My gender is 4 years old

...and four days, as of April 15th. This post is a bit late. 😅

Four years ago, all the confusing little puzzle pieces I'd been collecting came together in a genuine eureka! moment and I realized I was transgender. It was exhilarating and terrifying and it undeniably changed my life for the better.

The last few years have felt pretty damn slow and I've had to scramble over a few frustrating obstacles (never changing my name AGAIN, lmao, that was annoying as fuck) but it's all been worth it and now it feels like I'm really making headway.

I started testosterone this past year! I did that! I'm almost 7 months on T now! Currently on a dose of two pumps of gel, which I have only missed applying once in all that time because I was literally sick. The changes are gradual but they are real and they have already brought me so much joy and made me so much happier in my humble flesh prison. 💗

The most anticipated change for me (and for a lot of transmasc folks, I imagine) is my voice, and BOY (heh) am I happy to share this data comparison with you:

[ LEFT: A screenshot from the Voice Pitch Analyzer app, dated November 3rd, 2021. It shows that OP's voice registers fully within the female voice range. RIGHT: Another screenshot from the app, dated April 12th, 2024. This one shows that OP's voice registers mostly between the Androgynous and Male voice ranges. ]

My voice is so different now. It sounds different, it feels different, and in just the last week or so I swear it has gotten a little rougher and raspier and I am LIVING. I could not be happier!!!

...okay, fine, I could be happier lmao.

I'm adjusting to my deeper voice and still learning how to use it in a way I like & that feels best to me, so I'm starting to do some casual at-home voice training again after basically forgetting about the concept completely since 2021. (Whoops.) But I am already so much happier and more content with my voice than I have ever been in my life, so it's only getting better from here, lads. <3

I've also had to go to a lot of appointments and answer a ton of phone calls about said appts recently because I kinda fucked up my eyeball (it's better now, don't worry! and be gentle to your eyes, they are delicate and eye drops are so fucking annoying when you're doing them seven times a day, jfc) and my voice has reached a point where I was a lot more comfortable interacting with strangers and I also didn't notice any surprise or confusion when I introduced myself with a male name! It was kind of amazing.

Also singing is even more fun now. I love love LOVE singing along with a male vocalist and feeling the way my voice kinda rumbles through my chest. 10/10 sensory experience.

Other changes aren't nearly as exciting or obvious as my voice, but here's a quick (?) rundown, for those who are curious:

Mood — Gotta be honest, I don't think I've really noticed any significant change in my day-to-day mood, though I may not be the best judge for this because I have trouble figuring out what/how I'm feeling in general, tbh. But I think I have certainly gotten more comfortable and content with myself and I'd even go so far as to say I feel a little more confident these days. It's nice, I appreciate it.

Acne — I definitely noticed a change in how my acne presents itself on my face. I wouldn't say it's worse than before (I've had very bad acne since I was a young teenager and only got medication for it like, last year which has helped immensely) but I think it's different. More little red spots and roughness than the unpleasant and painful pimples I'm used to. I don't even mind it, really. Oddly affirming.

Facial Hair — I've got facial hair. I really do!!! Not clickbait!!! It's not much, not enough for me to be brave and take my dad up on his offer of shaving lessons quite yet, but it has grown in enough that I don't feel silly including it in self portraits! 🤭🧔🏻 Got a little bit of a mustache happening, a little bit at the sides of my face, some fuzz on my chin (with one LONG hair that I can only assume has been greedy and stealing his brothers' growth), and a frankly surprising lil patch of hair under my jaw. On a semi-related note, not sure if my brows have gotten much darker/thicker. They might have? idk.

my new discord icon, hehe... 👁💜🪓

Body Hair — I have gotten a little more hair on my forearms, and it may have gotten a little darker too! I have a tattoo on my arm just below my left wrist and it's been surprisingly helpful for measuring arm hair growth because for years my tattoo was not covered by hair at all but the left side of it's a little fuzzy now... 😏 I've gotten more noticeable hair growth on my upper arms, which were basically hairless before (free gender euphoria every time I put on my T) and on my thighs. Don't think my lower legs have gotten much hairier, and I'm a little impatient about it lmao. I want to get hairy enough to rival my brother.

Energy/Appetite — Can't say I've really noticed any differences here? I am not a very active person and I already struggled with appetite and getting myself to eat before I started T (thank you adhd & poor eating habits 🥲💀), so I can't quite tell if I'm ignoring more hunger signals than usual. 😅 I am hoping to get more active and start doing more physical activity now that it's starting to get warmer outside again, so hopefully that will help me see these sorts of changes and also get me into some better eating habits as I expend more energy and work up a proper appetite! (Also, since we're on the topic... a reminder for all of us that taking care of yourself and feeding the body you live in is a million times more important than aesthetics and numbers on a scale. ❤)

Menstruation — I am still getting my period right on schedule, but I am happy to say it is considerably lighter than it was before I started testosterone! My period has begun getting shorter, too. It lasted for roughly 7–9 days before, but I was bleeding for exactly 7 days last month, and only 6 days this month. I'm not sure if this trend will continue at such a dramatic rate, but if my next round is only 5 days I will be very excited about it, lol. My uterus can retire any day now, please...

Bottom Growth — if any of my friends read this part, don't speak to me about it lmao — Yeah... there's a little bit of something happening down there. Not a lot, and I haven't really noticed any pain or sensitivity, but there's a Difference. Aaaaand I like it. 😌 I am looking forward to any and all future developments. 😏👉🏻👉🏻

Okay! I think that's it, really.

I know I haven't been super active on this blog for quite a while now (I have really gotten into fandom blogging on my main lmao, and also discord is my favorite thing right now, it's where 90% of my friends live) so I hope this nice, long, ramble-y post makes up for that a little bit. <3

Not gonna make any promises that I'll post here more often, but y'know. I might. It could happen. Definitely not leaving this blog to sit and gather dust, that's for sure. I'll still be reblogging stuff semi-frequently, even if I'm not writing up my own posts.

So goodbye for now, and thanks for tuning in! 👋🏻📻💖💙✨️

Tysm for the tags @monacobasedgirldad @schumigrace @fernandoalonzoo sry im a bit late getting to this lol

Are you named after anyone?

My great great grandmother(I think??), though she was named Katarzyna, and I was born Catherine, but go by Catie obviously(this lowkey annoys my mom lmao, especially bcs if I were to have a nickname, it was supposed to be Cate.)

When was the last time you cried?

Today, over classical music. I think I cry at least once a day 😭 I am very emotional

Do you have kids?

Nope :)

What sports did you play/have you played?

I played soccer when I was a kid. Also does marching band count?

Do you use sarcasm?

All the fucking time, literally constantly. And also we sarcastically bully each other in my family, so I have to pull myself back from accidentally insulting people 😭

What is the first thing you notice about people?

Hmmmm, I feel like ive done this tag game before bcs I remember writing this exact answer. But usually I notice if someone is a good conversationalist or not. Like do they like to lead the convo, do they like to listen to the other people, do they talk too much, too little, are they awkward about it? It's just very interesting to me, bcs I think that kinda thing really does instantly show you if you're going to be compatible with a person(as a friend or more etc.) Cause I talk a lot a lot, and I think it's difficult to get along w people who are untalkative but also people who talk an equal amnt if not more djkfkglg.

What is your eye color?

Just brown!

Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies definitely. I mean im not opposed to a happy ending obviously, but that's not really what im always looking for in a movie, I guess? Rn I'm trying to think of my top movies, and man, not a lot of them have happy endings 😭 But I literally just watched two horror movies the past wknd so! Even though they make me paranoid

Any talents?

I think I could go on a rant about anything if you gave me a bit of time. I really think I can just talk endlessly. Is that a skill? Or is it just annoying..? But yeah I'm not sure, but I think I'm pretty good at absorbing information and being able to go on and on about it.

Where were you born?

America rahhh 🦅🦅 I like my state a lot even though I feel like all my peers keep saying "ugh I don't want to be in [insert state] anymore" Smh how dare you

What are your hobbies?

