#i do feel these results may be a bit biased too bc it seems there was a lower amount of voters than last pre elections so hmmm
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looks like people forgot we were supposed to vote the lesser evil these pre-elections 🔫
#elias.txt#not many official preliminar results yet tho so ...#i do feel these results may be a bit biased too bc it seems there was a lower amount of voters than last pre elections so hmmm#theres still hope. i guess
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Ahhh I’m happy to see someone else loving The Devil Judge - it truly is amazing 😭😭🖤✨ I love Yo-Han and Ga-on’s relationship I swear let them be destructive together!
I hate waiting for new episodes so please tell me one of your theories, it can be about anything! 🥰
Right?! I love it so much, it's really good to have our lilttle fam getting bigger, can't wait until it airs on Netflix, we will have even more people going crazy about it in here! (at least I hope it will become a Netflix series after the show ends like Beyon Evil - another love of mine) and yes, lawful husbands can be destructive together but only to the bad people pls 🥺
It's tough waiting for new episodes every weekend and at the same time I wish for it not to end so soon. It hasn't finished but I already want Jisung and Jinyoung in a second season or working together in another drama. Their chemistry on screen is too good to stop there
About the theories, there's a few I saw on reddit/twitter and I make my own based on it and after watching every episode, but I think it's too early to talk about them. However, since you requested it, there's some that come to mind as interesting enough to mention.
The fire and the story behind it narrated by Yohan
1- Some people think Yohan did start the fire because he found out about the dirty politicians real intentions and decided to destroy them all in the same place before Isaac could donate the money bc he is "a devil" and capable of that since he was a kid as told by the priest with the school incident and the nanny with the maid and dog thing. side note: not for pranking some kids who bullied him because that's all it seems like, right? But in terms of observing, thinking strategically and being one step ahead when needing to punish the whole classroom who wronged him even as young as he was and feeling satisfied while watching the result and staying out of it. A type of mentality probably encouraged by Isaac and the books he gave him to read, unlike a regular kid who would just fight back or endure it. And we still have to see if it really was Yohan that contributed to the maid's death or if it was something/someone else and the nanny thinks it was him.
They think that Elijah even saw him in front of the door right before the fire started and smiled at him instead of smiling at her parents, like she did in the gates of the cathedral in the previous scene, so that's why she hates him so much now because she can remember seeing him as the responsible for it. But Yohan didn't intend to kill/hurt Isaac and the rest of the family, thinking he could save them or something, and felt guilty that he couldn't do so. Some even said that Yohan delayed too much in trying to save them after entering the church and seeing Elijah getting her legs hurt, that it may have been shock but why would he remember everything and everyone so clearly if he was in shock?
It's a good theory but I have my own remarks: why wouldn't he tell Isaac about the politicians himself if he knew the dirty about them then? They had a close relationship and Isaac gave him books about punishment and everything, it wasn't like Isaac was too naive and wouldn't believe his half-brother. He wouldn't have donated if Yohan told him. "Oh he was being the devil and finding a way to punish them instead of just letting is slide and not donating" still, Yohan wouldn't risk Isaac and Elijah with such a dangerous plan if he could avoid having Isaac and Elijah at all in the destruction scene by telling Isaac about it. It could have been shock and Yohan wanting to look and commit to mind everyone's face in that day responsible for hurting his niece and not caring about anyone else but themselves, pushing him away and delaying his attempt to get to them in time, leaving Isaac and the family behind (after they almost donated them their money) and things like that. So he can avenge them now, like he did in the school with the kids. That's why as soon as he could, he canceled the donation in the most easy way by saying his brother wasn't sane enough to make that decision before dying.
There's also the theories about Isaac being the insane/evil one, which wouldn't surprise me because I've considered it since episode 3 but at the same time I'll not be touching that topic now and I don't know if I ever will unless proven otherwise in some other episode
2- The other theory I have and saw people discussing (the one I'm most inclined to believe because I'm Yohan biased but again it's too soon to be sure) is that the story Yohan narrated is mostly if not completely true and he experiences extreme guilt for not coming back and saving Isaac when the church collapsed on him, as seen in the character introduction by tvN translated in this tweet that we now know it's about Isaac:
The last words Yohan said to Isaac was that he was going to come back for him, so he experiences nightmares like the flashbacks we saw in episode 1 and that's why we don't see any scene of Isaac in the middle of the church after the fire staring at Yohan or during the fire and turning to stare directly at Yohan when he narrates it. Because they're dreams and his guilty conscience and he remembers them when looking at Gaon. The flashback of Yohan kneeling down and touching Isaac with Elijah's bear close to him could be after he got Elijah out from there and he went back to put the bear next to him kinda like a "Sorry for not coming back in time", a reassurance that his daughter for whom he died for is safe and will always stay with him, a "Goodbye". He wouldn't just let Isaac's body lying there, he would go back even if it was too late.
Another thing is that when Yohan is showing Gaon his scar after telling the story, there's a book fallen at his feet. I think it was the thing that fell when Yohan standed up from the table and choked Gaon (trying hard not to comment on that choking scene as a 🔥 Gahan moment for our delight and imagination bc that's not the point right now lol)
This is the book:
And the first page of this book says "Never again will a single story be told as though it's the only one." - John Berger
I searched about it and it can mean that never again will a story be told as if it's the only one that matters. It could also mean that never again will a story be so encompassing of the elements it tackles that no other story need be written about these elements. A story has many perspectives that cannot be understood by just a single viewpoint. Isn't that what this kdrama is all about?
One of the translations of what Yohan said after Gaon left was:
But there's also another version:
The meaning of what he said changes a bit depending on which translation is more accurate, more so when we add the book quote to the equation.
Kim Gaon and his connection to Kang Yohan
People think Gaon could be Isaac's relative in some way or just a look alike (I think it's just a look alike to contribute to Yohan's obsession/curiosity and their proximity from the start, that's why no one really comments on it, not even Gaon when he sees Isaac's picture). Dear God, let them not be related because it would make shipping our lawful husbands really strange, to say the least.
What I'd like to say and almost everyone is forgetting is that in the tvN character introduction we already have Gaon's past and know he wasn't always a goody two shoes, the man was a juvenile delinquent and can even fight (the rebellious phase he said he made the tattoo in episode 3?). He too sought revenge for his parents when he was 16 because they committed suicide after losing their money and being deceived by multi-level con artists posing as social service workers. But the teacher and Soohyun were able to hold him back.
Yohan's father could be one of the reasons for their death. He was a loan shark and might have lend them money after they lost it all and it caused them to have a great debt, that's why Yohan did a thorough research on Gaon and was interested in him (not only because he resembled his half-brother). They shared one enemy in common and maybe even a place (churches, Yohan's father tended to confess his sins in a church when his debtors killed themselves). Or Yohan might have researched about him at the time he knew Gaon was chosen to be the associate judge sitting on his left side instead of way before, because it's important to Yohan to know who he is dealing with and the dirty of their past if they have any. And then Yohan discovered everything and saw his picture and resemblance to Isaac.
The thing is: they have the same distrust/repulsion of powerful people who deceive the world and had a painful loss because of that. Both of them think they have the other exactly where they want but they get more confused about what it is that they really want from the other and get closer (as said in the summary of episode 5 that tvN released) while figuring it out. They will come to an understanding and probably join forces at some point. We saw it in the end of episode 4, the scene of episode 5 when Gaon says he can understand Yohan's pain but can't trust him if he doesn't tell him everything and then Yohan says Gaon needs to decide if he will get in his way or stay by his side. Gaon might go back to his rebellious days and stay with Yohan to seek revenge together while distancing himself from Soohyun and Jungho who prevented him from doing so
And that's about it! Thank you for your ask and hope my answer is satisfying enough! 💙 The hardest but also most awesome part is having to wait to see.
#the devil judge#answered asks#the devil judge theories#lawful husbands#gahan#analysis#the devil judge analysis
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Long ass post about the Eternal family not being a copy-paste from ATLA (aka I like the memes but my god can you please stop)
Because some people truly think that Vaylin is off-brand Azula, Arcann is Zuko and so on.
It's. Called. A. Trope. (I mean how often do we come across abusive manipulative fathers in media? Mothers who couldn't much to change anything? Children, desperately looking for their parent's approval no matter what?)
Of course, you have to consider the fact that the writing of ATLA is simply better than of KotFE/ET, so this might have been one of the reasons why people say that.
Spoilers for Avatar: The Last Airbender, Knights of the Fallen Empire and Knights of the Eternal Throne expansions!
Okay, so here's my unprofessional, maybe biased, not super deep take.
(not going to mention that all of them are members of royal, ruling family, kinda obvious)
What roles do they play in their stories? Well, both Valkorion and Ozai are main antagonists, but their presence throughout the story is very different. Ozai is rarely shown in first two seasons, we don't even see his face until season 3. He doesn't have a direct connection to the protagonist, they only meet at the very end of the show, and Ozai's role is to pose a threat to the world, while Aang's is to save it. Valkorion, on the other hand, is constantly on the screen, interacting with the main character, challenging their viewpoint and influencing them directly. His end goal is similar to Ozai's (destroy everything and be the only ruler of the his nation), but with one major difference - he's trapped in Outlander's mind, so to achieve his goal Valkorion attempts to take control of the main character. Their interactions play important role in the story, and we spend a lot of time with Valkorion.
In addition to that, their relationship with children are also not exactly the same. It seems like Azula is Ozai's favorite and Zuko is a failure in his eyes until he meets his expectations, and the same goes with Vaylin, Arcann and Valkorion, right? Well, partially. Indeed, Valkorion and Ozai's treat their sons in similar ways (are disappointed in them until they meet their expectation by doing something that goes against their morals), but when it comes to Vaylin and Azula, it's not that easy. See, Valkorion claims that Vaylin was always his favorite creation (even though we know it's actually his empire), and he certainly seems to take pride in her potential in the Force. But her power is the very reason he's afraid of his own daughter, and in this fear Valkorion literally locks Vaylin away and allows to put her through physical and mental torture just to make sure she won't become a threat, won't overpower him. Maybe he thought of her better than of Arcann, but she wasn't his favored child for sure. I don't want to say that Azula hasn't experienced abuse from Ozai, but for the most part he clearly favored her over Zuko. He has never shown fear of Azula's power and abilities (or at least I haven't noticed), quite the opposite - allowed her to do a lot, as long as she brings results.
I could also mention their slightly different characterization (mostly that we get more characterization of Valkorion, get to learn his motivations, views, philosophy and all that, also he's portrayed as more nuanced, even if he not really is) and role in their respective governments (ozai is one of many Fire Lords and arguably not the greatest, while Valkorion is a god to citizens of Zakuul, their only Immortal Emperor), but those are details, and I think you get the point.
What's similar: role of the main antagonist, manipulative and abusive father, goal of destruction of everything that isn't their nation/empire, relationship with disgraced son.
What's different: presence in the overall narrative, relationship with the main character, relationship with daughter, role in their societies.
Senya and Ursa are even less similar. Yes, they both are mothers who love their children, but have to leave them, but these are probably the only things they have in common. Just as with Ozai and Valkorion's presence throughout the story, Ursa is only shown in flashbacks (for obvious reasons), and Senya is one of major characters in KotFE and (a bit less major) in KotET. Ursa leaves because she has to kill Azulon in order to save Zuko, and later isn't present in the story (I'm aware that her fate is told in comics, but we aren't talking about it). Senya leaves because when she tries to take children with her, they refuse, and she understands that she can't force them to, nor she can help them to break free from Valkorion's manipulations. For a long time she's absent from Arcann ad Vaylin's lives, but at the time of game events she attempts to save her children and stop the madness and destruction they've caused, and it isn't a small part of the story.
I also want to add that their relationship with Ozai and Valkorion are also different, but can't say much about Ursa. I heard that she didn't choose this marriage and suffered emotional (and maybe physical???) abuse from Ozai. I can say with confidence, though, that Senya genuinely loved Valkorion, and strangely enough, he seems to at very least respect her. But, of course, this wasn't the best marriage either.
Plus, we see more of Senya's relationship with Vaylin than Arcann or Thexan, but with Ursa we see her more with Zuko than Azula. Just a detail to remember.
(also Senya is simply a better character but that besides the point, moving on. in this house we stand Senya)
What's similar: role of loving and caring mother, abandoning their family at some point.
What's different: presence in the overall narrative, relationship with husband, characterization in general.
Boy, where do I even begin. Vaylin and Azula are similar in that they are both extremely powerful (one is firebending prodigy, the other is potentially stronger than Valkorion), both are cruel "craaaaazy" (i hate that cliché), both are younger sisters, have serious mother issues (seemingly more so than father issues), both go through betrayal of people they could always rely on, which eventually leads to their downfall. But when I took a look at their personal arcs, it became clear that they aren't the same (unfortunately, Vaylin's arc is very rushed and underdeveloped, but we'll have to go with what we have and my personal view, sorry).
There's a really good video about writing corruption and madness, and I'm going to base my thoughts on it. To summarise it: a good corruption arc should have 4 components:
- the character has a specific goal (or a goal and subgoals);
- in pursuit of said goal they become the cause of a significant event that brings serious consequences;
- as the result of these consequences, character abandons their morals, ideals or a code in pursuit of goal;
- character either will not achieve their goal or will succeed, but it won't be enough to satisfy them.
And then the author brings Azula's arc as one of the best examples of compelling story of corruption (so basically, she represents it perfectly). In short, Azula's main goals are perfection and control, and subgoals help achieve the main ones. In pursuit of these goals, Azula causes Mai and Ty Lee to betray her (by pushing them too far to do something they wouldn't do), which then causes her to become paranoid, which makes her to attempt controlling everything and everyone around her, *breathes* which makes her lose control over herself and ....
Now, I thought if Vaylin's arc could fit into a corruption one, and next part will be based a lot on my assumptions and personal view of her character (plus rushed writing doesn't help), but I think yes (or at least mostly). The difference is in goals, ideals and details.
While the story strongly makes us think that Vaylin's goal is freedom (or control over her life and everything around her) or power and destruction, I think it's actually self-determination (which was said by Tenebrae in 6.2) and feeling safe. Let me explain (and here I thought this would be a short comparison). Sure, when Valkorion caged Vaylin on Nathema, he took choices and control over her life from his daughter. But let's not forget whom Vaylin blames for this (even more than Valkorion): her own mother, and I think this details tell us that the most important thing that Vaylin lost on Nathema is feeling safe. Then, after Arcann brought her home, I assume Vaylin still didn't feel safe enough under Valkorion's rule, still too afraid that he'd simply send her back to that hellish place.
It's when Valkorion is struck down Vaylin finally has a feeling of personal safety, even if she isn't the one on the throne. Why? Because back on Nathema there were two people who haven't turned on her - Arcann and Thexan (yes, this is also a huge assumption, bc the game states that only Thexan visited her, but it doesn't make much sense).
