#i feel bad ALL THE TIME bc i feel like whenever we hang out im taking him away from his family | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

catscidr · 3 months

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I think we have all seen the "Argenti thinks the Reader is Idrila" stuff on here. But what if the reader actually is Idrila? So I wanted to request Argenti/Idrila!Reader (gn or afab reader) headcanons or a oneshot where Idrila, who has taken on a mortal identity after [Insert tragic event here], and meets Argenti. They develop feelings for each other, Argenti finds out she is Idrila, they end up dating. (Maybe or maybe not in that specific order) I thought maybe after protecting her followers from Nanook she disappeared to ensure Nanook doesn't target them anymore? That part isn't as important so feel free to add whatever backstory you think fits^^ Thank you in advance, I really like your writing!

NONNIE omg im booting up star rail rn to stare at him lovingly. also i changed the scenario a smidge so reader is her own person while also being idrila? if that makes sense......?? yeah. also bc otherwise id be writing ten thousand words n i didnt want ur ask to grow dusty in my inbox d(;∀;d) but tysm for the prompt i couldn’t stop thinking about it ueue. also hey gang peep me trying to make my blog look more coherent n nicer looking. am i doin it ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ cw: a smidge of amnesia and soulmate trope (it’s not that bad, trust), fluff, love at first sight (does that even count in this scenario....), argenti and reader are dancing around the topic a lot bc argenti is a gentleman and doesn’t want to pressure her to talk. blurbs to set up the plot + a fic after them hehe. not proofread, writer’s block is killing me includes: fem reader (he refers to reader as "my lady"), argenti, natasha, luocha is kinda there wc: 2,3k

-ˋˏ You’d go to Natasha’s clinic at least once every other day because you always had the worst migraines. To the point where you almost got beat up by a Flamespawn one time when you were clearing out calyxes (thankfully there was a Silvermane guard patrolling the area, otherwise you would’ve been charred). The doctor always says the same thing; “Stop looking for fights so often”, “Let your body rest”, “I can’t prescribe you antibiotics”, and your favorite, “Stop slamming my door open I can’t do anything about your headaches”. She was a good friend, but whenever she repeated how she couldn’t be of any help to your predicament, you’d wish you could just take that glass vial hanging from her outfit and chuck it far, far away out of spite.

-ˋˏ Obviously it wasn’t her fault- she'd done everything she could. Natasha even had you undergo the Underworld’s equivalent of an MRI scan because of how frequently you would visit her, insisting that something was wrong. The symptoms consisted of forgetting important things too often, feeling a foreign buzz in your limbs and brain, having a sudden burst of elemental energy come out of your attacks and a myriad of benign but annoying, irritating signs that something was up with you.

-ˋˏ It became more of a chore than anything to leave your room. Some days you felt fine, but then when you’d go out again and beat up wave after wave of enemies in Caverns of Corrosion you would keel over, clutching your head while vague images of what could only be described as a fever dream ran through your mind.

-ˋˏ You decided to leave the Underworld for some time- considering your absence like some sort of “vacation”. You heard of a wandering doctor (and merchant, apparently) by the name of Luocha and, from the people that crossed paths with him, it seemed like he was extraordinary at his job. A trek to the Xianzhou Luofu would be a long one, but after weighing your options you thought you’d give it a try (it was worth it if it meant you’d stop waking up at ungodly hours, holding your head in your hands while hoping, praying that the pain stops.)

-ˋˏ You (somehow) made your way to the Xianzhou Luofu from Jarilo-VI. As competent as you were however, being stranded on a foreign planet with no map nor local to guide you was... a challenge. In retrospect, maybe you should’ve gotten in contact with that Luocha doctor and had him come to Belobog instead of you going to him since, well, he was a traveling merchant. Going from planet to planet is what he does (you assume).

✧✧✧

If you had read up more on general information about the Luofu you would have been aware of how many enemies were roaming around the docking area. But you didn’t. So, unbeknownst to you, a rogue mara-struck soldier was on your tail, trying to sneak up to you to snag the goods you hid in your bag (which were basically just different types of painkillers and sustenance that bodes well on an upset stomach. He doesn’t know that though.)

Your head was throbbing; ever since you set foot on the planet, your physical health had slowly dropped down to levels you wouldn’t be enduring if it wasn’t for the promise of a competent doctor once you get to the main city. Painkillers weren’t working, your feet hurt and to make matters worse, you felt the familiar lack of something in your head. It was so bad to the point where you had to have a tangible mark somewhere to remind you that you did, in fact, just take something for your headache and if you took two more painkillers, your body wouldn’t agree with your decision. It was a struggle even remembering what you did five minutes ago, no way were you going to be in top shape, beating up every enemy crossing your way.

Clouds began covering the bright sun, casting shadows over the desolate, geometric area. You huff, irritated that, from the looks of it, you won’t be able to find a cozy place to set up camp. Though sleeping on a ground made of primarily iron and steel was considerably less nerve-wracking than sleeping on the mushy, cold, dirty ground of Jarilo-VI. So, with a pout aimed at no one in particular, you find some place that you deemed decent enough to set your humble tent. It wasn’t often that adventurers slept outside of safe zones, however with your condition you couldn’t afford to miss out on some rest and possibly get even more lost than you already are.

You set your heavy backpack down, rolling your shoulders to soothe the ache in your muscles from carrying something so bulky. As you ruffle through your belongings, you open a bottled soda and take a swift gulp, sighing contentedly at the pleasant taste on your tongue. Now that you were sat and could rest your bones (until you started setting up your tent, at least), your ears were able to pick up on some not-so-distant footsteps.

There’s no time for you to react; the mara-struck soldier that had been following you lunges at you, aiming for your bag. Your eyes widen and you open your mouth to yell, but before any sound can leave your mouth, a long, red and gold spear pierces the ground between you and the rabid man, making you yelp in surprise. You scurry as far back as you can in your current state; however, the soldier doesn’t have time to take advantage of your weakened stature. The owner of the spear lodges himself before your shaking figure and the mara-struck, yanking his spear out of the ground with impressive elegance, and summons an array of thorny vines to catch your assailant.

It takes little to no effort for the seasoned fighter to take down the mara-struck as he swings his weapon, swiftly knocking the blunt end on the soldier’s plexus, knocking the wind out of him. A strangled scream leaves his throat as he scampers away, leaving your belongings safe with you and the strange red-haired man. He lowers his spear, careful to keep the sharp edge far from you, and turns around to face you properly. His brows raise a smidge for a split second before he composes himself and bows before you, the action short and curt.

“It would have been a shame to lose a beauty such as yourself,” he says smoothly, straightening his back to look down at you with a warm smile. He stretches his hand out, a polite offer to help you stand up, as he continues speaking. “My name is Argenti, I belong to the Knights of Beauty. What might you be doing so far away from civilization, dear...?” he trails off, waiting for you to introduce yourself.