Mostly drawing! I draw both F1 fanart(pretty much all selfmade AUs tho) and ocs. I like writing lore and worldbuilding and meta, but not really writing itself. I like reading fic and watching movies as well. And I think one of the main things I do these days tbh is read about history and keep up with politics. I get more and more involved with it as the days go by, but unlike drawing, I don't really have an outlet for it sigh sigh. So that's why a lot of AUs involve history and random other things, bcs its fun to involve my interests with each other!

Do you have any pets?

Yes I do! Two cats and two dogs. The cats are named Jin and Frank. Jin is basically me in cat form, he's so anxious 😭 and Frank is like my brother, he's such a little bastard who loves to hiss all the time. My dogs are named Maisie and Ruby. Maisie is a menace to society, but she is also the most beautiful dog ever, so I forgive her. Her name makes me laugh bcs she's named after this book character, Maisie Dobbs right? So her name tag says Maisie Doggs

How tall are you?

Around 5'4

Favorite subject at school?

Politics >:) But I'm pretty interested in philosophy as well rn. Unfortunately my love for foreign languages has been slipping in the semester or so, bcs my professors on that side kinda suck. So I've been putting more energy into my other major, and now all I can talk about is history, politics and philosophy, etc etc. It's just a lot of fun and very interesting to me!

Dream job?

Man, sometimes I wish I could just be a student forever, I just want to keep learning all about the world and other things. But I'd like a job that's not too static, something that pushes me out into the world a bit, maybe smth in the government or like a non-profit idk yet!

Ahhhh I'm doing this a bit late so I'm not sure who's done it yet, I feel like mostly everyone has :,) I tag anyone who's interested, like seriously I'd love to see people's answers who I haven't yet!!

i used to like steddie but tbh its just boring now. everyone writes the same tropes and now there's a/b/o flooding the tag and like fine whatever but it's just so boring. not to mention most fics are so out of character...and don't get me started on how they treat robin, she's completely sidelined it's annoying. they make steve this feminized uwu babygirl and robin into a mean lesbian that contantly berates hi its disgusting!

I'm ngl. Same. Ste/ddie is what got me into the fandom! I still really like the characters a lot but the way fandom has been handling them is just not my thing lol. I like both my Steve and my Eddie a little mean and rough around the edges but carrying and that's just... not what I am seeing at all lol. The fandom trends in this ship have been absolutely wild. Like I said last night, the fic that we were getting in October/November of last year is soooo different from the fic we are getting now.

I miss early days Ste/ddie, the relationship just felt much more balanced? Like both sides brought things to the table? But yeah, I'll admit I've gotten pretty bored with it too. I have a fic or two in my wips folders that I still want to write that have Ste/ddie in them, but I've sort of hit my limit with fandom consumption of it lol.

Omegaverse stuff can be fun on occasion but I'll admit aside from one or two fics I've seen so far, I don't super vibe with it. (Where is my alpha/alpha and omega/omega content!!) Omegaverse has always been a "my hormones are out of whack" fic time for me lmao. But this is one of those things I don't think is ST exclusive, a lot of fandoms I'm in have seen an influx of omegaverse and mpreg lately. I didn't even notice at first because Star Wars fandom is always a mess of kink, but it's legit everywhere now.

Gods yeah, the babygirl Steve was fun at first, I love me a pretty boy. (Anakin Skywalker fan here lmaooo) but yeah it's been taken to an extreme that feels less like oh this is just a little sexy thing on occasion or "yeah gender exploration!" thing, and more either fetishizing or heteronormativity. Like I was talking about yesterday I swear some people write tradwife Steve which is just wild to me. Love househusband Steve but tradwife Steve?? Where am I??

And yeah, even back when I liked the fanon characterization better, Robin so often got sidelined. Literally only there to be a supportive best friend without her own plot or to help further drive Steve into Eddie's arms, which is sad! This show is about friendship first and foremost and it feels like fandom doesn't appreciate that anymore.

(I will be fair though, pushing aside the best friend for the sake of romance is a tried and true shipping thing across many fandoms, but it did feel startling when so many post s3 fics about either of Stobin were about their friendship, and it just kind of all got taken over by shipping fics in s4.)

Like idk, I will say I still like the ship and Eddie but the fandom has definitely exhausted me a bit lol.

4, 7 & 24 for the 🔥🔥 asks!

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

Tbh I don't have a last straw anymore. I use and abuse the block button liberally. If I see an annoying opinion, I block. Sometimes, I don't even finish reading the post because you usually can tell it's rancid from the first 2 lines.

I've blocked half a fandom at this point bc of the constant negativity. I simply don't care anymore. I'm here to have fun. If you take personal offense to that then that's your problem not mine.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Alngksgnw as you're said hate IS a strong word and I don't hate characters really unless there is a good reason for me to hate them.

So when I say I began to dislike Dorian Pavus after seeing how the fandom acted towards him, I don't hate him. I guess I do find him fascinating and relatable to an extent but I also don't think he's written perfectly as some people act like he is. Revisiting Dorian's quest as an adult with a fully developed brain and way more comfortable about my own queerness made me realize that I dislike how Dorian didn't really have agency whether to reconcile with his father or not. I know it's the point of The game to have a choice but Idk a bit more dialogue about the choice could've easily solved that problem for me.

I also have issues with Dorian's Indian coding lmao and have since felt like I was duped. It just feels like a cop-out? Like Gaider and team knew about the complaints people have about his comments wrt Asians in Thedas so they made him Asian—only mentioning it in a forum post or Twitter I think 🫠 so to this day ive seen people still surprised that he's Asian—without considering how to code him as Indian in the game.

Things like his clothing having some influences from the cultures in India or family structures and mannerisms. I mean it could be as simple as Indian coding the people of Quarinus so you don't just have this one Indian coded family in the entirety of Thedas. The Alexiuses could've also been Indian coded.

(An aside there's more layers to this like the unfortunate implications of coding a group of people who own slaves as poc but I could write a whole post about Dragon Age's attempts of trying to put Asians in this game)

Anyway, that's canon lol. Fandom makes this all worse. I could just point at the Orientalist depictions of Dorian in fanart and just end it here but nope it goes deeper. Somehow, Dorian attracted the worst kind of fandom. Like the Solas and Cullen stans maybe louder but I was there Gandalf. I was in the trenches. People were forming cliques around this one BNF and their friends. I was in the clique and it was all good until Tresspasser dropped.

You see this clique hated that Tresspasser ended with Dorian and the Inquisitor being in an LDR—because Dorian was off trying to fix a country—to the point where some of them acted like they broke up. Hello? Okay 1) That is such a poor reading on long distance relationships 2) Dorian...got a phone crystal for the Inquisitor, u know a tech that didn't exist in Thedas so they can stay in touch.

It also isn't enough that they didn't like it. Others have to Not like it as well. I remember talking to the BNF about my Inquisitor and Dorian, how they stayed in touch as Dorian was y'know trying to fix a country and the BNF told me that it was a depressing situation for my Inquisitor and Dorian...even though it isn't and they're perfectly happy.

(An side, not from this clique but I wouldnt be surprised if some of them also held this opinion but I saw some accusations from folks that Bioware is homophobic because Dorian and the Inquisitor are in an LDR. This is how batshit this fandom is).

Anyway, to keep it short, I was 19-20 when all of this happened. I probably said some stupid shit around that time but I should tell you these people were in their late 20s to early 30s. They were affected by a 19-20 year old with just a handful of followers saying stupid shit. They were so affected by the barely adult saying stupid shit that one of them stalked me, vagueposted about me and when I found out they were vagueposting about me, proceeded to gaslight me and told me I was the one stalking them. :)

Not only that, they also harassed one of my friends to not posting their fics ever again, harrassed a friend of a friend for trying to steal the BNF's spotlight 🙄. Come on some of you have fucking children.

I don't think I could look at Dorian in the same way which is a shame because for a time he was important to me but like God, it was rough.

I also have not forgotten nor forgave :) hence why I have the studio behind that chorus game or whatever it's called now blocked :) and would not be playing it. Do not care if David Gaider is the one writing it. I mean he kinda was the weakest link in that writing team imo (and I also hate his prose).