I've always noticed (and I'm not alone in this) that her behavior in Fallen Empire is different from the way she acted in Eternal Throne. Most likely bc of rushed writing, but I see a character driven reason here. In first of these expansions, Vaylin is the second person in power on Zakuul, and with Arcann being in charge, person she can trust more than any other living being, she feels safe - she can test her power, and now Valkorion won't prevent it, she can do pretty much everything she wishes, and the most Arcann will do about this is mildly complain (without blaming her). Really would be nice if we got to see any normal hobbies of Vaylin (like wasn't there something about books or art?), but I digress. She might have some questions about Arcann's tactics, but they get along just fine. The important thing to note is Vaylin not seeking to hunt the Outlander personally, to rule or conquer the rest of the galaxy, or trying to achieve absolute freedom or power. She's kinda there.
This, however, changes when Arcann doesn't allow Vaylin to kill Senya. Their relationship was getting somewhat worse towards the end of KotFE, but this is a turning event Vaylin caused by attempting to strike her mother. By saving the person Vaylin blames for all the trauma from sending her to Nathema, Arcann threatened her feeling of safety. And now Vaylin starts to believing that to achieve safety she now needs to kill people who hurt her (that's why she's so determined to find Senya and Arcann), take the throne and hunt down Outlander (she was manipulated by SCORPIO to these subgoals).
(The following is the weakest, I'll admit, but I hope I can at least express what I see). So, in trying to achieve goals she didn't want before Vaylin loses in self-determination, being either driven by overwhelming anger or manipulated by others (SCORPIO or Commander on Odessen), desperately trying to accomplish anything, or even goes against her morals (like by erasing GEMINI's free will protocols, when earlier she agreed that freedom to choose is important; or breaking the deal on Odessen). All of these result in her downfall.
But even this isn't the end. The key difference between arcs of Azula Vaylin lies in it's resolution, or that Vaylin have a chance to overcome corruption in the main narrative (and Azula doesn't. again, not including comics here, sorry). After death, Vaylin is again controlled by Valkorion in Outlander's mind. First time physically (she can't resist it), second time mentally. This is where Vaylin has to choose - kill brother who betrayed her and Commander who killed her, or go against Valkorion, person responsible for almost all of her pain and trauma. She has t choose by herself, and I think it's a good start.
Now, before 6.2 we all thought Vaylin was dead for good, but that story update hinted at possibility of her coming back to life. What I like to think is that now that she dealt with people responsible for her trauma (helped defeat Valkorion and actually for once listened to Senya), Vaylin can now have a different life, finding herself with support of someone she doesn't hold a grudge against and who treats her well (Satele, I mean).
I'm so sorry for going into details, but I needed this long explanation to present the point (and I suck at explanations). As said before, this is my version of her arc, and most likely wrong interpretation, but even with personal freedom of choice, Vaylin character differs from Azula a lot.
Need I mention that Vaylin relationship with Arcann and Valkorion are drastically different from those between Azula, Zuko and Ozai?
(Also a little detail - with royal family of Fire Nation, Azula is the golden child, while with Tiralls it's actually Thexan, not Vaylin).
What's similar: role of extremely powerful, emotionally damaged daughter with little to no regard towards others, close people betraying them, resulting in their downfall.
What's different: characterization, role in the narrative, relationship with father and brother.
Arcann and Zuko is the most difficult part, but I still believe that calling Arcann just a cheap copy of Zuko is incorrect.
So, they fall into role of less successful son, always getting disapproval from father, being in shadow of more talented sibling, both obsessed with capturing the main character but ending up helping them end the war after going through a redemption arc with help of caring family member. Even both have scars on left side of face. Yeah, seems similar. I still think they are different characters.
Let's start with their relationships with family. In Valkorion section I said that his attitude towards Arcann is similar to that of Ozai towards Zuko, so not going to spend too much time here. However, there's slight difference - Zuko didn't kill his father even he had a perfect opportunity (bc it wasn't his goal), Arcann did (bc it was one of his goals), which says something about their characterizations.
Zuko and Ursa were shown to have a good mother-son relationship, and it played a role in Zuko's character. With Arcann and Senya, we don't really know (not much was shown in expansions). We know Arcann didn't hate his mother, but possibly didn't have warm memories of her either. The reason is most likely, like Senya said, her children wanted nothing to do with her (which is a bit untrue about Vaylin, but okay) and leaned more towards Valkorion. We need to remember that on Zakuul Valkorion isn't just one of many great leaders, he's the greatest, and seen as a god by most citizens, so safe to assume the same would apply to his children as well.
Zuko and Azula's siblingship (i'm out of words) is a bit similar to Arcann and Vaylin's in way of brother knowing that his sister isn't good, but still caring about them (even if not showing). At least it's what I saw. What's different is how Azula treats Zuko, compared to how Vaylin treats Arcann. I think Azula showed compassion or concern for Zuko maybe twice, but I'm not entirely convinced that it was 100% sincere. Vaylin, on the other hand, seems to trust and care about Arcann (with bits of sass and questioning his life choices), and switching to complete opposite after him saving Senya. Also, I don't she ever called Arcann a failure in their father's eyes.
Now I want to say that their roles in stories aren't the same either. Sure, both are introduced to us as antagonists, but in reality, Zuko was never a true antagonist (we get to learn this somewhere mid-season 1), when Arcann remains the main antagonist for whole of KotFE. Zuko didn't start a war and didn't participate in conquest of other nations too much, his main goal was to capture the Avatar so to restore his honor (and deserve his father's forgiveness). Honestly, I think it's safe to say the Zuko is one of two main protagonists of ATLA. Why does Arcann want to capture the Outlander? Solely because his father's spirit still lives inside this person's mind, and the best solution to keep Valkorion away from the galaxy is not letting the Outlander free (hence the carbonite freezing). And Arcann doesn't want or need Valkorion's forgiveness when he attempts to kill him (or kills him, depending on your choice. anyway, his action directly leads to Valkorion's "death"). And right after that he becomes a ruler of Zakuul and begins the conquest of Republic, Sith Empire and everything he can reach (the reasoning behind this is still unclear to me though; maybe because he was raised with ruling Zakuul in mind and he didn't anything else, idk). Point is, he's responsible for war and main's character imprisonment, which makes him the main antagonist of KotFE. They have it the opposite ways - Zuko starts as disgraced prince, supported by a little group of people, and in the end he's recognized and appreciated by his nation, and Arcann starts as respected by his empire, later becoming less and less loved, until some groups start rebelling his rule, and in the end he doesn't get to rule Zakuul again.
This leads me to their morals. See, Zuko didn't have the worst morals in Fire Nation, even more, he expressed care for loyals soldiers of his nation before getting punished by Ozai. During first season (and about a half of second one) his views on other nations are what he was taught before. However, these views are challenged by travelling in Earth Kingdom, witnessing people suffering from war Fire Nation started and hating its people (you already know all of this), and with this he comes through final stage of redemption when he's back home. Unfortunately, Arcann doesn't go through this, and he's shown to be more ruthless.
Alright, when it comes to their redemption arcs, well let's say they are different (both in quality and the way they go through it), I'm just a bit tired of long explanations at this point. Zuko's arc is one of the best ever put on television, and Arcann's... well, it definitely has potential, but is criminally underdeveloped (there are other people who will explain it better than I ever could).
What's similar: role of disgraced son, living in shadow of their sibling, serious injuries on the left side of face (though with different meanings), obsession with capturing the main character, having a redemption arc.
What's different: role in the narrative, role in their society, characterization, relationship with sister and mother, different end goals (before redemption), paths to redemption.
#ah. ofc it didn't show in the tag bc of the youtube link. ofc. gonna be down bc of this)#hey look at me rambling about something only maybe 2 people take seriously#also i noticed that parental characters are better in swtor and children characters are better in atla. do what you want with this#it's 3:30 am i should be sleeping but here instead writing this#(forgive if i have some spelling mistakes. brain shutting down but i won't be at peace if i don't post it right now)#okay so if you have thoughts on this... you really don't have to waste time on this#i really only wrote this because i was annoyed by some peeps on reddit claiming vaylin is off-brand with a straight face#(and then posted this on tumblr bc i don't want to suffer those people on reddit)#what am i doing with my time#(not gonna tag atla bc it's not really about it)#swtor#arcann#vaylin#valkorion#senya tirall#kotfe#kotet#pauletta's babbling#pls send help#(or oc aks to give me some free serotonin but no obligations ofc)
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Why would Loki believe what Mobius tells or shows him? Frigga's death-film could be faked, Loki's responsibility for it might false, saying he always fails and causes death etc. ... where's the proof? Yes, the segments were selected to manipulate his emotions and align him with the TVA, and there's self-loathing, but he's also supposed to be smart and familiar with how lies work. Maybe he's playing along to escape and do what every Loki who ever existed and created a variant did: what he wants.
[please blacklist spoiler tags: #loki tv series spoilers, #loki series spoilers, #loki spoilers]
Well, here's the thing.
(under the cut for spoilers + length)
Objectively, I agree with you - that is, I fully recognize and agree with the characterization of Loki being intelligent and also manipulative (and therefore more than familiar with the art of lying), and I agree that it would be really, really hard to manipulate Loki without him realizing what you're doing and figuring out how to counter it and manipulate you in return (and you won't figure it out as quickly).
However. I don't think Loki is impossible to manipulate, or that his intelligence and innate capacity to lie (often and well) mean that he's immune to falling prey to someone else's schemes, when those schemes are rooted in/relying on all of the rawest vulnerabilities that Loki, as a person, possesses.
Loki's tragic flaw (or one of them, in my opinion) is that his emotions can and often do get the better of him because they are the result of how thoroughly and bone-deeply he hates himself. In Thor 2011, for example, Loki's initial plan evolves from trying to delay Thor's coronation into trying to simultaneously destroy Asgard's greatest enemy (and, presumably, destroy the monster within himself) and trying to prove his worth as a prince and a son to Odin. Were his plan to succeed, the only thing he would ultimately gain is validation that he has equal value to Thor. (Certainly he knows that Odin will wake up and Thor will eventually return; like, there are no long-term goals for keeping the throne here.)
Point being, everything he's orchestrating becomes motivated by emotion over logic and, ultimately, he doesn't really lose so much as he gives up because Odin rejects his plan - and, therefore, rejects Loki - and it hurts him so badly that he attempts to kill himself. He literally can't live with the pain it causes him.
So, I mean, we already know that Loki is deeply emotional and immensely insecure. We know that he's felt inferior and out of place his entire life, only to have those feelings validated by the revelation of his being Jotun and the rejection of his effort to prove himself as worthy as Thor.
We also know that a literally suicidal Loki ended up going through an extremely traumatic experience with Thanos and, furthermore, he has now failed pretty majorly in "taking over" Earth. Loki's in bad mental shape and, I mean, there's his proof right there that Mobius is right and that he always fails and causes death. He failed in Thor 2011 (and caused death). He failed in Avengers (and caused death). He believes himself to be worthless, deserving of rejection; he is emotionally unstable and has untapped reservoirs of pain under the surface.
He is, in other words, in an absolutely ideal place to be manipulated by Mobius. He doesn't seem to believe what Mobius tells or shows him at first - asking where Frigga is being kept, not believing the events that haven't happened to him yet, arguing back against every point Mobius makes, etc. But, as the scene wears on, you can tell he's becoming less and less sure that it's a falsity and more and more uncomfortable and upset because Mobius is unrelentingly digging at everything Loki's ever feared about himself.
That's the state Loki's in when Mobius selectively shows him the most painful scenes from his future.
Not to diagnose Loki, bc I am not qualified to do so, but to project a little bit - as an emotionally unstable person myself, who has struggled with mental health for as long as I can remember, I can very easily see how Loki would believe Mobius at that point.
It's like, imagine that you have all of these fears about yourself and they color the lens through which you view the world. I mean, Loki's experiences have definitely contributed to his poor self worth, and his family and culture have fucked him up - no imagined slights here - but when you hate yourself enough, it can alter how you perceive every little thing.
You may blame yourself a little harder for things that aren't your fault. You may too quickly assume that someone else thinks the worst of you when they may not think anything in particular about you at all. You may feel completely and utterly alone and hopeless about that ever changing because why would anyone want ever want to love someone as worthless as you?
Now imagine you've done some really bad things and, deep down, you feel guilty about them. You didn't enjoy doing them, but you did enjoy how powerful they made you feel, and that makes you a bad person, too. You weren't even wanted as a baby, for fuck's sake; you were literally abandoned for no discernable reason besides possibly being a runt, aka being born wrong.
These are all things you feel, and then here comes this person who is showing you events that have happened that he shouldn't know about, he's telling you information about yourself that he shouldn't have, he's showing you that he's got the resources to figure you and your life out and then he tells you to your face - while showing you even more failure and death in your future - oh hey, everything that you fear and everything that you feel? Yeah, that's all valid. You are irredeemable. You are responsible for death and destruction. You are unwanted, both by your family and by existence itself. You're only here so that others can have someone to stand on while they climb to the top. You killed your own mother because you're so selfish and vengeful! God, how do you even live with yourself, you destructive waste of space?
I mean, again, call me biased and paint me as projecting my mental illnesses on Loki but if it were me, no amount of intelligence or experience with lies would be enough to not believe every single word Mobius said about me (and about the situation).
It's certainly possible that Loki is playing along to escape; I mean, we know that he does eventually escape, though whether he gets captured again or not remains to be seen. But I think that, at the conclusion of the episode, Loki has just been broken down enough by everything he went through that day (it was a really rough day for Loki) that he's like, yknow what, just - okay, fine, tell me what I have to do bc I'm all outta options here.
(Actually, to be completely honest, I think there's both going on - Loki is resigned to being stuck with the TVA but also he probably recognizes that, at some point, he's going to get the opportunity to escape and might as well play nice until it comes along.)
So, yeah - I completely buy how that scene went down in regards to Loki believing Mobius.
#thank you for the ask!#asks#charlotte replies#loki tv series spoilers#loki series spoilers#loki spoilers#loki pokey artichokey#i will never be over loki#mobius dick#tw mental health#tw suicide attempt mention#tw suicidal ideation#tw depression#tw gaslighting#tw psychological abuse
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I hope the rmd mc for kasumi is a bit different cuz she rly be hittin on my last nerve and I don’t think she would rly v✨i✨b✨e with kasumi in her current given state
i’ve decided i need to play matsunaga and cc before getting a better sense of the eicu guys but honestly some of these recent asks feel like my own brain jumped out of my head and started sending me anon asks lmao bc i totally agree. anyway i know it’s a controversial opinion to not like the rmd mc and i’m TRYING to be fair and put aside my bias against her and try to analyse what exactly it is that i don’t like, but yeah i just don’t really find that she has romantic chemistry with the characters (that i’ve read, i.e. takado and hosho). not that anyone ever asked for this, buuuuuut this ask has basically triggered yet another mc rant so stop reading here or get ready and settle down with some popcorn lmao.
