Waddles in here, places down my Dungeon Meshi insert, and waddles away into the night–

So like I was wondering if youde be ok with writing a self insert of Standley Pines bc I am such a simp and am in need of fluff. Please please Id love you forever.

Surprisingly, I've only recently noticed that I apparently have a debilitating attraction to DILFS and GILFs... Love me some Grunkle Stan!

You had just started working at Gravity Falls Town Hall and already it seemed like things in your life were taking a strange turn. I mean, yeah, the realtor had told you that it was a "vibrant and quirky" community, so you figured it would be a little odd. The rent was cheap and the apartment you were living in was better than anything you'd even heard of back in the city, so vibrant and quirky would have to do.

Still, it was the third time this month the Pines kids had been chased by unholy abominations, and the terror of seeing a not-deer get eaten by a werepanther was starting to become a little too familiar for your liking.

You needed to get out more, you decided. Thankfully, some of your coworkers had a monthly get together at one of the local diners to hang out and they were more than happy to invite you along. They told you new folks didn't come here often, but you found the community warm and welcoming all the same. Eldritch horrors aside, it was a great place to live.

Apparently you did not get the memo that it was cancelled tonight, so here you were pouring syrup over your solo lunch of pancakes and sausage when the door chimed.

It was Wendy Corduroy and she had a downright miserable expression on her face. You could see why. Robbie Valentino was hot on her heels, as usual. It didn't take a genius to see that he was head over heels for her — or that she was completely done with him. And, since nobody else seemed particularly interested in helping, you called out to her.

"Ms. Corduroy! Care to join me? I was just going over some paperwork your father submitted and I could use your help."

She gave you a soft smile and quickly slid into the booth across from you while Robbie grumbled to himself, shoved his hands in his pockets, and stormed away.

"He is persistent, isn't he?" You say with a roll of your eyes.

"I know!" She groaned miserably, slapping her face between her hands. "Thanks for the save, by the way. If he actually paid attention to me he'd know my dad doesn't do paperwork."

"Anytime, Wendy. That's what adults are for, you know?" you answered.

"Pfft, no way," she said, "You're the only cool adult in this town, man. I bet if you were mayor it wouldn't suck so bad around bere."

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not ready for that kind of responsibility," you laughed. "Besides, Mayor Cutebiker is still plenty popular. I don't think I'd have a chance."

"Whatever you say, Miss Y/N," she said with a shrug, "Mind if I eat with you? My dad and my brothers are meeting here in about 30, but I'm starving."

"Of course not, Wendy. I'd be happy for the company," you answered happily. You ate your pancakes in good company and waved her goodbye when her family arrived. You were polishing off the last of your drink and a slice of pie when the door chimed again and in came the Pines family.

You recognized the twins immediately. Where trouble brewed, the twins were at the source. Despite the threat of danger, you couldn't be angry at them. They were very kind and intelligent kids and had saved you from a gnome kidnapping earlier just this month, so you would say you were on good terms.

Then you looked up and saw the Stan brothers, Ford and Stanley. You hadn't actually met them personally yet, but you could tell by reputation alone who was who.

Ford was walking with his journal in hand, taking notes and examining the Medusa-dog's head mounted on the wall beside him while he mumbled to himself.

Stanley followed right after. Mister Mystery himself, with the usual suit and red fez you'd seem from afar and that half the town had warned you away from.

Both brothers were handsome, you realized, though Stanley was the one that stuck out to you. He had a great dad-bod, but you could tell there was some muscle under the poorly fitted suit jacket he always wore.

You blinked a few times to yourself. Man, you really had been single for too long. Your eyes met, and you offered a polite wave before looking at your mug and taking a sip. Staring probably wouldn't make a great first impression and you secretly hoped he couldn't read your thoughts.

Your reflection was interrupted the moment Mabel saw you, of course. The kid ran right over and dragged her brothers and uncles right along with her. She was sliding into the booth beside you before you even had a chance to scoot in.

"Hi, Ms. Y/n! It's me, Mabel!" she said excitedly. "Have you met my grunkles? This is Grunkle Stan, and this is Grunkle Ford!" she added, pointed to them accordingly.

"Nice to meet you both," you say, nodding at each of them. "My name is Y/n."

"Nice to meet you, Y/n. My name is Stanford Pines, and this is my brother Stanley," he added. "I don't believe I've seen you around before. Did you just move in recently?"

"Yes, a few months ago, but I've been so busy with my new job as Mayor Cutebiker's Chief Administrator that I haven't had much time to get out."

"Well, that's a shame, toots," Stan added with a sly smile and a performative wink. "You'll have to let old Stan-the-man show you the town sometime. I know this place like the back of my hand!"

"Grunkle Stan, you got lost in the mall two days ago and we had to have security come find you." Dipper added exasperatedly.

"Like the back of my hand!" Stan reiterated, using his hand to turn dip 180 degrees by his head.

"Ooh! ooh! We could give you the Pines Family Tour!" Mabel added excitedly. "We know everything, don't we Dipper."

"Well, maybe not everything, but I'm sure we could show her a couple of places," the boy added, running his nose at the praise.

"Children, Stanley, please. Let's give Ms. Y/n some peace. I believe she was finishing up as we came in, weren't you, Miss?"

"Yes, I had just finished the last of my coffee and alas, I have more work to do. But perhaps I will have to take you up on the Pines Family Tour, huh kids? And I'm sure you could show me a thing or two yourself, huh, Stan-the-man?" you laughed.

He laughed with you, but the blush burning up his cheeks as you left let you know he hadn't quite expected you to return his interest.

Man, you'd have to hang out at the diner more often.

Gigi

Image © @iguanodont

[Of all my self-insert characters, this is my self-insertiest. I consider myself to be somewhere in the Venn diagram overlap of Mary Poppins, Bugs Bunny and any given Addams, and that's the spot where Gigi comfortably holds court. She's also the manifestation of my use of friendly but weird spellcasters to steer the party in the right direction. Which means I wanted to be sure in the flavor text to emphasize that Gigi's a light touch. She's the kind of character who will craft the PCs magic items, cast a reincarnate spell if one of them dies (because it's way more fun than resurrection, plus she doesn't happen to have that many diamonds on hand...) and point them towards the next adventure, not the sort of character who will do everything herself. ]

Gigi CR 21 CG Fey This woman is fat, jolly and subtly inhuman. Her skin tone is a light purple, shading to red on her hands and feet, and her witch’s hat moves as if something growing from her head is holding it in place.

Gigi is the “Scary Fairy Godmother” of Varisia, a powerful inhuman witch who helps the people there survive the onslaughts of other monsters. Gigi is a phouka, but rarely appears in her natural form, preferring a humanoid guise. When not appearing as a human, she often takes the form of a gnome or goblin. She lives in a well-hidden cottage in the Sanos Forest, and from there ventures forth under invisibility or disguise to engage in her well-meaning meddling. Gigi prefers to act subtly by giving advice, casting beneficial spells and hexes or pointing people in the direction of a magic item or clue, rather than unleashing her true power at a moment’s notice.

When Gigi does decide to fight, she can be truly terrifying to behold. She is one of the most powerful witches in Avistan, and couples that with her natural abilities as a pooka. She usually fights under cover of invisibility, and uses debilitating spells to end combat quickly and efficiently. Gigi is proud of her magical prowess, but is well aware that a well placed knife can solve some problems spells cannot. If she is in a playful mood, or is fighting to teach a lesson rather than kill an enemy, Gigi will instead use Flyby Attack and Greater Dirty Trick to inconvenience and annoy opponents. Gigi is happy to play a support role in a fight, especially if teamed up with her right hand gal, Priscilla.

Gigi began her life as an ordinary phouka in the First World, who spent her time living hedonistically and annoying fey and mortals alike. One day, she came upon a chameleon caught in the web of a giant spider, and she let it free. She spent days watching this lizard, fascinated by its patience in hunting and movement, and followed its slow and steady journey. Eventually, the lizard led her to Mormo, the Goddess of Predators. That Great Old One had been regaining her strength and putting together her plots to strike against the Mother of Monsters Lamashtu. She had sent various reptiles out as living invitations, to extend an offer of allegiance to anyone who might notice. And Gigi was the only one who noticed.