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

Very cliche but anything to do with the mages and templars

I accidentally deleted the more coherent ask so this is me trying to frantically remember what it said adjhgsj sorry in advance, I'm going to be unbearable abt Dan Feng for a bit <3

Dan Feng sounds like a hilarious clusterfuck. Dan Heng being screwed over by his actions being a purely backstory event kind of sucks, honestly.

It'd also have the nice bonus of introducing the hcq and why exactly you should care about them much more naturally, bc honestly if well executed their story could have made me cry lol I'm an easy crier. the way they did it just doesn't hit as hard as it should.

But Yes!! Dan Feng was SUCH a molotov cocktail of a person, it really is amazing. Identity issues electric bugaloo (with bonus body dysphoria and hallucinations!) + powers that make him dissociate the f out + trying desperately to ground himself by thinking abt his friends + the fact that in all his appearances he's ALWAYS with this permafrozen resting bitch expression. So when I read DH•IL's dreams of what Dan Feng was like as a person I immediately went "oh god the resting bitch face is a lie he's a fucking MESS" which was fun lmao. Sir that's not a dignified high elder that's millennia of trauma stuffed in knee-high boots and cool gloves

ALL THAT and it's mind-boggling that they just. poke it vaguely with a stick on-screen when there's all that cool stuff in the promos and stories?? "In different people's minds Dan Feng may have been an avatar of Long the dragon, a hero, or an immense evil, but never a person with feelings and emotions." that's great buddy how about you now SAY IT ON SCREEN. It even ties into his character story abt DF struggling to feel emotions through the dragon god mindset! It'd have been so easy!! ughh. I know this is a genshin staple, but belobog was rlly good at bringing up everyone's backstory in the quests so I thought hsr would be different :( here's hoping for penacony

Tbh XL's greatest sin is, imo, always focusing on the exact wrong thing. The High Cloud Quintet isn't explained until way after the fact, we learn what Dan Feng did too late and why that mattered too late… BLADE… etc. etc. We did get a lot of focus on the Hunt vs the Abundance, but I kinda wish Dan Feng's sin had been tied into that more solidly than it was

I've been thinking a lot abt how I'd do it, bc I'd also want to do the DF vs DH fight ichor of two dragons style, but trying to put it in Dan Heng realising that the narrative abt DF that he was taught is a lie at the same time he's trying to establish himself as his own person could muddy it up a bit... but it Would have to be at the story's climax...hmmmm. How would you do it?

According to the judges DF craved the power of abundance but I have a hard time believing them when they fed so much bullshit to poor Dan Heng like

Dan Heng: I was initially kept in the Shackling Prison after reincarnating, and received a thorough education on that person's life and crimes. According to the judges, Dan Feng craved the power of abundance and created abominations, therefore as his reincarnation, I had to bear his punishment. As for what kind of person he really was... to be honest with you, I can't be certain either.

According to Vidyadhara custom and the agreement made with Caelorum Venti Dan Heng was SUPPOSED to leave Dan Feng's sin behind w his reincarnation, so excuse me if I give a side-eye to the rest of what they say lmfao. So much hope for more luofu so we can go and punch the dragon-elf elders instead..

I had SO much fun in the Arlan-Asta quest, Herta being the annoying boss caught me completely by surprise even though it rlly shouldn't have jshgdjs

*squints* it's a stupid hour and I just came from a writing binge and 24 hours w no sleep so hopefully this is coherent lol, I probably got some of the lore wrong. Your long asks are always so nice and clear how do you do it?

Haha np, I delete responses to asks and whole entire posts by accident all the time…. (clicky back button on the side of my mouse my beloathed)

It'd also have the nice bonus of introducing the hcq and why exactly you should care about them much more naturally, bc honestly if well executed their story could have made me cry lol I'm an easy crier. the way they did it just doesn't hit as hard as it should.

I think what gets me is, like. It would've been easy enough to do it? It's beyond me why Blade never just… attacked Dan Heng prior to their team-up. It would've been a good way to establish his beef with DH AND, if Kafka's present, that she a) has hypnotism powers and b) uses them to control Blade outside of … that one scene where he just quietly sits in a room and Kafka promises she's doing something interesting. Also like. The effects mara can have on someone outside of Blade and Jingliu promising they're definitely affected and having ~scary eyes in their Ults.

And obviously, I get that whatever Luocha was doing was a set-up for later, but having Jingliu show up just to go to prison… that's four separate factions each with one of the HCQ and most of them with different goals. You'd THINK that would be A Thing? A big dramatic showdown? The four can meet up again afterwards to get drinks because despite everything they're still friends?

Genshin has poisoned me against reading character bios if I can help it (just look how annoyed I got after reading DH and Blade's!) so I hadn't read DH:IL's until just now, but… you're so right lmao??? How come the most I ever learnt about Dan Feng was from Jingliu's melancholic loredump? The elder ghosts bitch about him, sure, but?? On-screen drama?? That one trailer?? Did HYV think that supplemental material was enough to avoid writing the hard part???

(Unironically I think that's it. The Herta Space Station and Belobog were VERY simple. Stuff like Blade and DH are much harder to get right so, characteristic of HYV's writing over in Genshin, they've avoided it as much as possible by relegating it to trailer animations, bios and Jingliu's lore dump.)

I've been thinking a lot abt how I'd do it, bc I'd also want to do the DF vs DH fight ichor of two dragons style, but trying to put it in Dan Heng realising that the narrative abt DF that he was taught is a lie at the same time he's trying to establish himself as his own person could muddy it up a bit… but it Would have to be at the story's climax…hmmmm. How would you do it?

Complicated question. Running on the assumption that we are returning to the Luofu, or at least will be dealing with Luofu-based characters again at a later point in the story, you probably don't WANT to have wrapped up too much of Dan Heng's potential growth by the third world, right?

So if anything, I'd want him to be more unsure of himself prior to canon so that you can get more development (and types of interactions with others he used to know) out of him during the actual game. Assuming that you will return to the Luofu later, or at least run into most of those characters again (based on the alliance with XL and Trailblazer not having The Hunt yet), I'd probably base it like this:

1) Pre-canon: Dan Heng genuinely isn't sure who he is or how to feel about what he knows of his past. He's pretty sure he's meant to be his own person, but he was never treated that way, lived his life on the Luofu in Dan Feng's shadow and, most damningly, has flashes of Dan Feng's memories every now and then but has no context for what they mean. Also Blade seems pretty sure. And as you say - the High Elders still holding him responsible for Dan Feng's actions, alleged or otherwise, may have caused some damage. He's only one of the Nameless to get away from Blade/his past, basically.

2) First visit to Luofu: Dan Heng learns exactly who Dan Feng was, what he did/why and meets the High Cloud Quintet. You should be able to use Blade and Jing Yuan at the very least to get some Identity Drama and add more stakes to figuring out DF's deal outside of Dan Heng's own feelings. Doesn't necessarily come to a conclusion but is more informed. Meet Bailu etc.

3) Second visit to Luofu: Ichor of the Two Dragons goes here as the climax of some plot where Dan Heng definitively rejects Dan Feng and affirms his own identity. Spending time on the Express helped him figure out who he was/what he wanted and such. Dan Heng cleans up what he can and moves on from the Luofu. He stays on the Express because he loves the crew/for his own reasons, not just to run from his past, something like that.

I think you could pace out other characters' development connected to DH along these stages as well - particularly Blade and Bailu. The result of 3) should be Blade absolutely losing it once he realises Dan Feng really is dead (and whatever that might mean for him which then leads into Dan Heng having to resolve THAT situation in a Dan Heng-way (not necessarily on the Luofu, but around or afterwards), as well as wrapping up Bailu's storyline (which hopefully involves punching some elderly dragon-elves).

It'd also be fun to have a window of time to squeeze a little tension out of March 7th and Dan Heng - because, like, as far as March who wants to know who she was is concerned, a whole world that knows all about Dan Feng AND a bunch of DF's old friends and acquaintances being able to fill in the blanks… that's the dream for her, right? Meanwhile for Dan Heng this is all one big turbo nightmare and he'd be much happier with a clean break and no need to ever come back. Maybe there's some jealousy on both sides there. Trailblazer awkward go-between.

