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little-pondhead · 3 months

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Oops.

While learning to control his powers under the guidance of Clockwork, Danny accidentally curses his own bloodline with the Curse of Sentient Food several centuries in the past. Originally, a witch was supposed to curse his family. Oops. Well, the Fentons were always adapting, and technically, either way, he'd end up battling dino nuggets at three am in his underwear, no matter who the curse came from. So he shrugged and continued on.

Unfortunately, this also means that out of nowhere, the timeline shifted, and some of his very distant relatives are now battling their food into submission at every meal because Danny is ultimately way more powerful than some mortal witch from the 1600s. His version of the curse reached literally everyone he could ever be related to for the last few centuries. Even if they were adopted into the family!

So, returning to the present time after training, Danny is a little startled to see some news clips of people's dinners coming to life and beginning revolutions. Wow, John Fentonightingale really got around, didn't he? He felt a little uncomfortable that now all these random people had to deal with their share of Fenton luck, but from some of the interviews, everyone seemed to be handling it pretty well!

Especially his so-distant-they're-on-another-tree cousins, the Kents, who contacted his family directly, asking how best to prepare a zombie turkey. Their son was coming for Thanksgiving with his new wife and some coworkers, and they just refused to make the guests fight for their lives on a holiday!

They invited the Fentons to join them, of course.

#dpxdc #pondhead blurbs #sometimes i wonder where the fuck this stuff comes from #which snail is responsible for this #but if it wasn't clear danny curses his bloodline and fucks it up because of course he does #so literally every single relative he's ever had is now suffering directly from fenton luck and sentient food fights #ma and pa kent are the only ones who reach out for advice #how did they figure out the fentons were the source? like they'd tell you those are family secrets you nosey bitch #so now the fentons are invited to spend the holidays with their distant cousins in Kansas #and meet their adopted son clark! who was just married! :D #side note the timeline changed right as the cake was cut at clark's reception so that was interesting #they had to pay for so much dry cleaning #clark's coworkers (fellow jl members) are a little worried about the sentient food but so far it's not really a big issue?#they can definitely take time off for the holidays to relax!#and they totally won't get dragged on any interdimensional adventures with a dead teenage godling as their guide!#feel free to continue #idk how many kids bruce has when clark marries lois but feel free to just throw some in #like JL members and their kids #just toss them in and watch the kids go feral #fighting your food is enrichment <3

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forevermore-quoth-the-kitten · 2 years

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MC Grooms the Boys! Part 2

MC finds themself watching as only a few of the boys actually regularly take care of their demon appendages and thats fine, but self matinence is hard sometimes so after reading all about it, you decide that they need help!

Diavolo

Diavolo is a busy and powerful man, when you ask if he grooms himself or if he has attendants like Barbatos groom him, Diavolo quite literally freezes in his tracks, shocked.

its a second before he reboots and gives you a sheepish grin.

honestly, hes busier than he looks and doesn't often get the time to properly groom. sometimes he gets a hand from barbatos or Lucifer, but they're both quite busy too, and while he'd lvoe to accept, no one else besides his parents has ever offered to help groom him before.

you find that shocking, but yeah, actually when you think about it, that makes sense.

instead you change tactics and tell Diavolo you'd asked because youd read about demon grooming and asked him if he would let you groom him.

he turns to you so excited so fast that you get whiplash from it.

did you think he'd say no? this man is so happy he drags you to his palace and sticks you in his office before leaving you for a mniute, returning after a literal minute with a sixable bag of grooming tools and oil options to choose from. he then, like an excitable puppy, moves to his desk and snaps his fingers so his chair no longer has a back.

the wings and giant horns emerge and once you recover as he waits happily for you to get started, you look through the bag and start with a stiff brush to run over the top of his wings first.

you can see and hear Diavolo doing paperwork as you groom him, but he's not going very fast and keeps letting out happy little sighs whenever you hit a really nice spot on his wings or a very soft little growl-adjecent noise when you put too much pressure or scratch too hard somewhere.

