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365days365movies · 3 years

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March 21, 2021: Orlando (1992)

Tilda Swinton...confuses me.

Like, in a good way. Because Tilda may be the most versatile actor working today. I mean, look at the goddamn filmography, and you’ll see what I’ve mean. I’ve seen Tilda Swinton in a lot, surprisingly, and I don’t think anything I’ve seen was bad. For example, I am an ARDENT defender in the portrayal of the Ancient One in the MCU.

I understand the controversy here, but I actually think this is excellent casting. Especially considering...being comic book-accurate would NOT have been a good idea with this role, if we’re trying to AVOID controversy. But Tilda Swinton FUCKING KILLED IT in this role, and I will always be happy for this choice.

Let’s see, there’s Jadis in the Narnia films, as shown at the top, there’s Snowpiercer, as Mason (an amazing character, and an acting job that Swinton disappears into), Moonrise Kingdom as Social Services, The Grand Budapest Hotel as Madame D., and Gabriel in Constantine. Which is a good segue to the next talking point...

Gabriel is pointedly androgynous, and honestly, Tilda Swinton kind of is as well. You may have noticed that I haven’t used any pronouns in referencing to Tilda Swinton, entirely out of respect. Gonna be a little hard to keep up with, so I’ll be using she/her from here on out, only because those are the pronouns that Swinton’s most recently promoted for herself. She’s also referred to herself as queer of some variety, as well as being famously gender non-conforming.

Which is fitting, given that a lot of that public image began with today’s movie, one of her first big roles. I’ll be revisiting Swinton in the independent movie scene in a couple of months, but this may be a good introduction. Instead of spoiling anything off the bat, I’m gonna jump right in. And so, I present: Orlando. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

We begin with a young man named, well, Orlando (Tilda Swinton), a young man with a feminine appearance and a good upbringing. His name means power land and property, but all he really wants is company. He writes and rests by a tree in the day, but falls asleep by mistake. When he wakes up, he runs back to where he’s meant to be, with a tribute to Queen Elizabeth I (Quentin Crisp) playing in the background. And that’s a REAL song, by the way, actually sung in the 1600s for Elizabeth! Very neat.

A title screen flashes, reading “1600: Death”, and we see where Orlando is meant to be. He speaks poetry for the Queen and her court, but is interrupted by the aged queen, who asks whether or not his poem is appropriate for her presence, as the poem is about youth, and Queen Elizabeth is not that. Orlando’s father (John Bott), who is serving as host to Elizabeth, intervenes on his behalf. However, it doesn’t seem to matter to the Queen, as she invites Orlando back to England to serve as her “favourite”. He accepts, and soon lives alongside the Queen. She quickly promises Orlando much land and property, for him and his heirs, but on one condition: that he does not fade, wither, or grow old.

The same wish cannot be applied to Elizabeth herself, nor to his father, as both grow old and die soon afterwards. Fast forward 10 years, and it’s a cold winter in England. Visiting Orlando’s vast estate is a woman from Russia, named Sasha (Charlotte Valandrey), and Orlando quickly falls for her. This is to the dismay of Euphrosne (Anna Healy), his fiancée? I’m not sure, to be honest, but they’re definitely involved, and she’s definitely upset.

However, this is also a scandal for everybody else as well, not just because Orlando’s already engaged, but also because Sasha is Russian, during a particularly poor economic period for the country. Euphrosne angrily throws his ring back at him, and Orlando speaks directly to the audience, telling us that a man must follow his heart. The two go to his private cottage, and they start to make out, when Orlando suddenly comes down with intense melancholy.

Because this is such great happiness that he feels, but this happiness too will one day end. Which is, like, the most emo-shit I’ve ever heard, but I’m kinda here for it. And yet, that happiness does indeed end, when Sasha is forced to return to Russia, despite Orlando’s pleading for her to stay. He asks her to meet him at London Bridge, so that they may elope together.

Later, Orlando happens upon a performance of Othello, noting to us that it’s a terrific play. This is as the death of Othello is being played out, so that’s probably foreshadowing, right? Anyway, Orlando leads two horses through the thick fog, waiting for Sasha to arrive and come away with him. But as a storm sets in, there is no sign of Sasha. And Orlando stands there in the rain. Said rain, though, soon becomes ice, underneath his feet, floating away down the river, along with his hopes of a happy future with Sasha. The treachery of women, according to Orlando.

Over the next week, Orlando languishes in his bed, asleep for the entire time. Increasingly more servants are brought up to try and rouse him, only for him to remain asleep, no matter what they do. But then, he wakes up, noting that he can only conjure three words to describe women, none of them worth explaining.

Forty years later, and the title screen cries “Poetry”! And Orlando looks exactly the same. Guess he really took that whole “don’t grow old” thing from Elizabeth to heart, huh? He speaks to a poet, Nick Greene (Heathcote Williams), and gushes about his poetry, which is a pursuit that he loves greatly. But Nick is...well, Nick is kind of a dick, to be honest. Orlando wants only to share his love and his poetry with him, but Nick’s only in it for the money. Not a true artist, and he mocks Orlando’s poetry, which he reads only after Orlando offers him money. And then, he writes a poem mocking Orlando further, which angers Orlando...but doesn’t stop the money flowing to Nick.

Orlando moves onto his next pursuit, in 1700, in the next section: Politics. Now over 100 years old, Orlando becomes an ambassador to the Ottoman Empire, and travels to Constantinople. There, he receives a somewhat rough and awkward greeting, which Orlando is not helping with. They share some Turkish coffee, Orlando has trouble drinking that Turkish coffee, they drink a LOT of Turkish coffee, and they toast to multiple things, including the “beauty of women, and the joys of love.” Orlando pauses at this, and reveals that he is still suffering quite a bit of heartbreak. His Turkish friend, the Khan (Lothaire Bluteau), bonds with him about this.

After 10 years, Orlando has fully retreated into life as a Turkish man. This is interrupted by a British emissary, sent to bring him news of a new appointment and power from the Queen. However, something goes wrong when the Khan arrives and takes Orlando hostage. The city is under attack, and the Khan asks Orlando if he will help against their enemies. Orlando agrees, and gives them arms, and heads to help himself at the walls. There, he witnesses a man dying, and it shakes him greatly. And just like before, he sleeps it off for seven days. And then...she wakes up.

YUP. WHAT.

Yeah, um, Orlando is now a woman. Like she says: “Same person, just a different sex.” Which is a very interesting premise, not gonna lie. Looks like Orlando now has to live life as a woman, which is going to be...difficult in 1700s Turkey. Or England. Or anywhere. Or any time.

Still, Orlando approaches this new life with aplomb, and without really any needed caution. Parading in some awesome dresses, she greets fellow nobility as the lady Orlando. However, the emissary from earlier, Archduke Harry (John Wood), begins to recognize her as similar to the lord Orlando.

In speaking with a group of poets, however, Orlando learns EXACTLY what men think of women in this society, and it’s not even a little bit good. She leaves, enraged and embarrassed. Harry also speaks with her, assuming that she was a woman all along. However, Orlando’s in EVEN MORE shit, as she’s quickly served with papers that are an attempt to take away all of her property and titles, because Lord Orlando is legally dead, and Lady Orlando is a woman, which one of them says is basically the same thing. FUCKIN’ YIKES, BRUV.

Ah, but Harry tries to help by proposing to her ON THE FUCKIN’ SPOT. He believed that Orlando was perfect as both genders, and is happy to do it. However, Orlando understandably refuses, and after Harry tells her that she will die as a spinster, alone and dispossessed, she runs into a nearby hedge maze. And while in the hedge maze, time passes, and her outfit changes to match the period accordingly.

Forward 140 years now! The year is 1850, and a new chapter begins: Sex.

And as she runs from the maze, she runs into who else...but Shelmerdine (Billy Zane), a man who...Shelmerdine? SHELMERDINE? What fuckin’ witch cursed his entirely family line to have THAT name? That’s the kind of family that was named AFTER a bridge, not the other way around! WHAT KINDA NAME IS FUCKIN’ SHELMERDINE?

Well, I’ve looked it up now, and it is apparently a real name. So, if any Shelmerdines are reading this...I mean, I’m sorry, but also, FUCKIN’ SHELMERDINE? OK, back to Shelmerdine. He’s twisted his ankle falling off his horse, and Orlando is now taking care of him. She reveals, in the process, that she’s about to lose everything. The reasons for that aren’t quite said, but Shelmerdine offers a place at his side, back to the great free land of America.

After having a conversation about the roles of men and women in the world (which is interesting given the context of the film in general), the two fulfill the chapter’s imperative. And we never see the act, but we do get some interesting angles and hand-holding. But the next morning, this post-coital reverie is interrupted by the lawyers from the Queen. The lawsuits have been settled, and Orlando has been legally declared a woman, meaning that unless she has a son, all of her possessions will be lost.

Shelmerdine (I swear, every time I say that name, a fairy gets chlamydia) leaves as well, with the southwest wind. As he heads back to America to fight for freedom, Orlando stands in the rain, facing an uncertain future, and broken fully by the politics of the time period.

And then...the sound of planes overhead. Looks like a new time period once again, heading into the periods of World Wars, and Orlando is now...heavily pregnant. OH. FUCK. Welcome to the next chapter: Birth.

We jump past the period of World War II, and to the 1990s! Orlando is presenting a book to a publisher, and he believes that the book will sell. With her young daughter in tow, she finally goes back to her old mansion, now finally able to go back after losing it 100 years prior. The narration from the beginning repeats, recontextualized for Orlando’s new life. She is over 400 years old, and finally, FINALLY...she is happy.

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And that’s Orlando! I think I loved it. Real talk, this was a fascinating movie, and I’m into it. I’m very much into it. I’m sure there’s more to be gleaned from this film, but I’m glad I watched it regardless. More in the Review, though! See you there!

#orlando #orlando 1992 #sally potter #tilda swinton #billy zane #lothaire bluteau #john wood #virginia woolf #orlando film #fantasy march #user365 #365 movie challenge #365days365movies #365 movies 365 days #365 Days 365 Movies #365 movies a year #mygifs #my gifs

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laulink · 3 years

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After listening to Friend (and crying. A lot.), I decided to try my hand at analysing the song’s lyrics and what they could possible mean for Penny, Ruby, and the story going forward. So let’s get started.

Darkness like Midnight

Moonless there’s no light

Another lonely day

Is ending

Searching forever

Waiting but never finding

The only thing

I dream of

The warmth of a smile

That stays for a while

The face of a friend

That won’t leave

Alright, that’s a lot to begin with, but the whole segment can only, truly be understood after hearing those last four lines, so let’s break it down.

The first two thirds of this part is about Penny’s life before she met Ruby. She was all alone, every day, as “another lonely day” implies. This loneliness is characterised by darkness, the moonless night at the end of the lonely day, meaning that even at night, Penny finds no light to brighten up her existence.

The mention of “Midnight” is interesting here, because Midnight is the title of the episode in which we discover Cinder’s backstory and this episode is, to say the least, quite dark. Plus, there are some parallels to be drawn between Cinder and Penny : both of them have been chosen by authority figures (Salem and James) and given a destiny and a role by those same figures (Protector of Mantle, destined to save the world, for Penny and the Destroyer of Humanity, destined to bring the current world of Remnant to an end by helping Salem with her plans and gathering the Maiden powers for Cinder). According to those first few lines, we could also parallel their upbringing : both of them were alone with no friends for a long time, then one person appeared and brightened up their existence (Ruby and Rhodes), going so far as to give Penny and Cinder hope that they could escape the chains restraining them and start making their own choices (staying at Beacon for Penny and becoming a Huntress for Cinder).

In other words, you could say that, in this first line, Penny is telling us that she was in a similar place to Cinder when Cinder was a child. Of course, I expect Penny’s needs were attended to and she was most likely not a victim of physical abuse like Cinder was, but the lack of friends, the loneliness and the restraints around them and their every movement is certainly similar.

Then comes the last third of this first extract, the one about the thing Penny chases : a friend who would stay by her side and smile with her. The last two lines, “The face of a friend/That won’t leave” seems to imply that Penny has some semblance of friend already, but that the friend(s) in question leave and don’t stick around long enough for the relationship to properly develop and be given meaning to.

This line made me think of Ciel Soleil, to be honest. Ciel was Penny’s “teammate” during the Vytal Festival, yet they weren’t seen together all that often, mostly right before, during and after the match against team CRDL. Despite this, Ciel was obviously very much aware of Penny’s strength and abilities, having even planned for their double match to end in less than a minute (if I remember correctly). That means that Ciel saw Penny fight a few times and, if you add that to the fact that James couldn’t have just added her to a random team for the Festival with no explanation whatsoever to the team or their classmates, that probably means Penny more or less attended Atlas Academy with Ciel and two other teammates, so her presence in the Festival wouldn’t be strange.

However, we know Atlas Academy’s stance on friendships among teams and we saw how socially unaware Penny was during her first meeting with Team RWBY and how happy she was to find someone who would call her a friend. So it isn’t a stretch to think that none of Penny’s teammates were really friendly to her, keeping their relationships professional, to her dismay.

Moving on !

I heard a song once

It posed this point of view

That wishes made on stars

Are likely to come true

So here’s my secret

At bedtime every night

I searched the sky and hoped to find

A star who’d send a light

To me

The one thing I need

Just one kind soul

With a heart of gold

Then my dreams became real

And I finally feel not alone

Do hugs always make you feel this warm ?

A big chunk again, but this one will be easier to break down.

