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intercoursefluids · 3 years

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The Impromptu Sleepover Part 1

“Alright! The adults are asleep what do you guys want to do?”

Alya being Alya, decided to take over the sleepover to celebrate Marinette’s friends finally realizing (or in most cases finally speaking up) about Lila’s lies.

“Swordfight!”

“Movie Marathon!”

“Let’s play truth or dare!”

Different ideas all resound from the girls currently huddled in Marinette’s room, all the boys trying to pretend they didn’t exist.

Only nine people were there, Adrien had wanted to come to the sleepover, but his dad wouldn’t let him.

These 10 were the only ones from her class to come back to her and apologize once they realized who the real victim was.

Marinette almost couldn’t believe her eyes when Alix, Alya, Kagami, Chloe, Nino, Kim, Max, Nathaniel, and Marc came up to her asking for her back.

The only ones who had actually believed Lila’s lies were Alya, Max, and Nathaniel but the others still apologized for not speaking out for her.

This group apology and cry session that immediately followed ended up with them holding a sleepover to celebrate their reconnection.

One thing Marinette forgot about though. Was the fact that Chat Noir would come to hang out with her on Fridays.

Which is why, when pebbles started hitting her window. She damn near had a heart attack when everyone else noticed immediately stopping their conversations.

“Mari, Love, Darling dearest. Who, might I ask, is throwing pebbles at your window?”

Every single one of her friends look at her with shit-eating grins as Kim blinks up innocently at her like he didn't just confirm for everyone there was in fact someone outside throwing a rock at her window.

Persistently.

With a deep sigh, Marinette grabs a lightsaber and spray bottle from the back of her closet.

"Alya, I am giving you permission to film this. I am NOT, however, to post this to any social media, and no one except for those in this room are to ever see the footage unless I give explicit permission otherwise. Understand?"

Alya nods frantically pulling out her phone as she and Marinette climb up to the balcony.

"Oh, Romeo Oh Romeo. Where art tho Romeo?"

Chat Noirs sarcastic call sounds from below with a bouquet of Alstroemeria, Amaryllis, and Blue Irises.

Alya hides behind the railing, just out of Chat Noir's sight as she films the interaction.

With a deep sigh, Marinette turns to Chat with regret and sorrow written all across her face, making Chat pause.

"Princess? What's the matter-"

"I'm sorry Chat Noir. But it's over."

The stricken look on his face almost makes Marinette feel sorry for him.

Almost.

"I don't understand? Did I do something wrong?"

With another deep sigh, Marinette runs a hand over her face.

"It's over Chat."

Faking tears, Marinette ever so slowly pulls the lightsaber from behind her back turning it on making the red illuminate half her face.

"I have the high ground."

Marinette sniffles for good measure as Alya finally catches on. Turning her phone back to Chat to see him looking like he was about to cry before it finally clicks.

His face goes blank as he stares up at one of his best friends.

"I hate you so much."

Marinette cackles as he pulls out his baton, stretching up to her balcony to be face to face with her.

"I can't believe that guy calls you 'Angel'. Your halo hides your horns too well and- Ladyblogger? What are you doi- Eep!"

He cuts off abruptly as Marinette squirts him in the face with the spray bottle making him reel back with a yowl.

In his haste to get away, he knocks himself off balance starting to fall over backward until Marinette grabs his bell yanking him forward.

"Okay, that is it! I'm going home and I'm telling Ladybug you're picking on me."

Marinette wheezes, trying to get her breath back and just giving up. Climbing down her skylight to collapse in a pile of giggles.

Chat and Alya both follow her down. Alya pushing her off her bed so Kim has to catch her before she hits the floor.

"Please Alya. PLEASE, tell me you got his reaction on film."

Alya smirks showing the video currently saving to her phone.

"Of course I did. Now we have a new guest here now assuming that Chat wants to stay for the sleepover."

Chat's eyes widen, looking every part the excited kitten.

"Can I?! I've never been to a sleepover before!"

All of the girls gasp in horror, surrounding Chat as they search through drawers and Marinette's closet.

Marinette, always one step ahead, runs to chat.

"Go in the bathroom, detransform put these on, and come back out. I'm assuming your Kwami eats camembert cheese since you constantly smell like it. I swear no one here is going to find out your identity or even try if they don't want me to put them on blast with all of the dirt I have on them. Now go!"

Chat is shoved into the bathroom, the door slamming shut behind him. Doing as he is told in fear of Marinette, Chat detransforms catching Plagg as he cackles in the air.

"Oh, I like her! She'd make a great kitten, with how easy it is for her to cause chaos, just how I like it!."

Shaking his head at his cackling Kwami as he got dressed. Putting the mask Marinette made him on trying it securely around his head. Stepping out to find Marinette coming back with a LARGE tray of food and everyone else huddled around Alya's phone.

Chat can't help the startled yelp he lets out when Alix pulls him down to her, gently petting his hair as she glares at Marinette.

"You're a monster Marinette. How could you do that to him?! Look at his face! His little baby face! He looked heartbroken!"

Marinette snorts at the playful scolding.

"Let him go, Alix. Go find your own stray."

Alix snorts as Marinette pulls a blushing Chat to her hugging him close. Marinette sits down dragging him with her as he buries his face in her hair. Too embarrassed to speak.

He doesn't have a babyface. Does he?

"Awe come on Mari, you found the cutest one the least you could do is share him!"

Everyone laughs as Kim makes a grab for Chat just for Marinette to pull him closer to her.

"Noooooo, this is MY alley cat! Go find your own!"

Chat Noir would never admit how hard he had to fight down his purr when Marinette started petting his hair.

You know. Before he lost that battle and a purr sounded loudly through his chest.

"Please stop. It's not fair and you're embarrassing me. Mariiiiii! Stooooooop."

Everyone laughs when Chat complains for Marinette to stop, even as he starts to melt into a puddle on her lap.

"One of these days I'm going to tell M'lady on you and she's gonna dangle you from the Eiffel Tower."

Now, under normal circumstances, everyone would be worried, but it's hard to be serious when one of Paris's superheroes is melted in a puddle in your friend's lap with a purr so loud it's hard to understand him.

"I'm pretty sure Ladybug would dangle YOU from the Eiffel Tower for being in a girls room this late, without letting her parents know. Even more, so that you detransformed in front of us. Still want to tell Ladybug on Marinette?"

Everyone turns to Marc, Nathaniel's adorable spouse as they radiate badassery.

Chat's purr stutters before starting up just as loudly again.

"I will no longer be telling M'lady."

Marinette snorts leaning back on her chaise as Chat adjusts himself so he's laying between her legs with his head on her stomach. Facing the rest of the class as Marinette plays with his hair.

"Are you guys dating?"

"Of course they are Cesaire. Ridiculous-!"

"Utterly ridiculous!" "Ew! No!"

Are the two different responses that cut Chloe off. The group finishing Chloe's catchphrase as Marinette and Chat Noir look at the rest of the class in disgust.

"Okay, first of all. Chat what the HELL do you mean 'ew'? Marinette is a babe, and everyone in this room has had a crush on her at least once before. How dare you say 'ew' like you would never date her you would be incredibly lucky if she even considered you."

Alya states with a finger in Chat's face.

Alix, Alya, Kagami, Chloe, Max, Kim, Nathaniel, Marc, and Nino all looking incredibly offended for Marinette even as she blushes and tries to hide her face.

"Guys, stop! And what do you mean all of you? Half of you are dating each other!"

Chat snickers at her distress, pulling out his burner phone and snapping a picture of her face.

"Okay, there may or may not be a literal 'Queen Marinette Club" or 'QMC' for short. We even have several social media accounts dedicated to giving you the credit you deserve. Before you ask this started that one time we went to Gotham and you answered all of the Riddler's riddles and yelled at Nightwing and Robin for their poor fashion choices and called Batman a furry when he tried to stop you."

Surprisingly Nathaniel is the one who answers instead of Alya as she pulls out her phone.

"We didn't even start the club! It was some people in Gotham who did. Max is the one who found out about it."

Sweet Marc, sweet sweet Marc never knowing when to stop before Marinette popped a blood vessel from blushing so hard.

"Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Cat Woman, The Riddler, the entire Batfamily (Batman included), and even some of the Waynes follow the accounts. Not to mention the other celebrities you've befriended like Mr. Stone and Ms. Nightingale."

Max reads off of his phone, seemingly proud of Marinette's followers.

"Even my mom follows you, Mari. That says something."

Chat looks up cackling as Marinette tries to suffocate herself with a pillow, Plagg rolling around on her hair as he clutches his stomach.

"Dang! Pigtails has some, what's it called? Clout! You're famous, kitten!"

Marinette whimpers from behind the pillow, her face practically radiating heat.

Chat snorts before turning back to the group.

"Number one I am well aware that Marinette is awesome and that I would be the luckiest man in the world to have her as my girlfriend. However, she's basically my little sister, same as Ladybug. Sorry to burst your bubble, Alya. Number two, she already has a boyfriend, has for a little over a year now, and he scares me. I am not testing if I really have nine lives cause he would take all of them. Number three, can you show me the 'QMC' accounts I want to follow them."

The room is silent as Marinette glares at Chat.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that? Princess? It's not like this is new informa-! They didn't know did they?"

Marinette reaches under her, pulling out a very nice-looking dagger from under the cushions of her chaise.

"Say goodbye to eight of your lives Chat. I need a new black fur hat."

Chat yelps scampering away from Marinette on all fours as she lunges for him with Plagg chasing after them laughing.

They keep running around the room until they pass Kim and he reaches out and grabs Marinette, trapping her in his arms.

"Okay, nice knife. Not sure where you got it nor do I want to know. Second of all, what's this about a boyfriend?"

Everyone surrounds her as Alix pulls the dagger from her hands putting it back under the cushions.

"Why haven't we heard of any boyfriend? Are you out of your mind?"

Alya's calm tone is very misleading as Chat hides behind her.

"He didn't want anyone to know just in case people claim for me to be a gold digger. Scratch that, I didn't want anyone to know so he didn't get sued for assault if anyone called me a gold digger and he found out."

Chat snorts.

"Yeah, you, definitely a gold digger. You know, since you didn't even realize who he was for the first 5 or 6 months of your relationship."

Marinette's glare does nothing as a blush covers her face.

"We don't speak of it Chat. I can and will still skin you."

Everyone looks at Marinette in shock.

"Okay, so all we know is that they are a he. He is rich enough to make people assume Marinette, Marinette of all people, is a gold digger and they are in a secret relationship. Who is it?"

Max looks up from his phone, where he is no doubt taking notes.

Marinette looks at the ground mumbling something that no one but Chat can make out thanks to his super hearing. He laughs and walks over to her phone unlocking it as Marinette finally answers.

"Damian Wayne."

Everyone looks at Marinette in a mix of shock and confusion before Chloe bursts out laughing.

"Only you Marinette. Only you would get over your crush on a millionaire heir to fall for a literal billionaire heir without even realizing it."

She breaks off into hysterical laughter as everyone turns to chat who is now on Marinette's computer connected to her phone as a facetime call takes place.

It answers on the second ring to someone who is most definitely NOT Damian Wayne.

"Hey Pixie Pop! Sorry, but I had to steal the phone from demon spawn. He was trying to kill me and Dick with a spoon and lunged for his phone as soon as it started ringing. Me and Dick were closer so we grabbed it and are now trying to find somewhere to hide so he doesn't actually kill us. Dick wanna say 'Hi'?"

Everyone hears a shout of 'sure' from someone out of the frame before the phone is passed over to someone who looks much like the first, except they are older and have no white streak in their hair.

"Hey, nettie! How's school?"

Chat smirks, covering Marinette's mouth as she tries to reply. A door slams shut as the two guys hunker in the near darkness, a lock clicking into place.

"School is great thanks for asking. Could be better but we are all getting by."

Two faces appear on screen looking a mix between worried and angry.

"I swear to god if you are holding Pixie Pop for ransom you will have the rage of all of Gotham fall upon you."

Chat just looks confused before remembering that he's wearing a mask and is holding Marinette's mouth shut.

"Oh! No, I'm not holding her hostage, we're friends. Chat Noir, Parisian superhero at your service. I just wanted to prank her boyfriend, she's having a sleepover and I was invited."

Their expressions immediately relax.

"Oh good. I was worried about what would happen when everyone else found out. Especially Damian."

Both boys shudder and smile as everyone else in the room comes into the frame.

One of them opens their mouth to speak before a loud bang comes from the door. Two equal looks of fear take over their faces.

A second later a loud bang fills the air as the door basically explodes open, high-pitched screams of terror fill the air before all is silent a new face filling to screen.

"Sorry Habibti, my brothers are imbeciles with death wishes. What do you need?"

"Wow, Habibti? I didn't know you felt that way about me Damian, or should I give you a pet name too?"

Chat's grin SCREAMS mischief, as Damian looks down an ice-cold glare in place.

"Let go of my girlfriend before I fly down there and skin you alive regardless of her wishes."

Everyone shivers at the pure venom in Damian's voice as Chat lets go holding his hands up in the air as he grins.

"Sorry, sorry. Letting go."

Marinette and Damian both glare at him before turning to each other, both looks immediately softening.

"Sorry, Shaytan. I'm having a sleepover and Chat outed our relationship and decided it would be funny to call you."

His smile is so gentle it shocks the rest of Marinette's friends.

"Don't worry, it's not your fault the Cat is a moron. I miss you. When do you think you can come back?"

Both of them choose to ignore Chats highly offended 'Hey!' as well as everyone else in the room with Marinette.

"That depends on when you want me there and when I can catch a flight."

Damian sits down at a table pulling a laptop to him as he sets up his phone so she can still see him.

"Well I want you here now, and I can have you a flight soon enough if I ask Father to get the family jet ready. If I work fast I can have you here by tomorrow morning, if not sooner."

Marinette looks shocked.

"You can't just ask your Father to get a plane ready just for me Damian!"

He glances back at the phone before going back to his computer.

"Why not? Everyone here loves you and if you're worried about the cost of it I can assure you a single minute of your time is worth far more than a measly plane ride."

Kim and Alya make cooing noises at the two from the sweetness of it all as Kagami steps up wrapping her arms protectively around her.

"Before you make any more trip plans you are going to tell me what you plan to do with Marinette in the future. I will not allow her to be some temporary girlfriend if you aren't serious about her."

Damian turns back to the phone looking past Marinette to acknowledge the others for the first time since the call started.

"I can assure you I don't want Marinette to be temporary. I plan to marry her and I truly couldn't care less if any of you have a problem with it."

