the beginning, six months ago, you’d made it crystal clear to both of them that you didn’t want any serious commitments. You told them that your career, businesses, and workload kept you plenty busy and gave you enough headaches, and you expected none from them. You set out the rules; they followed them and kept the drama to themselves. Did they like each other? Maybe not. Did they like the idea of sharing you? Maybe not. Did you care? Eh, not really. You mainly entertained them when you had some free time and wanted to de-stress. As said before, you liked drama free.

“Why’re you staring so hard at your phone?”

Jumping, you tried to hide it, but you weren’t quick enough. Amaya was the one to grab it from you to see Henry’s name. The sound she made said she disapproved.

“Still can’t believe you did that man like that.”

Kissing your teeth, you snatched your device back and sat on one of the stools around the kitchen island.

“What else was I supposed to do? Join the equation and become part of a square?

“The only fun shapes are triangles because they equal threesomes,” Amaya began, making you and Alicia stare at her as if she’d lost her mind. “However, squares can be fun.”

“You’ve lost your mind. In no situation is three women duking it out for one man fun. A quick departure was the only move,” you defended.

“Honestly if, and I say if with hella contingencies, if, if, if he were actually sleeping with two other women, then yes, you did the right thing. There is no sharing unless it’s with another man for my attention,” Amaya announced.

“The problem is, though, we don’t know if he was sleeping with these women. You made an assumption, didn’t really allow him to explain,” Alicia countered.

“What! He had the entire discussion on the corner.”

“After you’d accused him of being a cheat and fuckboi? After you’d probably offended him by taking strikes on his character? There are plenty of things that are different between Americans and Brits. What was you asserting your position could be disrespect to them,” Alicia, the voice of reason, theorized.

You knew she was right on some level. You’d spent enough time in England to know the etiquette and social differences. From his cold demeanor, before you walked away, you knew you’d either injured his pride or pissed him off. Hell, both were very possible.

“Look, I’m not saying don’t stand up for yourself with letting someone know what you will or won’t accept. I’m saying maybe there was a better way. Maybe one that didn’t leave you second-guessing yourself and thinking about him.”

You hated when she saw right through you, hated when she was right, and hated even more when she called you out rather than letting you rock. Groaning, you shut your phone off and placed it face down, deciding to do what you did best—ignore everything.

You’d thought about him a lot over the last week, and within the last week, you’d come across more Henry Cavill content than you had in the entire year. There were InStyle interviews, promos, magazine articles, Instagram posts that were now on your feed because of one time you tapped on a picture to get a closer look. There were even YouTube videos of him reading thirsty tweets. Lord have mercy. He was everywhere, and the more you saw of him, the more you thought of him.

One thing you didn’t see regarding him were any tabloid pictures of him out and out with any woman. He was always pictured with family, his dog, friends, or by himself. That tidbit had you wondering if you’d been wrong about things. You hated second-guessing; it always left you in this weird hyper anxious state. You usually got a lot done when you were like this, but it left you exhausted.

“Have you thought of your two boyfriends as much as you’ve thought about this never was one?”

Why was she like this? She’d always been this way. She held nothing back, but where Alicia was the same, they differed in that Alicia had a way of being blunt but also being gentle. Amaya didn’t give a shit. She said what she meant with no care if the recipient felt offended.

“I’m gonna take your silence as a no. when was the last time you’ve actually spent any time with them? Bored?”

“I’m hungry, let’s eat,” you said, walking out of the kitchen making your way to the home cinema room. You knew how to flip a subject if you no longer wanted to talk about it.

The two of them followed behind you, then dropped into one of the large relaxing couches. Knowing you didn’t want to talk about it anymore, the two focused on figuring out a movie for tonight’s movie cinema. It had been weeks since the three of you had been able to do this, and it was long overdue.

Once you’d found something, the rest of the night was spent laughing, gossiping, being extra, eating and drinking while watching movie after movie. Thankfully the conversation remained off of you and on the two of them. Alicia spoke about her recent date while Amaya let you in on the status of her latest situationship. While the focus didn’t return to you and yours, your mind was sure focused on one thing. Henry.

Two days later, while you were locked in your office trying to make something of the mess of work before you, you got a notification from Instagram. Deciding you needed a break, you opened up the app and scrolled through your feed. After a minute or so, you came across a post on some gossip site. It was a picture of Henry’s smiling face with a caption that read, “Happy Birthday to Henry Cavill. This hunk of a man is celebrating a birthday today across the pond, and many women wish they could ring it in with him. From your fans on this side of the pond, Happy birthday!”

Your jaw dropped. It was Henry’s birthday.

“Is it really?”

That began a dive into the internet, which led you to the first site, IMDB. Sure enough, according to his fans, it was his birthday, May fifth.

“Wow.” Jumping back to Instagram, you typed his name in for a tag search and scrolled through the plethora of birthday wishes and fan page tributes. It was plain as day to see that his fans sure loved them some Henry Cavill. It was cute. After almost twenty minutes of scrolling, you began to debate if you should send him a birthday message. You wondered if it was appropriate.

“Is it appropriate to send a birthday wish to a man that wasn’t really yours to begin with but knew what your mouth tasted like?”

Closing your eyes for a few moments, you decided it wasn’t.

“Not appropriate, especially considering you were the one to end things. However, there was really nothing to end. We were never a we.”

Sitting in silence for another few minutes, you rolled your eyes.

“It is rude, though, if I don’t send something,” you finalized, admonishing the British etiquette coursing through your blood.

You dropped your head to the desk and groaned. This was ridiculous, you thought. It shouldn’t be this complicated.

“You’re making it complicated, dummy. Just send the message.”

Taking a few moments to gather your thoughts, you sat up again as if nothing had happened for the last fifteen minutes of indecisiveness and began your text. You typed a few beginnings and deleted them. You didn’t know how to begin. Did you just jump in and ignore the massive elephant in the room? Did you address the elephant but get right to the birthday wish? Your etiquette training said to address the elephant but in a ladylike manner then proceed to the birthday wish. That’s what you should have done. Your real-world girl living said to ignore that elephant and get right to it, then bury your head and see how he takes it.

MSG: It’s your birthday, well, according to IMDB and all your Cavillry fans. Did you know your fans call themselves the Cavillry? That’s pretty insane and hilarious. Anyway, I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I know you never told me when it was but the wonders of the internet. Yes, I might have googled you. Anyway, I hope your birthday is filled with laughter, fun, happiness, and wonder because you just might deserve all three. Be safe and live like it’s your last.

Yeah, you ignored the fuck out of that elephant and took it to a whole other level. Full-on avoidance. As you looked over the message, you chewed your bottom lip, a nervous tick you never got rid of. When three or four minutes passed by with no response, your anxiousness picked up. That was when you slid it away and got back to work, determined not to obsesses over it.

~~~~~~~

-Henry-

Shocked could have summed up what he felt when he saw your message. Shocked and stunned silent. It happened at the weirdest time too. He was in the middle of a get together with his family for his birthday. With his Guinness in hand, he just happened to glance at his phone as he was going to snap a picture of something funny Simon was doing.

“What’s the matter with you?”

Shaking his head, he spun around to face Piers on his right. “Nothing. I’m good,” he lied.

“No, you’re not,” Simon said, coming up on his left to sit at the table. “Which one is it, Francesca or Abby?”

He rolled his eyes at Simon, not finding any humor in his words. His brothers laughed at him because they all knew the story there.

“You have the worst taste in women,” Nik began slapping him hard on his shoulder. “You either choose the ones who have ulterior motives hence Abby, or the ones who want different things than you, Francesca,” he finished.

“At least the women I get are beautiful,” he compensated quite pathetically. It was a horrible comeback, but it was all he had. He hated not having some sort of comeback when his brothers ganged up on him. It took him back to being a child.

“Francesca was beautiful, Abby—was adorable a little immature though,” Piers added with a shrug to the end.

He couldn’t deny that. “She was,” he said with a nod. “Very jealous too.”

“So, who was the message from?”

“No one.”

It was a blatant lie.

“Oh, it’s someone all right,” Piers called out.

He groaned, knowing they wouldn't let it go until he’d told them. Sighing, he gulped his beer before he began.

“Remember the woman I told you about?”

The three of them looked confused as if he'd never mentioned you before.

“The one who had your phone?”

“Yes. Turns out, she saw the messages for and from Abby and Francesca.”

They all looked confused again. “So what?”

Simon shook his head before he spoke. “He’s interested in her.”

“Who is this woman, anyway?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he replied to Nik’s curiosity. He wanted to keep some privacy, especially now that you’d decided he was some male gigolo.

“We went out on three dates. The second date goes well--.”

“—How well?”

He couldn’t help but smile at Simon’s inquiry. His memory was still fresh from what he was classifying as the best second date he’d ever had. When his chuckle broke through, his brothers’ interest piqued.

“Really well, I see,” Nik professed.

“Not like that. It was just a kiss, or three kisses, three incredible kisses. Anyway, she ignores me for a few days; then I see her in New York about a week ago. We had dinner with her friends, then breakfast the next day. Everything seemed fine, after she tells me that nothing is going to happen between us.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that. She said she saw the messages, and she doesn’t do drama or messy, and she thinks I’m juggling two women, and she has rules she’s broken and won’t break the drama rule,” he informed. As he said the words, his annoyance rose again.

“Woah. A lot going on there,” Simon began before he gulped his beer.

“What rules?”

“I don’t know. She said she wished me success in the future, but we were done,” he finished.

“To be fair, you are juggling two women. You and Francesca have this weird relationship where she wants more from you, but you’re not willing to give it to her, so she tries to see if it’s enough, and it’s not. That’s the back and forth,” Piers summed up. He finished his beer then continued. “With Abby, I don’t know your problem. You know you need to end it, but maybe the shag is too good.”

“Hey!”

Their laughter rang out again.

“Honestly, my world gets lonely, and it’s nice to have someone that wants you around instead of being all work,” he divulged.

“Even if you don’t feel anything for that someone?”

Simon hit the nail right on the head. Sighing, he shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I cut ties with them both.”

“Whatever,” Nik scoffed.

“I’m serious. It was last week. It was like breaking up with them all over again.” He shuddered, thinking back to the experience.

“So, they’re gone?”

“Gone and done,” he confirmed.

“And things with this woman?”

“I don’t know what to do. She doesn’t seem that interested. It seems as if she’s being friendly, but that’s it.”

“Did she kiss you back?”

Nodding to Piers, he replied. “She did.”

“Does she give you eye contact, or do you catch her watching you sometimes?”

It was an odd question, but he briefly thought it over before he answered Simon's inquiry.

“Yes.”

“She’s into you,” Piers, Simon, and Nik said in unison.

“Then why brush me off? She just seems—unattainable.”

“Be careful with those types of women,” Nik warned.

“I’ve heard nothing for a little over a week, and now she sends me this message.”

“Read it.”

Opening the message back up, he read your text to his curious brothers. As he read, he glanced at each of their faces trying to gauge what they were thinking. They each looked to be thinking different things, though. Once he finished, he looked at all of them.

“That was nice of her,” Simon expressed.

“Sounds like she’s being friendly,” Piers added.

“That’s good and well. What do I say?”

“Nothing.”

“No. Thanks,” Piers suggested conflicting with Nik’s advice.

“Thanks? That’s it?”

“That’s it. Guarantee it’ll drive her crazy.”

He looked between them again, and seeing them nodding together; he decided what the hell.

MSG Henry: Thanks.

“Good. Now forget her, and let’s get out of here to enjoy your birthday!”

Five minutes later, they were on their way to one of the city's exclusive gentlemen's clubs. While this establishment wasn’t a traditional strip club, there were women in cages and frames throughout the club. It was a popular location among Londoners and one he’d been to once or twice already.

Once they walked into the club through the VIP entrance, they were led to one of the private sections for celebrities. After almost ten minutes inside, he noticed the eyes on him, but he did his best to ignore it. It was his birthday, after all, and he intended to enjoy it to the fullest.

Fifteen minutes later, he’d had two more beers and was now surrounded by a few women who eagerly tried to gain his favor. They each talked about something different, making it difficult to focus on anyone. When one of the women pulled him up to dance, the other sandwiched him making him the prime meat between them all. When his brothers glanced over, they all released an uproar of cheers. It was absolute lunacy, and the longer he remained there, the crazier things became. Though he partied and enjoyed the night, you weren’t far from his mind.

By the time they staggered out of the club, the paps were there to catch the women's desperateness as they exited the club. Though they tried, he got into the taxi with only his brothers as his company. He wasn’t the kind of man to have a string of one night affairs. It was too reckless for him.

~~~~~~~~~

-Aliya-

Thanks. That’s what he chose to reply with thirty minutes from when I sent the message. Thanks. Not thank you, but thanks. Not I appreciate you taking the time. Thanks. Not you’re so sweet to think of me. Just thanks. It boiled your blood. You were confused by, annoyed with, and dissatisfied with the message. Couldn’t he have mustered up another reply? Anything. You tried to have work be enough, but you gave up an hour after receiving the message. Instead, you relieved your annoyance in the kitchen. When you were angry, you always had to chop things. You had no intention of cooking. You just wanted to chop.

Thanks to the near hour of your obsessing, you had Ziploc bags of diced onions, peppers, tomatoes, cucumbers, zucchinis, and carrots. You doubted you’d be able to go through it within the week, but that wasn’t the point. By the time one in the morning rolled around, you were still anxious and annoyed. You couldn’t believe this. You hadn’t had a reaction like this to someone in a long time—if ever.

That was when your phone rang. Grabbing it off of the nightstand, you saw Henry’s name illuminate the screen. Your nerves shot up like a rocket, and no matter how many deep breaths you took, they remained sky-high. After a few rings, you answered.

“Hello?”

A sigh echoed on the other end before Henry spoke. “I honestly didn’t think you were going to answer. I was hoping to leave a message.”

“Well, I answered. What message were you going to leave?”

The deepness of his voice sounded deeper from what you remembered, and it had goosebumps prickling your skin.

“One so you’d realize what you’re missing,” Henry replied. Your eyes bugged.

Did he really just say that? Your mouth gaped open as you wondered incredulously while sitting up in your bed to rest against the cushioned headboard.

“It’s dawned on me that you must think you’re not missing anything when it comes to me. So let me assure you you’re missing out on plenty.”

Pinching your lips, you tried to stifle your snicker. “Oh, really?”

“Really,” Henry confidently confirmed. The way he said it had your back straightening and any amusement quickly fading. The tone of his voice spoke to you, making your belly flutter.

“Like what?” It was barely above a whisper.

“You’re missing out on my kindness, my sensitivity. You’re missing out on flowers just because, surprise handwritten notes just to show I care. You’re missing out on romance women only dream about. You’re missing out on all the captivating intellectual conversations we could have about the stars, Rome, Greece, Egypt, and why we’re all descendants of black kings and queens. You’re missing out on someone being there for you unconditionally because they want to be because fate has led them to you. You’re missing out on lazy days of playing video games, eating pizza and drinking beer, missing out on a man who doesn’t care if you’re in sweatpants and messy hair, or all dolled up in makeup and heels. You’re missing out on me, my passion, my strength, my heart. You’re missing out on the chance never to cry again, missing out on the chance to feel more complete than you have ever felt in your life. You’re missing out on being able to stare in my eyes whenever you want, missing out on these hands to hold you, these lips to kiss you—missing out on us.”

If a gentle breeze somehow blew through your house right now, you’d be knocked off your bed. You were hanging on that little. You were so rattled you were speechless and actually physically shaking. The conviction and raw emotion in his voice was something that shook you to your core and left you raw, wanting, and on the verge of tears. The pounding of your heart was so loud that it was all you could here for a few moments. Trying to use your breathing to slow it you realized it was impossible.

“Are you—drunk?”

“I’ve had a lot to drink, yes, but I’ve never been more clear-headed in my life. You're not only missing out, but you’re also making me miss out on all of that as well. Goodbye, Aliya.”

Your phone beeped, signaling the end of the call. You sat there speechless, motionless, rattled to the bone, and completely wrecked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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sunflowerstache · 4 years

Text

Falling pt.2

What do you do when the person you pictured your entire life with, suddenly seems to have fallen out of love with you?

Word count: 3.2k A/N: Hi y'all! We’re back with part 2 AND I'm really happy and excited with this piece! I can’t wait to hear what you think and I just really hope you enjoy! It’s not as action packed, but it is nearly as emotional... and yes, there will be a part 3(:

The beige walls in front of you had always brought you a sense of comfort. It wasn’t because of the trees hiding the inside from any prying eyes, or the welcoming, bright blue door, or even the best chicken avocado blt wrap you’d ever had. It was the simple idea of spending time with the love of your life within the four walls. The four walls that held too many memories count; the release date of Harry’s first album, when you told him about the job at Gucci you’d accepted, Bella explaining what she learned at school, plans for future photoshoots, and talks of the future. It was the kind of place that gave you the chance to experience normality - or the closest you’d ever come to it again. Inside the Beachwood Cafe, you got to just be the Styles family, not the Styles family.

But were you even that same family anymore?

How could you consider yourself the same when things had gone so horribly south since the last time you’d stepped through the door? When you hadn’t seen Harry in five days and that idea alone didn’t make you feel sick. Not once since you first met him, were you okay with being so far from him for more than a day. You always felt your body had a magnetic pull towards him and the second you seperated, it knew something was wrong. But not this time. The second you walked out of your front door, you didn’t feel that pull, that need to go back in and be near him. It was like the invisible string pulling the two of you closer together had been cut the second you saw that magazine cover.

However, you didn’t just have yourself to think of. Long gone were the days that you could stay cuddled in bed all day and wallow in self pity, eating tubs of ice cream, and thinking about all the ways Harry had hurt you. Because the little hands on either side of your face every morning didn’t know what was going on. She didn’t know that the entire world was speculating if you and her father had split up, or that daddy wasn’t actually away for work. All she knew was that the two of you were having a girls vacation at Auntie Steph’s and she missed her dad.

“You can’t avoid him forever, babe.” It was late one night when Steph spoke up, the two of you watching your second film of the night, coated in blankets and a bowl of popcorn nestled between you.

“Steph -”

“You can’t and you know I’m right. You heard what Jeff -”

“Steph I don’t care. I can’t go and sit with him and pretend that he didn’t sit back and just accept that he slept with someone.”

Obviously you knew she was right, there was no way you could stay at her house forever and simply never see him again. Not only was it not logistical - considering your job and your shared daughter - but emotionally you weren’t strong enough for that. Before he was your other half, he was your best friend. He was someone who was always in your corner, ready to give you the pep talk you needed or make a stupid joke to make you laugh. After everything you’d been through, and as hurt as you were,, you knew that you couldn’t cut him out of your life completely.