This part of the song tells us that Penny’s dream was to have a friend, even “Just one kind soul” to ease the loneliness. Her best bet for that was to make a wish on a star and yeah, that’s awfully cute, because all of us, when we were kids, were told that kind of story, but it’s also sad that Penny’s only hope to find a friend was to be granted a miracle from a star far away. And, given that the previous part of the song mentioned a dark night sky with no light (“Moonless, there’s no light”), we also know that there weren’t a lot of stars for Penny to wish on, or in other words, that her chances of her wish being granted were very small.

However, the miracle happened ! Ruby appeared and made Penny’s dream come true ! The one kind soul with a heart of gold who would be her friend !

The line about hugs making you feel warm doesn’t really fit in the narrative of their encounter and Ruby’s impact on Penny’s life, however, since the first time Penny asked Ruby this question was in V8, so much later in their relationship. To me, it mainly serves as the first line to really establish, with no possible doubt, that this song is sung from Penny’s point of view and that the friend she is referencing is Ruby, as this question is extremely specific and exclusive to the two of them.

My dreams came true

The day that you appeared

And called me “friend”

An answered prayer

A chance to

Share the world

To be a girl

Who finally felt alive

Refrain ! It’s all about how Ruby’s appearance indeed made Penny’s dreams a reality : she got a friend, someone she could explore the world with, talk to about it, ask questions to and discuss with, but most of all, someone with whom she could finally feel like a girl instead of a weapon, a living being instead of a machine. We know, from her reveal in V2, that Penny was very self-conscious and uncertain of her own humanity, that she knew a lot of people would see her as nothing but a robot and that she was half-believing they would be right to. Her relief when Ruby assured her she was a real girl was “crushing”, to say the least x)

And this feeling of being real and alive, she got it all thanks to Ruby and Ruby alone. None of the other heroes would have tried to become her friend if not for Ruby, so she’s really the starting point of almost all of Penny’s most important relationships.

I’m so excited

We’ll do so many friendship things

Paint our nails, try on clothes, talk about cute boys

Attached but not by Strings

Another callback to V1 with “Paint our nails, try on clothes, talk about cute boys”. The nostalgia is hitting hard. But, most importantly, we have our second V8 title : Strings. The episode in which Penny’s “strings”, the ones linking her to her swords, her robot body itself, reminded us that her allusion is Pinocchio, a puppet who was given life to, but who was still a puppet for most of the movie. Penny is a living being, but her robotic body was hackable, and because of that Watts was able to use a string (the connection between her and her swords) to plant a virus inside of her, starting her descent toward her tragic end.

In the context of this song though, the meaning of this word is not quite so dark. Penny is speaking from her V1 point of view, the point of view of a girl who just met her first friend, while all her previous relationships were mainly based on her condition as the first synthetic being able to produce an aura : the soldiers keeping watch over her because she’s a precious project, the scientists working on her so she could achieve her maximum potential, Ironwood who chose the Penny project over all others so the result of this project would protect and save the world... Penny was attached to all of them and they were all attached to her, but not by feelings : by the strings of work and duty, in both ways. Ruby was the first person who attached herself to Penny and let Penny attach herself to her for other reasons, purely out of affection and desire to be friends. She was the first person Penny was free to attach herself to as well : one of the first choices Penny really made for herself. No strings attached, yet still together because they both want to be.

And when you’ve got problems

Whoa ! Then I’ve got problems too

You’ll never face this world alone

I’ll be right here it’s you

And me

Protectors of each other’s what we’ll be

First two lines are about Penny being ready to share her friend’s burdens, as friends tend to do, and this sentiment motivates the promise she makes in the next four lines, but here’s the thing : we’re still hearing Penny’s thoughts and point of view from V1. And since V1, she’s failed to make good on this promise twice : at the end of V3 and now at the end of V8, by dying, leaving Ruby alone to fend for herself, no “protector” there to guard her back and share her burdens with. Despite her best intentions, Penny cannot make good on the promise she seems to have made Ruby (or internally made, most likely) back in V1.

Now, that’s the pessimistic opinion. If you look at it from a more optimistic point of view, you could say the exact opposite thing, at least when it comes to her V3 death : Penny went so far as to overcome death to come back in V7 and by Ruby’s side. She’s done it once, and you can expect that girl to do it a second time, because she made a promise to her friend and she’s going to keep it.

You saw my soul

Through the nuts and bolts

You’re the friend I can trust

Helped me see I’m not just a machine

And is this what “All the feels” mean ?

And now we are entering the realm of V2 references ! Basically just a retelling of Penny’s big reveal and all the times Ruby has reassured her that she’s a real girl since that first time, though to be honest, I’m not sure where the last line comes from. I don’t remember hearing either of them talking about “all the feels” and even my digging in V1, 2 and 3 didn’t help, so if anyone has an idea, hit me up, ‘cause this has me stumped.

I’ve been combat-ready since the day Dad made me

Now I’ll fight for something more

Might sound wholesome but strangely

I’ve got friends I’m fighting for

This part is now about the events of V7 and 8, I believe. Everyone was friendly to Penny back in V2 and 3, after her help at the docks, but I am not certain they would have considered each other actual friends, with how little time Penny was able to spend with them, aside from Ruby. So her referring to the multiple friends she is now fighting for fits more with her situation and relationships from V7 and 8 as well as character arc in those volumes, especially since she never fought for her friends in earlier volumes (with the exception of the fight at the docks, but even then she was fighting mostly for Ruby, not really for the others). In the last two volumes however, especially V8, she had to choose between her allegiance to the military and the safety of the people she cared about, her friends as well as the people of Mantle.

But I found that humanity

It came with sacrifice, a pact

To shield you from the wicked even if I can’t

Live for real it was worth it to know you

And now we are hearing Penny’s point of view in her last moments in V8 : the moment she sacrificed herself and died a second time.

As I understand it, Penny’s humanity, her feelings, her love for her friends, is what pushed her to sacrifice herself : because she cared for them, she didn’t want them to die at Cinder’s hands, and she knew that would be what would happen if Cinder got both sets of Maiden powers : she would be unstoppable by non-Maiden and non-SEW characters. So, to “shield [her friends, and especially Ruby] from the wicked (Cinder and Salem)”, she decides to sacrifice herself to make sure that the Winter Maiden powers end up in good hands. She makes this decision knowing that she is sacrificing her life and won’t be able to live “for real”. I think this means that a part of her will survive, the part of her who will live on in Winter (and, to some extent, the part of her that will stay alive in her friends’ hearts), so she will “live on”, if only her memory and will, but even if she can’t have a life of her own, she doesn’t regret sacrificing her existence if it means protecting her friends, and especially Ruby, because knowing Ruby had made her life worthwhile.

What Penny is saying is that, if she could choose between staying alive in a world where she never met Ruby and dying in this world where they became friends, she would choose becoming Ruby’s friend and dying, because their friendship is what made life worth living for Penny.

My dreams came true

The day that you appeared

And called me “friend”

An answered prayer

A chance to

Share the world

To be a girl

Who finally felt alive

We end the song on the refrain, which isn’t all that uncommon, but has a bittersweet taste after the last part of the song : just after Penny says that she doesn’t regret dying if it means saving her friends, because Ruby made her life worthwhile, the refrain reminds us that having a friend was her dream, what she prayed for every night, the source of every good thing in her life and the one thing that made her feel alive.

So, what does this song mean for Penny And Ruby’s characters now and going forward ?

For Ruby, who was the recipient of the song, it’s hard to tell, but I think that the lines about Ruby and Penny being there for and protecting each other give us a hint : Penny failed to make good on her promise for the second time now and left Ruby alone, again. If Ruby’s feelings for Penny are half as strong as Penny’s feelings for her were, this is going to break her, especially now, after everything Ruby went through in just two days and the small breakdown she had with Yang a couple of episodes ago. Ruby is in an emotionally vulnerable state at the moment, she can’t run from her trauma and not address it like she usually does, and she will have to face whatever feelings Penny’s death will ignite in her. Considering her horror and denial when Penny asked her to kill her and take the Maiden powers, learning that Penny still died, after all their efforts to save her, is going to do a number on her.

For Penny and her arc, it is hard to say. On one hand, the end of the song make it sound like Penny is alright and at peace with her death and its circumstances, that she considers it a necessary sacrifice to save her friends, just like what Vine did in the same episode. Both of them were at peace with this decision because they knew it would take an immediate, extreme danger away from their friends and keep them safe for a while. On the other hand, there is still this promise that Penny made to herself/Ruby that she’d always be by Ruby’s side to help her face the world and her problems and the fact that she made good on that promise before by coming back to life, something that Ruby didn’t expect at all, beating the odds once, meaning she might be able to beat them again. It is odd to have a song containing this promise play right after a scene making it clear that the promise was broken for the second time and might not get fixed again if the intent was not to have Penny come back and make good on it once more.

I’ve seen the argument being made that the song is cheery and happy, unlike Cold which sounded like a eulogy, and that this difference might hint toward Penny coming back to life. However, this argument doesn’t seem viable to me because the song, as we’ve seen, focuses on all the happiness that Ruby brought to Penny’s life, how thankful Penny is for it, how that happiness made Penny’s sacrifice worth it and how this brought her peace instead of anguish and regrets. Not to mention that Cold was a song from the point of view of the survivors, not the one who had died : I’m pretty sure that if Friend had been from Ruby’s point of view after learning about Penny’s death, it would have been far less cheery.

So I really don’t know what it all means for Penny, except that her feelings for Ruby are incredibly strong and might be the key to her revival this time, if it happens.

#rwby #rwby8 #rwby spoilers #penny polendina #nuts and dolts #mechanical rose #ruby rose #yeah the song isn't outright shippy like some others can be but considering the strength of the feelings mentioned in it #I think it deserves the ship tags #analysis #long post

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asimawv · 4 years

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I write and conceptualize story to music, so I’ve compiled a playlist of 30 Darkest Dungeon-specific songs that I listen to when writing (and subsequently re-writing) in no particular order, which I hope will help you set the vibe too. :+)

Names in bold are links for easy listening - tons of Hozier and Of Monsters and Men up ahead, five minute warning.

1. ‘Fire and the Flood’ - Vance Joy

If you listen to nothing else on this list, listen to this one - it’s the kind of song that’s made for movies about yearning. Folk influences, choruses of trumpets and vocal harmony, and instruments that are layered for a rich, resonant sound. This is the song I imagine Dismas and Reynauld horse-racing through a crowded outdoors market in the hamlet to, and the song I listened to nonstop freshman year when I first started writing The Myth of Sisyphus.

You're the fire and the flood And I'll always feel you in my blood Everything is fine When your hand is resting next to mine Next to mine You're the fire and the flood

The chorus is built around biblical allusions to the fire (the burning bush signifying first contact) and the flood (destruction of the first world), the beginning and end. Every line is similarly evocative of Darkest Dungeon in their simplicity (“I’ve been getting used to waking up with you,” etc.)

2. ‘Soldier, Poet, King’ - The Oh Hellos

By the title alone you can guess who this is for. Even the Guild quote for the Leper approaches these three things as the defining parts of his character (specifically it’s “a ruined man, a warrior, and a poet.”) This song coincidentally has an old world influence to it, with a Medieval Renaissance style from a guitar playing a lute-adjacent melody.

There will come a ruler Whose brow is laid in thorn Smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei oh lai oh Lord Oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh Lord Smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei oh lai oh Lord

To be smeared with oil is to be anointed by a prophet and thus chosen by god himself to be king, just as David was and his boy after him (presumably Solomon). There’s something strangely wistful about the imagery, which is just how I like my songs about bygone kings.

3. ‘Exit Hymn’ - Bear Attack!

This song is about the end of the world in a version where everyone simply stands together in silence watching, rather than having the masses swarming in panic.

Lovely shapes to the world descending, Brothers and sisters. Lovely shapes to the world descending, Brothers and sisters Mute.

It defies Lovecraftian horror, which is based on the premise that “common human laws and interests and emotions have no validity or significance in the vast cosmos-at-large” - it flies in the face of existential nihilism and the despair that it should bring us. That’s why I like this song for deaths in the end-boss fight; it also has a special place for other death-related ideas, like full-party wipes - entire teams of people vanishing into the dungeons, gone insane, holding hands while the darkness surrounds them.

It’s a bare song which has a sanctity to it, mostly just piano and rain and human voices. Just what you would hear at the end of the world.

More under the cut:

4. ‘Pursuit of Glory’ - Jhameel

This song is laid-back. It doesn’t have the Homeric intensity that some of the other songs here do - it’s a guy with a guitar and vocal harmony. By god is it a great piece of writing though (all of Jhameel’s older songs have that quality to them), and all of it is evocative of Darkest Dungeon.

So many eyes set on the path to glory Too many ties, friendship is for the lonely Can't still my heart, my tongue has tasted folly Thirsty for art, hungry for power and money

This is a song for everyone in the barracks, especially the ‘laundry list’ of people and their approaches to the pursuit of glory.

5. ‘Good Old Days’ - Macklemore (feat. Kesha)

This fucker put a Macklemore song in here. I did, yeah. It’s not even the only song with Kesha in it here (I’m sorry.)

It’s a sentimental pop song, and I am sentimental to a fault. This is Darkest Dungeon AMV material, and I always mishear one of the lines as “we were underground, loaded mercs in that 12-passenger van” so it’s here.

We've come so far, I guess I'm proud And I ain't worried about the wrinkles around my smile I've got some scars, I've been around I've felt some pain, I've seen some things, but I'm here now Those good old days

6. ‘Past Lives‘ - Kesha

Here it is, the other Kesha song - this was introduced to me by a good friend, also in a Darkest Dungeon context. There’s just something about the lovers spanning time trope and finding each other in one life to the next that is irresistible (for the obvious reason in the context of Darkest Dungeon.) It’s a soft song, totally out of place in Kesha’s typical discography, and has a line about losing someone to the crusades, so... you know.