Marinette's face invents a new shade of red as everyone coos over how cute that is. After getting over their initial shock of course.

"Habibti, do you want them to be able to come with you next time you come over? I can have father speak to their parents if they don't agree right away."

"Are you sure that would be okay?"

Marinette's timid voice makes Damian look away from his computer.

"Why wouldn't it be? If you don't want them to come with you then they don't have to, I know that you have some trouble with a few of your classmates. Seeing how late it is there I would have thought these were the ones who didn't turn on you or came back once they realized how idiotic they were to leave in the first place."

"Rude, but true."

Damian chooses to ignore Alya.

"No I would like for them to come, it could be fun! I'm just worried about space and where everyone would sleep."

Damian snorts.

"You have nothing to worry about, if you don't want them to stay in a hotel they can stay with us in the manor, there's plenty of space. And if there isn't enough space you can just sleep with me in my room."

He finishes off with a cheeky grin as Marinette sputters.

"You can't just say stuff like that Damian! It was bad enough that you said you planned to marry me, you don't need to add sharing a bed to the pile!"

Damian has the audacity to look confused.

"What do you mean? I never hid my plans to marry you nor my feelings, I don't get what the big deal is about sharing a bed anyway. It's not like Alfred would let us do anything and we wouldn't even have the chance with the circus monkeys I call brothers."

Several offended voices with 'I heard that!' 'Excuse me?' and 'You love us and you know it!'s all sound from his end.

Alix and Kim are basically collapsed onto each other as they wheeze at his bluntness.

Marinette sighs resting her head on her hands with a 'why do I even bother?' before looking up again.

"Fine, how is next weekend for everyone. I know Adrien will want to be included and I don't think he has anything going then. It will give me enough time to convince everyone's parents if need be and pack."

Everyone agrees and they end the call. Damian and Marinette saying their respective I love yous and Goodnight/Good mornings.

"I'm going to duel him."

"Kagami NO!"

Kagami looks Marinette dead in the eyes before smiling.

"Kagami yes."

#maridami #daminette #marinette x batfam #dc x mlb #Fluff interactions

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aximili · 4 years

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X, Q, E

oooo i didn’t think i had any ocs starting with x but i remembered one from ages ago actually..... i had a story called After Life abt a kid trying to redeem his soul after he gets sent to hell, it was a bit all over the place tho and i scrapped it. although recently saw there’s a netflix show of the same name w ricky gervais and still managed to be annoyed

Full Name: Xanthe (if she had a surname it’s gone from my memory omg)

Nicknames, If Any: Xan

Hogwarts House: slytherin

Gender: female

Sexuality: bi

A Song I Associate With Them: hmmmm.... That Man by caro emerald

3 Important Relationships: WELL i only remember 2 other characters she knew, tbh this world was never well-developed

-ransom, he’s her very officious & stuffy angel rival who she ends up having a weird hate-fling with

-there was the main kid whose guardian demon she is (oh yea she’s like a guardian angel but the opposite. encourages u to be bad.) but for the life of me i don’t remember his name lol. once i had developed RanXan as concepts i got distracted by their s*xy little rivalry. yes it’s all terminally het, i was like 14

2 Fears: she’s been (well, not alive, but around) for a long time so she’snot scared of much. she’s a very cocky person and embraces being the bad influence, especially to annoy ransom, bc on the surface she’s like, well this whole heaven/hell divide is bullshit, people aren’t just one thing. but i think deep down she’s afraid of the idea that she really is bad. and afraid of what happens once she fades into irrelevance in hell and stops getting assignments but still has to carry on existing

1 Element of their backstory: i think she was alive way back in Biblical Times - obv she wasn’t called xanthe then but chose her own name. she was a serial liar and said that god was talking to her in order to get things she wanted. but she died young, like everyone did

Q - oo i DO have one Q oc! he’s from adrift, my pirate novel that i will one day finish

Full Name: Queryn Smousk

Nicknames, If Any: idk if anyone calls him a nickname. they mostly just don’t refer to him.

Hogwarts House: hufflepuff

Gender: male ? hm

Sexuality: gay

A Song I Associate With Them: bottom of the river by delta rae

3 Important Relationships:

-rictor avis: queryn is a generic sailor on the pirate ship, rictor is the surgeon/carpenter for the crew, he’s a huge tall crow man, and is equally or perhaps more creepy than queryn. they hang around together and give everyone weird vibes. rictor is mute & queryn isn’t, but he says very little out of choice (he doesn’t speak the main language, idk common or whatever, very well) but they like to sit in the crows nest together in silence most hours of the day when theyre not working. everyone even their crewmates thinks they might be up to some weird shit. their dark secret? theyre just a cute couple.... they just like to hang out. they bonded with quiet, intense looks when queryn was first rescued dying in the swamp and brought on board and rictor mended his wounds. it was tender. absolutely nobody else knows theyre a couple even tho they don’t keep it a secret. theyre just chill

-garran korrash: garran is the bosun and is a literal/figurative grizzly old bear, and as well as being queryn’s manager he’s one of the only people who he’s really chill with. garran was the one who insisted they stop n help him out, and queryn’s been grateful ever since. he doesn’t say it bc he hardly says anything, but he shows it in hard work

-sonya perlace: like almost all of her crew, queryn would die for captain sonya. he comes from a pretty harsh society where the strong survive, and even tho he never quite fit in there, he really respects sonya’s strength & leadership.

2 Fears: even tho he’s a pirate his biggest fear is drowning since he nearly drowned before. he has a lot of nightmares about it. he’s also creeped out by elliot. cause what the fuck even IS that?

1 Element of their backstory: p much the only backstory he has is that he was part of this society of amphibian/lizard people in the deep swampy area of the continent that’s cut off from the rest. he was out hunting but got badly gored by a huge aninal (idk what, like a Bigger Lizard.. theres always a bigger lizard) and couldnt make it home. he started sinking into the bog but couldn’t pull himself free, then the area began to flood with torrential rainwater and he cried for help. luckily sonya & garran happened to be trekkin through the jungle and heard him

E - has to be elliot, the little bastard supreme. i played him as a dnd character with an altered backstory but i’ll use the adrift version

Full Name: elliot (no known surname)

Nicknames, If Any: nope

Hogwarts House: slytherin

Gender: male

Sexuality: probably bi? he only a teen though and being surrounded by furries hasn’t had much chance to develop any feelings on the matter

A Song I Associate With Them: mariner’s revenge song by the decemberists

3 Important Relationships:

lol 2 of the 3 are fully hatred relationships because this young man has iiiiisssuuuuuues

-sonya perlace: he acts the begrudging deckhand who’s resigned himself to his life, but he is 100% devoted to eventually killing her. she killed his mama and he has been waiting for his moment ever since, he’s even had opportunities to leave the crew but has stayed so he can keep close to her. it’s fully like, would have a picture of her with daggers & darts in it, if he had such resources

-niphea perlace: niph is the captain’s daughter, the first mate, and the reason elliot’s still alive - she persuaded sonya not to throw him off the ship along with his mum. he has understandably mixed feelings abt this, and he rarely shows it, but she’s always been an advocate for him and treated him fairly so he does like niph more than anyone, despite himself. also she’s his closest in age on a ship full of adults. he.... tries not to think abt the fact he plans on killing her mother in return cause that’s a bit awkward isnt it

-aidan moss: quartermaster aidan doesn’t like things he doesn’t understand, and he doesn’t understand what elliot is, so he goes out of his way to be awful to him, tending to delegate his own jobs to elliot at every chance he can get & generally insulting him. elliot tolerates it bc he has to. but make no mistake this dude is no2 on the kill list

2 Fears: i don’t think he has a lot of fears because he’s already been through some of the worst things imaginable. i don’t even think he precisely fears drowning/dying at sea, because he’s been focused on the image of how his mother died for so long, & imagining doing the same to sonya, that it kinda no longer affects him? but he also saw his dad die over a long period from wound infection and i think that must have made a traumatic impression on him, so i imagine he’s probably at least repulsed by decay/rot

1 Element of their backstory: so elliot is the only human character in a world of animals basically... i mean this is major novel spoilers but when tf am i ever gonna finish that. he comes from a very remote island of remaining humans, descendants of the few who survived nuclear disaster a long time ago. when he was small he and his parents were exiled from the island for breaking its rules (yea, as tends to happen w small isolated communities, things got over the top cult-y) and sent out in a tiny boat to fend for themselves. his dad died slowly while they drifted in the ocean, and he and his mum were near death when they were picked up by sonya’s crew, who were like what the fuck are those??? they kept them in the hold to discuss what to do w them, but elliot’s mum, thalia, tried to break free, attacking niph when she came with food. as punishment sonya made her walk the plank, and that’s where it all went wrong yknow. woops this isn’t 1 element is it. oh well

#long post #ocs #thank u!! i didnt mean for this to be so long lmao...

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t-underneaththeradardancing · 5 years

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happy monday - its still morning - the moon is from caturday which follow frog friday - most of this makes no sense if u not on tumblr and even then its etchy sketchy

not really woke if ever but been up once briefly to feed the kitty - she a good one and set times and alarms wuz my idea - a good one at time - gave her a sense of security - then bed back and sleep another couple hours

an awkward angle - to takez a foto and u wouldnt know its a crescent or even the moon for that matter maybe - i knew that tho - before taking foto - izzzit al’s insanity over and again but then again - i likez lookin at it later re feel the feelz and fills and a paradiddle even - the contrast w sunshine thru fog and birdsong

cuz yah - its morning t - time to start the day and get fuck all done - dont 4get walnuts the crows r hungry - in pairs again mostly - the fledgeling fly the other day a gift a preview - a reminder maybe

the grace of another

day

(no ffs im not dying well i mean we all are nobody lives forever i dont wanna do forever inna body - maybe another coffee b4 we get into metaphysics and the astral plain - wuz just about to mansplain )

out back w kitty - we birdsong together her tummy - petted is so furry - we merrow together and crow call an i try and whistle and we praise did i forgetz the litany - and mention petting and oh my yes we play furious kill of faux prey

i feel like im forget something - so many futures - pending possible - i kinda like the ones where we all alive and playing music - writing - singing - dancing - painting - flying ...and yah there b some crashing burning cuz we built like that - and yah some tears and crying cuz no matter or anti - shit happen and it just b like that no regard of good intentions - sometimes

i need a 1st breakfast stat then morning nap maybe before running up that hill and deal making omfg the way she sing the word angel melts my insides - ouch a memory - still - would do it again prolly - knowing the outcome

laterz

love

#poetry i guess #there r sum poetic like things #therz a foto

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wetalkinboutbooks · 5 years

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The Bird King by G. Willow Wilson

Summary

The Bird King is a 2019 fantasy novel set in 1491, the novel takes place in the Emirate of Granada during the territory’s final days. The story concerns the flight of Fatima and Hassan, a concubine and mapmaker, respectively, from service to the Emirate’s last sultan. (Taken from Wikipedia)

We follow Fatima and Hassan on their search for the Bird King as they avoid soldiers of the Spanish inquisition, and meet a variety of characters along the way.

Our Ratings:

→ Geena: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

→ Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Overall: The Bird King is an amazing book that manages to be complex yet light-hearted. It touches on subjects like faith, love, and friendship. The characters are engaging (and absolute drama queens) and the plot is fast-paced so there’s never a dull moment. The dynamic between the characters leads to the funniest situations that will have you dying. In summary, reasons to read this book if you haven’t already:

A- ONE SUPER FUNNY BOOK PLZ READ IT

B - THE DRAMAAA OF FATIMA AND HASAAN

C - Vikram

D - Stupid

~ Spoiler-full discussion below ~

The Good:

→ Hassan and Fatima’s Relationship

Geena: The best thing about the bird king (aside from the horse named Stupid) was Hassan and Fatima’s friendship. IMO it was so wholesome and they were so in love (PLATONICALLY!!!!). When Hassan said seeing Fatima walking around was like seeing his heart outside his body…… a BITCH DIED!!! Also, the fact they would take shots at each other constantly? Loved it. HOW COULD I FORGET… HASSAN CONSTANTLY BEING HORNY AND FATIMA BEING LIKE “CAN U CHILL!”

Kae: OKAY MOOD LMAOOO. So boom. Geena covered it. We love this book! Hassan and Fatima are the definition of the 💯 emoji. But these bestie-bitches are DRAMATIC af. I’ve never seen two best friends who love each other as much as they do. They’re hugging and crying one moment, then the next they’re jealous that one of them is talking to someone else. DRAMATIC. I love it. Have we talked about Gwenny and Stupid yet?

Geena: WE HAVEN’T TALKED ABOUT THEM, the perfect accessories to the Hassan-Fatima duo. Gwen is the token white boi, there for Hassan to thirst over and Fatima to learn how to sail a ship. Stupid on the other hand…. God bless that horse all it did was drown and then LIVE!!!! The absolute legend. BUT Kae HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE GWEN AND STUPID? HMMM

Gwen: I only love God

Also Gwen: *sleeps with Fatima on the deck of the ship while Hassan is 3 feet away*

Kae: Well... Gwennec. Ol’ Gwenny Gwen Gwen. Gwen, the Monk who FUCKS. PAHAAHA. Gwen was a new Monk who was at first, totally against helping our favorite bestie-bitches. But Fatima was all “Don’t test me white boi I will kick ya ass.” And Gwen lowkey thought it was hot so he let them slide. He taught Fatima and Hassan how to sail while Hassan made googly eyes at him and definitely wanted to tap that. But, as previously stated, Fatima and Gwen got it ooonnn. Hassan found out and as like “Fa, I can’t believe you slept with my husband who doesn’t know we’re married yet!”, and that was basically that.. Then we have Stupid. The horse who was just as damn stupid as his name. The horse lived to spite the Grim Reaper just to prove it would breathe another day. We also haven’t mentioned our Jinn friend and their literal lifesaver/guardian angel, Vikram.

Geena: VIKRAM, aka another dude/djinn/dog man that Hassan wanted to fuck but couldn’t :( Vikram was essentially the only one in the group that had a substantial amount of brain cells, and spent most of the time trying to make sure Fatima didn’t accidentally kill herself. The fact that he saw his death and it was in the arms of a “beautiful woman” should sum up his character really well.