Gigi became an instant convert and Mormo is now her patron, granting spells through that same chameleon (which Gigi named Liz). Since Mormo received a cool reception in the First World, Gigi decided to move to the Material Plane to support Mormo in the Great Game and to win her allies and converts. She chose Varisia as her home base because of the remarkable density of catastrophic events that occur there regularly, as well as the large number of adventurers fighting against said events. Gigi is the patron of several groups of adventurers, not all of whom know her real identity and agenda, and at least one of which knows her solely as a helpful disembodied voice. She is also one of the driving forces behind the increasing integration of goblins into the societies of other humanoids, as she has a soft spot for tricksy little monsters.  

Gigi      CR 21 XP 409,600 Variant phouka witch 16 (vellemancer) CG Medium fey Init +11; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Perception +38

Defense AC 44, touch 35, flat-footed 32 (+11 Dex, +1 dodge, +1 natural, +8 armor, +13 deflection) hp 440(35d6+315) Fort +25, Ref +32, Will +32; +4 vs. mind-influencing spells DR 15/cold iron; Immune disease, divination, poison; SR 23 Defensive Abilities blur, eldritch shield, invisibility

Offense Speed 40 ft., fly 40 ft. (average) Melee dagger of subtlety +30/+25/+20/+15 (1d4+9/19-20), slam +23 (1d4+3), gore +23 (1d8+3) or 2 slams +28 (1d4+7), gore +28 (1d8+7) Special Attacks hexes (DC 34, beast’s gift, delicious fright, evil eye, feral speech, fortune, regenerative sinew, slumber, speak in dreams, ward), sneak attack +5d6 Spell-like Abilities CL 12th, concentration +25 (+29 casting defensively) At will—deep slumber (DC 26), major image (DC 26), suggestion (DC 26) 3/day—baleful polymorph (DC 28), blindness/deafness (DC 26), confusion (DC 27), dimension door, fear (DC 27), mirage arcana (DC 28), telekinesis (DC 28) 1/day—feeblemind (DC 28), greater shadow conjuration (DC 30), irresistible dance (DC 31),  phantasmal killer (DC 27), song of discord (DC 29) Spells CL 16th, concentration +32 (+36 casting defensively) 8th—demand (DC 34), horrid wilting (DC 34), maze, mind blank (already cast), prediction of failure (DC 34) 7th—harm (DC 33), heal (DC 33), jolting portent, shadow body, umbral strike (DC 33), waves of ecstasy (DC 33) 6th—cone of cold (DC 32), flesh to stone (DC 32), geas/quest, greater dispel magic, greater heroism, stone to flesh  5th—cure critical wounds (DC 31), greater forbid action (DC 31), inflict critical wounds (DC 31), overland flight (already cast), pernicious pranksters, reincarnate, waves of fatigue 4th—blessing of fervor, charm monster (x2, DC 30), death ward, debilitating portent, inveigle person (DC 30), neutralize poison (DC 30), wandering star motes (DC 30) 3rd—aversion (DC 29), bestow curse (DC 29, already cast), clairaudience/clairvoyance, fly, helping hand, remove blindness/deafness, speak with dead (DC 29), vampiric touch 2nd—anticipate peril (x2), cure moderate wounds (DC 28, x5), ghostly disguise (x2), inflict moderate wounds (DC 28, x5), mortal terror (DC 28, x2) 1st—charm person (DC 27), doom (DC 27, x2), identify, ill omen (x2), ray of enfeeblement (DC 27), vocal alteration (DC 27) 0th—arcane mark, dancing lights, detect magic, read magic Patron—Fate

Tactics Before Combat Gigi casts mind blank and overland flight on herself each morning. She also casts a bestow curse (-4 to all attack rolls, saving throws, skill and ability checks) into her witching gown each morning Contingency Whenever Gigi is reduced to 100 hit points or below, she is teleported to the hidden basement of her house in the Sanos Forest

Statistics Str 25, Dex 32, Con 28, Int 42, Wis 22, Cha 36 Base Atk +17; CMB +28 (+32 dirty trick); CMD 60 (62 vs. dirty trick) Feats Accursed Hex, Agile Maneuvers, Bouncing Spell-like Ability (baleful polymorph), Combat Casting, Combat Expertise, Craft Wondrous Item, Dodge, Eschew Materials, Extra Hex (x3: evil eye, feral speech, ward), Flyby Attack, Greater Dirty Trick, Improved Dirty Trick, Mobility, Quick Draw, Spell Penetration, Weapon Finesse Skills Acrobatics +43, Appraise +51, Bluff +49, Diplomacy +49, Disable Device +33, Disguise +45, Escape Artist +43, Fly +43, Heal +38, Intimidate +49, Knowledge (arcana, local, nature, planes) +48, Knowledge (dungeoneering, religion) +45, Knowledge (history, nobility) +51, Linguistics +36, Perception +38, Sense Motive +38, Sleight of Hand +43, Spellcraft +48, Stealth +46, Use Magic Device +45 Languages Abyssal, Aklo, Common, Draconic, Elven, Gnome, Halfling, Sylvan, telepathy 100 ft, 20 others Gear tome of clear thought +4 (expended), manual of bodily health +4 (expended), headband of mental superiority +6 (Appraise, Knowledge (history), Knowledge (nobility)), belt of physical might +6 (Str, Dex), dagger of subtlety (as sword of subtlety), hat of fortune’s favor (as headband), cackling hag’s blouse, witching gown, lesser cloak of displacement, periapt of health and proof against poison, bracers of armor +8, goggles of minute seeing, metamagic rod of Quicken Spell, rod of abrupt hexes, staff of vision, wand of cure serious wounds, ring of wizardry II, ring of spell turning, contingency statuette, scrying mirror, 4,000 gp worth of crafting supplies, 2 doses of herbs and oils for reincarnate spells, 80 pp, 7 gp Spells Known As above, plus resurrection, greater teleport, contingency (as 6th level spell), break enchantment, hold monster, teleport, scrying, secure shelter, spite, remove disease, tongues, bear’s endurance, bull’s strength, cat’s grace, eagle’s splendor, fox’s cunning, owl’s wisdom, mage armor, cantrips SQ change shape (Small or Medium humanoid or Tiny to Large fey, alter self or fey shape II), legendary, quick change, scry on familiar, selective invisibility

Special Abilities Eldritch Shield (Su) Gigi gains her Charisma modifier as a deflection bonus to Armor Class and Combat Maneuver Defense. Expanded Wishgranter (Su): A vellemancer adds the following spells to her familiar for free: bear’s endurance, bull’s strength, cat’s grace, eagle’s splendor, fox’s cunning, and owl’s wisdom. The vellemancer can cast these spells only as part of her wishgranter ability, but she can sacrifice any prepared spell of 2nd level or lower to spontaneously cast one of these spells. Invested Hex (Su): Each day, Gigi can implant a number of hexes equal to half her witch level  plus her Intelligence bonus (24/day for Gigi). Any given creature can have only one hex implanted at a given time, and implanting a new hex ends the previous one (the witch still loses the use of this ability she spent on the previous hex). Only beneficial hexes capable of affecting another creature can be implanted with invested hex, and this counts against the uses per day of hexes with limited uses per day or per creature. To implant a hex, the vellemancer must take a standard action and touch a willing creature. The vellemancer can activate the hex as a free action, or the hex can activate automatically when a single predetermined condition is met (decided when the hex is implanted). The subject must be within medium range (100 feet + 10 feet per level) for the witch to trigger the hex, but a predetermined condition can activate the hex regardless of range. An implanted hex lasts until the next time the witch regains her spells. Once triggered, a hex is no longer implanted and can’t be triggered again. Invisibility (Su) Gigi remains invisible even when she attacks. She can activate or suppress this ability as a free action. Legendary (Ex) Gigi's statistics are built off of 25 point buy and she has the equipment of a 20th level PC. This increases her CR by 1. Quick Change (Su) Gigi can use her change shape ability as a move action. Selective Invisibility (Su) When a phouka is invisible, it can choose to be visible to a single creature. A phouka can later choose to become invisible to that creature as well, but if that creature succeeds a DC 32 Will save, it can still see that phouka for the next 24 hours. The save DC is Charisma based. Wishgranter (Su): A vellemancer can borrow mental strength from others’ hopes and dreams to empower her own spellcasting. A creature can make a wish as a free action at any time, even during the vellemancer’s turn. The vellemancer must be able to hear and understand a wish in order to use it as a spell component. A spell that doesn’t normally have a verbal component gains one when cast using this ability. A wish doesn’t need to mention the name of a specific spell, but it must describe an outcome that can be accomplished by casting a spell the vellemancer knows (for example, wishing to be more likable could supply the verbal component for alter self, eagle’s splendor, or even baleful polymorph, depending on the results). A vellemancer gains a +1 bonus to her caster level when using a creature’s wish as a verbal component in this manner, but she cannot include herself as a target of such spells. She can be affected by such a spell if it affects an area rather than one or more targets. A vellemancer is under no compulsion to grant a creature’s wish. Once the vellemancer grants a creature’s wish using this ability, she cannot use this ability to grant that creature any further wishes for 24 hours.

