#i dont go here anymore and i stan her what kind of gay......................................................................................
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thoughts on alec? since this is mainly a magnus blog i guess i'm curious.
kfjlkfgjd thanks for resending sorry tumblr’s a bitch ily
eh i feel like generally i talk mostly about magnus bc Every Other Blog (not literally obviously but like, in general) talks about Only Alec just like…..24/7
so while i like him fine, he’s like, mostly Magnus’s Love Interest on my blog lghjflgkhjfgh but honestly just generally while i do like him i honestly don’t find him that….interesting, individually, i guess? i mean he’s not quite boring, but he’s not a character i really relate to
so the reason i don’t really write alec-centric stuff is like. 1. i just don’t find him as interesting (although i’ve had a few ideas, they’ll likely never be published thanks to…) 2. Spite
aka the alec stans suck. the Alec Stans™ to be clear, the ones who suck, not everyone who likes alec. but like, yeah
anyway let’s not just talk salt and me being petty, despite alec being not my fave i can afford to answer one (1) ask without my entire blog crumbling down and revealing i’ve been an alec stan this whole time without me even knowing it
ok so alec headcanons i guess
1. alec was a chatty kid. not what you’d think, right? but then like, he was taking care of izzy, bc she’s his baby sister and Protective, and jace wasn’t really the type to listen to him. like, ever. alec would suddenly realize jace hadn’t been listening the whole time pretty much every time he tried to have a conversation with him or talk about things he was interested in, even when he listened when jace talked about his latest crush or whatever he was interested in. alec started abruptly going quiet before his sentence was finished, and jace didn’t seem to notice or was just like oh good you’re finally done talking, here’s what i was gonna say. eventually alec gives up. he still talks to izzy but she’s so little it’s a lot slower paced and he usually pays more attention to her than what he wants to say bc Baby Sister. by the time izzy’s old enough to like, properly, hold a conversation (she is also pretty chatty) alec’s already gone a lot quieter. by the time we see him, he basically doesn’t initiate conversation on things he’s interested in that aren’t work-related. he does still sometimes talk to izzy, but it’s hard to get the words out and get everything sounding right, so he gets annoyed with himself. it doesn’t come as easy anymore.
and not to show my magnus stan roots but magnus is kind of similar, albeit way less clear cut, he tends to ramble and talk a lot about his special interests only to shut himself up when he realizes he’s definitely boring whoever he’s talking to (he isn’t, necessarily, but after enough times being told to shut up when you get excited you believe everyone wants you to shut up.) and then he was trying to keep up the whole classy unaffected stylish “def not an adorkable disaster bi nerd, i am dangerous deadly unaffected lothario man who has never even heard of star trek or whatever” facade, and rambling about whatever interested him didn’t really fit that. so he retreated more into himself, too. he did have his friends to talk to, but catarina is so busy and he doesn’t want to bother her and raphael doesn’t want to hear his foolish old dad ramble on, does he, and ragnor–he’d always put up with magnus’s babble, and listened, but magnus felt like he was boring him and then ragnor was–well.
anyway so to united these, then, they met each other. and it takes a while, but they get comfortable with each other. magnus goes on a long ramble about a potion he’s been trying to get just right and then cuts himself off, embarrassed, and apologizes for probably boring alec, and alec’s like what? no, that was really interesting, i was listening, can you explain the thing with the mandrake root? and magnus is like…oh.. (also side note: magnus is incredibly cute when rambling about things he’s interested in, he waves his hands a lot and his eyes are all excited and warm and he’s so lively, and clearly passionate, that it’s engaging and pulls you in. like a really good professor. and sometimes he starts talking about something way above most people’s heads without realizing how Smart he is, but if you ask him to clarify he’s like, totally non-condescending and explains it in creative and understandable way????? sorry im in love with adhd magnus thanks to someone anyway)
and then vice versa, alec slowly feels more comfortable talking about things that interest him, like a book he’s been reading and how it’s so fucking stupid the heroine went for the “blonde bad boy” when he’s such a dick to her, or whatever, like it starts as an angry rant about something but before he can cut himself off he realizes magnus is listening. like, actually listening. and like, if it’s appropriate, magnus will ask questions, engage in what alec’s talking about, and alec finds himself getting better at putting to words what he means and magnus is never mean about it, always patient and understanding
2. as a kid alec read romance novels. cheesy shitty fun romance novels. especially the ones that are like, written by women (or better, queer people, but that’s later) and aren’t weird? you know what i mean? and he loved them. romance was something young alec dreamed of a lot, even if he tried to ignore how he preferred tall, dark, and handsome to the main character, or the kind man the heroine fell in love with to the heroine herself. he hid trashy romance novels like most teen boys his age (including jace) hid porn magazines or whatever. he eventually maybe found some queer lit, but he didn’t dare to bring those back to the institute, instead choosing to go to the library the few times he had free time to sneak out (aka when he wasn’t working, sleeping, training, or watching izzy and jaces’ backs when they snuck out to clubs and shit.
also: 3. also i stand by the fact that alec wasn’t in denial about being gay. he wasn’t repressed, he knew exactly what he wanted and who he was, he just didn’t think it was possible for him to be with a man and be happy.
4. alec isn’t a sweet innocent baby boy!!!! he’s seen porn, he knows how sex works, he’s masturbated, and honestly i know the show said otherwise but i find it hard to believe he never once fooled around even a little bit. just a little bit. no actual dating? not hard to believe at all. even being a “virgin” despite how outdated and terrible the concept is, not unbelievable. plenty of “normal” people reach college-age without ever having had sex, let alone shadowhunters raised to be demon-fighting soldiers. but like. look. he has the Energy. alec….Alec Fucks. also just something about the whole like, his siblings are always sneaking off to clubs and he follows them to watch their backs (is this canon or just common fanon? i honestly don’t remember) just screams to me hey, he may or may not have made out with an adventurous seelie or a mundane with eyes. or maybe a blowjob or a handjob, who knows. i’m JUST SAYING. i know this isn’t canon but i don’t care. alec lightwood has seen a dick
5. alec is ridiculously protective of people he loves. especially family (both in the sense of literal family like izzy, and family in the sense of “making your own family” like magnus) like he’d kill for them, he’d die for them, he’d live forever for them,
6. alec can and will become immortal for magnus. and not just literally only for magnus, for himself as well–like he doesn’t have to spend the rest of his life being a tool for the clave, he can work for better relations between downworlders and shadowhunters, and like accords that aren’t shitty, and he can be more than just another soldier or even head of the institute, he can be more and have time to actually spend time on himself, like it doesn’t have to be training-work-protect his siblings-sleep-training, and then one day he gets married and has kids and dies. he can actually experience the world, do things he enjoys, spend time with his husband, and most of all, he can spend the rest of his life with magnus bane, the love of his life, his husband, someone he loves so much. he can make sure magnus’s heart doesn’t get broken again by falling in love only to lose him. they get their happy ending, you know???? we stan
7. alec would be a great dad i dont know what to tell you he just would be
8. one of the first kinks alec realized he really had like. with magnus. was office sex. yes im a slut what about it
this is bc he was minding his own business, doing paperwork at his desk, and magnus maybe sent a flirty text and alec was like mm i want to fuck him right now. and then he was staring at his desk thinking mm i want to bend him over this desk, sweep all this paper off the desk and rip off his clothes, take off his panties last and then lick his pussy until he’s begging for me to fuck him then press his chest down against the desk and fuck him until he screams. maybe i could tie his wrists behind his back with a tie. like i’m his boss? oh my god magnus in a secretary outfit. shit. he gets no work done that day. it’s just a rabbit hole of one thought to another until he’s like. sitting there hard and unable to focus on his work bc the mental image of magnus bent over in a skirt over his desk keeps playing his mind and he doesn’t want to do this paperwork he’d much rather be doing his husband.
9. alec loves making out with magnus on the couch like they’re just chilling and watching a movie and cuddling and alec loves to pull magnus into his arms and just make out. like literally not even “this ends in sex and gets hot and heavy” literally just magnus in his arms. and they kiss a lot. it’s soft and warm and relaxing tbh
10. magnus!!! and alec!!! cuddling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they both love it!!!!!! they’re both lowkey touch-starved!!!!!!