Kae: Geena is sooo right. Vikram was the only one with brain cells because Fatima and Hassan both shared two. Our loveable, dramatic, but also a little dimwitted faves wouldn’t have survived any of their adventure without Vikram. He lead them through a Jinn filled tunnel that Hassan made. Escorted them across the land with the Inquisition right on their asses, and fought off whoever tried to hurt them. Initially, he agreed to save them because of a debt he owed to Fatima’s Sultana. But in the end, Vikram helped them because he wanted to. He was a weirddog/man/Jinn who just wanted Fatima and Hassan to stop being dumbasses for five seconds. But they couldn’t so he was constantly annoyed and probs wanted to eat them to shut them up. BUT WE STAN THAT FURRY LEGEND BECAUSE WITHOUT HIM, OUR ESCAPEES WOULD BE DEAD-EEE. Also he was one suave, smooth talking mofo and I feel like if he walked up to you and said “You’re lovely, but you’re an idiot. It’s okay, because you’re pretty tho.” that compliment sandwich would go right over your head and you’d thank him.

Geena: ok FIRST OFF I would be like “why do you have a tail” but god Kae you hit all the points.

The Bad AND The Ugly

→ The Sultan and His Mom Being Pedos

Geena: Ok so, Fatima is 17 and I’m assuming the Sultan was in his mid-thirties, because he has kids Fatima’s age 👀. So I am sure it was historically accurate, the fact that the old ass man had a 17 year old concubine, but that doesn’t make it any less gross!!!! What’s worse is that Fatima’s mom was originally a slave for the sultan, so when she was born the sultan’s mom raised her and had her instated as a concubine when she was 15!!!!!! Scuse me while I 🤮.

Kae: Yea, Geena said it all. The Sultan was ewww. Fatima was his favorite and I guess he talked to her like she wasn’t a concubine? She was treated very well. For a concubine. Probably better than any concubine I’ve read about Like, she had rights and could talk shit without punishment. But still, DISGUSTEEENNNG. Our girl was groomed so we do NOT stan the Sultan.

→ Luz

Kae: we also have our main villain, Luz. She arrived at their palace to play peaceful, but she had ulterior motives that involved her spreading the word of the LORDT and taking Hassan in to be tried for Witchcraft and all that magic shit. Because if we didn’t say it before, Hassan can draw anything on a map and make that place a reality. Luz has this little worm in her eye that basically makes her super weirdly strong and badass. But fuck Luz. When Fatima finds out that Hassan is to be tried for witchcraft, she goes to him so they can both escape. Fatima wants to be free and she doesn’t want to see her bestie die. So what do they do? They dip. And now our friends are on the run.

Geena: UGH Yes, can I just say the moment that Fatima realized that Hassan would get canned she was like “fuck all these people” and peaced out with Hassan? Friendship goals… But yes LUZ!! I enjoyed reading her as a villain because she genuinely thinks she’s a good person and that her life’s mission is to “Save” people like Fatima from people like Hassan. You really end up liking her in the beginning, and then she turns around and murders a few people and you’re like…. Ah…… i see….. aND THEN it turns out she was being controlled by some brainworm that was also trying to get to the Bird King and you kind of wonder…. How much of what Luz did was her being a violent inquisitor and how much was the worm controlling her… you kno? She redeems herself by dying, so I guess she gets…. Like one (1) right.

Kae: Damn girl! Well said!!! LITCHERALY that is a perfect summary of Luz’s character. I can’t say anything else because it’s been SAID. Villains are always interesting when they don’t see themselves as the bad guy. They’re righteous and unforgiving because they believe they are doing the right thing. That’s what scary about them.

Conclusion

Kae: Okay, so in conclusion. This is an amazing book and in all honesty, I enjoyed the hell out of it. I was never bored reading it. Hassan, Fatima, and Vikram had quite the adventure and all the dramatics of made it that much more enjoyable. They left the palace in hopes of freedom. Hassan and Fatima got the idea of The Bird King from a story they liked to read, but never knew the ending. So they continued the story on their own, making it up along the way. In hopes of escaping their new fate to Luz and the Inquisition, Hassan drew up a map to the Bird King in hopes to find it. Their journey took them to meet Gwennec who sailed them to said island, where they discovered used to be inhabited long, long ago. Soon, others began to show up on the island. Hassan even got him a MANS. A DOCTOR. Whew. He’s got taste. The island is also forever changing and some of the remaining inhabitants are Jinn.

Geena: Kae summarized the story really well!!! The journey to the end was an absolute trip, but G. Willow Wilson tied up the story neatly. We get to see Fatima become less dependent on Hassan (thanks to his doctor bf who told her to chill out) and Hassan finally find the happiness he deserves. Gwen, unfortunately, doesn’t make it to the end (press F to pay respect). Luz essentially sacrifices herself by taking the map Hassan drew, getting off the island, and ripping it up. Why does she do this? Because to make a place or passage Hassan drew disappear the map has to be ripped. And leaving the map to the island wasn’t an option because the Spanish inquisition never stops!!

Kae: And if they ripped the map on the island, the island would cease to exist! Upon arrival to the island, everyone had their ships wrecked. Luz got fucked up on the shipwreck and that worm thing got ripped out of her eyes and then it became a monster on the island that was NOT to be trifled with. Since Luz got all jacked up, she was gonna die anyway and no one wanted her to stay--

Geena: Everyone said “u cant sit with us” to luz. OKAY DISCUSSING THIS BOOK MADE ME REMEMBER HOW MUCH IT MADE ME LAUGH, GENUINELY ONE OF THE FUNNIEST BOOKS I’VE READ. 10/10 FOR ME!!

Kae: LMAOOO HONESTLY. XPECIALLY FATIMA NEVER HAVING WALKED SO FAR BEFORE AND BEING A BIG OL BABY. but she DIIIID have messed up shoes that blistered so I’ll give her that BUT YES HASSAN WAS A DRAMA QUEEN “waaah, I have red hair and im pale BUT I'M STILL HOT AND I LIKE TO F U C K” But yeah, Luz got voted off the island and voted herself off the island, ripped up the map, and then they were safe and lived happily ever after. Vikram even made his final appearance to say his goodbyes to Fatima, even though he hates goodbyes. I give this book a 10/10. It was funny, the characters were likeable and relatable, and it was just a good adventure read.

#the bird king #G. Willow Wilson #diverse books #book review #the bird king review #book blogging #booklr

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kae-karo · 5 years

Note

Hi Katie! I just want you to know that I want your analysis of this new sims video more than anything and I'll just patiently wait for it... Have a nice day!

hi dear!! new sims vid, did u mean dnp simulator?

dorks spending the first ten seconds dancing in fake snow

why virtual friends???? ??

my daddies gave to me y’all,,,,,,there’s knowing your branding and then there’s acting on that knowledge and i think this may have been one time where acting on your knowledge maybe was not a good call like ily and u do u and all but

i love phil loving his branding it’s cute also shoutout to @dnpscloset thanks for finding it (x) bc i want one now if anyone needs a last minute xmas idea i’m lookin at u mom u always wait til the last minute

same dan, same

‘we all have new faces and new lives and everything’s changed, this is gonna be hella dramatic’ *inhale* *exhale*

‘when u imagine the howlter family’ god they’re such adorable n sentimental nerds i love them

phil’s actual default is bein a leany boye

dnp arguing about what ‘desperate’ actually is as if the entirety of their first year after meeting they weren’t talking as often as they could five hour skype calls amirite

get away from me stalker lmao bold of u to say that danny

phil sweetie i love you with my entire heart he’s so so excited abt the virtual snow i love him

tiny zoom in jumpcut at 2:08 overlapping audio interesting

a mood and a half

phil immediately going ‘yeahhhhh thin walls family hearing things they gotta get out’ abt dab and evan like m8 we get it all u think abt is sex we get it god u and ur husband really are made for each other aren’t u (dnp = devan reference #1)

‘i presume evan is also jobless’ ‘i hope so!’ phil is it really,,,,,,smth to be excited about,,,,,,,

dan’s doin a lot of the hand phone lately u cute boy

we should have a redbull what is wrong with them phil can barely handle having too much sugar y’all thought it was a good idea to have a redbull also we should have a redbull they share literally everything which tbh is probs for the best lbr phil on a whole can of redbull hmmmmm yes ik it’s v possible and in fact probable that phil had his own can let me live

‘it’s a sensible lightweight jacket’ in the fucking snow wow dan u really did just set urself up for phil to drag u about not dressing for the weather

dan’s fucking laugh at 4:39 gives me life literally there is no purer and more adorable sound like that’s up there with kittens purring

‘i think he’s gonna be a bit of a diva in this relationship’ did you mean: dan howell (dnp = devan reference #2)

[slight bit of ankle is showing] dan: ‘and now you’re wearing shorts’

where’s the lie tho honestly that lil pause before he said mate

this clip will live in infamy bc i want this in every fucking phan edit for the rest of time like i can’t even think of the right out-of-context clip right now but anything that can be answered with phil saying ‘it’s dan’ i need it

youtube

mandatory phil covering his mouth and bein a cutie

yes destroy gender roles in the snow universe (although seriously dan’s ‘life is just about uncon-doing the horrible conditioning of all these gender stereotypes, phil’ is so important also i stan phil recognizing that before dan i think it’s really easy to forget that just bc up til recently he’s not been as expressive as dan of his opinions on how stupid gender roles are doesn’t mean he doesn’t have just as if not more progressive a mindset than dan)

‘it’s like a dan vs phil’ dnp = devan #3

dan has such a lovely singing voice i miss him singing

dude phil’s eyebrows are making a Solid appearance v expressive

i s2g this is a different moment from the one above he’s just so fricken cute???

‘but they’ve got each other’s backs, phil, just like dab and evan’ yeeeeaaaa i’m gonna go ahead and go with dnp = devan reference #4 here i think that’s fair

snow angels are the least fun thing to do and yet (x - it literally won’t let me put it in bc it’s a privated vid rip)

amazing they just started having a snowball fight how cute n domestic am i talking abt dnp or dab and evan hmmmm - dnp = devan #5

i get that infinity war was a meme but lads it’s time to let it go

‘and they’re called the howlters’ lmao as if u ain’t an honorary lester daniel (dnp = devan #6)

i’m living for phil’s excitement i mean if that’s what redbull does to him i’m here for it i guess?

hi they’re dumb this was cute

‘we don’t want to be those people, but for us personally, we very much found that you just need to just move into a big city of some kind and just jump into life with both feet’ this is not only adorable advice but also where dnp simulator comes into play aka we did this so uhh dab n evan should do it (dnp = devan #7) also dan speaking for them both singular pronouns are quaking

‘don’t trust that’ what on earth are u on abt phil what don’t u trust the fuckin desert or?????

scalyburg phil stop pls we know we get it dan’s a furry ur a scaly we got it

why does dan spend an entire 7 seconds (8:40) adjusting is he moving closer to phil? switching which leg he’s sat on? idk but it lead to me pausing at this moment which was a gift in and of itself

‘the deposit on that one, plus the weekly went would make us instantly broke, so that’s fun, us when we moved to london’ bih do u hear me crying

does dan remember phil’s first manchester apartment what kind of question is that phil have u met dan he probably remembers every bloody inch of that place i mean he did remember that there wasn’t a bedside table so

stop that

middle of the city, romance festival, geekcon, pretty views and cherry blossom trees sounds like dnp’s ideal location do u get why i’m calling it dnp simulator yet also dnp = devan #8

we don’t want to move next to the karaoke legends wow dan bold of u to say after belting helena at 2am real bold

phil having flashbacks to the apt they toured where they found out people died there

hi phil just looks so excited by everything

look i’m not saying anything except they’re managing to find a lot of similarities b.w their lives and what they’re doing for dab and evan okay like this apartment is great for people-watching? which is what phil did in his manchester apt?

context whomst? idk her

shoutout to the wardrobe

big bold life-changing steps

anon spitting truth up in this house (but like,,,,,my thoughts exactly lmao i was like they’re such introverts they would’ve avoided meeting their neighbors at any cost including apparently smacking into a locked door trying to avoid small talk phil we love u bab)

casually mentioning dan saying ‘we are dil-’ was he gonna say dil’s son, maybe but i like to remember the bloops of dan repeatedly calling dab dil so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

omg okay so from like. this point on, when dan’s like ‘here is my vision’, i’m absolutely getting queer eye vibes like amateur queer eye tho like two gay nerds trying to embody queer eye in their lives a bit oh wait

okay okay okay dan u said an ensuite bathroom and then failed to add a door to the bedroom do u understand how frustrating that is???????? do u understand how stressful it was for me to watch that whole damn vid and know that u forgot the door????

a space for hobbies what hobbies who has hobbies

they learned nothing from building their house before: phil should take the mouse away from dan immediately look at him he is such a sugar baby in this jfc

god dan is so cute get these idiots a penthouse apartment super high up so he can have his bath next to a window okay he deserves that in life

stop it they’re literally agreeing on almost every single thing god they literally share a single brain

amazing

leany boye

‘they are young adults moving into their first apartment, you don’t have art!’ okay first of all don’t even go there daniel second of all i’m sorry you’re the one arguing for spending literally all their money but u don’t want to get some art bc it’s unrealistic????

dan saying lovely

phil’s mr carpet

navy??? navy? when did they? why?

i would get involved in a criminal plot to have that / i’m gonna throw you out of one

wow pro tips makin a comeback

phil is Losing Steam

oh my god okay so i was joking but literally phil is losing steam lmao 18:35 he says ‘ayy’ and it’s so tired-sounding

leany leany boyes

okay look ik dan’s going into ‘aww poor philly’ mode but also he knew that very quickly like honestly that’s not a Thing i would ever notice about someone tbh i’m not saying it’s like Significant but damn danny was really into phil to know that shiz man

the high-fashion gigantic rug of our dreams

okay look i can’t make this up phil literally leans away for a bit and then

hello daniel’s Curl

i stan phil getting excited over plants

dab and evan will be having a mario kart fest will they (dnp = devan #9)

mirroringggggggg

dude big mood god they’re so fond and full of memories

honestly dnp made it that way like u cannot convince me they didn’t purposely decide to do that mmkay

‘see they are ready to have their romantic dinners. and then they can pretend they have another friend and it’s fine!’ am i talking abt dnp or dab and evan who knows :) (dnp = devan #10)

cold in the middle what on earth i literally have no memory of that i mean it could just be my shit memory but jfc they just remember that stuff goddamn

scrunchy boyes also phil where’s ur arm at hm

like i’m not fuckin joking where is it

you can’t exist without a computer i mean

what is important in life / the internet

they don’t even have fucking doors and dan’s like ‘uhm they need a terrarium’ dan i’m stressed

oh my god i’m sorry phil is so done with this now it’s actually comical

hi they didn’t add a door for the ensuite

give dnp an interior design series honestly give them any series

phil reached for dan’s hand u cannot convince me otherwise

‘not my personal taste’ really,,,,,really

when dab n evan hug dan looks at the screen n phil looks at the camera things u didn’t need to know but now u do

lmao jumpscared by the kiss

‘i feel like i’ve never nailed anything more in my entire life’ hmmmm hmmmmmmmmmm hm

the fuck was dan’s ‘getting a job’ that’s his fnaf voice u stop that

doon doon doon doon

tongue

hi uhm what the Fuck was that jumpcut at 28:30 i hate Obvious Jumpcuts with a burning passion specifically bc of dnp

#dnp #dan and phil #dapg #phan #danandphilgames #sims #devan #vid analysis #anon #ask #kt

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transgender-scout · 5 years

Text

Okay I found a pdf online of the Angel experiment and started reading it last night when I couldn’t sleep. It turned into less of a list of me complaining and more of a reaction as I relived my life in 6th grade. I’ve got the first four chapters + the prologue so I’ll do 5 chapters at a time. To keep from clogging dashes I’m going to drop this bad boy under the cut.

