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psychwxrdd · 2 months

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Chapter I

The Collector (1965)

Summary: Rafe Cameron is obsessed with y/n. Unable to make any normal contact, he decides to add her to his "collection" of pretty, preserved objects, in the hope that if he keeps her captive long enough, she will grow to love him.

🎀 - this is a personal adaptation of the classic The Collector, i love the book and the movie as well and i haven't changed practically anything except for the characters. all copyright to John Fowles, i don't own any of the credits or characters, this is just a fanfic on tumblr for my obx girlies!!

also, rafe is non canon, it's just his looks and name to be honest, cause everything else is just loyal to freddie clegg. lmk what yall think about it!

Rafe Cameron's POV.

Whenever she was home on vacation from boarding school, i used to see her almost everyday, as she lived right in front of the Figure 8. I often saw her leaving and entering the house with her sister and, sometimes, with her friends, who i didn't cared about. I was used, when i freed myself for a moment from the files and statistics, to stand at the window, and, through the frost-fogged glass, i observed the street. Then watching her pass by.

It was the best part of my day: Admiring her beauty. My heart always felt waves of love at her sight, i could phisically feel it. At night, at home, i recorded the incident in my journal, initially with an X and, later, when i discovered her name, her initials. I also met her, several times, on the street. One of the times she went to the door of the Public Library, when i stood behind her in a queue. She didn't even looked at me, but I saw her head and her very beautiful hair clearly. I could feel her scent, her sweet, heavenly scent. Only once, just once, before having her as a guest here, i had the privilege of seeing her hair completely down; It was so beautiful, like a mermaid, i had to take a deep breath. She looked just like an angel, what could i do?

I mean... I'm me. Rafe. I'm the bad guy, the most hated person of Outer Banks. Not even my family likes me, what chances did i stood with such a pure creature like her?

I didn't knew it was possible for an angel like her to exist in a filthy earth like ours.

Another time, on a saturday morning, when i didn't had to work and i went to Country Club. She was there. I immediately saw her sitting three seats in front of me, facing me, and so i was allowed to observe her for thirty-five minutes. Seeing her always made me feel as if i were capturing a true rarity, as if she was carefully bringing me closer, silently, to a butterfly with very beautiful, diffuse colors. I always thought of it as something indefinable and rare, as well as refined — not in other words, even the most beautiful ones. Words from an authentic connoisseur. I knew nothing about her when she was still at boarding school, except that her father was a doctor and that, as i heard, her mother drank a lot. I saw her mother once in a store: she had a high-pitched voice and it was obvious that, in fact, she was trouble. Cursing at other customers for a bottle of whine.

I later read in the local newspaper that she had won a scholarship, that she was very brilliant, and that she had a name as beautiful as herself: Y/n. I then learned that she was studying art. That newspaper article was immensely important to me, it was as if we had become acquainted, as if we had suddenly become intimate, even though, of course, we still didn't even knew each other. She didn't knew me. But, from the very first time i saw her i knew that she was the only one for me. I never saw anything so dreamy, so gorgeous before. And i'm not crazy, of course, since I knew it was just a dream, which it would always have been if it weren't for the money. I used to daydream about her, making up stories about me meeting her, admiring her, marrying her, and so on. She painted pictures, and I took care of my collection (in my dreams). She liked me as much as she liked my collection, whose pieces she drew and painted; We worked together in a big, beautiful modern house, in a huge room, with a huge glass wall.

We had local group meetings, where instead of saying nothing, for fear of making a mistake, we were the very popular host and hostess. Y/n was always the most beautiful of them all, and the other men never got tired of admiring her... She was mine. It didn't mattered who wanted her. Y/n was my girl, she would always be.

The only times i didn't have pleasant dreams about her was when I saw her with a certain young, pretentious, noisy man. Blond, a bit smaller than me, from The Cut, probably. I met him once, while waiting to deposit some money, and heard him say: “Give me everything in five notes." The check was only for ten, and the guy thought it was funny. He thought he was cool shit. Well, i saw her get into his van several times and, on those days, she was always very unpleasant towards my colleagues in the office. I then refused to mark her initials in my journal of entomological observations. It was on those days that I allowed myself to have nightmares. She would then cry or kneel before me. Once, I even let myself dream that i punished her for betraying me like that. Maybe that was when it all started...

In one of the sunday newspapers, i saw a large advertisement for a house on the properties for sale page. I hadn't looked for that section, but the ad caught my attention when I turned the page. The title was: "AWAY FROM THE CRAZY CROWD?” Just that. I then read what the advertisement said: Country house, old, privileged, charming situation, large garden, one hour from Kildare, by car, two miles from the nearest village. And so much more. The next morning i got in the car and went to see it by myself. I called the agent and arranged to meet his representative. That's what money gives us. It makes everything easier for us... there are never obstacles. I had expected to find an old house, dilapidated and in a terrible state of repair. There was no doubt that it was old. The exterior was black and white beams and stone slabs. The seller was already there when i arrived. I thought he might be a rude old man, but it turned out he was an well-educated type, making all kinds of not very witty jokes, as if it were not worthy to sell anything - and there was some difference between selling items in a store and selling houses. He immediately displeased me because he was very curious. I think I can still say that i didn't go there just to see if the house was in a suitable location for me, but to have a guest without anyone knowing. What we do next always makes us forget what we did before. The guy wanted to know if the house was just for me. I told him it was for my stepmom. We were already going downstairs, i thought that we had seen everything. I was getting ready to tell him that the house wasn't quite what i wanted, that it was too small, to make him feel even worse when he told me that we had already seen everything except the cellar and the basement. So, there was a basement?

We had to go through the back, where there was a door next to the kitchen door. We went down some very dark stairs. The lights were off, of course, but he had a flashlight. The basement was very cold and damp, being so far from the sun. The walls had been whitewashed a long time ago, and the lime had begun to fall off, giving way to mold that accumulated in the dampest places. The cellar continued throughout the house, as he told me, and there was another cellar, a few steps below, to which I was led through a small door. It was even bigger than the previous one having a lower, arched ceiling, like the basements that sometimes exist under churches. “The ideal place for orgies,” he said.

"What is this cellar for?" I asked him, ignoring the fucking stupid comment. He replied that it was thought to be because the house was so far from everything and because in the past it was necessary to store large quantities of food and other reserves. It was even possible that it had been a secret chapel of the Catholic Church. Well, we return to the surface and go out into the garden. When he closed the door, it was as if that basement had ceased to exist. It was as if there were two worlds. And that's what it has been. There are certain days when I wake up in the morning thinking it was all a dream, until i return to the basement.

The salesman looked at his watch.

"I'm interested," — I told him, — "very interested."

I was so nervous that he looked at me with a surprised expression. The man said that he had to go get another client who was also interested in the house, and i told him that i would stay there in the garden and think for a while, to be able to make the final decision. It was a very pleasant garden, with the back part covered in lucernes. Ideal plant to attract butterflies. The field behind the house extends to a hill. To the east, on both sides of the road, the woods extend almost to the town. To the west, more fields. The nearest house is a mile away, over the hill. On the south side it was very beautiful. Despite being somewhat hidden by the trees in the garden and the fence that surrounds it. The garage is excellent.

I quickly got into the habit of closing the garden gate. It was, in reality, nothing more than a little door, but it had a lock. Although i still saw some people peeking through the fence, the local people soon realized that it was better to leave me alone. I was finally alone, and only then was i able to dedicate myself to work.

I used to do a certain number of housework, which my dad had taught me. So, i was able to decorate the basement room very nicely, although saying so seems vain on my part. After adding several layers of felt, i covered in white, which went very well with the pink walls. I furnished it with a bed and a chest of drawers, a table, chairs, etc. The small bathroom that had already been installed by the firefighters was separated from the bedroom by a partition, the entrance to which was covered by a beautiful screen. I also made shelves myself and filled them with lots of art, porcelain dolls, books and novels, to try to give that underground room a princess, Y/n look, which I finally achieved. I didn't risk putting pictures on the walls, as i thought her taste must be very advanced. What was her favorite movie? Her favorite band? I was dying to know. I wanted to know every single thing about her, i wanted her to tell me. To cry in front of me and confess her deepest fears, to laugh in her purest way.

One of the biggest problems was, of course, the issue of doors and noise insulation. I therefore had to make a heavy oak door to separate the two sections of the cellar. I must say this was my hardest work. The first one I made didn't work, and I had to make another one, this one much better. No man could broke into that door, let alone a small, fragile girl like her. It was two inches thick, completely lined with metal on the inside, so she couldn't try to pierce the wood, and it was no joke getting it on the hinges. On the outside, I adapted an open closet with shelves, where i placed some tools, so that, if someone entered the first cellar, the door would be disguised, and no one would even notice that there was another room lower down. Everything was quite perfect and, for greater peace of mind, i installed a small electrical alarm system, in case someone wanted to enter the first cellar during the night.

And despite those preparations, i had never thought all this time that the thing was serious. I used to say, talking to myself, that I would never carry out that project: that it was all a simulation. And i would never have had that idea if it weren't for all the time and money i had. In my opinion, many people who may seem normal now would also have done what i did, or similar things, if they had been given the time and money to do so. I mean, doing the things they want to do, even though they know they shouldn't do them. An old teacher of mine always said that power corrupts man. And money is power.

Another thing i did: I bought a lot of clothes for her. Colors that I had always seen Y/n wear. Makeup, everything i knew she would love. I mean, i thought so. I just wanted my darling to have everything. I took every precaution possible and imaginable.

I got used to going and sitting in Y/n's room, trying to figure out if she could escape from there. I had to make sure she would never leave, i had created the perfect dollhouse for her. Did she liked butterflies? I hope so.

tags: @h34rtsformilli 💕

#rafe cameron #drew starkey #obx fic #outer banks #obx #rafe cameron x reader #rafe x reader

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corvuscorona · 3 months

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"You Never Forget Your First Love."

The other day, a mutual (hi! you know who you are I think probably hello hi! thank you for the Posting Impetus!) said something that made me curious (for, like, the 80th time, actually; lol. I Have Thoughts) about something: what's the split on people who subscribe to the "Stranger of Paradise probably intended for us to believe that Jack & Sarah were in love" mindset, vs. not? In general, but ESPECIALLY around these parts.

I genuinely didn't read it that way myself (& I do NOT normally give media (general) this much credit, but the writing in this game is sublime; I had no choice but to fully engage Scholar Mode on it), + I think it's interesting that SPECIFICALLY any of my fellow tumblr people / AO3-heads / Gay People Online / etc. seem to have. (I expect nothing from people who haven't been basting themselves in the same online sub-subcultures as me for over a decade. They're allowed to write wrong things on wikis, and have done so already; it's whatever.)