11. alec’s a dom top and that’s that my dudes
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𝓻𝓪𝓺'𝓼 ( 𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕧𝕖 ) 𝓹𝓵𝓸𝓽 𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 001
hey y’all it’s me, lowering the bar for us all. here’s the plot list i’ve been promising but have yet to do. hopefully this one turns out way more organized and aesthetically pleasing than the trash bin that was my other one. you’re more than welcome to snatch up something that’s open ( just shoot me a dm ) ooooooor , lmk if i missed any plots because spoilers i definitely will so no i didn’t drop plots, i’m just a forgetful idiot!! you’ll also find all the resources to everything you’ll ever need to know about my muses below as well. see something you don’t vibe with anymore? tell me lets change things up. alright, yee? yee.
last updated : 4/1/2020
𝔻𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝔻𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘 / 23
normani. cis-female. she/her. ／ dove darling just pulled up blasting pressing me by rico nasty — that song is so them ! you know, for a twenty three year old actress/musician, i’ve heard they’re really stubborn, but that they make up for it by being so vivacious . if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say early 2000s r&b playlists, princess cut diamonds, and shiny lipgloss over perfectly lined lips . here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble !
intro here.
pinterest tba.
vc: doja cat & normani
she’s a hollywood starlite but also kinda a meme. daughter of an actor and a socialite -- dove comes from bunches of money. she’s a bit spoiled, but that doesn’t really make her any less friendly. tends to expect people to like her cause she’s so good at pretending. still, she balances that with being genuine. often described as surprisingly quirky in the media dove is honestly too fucking silly for her own good. probably anime trash on the low. your pr team’s wet dream thanks to her squeaky clean public reputation . just because she’s never been caught doing something bad -- definitely does not mean she’s an angel by any means.
current connections:
best / close friends: nathalia, kaia , maeve, adore, valentina, parker, heather, jack, allie, ashley , korday
current pr boyfriend : brodie
ex childhood best friend: milena
enemies; becca , zar, & cassie? i guess.
ex on good terms: rhett
exes on bad terms: ricki
fwb: damian
flirtationship: logan
party friends: xavi
ex fiance: harris
wanted connections:
party friends aka people dove really only hangs with in passing, usually after a few drinks .
ex on bad terms there probably aren’t many of these ! but, give her one that just really doesn’t like her bc they dated after her engagement was called off and she was more emotionally unavailable than ever.
ex pr relationships: self explaintory but, i’d like to see maybe one where they fell for her and she’s like “lmao this is fake... relax.”
enemies ! the more the better to balence out how many friends she has skajafs
anything else!
ℕ𝕠𝕖𝕝 𝕃𝕒𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕥 / 22
― chance perdomo. he/him. cismale. ／ noel laurent just pulled up blasting a boy is a gun by tyler, the creator — that song is so them ! you know, for a(n) twenty-two year old rapper, i’ve heard they’re really reckless, but that they make up for it by being so altruistic. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say rolled up sleeves on an oversized sweater, missed 2am calls, messy notebooks filled with lyrics. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble !
intro here
pinterest tba
vc: kevin abstract
aka gay panic . my mother trucking baby. period. too kind to ever really stand up for himself. my one muse that is definitely a pacifist and avoids confrontation at all costs -- unless you’re coming for someone he loves. ( but tbh even then he doesn’t really want smoke sgkads) literally just a sweet boy. super soft inside and out, loyal to a fault, and overall well meaning. nurturer / dad friend . will often ignore his own problems simply for what he thinks is the greater good of his friends. selfless to a fault. tendency to fall into bad situations thanks to his reckless nature and inability to say no.
current connections:
best / close friends: xavi , future iridescence boys, valentina, milena, brodie, maeve, nathalia,
ex on bad terms: ricki
neighbor / light meaningless admiration : harris
past fwb: zar, heather
he’s scared of them: parker lmao
past hookups: valentina
friendzoned friends : kaia
flirtationship: adore
people he produces for: lavender, korday
wanted connections:
his sister.. listed on the main but lmk if you ever want more info on that!
more of the irridesence boys ( deadass the next person who brings one of them will get free dash icons from me. any style. i’m begging. bribery? it works ! )
unlikely friends !
exes on bad terms and good terms.
people he produces for .
anything else your sweet lil head desires !
𝕊𝕔𝕠𝕥𝕥𝕪 𝕊𝕥.𝕁𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤 / 23
luke hemmings. cismale. he/him. ／ scotty st.james just pulled up blasting despicable by grandson — that song is so them ! you know, for a(n) twenty-three year old musician, i’ve heard they’re really detached ,but that they make up for it by being so venturesome . if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say old guitars, the smell of cigarettes and bourbon, and hundred dollar bills thrown in the air . here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble ! ( it’s me! the raq )
intro
pinterest here
vc: 5sos / luke hemmings
a hot.... mess tbh. scott’s been through so much so he’s really guarded , over protective , and self loathing as hell. tendency to keep everyone at an arms length unless you’re someone very special to him and does not deal well with whatever he deems betrayal. though, that doesn’t stop him from being an absolute buffoon when it comes to seriously committing. as a side effect though, if you’re on the list of people he really fucks with he will fight for you. also, will fight cause he’s short tempered and shit at expressing himself. really fears abandonment seriously. lowkey scared of the dark eye -- :( he’s such a sweet boy on the inside but outwardly a prick like 99.9% of the time.
current connections:
best / good friends: brodie , harris , maeve , gus and parker
enemies: xavi, remy ( eh? debatable )
acquaintances ( aka friends but he’s too much of a dick to claim them ): cassie, ashley, heather??, kaia??
ex on really bad terms: genevieve / nathalia / korday
adoptive sibling: stas
childhood girlfriend / something really complicated : maeve
friends: ricki
wanted connections:
unrequited crush on him because im sure he milked that bc he wants affection w/o the commitment
party “friends” friends is so loose because he... never calls more than like 4 ppl his friend but he treats them like friends akass
a very bad ex pr relationship that he publicly cheated on so they could end things because he literally can’t fucking stan pr shit akjdfas
neighbors !
an enemies with benefits Perhaps? dont see that going further than they bicker but also smash ig sakfdjafd
anything else !
#i kinda hate this graphic#i think i forgot to color noel's photo BUT OH WELL#connections list#be proud of me i finally did this :)))#my music taste do be going off tho
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Idk if you’ve ever answered this, but I’m curious, why do you bias Johnny so hard? Messy actually made me start paying attention to Johnny more and I don’t regret it lol so thanks.
Ok so I have answered this before but I can't for the life of me find where I put it in my asks so I'll just rewrite my essay here. Bare with me it's long lmao. I remember I wrote about some physical stuff I like about him but let's take it from the top lmao.
SO I went to kcon ny 18 and I was a avid listener of NCT but I didn't really know any of the members by name or face or anything. And of course Johnny was one of the hosts because he speaks English and I was trying to find my bias and I thought maybe I would like taeyong (ppfffttt lmao) but my friends friend (who is a very toxic and gross and mean to other idols/groups) is a ty Stan and basically said "no he's mine. You can't have him. Go after Johnny or something." And I DEADASS SAID "NO HES UGLY"
Yah I thought my whole ass man was uglee 😂😂😂😂
So anyway I think around Sept or October my friend was really into NCT and was helping me to learn them and I don't remember what made me love Johnny so much specifically but it just kinda clicked.
So after that I just started biasing him so hard, he became my ult bias, and I flew all the way to Chicago for the concert just to see him cry.
So the reasons why I like him include:
Physical: BIG TOL BOIIIII. I have a thing for tol dumb goofy idiots with deep voices and big hands. A lot of my biases are like this lmao. But also BIG HANDS. His voice isn't super deep but I find it to be a nice tone in his own way. He has this cute overbite also?? Like idk why it's cute but I think it is and it makes him suck in air alot when he talks and it adds to his little lisp. (Don't @ me, I have an oral fixation ok) his smile is the cutest and makes me seo soft UM THOSE LIPS??? HI HELLO. His big ass broad shoulders??? HIS CUTE LIL PEACH BUTT??? THOSE THIGHS???? He competed with shownu on lipstick prince in a thigh separating contest and they tied one to one and shownu said it was kinda hard to beat him so this boy got STONK THIGHS. CHERRY BOMB EMO UNDERCUT JOHNNY BEING THE SUPERIOR JOHNNY??? His eyes are the most gorgeous things ever and he's made me fall in love with brown eyes. His hair always looks so floofy and soft. (Also we cannon him as having a big dick so)
Personality: A BIG ASS FUCKING AQUARIUS. so he's basically a big soft teddy bear thats extremely goofy and klutzy (which is also a majority of my biases). He puts his heart and soul into dancing on stage and masters choreography so damn well but when he dances on his own he's just...a white suburban dad trying to fit in with his teenage sons. It's soooooo bad. I am in a constant rotation of disappointment, second hand embarrassment, soft gushy lovey dovey feelings, and horniness when it comes to Johnny Suh. He's so awkward and weird like all the time and im just like WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS PLEASE STOP. He's the most extra person and can't do anything normally and with all of that he never fails to make me laugh. He's the biggest dork to exist. Also he has the best duality of man ever. On stage and in super modelesque pictures and some MVs he looks like a daddy that will tear your ass up in a heartbeat and other times he's just like (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧ and the best uwu bean. He's literally so sweet and caring to people and so passionate about his hobbies (although he really like photography he's the worst fucking videographer ever and can't keep a camera still to save his life). He's a really great leader and his relationship with the others are so cute. Marks his brother, taeils his husband, Jae's his best friend, haechan and chenle are his sons, ten and ty have big ass gay love crushes on him (same sis). And it's all so precious. He's a big ass fucking Mama's boy and his relationship with his mom is the cutest thing ever. She loves her big ass baby so much and ME TOO MRS SUH ME TOO. He'd be the sweetest and dorkiest boyfriend ever and would always try and make you feel better when you're sad and make you laugh and give tons of hugs,kisses, and affection. And even tho us sluts categorize him as a big ass Dom he'd be really sweet in bed irl. He's just too much of a goofball to be any other way.