Book 1:

Prologue

•Oh my god I actually missed these prologues where the protagonist talks so dramatically to the reader like this. Gives me a real animorphs vibe hell yeah

•OH MY GOD 14 I USED TO THINK THAT WAS SO OLD WHAT HAPPENED

•WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO RELEASE A LITERAL CHILD INTO THE WORLD LIKE THIS

•God I’m losing it this sounded like a deviant art bio

•Oh god I see where I got my flare for dramatic introductions

•It always bothered me that they’re only 2% bird. I feel like that might have given them some patches of feathers maybe instead of wings and improved hearing and sight and strength and metabolism an

•There it is again-“the only experiments to make it past infancy” I have a couple of books’ worth of proof that says that’s wrong. Yeah sure Max probably didn’t know about everything that was going on at the school but don’t sound so definitive about this. What is this, supernatural?

•Also why were the Erasers the only ones who could morph? Wouldn’t it be better to have wings that could morph into your back?? More useful???

•Also I hope the internet taught them about furries so they could make snide jokes tinged with nervous laughter about how Erasers are furries.

•“Welcome to our nightmare” GOD THAT'S SO 2005

•I still have no idea what Max meant by “if you read this story, you become part of the experiment.” I don’t see any wings popping out of my back, Miss, I’d like a refund.

Chapter 1

•GODDD NOW I SEE WHERE I GET MY WRITING STYLE I HATE THISSS

•Also still not sure what the whole point of this dream sequence was besides padding out a first chapter (which honestly? Mood). Any insight?

•W-if the Erasers are chasing after Max, why the fuck do they have bloodhounds? Isn’t wolf smelling on par, if not better than dogs’?? I understand this is a dream but like. Yo.

•Everyone always draws Max’s wings like eagle wings and they’re even colored like that in the manga, but the wiki says they resemble hawk wings. Hm.

Chapter 2

•Also the E shaped house always bugged me, too. The way it sounds, it’s not secluded by trees or anything, but Max says they’re totally hidden?? Surely someone goes hiking in the mountains around there.

•Ah yes. Jeb. Bastard man.

•Wait did he just. Fuckin up and leave? Like in the middle of the night like “bye kids gonna go get some milk” and never came back? How fucked up is that?

•And how the fuck did he expect three 12 year olds to take care of a 9 year old, a 6 year old, and a 4 year old by themselves??

•No doctors. Is Max part of the anti vaxx movement? Surely the folks at the lab weren’t like “well obviously they need all their shots if they’re to function normally in society and not die of chickenpox.”

•Also I like how dramatically this chapter ends. He literally could have kept going djsjfjsfn

Chapter 3

•Why is Gazzy a walking potty humor joke? That literally comes into play once in like the third to last book. #GiveGazzyTheCharacterDevelopmentHeDeserves2k19

•I forgot if this was mentioned but how do they know Gazzy and Angel are siblings? Is it just because they look similar?

•IGGY. SON.

•Also I’m remembering every page from the manga in like super high definition rn

•I saw someone else discuss this, but where in the fuck do they get food from?? Max makes it sound like she’s never gone into real society before and a 14 year old buying at least $1000 worth of groceries every week seems super sketch to literally any place ever.

•It always struck me as weird that Angel likes cozy places considering she lived in a dog crate for the first few years of her life.

•It’s so weird to me that literally the only person who got powers was Angel. The rest develop their (single use) powers along the way whenever it was convenient but I guess she just started out with hers? Idk I literally have no room to talk tho one of my ocs has inexplicable mind reading powers too lol

Chapter 4

•JDJSFJ THE CONVO AB THE STRAWBERRIES IS SO SHORT AND FORCED FJSJFJSJK I know it’s just to start the plot but shakfjajfjwj???

•CHAPTER 4 IS LITERALLY A PARAGRAPH LONG WHAT IN THE HELL

•Oh also why don’t they ever use Gazzy’s voice mimic thing?? JP could have made things where it was voice locked but Gazzy could have had a personality and been like “yo guys I got this!”

•Also how in the world can an 8 year old perfectly mimic a 14 year old’s voice? I’m guessing it’s an implied bird thing maybe.

•“Most of us had [weird abilities].” LITERALLY ONLY TWO OF YOU DO.

Chapter 5

•Oof trained? I can see why Jeb would train the kids to fight but like,,, yikes. Those are literal babies,,,,, plss

•Also I thought it was weird how they could just clap their hands around the Eraser’s ears and their eardrums would just fuckin pop. Do wolves really work like that? Someone who knows more about wolves than me look that up.

•Honestly?? The flock should have tons of scars n shit from all the times they’ve fought the Erasers. I’d really have liked to hear them come up at some point.

•Was there a reason they only wanted Angel or…? It’s been a long time since I read the series. From what Max was saying, pretty much half flock was out cold and would have been easy pickings for the Erasers to take back to the lab.

•Well the one thing I can say is that at least Ari is acting like a jealous seven year old.

•Lowkey wish there’d been more time to establish Ari, in hindsight. While we do get his view point in later books, we still really didn’t even get to know much about him. I’m not sure if that was for a reason or just a character who didn’t get developed. I wish there had at least been a name drop or something in the priori chapters like “I’m pretty sure Jeb had a son. Wonder where he went. Oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

•Also I forgot again but was there a reason Jeb didn’t bring Ari along?? Like, he couldn’t have done the same things as the flock, sure, but at least he would be there with his dad and like, other kids near his age to interact with. Did we ever get any info ab Ari’s mom? Again, shitty memory.

#this is gonna be a trip #maximum ride #terrifiedofjudgement

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obeetlebeetle · 5 years

Note

Do all the dnd asks!

1. A favorite character you have played.

done!

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played.

o my god.. this is so hard, my group makes really good characters! for each of them:zach - nickels!! trauma child kenku weirdo who sold their soul to talk.. who grew up to be an angry pirate who adopted a child on impulse.ari - lael, obviously. they have a half-elf complex, a good chunk of their personality is being the kid that catches lizards, and they have a robot arm.lemon - honestly? jj devinyl. i mean, john mulaney as a tiefling cleric who loves his wife and is also going completely insane? yeah.bree - i.. love layla. she’s a good-aligned cleric to an evil god and her and kellan are the cutest couple in dnd tbh.connor - guardian is a robot.

3. Your favorite side quest.

o fuck!! y’all.. it’s bufo. it’s the fact that my talking toad npc was so lovable that they unlocked the quest in which his mother hunts him down and tries to kill him so that she can live forever. they killed her ofc and bufo was untransformed into a handsome.. halfling.

4. Your current campaign.

i’m running a murder mystery set aboard an airship! with strong cosmic horror elements! and i’m playing in a large-scale epic about spies caught up in the very start of a continent-wide war.

5. Favorite NPC.

also a very hard question. on one hand, jean is my actual boyfriend and also a literal angel assassin. on the other hand, nika is a child god trapped in an amulet whose super god power makes people trip which is so fucking funny. back around to the first hand, which is now the third, aengus is so well-done as a villain that he’s almost scared me in my real-life actual heart and yet he’s an a huge loser with breakup trauma, which is objectively also so fucking funny. on my fourth hand, fela is my most important npc who i’m probably in love with and she’s been in every one of my campaigns. on my FIFTH hand--

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).

done!

7. Your favorite downtime activity.

done!

8. Your favorite fight/encounter.

that time nasuada beat lumley up in her own dumb-ass head, and lumley’s response was to find this super hot.

9. Your favorite thing about D&D.

getting together and spending time with my friends! or maybe that it lets me be creative without the stress writing gives me.

10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most.

fav enemy is def aengus!! like wow he’s fucking terrifying!! and i hate yin&yang the most, they were so creepy and cruel and they were never really punished.

11. How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play?

i dm once a week these days, and i play sporadically. thesis year has been hard on me! but ideally i would love to dm twice a week and play in one or two steady campaigns, or dm once a week with regular one-shot sessions!

12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.

o.. there’s a lot?? my favorite is “honeyclaw pissed on lenthol” bc our barbarian thought it would be a good idea to climb into the robot piloted by the “big bad” (or so we thought at the time), and then to sell her bluff that she was looking for the bathroom, she just...... pissed herself >:(

13. Introduce your current party.

as a dm: lael (half-elf magitechnician who bases their mad science off of cool bugs); guardian (robot paladin on his third life, basically robocop with light existential crises); senhora (brash and kind-hearted by turns, an elf who [REDACTED] before becoming a ranger and bonding w a wolf); jj devinyl (a tiefling cleric who does stand-up comedy and loves his wife); and percy (an android with identity issues, driven by curiosity, and love for magic, and literally no qualms about threatening to kill her friends).

as a player:rowan (the last prince of a lost kingdom and also the saddest, gayest boy in town); ko&kokumo (my elf boy whose soul split in two after leaving his warlock patron, driven by nosiness and romance respectively); honeyclaw (a tabaxi pro-wrestler who deserted her life as a child soldier, pissed on lenthol); peitho (the surprisingly wholesome god of sex, was kinda into the tactics of being a spy before he got distracted by p*ssy); and lumley (the dumbest baby lesbian ever o my god, she’s the daughter of a powerful river goddess and she still can’t get a date).

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.

that would take me one million years.

15. Do you have snacks during game times?

yeah!! traditionally we take a halfway break at 9 and all go get snacks together, it’s great.

16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer?

i prefer in person, but we play online a lot, and we’ll have to be only online once we graduate.

17. What are some house rules that your group has?

we round up score mods from odds and we don’t pay attention to like.. most of the little rules. it’s more abt the storytelling. (which is why we may switch to a different system if i can seduce them away.)

18. Does your party keep any pets?

o yeah, i think almost every group has had an animal companion. and if not, zach always plays a furry.

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions?

a lot of us roll specific sets for each character!

20. How did you get into D&D? How long have you been playing?

i got into dnd in high school bc i liked a boy who watched community, and then i watched community, and the dnd episode fucking rocked. never got past making characters and one botched attempt at a session. then in my first year of college, i joined the dnd club and i’ve been playing since! so like, three years and some change.

21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done?

ya lol i play very much how my character would act and tho that usually goes well for me.. ko wanted to break his pact with aengus despite the Consequences and i didn’t. but overall i think the outcome has been a lot of fun!

22. What color was your first dragon?

silver! just introduced them, actually!

23. Do you use premade modules or original campaigns?

all original, baby.

24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game?

a ton. as a dm i write........ a lot. i want to have a lot of vivid characters, solid plots, and a huge interwoven world. so my docs are always huge and take me months to finish.

as a player i do less bc players just inherently have far less to do. but i still try put a ton into really developing my character so i can play them more naturally.

For DMs

25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for?

in my first campaign, i used a lot of weird memory spells to keep characters from remembering the big bad, because him being unremembered was a HUGE plot point for me. i had two different groups playing in the city at the same time, and one of them.... had this dragonborn who just liked to talk to plants and who hated nobles, and who fucking cast MAGIC MOUTH on their FANNY PACK to record that big bad so that it COULDN’T BE FORGOTTEN. MAGIC MOUTH. THAT’S THE SPELL THAT BROKE ME.

26. What was your favorite scene to write and show your characters.

i’ve really liked a couple, but i know i haven’t topped the finale for my first campaign. after finally the groups finally came together and killed Shargaas, the city began to crumble around them, and they all watched me set a ten-minute timer for them to figure out how to get away with their lives.

27. Do you allow homebrew content?

o yea, i adore MFOV particularly.

28. How often do you use NPCs in a party?

o there are always a couple kicking around.

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?

we don’t really.. do... that second thing....

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

yes.

For Players

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?

o fuck. uh probably wizard. and i love................. half-elves.

32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)

i really like long-distance damage dealers.

33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory?

i always start with a concept and then i just write an entire novel ell em ay oh.

34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?

done!

35. How much roleplay do you like to do?

like, 70% rp, 30% jokes,

#shadiekid

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bigbrothernetflix-st · 4 years

Text

EPISODE THREE

“this was literally one of the worst decisions i've ever had to make so now i'm just kinda pissed off!” - nash

HOH: Nash UPSIDE DOWN: Joey & Saira NOMINEES: Brianna & Gina POV: Jacob FINAL NOMINEES: Emma & Gina EVICTED: Gina (11-1), Jake (WALK)

ARIA

https://youtu.be/SyHPQkbxxw8

JOEY

WATCH THIS AGE LIKE MILK:

I feel great!!!!! Nash winning means my ass aint going up, I gave her 2 tokens, and she gave me 1, and I feel fantastic heading into this week

SAIRA

i feel okay about nash being hoh, she wasn't my first choice but i don't think im in any danger of being nominated (hopefully haha) im not sure who i WOULD want to be nominated, i just know who i wouldn't want, so as long as they're okay i'm good!