I had SO much fun in the Arlan-Asta quest, Herta being the annoying boss caught me completely by surprise even though it rlly shouldn't have jshgdjs

RIGHT??? For some reason I thought Arlan was having trouble saying no to PEPPY (dog too cute, can't refuse giving peppy too many treats) but then. Herta. OBVIOUSLY

squints it's a stupid hour and I just came from a writing binge and 24 hours w no sleep so hopefully this is coherent lol, I probably got some of the lore wrong. Your long asks are always so nice and clear how do you do it?

Hopefully you got some sleep!!! And uh. I don't know. I naturally ramble a lot and have to trim myself down. My response to how I'd handle DH up there is my third draft and the original was several much longer paragraphs. I'm trying to work on readability… I still need to get better at it, but glad it's helping!(?)

Were you a Sex in the City fan? I do feel like a show for the girls that are in the early to mid late 20s trying to figure it out. Is kind of missing in the market currently. Anyways if you’ve seen it there was a reboot with a whole new cast. What would your fan cast look like?

I actually watched Sex and the City in its entirety for the first time during the lockdowns, anon! While there are definitely parts of it that have aged badly and is very deserving of criticism, there's a lot that's aged surprisingly well too, and even as a first time viewer, I could see why it was the pop culture juggernaut it was. I really enjoyed watching it! Although maybe not enough to watch And Just Like That, haha (after all, what is Sex and the City without all four women?)

It really does feel like there's a bit of a gap these days in TV when it comes to mid-late 20s/early 30s women figuring life out. I feel like the closest we've had for a while was Broad City and The Bold Type, but even those have both been finished for a while, and are decidedly their own animals in focus, tone and style. While I liked it a lot too, I'd also say that The Bold Type never fully knew where it wanted to sit in terms of audience which really shaped a lot of the components of the story.

But yes! A Sex and the City reboot! I love it when you guys ask me to fancast stuff, haha.

Okay, let's start with Carrie:

I hadn't seen Ashley Park in anything until a few months ago, and have since had the triple hit of seeing her in Joy Ride, Beef and now the new season of Only Murders in the Building, and I just think she's so great. She's so, so charming and funny and I think really nails that complicated mix of high strung but also kind of loose and flirty that Sarah Jessica Parker nailed in Sex and the City. I think she could bring so much to Carrie and add after Joy Ride in particular, I'd love to see her lead something again.

Miranda's kind of a tricky one in some ways - you need someone who can find that middle ground between snark and genuine vulnerability, and I think that's really an area Ritu shines in between The Umbrella Academy and Polite Society. Plus she's delightfully watchable, and I think a role like Miranda could really stretch her skills (especially because I don't think Polite Society let her actually do all that much).

Fun fact: Charlotte's lowkey my fave from Sex and the City. I know a lot of people find her annoying, but I actually think she had one of the most fulfilling arcs on the show (I'm a bit of a sucker for characters who get what they want only to realise it's not what they need), and she also reminds me of a close childhood friend who I don't see as often as I want because we live on opposite ends of the country, haha. I looooved Charithra in Bridgerton, and I think she plays naivety without ignorance, and that sweetness without being saccharine really well. Plus I think she could be a really good balancer between Ashley and Ritu.

Okay okay okay, hear me out: Samantha is supposed to be older than the other girls, and one of the things I think is so ingenious about the original casting of Samantha is how they cast an actress who was basically a jobbing actress who'd worked across TV and genre movies for decades but became famous / a sex symbol for a few roles across raunch comedies. While Jessica doesn't quite have a Porky's on her resume, she comes from a similar background of tv, low budget horror, and a few meatier roles that show she can really act, and I've always had a soft spot for her, and tbh, I think she'd kill it.

The guys aren't as fun, haha, but mmm, I kind of like the thought of John Cho for Mr Big? An older guy with the right amount of suave that you can believe Ashley Park would be on the hook for, and maybe someone like Anthony Ramos for Aidan? I'm less sure about them, haha.

god i felt that headcanon post in my soul. ngl the main reason i chose to back away from the rise fandom (tho i'm referring to now, i dipped into it from time to time back when the show was still airing on nick) is bc of the fans' flight or fight reactions if you don't always agree w/ them, and/or if you have different hc's and opinions generally, that would range from 'eh doesn't sound interesting' to 'no, here's where you're wrong'.

i was interacting with some of the fandom for almost a month and a lot of them gave me, along w/ other pre-movie fans, so much crap for hcs n preferences like 'i hc donnie's eye's the same colors as his googles' 'i believe leo's the second oldest' 'i think raph should stay as leader and have leo be second in command/co-leader' ect.

the worse part is that this is mostly with the newer, younger fans that came after either the movie trailer or movie in general came out (sort of a baby's first fandom ordeal). like yeah there were obv bad eggs but i remembered the fandom being generally chill with each other back then, same with the general tmnt fandom tbh, now it just feels like any other fandom 😞

((been wanting to get this off my chest for the longest time now ^^;;))

In part this is why Im not to much into Rise fandom I mean the drama over Leo/sagi alone but yeah it is for sure an issue I see with fandom as of late the new fandom is just not as accepting of things as simple as don't like don't look. They dont seem to understand not everyone is going to share thier thought as well or that some people may headcannon something other than they do for whatever reason. It's a big shift from what I'm used to myself but I've always stuck more into smaller areas of fandoms but as of late i tend to enjoy older shows and such more.

because many of these fans tend to skip to what is current they may dip into older stuff and some have looked into other tmnt series. Not many others have. I have noticed how vocal they can be for headcannons and such and ya knows it's fine to have your headcannon but wanna know what is also fun? sharing and seeing others?

I always love seeing other peoples reason for why they may see something for a charater. Best example i got atm is my friend states Casey anger being more cold over how often anger is related to fire. And I love that because it fits so well for him. I find it a bit silly how protective over certien things people can get like the turtles eye colors alone. Sadly I was keeping away from tmnt when rise came out I was one of the fans who didn't watch it till far later just before the movie so i'm not sure how it was then I know it's not all bad but some cricles can be but that is fandom over all. Thoguh I'm old and I just notice that this part of fandoms may be small but are awfully loud. This is why I keep to smaller corners or older shows. Like 2003 and 2012. Im a tad obsessed with Fast Forward ATM just cause i've been re watching it lol. It's annoying for sure, and it can damper the mood when fans just can't be chill with each other.

Couple hours late but here’s aro questions for you

2. 4. 5. 9. 15. 16. 25. 27. 32. 35. 38. 44. 45. 50. aaaand 53. :] enjoy

Oh my gosh so many!many!! YES yes I love oversharing and talking about aro stuff ty so much for giving me the opportunity and don't worry about it ^-^!

2. How would you describe your identity?

I'm pretty happy and content with the label of aroace agender to describe myself! Really I'm just vibing and gender is a mystery to me so that's just part of my identity now lmao

4. Are you romance favorable, neutral, or repulsed?

Oof, this one is slightly complicated but I would say I lean slightly more on the repulsed side as I just can't see myself ever being in a straight up romantic relationship and tbh, I don't want to SJSJSJ

5. What kind of attraction do you feel?

PLATONIC!! PLATONIC, with a little dash of queer platonic to spice things up but im a big old sucker for platonic affection and love over literally any over kind of love lmao. Call me your friend or just friend terms and I'll be falling over myself

9. What made you realize you were aspec/arospec?

Okay so, funny story about that, I unironically figured out that I was aro thanks to techno. I found it out cause I kept reading queer platonic em duo stuff and every time techno talked about his love for philza but zero romance attached to it I was just like....... Oh....... another thing is that weirdly the dsmp fandom is just the only one that I've ever seen actual aspec rep IN the fandom content itself

15. What made you realize you wanted a queer platonic relationship?

I think the one thing I do like in the idea of romance is the loyalty and commitment attached to it which is how I began wanting a queer platonic relationship. That type of love that feels like home but without the romantic expectation and just creating your own definition of love with your partner is the dream for me :]

16. What confuses you about typical romantic relationships?

So many things you have absolutely no idea. I've never really understood the whole physical longing thing and having someone take up all of your thoughts and decisions to a worrying degree. I've never got wanting to act in an idealized way so that your crush might like you cause what's the point? I've never got how love confessions are this big relationship changing thing cause I just don't care and never thought of romantic love as a concern. Grade school was hell man SJSJSJ

25. Are you good at flirting? Do you flirt often?

I don't really think I flirt?? Idk if compliments can be seen as flirting as I love being nice and complimenting people but I, don't think that's flirting?? Im hopeless at this whole flirting thing just throw me to the curb

27. Do you enjoy seeing romance irl/online/in media/etc.?

Irl it's kinda impossible to avoid romance so I've just gotten really good at ignoring it in that context! But in media and online? I'll fully admit that my romance repulsion comes out really hard and I don't like seeing or reading romantic content if I can help it. God the amount of blocked shipping tags that I have in my filters SJSJJS

32. Come up with the stupidest way to ask someone out, right now!

Hey baby wanna find out how I can make this heat wave even worse?