“I’m not telling you to accept anything, Y/N. I’m telling you that you need to hear what he has to say, and you need to bring your daughter to see her father. What you do after that if up to you, and you know I’ll back you up whatever you decide to do.”

Cher Horowtiz had begun her debate on refugees while you listened to Steph talk some sense into you. Five days was the longest you’d spent apart since becoming a couple five years ago, and you knew in order to either move past this or move past him, you needed to see him.

“So what, I just ask him to meet up for lunch? Like we’re sixteen year olds going on a first date?”

“No, you ask him to meet up for lunch like you’re twenty five year olds who have a lot to discuss.”

Having only sent the message a few hours prior to when you wanted to meet with him,you were a bit surprised that Harry had immediately agreed to lunch. He was right in the middle of creating his second album and the hours of free time he had could almost be counted on one hand, so getting a response only seconds after initially asking was a bit of a shock to you.

Then again, you shouldn’t have been surprised; Harry was never one to put work over family. From day one, he made it extremely clear that he would drop everything if someone he cared about needed him. And you finally responding to him after so long, on top of saying his daughter needed him, was something you should have known would take precedence over whatever he had planned for the day.

“And I have to give him my drawing! You have it right mumma?” Bella’s sweet voice sounded over the bell above the door as you walked into the cafe. She had picked her own outfit to see Harry; a pair of dungarees and a white shirt, her hair tied up in two cute little space buns so that it wouldn’t get in her face all morning.

“Of course I do, love. He’s going to love it.”

There was no guessing as to where Harry would be waiting for the two of you, because it was the same table you’d been sitting at for years. Just to the left of the service counter, was a smaller, more private room filled with tables. It was separated by a large wooden entryway which opened up into the bright yellow room you’d grown to adore. And as soon as you shut the front door, there was no trouble finding him. His head was upright, clear he had snapped it up the moment he heard the bell ring, almost indicating that he had been there for some time and had done the same with everyone who entered before you, and he stared right at you.

“Daddy!” it was a soft shout, her being well aware of not drawing lots of attention to your family, and Bella quickly let go of your hand so she could run towards her father.

In an instant, Harry was at his sliding off of the bench and bending down so she could run right into his open arms. His stood in stark contrast to the yellow wall; a black bottom up and cream colored trousers adorned his body; a look that he had recently grown to love. It was a look that had the fans making comments that left the two of you in hysterics, but also leading them to recreate in their own fashion sense. And it was a look that he was happy and comfortable in, so you enjoyed it.

“Hello little love! I’ve missed you!” you heard him coo into the side of her head once you joined the pair. The room was oddly empty, leaving the three of you to have some sort of privacy while in the bustling business on a Monday afternoon.

“Missed you too, daddy! How was work?!”

The question caught the two of you off guard. Logically, you knew Harry had to have known you told Bella some sort of cover up as to why he wasn’t around, but the look in his eye informed you that he hadn’t even thought about it. His body had stiffened and eyes shot up to meet yours immediately, heartbreak seeping through his lashes.

“It was great, sweetheart.” he replied, pulling back so that he could pick her up. “But never as much fun as being with you.”

“Good. I don’t like when you leave, daddy.”

You swore, it was like the universe was out to make this lunch as painful for you as possible. There was no other reason for why today was the day your daughter decided to be the sappiest version of herself, or why Harry very clearly had tears in his eyes that weren’t noticeable by anyone but yourself.

“I don’t like it either. But doesn’t it make being together so much better?” his voice was thick, and if you had to hear one more second of it, you were going to explode into a puddle of your own tears.

“How about we get some food, huh?” you cleared you throat, earning a concerned look from Harry. “Weren’t you just complaining to me in the car that you feel like you haven’t eaten in six years?” trying to make jokes with Bella to avoid having to talk to Harry wasn’t something you were proud of, but you just needed a few more minutes before you could talk with him like everything was fine. At least until Bella wasn’t paying attention.

“Six years? My god, we need to get some food in that belly then, huh?” Harry feigned shock as you sat down, his arms moving Bella to let him bring her torso up to his face, his cheeks expanding with air so that he could blow onto her belly.

“Daddy!”

“You’re going to vanish with no food! My baby’s starving, we need a grilled cheese stat or she’s going to disappear!”

The two of them together was like watching the sunrise; beautiful and warm. The bond that they shared was stronger than anything you could have ever expected, and hearing them giggle with one another was infectious, a smile spreading to your lips before you could even realize what was happening. But you couldn’t help it. They had so much love shared between them that it made every other problem in the world seem so insignificant.

“How’s Steph?” this time, his attention was pointed at you. The green in his eyes seemed to be glowing in the rays of sun that shined through the window. But that’s where the brightness ended. Unlike the last time you saw him, he had bags under his eyes and his forehead was home to the red bumps you hadn’t seen litter his skin in years. Clearly, this was not what the two of you wanted or needed to talk about, but getting past the awkward initial conversations and making the day comfortable for Bella was the first and foremost.

“She’s good. She has a meeting with some people in Hollywood next week, so she’s pretty excited to start expanding again.”

“Wow, good for her. She stopped by Jeff’s the other day, was having dinner with Cam I think, but she looked good.”

“Oh I - I didn’t know they were - well I should have figured though when she came back with Il Fornaio leftovers.”

“I don’t think it’s anything serious, but they’re funny. Both of ‘em are the weirdest people I’ve ever met so…”

As always, Steph had given you advice that you didn’t instantly regret, and you made a mental note to thank her once you got back to her house. Whether it was because of your mutual need to make sure Bella was none the wiser to what was really happening behind closed or how much you had grown to pretend nothing was wrong, lunch went perfectly. For hours, the three of you sat in the yellow room and enjoyed time as a family. You laughed at the nonsense Bella was spitting, reminiscing on how the last time you were seated at that exact table, you were getting ready to head to New York for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, as well as listening to Harry talk about what kinds of cities he would like to go to on his next tour - whenever he finished his new album. But just as you learned in the recent days, some things that are so unbelievably good, inevitably have their downfall.

“‘M tired, mumma.” Bella had managed to leave Harry’s iron grip after everyone finished eating, and found her spot in your arms; her arms wrapped about your neck while she complained into the soft spot where your shoulders and neck met. Because of your unplanned lunch, she missed her nap for the day, so it was a ticking time bomb until it caught up with her and she either passed out in your arms or had a complete meltdown inside the quiet cafe.

“I know, B. Gonna go back so you can have a cuddle with Mr. Jeff, yeah?”

“Mhm. And daddy will come too, right?”

With her head tucked and hidden in your shoulder, neither you or Harry worried about containing your looks of worry at her comment. Harry because he didn’t know where the situation stood and you because you knew she’d wake up without her dad there.

“Daddy’s really busy, love, so he has to go back to work. But he’ll be back soon.”

Realization spread across Harry’s face at your words, understanding what the meaning behind them truly was, and his gaze fell to where his hands held an empty coffee mug. It seemed that the two of you would make it the entire lunch without bringing dirty laundry up, but now that Bella was fully asleep in your lap, there was nothing holding you back. It was time to have the conversation you so deeply wanted to avoid.

“Harry -”

“I didn’t sleep with her.”

Just as you did some nights ago, he spit out the one thing that was plaguing his mind, unable to hold back the information he was dying to tell you. But if he was going to replay the night that started all of this, you would do the same. So, just as had made no shocked movements at your accusation, you didn’t act shocked at his admittance. Because you weren’t.

“Jeff has videos of me spending the night with him and Glenne. Alone.”

In fact, you knew he was going to tell you exactly that. But hearing it come from his mouth gave you some sense of relief. Because as much as you appreciated hearing it earlier, nothing could compare to hearing it from Harry directly.

“I know.”

“Y/N I swear I can show yo- you know?”

You had to admit, seeing the look of shock cross his face was something you didn’t know you needed. His eyebrows furrowed which caused his eyes to squint, and he simply stared at you, waiting for an answer. But you didn’t immediately do so, instead, you rubbed your hand over Bella’s back in attempt to keep her asleep despite your wild heartbeat.

“Jeff sent them to me a few days ago.”

“A few - a few days ago?” This was one of the reasons you had thought about having this meeting in private; the tone of his voice started to go up at your confession, which you knew would happen. He was someone who couldn’t contain himself when his emotions got the best of him. “And you didn’t think to tell me? You just let me think everything was crumbling while you knew the truth?”

You didn’t have to tell him what you were thinking, because the second he said those words, you knew he knew. That was almost exactly what you had accused him of days ago. Asked him how he could let you think your relationship was one way, when in reality, it was something completely different.

“I didn’t not tell you to spite you, Harry. I didn’t do it to make you feel the same way I did, because we aren’t sixteen and this isn’t just some fling I don’t care about ending.” you worked so hard the entire day to not show the emotions you had bubbling around inside of you. But just as every other time you’d been around Harry, there was no hiding them. He brought out the vulnerable side of you, and the tears couldn’t be kept at bay. “I love you so much, Harry. I don’t think I’ve ever cared about someone the way I do about you. And these last few days… I’ve missed you more than I ever thought possible.”

“So why are we doing this, Y/N? Why are you going back to Steph’s and why are we not fixing this?” his thick voice was pleading, reaching across the table to grab ahold of your free hand. “I didn’t sleep with her.”

“But you thought that you did, Harry. You thought that you had slept with someone else, and lied to me about it.”

“I didn’t lie! I told you that I didn’t know if I did, and that was the truth!”

“I know, but you lied to me every day after that night. You walked around every day thinking that you did something so horrible and vile that I would leave you if I ever found out, so you kept it from me. That’s what hurts, Harry. Not the girl or what you thought you did. The fact that you would rather lie to me than work together and find a solution.”

His mouth hung open and you realized that he had nothing left to say, because he knew you were right. Every minute of your relationship had been built on trust and knowing that you each had the other’s best interests at heart, so what did you have when those values seemed to dissolve?

“Don’t leave me.”

Three simple words made your entire facade crumble. In all five years you’d known the man in front of you, never had you heard him sound so small and scared. And it hurt to know that it was directed at you, but just as you did five days ago, you needed to do what was best for you.

“I’m not. Harry I don’t think I could ever. But I just need some time. A few more days, a month, I don’t know. I just need to get out of the mindset this whole situation put me in, and when I do, we can do this again. But that time, we can leave together.”

It wasn’t ideal and it wasn’t ever how you thought your relationship would go, but it was reality. Sometimes the things you hold dearest in life are tested and the only way to see the light at the end of the tunnel is to go through it. But you had faith in Harry. You had faith that no matter what happened while you apart, that you would find your way back to each other. Because there was no way, after five years together and five as friends, that you would lose each other. He was the one part of fame that you’re glad no one warned you about. The ride the two of you had taken wasn’t something you wanted to be one step ahead of, as living in the moment with him was the happiest you had ever, and will ever be. He was the brightness your life needed.

But that bright, happy, yellow room would forever be tainted with the day you walked away from Harry.

#harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagines #harry styles one shots #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles fan fic #harry styles blurbs #1dff

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mytrashs-blog · 4 years

Text

Movie Star- part 2!

Pairing: BFF! Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: She’s a fluffy one... but also not straight away

Summary: You’re trying to save your friendship but the plan changes

Word Count: 3,071 words so buckle up

A/N: This is the last part I will be writing on this and that’s final, cause I had THE hardest time trying to write fluff... I’m an angst author, what can I say? I did love the final result of this, so I hope you enjoy! (Please if you do like it, reblog it so it can be read by more and more people).

Part one is here!!!, and here is my masterlist in case you want to read something else

(Gif isn’t mine, credits go to the owner!)

You’re sitting on the couch, two popcorn bowls sitting on the coffee table, because you like spicy sauce on yours and he finds soggy popcorn disgusting, there’s also two bottles one coke and one water, because you can’t stand fizzy drinks, but it’s his cheat day so he’ll take advantage. You’re both on the same couch, but you’re in your side, he’s in his, there’s two blankets and there’s no touching, not even accidentally, not even casually, none at all.

Frankly you’re even surprised you agreed to see him again after that one time you went out for coffee with him to come up with a peace treaty. It’s not that you don’t want things to go back to normal, it’s just that you don’t know what “normal” is for both of you anymore, you’re very sure there is no such thing after all the drama you went through a year ago. But you’re willing to try.

The movie has been going on for a while and you haven’t exchanged a word for the whole time, you intentionally decided to play a good movie so that you wouldn’t get the chance to start talking, so Pulp Fiction is playing, funny enough it’s your first time watching it and you’ve never been a big fan of Tarantino’s films, but you haven’t let Tom (your former best friend) see you yawning under your blanket. Thank Lord your thoughts drift away unitl the movie ends, but then you start getting anxious, you’ve been dreading this moment because you just know he’s gonna tell you something. And he does.

“What’s wrong? You didn’t say a word in like two hours and that’s not very you from you” he offers in an insecure manner, and that’s not very Tom from Tom.

“There’s… nothing wrong, Tom… I just don’t know what to say to you anymore. I don’t know who you are, we’ve been out of each other’s lives for a year. Last time we actually spent time together we destroyed our friendship. And then we attacked each other for the months that followed. We haven’t had a proper conversation in more than a year, A YEAR. And I’m not saying I don’t want us to be friends anymore, I just don’t know how to start.”

He stares at you for a few seconds, you can see he’s calculating his next dialogue, he really doesn’t want to fuck up the babies steps you’ve taken to fix things, and you don’t either so you wait for him.

“We…” he starts but soon stops again, thinking once more of an apropriate way to say things “We can’t really go back to the way things were before, because we were doing a lot of things wrong to begin with. I don’t want to have what we had before… I want to start fresh. You don’t know the new me and I don’t know the new you. So let’s get to know each other.”

That was the corniest speech you’ve ever heard. If you weren’t so moved by it, you’d be laughing at his face, but instead of doing that, you tried to follow along with the corny theme, so you reached your hand out for him to strech it and said “Hi, my name’s (Y/N), nice to meet you”.

He did chuckle at that but he took your hand regardless, offering one of those relaxed smiles you haven’t seen in over a year “I’m Tom, nice to meet you too”.

You kept hanging out a lot more often since that day, things were picking up a nice pace and you were getting more and more comfortable around him everyday. Sure, things changed, but they changed for the better. He made sure to take you to a lot of the fun things he did sometimes and you even invited him to the recital of the dance academy where you teach, which was a mistake because he had to smile and take pictures all afternoon with little girls and a bunch of moms… and the ocassional dad who actually cared about his role on spider-man and not only his beautiful biceps. Not that you were paying attention to the fact that he was getting buff again to reprise his role, no, he’s your friend, you don’t look at those things. You noticed because the moms noticed.

It was nice to fall back into your habit of late night phone calls to tell each other the latest gossip around your lives, you also missed sending him the most random, wackyest gifs at the most inconvenient of times and you missed him offering to drive you to places, maybe even go buy your groceries together.

Soon enough the press found out you were hanging out again and you were not safe from paparazzi for a solid amount of two weeks until it stopped being interesting, but of course half of the stories were written along the lines of “From bff to enemies to lovers? Is Tom Holland dating long time bestie (Y/N)?” and just like you did all those years ago when he was just becoming Hollywood’s newest hearthrobe you got together to laugh about what the tabloids were writing.

There was only one problem. You kinda were catching feelings.

It’s just that he had changed so much. He wasn’t mean aymore, to anyone and it’s not even that he went back to being the nice guy he was before the fame, he was even better, because he had matured so much and he knew just how much he meant to the people around him, so he made sure to let them know how grateful he was of having them around and it was so nice to see him become such a well rounded man. Regardless of all that, you know that it is a very stupid idea to come up like “Yo, I have a big fat crush on you” right now, because… you just got back to being friends! so you resolve to keep your mouth shut and your feelings at bay.

This one day Tom texted you asking if you wanna grab a bite, he’s at a table reading nearby so you accept and you get sushi because you’re basic like that, but he’s acting all weird today. He’s been staring at you for a little too long now and his gaze has been falling to your lips a few times now, which would be less weird if you weren’t currently stuffing your face with a salmon sushi roll.

You’ve been trying to get him to be less weird, asking about the script, his cast mates and all, but he’s just not cooperating and just keeps doing this thing that he does when he’s nervous where he justs sits there all stiff and plays with whatever he has in his hands, which right now it’s chopsticks and that makes it way too annoying, because it makes a lot of noise, so you decide enough is enough and just go straight against him. “Thomas “some middle name that you hate me calling you” Holland, what on earth is going on with you today?”

He abruptly stops with the chopsticks and you’re so grateful for a second, but then his attention shifts to his watch and it’s pressing your buttons pretty terribly, but then he decides he can actually talk. “Sorry uh… I’ve just been thinking… about… life?”

“What the hell do you mean? And don’t give me any bullshit answer cause you know I’ll know.”

You see him get visibly flustered, but he takes a deep breath to talk, “I’m just… I have been thinking…”

“Oh really? first time I take it” you laugh to lighten the mood that suddenly got terribly heavy.

“Oh, shut up… No, but really. It’s just that we’ve come such a long way, not only recently but overall in the course of the, what? 17 years? that we’ve known each other, you know? and I have been thinking that these past months our relationship has changed so much…”

Is he…?

“And I just think that we’re at a place where we could just try…”

Shit, he is.

“To go somewhere new, you know?”

Holy fuck… he most definetely is!

He falls silent and is looking at you waiting for your reaction, but you’re so shocked that you just haven’t even thought about what you’re going to say to him!

“When you say ‘somewhere new’ what does that mean?” you go for a question, just to get things clear as water before totally reacting.

“I just mean that.. I’ve realized just how much I like you, for real. No safety net here. I want to be with you and I can’t go for another 17 years pretending that I don’t”

For all you know you might just have choked on your sushi, but you haven’t so you decide to swallow whatever is still in your mouth and it’s hard, but mainly because air has just left your lungs. “I… don’t know, I mean… I can’t deny that I have felt that way, but I’m scared. Like what if it doesn’t work out? It’s been hard enough to go back to being friends after a ‘friend break up’ imagine if it was a real, real break up? Would we be able to recover?”

“I know. I’m aware that this is not a simple thing to do, I don’t expect you to just say yes and jump right into my arms. That’s just not your style. Do you want to maybe sleep on it?”

And you do. It’s the worst night of your life though. You’re restless all night, just can’t get your brain to shut up. How are you supposed to “sleep on it” if there is no sleep involved? You roll on you side for what feels like the millionth time and you see the time… it’s almost three in the morning and you haven’t been able to even blink. It’s just… You want to be with Tom so bad, you do! But you also know that you’ve never been good at relationships, they just never last, and then there’s the fact that you have extreme trust issues because almost every guy you’ve ever been with has cheated on you, and you don’t want be paranoid and crazy around Tom, but you just know at some point you won’t be able to hold it in. And for fucks sake! He’s an actor! He will have to kiss other girls for work and… you just don’t want to even think about it… but also, those girls are waaaay prettier than you are.