all in all it's very chill and he seems to be productive as you work on his wings, but when youre done and need to do his horns, you pause and wonder if you should interrupt his work-

diavolo's not doing work, he's just making random doodles on a piece of paper. when he realizes he's been caught he gives you the most chill look and sheepish little grin. bro almost looks like hes been drugged with how calm the normally very excitable man is.

hes not, he can assure you, but it's been so long since he got groomed to such an depth extent and he really couldn't focus, it simply felt too good. but would you still do his horns even if he wasn't productive?

as weak as they are to you, you really can't say no to those pleading and wide eyes of melted gold, so he turns his chair around and you take just as good care of his horns as you did his wings.

at the end, when you're putting his things away, you have a very happy demon lord at your back and if you ask for something, if it's in his power at all, you could get it if you dared to ask.

dont be surprised if he blurts out, at some point, a question about you doing again. he'll pay you for your services of course, but you were really very good at it.

Barbatos

sorry you would like to what? Barbatos is dumbfounded at your forwardness as you ask him to let you groom him.

you have a book on grooming habits of demons under your arm and a bag in your other hand with the supplies one would need for grooming. you came fully prepared to make good on your question.

Barbatos is busy, he appreciates your offer, but-

you grin at him and hold up a paper from the bag, a note from Lord Diavolo to take the day off with his signature at the bottom. you look very proud of yourself, barbatos isn't sure if his brow should be twitching at your smugness or if he should be blushing at your forethought and kindness.

but if he has to day off, well he can't remember if he's ever gotten help before with grooming, and it had been some time since he did more than keep up his appearance. he could do with a proper in depth grooming. and he simply can't say no to those eyes of your and the hope in them.

he escorts you to his room where he quickly sets up a few pillows and blankets on the ground for comfortability and asks how you would like to do this.

goes bright red at your suggestion that he either sits almost in your lap or laid across it so you can properly reach all of his tail.

in the end he decides decides that netiher will do and lays on his stomach to have you sit on the backs of his thighs, feeling thats the least embarassing option here as he's never been groomed by another before and 1, wants to make sure he has a pillow to bite on is nessecary since his tail is sensitive so you can't hear him should he make any noises, and 2 he would rather you sit on him than lay himself across your lap, the implications are simply too sexual for such a simply matter.

(you think otherwise, this is a perfect view of his a-)

you're not going to argue if this is what hes comfortable with, so you get starts by rubbing down his tail in circular motions with a boft brush to get rid of any old loose scales. by the time you work from the base to the split in his tail, Barbatos has gone limp under you and is making a noise in his throat that sounds a hell of a lot like purring.

sexual implications and nice view nothing, he's blushing a bit only because the gentle pressure and relief that comes with someone else grooming him is something both new to him and amazing.

the split in his tail causes you pause and in that moment of clarity Barbatos gives you a few instuctions before going limp again when you get right bakc to it.

through the next brush and then rubbing oil into his tail, that's a purring mess of a happy demon beneath you.

youre laughing to yourself and trying not to show it as you poke Barbatos until he snaps out of his stupor so you can do his horns.

those are . . . very complicated, and now he smiles, sits up, and leans down as he guides your hands and shows you how to scrub and clean them off, the purr still edging his voice as you do as instructed as carefully as possible.

despite his warning that his horns are sturdier than they look, it seems so fragile so you're being very cautious to not accidentally break it. that would hurt him a lot after all.

when it's over hes right back up, but he did get a whole day off, so hes quick to offer you a hand off the floor and ask if he could treat you to a cafe he really enjoys in thanks (it could be platonic or romantic, but either way, its a date, who says no to barabtos when he invites them out?!)

Simeon

Simeon chokes on his tea when you ask if he needs help grooming. Once he can breathe he asks what makes you think that.