I wanna metapost badly again, so let's go. Join me. No poll. If you have an opinion on this, I'm looking directly into your eyes and beckoning you towards your own keyboard + also the reblog button / comment section, like a weird ghost. What did you think when you first played the game?? What do you think right now? What are you about to think after you have read a bunch of my words. Tell Me. I Need To Know This.

Spoilers for, idk, everything? Today we will use everything we've got to talk about Princess Sarah.

1. As a Narrative Element

This game makes a point of referring to Sarah as things like "a symbol of hope and peace" as often as possible, & when it isn't doing that she's usually in the role of An Object Or Device Of Some Kind, anyway. She's important because she's capable of holding light and dark in balance & SOMEONE'S gotta hold onto this dark crystal for safekeeping, and also we're gonna need to upset that balance on purpose later. There's that conversation in the Wicked Arbor about whether the Strangers would "choose" her (as opposed to "treasure") as the "reward" for succeeding in their mission[1], & there's the one in the Sunken Shrine where Jed asks Jack what he thinks of her and Jack says that he doesn't care about her as a person[2] BUT that protecting her is mission-critical (lol), too.

Sarah's death is metaphorically charged. It's the point of no return: the dark crystal breaks, the balance of light & dark gets extremely ruined, & Literally All The Darkness In Cornelia converges in one place (Fool's Missive XXVII). That's the payoff for the "symbol of hope and peace" motif, and communicating this idea that "the metaphorical light of hope just For Real Died, Like Catastrophically Imploded, No Take-Backs" feels to me like it was the highest priority here. Second-highest goes to "Jack had way more humanity before, but he set it aside on purpose and is actively in the middle of losing the rest of it." "Sort of." "I'm not getting into what counts as humanity or doesn't because if I did we would be here forever."

Basically, I'm saying that the tidiest read on the situation is "Jack despairs because Sarah dying means in a very literary and final way that everything is ruined forever, which doesn't necessarily have anything to do with, like, Love (romantic)." I don't think the text of the game is particularly signaling that Love (romantic) is involved, and I think that if it meant to, it would be more obvious about it. You could bundle "an romance" into the "humanity" thing if you wanted to, but I'm not inclined to, based on some additional list items that you can read below this one.

[1] The fact that Neon ALSO says she feels bad for her for being thought of in this way only reinforces my conviction that the game is pointing at Sarah & yelling "REMEMBER THAT SHE IS MOSTLY A SYMBOL!", tbh. Who wants to go point out how freaky the mechanics of Being An Royalty are w/ me and the boys??

[2] I will give the Wiki WrongPosters this: I can totally see this as some kind of irony thing, given that he's still missing like a fucktillion of his memories when he says it. However! As mentioned above, I have other reasons not to read it as evidence that he was ever, like, romantically interested in her.

2. As a Sheltered Youth™

We don't have a TON of information to work with RE: Sarah as, like, a person, but here are a couple of hard facts to start with: she's 19 (per the data book, but she'd have to be somewhere in the 18-to-early-20's age range regardless or her whole deal wouldn't really make much sense, imo. She's a baby...!), and she's royalty. I think this ties into her utility as a walking metaphor, among other things; she's archetypically young, fresh, & idealistic. I'd call her naïve but the game obviously isn't interested in portraying it as a weakness, so positive words only; why not.

You could argue that people look to her as a symbol of hope because she hasn't directly experienced enough strife to exhibit hopelessness or fear in response to bad news in the abstract. I find it interesting that before Jack, like, knocks the wind out of her & tells Sophia to take her outside so she can see for herself how bad things have gotten at the end of the game, she says that her duty is to die with her people if she has to, & it doesn't even seem to occur to her that she could lead at least some of them away to safety...? When she changes her mind, she still talks about herself as a symbol before she ever uses the word "leader". She sees HERSELF in terms of symbols and metaphors, and takes action based on her designated role As One Of Those. Not very practical.

There's also the dialogue you can have with the queen the first time you're allowed to run around in the throne room at the beginning of the game, where she asks Jack to smile in front of her daughters (NOT just Mia; daughters, plural). Even if she only means "dude can you be polite please," the fact that this is The thing she has to say to Jack is telling. Is it going to upset your 19-year-old daughter to see that the Guy Whose Job It Is To Kill Monsters looks serious? Why do you think this? Does your 19-year-old daughter understand how serious the situation is, generally speaking? Do you not WANT her to for some reason? Boats don't work anymore unless a weird elf messes with them first. Not thinking very hard about the implications of this is something a sheltered person does.

Residual time loop un-memories aside, a young woman in this situation is so obviously going to have a huge crush on Jack Garland no matter what. He Is So Cool, first of all, & he's also Different from the adult men she gets to see on an everyday basis (family, guards, rando townspeople[3]...). It's not like the political social scene could POSSIBLY be thriving in this world, either; it all seems to be one kingdom we're dealing with and they're kind of busy with the external threat of being Under Fucking Attack By Monsters. Does she even get fun treats like "handsome visiting dignitaries" & what-have-you? The game doesn't present us with any potential options, here. Jack is mysterious, he has special-boy Warrior of Light status, his one job & apparent life's purpose is protecting the kingdom she loves, he's pretty nice to her (even in later cycles he at least goes out of his way to be polite!), & additionally, he's shredded. THIS makes sense to me.

There's a Q&A in the data book that has something to say about JACK as a symbol & what that has to do with this whole thing but we'll get there. We'll get there.

[3] Tangent: what's up with how Cornelia's entire adult male population appears to consist of aging queens. Why did they only make models that look Like That for the NPCs? It's awesome but I have 1 quastion

3. JACK JUMPSCARE !

I'm not about to say that he's just humoring her, or anything, but please humor ME for one second & put yourself in Jack's shoes. Not the default shoes; we can have more fun than that. Maybe the Banded Boots. Blurple ones? Shaped like a cartoon would wear them? Big spikes on the back for no reason? I love those things. Anyway, you're Jack. You're working for literally the king, & the work means Everything to you for reasons you can't even necessarily explain except to say that it JUST does. The king's eldest daughter (very young adult; Never Been Outdoors; a little overly-sociable but nice enough & what do you expect from a princess, anyway) has imprinted on you like a duckling for whatever reason. You would be nice to this person, yes? You'd be patient with her while you're in town. You have Brutal Murders to be doing, but not until, like, 2 days from now, or whatever; you're sharing space with her in some capacity in the meantime & it's in your best interests to keep her happy. (You probably even enjoy doing this, if you're Jack of a Way Earlier Cycle; I'm in no way ruling that out. Sharing your music collection with an enthusiastic Baby Adult? That's fun. I think he was probably having fun. Okay, you can step out of the fun purple shoes if you want; the Humoring Me Minute has concluded; thanks.)

Also, @2000sanimeop and I think that if Jack felt that way about her Astos would have been a little More Something about how much it was gonna suck for him when she died. In Fool's Missive XXVII he uses the word "painful," but that's about it. He doesn't even bring it up in XXV, which is the one where he says he's curious about whether she'd survive being turned into a fiend (side note: Astos fucking rocks. Why did he write that down?? I love him). & Hey SPEAKING OF ASTOS,

4. I wouldn't put Jackstos on a wiki, either.

The writing in Stranger of Paradise, SERIOUSLY, WITHOUT EXAGGERATION, is some of the best I've seen in literally anything ever. It suits not just its medium but also its sort of Place in History Relative to Other Video Games & the things it chose to DO with that medium & that niche INSANELY well. It is CUSTOMIZED. It's SO INTENTIONAL. I can't get too far into this or we'll be here all day, but the essence of what I want to say here is: there are relatively few facts presented to us by this game, compared to the implications we can go about drawing from those facts & other, external sources of context.

Sarah calls Jack her first love; that's a fact. No facts are presented to us that REALLY say much one way or the other[4] about what Jack thinks of this, himself; "fucktillion memories missing" Jack says he doesn't care, but he's missing a fucktillion of his memories, and DLC2 Jack has a set of dialogue options (hi Anne the Malboro I love you Anne the Malboro) that can point either way depending on what the player chooses, which is kind of nothing, on balance. As the audience, we can (should!) draw whatever conclusion we want about it, but none of those conclusions are text.

[4] I WILL GET TO THE DATA BOOK IN ONE SECOND. HOLD ON.

And, okay, please let me level with you. Let's be on the same page. Jack & Astos had some kind of thing going on, imo, OBVIOUSLY, but I want to be CLEAR and I want to get CREDIT for the things I'M bringing to the table to help generate this conviction. I drew that conclusion & I read that reading based on subtext, context, personal history, personal preference, & sheer gay zest for life. It is also, emphatically, NOT TEXT.

Astos refers to Jack with the ol' "...friend" in Fool's Missive XXI. He calls him "my Jack" in Fool's Missive XXXI. Canonically, textually, he has some big fucking COMPLICATED fucking feelings about this man. These are facts. If you're playing this game as Some Guy, I can see how you could potentially absorb these facts & still pay them much less regard[5] than I did & continue to. My argument here is that god I wish I lived in a world where Some Guy could extend the same courtesy to me and not treat Sarah's textual affection for Jack as something that necessarily indicates Some Kind Of Reciprocal Romantic Whatever, Definitely, Obviously, Of Course.

[5] Longer Tangent: I have been informed that the Some Guys of the world are currently pretty good at Recognizing a character that behaves in a way that's Pretty Gay, but tend to stop there, possibly for the combined reasons that A. they're not very familiar with a lot of the the ways gay relationships often work (you know, soul resonance. mutual recognition. sharing a brain etc.) and B. the Object Of Affection is usually the player character and they subconsciously shy away from thinking of a Guy They're Supposed To Identify With as gay. This is practically a lead-in to an entire separate post I could make, so I'll leave it at that, lol.

The writing is too good for that kind of assumption! I'M SERIOUS!! It's mind-blowingly subtle & endlessly fascinating to hold up to the light & view from every possible angle, and "Jack & Sarah were in love" + "Jack & Astos were in love" are BOTH ANGLES. I'm personally very very interested in giving the text credit for that. I think it's impressive. I think it's really, really cool, and I think it was on purpose. Speaking of which,

5. Word of God agrees with me, btw

This is from the Q&A section on page 156 of the Confidential File. The translations below are my own (I think they're straightforward enough, but lmk if you know more than me & I'm actually being stupid in there somewhere. Alt text has the JPN, if you want to copypaste it or something). Someone asked:

Why is it that you established Garland as someone Sarah has a romantic interest in?