Liz CR N/A Variant lizard (chameleon) familiar (pilferer archetype) N Tiny magical beast (augmented animal) Init +2; Senses low-light vision; Perception +1

Defense AC 30, touch 14, flat-footed 28 (+2 Dex, +2 size, +8 natural, +8 armor) hp 220 (effectively 35 HD) Fort +10, Ref +18, Will +22 SR 21 (31 vs. divinations) Defensive Abilities nondetection

Offense Speed 20 ft., climb 20 ft. Melee bite +21 (1d4–4) Space 2-1/2 ft.; Reach 0 ft.

Statistics Str 3, Dex 15, Con 8, Int 13, Wis 12, Cha 2 Base Atk +17; CMB +17 (+21 steal); CMD 23 (25 vs. steal, 27 vs. trip) Feats Greater Steal (B), Improved Steal (B), Weapon Finesse Skills Acrobatics +38, Bluff +25, Climb +10, Diplomacy +25, Disable Device +22, Disguise +25, Escape Artist +34, Fly +34,  Knowledge (arcana, dungeoneering, local, nature, planes, religion) +30, Linguistics +21, Perception +33, Sense Motive +30, Sleight of Hand +42, Spellcraft +30, Stealth +54, Use Magic Device +25; Racial Modifiers +4 Acrobatics, +4 Stealth Languages speak with master Gear bracers of armor +8, wand of scorching ray (50 charges), contingency statuette SQ empathic link,share spells, sneak

Special Abilities Contingency: Is Liz is ever swallowed whole, she teleports back to a spot ten feet outside of Gigi’s house. Sneak (Ex) Liz gains a competence bonus equal to half of Gigi’s witch caster level on Sleight of Hand and Stealth checks. Variant Lizard (Ex) As a chameleon, Liz gains a +4 racial bonus to Acrobatics and Stealth checks, instead of the normal lizard racial skill bonus. As a familiar, a chameleon grants a +3 bonus to Stealth.

My backup wizard (who I'm so fucking excited to play btw)

I've told you about him before, but I've got some more shit down now. So he's a gnome necromancer wizard. His name is Wally (short for He Who Makes The Dead Walk) and his legal name is Drosera Belladonna Geoff Zarghit Altec Brynnon Alfinas [insert 6 more names here].

He's a forest gnome who was born amongst other gnomes in a forest community. Said community was extremely wholesome and supportive, the best sort of environment to grow up in. Until one day, they were hit by some sort of curse, leaving everyone dead, except Drosera, who at that point was at an age just before puberty.

Said catastrophe drew the attention of a bunch of powerful wizards, one of which found Drosera. Both feeling bad for the kid, and knowing he must have a powerful natural affinity to magic to survive such a curse, he took him home to Candlekeep.

Here in Candlekeep, Drosera started learning how to work with the weave, he soon proved himself to indeed be a gifted wizard. He specifically showed a lot of affinity towards necromancy, the very same school of magic that killed his entire family.

His mentor, believing it's very dangerous to make any school of magic taboo, decided to teach him necromancy and how to use it responsibly.

Of course, said school of magic still plants fear into people, and quickly rumours started to spread about an evil wizard who makes the dead walk again. Jokingly, this caused the people close to him to start calling him Wally, and it stuck (although his mentor still calls him Drosera).

Currently, he lives in the Candlekeep library, but often travels all across Faerûn.

He wears black with green robes, often wearing his hood, which then covers his face. He has a shepherd's staff with a skull where normally there would be a bell. He's 90 cm tall and probably the nicest little fuck you'll ever come across.

wonderful little summary! I do enjoy it when characters have unnecessarily long names

Cabinet of Oddities -Part 1 - TavxGale (Fanfic)

I have decided to jump on the actual story bandwagon with my changeling Nana (tav). Honestly, I love her too much so here is part 1

Summary: "Mamma, I believe that creature is a changeling: she is a perfect cabinet of oddities, but I should be dull without her; she amuses me a great deal more than you or Lucy Snowe." - Villette - Charlotte Brontë Nana is a changeling who has done an excellent job keeping this quiet. After spending her life alone she comes across a group of adventurers looking to save themselves from their new parasites. She follows after them, humouring herself with their remarks and eventually thinks, is being alone really worth it?

Ao3 Link

It had been two days since the changeling Nana woke up on the Sword Coast. Her head was spinning and body aching after the Nautiloid crashed. She could feel the tadpole twisting and turning in her skull and no matter the form she took, it was still there. “Well, this is certainly a new one.” she said out loud to herself. After living alone for so long, without conversation with others, talking to herself had become a regular occurance. Maybe she had gone a little mad over time or maybe she no longer cared about looking strange. Either way she’d been happy residing alone in her swamp, reading a journal for what seemed like the a millionth time, when suddenly she had found herself upon the mindflayer ship. The next thing she knew it was falling from the sky and she was clinging onto the edge of the pod by her fingertips.

Nana could not believe she was still alive. She ran her hands along her body looking for any signs of injury before looking around the area. “Elf?, check, human?, check, me?, check. That’s the important ones ready and able.” She morphed through various personas as she spoke. It was easy and natural to her as breathing. “Ok, let’s go!” she exclaimed before wandering along the coastline aimlessly. Bodies were scattered around, clearly victims of the crash. Her life had always been one of scavenging and hunting so checking for trinkets and supplies was nothing new, she just had to make sure they were dead first. 

She would come upon a body and give it a kick with her boot first before then checking the pockets and any bags, making sure not to make eye contact with the corpse. People looking at her, no matter her form, had always made her feel uncomfortable. It was as if they knew what she was and they were trying to find her weakness. Too many times had she been hunted down, people believing the unfactual books, or confusing her with a doppelganger. This is what had driven her to a life of solitude, only appearing in more common forms to trade with the nearby villages.    

She continued to trek for three more days before eventually coming across a band of adventurers. She watched them with great interest as they argued over different topics, Mindflayers, The Grove, spellings of names. How anyone could spell the name Will wrong, she didn't understand, but despite all this she continued to follow them. She had enjoyed watching people from afar for most of her life. She liked to assign them backstories. Was that elf secretly a spy? Or maybe that gnome was a cursed giant. She’d write in her journal all the conversations she’d observed and then play them out acting each part in a different form. Sometimes she would insert herself in the stories she made for them. Maybe she would marry a handsome knight or be saved from an evil wizard. It wasn't a lonely life, at least not in her eyes. Things were simply safer this way. 

And so after seeing this strange party, she continued after them. Watching them, listening, writing down their conversations. I’ll say one thing for our troupe - we’re not short on drama. She enjoyed this individual the most. The one in the purple who spoke so elegantly. She liked the way his voice lilted up and down and how his face would scrunch when he was unimpressed with something. Her evenings were filled flicking back and forth between forms, one moment as this man and the next as a dark haired half elf.

“You seem to know a good deal about our condition, Gale.” The half-elf’s voice was all high and regal. Nana morphed quickly, her physical body changing to that of the human wizard and her voice altering, becoming deeper and more suave. “Everything, really - not to put too fine a point on it.” She changed back to the half-elf just as quickly with a smile on her face. “A humble specimen, aren't you?” She laughed at herself at the newfound amusement and turned back again. “On occasion.” 