There's just somethin' about you I know Started centuries ago though You see your kiss is like a lost ghost Only I would know But I, I keep on falling for you Time after time Time after time

7. ‘Viva la Vida’ - Coldplay

You cannot fight this. You know that this is the song for King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem, you know it is. Did you know the official name of this genre of music is “Baroque pop”? Yes, that means more songs like this exist. You will live with this information now.

Don’t fight it. Just let it wash over you.

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing Roman Cavalry choirs are singing Be my mirror, my sword and shield My missionaries in a foreign field For some reason I can't explain Once you go there was never, never an honest word And that was when I ruled the world

Mirror, sword, and shield, the three other members of his party, his missionaries in a foreign field. Thinking emoji. I typed that out so I wouldn’t have a repeat of the crab emoji incident.

8. ‘The Boxer’ - Jerry Douglas (feat. Mumford & Sons, Paul Simon)

Partly inspired by the Bible, Simon & Garfunkle’s ‘The Boxer’ is a folk rock song about poverty, loneliness, and homesickness. It’s written and sung in a style that’s strongly reminiscent of older times, and the final verse about its eponymous boxer is particularly powerful:

In the clearing stands a boxer And a fighter by his trade And he carries the reminders Of ev'ry glove that laid him down Or cut him till he cried out In his anger and his shame "I am leaving, I am leaving" But the fighter still remains

This is what I use for Dismas’ life leading into organized crime and his foolish abandonment of stable job prospects in a half-baked bid for fame, as well as being punched down over and over again but with nowhere else to go. That last part is widely applicable across the cast.

9. ‘I Will Wait’ - Mumford & Sons

I am but a simple man. I see 'folk rock' and add it to my Darkest Dungeon playlist. This song I use for Reynauld - it has that sort of “salt of the earth,” somewhat biblical humility in its choice of words and style.

Raise my hands Paint my spirit gold And bow my head Keep my heart slow

10. ‘Little Lion Man’ - Mumford & Sons

Have we not beaten this song to death yet? Can you blame us? This is the people��s song. We reserve it for all of our favorite fuck-up characters, as primal as Saturn devouring his son. We love this song. Jesus.

Tremble for yourself, my man, You know that you have seen this all before Tremble little lion man, You'll never settle any of your scores Your grace is wasted in your face, Your boldness stands alone among the wreck Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck

The line about learning from your mother in particular is why I think of this song for Dismas’ introspection, but I also associate it with the Hellion.

11. ’From Eden’ - Hozier

There’s too much Hozier in my playlists. There is so much of it, and it’s all important to me, says the hoarder. There’s something about profoundly intimate folk music that I love, and god put folk, R&B, blues, and alt rock into a Vitamix for 45 seconds to make Hozier.

Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword Innocence died screaming, honey ask me I should know I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

‘From Eden’ is, according to Hozier, about idolizing someone from a distance, written from the perspective of the devil “looking longingly at something he desires - for everything that he does not have.” I associate this song with the Grave Robber for its playfully nihilistic tone - Audrey does say something to the effect of being left for dead by high society and the affectionate bordering condescending address is on-brand.

12. ‘Cherry Wine’ - Hozier

‘Cherry Wine’ is unabashedly about domestic violence, and its sincerity is heartbreaking, the sanctification of the blood spilled in the name of keeping her.

The way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

This song is strongly tied to the Vestal for me.

13. ‘Work Song’ - Hozier

A song about unconditional love - heaven and hell were just words, indeed.

When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her

I think of this song for both Dismas and the Abomination - it’s a song about love transcending spiritual and even physical need, complete devotion, but something about it is also not quite right. It’s morbid and excessive, self-pitying, and almost ugly in its sincerity.

14. ‘Sunlight’ - Hozier

The strong gospel influence with the choruses, church organ, religious fervor - I think it makes a great song for traveling scenes and church/altar scenes.

I had been lost to you, sunlight Flew like a moth to you, sunlight oh sunlight Oh, your love is sunlight Oh, your love is sunlight (sunlight, sunlight) But it is sunlight

15. ‘Arsonist’s Lullabye’ - Hozier

The gospel this time is paired with electric rock instrumentation. Something about the lamentation is unapologetic and matter-of-fact in its disturbing inclinations - this is Paracelsus’ song. Arguably representative of Bounty Hunter and Flagellant as well.

Now that I think about it, it’s great for Abomination as well. Damn.

All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash

16. ‘We Sink’ - Of Monsters and Men

Of Monsters and Men are closer to the indie rock/pop spectrum with influences of folk, with much less biblical influence and more folklore-inspired lyrics. They make for great trailer and action songs.

We are the sleepers, we bite our tongues We set the fire and we let it burn Through the dreamers, we hear the hum They say come on, come on, let's go So come on, come on, let's go

In Lovecraft’s Cthulu mythos, dreams are how the Old Ones commune with humans on the earth’s surface while they slumber in the ocean depths (Cthulhu fhtagn meaning “Cthulhu is dreaming”); I like to think of the ‘sleepers’ as the heroes being tasked to “set the fire” and the ‘dreamers’ being the Heir and Ancestor driven by some unseen force to unearth the antediluvian underground.

17. ‘I Of The Storm’ - Of Monsters and Men

Very somber song, overwhelmingly piano and snare drum and vocals. Also a great death scene song, or for introspection around the campfire, or played to reveal a major event.

If I could face them If I could make amends With all my shadows I'd bow my head And welcome them

18. ‘King and Lionheart’ - Of Monsters and Men

My favorite OMAM song - it’s clearly written about two children, kind of reminiscent of ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ in its fantastical nature, and very upbeat about the end of the world.

His crown lit up the way as we moved slowly Pass the wondering eyes of the ones that were left behind Though far away, though far away, though far away We're still the same, we're still the same, we're still the same

This part is reminiscent of the Leper’s journey, but the mentions of taking over a town, howling ghosts, the end of the world, a black sea and creatures lurking below, etc. are all evocative of Darkest Dungeon.

19. ‘Little Talks’ - Of Monsters and Men

Also very upbeat for its subject matter - according to OMAM, it’s a narrative of a woman speaking with the ghost of her dead husband, or going insane and believing that she’s speaking with her dead husband.

Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

The call-and-respond style of the song is haunting. I like this song for expeditions and afflicted heroes.

20. ‘Wolves Without Teeth’ - Of Monsters and Men

Suitable for both Occultist and Abomination, being consumed by an unseen and otherworldly force that inhabits them - well, maybe just rarely seen, in the Abomination’s case. Special mention to OMAM’s ‘Human,’ same conceptual backing but more raw.

You hover like a hummingbird Haunt me in my sleep You're sailing from another world Sinking in my sea, oh You're feeding on my energy I'm letting go of it He wants it

21. ‘Desierto’ (Original Motion Picture Score) - Woodkid

This is a full album, because all of it is dark orchestral cinema music described as ‘unsettling,’ with the sole exception of ‘Land of All,’ which has vocals to it. I reserve this album for writing fight scenes and for particularly unsettling events because it’s tense and wordless. I read Junji Ito to this soundtrack too, it’s insanely high-strung and discordant.

22. ‘Iron’ - Woodkid

‘Iron’ qualifies as Baroque pop - you might recognize this as the Assassin’s Creed: Revelations song. The large-scale, cinematic style of it and thematic lyrics make it great for writing about dramatic encounters or brigands.

This deadly burst of snow is burning my hands I'm frozen to the bones, I am A million miles from home, I'm walking away I can't recall your eyes, your face

23. ‘Never Let You Down’ - Woodkid (feat. LYKKE LI)

Another somber song, orchestral with some industrial noise in the mix - another great introspection song, or one for a scene with some hard decisions to be made.

Will you come along cause I'm about to leave this town In my eyes, a waterfall, all I can hear, a siren call Could you be waiting by the shore, oh I could drown without you Will you be holding out the line when I fall?

24. ‘Run Boy Run’ - Woodkid

Church bells, fast percussion, strong orchestral presence. For chase scenes, obviously, but great for fast-paced sneaking scenes as well. Also has a strong quasi-Medieval fantasy setting style to it.

Tomorrow is another day And you won't have to hide away You'll be a man, boy! But for now it's time to run, it's time to run!

25. ‘I Love You’ - Woodkid

Don’t let the scream effects and aggressive percussion at the beginning deter you (it kind of took me by surprise the first few times too) - it soon fades into more of the church bells and melodic string accompaniment.

Oh yeah, unrequited love song? It’s free (mental) real estate, baby.

Is there anything I could do Just to get some attention from you? In the waves, I've lost every trace of you Where are you?

26. ‘Vagabonds’ - Grizfolk

A rare departure from folk! Grizfolk is alt rock/indie pop. Stylistically it doesn’t match the feeling of Darkest Dungeon, but lyrically it’s almost 1:1 to arrival in the hamlet and the subsequent expeditions. Good song for writing about recruits bonding.

Oh this careless ground, guessing this is home now Oh in no man's land, at least we're still standing And we're all just fighting, some of us will not return And there's no redemption in trying to find your way out

27. ‘Everybody Wants To Rule The World’ - Lorde

Great trailer fuel, if you’ve seen the AC: Unity E3 trailer with this song - I listen to an extended version when writing fights in the Guild, especially one where two heroes are beefing. It’s got a primal kind of thing going on. I also associate this song with the Arbalest - lyrically, it fits her backstory like a glove.

Welcome to your life There's no turning back Even while we sleep We will find you

Acting on your best behavior Turn your back on mother nature

28. ‘Torches’ - X Ambassadors

More alt rock/indie pop - kind of a rallying song for dark expeditions, hopeful but still somber in nature - some gospel elements. X Ambassadors’ more popular ‘Renegades’ is also a fun tavern song.

Come on, carry your flame Carry it higher Leave it in the darkness Carry your torches

29. ‘Passing Afternoon’ - Iron & Wine

This is a song I use for reconciliation or domestic scenes - Dismas with Junia in the garden, for example. It’s soft and kind of meandering, and features vintage piano - you know, the piano you heard in the basement of your church turned community center as a child.

There are times that walk from you like some passing afternoon Summer warmed the open window of her honeymoon And she chose a yard to burn but the ground remembers her Wooden spoons, her children stir her Bougainvillea blooms

30. ‘Some Nights’ - Fun.

You know this song, your mom knows this song, everyone knows this song from like, middle school. Thought it’d be fun to end this list on an uplifting and very popular song. This is the song that a Disney adaptation of Darkest Dungeon would use in the Training Montage™ - from the point of view of Reynauld. It hits all of the points - being their commander rather than their equal, his stern and antisocial zealotry with no true ideology behind it, the ghost of his wife.

Verse 2, starting with “Well, that is it, guys, that is all / Five minutes in and I'm bored again” is where I see it transitioning to Dismas.

Well, some nights, I wish that this all would end 'Cause I could use some friends for a change And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again Some nights, I always win (I always win) But I still wake up, I still see your ghost Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights, I don't know

_____

Well that’s all from me! Feel free to leave your own recommendations in the replies, and I’d love to know what you think about my personal picks. :+)

#darkest dungeon #playlist #song reccomendations #fic: the myth of sisyphus #give me that hozier baby

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emmalovesu · 4 years

Text

Kuan

By Emma Angela Cayton

The word 'kuan' had been an arguably, great part of our daily lives. It had spread just like a virus, in which any person can be infected. "Shhh! Dili lagi magsaba saba ba kay makuan ka sa kuan." The word 'kuan' had been one among the same old words that at all times I hear. 'So what is the purpose of your study?' our research adviser asked 'Uhm... Kuan ma'am... Kuan...The purpose of our study is kuan.. " Kuan here, kuan there, kuan everywhere.

So for now, let us all see how does the word 'kuan' being used. The word kuan is applicable in hesitant speech, or in order to show uncertainty in reference to something. The word kuan is used as a placeholder name on occasion of a thing, person, time, quantity, quality, place, is temporarily forgotten, unknown, irrelevant, deliberately being avoided, or understandable by means of the context to the people involved within the conversation. The proposed meaning can also be understood depending on the preposition or article used. For example, si kuan will always refer to a person (For the word si in Bisaya means he/she), while sa kuan can refer to a time, place, or thing (depending on context and its position in the sentence).

Different situations where we usually face the word 'kuan'.

'Asa man nimo gibutang ang kuan? Where did you put the whatdoyoucallitagain? Instead of saying, "Asa man nimo gibutang ang charger?" (Where did you put the charger?) The situation here is that someone is actually looking for the charger but has forgotten the word for "charger". And what does he use as a filler for the word "charger"? He used "kuan." This it the kind of situation that I wanted to avoid as much as I can. Let me just illustrate to give you a broader understanding about this situation. My mom would say, 'Kuhaa sa tong kuan kaw' then I just stand there waiting for her to finish the sentence she wanted to convey. But ofcourse since she already forgot that she did not actually said the word, she will just scold at me and I need to shut my mouth and absorb all the things she wanted to say. Sometimes 'kuan' is also used to replace a word that is something that you don't want to mention, especially in the event of the word has a sexual meaning or if the word is actually inappropriate or offensive. She is such a flirt. Kuan kaayo siya. Another situation is when of the people involved in the conversation already knew who or what they are actually talking about. 'Hoy nakita nimo tong myday ni kuan? ' (Have you seen his/her facebook story?) Familiar? Or even when the people involved in the conversation and the person they are talking about is around. 'Hoy naa si kuan sa imong likod oh! ' (Hey he / she's behind you!) More likely my friends and I usually get involved in this kind of situation when their crushes are around.