DISCLAIMER: this is all just my personal opinion! and i’m sure many of you will disagree with me. please place a “i think/believe/feel” before every claim i make as everything i say here is just my own feeling towards her. i also need to disclaim that i have only properly read takado and hosho’s routes (bc i’m still...mad at sen’s route, and i’ve only made it through one chapter of matsunaga so far) and i understand (and fully subscribe to) the idea that mcs read differently depending on the route as well. and as always, please don’t let my opinions affect your own enjoyment of any characters or titles that you love!
ALSO as i was writing this, i went back and read my previous rant about her and i realised that i’m more or less reiterating the same points i made there but in a (hopefully) more structured and slightly more developed manner whoops.
so here’s almost 3000 words and a whole bunch of screenshots under the cut because i don’t want to spam everyone’s dashboards with my unprompted Opinions(tm).
so anyway i’ve been thinking it’s a translation/tone thing. when i have the time/energy, i might sit down and really try to analyse the actual language, but just going off my intuition, i think maybe it’s because:
1. sometimes they choose to express something idiomatically and so that tone doesn’t come across as sincere. this isn’t a real example, but let’s think about the difference in tone between “oh no!” and “yikes”. because of modern day vernacular, we kind of associate “yikes” with a sarcastic and judgmental tone, whereas “oh no!” might connote a more genuinely concerned reaction. so sometimes i think that the use of very contemporary vernacular (which, lbr, trends towards a more sarcastic tone in general bc us gen z kids are mean) results in a lack of sincerity which makes the mc come across as a little more callous and less... actually kind and nice? i did get the feeling that hlitf mc has recently swayed towards this sort of tone as well and suspected that they had the same translator (which was confirmed later in a voltage Q&A). i’m definitely #biased but i can forgive this more because we had a good amount of content with her being adorable before the tone switch so i have a pre-established impression of her in my mind.
by the way, i just want to say that while i do have this critique, i do really admire and respect the voltage translation and localisation team (and am... super indebted to them) and i do think they do fantastic translations generally.
anyway, i believe this linguistic issue is at least partially responsible for my personal perception of the rmd mc’s personality that i expand on in the succeeding points, but my next point has more to do with the writing and characterisation of the most recent wave of mcs.
2. rmd mc has very few visible vulnerabilities. i think this is one of my biggest qualms with the new title mcs like rmd, destind and mk but i think stories are at their best when you get to see the mc fail and be vulnerable and wallow. the reason why i love certain mcs - particularly the ones whose titles and storylines centre around their careers (hlitf, irresistible mistakes, my last first kiss, scandal, celebrity darling, kiss of revenge, sleepless, otbs, arguably msb, etc.) - is because we get to see them fail and then grow. not only that, but you often get to see the relationship between the mc and the love interest deepen in these moments. but if you have a ‘perfect’ mc, then there’s no room for growth, so plotlines are forced to fall back on drama and trauma on the love interest’s side which... is exactly what rmd and mk do.
this is not to say that rmd mc doesn’t make mistakes, because she certainly does, but i don’t find that they’re ever genuinely serious mistakes. for example, think about hlitf mc’s repeated mistake in season 1 of going after small crimes without seeing the bigger picture and thus potentially messing up an entire investigation. they allow her that space to mess up and be completely wrong for public safety. then they give her the time to be self-reflective and run away back to nagano really think about what her mistakes are, and where to go from there. she is confronted with humbling failure, and is forced to address issues about her own pride/ego, and matures into someone who has a more nuanced idea about justice. on the other hand, rmd mc never has to (consistently, afaik) go through a genuinely humbling experience, so she her pride/ego/arrogance never gets seriously called into question. maybe this is because the premise of rmd has to do with life and death and they don’t want to make it seem like she’s directly responsible for someone’s death, but hlitf also deals with life and death issues and the mc learns that if she messes up to save one civilian, she may actually be jeopardising the lives of tens or hundreds or more.
anyway, taking takado’s route as an example, because this was our exposure to her as a character, the most frustrating thing is the way that she tries to lecture takado that he’s wrong about his attitude towards amputations, and never actually has to personally experience the potentially disastrous consequence of putting her ideology into practice. i think i would have enjoyed the route a lot more if she had gone over his head and naively made the decision not to do an amputation and then the person ended up dying or having to have a larger section amputated all because she was like uwu we can’t just cut off people’s limbs without waiting. i think if that situation had happened, we could have seen her actually have to confront her own naiveté and realise that she’s a noob and too idealistic and that reading a lot of medical journals does not translate to having actual field experience and intuition and who is she to question him like that when she knows nothing. she only realises that omg... we may have to consider some things with something called nuance... basically when more of takado’s backstory is revealed.
(maybe this is because i work in academia so it extra-frustrates me, but omg if i had to one-on-one mentor a student like her, i would genuinely go nuts. she reminds me of some students that some colleagues and i have had where they “well, actually” at everything you say bc they read some stuff on reddit or twitter that has absolutely not been proven through practical application of, or research conducted through the lens of, their theory. like imagine i told my advisors “despite being experts in [their respective fields] and having written numerous very important books, you’re wrong because i don’t agree but i have never myself conducted proper research to counter that!!”)
basically i wish they treated takado’s route like kaga’s routes (bc lbr takado and kaga are maybe... the same person?). look at the self-reflection here:
and here:
she does get down on herself at times, but look at the way that she humbly accepts her mistakes. sometimes she wallows on her mistakes, as anyone would, but look at the way she examines her failures and turns that feeling of inadequacy into motivation to work harder and smarter.
by the way, these screenshots are from his ms1 and ms2 - so pretty early on - and we get to see her learn from these mistakes because she’s allowed to make them. we also get to learn more about kaga’s strictness and his kindness because of these mistakes.
i don’t know if the whole refusal to allow rmd mc to make significant errors is a response to readers who are like “omg.... why are voltage mcs so weak, why can’t they be perfect women who never get anything wrong” but ANYWAY i just feel like they never confront or address her hubris properly.
3. following on from point 2, i find her one-dimensional. i’ve mentioned this before in a rant, but i don’t find her to be a very deep character bc to me, she reads as mostly surface level sass. i said: “her dialogue with them often reads as like they put 100 points in “snark” and 0 points in any other personality trait” lmao. so she’s great in one-off screenshots where you can see her bite back with a very screenshottable one-liner, but i find it tiring to have 30 chapters of her just literally running her mouth. because of this constant tone that they keep giving her, i find it really difficult to see any emotional depth in her character. because she’s the perspective character, her internal dialogue is just as, if not more, important as the love interest’s external dialogue in terms of carrying the emotional weight of falling in love, and i just don’t understand how there’s any sense of two people falling in love and getting to know each other when every sentence out of her mouth is just sass. can you imagine you meet someone and you get to know them but never have any genuine conversations bc every line out of your mouth is sarcastic? like your date is opening up and telling you about some difficulties he’s going through (which i’m sure you all know is a very vulnerable and scary thing to do) and instead of being empathetic and kind and understanding, you’re just like “sucks to be you dude”. and instead of saying “you don’t need to carry everything on your shoulders”, you say “you’re STUBBORN and i’m RIGHT”. OF COURSE i’m being kind of hyperbolic here (not even that much tho, see screenshots below) but that’s basically the tone she constantly takes.
so when takado opens up about the rina thing, instead of being like “oh shit i’ve been judging him all this time and i’m genuinely sorry because i didn’t know a thing about you and yet i’ve been running my mouth”, she says “your head is as hard as a rock ya know?” and then KEEPS GOING.
where’s the empathy sis? where is it? i’m looking but i can’t find it.
EVEN TAKADO WAS LIKE “I WAS TRYING TO TALK SERIOUSLY ABOUT IT”
and then the writers just push off her rudeness as like “it’s okay it’s chill!! takado laughed about it afterwards and it made the issue sound insignificant!!” even tho it’s obviously an extremely traumatic thing? WHY does he even fall in love with her??? i don’t UNDERSTAND alsdkfjs she has NO FEELINGS!! i just want genuinely romantic moments... is that too much to ask... it’s called romance md...
once again, let’s compare that to hlitf mc, when she finds out about kaga’s trauma. literally the FIRST reaction she has is to consider his feelings.
without even hearing his side of the story, she defends him because she trusts him and immediately empathises with him and the first thing she does is try to understand him and where he’s coming from.
later on, when she hears him just dismissing things and playing callous, she actually cries on his behalf, which shocks him because he’s not used to people caring about him:
isn’t that a MASSIVE difference in reaction to essentially the same character opening up about their trauma? which do you find more conducive to developing emotional intimacy? in my opinion, it’s so much easier to fall in love with someone who supports you and has your back and trusts and believes in you and tries to understand you and can have a genuinely caring conversation with you when you need it. by the way, it’s not like kaga’s mc doesn’t sass him either! they have great bantery chemistry and she shit-talks him ALL THE TIME (a lot of the time under her breath and he’s like HUH? it’s great).
and yet... we still actively see her caring about him... instead of being like WHOOPS my tongue slipped, i can’t help that i’m naturally insubordinate ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
by the way, i’m not trying to put the onus on female characters/heroines to be caring/empathetic/kind/loving. i’m putting the onus on ALL characters to be caring/empathetic/kind/loving in their own ways if we’re supposed to be convinced that they’re falling in romantic love. sure, kaga’s mc is exceptionally loving but kaga returns that love with his own ALL the time ;~~; anyway i’m gonna stop talking about them for now bc otherwise i would just completely derail and keep going on and on about them.
anyway, back to takado, i actually find him to be more caring and loving than his mc? i actually genuinely like takado as a character and i think that real life me and him would be great together so i’m like extra offended that he’s with her rather than ME??? i would treat him so much better.
i consider this lack of emotional depth to actually be a bigger hindrance on my enjoyment of the game than the lack of flaws thing. voltage’s recent wave of mcs with the love choice titles have been trending towards the ‘perfect woman’ type of mc, but while i have some Thoughts(tm) here and there about the other protagonists, none of them strike me as being as hard to get along with as rmd’s mc. so i’ve mentioned my issue with the masukisu mc’s weird moral boundaries (more an overall voltage issue that manifests the most strongly in her character), but i also do find that they don’t let her make big mistakes and they present her as this perfect superwoman figure with no weaknesses which like... unrelatable. but at least her banter is flirty banter and there’s a lot of chemistry there (even if it’s sometimes lacking emotional depth, as in some of kazuomi’s scenes - and that’s not her fault, that’s 100% on kazuomi lol). you can definitely understand why they’re attracted to each other at least, and you can definitely see real, deep love form between her and yuzuru the most. even though the masukisu mc is a ‘perfect woman’, the premise is designed to spark relationship conflict and the writing really helps us understand the emotional turmoil of falling in love with a target because of how much it lets the mc dwell on it. destind too basically has a perfect mc in terms of work/career, but they let her have her very glaring weaknesses and, once again, the premise forces her to address her shortcomings with regards to her idealistic view on soulmates/destiny and explores the head vs heart thing where she has to really examine her emotions and how they potentially come into conflict with her preconceptions of and preoccupation with numerical compatibility.
thinking about it objectively, i feel like takado’s mc and mlfk ayato’s mc have a couple of similarities in the way that they don’t realise they’re in love for the longest time (although obviously childhood friends to lovers provides a better context for not realising that love - same with my boi natsume), but there’s just something lovable about mlfk’s mc that i don’t see in rmd. without going too deeply into it bc (1) i’m tired and (2) i’ve been going on about this for WAY too long now, i think that comes back to tone or writing (and possibly translation) style. i think at some point, i might actually go and compare the language in the “omg am i in love...?” scenes between takado’s mc, ayato’s mc and natsume’s mc but uh... not tonight haha.
actually, at some point, i genuinely wondered if rmd mc was aromantic. i really just thought she did not experience romantic attraction because i literally got no sense of it through her internal monologue bc they kept pushing the whole like “i only relate to people’s ~aesthetics~” thing. and then i wondered how they were going to make an aromantic mc fall in romantic love...? because... it’s an otome game? (btw i’m not saying that aro people can’t enjoy otoge, i definitely know people who do! but there’s a big diff between someone playing an otoge vs someone being a character falling in romantic love in an otoge. but please call me out if i’m misunderstanding aromanticism!). anyway, long story short, rmd mc (takado’s especially) falling in love is absolutely unconvincing to me because i find her dialogue - both internal and external - rather unfeeling.
these three points (1. translation that favours colloquialism over communicating emotional tone; 2. characterisation of a hubristic mc who doesn’t need to overcome significant challenges; 3. lack of emotional depth and empathy/understanding) are basically why i don’t think that she has good romantic chemistry with the love interests in romance md that i’ve read so far. i also have some very petty personal gripes (sekai...........) but they’re not relevant to this particular topic and frankly just... really petty so i don’t want to get into them here.
so anyway, long story short: i agree that i don’t think she would really vibe with kasumi in her current given state. like, they could be friends, maybe.
#romance md: always on call#rmdaoc#munechika takado#i'm... afraid to tag this#but i must do it to keep my blog organised so i can come back and find this#her love in the force#hlitf#hyogo kaga#voltage inc#otome romance#love 365#love choice#snow writes#meta#snow rants#that should be a new tag#voltage mc
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Name: Luna
Nationality: Spanish
Languages: Spanish, English, Catalan
Writing Blog URL(s): @moonlightjeno
What fandom(s) do you write for? NCT Dream (ot7) and I want to start writing for Ateez. Though you may find a couple of BTS and NCT 127/WayV pieces but those tend to be spontaneous as I don’t feel as comfortable writing for them.
Star Sign: Leo
MBTI: INFP - T
Favorite color: Sunset
Favorite food: Pizza
Favorite movie: Avatar! Yes, the one with blue people.
Favorite ice cream flavor: Cookies n cream.
Favorite animal: Wolf and red tailed hawks.
Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? Neither.
Dream job: Vet for wildlife and endangered species at an animal sanctuary.
Go-to karaoke song: Have never been to a karaoke so not really sure.
If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? Shapeshifting so I could fly but also be able to breath underwater.
If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? Definitely the Cretaceous, I just love dinosaurs.
If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? Most definitely not, I believe that everything one does is meant and we just gotta adjust. So anything I might regret I learn from and everything I’ve experienced has shaped me in some way or form.
Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? As someone who works with chickens (they’re devils) I think a 100 chicken-sized horses because I love horses and they’re a lot more chill if given care. Chickens are crazy dude.
If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? I guess either the nerd or jock? I’m a mix of both.
Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? Most definitely! If we exist why can’t there be others?
You just won a ticket for a free vacation! Where are you going and why? Africa! In specific Kenya and Zimbabwe as they have some of the largest animal sanctuaries and I would love to both learn more about the culture and see all the animals to help as much as possible.
Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? When I’m writing a new fic I tend to have a playlist in the background and the mood of the fic tends to go in the direction of the music. And a couple of spontaneous dance sessions occur.