“These people are much more interesting than villagers,” Nana confirmed to herself. She knew that she would have to meet them. They had far too many stories amongst themselves and upon hearing how accepting they were of the vampire elf they had picked up, a very small hope rose up that maybe they would accept her too. She transformed herself into a human, braided her long blonde hair and armed with her preferred green eyes, she slowly approached the campsite. 

asking bc i wanna know what other ppl think and cant decide what i wanna be LMAO. making another self-insert but i have no idea what i wanna be. normally id just go w/ whatever horned race there is but i feel no particular attachment to tieflings ?? might be bc of music.

also im 100% a bard ive taken like fifty quizzes or something and i keep getting bard. yknow even ignoring the fact that i sing and play musical instruments irl

Jaina was never supposed to be a villain. She did not destroy Orgrimmar, although she had every right to do so, and as time proved, this is exactly what should have done, but she decided to spare the horde, because Thrall said that she would become like Garrosh (Blizzard has interesting priorities, starting wars is ok, revenge is bad). Thrall is a villain in this story more than Garrosh, because he literally told Jaina when she suggested that he discuss the Ashenvale/barrens war, he said "not my problem anymore"). She lost many people she took responsibility for when they followed her to Kalimdor.

In the days to come, Jaina worked tirelessly to rally as many refugees as she could. Not everyone she met agreed to go with her, but many did. When she finally set sail for Kalimdor, her force included members from nearly every Alliance race. Some were survivors from Lordaeron and Quel’Thalas. Some were dwarves and gnomes from the Alliance military. And some were humans from Stromgarde, Kul Tiras, and other nations in the region. Though they came from different places, they followed Jaina Proudmoore for the same reason. She represented something that had almost entirely vanished from the Eastern Kingdoms. She represented hope.

And yet, when she agreed to become the leader of Dalaran, she decided that the city would stay neutral because she wanted to continue Rhonnin's work to preserve the unity of the Kirin-Tor and protect magic from all sorts of Kael and Kel-Thuzad 2.0. Despite her feelings and wishes, she still believed if Dalaran survives, then the rest of Azeroth would have a chance. She still believed in "sane" horde.

What if the Horde killed your friends? Your family? Destroyed everything your had. Could you maintain your conviction even then? To be honest, I struggle. Every. Day. You seem to understand my struggle. Every day, the hard decisions. Every night… the nightmares. But I have a responsibility to preserve the Kirin Tor. - ''The Fate of Dalaran."

But Jaina did not take into account that the Kirin-Tor is not really united and the elves continue to help the horde steal valuable artifacts that can arrange another Theramore bit worse.

The night elves learned that the Divine Bell was stolen. This much we anticipated. However, they've also found out that the "neutral" SunreaverS of Dalaran were complicit. Now, we've got a situation. - 'The Situation In Dalaran'. We know where the Alliance have hidden the Divine Bell. We've already inserted an agent into enemy territory, we just need you to help him execute his mission[...]Furthermore, the SunreaverS of Dalaran are risking their neutrality by assisting the Horde with this operation. - 'Insertion'.

The Alliance obtained the bell and brought it to Darnassus in order to keep it out of the war and Garrosh. The night elves called Jaina to put up a barrier around the city so no one could carry it out of the city. And you can't say that Jaina violated her neutrality, because she didn't. She did the same what Rhonnin had done:

“I and several others will be arriving shortly to lend our assistance in the defense of Theramore. I stress the word ‘defense.’ We will protect, but we will make no offensive moves. Our greatest hope is that our presence will serve as a deterrent. Is this fully understood?” - Rhonnin, Tides of War.

“Dalaran is neutral,” said Modera. “We went to Theramore only to protect and advise.” - Modera, Tides of War.

and Aethas (who did much more, but Jaina did not expel him for this. So, draw the conclusion, assistance of this kind does not equate to participation in the war):

We are trying to uncover the secrets of one of the mogu artifacts Garrosh insisted we investigate. It is proving most difficult, as anyone who probes it magically is greatly affected by raw, negative emotions. I called in the assistance of Arch-mage Aethas of the Sunreavers in the hopes that he and Rommath could crack this puzzle. They asked for you specifically - apparently you have some relevant experience? Go to the chamber below Farstrider Square east of here and see if you can assist them. - 'What's in the Box'.

But the Sunreavers (this is not a bunch of random elves, but a political organization) still stole the WMDs. AGAIN. Aethas is well aware of this, but decides to remain silent. Jaina at first believes that "locals' did it, but when she finds traces leading to sunreavers she understands everything perfectly and decides that she's done with their shit.

The night elves learned that the Divine Bell was stolen. This much we anticipated. However, they've also found out that the "neutral" Sunreavers of Dalaran were complicit. Now, we've got a situation. - 'The Situation In Dalaran'.

For too long, I have toiled to mend fences between Alliance and Horde. Time and time again, I've given the Horde the benefit of the doubt - and time and time again, they stab me in the back. I refuse to be betrayed again! If the Horde intends to use the Kirin Tor as a weapon against the Alliance, then they have no place in Dalaran. - 'Jaina's Resolution'.

She gave them a choice twice: 'Compliant Sunreavers will be sent to the Violet Hold. Defiant ones put to the sword. Jail or death, their fate is in their own hand'. Jaina walked around the city and teleported the elves and killed those who raised weapons at her. Most of the work was done by the high elves, who were not averse to kill their enemies.

Jaina's gone over the edge. She's imprisoning the Sunreavers and attacking those who resist. What's worse, the Silver Covenant has seized the opportunity to join the bloodshed. - Rommath

Tyrande kills her own people to free Illidan (who was banished later) - this is fine, good girl, Jaina does the same but after second betrayel - eViL and villian!

This selective blindness pisses me off. Oh, why so cruel to the poor sunreavers? The Sunreavers provided the aggressor with weapons of mass destruction that destroyed an entire city. Ah, don't you feel sorry for all those inhabitants of Theramore, only the poor elves?But the sunreavers had not stoped there, they stole another dangerous weapon for the aggressor, what threatened to turn into no less victims. The prince himself almost died correcting their deeds.But no, you only feel sorry for the elves, who did nothing but turned out to be guilty of the death of thousands of people.

The soft purple glow heralded the blanket of arcane energy that enveloped Theramore. The mana bomb, so thoughtfully provided by the blood elves—who stood cheering with other Horde members who somehow felt that what Garrosh had wrought was a good thing—had exploded over an entire city and had not just harmed its citizens and buildings but crushed them utterly. - 'Tides of War'.

It's all nonsense. Aethas was a member of the council. But Aethas betrayed Dalaran by knowing about the crimes committed by his subordinates, he hid it, and did nothing at all. He fled, abandoned his elves, though he could have done anything for those who had suffered innocently for his mistakes. But Aethas only fooled and lied to his own lord that he knew nothing about the crimes of the sunreavers.

Ah, yes, all imprisoned elves Jaina sent home to Silvermoon long ago. But no one will return the dead Theramorians. Most of all, I feel sorry for those who ended up in Orgrimmar. And even here, Jaina only offered to dismantle the horde. It would've solve all problems in general. But noooo, it's not allowed.

She didn't say kill. She said dismantle. She asserted that the Horde should no longer self-govern. Not at all, man. Jaina doesn't trust the Horde to self-govern... Can you blame her?

Next up is Garrosh' stupid trial, written by stupid Christie Golden. Jaina "silently" reconciles with Thrall, but they do not become friends again. Kalec tells her that if she doesn't stop wanting revenge on Garrosh, because of her feelings hurt HIM and Jaina… agrees (great message, christie). Why the hell did she help him in the Dawn of the Aspects, it would be better to throw him right in Northrend. Jaina is almost killed, then healed, the Red Crane gives her (and everyone else) the appropriate buff, and Jaina feels happiness (it's a buff, remember). However, she does not forgive the horde and does not begin to collect flowers with the horde from the same field, but leaves revenge behind.

She helps both the Alliance and the Horde to make the ring more powerful . She does not want to help the horde and makes it clear with her whole appearance and she says that she will watch over the Horde, but still helps. But no, that's not enough for you, she's been rude to the horde!!! - eViL and villian!

She is annoyed by another betrayal and says that the alliance should be ready for war with both legion and the horde, because the horde will be plotting against the alliance. Dalaran will protect the territory of the alliance, but Jaina will not let the horde come close to the city How eViL she is! Doesn't want to trust the horde. And guess what the horde did when when they were allowed to return?