The answer is from Daisuke Inoue (director, one of 3; the other 2 are from Team Ninja; he's from Square Enix):

That was because, from a narrative standpoint, we wanted Sarah to be the kind of person who holds onto hope. You can imagine that she saw the "hope" to save the world in Jack, a potential Warrior of Light. Sarah is seen by her people as a symbol of a bright future, but if there were nobody to give her hope, that might destabilize her emotionally. As for whether she felt genuine love for Jack, or just mistook her feelings of admiration towards him for "first love," we'll leave that to your interpretation.

The first time I read this, I thought the question was implying the aforementioned Reciprocal Something, but on closer inspection that doesn't even seem to be true! "思い人" seems to indicate a directional relationship; as in, the question assumes that Jack is an object of affection to Sarah, but assumes nothing about what Jack thinks.

Also, the answer uses the word "初恋" (hatsukoi), which is a very established Concept as far as "first love" goes, but in that one cutscene, Sarah says "初めての恋" (hajimete no koi), which is. Different, but I couldn't tell you how, lol. It's Not The Exact Same Phrase, but I'm not sure whether it's meaningfully different in this context. If I had to guess, I'd say that IF ANYTHING it could be a way of saying "first love" without invoking the cultural CONSTRUCT of First Love (as much)? But it's whatever. The localization holds up. All sources show that Sarah had Feelings about Jack, and all sources CONSPICUOUSLY neglect to mention Jack's feelings about her.

It was on purpose. This is my license to be as annoying as I want for one second here. I am right. All the other writing in this game is notably subtle, efficient, intentional, and skilled, AND ALSO, WHEN do you ever see anyone write such a richly beautiful, mostly-subtextual relationship between two men, which can easily be read as a romantic thing, and NOT explicitly canonize a very possible romantic relationship between at least one of those men and a woman, like not even in an interview or anything. What the fuck, man.

I'm putting away the Respectable Scholar Hat now. This is so funny. The person asking this question didn't EVEN go as far as assuming Jack & Sarah had any kind of Actual Romance going on, & the answer STILL dials it back to "she might have been conflating her feelings about Jack AS A SYMBOL with actual affection, also. We'll let you decide : ) ". This game is everything ever.

#stranger of paradise #that's it that's the only tag. there's enough words under that readmore for anyone&everyone. happy weekend!!!

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yanderelmk · 1 year

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Hey! So saw your ask yanderes and I decided to ask :)

It is okay if I ask : MK, Mei, Redson, Wukong, Macauqe, Syntax, Mayor, and Nezha ?

If I can then what would they do if their darling decided to just end the friendship because of their issues? Ahaha... TRUST ISSUES. their darling don't trust them no more and decided to end the friendship. And their darling will not be hearing any excuses from them and will end that friendship right there.

(My issues😘)

Hope you can do!

- 🌼 (did I request too much?)

A/N: You're good! I said no character limits, so no limit shall there be. Just a lil heads-up for anyone else, yes there are no limits, but do be warned I'll be taking extra time on longer asks to make sure everything flows properly A/N: Since Tumblr won't let me write too much (and started not letting me post it) I had to break it up into two parts! Don't worry I'll be posting it soon after this one <> CW: Kidnapping 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 "Wait- what do you mean you don't want to see me anymore?" MK felt tears beginning to sting his eyes. "Listen, I know sometimes I kinda got intense, but I told you I don't mean to scare you. It's just- when I see someone who looks like they're gonna hurt you I get really angry, and I want to keep you safe. Y/N, please! Don't go!" He suddenly grabs you by the shoulders. "I can change, I swear! Just don't leave me!" As you turn and begin to walk away, his breathing gets shorter as panic begins to swell within his heart. In a blink, he's struck you unconscious. "It'll be okay...it'll be okay...I'll just get you home. Then we'll talk this out, it'll all be okay..." MK repeats this to himself like a calming mantra as he carries you off. 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 Upon you saying you're breaking things off, Mei laughs. "Ahh, that's a good one Y/N. You really had me goin' there for a minute." When you continue to stare at her, she slowly sets down her milkshake. "You're...not kidding? But why would you want to stop hangin' out with me? Don't we have fun together? Don't you like hanging out with me?" She stands up from her seat, hand twitching towards her jade sword. "Who is it, huh? Who's so much better than me that you're willing to just throw away what we have for them? What do they have that I don't?! Are they prettier? Smarter? WHAT IS IT?!" Mei can feel her power beginning to spark up, but she's too upset to truly care. "TELL ME!!!" ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 Before you can even get the words out, Red Son's got you by the throat and is lifting you up into the air. His hair is completely aflame, and his eyes are blazing. "So that's it? You think you're just going to leave me? Well there's just one teensey little problem there, Y/N." He pulls you closer until your faces are inches apart. "You. Are. Mine. And I am not in the habit of letting go of what I rightfully own." Red Son's fingers are squeezing your throat, he doesn't seem to notice how much force he's using. "Now we are GOING back to my home, you will SIT in the dungeon and THINK about what you've done, and I EXPRESSLY FORBID YOU from EVER mentioning leaving me again. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡 "Aww, it's cute that you think you can leave." Unbeknownst to Y/N, the seal to the entrance to Flower-Fruit Mountain begins glowing brighter, sealing them in. "Look Y/N, I think you've had a very long, very stressful day. Why don't you..." He picks from his fur a few strands and blows on them, transforming them into the sleep bugs he's used so often in his Westward journey. Before you can jerk back, he's got you by the throat and has dropped them upon you. "Take a little nap? Then when you wake up, you'll feel better! I'm feelin' like goin' out for dinner, we can talk then!" As the world begins to fade and your eyes begin to close you hear his laugh before he says, "Sweet dreams."

#lmk #yandere lmk #lmk yandere #lmk yandere x reader #lmk yandere mk x reader #lmk yandere mei x reader #lmk yandere wukong x reader #lmk yandere red son x reader #lmk ask the yanderes #lmk yandere mk #lmk yandere mei #lmk yandere red son #lmk yandere wukong

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swords-of-a-soilder · 3 months

Text

Remove Problematic CCs

Section 2

"The Qsmp is problematic"

So fun fact twitter hates this fandom and everything it stands for, I'm not kidding when I say the amount of people I saw calling the fandom, toxic, racist, misgontic and ableist is interesting to say the least.

So of course when the SulhasSpace issue happened some people ran with it as proof that the fandom is the problem. Now I've show you guys an racist account before in the last account of interest (burnbook Qsmp) So I'm not here to pretend it's not a problem, it absolutely is.

So yes I get where these are coming from to some degree but Twitter doesn't forgive or forget, and there's of course the fact that not ever "fan" is actually a fan.

That being said they are two sides to Qsmp twitter right now,

1)Chill fun time, drawing your faves.

2)your faves are problematic and if you don't push for them to be kick out your a terrible person.

A common discussion I see on the twitter is often, "oh you're defending your faves, you call out any creator but your faves" completely ingoring the fact that most the stuff their holding said faves accountable for are ages old.

They call us parasocial but then make post after post advocating for members to be removed from the SMP, it's making rounds, so I want to clear any misinformation on Twitter and make it clear when creators apologize.

I bring you back to this tweet (please don't even interact with this person Thank you.)

You might remember them from the bonus section, this was posted jan 5 2024 with 1.3K likes (Jesus) so allow me to clear the air on some accusations.

In the reply of this they link a thread stating all problematic behaviors of creators, however MAJORITY of the this thread is just attacking the fan base I'm not even kidding.

Here's the thing, the bad apples aren't the fandom, it was this same behavior that had people attack dsmp fans.

Say what you want about Dream but you can acknowledge the dsmp fandom got so much hate for simply existing because a few of them were bad.

Because as someone who's been in both, and left both oddly who was previously a full on dream Stan and just sorta grew out of him. People hated us just for liking the dsmp.

They attacked minors in cosplay called us fatherless and cringe (and like yeah but still) overall make fun of Nurodiverst kids for having hyperfixations, and their justification was we're all terrible people.

Here's my thing, you don't actually care, you don't care about the alleged victims or the people who's lives are at risk; You want to make the fandom look bad.

You could have easily said "A person on twitter told another they hope the us gets bomb" and yeah I understand it was in the context of the Qsmp but people are not their interset, don't water people down to the things they like, then you're just making stereotypes.

How is it any different than saying, "a kpop stan did this, a furry did that,"

Also while I'm on this compersion of both I've noticed a constant conflict in regards to the Forever situation vs Dream situation with the parties on either side the other cc is guilty but theirs isn't.

I noticed this as soon as the accusations dropped actually a lot of people even here on Tumblr, where saying "this is what we deserved" and at "least dream didn't actually do it"

Tô be honest I noticed the fandom was at odds before that even, they were sudden talk here on Tumblr which means the topic likely came from Twitter of the dsmp compered to the Qsmp.

And I'll be honest dsmp was getting dragged, I read these thinking, 'why are we comparing them, they're clearly different with their own stories.' I still wonder that.

I don't want to fight with dream SMP fans, I use to be one of you , I had a freaking fan fic plan that was just c:! ranboo getting teleported into the Qsmp.

Why don't have to fight, but I guess with dream being unlikable, that makes things very hard.

Anyways I'm getting of track, when this person does have a important Calm it's often.. wrong

Ok no, to both of these.

1) she was not the only woman on the server, Jaiden joined the server at the very beginning, so unless I miss an noticed that Jaiden actually used macs pronounces that's a fuckin lie.

You can see Jaiden right there behind Foolish, on the very first day. This isn't hard to confirm, it doesn't even take a second.

I read the tweet and immediately went, nah that's not true I remember Jaiden, And what do you know Jaiden was in fact a member at that time.

(looking at this image gives me so much Nostalgia omg..)

2) she was not the only one being harassed, in fact they literally contradict their own statement with proof bad was receiving hate at the same time

Political lore, as in election season? I mean it must be I can't think of another political Qsmp event that bad was involved it huh crazy but If thats the case then Baghera wasn't the only one receiving hate thats... that's crazy, you're crazy.

Non of the tweets that screenshot are misogynistic, it's just people who believe the dream accusations criticing her attendance to his concert.

Also let me be clear real quick, I am AFAB in fact tmi I haven't even gotten on T, it's difficult to here and I'm afraid of getting hate crimed.

So I understand misgony, I live it, this is not what this is; Criticizing a woman isn't inherently misgony.