But on the good side, no one knows Tom like you do, he has never cheated on any girl ever, he’s a real gentleman, and you already have your fingerprint stored in his phone and you do know all his social media passwords which he doesn’t even know how to use so there’s no way he notices the thousands of girls sliding into his dm’s, you also have already met all his friends and family so you can skip all that awkward part of new relationships. How weird would it be to kiss Tom?

He does have very nice lips and he’s constantly using chapstick so they must be very soft, and you’ve seen him kissing actresses before and they’ve never complained about him being a bad kisser, and it’s not like you never thought about that. To be completely honest you’ve imagined how it would be to do way more than just kissing your best friend, which is normal… right? everyone fantazises about their best friend at least once in their life. Difference being that you spent about seven years doing so, if not more.

So if you’ve been in love with him for so long now, and you were able to forgive him for being an asshole and then he changed for the better after thinking he’d lose you then why not give it a shot? It can’t go wrong. You’ve already proved you’d rather die than not have each other in your lives, so even if it’s doesn’t work as a romantic thing you may still be able to save your friendship, right?

You were finally able to fall asleep at 4 a.m. and unsurprisingly, you did dream about you and Tom during your normal movie night, only you’re all curled up on each other, one of his hands is soothingly running through your hair and the other one is on your waist but slipping dangerously low, he ocassionally places a kiss on top of your head and you just feel extremely relaxed, it’s such a bliss of a dream, but then you wake up.

You want to text him the second you wake up, but you still want to keep thinking about it, just because you don’t want to say yes based on a really nice and domestic dream you had, so you make yourself a really nice breakfast and head to work which involves chill dancing around all day, and dance was always a nice way to analize things, at least to you. Also, not thinking is the perfect way of deciding wether you want something or not. By the time you’re done for the day, you’re ready to text Tom.

You ask him to meet you at yours as soon as he has some free time, and around an hour later, the doorbell rings and it’s him. God, you haven’t been this nervous over a guy since middle school, it is borderline ridiculous, but you gotta keep it together. It’s just Tom. Tommy, the guy that wears Hello Kitty pajamas and ties his hair in tiny pony tails when it starts getting too long, he’s the same guy that will regularly asks you how to spell “though” correctly. Just Tom.

You open the door and he looks just as nervous as you are, but you let him in and, as if he’s never been here before, he just stands there by the front door until you ask him to go to the living room. He plays with his hands and tries to clean off the sweat that he probably has all over his hands in his trousers, and you do the same. Just to be safe.

You’re sitting on oposite ends of the room, both of you visibly giddy and jumpy, but you’re so silent that a needle falling would be audible in the whole room. So you try to speak.

“H-how was your day, Tom? Everything okay?”

“Yeah… all normal, pretty chill. You?”

“Normal, just the regular.”

And you fell back into silence for a bit over a minute that felt like years. Unitl you decided you needed to speak again.

“So.. about the thing you told me yesterday…”

“Yes, tell me. Did you think about it?”

“Yeah, I did. You know, we’ve been through a lot together and you know that. I am extremely afraid of losing you forever and I need to tell you that being in good terms with you is my number one priority.”

Tom’s face stays serious as he listens to you, his hands are clasped together to avoid fidgeting, but he hasn’t noticed that his leg is rapidly bouncing up and down to compensate on that field.

“But even with all that I just keep thinking that it just makes sense, you know? You and me together.”

He looks up at you and his eyes are glowing with hope.

“I… have been in love with you for such a long time and I feel like the longer that time goes by, the harder it is to bear it. So I want to jump in full force. Who cares if it doesn’t work?”

He smiles bright now, he even tries to bite his lip to contain it from looking so absurdly stupid, but he doesn’t. He looks just as excited and ready to do this as you do.

“We’ve already been through the worst case scenario and we managed to salvage and make it even better, so I think that even if this doesn’t end up being a bad idea… we’ll be able to stay together anyway.”

And the room falls back into silence, but this one it not overwhelming, the atmosphere feels a lot more hopeful and excited. Tom is just looking at you with a smile on his face and you are looking straight back, feeling anxious about the uncertainty of what is supossed to happen now.

At that moment, Tom stands up and walks towards you, never breaking the eye contact. He extends his hand for you to take it and stand up, so now you’re facing each other, mere inches away, you’re so close you can see the little freckles that decorate the bridge of his nose, and looking in his eyes you can see that he has tiny speckles of darker brown around in his irises.

“I’m gonna kiss you now, is that okay?” he tells you, voice barely audible, you doubt anyone else would’ve been able to hear it, but that makes it so indulgently intimate, so insead of nodding, you decide to say yes in an equally low volume even though you’re the only two people in the house, you want this moment to be yours and for it to stay only in your own tiny bubble.

He smiles before slowly leaning in, time goes painfully slow, but you’re almost unbothered about that, you want to cherish the moment as much as you can. He stops when his lips are barely brushing yours, so you take that last step and lean to seal the remaining space between you two.

You had been holding hands until now that his hands want to move to your waist, but you need something to keep you leveled, cause everything is spining so you place yours on his forearms. Kissing Tom made you feel so stupid. Why did it take you so long to do this? This is clearly where you had to be all this time. His lips feel like coming back home after a long and miserable day, he feels like home. This moment feels like putting in the finishing piece in the puzzle and feeling like all that you went through was worth it, because it gave you this. and that is all that matters.

...

Tagging some people to avoid the flop: @caeruleum-in-caritate-lupus, @softstarkk, @peterparkerbabyy, @dottirose, @legit-fandom-trash, @carostar2020, @appreciating-chase-brody, @mvmakki @madmadmilk @hollandrecs @starksparker @sunshinehollandd, @thatswhaticallfanfiction, @rachaeldonnaspiteri1, @writing-appreciation, @allieandcoffee, @ladythena,

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wastelandcth · 4 years

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saturday sun - cth

saturday sun (calum hood x fem!oc) || masterlist || series masterlist

summary: calum and clementine are back from tour and going back to his old routine proves a little harder now that clementine is back at work.

warnings: mentions of sex. i think that’s it really. calum is missing clementine.

author’s notes: sorry this chapter took so long to post i’ve been busy with work and posting request but i hope you guys enjoy this! once again - based off of vance joy’s album nation of two!

previous chapter || next chapter

Calum had his routine down. He would hide away from the world for a couple of days, catch up on all the sleep he could get before he eventually had to return back to the studio to start writing a new album or go back into promoting the album they’d released a few months prior. He'd try to spend as much time with Duke as he could, knowing that the old dog wasn't going to be leaving his side anytime soon now that he had his dad back in the house. Calum would also try his best to catch up with all of the friends, most of the time it was Clementine. But things had changed and Clementine had slept next to him for the past two months, her warm body next to Calum's as they slept in a bunk or a hotel room, or even on an airplane.

Ever since coming back from tour, Calum had barely seen or heard from her. He’d been lost in his routine and she was back at work trying to catch up from the month-long break she had taken. They tried to talk at night when she was cooking dinner for herself in that apartment that had poor lighting, but most of the time Clementine was too tired to even pick up the phone and call him, settling for falling asleep on the couch as her bowl of pasta grew cold into the night. He missed her, after spending every day with her on tour, Calum had grown used to the feeling of her near. He missed when she would show him the funny pictures she found online that Calum had no idea where she’d managed to find. He missed the way she would always share a bite or two of her food with him so he could also try it and not be left out on what she called the “cultural experience of Europe” and he missed the convenience of having her next to his so he could simply hold her hand or press a kiss to her cheek.

It was late one night when Calum laid awake in bed wishing he could shut his mind off that his mind turned to her. He missed the way her body felt next to his, missed the little snores that would leave her as she was lost in a dream world. Calum had been tossing and turning for what felt like hours, the feeling of sleep never coming to him. He’d already sent her a text, asking if she had gone to bed already but much to his dismay, she hadn’t answered. Calum found himself getting out of bed, sliding the old beat-up Vans he’d been meaning to replace but was too lazy to go out into a store to do so, and grabbing his car keys. Before he knew it he was driving through the side streets of his neighborhood, soft music playing throughout the car as he tried to sort his thoughts out. He missed Clementine the last time he had seen her in person she had been the day they’d flown back into LA. He had missed being at home, but ever since he’d gotten back from tour, he missed being able to spend time with the guys and her. He missed having alone time with Clementine, a time where it was just the two of them with no interruptions.

Calum was pulled from his thoughts when his phone rang, her pictures popping up on the screen. Calum remembered the day he had taken that picture, it had been on one of their first official dates. He'd taken her to the Hollywood sign, his disbelief that she'd never been despite living in the city for over five years and had yet to see it up close driving him towards the sign itself on a sunny afternoon. Duke had decided halfway through the hike that he hiking wasn't for him that day and she was more than happy to empty her backpack out for the old dog and carry him the rest of the way up towards the sign. Calum still thought that Duke was just secretly looking for a way to get more of her attention, but he didn't blame him. And once they'd made their way to the end of the trail, Calum couldn't help but snap a picture of her and Duke, both of them smiling widely as she held the dog close while pointing up at the sign.

“Hello?” Calum’s voice was laced with sleep, something he hadn’t expected since the iced coffee he’d been sipping on had made his hands shake while he drove and his mind race with more thought that he would’ve hoped for. He pulled off the road, driving into some diner that Calum had passed by every time he went to the studio. It was empty from what he could see through the windows, just the waitress and cook who stood behind the counter sharing some coffee. Calum’s attention was pulled back to his phone as he heard her voice calling his name out. “Clem? What’re you doing up? It’s three in the morning, bub.”

“I woke up to grab some water, saw your text. Sorry, I got home and just fell asleep, I know we were meant to talk.” she sighed, her own voice clouded with sleep as she let a yawn escape her. “Is everything okay? Why are you awake at three in the morning?” her laugh made Calum feel warm, made him remember those late-night talks on the tour bus where Ashton would end up hitting him with a pillow to shut them up as they laughed over their hazy sleepiness.

“I couldn’t sleep, decided to go for a drive.” Calum chuckled as he leaned his head back against the headrest, “Grabbed a coffee and found myself driving through the night. Guess I’m still used to the tour bus moving around and stuff.”

“Do you want to come over? Can sleep here tonight, I know it’s a long drive from your place, but you’re already driving.” Clementine mumbled as she shuffled through her dark apartment, “I have the day off tomorrow finally. We can pick Duke up in the morning and do something fun together.”

“That sounds amazing, I’ll be there in a bit, yeah? See you soon, pretty girl.” he chuckled and hung up the phone when he heard her yawn again. Getting out from his car, Calum made his way into the diner, smiling politely at the waitress as he put in an order, a yawn escaping his lips once more.

The sound of the doorbell ringing out through her dark apartment had woken Clementine up with a start, she got up from the spot where she’d fallen asleep on the couch after Calum had hung up their phone call and made her way over to the door. Calum stood outside, his body kept warm thanks to the green Empathy hoodie he seemed to be wearing every day since he’d gotten it and some gray sweatpants that kept the cold breeze from hitting his skin. He was holding a brown paper bag in his hands, the smell of breakfast food making Clementine’s mouth water as she led him inside. It had been a week since they’d last seen each other when Calum had driven her back from her his house, the long drive back to her place filled with music and reminiscing over the memories they had made within the last month as they traveled around Europe.

“I brought some breakfast, that diner looked too good to pass up.” Calum chuckled as he set the bag down on the kitchen counter, finally pulling her into a hug. “How are you, bub, missed you.” he mumbled and pulled her closer, taking in the feeling of her in his arms again.

“I’m okay, I missed you too. Feels weird not being able to see you every day anymore.” Clementine giggled her face nuzzling into his chest. “This smells amazing, thank you. Come on, let’s eat.”

Calum was laying on top of Clementine’s chest, both of them full of breakfast foods as they listened to the soft music that was playing out through the speaker on Calum’s phone. The sun would be rising soon, both of them were too lost in one another to really care, sharing kisses in between talking about the week they’d both had. Soft kisses turned into needy ones and soon their moans were bouncing off the walls as they took each other in, bodies joining one another as they searched for their highs. As the morning sun rose, Calum found himself tangled in her bed sheets, his arm wrapped around her waist as he pulled her closer to his chest. Laying in bed with Clementine, he couldn’t help but want more of this, he wanted to wake up next to her and be able to be there for her when she got home from work every night.

Calum had never been someone who took relationships seriously, they always seemed to end in heartbreak for him. He had been wary of telling Clementine his feelings for her, knowing that she felt the same about love and relationships. But as he laid next to her, the sunlight pouring in from the blinds she never seemed to close were hitting her hair causing the brown curls to shine, Calum realized that he wanted this every morning. If he wanted more, he would have to be the one to take the next step, he would have to take the leap and put his heart out on the line no matter how scary that seemed to him.

“Clementine?” his voice whispered against her shoulder, his lips working his way up to her cheek. “Bub, need to ask you something important,” he said quietly, smiling as he felt her stir from sleep, her head lifting to look back at him.

“Will you move in with me?”

#calum hood imagine #5sos imagines #5sos blurbs #calum hood blurb #5sos one shot #calum hood one shot #calum hood #5sos #gemma writes #nation of two #nation of two ch

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theliterateape · 3 years

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Wonder Woman 1984 Couldn’t Save the Story

By David Himmel

I’ve been looking forward to the sequel to 2017’s Wonder Woman since the film ended with Wonder Woman herself leaping from the top of a building and soaring into the credits. So when it was announced that Wonder Woman 1984 was going to be available on HBO Max Christmas Day, I went to bed each night with visions of indestructible bracelets dancing in my head.

Then it finally arrived. Christmas. WW84.

My wife and I settled into the couch with a bucket of Cherry Coke, a cornucopia of candy, and two obnoxious bowls of fresh popped popcorn soaked in butter. It was the movie-going experience I had been missing this year.

I love Wonder Woman. I didn’t grow up on the source material. I grew up on Lynda Carter. Reruns of the campy Wonder Woman TV show, which originally ran from 1975–1979 were a favorite of mine as a little kid. Not only was it an entertaining show for a preschooler in the eighties with the jumping and bullet-blocking and running, but I was also in love with Lynda Carter both as Diana Prince and Wonder Woman.

You see—sounding all Freudian alarms—my mother is a brunette and, from what I could tell at that young age, she could do anything and everything, so I grew up likening my mom to the Amazonian goddess. I also thought any pretty lady with brown hair was my mom including the woman on the Sun-Maid raisins box. (Despite my mother being a beauty queen and model—just like Lynda Carter—the real Sun-Maid Girl died at age 90 two months before I turned four.) From my vantage point, my mom was completely capable of saving the day and harvesting yummy raisins. A true wonder woman.

I wasn’t a big reader of the Wonder Woman comics. Blame that on my time as a boy in 1984. Wonder Woman comics didn’t make their way to me and by the time I was old enough to choose my own reads, I was too deep into graphic novels about the Vietnam War, X-Men comics, and other Marvel titles. But I always knew Diana’s story and powers, and recognized her as one of the most powerful characters to grace the pages of comic books.

Settled into the couch, we hit play and HBO Max glowed to life to give me the Christmas gift I’d been waiting months for.

The opening scene set the tone. A thrilling action scene showcasing the abilities of Diana’s people back on Themyscira. It dropped a few hints of what challenges Diana/Wonder Woman might face and the lessons she will learn or be reminded of. Good opening. And then the film fell apart and Christmas was ruined.

Nah, Christmas was fine, but Wonder Woman 1984 was a disappointment. And not as much for me as for Diana and Wonder Woman. And for actor Gal Gadot. She was robbed of an interesting story. There is no character development in WW84 for our hero. Diana is in the exact same place as she was at the end of the first film. She picks up a few new abilities along the way, but one, like flying in an invisible jet felt like director/writer/producer Patty Jenkins was force feeding me a MacGuffin only to throw it away after I agreed to swallow it. Flight is a big thing in this film but Wonder Woman learning to master it seemed wasteful as I was convinced she was learning to fly based on the way the first film ended. That’s on me.

When we left Wonder Woman in the first film, she was heartbroken for Steve Trevor (Chris Pine). When we meet her again in 1984, some seventy years after his death, she still pines for him. (See what I did there?) By the end, she’s the same. Closed off, unwilling or unable to open herself up to people, most notably to people who could love her and she could love in return. This, despite that Steve tells her that’s a stupid thing to do—remain closed off. When he comes back to life through a wish, he is filled with a zest for life, a chance to experience something again. Pine plays Steve with an almost childlike wonder and it’s fun to watch.

They missed an incredible opportunity to build an interesting story tying in time, the struggle and pain of being ageless—timeless. Maybe that’s how Steve comes back. He exists in a tear in time. What is the hardship of a god living among men? Not her challenging duty but her struggle.

And why 1984? For the fashion jokes? The nukes? Missed opportunity there. Especially since the year is in the title.

Kristin Wiig is great. She’s surprising as she anchors her Ghostbusters (2016) character into Barbara Minerva/Cheetah. But I wanted more form her relationship with Diana. When Barbara wishes to be like Diana, “Sexy, cool… special,” there’s a chance for her to also face the backlash of being an ageless goddess. That opportunity was dampened when Barbara cartoonishly chooses to become a full baddy. But you can’t blame Barbara, she was written that way.

Everything was written as a MacGuffin. One little thing to get us to the big moment with the big baddy—a Donald Trump-ish huckster played by Pedro Pascal. Pascal as Max Lord at first is a slimey but sympathetic character. That quickly devolves into him being a super-duper bad guy bent on world domination that overcorrects in heightening the stakes. The manner in which he goes about dominating the world is trite but also is based on a lazy Orwellian approach to what technology would be like in 1984. It gives the sense that the film was written during Lynda Carter’s heyday where 1984 still seemed futuristic.

There’s so much opportunity squandered. Diana/Wonder Woman is an ageless goddess with a lonely heart and incredible powers. How does one live like that? In the first film, Diana is learning what it means to be human. This film could have had her learning what it means to be a god among humans. Instead, the character is a pawn. She’s not driven by anything. And that’s what gets me.

Diana could be relatable. Make her the troubled messiah. She lives among us so long, she longs or struggles to be like us. And maybe losing her power—the unknown risk she takes when Steve comes back—is attractive to her so she can live and love. And if they had to bring back Chris Cline, the could have dipped into the mystique and magic of Diana’s world. Something more than a silly wish. Something more interesting that pushes Diana to face new internal struggles while working to defeat the external forces of evil.

