UNREAL

i really think having an emotional connection is so important to bakugou sexually.

like, i think he has to be in the exact right mood in order to get off by himself at home alone. can't be too tired, can't be too stressed out, can't have too much on his mind regarding work or other things, and even if it's been a while and his body is sensitive and wanting for it—if his head is not right, he can sit there for hours and never reach his peak.

which is why i think ultimately he doesn't do it that often, because it pisses him off to waste the time and not find the release. makes him more agitated. i think porn for the most part doesn't help him because he's too picky, literature probably helps a bit more, but he's still picky, and his imagination can get him there, but his headspace has to be right.

i think he's slow to hands-on stuff, when your relationship starts, and you can tell he's going to be like that pretty quickly. he responds to your touch like it's an accident; you reach out to hold his hand and he pulls his back like your knuckles have knocked by chance, like you're too close. it's not meant to be a rejection of any kind, it's just—he doesn't want you to touch him if you don't want to. if you don't mean to.

but when he realizes that you mean to, that you want to—

it has him skyrocketing. surprises him terribly, the affect you have on his body, and how quickly, because not even he can always have that affect on his own body.

you reach up to push some hair out of his face and your fingers skirt his cheekbone and he feels like a stupid gross disgusting puddle of mush. you loop your arm through his and lean into him while you're walking and he feels like a prize, like he's yours and you're his and you want everybody to know and that gives him a rush of pride that makes his head woozy.

he's dropping you off at home after date number he-doesn't-know and you're staring up at him outside your front door and he knows he should kiss you so he does and his whole body lights up with a heat he doesn't recognize at all. just from that.

and then he finally gets it: that heart-aching, stomach turning, body shaking want he's only ever heard about, and now finally feels.

jin's september message (feat. taehyung) 💌

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

oh him? he's just a monk. no he doesn't harbor deep desires of greatness don't worry about it

Well, [the Doctor] was devastated. I think Rose had helped him reform himself. I think Rose had influenced who he became when he regenerated into me. I think her influence was very formative for the Doctor, having come out of this terrible war and all of these extraordinarily awful things that he'd been to and been borne witness to. And that she helped him recover, helped him become the man that he re-found. To lose her was devastating, and yet, as it went for the Doctor, kind of inevitable. That's part of that tragedy of that character, that every relationship that he forms with anyone other than a Time Lord—and of course, there were none of them left—was, by its very nature, transient, because he's effectively eternal next to a human being, who might get a hundred years if they're lucky. So that's one of the tragedies of that character that makes him sort of timeless. So yeah, to lose Rose—the woman who'd helped him rebuild who he was, and the woman he almost dared to fall in love with, I think—was devastating for him, and took him a long time to get over. And maybe he never did. He was certainly never quite over it while he was me.

—David Tennant, “Why Losing Rose Was So Devastating On Doctor Who”

day 30: waiting...

milex highlights from the studio brussel interview (x)

dont mind me, just thinking about Chip's consistent motif of drowning and the fact hes the only one not protected by niklaus plot armor. haha super funny that chip met niklaus by accidentally managing to get into his realm after falling asleep and waking up drowning in the ocean. absolutely riveting that the cat-scratch induced nightmare that effected chip the most physically was one where he was pulled into the depths of the water by black tentacles and woke up coughing out saltwater. absolutely incredible that chip's final nightmare lead him to arlin who was at the bottom of the sea. how the monsters in his mind were corrupted black sludge that had painted itself in the visages of his friends and how the moment they crossed into the black sea that nightmare became reality. how he has the highest corruption level in the group currently because of an extra point i CANNOT pinpoint the source of and how his character attribute from the start has been the haunted one. how the black sea took from every person who survived and that perhaps something in chip has been gone from the very beginning. how episode 104 began with a song literally called At The Bottom, sung by chip saying that hes "searching for something i just cant find," "falling down in the hole, you know the trap is set, slowly losing control" "dont come looking for me when it's my turn- dont come looking for me at the bottom." thinks about chip getting dragged into the depths. thinks about how niklaus' only desire for chip was for him to not interfere in some way or another. thinks about a trap laid 10 years before that dragged his ship to the bottom of the sea. thinks about the map that only captain rose could read leading chip to the place that nearly destroyed the black rose pirates entirely. thinks about chip, the growing corruption within his body, and the depths. how all that hes been searching for is there at the bottom. how swimming only delays the inevitable, and then you sink. like. thats awesome. thats so cool. surely all of these things are unrelated

i've been blossoming alone over you and i hear my heart breaking do you hear it too? i could stare at your back all day. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - my 1st digital drawing in literal years! funny how the last one i did back in 2016 was also viktuuri. still not over them and never want to be<3

anyways summer of mutual pining lessgooo!!! compensating for the beach episode we never got to experience and only saw glimpses of in the ED. but i'll take them crumbs ✨

do you. want to talk about body horror with tsams eclipse? cause boy howdy im having thoughts

YES I WOULD LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THAT ACTUALLY!!!!

Eclipse’s entire existence is body horror to me in a way I can’t quite properly convey. He never had his own body, he was always inhabiting someone else’s, and the only time he ever looked like himself when was he was cloaking someone else’s body with the star which hurt him badly.

He’s a direct split of Moon, so when he first woke up, he looked at himself and knew he looked wrong. He heard himself and knew he sounded wrong. And never again from that point forward does he ever get to relish in that feeling of a right body again. He just… gets used to being wrong. He gets used to having a flawed existence.

I had a whole ramble about this in my friend’s discord and I talked about how it probably only amplifies his control issues too, because while it may be one thing to control the people around you and the person you possess, it’s another thing to control how you look I think. Like maybe my “Eclipse can be used as a trans metaphor” is showing here, but I truly don’t think it ever helped him to look at his hands and know they aren’t his.

Like, surely there had to be moments where it occurred to him that he had never lived in a body that was built for him, meant for him, and looked like him. Surely there had to be moments where the feeling of always being the unwelcome other in a body crushed him. Surely he had to think at least once that it would be nice to have a body that is a home rather than a temporary stepping stone to survival.

As far as Eclipse is concerned, all having a body is body horror……..

he's the earth btw

imagine if Sun had light sensitivity and Moon loved light but since it's the only way for them to come out they'd either had to stay in all the time or out and suffer in sensory hell

and what if they fought over being the one in control but not because they want to be but because they don't want the other to suffer so one of them sacrifices himself for the other

at least we have dim lights ig

Cuddly, comfy boys for @sunsyfish for the DinCobb Holiday Gift Exchange 💕

I was cheeky enough to get some inspiration from your art - it's so inspirational in so so many ways, I've been such a huge fan ever since I tumbled into the fandom Q^Q (exhibit A the little hearts all around that make every picture sweeter; and exhibit B Boba and Fennec cameo in the background, because they make the cutest stickers and I love them so much!) I hope you're gonna like it Sun! ^^

I just did some really helpful guided meditation.

A few years ago I had a dream that I met God. I can’t remember all of the details of the dream. I remember everything being bright and warm but also soft. I couldn’t see her face but I know she was female. She asked me if I wanted to hold the universe in my hands. She asked me in a way that was very excited — it reminded me of an excited kid running to show you a frog it found (I remember thinking that was significant. Not something she made. Something she found).

I said yes and she placed the universe in my hands and the galaxies tickled my palms as they swirled. I woke up nearly on the verge of tears with an overwhelming sense of peace and warmth.

That meditation I did just now. Thinking about some of the experiences I’ve had. Dreams. Feelings. I.

I think my god is the Sun.