In this part of my essay we would try to see how he word 'Kuan' is being used in the Chinese culture. Surprisingly the word 'kuan' is kinda popular in their country. Since the word 'kuan' is used to name a child in China, I have included a statement that would explain why in their cultures names are important. Names in China are very crucial since it gives you a great insight into their family and background. Unlike the other countries, (where names are often chosen based on whether the parents happen to ‘like’ the name). Sometimes parents name their children based on their forebears. Where parents recycle their forebear's name in naming their children. But let us all try to focus why does name play a very crucial value in Chinese culture. According to Paul Chong (2010), "Since history began, Chinese have always believed in the significance of one’s name. They have developed a very comprehensive system of naming their children as it is believed that the name of a person strongly influences one’s destiny and fate. Astrologers, fortune tellers, academics and monks are often consulted when choosing a name for the new born. The other cultures, however do not really believe in it and tend to brush it off as superstition." This just show how inclined the Chinese in their culture are. The word 'Kuan' had been used in China as a name. The true meaning of ‘Kuan’ (in China) cannot be described with just a few words. Kuan is a name that means a highly charged personality that attracts potent ideas. Kuan are diplomatic, gentle, intuitive, cooperative, and might even be a psychic.

But wait there's more. Kuan had been also a name of a Chinese pottery of the Sung period in the 12th century. Let us try to know the origin of 'Kuan' pottery in China. The editors of encyclopaedia Britannica explains that, "Guan kilns, Pinyin Guan yao, or Wade-Giles Kuan yao, Chinese kilns known for creating an imperial variety of stoneware during the Song dynasty (AD 960–1279). After the Song royal court moved to the south, Guan kilns produced ware from about 1127 at Hangzhou, Zhejiang province. One of the official kilns, Jiaotan, has been located by scholars near Wugui Shan (Tortoise Hill); many rich examples of the ware were unearthed there. Guan ware was characterized by a wash of brown slip and by glazes varying from pale green to lavender blue. Artisans often applied brown pigment to emphasize a wide-meshed network of cracks."

I have found out that the word 'kuan' is also referred to a goddess of compassion in Chinese Bodhisattva. (A bodhisattva is defined by Kosho Uchiyama (2016) as an "ordinary person who takes up a course in his or her life that moves in the direction of Buddha.") Goddess Kuan Yin or Quan Yin is again referred to the goddess of compasion and mercy. Because of this Quan Yin/ Kuan Yin is portrayed in pouring wisdom and compassion from a sacred vase, also she you can also see images of her holding children or giving something to those who are in need. She is also defined by Rodika Tchi (2019) as "one of the major deities in Buddhism and one of the most popular deities used in feng shui." Rodika Tchi also stated that "The One with a Motherly Compassion, She who Hears the Cries of the People are the Quan Yin's attributes. A great protector and benefactor, her heart is full of deep compassion and unconditional love; her energy is God-like. As such, Quan Yin is welcomed in many feng shui applications and is one of the most popular (and sacred) feng shui cures. Due to her commitment to helping humans, she is approached with any concerns, troubles, or worries. Be it family, career, health or relationships, no trouble is too big to be brought to the motherly and all-powerful energy of Quan Yin." I know you have been really fascinated at the same time infowhelm by how the word 'kuan' had been used by the Chinese but wait there's more! The word 'kuan' is also a courtesy name of a Chinese landscape painter of the Song Dynasty. The Travelers among Mountains and Streams, a large hanging scroll, is Fan Kuan's best known work and it had been given idea to the new generation painters (in which it have been given them an inspiration). The historian Patricia Ebrey explains her view on the painting that the: "...foreground, presented at eye level, is executed in crisp, well-defined brush strokes. Jutting boulders, tough scrub trees, a mule train on the road, and a temple in the forest on the cliff are all vividly depicted. There is a suitable break between the foreground and the towering central peak behind, which is treated as if it were a backdrop, suspended and fitted into a slot behind the foreground. There are human figures in this scene, but it is easy to imagine them overpowered by the magnitude and mystery of their surroundings."

Too bad for the word 'kuan' due to the fact that in our culture 'kuan' more likely to be used as an interjection. Unlike in the Chinese culture where using the word 'kuan' are used on the occasion of naming a child that is incorporated with a certain personality. Also the word 'Kuan' in China had been also a part of their culture in the terms where, China used to call a type of pottery as 'Kuan'. Although hearing the word 'kuan' again and again might be really annoying, but it was really fascinating to learn that this word actually means more than what we already knew. After all the information that I had throughout this essay. I've remembered the quote 'Never stop learning because life never stops teaching.' This made me realize that we should never settle for the things that we already knew and always yearn for something new.

Lastly, may the 'kuan' be in your favor.

References

https://www.google.com/amp/s/paulchong.net/2010/09/02/the-significance-of-chinese-names/amp/

https://www.britannica.com/art/Guan-kilns

https://tricycle.org/magazine/what-bodhisattva/amp/

https://www.thespruce.com/quan-yin-statue-as-feng-shui-cure-for-your-home-1274917

https://www.comuseum.com/painting/masters/fan-kuan/

@queenlupitajones

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mspa-music-analysis · 4 years

Text

Beyond Canon - exclusion zone

alright first song in the Beyond Canon album, exclusion zone. lets break it up.

PERSONAL THOUGHTS/LISTENING EXPERIENCE

I got literal fucking shivers. Holy shit. Holy shit. The first twenty seconds of this song is it’s own fucking experience. When the vocals come in at 00:46 I feel as though I am standing on a craggy cliff face, maybe on a mountain, the sky is grey, there’s mist and magic in the air, and I should be dreading something. I feel like taking a deep breath and preparing to see an army coming up over the adjacent hill. I feel like I’m about to go up against something huge.

When I first clicked on the new Homestuck album in disbelief, double checking the release date, I wasn’t expecting much. Sure Homestuck music is utterly wonderful, but I’ve never been able to listen to instrumentals very well, they don’t capture my attention without lyrics to focus on. but hearing the first few notes of this song. Holy. Fucking. Shit. I am not the same man. Oh my god. This first minute is what got me to listen to this entire album in one sitting.

At 1:00 you hear a muffled voice and the sound of breaking glass, and it feels like the illusion of nature and magic and dread shatters. A robotic voice chimes in ‘you just made a monster’ and you get it, for just a second. You feel like something terrible has happened and you have no idea how the fuck you’re going to pick up the pieces. This song sets the stage for the album, and it makes anticipation thrum through your bones, especially on the first listen.

The latter half of the song is letting this feeling sink in, letting your anticipation, your excitement, your dread, grow into a magnificent beast. As the last bit cycles you feel your heartbeat quicken, your breath catch, and you just have to sit there for a second. Holy shit. This song feels like saying ‘holy shit’ in reverence. Over and over again.

The ending feels like you have no idea what the fuck you’re getting into. All you can do is click onto the next song.

INSTRUMENTAL/VOCAL ANALYSIS

I’m no musical expert, but I’m going to try to explain this as well as I can. Music snobs, sorry, experts, please remember I am but a humble fool who has never taken a music class beyond fifth grade. An amateur if you will.

I’m going to be using the word synth so fucking much in these, aren’t I. I’m torn between some sort of string, a synth, or an organ playing the opening notes, and I’m fairly sure it’s the synth. Homestuck music wouldn’t be Homestuck music for not the synth.

The synth, as I am going to call it despite how unsure I am that it is one, immediately gives you an overwhelming cathedral feeling. You get a little while to marinate in this feeling before the vocals chime in. The vocals and the synth meld so beautifully into each other, they feel so natural coming together. There’s a moment where you say ‘yay! vocals in a Homestuck song!’ which will later seem oh so ironic.

Then, in a change of tone, a muffled, hard to understand, male-sounding voice pops in. It sounds like a frantic report, breaking news, or a call for backup. It could sound to some like officials chasing dangerous dissenters, and to others a discreet warning to fellow rebels that the brass are coming. I tried so fucking hard to get an audio editing program to pick this shit apart, but I have a Chromebook for some godforsaken reason. Sorry, folks, we’ll have to see if anyone replies to my tweet with our answers. For reasons, which are definitely real actual reasons with no attachment to aesthetics, I am going to call this voice ‘the radio’.

Directly after the infuriating piece of walky-talky Esq vocals, there’s a sound of breaking glass. I think perhaps that is my favorite moment in the entire track, if not the entire album. Not to assign too much meaning to a singular bit of sound, but it feels like every expectation I had for Homestuck music was completely shattered. Like the glass ceiling that prevented Homestuck music from becoming legendary because it was just a shitty web-comic (which was already untrue) is broken through with just the first half of this song. Does that make sense? In short, this album really is on an entire other level of music entirely, and it knows it. This is possibly supported by the album cover, which is Ultimate Dirk sitting in a pile of previous Homestuck album covers. Must I explain this one? (I will if you ask, really. I’m perhaps a bit too eager, in fact.)

Directly after the glass shatters, more instruments join in. I think these are also synths? It sounds techy, it sounds dystopian. You know when people say techno is just beeps and boops? Yeah, there’s a lot of beeps and boops in this, and frankly, I love it. Then, another distorted, techy, mechanical, feminine?, voice pops in saying ‘you just made a monster’. I’m going to call this voice the monster, but not necessarily because I think they are the monster, and I will elaborate on this later. This is my second favorite moment in the track. It’s just. Wow. Breathtaking. The monster repeats for a while, the rest of the song. The third time, an almost more human sounding, but not by much, monster joins in. There’s an air of indignance, of anger, desperation, vengeance. It sounds like there’s another phrase buried under some sounds there, at 1:28? I absolutely can not make it out for the life of me, and it is driving me crazy.

The monster is chopped up and distributed evenly throughout the rest of the song, quite fucking marvelously. At 1:39 there’s a pause in the instrumental, and for just a second, you’re left with this steady note sung by the monster. It’s haunting. I didn’t notice it my first few listen throughs, but now that I’ve been sitting here looping the track, I can’t help but hear it. It definitely gives me a feeling, but I haven’t decided what that feeling is yet.

The sound bits that sound like a broken robot, or another voice saying ‘anoyie’ over and over, are quite possibly going to drive me insane. I find myself desperately needing to hear where the fuck these audio bytes came from. I need to hear the originals. I do not care if they are random mouth noises. My curiosity is insatiable. I am fairly sure it is just the monster cut to hell, but there’s just something nagging at me saying otherwise. I don’t know, perhaps I’m finally going insane from looping the robot song for two hours.

I don’t love the ending? There’s one last monster repeat, a sort of clapping sound (an interesting change of pace), silence for half a second, more of that damned ‘anoyie’ and I am further convinced it is not the monster, and then nothing. It isn’t quite unsatisfying, but it isn’t satisfying either. It is most certainly an ending. I can say for a fact there are instruments in the ending. And that’s all I have to say on that.

HERE’S WHERE SHIT GETS CRAZY

Alright, time to sound like a madman. Here is where I am going to assign arbitrary Homestuck-related, possibly plot-related, meaning. Take all of this with a grain of salt and forgive my overuse of phrases like ‘I feel’ and ‘I think’.

So, putting the song in the context of the album title ‘Beyond Canon’, and therefore most likely The Epilogues and Homestuck^2, I do indeed have a few theories. Not all make a whole lot of sense, and a few are based quite heavily on ‘feelings’ and ‘vibes’. I hated putting vibes in quotes, never make me do that again. To start with, the beginning, before the radio, reminds me very much of Ultimate Dirk (Ult. Dirk), Terezi, and RoseBot on that new planet. Perhaps because of the air of desolation, not in relation to the note, and foreboding? Perhaps because I have assigned an air of forced serenity to this part, and I very much feel like Ult. Dirk is trying to force serenity onto his section of the narrative, despite what’s coming his way? Hm. Much to think about.

The radio, I cannot puzzle out exactly. DaveBot, perhaps? Trying to break through from the Candy universe and coming out muffled? I don’t have much to go on, and I am waiting until I have figured out exactly what the radio is actually saying.

The glass shattering. Oh, the glass shattering. Fenestrated plane, anyone? The fourth wall, anyone? Good god, shattered glass + Homestuck = SHIT IS GOING DOWN. This makes me very excited. It could just be metaphorical, as I was saying before, but I very much have a feeling that things are going to get that particular brand of very Homestuck fucked soon. And I am oh so excited.

The monster! Oh, how I love the monster. There’s so many things I can see the monster being, as well as referencing. Lets get right the fuck into it. First! The Auto Responder, or Lil’ Hal. You know how every splinter and alternate self combines to create the Ultimate Self? (I have so many theories about this, oh my god, I might make an entire other blog for more Homestuck analysis) Well, what if it isn’t a perfect meld? Dirk is a Prince, after all, a destroyer. There’s no way, however Ultimate he may be, he’s perfect and whole. What if specific splinters find their way to shine through? Like, for instance, Hal accusing Dirk of making a monster out of all his iterations. I know, it’s far fetched, and I took quite a few liberal steps to get there. But just perhaps.

A not so wild theory is an obvious one, I think. The monster is Rosebot. It’s vaguely feminine, robot-y, and references a recent creation. Rose’s consciousness breaking through Dirk’s command? Seems likely to me.

A third! Perhaps it’s DaveBot? It seems less likely than the RoseBot theory, due simply to the femininity of the voice, but at the same time it seems like DaveBot would be more likely to fight Dirk’s control of his personal narrative, if only because we haven’t seen his robot form be entirely complicit yet. Either way, I doubt this one. I just want it on the record in case I’m right. *wink*. (I refuse to use a winky face in a semi-serious analysis, it just feels wrong.)