When you guys said "Qsmp had a misgony problem," is that what you guys meant, a woman gets hate and it's automatically misgony and not a section of the fandom being toxic..? Ok

#qsmp #qsmp investigation #qsmp discourse

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oneshotnewbie · 9 months

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HI!! Could you do a suicidal baby danvers oneshot? they're in highschool, probs the final year, and they're getting bullied really badly. One day when they walk into one of their classes they find their desk with things (like "f*g" or "fatass"). They skip the rest of their school day after that and go straight home, they write a suicide note and leave it for Alex and Kara. Make it super angsty, maybe a happy ending?:) I hope you have an amazing day, I love your page<33

Authors note: Way too long and a little rushed, but I wanted to put everything you asked me into this request. I tried to shorten it a bit but I didn't succeed. So sorry for that! Also parted in two parts because Tumblr did not let me post the whole thing :(

Trigger warning!This one-shot includes the topic of suicide and the plot is presented. If this triggers you too easily or you just can´t handle the subject, I urge you NOT to read this work. I am NOT embellishing this topic under any circumstance. Read at your own risk.

Summary: Life consists of small moments that shape us, stay in our memories and make us who we are. Often we don't even know what influence we have on other people, how we appear to the outside world and how we affect other people's lives. And this influence leaves traces

ᕚ---ᕘ

When the alarm clock woke you up at 6am sharp, a hand grabbed the annoying troublemaker and slammed it against the wall. Grumbling, you whispered some swear words under your breath and piled the covers back over your head to avoid the outside world.

Unfortunately, the night always passed too quickly for you. You did not want to go back to school, lost all desire to return to your classroom every morning. For you, school was not a pleasure or an increase in your knowledge, but a single struggle for survival.

The knock on your door made you roll your eyes in annoyance. You quickly pushed the covers back against the end of the bed and sat up, rubbing a hand across your face to wipe the rest of sleep out of your eyes.

"Sleepyhead, are you awake?" your sister´s female voice asked muffled through the thick wood and you hesitated a moment with your answer, thinking about telling her that you were sick so you could stay at home, but you decided against it. "I am awake, I will be right there"

When you heard the footsteps moving away from your door, you slowly got in motion to get out of bed, leaving your small but beautiful kingdom to march into hell instead. In your room, you felt like you were in a glass box that shielded you from the outside world like a protective bubble. Here you were safe and at peace with all the people who loved you.

With a thoughtful face, you made your way to the open kitchen where Kara had already started conjuring up your breakfast. Throwing your backpack onto one of the free chairs at the dining table, you sat down on the bar stool opposite the blonde. Your head dropped to the wooden counter as your finger silently traced the texture.

"Is everything okay?" she murmured between pursed lips. Her head was cocked to the side, her long, honey blonde hair that was tied in a loose ponytail hanging down one of her shoulders. The knife that had recently been used loosely standing in her fist as she gazed at you intently. "You seem so calm to me lately"

Kara had suspected that something was on your mind, her sisterly instincts told her that something was very wrong. For weeks, there was something in your life that bothered you. You have been acting differently lately. Your behavior became withdrawn and calmer. You did not seem to have an appetite- you hardly ate anything anymore. However, she refrained from forcing you into a confession and possibly pushing you further away from her than you have been since your character transformation.

You looked over your shoulder and faltered, clearly uncomfortable at being asked the question. You did not want to tell her the truth, nor did you want to lie to your sister. Yet you were not ready to tell her what was going on in your life.

The blonde would drag the redhead into this situation and both of them might want to talk to your teacher or even your classmates. But that would probably make the situation worse, trigger further harassment.

"Yes. Yes, I am fine," you said quietly and turned your gaze to an imaginary point. Kara, on the other hand, kept her direct gaze strictly on you while an affirmative growl escaped her lips. "Actually, I am not hungry at all. Can you pack it for me?"

She sighed and walked around the kitchen counter to get to you. Her hands grabbed your shoulders and gently stroked them before she pulled you back and gently hugged you from behind. The sudden, loud pounding of your heart and the nervous playing with your fingers, made it clear to the young woman that you seemed to be struggling with yourself. "You can always talk to me, okay? I am here for you"

You snuggled into her arms, which hugged you tightly and full of strength into her body while one of them gently stroked your hair. "I know," you assured her, your voice breaking slightly as you tilted your head up to look at her. "You are always there when I need you"

ᕚ---ᕘ

Despite getting up and leaving the house on time, you missed fifteen minutes of the first lesson. You had dawdled your way to school, getting more nervous each time you took a step further into the building.

Walking up the last few steps to your classroom and turning left down the hallway, you reached the first door of the corridor where math had already started. You nervously wiped your sweaty hands on your jeans and mentally prepared yourself for the impending confrontation. Then, you opened the door and the noise level in the class dropped significantly.

"You are late," your teacher spoke as he sat down at his desk and wrote an entry into the register. You paused at the door and surveyed the nineteen other teenagers before he looked at you warningly and you knew that because of all your delays, the crosses behind your name lined up like on a cementary. "Will not happen again"

On the way to your seat in the back row, the most famous girl tripped you and you stumbled, but managed to catch yourself before you hit the floor. Laughter filled the room and a lame joke was made about you. "Too stupid to walk, Danvers?"

You pained facial expression smoothed out and with an inconspicuous sideways glace, you looked appraisingly at Cindy before your teacher´s loud voice called for order. He ordered you to finally sit down and not disturb the class further than you already did.

Before you even sat down, you saw the doodled on your table that you had not noticed before. They had been re-scribed into the surface of the wood and highlighted with black marker. There is one word you were particularly sad to read about: fag.

Tears welled up in your eyes, which you tried to hold back as your stomach began to cramp up. You made no secret about your sexuality and were relatively open on the subject, yet you did not think it would ever be used against you.

"Who was that?" your trembling voice made it´s way between quiet laughter and silenced them completely. All eyes were on you, but they were by no means pitiable. With that, you turned around and left the room straight away.

The school hallway was not the widest construction and even with few students it seemed to be bursting at the seams. Other teenagers walked past you, it got a little cramped, and you were jostled and pushed against the wall.

Shortly thereafter, you fist collided with the wall, repeatedly hitting the white plaster in short frequencies. Tears rolled down your cheeks and mixed with the blood that smeared on your knuckles as you wiped them from your eyes.

But you did not care, you were fed up. The barrell overran and drowned your energy below zero.

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journey-to-the-attic · 26 days

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Hi Kin. I wanted to ask, how did you manage things like writer's block or creative burnout while writing JTTA? I'm midway through a longfic now and it's kind of exhausting. I feel like I'm whining but I barely get any comments or asks or anything.

hi anon! honestly i'm not sure if i was the right person to ask this, because i... kind of didn't? as in, i didn't really have these problems - boring answer, i know!

i got lucky because i hit a sweet spot where the base story and characters were strong, but with just enough gaps in plot, worldbuilding, development, etc. such that the momentum of filling everything in carried me through the whole process. but there were definitely a lot of occasions where i sat there thinking "okay i have no idea what to do now"

in those cases, often i had to just step back and ruminate on it for a little while - i've pretty much constantly got little ideas bouncing around my head, and sometimes they hit each other like snowballs and form into more fully-fledged plot points, scenes, dialogue, so on. i try to keep track of these in notes apps, personal discord channels, etc, and dip into them if i'm stuck on something!

not sure if your fic is for obey me, but this could still apply even if not - with all the pop quizzes and devilgrams that put the characters in a bunch of new contexts, it's helpful seeing how that character's static vs dynamic traits persist/change depending on them, and often that'll give you inspiration as well. depending on what you've got available, you could browse through source material, or brainstorm aus, whichever you enjoy most

i'm really not sure HOW i've stuck with obey me for so long, but somehow it's just stuck with me. i don't remember being so invested in it before jtta, so that's probably why, but i just really love these guys, and i suppose that's why i never burnt out of it? i think it was also because i knew what story i wanted to tell, and i really wanted to make sure ik got her happy ending, and that carried me through as well

seriously, though - do take breaks. every writer's mileage varies, so take a step back whenever you need to. writing fics should be fun! sometimes it does feel like a chore, and it becomes more like 'the only thing i hate more than writing is not writing', but it happens to all of us. sometimes you've just got to rest until your second wind comes along

in terms of comments and such... yeah, it's a tough one! the unfortunate thing is that a vast majority of readers - even if they really enjoyed your writing! - won't leave a comment. don't take this as a direct reflection on your writing! often the reader can't think of what to say, is too shy, or quite simply forgot

again though... i'm not sure if i'm the best person to ask for advice here! i started publishing jtta without much expectation for an audience, given the genre of game it's written for, so any attention was more a nice surprise than anything. i suppose that, later on, when the fic was more well-established, i did start holding some expectation of response - and it really is tough when you don't get as much of one as you were hoping for

i've seen people talking about how the ask culture on tumblr has died down a lot in recent times, so i'm sure you're not the only one feeling like this! all i can suggest is trying to find more friends (mutuals?) and... networking, i guess? i've seen advice saying to share your fic within communities of writers, too

i can't honestly say if these things'll work, because i'm very bad about interacting with a wider fandom in anything - i usually keep to myself, so often i don't have much of an expectation for how and when people come chat. as in real life, i'm only a chatterbox when approached first haha

i'm not sure how helpful this has been, but i'm rooting for you! if you'd like to share your fic here, please do - though i understand if that's something you'd rather keep to yourself as well.

creating things is a joy - it might take some searching to find a circle, but the beauty of the internet is that you will, somewhere out there! wishing you the best ^^

#answering asks #anon asks

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apocalypticavolition · 4 months

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Let's (re)Read The Great Hunt! Chapter 23: The Testing

Welcome back to my reread! The way to see spoilers for the whole series, yes that's right not just this book but everything all the way to the end, will come but once. Be steadfast. Or just click wildly, whatever you like. But if you like not being spoiled, don't click below and just keep doomscrolling through tumblr with no hope of escape.

This chapter has the Flame icon because it concerns one of the initiation rites of the White Tower.

Centered under the dome was a thing made of three rounded, silver arches, each just tall enough to walk under, sitting on a thick silver ring with their ends touching each other. Arches and ring were all of one piece.

So what the heck is this thing, one wonders. I've seen people suggest it's a holodeck with the safeties off, though that seems frivolous even by AoL standards since it seems to be connected to genuine mirror worlds. It may be some device meant for observing and experiencing such worlds that has become damaged in some way, causing memory loss. Maybe one of the forgotten Darkfriends of old built it as a bizarre punishment system.

All four Aes Sedai wore their shawls, as Sheriam did; blue-fringed for Sheriam, red for the swarthy woman by the table, green, white, and gray for the three around the arches.