When did you post your first piece? Damn. I think the first official piece that made me want to start writing again was a Yuta timestamp? I wrote for a friend originally and then posted on May 12.
Who is your favorite person to write about? Lee Jeno. I’m definitely biased (as my masterlist can prove) but he’s just easy to write. I love writing other members but Jeno is always a sort of enigma that I can change but still apply the qualities that I just love about. Though I love writing about Cael (an oc from my novel).
Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? I tend to write a mix of fluff and angst (sometimes crack but im horrible at humour *sigh*). I’m someone who reads for character development, so i always feel like angst is a way to develop a character especially in longer fics and helps it just make it more poetic. One of my favorite things to write is the description of emotions so angst is always a great way to convey that but then fluff to show the change in the characters.
Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? I write member x reader, and try to make it as gender neutral as possible but at times it is easier to make it female x member as that’s just what I know best.
Why did you start writing on Tumblr? I’m not exactly sure. I’ve always loved writing and creating stories, I had been on a slump from my novel and wanted to do something more lighthearted (which my novel is not) so when my friend liked the little timestamp I wrote for her about yuta it gave me confidence to post it online. And now here we are.
What inspires you to write? Music! Honestly I could hear a song and think of a plot on the spot, music is one of the most beautiful and inspiring sources I think one can have. But also daily life experiences and dreams!!
What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? Idol verse is something I always love and adore! But also creating my own world is something that I’ve always found interesting as it allows me more creative direction!
What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? Honestly I’m a sucker for the classics, any best friends to lovers or E2L trope I will love. I wouldn’t say I can’t stand any tropes but either werewolf tropes (bc they tend to just focus on the smut or possessiveness without any character development) or like ceo/boss tropes I just don’t really care for.
What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? Music music music! There might be a pattern there. But if it’s a specific piece that I was already working on (like the current mark envy fic) I give it a couple of days and see if I can think of a way around whatever is blocking me. I also like to talk it out with my moots (bless them I love y’all) and read different fanfics/books because sometimes it’s just I’m not sure how to express the feeling correctly.
What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? My favorite work has got to be the Jeno 10 things + then some. I’d had the idea of writing something based off one of my favorite rom-coms 10 things I hate about you for a while and it was supposed to originally be a video edit. But I wasn’t sure how to go with that, and when I looked at the poem (after watching the movie again) it seemed as if my brain just clicked. I knew Jeno would have to be Patrick. It was just clear in my mind, and he was my ult so it was easiest to write. Thankfully everyone seemed to like it and it became my most successful fic too! After almost a month of writing and editing I was very happy with the result and the feedback blew me away.
What do you think makes a good story? When you feel something move. When you finish the story no matter who’s in it (whether bias or not in terms of fanfic) or an original character and you are now attached to the character. I think as long as the story is able to make you feel something, then it’s good. It’s done its purpose. Though seeing how characters change and develop are always a plus it isn’t always possible such as in short drabbles or timestamps.
What is your writing process like? Very very chaotic. Honestly my ideas tend to spring out of nowhere and be really clear or just be very hazy. I tend to have a bunch of ideas in my mind which I’ll write down (the general plot of) but I tend to only work on one draft at a time so I don’t mix the characters.
Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? I think there is some sort of difference, as fanfiction is the expanding of a persons personality. We grab what we think we know and what the celebrity or character has displayed and expand upon it in either our own universe or the world we already know. While original prose is more of a start from scratch on the characters flaws and qualities.
Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? Most definitely especially the series I am currently working on based of the seven deadly sins. Because I’m creating a completely new world I feel like I would be able to make into an own story but I would have to think about that in the future. I’m happy where i am right now
How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? Everything! I can’t stress this enough but getting reviews/feedback/constructive criticism is always so great and encouraging. It means that the reader felt something when reading the piece.
What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? I honestly couldn’t quite say. I guess the first that pops into my mind are my moots. They tend to always be there to reblog or hype up a new fic which I couldn’t be more thankful for, so a lot of it I owe to them as they had a larger fanbase than I did when I started.
Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? I can’t say I can, yet I am pretty new. If this is the case I would do my best to clear up the misunderstanding, especially because I feel writing (like many art forms) is interpreted differently by different people.
Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? Most definitely not. A lot of them know I write and that I enjoy writing but none of them know about the account.
What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? Thank you all sincerely from the bottom of my heart for supporting me, whether it’s a simple ask, or you screaming in the tags or us talking to each other. Any interaction and just support makes my day, and I hope I can continue to be able to make you happy with my work. As always, never doubt yourself, you are beautiful and more than enough.
Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? I'm sure this has been said before but honestly just do it. *cue nike ad* jokes aside if you like what you write, if you are proud or just want to express how you feel and share your craft then by all means I am 100% sure that someone else will enjoy it too. So don’t be afraid.
Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? Hmmm, not really. So far the community has been supportive at times it’s a little bit stressful but it’s good.
What do you hope your readers take away from your work? I don’t think my stories have a message message behind them, so that they get the feeling of the story. If I intended the story to move the reader someway or the other I hope that it can reach them in that way. But most importantly I write so that people can read and if it’s just for a minute that they can get away from the world and just live through the story.
Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? Most definitely. I love every single one of my moots, and the more people I talk to on here and become friends with, the more I am grateful but there are two people in particular who have been there from the start. Mylin (@starlit-jeno) she was my first moot on here and honestly the best introduction to the community I could have had. I absolutely adore her to bits and she’s always ready to help me with any idea I may be stuck on, and one of the just the chillest people. There’s not a day that goes by that I am not thankful for her friendship and everything she has done (esp the mutual freaking out about jeno and contemplating weird life questions such as 119 deserved a grammy at random times of the day). The second moot, honestly I’m surprised she hasn’t kicked me out because I love her so much is @mango-texts (my soulmate bro). She was the first to ever give me feedback on a piece and then answered a random post about me freaking about Jeno (it’s a daily occurrence). Like Mylin there isn’t a day where I am not grateful and just in awe for her friendship. She’s always there, no matter what it is she’ll be there and will never fail to make me smile. Her excitement at times is the reason why I am motivated to finish fics, and she gives great advice and ideas (her mind y’all). A lot of fics on my masterlist I feel like wouldn’t have been published if it weren’t for the two amazing individuals so I am forever thankful and just love em. Also @smolchenle who is always there too proofread and give feedback you are the sweetest thank you for dealing with my horrible grammar and chaotic ideas.
Do you think art can be a medium for change? In every way possible. As someone who isn’t the best with words (slightly ironic but oh well) when it comes advocating for anything art is such a powerful medium because it doesn't just reach one base. It can expand across all not only countries but also cultures. Art can be interpreted in so many different forms, but still when you listen to a song no matter if you speak the language or not you’ll get the *vibe* or message in ways the language of the world. It connects us and expands messages, I find that very powerful.
Ending thoughts: “It is in our youth that our heart’s are touched by fire, but it when we stop loving that the flame flickers out.”
BONUS: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL
Interested in your very own episode of The Sunny Show? Find out how to apply here.
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About Ugetsu, Akihiko and Haruki
Spoiler alert if you haven’t caught up to the latest chapter of Given so proceed with precaution
I’m frustrated with the relationships among these people.
First, Ugetsu and Akihiko. Their relationship just fucks me up. It’s so full of love and as we have seen, that love is mutual; although it seems one-sided af at some points. Ugetsu is such a beautifully written character (or I’m a little biased bc he looks like Oikawa in Haikyuu!! and I’m weak). I like his complexity, how passionate about music he is, how intensely he loves Akihiko that he got scared and is just running away from it, without communicating with Akihiko. And Akihiko, oh his love for Ugetsu is something that gives me goosebump. It hurts when I read his monologue because he just can’t give up on Ugetsu. Seriously, I can see why Ugetsu is scared, Akihiko’s love is so powerful that it may just devour everything that is Ugetsu; then there’ll be no more Ugetsu without Akihiko (but isn’t this a risk you always have to face when you’re in love?)
The first break-up between the two of them is so messy and incomplete, it leaves a real bad taste in my mouth, especially the relationship between them after that. They just kept hurting each other, one to push the other away, one to retaliate (I think it’s childish and stupid). Both of them are hurting so much but they don’t, can’t seem to face each other and after such a long time of not looking at each other in the face, I think they think it’s impossible for them to talk about it anymore. Personally, I see this as the downfall of their relationship, the no-talking thing, like many other relationships in fiction and in real life. Actually, Yuuki and Mafuyu’s relationship did result in that tragic end because of their miscommunication. (Urg, Natsuki-sensei why are you wrecking me like this)
Their second break-up also seems incomplete for me... I just feel like the relationship gt cut off, but there are still unsolved problems. I don’t think Akihiko understands the extend of love Ugetsu has for him. And Ugetsu seems to have some regret/lots of things that he hasn’t gotten to tell Akihiko. Some time far from each other hopefully will help them mature or at least think more properly about their relationship and accumulate enough courage to talk with each other one day. I actually think there are some chances of them getting back together if they actually talk. But I don’t know anymore, their love just hurts and maybe it’s better for them to not be a couple; being friends though, definitely. I seriously hope that Ugetsu will find someone who can truly understand him or who he can love without being scared, either it’d be music, Akihiko or someone else.
Second, Akihiko and Haruki. I need to say that Haruki’s my ultimate bias in Given so I’ll protect him with my life. This one-sided-turn-mutual (for now) love also makes me shed more tears than I’d like to admit, mostly because I just feel so much for Haruki’s one-sided love. The moment I read he’s been growing his hair since he first met Akihiko, I was like ‘this is it, my doom’ *insert that ah shit, here we go again meme* And in Haruki’s monologue, when he said music with the band has always been fun but it’s also been painful, I just want to treasure him so much. He’s been enduring this one-sided love alone and his long hair represents his hope that Akihiko would return his feelings, or at least, consider him as someone in Akihiko’s life. And damn it, Akihiko seems to know his feelings all this time but said and did nothing about it; which on one hand could be understandable because Haruki hadn’t said anything himself, but on the other hand, I think it’s a little bit cruel of Akihiko to let Haruki kept on hoping like that (but hey, I’m biased so, therefore, my opinion is irrelevant).
Then we came to that fateful night (I’ve reread this chapter too many times), the almost-sex and the “I’ll do anything for you”. Obviously, Akihiko’s hurting here and he’s acting on it, which is not such a good decision. But Haruki’s also hurting, equal to or even more than Akihiko. His “I’ll do anything for you” just breaks me into millions of pieces (which I’m still trying to stick back up together thank you very much) and for a second, I can see a glimpse of just how much Haruki’s willing to sacrifice for Akihiko. Honestly, I don’t know if this is good or not, to love someone so much you’ll do anything for them. Again, it’s similar to Yuuki and Mafuyu’s relationship in which in a way, Yuuki did die because Mafuyu asked/told him to. Haruki’s willing to give himself to Akihiko, willing to let himself be used by Akihiko as long as he’s someone in Akihiko’s eyes. But then, with Akihiko’s words, Haruki (thought that he) realized he isn’t anyone at all. So he left to, once again, suffer everything by himself; and even at this moment, he still cared about Akihiko that he let Akihiko stay at the house and gave him assurance that he wasn’t joining the other band. Then he just cried himself all night at who knows where (my poor baby). That night, Haruki came to the decision to give up on Akihiko, represents by his decision to cut his hair. I really love Haruki with his new short hair. He asked Take-chan to do this, tbh, at one point I thought that Take-chan would be a nice match for Haruki. Take-chan is such a supportive friend and seems to genuinely care for Haruki and I’m happy that he’s with Yayoi now; just hope that Take-chan and Yayoi will have a happy ending.
Now back to the point, obviously, you can’t just stop loving someone overnight, especially when you’ve been loving them for a long time so Haruki still has feelings for Akihiko, pointed out by Mafuyu. He’s weak enough that he still let Akihiko live with him (but Haruki’s stated as overall a nice person in his profile so I think there’s maybe a chance he would have done this to any other of his friends) and they started a cohabitant life. During this time, both learned more about the other and seemed to realize more things about themselves too. For real though, I think Haruki’s just digging a deeper hole for himself, hurting himself a lot more and preventing himself from moving on. After CAC, as Haruki watched Akihiko chased after Ugetsu, I think I was ready to fight Akihiko lol. Then when Akihiko started changing for the better, Haruki thinks so little of himself in Akihiko’s eyes that he thought that Akihiko’s changing for Ugetsu, which I can’t blame him for because again, no one is telling anyone anything. Then came the confession and everything, and things seem to quiet down for now. Personally, I think Haruki forgives Akihiko too easily, but love makes people blind I guess.
Tbh, I don’t want Haruki to end up with Akihiko, simply because I think Haruki deserves better. I know that Akihiko’s trying his best to become someone who can be equal to Haruki and loves Haruki as much as he loves him. But I don’t want to see Haruki get hurt again. And already, in his confession, Akihiko said he didn’t know if he would hurt Haruki in the future or not. I think Haruki would definitely end up being hurt as long as the issues between Akihiko and Ugetsu are not properly resolved. Just as I hope for Ugetsu, I also hope Haruki finally finds someone who would deserve his love, either it’d be Akihiko or someone else. Haruki still loves Akihiko though, so that makes Akihiko’s the perfect person for Haruki in Haruki’s eyes. We’ll have to see if Akihiko’s feelings for Haruki are for good or just for the moment because Haruki’s too nice to him and Akihiko wants to change just to make it up to him. Well, I think Akihiko does have some feelings for Haruki since long ago, he just doesn’t notice it. Like Mafuyu notices, for some time now, Akihiko does hide some of his actions from Haruki and Haruki only, to make Haruki feel better? To make Haruki not worry? To make Haruki think better of Akihiko? I honestly don’t know. As long as Akihiko tries his best not to hurt Haruki again then I’m fine. Take-chan please take my place and protect Haruki.
Also, one thing I don’t understand is why does everyone fall for Akihiko? Everyone here includes but not limited to Yayoi, Ugetsu and Haruki, others also say that Akihiko’s popular among girls which he uses to his advantage as a gigolo. I can see the obvious like his look and body, his musical talent and his gentleness I guess. But what makes three people fall in love with him? And Yayoi, Ugetsu and Haruki all seem to be great people in their own way, so why Akihiko? What’s so great about him??? Someone tells me so I can understand more pleaseeeeee.
As much as I enjoy reading about these three, I really want to see some progress between Uenoyama and Mafuyu. We’re left at a cliff-hanger about their relationship and I need to see more urg.
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TEXT REVIEW OF INFINITY WAR
UNFOLLOW ME IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ THESE SPOILERS I DONT USE THIS ACCOUNT SEE IF I CARE
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Seriously this is gonna have spoilers go away if you dont wanna see.
I liked it. Kinda want to see it again and may change my mind on stuff at a later date but I want to get these thoughts out while they’re in my mind.