JEV

I'm once again feeling pretty good this week. I've grown pretty close to Nash since nominating her in week 1 and she told me and Nathan we aren't going up so, there's that! She's told me Gina is going up and will be her target which I'm not thrilled about but hopefully Gina can pull some miracle and win POV. I'm a little worried about Emma and Jake too, as they've both said they haven't spoken to her much which is dumb, bc like hello??? its week 3, i feel esp with Jake, I can understand Emma bc Nash keeps leaving her on read but I don't think Jake has even tried much (crying emoji) So hopefully they can ALSO pull something out

JAKE

FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate everyone in this game t b h. why can't people just follow with a plan and go through with it like it aint that hard to put your chips on one person from your alliance so youre all safe like........ i dont think these ppl understand strategy and it's TIRING. i frankly am over people relying on their friendships to get themselves through another week bc fucking nash won an alliance-based hoh comp. now we have to deal w this fucking friend group running the house another week. i don't know if i'm safe i'm honestly probably going to be put up??? even tho nash is the one that CONSTANTLY ignores my PMs even tho ive given her paragraphs to respond to... she's gonna do whatever her little friends want her to do. i mean that's what she literally said to me. i was like pls don't nom me <3 and she was like "im not making any promises im just doing whatever the house wants me to do" like girl............ lkjghklsdfjhg what kind of dumbass bullshit response was that. just tell me you're putting me up or you're not. youre a big girl you can make your own fucking decisions.

i give nash what i would give any hoh if they won and that is "i'd never ever nominate you it's never even crossed my mind" and hoping that's enough to make her wanna keep me. she might think im not going after her but, if she's smart, she'll send me out the door this week before i can retaliate.

im super super worried that jacob will be like oh jev n jake aligned in BBHOS9 u should put them up together since jev nominated you week 1. like i feel like she'd do ANYTHING jacob tells her at this point cuz shes just another one of his sheep so like hoping im good w jacob but he's such a wildcard idfk

at this point im just hoping me or emma don't get put up and if we do there will be a veto to be won and a nash/jacob to come after next so...... period

ARIA

yall i feel so fucking cracked and tired of everything but itS FINE!!! I got this easy peasy!! Im not going to always feel motivated but im doing my best and thats valid baby!!! So lets jump in, first off lets start with a random information dump of things i've collected

-jacob has talked about me w/ nicholas during pasio

-monty and jacob have a connection ( i dont even remember how)

-nathan nash (maybe jacob) obviously tight lmao

-joey monty close

-Jake made a counter alliance to Jacob's (actually joshes) alliance made of me gina saira emma and josh

-josh emma me alliance

-JOEY RECORDS CALLS

-Jake is wary of nathan (but also thinks hes cute ugh)

-told jake im wary of pasio peeps so he might nom them

-Jacob alliance STILL isnt created

-called with josh and told him that jacob is wary that the alliance isnt made yet

-jacob josh have a pregame

-told josh, saira and nick have a pregame

-josh kiki close

-josh thinks saira is a social threat

-josh prefers jev over nathan

-told monty to talk to jake more

-told joshua jacob is the most connected person

-got back to nash gina doesnt like her

-jacob kiki nash confirmed trio alliance

-nash told jev gina is the target (jev then told jake)

-josh thought jacob was the original maker of the alliance

-jake thinks jacob/josh are snakes

-jake also thinks jacob-josh-nash-kiki-bri-nick-nathan are an alliance

-josh wants to play the middle w/ me :uwu:

So from here I want to get into how my ideal week will go and how it will realistically go. IDEALLY Nash noms jev and josh with them not winning veto and the house gets rid of a utr social threat but realistically its gonne be gina and jake with gina going bc she doesnt talk to anyone of have any motivation for this game (I LITERALLY WROTE HER A PARAGRAPH TO SEND TO NASH TO NOT BE NOMINATED AND SHE GOES "hmm idk maybe ill send it" LIKE????)

Okay the other thing im freaking out about is bc i feel like theres tension between me Jacob Josh and Jake and im not sure what it is about. I mean i kinda do but im missing key components. The whole situation just doesn't sit right with me at all and I feel very at odds with them in a weird kinda way. I've explained this so many times but i have such a bad feeling that josh leaked the janelle alliance to jacob and is more with him than me and now josh is setting these two sides against each other and i just heard from him that nash isnt nomming him so now im really uncomfy ughhhh i have such a bad feeling and i really need to work on people like jev saira monty to make sure i have people behind me i can fall back on, but also im getting the vibe jake really really trusts me which is great because i want to go far with him as well, unless hes just misting me SUPER hard ughhh

god i just have such a bad feeling about this week buts its fINE totally fine ill work it out eventually,,,but now its trust ranking time yay

1.Gina (youre so inactive i adore you!)

2.Joshua (kid GANG!!! thank you for trusting me sometimes <3)

3.Jake (hes a crackhead but hes my crackhead)

VERY BIG GAP

4.Emma (shes chilling what a lovely gal)

5.Monty (better inactive than be active and a threat)

6.Nathan (youre kinda sketchy but hes like a funky older brother)

7.Josh (youre at the center of a balancing act i wonder if u can keep it up)

8.Nick (they always give such an honest vibe,,,,,i dont trust it)

9.Brianna (shes so sweet but the sweetest angels make the fiercest demons)

10.Jev(,,,,your on slightly thicker ice than joey but combined with a little more charisma)

ANOTHER GAP WOOT WOOT

11.Joey (youre on THIN fucking ice buddy,,,,please be more open w/ me)

12.Saira (im begging for u to talk game to me,,, but also since we havent talked u cant snake me yet)

13. Jacob (idk ily sm but youre so fcking connected and idk if i reached ur inner circle yet)

14. Kiki (my favorite furry)

15.Nash (please talk to me im begging ill do anything please plsease plaease plae-)

So update ive been talking around and wow this game loves looking at my allies and kicking them in the kneecaps while spitting in their eyes ugh. So nash is probably leaning towards nomming jake and Gina with gina as the target (really weird that jake is nommed makes me think jacob had some influence there) but in that scenario best case is that veto is used and anyone but josh goes up and that person leaves easy fucking peasy!! Anyway i just talked with josh and apparently jacob was the one who came up with the alliance idea which is interesting bc he tried to pin it on josh. Anyways not to totally contradict my initial rant but me and josh had a really good chat where we're kinda in the same position between two groups (the og alliance and janelle) and we dont know if we should make the og alliance and with who bc of janelle so we're struggling to see whats the correct move from here....or maybe josh is completely misting me but i fucking hope not ugh- either way im surviving this week and thats that!!

JEV

I'm realising that I'm getting myself into a pretty tight position since I have firm alliances with Emma & Jake and Nash & Nathan, as well as being extremely close to Josh C, which could prove difficult for me down the line, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

KIKI

https://youtu.be/6cn8xUFWqhA

BRIANNA

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XvZzg3dTEZ89VeFbG3bxk4JFNtr7Ixm0/view?usp=sharing

i had to use google drive bc it wouldn't take my file on youtube :((((

JEV

So right now I've somehow accidentally wriggled my way into conspiring with Nash on how best to take Gina out, which is so dumb of me because I don't really want to see Gina leave this week, but at the same time I'm having to fight Nash's decision because she wants to put Emma up beside her and... I can't let that happen because I'm worried Emma would leave over Gina

JEV

So I'm speaking to Nash, taking the heat off of Emma by telling her I feel she could be a number for me/her/Nathan down the line, and now I'm pushing for Brianna to go up since Nash wants someone who 100% wouldn't leave over Gina and I'm thinking like... WHO would vote to evict Brianna, but at the same time I'm feeling super terrible about it because Brianna is a literal angel

JEV

Wow a lot going on so I'm trying to update as best I can, Nash is saying she's going to randomise for who goes to the upside down so I'm having to encourage her not to include me or Nathan in the randomisation just incase she needs us for strategising but REALLY its so I can stay and hang around and try my best to keep Emma from touching the block at all this week.

NASH

sorry for nominating women i didnt mean it.

EMMA

If i am being honest the more this game goes by i get so unmotivated and its only week 3 i suck because well in bbgames like galar and almia i mostly played from the bottom now im like alright i kinda want to fuck up my game for fun but kinda pisses me off a bit that i almost could of been nominated if it wasnt for jev but that pisses me off so much i tried talking to nash but i get left on read i dont take things 100x personal unless if somebody is being mean like laughing etc but knowing that i would be on the block over brianna when i did try talking to nash its still hurts a little but if somebody like gina wins veto if i get on the block it issss what it isss i guess but i played on the bottom way to many times maybe i can do this??

JEV

So my efforts worked and Brianna went up instead of Emma, now I've just gotta hope neither of the noms win POV/that the POV isn't used so I don't have to throw someone elses name out there to Nash :flushed:

JOSH

hello ladies and gays. straights aren't welcome here.

today, we are feeling GOOD because the person we nominated just a few days ago won power and STILL didn't nominate me. is that iconnery or what? i was honestly ready for my ass to be TOAST but i did approach nash before they won HOH and had a conversation about where we stood and they said i would be OKAY this week bc we did start talking. we love to see it, yes we do!

the nominees this week are gina and brianna and.. even though i'm in two different alliances with both of them, i'm not mad at either of them going up. i don't REALLY talk with either and i'd be happy to see either one of them go. the tricky part will be figuring out WHO to vote when the time comes, but we have a POV to happen before we get there. we'll SEE.

if i had to choose, i'd probably send brianna home simply because i find her a bit CHAOTIC where i feel like gina isn't really going to cause a lot of waves with me. she's much more quiet whereas brianna is more likely to be able to pick herself back up.

some other fun events going on:

jake was NOT happy about nash winning and thought he was going to get nominated because of it. he was about to RIP nash a new one and is really brewing with how much he hates them. MAKES ME LAUGH A LIL BECAUSE IT WAS SO UNWARRANTED BUT NEVERTHELESS, it's something to note that jake does NOT like nash.

i think aria is my number one right now bc we get along really well and have very similar opinions. i'm really open with how i talk to her so i'm HOPING she's not spilling everything i say to someone else but i don't think she WOULD? i dunno. i love her energy and i'm hoping we can SLICE AND DICE together in the middle.

my strategy is to take my HOH under my belt and take a step back for a minute while my two alliances (one: jake, aria, gina, emma, saira, me & two: jacob, aria, brianna, kiki, me) get picked off back and forth. i'm going to see if i can craft a narrative for them to go after each other but we'll SEE. there are a lot of people in the middle i enjoy a lot more than some of the people in my alliances so IDK. i feel like some people got thrown into these alliances that i did NOT want but they were kind of forced in so i don't trust it. and i think people KNOW because i'm not very chatty abt it in the chats (and i haven't even made one of the chats. am i supposed to? idk)

anyways that's all for now x

ARIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zp71zzR-wgE

someone help

JAKE

https://voca.ro/g2ZQWs9x8du

JEV

Not miss Nash coming to me asking how I'd feel about being renom :flushed:

JEV

So I literally just woke up from a sleep and in the space of 30 minutes have had to talk Nash out of renomming me, Emma or Jake since we've just made an alliance together so I warned her that probably wouldn't work out for us in the long run. We narrowed it down and she shortlisted Aria, Josh C, Monty & Nick, and I have spun her to try and get her to nominate Aria, because 1. I don't wanna see Josh C go up and 2. like with Brianna I feel nobody here would vote to evict Aria, and Nash wants Gina GONE (crying emoji) so I feel this was the only logical renom to suggest.

JEV

The conversation has turned back to Emma and I just really don't wanna let that happen because I do feel like she'd leave over Gina. Part of me is saying not to stick my neck out too much to save Emma but at the same time she's my number 1 in this game and I hope she'd return the favour if she was in my position.

NASH

this was literally one of the worst decisions i've ever had to make so now i'm just kinda pissed off!

ARIA

Well,,,, FBSFJDF I feel like im making so many of these but honestly this game changes everyday so please dont be too annoyed by me uwu, the mood swing i had just this DAY was insane so lets begin w/ the general info-

IN TIME LINE ORDER

-Jev told jake that something about noms but acted dumb when I asked

-Gina/Joshua/Aria alliance created!!

-Saira and Josh are close

- VIDEO DR GOES HERE

-Jake spills Emma-Jev-Nathan-Nash-Jake alliance with Emma/Jev/Jake being a trio as well= Jev created the alliance

-Jev prefers gina out

-jake doesnt believe in screenshots or recording calls

-Jev and Jake are close

-Jev/Jacob/Jake all played together before

-I leaked Bri's backups to Jake as well as Jacob's trio with Nash and Kiki

-nash almost backdoored jev bc he wasnt responding to her

-jev was the reason i was almost otb

-I WAS ALMOST OTB

-Josh AND Jacob both want Jake out

-Bri thinks nash's comp ability is scary

-Nash and Nick are close

-Jacob nervous about Bri's backup leaking

-Jacob barely talks w/ saira and monty

-made a final three w/ jacob josh called malibu

So now im debating whether its morally okay for me to analyze what happened in the living room in a game sense. FBSdffan So lets run down things in chronological order and I might mention my thoughts if they arent too controversial, Nathan leaks the alliance with jev/nash/jake/emma. Eventually emma says 'i wanna know who put these thoughts in the hohs head" and nick starts to shut the discussion down which is an interesting contrast to their earlier attitude where they were very for the drama continuing, which leads me to begin they had some sort of hand in it. Nathan goes on to say he likes nash on a personal lvl which jake analyzes as a nod to a friendgroup and a mini confrontation between nathan and jake occur. I believe that part was just a misunderstanding on both parties account. Then happy discussion until Jake calls nash out for being in the diary session for too long which leads to a discussion of house guests over analyzing production and using that as a strategy which is ultimately unfair and also at this time I believe nash was going through itTM leading to their friends to be slightly defensive on their behalf (which is valid) and i after rereading things i really hope that they're okay, ultimately this leads up to frustration on Jake's part and his ultimate quit.

I mean where do i go from here? I have the Bri's angels but that did get leaked to Emma on Jake's way out so i need to figure some way to micromanage that where i think im gonna make a emma jev alliance and work with them as a trio in the future (if gina goes) but rn i feel like this force of energy that is Bri's backups is gonna body for a bit but i think theyre gonna throw hoh leading me jev or emma to step up and body a bit. Like i think i might actually win hoh and nom nash and monty with a nick potential renom bc im BORED and nash continuing to skate by without even talking to me is not valid, and monty is so not here its like??? HEWWO??? but idk thats making big moves i may just chill a bit for now but i dont want jev and emma being targeted in the future bc theyre gonna be numbers for me and thats on PEWIOD!