The saboteur was from the Horde - one of my own Sunreavers, in fact. There are those on the Council who strongly opposed allowing us back into the Kirin Tor in the first place. As you can imagine, this gives them all the ammunition they need to lobby for our expulsion yet again. And if that happens, our truce will shatter and Azeroth will surely fall to the Legion. - Aethas Sunreaver.

And what did the horde do next? They Immediately started a new war. Because the Horde has always done this, from the very beginning of the story, and majority members of the Horde never regret anything.

When the Horde set fire to Stormwind, Jaina chose to help save the citizens instead of killing some horde leaders. When the alliance attacked Dazar'Alor, she gave the order not to touch civilians, and Genn gave the king a choice - surrender or die. How eViL and VilLiAn!

The only crazy part was when Afrasiabi unofficially left the team during the development of 8.1.5 and he was replaced by Steve Danuzer. Then, Jaina made 360 and forgave the horde, ruining all her development in almost 10 years.

Jaina did not spread the plague, she did not destroy cities using it, she did not raise the dead, she was not a tyrant in relation to her own people, she did not deprive the living of their mind, she did not send her soldiers to torture for the slightest disobedience. And some believed that she burned Teldrassil to frame the horde, while not having any basis for this at all. Jaina had never done such a thing and didn't even want to. She was never supposed to be a villain.

wow metas: Peace treaty between the horde and the alliance, war during cataclysm, Theramore was a part of the alliance

Bells Hells Self Ship: Chetney Edition

Alright I said I was going to do ship ramblings, and now it is time for cr3 stuff with my lovely insert, Bunny Autumnrose. I want to do one with every member that I ship her with romantically, because or else it will be too long!! This one is going to be specifically with her and the ridiculous ass old gnome who somehow wrestled his way in her heart lmao

♡♡ There won't be a lot of plot spoilers, however there might be a few things mildly mentioned that could be possible spoilers. I would be careful if you'd like to avoid them for the campaign!! Also a bit of a warning for spicy mentions throughout. Bunny uses they/she pronouns. ♡♡

Other Ships -> Fearne, Launda, Dorian, Imogen, Bertrand

Though I haven't completely decided when Bunny makes her first appearance, I know it's rather early on. And when Chet first meets her it's like fucking love at first sight for him. He is immediately fucking swooning over the "big bunny lady" and follows her around like a goddamn lost puppy. This only gets worse throughout the time that they spend together.

Bunny is very oblivious to most advances thrown her way, and this one is no different. Even when he is being very blatant, she doesn't even notice the way he is constantly fucking drooling. She will eventually get the hint bc of multiple comments tossed her way, but it will take a bit for her to catch up.

Chet definitely finds her oblivious nature cute, playing around with it to his favor sometimes. There's multiple interactions where he is flirting with her harder and harder, and it's only when she catches on that she has little quips in response. All of which make it seem that she finds it flattering, but isn't planning to reciprocate.

There were a few times when the group was first discovering his wolf side that Bunny was a bit flustered, though she would never admit it out loud this early. She would make a few comments to anyone nearby, and it would be no secret that she saw some kind of appeal with his werewolf form.

There's a constant banter between the two of them that she is unavailable, even though she is gaining relationships with the rest of the group left and right. He is insanely determined, even though she is shutting him down a bit more insistently. Which is hilarious considering her relationship with Fearne (that started VERY early on).

They grow a bit of a friendship through the course of time together, and even though she still shuts him down, she openly admits that he makes her laugh. Multiple times she is sweet to him, though she quickly regrets it after the comments and flirting that it's followed up with.

She suggests that he should make her something when prompted (however I'm still deciding what that is), along with the rest of the group. However, Chet ends up gifting her an additional item that he made for her himself. A beautiful jewelry box for all of her trinkets, hair accessories, and other things she wears constantly. Adding little details from all their conversations that she would like, especially the addition of her favorite flowers.

This moment is one of the first that they share an actual intimate moment, and it's followed by the cutest little interaction with them. Him winking at her to not tell anyone, or they'll think that he's playing favorites. Her giggling. Like COME ON YOU TWO--

Things begin to heat up between them during the party split, and it starts to become a bit more physical between them. Bunny hadn't expected things to take such a sharp turn, however it never did quite stop after that. She came to enjoy their newfound change, though his cockiness left her feeling conflicted. In many ways that she wouldn't like to admit as well.

Whenever she started catching feelings, it became quite obvious to mainly Dawn (@self-shipping-angel's insert) and a few others over time, however Bunny herself was oblivious to her own. In fact, she had to be told to pay attention a few times, before she fully understood just how fucked she had become when it came to the old gnome.

She was able to hide it pretty well, until she couldn't and one by one everyone started to catch on that things were different with her especially. Even with small little teasing quips from Chet, nobody believed it until Bunny was getting nervous and acting different overall around him.

A series of events, mainly spearheaded by Ashton and Imogen looking to cause a stir, would prompt the truth to come out. A spiral into Chet deciding to make this big grand gesture that went way out of hand and ended up leaving Bunny more embarrassed than fucking wooed. Thus resulting in a story that the group will never let either live it down.

The group as a whole would push her into confessing sooner than she had wanted to, if not just for the sanity of everyone involved. Her nervousness would be rather cute and working a bit in her favor, having no problems getting him alone on a walk to have this rather private conversation. Though some would follow to eavesdrop because they're nosy fucks lmao

Bunny admits to having some feelings that she's still figuring out that are most definitely more than she expected. She also might confess to finding the effort he put in to being romantic with her rather sweet, though it was a tiny bit over the top. Not that he isn't going to do it again... and again...

The night ended with them having another rather cutely intimate moment, with him gifting her a flower that she wears in her hair from then on, ultimately changing their relationship by a small bit. Until Bunny is ready for something else, which only further time together will tell~

I told my father once about wanting to write a book, and showed him the first scene i had written, and he said it was good but that it lacked some sort of hook. He phrased it like "What is special about the protagonist? [Insert several examples about media he knew i read/watched even if he had only vague knowledge of them, amongst those 'You know in lord of the rings where he is the boy that lives with the gnomes']"

And I've been thinking about being extraordinary and another book i started and then put aside today because if exactly this topic, and i decided just now that when I'm writing that book, i will write about someone completely ordinary.

And not in a humorous exploration of the chosen one trope where just some guy stumbles through a fantasy world, even tho i like those stories, and also not in the "they themselves and everyone else thinks they are just ordinary and it seems they are but in the last few chapters it turns out that they are the secret heir to the magic throne".

"But why are they the protagonist of your book then? What will you be writing about?" you may ask. Well. What makes them special is the fact that I love them and want to give them everything they deserve.

Happily N’Ever After (2006)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

You can’t believe Happily N’Ever After was made in 2006, much less that it was released in theatres. This obvious attempt to cash in on the success of Shrek and its sequels is dreadful. Its funny moments are as rare as photos of Sasquatch, the animation is cheap, the voice acting poor, the writing deplorable and the plot ill-conceived. I wanted nothing more than for it to end.

In the realm of fairytales, the Wizard (George Carlin) oversees the balance of good and evil, ensuring every prince and princess gets a happy ending. When he goes on vacation, his assistants Munk (Wallace Shawn) and Mambo (Andy Dick) accidentally disturb the equilibrium. When Ella “Cinderella” (Sarah Michelle Gellar) is invited to the royal ball and given a magical makeover by her fairy godmother, her evil stepmother Frieda (Sigourney Weaver) takes advantage of the Wizard’s absence and takes control of the kingdom. While Cinderella looks for her lost Prince (Patrick Warburton), the palace dishwasher, Rick (Freddie Prinze, Jr.) decides to accompany her, secretly hoping she’ll realize the royal is not the man she’s been dreaming of.