(was that good? I have absolutely no fucking idea SJSJSJS)

35. Do you enjoy valentine's day?

For the sweets and chocolates? Yes, for the romance? Oh god no, I always end up staying completely offline for that entire day cause I get so annoyed that it's just better for me to play video games or something sjsjsj I do enjoy the red, white, and pink aesthetic though, it's cute! ^-^

38. How many arospecs do you know irl/online?

Fun fact! My wife is actually on the aro spectrum herself! :DD I love her so much she found out she was aro a bit after me and its been great lmao. All in all I believe I only know two aro people overall? Which is a crime I need to make more aro friends but making friends is so hard sjsjsj

44. Do you have an aro ring? Do you want one?

I don't have one yet but I've been thinking about getting one! :D it's just a really pretty and lovely idea so I genuinely might do it, that is if my brain allows me to wear a ring lol

45. Do you have an ace ring? Do you want one?

Gonna get both so I can give the simultaneous finger to both sex and romance SHSHSJ

50. Any arospec headcanons

YES, LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Loz wise I strongly believe oot link and hyrule warriors link to be on the aro spectrum!! ^-^ I mean, oot link literally ignored a whole ass marriage proposal so hard that I half believe the fact Ruto was interested didn't even REGISTER. hw link is so extremely funny to me cause the IDEA of him being aro and being chased by an evil sorceress is the embodiment of my poor aro meow meow. He didn't ask for this, he didn't want it, he doesn't even understand what's the big deal about romance WHY is she destroying REALITY FOR IT!!!

53. What is the best part about being aro?

The relief of knowing that I don't have to force myself to find or force myself to pretend that I feel romantic love. The relief that I can be my genuine self and be happy in the different forms of love that bring me happiness instead of what society expects of me. The fact that I have a name to explain what I've been experiencing my entire life and the fact that people reflect my thoughts have brought me more comfort than you can imagine. It's the relief of knowing I don't have to act or sell myself for a nonexistent partner and instead pursue the queer love that I've always dreamed of. It's the fascination of exploring the very foundation of love and how I interpret it by having a complete absence of romantic love but so much love for other things. For me being aro is comfort, acceptance, and living with the fact that you are not lesser for not experiencing something that a large amount of people, it's finding happiness in that absence as it allows you to instead fill that space with what you choose to love. It's carving out a little space for that queer love whenever it arrives and it fits perfectly within all the other things you've given love to, so much so that you never even think of how you may be different or may never experience something that everyone else cause you're so incredibly happy with what you have! That you could never think or want anything else, that's what being aro is for me and I've been much happier with my identity ever since I realized that ^-^

41.

1~ What quality do you value most highly in others?

Definitely stuff like emotional intelligence and warmth because I struggle with this stuff myself. I have a very hard time connecting with people on that level and when I see someone do it so effortlessly (and genuinely), I'm always really impressed.

2~ Are you more aggressive or mellow?

Mellow. I'm very conflict-avoidant.

3~ Who has made the biggest sacrifice for you?

My parents, surely.

4~ Do you take any vitamins or medication?

Not really regularly, no.

5~ Do you want to grow old with someone?

Yes, with my best friend. I want us to stay like this forever. I don't care about growing old with a partner though, I don't think such a thing is for me at all.

6~ Do you treat others better or worse than yourself and why?

I think I treat others better because I'm one hell of a people pleaser sometimes, always worried that others might drop me if I don't try my best. But I can't technically drop myself, so...

7~ What sound is annoying you right now?

Nothing's really annoying me right now.

8~ Where was your last vacation to?

Transylvania, Dracula's castle.

9~ Where was your last car ride to?

To a restaurant earlier in the afternoon, we went for a family lunch.

10~ Where did you last walk to?

Uhh, upstairs to my bedroom.

11~ What gives you a peaceful feeling?

Driving down an empty straight road at night when there are barely any cars and no people on the streets. Only me, my music, and city lights.

12~ Are you a light sleeper?

So-so, it used to be worse.

13~ When you sleep next to someone who usually falls asleep first?

Usually the other person does, just because it takes me forever to fall asleep unless I'm really exhausted.

14~ How many people have a piece of your heart?

I don't know, a couple.

15~ What do your salt and pepper shakers look like?

We don't keep salt and pepper in shakers.

16~ When was the last time you hurt yourself?

I don’t remember.

**continued from who knows when :D**

17~ Would you rather live in the city, suburbs or the country?

I'm a city person, or at the very least suburbs. I grew up in a small town and can't imagine ever returning to one for good--not while I'm young anyway. There's really nothing to do there and every day looks exactly the same. I need some vibrancy, some activity, otherwise I feel like I'm suffocating.

18~ Have you ever built something?

Yes, houses in Sims.

19~ Are you more of a maker and giver, or a taker and user?

A little bit of both, I think.

20~ Do you take naps?

Not normally, unless I pull an all-nighter. I function on very few hours of sleep without much difficulty.

21~ Do you buy holiday gifts early or at the last minute?

Lol I never do anything early, it's something I've been struggling for years. Everything's always last minute.

22~ Do you laugh when there is no joke and dance when there is no music?

I'm sure it has happened before?

23~ If someone else were to describe you what would you hope they would say?

That I'm a meaningful person in their life who is fun and easy to talk to. I never feel like any of this is true, so of course, it would be nice to hear it from someone else. I might not really believe it, but still.

24~ What is the dirtiest habit you can think of?

Hmmmmmm nothing comes to mind right now.

25~ Do you ever need ‘quiet time’?

Yeah, and I get plenty of it, working from home and all. Thing is, I need quiet time for myself, which is something I haven't had much of lately. Like, it's quiet, but there's always 50 billion things to do. I hate adulthood ;-;

26~ Do you think it is harder for a parent to outlive their child or for the child to outlive their parent?

Probably the former, though I feel a pit in my stomach whenever I imagine my parents not being around.

27~ What was your best find from a flea market, garage sale, ebay or thrift?

Well I have been to flea markets before, but tbh I don't remember at all.

28~ What is one selfish thing you tend to do?

Eat the entire chocolate instead of leaving half for my sister when she's not at home.

29~ What kinds of people do you find intimidating?

Tbh, no one in particular. Like, people who really have their shit together can be a little unsettling, but then again, I probably come across like that to some people too and that's not the case at all.

30~ Out of everyone you know who has the most unique personality?

Chris hands down. I like to befriend unconventional people, but Chris is just, I don't know where to begin to describe his personality. Sometimes it feels like he genuinely just came to visit from Mars.

31~ When do you do your best thinking?

In the shower. Running water of any kind inspires me.

32~ What was a choice that you didn’t want to make but you had to?

Well, shutting out a certain someone from my life. It was a very hard choice at the time, but yeah, I had to.

33~ Have you ever written a letter to a soldier?

I don't know any soldiers.

34~ What does your favorite coffee mug look like?

Umm, it's black with some orange Halloween motif.

35~ What age do you think it is most difficult to be?

Well I haven't lived through all the ages yet, so it may be a little hard to tell, but so far teen years and mid-to-late twenties take the cake.

36~ Do you think you could handle a day in jail?