The film sets itself up as movie that’ll deal with time. There’s a date in the title. But why 1984? For the nukes? For the broadcast Max Lord needs to tap into? For the fanny pack jokes? Jenkins and Co. could have given the theme a little more oompf by leaning into their own ideas of time and address the hardships a an ageless, nearly all powerful goddess faces. Instead, we get a joke about modern public art being trash and a WWI watch coming to life because… because the ghost of the man who owned it has come back from the beyond. Two completely unrelated things. But they didn’t have to be.

The film takes its time with the wrong beats. There are many big moments, often in the middle of the action, where Wonder Woman’s face is the focus. The only takeaway from these slowed down moments of intensity are for the sake of empowerment. And, okay, fine. That’s cool. I get it. Wonder Woman is empowering. The movie, however, is not empowering. It’s a vehicle that reduces Wonder Woman to a physically strong woman who does not develop as an individual. She’s the most dimensional inspiring cinematic female character since the offensive Captain Marvel.

Time proves to be a major influencer in the film in the way it’s wasted. When they have to fly to Cairo, they do so by stealing a jet that Diana has access to thanks to her job at the museum, and allegedly will face no consequences for hoarking a fighter jet for personal reasons. Regardless… They have to get from Washington D.C. to Cairo, a trip of just over 5,000 nautical miles. A modern Boeing 747 can fly 8,255 nautical miles on a full tank of gas. A fighter jet with a smaller tank would likely need every last drop and the wind at their backs the entire time to make the tip without refueling or plummeting into the ocean. Instead of being concerned with that, Steve and Diana choose that time to have their romantic scene. Flips and tricks and dawdling through a Fourth of July fireworks show. And why was Steve surprised by the fireworks and it being July 4th? He just arrived in a new body the day before. He certainly checked the date on a newspaper or heard something on the radio or a TV. And the Fourth of July was already a holiday before he was killed in World War I.

These gripes would be nitpicking if they weren’t so easily remedied by giving the main character an actual story arc.

Wonder Woman 1984 was a fine superhero movie. Far from the best (Captain America: Civil War). Better than the worst (Justice League). It had its share of fun action moments, but even in an action film, the action must be secondary to the story.

After watching the film, we turned on the old TV show. There’s not much character development there either. But it’s a 1970s network television procedural. It’s meant to be campy. And it was more than enough.

Following the three-hour Lynda Carter bender, I realized that you could totally edit scenes in WW84 to make a trailer about a woman who takes care of, then falls in love with, a mentally handicapped man. And that would be a great story to tell. Wonder Woman with Hollywood blockbuster money behind her deserves something interesting.

#Wonder Woman #Wonder Woman 1984 #WW84 #Gal Gadot #Kristin Wiig #Pedro Pascal #Lynda Carter

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moodyvalentinestories · 5 years

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O Thomas Hunt, Wherefore Art Thou My Professor? | Chapter 24

Summary: Friday, featuring Hunt picking on Rachel during a lecture. Classic.

Notes: So... close. I can almost FEEL the masquerade... Also, apologies for skipping some time but there's been so much filler lately, I don't really think we need any more of that.

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The rest of the week went... well... pretty much as one would expect. On Tuesday, I had my first day of shooting Triangulaire, which went amazing.

Afterwards, I met with Chris Winters for coffee. Just a few weeks ago, I would have called it a big deal but it simply didn't feel like that anymore. Chris was a nice guy and it felt more like we were old friends rather than him being a celebrity and me being a fan. I had a great time with him and it seemed we were both on the same page about our friendship, after all.

In general, my time on set went much better than my time in school. Specifically, my time in Hunt's class. We butted heads more than once during the week, but at least there wasn't anything major. Mostly, it was just him telling Addison and me to be quiet in his class. Granted, I kind of avoided him as much as I could -- mostly to keep Addi happy and off my case. I knew that would change on Friday, though.

It was, in fact, a bit of a struggle trying to balance Triangulaire, classes, and my assignments -- once again, especially the one Hunt gave us -- but I managed. With lots of caffeine and very little sleep.

Come Friday, I was kind of relieved. No filming for Holly's movie was scheduled for the day, my schoolwork for the week was mostly done, and I would be going to a masquerade in the evening. Though I hadn't mentioned the latter to anyone and I wasn't planning on doing so.

Early in the morning, I met up with Addi at the coffee shop -- like we'd done all week.

"Don't worry, I think we did a great job," she said and plugged a flash drive into her laptop to show me the finished product. Hunt had us turn the first chapter of a novel of our choice into a film that, just as Addison had said, turned out far better than expected.

I let out a sigh of relief. "One less thing to worry about."

"Not for long," she laughed. "I'm sure Hunt already has something great planned for next week. Probably expects us to produce a full musical."

I laughed along. She was right, the things he asked of us were always nearly impossible. At least he hadn't given us any special treatment this week. I would most certainly not have had the time, nor the patience, to deal with that.

After we'd finished watching, we headed to class, where Addison handed the flash drive in to Hunt. I asked her to, but she probably would have done it, anyway. She was still wary of me being anywhere near Hunt. For good reason, too.

Shortly after Addi had returned to her seat, Hunt started his lecture... about no lesser topic than romantic comedies. Oh, this was bound to be fun.

"Today we’re discussing the decline of the romantic comedy, a genre that relies all too often on an unbelievable formula. How often have you seen the two lead characters spend most of a movie fighting with each other… only to end up together in the end because of some ill-established passion?"

I heard Addison chuckle next to me. "Don't we just love this topic, Rachel?"

"Shut up," I said. A little too loudly, unfortunately. It earned me a warning glare from Hunt, but nothing more.

"Real love is nothing like that. Once a genre full of heart, the majority of romantic comedies have descended into farce bereft of true emotion. But it still works, doesn't it? Every time a new romantic comedy is released, millions flock to theatres to watch. Why do you think that is?"

He looked around the room, but no one was willing to answer. No, we all knew that whatever answer we gave, he would mock us for it. But he wouldn't simply answer his own question. So I braced myself for the inevitable. And, predictable as he was, he called on me.

"Miss Fields, what do you think?"

"I think it's because they're fun to watch," I simply replied, hoping this would be over soon.

"Fun to watch?" he asked. "Does that not go for every genre? Why do people like action movies? Well, it's fun to watch. Why do they like fantasy, science fiction, horror? It's fun to watch. Be more specific."

I sighed. "I don't know. Maybe they lack romance in real life? Maybe their love life is depressing as hell so they just want to watch a love story that'll likely end with the couple being together for once? I don't bloody know."

"So, in your opinion, the big studios exploit people's need for romance. Would you ever consider starring in such a production, Miss Fields?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked, now getting annoyed. Couldn't he just move onto the next student? Obviously not. "I don't know what you want to hear. Do you want me to say that I'd prefer if my projects had meaning and weren't made by soulless corporations? Sure. Aren't we kind of all here because we consider ourselves artists? But if I say that, you'll tell me I'm delusional. Yet, if I say yes, you'll call me a sell-out. There's no winning here so why even bother."

"Why even bother?" he repeated, finally turning away and starting to pace the stage again. "Here's a lesson for all of you: compromise. It's what we all have to do here. You all want to make a living, doing what you love. So you won't always be able to only do things you're fully passionate about. I've been lucky enough to be in a position where I can choose what I do and do not want to do. Some of you may get there, eventually. Some of you won't. There is nothing inherently wrong with starring in big blockbusters. Except, of course, you'll be selling your soul..."

Hunt went on about how not every movie produced by large studios was bad and how not every indie film that was made with passion is good. He went on about finding the right balance, and occasionally compromising -- but not too much. As per usual, it was an interesting lecture. That ended with our next assignment.

"On Monday, you will be divided into two groups: screenwriters and actors. As per usual, what you will be doing will be determined by coincidence," he said, pointing to the dreaded golden bowl. "Screenwriters will be fixing scripts of what I consider to be mindless romantic comedies, and actors will be acting out the revised scripts. And here's a tip for the weekend for all of you: maybe learn a thing or two about emotions. Specifically, how to convey them."

Oh, I would be learning a lot about emotions. Probably more about repressing them than showing, but that had to count for something, right? Besides, I was already doing a film with a focus on romantic emotion. Quite an artistic, definitely-not-mindless-Hollywood-style movie, too. I had this in the bag. Just as long as I didn't have to be a writer. Not to be too hard on myself but my writing abilities were subpar, to say the least.

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Tags: @silversparrow02

#professor hunt #hollywood u #hollywood u: rising stars #Thomas Hunt #wherefore art thou my professor #rachel #hwu #hwu hunt

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orphancookie69 · 2 years

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6/2022: Flirty Thirty Ashlie

Did you know I am a poet and did not know it? I jest. But there is some serious business to discuss. As of this June in the year of our universe, this 2022, I will be turning the big 3...0...and man it sucks. Me and my friend, born in the same year but her in May and me in June talked about doing something together for it. But what to do? There’s also the “obstacles” that life likes to throw at you. Like what if I am pregnant? Can’t party much that way. Or does one just skip the year altogether?

My best friends 30th is actually just before mine, and it was a heck of a thing trying to plan either one. Like do you go big because its 30? Because its a “dirty 30″ do you go small and just have fun, forget about the negative stigma? I know for hers, we decided on getting her “grocs” or goth crocs and taking her to a wild west eatery, it should make for a good time and even better photos. But then the bigger question was...what to do about me? We went through so many ideas:

Winchester

pirates

mystery box and zoo recreation

custom party experience

photo shoot day

create your own funko pop/LA experience

Hollywood

solvang (little Denmark

photo book challenge

spa day

round 1, bowling party, mini golf

We ended up on the last idea and it morphed into the game plan for mine: Camelot Mini Golf and Bbq for dinner! I first of all am stoked, I drive by Camelot all the time and finally get to go to it? Also, its different but doable and ok for pregnant me! So the day of should be fun! I imagine I will have various family meals as that has always been how its been, can’t get them all in the same room.

Is 30 middle aged? Am I going to miss my 20′s? I already kind of feel old, but I have always felt like an old soul. But would I consider myself to be “middle aged”? But if I could live up to 100, wouldn’t “middle age” be 50? Is youth a mindset? I did some crazy stuff in my 20′s. I don’t regret doing it, and take it from, go crazy while you are young. If you don’t, you don’t have anything to reflect upon when you “mellow” out in your older years.

#rant #gemini #birthday #30thbirthday #middleagedwoman #youthisamindset #inquiring minds want to know #ageisjustanumber

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elanorjane · 6 years

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California Soulmates: Epilogue

Summary: Pop princess Belle wants to write her own music and get out from under her father’s thumb. Single father Gold wants to put his failed music career behind him and get the hell out of L.A. When inspiration strikes, there’s only one problem…the songs they’re writing aren’t their own. They’re each other’s.

*“Telepathic soulmates” RCIJ for @beastlycheese

A/N: THANK YOU @beastlycheese for gifting me with this idea and letting me run with it...and run with it...and run with it some more. It was such a delicious idea I refused to let it go. <3

AO3 link

He missed the smell of cigarette smoke in bars. He’d mostly quit when Bae was young, but in the intervening years, he’d been known to sneak one up on the roof and bury the butt in the planter afterward. He enjoyed the nicotine contact high of being around smokers because it made him feel like it was still 1985 and his career was still in front of him, if only for the length of a song. But gone was the haze over the audience. Now, he saw each and every face crystal clear. He appreciated the vape smoke for aesthetics, but it wasn’t the same. Lately, he was more likely to get a whiff of pot from the tables below, which equally transported him back to his twenties. But honestly, he didn’t need the crutch anymore.

He’d been to enough open mic nights to know that many people squinted in the spotlight when they climbed on stage. Some, unfamiliar with the creaks and groans of an old wooden platform still sticky with decades of spilled beer, even threw up an arm to shield their eyes from the glare but he didn’t. Ancient stage or a slab of concrete in a dark corner, it felt comfortable to him, like home. Tonight, he could feel the heat from the overhead light on his face. He didn’t even need to look to see whether he sat in the center of the rickety stage raised one foot off the ground. He could just feel it.

But Belle winced as the stool she pulled forward scraped against the grain and wobbled a little climbing up. She’d performed in front of more people than he could comprehend, yet in this intimate club, he watched her eyes narrow when the light hit her face. She swiveled self-consciously so she faced him more than the expectant faces two feet away. He knew she was going to be uncomfortable tonight, that this was going to be a stretch for her, but he knew she’d be brilliant. She wiped her palms on her old torn jeans. He knew she chose to wear them here as a sort of armor.

He couldn’t guarantee her fame, he couldn’t give her money, he couldn’t promise her that their life together was always going to be easy, but he could give her nights like this. A safe space to build confidence in her abilities and a venue to workshop her feelings through song.

Sometimes they showed up at an open mic night and wrote together, telepathically, on the spot for fun. It was a rush, being in front of a crowd and not knowing if the next verse was going to appear, but it always did. They throwing out the beginning of an idea, because the other person was always there to finish it.

He’d brought her to this particular venue tonight because it was known for its discerning crowd. If you weren’t good, they’d let you know it with their indifference. It was also close to their old apartment.

Following her Hollywood Bowl performance, Belle had moved in with him and Bae. But it wasn’t long until they’d moved out of the neighborhood, leaving their cramped, bohemian rooftop living behind. They’d bought a modest house just outside the city but still close enough to music venues and nightlife.

Bae was going to a better school now. He fought the transfer at first, but he could still see his friends on the weekends. Unlike his old school, his new school hadn’t defunded the music program. Since he didn’t want to be in the school chorus, he’d landed in band. They’d given him his choice of instruments, they were even progressive enough to include electric guitar. But he refused to play the same instrument as his father. After trying out all they had to offer Bae discovered his new love - the trumpet. On any given night an obnoxious blaring reverberated through the house. Since Bae spent his entire life keeping it down for the neighbors, Gold couldn’t bring himself to tell him to knock it off, and being anything but wholly supportive was outside Belle’s capabilities. Gold found himself playing a lot of Miles Davis and Wynton Marsalis records around the house, trying to convey to Bae that he needn’t be blowing full-force, as loud as he possibly could, the entire time.

“Most of you know me,” Gold told the small but interested crowd. When he and Bae had lived here, this was the dive bar he played at regularly. It paid nothing, but let him practice. The owner even let a young Bae sit at the bar and drink ginger ale while he performed.

“This is my friend,” he cocked his head at Belle, “ah,” he picked a name at random, “Lacey.”

Many people in the room laughed, knowing exactly who Belle was. But he and Belle learned in the last few months that it wasn’t always prudent to give her real name everywhere they went. The headline of America’s pop princess shaking up with a single father twenty years her senior had captivated the celebrity gossip magazines. Bae thought it was cool when a mob of fans and paparazzi descend upon them, but Belle and Gold were less thrilled with the ensuing hoopla. Since “Belle French” set off alarm bells everywhere they went, they’d come up with a host of pseudonyms. Gold secretly hoped to give her his own last name soon, if she’d have it, so perhaps she could stop giving false ones.

Belle, now settled in her seat next to him, smiled at his attempted ruse.

“We’re going to start with a song we wrote together,” he continued. “You might know it.” He leaned back to play the opening notes then sang.

I know he hurt you Made you scared of love, too scared to love

It was Belle’s song from the Hollywood Bowl that he’d helped her finish. Fans had recorded it on their phones and put it up on YouTube and it got a positive response. He and Belle had tweaked it slightly since. He’d added a more complicated guitar lick at the beginning and Belle suggested they pick up tempo to add more mass appeal. He also took on lead vocals. They’d shopped that version around town and it was one of the first songs they’d sold as a writing team. People more famous than him sang it on the radio now. While he was proud of the money they earned every time he heard another man sing it on the radio or in a commercial, Gold preferred this stripped down version that made it more of a love song. Belle appreciated the more pop version because she said it sounded more celebratory, that they’d struggle but they’d made through to the other side and were together now.

He didn't deserve you 'Cause you're precious heart is a precious heart

Together over the past several months, he and Belle had built a credible reputation as in-demand songwriters-for-hire, penning a few tracks for various pop stars and even a big crossover hit. He didn't know what he had and I thank God, oh, oh, oh

Since Belle was still was technically under contract on Moe French’s label, until they could figure out how to disentangle her from that, she couldn’t record any of the music they wrote or release it.

And it's gonna take just a little time But you're gonna see that I was born to love you

But Belle wasn’t living off her father’s money any longer, or any money she made as “Belle”. Gold had tried to dissuade her, trying to convince her how hard it was to make a living playing music on your own. He wasn’t going to be able to provide for her at the level her father had been, but she wouldn’t be deterred. She had that much faith in their songwriting ability to sell to other major artists. After Moe took a large chunk off the top, the small percentage she did get in sales, radio, and licensing royalties went towards legal fees to unsnarl her professional relationship with her father. The rest she put into a college fund for Bae.

Belle closed her eyes, comfortable in the room now that she could lose herself in the song, and sang the chorus

What if I fall

Also new was a call and response they’d built into the chorus. Gold leaned into the mic and answered her.

I won't let you fall

Her voice was clear, angelic yet full of meaning. If you’d listen to a “Belle” record and her singing now, you’d never even guess they were the same person. She was beginning to find her own voice, outside of the one that Moe and the record label conceived for her.

What if I cry

Since she was still obligated to fulfill her contract, Belle was technically on her international tour right now, but she’d flown in from Houston for a couple days in between shows. She’d be leaving for Europe in a few months. She flexed her newfound muscles when she could, making her own choices where she was legally allowed. But the plan was to ride out this international tour, get her off Moe’s label, and move on with their lives. She was currently only talking to her father through intermediaries. I'll never make you cry

After her initial anger wore off, Gold could tell that it was hurting Belle to completely lose contact with the only parent she had left. Seeing her struggling forced Gold to finally let go of his old resentments against Moe. But Belle insisted that she needed to destroy her relationship with her father if she had any hope of rebuilding it.

And if I get scared

Also making the rounds on YouTube was a video his own son had taken.

I'll hold you tighter When they're tryna get to you baby I'll be the fighter

After Bae convinced him to not give up on Belle, they rushed off to the Hollywood Bowl. Surpassing even their Staples Center escape, they’d climbed the canyons in order to come down the other side and sneak into the venue. The whole time they could hear the concert in progress. By the time they slipped through the barriers, it was late and Gold feared they’d miss the show completely.

Because it was so late in the show, security was unnervingly lax and it was easy to slide their way through the crowd and to the stage wings unnoticed. He’d spent the past several days constructing a barrier in his mind to block out Belle’s voice, but it only took moments to disintegrate when he saw her at the edge of the stage, standing there in her ripped jeans. She looked vulnerable and beautiful and strong all at once. He didn’t need to read her mind, she was talking to the crowd, telling them about the song we was about to sing. A song he knew she’d written for him. She was putting herself out there, at her own show in front of thousands of people, in the hope that he’d reach out to her. She was doing so much and asking so little of him. He wouldn’t let her down. He wouldn’t abandon her, on stage or ever.