Career wise: well this one's hard because johfam suffer a lot when it comes to Johnny's talents. He's completely overlooked and forced to get one or two lines or some hype up chorus shit and it's really annoying but we find time to support him anyway. He has a really sweet soft voice and doesn't really have a big range like taeil but it's really nice none the less AND THEN THEY SLAP AUTOTUNE ON IT AND MAKE HIM SOUND FAKE. (See highway to heaven) he can play piano/keyboard and he's so good at it and I was at least happy that at their concert Johnny had a mini solo for the transition into regular where he got the spotlight and got to play the keyboard (cries forever). THEY DONT LET HIM DJ ANYMORE AND I DONT KNOW WHY HES SO CUTE WHEN HE DJS. BRING BACK DJ JOHNNY. Also he's supposed to be a rapper? Never raps? Supposed to be a lead dancer? Gets center for like 10 seconds. One day I hope he expands into other stuff though sm doesn't really let their idols do anything else (much). Like I think he'd make a good model. He knows how to take pics well. He walks well in heels believe it or not so maybe he won't completely fall on his face on the runway. Anyway let Johnny Suh have his moment to shine and showcase his talents bc sm thinks he ain't got any and wants him to suffer.
In summary he's just really sweet, kind, funny, and caring and hes talented but overlooked so we try and give him a lot of love and support.
Tl;Dr: Johnny's great. Stan Johnny.
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GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER!
Tagged by: my lover @hammurabicomplex
I’m tagging: anyone and everyone who wants to pick this one up! share with the class if you feel like it! tag me in it!!
PRESENTING. RANDOM DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO-MUN AT 2AM ;
FIRST NAME
Good fucking question… It’s (sort-of) currently Dylann! I was Kieran before that, though; it’s still used as one of my first names and I’m not used to Dylann quite yet bc I’ve just started using it.
Indigo is one of my middle names though, and I’ve used it as an online handle elsewhere forever so I use it here now! [ Fun etymology facts: Dylan(n) is a mythology name generally meaning “born of the wave” (aspiring diver & a water witch at heart). Kieran means “little dark one” bc of my love for horror, && I chose Indigo bc as a kid to be it was neither boy (blue) or purple (girl) and was both and neither as well as my absolute favorite color as this vibrant ass mystical color. ]
STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF
hmmmmm…. I’m a horror lover at heart, so as a child (I wanna say 12), I was walking through an antique store (I have a few cool finds, I considered putting my other one as the fact tbh) and I turned the corner and I saw these two dolls staring back at me at the foot of the stairs of this antique building. my blood froze, and i felt my stomach drop. i got actual, physical goosebumps stumbling across these two creepy dolls staring back at me in the corner, and i couldn’t leave the store without them. perhaps the little painted porcelain boy would be somewhat spooky by himself if it wasn’t for the terrifying lidded gaze of the porcelain girl with the hairline fractures and slightly open lips. i cant look at her. i dont really find dolls scary, I like to find the spookier ones ones, and she makes me paranoid as hell. i keep her face covered and her up in my closet except for when i bring her out to show her off proudly as the spookiest thing I have but……. i dont really collect dolls anymore. even thinking about her brings a fearful tear to my eye. i don’t like to think about her for very long, but that’s why I’m so fucking proud to own her.
( YES — I’m THAT white person in the horror film )
TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON
hhhhh a beardy jawline, high cheekbones, crooked canine teeth >:3c
A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF
b.l.t.’s with avocado. ahhhh. my mouth is watering just thinking about it, oh my god. just a bit of salt and pepper???
A FOOD YOU HATE
barbecue anything, i hate the taste of bbq sauce, you keep your nasty black goo to yourselves at the grill. twice in my life i have presented with barbecue pizza and both times i cried literal tears. why would you do such a horrible thing to a person? what kind of a monster are you? how do you sleep at night?!
GUILTY PLEASURE
the sims. constantly. always. i’ve sunk thousands of hours into my households. oh also uhhhhhh i run two 80s horror blogs, one being a shitpost blog with occasional art of mine and one gremlin fanfic ship blog for horrible, terrible self indulgent fanfics i’ll get the courage to finish writing & post so i can be cancelled on tumblr for at some point. NO, i won’t link them. as i pretend they’re even all that hard to find, within a day i was found on both by someone i admire here a lot :’) ilu bby thnk u eternally for supporting ur local horrifying dumbass wtf
WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN
the same clothes i’ve been wearing all day usually, my sweats & long sleeve raglans or my hoodies. i like being cozy day & and out. and ugh. efoort. just throw me in a blanket in a cool room and im out.
SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS
serious relationships with some openness or poly. i wish i could fling! just not exactly easy for demisexual autistics lmao.
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE
I think I would be adopted by my grandma as a kid. It would save me some trauma but mostly I think it would get my autism diagnosed way earlier and save me angsting all these years of wondering why & thinking it’s my fault I’m struggling so much and so loud and affectionate and different in a world that i didnt fit in the same way.
ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON
when i get drunk i text people how much they mean to me in my life. does that answer your question? ahhh. i’m sometimes a cuddle monster with friends, i message people with long texts about how much they mean to me, but I sometimes really don’t like to be touched at all.
A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN
FLYPAPER. F L Y P A P E R. FLYPAPER. FLY, and, I can’t stress this enough, fucking PAPER. ( Though also Whole Nine Yards and both Re-Animator & Bride ). I have watched Flypaper already like, 5 times this week and I’m still not done, and the other movies have been on repeat for days in this household within the last year. In the past it has also been Donnie Darko & the new Nightmare on Elm Street. roast me.
FAVORITE BOOK
White Fang by Jack London. Have I actually ever finished it? No. Do I still own a copy I’ve had since childhood thru multiple dogs eating it, taking it to and from school, and highlighting and circling all the best parts of chapter one ever since I was a kid and it was too hard of a book for me to read? You bet your ass. If I ever need inspiration I just reread chapter 1. Although one of my other favorites was Broken Monsters by Lauren Beukes. But White Fang is like, a weirdly personal text. We stan London’s writing in this household.
YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE
FENNEC FOX!! I used to daydream about having my own named Shiloh when I was a lil kid. they’re adorable little things and i am obsessed. i mean, gimme any fox and im happy, marble foxes, red foxes… but I was obsessed with fennec foxes. Also tbh ferrets. I want a ferret.
TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS [IF YOU ARE AN RP BLOG, YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN SHIPS AS WELL]
Rosa & @ninetyscnds‘s Luke, Rosa & @iimpulsivity is already screaming my name, Rosa & Constantine, Jesse & Andrea from Breaking Bad, and the joker and harley of 80s sci-fi Dan & Herbert from Re-Ani. I am but a simple opossum.
PIE OR CAKE
Pie! I’ll take both pumpkin & melty apple over cake. also, cheesecake is more pie than cake soooo, pie wins.
FAVORITE SCENT
my dogs / my blanket. :’) It’s the most grounding smell in the world.
CELEBRITY CRUSH
oliver jackson-cohen, i’m fucking GAY and im angry about it. there i was, minding my own business, and i saw that asshole in a certain SHIRTLESS GIF and it AWOKE SOMETHING IN ME. dont talk to me about it, holy shit im obsessed with beardy men now god fuckkdafjaask i hate him why did he make me this gay i was perfectly fine being into girls but NOOOOOO him and his dumb hairy chest and sweet rugged face and I—— I also am obsessed with the archaeologist & television personality Josh Gates and may or may not be considering making a fan blog for him bc idk if my anthropology docuseries host is Dad or Daddy but i love him lots
IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO
I would go on a dive with anthropologists and archaeologists doing fieldwork research in the ancient cenotes of the Yucatán Peninsula. My actual dream job, catch me crying & fantasizing about being underwater documenting Mayan skulls given as offerings. Fuckkkk, I love anthropology so much!! take me anywhere in the world to immerse myself into culture & archaeology.
INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT
Introvert. I have a real life friend I see roughly once a month, and that’s it. Plenty of online relationships, I’m chatty, message me all day every day. but i dont do people well.
DO YOU SCARE EASILY
I used to! Really bad. I don’t as much anymore. I do get paranoia a lot still. Having therapists telling you that the FBI could be outside your house watching you through your windows will kind of nervous. ( no google results for: yes hello fbi i am a writer please dont put me on watchlists i just have research i need to do for this idea im working on, would you like to try again? ) I have nightmares nightly but not they never make me afraid, they just make me feel like crap. jumpscares and loud noises and seeing people reaching into their pockets dont set off as many brain alarms anymore tho!! progress haha.
IPHONE OR ANDROID
I like my android better bc of capabilities but meh
DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES
My mom, her husband & I play COD for family game night, and Silent Hill is my life’s blood. I’ve sunken hours into Sims & Skyrim, and Norman Jayden from Heavy Rain is my #1 fictional character in existence, why do i love the druggie babies
DREAM JOB
Oh… You’re asking me to pick? I’d love to be an anthropologist doing work out in the field. Underwater archaeology is peak, but I’m also heavily considering being a body recovery diver or police diver. I’d love to see myself in uniform someday, if possible. Just the thought makes me teary eyed & proud.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS
fund my person creative & educational endeavors. get myself a spooky ass abandoned house to make my own home to create in, and travel to the world’s best dive sites. just live a mild life of education, creation & exploration. that’s the dream TM.
FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE
dr. hill is a gross and whiny lil bitch this post brought to u by the miskatonic crew, how is everyone here an even worse bad guy than herbert west precious dan excluded talk shit get hit
tho john winchester from spn and both walter white & todd from breaking bad are all in my crew of hated characters. i jusT… the reani novel is difficult to read because i have to deal with this old sack of shit.
FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER
Supernatural :-)
… AND THIS CONCLUDES A DEEP DIVE WITH INDIGO!! //
#||: && the mundane ( ooc );#( get to know a bitch!! )#( this was... a lot of me rambling about weirdly personal shit at 2 am )
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rereading aftg with my dumbass opinions pt. 2 (tfc chapters 6-10)
pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3
look guys! its the highly unanticipated continuation of my reread of aftg!
chapter 6 (aka. meet this MESS of a team)
“My mother's family is French." It was a lie that probably had his British mother rolling over in her sandy grave.”
neil really never misses an opportunity to remind readers that he fucking buried his mom on the beach huh?
“A liar who practices occasional honesty. Clever. Keeps people guessing. Very effective. I would know. I do it myself, you see. Come on, then. After you.”
have i mentioned how entertaining high andrew is? because he’s funny as hell
also rereading these are fun because Nora is incredible at foreshadowing just sayin
“Neil automatically reached for his seatbelt, but one of the brothers was sitting on it.”
how neil would be in the back of the cousins’ car if they let him:
“You?" Neil said. "You can't." Andrew's smile curved wider. "Ohhh, that sounds like a challenge. Mother may I?" "Your mother's dead. I don't think she cares what you do.”
HO HO HOLY SHIT NEIL
“Starting a fight was too out of character for who he portrayed "Neil” to be, though.”
“Consider this your official invite, you suicidal wretch. I'm bringing you to Columbia with us this Friday.”
awe suicidal wretch... glad they’re starting those pet names early
“I don't drink or dance," Neil said.
andrew: i kno u can
“Kevin doesn't dance anymore”
anymore? ANYMORE??? release the cursed events that led to him not dancing anymore Nora im begging you
“Are you bleeding anywhere?" Matt asked.
"Nowhere vital," Neil said.
gskjgnsak god i stan this little asshole so much
“She said it gently, with the hint of a smile on her face, but Neil still felt the rebuke. It was subtler but somehow deadlier”
have i mentioned how gay i am for renee? because im very gay for renee
“Allison looked ready for a photo shoot with perfect platinum curls, spiked heels, and a skintight dress.”
im also gay for allison ngl
“I can move if you want to sit here," Neil said.
"No, this is fine." She smiled, but it had a smug edge to it, probably because Seth was glaring at them like he could kill them with willpower alone. ”
lol remember how neil doesn’t think he’s attractive and yet in 0.1 seconds after meeting him allison is like “yes this idiot is hot enough to piss off the other idiot im dating”
“Personal favorite was when someone told the police we were running a meth lab out of the dorm," Dan said sourly. "Police raids are awesome.”
no offence dan but that’s fucking hilarious omg
that’s kind of like the time my residence floor had to get evacuated bc some kids hotboxed their dorm room
god i love uni
“The death threats were creative, though," Nicky said. "Maybe this time they'll follow through and actually kill one of us. Let's vote. I nominate Seth.”
pfffffttttt i love Nicky omg
also hahahahahah foreshadowing!
“It'll be fine," Andrew said. "I promised, didn't I? Don't you believe me?"
It took a while, but at last Kevin visibly relaxed. ”
again this is why i thought they were fucking for like the better part of the first two books
“The dead look Kevin turned on Andrew today was the same look Neil saw in his reflection. When Neil stopped acting, when he stopped worrying about who was watching, when he let go of the lies that kept him alive, that was the only expression he could make.”
it’s fine i didnt need a heart anyways
this kid is 18 hes A BABY
the first time i read this i was 18 too and like jfc i was a BABY at 18 and so i neil
“One of us has to make it, Mom."
It wasn't going to be Neil. It was obvious he was too stupid to survive without his mother if he let himself get into messes like this. But maybe Kevin could do it.”
sorry let me just wipe my TEARS off my fucking laptop neil honey what the fuck
“He felt distant as he watched them walk in. Maybe he was already dying, his stupid soul fading from his short body in preparation for a brutal end.”
neil we get it you have depression (me too bitch u aint special)
“Fuck running," Seth said.
now that’s a whole ass mood
“he didn't know how Renee could smile so warmly when she was speaking to Andrew.”
haha bitch just wait
“when he slept, he dreamed of his father waiting for him on the Foxhole Court.”
remember how at the end of the series his father is waiting on the court but neil wins??? god we love good storytelling
this is such a fucking wild chapter
could you imagine? coming back from the summer and your first introduction to this amateur from arizona is this neil josten level of sass? because i’d probably kill him
first years are bad enough but first years who dont care about other people’s opinions? the fucking worst
chapter 7 (aka. neil does NOT have a fun night out)
“It seemed Allison and Seth didn't believe in middle ground: either they were slinging vile insults at each other or they were making out in the locker room regardless of whoever might be around.”
that’s just how the straights are
“It reminded Neil a little of Allison and Seth, except without the desperate sexual undertones.”
i’ll just leave this gem of a line here
“His teammates held so little regard for him he didn't even have the dubious honor of being dead last.”
neil shading himself is actually hilarious how relatable
“Neil watched him do it, trying to remember the last time someone gave him a gift and coming up blank. That his first one should be from Andrew was unsettling.”
i actually love the fact that andrew bought him clothes so early on like andrew your gay is showing
“Neil debated how much damage the thick heels of his new boots would do against Andrew's face and liked what his mind came up with.”
i thank god everyday that these books are neil’s pov
“Andrew gave Neil another slow once-over and let go. "We're going.”
^andrew seeing neil w/o contacts (aka. the ‘i can’t think straight’ vine)
“Most of the men wore leather, half the women had corsets, and a good number of both genders were covered in buckles and chains.”
this... is a... gay bar
“Andrew saluted the bouncers on his way by and led the way into the club, bypassing the line entirely.”
i always forget the drinking age in the us is 21 but like this bar really dont care about their liquor license AT ALL lmao
“You think Kevin would risk his future over a night out at the club?"
"What future?" Neil asked.”
WOW NEIL WAY TO BE A BITCH
“Neil hadn't seen Aaron get up, but he was waiting behind Neil when Andrew let go. Neil reached for Andrew with lethal intent, but Aaron grabbed the back of his chair and pulled hard enough to topple it over.”
why are the twins literally this gif:
real talk nicky kissing neil like that is horrible and really reflects poorly on nicky as a character
andrew for this entire chapter:
chapter 8 (aka. a hitchhiker’s guide to lying about your identity)
“I don't know how your conversation with Andrew went, but it didn't end well. Rumor has it you paid a busboy a hundred bucks to knock you out. Way to cut our night short.”
this is probably my favourite thing neil does in the entire series ngl
“Wymack grabbed his elbow and hauled him inside. He slowed just long enough to slam the door behind Neil. "Are you stupid or just crazy? Do you have any idea what could have happened to you between here and there? What were you thinking?”