And this one isn’t really a theory, but I keep coming back to it. Is anyone else reminded of AradiaBot? Especially that second of the monster just singing with no instrumental. I can give no explanation except for a feeling. I wasn’t going to include this, but, well, trust your gut or something. Maybe she’ll come back and my random thought will be justified.

Now, do I think this will be used in Homestuck^2 as a flash at some point. Short answer: I don’t know. Long and less shitty answer: I feel as though it could go either way! I can’t really see a song with vocals like this getting a flash, if only because it’s very straightforward and I don’t know if you can jam a whole lot of plot into this song, unlike some of the others. That said, it would be just like Homestuck to completely blow away my expectations and jam the entire ending into it. Hey, Homestuck? Please don’t do that. I love Act 7, I really do, but also just please don’t. Ever again, thank you.

Maybe Meat Kanaya will liberate RoseBot from Ult. Dirk’s control and this song will play as she beats the shit out of him. I would like that, I think.

CONCLUSIONS

Personal Rating: Holy Shit

Objective Musical Rating: Robots Have Never Sounded So Vengeful And I Love It

Plot-Relevance Rating: It’s Possible But The Outlook Isn’t Good, Chief

Would It Stand On Its Own?: Fuck Yes It Would. I Sang This When I Came Out Of The Womb.

did u nut tho: yuh

#homestuck #beyond canon #dirk strider #alaysis #413 #exclusion zone #epilogues #homestuck epologue #homestuck2 #rosebot #davebot #hal #lil hal #uh fuck tags bro i hate tagging #kanaya #should i tag aradia #yeah fuck it #aradia #aradiabot

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sheenaghshanmusicblog-blog · 4 years

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Music Theory Analysis Blog

Hey guys! It’s Sheenagh. I hope you’re all keeping well. For my second post here I thought to put some of the music theory that you guys learnt in my first post into practice. To do this, I am going to analyze the use and function of several theory concepts in two popular contemporary pieces of music- “Blank Space” by Taylor Swift, and “Jolene” by Dolly Parton. This will hopefully put some of the key elements of music theory into context for you!

Song 1: “Blank Space” - Taylor Swift https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-ORhEE9VVg

The first song I have chosen to analyze is the 2014 pop hit “Blank Space” by the ten-time Grammy award winner Taylor Swift. The song “Blank Space” is written in a satirical style, addressing how the media perceived Swift and her relationships for years. Swift co-wrote the song with Max Martin and Shellback. The three writers wrote it from the perspective of the crazy serial dater that the media was making Taylor Swift out to be for so long. I will begin by providing you with the song’s lyrics below.

Lyrics:

Nice to meet you, where you been? I could show you incredible things Magic, madness, heaven sin Saw you there and I thought Oh my God, look at that face You look like my next mistake Love's a game, want to play? New money, suit and tie I can read you like a magazine Ain't it funny, rumors, lie And I know you heard about me So hey, let's be friends I'm dying to see how this one ends Grab your passport and my hand I can make the bad guys good for a weekend

So it's gonna be forever Or it's gonna go down in flames You can tell me when it's over If the high was worth the pain Got a long list of ex-lovers They'll tell you I'm insane 'Cause you know I love the players And you love the game

'Cause we're young and we're reckless We'll take this way too far It'll leave you breathless Or with a nasty scar Got a long list of ex-lovers They'll tell you I'm insane But I've got a blank space baby And I'll write your name

Cherry lips, crystal skies I could show you incredible things Stolen kisses, pretty lies You're the king baby I'm your Queen Find out what you want Be that girl for a month Wait the worst is yet to come, oh no Screaming, crying, perfect storm I can make all the tables turn Rose gardens filled with thorns Keep you second guessing like "Oh my God, who is she?" I get drunk on jealousy But you'll come back each time you leave 'Cause darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream

'Cause we're young and we're reckless We'll take this way too far It'll leave you breathless Or with a nasty scar Got a long list of ex-lovers They'll tell you I'm insane (Insane) But I've got a blank space baby And I'll write your name

Boys only want love if it's torture Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn ya Boys only want love if it's torture Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn ya

Style, Melody, And Harmony

Within the pop music genre today, primary elements of music theory such as melody meeting certain criteria is extremely important. Typically, pop songs have catchy, simple melodies, in particular memorable hooks that are sung over 3 or 4 chord progressions. They generally have both a verse and a chorus, each with different musical material, and in a lot of cases, a bridge connecting them too. The vocal style that is found in many pop songs has been largely influenced by African American musical traditions, for example, Rhythm and Blues (R&B), gospel music, and soul music. A strong sense of melodic direction is characteristic to all of these types of music.

In relation to “Blank Space”, the song definitely features a very interesting, attention-grabbing melody that reflects the theme of the song. Furthermore, it is in the key of F major, and features no key changes. The chords change consistently every two bars as is common in the pop style. This means that the song’s harmonic rhythm stays the same for the entire duration of the song.

The song’s vocals on the whole are pretty thin in terms of timbre and texture, which is why they are double layered (as in the majority of pop music). The inclusion of vocal harmonies in the chorus and bridge is also due to this, as is the occasional overdub. This adds an extra layer of instrumentation to the song.

Instrumentation And Rhythm

As I discussed above, the song “Blank Space” includes a very memorable melody, which essentially strips down to a basic riff loop. This riff loop introduces a new instrument every 4 bars, which is effective at keeping listeners engaged. The song’s instrumentation largely consists of synthetic instruments, such as digitalized drums, bass, lead and pads. In the second chorus, the introduction of the clean acoustic guitar and vocal harmonies can be heard to create a thicker texture to the chorus. This is effective at creating a sense of build-up in the song before the bridge, a technique used widely in pop music.

In relation to rhythm, pop songs like “Blank Space” include a lot of emphasis on the song’s rhythm. Throughout the years, the rhythms and the sound of pop music have been heavily influenced by the genres of rock and roll, reggae, swing jazz, funk, disco, and in more recent years, hip hop. These styles of music all emphasize rhythm. This oftentimes includes syncopation, a basic stripped-down riff, or simple loop that is repeated throughout the majority of the song. Such repetition as seen in “Blank Space” is a technique that is successful at making a song more memorable. Additionally, “Blank Space” has a 4/4 time signature, which is again, typical to the pop style- the most common time signature within the pop genre. Similarly, its tempo of 96 BPM falls into the typical pop song range.

Structure

The song “Blank Space”’ has a structure typical to that of a song written in the modern pop style- a generic verse – chorus structure. To examine it in more depth however, it essentially consists of an intro (which is 2 bars long), verse (16 bars), chorus (16 bars), interlude (2 bars), second verse, repeated chorus, bridge (8 bars), and then the chorus again. At 3 minutes and 51 seconds long, the song fits perfectly within the bracket of 3-5 minutes for the average length of a pop hit.

Additionally, the fact that this song is written in a very standard pop song style like the rest of Swift’s songs, while being entirely different in subject and in perspective, is very ironic and a part of the satirical nature and structure of “Blank Space”. As the song is written in the first-person narrative in a satirical way, this play on how most pop songs are self-referential is a technique that Swift used in "Blank Space” that is unique and clever.

Song 2: “Jolene” - Dolly Parton https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ixrje2rXLMA

The second song that I have chosen to analyze is the iconic country song “Jolene” written by Dolly Parton, released in 1974. Written without any co-writers and in many ways very different to “Blank Space”, this song addresses honest, universal emotions in a very admirable vulnerable way, and would be a lot more relatable to listeners than “Blank Space” would be. Such themes include envy, insecurity, and a fear of being abandoned. I will begin my analysis of this song by providing you with the lyrics below.

Lyrics:

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene I'm begging of you please don't take my man Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene Please don't take him just because you can

Your beauty is beyond compare With flaming locks of auburn hair With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green Your smile is like a breath of spring Your voice is soft like summer rain And I cannot compete with you Jolene

He talks about you in his sleep And there's nothing I can do to keep From crying when he calls your name Jolene

And I can easily understand How you could easily take my man But you don't know what he means to me Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene I'm begging of you please don't take my man Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene Please don't take him just because you can

You could have your choice of men But I could never love again He's the only one for me Jolene

I had to have this talk with you My happiness depends on you And whatever you decide to do Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene I'm begging of you please don't take my man Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene Please don't take him even though you can Jolene, Jolene

Subject - What Inspired “Jolene”?

The song “Jolene” was inspired by a beautiful red-haired lady who worked at the local bank where Parton lived at the time, who would regularly flirt with Parton’s husband Carl Dean, shortly after he had married Parton. Parton felt inadequate and feared that this woman (whose real name was actually not Jolene) would steal her husband from her. In an interview, Parton told the story of how she chose the name Jolene for this lady- at one of Parton’s shows a young fan who asked her for her autograph told her that her name was Jolene. The name instantly captivated Parton who began saying it over and over to herself, before telling the girl that her pretty name sounded like a song, and she was going to write a song called “Jolene”. This leads me on to the songwriting technique of repetition that is cleverly employed in this song.

Repetition And Melody

Just like when she heard the name first, the name Jolene is continuously repeated in the song in a haunting, memorable way. As Parton said herself, both the song’s melody and the repeated word “Jolene” are so intriguingly simple and repetitive that even a first-grader or baby can sing it! The fact that the name “Jolene” is repeated so much throughout the song not only helps to make the song really catchy, but also reinforces the emotions of desperation and begging, that are center to the song’s theme. The song’s repetitive nature can also be seen when we consider that there is a catchy riff that is repetitively heard throughout the song (as heard in the song’s four-bar intro). This riff undeniably reflects the anxiety that Parton felt about the Jolene situation perfectly. It sounds mysterious, yet unquestionably nervous, envious, and desperate. However, Parton adds an element of strength and bravery to her situation by boldly repeating Jolene’s name with such confidence. The fact that the melodically most memorable part of the song is Jolene’s name conveys this. Although Parton is in a place of weakness wondering whether or not her husband will cheat on her with this woman he sees regularly that she is clearly jealous of, there is power in Parton imploring Jolene through directly saying her name. Jolene’s name is repeated in the verses as well as the chorus, which is effective at emphasizing the sense of urgency that Dolly Parton in relation to getting through to this woman.

Melody And Harmony Continued!

In stark contrast to the chorus’ melody, which peaks and holds on the last of the four “Jolene”s, the verse melody keeps moving. It is not accidental that the highest note in the song is on the word “Jolene”. In both the verse and chorus, the melody essentially ascends and then descends. The verse finishes rising at the G#, and the chorus rises even higher, to its climax point at C#. “Jolene’s melody stays within a range of an octave and a second (B up to high C#). When the song is in such a high pitch, this vocal range is particularly impressive. Another interesting fact about the melody is that it begins with the exact same notes as the roots of the chords (namely C# and E), but when it gets to B (the third chord), the note is an F#- this note sounds great against the bass note- D#.

Structure

The song essentially consists of a chorus, three verses, then the chorus a second time, two verses, and the chorus again. This means it follows the ternary form of songwriting, which means it has an ABA structure. Often called the song form, this form of songwriting means that the song consists of an opening section, a following section, and then a return to the first section, namely the chorus-verse-chorus structure that “Jolene” has. This pattern is obviously repeated a couple of times. Ternary form is the most simple structure of songwriting, as seen with “Jolene”. The song is simple and direct, and in ways predictable, but interesting enough to keep us engaged. Unlike in “Blank Space” there is no bridge in “Jolene”, which means that the emphasis is entirely on the verses and choruses which naturally really stand out, the chorus in particular. It is a relatively short song too which adds to how radio-friendly it is. At 2 minutes 42 seconds, it is over a minute shorter than “Blank Space”, which is 3 minutes and 51 seconds long.

Further Structure Analysis

The song “Jolene” was written in the key of C sharp minor. The chord progression is unusual, but simple- C# minor, E major, B major, and C# minor, then B major to C# minor again. There is also a bar of C# minor at the end of every phrase. The fact that the chord progression both begins and ends on the C # minor really contributes to how it remains sonically rooted in the minor key for the entire duration of the song. This really contributes to the mood that is created in this song, as the sense of hope that can be heard in the melody on te C #or-E major-B major chords is lost once we return the C# minor chord.

Style and Lyrics Part 1

The song “Jolene” is a country song, typical to the country music genre. Traditionally, country songs would usually consist of ballads and dance songs that have simple forms just like “Jolene” has, narrative, honest lyrics, strong vocal melodies, and harmonies that are accompanied on traditional instruments. These instruments would typically be the fiddle, the banjo, both electric and acoustic guitars, and steel guitars. In the country genre, the lyrics tend to take precedent over the sonic soundscape. We can see this in “Jolene”, as it is a song which centers around the story that Parton tells through her lyrics, with simple yet effective instrumentation. Her lyrics tell the emotionally powerful and complex story of Jolene truthfully, bravely, and coherently. The feelings addressed are universal (such as envy), yet are often viewed as the more negative emotions that shouldn’t be fully dwelled on or admitted to. Dolly Parton confronts these feelings with directness that is characteristic to the country music genre. This being said, Parton is surprisingly dignified, and does not express any anger or spite towards Jolene, in spite of how clear it is to us that she would have many reasons to be annoyed and frustrated at her. Similarly, the fact that the song is written with Dolly Parton speaking directly to Jolene is very typical to the country music style of writing. A noticeable amount of country songs are written in this style, a lot more than songs from other genres such as the pop genre. For example, Taylor Swift wrote “Blank Space” from the point of view of the serial dater that the media was saying she was at the time, rather than from her own point of view speaking directly to the media.