Take a look at any frame and you’ll wonder where the $47 million budget went. Happily N'Ever After looks like a PlayStation 2 game, or a very professional supermarket commercial for a local chain. The character designs are ugly and the backgrounds are largely empty. Clearly, the animators didn’t have the means to accomplish what they wanted. I’ve never directed a film, much less an animated one but my understanding is that a director’s job is to look at the script, screenplay and storyboards and figure out how to bring it all to life. Why spend the money to develop seven gnomes when Cinderella could’ve just as easily met Dorothy’s Three Bears? Why did the Wizard need two assistants when just one bumbler would’ve sufficed? I know hindsight is 20-20. Nonetheless, anyone with an unbiased eye would’ve taken a look at what was on-screen and said “this isn’t working”.

Then again, why try to make Happily N’Ever After look good when the story is utterly worthless? The characters are so flat and uninteresting it’s a struggle to stay awake. You don’t care about Cinderella because so little time is spent with her between all of the side characters, the kingdom and the rest of the world. You care even less about Rick, who feels like a self-insert from a bad fan fiction. Frieda gladly calls herself evil, which might fit in a normal fairy tale, but this is supposed to be a deconstruction of the Brothers Grimms’ stories. You’re so bored with the lame romance at the film's center you begin questioning everything. I’d bring you along the mental journey but what’s the use when no thought went into any of this? The world of Happily N’Ever After makes no sense.

Unsurprisingly, the voice acting is horrendous. I can’t blame the performers. The dialogue is uninspired, cheesy and lame. It’s as if the casting director had a bunch of celebrities chained up in his basement but didn’t have the torture instruments required to break true a-listers and instead had to settle for the bottom of the barrel - no offense to anyone in this movie but we've seen performances elevate rickety material before and that's not what's happening here.

Did I mention this is a musical? Indeed, Happily N'Ever After features a collection of uninspired tunes and unmemorable lyrics perfectly fit for the rest of the film. Are we forgetting anything else? Can any more criticisms be thrown at this target? It deserves every single one of them, that’s for sure.

Every aspect of Happily N’Ever After ranges from lackluster to pathetic. It’s impossible to imagine anyone ever calling this their favorite film and the idea of it being the first - or last film - someone ever saw fills me with despair. The knowledge of a sequel existing out there brings suicidal thoughts to mind. I had to sit through this, and there’s another one too? Is there no justice in this world? (January 11, 2019)

Hiya, this will probably be a throwaway post as I’m not planning on linking this in the directory but I have a few story ideas I wanna at least flesh out into existence before I forget them haha

So for story idea 1 it would be a reader insert/isekai since it would take place in the Legend of Zelda Universe- more specifically whenever Breath of the Wild takes place. So the story is basically the reader being dropped into BOTW to guide Link to the castle to defeat Ganon -yada yada except that you attempt to bring courage to the once courageous silent knight as he’s now terrified out of his mind about all this sealing darkness junk. As the games story goes you will visit each champions homeland, solve shrine puzzles, and now will also have more than just one companion as the descendants of said champions join along on your journey. That’s all I’ve really got so far because Sidon has my heart istg- oh and as for the Rito descendant (I can’t remember his name and I know they’re not all related but just go with it for the moment) with those that are already married he wouldn’t be included in what will become a sort of reverse harem because I don’t want to encourage cheating or anything of the sort! Though if & when I write this I may write him to be single lol.

That’s all I’ve got for that story thus far but if and when I write said story I’m not sure if I want Link to obtain the champions abilities, have the reader obtain them instead, split the abilities with Link, or better yet maybe the descendants could obtain them rather than the reader or Link. Anywho- moving in to the next story idea!

So for the next idea- this legit just popped into my head so it’s a very rough idea but it would be adorable if I were to write this out I think! So the story would be about a girl (or for tumblr sake/my own a reader insert) who stumbles on something she probably shouldn’t have as she sees a big foot- long story short it’s a meet cute(?) on a girl finding a Sasquatch/bigfoot that isn’t how they tend to be described. In this story I’d go into detail about how other mythical creatures such as fairies, gnomes, witches, etc. also live in the world without being found out by humans. Despite MC being human- bf decides to befriend said human and eventually this devolves into a cute little romance that eventually will overcome different obstacles that any mystical creature in love with a human would have to eventually face. Again- would probably be a very cute story that didn’t have a really clear ending and would eventually have a small happy ending that I’d later down the line consider either drawing or possibly publishing (saying this as if I know how lmao).

Finally- I’d like to apologize for being so inactive on this page- though I’m sure not many miss me I will try to be more active now that I finished my summer classes!! And for future note- if I’m ever inactive it’s probably because I’m either busy or lazy in all honesty. If I did worry anyone though- I do apologize. When I’ve slept and make it back home (at moms at the moment) I’ll probably write a small idea that I have for the UDDUP(?) story- sort of b-plot that has me in its clutches.

Currently is 3:35 a.m. so with all this said I bid whomever you are adieu and hope you enjoy the show :)

Cayden let's gooo have a bunch of numbers: 1, 3, 6, 7, 29, 35 And for you about Cayden: D, F, G, H

Ayyy : D

I'm gonna write the questions from memory here because mobile is clunky with copying text.

For anyone interested, basic character info:

Cayden is a character I roleplay in a Pathfinder 1e game. He's a gnome, a sorcerer of the unicorn bloodline, currently level 8. I reblog art with him here, it should be in my art or Cayden or pathfinder tags on this blog.

Questions about him:

1. How long can he stay still with nothing to do?

Probably about 5 minutes, even locked in an empty cell he'll look for ways to entertain himself. He can make himself sit still and wait for something when it's needed, but there has to be some kind of reward at the end keeping him excited (sitting through a boring lecture while infiltrating a cult, staying hidden waiting for an ambush, generally being patient when patience is needed to get something that he wants).

3. How does he put himself to sleep?

Depends if adventuring or not, because he ideally likes to put himself to sleep with someone else sharing his bed after a good time and that's probably how his evenings look whenever possible. When not possible, he falls asleep fast, sorcerers need their beauty sleep. Before falling asleep he mostly thinks about whatever topic is the most relevant at the moment, or about friends and family, stuff like that.

6. Does he see laws as flexible or immovable?

Definitely flexible. He understands why they exist and agrees they are needed, some of them at least, but treats them mostly as guidelines and believes that there shouldn't be consequences when the reason to break them is good enough.

7. Is he nostalgic? How is the nostalgia triggered? Is it a positive feeling?

He's very nostalgic (such a self insert trait lol) and gains satisfaction from feeling nostalgia. He collects experiences in a way and looks back at them emotionally as achievements in a way. Maybe nostalgia is not a good word, I use it interchangeably with "sentiment" and I probably shouldn't. Anyway true nostalgia is triggered for him by familiar food, sheep cheese for example and mountainous landscapes and air. It's comforting for him but he doesn't want to go back to the past, he lives mostly in the moment.

29. Does he live up to his standards?

Uhhh that's a hard one... But I think mostly yeah? He does what he can and he knows that.

35. How does he react to someone coming to him excited about something?

He easily gets excited and is supportive as a character but in roleplay it's been hard sometimes. On one hand he's a character that loves new things and experiences and on the other when a friend decided to spend all of his gold on magic chocolates with random effects (not always positive on top of that) as preparation for our expedition to the island near which Cayden almost died in the past... it was hard to be supportive in that case, even though stuff like this would normally be right up his alley.

Questions for me:

D: Did his physical appearance stay the same?

For the most part, yeah. His appearance got more streamlined in drawings over time, but I've always had pretty much the same picture in my mind. I adjusted some minor details at the very beginning that just didn't work well and he got much slimmer but that's mostly due to me figuring out gnome anatomy.

F: What do I feel when thinking about him?

I feel some kind of longing. I want to have what he has, be a magic guy travelling where he wants, living life to the fullest, enjoying the social aspect of it as well as various challenges. There's some (a lot of) gender envy in there also xd

G: What trait of his bother me the most?

I'm gonna approach this from two angles. As a person what would bother me in him is his tendency to get bored with people. He starts to get restless if the setting stays the same for too long. He gets attached easily, but letting go is equally easy for him. It's a big contrast to my character as I attach strongly and vaguely easily but I'm almost unable to let go of my emotional attachments to people. Even if I lost contact with them years ago, I'm regularly getting caught in a spiral of sadness even over the people who didn't treat me well. But this trait of his is not something impossible to work around. It's not like he stops liking/loving someone just because he got bored, unless there is something wrong with the other person of course. If someone is willing to follow him with his way of life, there probably is no limit for his attachment.