He bolted out of the wings and onto the stage, but was blocked by the unwelcome shadow of Moe French.

“You,” Moe growled, his cool demeanor from their previous run-in abandoned. “How many times am I going to have to destroy you?”

Gold’s ire immediately rose. But he couldn’t get caught up in the poisonous cycle, not again. Belle needed him. He could feel her impending panic as she reached the end of her song, with no answering lyrics from him.

“Once more, apparently,” and shoved past Moe and out onto the stage.

Gold hadn’t know it was happening. He was out on stage with Belle. But, fortuitously, Bae captured the entire exchange, and the tantrum immediately afterward, on camera. He said later that he pulled out his phone and started filming for evidence in case Moe physically assaulted him. But that didn’t explain why he immediately uploaded it to YouTube and titled it “Moe French Has Meltdown at Belle Concert.” The footage of Moe standing at the edge of the stage, spitting bile about his only daughter and verbally abusing the staff that were unfortunate enough to be standing in the vicinity, was difficult to watch. But not as difficult as sitting beside Belle, holding her hand, as she viewed it for the first time.

Back at the dive bar, the closing notes of their Hollywood Bowl song faded out. A silent pause, and then thunderous applause erupted from the audience.

He’d seen her showered with praise after two-plus hour concerts. But this was the happiest, the most proud, he’d ever seen Belle.

Riding that high, he unlooped the guitar strap from around his neck and thrust the instrument towards her. He accompanied her on all their songs. But he was teaching her to play, little by little, and this next song was for her and her alone.

“Ready?” he murmured.

She hesitated, swallowing audibly, before reaching out and wrapping her hand around the neck.

They wrote all their songs together, save this one. He hadn’t helped her with the lyrics, even when she asked. He gave her an assist with the instrumental, but he’d strictly limited his role. He knew the process of writing a song alone, of struggling with it over a period of time, of really having to dig, could be redemptive. You unearthed feelings long forgotten, pain you didn’t know you still held on to, pleasure you believed you’d never experience again. Either way you exorcized it through writing something honest, something true.

It was because the lyrics were so delicate, so plain, so raw, and not hidden behind heavy symbolism or clever turns of phrase that made her lyrics about losing her mother and, in a different way, her father, so powerful.

I'm learning how to live Without you in my life I'm learning how to live Without you in my life I'll take the best of what You had to give I'll make the most of what You left me with I'm learning how to live

Gold sat back and watched her play and sing. For years she’d mesmerized crowds with her youth, her body, her energy. He looked down at the crowd and marked how spellbound they were by her by her voice, her words, her feelings.

In its own way, what they were building together would eclipse his meteoric rise and fall or her pop stardom, and even Moe French’s empire. Because this career was built on love.

NOTES: Song: The Fighter Songwriters: Keith Urban / Michael James Ryan Busbee Song: Learning How to Live Songwriter: Lucinda Williams

#fic: California Soulmates #rumbelle fanfic #rumbelle fanfiction

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novantinuum · 6 years

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Movie Night (one-shot)

AO3

Rating: K

Words: 1200~

In which Stan and Soos bond over movies, and Stan has a rare moment of emotional vulnerability.

He’d taken pity on the kid that day, inviting him to stay at the Shack after hours to “watch a movie, or whatever.” When his morose expression finally lifted and glimmered as bright as one of his Fourth of July firecrackers, Stan knew he’d made the right decision. He knew how rough this day was for the kid. Might as well offer him a little something to help make it better. Of course, to be fair Soos wasn’t actually a kid anymore since it was his eighteenth birthday, but no matter. Once Stan passed fifty, suddenly everyone was a kid in his mind.

“What we gonna watch, Mr. Pines?” Soos asked with wide, eager eyes, munching away on a thick slice of meat lover’s pizza.

Stan finished off his third, and promptly licked the grease off his fingers. “It’s your birthday, kid,” he said. “Pick whatever you want.”

Soos set down his plate and crawled across the plush carpet to the video cabinet. Opening the wobbly doors revealed two shelves full of VHS tapes, ranging from old 60s westerns, to black and white period pieces, to a good selection of the 80s greatest hits. He didn’t own anything recent. Rather, the odd mishmash of entertainment was just as antiquated as Stan himself. He watched with intrigue as the kid began shuffling through his selection.

“Let’s see, you have Return From the Past… Grandpa the Kid: The Long Nap… Exterminators…” He piled VHS tapes on the carpet, digging through to the back of the video cabinet. Seeing something he must have recognized, he flashed a toothy grin. “Oooh, you have the entire original trilogy of Galaxy Wars!” he exclaimed, holding the tapes up. “Those are like, my favorite movies in the whole world!“

Cold, bitter recognition caused Stan’s heart to sink about as far as his butt did in the cushion of this chair.

“Heh, those nerd movies?” Stan jokingly scoffed, scratching at the nape of his neck. “That really what ya’ wanna watch?”

“Sure, if you’re okay with it.”

He made a dramatic show of deciding their evening’s fate, pursing his lips and stroking his chin like a second rate Bond villain. “Hmmm. Well, I did say whatever you want… Sure, sure, pop ‘em in. Hell- heck, might as well make a full night of it, watch all three.”

“Really??” Soos beamed. He nearly stumbled over his feet running to the couch, and suddenly Stan found himself smothered in the sturdy, earnest embrace of this young man. “Thank you, thank you, Mr. Pines!”

He popped in the first movie of the original trilogy and settled in at the foot of the couch, the two sharing a six pack of Pitt Cola and a bowl of popcorn between them. Every few minutes, Soos would rattle off a “fun fact” about one of the actors in the movie, or how they filmed a certain scene, or how they recorded the lightsaber noise. Stan nodded as he listened, genuinely impressed with the sheer breadth of knowledge he had about all this. It reminded him a lot of- well. No matter. No sense in letting his mind wander in distant memory tonight.

“Hey, you know what’s funny?” Soos asked after they finished the second one. “Your copy of Return of the Jedi totally doesn’t match the others, dude.”

He cracked open another can of soda. “Oh, that?” he muttered. “Well, I bought it some years after the others, so of course it wouldn’t.”

He didn’t even buy the first two. That was- well, it was his brother. Ford. He was the nerdy one who was into all this sci-fi space battle stuff. Stan found them shoved in a closet a year or so after That Winter. They were some of the only movies Ford owned. Curiosity pulling at his heart, he watched the two- Galaxy Wars: A New Hope and Galaxy Wars: The Empire Strikes Back- while nursing a beer one night. (All right, so maybe it more than one beer.) The point is, they were some of Ford’s few personal belongings beyond mere academic awards or boring textbooks or clothing, so they must have meant something truly special to him, right? When he finished the second movie and realized there was a third one- one that Ford had never gotten to see, because of you, because you pushed him too far- he drove himself to the video store and snatched up the first copy he could get his hands on. He wanted his brother to have it, if when he finally came back. He watched it alone that night, imagining how Ford might react to the plot twists. How Ford would gleefully pick apart the bad Hollywood science. He totally didn’t cry at the end when the galaxy was saved. Or when Yoda died. Or when he realized Luke and Leia were twins. Nope, he definitely didn’t shed a single tear over this silly movie franchise, not at all.

He hadn’t watched through these movies since. They brought up too many melancholy memories for his own comfort, he supposed. Too many ghosts of the past. And now, watching it with Soos, the kid’s childlike excitement constantly reminded him of Ford…

The way his eyes would light up at any new discovery.

The depth at which he cared for the characters in the fictional shows he watched in his youth.

Soos let out a yawn towards the beginning of the third movie, and curled up closer against the foot of the couch. His commentary was few and far between this time. It was late, about half past eleven. Stan could tell the kid was nearly tuckered out. Still, when the scene came when Luke realized he and Leia were twins, brother and sister, for some unknown reason he felt compelled to say something.

“Y’know,” he said quietly, “I’ve never told ya’, or anyone else here, but I’ve got a twin. A brother. Ford… He’s just as nerdy as you, actually.”

Stan let out a soft chuckle, his words fading into silence as he realized what he’d just admitted. What he’d never told a single living soul in this entire town, what he’d never entrusted to anyone.

“I… I miss him a lot, kid. A whole damn lot.” He tugged at the collar of his undershirt, suddenly feeling indescribably uncomfortable at sharing such personal detail, and yet all the same… Once he’d started rambling, he found that he couldn’t stop, like deep down he needed this release. “Heh, I suppose that’s why I get ya’ so much. Why your birthday’s such a hard time. ‘Coz… anymore, my own’s not that great either, y’know?”

The sudden silence prickled at his nerves. He glanced down at the kid, aching for any sort of vocal or non-vocal response, heart thrumming in the silence he left his admission to die in, and…

Soos’ mouth was wide open, breathing gently in and out.

The kid had already fallen asleep.

He almost barked in laughter. It was just his luck, wasn’t it? The one moment he tried opening up to another human person for once, and no one was awake to hear it. Perhaps this was the world’s way of telling him that no one else needed to know. It was his burden to bear, his past. He’d hate to force the kid to carry that knowledge with him too, and on his birthday no less.

Carefully, Stan pulled himself to his feet with a grunt. He nabbed a spare blanket from his own bed, and then returned to the TV room. With a watery smile, he tucked the blanket around Soos’ sleeping form.

“G’night, squirt. Happy birthday.”

#gravity falls #stanley pines #soos ramirez #stan and soos #gravity falls fanfiction #my writing stuff

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sleemo · 7 years

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Jedi master Mark Hamill geeks out with Bill Hader

— Interview Magazine Nov 9, 2017

From the time of the ancient Greeks, humanity has been fascinated by the struggle between good and evil, often led by an archetypal chosen one who blazes a path of glory by separating himself from the pack. As a young actor toiling between auditions, Mark Hamill’s moment of destiny came when he took a break from TV fare such as General Hospital to read for a role in a little sci-fi film helmed by a young director fresh off an Oscar-nominated hit called American Graffiti (1973). When Hamill was cast in the original 1977 Star Wars as Luke Skywalker, an orphaned farm boy growing up on a desert planet, no one—chief among them Hamill himself—knew that the film would become one of the most influential and profitable franchises ever made.

When the announcement came a few years back that Hamill would reprise his role as the Jedi Knight in J.J. Abrams’s Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015), along with his original co-stars Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher, fans went wild. But while Hamill’s screen time was relegated to a small appearance at the end of that film (Skywalker, in ascetic seclusion on a remote planet, is discovered by a young woman who exhibits strong signs of the Force), the second installment of the new trilogy, next month’s The Last Jedi, is squarely focused on Skywalker’s journey.

On a late September afternoon, the comedian, actor, and Saturday Night Live alum Bill Hader (who was a vocal consultant for the droid BB-8 in The Force Awakens) called up Hamill from the Sony lot in Los Angeles to geek out about that iconic galaxy far, far away.

MARK HAMILL: Hi, Bill!

BILL HADER: Hey, man!

HAMILL: I’m a big fan of yours. My kids tell me that you came to my house before you were on SNL.

HADER: Yes! I was a PA on Empire of Dreams, the documentary about the Star Wars movies, and I came over to pick up some pictures of you. I sat in your living room, and I believe it was your wife who brought down the pictures, and I was like, “Oh my god, Mark Hamill’s so rad.”

HAMILL: Was I not there?

HADER: You weren’t. I didn’t want to touch anything, and the whole time I kept apologizing for my existence.

HAMILL: Were any of my kids there? Nathan or Griffin or Chelsea?

HADER: No, but when I first moved to L.A. in 1999, Nathan and I ran in the same circle for a bit. I had a friend who had a massive crush on him. I remember once we had to go to this bowling thing because Nathan was going to be there. [sirens wail in the background] Sorry, I’m robbing a bank right now. Hold on.

HAMILL: [laughs] I saw your tauntaun and Jabba the Hutt impersonations on YouTube. It’s a talent of yours I had never seen. I like that you keep alive the legacy of some of the actors that I love, like Vincent Price. I’ll be talking to people your age and younger, and I’ll mention Lee Marvin [Hamill’s co-star in The Big Red One, 1980] and a lot of them will go, “Who’s Lee Marvin?”

HADER: Oh, my god.

HAMILL: It just goes to show how fleeting fame is.

HADER: I remember I was at Comic-Con once, and I looked over and there was this long line for, I don’t know, the stars of some lesbian vampire series from Mexico, and then all by himself was [stop-motion animation and special effects master] Ray Harryhausen.

HAMILL: Did you go talk to him?

HADER: Yeah! I was like, “Oh my god, you’re Ray Harryhausen.”

HAMILL: He’s always been an icon for me. I was so into that stuff as a kid. I mean, The 7th Voyage of Sin-bad [1958] and Jason and the Argonauts [1963] and First Men in the Moon [1964] and on and on and on. I lived for that stuff. I got to interview him once on the floor at Comic-Con for Comic Book: The Movie—he was the quintessential gentleman of another era.

HADER: Were you always a fan of this stuff?

HAMILL: I was a total freak for these kinds of movies. As for getting the role of Luke Skywalker, I really stumbled into it. Just last year, I saw that they included our audition tapes as a DVD extra, and I saw William Katt’s and Robby Benson’s and Kurt Russell’s tapes, and they were all great. It seems so arbitrary that I was anointed.

HADER: Was it true that they were casting for Carrie [1976] at the same time?

HAMILL: When we auditioned, it was a total cattle call, where they didn’t even tell us about the movie—we just went in and talked for a few minutes. Brian De Palma was looking for actors for Carrie and sitting next to him was George Lucas. Since Lucas didn’t speak the whole time, I thought he was De Palma’s assistant. I didn’t know what he looked like! So I did my thing, and a couple of weeks later, I went to my agent, and there were six or seven pages of audition material for me. By the time I got the part, I assumed that Harrison Ford was the lead, because he’s a traditional leading man. I thought I was going to be his sidekick, you know, like Captain America and Bucky.

HADER: Or Batman and Robin.

HAMILL: Then I opened up the script, and at the time it said: The Adventures of Luke Starkiller as Taken From the “Journal of the Whills,” Saga I: Star Wars. I just couldn’t believe my eyes. I thought, “How are they going to do all this?” Robots, the Death Star, all of it—it blew my mind.

HADER: Did you have confidence that they could do it?

HAMILL: You have to believe. But it’s always a little disconcerting—what you imagine in your head and what you see on set.

HADER: Describe a moment on set when you went, like, “Wait, these are the Sand People?”

HAMILL: The lightsabers, for a start. George referred to it as the most expensive low-budget movie ever made. At one point, Fox screened raw footage to some people, because they needed more money to finish it. Imagine it with no effects, no music, no nothing. The general consensus, because it played so horribly, was that they should just shut it down and take a tax loss. It was only [20th Century Fox executive] Alan Ladd Jr. who saw the potential and gave us his blessing. I think they gave us like a million and a half more. Do you remember seeing it when you were young? Did it scare you, or did you love it?

HADER: I remember going to see Return of the Jedi [1983] on my fifth birthday—the people tearing the tickets were dressed as stormtroopers—but the first image I can remember on a movie theater screen is that close-up from Empire [The Empire Strikes Back, 1980], of Han in carbonite. I flipped out, and my dad had to take me out of the theater. Then he told me the whole thing on the ride back; he was like, “Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s dad!” And that’s how he said it—not his father, his dad. [laughs] What was it like, back then, leading such a massive franchise?

HAMILL: It was kind of like The Prince and the Pauper, where one day you’re nobody and the next you’re partying with Andy Warhol. It was surreal. I came from a big enough family, so I didn’t let it get to my head too much or change my view of the world. The first time I went to the Oscars was like that, too. It wasn’t really me walking the red carpet. It was like watching a movie of a Hollywood premiere. You have to have an intellectual distance from it, because it’s so atypical from your everyday life. I’m sure you feel the same way. You can’t sit in the park and people watch anymore, that ship has sailed. Star Wars ebbed and flowed, but I never expected it to come back, certainly not with this intensity. Carrie and I were in Orlando, with fans. It’s just astonishing the passion and affection that they have for all of this stuff. It’s overwhelming. You can get emotional about it because it’s so personal, the way they relate it to their own lives.

HADER: Batman, too. [Hamill has served as the voice of the Joker in animated series, films, and video games, starting with Batman: The Animated Series in 1992.]

HAMILL: That’s a whole subgenre of comic book nerds who know that I’m a nerd, too. I’m one of them, so they love the fact that I’m not posing.

HADER: What is it like working with [Last Jedi director] Rian Johnson or J.J. Abrams, people who grew up with Star Wars? Is it ever weird to be told things about your character, when you know him better than anyone else?

HAMILL: With J.J. and with Rian, it’s the first time that the fan generation has grown into being in the position that they are. I was surprised in many ways how they saw not just my character, but the overall piece, because you get really possessive over the years. But Rian, what a blessing that guy is. He is unassuming and amiable. I’ve never seen him raise his voice. I’ve never heard him curse. I never heard him humiliate anybody else in front of the entire crew.

HADER: [laughs] When the first trilogy ended, did you feel a sense of relief? I know when I left SNL, it was a big relief.

HAMILL: It was exhilarating. It felt like senior year of high school. You know those last moments when you’re clearing out your locker? You’re going to miss all these people you know, but there’s the exhilaration of what comes next. It’s like jumping out of an airplane and hoping for the best, hoping your parachute opens. I was lucky that a lot of pressure was taken off financially; I didn’t have to do stuff that I didn’t want to do, so I indulged myself. I always wanted to do theater, so I did lots of theater. I got to do a comic mockumentary, and I wrote a comic book, and I discovered that the Joker gave me a whole new career. I didn’t expect to be the Joker, of course, but with voice acting, it liberates you to play characters you’d never do in a million years because you’re physically not right. You can show up looking like hell, you don’t have to memorize your lines because you can read them right off the page, and you get to play the most fun parts. You come in and you kick everyone’s ass and you get your own ass kicked, and then you go home.

HADER: I do animated things, too, and they’re so much fun. But do you get tired after a session?

HAMILL: Oh, yeah. It’s a real workout. But it’s so entertaining. It’s like going to a really great nightclub act and getting paid for it.

HADER: I really liked The Big Red One. What was that like?

HAMILL: I was a huge Sam Fuller fan. Within five minutes of meeting him, I went, “Holy Christ, I’ve been drafted!” He got up on his feet and he started telling me the story of that film, with the explosions and the rat-a-tat-tat, and I was mesmerized. He had such charisma, such magic. He was a firecracker, like Yosemite Sam. I was traumatized when it came out because, even though it got good reviews and takes its place among the great war films, it wasn’t what we all hoped for. They cut it down to an hour and 50 minutes, to the point where it was so incomprehensible. Now, of course, it’s been restored to its proper length. If anybody’s reading this and is thinking about watching the movie: make sure it’s the two-and-a-half-hour version! Not that truncated version. I wish Sam were alive to have seen that because that would have made him happy, and he deserved it. Like any great artist who is ahead of the time, he was not welcome in Hollywood at a certain point.