You tell him you'd read a book about demon grooming habits and got curious about angels, so Solomon gave you a book on angels and you knew they had a shedding season. One of the signs of shedding for an angel not using their angelic form, is the repeated shifting and rolling of the shoulders.

Simeon . . . Can't exactly deny that he's sort of agitated and it is very itchy. Normally angels help each other out during shedding season but Luke's too young to know how to really do be helpful in the way Simeon needs.

He tries to brush it off saying it's annoying but he can take care of it himself, it just takes more time. You're not having it and drag him out to go shopping and get grooming supplies, but the stores you get Simeon to agree to go to don't have what you need, so what do you do? You call Lucifer.

He's not a total dick, as the only one of his brothers who still goes through a shedding season, he has everything and is willing to let you borrow his things for the time being.

But it does mean that you have to groom Simeon in Lucifer's room, and he's not up for that. He's trying to avoid it and you can't understand why until Lucifer sighs and leaves the room, locking it behind him. Simeon then reluctantly let's you pull him to the bed and shows you his angelic form.

Once you start, he relaxes, sighing happily at the relief that comes from your mistrations and the perfect amount of pressure to soothe his wings. The brushes are a bit different than what he's used to and the oil you use smells muskies than he tends to prefer, but Simeon's not going to complain. He's very relaxed and making small happy noises until he notices Lucifer back in the room and goes tense, but your sudden tighter grip on his wing stops him from pulling them back into him.

Lucifer has to tell both of you he doesn't care about seeing Simeon's angelic form like he's so worried about, st which point you understand but then you're forcing him to calm down by undoing some of your hard work to scratch his wings.

By the time you're done, Simeon still looks a but guilty but is very grateful to the both of you. He's surprised when Lucifer offers his things and room again if he needs help, but gives a shy smile when you offer to help with the actual grooming and says he'll let you know next time he molts.

Luke

What?! You wanna help his groom his wings?!

Wh-wh-what?! But that so- but he's plenty capable of doing it himself so don't treat him like a kid!

You're not, you just want him to be comfortable! And it's easier with help, plus you like spending time with him.

Well, Luke guesses it's ok if that's the reason why.

You two settle on his bed and Luke let's his wings and halo show as you run your fingers through them, straightening feathers and pulling old loose ones out.

Luke absolutely melts at how good it feels and you two chat lazily as a baking show plays on the TV

Luke, after a while when you're almost done, is nodding off. It's been a while since anyone groomed him since he doesn't like being treated like a child (especially down here in the devildom) and usually Michael helps him.

You settle the sleeping Luke down and quietly clean up as he sleeps, but you stick around and watch over him while he sleep since he's just too cute.

Little D's

The babies need grooming too, and though they tend to help each other, they love you and love it when you offer to help them with it instead

As you groom one the others entertain you amd it's a grand old time!

Solomon

Can suck my [REDACTED]

Bro he don't need grooming!

But he'll try to get you to brush his hair and pamper him anyways!

If you like him - you might agree to it, so long as it's a mutual agreement and he'll help take care of you too.

If you do you'll find he's actually really good at braiding long hair/making short hair nice and neat and shiny.

If you don't, well you tell him to get Asmo to pamper him and watch him pout about it for a week.

Bonus Edition I Guess?

if you do this for a bunch of the boys/all of the boys, then 1, dont be surpirsed if they start bugging you for grooming more, and 2, better start charing for that shit cause it eats up your time.

and if you really wanna make good money, get the brothers or someone to just stick close and keep an eye on you and offer your services to other demons with their good reviews at your back.

Mephistophles is one of your first customers and it was Diavolo who forced him to chillax and go get groomed. however you feel about it, you're getting generously paid (and it doesn't hurt to be on the guy's good side), so he leaves loathe to admit that you are very good at it.

and if he thinks you're a decent person or whatever (i havent met the guy yet, gimme a break) you might find an endorsement in the school newspaper on how good you were.

Part 1

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