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L25lY813N1k&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=4&t=0s

#bbnetflix st

0 notes

lanceville · 7 years

Note

How do i survive first day of school (can you distract me pls and talk about platonic klunk or something else?)

yeesh first day of school is the toughest… but they’re not always bad… here are some klunk headcanons that might make it a better day for you buddy:

lance made hunk watch all six of his favorite movies at least twice and memorize all of his favorite lines from them

hunk and lance let off the loudest and longest of offended gasps when keith asked them what starwars is. like seriously keith?!?? SERIOUSLY?!!? WERE YOU LIVING IN AN ISOLATED UNCIVILIZED SHACK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESER- oh wait you were buT THAT DOESN’T EXCUSE YO-

lance: “bro i can fit my entire world into my hands” hunk: “how bro” lance: *cups hunk’s face* hunk: *is touched* bro……

whenever keith or lance have a nightmare or just trouble sleeping, they go to hunk. boi aren’t hunk’s bed cuddles the warmest and best ever…. they sleep soundly like just-fed infants. sleeping with him has become their favorite thing ever that it’s become a daily routine. keith and lance take turns because the bed won’t fit all three or else they’ll suffocate lmao

when lance was a kid he called his beloved fluffy teddy bear hunk because it reminded him of his best friend

hunk reminds keith of hippos. CUTE AND DEADLY

lance: “oh my favorite hobby? teasing keith 24/7″

sometimes keith gets jealous of how close lance and hunk are and wants to be part of whatever the two are doing together. he doesn’t voice that, but hunk and lance notice it. they invite him to join their little chats and mini adventures whenever they catch him looking at them, and they just love the beaming look on keith’s face as he walks towards them excitedly like they’ve invited him to a mcr concert

*keith knocking lance’s room door at 2am* so do you really not remember the bonding moment bish

lance and keith spit in each other’s food when the other turns his head around but neither of them has caught the other doing that. the others just ignore them because this isn’t the worst they’ve seen them doing smh

hunk is big and strong and can fend off 10 galra soldiers by himself but keith and lance still feel the need to Defend Him At All Costs. anything that gets as close to hunk as 5 meters gets sliced to shreds and shot to ashes within 0.5 seconds

lance: “your mullet is no bueno for the ladies” keith: “who said i even fucking care”

lance loves playing with keith’s hair and braiding it tho

just compliment keith’s knife collection one (1) time and he’ll offer you his heart and love you 5ever

hunk sometimes tries to make the food he makes from alien ingredients taste like lance’s mother’s dishes as much as possible to ease his friend’s homesickness. (hunk frequently stayed for dinner at lance’s place back on earth. he loved lance’s mother’s cooking and asked her to teach him how to cook several meals)

keith was once eating a purple alien fruit. the moment hunk saw a stain of purple juice on keith’s chin he yelled his lungs out: “OH MY GOD GUYS IT’S HAPPENING KEITH IS TURNING PURPLE I REPEAT KEITH IS TURNING PURPLE KEITH’S GALRA SIDE IS FINALLY EMERGING” keith: ”it’s just from the fruit i wa-” “SHH DON’T BE SCARED KEITH PURPLE IS NOT A BAD COLOR IT’LL JUST MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A LOVELY, FRESHLY PICKED EGGPLANT. i love eggplants btw” “wtf”

lance: “anyway- i can’t believe keith’s dad is a fucking furry”

whenever there’s a fart smell they all look at lance. he swears it’s not him but no one believes him it’s pidge but no one ever finds out

keith likes when lance overtalks. he’s not talkative himself- he’s more of the listening type, and lance has a cute, attractive way of talking, even tho he doesn’t understand what he’s talking about 75% of the time

keith is VERY possessive of his knife collection and doesn’t allow anyone, not even shiro, to lay a finger on it, but he willingly lends his blades to hunk to cut food with. keith is awed by hunk’s chopping skills and how smoothly he cuts stuff with his muscular arms- it’s his favorite thing to watch

lance and hunk call each other by pet names so casually “hey babe did you see where my jacket is” “no sweetheart have you checked the training room” “oh not yet thanks chocolate muffin”

lance once mistakenly called keith “baby” bc he’s so used to calling hunk as such and like they’re bros and all now right? he had the toughest fricking time in his life trying to explain to him that no, keith, it’s not an insult, keith, i’m not looking down or ridiculing you, keith, no that’s not what i meant, keith, just why are you like this, keith,

keith whenever he doesn’t understands something: *looks at lance for explanation* lance: i have no fucking idea either buddy

person: do you believe in angels? lance and keith: not until i met hunk garrett

keith’s secretly the best at puns and jokes on the team. this is why he always makes fun of lance’s because HAHAHA what an amateur he needs 10000 light years to reach my level. he very rarely puts his skill into good use tho so what’s the point

hunk believes whatever lance says and never doubts its credibility. if lance says this hairstyle is ugly? then it IS. if lance says that guy is annoying? never met him before but wtv he definitely IS. if lance says unicorns exist? they fucking chased a mermaid together so of coURSE HE’S RIGHT

their Boys Night Together is just gossiping about their classmates at the garrison, painting each other’s nails while listening to mcr, and breakdancing with mouths stuffed with cookies

keith: “the fastest way to a girl’s heart is through the riB S “dude cHILL”

hunk: “i get scared easily :(” also hunk: if you as much as touch a fingernail of my friends’ i’ll fucking murder you and feed you to the hounds”

those three are an invincible combination. like red, blue, and yellow aka the primary colors? a sword, gun/rifle, and cannon that cover short, medium, and far ranged combat?? white, brown, and black races??? fire, water, and earth elements???? keith, lance, and hunk????? how the hell would anyone win against the death trio

klunk more like Handsome Wooden Spear amiright AMIRIGHT ;)

#hope you have a great first day buddy!!!! stay strong!!!!!!#voltron #klunk #keith #lance #hunk #text #headcanon #mp #anon #asks

184 notes · View notes

hoetron · 7 years

Text

okay christ i got tagged in htis massive tag game by @mothable but i love a good ol challenge lets do this buckfucks

RULES: ANSWER THESE 88, THEN TAG SOME PEOPLE

BASICS:

a. NAME AND PRONOUNS: Rae, she/her

b. AGE (and birthday!): 13, Aug 28th :3c im a fucking fetus ny’all

c. SEXUALITY: am i bi? am i lesbian? am i just craving existential death 24/7? i dont fucking know a thing my guy

d. GENDER: cis female hooooh

e. COUNTRY: AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI

f. FAVORITE AESTHETIC: pastel colours and really nice fashion i guess..??? (also smoking is kind of aesthetic eyes emoji eyes emoji)

TRIGGERS/MENTAL ILLNESSES: i’m not actually sure :x

THE LAST:

1. DRINK: salt water hah normal water is for the WEAK (dont drink salt water please im begging y

2. PHONE CALL: my brother asking what kind of pizza i wanted

3. TEXT MESSAGE: “:3c” im such a fufcking furry...fuckck,,,,

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Daydream warriors by Aquors listen nyall im reconnecting with my hidden buried weebass side of me okay im crying

5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: i dont actually remember? probably like last year unless you count me having tears from laughing too hard as cryng then thats yesterday during the meme aka now called lightning mcqueen server

HAVE YOU:

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: nahh

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: dont think ive ever kissed someone thats not my family before im #Pure

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: nope lmao

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: my grandfather i guess? but he died when i was really young so at that time i didnt really undersyand the feeling of loss and mourn so ksdjfk but we had some goodass memories together

10. BEEN DEPRESSED: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you’re fine when you’re not really fine but you just cant get into it because they would never understa

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: im severely underaged please

TOP 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. red

13. yellow

14. either black or lavendar,,

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yis

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: ya,,

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: okay im known as the most giggly person in class i laugh so easily that i easily have tears over everything

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: nahh dont think i wanna know if its like in a bad way :x

19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: aw y e s

20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: ya :,) (Thanks em, lily, mae and imogen for making this year truly greater than last year and for being the best friends i could ever ask for)

21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: facebook is dead to me

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: serious facebook is dead to me i roasted above the flames of negligence (also because i have like two facebook accounts one using my pesonal email and the other using my more general email , the one using my more general email keeps recommending to me my OWN personal account and its personally so hilarious)

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: a cat called lucky! (i love him even though im p sure he hates me)

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: i guess my irl name uhhh im 50-50 with it? but granted on the internet i waaay prefer using the name Rae over my irl one because its short and simple and nice-

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: just want to a chinese resturant with my fam and my uncle because we’re simple that way and like. back then i didnt had that much friends so uh l m a o (but vidhi gave me a nerf gun so that was Really Cool and i love her)

26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY: 9 oclocK BECAUSE A HOUSING AGENT WAS COMING OVER (but then i fell back to sleep and woke up at 12 so lmao)

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: watching a video on why ‘anime art isnt technically allowed in art school’ because i was just curious and then drawing

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: VOLTRON LEGENDARY FUCKNG DEFENDERS SEASON 3 SHIT BABES IM REA LLY FUCKING PREPARED AND NEAR END OF MONTH AVCON BECAUSE EYES EMOJI

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: an hour ago lmao shes like just outside my room

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: sighs my shyness and social anxiety and awkwardness (all three of those are counted in a pack right? the pack of “socially inept” people)

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: daydream warriors... by aquors..... (listen im RECONNECTING with my weeb side like said above im actually weeping)

32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: uh idk mate

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: i havent brushed my teeth yet but im lazy to move my legs lmao

LOST QUESTIONS

34. MOLE(S): um quite a lot like a few small ones on my arm and like one on my face below my right eye and theres one underneath my boob i think lmao tmi and the rest i cant be bothered to find

35. MARK(S): a kind of burnt scar mark on my left shoulder from like 6/7 years ago when i got too close to someone smoking and their cigarette burnt me oh and a scar on my knee from the time i fell off my bike while playing bike catching in the neighbourhood with a couple of other friends like 4 years ago?

36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: vet (now im eh about that tho im probably just going to pursue some art career)

37. HAIR COLOR: brown eyy

38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: long

39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: yeah. hopefully its dying down now especially since the person is straight (its hard when she sits next to you in class and you guys are sort of friends now and u somehow feel really satisfied when you make her laugh :,) shit )

40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: im generally kind with people regardless of whether or not i dont like them or i dont know them well or i know them i guess? (at least in my group of friends im probably the most willing to socialise with others) and uhhhh i guess i can make people laugh? im a huge fucking loser meme nyall

41. PIERCINGS: none and personally dont really want to

42. BLOODTYPE: shit i think it was either a B or an O i cant remember (i think its B tho)

43. NICKNAME(S): maggie, migi, bela, bob, bobbo

44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single pringle

45. ZODIAC: virgo

46. PRONOUNS: she/her (lmao yay for repeated question)

47. FAVORITE TV SHOW: fuckngin,,, voltron,,, (probably going to stay my favourite for a long while tho)

48. TATTOOS: none atm (unless you count waterbase tattos then yes stick all the water based tattos on me) but like when im Much Older maybe? just a really small tattoo tho not anything big that covers an entire limb

49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right

50. SURGERY: had a surgery on my foot forgot which side when i was in kindergarten because the skin was *censored for tmi* and yah stitching up your skin fucking hurt babes

51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: nahhh i dont think id dye my hair tho who knows

52. SPORT: im probably going to retake up basketball again eyes emoji eyes emoji

53. VACATION: ooMMF nothing planned so far

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: like uhhh what kind of sneakers?? just normal canvas sneakers i guess????? im, what.

MORE GENERAL

55. EATING: OXYGEn

56. DRINKING: IN OXYGEN

57. I’M ABOUT TO: complete this fucking 88 questions then chat on discord and scroll tumblr and tell myself “hey finish up your art!” but then 5 hours later im still scrolling tumblr. oh and im watching wonder woman later so :3c

58. WAITING FOR: nothing atm i guess?

59. WANT: my family’s financial situation to be solved and so that money isnt going to be a huge bother anymore...

60. GET MARRIED: sounds nice but probably only marriage idk the idea of kids doesnt really sound v appealing atm

61. CAREER: artist! (i wanna either work in a game development team or an animation studio eyes emoji )

62. HUGS OR KISSES: HUGS

63. LIPS OR EYES: lips erally nice to draw really nice to look at

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: buhhh im short so i guess taller would be nice (tall people have such nice legs too im frankly a little jealous)

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: what is this in regards to

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: arms so that dO YOU SEE THESE GUNS

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: shrug emoji idk man

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: troublemaker pardnyars in crime amirite

HAVE YOUR EVER:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: no

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: nope

72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: yeah p sure i had to go through a whole day of school half blind once without my glasses

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: nah..

74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: nO IM 1 3

75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: dont think so?

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: nah babes

77. BEEN ARRESTED: nah

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: somehow when someone dies i decide to laugh instead of breaking down in tears i guess laugh away the pain?

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: ...shit its a bad idea babes dont do it

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. YOURSELF: shrug emoji

81. MIRACLES: sometimes? sometimes no?

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: even bigger shrug emoji

83. SANTA CLAUS: nah lmao listen i caught my father and mother wheeling in bicycles for my sister and i when i was like what 8? usually i just played along because hey i was a child

84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: ehh depends i guess

85. ANGELS: not really lmao

OTHER

86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): Emily, Mae Shuen and Lily

87. EYECOLOR: dark brown?

88. FAVORITE MOVIE: this changes all the time

only tagging uhhh @pluminkdot (KASJD I FORGOT IF YOU HAD A MAIN REBLOG ACC IM SORRY RACH), @jaspereffect , @blabrabs / @spaceboomerang (it isnt letting me tag ur main boomers skldfjksd) and uh im too lazy for the rest

#raedy to talk shit #mattie #mothable #w e eps #this took fucking forever babes #LONG POST

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photonconductor · 7 years

Text

i dont have an ao3 but shout out to my homeboys

once upon there was a gay on th e moon bc of a really lovng alternate au idea where elc turened BAD and klaus had a 1000 year nap and it'd take too long to fucking explain this so just roll with it ok. this gay--its elcrest btw hes also a Bad Boy now; he rly likes hot topic and thinks those t shirts with sarcastic sayings are actually rly funny but we all know they aren't--was feleing emo bc he couldn't see his bf xen o bc he betrayed him. so he stayed in his room whining abt how fgay he was until eve showed up

"hey whats wrong elc mother is here for u" even tho shes like 5000 years old and looks like shes 2 and also a rock (but im not rockist guys i promise). elc looked at her with his optics shining in the pale argentate light. good thing hes the seme here bc otherwise he'd start crying. in reality he rly wanted to fucking bone xeno bc obviously they had a lot of gay sex b4 they tried to kkill his mom once nad staring at rocks all day kinda sucks.

a;so burnign alive but hes kind of over that phase.

"im sad my bf left me for 1000 years can i pls go back to earth my raging hard on can't be satisfied bc rocks. my dicks not a jack hammer even tho im jacking it all the time (thats what guys do right bitch i dont know)" eve was so offended she put her hands on her giant rock self thats not just herself. its rly fucking complicated shut up u came here for the gay sex not instructibles on how physical forms manifest.

"we dont say ROCKS in this household young man!!!!"

"ＢＵＴＭＯＯＯＭＭＭＭＭ sorry i forgot to turn off my seme voice lemme adjust my mic it happens when my dick is hard" elcrest coughed twice "ok sounds good, BUT MOM I RLY NEED TO NUT. YOU KNOW NUT I'M SAYING... ITS ALL OR NUTTING BUT MOSTLY NUTTING IN XENO'S SWEET HOT BUNS"

"stop talking abt nuts u disgusting boy fine, god, if u leave me alone u gaylord"

and then eve punched him so hard in the dick that elcrest landed on earth in a giatn crater. how hes still alive is bc he still had some continues left like in mario even though this is a srpg game. once elc recovered he struck a pose and laughed evilly while twirling his mustache.