Why does Wymack literally sound like my father?
foxes: daddy?
wymack: DO I LOOK LIKE
follow up:
kevin: daddy?
wymack: uh yeah
“I don't know what the beef is between you two, but it ends here and now.”
Wymack @ neil: tell your boyfriend, if he says he’s got beef that your a vegetarian and your not fucking scared of him
“Then correct me."
"Give me a reason."
"Besides the obvious?" Andrew said. "If I can't get an answer from you, I'll get it wherever I can.”
andrew:
“I'm—" Neil didn't want to say it, but the word was already there, broken and pathetic between them, "—nothing. I'll always have and be nothing.”
“He wondered for a moment if Andrew could handle the entire truth so calmly, but that was too dangerous and stupid to consider.”
“Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought perhaps he liked it.”
this is such a good fucking line like i am shooketh
chapter 9 (aka. neil is, like, really horny for exy)
“Are you stupid?" Seth asked. "Yeah," Neil said.”
what a fuckin MOOD
“Neil had almost forgotten why he liked Exy so much. He did his best at practices but these days he worked mostly to keep his teammates off his back. As Neil surveyed Kevin's damage, he finally felt inspired again. On its heels was a hungry, desperate rush.”
“Seth made as if to throw his beer at Neil. "His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.”
sometimes i really wish seth was actually given a chance to have some character development
“ "Maybe you're not as stupid as I thought."
"Maybe I am," Neil said”
another big fucking MOOD
chapter 10 (aka. shocking: university is hard :/ )
“It's fun telling Kevin no," Andrew said with a wicked grin.”
why is andrew like this omg
betsy probably was like just looking for a chill job and was like “oh cool uni students? ill have to deal with like a lot of anxiety, sexual tension, depression and like confusion about the future, not to bad” but NOPE welcome to the fucking MAFIA WARS
“That wasn't so bad, was it? Andrew was convinced it would be a disaster. He put money on you hating Betsy."
"Did you bet against him?"
"Yes," Renee said. "It was a private bet between the two of us.”
“I hope you didn't lose much," Neil said.”
god why is he such an asshole at every opportunity i love him
“I can take care of myself," Neil said.
"Watch me beam with pride.”
wymack is the best father in the world and you cant convince me otherwise
“There was one for every fall team with schedules printed on each. Neil kept the Exy one, tossed the rest into the trash, and buried his magnet deep in his pocket where he didn't have to look at the dates.”
neil “i only care about exy” josten strikes again with his great school spirit
“Palmetto State was facing Edgar Allan on Friday, October 13th”
that’s such a cliche and i love it
“He detoured around students toward one of Palmetto State's three dining halls. Two were for the general student body. The third was for athletes only”
lmao my school literally has one dining hall and it couldnt give less of a fuck what type of student they’re selling food too as long as they’ll pay $15 for chicken fingers
what kind of money does palmetto state fuckin have
like i get us tuition is a lot but jesus so’s mine and my school couldn’t be less fucked
“It was only the first day of school and he already had three assignments: a short paper, a fifty-page chapter to read, and a page of questions about said chapter. Neil debated for a minute as to which one sounded least painful. Five minutes later he was still uninspired, so he put his head down on his desk.”
1. MOOD
2. first years are so cute thinking that’s a lot of assignments i remember in first year being like “i have to read 40 pages thats so unfair :(” and now i’m like “ah sick only 200 pgs of readings this week? im gonna have so much free time!”
upper year history sucks ngl
“I'm fine," Neil said.”
neil knows exactly two (2) words and those are it
“You say that an awful lot," Matt said. "I'm starting to think you don't know what it means.”
overall thoughts:
the plot is pickinnnng upppp
i kind of forget how much world building happens in the first book but like its good
also i love neil literally hating everyone its so funny bc like bby these going to be your best friends just wait
anyways that’s all for now
part 3 will be the rest of tfc and then we’ll move onto trk if you guys still want more of this? let me know
love u all bye
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SPOILERS. DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT SEEN ENDGAME.
OKAY SO. Where to begin?
Okay…I’ll probably cry while writing this but I have to explain. To be honest, the first marvel movie I saw was of course spiderman, like the original; I remember loving him sm, he was my favorite superhero at the time and I couldn’t get enough of the movie. Then, Iron Man came and it didn’t really caught my attention at first so I didn’t watch it. BUT THEN, Captain American happened and I just felt like I had to watch it and I fell in love with it; with Steve, with Peggy, Bucky (broke my heart), just the whole movie. I loved Peggy and Steve sm I cried when I saw they couldn’t get their dance together. So then I started watching all marvel movies; I watched Hulk and Iron Man, then The Avengers came out. After that, it became a tradition for me and my aunt to go to the movies together every time there was a new avengers movie and we loved it. I was ashamed of loving them bc my mom was always mad for my love for superheroes, she said that was a boy thing but I just couldn’t stop loving them. I read some comics, I investigated to see all the versions of the heroes, etc. I watched almost every marvel show, I was super in love with Agent Carter that I was so disappointed when they canceled the show; I was pissed bc it wasn’t fair, Peggy was my favorite character from the whole MCU along with Cap and it hurt. When they announced Infinity War my god I was so scared, I didn’t know if it was good or bad that this movie was coming cause I was not expecting everything that happened and I remember how much I cried.
Now, Endgame. HOLY SHIT. When the trailers came out, I started wondering if I was really ready to watch it or not, if I really wanted to watch it or just wait for it. I had my theories, I had my doubts, I had so many thoughts of what was gonna happen. CAPTAIN MARVEL THEN CAME. My god, I didn’t think I could love her as much as I do. I wanted nothing more than to watch her on Endgame and I was kind of disappointed that we saw so little of her; but still I loved it. I really didn’t like the way they wrote Thor and Hulk it wasn’t them; I couldn’t really recognize them as hard as I tried, I just didn’t like it (pls don’t hate me). Tony with Pepper and Morgan…OH MY GOD; it was the CUTEST thing ever, I just loved seeing Tony as a father, I loved that he got what he wanted, it just made me so happy. Can we talk about Carol’s haircut? Like…I died. My gay heart. So I won’t get in detail with everything bc this is already long BUT I’ll just mention some parts of the movie. I loved that they went back in time, I loved that Tony and Steve had to go back to get the stone and Tony found his that and then STEVE SAW PEGGY. I WAS SCREAMING INSIDE, DYING INSIDE BC I COULDN’T BELIEVE SHE WAS THERE. I made up my mind that I wouldn’t see Peggy in the movie and when I did, god I died. Then Nat…okay, here’s the thing; since Avengers, I fell in love with Nat bc she was the only female superhero there, I hated that guys only liked her bc she was hot but they ignored the fact that she was strong, fiery, brave, just like all the guys. I was not expecting her to die. When they said they were going for the soul stone, I just knew one of them had to die but I swore it was going to be Clint, not Nat and that completely broke my heart, I wanted to scream cause it hurt so bad. Then, everything seemed alright and Thanos from the past came and I was shocked lol. The fight between him, Steve, Tony and Thor was just epic. I screamed when Steve graved Mjolnir, like of course he was worthy! And when he stood up again ready to fight everyone and THEN ALL HIS TEAM SHOWED UP AND THEY WERE ALL READY AND MY GOD! It was the most epic fight EVER. OF ALL THE TIME. AND THEN WANDA LIKE OMG SHE WAS SO FUCKING PERFECT. AND THEN THE GIRLS PROTECTING BABY SPIDEY! LOOKING ALL SO BADASS. And then…we come to the saddest part…Tony dying. I knew this was gonna happen but I didn’t think it would hurt as much as it did. I was crying so hard I couldn’t contain my tears anymore. The only thing I hated was that he had a funeral but Nat didn’t. And then my favorite part (all the movie was really but this was the top) Steve marrying Peggy and having his dance with her. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT. I swear I couldn’t believe it and I screamed and then I was crying again but harder this time of happiness and I was sobbing, LITERALLY SOBBING. I cried for like 2 hrs after that.
The whole movie was amazing and I am so thankful for having the chance to live this amazing experience. Thank you Marvel, thank you brothers, thank you Stan, just THANK YOU EVERYONE. This was more amazing than I expected.