HADER: There was a great documentary about him called The Typewriter, the Rifle, & the Movie Camera. That was when I first heard about him.

HAMILL: Was I in it?

HADER: You’re not talking in it, but there’s a clip from The Big Red One in it.

HAMILL: Okay, yeah, I remember that one. I hope you and I get to work together some time.

HADER: That would be awesome.

HAMILL: I have been loyal to Saturday Night Live from the very beginning. When it first came on, I said, “We’d better enjoy this because it’s for sure going to be cancelled. This is only going to last one season.” So I started taping them all. I had no idea it would become such an institution. I guess we can both relate to getting lucky and hitting the jackpot.

BILL HADER IS A COMEDIAN, ACTOR, AND WRITER. THIS SPRING HE WILL STAR IN THE HBO SERIES BARRY, WHICH HE CO-CREATED.

— Interview Magazine

#interview #mark hamill #bill hader #star wars #cast #luke skywalker #interview magazine

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lady-une · 7 years

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Always and Forever

So the other day i was feeling kind of soft and Jay was dancing his way through my head like he always is. After looking at some writing prompts i came up with this. I hope you enjoy and i also did a mood board so yay me! As always big thanks to my luv @tears-of-orphans for doing a quick read on this. And please share if you could and let me know what you think!

Pairing: Jay park and reader (f)

Theme: best friends

rating: cute for soft jay

word count: 3135

You slowly dragged your tired body into your apartment, fully exhausted from a long day at work. Today like any day you often wondered if all these late hours were really worth it. Would the upper management even acknowledge all the hard work you were putting in? Would you finally get that position you have been after for years? Kicking your heels off and dropping your stuff on the floor near the door you walk your way over to the bed and fall into it. Grabbing the pillow from the head of the bed you snuggle into it letting out a long sigh, finally feeling all the stress escape your body. Just as you felt your body falling into the deep sleep you were disturbed by your phone loudly going off. You reach for another pillow to cover your face trying to drown out the loud ringing, eventually it stopped and you smiled only for it to start again. You knew who was calling and the last thing you wanted to do was go out. You continue to ignore it until finally it stops all together, you smile as you take the pillow off your face thinking you can finally get some rest. A rhythmic knocking at your door had your eyes shooting open followed by your phone starting back up.

You clamp your eyes shut wishing your friend would let you rest in peace but in the end you get up off your bed and walk over to the door opening it so your friend can enter your small quaint apartment.

“Y/n, why didn’t you pick up your phone? Plus why are you still dressed like that? You said you were going to go out with us tonight.”

You shut the door and look at your friend who was sporting the silliest puppy dog face, the one that would always get him his way but not tonight.

“Jay I am exhausted, even if I went out with you guys I don’t think I could even stay awake. Can I take a rain check?”

“You promised, you have flopped on our plans the last couple of weeks. I was really looking forward to it. We never really get to hang out these days.”

You walk over to your bed and sit down on the edge looking up at your friend who was now pouting. You and Jay grew up together with your parents being best friends. When he left the states, you were lost without him but he always made time to keep in touch with you. When you had finally made the choice to move to Korea to further your career you had thought it would only be a small stay. Four years later and you were still here trying to get a name for yourself in the fashion world. Not everyone could be like Jay making their own way, he was living his dream and you were always so proud of him. While your dream was to have your own fashion magazine, you knew it probably wouldn’t happen so you just decided instead of being your own boss you would allow someone else to tell you how to do things and fetch their coffee.

“I know and I am sorry Jay, it’s just things are crazy at work and I really want this promotion.”

“Y/N I don’t know why you stay there, they don’t appreciate all that you do for them. Why won’t you just let me help you start your own magazine?”

“Because I don’t want to get hand me outs, I want to work for my own stuff. But let’s not talk about that, you have a party to get to and I have a nice hot shower I need to take before I crash for the night.”

Standing from your bed you make your way to your dresser grabbing an old shirt and sleep shorts along with your undergarments before making your way to the shower. Stopping with your hand on the door knob you look back at Jay.

“Make sure you lock up and maybe we can do coffee tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

The shower felt amazing on your aching muscles, you didn’t even know you were hurting in some spots until you felt the muscles relax under the hot streams coming from the shower head. With the bathroom nice and steamy you move from the water stream to sit on the edge of the bath tub. You couldn’t help but think about Jay’s face when you turned him down yet again. You hated breaking your promises but work had to come first, being the man Jay was with his work ethic you knew he understood. Yet it didn’t make you feel any better as you missed him as well. You missed the late nights of relaxing and watching random shows on the TV. A laugh escaped your lips thinking back to the one day in November where you two sat watching iron chef, they were cooking Turkeys and one decided to make his in a pig bladder. Jay had made a comment that maybe it would taste like bacon while the idea of it being in a bladder no matter how much they cleaned it repulsed you. Eventually the water became cold and you knew it was time to get out. You went through your nightly facial routine before getting dressed and exiting the bathroom.

Upon leaving the bathroom you stopped right in your tracks at what you saw. There lounging on your bed was Jay wearing a pair of his sweat pants he left at your place and no shirt. Your eyes then noticed the bags of food sitting on your little kitchen table with the smell of your favorite restaurant filling your nostrils.

“Jay what are you doing here? I thought you left?”

“I did leave, I went and got food for us. I called the guys and told them to go on without me, I needed to spend some time with my girl.”

You felt the blush creep up your chest to your cheeks as it always did when he called you that. You knew he didn’t mean anything by it, it was just a pet name he gave you back in grade school that just stuck with you. He started calling you that when the girls were making fun of you for the lovely teenage blemishes you had. What Jay didn’t know was that’s when your feelings changed for him, you didn’t see him as the older brother anymore instead he became the boy your cherished and grew into the man you wanted to spend your life with. Turning from Jay and walking to the food gave you a chance to collect yourself, you knew things would never be that way with Jay and you had to keep yourself in check.

“Jay you didn’t have to.”

“Well I had no choice, I want to spend time with you before we go on tour.”

The reminder of his upcoming tour made your heart ache. It was already hard enough to find time with both of your schedules but add on a tour and the fact that he won’t even be in the same country made the pain worse. You close your eyes to keep the tears at bay and when you open them Jay is right next to you with some bowls to put your food in. You look at him and let a small smile grace your face. With both of your bowls full of your food you make your way back to the bed to sit and watch TV.

“What do you feel like watching Y/N?”

“I don’t know, put something funny on.”

Jay pulls up the guide and looks for something finally setting on the movie “White Chicks”, it was a movie that you two loved to watch. You both laughed between bites at the Wayne’s brothers antics. It always bugged you that no one could tell that they were men horribly dressed up as two small women, yet it made for a good comedy movie. That’s Hollywood for you, hell that’s pretty much the entertainment world. Jay use to tease you all the time for your love of Sailormoon, himself not understanding how the people couldn’t put two and two together. As if there are multiple young teenage girls running around with blonde long meatball hair styles, either that or everyone was just plain daft. Soon enough the credits were rolling and you were both finished with your food. Jay not entirely ready to leave you for the night suggested an old school show to watch.

“How are we going to watch it? I doubt MTV has that on their website.”

“I actually found a YouTube channel that has all the episodes of FEAR on it, I have been waiting to watch it with you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I remember us always talking about how we would go on the show once we got older. That we could outlast all those wimps and wouldn’t even get scared.”

“Oh my god yes! They were horrible with how they would get scarred at the littlest things.”

“So you wanna watch it?”

“Hell yes!”

“Go put the bowls in the sink and turn the lights off while I get it up on the TV.”

With a new round of energy you grabbed the two bowls and went to the sink rinsing them off before leaving them to wash later. Walking to the light switch you turn it off and turn to go back to the bed. Stopped yet again at the sight of him on your bed only being illuminated by the glow of the TV as he has tongue stuck between his lips while he searches for the channel he was talking about. The man was a sex god to so many fans, all of the comments on his social media never allowed you to think otherwise. Women and men leaving comments about how their oppa looked sexy dancing or how they knew what he could do with that tongue of his. Yet you saw him as your best friend. The dorky silly kid who let you dress him up when you were 5 because you wouldn’t stop crying that you had no one to play dress up with. The silly kid who would always pull pranks on you but never allowed anyone else to. The best friend who always stood up for you against the bullies. The best friend who punched a boy breaking his nose because he wouldn’t shut up about how developed you were in the chest compared to the other girls. Jay was your everything but he would never be truly yours.

“Earth to Y/N, come in Y/N.”

“What?”

“What are you thinking about over there, I have been calling your name but you stood there like a zombie. Are you really that tired? I can go if you wanna sleep.”

“Oh uh sorry, got lost in a thought. No don’t go, let’s watch our show.”

Jay stood off the bed to pull the covers back and you climbed right in scooting to your spot near the wall. Since Jay often would have to get up and leave at random times in the night you always slept near the wall so he wouldn’t have to climb over you. With Jay finally settled under the covers next to you he hit play and the familiar intro music filled the dark room.

The show was just as cheesy as it was all those years ago before the found footage style of film took off. The cast was strapped with cameras to their chest and their helmets, allowing them to capture everything as they went on their solo and sometimes companion missions around the dark eerie location they were camped out in. You laughed at some of the comments they were making or how they were acting. Yet being Jay, he knew exactly when to strike, his hand jumped out to grab you on the side just as a scary part came on causing you to shout a loud curse as you jumped damn near off the bed. You turn your head to glare at Jay but all you see is his had thrown back as loud hard bits of laughter came from his mouth. He was laughing so hard that his hands went around his waist to hold it as the laughter was causing his stomach to hurt.

“Ha ha, laugh it up Jay. Just you wait, your turn will come soon enough!”

“I couldn’t help myself, you were so in tuned with the show I couldn’t pass up the chance. Whatever you dish out will be worth it to see you jump and cuss like that.”

“Mhmm, we will see about that.”

You grab a small pillow and smack Jay across the chest with it.

“Pabo.”

He grabs the pillow from your hand and tosses it to the ground before his arm comes around your shoulder puling you to him so your head can rest on him.

“I’m sorry, I will try to hold the scares in I promise.”

The episode ends and another starts as you let out a yawn, the round of energy was finally starting to fizzle out.

“Sit up.”

You look at Jay before following his command, you sitting up allowed him to shimmy his way down on the bed. With him fully laid back he grabbed your arm and pulled you back down so your head was laying on his chest. This wasn’t anything new to the two of you, you often would snuggle like this when watching a movie or when you two were just relaxing listening to music. Another yawn escaped your mouth and you nuzzled your face into his chest taking in the comfort he was providing you.

“Close your eyes Y/N and get some sleep.”

“No, I wanna watch some more episodes with you.”

“The episodes aren’t going anywhere.”

“No but you are, you will probably leave once I am asleep. Then you will be gone on tour and we will be back to the dark ages of doing video messages or just texting.”

“Nothing I can do about that, if I could I would drag you with on this tour but I doubt that would be possible with your job.”

“No it’s not, I am just going to miss you.”

“I know and I will miss you too but I will be back before you know it, plus we can spend all the time possible together before I go.”

“I hope so.”

“We will.”

“Besides, I couldn’t come anyways. Me being there would cramp your style and you would lose out on the tour booty.”

“Oh whatever, you know damn well I don’t fuck around like that. Girls are crazy out there, I am not trying to get caught up in some baby mama scandal or some shit.”

You laugh knowing he was telling the truth, no matter what the media tried to portray he wasn’t the fuck boy everyone says he is. He was like any other man wanting only one girl in his life, to have that strong connection to the woman he loved. He eventually wanted the whole package, the wife and kids but now wasn’t the right time for that. You smile as you feel Jay move to lay facing you with you still fully in his arms. His free hand went to your hair to caress it like how you loved, knowing it always helped you fall asleep. His chest started to vibrate as he hummed a soft melody causing your eyes to get extremely heavy. Your breathing evened and you could feel yourself falling into that warm embrace of slumber. Some time passes before you hear Jay speak.

“Y/N, are you sleeping?”

You don’t answer as you can’t even find the energy to open your mouth.

“You must be. I wish I had the courage to say this when your awake but I don’t. Call me a coward because that’s what I am.”

You felt his chest raise with the deep breath he took, you were fully awake but tried to keep your breathing the same to not let him know you could hear him.

“After all these years I still can’t say this to your face, but I love you. God I have loved you since we were kids but I didn’t even know it back then. The years we were apart were the worst, with all the bullshit I went through I just wanted you here with me. Now that I have you here I don’t ever want to let you go. No woman could ever measure up to you, none of those girls who throw themselves at me could ever replace you in my heart. But to see you with a guy is probably the most painful thing I ever have to go through, but I do it because I want you happy. This tour is going to be so hard on me and I wish I could share these feelings with you but I can’t. I know you only see me as a brother and best friend, that’s why I won’t ever say anything. I don’t want to make you run away from me. Just know that I love you.”

You can feel the tears prickling at your eyes trying to escape and you couldn’t even make a sniffle or an any other noise because you didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable knowing you heard everything. But god you wanted to pick your head up and tell him what he meant to you, to tell him that you felt the same way. That you have felt that way for years! But you didn’t move, you staid in that same spot even when be dipped his head to lightly touch his lips against yours. You stayed that way until you felt his chest rise and fall in a slow pattern signaling that he had fall asleep. It was then that you slowly moved away to prop yourself up a bit to look down at him as you wiped the tears that fell. His face was so peaceful with his lips slightly parted, how you wanted to wake him back up and tell him you loved him. Instead like the coward you were you also finally spoke the words you have held back for years.

“I love you too Jay, always have and always will.”

You slowly lowered yourself back down into his embrace and felt him pull you closer as he rubbed his face in your hair taking in your scent. You closed your eyes and let out a sigh but your eyes shot open when you heard his voice.

“Always and forever Y/N.”

#side note i really do love watching iron chef #the episode in question was one i watched back in high school and really wanted to try #please share my stuff lol #jay park one shot #jay park scenario #jay park scenarios #jay park imagine #jay park fanfic #jay park #jay fucking park #jay park imagines #jay park story #soft jay park

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tube-thoughts-blog · 6 years

Text

Vol. 11

Zero stars - terrible, 1/2 a star - dull, 1 star - folly, 1 1/2 stars - lacking, 2 stars - fair, 2 1/2 stars - decent, 3 stars - terrific

"Groove On Fight" --Sega Saturn-- (Atlus) -1997- *Imagine a Japanese pretty boy version of Christopher Walken with a neo biker / leather cowboy fetish. Now imagine an entire, -wealthy & powerful- "Game of Thrones style" inbred family of them all with some peculiar fetish. They fight it out for control of the family. The matriarchy of the family is two grannies tied back to back like Siamese bondage twins. One fight takes place on the back of an American type bomber plane up above the clouds. That last sentence pretty much speaks to the disturbed nature of a lot of Japanese art after World War 2.* close to 3 stars

Godfrey Ho's "Ninja Commandments" (1987) *Who knew that honky moral issues like pre-marital sex were such problems for Ninjas, or that they liked to party with skanky groupies, and that pretty much all ninjas are not-so-secretly middle age white men.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Red Letter Media: Best of the Worst --------

*Deadly Prey: Ice T's "The Game"(?), a movie where a guy gets kidnapped by army dudes and hunted for sport only to fight back, this time with a hero who's a Patrick Swayze type bohunk Rambo.* 2 1/2 stars

*Hard Ticket To Hawaii: Skinemax classic about blonde bimbos trying to stop criminal smuggling in an exotic locale. Also, killer, "infectious," cancer-ridden, huge snake.* 2 1/2 stars

*Miami Connection: Lost & found gem of a movie with nearly as many awkwardly awesome moments as Tommy Wiseau's "The Room."* 3 stars

Red Letter agrees that Miami Connection is "The Best of the Worst."

---------------------------------

"Red Earth" aka "Warzard" (Capcom) *A wizard summons up a bunch of kaiju monsters, in scattered epic sites, that only a big lion-man and several other heroes can vanquish from the earth. Typical wizard being a total dickhead, to the rest of magic-impaired mankind, behavior.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Bushido Blade 2" (Playstation 1) *Bloodthirsty Japanese clans have kept up the honor of warring over territory for power for centuries up into modern times, in this game. It's a nice mixture of both old and new worlds, and the music and dialogue is well done, and even the setting and characters (though limited by the blocky polygon look of early 3D). It keeps with "realism" too with one good killing stroke, with a warrior's sword, doing the job. It even has thrills like bikini girls with machine guns.* 2 1/2 stars

"The Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service Vol. 4" (Dark Horse Manga) *Morbid and eccentric tales of a group of Buddhist college students with unique gifts of communicating with corpses littered in strange locations around Japan. They help fill the odd requests of these bodies to be put at peace usually in some morbid way or involving some morbid mystery. Instead of trash "reality" entertainment like Long Island Medium, this much better "talking with the deceased" fiction should be turned into tv entertainment for western audiences. It's so much more interesting and entertaining.* 3 stars

"Savage Reign" (SNK) *This is the Kris Kross of fighters. Kriss Kross being a pair of 12 year old rappers whose record company realized their talent was lacking so they came up with the bright idea to have the duo dress with their clothes backwards. The gimmicks in Savage Reign are plenty. There's a clown who fights with roller skates. A valley-girl swinging around a pink bowling ball. His name is Joker, and she looks like a cleaned up Harley Quinn, come to think of it now. A Vanilla Ice look-a-like sports a Captain America' Canadian tuxedo of denim and stars and stripes. The Ryu style hero, of the game, fights without fireballs but instead a silly boomerang. The big boss is a fancier "cock of the walk" Shao Kahn throwing his punches with fists covered in boxing gloves. Sickly serene backgrounds include a generic Disneyland theme park and an underground cow milking gang hideout that is almost as weird as something out of "Naked Lunch."* 2 stars

The Spoony Experiment: Clones of Bruce Lee *When Bruce Lee tragically died during the height of his career, movie producing jerks didn't let it stop them from abusing his legacy. Tons of Bruce Lee impersonators popped up and a sub-genre of exploitation movies was born. They were called Brucesploitation flicks. In this one, it's about as shameless as it gets with a plot about cloning Bruce Lee before his body has even grown cold and using the clones for nefarious purposes.* close to 2 stars for the sleazy, cheesy movie and 3 stars for Spoony's review