"finally...... I have RETURNED for xeno's hot man breasts! the world cannot stop me now!!" he cackly cackkled and quickly ripped off the fake mustache he put on just for this one scene. then elc went on a quest to find where klaus was and bc the author is too lazy to write any tansitional scenes.

elc found him chilling in his bed reading a book that was called Sweets and You: Do sweets make u inherantly Gay? elcrest made the PFFT noise. ofc they make u gay, fuckiing idiot book. he could write better than that author. in fact, elcrest was gonna do that when he got home bc obviously if this trash is published any shit elc wrote would be good.

NO! he had to focus! but he couldnt stop staring at xenos man boobs and felt his dick get hard again. elc got a nose bleed too bc thats what happens in anime right. i played persona 4 i know what im about

"damn u xeno." elc said thru his nosebleed and klaus looked up bc the author cant fucking rmemeber who is klaus and who is xeno and was surprised i remmebred his name but could not remember remember the 5th of novemember

"what"

"XENO IT IS I" since h e was caught red handed he just kickflipped through the window anyway. he did a sick flip then stood in the middle of klauses room. klaus made a gay gaspp

"alto! what are u doing hre!?" klaus said, bc in this AU that was his codename. elc wanted to be currently doing that but eve said no. fuck his mom. except please dont bc i know you sick fucks are thinking abt it.

"I HAVE COME TO BRING YOU BACK TO THE GAY SIDE, XENO WE HAVE COOKIES. bc i really miss that bammin slammin bootilicious sex we used 2 have and you are in fact bammin slammin bootilicious. also have u heard the word and gospel of our savior mother" elc said gayly

"dude no please stop preaching in my house im a changed man now" xeno pirouetted out of bed

"cmon man im ur seme u cant refuse we made like a yaoi blood oath u cant go back on ur word" elc pushed him back on thebed bc he'd have his ass yet anyway so no real use getting up. bc what is consent anyway hes Bad

"o shit really huh" klaus paused in thougt and bad elc laughed evilly. his plan was working!! all he had 2 do was the final touches! i mean besides touching xenos dick or whatever we're not yet. sorry u have to suffer for ten more paragraphs for sweat boy on boy. elc then turned around an produced a kitty keyboard from the recesses of his coat tails. xeno made the :O face and elc sat down bc playing while standing rly fuckin g sucks

"i wrote this for u on the moon so you'll be hypnotized by my sick beats" then he pulled the mic out of the keyboard and made a sick beatbox noise. No i dont know what the fuck it sounds like just google it. klaus blushued and made another gay gasp and elc made the >:3 face

then be started to play the piano keyboard. he was playing cruel angel thesis, their theme song that they had decided at 1am while xeno was drunk af. it was their theme song despite none of them speaking fucking japanese but they just felt it in their SOULS. it was rly gay. elc was going so fucking hARD that his hard on was getting 40 hard ons. and thats four tens the hard ons. and its rad.

except the ebst part was it was all in meows so it spoke 2 klaus' furry soul.

klaus nyaed softly in surprise and suddenly all his memories of being xneo were restored!!! he gave into the desire that he craved in his soul and opened his big man arms bc for some reaon everyone thinks dudes are thirsty af. dont ask me why

"elc1!1 pls take me!! but be gentle my ass hasnt been ravaged in 1000 years (sick reference to hilda and altos magical wedding night by sorunort like, comment, subscribe for more sick referneces like this one)" xeno mewled like afucking furry and elc nodded once. xeno walked up to elc an touched his man boob sensually even tho xeno is like 60 feet taller than elc just imagine it ok

elc now has sunglasses just bc i think its a funny image

"xeno...... lets do it" elc said softly

"o h elc senpai......." xeno meowed

"and i'll keep my sunglasses on bc i hate the sun #moonlifeforever" and xeno gayzed into his emotion shields sensuallyier. then elc kissed him passionately and their tongues battled for dominance but we all know klaus is a fucking bottom bitch as stated in hilda and altos magical wedding night by sorunort paragraph 17 and 18 bc it was a dialogue.

then elc ripped off his clothes bc hes fucking JACKED and jACKED OFF and xeno gay gasped forlike the third time in this fic. elc was fuckign shredded. legends told of his abs but this time it was real. almost like the fact that shaved ice flavors dont actually exists the syrup is just food coloring. his dong dangled in the breeze and xeno was turned tf on so he took off his clothes too bc hes not a god damn animal god whats wrong with u elc.

except elc didnt take off the sunglasses like he promised so those were still on dont worry readers i got you covered.

"get on ur knees dude and give me a wet willy but like on my dick" elc demanded

"wtf no"

"dude u cant say no its a smutfic"

"ok yeah i guess i kinda do like sucking dick or somethign"

"PREPARE TO EAT YOUR LAST DICK, XENO" elc cackcled and then xeno succed his dick like no tomorrow. elc practically creamed right there bc he couldnt get his rocks off on the moon for 1000 years (hahaha no im not gonna stop makign rock jokes). also xeno has no gagreflex bc he succed dick like a thousand times. once that was over elc just punched his dick in xenos hot cross buns and xeno meowed again

"why are u still a furry after 1000 years" elc asked but continued to Ravage The Promised Ass

"do u nyat like it erucu-kun???" xeno purred and elc shook his head

"no ur still banging its ok"

NUT THEN (i wanted to write but but i typoed and decided to keep it its funnier this way) xenos ass started 2 glow with a new holy light

"WHAT tHE FUCK" elc yelled

"my ass was actually the only way we could turn u good again! the more u fuck me the gooder u are!" and elc gasped gayily! no! his plan was working against him! he could alredy feel the goodness (haha get it bc fucking is hot i guess) turning him good! he had 2 pull out but found he couldnt. xeno was just too bammin slammin bootlicious

"HOW DARE YOU TRICK, I, ELCREST THE CONDICKTOR" he roared and xeno was tuned on again bc roaring is prolly a furry thign im not a furry im sorry

"it was for ur own good elc bc i love you!" xeno dokied so hard there were shoujo sparkles and even elc got shoujo sparkles. his azure optics glew like stella glow and u could almost see constellations in them. except there were sunglasses so u couldnt actually see it but the reader can. xneo was right. he was his tru love..... not the Mother..... his mom was lame anyway all she did was talk to rocks

"xeno.............." elc said wiwstfully before bangin xeno harder. their bangin was so intense everyone could hear it in the kngihts barraks. it was so loud that even ana in her coma woke up for like a second to be like The Gays are At It Again. soon enough the banging was sucessful. elc glew in a beautiful magical girl ligtht and he was become good again. xeno shed a single tear but licked it away

"im cured! xeno ur ass did it! plus that was hot" elc smiled and im pretty sure xeno cried bc look at that man. hes so beautiful. please take the $2 from my purse. they embraced in a gay way. it was cute and xeno did a thumbs up and ana's face appeared at 20% opacity in the bg and she was also winking

"elc i am so glad u are back and i love u" then they made out. for a rly long time too bc theyre so fucking GAY good lord how could stella glow keep this under wraps. then they decidd they had to punch eve in the rock bc she was a dickw hile elc was being emo and stuff. BUT FIRST, xeno got porked lke 80 more times b4 then bc 1000 years does a lot do u.

the end remember to like, comment, subscribe for more fics like this one, seeya

#choo choo motherfucker #im sorry

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appleschloss · 7 years

Text

HAPPY 10K MANDY

My friend, @princesscas just hit 10k followers recently and I’m soooo proud of her and I wanted to make something but I didn’t even know what to make.

And then this came to mind. SO.

Just for you, to celebrate, here are some random and semi-crack headcanon/AUs!

(all Destiel mind you)

(this is kinda long so under the cut)

-Furry AU!

Where Cas is a fuckin adorable ass, famous Fursona who goes to tons of cons and no one knows who he is and Dean went to like a Comic Con deal with Sam (this is like normal verse so no demons) and Cas is there and he’s like, intrigued, never seen a furry before. For some reason (insert reason here) Sam knows of him, cause maybe Sam’s gone to like anime cons and gaming cons with Jess and Dean ends up like idk. END GOAL = they date and Dean is Cas’s handler and Cas always acts hella cute around dean.

-Cat!AU

They’re cats. All of them. Nothing changes beside that everyone is cats.

-Check, Please!AU

**Dean = Jack

**Sam = Shitty (they are separated at birth - JUST DONT QUESTION IT)

**Bobby = Coach Murray (or other Coach)

**John = Bad Bob (badass best hockey player ever)

**Mary - Alicia (obvi - probs played women’s hockey before. Badass actress/model)

**Cas - Bitty (how fuckin cute am i right)

**Jess/Jody - Lardo (either go with Shardo ship or like more personality based????)

**Kevin - Ransom

**Charlier - Holster (we’re ignoring genders here. Also bros for life)

**Crowley - Dex (cause he’s usually kinda high strung)

**Gabe - Nursey (cause he’s chill) (also he and Crowley would totes fight)

**Chuck - John Johnson

**Garth - Chowder

**Benny - Tater

**Michael - Kent Parson

**Luci - Fry Guy

((I warned you that some of these were crack. I ACTUALLY LIKE HAD TO REARRANGE THAT THO))

-Transformers AU

Dean and Sam are like Sam Witwicky (maybe they’re twins. Or they just, alter the plot of the 2007 movie to two people) and Cas is Bumblebee and Bobby is Optimus Prime aaand Crowley is Megatron and Gabe is Jazz (cause Jazz dies xD) Chuck is the AllSpark ummmm Ruby is Bone Crusher and Lillith is Star Scream aaand Garth is Ratchet and ummm Samuel Campbell is Iron Hide

Idek

(is it bad that I didn’t have to look up any of those? like the Transformer characters)

-Twilight!AU

Cas is Bella. Dean is Edward. Idek about the rest. Bobby is probably Carlisle. Who would Jacob be? Maybe Crowley?

-Craigslist!Modelling Job AU

Dean is at a party with Charlie and Benny and a few other friends and they play Truth or Dare (”Guys, this is college. Why are we playing this?” - Kevin “Because it’s fun! Or are you just chicken?” -Charlie)

Dean gets dared to accept one random ad on craigslist. Charlie takes him to a random page.

This is the ad that catches his eye.

“Need a model. class project. i can’t pay much but i can get you pizza and drinks.”

Cas is the photographer. It actually is for a class project. Cas doesnt act flustered but he’s totally blushing during the shoot. Dean gives him his number. You know what happens next.

-Stripper!Dean!AU

Cas goes to Gabe’s bachelor party and Dean is a stripper and gives Cas a lap dance and Cas was like so against coming to here cause he’s a Good Boy™ but he gets so like turned on and hot damn Dean is sexy.

Dean slips Cas his number and they go on a cute coffee date and Cas just like isn’t sure how to act because “I’ve seen you naked already?? And you totally knew I had a boner?? What are we??”

-GTAV!AU

Cas is Michael. Dean is Trevor.

Bam. Best AU.

-YouTube!AU

Cas is a cute ass blogger who does random collabs and travelling videos and occasionally does silly cooking stuff. His fans love him because of how genuine and like happy and smiley and just a really sweet guy. Does lots of charity work. His best friend Charlie is on sometimes, and his brother Gabe is in sometimes too when he comes for visits he loves to hop into the background and be like “YOU BETTER KEEP THIS IN THE FINAL CUT.”

Dean wanted to record him rebuilding Baby from the ground up one time and Sam edited it and made it more like a timelapse and told him he should put it on YouTube, so he did, for shits and giggles, and people really liked it. So now he does timelapses of him deconstructing and cleaning/reconstructing guns. As well as cars and other mechanical work. He’s done a few tutorials and Q&A’s. He also has a second channel, that he didn’t tell him main channel about, where he posts videos of him playing the guitar and singing covers of his favorite songs. (He keeps his face out of them).

Cas and Dean probably meet at a VidCon and become good friends.

They start dating and don’t ever announce it, but the fandom ships it so hard because of how cute/flirty they were at the con. They start noticing that Cas is wearing what appear to be Dean’s shirts, and some fans are in denial, and they ask both questions but they always just shrug it off.

Until one time, Dean wanders into one of Cas’s vlogs in only flannel pajama pants, holding two mugs of coffee, and hands one to Cas, gives him a kiss on the cheek with a husky. “Morning sunshine.”

They start posting cute ass couple pictures after it and its just so cute.

-Olympic!AU

Dean is either a marksmen or a martial artist. I can’t decide. Gabe is a sports photographer and Cas is a professional ice skater and he follows Gabe to one of Dean’s things and they end up talking after cause Gabe is at his interview after (he won gold obvi) and Dean was like “I liked your routine.” and Cas is like “You know me???” and Dean says Sam always loved the ice sports and because of Sam he took a liking to ice skating and he skates sometimes but he thinks its really cool. (Sam is olympic volleyball player as a side note.) but they exchange numbers and hang out more and watch Sam play and its hella cute and they kiss.

-Singer!AU

Cas is a famous singer and Gabe is his quirky brother. Anna is his manager. Dean and Sam get hired as bodyguards. Dean and Cas hit it off and try *not* to date but they totally do.

Also Sabriel.

They have to hire new bodyguards. Anna hates them. (not really, but she’s like “For real guys??”)

Jody gets hired. She’s badass. Charlie is Dean’s best friend and dying cause he is dating Cas, who she loves. Also Kevin is Sam’s and like is also jealous.

Bobby’s their adopted Dad.

-Post!Apocalypse!Vampire!Weird!AU

(long ass name ik but this is a random fuckin idea i thought of years ago and will never do anything with so i’m going to do my best to explain it here and share it with you)

SO. Heaven and Hell went to war, the world got *wasted*. A lot of angels fell and so did demons and their powers have been like diminished. The world is a wasteland and divided into segments and the demons kind of run the place and segments. The angels hide.

Dean and Sam are reincarnated. There is minimal food in this world and because of things and whatever, everyone drinks blood of various degrees to stay alive. Like they dont need much, but they need it. (If you’re rich, you have a lot of blood. It does make you stronger, but you can be fine with minimal).

Blood is also a currency. Animal blood is included in this, but its worth less than human blood.