#this is long af#but idc#marvel#avengers#Scarlett Johansson#chris hemsworth#chris evans#mark ruffalo#robert downey jr#jeremy renner#Black Widow#thor#captain america#Steve Rogers#natasha romanoff#hulk#bruce banner#iron man#hawkeye#captain marvel#stan lee#spiderman#thanos#black panther#pepper potts#dr strange#ant man#wasp#valkyrie#guardians of the galaxy
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3 for the unusualish asks💞
Oh I will girl ( you should have NOT give me that number right after the bold type season finale)
I cannot rant about Taylor bc everythings good and I’m living for that so lets just go with my favourite show and how fucked up everything is, I am usually not someone who voices their opinion too much especially on here bc thats just not the type of person I am but anyway
The Bold Type has been my favourite tv show and if you have never seen it I still recommend you do bc overall its still a damn good show dont get me wrong if it does not seem like that (there are several reasons to watch it and I want it to become more popular so pls do)
Well, I started watching it right at the beginning, June/July last year when the first episode aired and BOI it blew me away, like, i did not expect anything major BUT lemme just say it destroys every other show its just that good (I love the girls it focuses on individually and together, the boss is full perfection, the main ship (a bi girl of colour and a proud muslim lesbian) was breathtaking, the storylines were on point and emotional and it just idk maybe they set the bars too high)
So the second season started airing beginnign of june and you know, I WAS worried before that they could not keep up but I had SO MUCH faith (but it also seems like the writers were kind of replaced and man that shows) the first few episodes were fire alright which is even worse bc i had lost all my worries and knew I was gonna be fed the whole season but little did I know …
You know I really hate complaining too much about something about a tv show that is there to enjoy and make me happy so I’ll stop thinking about it after this post but I do get the frustration so much (but death threats and bashing the whole show is not helpful whoops I said it)
Just a few short notes on things that anger me a little (I’m probably forgetting thigns but anyway):
1. Jane (she is one of the three main girls) I really like(d) Jane a lot and I feel like I can identify with her, we are very much alike in many ways and this especially showed in season 1. I dont “hate” her at all after this season, not even dislike her, but she they used her for almost all (?) the controversial topics as the one who makes rude and subtle offensive comments, which is not bad in itself bc she learned from it mostly all the time and apologizes but it was just too often and much for me. in the first season Jane seemed at least trying to be more understanding even when she could not really and she was relatable with her concerns and her feelings and this was not really the case for me this season. I felt like she did not own up enough for some mistakes and it did not give me this tbt feeling of happiness and goodness and wholesomeness I had after every damn episode last season????
2. Screen Time (Jacqueline/Alex/Adena) You could probably talk about everyone of them in detail now but I dont have the energy - let me just say Adena and Jacqueline are my favourite characters so maybe I am biased and I know that this whole post need to be edited probably after I rewatch the season bc I can easier give feedback when everything is fresh in my mind but you know, all we fans wanted was to have backstorys (and bc he didnt really get one either this probably applies to Oliver too) not even much, just maybe like the episode in season 1 when we got to learn more about Jacquelines family and her past in general (still crying), it was so well-written bc it was not just something thrown in there but integrated in the storyline, it had purpose, it was emotional, it gave insight into her character and I honestly saw her with different eyes after that (and loved her even more), now those 3 or 4 just are really pushed to the sides. You dont see Adena without Kat really or talking about her character without it being about her sexuality and Kat (oh hey a gay one complaining about that?? yes bc even tho I answer I am gay after someone asks me “how are you” theres more to a person and especially to someone as interesting as Adena. I love hearing non heteros talk about their love life and everything surrounding it but at least then let Adena talk about how her coming out was, what she finds interesting in other women, if she ever struggled with it (i know they tried to cover some things but naah idk i just expected more) or just talk about something else, let us see her going to the movies with friends, a childhood throwback when she was in art class, let her talk about what she likes about some types of art. AND HER WHOLE CULTURE? I am a white western woman and I never see muslim representation on tv and I feel like still havent? i forgot at some point?! there are so many non-white people watching it hoping to be represented and ofc you cannot please everyone but now it just feels like Adena is just a proud lesbian you know. And Alex? what who was that again?
3. the storylines - sooo first of all, I liked the storylines more than most people probably from what I have seen on the tag. I think some of them were hard to put in just one episode and try to talk about everything important and still have show going on, which is why it did not work all the time have less storylines but make them work would be better. I really did appreciate that they tried to have a lot of stuff covered and they tried to put different points in there but there were a lot of het relationship and other drama stuff to be shown so the storys were often pushed too hard to the sides. this I say having the gun episode in mind the most i felt really unsatisfied after it and I was really looking forward to it bc i think its important and brave for them to talk about it (anyway watch one day at a time, the episode on the same matter is pure gold) . idk its alright its not the same feeling its less spectacular but I’ll stop whining about that now.
4. KADENA - I’ll try to be objective here , i do get that you cannot have a happy relationship without anything going on for 10 episodes (ok you can I would love that but maybe its less wise when it comes to viewers idk?? i stan unpopular shows so who am I to know) BUT come on, not like this?? they started of as PERFECT alright and then it all went downhill, you know cheating and stuff idk, I am not happy with it, could be more original, could be less meh but whatever I was like “ ok I’lll roll with it maybe its gonna bring a new light in this, let them grow, let them learn” but man idk. it was all a mess and once they made up and everything was fine (after 3 epsiodes of pure stress for my weak heart) after 5 minutes there was something new? almost any interaction was either them arguing or making up. I liekd their conversations mostly I really did but I was tired of drama all the time, after this season I’ll just say it: If they want to continue it like that until the end of season 3 I’d rather have them not together anymore. its no fun, its stress for them and even more for me and it would not seem realistic when they make them endgame at the very last minute (which I assume they will bc they promote it like that) without using multiple episodes and time passing to really let them grow in the relationship, without that it would just feel like one day after the finale of season 3 they would have somethng else coming up to fuck them up again. I was really baffled with the finale bc I WAS NOT expecting that they really wouldnt resolve it at all let us suffer like this (I remember that Nikohl i think said that it would be like that but someone else also said recently that it really feels like a finale and that the fans would feel assured but excited for the next season but excuse me? tbt fans who are happy about that end are great. would love to meet one one day. but where they at?? suttard fans all 3 of you I am happy for you honestly. and for sutton. richard idc. i am bitter tho.
I STILL HAVE SO MUCH HOPE FOR SEASON 3 (pls let the old writers come back, listen to the fans, there are not too many instead of trying to make it more appealing to the general public what about pleasing us again with friendship, gayness, depth and happiness?)
(& remember: I.love.this.show. i do. I would recommend it even when there would only be season 2. but it would not be my fave anymore. its like as if taylor would have the same albums with the same music, same career, same backstory BUT her not really caring about her fans. I would still love her as an artist so freaking much. but would I jump off building for her?? naah maybe if there were a balcony and a pool who knows
Thanks for coming to my TED talk
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ive been watching your scenes to rewatch and ive been crying at literally all of them. out of curoisity, what are your favourite ouat scenes? either sq or general? also side note, i love your latest fic, such an interesting premise. i get so scared every time someone says an order and emmas forced to comply, that scene with the trolls had me on edge. and the fact that cora must suspect something about emma now - im so scared but excited ahah :D have a nice day :)
OH I super dropped the ball on those omg, i have so many others!! but i haven’t been able to rewatch in a long time, it hard 😩
of course i LOVE almost every swan queen scene!! it’s hard for me to pick favorites because nearly every one pings something else inside me omfg. I don’t think there’s a single sq scene I couldn’t write an essay about WHOOPS. so lemme try to answer this with just some of my favorite non-sq scenes 😅
Emma in True North: hoo boy, this is probably in my scenes to rewatch but that scene on the road, MAN. there’s so much careful buildup with emma’s abandonment issues and how much she sees herself in nick and ava. and they have a chance she never does and dammit, she fights for them!! she fights for two kids just like her and they get their moment and jmo turns that realization into agony with sheer artistry in emma’s FACE in their final moment. god.
Regina in We Are Both: this was the episode that sold me on Regina! tbh i’d marathoned s1 as soon as they announced mulan was going to be in s2 so i hadn’t been focusing much on thinking before that?? and then suddenly there’s Regina, in all her rich and layered stories, and i fell hARD. the whole narrative of the episode- Regina resisting parental abuse until she becomes what she’s always feared to be free!! and that translating into her saying ‘no, this isn’t going to continue to the next generation. even if i lose the only thing that matters to me.’ do u ever stan!!! I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE VERY WELL. END ME.
Emma in Firebird: listen. never follow ur idols to ur next fandom or you’ll suddenly realize they actually hate women and then get ‘’’muted’’’ for ‘’’yelling at her too much’’’ but jane espenson did a GOOD with the flashbacks in this one (present day still literal and figurative hell tho!!). The concept of Emma’s jacket as armor isn’t an original one, but the execution was honestly stellar. Emma forging this connection with an older hardened woman who can’t let go of the past either!! emma destroyed and remade into the lady we met on her twenty-eighth birthday. GOD. SHE FINDS HER DAUGHTER. and i gotta say, the vulnerable-tearful-young thing jmo was doing w emma in s5 didn’t work for me in terms of what present day was trying to convey, but it’s a perfect fit for that flashback, i WEPT.