You were in a state of shock, your mind still processing what had happened in such a short amount of time, that you failed to notice the lack of pain at the back of your head. As you meekly tell him your name, you hold onto his hand to help yourself up- as soon as his armored glove comes in contact with your hand something flashes in your mind; too quick to allow you to think about it too much, or to recognize what you saw for a millisecond.

“So far away from civilization... do you know how to get to the city?” you ask as you feel a glimmer of hope spark in you. His words were refreshing, probably the best thing someone has ever said to you in the past month. He nods, reaching into his pocket to fish out a blue handkerchief embroidered with a delicate gold trim. Argenti hands it over to you and you gratefully take it, blotting the sweat and... dust off of your face.

“I have made my way around the Luofu for long enough to show someone the way,” he says kindly. “Besides, even if I didn’t, I would still offer to accompany you through your trek. It is my duty as a Knight of Beauty, for I must uphold chivalry and distinguished manners, in the name of the Goddess guiding me.” His words resonate within you, making you beam, nodding in understanding.

Your reaction doesn’t go unnoticed by the knight. As you hand his handkerchief back, he smiles at you and gestures to your bag. “What brings you so far from your homeworld, my lady?” Argenti asks gently, though a glimmer of doubt swirls in his sparkling, verdant eyes. The question makes you pause, a memory flashing in your mind too suddenly for you to know what it meant. Although, from what you could tell, you knew you could trust him with what troubled you somehow.

“Ah, it’s a long story,” you start sheepishly, “I’ve been having these incredibly painful migraines recently. And sometimes I feel like my memory is fading too quickly for what would be considered normal,” you say, trailing off slightly at the end. “I’m looking for a healer, a doctor by the name of Luocha...?”

Somehow, the doctor was currently the least of your worries. You’d never felt so refreshed before, at least not that you could remember; simply being in Argenti’s presence seemed to be enough to make your aches disappear like a starskiff smoothly gliding through a cloudless sky.

“I’ve seen the man only a handful of times,” Argenti mutters aloud, pulling you out of your thoughts. “I can do my best to guide you to him, but if I may... you don’t seem to be injured?” the knight says, his voice trailing off into a questioning tone despite the observation. You shake your head, wondering how you should explain your predicament to the man.

“Like I said, it’s a long story,” you say again, shrugging sheepishly. You wondered if you should even go into the nitty gritty- he could always just be making small talk to help you get comfortable or something. Sensing your unease, he changes the spotlight to him instead.

“There’s no need to delve into details if you wish to keep them secret,” he says with a kind smile, bending down to take ahold of your hand- gently pressing a chaste kiss on the back of your hand. Red flushes your ears immediately, words caught in your throat at the sight of his hair cascading over his shoulders, a beautiful contrast from the gold and silver armor glittering in what was left of the sunlight.

“As for myself, like I mentioned earlier, I am a Knight of Beauty. I’m on a quest to find my dear Goddess Idrila once more, for I need to pay my respects to them after they saved me from a particularly grim fate.” His words echoed in your mind, your brows knitting together as you felt what could only be described as a cold bucket of water being dunked on your head. “I-Idrila?” you parrot, your voice coming out as a choked noise. Argenti perks up, the hand that had been softly holding onto yours now holding it with a firmer grip, his other hand joining it.

“Yes, Idrila. Have you ever heard of them? Or...” he trails off, looking deep into your eyes expectantly, almost as if he knew something you didn’t. His eyes seemed to suck you in, bringing a comfortable wave of warmth over you, making you yearn for something.

“I...” you begin, your gaze falling down to look at your feet. As you thought long and hard about what you wanted to say, what you tried to remember, you slowly look over to his spear, lying flat on the ground- long forgotten since the fight earlier. As if a lightbulb went off above your head, you perk up just as he did, and look at him, beaming. The words were caught in your throat; there was so much you wanted to say, to declare, to do in this moment of clarity, but with how fast your mind was running to catch you up on the current events of your life it was a struggle.

“Argenti,” you murmur, the name rolling off your tongue smoothly, as you realized seeing the traveling merchant was no longer required. Though the road might have been arduous, and you may have almost lost your mind in the process, being with Argenti suddenly made everything make sense. That’s why your migraines mysteriously disappeared as soon as you were in the knight’s presence, that’s why you had gaps in your memory, that’s why you were freakishly powerful... at convenient times.

Everything clicked into place.

The both of you share a pregnant pause, eyes locked together as the world seemed to come to a stop around you. If it were possible, you’re sure there would be delicate, silky rose petals floating around your figures, suspended in the air. You glance down at his lips, and for the first time, make a decision with a clear head.

His lips felt smooth against yours, the faint taste of vanilla mixed with roses transferring to your own lips. The kiss almost felt like it could be the result of a symbiotic relationship; now that you had Argenti, or at least had him by your side once again, you didn’t think you’d be able to continue on without him.

#i may or may not have butchered the ending bc i DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THEM /SOBS #i did my best #୧ ‧₊˚orderup!#hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #argenti x reader #argenti x fem reader #argenti x you #argenti x y/n

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x-liv25-jamieswife · 10 days

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Nash and Xander hc?

nash and xander head canons

i'm literally so in love with both of them, and i need more of them (jlb im begging). might be shitty bc my period is making me want to dig my own grave rn and bury myself (also not proof read)... hope you like them<3

xander will ramble to nash about his inventions

nash helps him saw wood pieces and things for his gadgets bc xander won't admit it but he's scared of saws.

at first, when xander first started hanging out with his father, nash would follow him to make sure nothing bad happened.

nash tried to teach him how to drive, but xander is crazy behind the wheel so nash gave up

when they were younger, xander used to love it when nash would give him piggy back rides

nash would not let anyone touch xander when he was a baby. he held him all the time and didn't want to let him go

xander will visit nash at the bar when he doesn't come home for a few weeks bc he hates when he isn't home. nash always feels bad and goes back

nash read him bedtime stories (he still does)

xander surprises him with taylor swift merch or gadgets he created that are taylor swift themed or smth (idk what this could be but we all know that xander would make them hand made gifts) (nash is canonically a swiftie)

they make memes together/send each other cringy memes

nash installed a mini fridge in xander's lab and stocks it up regularly to make sure xander eats

nash will sometimes find xander sleeping in his lab, and will somehow manage to carry him up to his room.

xander was nash's best man at the wedding and nash was his.

they'll wake each other up by blasting taylor in their speakers (cause they totally have speakers in their rooms)

both avid romance readers who host a monthly book club with grayson (nash is more of a fan of contemporary romance whilst xander is more into dystopian and stuff)

xander didn't have many friends when he was younger bc of how much of a nerd he is. nash used to pick him up from school and take him to lunch.