1. STORY STRUCTURE:
The structure of this film is weird? But not really. It makes sense once you realize Thanos is the main character. Act One we’re being introduced to all the different heroes, which is done masterfully and paced really well so we never feel overwhelmed despite the sheer size of the cast. Act Two starts once Gamora tells Star Lord he may have to kill her, and then Thanos is re-introduced. I’ll come back to this later but I dislike that there’s a good couple scenes where its just GotG characters interacting with each other with no Avengers around. Like this is an Avengers movie. Couldn’t SOME Avengers character have been around for this Like this is a crossover why are these characters still with just their regular crew? Anyways from then on Thanos’s POV takes center stage. Once Gamora is dead Thanos, like Thor, has nothing he really cares about left to lose. He’s at his lowest, despite also being 2 stones away from infinite power. Act Three begins with him this way, recalling to Doctor Strange his origin, and reasserting his resolve to go through with this. He beats both of the split forces of the Avengers, one on Titan, and the other in Wakanda, and despite nearly being beaten three different times, he manages to snap his fingers. We see the results of the world he’s created, while he sits back and watches the sunset.
I like that they decided to let Thanos win and kill half the universe. I know it’ll traumatize a lot of kids watching the movie, but like, these things are rated PG 13. There have been sex references and character deaths and such in these for a long long time. Its the big bad final battle for the Avengers and they needed a cliff to hang on and so they hung people. I dont believe the people turned to ash will stay dead, but I didn’t expect a happy ending either. PLUS this gives us time to really focus on the characters that need more room to finish their arcs in the real finale.
I like the way the movie is structured. It doesn’t feel overcrowded and it makes a lot of sense when you realize its Thanos’s movie not any of the heroes’. And it helps make Thanos the most developed bad guy in any MCU film. SPEAKING OF WHICH.
2. CHARACTERS: (the long one)
-THANOS: The best bad guy in any MCU film. Not my FAVORITE bad guy in an MCU film though. Loki still holds that title, and if we’re counting the Netflix shows, Fisk and Kilgrave are still PRETTY dope. Thanos is WONDERFUL. But I neither love him or love to hate him. I appreciate what was done with him though. He earns his place as the biggest threat in this universe, despite a lack of real competition. You feel his struggle, even though you really want him to fail. Its really well done. Cant help but wonder why no mention of his love for Lady Death though? I at least expected Hela to show up and be like “SURPRISE IM LADY DEATH” or something idk. We never saw her die in Ragnarok. Is that really not something they’re gonna at least do something off of?
-THOR: despite spending MOST of the movie on what is basically a side quest, he’s the hero who gets the most development. I figured that the way Ragnarok was handled was done specifically to set this up and I got what I expected to fall out from that and then some. I love his arc in this. I love his conversations with Rocket and I love how powerful he is now. He’s just really well handled and I love how he’s developed as a character. Also, side note, I like that each Avengers movie changes which of its members gets the most development. Cap was the one who was still finding his place and going through an arc in the first one, Tony is dealing with paranoia and being the one to create Ultron in AoU, and Thor is still dealing with the death of his people here.
-TONY: I have less to say here. I hate nanite tech being used in pretty much anything. idk why it just bothers me. It always feels dumb. but it was fine here actually. I love his conflict with Strange and Peter and the other Peter. I love that he has to deal with watching everyone else die. The whole movie plays on your expectation that Tony is going to die in the end and then COMPLETELY subverts that and I love it.
-DOCTOR STRANGE: Great. Comes off a little more of a jerk than he does in his own film but we also mainly see him through the eyes of Tony, so I think thats why. I love his magic and how smart and calculated he is in combat compared to the other characters. The Russos are VERY aware and very good at showing the characters’ character traits via how they fight which is good considering how much action there is in this movie.
-SPIDER-MAN: I swear he’s more competent here than in his own movie. Also we see SPIDEY SENSE GO OFF which we NEVER SEE HAPPEN IN HIS OWN MOVIE. He still doesn’t REALLY feel like Peter Parker though which is weird bc he almost did by the end of Homecoming and now here he just kinda reverted back out of that.
-GAMORA: Really great. Somewhere in between Guardians 1 and now she stopped being every single one of Zoe Saldana’s characters in anything ever to being a pretty fleshed out character. Though its kinda weird that Thanos’s other children in this movie are so much more loyal to him than her and Nebula are? Like whats up with them? Why is Gamora the favorite when she openly hates him?
-STAR-LORD: Great. Not much else to say.
-ROCKET AND GROOT: ALSO great. They’re especially great as sidekicks to Thor. They have some great exchanges, even if their screentime was primarily spent on a side quest. I nearly squealed when Groot used his arm to create the Stormbreaker Axe. I’m annoyed Groot died again at the end. WE’VE SEEN ROCKET MOURN GROOT’S DEATH BEFORE THIS ISN’T INTERESTING OR NEW.
-DRAX AND MANTIS: pretty good. I like them both. If anything there’s probably too much of them. I love them so I cant complain too much but like idk I feel like we saw more of these Guardians side characters than some of the Avengers main characters in an Avengers movie.
-WANDA AND VISION: Wanda has always been one of my fav characters in the MCU and that doesn’t change here. Her romance with Vis is great. Honestly I love her whole arc and I love how its foreshadowed by Gamora telling Quill to kill her earlier in the film. Wanda having to lose the closest person to her AGAIN is emotional and sad and everything and idk Elizabeth and Paul give great performances and both do a great job playing some good characters. Vis is basically a damsel in distress the whole film, which seems disingenuous because he’s like the most powerful avenger prior to Thor’s buff over these last couple movies. But I guess it makes sense in context. They’re not GREAT but like I said I like them so I’m biased.
-CAP, FALCON, AND NAT: Kinda useless tbh. They dont do much. They dont even have many lines. Like they fight in the Wakanda battle. Thats it. They’re tired and grumpy because they’ve been on the run for TWO YEARS. Something we dont see at all. Not that thats what I want to see, but... they’re basically just there to shuttle Wanda and Vision to Wakanda and then fight a bit.
-T’CHALLA, OKOYE, SHURI, AND M’BAKU: Even quieter and less notable than the Cap crew. Which really cheapens how much of the film takes place in Wakanda. Like, why does the Cosmic stuff feel authentic to what James Gunn built in the Guardians movies, while this stuff feels so underwritten and underrepresented? We have four Wakandan characters here and they do so hecking little. AND THEN T’CHALLA IS ONE OF THE PEOPLE WE SEE TURN TO ASH. WHAT? WE ALREADY GOT A FAKE OUT DEATH WITH HIM IN HIS OWN MOVIE. I HATED IT THERE. WE GOTTA SEE HIS FAMILY DEAL WITH HIM BEING DEAD AGAIN??? Shuri better become black panther in avengers 4 man. thats the only way I’ll be ok with him dying a SeCONd TiME.
-BUCKY, RHODEY, NICK FURY, MARIA HILL, LOKI, RED SKULL AND HEIMDALL: all play really small parts but manage to do their jobs and be really notable anyways. Shoutouts to them.
-BRUCE BANNER: meh. Bruce has finally kind of accepted the Hulk but Hulk is scared of Thanos so he wont come out. So Bruce spends the whole movie in his head having conflict with himself and not really engaging with whats going on? Kind of a dumb choice imo like if CAP is a minor character whos mainly there to banter with other people so should Banner. We dont even really see him interact with Ross or Rhodes once he gets back to Avengers HQ. dumb but not a big deal.
3. SMALL DETAILS:
-Music was weirdly lacking from a lot of the movie. Like it feels like Silvestri only orchestrated like half of the film. So much of it is just left.. quiet. Empty. This is INFINITY WAR. IT SHOULD BE ALL ABOUT THE SPECTACLE.
-Are Valkyrie, Korg and Miek still alive? We dont see them at all on the Asgardian ship?
-What happened to Sean Gunn’s character? Also wasn’t Nebula still with the Guardians at the end of Vol 2? Did I miss something or...?
-How did Thor know to go to Wakanda? He should have been going to Titan to meet up with Quill, right?
-How does the Bifrost work if the Bifrost is broken? That was a big thing in Thor 1 wasn’t he?
-They didn’t get Hugo Weaving back to play Red Skull but thats fine I still geeked out when he showed up.
-Peter Dinklage was good but he was in the movie too long. Thor’s stuff really felt side questy even though its the best stuff in the film.
I think thats about everything it was good but not GREAT k bye
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Ep. 5 - “i want to see a live reaction to this in the reunion chat” - Maynor
Stephen
Ahahaha by the grace of the inactivity gods im still here. This is my karma for suffering through the preseason of Erinsborough. Now, I may not have actually gone home, but who knows I had an gut feeling and those are usually right.
Stephen
*laughing about surviving*
Jay: Music Videos!
*stops laughing*
Dylan C
me: [volunteers to edit for this challenge]
me: [regrets this 5 min later]
John
ok i have a LOT of tea that needs spilled so sit back, relax, and enjoy this feature presentation:
-first things first, cormac. why couldn’t you have just voted. i would have one more ally and stephen would be out. so thanks.
-second, zoe told me about her advantage and how she has connections to the other side so that we should have a group of 5 at the merge. so that’s mind blowing. i’m just like in shock because in a way, cormac getting pulled allowed me to be zoe’s number 1. and that’s amazing. we stan.
-third, sierra is driving me insane. constant overdrive from her, and she’s starting to cross the divide between helpful and micromanaging. she can micromanage herself out of the game for all i care.
-fourth, timmy is ADORABLE. i’m definitely trying to get a cross tribal alliance with him bc wow. he cute. like really. he’s cute.
Keith John
Well if episodes are named here, This title of this episode would be "How you get screwed When tribal council gets Cancelled."
From being in a safe position last night to waking up and realizing that I am screwed in this game.
First of all, THANK YOU CORMAC for going out at the worst time possible. Last night my name was thrown out by Stephen. So obviously people entertained the idea.I do feel that I would have stayed but Cormac's evac has changed alot.
I had a planned final three with Cormac and Zoe, with Cormac gone. I'm down one alliance member.
Stephen is still in the game. And I know he is targeting me.
Maynor never spoke to me about the vote much. Inspite of me approaching him before tribal to see if he wanted to work together
John. who said he would have my back and would tell me if anyone would throw my name out. Never told me about Stephen's plan. I am sure he knew about it.
Sierra and I haven't bonded much personally. A little my fault there.
And Lastly Zoe. I know for now she definitely has my back. And I have hers but it feels like my game is extremely dependent on her. I feel alot of people want to work with her. And how long will she want to work with me? That I don't know.
Honourary mention: JAY thanks for throwing a challenge that I would suck at the most. I hate being on camera, Hate singing unless I wanna punish someone.
Raffy
Cormac being gone kind of relieves me since he has been giving me bad vibes ever since day 1 of this game. Now that's just one more person that I do not talk to out of the way. I figure that merge is happening at 11 because Jay said there was a twist which can only mean that it is merge or that someone is coming back into the game. Maybe both. I'm just going to focus on winning this challenge for my tribe by providing the lip sync of my life. This shit is about to be so FIRE.
Raffy
I think I am fully in crackhead behavior. I just messaged 6 people at the same time trying to have conversations with them. This one world has made a mess of me, and I do not like it. Also, I am pretty much giving up on the idol because I don't want to go through the effort of hunting for it. So, instead, I'll just pray that it isn't used against me.
Maynor
Well. Now im not sure if Stephen vote was true or not but i have to rely on that my allies were gunna be with me. Its sad seeing cormac go since he was someone i connected with. But im glad it was done before tribal and not after tribal. Im hoping we could win immunity this round since im still feeling a little nervousish.
Maynor
Catch me voting out John for calling Timmy cute.
Omg. Like i want to see a live reaction to this in the reunion chat. Them finding out we are dating. 😂😂
Raffy
I kind of put my neck out there in this challenge by suggesting the song. While I am not editing the video, I did make the song suggestion which is almost as important. Perhaps this could lead to my downfall. Furthermore, I talked to Dylan and they said that only themselves, Ellie, Justin, and I submitted videos which means we are missing Timmy's and Joseph's. Plus, editing takes a long time, so Dylan might not even use their videos if they are late. I just hope what people managed to film is enough. I've never won a music video challenge, and I am hoping this game can change that. I'm not that confident though.
Raffy
I think I have made some strong connections in this tribe and the other. The people who I have talked about staying strong and working together include Justin, John, Dylan, Ellie, Timmy, and Keith. This seems like a diverse group of people that I can fall back on if one ends up turning their back on me. I always have to have back-up allies, otherwise I am liable to get voted out early in merge which I suspect is soon. I just want to establish myself in another alliance, but that seems hard in this game. I don't know who would be in that new alliance, but it would be some combination of the people I mentioned and others who I get good vibes from. Let's pray for me!
John
if rupaul was judging this music video challenge, she’d be telling us to sashay away. we are literally on the level of valentina with her mask on bad.
Ellie
Let’s hope that this damn video comes togather
Stephen
We’re losing this challenge. Theres only about 4/5 of us in the video, a lot of the video is from the original music video and the rest is... ok, but not great.
Dylan CI wanna say we have a better video but I'm gonna be the most biased on the tribe since I edited the damned thing for about four hours. I had to sacrifice some synchronicity a little bit towards the beginning to get Ellie in for the 10 seconds for the extra points. I had originally trimmed her clip to what I could match up the best, but then I double checked the post lol. Hope the judges don't care too much there.
Dylan C
I'm not even gonna go feral. I'm just gonna lay face down on my kitchen floor for a while.
Stephen
I.... okay, im not complaining. But yeah judges thanks but the fuck?
Dylan C
I'm like, actually upset right now? Like not so much that we lost, but that I spent all that time editing, when I've been worried about getting all my homework done this weekend but I volunteered to edit and wasn't about to back out cos that'd be shitty!!, only to lose by 20 motherfucking points. And also? I worked with what my tribe gave me bitch!!! Raffy was the only one who recorded the whole song, Justin did like half, Ellie and Joseph only gave me short clips, and Timmy was sick so he didn't film anything? I just wasted my entire afternoon and evening on this when I have real life shit I should've taken care of, but I made a commitment to my tribe, and for what? Tribal that's going to be happening while I'm at one of my Thanksgiving events! Granted, that was going to occur regardless upon losing since I'll be busy both Thanksgiving and the day after. But fucking still. Kinda just wanna ghost the world atm.
John
i’m kinda torn that we won. on one hand, we’re safe. on the other hand, i wanted to vote out stephen. so like, i’m feeling mixed emotions. these people will be dangerous to take to the merge. i hope it’s not next.
Dylan C
Kinda funny how I was so zazzed to be strategic at the start of this but I really haven’t been since. Strategy? I don’t know her. Also I’ve been ass about socializing one on one with ppl on the other tribe so I have a feeling that’ll bite me in mine.
Sierra
By some miracle, we’re safe! I’m so glad that we don’t have to vote anyone out right now... especially because I don’t have my vote right now. Maybe I can make it to the merge and hide for the first vote there without having to vote.