"Fight For Life" (The Last Official Atari Jaguar Game) --1996-- *Show a kid, today, an Atari 2600 game and they'll think you're giving them something like an ink blot test. Having witnessed an Atari 2600 game, back in the day, it felt like I was standing on the edge of the digital future. The Atari Jaguar promised that brave, new, digital future with their doomed Jaguar gaming machine. I remember the first time I saw Sega's Virtua Fighter in an arcade. I did get that "tomorrow feeling." I couldn't wait to take these blocky 3D characters and make them my sandbox toys tossing them around with their ragdoll physics. It was mind blowing. Atari's Fight For Life wanted to be like Virtua Fighter, only it comes off more like a 2600 ink blot test for the imagination, and really painful to the senses. Man, is it ugly and clunky. It's definitely not "epic," but I can compare it to something else that is "epic." The Faith No More "Epic" music video where the fish out of water is flopping its death throes. It's more like that fish than a jaguar.* between 1 and 1 1/2 stars

The Cinema Snob: Karate Girl *Rape revenge exploitation "thriller" circa 1970s about a mute girl from a Turkish village. The kind of movie that Tarantino would rip off elements from and be called a genius later. Also featuring an infamous over-the-top death scene that's become an internet meme.* close to 2 stars for the movie & close to 3 stars for the review

"The Blonde Fury" (1989) *Cynthia Rothrock is the greatest female action star. It had to be said, because it's true. This is a Hong Kong action flick about crazy counterfeiters and quirky investigators. The English dubbing is extra entertaining and the comedy is quite clever.* 3 stars

Black Sails: Season 1 Episode 5 *Finally, a bloody battle, at sea, to go along with the pirate base politics and prostitute abuse.* 3 stars

Hot Package: Pilot (Adult Swim) --2013-- *Spoof of insipid celebrity obsessed shows like E!NEWS and Entertainment Tonight, but with a weird EverythingIsTerrible style obscure internet clip twist. Featuring "hot phone sex" Pat from Access Hollywood and produced by Tim & Eric from Adult Swim.* close to 2 1/2 stars

"Slap Happy Rhythm Busters" (Playstation One) *Filled with quirky characters who use supermoves similar to a Marvel Versus series game & graphics as brightly colored as 'Viewtiful Joe' 'Katamari Damacy' & 'Legend of Zelda Windwaker', Slap Happy will slap you silly with enjoyment.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Slaughter Sport" aka "Tongue of the Fatman" (Razorsoft) Sega Genesis 1991 *Another barbaric battle of death, in a palace pit, hosted by a Jabba the Hutt style freak boss who also looks like a shirtless Eric Cartman, in his underwear, with a hideous face and tongue on his fat rolls of a belly. Tech-abominations like a cybernetic chicken, fierce sex slave warrior chicks, gassy gargoyles, spider-women, bad boy white rappers, and other mutated freaks of the wasteland compete for the hunger and amusement of Mondu, the fatman. His pet sand-shark finishes off the losers.* running from close to 2 stars down to 1 star

"Godzilla, Destroy All Monsters: Melee" (x-Box) *This has almost everything a fan of kaiju destruction could want. Just about every Tokyo stomping monster is in it, and playable. Only thing missing is frightened citizens running about pointing at "Gojira." Plus, I think the voices over the airwaves should sound Asian. Points for the quirky bits like a UFO hovering over attacking and Mothra getting in on the action.* close to 3 stars

"Rakuga Kids" *Some brats battle their stuffed animals around their playrooms and neighborhood that look like they're out of a pop-up storybook. It's sort of Street Fighter 2 meets Toy Story 2. Animated similar to Rugrats and Adult Swim's Home Movies.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Dragoon Might" -Arcade- (Konami) --1995-- *The fancy presentation of this game reminds me of 2009's 3D spectacle, Avatar. It makes me wanna reach out and pick a low hanging piece of pretty fruit and bite into it. Yet, there's a pit. The artistry and poetry looks at times like it's coming from a Crouching Tiger, but hidden in the bushes, ready to pounce, is a shirtless guy in torn jeans and brandishing a butcher knife. It's just goodtime trash stealing your quarters.* 2 1/2 stars

"Kaiser Knucle" (Arcade) *This is the Vanilla Ice "Cool As Ice" of Street Fighter 2 rip offs. You can play as Fred Flinstone's daughter or "Barts" Yes with an S (teen biker Bart Simpson?) & Ryu w/ flowing mullet, or even "Boggy" who is a MC Hammer wannabe. "Don't hurt 'em!"* 2 stars

Nostalgia Critic: Rise of the Commercials *A look back on when silly advertising really RULED! "Don't put it in your mouth." That is unless it's been properly branded by corporate America and parent approved.* 3 stars

Double Dare: Super Sloppiest Moments *Kids, and their mostly whitebread families, get covered in green slime.* 2 1/2 stars

Jack & Triumph: Commercial *It starts off funny with making fun of Dennis Leary for stealing Bill Hicks' comedy act. Then it gets typical with the whole Alan Thicke showing up and we're supposed to accept that he's now "ironically funny" because he's a square former celebrity acting in an offensive way that we never saw on his old tv show. That's the same kind of lame shit that media is always trying to do in a hipster way with all these former celebrities from the 70s, 80s, or 90s. Robert Smigel can do so much better, see TV Funhouse for example.* close to 2 1/2 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Master Ninja 1 *Lee Van Cleef makes a convincing wild west badass. Surrounded by 70s style slacker dude in a muscle van, mousey & young Demi Moore, hicksploitation villains, and obvious kung fu stuntman doing his action work -Lee struggles to make a convincing martial arts badass.* 2 stars with riffing between 1 1/2 and 2 stars without riffing

"Project Justice" --Sega Dreamcast-- (Capcom) *I believe it was the 70s, that era of great television, that first introduced the novelty of students teaming up with a teacher in the classic "Welcome Back, Kotter." The 80s went further, with this, having society's school aged misfits solving problems of gangs of bullies terrorizing the halls of school or jerks who wanted to close down the local youth center and even the retro cheese staple of ski slope jerks challenging our youthful heroes to a race for control of the ski slope club's mountain. This game is similar, in nature, and has the extra benefit of featuring quirky Japanese style characters and aesthetics.* close to 3 stars

"Last Bronx" (Sega Model 2 Arcade) *Consumer electronics have always been trendy with yuppies. When home entertainment centers became hot, everybody had to have one. Digital watches were on every wrist. A Sony walkman around every neck and in every pocket. Still, there was always a stigma about technology, whenever it was new or in development. At the turn of the 21st century, few would have imagined people lining up around the streets to get each new Apple computer product. Same with gaming, it was a kids novelty, and didn't have the online social media culture that it enjoyed after their was a broadband connection and a Sony Playstation 2 in most every living room across the globe. In the 90s testing stage for high end electronics and gaming, Japan was the tech giant. This game says "Last Bronx" but it's more like "Neo Tokyo." It had to have been pretty revolutionary for the time, and yet it looks very much like some thing most of us western yuppies would turn away at.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Robocop, the series: Officer Missing *"Winter is coming".... Land of the Dead... The Purge.... A Christmas Carol (Well, maybe not that one), Robocop did it first.* close to 2 1/2 stars

The Gong Show with Dave Attell: Season 1 Episode 8 *This show yips off into the sunset (cancelled, deservingly, I'm guessing) like a balloon animal dog from the sphincter of a sword swallower. It was riding a flaming pogo stick. The straw that broke the camel's back was heavy metal cookie monster or large man in diaper strip tease.* 2 stars

Robert Crumb: Despair *"You may not think it's funny, but I've got a morbid sense of humor."* close to 3 stars

"Power Instinct: Matrimelee" (Atlus) --Neo Geo-- *The creepy family members, from "Groove On Fight," are back. This time they're fighting it out, on a televised American Idol type stage, Jerry Springer style. The prize is a hand in marriage. Given its pedigree, and Japanese setting, it's weird as fuck, yet very surprisingly charming.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Kill Or Be Killed" (1980) *Our villain: an escaped Nazi seeking vague revenge by hosting a "Enter the Dragon" type death tournament. Our hero: a mullet-headed, shirtless, karate badass in a tight pair of bell-bottom jeans. He's out to save his girlfriend from the Nazi. Our wildcard: a Game of Thrones type scheming dwarf helping out our karate hero. Our story: pure grindhouse chop sockey cinema.* close to 3 stars

"Rabbit" (Sega Saturn) *Presentation of this game is nice. It reminds me of the new HD Rayman games' colorful eye candy and whimsy joined together with a clever Cartoon Network cartoon like Regular Show or Adventure Time. The fighters each have a beast or spirit animal. It reminds me of sports fanatics and their team mascots. If so many animals weren't endangered, sports fans would be worse than an old school Ruskie with a dancing bear. There would be a stadium full of Eagles fans each with their own personal bald eagle to show off. Dolphins fans would have a kids swimming pool, in the living room beneath the big screen, sporting a live dolphin who they'd feed anchovies off of their pizza to. Another thing about these fighting games, why are all the people in the background so unaffected by the brawls? They're always nicely eating a bowl of noodles in an outdoor cafe or riding a bicycle with a monkey or.....* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Waku Waku 7" (Sunsoft) -1996- *While watching lemmings hop around musically, on this game, I had an epiphany. Fellas we are never gonna get around to building those war robots out of our spare lawnmower and washing machine parts. Ladies, our obese house cats aren't gonna magically start talking and giving us humorous life advice to share on social media. Don't fret, we'll always have the Japanese to create our crazy dreams. That is unless a giant, radiated salamander, with a taste for human sushi, crawls up on the sands of some south Pacific beach.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Streets of Rage 3" (SEGA) *It's a typical beat 'em up story. The evil Mr. X is controlling the city with his band of street punks. Our heroes: Dr. Zan (the bald fu-manchu sporting head of a martial arts sensei badass on top of a cyborg body riding around on rocket skates), this ninja chick in a short minskirt, a blonde Ken Masters look-a-like kung fu street fighter, and a token 90s black kid who loves basketball so much he won't put down his b'ball. They have to battle through wave after wave of mercs and pick up turkey dinner power ups.* 2 1/2 stars

Red Letter Media: Best of the Worst --------

Russian Terminator: *"that's what friends ARE! for" also an Anna Nicole look-a-like, a Kenny Rogers look-a-like, and a ninja.* 2 very awkward stars

Ninja Vengeance: *"Ninja" (a horrible one) John Tesh look-a-like on the run from the Klan in the backwoods of a hicksploitation town.* 1 1/2 stars

Never Too Young To Die: *Heart-throb John Stamos, sexy "Vanity" who's a Prince protege, and chick with a dick Gene Simmons is the rockstar who plays the over the top villain.* 2 stars

Red Letter Media ranks them best to worst as Russian T., Never Too Y., and Ninja V.*

---------------------------------

Freddy Krueger in "Mortal Kombat" (2011) *Freddy mocked the rising popularity of video games in "Freddy's Dead." Two decades later, he returns to the mockery. Released a couple years after the toothless remake, this tongueless appearance by Freddy is sorely missing Robert Englund's macabre wordplay.* 1 1/2 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Identity Crisis ----

*Jeff Conaway, and the sheriff from Friday the 13th: Part 6, give this episode a level of Tales from the Crypt "star power." The story is the 'Family Ties' zeitgeist of the its time period. The spirit of the 60s (hippies) versus the spirit of the 80s (yuppies).* close to 3 stars

*Teenage pound puppies. Emo pound puppies.* 1 1/2 stars for most of the episode 2 1/2 stars for the Freddy dreamhouse sequences

---------------------------

Forensic Files: Postal Mortem *Radioshack enthusiast who's a 'Hercules Bullseye Bomber' and master forger of Mormon historical documents.* 2 1/2 stars

Wizards and Warriors: Skies of Death *Doomsday cannon on the cliffs of doom.* 3 stars

Attack On Titan: Episode 2 *Giving a new meaning to "in your face." A term that I don't care for, but here it comes to represent humongous, naked, grinning humans stomping up in one's personal space to chow down on that person like a corndog. The emotions of the kids, and the dread of the situation for them, keeps everything from getting too out of hand as a spectacle.* 3 stars

The Cinema Snob: The Pierre Kirby Saga *A more-than-competent action badass from a handful of less-than-competent Hong Kong action exploitation "movies."* 3 stars for Snob's retrospect and close to 2 stars for the "movies"

Look Around You: Iron *Point point zero point, ring the bell and the experiment can begin within the twinkling of an eye that is hidden behind a metal face shackle.* 2 1/2 stars

VH1 Classics --- Pop Up Video --- (The Big 80's) -------

a-ha - "Take On Me": Few Americans stuck around to notice that this internationally popular Swedish band lasted long after their early 1980s one hit wonder and only broke up after the 1994 Winter Olypics in which they were featured European band.* 3 plus stars for the pop ups and 3 classic MTV stars for the original video

Pat Benatar - Love is a Battlefield": 30 year old Pat portrayed a 16 year old runaway "too controversial for MTV prostitute" in this video.* 3 plus stars with pop ups and close to 3 stars MTV classic without

John Cougar - "Jack & Diane": One guy lived in a coma for 37 years. He wasn't doing a lot of handclapping and air drumming like Johnny Cougar was doing in this video.* 3 stars with pop ups between 2 1/2 and 3 stars without

Lionel Richie - "Hello": Lionel loves for all of his video vixens to have the same hairstyle as he does.* 3 stars with pop ups 2 1/2 stars, cheesy stars, without pop ups

Van Halen - "Hot For Teacher": This unruly music video caused the child stars to eventually become unruly like the real life Van Halen.* 3 plus stars with pop ups 3 sleazy stars without pop ups

--------------------------

Viper: Mind Games *A sleeper saboteur, a vixen viper, and a truckload of disease.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Twisted Tales #10 ----------------- (Bruce Jones, Bernie Wrightson, Bill Wray, Rick Geary)

Beer: A story of ribbing greenhorns up where the tree-line ends and the green turns to white snowy mountains, and there be yeti's who drive a hard bargain and a sled.* 3 stars

One For The Money: A cat-burglar gets caught and commits murder. He assumes a bear-suit disguise and flees to the woods where he gets gunned down by hunters.* 2 1/2 stars

Hatchet Job: Scientists go back and time and bumble trying to solve the Lizzie Borden murders. ha.* 2 1/2 stars

Two For The Show: A retelling of the earlier cat-burglar tale. This time the party guest kills the intruder, then takes the jewels for himself. Instead of getting shot by a pair of hunters, he gets mauled by a mother grizzly bear. The irony.* close to 3 stars

A haggard man buys a bed from a used store for his sick daughter to rest on her deathbed as she gets out of the hospital. That night, he's visited by the ghost of a girl haunting the bed that died in it, years earlier, in a torn down orphanage fire.* 3 stars, I guess...

Poison in the Pantry: A miserable and mistreated wife and stepmother puts rat poison in the family's soup. She dreams of even better days, from behind bars.* 3 stars

-------------------------------

Hill Street Blues: Life. Death. Eternity... *Etcetera.* 3 stars

X Files: Tooms *Skinner, the Smoking Man, and one of the best "monster" villains ever on the show.* 3 stars

Twitch City: I'm Fat and I'm Proud *Every episode of every tv show ever on tape. And almost everything else a slacker could ever want, for all seasons, except love? And the ability to exit comfortably into society.* 3 stars

Real Pulp Comics #1 *Perverse and humorous tales of skid row lowlifestyle in the babyboom generation's peak.* 2 1/2 stars

Max Headroom: Neurostim *Football, Fast-Food, Fantasy. counter-Fucking-revolutionary.* 3 stars

Farscape: Nerve *Infiltrating a Peacekeeper base, and meeting the Peacekeeper's Darth Vader (Scorpius).* 3 stars

Look Around You: Brain *"Pretty smart for something that looks like a common garden cauliflower."* close 3 stars

Forensic Files: Micro Clues *Tiny communities of freshwater creatures ring out truth and justice from the lungs of a drowned boy of a Swiss village.* 2 stars

Kingdom Hospital: Season 1 Episode 10 *Call the doctor, call the nurse, these guys (King and Lars) are goofy and getting worse.* either 1 star or close to 2 1/2 stars

---Animal Planet--- I Was Bitten: The Walker County Incident *"Animal Planet, surprisingly human." Unsurprisingly stupid. Far more entertaining than the usual (Finding Bigfoot) cryptozoology reality tv whore idiots. Points for the twist ending prank gotcha moment.* either 1 star or close to 2 1/2 stars

======= Trash TV ---- Seasons Finale ------ Marathon ===================

Forensic Files: Something's Fishy *The cyanide tainted Excederin pain reliever panic of the early 90s.* 2 1/2 stars

Forensic Files: Sealed With A Kiss *Psycho teacher stalks herself and then frames a rival faculty member.* close to 3 stars

Forensic Files: Deadly Parasites *Shit leaked into Lake Michigan contaminates the Milwaukee water supply and kills over a hundred people.* 2 1/2 stars

American Horror Story --- Murder House: Afterbirth *The "Murder House" is back on the market at a reduced prices. Also, ghosts can slit other ghosts' throats and they bleed ghost blood. Who knew? They even like to celebrate the season of giving (Christmas) with all the trimmings of the living.* either 1 star or 3 stars for a balls out finale

American Horror Story --- Asylum: Madness Ends *Lana Winters (the reporter from AHS: Asylum) is no Edison Carter (the reporter from Max Headroom). And so concludes this chapter of American Melodrama. Horror's end is supposed to be wrapped up in neat little bows of tenderness... EH? No? Ok.* 2 1/2 stars, I guess

American Horror Story --- Coven: Go To Hell *"I made you die those little deaths." Hell is a fried chicken shack. Ghosts need passports for travel. Who knew? Paula Deen isn't really sorry. She's just sorry that she was caught.* close to 3 stars

American Horror Story --- Coven: The Seven Wonders

*Welcome to the World Series of witchcraft. Let the Harry Potter games begin.

I especially got a chuckle out of the girls just wanna have fun teleportation game of tag that happened right after the hippie witch got stuck in her own personal "8th grade biology dissection of a frog" hell.

It would seem like black humor, but I think it's not meant to be. It's just poor writing.

Take for instance how the redheaded hag/nag says that the new supreme witch can't have a "Whitewater scandal" to be a blemish on her new leadership.

So, she demands to be burned alive in the most soap opera dramatic and laughable way possible to the Stevie Nicks music that's playing throughout the show (the show even begins like a Stevie Nicks music video. *rolls eyes*).

Since the new Coven is going public (kind of like a corporation joining the New York Stock exchange and opening all their books up, or whatever), one would think that committing an act of murder (the witch burning) might somehow leak out and be frowned upon eventually leading to scandal.

Anyway, that aside, "The Axe Man" and "Fiona" carry the show with their charisma and moody moments together, as usual.

We get another feel good ending, for some reason, because that's horror, according to the producers of this show and the Fox musical GLEE.

Why are these guys pretending to do horror?

I did appreciate Fiona's return from the dead, before dying again (Ha), reminding me of Interview With A Vampire's scene where Tom Cruise crawls out of the swamp after being gatorbait left for dead by his gloomy boyfriend and porcelain doll daughter.