Regina in Quite A Common Fairy: Lana OWNS the cave scene with Tink, god. The depth and breadth of emoTION. The episode and the narrative itself builds it up from episode one! because this regina on the road to redemption but finally giving us a glimpse into the emotional and mental state she was in as the young queen- she has all this rage and she’s SUSTAINED by it, it’s her only real truth and constant and she’s terrified of what might happen if she lets it go for even an instant and chooses hope instead. (Lana’s voice when Regina says she’s afraid that without rage she might just ‘—float away’ is something that has stayed with me for a long, long time.) REGINA PULLING OUT HER HEART TO MAKE A POINT. far from the last time she will, but how affecting!! god!!
Emma and Snow in S1: There are a few moments i’m thinking of (and i’m literally writing this on the treadmill so pls forgive the lack of episode names) and all of them are so stellar, god. The moment when Snow finds Emma living out of her car early on. Snow and Emma sitting at the table at the loft holding hands. Emma lying down next to a crying Snow. Snow yelling at Emma for being so selfish when she tries running off with Henry?? EMMA SHOWING UP AT MARY MARGARET’S DOOR SEARCHING FOR A ~PERSON~ AND MARY MARGARET SILENTLY LETTING HER IN. Snow and Emma work best in S1 in the silences and the fights, where they’re allowed to just care and be family, and I treasure each of those moments as much as they do.
Regina and Zelena in the Kansas: There’s a lot of effort put into this dynamic right near what seemed like the end, playing with how exactly Zelena perceives her happy ending to go- and then Regina strikes it all down by being different, by changing, by being someone Zelena hadn’t believed either of them capable of. And then Regina goes to Zelena’s cell and offers her!! sisterhood!! my god. i instantly fell in love with the dynamic in that moment and i’m forever pressed that the ‘it’s nice to have family in town’ line was cut. because you can tell that regina craves family and craves unmaking this second monster of her mother’s and zelena was going to TAKE that second chance and hey! this seems the perfect time to go off-message and
Belle in Family Business and Heroes and Villains: imma be honest, i like belle just fine in the early seasons but i have zero interest in rumbelle, which means a lot of fast-forwarding through her scenes. But these two scenes were ENCHANTING. Mirror Belle preying on Belle with the truth that she’s afraid to face! Emilie does such a fantastic job conveying so much cruelty in that scene, I was gaping and enthralled and hoping shattered sight was going to work exactly like that (and tbh props to ginny for doing a hella creepy snow at the start of Shattered Sight). And that town line scene!!! What a stunning, evocative scene. Belle reclaiming agency and taking action in such a 100% cold-blooded but necessary way!! that’s my ravenclaw babe!!!
Mulan and Aurora: I was young, and I Believed, and I Believed for a very long time. I am appalled at my naïveté too, don’t worry.
Regina in Enter the Dragon: LOOK it’s not about the leather but it’s a lil about the leather!!! I really appreciate both Regina in the past and present in this one and also how gay it is, and I’m most charmed by lil evil pep talking nugget Regina who just wants you to be the very best villain you can be! It’s such an artful melding of the exuberance of young!Regina and the delight in chaos of eq!Regina and i, for one, am a fan.
Emma (and Henry) in The Stranger/An Apple Red as Blood: my gOD. Okay I think one of the first times I cried while watching this show was in Emma’s desperate, hysterical denial to August about the curse. She’s so clearly hit rock bottom and she’s TERRIFIED of believing and it’s breaking her. SHE DIDNT ASK TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYONES HAPPINESS. SHE DOESNT WANT IT. THAT IS CRAP!!!! i love her!! i love emma swan!!! i do!!!!! and then moving into the end of the next episode when she tells henry she’s leaving and just!! ‘henry! life isn’t a story!’ man this show had some incredible early work. sigh. emma kneeling in front of henry begging him to listen! my god.
Regina in the Cricket Game: so i’m leaving out all my fave sq moments which severely limits the number of regina and emma scenes i can talk about here but the flashbacks in this one SURE ARE SOMETHING. regina has hit rock bottom in this set and you feel it in every moment, in her REGRET THAT I HAVE NOT CAUSED MORE PAIN and frickin stABBING snow and that dark scene with the candle oh god. this is a regina who doesn’t think about looking back anymore but who doesn’t think about looking forward, either, and she’s terrifying. it reminds me a lot of the scene later this season in Welcome to Storybrooke where she takes out snow’s heart and ‘see? i can have everything’ but there are tears sliding down her face. regina in enraged despair is something to behold!!
Henry (and Emma and Regina) in Operation Mongoose: Henry doesn’t often get lengthy times to shine that aren’t about other characters, but he was literally a YA hero in the author’s universe! man! what a kid! and his scenes with bandit Regina are some of my all-time favorites, as is that heartstopping moment when he reaches the top of that tower and flings the door open and Emma KNOWS him. reader, i wept. i wept hard. talk about your earned moments!!!
Emma as Dark Swan: posture! clothing! positioning! voice work! dark swan was a revelation i’m still rightfully bitter about, because she was EVERYTHING in those early episodes. the way she caressed snow’s face in first episode of 5a. the faux-innocent with the calculating eyes on the ship with whats-his-name. every interaction with henry where she was trying to be a PERSON. the way she moved! the way she felt more reptilian than human! i wanted to know everything about her!! (then i did and quit the show lol) honestly some of jmo’s best acting to date, i’m forever in awe.
That Still Small Voice: look, this is an episode about a cricket and it remains one of my favorite quality ouat episodes. Archie sells it best as an adult influenced by his past without quite knowing it, and Archie and Henry make for a really engaging dynamic in here. There is nothing about Archie’s professional behavior that doesn’t make me want to scream but this remains a very, very good episode.
Emma in Sympathy for the De Vil/Lily: okay this is cheating a little because so much of this is also Regina but!! Emma individually shines in this narrative and throughout 4b. From the moment she finds out about what her parents had done, you can watch it slowly draining a part of her?? yes her eyes got redder but there was also this kind of apathy about EVERYTHING. And tbh the Cruella episode is pretty awesome on its own (I love the slow revelation that Cru is the villain, what a stellar execution of a fave trope) but WHEN EMMA KILLS HER. In the exact moment that Cruella says ‘heroes don’t kill’. that’s what pushes emma over the edge!! and then emma ready to kill again the next episode because she feels like she’s sliding into an abyss, i couldn’t BREATHE. emma is incredible when the narrative lets her be angry, and i wanted So Much More. Speaking of which, Emma getting angrier and angrier and almost losing it in The Snow Queen was more of that anger!! i am HUNGRY for it.
Regina and Snow in The Evil Queen: This episode is messy af but damn did my heart skip a beat when a hooded hero saves Regina and tears off her hood and it’s SNOW. This episode does so much of what makes Snow/Regina so fascinating and frustrating, both in the present and the past. Their interactions in the woods moved me! changed me! and Regina had already crossed the point of no return but oh man, oh man, the way they’d almost gotten somewhere for a minute there.
Regina and Henry in Save Henry: A classic, a work of art, and I’ve said so much about it in the past that I’m exhausted just thinking about expressing it all again now. But what a STORY of an evil queen who falls in love with a little boy. What a narrative!! The promo pictures from this episode came out when I was sitting in the hospital for a checkup while I was expecting my daughter, and I was tearing up and the nurses thought it was about the ultrasound. I’M NOT PROUD. This is a love story!!! And it culminates again in A Curious Thing, by the way, which put another ten years on my life, an Epic !
Emma and Henry in New York City Serenade: boy was this a journey, but I was absolutely spellbound omg. This was a love song to a fantasy but it’s a fantasy that never unmakes Emma– she’s afraid of commitment and happiness and everything permanent in her life that isn’t Henry, but she’s still going to take that leap despite herself. It’s a wonderful character study that captures Emma’s essence in a new world, with a new past.
Snow in The Miller’s Daughter: Snow is at her best when the show isn’t painting her with rose-colored glasses and we get to see her darker side, and I don’t think she ever gets quite as dark in the first three seasons as she is when she’s standing there, smiling earnestly at Regina as she tells her that the key to Cora loving Regina is in the poisoned heart she holds. My god. It’s so incredibly cold-blooded and vile, and it’s absolutely the kind of manipulative pragmatism that suits Snow best. I am enthralled and horrified.