We (a word which here means "the wiki") don't know who most of these ladies are, but apparently the "swarthy woman" is Silviana. Not too sure how we know this exactly (the Companion?) but hey! Hi Silviana! You're delightful.

“The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills, and when it wills. Patience is a virtue that must be learned, but we must all be ready for the change of an instant.”

Nynaeve was patient really, by waiting at all, and she's more than ready for change. The Tower's usual deliberate refusal to communicate is silly under these circumstances. They could have given her something to do.

Nynaeve shook her head. It sounded either like too much to swear or too little, and she said so.

She's exactly right. The First Oath is too little and easily sidestepped, the others give up far too much utility and helped hinder the institution.

Light, child, I am trying to teach you what any other woman standing where you are would have learned over the course of years.

Honestly Sheriam is pretty good as an undercover Black, giving a huge infodump that's legit and not misleading. And I suppose it's pretty appropriate we transition from Moiraine acknowledging the Black to a big spiel by one.

Once you begin, you must continue to the end. Refuse to go on, and no matter your potential, you will be very kindly put out of the Tower with enough silver to support you for a year, and you will never be allowed back.

Oh look it's another policy that only guarantees the Tower doesn't get the numbers it needs.

Some women have entered, and never come out.

And don't forget that this is a price of the ter'angreal they chose to use. They aren't selecting for great women this way, just the stubborn ones who get lucky.

You may turn back now, right now, and I will put your name in the novice book, and you will have only one mark against you.

Literally the only sensible winnowing process they have! If after three chances a woman still doesn't think she's ready, then unless it's the Tower's teachings itself that failed her (and we don't see evidence that such happens often), it's a good sign that she's not ever going to be ready.

I must make Moiraine pay for what she has done to us. I must.

I'm still sad she never quite gets to act on this. It's such a great motivation.

Nynaeve’s cheeks colored at forgetting already what Sheriam had told her on the way down from her room. Hastily she removed her clothes, her shoes and stockings.

Note that she's not at all ashamed to be naked in front of strangers.

And note that this is the first of many "all ladies must be naked" sequences. Yes there's some historical accuracy here, but you'll note that the Black Tower never picks up such a tradition even under Taim's messed up supervision.

Taking a deep breath, she went on straight, through more passages that all looked exactly alike.

It is the nature of video games, even magic post-apocalyptic ones, that sooner or later someone will reinvent Colossal Cave Adventure.

Dimly, she remembered playing mazes on paper as a child; there had been a trick to finding your way out, but she could not bring it to mind.

There are many tricks to exhausting mazes, though not every trick works for every maze. The simplest and most well known is to pick a wall and follow it. In a maze where both entry and exit are upon the outer perimeter, this is guaranteed to work eventually. On the other hand, if you start in the middle like Nynaeve (or if you want to reach the center from the outside), this might not work. The walls may not all be connected, so you loop around to where you started without ever reaching your destination.

She started to take the left fork . . . and spun around at another glimpse of movement. There was nothing there, but this time she was sure. There had been someone behind her. Was someone.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how pathetic is it that dream Aginor manages to be a more compelling threat than he was in book 1 or books 6 through 9?

“You are a pretty one, girl. I will enjoy you.” Suddenly Nynaeve remembered she wore not a stitch.

While obviously the main threat here is the implication of rape, let's step past that and get into the metaphorical. Nudity isn't the normal state of affairs in the arch worlds, only this one. This is Nynaeve beyond the Two Rivers, in a place where the authority she covers herself with is entirely absent. Aginor isn't just the Forsaken, he's also to a degree everyone she's had to deal with since she's left home - even the Aes Sedai who gleefully relish recruiting such a powerhouse.

“You dare? You dare!” He quivered, and spittle leaked down his chin.

This is honestly a pretty good prep for how scary we should actually think the Forsaken are: not at all.

“You cannot! It cannot be!”

Another reason I think Aginor is as much a stand-in for the Aes Sedai as he is for his allies in this sequence is that protests that Nynaeve can't have done awesome stuff and pointless hostility define their reactions to her.

And she could feel Aginor doing . . . something, as well. Dimly she felt it, and far distant, as if it were something she could never truly know, but around her she saw the effects and knew them for what they were.

Early installment weirdness? Or perhaps one of the tells that this isn't real; the arch isn't really drawing on saidin (or perhaps draws to a lesser extent on both), so Nynaeve has a dim awareness of it now that she's connected.

She looked back at Aginor, just in time to see him crawl out of sight over the mounded stone and disappear. She hissed in frustration.

Finally, and rather disappointingly in contradiction to what I've been saying, the last reason to view Aginor as a stand-in for the Aes Sedai is that to succeed in what she has to do, Nynaeve needs to give up her feud with Moiraine and not worry about what she's up to out of sight.

“You are washed clean of what sin you may have done,” the Aes Sedai intoned, “and of those done against you. You are washed clean of what crime you may have committed, and of those committed against you. You come to us washed clean and pure, in heart and soul.”

See what I mean? No reason to include this if not to say that the Moiraine feud is being wiped clean.

“That isn’t supposed to be possible. You should not even remember being able to channel.”

"Not possible! You dare channel in our sacred space?"

It's really rather a blatant parallel now that I'm seeing it.

She kept her memories, and she channeled the One Power when she was threatened. And she came out with her abilities burned to nothing, unable to channel, unable even to sense the True Source. The second to go in was also warded, and she, too, was destroyed in the same way.

To me it sounds like it's the wards plus channeling that cause problems, not the channeling itself. That's one hell of a vicious anti-cheating mechanism though.

There was more than an air of neglect about it, whitewash faded, a shutter hanging loose, the rotted end of a rafter showing at a gap in the roof tiles.

A final final reason (for real this time?) to consider Aginor a stand-in for the Aes Sedai as much as himself is that otherwise the past/present system doesn't line up. The Forsaken are real, present threats and the Two Rivers isn't exactly, but if Aginor is as much about Nynaeve's fear of the Power (oh shit it's that too) and the Aes Sedai then it makes sense that that's a trial she's already put behind her just by being in the Tower. Abandoning her notions of herself as a Two Rivers woman though, that's a harder struggle. It's not Bran neglecting his inn, it's Nynaeve neglecting the whole of her home.

“If Malena knows you’re here, there will be trouble. I just know Cenn went scurrying off to find her. He’s the Mayor, now.”

Malena's name of course comes from the Latin "malus", meaning "bad" or "evil".

She beat Alsbet all around the Green with a stick, and none of us who saw had the nerve to try to stop it.

Nice try, silver arches! There's no possible Mirror World where the Two Rivers folk would watch the blacksmith's wife get beat up and not immediately tear the aggressor to shreds.

She said that was why they died; the Light abandoned them. She talks about sin all the time.

Sin doesn't really get brought up a whole bunch in this universe. Like obviously becoming a Darkfriend is sinning and the Whitecloaks claim all sorts of stuff is tantamount to being a Darkfriend, but it's not as if more mundane behavior gets this description usually. Yet in this chapter the Aes Sedai mention it without and Malena worries about it within. Is she yet another reflection of Nynaeve's fear of the Aes Sedai? Destroying families, marking men with the Dragon... It's not too far off from how Nynaeve sees Moiraine, is it?

If she can’t make you afraid of her, she makes you think you need her for the children.

Is this how Nynaeve internally views her discussion with Moiraine after Shadar Logoth? Moiraine couldn't make Nynaeve be afraid of her but she could make her worry about Egwene and the boys even though she was the reason Nynaeve worried about them at all.

The way back—No! These are my people!

Not anymore. :(

“We have to run. We have to hide. Nynaeve, come on. Cenn will have told her who you are. She hates anyone even to speak of you.”

Does Nynaeve think Moiraine doesn't much like Lan speaking of her, I wonder.

“You are washed clean of false pride. You are washed clean of false ambition. You come to us washed clean, in heart and soul.”

Nynaeve's not a Wisdom anymore. It wasn't her real path.

The third is the worst. “I’m afraid,” she whispered. What could be worse than what I just did?

Having to walk away from the happy ending already won for you.

The city had a thousand gardens, but she preferred this wild garden on the hilltop.

Because a garden growing by itself in what was so recently the Blight feels more wonderous than those maintained by human hands?

“Go back? Where? To Emond’s Field? If you wish it. I’ll send letters to Morgase, and command an escort.”

Morgase of course won't be queen at this point. I wonder what reason besides dramatic necessity causes the arches to get a few things wrong.

To her horror, she found herself remembering him as her husband, remembering laughter and tears, bitter arguments and sweet making up. They were dim memories, but she could feel them growing stronger, warmer.

Did some fools in the AoL think that the Dark One's reach was limited purely to their timeline? Did they build this device in the hopes of finding a place beyond his touch, that would let them forget the horrors of the Shadow and recall all the sweet memories in its place instead?

I could stay here. With Lan. Nothing has changed. Her thoughts turned. Nothing has changed. Egwene is alone in the White Tower. Rand will channel the Power and go mad. And what of Mat and Perrin? Can they take back any shred of their lives? And Moiraine, who tore all our lives apart, still walks free.

It says a great deal about Nynaeve's character that the thing that gets her out of this gilded cage is her love for the others.

And also, I do so love ironic echoes, even if they're only separated by a single sentence.

She tried to picture the arch in her mind, to shape it and form it to the last detail, curve of gleaming metal filled with a glow like snowy fire. It seemed to waver there, in front of her, first there between her and the trees, then not, then there.

Perhaps this is just an ordinary entertainment device. Perhaps you forget for the immersive experience and then the arch is meant to be a primer to remind you of what you're supposed to call back to you. It seems unlikely that only Nynaeve would have this capability, after all. Presumably others should have been able to call the archway back, if only they'd known how.

Child, almost every woman who does this says much the same thing. It is no small thing to be made to face your fears.

It's no wonder so many women go Black, with trauma being such a central part of their identities as sisters. And the arches were only found after the Trolloc Wars, when the corruption began in earnest...

A gift from Ishamael?

“There shouldn’t be any scarring. And how did you only get two, and both placed so precisely? If you tangled yourself in a blackthorn bush, you should be covered with scratches and thorns.”

If scarring yourself permanently is part of the exit conditions, I could definitely see this being something Ishamael specifically devised. Not from scratch of course, he's not an engineer, but a relic he deliberately tampered with, setting admin access at a high price. There is always a price.

The Amyrlin’s eyes seemed to hold a dark glow. Nynaeve’s shiver had nothing to do with being naked and wet.