Joseph Collins
I am confusion. Dylan did such a good job editing. Our tribe and group is such a great mix of personalities and stories. And they came together to blend and make an amazing video. I actually got emotional watching it. I was very surprised to find out we lost. And now, we have to vote someone off our tribe. I hate it so much. I feel like it’s gonna be Timmy. He was absent in the time-crunch immunity challenge. Even Justin showed up and showed out which I thought was awesome. I like Timmy. And I feel like this is a hard vote for others so now I have to go be cutthroat Jo
Justin
Alright, so another tribal for us. I feel better than last time, but I'm still not 100% confident I won't be targeted again. Before the results for the challenge came in though, Raffy approached me and started talking to me some more about working together which makes me feel better keeping him around. Especially since I realized that he talks to me more than Ellie, so honestly I want her out now cuz whenever I talk about working together she leaves me on read. So, in conclusion I don't want you in the game lol. At least Raffy talks to me and says he wants to work with me, even if it might be fake. I told Joseph that I would like Ellie out, but he says Timmy cuz he doesn't talk to him and he feels Ellie could be our shield. I don't want him to go yet because I feel like he would vote with me, but I'm not jeopardizing my game to save him since he barely talks to me too. Although Joseph makes a good point that Ellie can make a good shield, I feel like we have other shields to hide behind in Raffy and Dylan. Plus, I feel like she has more connections than Timmy could get if he keeps playing the way he is.
Maynor
Im so happy that we were able to pull of the win in immunity. Im making it to the final 11. I really want to make it far in this game. I am really hoping Timmy stays alive. Like i know its bias cuz we are together. But we normally dont play the game together. Im just hoping we can make it far together this time. Plus ❤️ Jay. It would be amazing if i won this game. Me winning my first and last game would be pretty awesome. So im going to try my hardest.
Timmy
So apparently Justin is going around saying my name. Does this idiot not realize that I’m the reason he stayed last tribal we went to. Like seriously, and apparently he’s telling everyone the same thing that he’ll be with them always. And he calls me inactive, like sorry you message me at 9am when I’m walking into work and j can’t answer you until like 5pm when I get out. He better leave this tribal. I wish it was happening tonight just to also move things forward.
Dylan C
Me? Lying by omission to Ellie? It’s more likely than you’d think.
Justin gave me her name earlier, and I tried to talk him out of it. He made a comment about keeping it between us. Now Ellie’s told me that Justin through her name out. “Between us.” Sure, Jan. And hey, I never mentioned it to Ellie or Raffy in our alliance chat (which exists as of last night). So I did keep it between us unlike him.
Didn’t mention it because he had a decent point about Ellie’s strong social game, but now isn’t the time to try to get her out, IMO. Especially since I’ve just allied with her. Granted, I’ve turned on allies shortly after making alliances before but that’s not happening in this game. No way.
So, I just acted like I didn’t know when Ellie told me and I’ll keep on that. That’s how I’ve been doing a lot: acting like some information people has given me is new to me (usually with Joseph tbh) when it isn’t new at all. Just kinda agree, maybe say I was already thinking about that, but not imply that I’d been Discussing it, depending on how I’m talking to.
Ellie
So Justin is scrambling like HARDCORE, He threw Timmy’s name out and hen my name out right after saying that we were tight, and he’s so paranoid and it’s driving all of us crazy. Like we have until tomorrow night, chill out. And Jospeh really wants Timmy out but I’m like IF WE TAKE JUSTIN TO MERGE HE WILL FLIP WITHIN FIVE MINUTES!! Timmy might not be the most active but at least he’s fucking loyal. Raffy, Timmy, and I want Justin out so badly. Dylan is trying to listen before making a concrete decision, and Joseph and Justin want Timmy out. Justin even wants me out apparently.
RaffyA lot happened today, so I am going to break it down.
Last night, Timmy, Ellie, and I (Just Go With It) discussed the vote early. Timmy suggested that we might want to get rid of Joseph or Dylan since he thought he would be able to sway Justin, since he considers Justin a close ally to him. That's when we all compared notes that Justin had claimed his apparent closeness to everyone on the tribe. This immediately put him on my radar as it could be a sign a double-crosser later down the road. As was not going to push anything since tribal was two days away, however I did talk with Ellie a little bit and she seemed down to vote Justin since she had a close relationship with Joseph and Dylan. While this was happening, Dylan created the Hypothetical Alliance with Ellie and I. This is great news since that means Ellie and I have control over two other votes (Timmy and Dylan) based solely on votes. In this way, whoever I wanted gone would go.
Justin messaged me early in the morning asking about the vote. He heavily suggested that we vote for Timmy because he is inactive and bad at challenges, but those are the things that I want in an ally going into a merge. Besides that, Justin was asking incessant, paranoia-filled questions regarding the vote and would not let up. It is safe to say that he doesn't get that he's being incredibly messy and scramble-y when he doesn't have to be. The vote isn't until tomorrow, yet he's acting like it's in thirty minutes! The King of Crack right here! Anyways, so I told Ellie and then she was experiencing the same thing, so we then told Timmy. Timmy instantly wanted him gone which meant what I wanted from the beginning was going to happen. Furthermore, I learned from Ellie that Justin does not trust me and that he thinks I am vague and noncommittal. Not only that, apparently Ellie heard him say her name from someone. This dude is incredibly dangerous for my alliance! So, I was determined to see him go and to get everyone to go after him.
Joseph was a tough nut to crack. He was very adamant today about voting out Timmy and keeping Justin. Apparently, Ellie got through to him, but I do not know how well that worked out for her. I have a feeling that Justin also said that he was tight with Joseph to the latter as he did with everyone. And Joseph thinks it is serious which means they'll be a powerful duo going into merge. I have to keep my eye on Joseph and make sure he doesn't slip from my grasp. Other than that, I managed to get Dylan on board with the vote as they thought Justin's paranoia and overall messiness was also a danger going into merge.
Finally, Zoe approached me today asking who I felt good with. I knew she was sniffing for an alliance so I said Ellie, Dylan, and Timmy. She suggested that, since a merge was coming soon, that we create an alliance with Dylan, Timmy, and John making us a strong 5. I immediately agreed of course. A strong alliance helps me navigate the merge more comfortably and easily. Plus, in that alliance, I have Dylan and Timmy to have a majority over the decisions. So, if it came down to us 5, I would be good. Not only that, but this means that Dylan and Timmy will vote together in this tribal along with Ellie and I, ensuring that Justin goes to EoE. This is all working out for me. I do not know whether to tell Ellie about this alliance eventually, but I am planning on keeping it pretty tight-lipped for the most part. What doesn't kill her makes her stronger.
And that's what you missed on Glee
Johndamn. who knew i’d align myself with the perfect ride or die. she has an advantage and NOW she has an idol?! she is STACKED, and now i gotta protect her at all costs.
Maynor
Ive been talking to Keith a lot more now but heard from Timmy that people have been saying that he has been doing that with everyone so idk what to think of our bonding. Like i would like to think he would be on my side but who knows. We been talking about pokemon cards and the funko pops that i have. Its been fun. Im really glad talking to him more.
Keith John
Due to thanksgiving. Tribal was moved a day ahead and everyone was busy celebrating. So things have been slow.
I decided to take the opportunity to complete the fox portion of the idol hunt. which turned out to nothing, As Zoe already informed me and Cormac that she got the advantage. after informing her I told her I will give the other path on the idol hunt a try. didn't want to go behind her back and do it. especially we are expecting a swap. this is my first time playing so I'm not sure that its a sure swap or another twist.
Also finally I messaged Timmy again. After he didn't reply to me the first time. which was like 10 days ago. I know since I felt that I wasn't in the best position possible during the last tribal. I should have made an attempt before to talk to him as I need people, any people who want to work with me. But since I have had previous instances when I worked abroad, when people immediately snubbed or ignored me or changed their attitudes towards me when they found out that I am a Pakistani. N for a moment I felt like Timmy had decided that he didn't want to work with me. And me being a Pakistani was the reason. Which I guess is stupid on my part, I saw he added other people from the game to his skype. But didn't even reply to me. So When Zoe brought up the possibility of working with him. I decided to approach him again. This time he did reply. he seems nice but reserved. hopefully, we swap on the same tribe since we might have mutual friends who want to work together. But I would also like to make a genuine friendship with him and whether that becomes an alliance or not. that's to be seen.
OK Signing off for the night.
Timmy
People are quiet today in PMs but i hope that’s since we talked about tribal yesterday. Justin better be going bc he’s a snake ass bitch and I can’t deal with that shit.
Zoe
I got an idol, folks!!!!!!
I'm incredibly surprised at the rest of the tribe's laziness, considering I now have an advantage and an idol. The downside of the idol is that I have lost my vote next tribal, so now I really have to have trust in my tribe members and alliances cross tribal to keep me going through the twist, unknown as of five minutes before tribal. I predict a swap, but (not) knowing Jay makes me doubt that as well.
I'm still really sad about Cormac, but it's my game, not his game. As long as I can still count on my other connections, I'll just have to go on strong and know that it wasn't his time.
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high schooler!jaemin
my pRECIOUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSS
im sososo excited to write this because i loVE NANA sosososo much,, i miss him terribly but i hope that if and when he returns he is super happy and healthy so he can carry on making m e m o r i e s. sm need to update us more on him :((
sOO0o0oO0O0o0oooo0OOOO0o
ok so ma boi na jaemin
is literally loved by everyone in that school
and they all know him as the Smiley Kid™
like they may not even be in a class with him
mAY NOT even be in his year
but they have seen him around school
and i GUARANTEE he was smiling so everyone just knows who he is
they also know him bc he once started this petition
initially, the school didnt have a badminton club
and nana was just like ???/ badminton is love what the heck????
so he b e g g e d the sports teacher to start a club
and the teacher loves nana bc he’s always so active and supportive and just amaZING in their class,,,,, so they give him a chance
but they cant just start a club outta nowhere yknow?
so they’re like, if you get enough people to support you then i’ll talk to the head teacher and see what we can do ok?
so thIS BOI RAN OUT and started just asking literally e v e r y o n e in the school to sign this paper so the club would happen
and like who can say no to his smile??? it literally makes my heart weAK
the dreamies were the first to sign obviously
even donghyuck
but he only done it after nana said he’d post the old baby photos of hyuck everywhere aha love this boy
those baby photos??? he got them from hyuck’s mum lmao
yeah hes the kinda kid to talk with the other dreamies’ parents - mainly the mums because hes just such ??? a darling? ???
obviously he got enough signatures and he did not stop smiling for like a week bc badminton club!!!!! is finally a thing!!!!
he and mark are always the first to turn up and honestly some ppl just go to watch the two of them have a match
when hes not sparring w/ mark hes super kind and helps out others that are playing but struggling
which just makes everyone love him even more
he and jeno always get lockers full of confessions
and hes such a cutie he has the notes all saved in a shoe box under his bed
i say “a shoe box” but like he has so many notes there are like 20 boxes lmao rip
and whenever he gets chocolates or smth he always shares them with the dreamies
he also tries to help the others out whenever he can
like,, running lines with jeno for his auditions,,,,, helping out jisung and chenle with their homework etc.
he also encouraged mark the first time he wrote a poem to get it published in the school paper,, mark was heckin’ nervous so nana suggested sending it in anonymously, and mark just continued with it
also!!!!! this boy!!! i know i said renjun has like the bEST food in his lunch boxes, but jaemin is a close second
he always packs fruit with him and like its so ?? cute???
he spends the previous night chopping up the fruit - apples, bananas, mangoes, pomegranates, grapes, oranges, you name it - and then puts it in the fridge so it’s all fresh for lunch tomorrow.
uses a separate container for it and theres just s o m u c h fruit
he brings in 7 forks as well because he kNOWS !!!!1 the others are gonna take some from him
alsooo he is The Hoverboard Master™
lowkey gets frustrated when jisung challenges him
but is highkey supeeerrrr !! happy!!! when he beats jisung
insert the dreamies just disappointingly head shaking as jisung fake cries
“youre seriously not gonna let the kid win??” - mark
“even im not that cruel” - hyuck
but nana #dontgiveafuck bc he just won hAH TAKE THAT @JISUNG [had to make sure i didnt tag a blog there lmao rip]
mm so yall prolly met bc of a mutual dislike for sociology
ok so this part may be rubbish bc i know nothing abt sociology lmao so idk bare with me
yall were in the same class and the teacher set a partner project for the last term which she would test you on
1) ew partner projects #amirite 2) ew sociology #amiriteagain
cliche move: yall got paired up together
the project was basically one where you guys could freely talk about any topic relating to modern day society
you guys had to prepare a powerpoint expressing contrasting views to the topic and then also include your own
didnt seem hard enough, but since you were being graded on this you had to put in 110% effort overachievers ayyyy
so yall got to work, tryna think of what topic you could write about
and after much debate and thinking you both eventually agreed on writing about how social media portray young men
first yall were gonna do women but felt that others may do that,,,, and also that the expectations men had werent spoken of as much so this would be interesting
in lesson you made a quick plan about how you were gonna go about this
decided that it’d be best if you both worked on the powerpoint together, but done research separately so you could just merge the two when making the powerpoint. like, nana would find bad views and you would find good ones.
so you went your separate ways after that lesson and met up the next day
yall chilled out in the library after school and started your individual researching
and after like the first hour the cuTIE asks if youre hungry and youre like yeah a lil’ bit, so you guys pack up your stuff and head down the street to the cafe and eat a bit there
he pays even tho you had previously agreed to split it :(((
and youre just like “hey we should just base our project on you-”
jaemin: “a nice young man that pays the bills?”
you: “a lying young man who said we’d split but stole the bill before i could do anything. im writing bad things about you now”
jaemin: “YOURE BEING BIASED, THATS UNFAIR–”
you: “idc :))))”
yall were just kidding obvs
after eating you guys head back to the cafe for like another hour of researching
and you decided that tomorrow you’d make a start on the powerpoint
so yall say bye, meet up tomorrow after school bc theres no sociology lesson, and do the same thing as yesterday
including the cafe dateeeee ;)))))
you make a start on the powerpoint and like hes such a perfectionist
like “no, no, no y/n move the title a bit to the right. no no ! your other right,,,, aaa no youve moved it too much !!!!”