As for what bothers me in him as a ttrpg character that I have to roleplay. That damn charisma xD I completely lack any knowledge about how stuff like flirting is supposed to work, so I don't even know how to pretend that I know. Other social interactions also. It's really hard to roleplay a character who is supposed to be in his element in social settings, be charming, outgoing and all that stuff when I'm the least all of that kind of person possible. I often hear advice to just pretend that I am or to just say something that would be appropriate and not care about the tone, but the issue is this is all alien to me and I don't know where to even begin knowing what to pretend. I have this idea of Cayden's vibe in my mind but it's like he is my friend who I know is cool but I don't have what he has, I can't ever be spontaneous with what I say and it looks like it's a crucial skill to have.

H: What trait of his I admire?

Definitely the optimism and confidence. Also stuff I'm unable to roleplay properly, but he's supposed to improvise a lot. He's usually convinced that everything will work out in some way and it usually does. He probably could talk himself out of any trouble, but I cannot roleplay that! Aaaaa!

Assassin with a Heart of Gold

Name: Admaer Daeneiros (He/Him)

Race: High Elf

Class: Rogue (Assassin)

Background: Criminal

WARNING, SPOILERS AHEAD

Back with the bastard man, I decided that I wanted to beeline over to the Last Light Inn because I wanted to help Karlach get her shit fixed. Fought some peeps and we finally made it to Last Light Inn, meeting Jaheira and the crew. Admaer was able to simply convince the Harpers that he doesn't mean them harm, not revealing the item that protects him and the crew. He also didn't drink the spiked drink that would force him to speak the truth. I was almost not wanting to go meet Isobel because I feared that I wouldn't be able to save her and compromise our good standing with the peeps at Moonrise Tower. But against all odds, I fucking filled that bitch! And so Admaer can freely walk in both Last Light and Moonrise.

And I'm pissed at this lmao! Esepcially since while staying here, I've discovered a few things!

So now Karlach can touch peeps now! With the second insertion of the Infernal Iron, she's now able to touch peeps! Admaer was reluctant to let her touch him, but he indulged her for a moment. However, this did not fix her problem, because her Infernal Engine cannot function in the Material Realm and she would need to return to Avernus. Which is a less than ideal solution to her problem. Admaer avoids the obvious air in the room, just letting her revel in her freedom and ability to make connections again.

I also finally found that fucker who was muttering rhymes in their sleep! And they apparently know where Thaniel is! I feel so bad that I missed this area with the Pero run and I hope there's still a way for me to find Thaniel and life the shadow curse. Admaer brought Halsin to this guy and we learn that due to the Shadow Curse, it put homeboy in a comatose state and we'll have to find something that relates to him that he would remember. So far, we have a hint that something at Moonrise Towers might help jog the guys memory.

We also found Raphael and we get a different scene where, because Admaer knows why Astarion wants to speak with the Cambion, Raphael doesn't bother revealing the scars. Raphael agrees to read the supposed poem on the condition that we do something for them. Metawise, we already know what that is, but for now, he bamfs out of there. Admaer also helped Mol out with cheating at the game against Raphael, and we get a different scene with her as well.

Admaer was able to sus out that Mol made a deal with Raphael to help her friends to Baldur's Gate and set up shop for their upstart Thieve's Guild. You can actually see this in game as none of the kids, aside from Mol, are present. Which this scared me for a moment as I though me going to Moonrise Towers triggered something where the majority of the kids died or something lol. Unlike Pero who tried to warn her about Raphael, Admaer stated his mild concerns, but he's willing to give her the benefit of the doubt that she'll make the right choice if she wants to keep her soul free from the Hells.

We spoke with Wulbren again and learn that the Ironhand Gnomes have had a sour history because of their involvement in helping a Bhaal-spawn in one of the previous games! Which, if you played those games, you experienced their downfall. Since thing, Deep Gnomes haven't been particularly liked in Baldur's Gate and Wulbren has been working hard to repair their reputation. After saving Isobel and doing some side combats, the party is off again as we're now in explorer mode to find more stuff about Thaniel potentially and grind bby. While exploring, Admaer found a Night Orchid and gifted it to Shadowheart. Unlike Pero who did it out of kindness, Admaer is somewhat expectant of a potential compensation in the future.

I think I want to play a paladin for my first time through Baldurs Gate 3, but I can't decide which race to pick, they all seem so neat with different dialogue options...

I totally feel that!!! I want to play a half-drow, a seldarine drow, and a deep gnome for my self inserts... something something, I love the underdark LOL

And theres SO MANY DIFFERENT CLASSES I WANT TO PLAY and then the ideas for the multiclassing as well!? I'm gonna probably end up doing sooo many playthroughs just testing different combos out

for the inaugural post on this new blog, I’ve decided to create a new pathfinder 2e setting using a microscope hack called Lens: (inserting a read more for the actual log, since its a long boy)

with one adjustment: the first principle states "no unreliable narrators", but I prefer to think of this timeline as the "known history" of the setting. i.e: "first" just means "the oldest mortals know of"

Bookends: ⚪ The Gods form the world ⚫ The Present Moment

First Pass: ⚪ The Gods form the world ⚪ The First Mortal Civilization ⚫ The Present Moment

(randomized between 1-9) mood: 7 cohesion: 8

round 1: ⚪ The Gods form the world ⚪ The First Mortal Civilization ⚪ The First King of the Gnomes ⚫ The Present Moment

focus: the first civilization mood roll: 2 I decided that this event would be the founding of this civilizations (initial) government. using a chart of government types from Ennead Games, I rolled a monarchy. I rolled a d3 for the main gender expression of the monarch (1 king, 2 queen, 3 monarch). I then used the following set of charts to determine the primary ancestry of this civilization:

1-45 Human 46-54 Elf 55-63 Gnome 64-72 Goblin 73-81 Dwarf 82-90 Halfling 91-100 Uncommon Ancestry

1-6 Azarketi 7-12 Catfolk 13-18 Fetchling 19-24 Gnoll 25-30 Grippli 31-36 Hobgoblin 37-42 Kitsune 43-48 Kobold 49-54 Leshy 55-60 Orc 61-66 Ratfolk 67-72 Tengu 73-78   Lizardfolk 79-84   Nagaji 85-90   Vanara 91-100 Rare Ancestry

1-6 Anadi 7-12 Android 13-18 Automaton 19-24 Conrasu 25-30 Fleshwarp 31-36 Goloma 37-42 Poppet 43-49 Shisk 50-56 Shoony 57-62 Skeleton 63-68 Sprite 69-74 Strix 75-80   Kashrishi 81-86  Vishkanya 87-100  not an (existing) ancestry

cohesion roll: 6. since that is equal to or less than the cohesion level of 8 I take another turn with the same focus.

round 1, turn 2: ⚪ The Gods form the world ⚪ The First Mortal Civilization ⚪ The First King of the Gnomes ⚪ The King expands his influence ⚫ The Present Moment

mood roll: 7 to decide on whether this event came before or after The First King of the Gnomes, I roll a d2 and got a 2 so I placed it after.