Yeah, it's a day. Even if it's absolutely dreadful, I could handle it.

37~ Who is the most overbearing person you know?

I'm actually not sure.

38~ Have you ever been on a trampoline?

Yup, not too long ago either.

39~ What do you use batteries for the most often?

Remotes.

40~ Would you prefer to wrap your own presents or have them all gift wrapped?

I like wrapping presents (tho we don't usually wrap them here anyway), but if there were many, I'd have them wrapped. I'm really slow with arts and crafts.

Hello Axelle!! I'm trying to get back into BL dramas but I don't know where to start. I saw on your MDL that you're watching quite a few things, would you mind telling me what you think about each of them? If it's too bothersome it's OK, just thought I'd ask you. Have a good day <3

hi anon! of course I can! it's true that after the covid drama drought, rn there's so much airing & it's probably gonna continue all throughout 2022 as well lol. here you go, in order from most loved to least loved (though I'm enjoying most things I'm watching rn tbh):

bad buddy: ngl this has me in a chokehold I didn't expect, I expected to love this but instead I literally ADORE it! might become my fave thai bl with itsay & tol, couldn't recommend it more!

baker boys: I really like this, actually more than I thought as well. I didn't expect to get so attached to the characters, I would legit die for pooh & krathing, they're my absolute faves! overall I know down the line this will not be the most memorable show, but it's such a fun one to watch & it really soothes my weeks tbh.

55:15 never too late: it just started so I don't have the MOST to say, but it's really fun already. it's typically the type of shows I enjoy, mostly focused on character-development, & I can't wait to see what type of adventures this unlikely group ends up in!

utsukushii kare: this one has been getting quite a bit of backlash for not being particularly healthy, but I actually like that about it. I do enjoy morally gray relationships, & even though I'm not necessarily rooting for the ship, I enjoy the storyline aspect of watching all of it unfurl & I think the story-telling is strong. for me not every bl has to be #relationshipgoals, & it actually makes the show stand out in that aspect.

kieta hatsukoi: I really like this show, though it has lost a bit of its momentum tbh. I feel like at some point the lack of intimacy that was tolerable at first just gets a bit too annoying & starts impeding on the story-telling of the show imo. I love the characters and would die for my disaster bi child aoki, though <3

paint with love: I'm really enjoying this! it feels like no other bl show I've seen before, which is definitely a breath of fresh air! that being said, after only 2 episodes, I feel like I haven't seen enough to make me really care for the characters yet, & that's why the show isn't higher on the list.

love with benefits: MEH. a big, huge meh. the acting is good & I love best & gameplay, but tbh the low budget production & boring writing impedes greatly on the potential of the story.

loveless society: even more meh, wouldn't recommend. the writing isn't there, the production isn't there, the acting is only decent... if it wasn't only 3 episodes I wouldn't have watched it.

xxx

the Sinclairs and your hobbies:

(all of these are assuming you like working with others and/or being watched, if not just ignore those)

1. working on your truck

I think Bo would love this and would want to help you (or mayhaps even let you help him), but I also think he's somewhat of a know-it-all and can get really annoying. also hella protective of his truck.

still, you're cool beans cause... you know stuff about trucks. would also make you help woth stripping the victims cars and stuff.

2. crocheting

Vincent would like it simply cause it is artsy, and I feel like Lester would admire you? also please make him stuff. he'd probably most openly appreciate it. Bo wants stuff too but he would never say it and act like it's not a big deal.

if this is something you can do (cause a friend crocheted a dog plushie for me) I think Lester would literally act like you gave him the moon. 12/10 would do his best to keep it clean and probably cuddle it in his sleep but don't let Bo know.

Vincent might be interested in learning a bit, but I think his wax, drawing etc is more his thing

3. cooking

please cook together with them

just

do it

Bo would possibly be difficult about it - see: truck - but still

you could learn things from each other

4. writing

if you wrote a poem for or about Vincent he'd (figuratively) melt

and I feel like Lester (and maybe Bo) would enjoy having stuff read out to them?

if you wanted to ask someone's opinion or to beta read, Vincent would probably be your best shot, though I do think all of them would do it

5. archery

Bo might think it's interesting, but... well, guns are a thing, y'know?

Lester would probably be... fascinated, maybe? like, he obviously knows it's a thing but I don't think he's ever seen someone do it before. though it might initially remind him a lot of hunting, and you'd have to show him that people don't always do it to kill, but just for fun.

(would you shoot an apple off his head? what do you mean that's a bad idea? *cue Bo glaring at him and Vincent just shaking his head, probably laughing*)

6. shooting rifles/pistols

now, this Bo can get behind

(I think you made that post about teaching Bo how to shoot properly too, cause his aim is whack? he wouldn't like you pointing that out to him though, but you could probably convince him)

show off to him and he'll be impressed

can you do that on humans too though? they can always use a helping hand with their... guests

7. carving wood with knives

Lester loves it cause knives are cool and I'm sure he does carving too, wood and maybe bones even?

and Vincent likes it too, I mean, he does do some carving with his wax, and the principle is the same

can totally see y'all just hanging out working on stuff and Bo being like... really?

though tbh he might also do soooome wood carving like, come on

anyway I had thoughts, for some reason reading your hobbies inspired me

sorry if anything is ooc, I don't usually do this kinda writing 😅

I- 🥺🥺 thank you so much!!

I literally love all of these so much 😭😭 this made my night I've been so down in the dumps lately, I literally appreciate all of this 💕💕 thank you so much though!!! Ughhh I just wanna carve stuff with Lester 😭😭 this literally made my night omllll

Howdy Jude!!!!! I wanted to ask: what's a funky fun date night you see you and Spencer having :o? I keep thinking of y'all playing laser tag or playing outside in the summer with dyed water balloons :3c

I'm looking forward to hearing your answer if you feel like answering it-- no pressure if you don't!

Tex @tex-treasures

hiii tex thank you for the ask + the prompts omg (and sorry its so late)! i hope youre doing well hun :> @tex-treasures heres a glimpse of an au w/ spencer ive been working on 😳 /jjj

I can definitely see both those things happening honestly!

Spencer is kind of a busy body but mot extremely athletic or active per say, BUT he'd love having those types of dates! - nothing like hiking long distances or running marathons (he'd pass out at mile 3 from the heat tbh) but running around the 'map' and getting competitive is definitely up his alley! He's a bit of a child and probably makes friends with the 15 year olds that play on his team and really gets into it; it's silly but sweet seeing this tree of a man peek his gun around the corner and randomly fire jqjdj

I'm pretty non-competitive but I'm not a lousy guy or someone that wants to ruin the experience - ill run around and probably bump into him too many times for it to be funny, especially with the loud noises of plastic smashing together. He reminds me we're not play football before shooting my pack and running off, laughing to himself. I'm not a sore loser BUT I will, however, get annoyed if he's rubbing it in my face on how I lost 'just, SO bad.' He'll probably make up for it with ice cream or something like that. 

From what I know, Seattle is pretty gloomy (atmosphere wise) but he'd never pass up a day to mess around w/ water guns and balloons when the warmer seasons roll around. I think he's the type to shoot water at me from across the room and run off and it just turns into a whole thing, even with the gang. Knowing there's an episode where they all run around trying to shoot each other w/ paintballs really solidifies the fact that this overgrown child can and will partake in any type of game and even when im 'out', he'd still accidentally get me and apologize for it later (and clean everything up).

Something he's canonly good at is skating so i feel like he'd wanna show off that skill a bit, especially after finding his old skates in his closet. Rollerblading/skating is something I've only done as a child (maybe 6ish?) But if ice skating is anything like that, I'll be semi competent on my own bc surprisingly, I know how to ice skate, unbeknownst to him - so I'll let him have his Teacher Time and let him have his moment to shine. Plus the added bonus of holding his hands to keep me steady or hands on my waist is too good to pass up anyways! 

bonus thingy:

Not really a date thing but Spencer is pretty crafty and makes his own costumes and stuff but I like to imagine helping him out by dyeing fabrics or holding things in place for him. Occasionally he'll make me wear whatever it is just to see how it'll fall or vice versa, he'll trust me to pin certain parts down while he wears the piece!

i like to think of him designing something like a jacket, shirt, pants, etc to work on as a present for me but he's not very good at secrets and tends to fixate so he might hole himself up until he's finished despite my birthday/the holidays/etc being months away, so he opts to just give them to me asap bc he wants to see my reaction. he's like that guy on tiktok that makes clothes for his gf all the time 😭

Thoughts on new vid:

Paying my twin $10,000 everytime we argue

The title alone already made me think 'huh. Will that work? You'll just exchange money back and forth. Grayson probably will lose. But, then again, don't you have the same bank account?'