So. Dean and Sam lost their parents early on, and Dean has always been caring for/fending for Sam. He gets caught stealing books, which are like rare as fuck but he hated that no one was reading them and he felt they were being wasted. (He was going to return them. He was a quick reader. He didn’t think they’d even miss them)

Anyways. Sam goes to jail. The price to free him (cause either he’s a repeat offender or the demon is like Alistair/another demon who recognizes their souls and ups the price cause they can) is like 4/5 liters of blood. Human blood. Sam tells Dean not to pay for it, he’ll be fine, but Dean pays with his own blood of course (cause thats how the whole human blood thing works. Rich people can pay in other people that they own but like you pay in your own blood normally).

Dean is like hella weak after this and tells Sam he’s fine. He takes a day off of work but his arm (where he cut himself) gets infected and like he gets really pale and collapses a few days later.

Sam packs up all of their stuff and takes them to a miracle healer he’d heard about through the rumor mill.

Surprise. It’s Cas. And Gabe is with him.

Cas freaks out, cause they thought Sam and Dean were dead. Gabe stops Cas from telling him, tho, and like they heal Dean and Dean gets like a frickin flashback while he’s unconscious and being healed of like his previous life.

Also they have a horse named Impala. It was their fathers and its like the only thing they really own besides their tiny shack.

At some point, they get their memories back. They become friends with Gabe and Cas and like, maybe find some of the other fallen angels, and potentially even Crowley and like, do something? That’s all though.

------------------

That was more than I thought it’d be. And some of them actually got serious lol.

ANYWAYS.

I know it’s not a lot but I hope they made you smile and just, congrats Mandy! Happy 10k!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

#princesscas #congrats mandy #congrats on 10k followers #my writing #destiel #random thoughts #headcanons #idek #do ya'll even remember things being called crack #brings me back to my ff.net days #best

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christoperpzdomiziasc98insu-blog · 5 years

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insurance bmw 5 series

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :INSURECOMPAREQUOTES.US

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insurance bmw 5 series

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insurance bmw 5 series

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worldofsurvivortibet-blog · 7 years

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EPISODE 1 (Part 1) - “I'll be sharpening my knife just in case” - Eddie

JULIA RAE

im gay

TRYSTEN

The Cheshire Cat is back again

ELENA

Ok it is only like 15 minutes into the game so I don't have anything to say but I love you Jay! So I am making a confessional <3

EDDIE

Im y'all putting me on a tribe with Jaiden who I have not talked to for months and who is in general probably the messiest org player you will find on the planet. I'm in vermont right now in at an inn with shitty service so I'm definitely ready to be booted out of this thing pretty quickly. But I'll be sharpening my knife just in case I can somehow make it a swap.

DARIAN

This season I'm going to write actually decent confessionals. At least I hope! This tribe is pretty lit and the people are so nice! I obviously haven't had a lot of time to get to know everyone but I cant wait! I really think this is going to be a great season!

JAIDEN

I'm actually pretty content with the tribe I got placed on, because I only know Eddie. I could probably use that to my advantage but I don't know if he likes me so... good luck to me. I like playing in games where I know very few people but I am definitely a little worried about Keyonjay being on the other tribe because he will probably go out before I ever swap onto the same tribe as him, and that lowkey sucks. I'm also SUPER concerned about Ting Ting because I hear she's a huge threat and she and Seamus are like, dating IRL or something so hmm. Gonna keep that on my radar.

DANI

Five minutes in and I already hate my tribe, there isn't really anyone I can put my trust in, we better not lose the first immunity challenge, I'm not leaving first again...

CHRISSA

um I hope i am okay in this game idk these people too well and I just hope i can stay a while I fucking hate not knowing the cast before but whatever can i just say I love Jay and that is all.

CARSON

Our tribe is really talkative... which is horrible for me bc im not asdfghjkl. Oh well we have a lot of comp beasts on out tribe so we should be good.

ACE

I've never done this in a game before but let me do a little cast assessment. First let's start with my tribe, Namtso! Jared and I have a lil history in games where I always always always get him out somehow someway. Who knows if he'll trust me! I LOVE KENDALL, nuff said. I have no idea who all the others are but I hope I can make friends with them and have them not vote me off n stuff. In Kailash, I already have Carson added but idk them that well. I love Chrissa and I hope we both make merge or swap on a tribe together and be besties. Dani can go! I love Elena I hope we can acc work together earlier this time than I did in Pompeii. I'm not sure about Seb, he literally just evicted me as hoh in another game rofl. Everyone else idk but I hate that I know more ppl on this tribe than my own tribe. I guess I gotta get talking huh? The last tribe with the unreadable buff has Matt and Trysten. Matt's my fellow furry and Trysten is also semi-furry so I hope they can survive. As for Jaiden, FUCK him I hope he gets out before I even have to deal with his ass. And again idk everyone else.

JAIDEN

Two confessionals in one night? Not surprising. I was really excited to have a non-messy tribe but for some reason, I'm put with two fellow normal people and four confirmed freaks. I don't even know who Johnny is yet but he's literally looped in with those weirdos until further notice. Let's do a quick cast assessment of my tribe, which I forgot its name already because ? flops only. EDDIE - Y'all really did this to me, huh? Eddie hasn't spoken to me since BEFORE October because that's the furthest our chat history even goes. It's me sending messages and him not responding and it's literally the most disappointing thing ever because now I have to work with him in order to exterminate the furries and dildo freaks of this tribe. He's a nice guy and I will only allow him to stick around premerge because he is also a huge threat and a bigger backstabber than I am. JAIDEN - flop JOHNNY - He is not here yet but I think he'll be cool to talk to later on I guess, because we're the same age but he seems more "put together" and like he has legitimate goals in his life. But he's also a college student so I don't expect him to be around much, so I just want to work with him until there is no more need for him if he truly is an inactive person. JULIA - Honestly? She's fucking annoying already lmao SORRY IF UR READING THIS but she talks about dildos and getting fucked in the ass by furries and it's just like... calm down. It's day one and she's already said about 500 things and it's 500 things too much. Definitely bottom of the tribe so far lmao. MATT - He IS loud and cocky and I think he's going to try really really hard to be the Tyson-esque villain this season, so he's also my least favorite because he is not going to be genuine or good at this game. He could go. TING TING - She's sweet so far but she's really hard to talk to because her answers are so short and they can end a conversation in a second. I feel like she's the only person I like at the moment and that sucks so much because damn, she's not easy to talk to. I'm hoping that we have to go to tribal council first though and pump some of those strategic juices into the tribe because I feel like she'll open right up if that's the case. TRYSTEN - Okay I immediately want him to be first boot because he's the most annoying but in subtle ways. He's like "SOMEONE ALREADY THINKS IM AN ALT" and like well, maybe because you're so adamant that you aren't??? Like shut up. And he's saying that Dani is his sister or something in his cast intro and literally no one cares, but you're just a freak thats putting a huge target on their back for no reason. Anyways...enjoy being the only person to get 21st place in this series :o FLOP! So yeah, there's my cast assessment for this tribe. Hopefully I can fall into an alliance and not get first boot from this horrific tribe, but it could probably be worse on the other side. Wish me luck, and tell the VL to suck my left nut! xoxo

KEYONJAY

I really like my tribe a lot. I have a really good feeling about Nicholas, that he could be a strong ally down the road. Kendall is hilarious, I'm vibing with her pretty well. I've had a short conversation with Amanda. Ace is a fucking amazing artist, and newlyf is cool even though I don't even know their real first name and they haven't messaged me back lol. I like everybody so far and I'm making a conscious effort to get to know everybody unlike in my other games where I would wait for people to come to me. Maybe it's the power of the meesh avatar, but I really hope my social game is better this time around. Y'all wrong for making this the first challenge tho @hosts.

MATT

So I just wanna make a SHORT rant on how I feel about my tribemates. Eddie: Eddie my fellow Gorlley. You're cool and I hope we do get to work together moving forward here. Jaiden: Bruh, you're funny and you also seem cool af. Let's pray my opinion on you doesn't change Johnny: Why u no active? Julia: I really feel like you might become one of my best friends here. You're really cool to talk to Matt: You sexy monster you. *winks* Ting Ting: Just like Julia, you really might become one of my best friends here. Trysten: Stop lying about being an angel, I can see right into your soul.

KEYONJAY

So I really wasn't gonna do the day one alliance thing, but Kendall proposed we go into an alliance and ofc I'm gonna say yes. haha. I do actually like her a lot so that's good. She pulled in Ace, and I wanted to pull in Nicholas because I feel like me and him gel pretty well. Hopefully people see Kendall as the figurehead because my whole strategy was to fly UTR but things change like that in this game. Basically, I just wanna make friends with everybody so I'm not the target regardless, do well in the challenges, and not overthink things like I usually do.

ACE

I'm talking to Ally in PC and I swear I'm getting Mega vibes from her. I swear if Ally is Mega....

KENDALL

Hello. It's me. I've been wondering after all these years, if you'd like to me. To go over everything.... Yeah that's all I know, I mean sure I could look up the lyrics on Google but I am far too lazy. No wait I also know HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE It has been ten billion years since my last confessional/game, which may seem mathematically impossible because I've only played survivor for one year but shut up because this is my confessional... bitch. Any who, I am back with two percent more evil and one percent more effectiveness. No longer will I be a drifter, just sort of hanging back and waiting for anyone to pick me up and drag me along, I will be the leader!!!!!!!! Despite having about zero charisma and even less interpersonal skills. But my mommy says I am special so there. Anyway I have made an alliance with people. Ew gross I know. But it has to be done. I've made a group of people who were speficially selected because of their incompetence in some areas. Ace the Squabit: I've played with Ace in Pompeii, we aligned for a short period of time before Drew voted him out. He is incredibly intelligent but he isn't particularly social. Creating a bond with him shouldn't be too difficult because of this fact. Keyonjay Dixon: Aside from having a bitchin' name, Keyonjay has one of the rare characteristics of getting my sense of humor. He isn't very connected to the community so I don't have to worry about any pregame alliances he may have made. In a previous game, he stated to have "played for someone else," time will tell if he will repeat this mistake. And last but not least we have, Nicholas: I don't know him very well and I don't have as much control over him as I do the others. Which frightens me... but I think we get along just fine. I've recommended Survivor seasons to him because he hasn't seen the show so maybe that will bring a bond of some sort. As for the other tribe members, Amanda seems pretty chill and Newlyf is fucking hilarious. I'd like to avoid getting them out if I can. Jared on the other hand... I don't particularly care. He is so boring and has terrible spelling, two of the worst qualities. He called me a psycho in a PM to Ace, which is mildly amusing because I don't think he knows how far it really goes. He doesn't trust Ace, he doesn't like me, he was barely on for the first half of the game. Jared serves no use to me or anyone in my cult... sorry alliance lol auto correct. Anyway I will update when I get more information but until then... HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

DANI

I really wanna trust these people, but I really cant. I literally have one ally and it's already almost day 2. Well, one ally is better than none I guess. I just really wanna win immunity. I'm not taking the risk of going to tribal council.

EDDIE

Basically Ting Ting is a queen and I'm planning on making her my Sam of this game and I've pretty much let her know that. Although idk if she finds it sketchy that after once hour I said that but I honestly don't have as much time as a thought as I would so I need to leech myself to a strategically gifted iconic queen that will carry me through the beginning stages of the game into the merge. I honestly haven't decided if I'm going to stay loyal to Ting or not. But if I do vote her out it wouldn't be until the final 5 which is about the time that I probably should've cut Sam in bangladesh but I didn't cause I'm an emotionally human being. By that time though I'll probably have become way too close with Ting to cut her and I will probably make the same mistake I did in Bangladesh which is not taking out the clear jury threat and the person who will obviously win the game at the end. But that won't matter to me as long as I get to have fun bathing in the blood from all the other people who's demise I will cause. I'm going to busy these first rounds of the game but once things slow down and I settle into my city life I should be able to really get into it. I don't need other people knowing that though. Right now I'm just gonna play the sort of active, sort of inactive number for who ever is running the tribe (which will probably be ting which is why I decided to leech myself onto her). I believe Jaiden will try to run the tribe but he and I mean... he can think he is. But I will make sure Ting Ting knows all about his ruthless gameplay and the erratic and messy way he plays. She can do all the work rope in the numbers and I'll just be her little yes man. Whatever gets me to the swap tbh. Either way, I want to keep Jaiden on the outs while making him believe he's the leader. If I have it my he will be first boot, but if not I will coddle him and make him feel like I'm close with him right until I put the knife in his back which I'm hoping will he sooner rather than later, especially on a tribe with such small numbers. Idk how well that will work but it's worth a shot. I also have been talking to Roxy a bit and also matt. Im gonna go to them tomorrow on my drive home from vermont and be like "hey guys!!! Im a busy man!!!! Sorry couldn't talk to you last night!!!! And then talk to them all the way on the ride home and build up some type of bond or whatever.... Jaiden not being around tomorrow should make it even worse on him? Either way, I'm going to do a faceplant into Ting Tings ass. I have no shame in kissing someones ass just to get myself further in this game. That's what this is all about amiright? I'm honestly ready to be first boot, but if I'm not this should be fun.

ACE

I should be scared of the Pokemon Camp Community but I'm not really. Its true they are a force and nobody could stand against them if they are all together but I doubt half of them would make merge. Kendall and I are already planning on taking out Jared if we ever lose cuz he said he doesnt trust me and called Kendall a psycho (which is true in a good way~) Dani and Trysten might seem like a threat to others in tribe stage due to Trystan's bio I guess? I dunno. As for Seb idk why yall casted him cuz he's probably most likely 75% chance going to strike out and be removed anyway so nobody should worry about him.

DARIAN

So. It's been a day and someone has already asked to work with me. #Dani. I dont know where this is going to go i know I'm not committing myself to anything this drastic on day one. I guess it's nice to know I have one option! Dani seems really nice! So who knows

DANI

If we don't win this fucking reward challenge I will be PISSED, I busted my ass in that stupid ass unicorn game and pretended to enjoy that shit so other people would do it.

KENDALL

https://youtu.be/v5O6_rA0VFc

MATT

Honestly, I feel like I did good on this first challenge. I still trying to figure out who on my tribe would be the best for me to make an alliance with. In a sense, I am somewhat apprehensive because of Lazio and its endless tribe swaps....eh, time to snoop around.

KENDALL

OH MY FUCKING GOD I HAVE THAT STUPID SONG FROM ROBOT UNICORN ATTACK STUCK IN MY HEAD. ~ALWAYS I WANT TO BE WITH YOU MAKE BELIEVE WITH YOU AND LIVE IN HARMONY HARMONY, OH LOVE~ SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CURSE YOU JAY, SEAMUS, AND CARSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#wostibet #confessionals

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