Neal and Emma and Henry and Gold in Manhattan: This is one of those really cool scenes where even though I don’t particularly care for half the characters within it, everyone acted the hell out of it and it’s so GOOD. There’s so much tension and you’re holding your breath through the squabbling, and then Henry shows up and you KNOW. You know what’s going to happen and you’re terrified for Emma and it’s so visceral, right up until the instant when Neal demands Henry’s age and Henry shouts ELEVEN and my god, my god. What a reveal. What a scene.
There are more!! so many scenes and moments i’ve loved over the years. Emma and young!Lily! Snowing in Snow Falls! Anna of Arendale!! Snow and Emma in Lost Girl!! Ruby in Red Handed! The David/Emma dragon fight in A Land Without Magic! Regina tearing out that heart in The Doctor and meeting Daniel again?? Regina and her father in hell. all of Hat Trick. i think twenty is a good place to stop, but hoo boy, when this show was good, it was GOOD. alas.
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the very large sp3arb tag
so @sp3arb has tagged me in a total four tags recently and i’m finally getting around to all of them!! tysm for all the tags, meri (btw i love your name?? i think its super cute!) and i hope you learn a bunch of unnecessary stuff abt me lmao (under the cut bc this is a long ass post)
i dont have a name for this tag
1ST RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better
im not tagging anyone bc im bad at things and most ppl i wanna know about, meri has already tagged so
2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.
APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo - I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces
PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know- I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality
ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch
HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts
EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts
MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone
RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend
RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages [i don’t speak two, i speak one and sign in another] - I have made a new friend in the past year
alphabet tag
Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better
I was tagged by Roxanne ( is it ok if I call you Roxy? I like Roxy) Actually @lxx-fxlix And for some reason it did not give me the notification you did, I was casually stalking your blog when I saw:
A: age? 16 (01 liner)
B: birthplace? North Carolina
C: current time? 7:53 pm
D: drink you had last? Arnold Palmer (half sweet tea, half lemonade)
E: easiest person to talk to? for me, it’s my irl best friend gwen and my best friend on here, krys
F: favorite song? oof i’m super indecisive so i’m just gonna commit to mayday by got7 (it always changes but mayday has stayed on my constantly rotating playlist for nearly six months now; most are on for six weeks, max)
G: grossest memory? uh probably when one of my swim lesson kids tried to eat a bug (they were like four) and i had to make them spit it out into my hands
H: hogwarts house? proud slytherin!!
I: in love? i love a lot of people, but i’m not IN love
J: jealous of people? not anymore, my self-esteem has gotten so much better in past years
K: killed someone? uhm a couple of times in fics (*cough* jinjin in not like this *cough*)
L: love at first sight or should i walk by again? not love but pls walk by again bc i’m probably enjoying your aesthetics
M: middle name? christine
N: number of siblings? one, an older sister
O: one wish? to adopt a kid with no family or an unhealthy one (obvs when older and financially stable)
P: person you called last? my sister called me yesterday morning, and before that i had called my friend to tell him abt a near death experience when i was driving
R: reasons to smile? something good will happen to you, you’ll meet someone wonderful, and there’s always new experiences to happen
S: song you sang last? poet by bastille (an underrated fave)
T: time you woke up? about 8 am
U: underwear color? light heathered grey
V: vacation destination? i’d love to go to greece someday! santorini would be my first choice, and then my great-grandparents old village near thessaloniki
W: worst habit? probs my dermatillia (picking at acne on my face until it bleeds, then picking at the scabs, leaving a bunch of scars that will never go away)
X: x-rays? i got one on my tailbone one time, two years after i sprained it bc my mom didn’t believe me
Y: your favorite food? uhhh most anything tbh; i quite like the honey butter chicken sandwich from pdq
Z: zodiac sign? libra
✨ Fun Facts Tag ✨
Rules for this are:
Have fun with it!
Tag some of your mutuals
1) Favourite colours:
orange!! and after that, any kinds of pastel or muted darks
2) Favourite song at the moment:
lotto by exo has been on replay in my head, my car, and my earbuds
3) Last book you read:
the sun and her flowers by rupi kaur
4) Last TV show you watched:
i tried to watch part-time idol bc hyunbin from jbj was in it, but within the first 15 minutes they set up an unnecessary relationship so i had to nope out of there real hard; i then reverted back to rewatching white collar for the fifth time
5) Last movie you watched:
does john mulaney’s nerflix comedy special comeback kid count?? if not, probably nightmare before christmas way back around christmastime
6) If you have a pet whats their name?:
four dogs: pheonix, kino, midge, and bess; three horses: little man, gem, and andy (ironically i’m allergic to dogs and horses, and my dad keeps buying more)
7) If you have siblings how many?:
one, my older sister
8) Favourite thing to do on a weekend:
i love doing my swim lessons and seeing all my kids!! i haven’t been able to lately bc of the weather,
9) Best tumblr friends:
i only talk to @cheesyramynry on a daily basis, but i have a lot of blogs that i consider friendly acquaintances or casual friends as well!!
10) Favourite thing about yourself:
i value my compassion and empathy above all else; i am very much the mom friend and love to be it
11) Favourite memory:
ah i have so many; i think rn i’m gonna go with this past christmas, bc it was my last one with my grandfather
12) 3 weird habits:
swallowing gum, taking all my pills in descending size order, i tend to mimic how a singer sounds when i sing along to the song (ex: if they have a british accent, i’ll subconsciously sing in a british accent; if they stress certain syllables in certain ways, i’ll do it too)
13) What would you call your style?:
comfortable (stretchy jeans, t-shirts, hoodies) and with a few signature Gay Things (jean jacket, flannels, oversized mens’ button ups, a couple gay/bi pride shirts)
14) Odd talent:
if i have lyrics in front of me to a song i’ve never heard before, i can predict the pattern of the tunes and rhythm and sing along the first time
15) Do you have a tumblr crush?:
literally all of aroha and all of the sk fandom (y’all are the loveliest fandoms i’ve ever been a part of)
the stray kids tag
Rules: answer the questions in a new post, and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.
I’ve decided that in celebration of Stray Kids pre-debut album I needed to create a tag. The ultimate goal for The Stray Kids Tag is to learn about your Tumblr mutuals, and have fun answering the Stray Kids related questions! Here we go:
1: When did you decide to join the Stray kids fandom?
i saw a thread of information abt the suspected nine members before they were officially announced and was like ‘yes i must stan them and love them with all of my heart.’ so uh,,,,, back in august or september??
2: What is your favorite episode of Stray Kids? uhm, i’m gonna expose myself rn and let y’all know that i’ve never actually seen a full episode of the show; as soon as i heard it was gonna be a survival show, i knew that i couldn’t watch it bc my heart was too weak and i was emotionally incapable of becoming too invested while watching it; but from clips, i quite like the episode with the 3:3:3 mission, and also the last episode when all nine were reunited and told they were going to debut together
3: Who would you say is your bias in Stray kids?
my initial one was chan, and they i got rlly confused, and then slowly came to realize that it was jeongin (anything else after that is a fucking mess)
4: Who would you say is your bias wrecker in Stray kids?
literally kill me all of them bias wreck me so hard bUT hyunjin, jisung, seungmin, and chan have been wrecking me so hard in particular lately
5: What line would you want to be apart of in Stray kids? uHHH not dance line bc swimmers have 0 coordination on land; i quite like singing even tho i’m not good at, so probably that, but i can also hit all of chan’s english rap parts in 3racha songs, and keep up with lafayette’s raps in hamilton, and a lot of the english rappers i like too so uh,,, sign me up for rap line too
6: What is the first song you heard of Stray kids? hellevator
7: What is the first song you heard of 3racha? i think it was either hoodie season or runner’s high
8: What is your favorite song on their pre-debut album?
young wings or school life or yayaya (or grr or 4419 or glow or hellevator)
9: What is a concept you’d like to see Stray Kids try in the future?
i love their current optimistic and slightly rebellious teenager concept rn bc its an Eternal Mood; but i always love myself a soft boyfriend concept
10: if you could meet with the members of Stray kids for one day what would you say to them?
how proud of them i am, and how proud of themselves they should be; i would tell them about how they’re saying things that resonate deeply for their fans and i love that they’re talking abt real world problems; i would also make sure to tell them (chan and 3racha especially) to make sure to rest more, and eat well, and take care of themselves emotionally as well as physically; and finally i’d like to tell jeongin how wonderful he is and that he’s doing so much at such a young age (lmao he’s actually eight months older than me but that’s no the point) and to never lose his cute little smile
finally done!! meri, if you actually read all of this, uh thank you????? i hope you now know everything you wanted to know abt me, and probably more than you wanted to know
i’m bad at tagging people, so if you also made it this far and haven’t done some of these tags, choose one, or a couple, or all of them and do them yourself!! just say that i tagged you!!
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