cohesion roll: 7

round 1, turn 3: ⚪ The Gods form the world ⚪ The First Mortal Civilization ⚪ The First King of the Gnomes ⚪ A Royal Wedding ⚪ The King expands his influence ⚫ The Present Moment mood roll: 3 position roll (1d3): 2 cohesion roll: 5

round 1, turn 4: ⚪ The Gods form the world ⚪ The First Mortal Civilization ⚪ The First King of the Gnomes ⚪ A Royal Wedding ⚪ The King expands his influence ⚪ The first great city ⚫ The Present Moment mood roll: 6 position roll (1d5): 5 cohesion roll: 1

round 1, turn 5: ⚪ The Gods form the world ⚪ The First Mortal Civilization ⚪ The First King of the Gnomes ⚪ The Iris Throne ⚪ A Royal Wedding ⚪ The King expands his influence ⚪ The first great city ⚫ The Present Moment mood roll: 4 position roll (1d6): 2

since gnomes are fey, it seemed natural to use a plant/flower motif. I used a random flower generator to find a name for the throne on which the king sits and got the Corn Lily, which is in the iris family. (i could have gone with the lily throne, but i think the iris throne has a better ring to it)

cohesion roll: 8

round 1, turn 5: ⚪ The Gods form the world ⚪ The First Mortal Civilization ⚪ The First King of the Gnomes ⚪ The Iris Throne ⚪ A Royal Wedding ⚪ An heir is born ⚪ The King expands his influence ⚪ The first great city ⚫ The Present Moment mood roll: 2 position roll (1d7): 2 cohesion roll: 5

round 1, turn 6: ⚪ The Gods form the world ⚪ The First Mortal Civilization ⚪ The First King of the Gnomes ⚪ The Iris Throne ⚪ A Royal Wedding ⚪ An heir is born ⚪ Contact is made with other groups of gnomes ⚪ The King expands his influence ⚪ The first great city ⚫ The Present Moment mood roll: 3 position roll (1d8): 5 cohesion roll: 8

round 1, turn 7: ⚪ The Gods form the world ⚪ The First Mortal Civilization ⚪ The First King of the Gnomes ⚪ The Iris Throne ⚪ The Royal Guard ⚪ A Royal Wedding ⚪ An heir is born ⚪ Contact is made with other groups of gnomes ⚪ The King expands his influence ⚪ The first great city ⚫ The Present Moment

mood roll: 5 position roll (1d9): 3 cohesion roll: 9

now that all of the events for this round are added, it is time to add the first legacy to the list: the following options made the most: The Dynasty The Guard The City The Kingdom The Outsiders a roll on a d5 gave me a 1, so the legacy event will be ⚫ The King passes

thus, at the end of this first round the timeline is this: ⚪ The Gods form the world ⚪ The First Mortal Civilization ⚪ The First King of the Gnomes ⚪ The Iris Throne ⚪ The Royal Guard ⚪ A Royal Wedding ⚪ An heir is born ⚪ Contact is made with other groups of gnomes ⚪ The King expands his influence ⚪ The first great city ⚫ The King passes ⚫ The Present Moment

for the adjust step, I rolled 1d2 each for mood and cohesion, with 1 being up and 2 being down. this resulted in the following mood and cohesion values for the next round: mood: 6 cohesion: 9

however, I think this is where I will stop for right now.

11th Street Kids DnD Headcanons

Hello it’s hbo peacemaker brainrot hours, have some headcanons

It’s Adrian who first brings up the idea of group DnD nights because god help him if he doesn’t try and drag as many of his friends as possible into one of his favourite hobbies like a friendly autistic black hole

Economos and Adebayo are the easiest to convince, John’s played before on and off and had an okay experience, Leota’s never played but she’s seen people talk about things like the adventure zone and dimension 20 and she thinks it looks fun and in her wheelhouse

Chris is next to join in, he likes to play the part of the meathead jock who has no time for dweeb pastimes but we all know he’d actually love and get super into the rp power fantasy of it all

Chris probably even overheard a few of Adrian’s DND games while hanging out with Gut Chase way back when and while they absolutely bullied the shit out of Adrian and his friends for it, Chris does begrudgingly admit that it actually kinda looked fun and interesting

Harcourt is tougher to crack because she doesn’t know anything about dnd outside the nerd stereotypes of sweaty nerds in a basement in full cosplay spouting incomprehensible high fantasy bullshit and initially turns the group down outright

it takes a lot of convincing from Leota that it’s actually a super fun creative outlet, a promise (read: bribe) of free alcohol at the session and at least 2 sets of puppy eyes (you guess whose) before she eventually caves

Murn’s alive in this scenario because I said so. He declines (at first) but we’ll get back to him. 

Everyone kind of initially dreads that Adrian’s going to run a homebrew that veers slightly too hard into autobiographical fanfic to be comfortable but he actually runs something cool, beginner friendly, and with some really interesting story seeds that could turn into an engaging multi-year campaign.

Leota makes a gnome ranger with a cowboy gimmick and corgi companion that she rides into battle like an adorable fluffy steed

Chris rolls an obvious self-insert aarakokra paladin that looks like a bald eagle and has huge eagle muscles and gets all the eagle ladies

Everyone guesses that Harcourt’s going to play a rogue (except for chris, who desperately hopes she plays a hot tiefling bard for his character to romance)

However, Harcourt surprises everyone by preparing her character ahead of time. She decides to play an aasimar paladin that’s a thinly-veiled parody-slash-one-up of chris’s character, because she saw “creative outlet” and read “lighthearted petty revenge against chris for being an ass with absolutely no affectionate intent behind it at all.” 

John is hoping that this means he’s finally going to get to play the cool edgy rogue of his dreams instead of getting shoehorned into playing a cleric again but upon seeing that the party consists of two paladins and a ranger he sighs and goes “fuck it, cleric it is.”

Session Zero is an absolute duuuuumpster fire. Playing DnD can really expose a lot about what a player is like as a person and as it turns out, Harcourt is EXTREMELY competitive and it kind of throws off the entire vibe of the table. She and Chris are insufferable. Rules are flat out ignored. John is tired. Adrian is trying to get a word in edgewise and that just makes everyone even angrier. Leota came out to have a good time and now her coworkers are fighting. 

John eventually breaks, snaps at everyone that dnd is about collaborative storytelling, tells adrian to actually step up and try and make the game fun for everyone instead of just enabling his best friend’s bullshit, tells chris and emilia to knock it off, and goes home early to gripe about the experience on r/rpghorrorstories. He regrets the outburst, but more than anything he’s disappointed that he didn’t get to have fun with his friends.

Adrian finds the post that evening, reflects on it, and, surprisingly, it strikes a chord. The goal of having fun did get away from him there and he has a one-on-one with Economos to try and smooth things over. 

Chris, Emilia and Leota agree to give it a second chance too, and they realise that not only is the party unbalanced, but so is the group dynamic at the table. 

So this time, they try and get Murn to join in.

It takes even longer to convince Murn than it did to convince Harcourt. 

The group had to resort to a fully referenced powerpoint presentation. 

It was awesome. 

Murn agrees to it on the basis that it makes a good leadership and teamwork exercise. 

So session zero take 2 happens. 

Harcourt rerolls her character, and makes a half-orc fighter. She’s still ruthlessly competitive in battle, but shifts her focus towards having fun with the group. 

Murn gets to be the cleric. He had no ideas for his character so he just picked his character archetype and backstory verbatim from the player handbook. bless murn, he’s boring but we love him

Economos retools his edgy rogue concept to be a college of whispers bard instead, finally finding a happy medium between picking a class based on the party’s needs and playing a fun character.

Much, much later, either John or Adebayo step up to DM to give Adrian a break, and they very quickly realise why Adrian doesn’t play. He’s an absolute nightmare at the table who is somehow both a ruthlessly pedantic rules lawyer and a murder hobo who has a lifelong ban on playing casting classes from basically every other tabletop group in evergreen for trying to break the game as much as possible without actually cheating. He’s tried to make the peasant railgun happen. Ditto the bag of holding black hole glitch, chicken nugget surprise, and a whole slew more gamebreaking tactics that nobody would have thought possible. The monk character he creates is hilarious though, and he becomes a recurring minor NPC in the regular campaign. 

On the day they push all the desks together to make a large DnD table, and the stationery cabinet is raided for notepads and pens.

Adrian brings all this really nice DnD stuff with him, he has this armful of books, a colour coded binder of DM notes, immaculately hand-painted minis at the ready, he brings the nice maps, he even brings a fancy bluetooth speaker to play cool ambient music for the session. And he had all that shit just sitting in his car. Y’know. For emergencies. 

He also went way overboard and bought everybody a new set of dice each in colours he thinks they’ll like. He would’ve bought everyone custom minis, dice bags and notebooks on top of that too but he’s already overdrawn on his bank account so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Everyone else is on snack duty. Economos brings chips and salsa, Adebayo brings homemade cupcakes that she made with her wife, Harcourt was going to bring nothing but eventually caved and brought jello shots, and Chris and Murn both turned up with carrot sticks and hummus because there needs to be a healthy option and when they realise they brought the same thing they just glare at each other like rival PTA moms at a bake sale

Even though Murn doesn’t eat he still went that extra step of making the hummus himself at home with nice olive oil and a paprika garnish instead of buying it from the store like chris did, but chris did bring beer with him so that basically makes it a draw.