when xander was younger, he was afraid to be himself bc of the hate he received online (as a literal child, also xander said people have hated him his entire life so..). nash used to encourage him to be who he wanted to be by buying him things he could use in his lab or stuff like that. nash is the reason why xander isn't ashamed of himself.

xander used to hide under nash's bed and try to scare him when he was younger

he would get nash to check if there were monsters in his closet when he was like 5.

nash used to help him study for his tests (not bc he needed it but he liked being around him (same goes for xander))

nash got xander to teach him how to bake so that he cold bake libby little treats.

they have staring competitions when xander does something nash doesn't approve of or thinks is dangerous. the one who loses basically admits that the other is right. nash pretty much always wins.

xander takes pride in being taller than nash (xander - 6'3 and nash - 5'11 (i think)). he'll walk up next to him and pass his hand over his head and then over nash's to flex (idk if this makes sense)

nash taught xander how to twerk after his bachelor party.

xander was aware of how nash felt like he had to keep this whole family going when he was younger. he used to cuddle up next to nash at night to try to make him feel better.

they like going out and buying tiramisu (their dog) little outfits.

xander learned how to make hats to make nash cowboy hats.

xander had a button collection (idk why) when he was younger, and whenever nash used to grow out of his button shirts, he would rip out the buttons and give them to nash

nash is always the first to try out his inventions. xander will call him the second its ready and he'll drop everything to go see xander

xander used to make dances and make nash watch them (he was like 7 and would make a choreography to love story by taylor or smth)

might make a part two for them bc i absolutely love them and need more.

#the inheritance games #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne #libby grambs #grayson hawthorne #jameson hawthorne #avery grambs

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dilutedconfusion · 1 month

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okay listen so i've been thinking heavily on the yandere trope recently. but like with Kid as the yandere. and whenever i see yandere!Kid i feel like he's always the more sadistic version of yanderes.

basically used this post (hoping the link works for you🙏🙏) to look at the dif types bc i dont know all that😭 but i feel like he is always sadistic/possessive in fics. obvi all yandere!aus are gonna be at least a little ooc bc its a divergence of canon characteristics but hear me out girl...

delusional and overprotective yandere!Kid... like girl. or like basically a kinda soft yandere!Kid. but like still horrible and awful not GREAT at emotions. like he will still get mad and yell but otherwise? is strangely kind to you? (w you not really realizing any subtle manipulation tactics that him or Killer might be using cuz Killer is loyal asf to Kid🤞)

like being kidnapped by the Kid pirates, the worst of the worst generation, said to be cruel and sadistic. that's already bad, and you're terrified for your life. essentially having a meltdown because you had no idea what was going to happen to you, but you had a guess. you meet Kid and prepare to be tortured/killed. then he's like??? weirdly nice to you? like yeah he's gruff and kinda bitchy but that is a thousand times better than being killed.

thats as far as the thoughts go but see my vision?? figured you would appreciate the Kid thoughts🙏

OKAY OKAY I love this SOOO MUCH. Like I don’t think I can explain how much I love this but you SLAYED. GIVING ME LINKS AND DETAILED DESCRIPTIONS AND SHIZ 🤭💞 Okay so to get right to the point I will be of course writing a chapter on this (or maybe multiple on this because that’s how good of an idea it is pookie). BUT I don’t know when I’ll be able to churn out a full chapter. I mean probably soon but I sorta just want to get a better grasp of exactly the kind of character you want Kid to be before I start writing. So here’s a little traits list?? that I cooked up the minute I read over this just to get my creative juices flowing. Let me know if Im headed in the right direction and if there is any changes or additions you’d like to see. Other than that I’ll write up the chapter, tag and credit the hell out of you, and we can revel in softyandere!Kid together 🥰

Traits

Thinks that kidnapping you was the best choice for your life. That you will be the safest and happiest with him (even if you’re kidnapped and being held against your will)

Often uses manipulation tactics like love bombing, balant lying to keep you in the dark, and triangulation with Killer

Not only believes that everyone else in the world is a hazard to you (including most of his crew members) but you’re a hazard to yourself so he doesn’t allow you privacy??? This could be taken to the point where he feels like he needs to be in the same room with you at all times. Eyes on you whenever physically possible. Which is sorta intense so just let me know if that is too much for you (cause I could make it really gross or more mild lol)

Will do even the simplest task for you, not because he wants to do it to help, but because he doesn’t believe you can take care of yourself or MOREOVER he should be the only to take care of you because he is just that great. Which of course he will hang over y/n’s head in arguments and be like “BUT LOOK AT HOW MUCH I DO FOR YOU😡” type shit.

If you do constantly try to pull away from him he’ll think you’re just shy or playing hard to get and will therefore push your boundaries harder. But if you actually PHYSICALLY harm him or try to PERMANENTLY leave he’d rather tie you down until you apologize and say you weren’t in your right mind when you did that then listen to your plea seriously (HES SO DELULU) The punishment for this could also involve taking away material items or aspects of freedom because like you said he's not sadistic so he would never hurt you.

To put it simply y/n would feel like this “I like you Kid but I don’t like who you become when you're with me” WHICH WOULD CAUSE SOME SERIOUS TURBULENCE IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND SOME SWEET ANGST EVEN.

I would write more but I don’t want to give TO MUCH away plot wise. Sooo hopefully this gives you a good idea on how I’m thinking of portraying Kid. If you have any other questions of course ask me!! Any little tid bits will be much appreciated and thank you so much for requesting something from me Emma 🫶

#alicia answers <3

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celestie0 · 1 month

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first of all, i knew that kai dude was bad news!!

but let's start form the top!! gojo kicking the ball in the FACE??? ahhhh lost it!!! i thought he maybe aimed at kai but boy was (accidentally) aiming at her, nooo!!!

ahaha but the way he cared for her then 😭😭 my heart, so weak for this trope. also we got a kiss so a win is a win!!

“Go ahead,” he says, using his knee to spread your legs apart, then finds a place to stand between your thighs to get closer to you. “I’ve got a lot of ways I could shut you up.”

excuse me man. do not say this in front of me or i'll get wet. thank you. moving on!

“You were born blessed with talent, and you’re popular, and people adore you, and you don’t have to worry about internships, or jumping from job to job just to make something of yourself."

ugh, that moment when she breaks down about her depts and car repair bills and all that? it was so raw and real. it makes her even more relatable. loved that!!

