Ghoul if you don’t write Ghost absolutely falling apart ugly crying when he discovers what Gooses scar is about and how he possibly could have never met the love of his life Elmo is gonna SUE
Make. That. Man. Cry!!!
He doesn’t even bother knocking when he opens your door. You clutch your shirt to your chest, glaring over your shoulder at Simon. Rude. He just raises a brow and shuts the door tight behind him.
“Got a minute?” He asks, moving close, and you know you’re not going to tell him no. Not when his hand cups your face and he lets you tug his mask down to kiss him, your shirt forgotten on the floor.
He must’ve just come in. His skin is still warm from the sun where you touch him, and there’s the last taste of tobacco on his tongue. His hand slides over your chest as he kisses you, giving your breast an appreciative squeeze before dragging towards your fly. You make a quiet noise against his lips when it slips over your scar, his touch stilling against the slightly raised edges of it.
Simon's fingers feel over the scar, rough calloused pads dragging along the sensitive delicate skin. The ugly line of it where it cuts across your stomach. He drags his fingers along the whole thing, from your waist to where it stops just below your belly button. You wish you knew what he was thinking. You've had years to grow out of being self conscious, but that didn't mean it didn't still rear its ugly head. Especially when it was a man you-
Simon probably doesn't even care, his torso is littered with scars. You're sure he doesn't even remember how he got half of them.
"How'd you get this beauty?" He asks, so quiet you almost don't hear him.
"Sort of a blur," you tell him. He nods like he understands, you think he does.
"Tell me." Simon hums, dropping to his knees and pressing his lips to the top of the scar on your waist. You do your best not to wince, remembering the way the bull's horn had torn into you.
"Was helping the Lucas'," You start, "their bull is tipped now but back then they were all about-" Simon kisses you again, lower down the scar, your breath hitches, "-natural, uh, natural horns. I must've spooked it or something because it-" you let out a pained hum when he presses his lips lower still, tracing the line of the scar with his mouth, "-it caught me with its horn and ripped me clean open." You finish in a rush, Simon freezes.
"It what?" You hate when his voice goes even like that. When you can't hear his breathing anymore.
"Gutted, tore, nearly eviscerated," you give him the words the doctors used, that your dad used when he was upset. Your stomach jumps when Simon kisses it again, clean flesh this time, and presses his forehead against your diaphragm. "If Soap hadn't been there I probably wouldn't have made it," that's what the doctors had told him at least, "you know how long it takes EMS to get anywhere out here," Simon's fingers tighten on your hips, "he kept pressure the whole time, made sure all my guts stayed put."
You thread your fingers through Simon's hair, scratching and pulling affectionately, "It's funny I don't even remember what we'd gone over to help with, but I remember how blue the sky was while I was laying in the grass waiting."
Simon has gone very quiet. He's completely still, save for his thumbs rubbing small circles against your hips. You're not sure who he's soothing. It happens quickly, his arms wrap around your hips and lift you so fast you have to duck to avoid hitting the ceiling fan. Curling over his head before he drops you on your bed.
You let out a noise of surprise, opening your arms for him as Simon climbs on top of you and lays down. His head settled against your chest, his arms wrapped tight around your waist, he doesn't say a word and you- you don't either. You let him have his silence. You let him lay on you, listen to the beat of your heart, the way your lungs fill when you take a breath, the rush of blood, the sounds of life. A life he almost missed.
He's never been more thankful for one Sergeant MacTavish in his life. Never been more thankful for you, and all the little ways life had to go just right for him to meet you. Your fingers scratch the base of his skull, and you’re humming some quiet lilting tune he doesn’t know, but he wants to. He wants to know every thought that goes through your head, every kindness you’ll ever afford him. Every way he could show you he loves you.
“You cryin’ baby?” You ask him gently, there’s no judgement in your voice, just the question.
“No.” He lies, feeling you hum your acceptance.
“S’okay,” You tell him, “I don’t mind.”
And you don’t. So he does.