Yeah, this really only cements the Aginor thing. Too late now to escape, Nynaeve! You've committed.

Next time: A whole bunch of characters from book 1 come back. Some of them plan on being important this book, and others are only flirting with importance for the next three or twelve.

#let's read #wheel of time #wot #robert jordan #rand al'thor #wheel of time spoilers #wot spoilers #nynaeve al'meara #sheriam bayanar #silviana brehon #aginor #cenn buie #marin al'vere #lan mandragoran #siuan sanche

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regal-rosebuds · 25 days

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Who Is Regal Rosebuds?

ꔫ I am hosting a tea party, I assume that's what you're here for! Allow me to introduce myself:

ꔫ I am Rosie!! I use she/he/they, along with some neos, and identify as a little-leaning flip! You don't have to call me that though, I love love love nicknames! Call me whatever you'd like!!!

ꔫ My tea party has lots of different teas to taste and pastries to try!

ꔫ Sometimes, when I'm big, I write posts educating people on age regression and terms involving it (a masterlist of those posts can be found here! Or I post comforting cg posts. Or even worksheets that I created!

ꔫ Sometimes, when I'm small, I post small things -- things I feel, things I think, things I'm doing! This often comes with a whole lot of stimboard and headcanon reblogs!

ꔫ I've been in the community for quite some time now, while I don't know everything, I feel that I know quite a bit! I love answering questions, please ask them! I've even helped run a few agere discord servers, and I own one right now! More on that in a bit!

ꔫ My likes, dislikes, hobbies, etc. differ a lot between whether I am big or little! However, here are a few things that are consistent:

I love a royal aesthetic! Princesses, princes, knights, gold, castles, etc.

And I love to chat!

ꔫ Some stuff about big me:

I am 18 years old and studying biology in uni!

I'm an avid anime watcher, kdrama watcher, and reader!

I game A LOT.

I think of myself as well-spoken/written, caring, outgoing, detail oriented and as a leader!

ꔫ Some stuff about small me:

My small age is quite variable, but it typically falls around 3!

Some animals I get associated with when small are mouse, bunny and koi fish!

I typically get a bit more soft-spoken/written, sensitive, and needing leadership!

While I'm definitely big on "typical" little stuff like Bluey, coloring, and stuffed animals, I also have a variety of "atypical" interests which are usually just what I am currently into while big but in the lens of someone tiny!

ꔫ Pint-Sized Palace (or PSP) is my age regression discord server! As you may be able to tell, there is a medieval fantasy theme! There is a link on my blog with an invite! Truthfully, right now, it is very small and often times quiet, but I hope to foster a good community that I can be proud of! All of the staff have worked in agere servers before and we'd love to have you.

ꔫ My asks are always open and I encourage you to use them, even if it is just to say hi! This also goes for my reblogs, comments, and messages! I'd love to make some tumblr friends and, more specifically, some agere friends!

ꔫ If you have read this far, thank you very much! I did not anticipate to be so long-winded with this, but that's alright. Anyhow, I'm excited to continue on with my posts and hope that you all may get to know me better as well!

#agere #agere blog #agere community #age regression #age regressor #sfw agere #age dreaming #sfw age regression #sfw agere blog #sfw interaction only #introduction post #regal rosebuds

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manikasu-nyx · 1 year

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winters in sumeru (part 2)

so this is part two of my gixrsecretsanta2022 thing since I (think I) hit the word limit on the last post! one again, I hope you enjoy @kunikushi <3333 (part one is here)

charas/content: cyno, gender neutral reader, cyno's Very Bad jokes, weird formatting again bc tumblr Hates Me and I have to post from my phone

Cyno:

Your huff dissipated into a puff of smoke as you stuck your hands in your pockets, walking down the sidewalk, still fuming. You had gotten into a fight with your boyfriend earlier, and the last thing you wanted to do was be near him. You stormed out of his dorm, tears pricking your eyes in his lack of attempt to stop you. You told yourself you didn't care, but you did. It had hurt.

Trying to get your mind off of it, you had walked into a cafe you and Cyno frequented during lunch often, grabbing a table for yourself in the back. It was an open mic night, and you decided to try and get your mind off things by listening to other people's attempts at performing, but that couldn't have been further from what happened.

Your mind had gone back to your previous arguments, which were increasing in frequency with the arrival of winter. He's studying too much, you're not studying enough, you don't tell him when you go out with friends and he's worried sick about where you are, you're not a child that has to tell him everywhere you go, he's out late with his own affairs anyway, it was a lot, a lot more than you were used to. And that made you worry. What would happen to the two of you? You felt a storm was brewing in your gut, and you did not like it one bit.

"Did you hear about the cartoonist found dead at his home? The details are sketchy."

Oh god. Oh god that was baaaaad. And from that, you knew exactly who was on stage. You whipped your head over to see your silver-haired boyfriend on stage, telling very, very bad jokes. From the looks of the audience, he had been for a while. While he was in the middle of explaining why his last joke was funny, you stood up and left. Bad jokes were not what you needed right now.

Unfortunately for you, Cyno had caught a glimpse of you walking out and made the split-second decision to quickly end his set. "And that's all I have for tonight. Sorry, everyone," he quickly muttered, mistaking the crowd's claps and cheers as enjoyment of his jokes, but paying no mind as he ran out after you, trying to catch up with you down the street.

You looked up at the stars, inhaling the cold air as you let your mind wander, thoughts swirling together in a semi-coherent mess. It was memories, of you and Cyno, doing everything together at the start of your relationship, and your recent fights. You were so caught up in your mind that you didn't even hear the male behind you, calling out your name.

"Y/N! Y/N!" Cyno called again, you turning to watch him run up to you, panting slightly as he stared at you, his eyes full of emotion. He took a moment for himself, before throwing himself towards you and wrapping his arms around you, hovering his mouth near your ear.

"I'm sorry," he began, his breath finally catching up with him. "We've been fighting more. I don't like that. It's just... With both exams, the holidays, and everything else going on, I feel like I'm losing out on time with you. And this is the part of year I want to spend with you the most. I want to be with you, making hot chocolate, baking cookies, even watching badly-made movies. As long as it means we're together. I just want to be with you, Y/N," he said, squezing you tighter, your hands resting on his back. You let his words process, before squeezing him back, and pulling away with a smile.

"Why didn't you just say that, Cyno? I know how you feel, really. I want to be with you too, but it felt like you were shutting me out. I'm sorry too," you said, watching his expression soften with a mixture of relief and joy on his face. You cupped his face, watching him press his cheeks into your cold hands eagerly. The sight warmed your heart so much, you swore you saw stars in your vision. Wait why are the stars moving. You looked up at the semi-cloudy sky, watching the specks of white fall.

"It's snowing," Cyno said, causing you to look back at him, a smile on your face. "First snowfall of the season, right?" You asked, watching him smile and feeling his hands on your waist. "Yes, and first kiss under the snowfall of the season, too," he said, leaning in and pressing his lips against yours, feeling the cool from both his and your own melt away as you pressed back into him, wrapping your arms around his neck, before pulling back, smiling at him. "Let's go home, yeah?" You ask, grabbing his hand as he nodded, turning to walk back to his dorm room.

"You were at the open mic, right? What did you think of my jokes?"

"They were nice, honey."

"Really? Should I tell them again?"

"I think we should cuddle and watch a movie."

"Hm. That's fine too."

#nyx writes #gixrsecretsanta2022 #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #cyno x reader #cyno imagines #cyno scenarios

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blockgamepirate · 2 months

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I feel a little bit conflicted about the "always believe the victims" slogan

Obviously I understand the reasons it exists, because all too often victims aren't believed, but the thing that bothers me is that it kind of assumes that you'll always be able to magically know who the victim is

And to be clear, this isn't about Shubble, I fully believe Shubble, I have every reason to believe Shubble and she deserves all the support she gets

But I'm thinking about cases like Cellbit, where I think a lot of us did believe his ex, because you're supposed to always believe the victim right?

And what about all the people who constantly try to cancel trans women even right here on this website?

I've seen this happen to a friend of mine as well, although I don't want to get into the details of that case; I understand if you think I'm biased in favour of my friend but I do have good reasons to believe them over their accuser, including the fact that the accuser in question had all the financial power in that relationship all while taking advantage of my friend and only made the accusation after they could no longer exploit my friend for money; people still believed the accuser though, because they were very good at playing the role of a fragile little flower to their followers online, and so my friend had to both move to a different state and effectively nuke their entire online presence (not to mention that for years they even believed some of the accusations themself, and it took a long time for them to realise that they'd been gaslit into thinking they were the abusive one)

So it can be very dangerous to always believe every accusation, especially when there's a risk of ruining an innocent person's life (and it's one thing if it's a rich streamer, but my friend was not rich or even wealthy, and neither are most of the trans women on Tumblr or on other platforms for that matter)

I do still think that it's important to take people seriously when they come forward with these kinds of stories, absolutely. You should never dismiss anyone without careful consideration.

(And I mean I made a whole post earlier about how "innocent until proven guilty" can be misused to completely ignore accusations by misunderstanding what that phrase is intended for in the first place, which is to avoid convicting an innocent person (not that judicial systems are very good at employing it). Obviously I'm not here to say you have to get irrefutable proof for everything before believing it (although you should still get that irrefutable proof before punishing the culprit, that's the difference IMO))

But of course I also get that "take people seriously when they say they've been victimised" is not a very catchy slogan

idk, maybe someone will come up with a better one

And maybe one day we'll also figure out better ways to deal with these kinds of situations (who knows, one can always hope)

Maybe when we learn to deal with uncertainty in a constructive way. And hopefully also learn to let go of retributive justice

Anyway, either way: support victims, hold abusers accountable, just try not to fall for smear campaigns either

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cmyknoise · 1 year

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"Not entitled to URLs" I've never anyone say that before but you are right

i'm not the only one saying it but yeah.

like. i get it sucks, especially for cc's that have a "brand" right. like of course phil is gonna want the philza/ph1lza url

and anyone would. i would of course, but here's like, the thing right.

these cc's have known about tumblr for years. some have even voiced that they're 'scared' of it.

but twitter is going down a shitty road, and i don't blame them for wanting to jump ship

but now they want their usernames that they've built their brand around. and i get it, but here's the thing.

tumblr isn't like any other platform, and it is almost entirely fandom based

having "canon" urls of characters or fandoms or people is a commodity.