“You don’t want me hanging out with them?” you repeat after him, “I’m not listening to that. Because it’s possessive. And it’s wrong.”

yes, yes yes!! tell him girl!!! put him in his place!!! love pissed fmc!! <33

“Does that make you feel better?” he asks. / “Does thinking of me that way—…does it make you feel better about all of this? Between us?”

bruh, satoru is THE sweetest in this story, and I'm LIVING for his soft boy energy! he has such a innocent and soft love for her, i could cry and vanish into thin air 😭😭

also the way he is ALL about her dreams and supporting her in her carrer. WEAK.

but then everything happening after, god i was so ANGRY with Kai and all his douchebag people!!! i was ready to throw hands through the screen!!!

but can we also talk about how our girl was holding her own even when those jerks were putting her and her dreams down? she's got a fire in her, and i love that she wasn't backing down! satoru's lucky to have someone so fierce by his side.

thank goodness satoru and his squad showed up when things got serious and protected her!! also that protective move in front of her? I DIED. It's official, i'm WEAK. just one word. WEAK.

can't wait to read the next chapter, in which satoru will surely move heaven and earth to show his love to her and i'm here for it!!! please shower me with all the fluff and smut.

i need ALL the cozy, heart-melting moments! ♡♡

honestly, this AU is EVERYTHING. you're painting such a vivid picture, i feel like i'm right there on campus, surrounded by hotties and drama!! what could someone ask more of? ♡♡

also want to add that i think you have an incredible ear for how people talk, with all their quirks and little inflections. reads so natural and authentic!! have a great day or night, whenever you read this!

OMG LOSTFRACTURES M00TIE <333 THANK U SM FOR UR ASK I COULD CRY RN

aaa yes he actually isnt the one that kicked the ball haha 🤣 that was originally going to be the plan, but rather his teammate kicked the ball and he was too distracted by reader getting super close to kai to see it, and it flew past him n then hit her 😵‍💫

LMAO pls same part of me wanted to scream just to fuck around n find out ab all those ways of shutting us up haha

thank uuu im so glad you enjoyed her lash out 🥺💕 it was simultaneously very gratifying but also heartbreaking to write

aaa thank uu sm ur words ab softie satoru LOL i think his way of showing care can be unconventional sometimes but there’s no denying he really does want her to have the things he thinks she deserves :”) im just glad he finally thinks he’s someone she deserves haha

AND YES. SHE’s ALSO FIERCE AND A SOFTIE AT THE SAME TIME ✨✨ i wa sso excited by this chapter bc i think it takes gojo being “too good for her” bc he’s popular n whatnot but now reader is just THAT GIRL n a bad bitch and she’s almost too good for him now haha

ouu ty for the compliment on the dialogues n stuff 😭🤧 that’s so relieving to hear lol

AND YESS SO EXCITED FOR HIS LOVER BOY ERA ch10 is gonna be a lot of fun and sexy (still a tad bit angsty 👉🏼👈🏼) haha thank uu sm for looking forward to it 🥺💕 ur too kind pls

#lostfrac m00tie #kickoff #asks

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fairycosmos · 9 months

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whenever i have a bad day i just spend a wholeass hour scrolling through your blog bc it's so comforting and the way you express yourself puts my feelings to words so accurately it's almost scary. you are so funny and kind and i can tell we'd be great friends if we knew each other irl. just wanted to pop in and give u my appreciation yet again bc i'm obsessed w ur blog <333 i hope august has been treating u well !!

ciannaaaaaaaa 😭 this is wild because i literally do the exist same thing with your blog!! it's like visiting a friend its always so warm and real and true and peaceful ugh i love it sm and appreciate ur presence on here so so much. totally get what you mean i think we could spend hours just hanging out together nd having the best time via unspoken understanding of each others thoughts and feelings 💌 ANYWAY im glad i can be of some comfort to you and im glad we're not alone in any of this even though it's all so insanely difficult lol thank you so much angel fr 💕 will remember this next time im feeling shit. i hope august has been kind to you as well, its so deserved!!

#stuckinapril #my HEARTTT ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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ghostismybbygorl · 1 year

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Okay heres how id vibe with cod characters

First off i think my call sign would be 'mouse'

Bc im small i can scurry around places pretty quick and i can escape out of a situation fast as well that or cause i sneeze like a mouse

Id be a sniper and demolition expert ngl

Price

Legit i would call him dad 24/7 not like in a daddy kind of way but like legit a father figure

he'd just roll his eyes and accept the fact that he has another kid he has to take care of

100% would smoke a cigar with him though id smoke those tiny cigarillos (my brother smokes cigars and ill smoke a little with him)

Gift giving is my love language so whenever id visit a new country id buy him a cigar from there

I have a hat like his and i WILL wear it around and mimick him

Id do the grunts and everything

I feel like id be on more missions with him than anyone else

Definitely would hang out in his office to keep him company and annoy the shit out if him

Soap

Dont let anyone near us

AT ALL

wed be doing diabolical shit especially since im an arsonist and free will plus military grade explosives plus mouse and soap. have the fire department on speed dial

We'd be the reason price is greying faster

100% stealing his shirts and hoodies they'd be so big on me

Im gonna be up front with this one

We'd be fucking. I'm down bad for this man

We'd annoy the absolute piss out of ghost. He can handle one soap but TWO hes gonna need the backpack leashes for us

Quoting vines and tiktoks ON THE DAILY

Jam seshes in the car would be 100% perfect

We'd have a snap streak and its only stupid photos we take

Im recording everything he does i know damn well hes always in a silly goofy mood

Definitely in the blunt rotation

He's definitely the type to find my snack rations and eat them in front of me

Lots of hugs and kisses for this man

Except when he eats my snacks

Wed play fight all the time. When i'm really close with someone ill start "beating them up" (just be faking to fight you)

Ghost

Oh this poor poor man

Have sympathy on him because he's going to try to avoid every ounce of my being

And i wont stop that

Im giving him hugs left and right this man needs some love

I feel like once i start cracking dark humor jokes he'd open up to me

100% would be making the most absurd worst dad jokes and laughing about it

We'd text on the daily mostly just me sending him memes and him sending a 👍🏻or a 👎🏻

Im stealing his hoodies and his masks

Id probably piss him the fuck off to be honest

Id give him so many gifts to make him happy i know he crinkle's his eyes when he smiles

In the blunt rotation too but i think he'd just join for the company and not smoke that much

Id be over in his room if im overstimulated and i don't want to deal with people

Id have him proof read my fanfiction and he'd be my personal dictionary cause i cant spell for shit

Gaz

Did i say big brother vibes cause HE WILL BE MY BIG BROTHER

Id steal his hat so many times but like not in the ride a cowboy kind of way

Id buy him the most ridiculous hats and he will 100% wear them

I feel like he was a spondgebob kid so i know damn well we'll be quoting some of the lines

Part of the blunt rotation as well

When I'm upset he's the one id rant to

Definitely would vibe in a room without talking to him in general

He's most definitely the one to keep me from being unhinged

Totally would listen to murder podcasts together

So at my previous job we had to wear full body harnesses and we played this game called the carabiniere game where you take a carabiniere and hook it on to someone without them knowing and you see who can put the most on them

Soap, gaz, and i would be playing it 100% all the time with each other.