Style and Lyrics Part 2

One aspect of the country music style that is evident in “Jolene” is the fact that the song both begins and ends with the chorus. While “Blank Space” ends with the chorus like “Jolene” does, it starts with the verse rather than the chorus. Additionally, the level of detail that Dolly Parton conveys through the song’s lyrics in spite them being very simple and comprehensible, is incredible, and very country-like. For example, the brief line where Parton asks Jolene not to take her husband away from her “just because {she} can”, adds a whole extra layer of depth and additional anxiety to what at first might seem like a basic jealousy song. Similarly, there is an interesting twist in the first verse, which is the longest of the verses. The second verse after the chorus is half of the length of the first one. The first verse starts with Parton complimenting Jolene for her beauty- her “flaming locks of auburn hair”, and her “ivory skin and eyes of emerald green’ for example, yet halfway through it, she heartbreakingly exposes how vulnerable and insecure she feels about herself in comparison to Jolene, as she “cannot compete” with her.

Instrumentation And Harmony

Sonically, the song “Jolene” is very vocals and harmony based, as I have already explored when discussing the song’s melody. Parton’s voice is very clear and distinct, and although the song has quite a high pitch to it, she hits all the high notes effortlessly. Towards the end of the song, Dolly Parton and the harmonic backing singers call out Jolene’s name one last time, in a higher register. This note is both the highest and longest note in the song, to fully capture the anguish behind the song. This note to me has always stood out because of this, and is the perfect ending to the song. In fact, it is consistently said that the impressive vocal range in “Jolene” is one of the song’s stand-out features. In terms of the instruments played, it can definitely be said that it is a relatively sparse song instrumentally. However, every time the chorus starts all of the instruments start playing to increase the sense of intense fear and desperation in the song. In spite of this, the chorus overall is loud and lively. The sound of the fiddle contributes to this as it is vivacious in tone and sound (1:40). Instrumentally, the song like the melody is memorable and repetitive, especially the chorus, which is where the song truly peaks in intensity and angst. This is in stark contrast to “Blank Space”, which instrumentally and melodically peaks in intensity at the end of the bridge, just before the chorus comes in.

Rhythm

The rhythm in this song is fast and consistent, it does not speed up or slow down at all for the entire duration of the song, typical to the country music style of songwriting. Its tempo is 111 BPM which places it among the more faster of country songs, yet still within the expected range. Its BPM is slightly faster than that of ‘Blank Space”, which is somewhat surprising when one considers that “Blank Space” is a song written in the pop style- pop songs in general tend to have faster tempos than country songs would have. Like “Blank Space” it has a time signature of 4/4, the time signature most commonly found in both the genres of pop and country alike.

Timbre

The song “Jolene” has a slightly surprising warm and mellow tone to it, in spite of it clearly being in a minor key, and about a serious topic. It has even been said that it sounds a bit too lighthearted and vivacious considering its theme, yet this is probably largely due to its fast tempo. There is very little (if any!) shift in timbre throughout the song. When one considers the element of hope that is heard with the first three chord changes in the chorus, namely, C# minor-E major-B major (before it falls back to the C# minor chord), it can perhaps be said that it is Dolly Parton’s voice and lyrics (rather than the song’s timbre or melody) that predominantly contributes to the song sounding as emotional and melancholic as it does. The fact that a song so dark in its subject can be recorded to sound brighter than one would have expected is a characteristic of the country music genre in itself, as seen in other famous country artists songs’, for example Johnny Cash’s famous ‘I Still Miss Someone”, which features a fast, upbeat tempo, like Parton’s “Jolene”.

References Used:

https://www.realworldmusictheory.com/2016/05/13/blank-space-by-taylor-swift-real-world-music-theory/

http://tonyconniff.com/dolly-partons-jolene-getting-inside-a-great-song/

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themattress · 4 years

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Rewatch: My Bride is a Mermaid Ep 25 - 26

Woah. Shit got real in these final two episodes!

Episode 25: The Family Game

The start of the episode reveals that Akeno and her superior have been getting their orders from Lord Yoshio Minamoto, a mer-noble who has a fearful grip on the mer-government and can use it for his own benefit...in this case, to break up Sun and Nagasumi so that he can take Sun for his bride. But because his government subordinates have failed to deliver, this spoiled frat boy is stepping in personally with a scheme to make sure he gets what he wants.

Akeno is to seize on a moment of friction between Sun and Nagasumi to invite the whole Seto Gang to his palace, allegedly for a party full of important merpeople. That moment comes when a basic argument over Nagasumi putting his socks in the laundry while they’re inside-out escalates to the point where Nagsumi and Sun have to confront the fact that their engagement is based on coercion: it was the only way either of them could stay alive. This creates a new emotional distance between the two, especially when Nagasumi stubbornly refuses to apologize. And then....Sun and her family disappears from his life entirely.

While we know that it’s due to Yoshio’s invitation, Nagasumi doesn’t. The whole montage where he goes to various locations he and Sun have been together in the past only to find her absent now, culminating when he enters her empty room and breaks down crying, apologizing to Sun and begging her to come back...damn, that was powerful. The last two episodes already amped up the emotional sincerity, and these two just run with it, with the actual jokes being few and far between when compared to the drama, which intensifies once Yoshio’s so-called party is revealed to be a trap and all of the Setos are knocked out.

Kai and Lunar manage to find out what’s going on, with Lunar’s horrified reaction and her description of how many girls have gone missing while attending Yoshio’s “parties” selling the fear of the situation, while also being heartwarming in how her immediate response is “Sun is in danger!” and dashing off with Kai to mount a rescue. She loves her rival so much. And speaking of rivals who care, Kai doesn’t hesitate in seeking to include Nagasumi in the rescue mission, with his response to Nagasumi’s later vow to go out and get Sun back being “Those are the exact words I’ve been waiting to hear!” Like I said in the last post, Kai has truly grown into a more honorable person (as has Chimp, who is helping him as always).

And if all of that wasn’t heartwarming enough, Nagasumi’s vow only comes after he gets encouragement from Mawari, who tells him that he needs to be honest with his feelings and act upon them, to not give up on his true love. It is also hinted again that Mawari is well aware of the whole mermaid factor at play, but says nothing out of love and respect for everyone. Mawari Zenigata truly cannot have her praises sung loud enough, she is just that awesome.

The ending montage gets you ridiculously pumped to go straight into the next, and final, episode, with the music playing being the most epic the show has ever had as it plays over shots of every character in the show in their current positions. Let’s end this with a bang!

Episode 26: The Place You Go Home To

Right off the bat, we’re ending it with several bangs, as Kai’s submarine must navigate a minefield set up to defend Yoshio’s undersea lair. The awesomeness kicks in immediately when Lunar uses her siren scream to decimate the mines, declaring “I’m the songstress of the Edomae! DON’T UNDERESTIMATE ME!” She, Kai and Nagasumi will stop at nothing to get Sun back, and their true love of her is contrasted perfectly by Yoshio’s repulsive lust. In the manga, Yoshio was a very different character and his desire for Sun had more to do with a religious factor and a hunger for power. But the anime version of him is the most vile kind of guy possible: a sociopathic frat boy who sees women as objects whom he mind-wipes with a magical artifact before having his way with them and grooming them into his loyal slaves. He is a misogynistic rapist and a person with power who gleefully abuses it, and it makes him the most loathsome character in the show without question. You really want to see him go down.

Once the heroes invade Yoshio’s lair, they are met with an army of guards who clash with the army of Mikawa Conglomerate workers Kai brought along. Lunar assists with her song of war, which again turns things into a bloodbath but one that Nagasumi can easily slip away from to reach Yoshio. Yoshio sends Akeno to face him, since her swordsman’s code says that she cannot disobey a mer-noble’s orders. But ever since she discovered the truth about how Yoshio “woos” the women he lusts after and that he intends the same for Sun, Akeno has been struggling to keep to this code, and it only takes Nagasumi reminding her about the reason she first became a swordsman to get her to switch sides and fight alongside him.

Yoshio unleashes both his trio of giant pet eels and his entire fraternity, but then we get a sequence of awesomeness upon awesomeness as everyone comes in to get a badass moment. First it’s Gozaburo and the rest of the Seto Gang, a moment that concludes when Gozaburo knocks down an eel and, seeing the fierce determination Nagasumi has to save Sun, tells him “you’re a Seto now” and throws him a yakuza jacket as he urges him to go rescue his daughter. Then it’s Lunar, Kai and Chimp catching up, with Lunar using a siren scream to blow the frat away and an injured Kai (supported by his faithful Chimp) also urging Nagasumi to go save Sun. Then it’s an injured Akeno using the nature of the Morning Star blade to her advantage and having Ren (who is the one supporting Akeno because Ren is a fucking goddess among women) use her siren scream on it, which magnifies it enough to knock down another eel. And then it’s, out of nowhere, Papa fucking Edomae (still in the schoolgirl outfit because he’s grown comfy in it) dropping from the sky and taking out the last eel, then tag-teaming with his daughter to take on the reconvening frat. It’s just amazing, and it leads into the climax of the episode when Nagasumi finally reaches the room where Sun is being held and confronts Yoshio, who is ready to kill him with his superior merman strength.

Nagasumi stands no chance against Yoshio in a straight 1-on-1 fight, but he doesn’t care, all he cares about is snapping Sun out of her trance. Yoshio brags that nothing can accomplish that, but Nagasumi pours out all of his feelings for Sun, shouting how he loves her and can’t imagine ever living without her. This does it, and with her mind restored, Sun verbally eviscerates Yoshio for being the pathetic third-rate scum that he is. Full of misogynistic rage and toxic masculinity, Yoshio aims to shoot Sun dead, but Nagasumi takes the bullet. And yet he is unharmed, because just being with Sun, simply standing by her side as lovers and as equals, fills him with unlimited power - the Power of Love! With Sun now intentionally directing her love as energy to power Nagsumi up, Yoshio gets the beatdown he deserves.

As awesome as this is, I still have one minor quibble about translation issues in this scene. Sun’s altered catchphrase comes back to bite the show’s butt when Nagasumi tells Yoshio what it is that makes a real man - in Japanese, it’s ninkyo, aka chivalry, which is displayed on screen as text when he says this. But in the dub, it’s “Honor Among Thieves”. Huh!? So all real men must be thieves? Things get more absurd when Nagasumi gives Yoshio his final beatdown, the text of the Japanese title Seto No Hanayome appears with each punch for some reason, and I guess that reason got lost in translation because we instead get Yoshio screaming “My! Bride is! A! MERMAAAAAAAID!” to get the same effect of a title drop in this moment. There is no reason in context why he would say this, as he had already given up on Sun as a bride and had attempted to kill her, so it just ends up as a huge “WTF!?” moment.

Anyway, Yoshio is defeated and his true form is exposed: a lowly catfish. All of the fear he inspired and thus the power he had is instantaneously gone with this revelation, allowing Akeno’s superior to legally indict him for his crimes. Nagsumi finally apologizes to Sun for the argument and says that from now on he wants their engagement to be something they chose for themselves. And so, taking out the ring he got her in episode 2, he asks Sun if she’ll marry him. Of course Sun says “Yes”, and as the original ED credits song plays, they embrace.

There’s a gag scene before the credits of life returning to normal except for Nagasumi now insisting on remaining in “buff mode” which makes all the routine interactions with the other characters more ridiculous, but after the credits we get a still-frame of Sun and Nagasumi’s earlier embrace, so for all intents and purposes that’s the note this show ends on: two kids from two different worlds who, against all the many, many obstacles, found true love together.

There’s one more post about the series to go, but my experience of actually rewatching the show is over with. And let me tell you - it’s been a great revisiting that I do not at all regret.

#My Bride is a Mermaid #Opinion #Analysis

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shadowsong26fic · 4 years

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Fanfic ask: 1, 5, 11, 14 for Precipice and any other fic you feel like sharing for, 18, 27, 33, 34, 38, 41, 44, 49 (sorry for asking so many, I just really like these questions!)

Hoo boy! This’ll be fun :D

::cracks knuckles::

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?

Ten or eleven, when I first figured out it was a Thing. (Somewhere, buried in my boxes of Old Papers, there is baby!shadowsong’s attempt at writing something involving Padme turning up at Yavin but with the serial numbers very badly filed off, before I learned it was possible to just...write fanfic, lol.

5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?

Oh, Lord, why must you do this to me. XD

I mean, I like all of them for different reasons? Writing Precipice is almost like coming home, I’ve been living in that AU for so long; The Devoted was delightfully self-indulgent and a fun exercise in worldbuilding and I do plan to put more in that AU at some point, I swear; These Three Remain also had some super self-indulgent bits and some sweet cuddly fluffy bits and yep; Distaff is so much fun to work with Anakin’s characterization and her (in said fic) relationship with Padme; I have some WIPs that I’m super excited to get out...even going back to old fandoms, HoTM and Cartography!Verse and The Promises of Angels and Serenissima (ish; we were posting it as a series of vignettes rather than one long novel) and For Sorrow Sung and all my AtLA fic, and...

...yeah, I’m bad at picking favorites XD

11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Not really? I’ve added extra notes and when I was a baby in the LOTR fandom I actually took a fic down because I got pounced on by a Canon Purist, but I...don’t usually change what I do have planned out in response to criticism? Sometimes I add in some filler/explanation, or comments inspire me to add thing, but...

I don’t plan things out in a whole lot of detail, but I do usually have a few Major Plot Points worked out, and I tend not to change them because criticism. I usually don’t go back and edit, either.

14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories.

I think I actually talked about this in detail last time I did a similar meme to this...aha, here we go: https://shadowsong26fic.tumblr.com/post/186756818127/a-and-i-for-fic-ask

18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Yep, a few. Mostly, I abandon WIPs because I drifted away or otherwise left the fandom (i.e., most of my SPN fic), or otherwise got stuck on a plot point (For Sorrow Sung, which I might rewrite, I got stuck on because I wasn’t sure how to write Roslin; Distaff has stalled because I have to do a Monster chapter next because I did some things out of order; etc., though I actually do intend to get back to Distaff at some point, and am considering rewriting For Sorrow Sung or getting back to some of my other BSG fic...). ...on that note, there are several Stalled WIPs that I don’t consider abandoned, I just get sidetracked by other things even if I intend to get back to them At Some Point (Auxiliaries, Masks, a few others.)