Some people will probably be pressed how much they're mentioning money in the last few videos.

This feels like it'll end in some donation. They'll probably end up donating them, because I'm seeing donation links in the description.

I love the many times they said they love each other. It warms my heart. And the sus stuff like having conversation in bed 😂 it's pretty normal tbh but the way they react to mentioning it doesn't help them being less sus 😂😂

'Couples Therapy' 😂😂 I love Grayson so much.

The Raycon plug. I heard it lots in their podcast, but it still kind of threw me off when they also did it in this video. They don't often advertise stuff in their vids, so that was still a bit of a somewhat surprise, even though it's not like they've never done them.

While I can imagine the petty fights, in the video they were all mostly smiley and fond and just makes me think the fights are probably part of their foreplay at this point. They probably won't know what to do if they don't have at least one fight in a day. Though it's probably because they were trying to make each other mad on purpose and it turned into a game, so it was just fun times.

What I'm getting over the course of this video, they know exactly what they do that make the other so annoyed, most of the times. They are, literally, an old married couple.

As someone who cooks as well, I hate it too if when I'm cooking, someone else comes and uses the kitchen. Like, this is a limited space and I am doing something really precise and time-sensitive here and you are in my way, gtfo. Though Ethan was being purposely obnoxious, and from Grayson's reaction, Ethan supposedly isn't usually that obnoxious. And Grayson was smiling there. Annoyed, but amused in 'what are you up to?' Way.

I feel like if they go even one day without having some kind of bantering/argument, the day won't feel complete. Seems like most of their argument is just a side effect of living with each other for too long. Like an old married couple. They even talked about their fights with a mix of annoyed and fond vibes.

Grayson's log notes are so fucking cute 🥺🥺🥺🥺

For some reason, I feel like Ethan wanted Grayson to get a Tesla is mostly because in his opinion, it's safer. It probably has a protocol for if it gets into an accident/crash something. I don't know if this is just because I've been seeing some news on LA car accidents lately and that's why I thought that, or because of Ethan's argument about windshield? And the other car having bad vibes? Which to me seems to correlate to a safety thing. And how annoyed he gets that Grayson won't get himself a Tesla, though I'm not entirely sure if that was 100% genuine or he was playing it up a bit since he did say he was about to try something in the car. And he seems really adamant, too. Grayson will probably get it eventually (or not, he's somewhat a control freak and while he's getting used to seeing Ethan letting his car drive itself, he probably doesn't want it himself, maybe?) but feels like for now he's holding out just to be a little shit (and because he's his own person, 'you don't tell me what to do, Ethan!')

Ethan being worse about sharing clothes (at least in Grayson's opinion) made me think he's either an actually possessive person, or he actually really likes seeing Grayson in his (smaller) clothes. Either way, it still seems like a possessive thing and I'm kind of liking this implication. Though maybe Ethan just doesn't like Grayson ruining his clothes and making them loose since their size is different with a dash of sibling pettiness *shrug*.

And Grayson pouting is precious 😂 Fake pouting, still that was cute 😂

Grayson saying he misses Ethan not sleeping with him and backtracking by saying because he had bad dreams. And Ethan's face. I love Grayson, have I said it already?

Ethan's complaint about Grayson snoring reminded me of this incorrect grethan quote I made a while back. 😂😂

Aaaaa, hii I'm so glad you're back, I've missed youuuu🥺🥺🥺 how are you doing?

Also a little about me, probably friends cuz I'm only turning 18 in June, but anyways for them friendships

I am kinda shy but also not and an ambivert. I get distracted by anything really easily and I will be really excited by said things I get distracted by, I'm kinda like some child just running around or walking in funny ways on purpose.

I'm currently trying to find my style and I might wanna get a split dye (black and purple) I don't know how to use words well and I'm pretty bad at writing but I have loads of ideas all.

I'm a hugger and I also like platonic cuddles a lot, especially when I'm sleepy. Oh and I will support you no matter what, if it makes you happy, I'm happy too.

And I have a big imagination I always tend to get caught up in also a coping mechanism which leads me to be spooked easily but I'm okay with that.

And I'm kind of crazy, I always laugh about nearly any jokes and I can never get myself to stop laughing. Even if someone gets hurt, I just can't stop but that doesn't mean I don't care, I do and I wish I could just,, not laugh sometimes but I make up for it by also always laughing about me getting hurt in any way its never a super bad kinda hurt of course

Also, what about you if you wanna talk a bit about yourself?

~potato anon

AA I MISSED U BBY!! SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY IM SO SORRYJFJF

Why do you sound like me 💀💀💀💀 I honestly think we’d get along 👉🏼👈🏼 if I don’t annoy you after two weeks

Soooo I guess I’d describe myself as an introvert. I definitely love talking to ppl and hanging out w them!! I just get really tired easily.

As for my looks, I have pink short hair :D I love wearing make up and dressing up, don’t really have a consistent style but I don’t care much about that tbh.

Uhhh I tend to get attached to people easily, but I sometimes also need alone time if that makes sense. After a recent argument I had with a friend I realised talkign to someone a lot EVERY DAY does not do me good 💀

I love baking! ^^ not that good at cooking but I try ehe. I also like anime, kpop, dancing, reading and writing. (Though I haven’t written in months, I’m sorry guys ;-;)

I laugh a lot too but tend to use it to make light out of sad things ive experiences if that makes sense? I guess you can consider it dark humor? it’s just about my own stuff, I wouldn’t make fun of anyone on that level.

Im a huge softie and get overwhelmed with emotions really easily. That’s also why I kinda need someone to be clear with me and what they feel etc bc im always scared someone gets mad at me LMAO. I have way too much of an imagination, I blame the fact that I’ve been single all my life NSNDJ