Id also grab them by the harness and pull them around or clip myself to them

Let me get a video from my old job and just put em here and id just explain

Okay back to writing

Laswell

Once again id call her mom and she's just gonna have to deal with it

Id definitely spend time with her outside of work (especially since she lives in maryland my family lives up there) which gives me more of a reason to visit her lol

Shopping sprees i feel like she's a frequent shopper at tj maxx and target

I also feel like she gives the best life advice so id come calling if im in a predicament

Okay so i am partially fluent in spanish, my god mother and best friend are Mexican so I've been around Mexican culture the majority of my life

Alejandro

definitely calls me niña or cariño

I feel like he'd roast my spanish and doesn't correct me if i say something wrong

100% my drinking buddy

I feel like he'd be very protective over me

Id be his date (platonically) and hed be mine to all the family gatherings

Fucking Mexican families are so much fun too. party my tia throws one and im there two shots of tequila in my hand listening and damcing to music

We'd text on the daily i feel like he'd frequently visit me and my family in the south as well he'd be the life of the party at my tia's parties

Rudy

He's the one that corrects my spanish and WILL only speak spanish to me until I understand whst he's saying

Insert him pointing to a random object and says it in spanish

I feel like we wouldnt bond much but we would you know?

I also feel like he gives great life advice

Graves

Id kick him in the balls

He's the type of guy i avoid or ruin his reputation

Absolutely despise him

Completely roast that motherfucker

Drop kick him

He pisses me off so much

Gives off leo and cancer energy

OHOHOHOHHH AND AT THE BETRAYAL SCENE DONT GET ME STARTED

Id 100% try to fight him even before Alejandro would

Tbh id probably get killed by one of his shadows bc of it

König

Sweet babe i would help him through an axiety attack

PIGGY BACK RIDES FOR SURE

id hug him every-time i see him

Definitely would say uppies and have him put me on his shoulders

He definitely wont see me at all ( im 5'4) so he would definitely have to crouch down to see me

His nickname would be bear cause of how big he is

I feel like when he'’s comfortable around you he’s very out going

I have no clue how to speak german but i will act like i do

He's in the blunt rotation as well

Thats all i got for now 😊

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lunarmothmann · 2 years

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bc its fall now and im wanting an excuse to talk abt Halloween, RTC HALLOWEEN HCS!!

ive never done one of these before, but there's a first time for everything!

(these are all angst free! its all fun little ideas and stuff based off of my own friends back when we spent Halloween together)

tw : mentions of gore (nothing expicit, the word gore is just used a few times)

- Ocean and Constance HATE being scared. Constance will 100% start crying if she gets scared really bad, while Ocean will just fall on the ground and refuse to get up until the immediate threat is gone (even tho she is completely safe)

- Penny loves Halloween for the sole reason of scaring the absolute shit out of Constance and Ocean. she plans it out WEEKS in advance, and the other two dread it bc Penny can be really scary when she wants to be

- Noel also hates being scared, but he blows it off, despite always flinching whenever he gets scared. one time, Penny hid in a bush and grabbed him by the ankles when he wasn't looking and he screamed so loud that everyone outside just. stopped. and stared at him.

- Mischa, Penny, and Noel all love one thing when it comes to Halloween, and that's gore. We already know Mischa loves gorey movies like Saw, and Penny just has twisted vibes, but Noel has a dark sort of humor that makes it so he can enjoy the more grotesque parts of the holiday, aside from the more family-friendly stuff

- the whole group still goes trick or treating, mainly for Penny and Ricky's sake, but they all have fun

- Ricky makes everyone's costumes, he asks everyone 2 months in advance what they want and then goes HAM

- Penny picks the most obscure things as costumes. she's like "I wanna be a vacuum" and Ricky just goes with it

- Mischa has absolutely gone as Ash from The Evil Dead before. He wore it multiple years in a row and was pretty upset when he outgrew it (bc theyre teenagers and growth spurts happen). otherwise my man is always someone from a horror movie. Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, you pick.

- Constance and Ocean are usually pretty basic with their costumes, typically going as witches, zombies, etc etc.

- Noel is just constantly going as iconic women in queer media/cult classics. Heather Chandler from Heathers (probably the musical version), one of the Sandersons from Hocus Pocus (either Winifred or Sarah), etc. He's fr running out of ideas.

- Ricky is a cat. every single year. but it just gets gradually more realistic until it eventually gets CGI Cats level freaky.

- i feel like its a universal experience for someone to trip and fall while trick or treating every year. do I even need to say it? its Ocean. every year, without fail, Ocean wipes out on Halloween. she's mainly unphased, aside from being slightly scraped up, but now the whole group makes jokes abt when they think she'll fall

- they all have a movie marathon where they each pick one movie and just eat candy and hang out. they usually pick the same movie every year.

- Ricky picks Ghostbusters. I dont need to elaborate.

- Penny picks Corpse Bride. i hc she likes animated movies, and its a classic.

- Noel picks Rocky Horror Picture Show. like, come on. it makes sense.

- Ocean picks Hocus Pocus. it literally isn't scary at all (which is one reason why she picks it) and she believes its the "superior Halloween movie"

- Constance pick Nightmare Before Christmas. its just a fun movie that everyone enjoys, regardless of the "Halloween movie vs Christmas movie" debate that the group has EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. (they watch it for both. it literally doesn't matter)

- Mischa picks Saw V (even tho the movie he describes in rtc is Saw VI). he gets confused EVERY YEAR wondering where certain parts that he remembered are, never realizing he picked the wrong movie. nobody corrects him.

- it always turns into a sleepover, whether they plan on it or not. its either at Mischa's or Constance's, so its not an uncommon thing for there to be at least 1 random teenager in their house at any given time.

im out of ideas, I might make a part 2 eventually but thats it for rn :)

#ride the cyclone #rtc #ocean rtc #noel rtc #jane doe rtc #mischa rtc #ricky rtc #constance rtc #rtc headcanons #rtc hc #god my brain is so full of them #my favorite fictional dead choir #i might make more hc posts #we'll see ig

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en-chi-la-da · 6 months

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Hinadam and Hinasouda. Gimme (it's alr if you don't wanna)

i dont feel like drawing anything rn anon im srry but here's some shippy word vomit:

HINASOUDA: (during island mode) whenever hajime visits kazuichi's cottage it's always a fricking MESS, hajime has to bribe kaz to move his ass to try and clean it so they don't step on stray nails every two steps (he mostly bribes him with going for food or visiting the electricity avenue or military base) they can pretend they aren't dates but. we know. kazuichi likes having his hair stroked/played with and hajime is happy to oblige too bad it's so greasy most of the time lmao hajime tries to get kaz to shower/wash his hands more often so he isn't constantly smelling of various oils whenever he gets close, but sometimes kazuichi will sneak up on him and rub his dirty grabby handprints all over hajime's clothes. for the lol's ;) (except it's immediately not funny afterwards god dammit kaz do you know how hard it is to get grease/oil stains out of a WHITE BUTTON UP SHIRT FUCK) kazuichi quickly makes sure to shower and/or put fresh overalls on before going to hang with his soul bro <3

HINADAM: (during island mode) whenever hajime visits gundham's cottage the devas like to crawl ALL over him and his clothes, he worries that one of them may fall but rest assured, these are no ordinary hamsters in the first place! >:) (besides gundham likes to show them off and have them do epic tricks half the time anyways they've got the grip strength lmao) they also like to be near hajime bc they know how attached their dark master has gotten to him :)c he gets the dark deva seal of approval! sometimes gundham attempts to give hajime's hair a few pets, it's definitely awkward and confusing at first, but once hajime lets himself lean into it they both start to enjoy it (gundham also likes to have his head pat but he'll never admit it lol) gundham mostly prefers for hajime to tell him before he touches him or grabs him so that he can prepare his POISONED body for it (not so much in a touch aversion kind of way but more so for overstimulation) but gundham will occasionally reach for hajime's hand on his own or lean more into haji's space as his comfort level increases (without the need for a grand speech abt "charging their power together" beforehand lol) <3

#hope you like this nonsense anon! these turned into mostly personal hc's of mine lol #i've got more anon but this was getting too long lol maybe next time 👋🏼#hinadam #hinasouda #souhinadam #SIGH my blorbo boys uwu

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kooktrash · 8 months

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One thing ive always hated about smoking is the need to “normalize” it (at least from what ive seen my whole life) idk if ill be explaining well this enough lmao but we’ll see 😂 i have always seen/heard, whenever someone smokes (especially a celebrity), youll have a shit load of ppl going “it’s normal”, “everyone does it” etc. & it kinda pisses me off lol. Maybe i would feel a different way if i didnt grow up around smokers, bc of that, it truly ruined my health from the constant smoke growing up and it was just seen as normal?? Im 21 now and my health is still affected by it & evryone is just like “oh well 🤪” i even have friends who smoke and there will times where we all hang out & the few who do smoke will just do it right then & there & get a bit pissy when i ask to take it outside and once again the same remarks get brought up.

Now obviously not everyone is like this!!⬆️ but only ever being around ppl like that makes me think “do you just not care for the ppl around you??” . Im probably not making too much sense lmao & this isnt to bash anyone who does smoke. I was feeling this way bc of the armys im constantly seeing saying those same remarks regarding jk-“we all do it”, “it’s normal”. Idk, to me they are just as annoying as the armys who baby him doing this. Who cares if he smokes, let him make the decisions he wants. i just hate the normalcy of smoking as a whole & seeing it constantly now brought the feelings back for me lmao😭😭

idk it is a normal thing tho bc you’ll know at least one or two ppl In Your life who smoke. you might not like that’s it’s normalized but it is, always has been since it was invented and I hate to say it but not everyone is considerate of others and once again that’s just life. does it make it right? idk personally idk bc everyone I know who smokes never does it indoors and I have asthma so it affects me too but like I said it is normal

ppl are taking him smoking wayyyyy too personal [not you] and it’s never that deep I’m sorry

like I said you don’t have to support it but just bc you don’t like it or support it doesn’t mean you have to make people who do it feel bad [once again not saying but just ppl in general]

#‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ inbox ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙𖤐

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sillygreenrat · 3 months

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I have some more smokeybat headcanons, got inspired now

#. Sam gets a big crush on Uzi, he wants to try impress her and hang out with her. So he tries asking her out whenever he can, Uzi oblivious to his crush agrees and hangs out with him a lot.

#. Uzi shows him anime and he ends up liking anime quite a lot, his favourite type being chill slice of life or the cooking anime. Makes him jealous they can't eat like humans can

#. He makes her a badge of their favourite anime character for her to wear on her beanie.

#. Sam is a talented artist and has a sketch book full of drawings and abstract work too. When he on magnets is when some his most colourful work is done. He has a very detailed drawing of Uzi he keeps special. It's of her in class reading, she looked so pretty that day.

#. Sam got a bit jealous when Thad started talking to Uzi , he could see Uzi seemed to like him a bit and was a little sad by that. He got more upset when N showed up because he could definitely see Uzi big crush on him.

#. He talk with Uzi about N and he encourages her to tell him how she feels, being a wingman.

#. Sam writes a love note to Uzi along with a drawing and sends it to her anonymously, hoping to impress her. He was too scared to sign it.

I have more if you like to listen to it

i am SO sorry for taking so long on these lmfao???? i really wanted to think abt these. tysm for sending me all of these delightful thoughts to grab and run with i would absolutely be willing to hear more

1 + 5: it was a crush that's been there since the begining, uzi was always kinda cute and charming, the way she interupted class with sarcastic wit on occasion, the way she would go above and beyond what the assignments were just to have her own fun. sam has always been the more quiet, shut in type, always following rules, never usually being the type to speak up or make a sound, but whenever uzi does something particularly silly he can't help but laugh a little (and boy shes a whole fucking circus so lemmie tell you). though he had to eventually start making moves once thad god involved.

for the record, i do NOT ship thad n uzi, i get it as a ship, but it just aint my thing, however im a big fan of unrequitted love, and i can absolutely see uzi just not being interested in the popular jock type (shes more into the silent stoner type COUGH COUHG(J)), seeing thad as more of a close friend due to him being so caring when no one else seemed to be.

unfortunately for sam the only time he was able to fully talk and get to know uzi was AFTER she was already introduced to his oil (lmfao)

2: this dude wants to eat so bad, let this man manifest some robot mac n cheese for his ass. its not 'hunger' but its like, some fuckin program malfunction due to the magnets that you could compare to stoner munchies but lord does he get angry when uzi puts on a ghibli or some shit and they start makin ramen or some shit.

on the topic of anime tho uzi would absolutely be into anime and try and get sam (and by extention N and possibly V) into anime

current hyperfixation is firmly beliving shes be a nutcase over jujutsu kaisen (would love the curses and their vibe of 'we wanna take over humanity' but the humans are pretty cool too she GUESSES) but i think shed also be into shit like kill la kill, evangelion, maybe even a smidge of ouran on the side bc damn it she wants to be surrounded by a buncha cute boys (and low and behold be projecting trasmasc feelings onto uzi but boy she'd feel a sense of 'man i bet i could pull off a suit' and she WOULD)