Big heaving silent sobs that shake his whole body, fat tears that you brush away with every gentleness. You don’t think Ghost has ever cried, but you think Simon has needed to for a while. And he’s crying for you, over a loss that didn’t happen, over the pain you went through. Over the lonely days waiting for your body to be whole again, and the fact that neither of you will ever be lonely again. Maybe you’ll be hurt, but never lonely. You’ll make sure of it. He’ll make sure of it.
"Johnny burn down the Lucas' house?" Simon asks, looking up from where he'd buried his face in your chest with watery eyes.
"Just their barn," you cup his cheek, wiping away a stray tear with your thumb. Simon gives you a little hiccuping sob around his frown and angry eyebrows.
"Should've killed 'em." It's a little hard to take him seriously when his voice wobbles like that. When his lip trembles and tears start falling again. You shush him, and let him press his face against you again.
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people are saying the asking the pronoun scene was a little akward. and im just sitting there like yes!! its supposed to be akward!!
i have been trans and occupied trans spaces for around... 7 years? and it took time for that lingo, that quastion, to enter my life comftrbly. thinking i wasn't good enough at it every time where it felt weird or out of place. but no, its just like that!
like, it never gets more "fluid", it never really feels like there is a spasific place in the conversation to enter it. but when everyone does it, when it becomes normelized, that akwardness becomes real too. we are both sharing the akward but sencere attemt at connecting with each other. and its beutifull. human beings are akward, and that's womderfull.
so yeah, that felt akward because it was the first time we officaly saw the doctor adress this quastion on screen, but that's what made it real. ok? like, that pause to adress it before moving on felt so realistic to me. yes doctor. please lets adress and add this akwardness into our lives because it its another part of existing!
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It's All About the Bees, Baby
Well, now that I'm done crying and laughing and screaming, I can finally take a moment to relax and put all of my thoughts about today's episode in one place. Full disclosure that I'm not going to be talking about fandom drama or anything because I have negative interest in engaging with that sort of discussion. This post is about what the bees mean to me and to others, as well as why the big scene today was so beautiful.
To start off on a personal note, I've been watching RWBY since I was twelve, so coming up on a decade now. I remember seeing a ton of fanart and memes for volume one as it was airing and decided to give it a shot a few weeks before volume two started airing. I dropped it in the first episode because the sound mixing was awful (apparently I've always been an audio snob), but decided to give it another go based on the recommendation of one of my long time friends, and that was when I realized it was basically the perfect show for little twelve year old Valentine. Great character designs, awesome music, I dug the humor, but more than anything, there was a particular character who I could not get out of my head.
Yang Xiao Long.
Yang is still to this day very much my type. Brash, bold, boisterous, blonde, brawler. I have loved this girl since the day I first laid eyes on her and I will love her to the day I die. As you can probably guess, being twelve years old is often a pretty rough period in a baby sapphic's life. I knew I liked girls, but outwardly admitting it to myself was something that took a long time, and Yang sort of galvanized that process, which really kicked off after Burning the Candle aired.
This is the moment that made me go "Oh. Oh, she's like me, isn't she?"
And it was all downhill from there.
I don't think I need to stress how prevalent shipping is in the RWBY fandom. For a show that doesn't focus much on romance (there are romantic relationships in the show that get significant attention and one of those ships was sunk six volumes ago), it might be one of the most notable aspects of the fandom. If two characters exist, even if one of them was dead before the series even started, there's a good chance there's a ship name for them...be they family or not. Looking at you, Enabler. That being said, Bumbleby--great ship name by the way, you guys--has been the most prominent basically since the start, with White Rose/Ice Flower following closely behind. This isn't really surprising. They're half of the main four girls and Blake specifically went out of her way to choose Yang as her partner, so them becoming a popular ship is a no-brainer, but the reasons as to why it's truly something special didn't become clear until the audience had learned more about these two as characters. Their backstories, what they strive towards, what motivates them, what scares them, all of that. They might seem like oil and water at first glance, but really, they're made for each other.
Alright, let's head in another direction before this just turns into a post about what makes their relationship great. Bumbleby is a relationship that is important to people for a lot of reasons, chief among those reasons being that people see themselves in these girls who have been through so much, both together and separately.