“um,,,,, im not really feeling this navy blue, use that green instead,,, actuallyyyyy, what about that purple over there????”
after he starts shouting out hex codes to use you give up and just let him take the mouse
he ends up keeping the initial navy blue lmao
so after that hectic day and jaemin’s complaining youve managed to do just. your. first. slide.
but it has a super c00l background and animations so yeah very productive !!!
this basically continues for the next 3 weeks, with you guys presenting in the 4th week.
when it comes to the presentation day yall were vvvv nervous going up bc you get graded on how you present it as well, not just the info :’))))
but the whole thing runs super smoothly bc na jaemin flashed thAT SMILE @ YOU AND ALL YOUR WORRIES DISAPPEARED BEFORE YOU GUYS EVEN INTRODUCED THE TOPIC
the whole thing went really well, you guys took turn answering questions your peers and the teacher threw at you and when yall were done he sMILED AGAIN !!!!! and like yall felt super confident bc that went hecking well
when you got your results back it was an A*/ A+ and nana sent a message to you like “OMGGGGGGG WE DID IT!!! YESSSS!!!! MY AMAZING HARD WORK PAID OFF”
“***ouR AMAZING HARD WORK,,, BUT LIKE IM PRETTY SURE IT WAS MY AMAZING HEX CODES THAT SEALED THE DEAL”
yall decided to celebrate at the cafe that you frequented
the old lady that owned the place knew you guys really well bc of the project
she’d be constantly refuelling you guys so she knew about the project too LMAO
and so when you guys told her that you guys aced the project she was super happy too and she was like “your food is on the house ily !!!!”
so like whoop whoop !! free food !
and you guys kept up that tradition during the summer holidays, meeting up at the cafe
and like the employees there knew you both so well
they started a bet like “how long until they walk in here holding hands one day and start dating???”
jaemin accidentally calls you sweetie or smth and you both just hear the old lady scream “yeSSSS!!! I WON!!!!! PAY UP WORKERSsss!!!! FREE FOOD FOR YOU, JAEMIN + Y/N!!!”
yall were confused as heck buT FREE FOOD !!!
i aint even surprised this was my longest one i love na jaemin
#i started this yesterday#and then just watched youtube + played bo2#and my laptop started dying#so it took so long riiiip#but here it is#ma boi na jaemin in school yes pls#nct writing#nct imagines#nct na jaemin#na jaemin#nct scenarios#nct dream#nct fluff#bulleted imagine#dreamies#nct#jaemin in high school#boyfriend jaemin#nct school#high schooler jaemin#nct headcanon#jmn#nct jaemin fluff
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Green-eyed monster
Request: Reader surprise coups at a fansign bc they haven’t met for a while (work) but other members keep calling for reader, getting reader’s attention totally forgetting about coups so he got jelly.
Killing my best friend some more <3
Masterlist
Rules
(Source)
Requested
Genre: Flufufufufufufuf
Word count: 1 785
Summary: Even leaders can be insecure sometimes....
I was surrounded by sweaty bodies everywhere around me, some pushing, some experiencing the same agony that I did, especially in the natural warmth we were bathing in. many of the bodies around me were decorated in paint, they had either written their bias’ name or the whole group. Nonetheless, I was one of the few that didn’t even look like a fan. Not because I wasn’t one, because I was, but because I didn’t have to prove to these boys that I love them with paint, they already know it.
The feeling of dying was creeping in on me when the line finally started moving. They had taken their time with letting everyone in and were a little bit behind schedule but that didn’t surprise me. Either Seokmin or Soonyoung or maybe even Seungkwan were probably causing the delay by fooling around like they normally did. I felt everyone around me, including myself, take a breath of relief once we entered the venue where the fan meeting would be held. It was like walking into a cool breeze compared to the warmth of the outside.
None of the boys knew I was here, not even my brother Jihoon. They had just finished their Asian tour and was ending it with a fan meeting in the same place they started. The tour had lasted three months and I was kind of missing my annoying, hard-working brother. I also missed my boyfriend, whom I would be seeing today too, and it was my personal goal to surprise him the most. Everyone was now sitting down in the available seats and some, for example, me, had to do with sitting on the floor. After a couple of minutes of waiting, they finally emerged from the ends of the stage and took their spots. They were sitting down in order of age. So at one end, we had Chan and on the other, we had my lovable boyfriend, Seungcheol. After their original introduction, the fans were allowed to start lining up and get their things signed and turning their dreams into reality.
It was my intention to spend as much time as I could with them so I allowed everyone else take the places in front of me, causing me to be the last one in line. The boys were as happy and polite as ever, however the same could not be said for some of the fans. While most of the people here made it their mission to be nice and not cause any harm to the boys, some others didn’t exactly care for the fact that the members were human and not robots. The guards had to escort at least five fans for being either rude and way too biased or overall expecting too much and getting aggressive once those expectations weren’t reached. The annoyance bubbled up inside me as soon as the first girl overstepped the boundaries. Said fan had expected to have more time chatting with Hansol but when she was told to move on, the aggression displayed was directed at poor Seungkwan, who had been waiting patiently at Hansol’s left side. Throwing down the photocard she wanted signed on the table in front of him, the fan scoffed and glared at him, leaving Seungkwan thoroughly confused and incredibly hurt. This kind of behaviour could result in idols believing they’re not good enough for the industry and leave a scarring impact on said idol. It didn’t take long before the guards escorted the girl away and the fan meet progressed as if nothing had happened. Minghao leaned towards Seungkwan to check if he was okay. Seungkwan’s nod indicated that he was and he waved Minghao’s concern away as he turned his focus to another fan that now sat in front of him.
Within the next hour, there were numerous fans who either overstepped or were close to overstepping the boundaries and I noticed the members getting more and wearier. Joshua, who was sitting on the other end of the table, repeatedly rubbed his eyes while trying to stay awake and even though he was so out of it and tired he still put on a big smile and greeted the fans with cheerfulness. Finally, the boys started to appear closer than before and I knew that I didn’t have to wait for so long to greet my friends once again. As soon as I stepped into view of Chan he instantly saw me, I have never seen him so shocked before and he almost forgot about the fan in front of him. He quickly signed her stuff while making some small talk and when she continued down the line to Hansol, Chan discretely shoved his elbow into Hansol’s ribcage, successfully gaining his attention and gestured towards me. Hansol had the exact same reaction as the maknae but was faster in shifting his concentration towards the fan. I laughed at their reactions and followed the movement of the queue. After a couple of minutes, I stood in front of the maknae.
“Y/N!!! What are you doing here? You surprised me.” The smile didn’t leave his face for one second as he spoke to me.
“That was kind of the point.” He laughed at that and I handed him the photocard portraying him. He gave me a joking look but signed it nonetheless. “What? I need to seem like a fan in order to avoid exposure.”
“Wha, when did you become so smart?” Oh yeah, now that we’re supposed to look like only an idol and a fan I’m not allowed to jokingly hit him. He knew that so he poked out his tongue at me and shooed me along to Hansol who also had his iconic smile on his face.
“Coups hyung is going to die.” He said as he signed the photocard.”How did you…”
“Omg Y/N!?” That, ladies and gentlemen and other, was Boo Seungkwan freaking out and getting so shocked that he almost fell out of his chair. I laughed at him and realised that the surprise aspect of this whole thing now was ruined. I could feel the eyes of the other boys and I didn’t even have to look at them in order to realise that they were trying not to blow my cover even though that was too late by now. The fans knew that I was related to Jihoon but most of them didn’t know what I looked like and none of them knew that I was Seungcheol’s significant other.
“Hi, Boo Boo,” I said as I moved on to him. He stood up and gestured for me to come closer, indicating that he wanted a hug. With a smile coating my lips I leaned across the table and wrapped my arms around his upper back.
“I’ve missed you so much, I need someone who can handle all of this…” He gestured towards himself. “… and they can’t.” He pointed at the other guys. Talking with the three youngsters had taken a while so I was the only one left in the venue so the guys had the freedom of rising from their seats and embrace me in a group hug.
“Y/N-yah, only you would surprise us like this.” Mingyu.
“Why would you attack us with these feels, I can’t handle it.” Soonyoung.
“Could all of you disperse so I can catch up with the only family member I actually ever see?” The guys were quick to move since Jihoon had a guitar available and anything could happen, but when he emerged from behind them he was wearing a huge smile and hugged me like his life depended on it. With a small laugh, I returned the hug.
“Have you had a good tour?” He nodded and dived into a story about how the fans were so supportive and that the new song was a huge hit and other weird but not unusual things the boys had done. Between all the fits of laughter and hugs I realised that one of the boys were missing, the most important one.
“Hey, where’s Cheol?” At that question, the guys looked around for him and when they didn’t see him anywhere they shrugged their shoulders. Concern replaced the happy feeling within me so I excused myself in order to go look for him. I made my way towards the back of the room where the idols were able to get their makeup done and get ready for either fan meets or concerts. The guards recognised me instantly and let me in. The room was not the cleanest one, with makeup covering most areas and clothes lying scattered all over the floor you would think a rainbow tornado just made a visit. In the midst of all the chaos sat my one and only boyfriend on the couch. His concentration was on his phone where he was playing some sort of game. As I closed the door he looked up at me but looked down again just as fast. What was that about? Quietly I sat down beside him and waited for him to talk which, eventually, he did.
“Why are you not out there having fun with everyone else?” He still didn’t look at me.
“Because I wanted to be with you but you weren’t there so I looked for you.” He scoffed at that and still kept his gaze on the device in his hands.
“You didn’t seem to be that interested in me when I actually was present.” That’s when I realised what was going on. He was jealous.
“I’m sorry, everyone got so excited and everything happened at the same time, it was kind of hard to get to you.” He glanced at me but he still didn’t budge with the jealous attitude. I shuffled closer and wrapped my arms around him while laying my head on his shoulder.
“You know I love you right? You and only you. Nothing will change that.” My words forced a smile to erupt on his face and he couldn’t stop himself from giggling at what I said. I smiled as I knew he was convinced. He shifted himself and wrapped his arms around my torso, making me lift my head from his shoulder and meet his gaze.
“I know and I’m sorry I get so easily jealous, I can’t help it, it feels like they’ll take you away from me.”
“That will never happen.”
“I know.” A small smile appeared and he pecked my lips. “And I love you too.”
We didn’t leave that room for almost two hours and we were not disturbed. How? You may wonder.
Well.
The guard was nice enough to lock the door.
#seventeen#seventeen scenario#kpop#kpop scenario#svt#carat#s.coups#seungcheol#choi seungcheol#music#love#fanfic#fanfiction#runninghoseok
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on fathers and sons - an index of YGO abuse narratives
When discussing Noa’s arc, it seems like people place a lot of emphasis on this moment and declaration from Seto:
It’s a very stark and strong moment - Seto’s rejection of Gouzaburou, and I think it’s right to take this into account. But I think maybe we should be putting just as much, if not more weight, in the sequences in Noa’s arc following this. Particularly in the structure of Seto and Noa’s duel:
Make no mistake. This is a duel set up to run on Gouzaburou’s terms. Seto and Noa are fighting in the understanding that there’s only one living body between them, and the winner will have proven themselves superior and the rightful heir to Kaiba Corp. They are fighting for the right to Gouzaburou’s legacy, and the loser will be left behind in VR. To Lose is to Die.
Continued under the cut:
Noa believes he has the upper hand, both because he was born and bred for this job. And because he outstripped the boundaries of humanity when his mental capacities were enhanced living in VR.
Seto is not impressed with this line of reasoning.
Not only did Seto put in the hard work and struggle to inherit Kaiba Corp. Noa’s already dead. He’s already lost once by Gouzaburou’s terms. Seto accepts the challenge to duel in the understanding that Noa was the loser once, and a loser once is a loser always.
...Both ultimately betray Gouzaburou’s teachings during this duel - Noa by cheating, and Seto by both admitting there are things more important than his own life on the line here in deciding to save Mokuba, and in Atem helping him finish the duel after he’s petrified. (Notably the BC final duel also subverts Seto’s expectations for loss, in Atem’s ability to find a method to save Malik’s life in their shadow game.)
But before that moment of truth, you’ve certainly got a lot of trash talk, some of which seems to betray certain line of reasoning from Seto.
[Insert long speech about the value of humans having to struggle against the chaos of the real world versus this VR of Noa’s creation.]
“Of course Gouzaburou loved me more! Gouzaburou must have been confused if he even considered that you might bet the better or superior compared to me! How pathetic of either of you to even doubt! He acknowledged me as superior - and the result of duel is going to prove him right!”
Okay, I’m being hyperbolic but, contrary to what you’d believe from the first set of caps, I think what Seto says here, combined with the circumstances surrounding this duel, betray a certain amount of Seto deeply desiring recognition and acknowledgement from Gouzaburou. Or at least recognition and acknowledgement for having the qualities that Gouzaburou would have valued.
I’ve seen people pan the direction of this arc, and Noa as a villain, specifically on this basis. Seto should, in theory, not care about what Gouzaburou thought, and thus not care about stomping out Noa’s desire to prove himself the worthy son. Gouzaburou was his abuser, no real parent to Seto, and therefore Seto should not care. And, make no mistake, I think Seto’s hatred for his stepfather is clearly documented.
But I’m going to defend how Noa’s arc frames this conflict and Noa as a villain, and the idea that Seto may have feelings regarding Gouzaburou that are rooted in a desire for acknowledgement and affection. There is very little of Gouzaburou in manga canon, nothing that would generally suggest Seto having any conflicting fond feelings for him - although I think the fact that Seto continues to make decisions to build and destroy duel towers in the memory of Gouzaburou might be indicative of the fact that he cares a little too much.
But the reason I think this is a particularly good extrapolation from manga canon, is that it matches the themes we see in REPEATEDLY in the narratives of abuse that ygo offers to us.
I’m sure you’re aware that the surplus of absentee and abusive dads in DM, it’s… a bit of a joke. Even for characters for which you can assume a somewhat normal family life, such as Anzu and Honda, there’s a kind of sense in the story of a lack of presence from their parents. Which I would expect in a manga filled to the brim with ~adventure~ How are the characters gonna pile onto ships and blimps and go traipsing off to Egypt if their parents are always bugging them about school?
Well, I guess Yuugi has somehow managed to make it onto ships and blimps even with his mom bugging him about school…
There are multiple layers to this – The fact that absentee dads have become a norm in Japan given the increasing demands of corporate life. The fact that in a measure of personal experience a dead parent is much the same as an absent one – but dead parents make for better narrative drama. The fact that we never see Atem and his father together and are instead relayed an inherently biased posthumous recollection of their relationship. And the fact that there’s a kind of woefully imbalanced attribution of certain roles onto certain demographics of character. On that last point – I think it’s telling that, as a whole, it’s elder male children that are victimised in Takahashi’s narratives of family. It’s telling that mothers have an even smaller presence in Yu-Gi-Oh than fathers (and that when Yuugi’s mom hits him with a ladle up there, it’s framed as a joke). And it’s telling that father-daughter relationships are also very poorly defined. I’m going to give Shizuka a pass given the discrepancy in hers and Katsuya’s living situations, but I think it’s a pretty huge oversight that Isis’s relationship with her father is as unexplored as it is. (If I’m being brutally honest, I don’t think Takahashi empathises enough with his female characters to understand how they might, also, be deeply unhinged or affected by trauma.)
But, although I can critique the way Takahashi repeatedly approaches this same narrative – the narrative of a young man at odds with a cruel, violent, and single-minded father – I can’t help but love it, as I am perpetually surprised and enamoured with the amount of understanding, empathy, and realism Takahashi allows to his victims. This cuts in a lot of different ways, but there is one aspect that I particularly appreciate:
He not only understands that it’s normal for abused children to be angry and vengeful, but that it’s also normal for them to care about their parents regardless and to desire reconciliation with them, no matter how unlikely or misguided. And they are not shamed for it.