Also, in closing, Fiona's version of hell was quite fitting and moody compared to the pretentious and childish versions of hell for all the other characters.

For example; the annoying good teenager chick's hell beat out the annoying bad teenager chick's hell for level of awfulness.

And that was an accomplishment.

The bad chick's hell was being stuck on a Hollywood musical that she didn't like. *Snot*

The good chick's hell was having her James Dean wannabe boyfriend breaking up with her every day. *Vomit*

I guess hell is happening here on earth for every emo 16 year old all the time.

I have already wasted too many words on most of this pile stinky fish guts.*

running from around 1 1/2 stars a lot of the time up to 2 1/2 stars at different moments

==========================================================================

"Sacred Cow Halloween Special" circa 1993 (All Hallow's Eve? Why not? It's June) *Early 1990s public access tv special featuring a lot of low-fi indie music videos from bands who don't give a shit and live call in guests to the hosts and Bill Hicks in hell. Plus the legend, Bill Hicks, pulls out the home video footage of where he stood in the neighboring cow pasture, and ranted about the government, while Janet Reno rolled tanks with flamethrowers through the walls of a crazy cult so that they could charbroil children. Yep, have a happy trick r' Summer treat and roast in the heat.* more than 2 1/2 stars

"Beyond Belief" =================================

*Early 90s Nickelodeon took time to educate kids, where modern Nick tries to sell them tweeny bopper pop star insipid kid sitcoms.

Stories here include:

The City of the Dead that lies beneath Paris.

History lesson about how the Greeks burned half the Roman, enemy, fleet using solar energized shields.

Sadly poetic tale of The Elephant Man and his time in a London hospital.

Important message about conservation and protecting endangered animals. "Don't cut down the rainforest." Man, I have fond memories of "earth friendly" science lessons during my childhood school years. A really hopeful, positive time.

We visit the Cabaret Mechanical Theater featuring robotic dolls & toys (creepy and cool).

Some funny laws, around the world, are discussed like the illegal carrying of ice cream cones in your pocket in Kentucky and so on.

Cursed opera causes God to smite anyone the opera singer looks at while singing, "Oh, God smash him!"

We meet a 17 year old autistic genius artist who can draw any London monument or building. Autism was still misunderstood, greatly, during this time.

A visit to an old magician's backyard where he displays to us a new, old trick.

Finally, it's a history lesson about Westerners reluctance at first and then being sold on the idea and practice of embalming the corpses of their loved ones for funeral display.

Great stuff.

-Classic commercials include:

Scram Ball, "the hot new game."

Bubble tape, the bubble gum that's hard for grandma to eat.

Murray mountain bikes are so rugged that they can help a 10 year old outrun his 16 year old bro's pickup truck on rocky terrain.

A Fresh Prince of Bel'Air kid is tired of being told "no" so he eats Raisin Bran for some reason....

A gang of 90s tv kids have a video cam corder scavenger hunt thanks to McDonalds.*

close to 3 stars

=======================================================

Police Squad: A Substantial Gift (WLS7-Chicago) 3 - 4 - 1982 =============

*First we get a commercial for a home electronics and appliance store. Man, the 70s and early 80s had such an ugly color decor thing going on. Putrid greens, tans, yellows, and dingy greys going on everything from fridges to stoves to dishwashers to carpet to vaccuumcleaners. Some nice pics of walls of the very popular, at the time, ghetto blaster boom boxes (nice).

"Blast From The Past," Saturday at 6:30 featuring a dapper dude brushing his wavy hair and a go go chick hula hooping. The 80s were really nostalgic for the 50s.

And, now with a flashing red siren we're told we'll be watching Police Squad "In Color." The show starts out with a woman who's being stuck for cash by a crooked orthodonist. Ha. She kills her loan clerk boyfriend and frames a poor sap trying to get the loan in a double homicide.

A hazy looking Loren cosmetics commercial

followed by a movie trailer for the insipid Oscar bait movie "On Golden Pond."

Leslie Nielsen shows up to the crime, knocking over trash cans with his cop car. Funny sight gag of the meat wagon boys taking out an extra, extra long body on an extra, extra long stretcher. They find a way to work in the old type "Who's on first!?" joke to her formal statement of the crime.

The forensic lab guy is a wacko.

A visit to the victim's wife, and Nielsen rambles on about himself (ha) during her grief.

The killer dame shows up to give her official statement looking like an obvious fink in a new fur coat and feathered boa.

We get a funny scene where one cop's so tall his head is off camera.

"Crisp and clean" "No Caffeine" "Never had it, never will." "Feelin' up with 7 'Up."

A pretty model girl walks around fields of amber grains waving while sporting a "Cover Girl Face."

Benson & Open All Night are part of the ABC Friday Night line up.

Lieutenant Nielsen re-enacts the crime by actually shoothing his fellow officers, leaving a pile of bodies while he ponders the crime. Ha.

Cops and Priests (What do you know about life after death? *hands over a 20$*) seek confidential information from a shoe shine man.

Medieval orthodontist gear is highlighted via willingly happy kids wearing headgear. Leslie does some dental exam physical comedy.

Some oblivious cops sight gags in an elevator. Clever stuff.

Showdown with the dirty dame featuring bad wigs and a bullet filled Mexican standoff from a couple feet away from each other behind trash cans and a sidewalk bus bench. Bullhorn "Give it up!" warning from just as close a length.

New Aim mint is the talk of the whiteboy locker room..

Sexy as heck, and wet in a pool, Lynda Carter likes her lips "wet." Mmmmmm

Stay Tuned for Bossom Budies and "Night of 100 Stars"

Old school, syndicated television. Can't beat it.*

3 stars

=========================================================================

MTV's Ridiculousness with special guest Dr. Drew Pinsky *Normally this poor kid's America's Funniest Home Videos for skateboard wiggers, hosted by a skateboard wigger & his black friend & his airheaded blonde friend, would get zero stars for its unfunny commentary on outdated extreme sports accident videos and mishap/ prank videos.... but since quack pop-psychiatry tv celebrity "doctor" Drew is on here and giving insight into the social problems many of these fools, in these foolish videos, do happen to supposedly have... Well, it's more absurd and tolerable.* close to 2 stars

"Five Fingers Of Death" *It's the formula tale of bullies terrorizing a town, and the heroes finally standing up to them. It could be a western, an 80s surfing/ski resort movie, but here it's a Shaw brothers kung fu flick. Many hipsters will recognize the Kill Bill music that Tarantino stole from this film.* 3 stars

Tom Green's Subway Monkey Hour --2002-- *Tom Green will probably always be infamous for the terrible "Freddy Got Fingered," and he deserves it. This hour long MTV special featuring Tom being the weirdest Westerner possibly ever in Japan is way better than that awful Hollywood mistake of a "movie." In fact, it's a dozen times more interesting than the Jackass movies that borrow the skit after skit format of this special. Add an extra thirty minutes of footage from this trip to Japan, which I'm sure they had, and it would have been a better choice to be released in movie theaters instead of "Freddy Got Fingered."* close to 3 stars

Tales From The Crypt: Lover Come Hack To Me *Car trouble on a desolate road on the honeymoon night. The couple seeks shelter in an old-dark-house. There's a cozy fireplace with a big, medieval axe hanging above it. A storm is raging outside. The bride is a strange, little virgin. The groom is a sleazy bohunk acting surprised to have found a 45 magnum in his glove box. She wonders if he married her for the money (no surprise, he did). Bloody memories haunt the place same as their "romance." It's the perfect setting for mur-der (*Thunder & Lightning!*)...* 3 stars

Six Feet Under: The Will *Diving board death. Pyramid scheme. Backstreet Boy look-a-like douchey boyfriend. Meeting of gay firemen. Breaking up with Ed Begley Jr. Blackmail from beyond the grave. Selling a slightly used coffin at a discount rate. Burning someone's name into your flesh. Buyout offer. Emotional breakdown on the bus that killed the father. Toe suck.* close to 3 stars

100 Bullets: The Counterfifth Detective (Vertigo Comics) *Piano bar without a piano player. A private dick wrapped up like the Invisible Man. Stolen art with codes from one's past. A damaging echo.* between 2 1/2 & 3 stars

Justified: Season 1 Episode 5 *The cowboy's pa is an outlaw.* 3 stars

American Gothic: Resurrector *Going away presents for a ghost and a sacrifice to the devil.* close to 3 stars

Kung Fu: Nine Lives *"Find a cat or be a tramp all your life." "Dark and vain are the ways of lust, the poet said." or something of that nature...* 3 stars

"Master of the Flying Guillotine" *A bloody martial arts tournament, where every fighter has a unique gimmick or style, is interrupted by a badass villain using his flying guillotine to pull the heads off of every one armed boxer that he finds until he gets his revenge. He finds out that he's not as badass as the real one armed boxer. This flick had to have had a huge influence on both Street Fighter 2 and Mortal Kombat.* 3 stars

Doctor Who: The Satan Pit *A claustrophobic, high stakes sci fi story similar to The Thing, Leviathan, and Alien.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

"Horror Express" (Christopher Lee & Peter Cushing) *It's about time, some cryptozoology monster goodness. Finding Bigfoot type nonsense has almost killed the fun in this fantasy genre. It helps that this movie is Hammer horror style and has Lovecraftian-dread overtones.* 3 stars

Gerhard's America: Gerhard at NASCAR *Gerhard finds he has a lot in common with effeminate racer Michael Waltrip.* close to 2 1/2 stars

------ TV Carnage:

*A Lot Of Men Collect Barbie Dolls: "It's a professional hobby, now." Nothing weird, at all here.* 2 stars

*A Woman's Guide To Guns and Hallucinating: Learn about your weapon, instead of fantasizing about it.* close to 2 stars

*Aids = Hump Day Poison!: The 80s were all about high risk behavior.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Child Actor Failures: Are you being rigid enough or in some cases too rigid with your little gold-mine?* close to 3 stars

*Damn Shame: It's a shame that white boy thugs get gunned down every day. Call America's Most Wanted or Yo! MTV Raps with any info on the possible killer.* 2 1/2 stars

---------------------------------------

Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs: Big Trouble In Little China

*Joe Bob pokes fun at the culture of addiction.

We learn about Carter Wong, the martial arts expert who stars in the movie. Amazing credits to his kung fu game.

Preview for TNT's new classic "The Golden Child" starring Eddie Murphy

quirky KIA suv car commercial from 1998 featuring cliche gator hunting / swamp loving Cajuns who'd be the type in reality shows more than a decade later. It's funny here, sort of, but tiresome if you live in this era of bad reality tv "real folk" like this.

preview for Jacki Chan's "Rumble in the Bronx" and its American cable tv debut on TNT

a yuppy mom tries to stuff a pizza into her toaster, but doesn't have to anymore because some processed junk food company invented toaster pizza snacks. "White lady/mom problems"

Kim Cattral is gorgeous, in this movie, and not an old whore who'd make you swear off women like she would after her Sex in the City days

SNL's Weekend Update anchor Kevin Nealon sells out for a collect call "so 90s it hurts" advertisement. One good thing about cell phones is that these ads disappeared

Joe Bob's Drive In Totals for this flick: 57 dead bodies... One kidnapping... Four motor vehicle chases... One wheelchair chase... One White-Slavery Ring... Yellow-Slavery Ring... One Machine Gun Massacre... One Machete Battle... Multiple Blue Finger-Flame... One Zombie-fied Levitating 2,000-Year-Old Man With Really Bad Fingernails... Exploding Building...Exploding Temple... Knife To The Forehead... One Ocean of Chained Skeletons... One Palace Of Golden Buddhas... Poison Gas... Nine Kung Fu Scenes...

Racquelle Welch in One Million BC, another drive in classic, next week on Monstervision

Some Hollywood stunt-men cowboys beat the shit out of each other for a Pontiac "Montana" minivan. Sure, why not?

Soulful 70s singer-songwriter Aflac family insurance ad, family station wagon Tru Value helpful employee kidnapping ad, Home Depot helpful employees..., some bruthas turn a stranger's need for directions into a roadtrip down the road for some McDonalds.... 90s commercials tried to be really feel good, but come off very insipid

"Tired of Phony Psychics?" Generic graphics of lightning strikes and huge yellow background typed letters plus a doe eyed weirdo lady claiming to have certified psychics for her phone network.... "Guaranteed Authentic by the U.S. Govt." HAAAA.... wow! what a claim!

Joe Bob pines about how there aren't perfect women in the world, and how guys give up women over nail color, comparing it to the plot of the movie being about the search for a perfect, green eyed Chinese chick

Then, Joe Bob skewers the politically correct critics, of this movie, who said that Big Trouble re-enforced Asian stereotypes.

Kitschy style Miller Lite commercial where four old ladies try to contact the spirit of one lady's dead husband. He's a slab, of course, and comes back to life, possessing the body of one of her friends, raiding the fridge for beer and scratching his (her) ass. She's overjoyed.

Kellog's Breakfast Mates... A commercial that's basically saying, "Let corporate America continue to "raise" your children." It's convenient.

Joe Bob teaches us about Kurt Russell's ties to Elvis and Disney and John Carpenter

TNT updates its Monstervision website "once a week." Current people and websites, of the internet(s), update every second of the day. Waiting a week for something new is almost as painful as the information (nonsense) overload of right now.

Dennis Miller is in line at a hipster coffe shop complaining about the price of "a cup of Joe" and the price of collect calls. If he sounds like a cranky and out of touch old man here, wait til a decade later where he's rambling incoherently to his best pal Mr.Bill O'Reilly on Fox News.

Two 90s alterna-chicks having a conversation: "One day we'll meet, marry, and have cyber sex with the man of our dreams online." Robert Englud cameo in Dee Snider's Strangeland

Joe Bob points out that there's a "not so incognito" Penthouse Pet in this flick

TNT Mail Girl Reno gets asked to how much it would take to "get nekkid" by Joe Bob, and then he reads an angry letter from an upset liberal who loves freedom so much that he wants to ban free speech that he doesn't like by calling it "hatred." Ha. Joe Bob made a joke about "killing liberals" or something and this guy got his feelings hurt. Boo hoo.

Joe Bob rips TNT a new asshole for taking an awful commercial break, featuring about 14 insipid 90s "feel good" commercials, during the EPIC kung fu finale. Being on TNT, and not too late in the night unlike TNT's 100% Weird, Monstervision suffered some really lame commercials. USA UP All Night usually had more lame B movies instead of good B movies, yet they featured a lot more entertaining and sleazy commercials compared to Monstervision Other, late night basic cable and UHF B movies had better commercials than TNT as well. Fucking TNT. So schmaltzy and sickening. You watch a weird, late night movie, you want weird late night commercials, and you want them not to interrupt the best part of the movie. You don't want a great kung fu scene stopped to have five minutes of sepia toned artsy cinematography of elderly couples slow dancing in the shadow of the Brooklyn bridge while romantic piano music plays and there's a warm feeling about life insurance or some crap.

Roll Credits.*

3 stars for Big Trouble (For fun and memorable characters, it's to the 80s what A New Hope was to the 70s) 3 stars for Joe Bob and 1 star for TNT's bullstuff

---------------------------------------------------------------------

--- Found Footage Fest:

*Caught In The Web, Staying Safe in Cyberspace: Surfin' with a cyber sleuth and stopping smut and sickos both online and in the real world. If any of this is actually real.* close to 3 stars

*Check It Out _ Acne Video: "Hip" teen talk show infomercial about bogus zits.* 2 1/2 stars

*Chef Keith _ Fake Chef Pranks Morning TV Shows: You can make one of those creepy smiling talking head news morning show hosts believe that "The average person eats around a pound and a half of feces a year." HA! Most of the feces comes from morning talks shows.* 3 stars

*Christian Rock Video Showdown: We're all a wiener slash loser with these bands that are a even more soft rock cross between Journey, Foreigner, Kenny Loggins, and a hairy butt.* close to 3 stars

*John and Johnny and Earrings: Homeshopping host is giddy about seashell earrings.* close to 2 stars

--------------------------------

Fargo: The Six Ungraspables *There are no saints in the animal kingdom, only breakfast... lunch.. and dinner.* 3 stars

Gerhard Reinke's America: Gerhard Reinke in Burlington, Vermont *Home of laidback liberals and Lochness lizards.* 2 1/2 stars

Vanity Fair, Confidential: Mad About the Boys *Lou Pearlman loved to hear singing from voices that hadn't yet gone through puberty. He also loved hot air balloons and ponzi schemes. No surprise that the super-rich sponsor of a creepy cult of child entertainers was not-so-secretly a pig-man spawn of Satan himself.* 2 1/2 stars

X Files: Born Again *Mustache'd cop working Chinatown. He gets killed by some shady colleagues. Years later, he returns as a very gloomy little-girl with special powers and vengeance on her(his) mind.* close to 3 stars

The Prisoner: Checkmate *On a wing and a prayer and unfortunately an air of authority.* 3 stars

----- TV Carnage:

*Dr. Drew and MTV Got Cold Feet: Could be worse. Could be dead like Corey Haim and his girlfriend. Killed by Brigette Nielsen, Stallone and Flava Flav's ex.* close to 2 stars

*TV Carnage: Dixie Carter Death Trip: Designing women to be strangely obnoxious.* 2 stars

*Even His Scream Is Bad Acting: Bohunk (Dumb goodlooking American guy. Not the dictionary definition which insults someone from Europe.) slasher victim.* close to 2 1/2 stars

*Give Head Responsibly: Consult your doctor before giving or receiving.* 2 1/2 stars

*God Gives A Second Chance To Anyone. It's In His Book: Especially to those with a Pat Boone singing style and a new book coming out about second chances.* close to 2 1/2 stars

-----------------------------------------

Hannibal: Sorbet *Hannibal has a stalker/fan/wannabe BFF who compares him to Michael Jackson. Meanwhile, Hannibal keeps recipes of people on their business cards.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Look Around You: Music (season 2) *The show's format has completely changed to an in studio info / variety presentation, and while it's no longer the mock science docu-series that it started out as, it's still silly and clever. Plus, it's longer at a half hour.* 2 1/2 stars

Game of Thrones: Season 3 Episode 9 *This show is good and shockingly heavy, as usual, but I watch it in a way that would more than frustrate diehard fans. I'm seasons behind where everyone else is, and I have no concern as to when I see the next chapter.* 3 stars

Shaw Brothers: Executioners from Shaolin *At the heart of this movie is a dysfunctional kung fu family. On the wedding night, the groom can't get the bride's legs open because her crane style is too strong. Mother teaches son crane style kung fu and they playfully use it even when she's trying to wash the family's clothes. Dad can't even sit down to a good meal, because son wants to test dad's tiger style kung fu.* 3 stars

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