Also, a bunch of miscellaneous self-indulgent things that I never really intended to share outside a small circle of friends that I wander away from when my attention gets caught by a similar shiny self-indulgent thing I don’t really intend to share outside a small circle of friends...

27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

Moooostly go with the flow. Then again, I don’t formally outline most things, but I generally have an Idea of the Main Plot Points I’m working towards? But those are usually Super Major Things (i.e., with Precipice, when I was going into it, I had most of Arc 1 planned out ahead of time; I knew when and how Lavinia was going to be introduced; I knew most of how Rex got brought in and at least when Ahsoka came in; I knew Ahsoka was going to be Leia’s primary teacher; I knew when and how Specter was going to die; I knew that the reunion (and the attempt to kidnap Lavinia) were going to happen (though actually I was originally planning for Saw to be behind said kidnapping before realizing that didn’t make sense); I knew when Infernalis was going to be introduced and then die; and then some Spoilery Stuff for the next several arcs :)

So, yeah. I usually have a general notion of where things are going (...most of the time; I mentioned Distaff above, and I’m waffling on how I want things to end for that one...) but a loooooot of white space and things are in flux along the way.

33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Honestly, probably the one I kept in my inbox to reread the most often was on The Promises of Angels--I got a very long comment about the things I’d done with both the focal character and other side characters and the way I’d handled the established lore (and places where canon had fallen short, re: ex-vessels and so on), and then saying they were going to rec it to other people. I’ve gotten other very nice comments since then, (Precipice gets a lot of comments, some of which are lovely, some of which are infuriating), but I think the reason that one sticks with me is because I worked on that fic for so long, and it was a 100k gen epic about a tertiary character who (at the time) had been dead for five seasons. So, a very niche-appeal fic, especially in a fandom that tends to be very shipping-focused, so the fact that it had that much appeal outside of my own brain meant a lot.

(Also, just...the fact that so many people have read and liked Precipice means a whole lot to me????? Was not expecting that for a long wandering genfic epic, lol. ...again, because the fandom I was most active in prior to that is very ship-focused; Star Wars tends to be more gen-friendly, at least that’s been my experience thus far.)

34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

Maybe not the harshest overall I’ve ever gotten, but I mentioned earlier that I took down one LOTR fic because a Canon Purist complained about it to me--I mean, it might not have actually been that mean if I were to get it now that I have a thicker skin, but I was Little Shadowsong at that point and it hurt enough for me to take the fic down, and it does kind of linger in the back of my mind as my Worst Comment Experience.

38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.

...to be honest, I don’t do a lot of collaborations overall, and most of the ones I do tend to be with people I’ve been friends with/RP’d with for a Long Time.

That being said, I’m possibly open to trying? Right now I have a lot on my plate, both fic and IRL wise, over the next couple months, but if anyone’s interested, hit me up and we’ll see if we can work together!

41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written?

In Star Wars? Probably Bo-Katan. I really do wanna finish/start posting our faces like a mirror before the Mandalore Arc actually airs (not that I care about jossing so much, but it’d be nice to Officially lock my canon there so I can point to it if anyone does the whole ‘but canon says!’ thing at me, lol). Also, I love writing Beru, at least the way I write her in Precipice.

If we expand to other fandoms...Nick in SPN, at least before canon brought him back wrong; for BSG...well, most of the ‘minor’ characters I like are really secondary and/or Major in one arc or two--i.e., D’Anna, Gaeta, Ellen Tigh is a lot of fun; in AtLA, I personally mostly wrote major characters and OCs (though some of those were...people who had definitely Existed, but were not named or explored in canon--i.e., Lu Ten’s mother), but my primary RP/writing partner and I worked a lot with Haru and Song and Teo and the Dai Li, among others...but said partner mostly handled them.

44) What is the last line you wrote?

((With an additional line for context; also this is subject to change.))

“True,” Sabe said. “...are you sure you’re ready for this?”

“No,” Padme admitted, after a moment’s thought. “But I think if I wait much longer, I’ll...I’ll either start climbing the walls until I run out and do something righteous and half-planned and stupid, or I’ll...or I’ll never be able to figure how to start, and I’ll just...”

49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

I cannot, sadly. But it would’ve been 15-20 years ago, and probably either Star Wars or Harry Potter. Maybe Dragonlance or DBZ or Sailor Moon.

Ask me a fanfic writer question!

#asked #answered #dedicatedfollower467

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arofili · 6 years

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Aro Kel Masterpost

ETA: I wrote a fic about aro!Kel/Dom, read that if you want ;)

After Tamora Pierce revealed that Kel is aro, I was elated. To finally have representation of any kind, especially from an author and a character I really love, felt so good. Now, it’s not really good representation - I would have preferred to have it explicit and there from the beginning, but this is still incredible for me. So, naturally, this new information spurred me to reread the Protector of the Small series with Kel’s aromanticism in mind, and I unearthed a whole lot of interesting things.

A lot of this was fairly obvious, but much of it was subtext, and there’s still a lot of parts of Kel’s love life that required a bit of effort to see as part of her arospec experience, but I would say that she reads as pretty darn aromantic to me now. In this post, I’ve compiled a bunch of quotes/scenes (mostly paraphrased, sorry) and thoughts about Kel’s aromanticism and how it was portrayed in the books.

This post has been more than a year in the making, mostly because I’m lazy as fuck, but I finally managed to finish it up for @aggressivelyarospec week 2018! Also, the wonderful podcast @tortallrecall is coming up on Kel’s arc soon, and I hope they’ll discuss Kel’s aromanticism, so I wanted to provide an aro person’s opinion on Kel being aro for them to have as a resource if they want to use it :)

Overall: I don't think Tamora Pierce wrote the series meaning for Kel to be aro, because I doubt she would have included the “romance” with Neal, Cleon, or Dom, though that is still justifiable with her being aro [see my explanations below], but I think that she did write it with her being less interested in romance than her peers and Pierce’s other heroines and I think she very intentionally gave Kel a happy ending without romance. And so looking back, the aro label fits. She is definitely arospec, and I am delighted to read about an aromantic character.

First Test

There’s a part where Neal is being all dramatic and talking about the glory of knighthood, but Kel says something along the lines of “Well, sure, but being sung about will take a lot of hard work”. Neal responds, “You aren’t a bit romantic, are you?” and I know that it’s a different kind of “romantic” in this context but also PUNS!

“she'd had experiences with crushes—none her own, of course”

I know Kel is 10 at this point, but also, that is exactly what I was thinking at age 10.

Whenever Cleon fake flirts with her, she's so exasperated and amused. At one part he says he'll pine for her until she returns and she thinks “He'll pine and I'm a holly bush”.

And she's always so sympathetic about Roald's arranged marriage. And sure, anyone could be because they’re not ~in love~ but Kel just seems really sympathetic about marriage in general.

Neal has a crush on Daine in this book, which I had forgotten about, and Kel is so exasperated every time he talks about it. She consoles him, but she's so confused and amused by his feelings.

Page

So here we get to the part where 11-year-old Kel thinks she likes Neal. It’s funny, because it happens at the same time when Neal has a crush on Uline of Hannalof, so I think there’s definitely an argument for her reacting of jealousy. She definitely has some feelings for him, but I don’t think they’re quite romantic, and she doesn’t understand them. At least, that’s how I’m choosing to read it.

And she keeps making fun of him about his feelings, and the part where she and her friends all get together to sing him a sappy love song is really funny.

Also, she keeps complaining to Lalasa that he won’t actually do anything about his feelings. Even when she thinks she has a crush on him, she’s annoyed by romance.

@buffintruda and I were talking about this, and I wondered how we hadn’t thought of Kel being aro before the announcement, and they said something I think is very true:

Too be fair, for me at least, the last time I read her books was before I knew I was aro, and her relationships and crushes deterred me from considering it, even though now that you point them out, they're pretty weak and aro-y

At some point in the story, Cleon’s fake flirting becomes real, but Kel doesn’t realize it. She still thinks he’s joking up until halfway through Squire. Even when he’s being really obvious and blushing and commenting on her appearance, she’s just confused as to why he keeps doing this and doesn’t even consider the idea that he could be sincere.

Honestly this is such a GEM of a quote. Like, same:

“I can flirt just as well as my gelding can dance”

When Kel is talking to Joren about how he’s “changed”, and he tells her that she should get married and her immediate response is “I don’t want to be married”. She does think of Neal, but it’s an afterthought. When I used to force myself to pretend to like someone, before I knew I was aro, I would do the same sort of thing - “I don’t want to marry anyone, ew! Wait, no, I would totally marry [insert fake crush here]...” It’s something she feels like she’s supposed to think, not something she actually feels.

Honestly, Kel’s whole crush on Neal is not really a big deal, even to her. She’ll pine over him when a situation comes up that makes her think about romance, and she’ll occasionally have that “heart flutter” thing, but it’s mostly them being great friends and she seems to forget she’s supposed to have a crush on him while she’s hanging out with him. This seems a lot more like a squish than a crush, at least to me.

So this isn’t technically related to Kel’s aromanticism, but I couldn’t leave it out. Before their third examinations, Kel and Neal talk about their friends and Neal says something like “I wouldn’t trade your friendship for anything”. Ahhh I was so emotional when I read that!! Their friendship is so good and heartwarming and beautiful that I wanted to cry!

Kel made a joke out of it, but it was really sweet and that moment was truly beautiful and relateable. It’s great to see strong friendships shown in books, even if one of the people thinks that they’re in love with the other one.

And in this scene, Kel didn’t think about her “crush” even once, even though it was a pretty intense moment for both of them.

Squire

When Kel finds out that Alanna wants Neal for her squire, she has this silly line about “I can’t not be his friend even if I can’t be his love” and Kel, please. That is far too melodramatic for you! This is so out of character it feels forced, which, if we view it through an aromantic lens, it probably is.

Aw yeah, Raoul is back! I love him. Another aro icon! @buffintruda and I couldn’t believe that we could imagine him as arospec, but totally overlook Kel!

When Kel joins the Own, she meets Dom! She’s wondering why Dom makes her feel all weird and “romantic” moreso than she ever felt for Neal, and I’m like... It’s because you’re making this all up! It’s amatonormativity and heteronormativity! Once you’re not around Neal, you forget you’re supposed to like him, so you find someone else to project your confusion and insecurity onto! You’re not “fickle”, you’re just a confused aromantic.

Kel wonders why “Lalasa never mentioned this”, and that’s pretty obvious. Lalasa is canonically in a relationship with her friend Tian...this girl is a lesbian.

“Who falls in and out of love in a summer?”

Probably someone who was never in love in the first place, Kel. This quote comes the next time that Kel sees Neal, and she realizes her romantic feelings are gone like they never were there in the first place.

“Were her feelings even real?”

Ding ding! Now you’re starting to get it!

Cleon is ridiculously awkward around Kel, and she is just as ridiculously oblivious of his feelings and exasperated by his flirting. (Relatable.) When he kisses her for the first time, she’s so shocked that she doesn’t know how to react which is a mood.

“They won’t be able to talk sense for weeks!”

When Yuki comes to Tortall, Kel makes fun of all the pages and squires for “falling in love” with her. She thinks “her messmates were romantic” in a way that totally excludes herself from that line of thought, because obviously she’s not romantic! That would be ridiculous!

“She hadn’t seen Cleon privately since that astonishing kiss. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to see him or never to see him again. She didn’t know which would be worse, finding that he’d done it on a dare or that he’d done it because he wanted to. Either meant a rat’s nest of problems.”

She liked the kiss, so we know she likes kissing, but that does not mean she isn’t aro. She doesn’t really want to like Cleon romantically. Unlike with Neal and Dom, she isn’t tricking herself into feeling something for Cleon; his feelings surprised her. “A rat’s nest of problems” is true not only politically, but also very much personally.

Tamora Pierce has also called Kel asexual at different times; this post is about her being aro, but there was one little ace thing I wanted to mention. When Kel meets George Cooper, she cannot figure out why Alanna is attracted to him; she only finds his eyes attractive. Kel is struggling to find anything attractive about him, and when has she ever before focused on the physical side of things when she’s forcing herself into liking someone? It isn’t something she even considers.

“Nice eyes hardly seemed to Kel like grounds for marriage.”

Yeah, well, for you it would be hard to find anything that would be grounds for marriage!

When Kel and Cleon (finally) talk about their first kiss, Cleon is trying to convince her that they should be in a relationship and Kel says something along the lines of “If people knew, they might not know it was friendly” and that’s literally the most aromantic thing I’ve ever heard. She is literally incapable of forming a reason why she would kiss someone outside of being friends. She likes kissing but doesn’t have romantic feelings.

In the same scene, she wants so badly to be interrupted by someone so she doesn’t have to deal with Cleon’s romantic advances. In the end they do get together, and some of this conversation was in jest, but Kel is truly terrified of romance and uncomfortable with her situation no matter how much she is genuinely fond of Cleon.

During the Progress, she talks to her mom about sex and Cleon. Her mom says, “you can choose if you want to have sex”, and Kel’s immediate response is “I don’t want to choose that!” Her reasoning is “I don’t want to be distracted”, “I just want my shield”, “I certainly don’t want babies” and if that ain’t the most aroace thing then I don’t know what is.

Shortly after this scene, Kel talks to Cleon, which goes something like this...