Blake Belladonna is, for all intents and purposes, an abuse victim, something that is unfortunately all too common (especially among the queer community). She managed to escape that relationship for a time and found family in her team, but her relationship with Yang has always taken center stage. I don't think it's lost on most Bumbleby fans that on the surface, Yang and Adam are similar. Semblances aside, they're both prone to bouts of anger, but one of the (many) differences between the two is while Adam was attracted to Blake for what he wants her to be--another violent revolutionary to take on the world with him--Yang likes Blake for who she is. She cares about her, truly, evident by the fact that she's the one who knocks Blake out of her self-destructive spiral in volume two. For so many victims of abuse, the notion of finding someone who will love you for you and won't treat you the way your last partner did is almost like a fairy tale, so to see Blake move on from Adam and overcome her trauma with Yang by her side resonates with a lot of people.
On the other side of things, there's Yang. She has abandonment issues, of course, which is something that doesn't really mesh well with Blake "My Problems Can't Hurt Me If I Just Run From Them" Belladonna. Come on, her semblance literally leaves behind copies of herself to take damage for her, but the show spells it out for you during Mountain Glenn, so you don't need my analysis here. The difference between Blake and Raven, though, is that Blake came back. Because she cares, and even if she made a mistake, she tries so hard to make it up to Yang. For a lot of people who have been abandoned or tossed aside in their lives, seeing someone who left a loved one behind not only come back for them but earnestly try and make amends is moving because it's something they think they'll never have, or it's something they've longed for but never got.
Now, onto the big scene from today's episode, Confessions Within Cumulonimbus Clouds. First of all, the fact that the Ever After itself said "You two have been making goo-goo eyes at each other since forever, go and work it out"? Gorgeous. Beautiful. You love to see it. What's nice about the framing of the scene is that Blake and Yang are put into a situation where in order to progress, they have to...well, progress. "Take the next step", which is to, of course, confess already. And how do they take those steps? They have to open up, say how it is they truly feel about each other instead of awkwardly flirting and making Weiss want to pull her hair out. And the more they progress, the more solid the rickety bridge becomes, symbolizing that they're getting closer and closer to finally clicking.
Even then, there's a contrast between the two of them. Blake, while nervous, is ready to take the next step. She's ready to finally say what they've needed to say to each other for ages. Yang, though? She's scared. Scared that she'll mess it up, scared that Blake won't feel the same, scared that she'll fall.
But in the end, even if she's nervous, she knows it's Blake. Her best friend, her partner, her soulmate. And Blake urges her to say it, and it's the push she needs to take that next step.
Part of what makes this scene so special to so many people is that when it comes to fandom and queer shipping, so much of it is implicit. Even for something that is obviously gay, like Madoka Magica, Homura never says that she is romantically in love with Madoka, and the unfortunate reality is that without that, queer relationships are often just written off as bait. Hell, just this last season of anime we were given The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady, a show that was commonly called bait even though the main characters makes it clear at several points that she is a lesbian who is attracted to the love interest. If there's no confession, it's bait. If there's no kiss, it's bait. So the fact that today, we were given both? It's so incredibly refreshing, because it is just not something that happens a lot in anime/anime adjacent media, especially not one as widespread as RWBY is, so people who mainly consume that type of art are left scrambling for crumbs, grasping at every glance or touch or smile, sustaining themselves off of fanart and fanfiction. You've got to understand that a lot of queer people--sapphics in particular--just...aren't used to this.
People have been clamoring over these two for a decade now. The hiatus between volumes eight and nine beat our asses, and we've been hyping ourselves up with "Bees kiss, bees kiss, bees kiss" since the trailer for this volume dropped, so to have it? To have it be real, be tangible, be undeniable? It feels good. It feels good to prove the weird ass homophobes who for some reason still watch this show wrong. It feels good to be vindicated. It feels good to be able to feel this joy.
We won, babes. We won. We can celebrate that, we can cherish that, and no one can take that from us.
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