3 + 4: him being obsessed w/ drawing n stuff is honestly a small headcanon i had personally!!!!! glad its a thing for another person ugh (positive) he would totally pay attention to the characters she hyperfixates on and go CRAZY making her posters and small keychain hangers and such (probably has an old laminator in his house that he uses to seal the all to keep them from getting ruined). i like to imagine he likes to draw/paint skyscapes, trying to find really interesting cloud formations or spots where the moon shines through them to draw cuz he thinks that kinda shits beauitufl, would absolutely love earth sky's so fucking much let this man see them

6 + 7: N IS BEST WINGMAN. i ship all of them together in one homoginous poly so i can confirm this happened and it was real. would absolutely help sam before he even considered allowing his feelings for uzi show

#fitz posting #fitz answers shit #murder drones #md #sam murder drones #uzi murder drones #n murder drones #smokeybats #bluntbiscuits #smokeybiscuitbites #these drones take up!!!!!!!!!!#my brain space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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pinkpastels113 · 18 days

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So like, what's the best thing your crush could have said while still turning you down? I'm flattered doesn't seem so bad to me

-with a smiley face and that she appreciates me saying that

and we are missing the bigger picture here. she led me on (attested to by many of my friends who knew about this) and was calling me pet names like "bae, babe, mi amor," and saying "i love you" (out of nowhere and like we do not hang out outside of work so like we are barely friends outside of being coworkers) and shit like that and just looking at me the way friends do not look at each other and just making me feel like she was kinda interested in me as well. she gets jealous whenever i talk about how someone else is attractive, especially men (im bi), said that im a catch, "a hottie in a hot bod" and literally follows me around everywhere i go. starts touching me more frequently as soon as she figured out that my love language is physical touch, started saying cute shit as soon as i told her it's right above words of affirmation. and mind you, she was not like that at all when i first met her or like that with anyone else, she was usually pretty quiet and kept to herself and doesnt share anything about herself outside of work.

but all of that can be pushed aside. i am not forcing/expecting and will never force/expect anyone to like me, especially after being on the receiving end of "confessions" and hearing them say "but why doesnt she like me???? im tall, fit, go to the gym, and do good in school" what made it bad was that she would tease me incessantly to the point of making me feel like shit, and think that im joking around all the time, that im pouting or whatever when i tell her point blank that im mad/sad/upset/that she's being mean, and that just because i smile at her (which she would literally wheedle out of me) or hug her (bc for some reason i would feel bad sometimes about being upset with her??? when it's my emotions??) i forgive her, when that is not the case. she would say im sorry sometimes, when she's seen that im pissed or she's hit a nerve, but in this weird voice and tone that implies that she's sorry that im mad/upset (bc when i am i am not as affectionate and "cute" or whatever, and my default mood at work is cheerful/friendly and she wants it back??) not of what she said. and there was a time i think where ive explained to her exactly why i wasnt my usual self too and she just... brushes it off?

so my mood/emotions would be literally up and down up and down like a damn roller coaster whenever we work together with her stupid teasing and pet names and "i love you so much's" and touching/loving words, and i would be so confused and sad over what was going on, and cry on the days that were bad. i obv didnt tell her why it affected me so much, bc that involved my crush on her, but just to a normal coworker/friend i feel like you should realize when's the time to stop, especially when i have flat out told you that im mad/sad/upset/that you're being mean or whatever. you know?

and there was no way that she didnt notice that i am not as affectionate and touchy and complimentary and stuff with my other coworkers compared to her.

and so in the response to my confession after that sentence of "im flattered" and that she appreciates me saying that ive fucking had a crush on her for a year and a half and had felt awful at work that day (a bad day in which i had originally planned to confess in-person), she asked me to tell her about what happened specifically that made me feel bad "so that (she) can move forward."

so yeah, in reply to your question anon, i think i was just hoping for a little bit of empathy.

#she also hadnt specifically said she doesnt like me that way which i personally feel like was needed for me to move on #she just... said im flattered #with a damn smiley face?? like she enjoyed the attention #but whatever lol im over it and its petty to hate someone over this #i just want to let out my feelings and move on now #wenz can talk #anon ask #and also for those ts fans out there too she’d absolutely trashed on her before i got SO pissed and she backed off

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homophyte · 22 days

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thank you for the long & thought out response. while i do fully agree with you on stances like prison abolition & the myth of the stranger pedophile scapegoat, my question and discomfort with jimmy’s actions comes not so much from a political/philosophical standpoint but from a very human emphatic one. i put myself in the shoes of the girl he groomed and abused and imagine people listening to and enjoying the music of my abuser and it makes me sick to my stomach. so thats more where my guilt and discomfort comes from. that said i can’t say that their music doesn’t have an impact or isn’t enjoyable. i also agree with you that this mass outrage and very public renunciation and demand for punishment is very much a social mechanism and automatic reaction that quite simplifies a complex situation. however these mechanisms exist for a certain evolutionary purpose after all (sorry my background is psychology) but thats sort of besides the point because im also not a fan of how these things get handled with zero nuance.

its also true what you said that me or you or anyone deciding to disengage with this band or their music changes nothing in the grand scheme of things, so doing it as some sort of Noble Cause against abuse is useless. so in this case i feel it’s up to personal preference and whether or not i can swallow the cognitive dissonance and discomfort this information arises in me whenever i listen to their music from now on.

thanks again for the insightful response, i’m glad we can have this sort of discussion because i also think this topic is extremely important but people often shy away from it because it’s so heavy.

im glad you asked me to share! like i said ive spent a lot of time thinking abt this specifically so its very much like years worth of mishmash thoughts kinda strung together only by me experiencing them over time in succession lol. but i agree its important to talk about it especially within a culture so ensnared in the logic of the prison and particularly how effectively thats been exported into like 'mob justice' for lack of a better word.

re: the emotive aspect im not sure i have much to say other than like Yeah its a very strong one and i dont think its a bad thing at all to have. i got the impression from ur ask--and idk how true this is--that you were wrestling between a desire to return to the music bc you enjoyed it and that response preventing you and feeling a sort of obligation to do one over the other n struggling with that. so i think i approached it as like 'heres ways you can reason w that emotional response and grapple w it if its smth ur agonizing over' or something like that. im also a firm believer in the ways politics shapes the ways we think n feel so my instinct was to tease out some of the structures that may be shaping ur thought processes--which of course i nor anyone but you can fully know. but i dont get that same sense from how u describe it here and either way i think whatever feeling ur having about it is like...i dont want to say its 'valid' but ur allowed to have that and do whatever you want pretty much lol. i cant and am not going to force anyone to engage w the band and theres probably more reasons than i could think to list why its not for everyone even without the sordidness of abuse hanging over it.