some people hoard urls (which is against tos to an extent, although tumblr does allow you to have some spares, if you have too many they can be taken from you if they've been unused. to my knowledge if you post on said accounts or use them in any way or switch between urls this tos doesnt usually apply, but some people do get terminated for having like 20+ urls saved)

but others genuinely will wait until they see a url deactivate or change and snatch it up

urls are traded around. fuck if i recall a few years back some bigger companies offered money to users to buy certain urls because they wanted them.

but like, these are rightfully obtained urls by fans. they've waited and snatched them up, it's been a race. i got ones like ghostburboo because i made it within a minute of ghostbur's last name being dropped. my best friend has a fundylive account. i know people who have canon urls, they're not impersonating cc's. they enjoy them or their content and post like normal, but those urls are apart of their tumblr space/identity.

and if a cc asked someone for a url and they said 'sure man here you go' then awesome! but they're not doing that, or they've not yet done anything like that. they just go straight to tumblr or they're vocally complaining on twitter about being unable to get urls they want.

i know for phil tumblr responded to him, and i hope to fucking *everything* he does not get those urls by tumblr taking them from someone. that's bullshit and i'm sorry like- i love phil but that's some bullshit. no one should be allowed to just say "hey tumblr i want my url" and tumblr can go "okay king!" and do it, when someone else got it first. thats how all websites work, if someone got that url first they get it. you cant throw a fit if you didnt catch the worm man.

tommy made up a funny url, sneegsnag did, so have others who've joined and couldnt get their classic usernames, why anyone feels entitled to these usernames is crazy to me.

because yeah you've built your brand around it, but you're entering into a fan space.

and these people have, on twitter, admitted to "i might not use this often lol" but they still want the urls, which is once again bullshit.

they're jumping ship from twitter for very good reason, but it's not fair to the users who have been here for years using their urls and usernames to be pressured or at risk of them being taken, especially if the cc isn't even going to be using tumblr all that much.

its tumblr and it's 2022. if you can't get some canon url you mix the letters up. why do you think i have an x in my name? chekhovsgun is taken and has been for ages, so i replaced the o with an x myspace style

use numbers, do something funny. i think tommy's is very funny (and he wasnt upset about not getting tommyinnit, he seemed more sad about not getting wifehaver) sneegsnag's is very funny

these ppl are entering in an enclosed terrarium and then wanting to take the sticks and leaves from bug houses to make their own house and like, bruh you can't just do that.

besides they're not even like, they have so many options. tumblr does custom domains, so they can still have their names they'd just have to get a custom domain for it instead of it being name.tumblr

they can straight up go onto twitter or twitch or youtube and say "hey chat my tumblr is minecraftblockman69 follow me there lmao"

and then there's proof! then people know "hey that's my streamer's tumblr" and the whole risk of impersonation doesnt even matter

like. i dunno man. its extremely upsetting to see people jump ship and want things they feel entitled to have because of their brand, disrespecting that this is a fandom space, when chances are they may not even post here or stay here long.

#discourse #mcyt #ask to tag #lemon answers

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lilietsblog · 6 months

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So I'm probably making myself a target for some nasty shit by doing this, but it's just bothering me a lot to scroll through tumblr in the middle of all this, so here it is: my understanding of the whole Gaza/Israel issue.

Based on tumblr's usual noise, but also on Ukrainian news sources, which I p much trust on this because... well, because of the specific things they say that check out, and also because Israel isn't actually supporting Ukraine in this war, and is apparently also trying to suck up to Russia (it's not working, Putin and Co are too antisemitic for that), so no reason for our news to suck up to them. (Especially the independent opposition bloggers I also follow)

Yes, Israel got itself into the whole mess via its own very special ill-thought-out policy. And they're basically stuck this way because of external and internal political reasons. Here's hope they manage to sort it out in a way that doesn't result in ever more deaths, misery and horror -_-

Yes, there was a violent terrorist attack by HAMAS that resulted in... at least several hundred deaths, including torture, rape etc of civilians, including visiting foreigners.

Yes, Gaza inhabitants are often aggressively antisemitic in a "want to kill them all" way. That's where HAMAS recruits its terrorists from.

Yes, again, it's predominantly the fault of the government of Israel and the decisions it's made. No, it's not the fault of each individual citizen of Israel, let alone every Jew, and it's not the fault of every single person who thinks Israel deserves to exist as an independent country, either.

No, Israel did not bomb the hospital. I have yet to see a single relevant photo on tumblr, but I did see relevant photos in Ukrainian sources, and they're of an explosion in the parking lot. The casualty numbers were grossly overexaggerated in the initial reports, and the actual cause for the explosion was a misfired rocket from HAMAS. There've been corrections from some sources, none from others, but overall I believe that the final version is that.

No, Palestinians are by and large not inhuman monsters who deliberately use their own children as human shields then blame Israel. There are, have been and will be a few fanatics who do do that though - even besides specific reports, I'd be very skeptical if someone told me apropos of nothing that after several decades of conflict there wasn't a SINGLE person who was that far gone. It's just how human variance works. I mean, I'd buy it if someone said that a Ukrainian did that, too - have you read Taras Bulba?

Yes, HAMAS absolutely does use Palestinian civilians (including children) as human shields. It's a terrorist organization that thinks they're in the right and the ends justify any and all means. Of course they would.

Yes, Israel is doing some fucked up shit with forcing civilian population to evacuate within 24 hours, shutting off water and gas, etc. I don't think they're enacting deliberate genocide and I do think they're at least trying to avoid casualties (see: telling them to evacuate instead of bombing as is, and shoutout to Russia for absolutely not doing that), but their solutions are still horrifying and lead to misery and deaths.

Pretty sure Egypt is not helping either, I trust the Ukrainian sources on that. Nothing to gain from lying, there.

The whole thing is resulting in an explosion of antisemitic AND islamophobic AND just overall racist violence all over the world, including riots BY the affected populations in response to it. Everyone is in the wrong, and everything sucks. I'll be blocking people for both sentiments should any make their way through tumblr savior, so fair warning here. Have an opinion based on the understanding of both sides as actual human people, or go fuck yourself with a rusty fork. Thanks.

So this one might be the most controversial, but: I think it'll be good for Israel to get US weapons. They don't need them against Gaza, they can handle Gaza. Those are against hostile neighbours that support HAMAS and are currently, right now, attacking the territory of Israel. I do not think they should get to do that, and I think Israel should continue to exist as a country. A country that could very much stand to improve its internal and external policies, but that the world is better off having than not anyway.

(I'm seriously biased in that last one, because weapons for Israel getting bundled with weapons for Ukraine is VERY VERY GOOD for us specifically, including for personally me in my personal interest of not getting personally blown up by a rocket from Russia. Very much biased here)

(And to be clear, I don't think this bias affects the news sources, because those news were posted before the bundle idea came up)

(And yes, I do think US military intervention / aid can be in the right and make the world a better place. Not because US is flawless, colonialism is good, etc, but - broken clock, twice a day, you know the drill. I think these are both the twice a day in question.)

#absolutely not tagging this

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ryker-writes · 8 months

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I saw your match-up event, and congratulations on 2.1K!!! You deserve the love, and I'm thrilled to see you're getting it! I'm sorry that I couldn't send this ask as @it-happened-one-fic, but Tumblr wouldn't let me.

I've never actually done a match-up before, though I have taken some match-up quizzes. I hope I did this right and gave you enough information!

I'm introverted by nature and can be rather shy (it's probably mild social anxiety, but that's okay). If it helps, my Myer-Briggs is INFP. I tend to say whatever is on my mind, which can lead to some odd comments (i.e. random fun facts) and a lot of people describe me as random.

Likes: It's hard to decide what to put here... I'm constantly listening to music, and I enjoy cooking, especially baking. I adore terrariums and have several mushroom-themed things (no, it's not because of Jade; I've always adored mushrooms and thought they were cute). I enjoy looking at art and researching random interests such as mythology, folklore, and even history. And finally, I'm interested in psychology, as evidenced by my chosen major.

Dislikes: I am terrified of snakes, and I genuinely cannot handle olives (it's one of the few foods I can't handle). I don't really care for crowds or loud noises (sensitive hearing). If I had to choose, I'd probably pick cold over hot.

Hobbies: I have quite a few hobbies, actually! (At least I do when college allows.) I embroider, do flower arrangements, play piano, write stuff, read (I love reading XD), color, and I do game a little (Genshin and twst are about it though).

Personality/Physical Preferences: I don't actually have very many physical preferences. I mean, their being attractive would be nice, but their personality is more important, so in terms of physical preferences, all I can really say is that I would like someone healthy. Personality-wise, I have stronger opinons XD. I would like someone who would make a good father. I would like to find someone who is reliable so that I don't have to handle everything. They don't have to do anything by any means either, but I do want some I can rely on in difficult moments. I would also like it if they were a little more on the perceptive side. I tend not to talk about my feelings very often, so someone who could notice when I'm down without me having to spell it out would be quite nice. Finally, and perhaps most condemningly, it is important that I find someone who is fairly tough. I can be incredibly blunt sometimes, and though I do not intend to hurt feelings, it can happen. Especially when there is something that needs to be pointed out to someone for their own good. As such, it would be for the best if I found someone who is on the tougher side and will realize that even though I may be harsh at times, I typically say such things out of love.

My Love Language(s): (I had to ask my mom and sister about this one because I honestly wasn't sure XD.) In terms of the love language I use (I guess my giving love language??), I'm a very physically affectionate person. I can hug someone for a very long period of time without tiring of it, and I am a cuddlebug. Furthermore, I can be held or do the holding (though I admit I do like a trade-off XD). As for receiving, it's a bit harder to say. However, if I had to make a guess as to what my preferred one is, I would say quality time. I think it's very important to spend time with those we love and care about, and it is only through quality time that you can really get to know a person.

That ended up rather long, but I hope that was enough information, and again, congratulations!!!!!

Ahhhh Happy late birthday again! And thank you so much!

"Welshoot my dear! I'm honored to be your first matchmaker! Not to worry, you gave me plenty to work with! I'm confident in my answer. Of course, I am a little bias since I know you personally, but I like to think that it works beyond my bias.

You may already know, but I'm talking about Jade!"