Grace & Ava

Grace: you okay babes???! Ava: The furthest from without actually being 💀 Grace: Oh my god what even?! aren't you at that uni thing? Ava: For a few more hours yet, give me strength Ava: Last night was Ava: nah Grace: last night was a sorority girl horror 📽🎞 or like ??? Ava: Allegedly a thing but I've yet to see anyone rocking a skinhead without it being a Choice™ Ava: So, everyone else did go to the 📽🎞 last night but I pulled a sickie 'cos Ava: well, that can do one as a concept but also Ava: Are you sure you even want this? It's a whole saga, like 🙄😫 Grace: duh x 10000 Grace: there's nothing anyone can tell me about mean girls 🔪💔 we can skip 📽🎞 when I've IRL lived it Grace: & obvs! talk to me I'm BEYOND concerned Ava: There are no mean girls Ava: and I think the shit I pulled is beyond a Regina level even Grace: UM no way are you casting yourself 👑 thanks! what happened?! Ava: Sorry but you can try and come for the 👑 after I tell you Ava: So they get current pupils to show you around, do the tour, answer questions, do the whole programme with you, right? Ava: Must be good extra credit or whatever, anyway Ava: There's this guy, and the whole time there's this total...vibe, you know? And I'm not delusional or sad like that, its an actual thing but I know him, know of him Ava: so I know why I should just ignore it, but instead when everyone is out, I DM him Grace: excuse you bitch I'm literally reformed but like putting that ASIDE cos this is so much more IMPORTANT!😱😱 Grace: so are we talking a phoneful of regret or IRL walk of shame? Ava: We talked for a while, so I have literal evidence it wasn't just one-sided but truly do not wanna be that girl but like, I swear Ava: anyway, we did go out, properly and it was Ava: so good Ava: but then he had to go and now I have to die Grace: duh it was 😍😍😍 I know what a vibe means Grace: he has a gf yeah? honey we've ALL done it don't even stress he's obvs not that into her Ava: No its Ava: more complex Ava: there's Ava: well, he's married Ava: but he's not as old as that makes him sound but yeah, clearly quite into her Grace: Ew! What's with everyone getting 💍👰 Grace: if Janis gets proposed to I'm kmsing Grace: it doesn't sound that complex though babes, don't let this family fool you, 💔💍 is such a thing™ Ava: Can't see it myself Ava: they are cute though Ava: of course but I'm not out here doing that myself, that's Buster's bread and butter, not mine Ava: they have kids as well, two Grace: 🙄🤢 Grace: totally but we literally NEVER have to tell her or them that shh Grace: well that explains it 🤰👰💍 he probs doesn't even love her Ava: My lips are sealed Ava: One of them is like...6 or something and the other is a baby so there's like no excuse Ava: It didn't come to anything more than a kiss but I'm mortified Grace: 6? How old is he?! Ava: Again, not as old as that makes him sound Ava: 22 ish, in his last year Grace: THANK GOD! I was literally picturing like a hot 40 Ava: Somehow that would be less complicated Ava: Unless he was a friend of my parents or something but not trying to hit every cliche before I even start Uni Grace: UGH! remember when I went to the fair with that lad who turned out to be 19 & everyone lost it like I was being groomed 🙄 Grace: such a drama Grace: this seriously doesn't sound that bad Grace: either he's bored of her or having his 🍰 & 😋 Grace: who stopped it at 😘😘? Ava: Well, he did turn out to be a creep didn't he Ava: but he could've been a 15 year old creep as easily, I see your point Ava: He did Ava: his phone kept going off Ava: it must've been her Grace: yeah & like I totally worked it out for myself from reading the vibe Grace: same as you last night Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: did he answer? did you literally have to sit there 🤐!!! Ava: I think I might've got the vibe seriously wrong Ava: well, no Ava: I don't know Ava: we were in a club, he couldn't Ava: but we left real quick and he hasn't looked at me today so that's been fun Grace: oh girl please Grace: trust, as someone who has gotten the vibe wrong WAY more times than we need to admit outside of this convo, you so didn't Grace: he's having a freakout, we've ALL been there too, yeah? Ava: Clearly Ava: 😂 Ava: Oh God Ava: I just need to pretend this never happened and peace Grace: come over Grace: we'll go out & make some new drama happen Grace: soon as you do, you'll know if he's bothered Ava: Sounds good Ava: If I didn't have two other Unis to hit before Summer officially starts 🙄 Grace: OMG you're so extra Ava: Rude 😂 Ava: Not as if I can go here now, is it? Ava: I'm burning through options, girl Grace: ILY for it 💜 Grace: did you wanna go there for real? Ava: Not hugely Ava: it was in my top 5 but its definitely not 🥇 Grace: 🤷💅 Grace: it was obvs a 🏆💋 so Ava: seriously Ava: though I'm probably gonna find out that he's made time for every girl on this program Grace: did you pick up on any other vibes? Ava: I don't think so Ava: He did say other girls were flirting with him though Grace: 😂 boys always say that Grace: literally will have been hitting refresh waiting on you 💬 Ava: Or, they really were and that was a subtle dig that I just ignored Ava: 🤡🤡 Grace: ugh don't Grace: nobody's looked hotter the morning after babes Grace: he'd be the 🤡 Ava: Minus the HP🗲 scar Ava: idk where that came from, which doesn't bode well for how trashed I must've been Grace: if he was as wasted maybe he doesn't remember & that's why he blanked you cos everything is Grace: 👋 been there Ava: I wish Ava: like I said, we know each other Grace: do you know his 👰? Ava: 😶 Ava: Just kill me now Grace: has he posted anything? Ava: About how much he 💕 his wife and kids? Ava: Fuck knows Grace: well yeah or idk how wasted he was Grace: anything to go on Ava: His 👰 would not approve Grace: if he doesn't have like a private snap he's no 💔 Ava: Wasn't my first question Ava: Probably does but bit late to ask now Grace: you literally could Grace: cringe but no more cringe than running into him playing happy families when you go get coffee Ava: I'm just gonna leave it Ava: Not a moment too soon Grace: 👌👌💜 Ava: When the alcohol leaves my system my head will be less 🤯 Ava: Standard Grace: his too though Grace: maybe he'll come to you Grace: 🤞 yeah or 🤞 no? Ava: I don't know what I want Ava: or feel about any of it Ava: It's better to just assume nah, a pleasant surprise is always better than disappointment Grace: mhmm Ava: Shut up Ava: I'm confused and hungover, I don't know anything 🙄😏 Grace: no shade Ava: I know Ava: This is too extra Ava: even from me, right Grace: you can wear the 👑 until I earn it back Grace: cos duh who's more extra Grace: me, this hoe Ava: 😂 I'm ready for it Grace: you gotta let me have it there's no 😘💖😍 in my 🔮 Ava: Not even a little? Grace: there was a little but it got too much Grace: too close to being like Grace: I can't Grace: I'm out Ava: I don't think it's all it's cracked up to be, honestly Grace: makes me feel like I'm cracking up Grace: no thanks Ava: Preaching to the converted today Grace: 🙌 Ava: I'll definitely come over some point this Summer though Grace: YAY Grace: I so need you Ava: I think me and the 'rents are going the first two weeks, then I'm going with my friends the last two Ava: so sometime in the middle to play with Grace: ugh if only my mum and dad were organised about anything ever Grace: god knows when or where they'll spring a hol 🙄🙄 Ava: All fun and games Ava: least you get more space these days, I guess Grace: if they're gonna be annoying I'll just bring you with 🤷 Ava: Three holidays would be a record Grace: hot older lad who?! 😂 Grace: Brazil is on another level Ava: If there's sun and sea, I'm happy Grace: you'll be sooo 😊 Ava: 😘 Grace: 💜 Ava: I did not think that would be such a rant Ava: IOU a coffee, I'll ping you the funds rn forreal Grace: As if! like I've NEVER done you that way Grace: shhh Ava: It's done Ava: Consider it a reminder we need a proper catch up when my head is less fried Grace: 👌👌 fine Ava: Don't be mad, it is essential some good happens today Grace: It's fine babes, promise Ava: Good Ava: I better try and finish this essay thing Ava: Or at least make a better start Grace: or at least get yourself a coffee & put some lipstick on Ava: Cheers, I know I look clapped 😂 Grace: shut up Grace: you do not! Ava: I wouldn't wanna chat to me either tbh Grace: Girl, stop Grace: this convo has been wild & I'm living Ava: I meant him, not you 😉 Ava: Only subjected socials to one pic, like Grace: well duh he wants to kiss you again not have a chat Grace: if you wanna talk you'll have to Grace: there's only one kind of convo lads ever start Ava: Hmm Ava: Have better luck with this essay than thinking of something worth saying Grace: what do you wanna say? Grace: like if you could just Ava: Christ Ava: firstly, what the fuck? Grace: he can't shade you for starting there Ava: Though I initiated it so, ugh Grace: he didn't have to go along with any of it Grace: his wife & kids were literally waiting at home for him so Grace: you like deserve to know if there are other girls or not Ava: What's more insane though Ava: asking around every girl on this course, or asking him Ava: There are definite drawbacks either way from where I'm sitting Grace: you said you know him, how much does he lie? Grace: asking him will be more than cringe if you can't believe a word, it'll be pointless Ava: I don't know him like that but Ava: I suppose I've heard that he's a typical lad in most regards so Grace: yeah Ava: but that's from one source so Ava: who's to say they're 100% reliable Grace: right Grace: I'll stalk the other girls, obvs am insane so Ava: No Ava: 'cos then I'll have to tell you who he is Ava: and it'll all get out of hand Grace: OMG do I know him??! Ava: How would you? Ava: 'course not Grace: then why does it matter if you tell me or not? Ava: I'll sort it myself Grace: Ava Grace: is it already out of hand? Ava: That'd depend on who you asked too Grace: I'm asking you Ava: I've got this Grace: promise Ava: 🤞 Grace: 👌