without getting into a much much broader discussion i would gently push back on the idea of a biologically innate reason for the existence of carceral/punitive logics (and frankly psychology more broadly), if only bc it does a lot of the work of justifying them. keep in mind that these are concepts ideas and patterns of thought that exist because they serve systems of power and particularly the state. we did not have to have a society which created them, we only happen to--which is to say theyre not innate in this way and i disagree that they have an 'evolutionary' purpose bc it fails to properly historicize them. but thats me coming from an antipsych position lol

#asks #frankly for me its like....sometimes we do feel that emotional reaction n sometimes we dont #and im interested in where the difference is or where the line is drawn #some things are considered 'too big to fail' theres plenty of other much more influential musicians that have equal or worse allegations #but nowhere near the same response #and part of this is just 'size' its much more effective to do this to a smaller artist n a smaller community than like potential millions #of say michael jackson fans right. so part of this for me is yeah why does jimmy urine make ppl feel so strongly #and again part of it is 'size' msi is smaller its like 'cult classic' music for lack of a better word and its obviously evidently queer #so u can weaponize that extant fear of queer ppl and within the queer community of people fearing us #thats not to like diagnose that as something going on w u just that like....the emotional response itself is politically complicated #is what im going for here #so sorry i gave u a bunch a lot of stuff that may not have had anything to do with how ur feeling . i was thinking about other shit #im glad u appreciated though lol!

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skz4thgenleaders14 · 11 months

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I'm 14 and my family treats me like sht. am I overreacting?

TW!!! mentions of $h, su!c!de and mental health.

Okay so im 13 turning 14 in 20 days so basically 14. Me and my family have had issues in the past but it seems like they make fun of me for a hobby. First of all, im extremely interested in kpop especially the popular groups such as skz, bts, txt and my family constantly makes fun of me and calls me an asian lover which makes me super uncomfortable because im trying to just enjoy the music and support the idols and they call me severely nasty names on a daily basis that i will not being saying here. Since i was 12 turning 13 so back in 2022 i struggled with self harm, ed and looking after myself. My siblings would call me an emo lesbian that cuts and they also made comments like "shut up you'll kill yourself before you even make it to year 10" (im in year 8 as of right now). it hurts because they know what im going through and one of my siblings who says it even has experienced the same thing but thats no excuse to call me horrendous names. My parents are as equally bad they tell me im attention seeking and i just needa snap out of it. I attemped to end my life twice and haven't opened up to anybody about it because whenever i would ask to have a chat they would say "dont start this shit again" or "here we go again" and simply brush it off. The thing that affected me the most was when i start to have good days and feel comfortable about my body and scars my parents would point out my self harm and when I would politely tell them to stop they would say "well thats your fault for doing it where people can see maybe next time you should do it where we cant see" and I'd get called a cow, bitch, brat etc. This also overlaps on my drama at school. Im in the process of moving schools but its not definent. at my current school my friend tries to compete w me w mental health, she even admits she tries to act 'depressed' and 'emo'. she brushes off my feelings and acts as if shes the 'left out' main character yet i follow her everywhere,hangout with her, defend her, help her out yet its not enough for her. one day i decided to hang w one of my friends in class bc ive had enough of doing stuff for her without appreciation and she got mad and avoided me and started victim playing so i attempted to run away at snack break but when the attendence got taken the email went thru to my parents and they called me telling me to get back in class. everyone at school hates me because my bully moved schools after bullying me in year 6 and said some nasty shit about me. i also struggle from an ed and i have severe body dysmorphia but my parents tell me to 'just eat' or to 'just stop eating' depending if its a binge day or the opposite. my so called friend makes me ucomfortable and thinks mental health is enjoyable aswell as self diagnosing herself. i want to run away from everything but im lost and i dont know what to do. am i overreacting or is my family and friends actual assholes??

#self h@rm #mental health #mentalheathawareness #help plz #parents #friends #14 years old

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phagvision · 2 months

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how did u realize that u were a lesbian?

ever since i was a kid, girls were the only thing that i was affected by in da whole world, really i was obsessed, freaky, would stare at the girls in my class twenty-four-hours..would do anything 2 get their attention, but i was also very shy around them, i would drawn them, try to make them laugh..imagine wht would feel like to touch them, be with them, get closer WHATVER I JUST THOUGHT I WAS REALLY WEIRD

1st girl i remember having actual feelingz for was when i was arround idk 6-7years old, her name was mariana. what really got me going about her wasn't how pretty she was, but really her smile cause she had little dimples and i thought it was cute, the way she was quirky..left me fascinated like she was strange forreal but sooo funny, so i would try really hard to impress her, 2 the point i failed math class because i knew she was also bad at math and by doing that i'd be able 2 get in private classes, by her side, same class..just da two of us.. BTW SHE DIDNT GAVE A SHIT ABOUT ME BUT I WAS SOOO IN LOVE

whenever i heard my friends talk abt boys they had a crush on i wanted 2 kms in front of them cause I COULDN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY SAW IN BOYS so i felt like a freak most of da time.. funny now but back then it was terrifying 2 get asked who i had a crush on cause i didn't thought about boys, i just thought about other girls but couldnt say shit, oh so men.. what is there 2 say about them? 😹😹 they were just there, growing up, bois had a thing 4 me and i would get weirded out by it, i was just indifferent, i had many friends who were bois, would hang out with them just normal. boys did wanted me to be their gf which is insane bc i got asked out like 3 times by these men and i could nawt evr possible feel the same, so ive rejected a lot of men in dis lifetime..its funny looking back how t fuc i pulled men looking the way i look tf maybe they were all gay and confused or they were into lesbianz i dont Fuckin know okay alexa play pink triangle by weezer..

when i was around 14-15, i had this thing with this straight girl in highschool, we almost kissed at some point but she said she had a crush on this man.. and i cried a lot likee that one brought me 2 my knees i was down bad..i even tried 2 hook them up because i jst wanted 2 stop crying over her n get over with it quickly (will byers moment) when i thought i got over it because i was like naahh i can't be doing this gay shit anymore cause all i do is fall for these straight gurls im not a dyke can Gawd just make me straight already gawd pleasee ( internalized homophobia? who tf knows i did spent 1 year in a catholic school and YES I DID FALL FOR MY 48YO BIBLE STUDIES TEACHER ) anyways thee straight girl found me at a supermarket one year later.. we we're not in highschool anymore..mind you i was with my niece there and SHE SAW ME getting all shy in front of her and then later my niece was like itz okay if ur gay..a dyke whtv i was just wondering how i could make myself dissapear that day. da straight girl was like hiiii..how are youu.. SHE ONLY SAID THAT and all those feelings came back, her name was debora, never saw again, lost her contact. gawd bless her soul. hope her and her man have beautiful kids 2gether👍

#thanks 4 asking anon #what was it like 4 you tho?#i never had a “realization” i just accepted ( tried to )#I HAD 2 THUG THAT SHIT OUT #seedavision #just_lesbo_and_real

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