--
Jounouchi ended up being the prototype for this character in ygo canon, although these threads were dropped by the time the card game started. We see the gang caught of guard by an attack meant for Jounouchi.
And Honda confirms this behaviour is typical of Jounouchi’s dad.
But when we see Jounouchi’s attitude towards his dad, it’s warm and full of forgiveness. He enters a game show with the intention of winning money to pay off his father’s debts-
-specifically on the hopes that, by winning, he’ll be able to repair their relationship, and live together happily.
--
Gouzaburou was introduced next into the narrative, but Otogi and his father followed not far after.
Otogi’s father, Mr Clown, hits and berates him.
But, even so, Otogi continues to seek revenge on his father’s behalf.
And, beyond that, he’s very mild and apologetic.
Even when he’s pushing back against his dad, he’s apologising. This is framed as a harsh moment of rebellion - one that shocks Mr Clown - but all Otogi does is disobey his father’s request, and snatch the puzzle’s chain from his hand. And he’s still apologising while doing so. I think it goes to show how uncharacteristic it is for Otogi to express any harshness towards his father.
And, even when Mr Clown renounces Otogi as his son-
We see Otogi afterwards (on Jounouchi’s urging) hurry to cradle his father in his arms and and lead him to safety, and away from the fire that’s started in the Black Clown game shop.
But maybe the most persuasive show of Otogi’s desire to reconcile with his dad, is that he succeeds. They seem to be on good terms in Darkside of Dimensions, have opened a new business at the shopping plaza together.
--
I think Malik embodies this pattern most completely though. His abuse is portrayed with imagery more gruesome than the other characters on this list. His father’s whip, and the scars that were carved onto his back.
I’ve seen people operate under the impression his beef with the Pharaoh has to do with being confined to life underground, or having his back mutilated as part of the tombkeeper ritual, or for twisting his father’s personality into something terrible. I’m not going to say that those could not also be factors in Malik’s motivations. But the primary motivation for his behaviour in BC, is textually that he believes the Pharaoh’s spirit is responsible for killing the father that he loved. And being unable to accept the fact that the father he loved was also the father he hated enough to kill himself.
(Also, wow, panels that make much more sense after DSoD. If Bakura was surprised because Shada reappeared despite having been killed 3000 years ago, why was he not surprised to see modern incarnations of Isis and Set. Except in addition to killing Shada, he also killed Shadi ~5 years ago. Now his surprise makes sense.)
But, yeah, this vein is carried through to the end of Malik’s story arc. He’s not able to forgive himself for killing his father, no matter how abusive or terrible, he’s only able to decide, with encouragement from Rishid, that it’s preferable to keep on living.
Anyhow, insofar as Seto goes, as I’ve said, there’s scant evidence to draw from regarding his feelings about Gouzaburou. But I think it’s prudent to consider, as with the rest of these characters, his feelings are probably not limited to disdain. According to Takahashi’s commentary, Seto does consider Gouzaburou a father and is has been deeply haunted by his involvement in Gouzaburou’s downfall and death. Taking it a step further, it’s entirely likely that, he feels some form of fondness for his lost parent. No matter how misguided and futile such feelings would be.
#Kaiba Seto#Kaiba Noa#Jounouchi Katsuya#Otogi Ryuuji#Malik Ishtar#Kaiba Gouzaburou#Hank Ishtar#why is my tag for malik's dad 'hank ishtar' it's undermining how overly gd serious this post is#meta#DeLurk words the meta#save me from this card game hell#cw: abuse#i pulled these caps from here and there and everywhere#the Otogi ones I took pictures of myself which is why they're so bad#but thanks again @nenya for getting me the ones for the YBakura & YMalik duel and of Seto in front of the duel tower#i'm so sick of this post. i refuse to look at it any longer.#*sends out for other ppl to look at instead*
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Hi. I'm studying Jap Lit for 4 years. Fall term always goes fine bur when comes spring, I always fail. I'm still taking first class lessons this year. We have a jap culture community, I am the president this year. Tho everybody hate me and thinks I got the job bc I'm close to the Professor. I may not be a good student but I'm very good when it comes to bureaucracy and paper work. I know what to do, how to talk, I get shit done. I was working alone but now I have vices. 1/// ++
Dear Anon, rest assured, I received all parts of this ask. However, in hopes of respecting your privacy, I am only including the text from this one here. I hope that you don’t mind.
Before I respond, I would just like to shed some light on the approach you can expect from this response. Offline, I’m just a normal university student myself. Perhaps one day I will be a professional mediator or counselor or therapist. However, in my current form, I am unqualified to present any firm suggestions, strategies, or solutions.
As such, this response will be my perspective on the details you have chosen to share with me. I know for a fact that sometimes, emotions can close a person off in their own head, and they might not be able to see a situation from a different angle. I also know that it can be hard to believe other perspectives that don’t line up with your own, so as you read on, please keep in mind that:
I am a stranger on the internet, and I have no reason to lie.
I am not so kind as to say platitudes just to make someone feel better.
I, as a person, pride myself on never saying something I don’t mean.
So please read this post with the assurance that everything that I write is something I perceive to be the truth. I hope that this will be of some help in figuring out your path. More below the cut:
Rather than chronological order, I’ll be addressing themes that I have personal experience with first, as I feel as though those are the points in which my perspective will be most valuable to you.
You mentioned that you feel as though you don’t deserve the people you have around you. You specifically mentioned a non-family individual as well, who would have no societal obligation towards you, and so they are specifically choosing to spend time with you.
I know that when your mind is constantly telling you that you’re not worth people’s time, it’s difficult to think otherwise. After all, at that point it’s your conscious mind vs. the rest of it, and the rest of it has the advantage in numbers and is shouting louder than that one conscious voice. It’s hard to talk yourself up or think of yourself as respectable or valuable.
In the past, I struggled a lot with thinking that people only stuck around with me because they were too polite to tell me to stop bothering them. I didn’t bring it up for a long time because I was afraid that they might say no and then resent me for making them lie to me. I won’t co-opt this post for that long story, but basically, I brought this up to a friend, and skipping past the middle details, at the end she told me that she’s not so nice as to waste her time with someone she didn’t enjoy being around.
And in my experience, that’s true. Other people will have other opinions of you, whether or not they coincide with your own, and the nature of people is that they will not associate with people in their free time if they don’t enjoy being around them. If someone is choosing to hang out with you, respect them, their intelligence, and their autonomy by accepting their decision as a person .
Of course, that doesn’t mean that your value rests in the opinions of others. This mindset is specifically to address the feeling that you don’t deserve people who are choosing to spend time with you.
Another point that stood out to me amongst your asks is that you “feel like a failure” - specifically, you said that you “feel” like one. Though you may not realize it, that’s an important distinction to make. Feelings are not reality - merely a perception of it. Just because you feel like a failure does not mean that you are one, and it’s an extremely good thing that you make the distinction, even if it’s unconsciously.
I’m sorry that one of your vice-executives are overstepping her boundaries. That’s inappropriate of her and unfair to you, but I can’t offer my thoughts without more specific details, in this respect. Was there a time that you were excited to be president of this community? Any feelings or grand plans that you might have had? Rather than worrying about this vice-executive’s options, if there was a time that you enjoyed the idea of the presidency - or even just the culture community as a whole - maybe try to get back in touch with those initial ideas. If there was ever an aspect of the community that made you happy, try to not lose touch with those first feelings.
Also, it’s important to remember that things like becoming president of a culture community and getting a summer trip to Japan (I’m assuming it’s related?) don’t come out of nothing. Even in instances where there is favoritism involved, putting someone in a position usually means they are investing in that person because they see some sort of potential there. It at the very least means they’re confident that the person won’t run the community into the ground.
You mentioned academic hardships and concerns regarding your future. It sounds to me as though you grew up, then, with people telling you that there’s a specific path and order to success - do well in school, get in a good college; do well in college, get a good job; do well in a job, get a good life - does that sound right? If not, I’m sorry for making an assumption. I may have been biased towards that reading because this is, again, something I struggled with in my own life.
But regardless, you seem to be someone who takes their studies seriously, which is admirable. However, I know because my own academic background was hyper-competitive (Korea, woo), this also means that every failure feels like a blow. This is especially worse if you were a successful child because adults will always compare you to yourself, as though something went wrong as you grew up, when it’s really that experiences have shaped you and the world taught you and your mind different priorities. Sometimes that priority is reducing stress, which may manifest as lack of motivation. Sometimes that priority is keeping yourself safe, which results in anxiety. All this together can make an academic failure seem like the end of the line.
However, it’s not. No matter how scary it may be to wander off the paved path - the one society tells you is safest - who doesn’t wander off into nature once or twice? Maybe it’s a forest. Maybe it’s grasslands. Maybe it’s the beach, who knows. But saying that going straight from high school to university is better than taking time, taking it at a slower more manageable pace, is about as stupid as saying that the paved path is inherently better than nature.
If you’re struggling academically, that doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you - it means that there’s something wrong with the way you’re approaching the problem. Maybe you’re doing too much at once, or maybe you’re taking it too fast. Maybe you’re taking a more aggressive approach to academia when you should be pacing yourself for a long match.
If you find a different strategy, you can find the solution that’s right for you. For some people, it’s finding assistance through the school, be it through extra time for assignments or delayed exams (possible if your school gives assistance for mental illnesses). For others, it might be taking a break from school for a bit and coming back later. Only you will know what’s right for you. Definitely ask around for information to seek out your options, but the final choice should be yours and yours alone.
You also mentioned a dream, and god, what a good dream. If you’ve been following me, you already know that I love languages myself, so I think wanting to be a professor in a related field is an amazing goal. However, it seems that you’re having your doubts about its feasibility.
In my view, you’re only 22 years old. It may not seem like it because we’ve only been alive for about that long, but in the grand scheme of things, 20 years old is really, really young. Assuming nothing happens, we have decades to achieve our dreams and find satisfaction in our lives.
There are many professions that aren’t aging very well. There are too many doctors, too many lawyers. As technology advances, there’s less and less need for certain professions. But language - as technology advances and different countries interconnect, there’s only ever a growing need for language! Be it to learn another language, to translate between them, to understand how they form and relate, or to conserve a dying language, there’s never an end to the need for languages and their related professions.
Everyone deserves the opportunity to do what they love, as long as that desire does not harm themselves or others. Your aspiration to be a professor is nothing but beneficial, and it’s an admirable dream. All I have to say about it is that it’s alright to slow down. You mentioned that you don’t know whether to pursue your dream or to go find a job now - they’re not mutually exclusive.
You can take time trying other jobs for now to find your financial footing, and then you can go back to school, maybe get a graduate degree. There’s no hurry, and you don’t need to become a TA in your 20s, a professor by 30s. And with the advent of the internet, you don’t need to rush to become a professor to teach either - especially if you struggle with interpersonal interactions, you could try offering tutoring or private lesson services to work with people one-on-one, or you could try teaching an online class.
This is getting kind of long, and I’m not sure how helpful I’m being, but I would just like to add that in my freshman year of college, I had a lot of reason to think about the nature of depression, unhappiness, and desire to die. I came to the tentative conclusion that people despair most when they don’t have someone to share their suffering with, to talk to about their genuine hardships and petty grievances and unhappy moments.
You mentioned that you’re tired of acting like you’re okay. Well, of course you are, if you have to keep it up all the time - I don’t blame you for being tired, and I don’t blame you for wanting it to end. However, there are ways to bring it to an end through living. I encourage you to find someone in your life whom you can drop the act around, someone who you can talk to about how you feel. I can’t say who this person should be, as I do not know the people in your life, but it’s important to have someone in your life, in the physical realm, not just online, whom you can talk to honestly about your feelings.
And that can be scary - after all, who would want to spend time with someone who just feels bad all the time, or maybe your thinking is more that people only like you because you seem like you have your life together, and once they see beyond the facade, maybe they won’t like you anymore– see, that’s the part that I can relate to, because I’ve been stuck in that spiral of thought as well.
It took time, and it took patience, and it took a lot of conscious thinking. I had to psych myself up to it, and I made a lot of contingency plans and emotional failsafes before I could bring myself to take the chance with a friend of mine. Now they know how down I can get sometimes, how irrational my fears can get, but we’re still friends, and perhaps closer for it. That initial honesty lets me be more honest with them on a daily basis, and they return the favor.
Opening up to the people around you is a sign of care and a show of trust, and the people worth your time will recognize that.
You also mentioned that you struggle more mentally and emotionally in the springtime compared to the rest of the year. This sounds to me like you may want to look into Seasonal Affective Disorder. I would definitely recommend getting a professional diagnosis, however, and even if I am wrong, a professional may be able to help you relieve those symptoms. I do not know what country you are from nor what your community’s opinion is on mental health issues, but regarding this and some past events you have mentioned, someone who has finished their study and obtained a license would be far more helpful than me.
To close, you asked me a question regarding death. I can’t really answer the question you asked me specifically because of my view on death. Ultimately, my view is that death is not something ‘deserved’ or ‘undeserved’ - it’s not a blessing nor a punishment. In my view, ‘death’ is not ‘freedom’ either. My philosophy on death is complicated, and I don’t plan to shoehorn it into this post. However, I do think this: Death is the ‘final change’ of Life.
As long you are living, change is assured - that’s the nature of life, the ups and downs. The world doesn’t stand still, and people don’t stay the same. Nothing in life is constant except that things will change. However, change just means opportunities.
Death, however, no one living knows anything of death. All we know is that it means we stop living. For as long as you’re living, both changes and opportunities are assured. We don’t know what lies beyond living, and so to me, death is ‘the loss of assured opportunities’. Death means that maybe there are no more changes, maybe there are no more opportunities. It’s a ‘maybe things won’t get worse’, but it’s also a ‘maybe things won’t ever get better’.
I wish you luck with everything, Anon, and - oh! Enjoy your trip to Japan. If you don’t feel like you deserve it, well, think of it as a lucky opportunity and enjoy it thoroughly. Does a person who wins a lottery ever truly deserve the winning ticket? No, they’re just lucky. So if you think you don’t deserve it, enjoy that trip and learn from it as if it were a sweepstakes win and make it worthwhile.
Use the trip to give yourself time to reset. It will be a new experience, and new experiences are what stimulate change in our lives. So go, have fun, and if you don’t feel like you deserve the trip yet, go and take in the sights and the cultures. Learn and appreciate more than other people might. Heck, you’re in a culture community. I would say you deserve that trip more than some other people who would only want to go to Japan for the shopping and nothing else.
In any case, I’m sorry this is so long, Anon. I hope it was helpful in some capacity, and if anything was instead counterproductive, I apologize. Even so, I hope things improve for you soon. Please tell me how your trip to Japan goes, too!
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