Listen I know I am biased in this for choosing Jade but he actually works very well with you! Like with your personality likes, preferences, and everything!

he absolutely loves your shy and introverted nature!

not gonna lie, he will probably tease you about it and he hopes that you don't take all his teasing in a negative way because he does it a lot

he also loves your randomness! He's not bothered by it at all (he deals with Floyd) and it's one of the big reasons he loves you

never knowing what you're going to say next is exciting for him!

ahem, TERRARIUM AND MUSHROOM GATHERING DATES

Jade is used to making terrariums and going out to look for mushrooms on his own, so you going with means so much to him

it's some of his favorite things to do with you

I literally cannot express with words how much he loves it

those terrariums he made with you are his favorite ones because it's something the two of you made together

Jade himself finds psychology and human minds fascinating so he'll happily listen to anything you have to say about it and store that information in his brain

he takes note of all your dislikes and take care to avoid them

you will never taste a dish with olives as long as he's around

your hobbies are so cool and pretty! Jade loves them and treasures anything you create

pls play piano for him he loves to hear it

Jade also checks off most of your preferances!

I'm just saying...Jade would be a great father but that's a story for another day

Reliable? Perceptive? Tough? Yup that's Jade

he's very observant especially when it comes to you, so you bet he can tell when you're feeling upset

he may not always directly ask you about it though

he'll probably try doing what he can to make things easier on you or figure out what is wrong on his own before asking

Jade has thick skin and can take whatever you say

as for love languages, Jade himself isn't very physically affectionate

but he's never going to turn your affection down!

he just doesn't initiate it most of the time

but he's got you covered when it comes to quality time

Jade loves to spend time with you and it's another reason why he loves making terrariums and searching for mushrooms so much

he just can't get enough time with you tbh

#ryker the matchmaker #twisted wonderland matchups #welshootttttttt

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umber-cinders · 6 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @pilesofpillows 😙

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Four works so far but hoping to add more since I have a lot more fics written I've never published.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Wow I didn't even know this was a thing! Had to look up how to find it. My total Ao3 word count is 182,483 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

My current works are for Black Panther but I plan to write a oneshot for MCU's Secret Invasion show because I liked Gravik and thought he was hot (I like the skrull in general lol). But I also have pretty long and large fics for Netflix's 2017 movie "Bright" that I want to upload as well. There are other fandoms too but they escape me atm.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I only have four fics up and one of them is brand new so 😅

Winter Moon

Mount Jabari

If The Shoe Fits

Incubus

In that order. You can find a link to my fics for both tumblr and Ao3 here

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely! I love talking to the people reading my stuff and want them to know that their comments are appreciated and often keep me motivated to write more 😁Love you guys! 💕

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm, I guess that would be If The Shoe Fits. There's a planned part two that might negate this answer though.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Mount Jabari 🤣Reader was very happy at the end of that fic.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I did on Winter Moon but I don't particularly care about the opinions of someone whose intentions are to be intentionally dismissive and negative so the comments the person received in return were likely not what they had wanted 💀

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Absolutely yes. Bring me the SMUT! Right now! I will write it for you if you don't.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nah, never did a crossover and not really a fan of them. However when I was still really young there was a gigantic, kind of OOC crossover fic with a bunch of popular anime from the 90s/2000s called Otherworld and I used to read that like it was the bible. It inspired me to do my own first fanfics. There were like 9 books to that story and multiple oneshots and short stories that tied the characters together and everything.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware... and anyone who tries it....

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not publicly, but I have gotten a comment that someone loves my story so much that they translate every chapter so that they could read it properly and it made me so happy 😭❤💕

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! But I do love giving other authors ideas and vice versa. I think it helps people think outside the box when they brainstorm with friends.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I'm going to say Attoye from Black Panther for now? I was never that big of a "shipping" person in fandoms but I definitely enjoy Attoye enough to say I ship them. I also like Nashuri and Killmora.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Nothing atm. I tend to work on stories in order of inspiration and importance. I don't publish things I'm not willing to commit time to at some point.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm not sure exactly. I've been told that I write very descriptively and that it can paint a vivid picture of scenarios and characters, so I'll go with that.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Fluff and filler. I don't dislike fluff completely but I tend to write it as realistically as possible because trying to imagine people being that super ooey gooey makes me wanna gag and cringe lmfao

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I do it only when necessary for the simple fact that having to provide translations for entire scenes of dialogue gets tiresome and tricky.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Inuyasha in middle school💀

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

It doesn't have a name but like I said above, it was definitely Inuyasha and or anime related.

No pressure tagging: @karisomk, @megamindsecretlair, @mamajankyy, @mickimomo and anyone else who see this and would like to participate!

#tumblr tag game #writer tag game

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ratstuckinamarble · 6 months

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<3 <3 <3

right, third time's the charm- You are someone I am very glad to have 'met' in whatever way the internet lets us.

Not because you're the first person I've ever exchanged drawings with like they were notes passed along on a rainy day, making silly little stories out of woodpeckers and lego toadstoods and trick or treat wishes- Not because I have those drawings printed out, woodpecker and otter hanging on my wall, the halloween ones added to my old lebkuchen box of decorations to be tacked up next year with all the rest- Not because the memory of looking at your art had me picking up pen and paper with a lightness that hasn't been there since I was a kid-

I just love seeing you around on here.

Blocks of tags with rambles- little stories and asides to soak up like a sponge or a plant, reminding me of this or that thought I've had myself- your passion for things, the breath of relief I let out reading something you wrote that says something I can't trust myself with.

The rhythm of your thoughts makes mine very happy, is what I mean. And that you share them- tossing small paper planes of your life out into the world- honest silliness, maybe? It takes bravery and kindness to do it, I think. Even when something upsets you or makes you sad, I'm grateful to see it- these things you care about enough to be hurt by, and to talk about.

From you, I won't argue about how good of a person I am. I'm smiling at the thought that you would think that of me, and I'll makes myself send this little ask to try to tell you back-

thank you for being you.

If tumblr crashes tomorrow and I never hear about you again, I'll always be grateful it lasted this long. I'll remember the rat stuck in a marble, with a skull for it's emblem, hoping you got to do some pottery, snuggled your cat, and had a little hot chocolate, as a treat~

I- I'm at a loss for words...

And crying. Oh words collect yourself into a proper order-

People have said kind things about me before, and it's always brought me joy- but nothing like this. You've cut right into my soul, found things I didn't even know would get to me like this if I heard them.

I want to comment more but re-reading what you said is almost painful, because I was not prepared to take in such words today, or ever. It hurts in the same way as thinking about the beauty in life for too long. I don't know if you understand what I mean- but strong joy, getting overwhelmed with feelings that are good

It's like my little body can't handle it, experiencing things it was not made for. This feeling is bleeding out of me, and I can't even name it. It's not joy. It's... Something better. The knowledge that someone I care for deeply could be made happier thanks to me, my words, my ramblings, my silliness, my art, even the serious and vulnerable moments. Everything. It's like you saw my entire self and said yeah... there's nothing I'd leave out. Oh gosh I'm crying again.

I didn't know you did actually print those drawings out. I've been wondering. I'm so very glad. Bringing you some joy with them is all I wanted. And that someone could appreciate my art this much- especially you. It's like something out of a dream. I didn't know life had such luck in store for me. That I could make art come more easily to someone else again. And you know I love your art. Every time you post something I scramble to get that across, after all. Clunky and anything but concise.

Often I fear that I may be doing too much, coming on too strong, saying so much where others would keep it short. But I've had my years of silence born of paranoia, and I got sick of it. So sick. The reason I started blogging is exactly that, a form of self imposed exposure therapy, I suppose. Every time I'd be afraid to share something, I reminded myself- that's exactly why you should do it. Even if your heart is beating so fast it makes you lightheaded. Which happens rarely now, because this worked, somehow.

And I find myself thinking of a different string of time- where I didn't. Where I let the fear win. Where I never met you and some other lovely people, where all these exchanges we've had, the art and the words and photos of little rocks and tote bags and comics of them running away- never happened. These things that fuel me even when things seem dim. You light something up in me that was previously difficult to cling to- an occasional burst of this spark. Now it is like a little star that has snuggled its way deeply into my heart, refusing to leave.

The rhythm of your thoughts make mine very happy too. I never feel like I have to adjust my thinking with you, because I know you'll understand. Your mind is just as wonderfully strange. I know no one else who creates hand snails and runaway totebags and the most perfect crest imaginable. Making art for you is so fun, because I feel like whatever I choose to depict, you'll get it.

What I want most in life is to be a good person. To bring people joy. Knowing I succeeded is more than I could ever hope for. Am I making sense? Why are you so easy to let into my heart? Why does letting you influence my creations, my way of thinking, my way of loving the world feel so right?

You bring out the best in me.

And that you think sharing what I do takes bravery- well I suppose you're right. I never thought anyone would realise. Would understand. But that it takes kindness? I never thought of it that way. I didn't think anyone would look at what I say and think, "how kind of you, that you chose to share this". I never thought that would be possible. I've had people tell me how happy my tags made them, a few times. That's what fueled me. I thought, if some have said it, then more must have thought it. And I want to keep spreading that joy. What I'm trying to say is you've reassured me in things I didn't dare hope for.

And that even my occasional admission of pain could be seen as good. That you would see me as good.

You're the reason you know. The reason I talk so much on here. I didn't use to do that. I think about the moment that made me follow you, I remember it clearly. I think about all that led to knowing you at all.

Thank you for sharing. I will come back to this, whenever I need a reminder that, well. That I did something right.

I'm glad you won't argue what I said. You couldn't change my mind anyways, on you being a good person. I am so very grateful to have you in my life. I find it hard to tell what people think of me. Thank you for the reassurance, your own bravery, and your beautiful words. They're like poetry.

If Tumblr crashed tomorrow, and I never heard of you again, I would be heartbroken. Truly and fully. But I would be grateful, as I already am. For the time you were a part of my life.

But this shall not happen. We haven't reblogged those snails yet, as we promised, and even after that. I don't want to imagine.

I'll do pottery some day. I'm snuggling my cat as I type, and I'll make myself a hot chocolate, in my dancing skeleton mug. And every day, I'll keep being reminded of you, and how you're everywhere now. In every little thing I've shared, that you got excited about. You're a part of that clay hand now, my spooky dishware, my lego frog, my tote bags, my rocks, my memories. I take a moment to take in nature and I'm reminded of your description of the light falling through your window, the spot you left just to appreciate it. I see a sword, a snail, a drawing of a werewolf, and you're always there.

When you let people take up your time, you let them take permanent residence in your heart. And with you, I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you for being here, for being you, and for bringing a peace to my soul I didn't know it needed.

Thank you.

#this is so very long #and yet there is more I could say #once again I am anything but concise #but it's all I can be #I can't risk not getting my point across #do you understand #what you've done to my heart #and that I wouldn't trade it for anything #I love who I am with you #and you mean so much to me #being vulnerable is horrifying #but I think I can risk it #rätposting #ask by:#a-dauntless-daffodil #a url I hope to see for a long time to come

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