Cleon: Come down and let me hold you! Kel: No, you come up, and no holding.

Kel is terrified of sex but simultaneously struggling with her self-worth and wanting to be fuckable.

Once Kel and Cleon are officially together, their relationship is pretty romantic, which explains why I didn’t consider she could be aro at first. But even then, I see it as more that she enjoys Cleon’s company and the physical side of their relationship even though they never actually have sex. And the whole time, Cleon is so much more scared than Kel of the inevitable end of their relationship. Kel is much more practical and sees their relationship as doomed from the beginning.

Not related, but I love how Raoul and Buri’s relationship develops. They’re basically mutual beards and best friends. Buri’s such a lesbian, and Raoul is so aro!

When Kel first suggests that Raoul should ask Buri to go to his party with his aunt, she says that Buri “won’t get any romantic notions” which 1) shows how gay Buri is and 2) shows how Kel’s thought process about romance works.

This speaks for itself:

“She had decided years before that she was no prize on the romance market.”

There’s this lovely conversation while the Own is helping some town...

Kel: Why don’t people talk about hard work when it comes to war? All I hear about is glory. Dom: Pretty girls want to hear about glory, not work.

Kel wasn’t thinking about romance as a factor; she didn’t even consider it. While the Own is at Giantkiller, Kel completely forgets about her crush on Dom and it’s pretty much never brought up again.

Another gem of a quote:

“Kel thought asking her for wedding ideas was like asking a cat how to raise a horse, but she did her best.”

Kel and Cleon’s forbidden words are “love” and “marriage” and oh my god that is the most aro thing ever.

Lady Knight

There is so much less romance in this book! That’s great it in general, but it also really establishes Kel as aromantic because this is the book in which she becomes more sure of herself. She thinks about romance much less, which means there’s less things to specify how her reaction to romance proves her aro. I think it was at this point that Tamora Pierce decided that Kel wasn’t going to end up with a romantic partner at the end of her series.

On the way to the Scanran border, Neal and Roald are complaining about being separated from their fiancees, and Kel is so exasperated with them. She feels sorrier for Roald, but she approaches the whole subject with way too critical an eye to be alloromantic.

“She wanted love and children, too—someday.”

She thinks about Cleon, but it’s so distant. She’s imagining that she’ll feel different in the future, because that’s what’s supposed to happen to people, right? But she doesn’t really want love and children.

Kel’s thought of “romance was more pleasant than reality” proves that she doesn’t believe that finding romance is realistic. And as we know, Kel is practical above all.

“Friendship was there, but passion was gone.”

When Kel sees Cleon again after a few years of separation, everything she thought she had felt for him has disappeared. And multiple times she feels bad about not loving him anymore; that’s textbook aro guilt. She emphasizes that “she could still be his friend even if she couldn’t be his lover.” She isn’t at all surprised that she doesn’t love Cleon anymore. She expected this, and she’s relieved that she was right.

“She wanted no lovers until she had settled the Nothing Man’s account.”

Kel will look for any excuse to not have to deal with romance, and everything that justifies her lack of love will do.

“Beyond kisses, Cleon was her friend.”

This proves that she always saw Cleon mostly as a friend, just a friend she also liked to kiss. To aro people things like that aren’t always cut and dry; she likes to kiss but to her kissing is not a romantic action.

She’s relieved that Cleon isn’t trying to keep things going, because it would hurt too much for both of them and because she didn’t want to have to keep faking romantic love. She’s upset about the end of their relationship because change is hard, not because she wants Cleon. She understands that now and talks to Tobe about it. I’m so proud of her!! She’s coming to terms with herself.

At Haven, Kel sees Dom again and remembers that she had a crush on him, but it’s a minor afterthought after a paragraph of her considering their friendship. When he leaves, she misses his friendship and support and doesn’t even think about romance.

And finally, the second to last paragraph in the whole series all but makes aro Kel explicit representation:

“Lovers, Kel thought, rolling her eyes. At least there was one headache she didn’t have. She was about to tell her friend [Neal] he could wait when she remembered that she’d get to see Dom at Steadfast. It would be nice to able to sit and chat for a while without kidnapping, flight, and war to distract them.”

Sure, that could (and has been) interpreted as Kel’s crush on Dom continuing to manifest, but to me it shows her value of friendship, especially as it immediately follows her declaration that lovers are a headache.

In conclusion, my point at the beginning still stands: this is not necessarily good representation. Kel’s story was written without authorial consideration of her aromanticism. But it is representation. And to me, a queer who grew up reading Kel and identifying more with her than with any of Tamora Pierce’s other heroines, even post-canonical, Word of God revelations of Kel being aro matters a lot. This is especially relevant because of the void that is aro rep—I can only name one or two canon aromantic characters from popular media, and Kel is one of them.

An aromantic lens is required to see Kel’s aromanticism, but it is there. It means something. And even though this post has been like two years in the making, Kel still means a lot to me.

#aggressivelyarospecweek #aaw #tortallrecall #keladry of mindelan #aromantic #my meta #tefain nin #tortall #i wanted to write some fic for this week but i.....didnt rip

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wigwurq · 6 years

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WIG REVIEW: MAMMA MIA - HERE WE GO AGAIN

Sometimes, there is a movie that so boldly defies the constructs of logic, time, plot, society, reality or gravity that we have to collectively decide if we can accept it as it is or let our eyeballs roll into the Mediterranean. And then sometimes that movie has a sequel. This is that sequel. This is 2018. Our lives are a garbage fire and this movie is a chardonnay soaked poncho blowing in the fake Greek breeze. I suggest we soak it up because it might be all we have left that might bring us joy. EVEN THE WIGS. Let’s discuss.

We begin 10 years after the last movie (or maybe just 5? Or maybe sometime in the early aughts for the flashback timeline to work or maybe just who cares?) and we are dealt a terrifying blow that no movie should ever start with: MERYL STREEP IS DEAD. WHAT. NO. WHY THOUGH. Like everything in this movie, it is not explained why or how this happened. It is just something we must sadly accept and move on to learning more about her former self as played by Lily James because just go with it.

Back in England (?) of 1979 (??? again, do NOT do the math), Meryl Streep aka Lily James aka Donna has just graduated from college with her two best gal pals (aka the Dynamos) and has used it as a forum for singing b-side ABBA songs. Most of the a-side ABBA songs were used in the last movie so just take what you can get.

Lily James is fine and doesn’t wear a wig and is perpetually tan and being called brave and has a nice singing voice and falls in water a lot. She is certainly no Meryl Streep but we must all count our lucky stars that Young Donna was not played by Anne Hathaway or (SHUDDER) Taylor Swift. THINK ABOUT THAT. Her two gal pals (aka young Tanya aka Christine Baranski and young Rosie aka Julie Walters) do have wigs and they are actually ok! The pixie cut on Rosie is a little upsetting but it’ll do in a pinch and this Tanya bob is 1000x better than anything Evangelline Lilly wore in Ant-Man.

The most troubling part of these flashbacks with Tanya and Rosie is that we are led to believe that their fabulous girl band, DONNA AND THE DYNAMOS are not actually as fabulous or world-renowned as the first movie (or stage play) would have had us believe. I guess they just performed maybe in college and had some great bellbottom costumes and ultimately just performed once for a few Greek people at some rando restaurant? Huh? Still, great bellbottoms.

We also meet the young versions of all of Amanda Seyfried’s would-be dads! First up is Young Sam (aka Colin Firth) in this busted ass wig. Man wigs are always bad and this one is...not great. This is the best wig of the trio and he’s the best singer of the dads, though, and gets the one non-b-side: WATERLOO! As performed by a French waitstaff in Napoleon costumes because OF COURSE.

Back to that hair: please someone make better man wigs.

We then meet Young Bill (aka Stellan Skarsgard). He is absolutely the most handsome of the dads but is wig is: WOOF.

Even covered up in a sailor hat: I see you, wig.

We then meet Young Sam (aka Pierce Brosnan) - Donna’s ain’ true love who she ends up with before dying for some reason. Sadly, Young Sam is the least attractive and has the worst wig of all the dads.

LOOK AT THIS SCRAGGLY ASS THING. When he ultimately breaks Donna’s heart I wasn’t even sad (also because we know they get back together) because GOODBYE BAD WIG.

Back in present day (????) all the dads are looking good and wigless and having the goddamned time of their lives dancing on boats and wearing whatever the hell quilted shirts because WHO EVEN CARES YOU DO YOU. There are many many more b-side ABBA songs to be sung!

A friend of mine described the musical sequences as feeling like karaoke videos which vaguely have a plot but really make no sense. This is exactly right and the whole movie basically is a long strung together collection of karaoke videos which as a whole add up to less than nothing plot-wise but truly everything fun-wise.

Speaking of fun: Christine Baranski and Julie Walters.These two ladies are having the wine-soaked Mediterranean girls trip of our goddamned dreams. Julie is wig-less and Christine’s wig is as perfect as her high kicks. The quality of this wig - the texture and perfect imperfections - rival perhaps only Julianna Margulies as far as wigs you could wear every day to work and fool all of America’s moms in the process. And for that, this movie clearly has the correct priorities. May we all be blessed with Christine Baranski’s wig budget someday in our lives.

WAIT I TAKE IT BACK. MAY WE ALL BE BLESSED WITH CHER’S WIG BUDGET. So yes - EFFING CHER is in the movie. Yes, she is 3 years older than her “daughter,” Meryl Streep but as I said: DO NOT DO MATH IN RELATION TO THIS MOVIE.

So here’s the thing: if we view this as hair that Cher is passing off as real hair, then....this wig is a no for me. But who are we kidding? Cher hasn’t showed up without a wig in almost as long as our Lady of Perpetual Wigs, Dolly Parton so of COURSE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THIS IS A WIG IN THE CONTEXT OF THE MOVIE. So on that level, this wig is basically RuPaul quality which is to say: PERFECT.

Also Cher wears 2 WIGS (and this second one is truly blessed by Mama Ru) so: yes, we should definitely believe these are just great wigs. And like everything in this movie: JUST GO WITH IT HAVE FUN. This movie is a fever dream of nonsense but OH MY GOD do I want to just live in it.

I truly believe that the only antidote for the garbage fire of 2018 is Cher walking down some stairs in a silver tinsel bolero singing “Fernando” to Andy Garcia wearing a neckerchief while fireworks go off in the background and 200 gay men applaud (I saw this in Chelsea). If this scene cannot cure what ails you, then we are all just doomed.

Oh and Meryl DOES show up in the end to sing us all into a sobfest and why did they have to kill her off again? SOBBING.

In the end, my verdict was a tough call because all 3 young dad wigs are so godawful but both young and old Christine Baranski wigs are wonderful and: EFFING CHER. Since there is no math in this movie, and just because, I’ve gotta go with Cher.

VERDICT: WURQS

#wigwurq #mammamia #mammamiaherewegoagain #mammamia2 #cher #merylstreep #wigbudgets #christinebaranski #juliewalters #badmanwigs

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allyredlover · 5 years

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Letter to Taylor Swift

I’m sure she’s probably not even going to read this, but here’s trying. Hi Taylor! I’m Ally. I’m 14 years old, and I’ll be fifteen in June. I just want you to know how much you and your music has impacted me~

When I first heard your music, I was probably about 4 years old. It was sometime in early 2009, and it was nap-time at my preschool. I wasn’t allowed to sleep during nap time by special orders from my mom because if I took a nap, I wouldn’t be able to sleep later that night. So, I had a special little station near the windows where they set up a radio and put the volume on low, so it was only me who could hear. It was on G 105.1, and I heard the song ‘Love Story’ for the first time. I fell in love with it. When I went home, I told my mom that I had listened to a song at nap time by Juliet that was called ‘Love Story’. My mom tried to explain to me that it was Taylor Swift who sung the song, and she was singing about Romeo and Juliet, by Shakespeare. I didn’t quite get it, but my mom showed me all of your other songs and I was absolutely infatuated with your music. It made me feel like a fairytale princess, waiting on my Prince Charming, and as a four year old Disney lover, it was right up my alley (ally-alley? Get it?).

Then a little bit later, in October 2010, Speak Now was released. I absolutely loved it, and I listened to the songs so many times that my Dad and little sister, who was 3, knew all the lyrics. My parents surprised me with tickets to the show, in November of 2011. We live near Raleigh, just for some context. I was something like 7 at that time, and I sung all the words to all the songs, and sometime in the middle, I got so exhausted I fell asleep. I remember waking up hearing you sing ‘Love Story’, as my mom was holding me and talking to this really nice security guard in the main entrance. I was kind of upset that I had fallen asleep, but the part I saw, I absolutely loved.

Fast forward to when Red was released. I think I liked the album even more than the previous ones, and listened to it even more, if that’s possible. I remember my Dad dancing with me in our living room to the song ‘Red’ that was on TV via Pandora. Again, my parents took me to see your concert tour, and I was absolutely psyched. I borrowed my Dad’s fedora, and wore my Speak Now t-shirt that was finally starting to fit. I remember the absolutely massive crowd, and three people holding light up signs that each had a letter that read ‘RED’. Ed Sheehan came out, and the girl with the R took down her sign so it read ‘ED’. I remember you coming on and singing your songs. This time, I made sure I didn’t fall asleep. I sung every song with you, and was so proud of myself for knowing all the lyrics.

1989 came around, and I got the album on the first day. I remember how my friends and I (I was in 5th grade at that point) choreographed all the songs during recess and sang them at the top of our lungs. Unfortunately, my parents didn’t buy tickets for that concert, saying it was too expensive at ~$90 a seat (wait until I started begging them for Hamilton tickets a couple years later-$90 is nothing). I was absolutely totally bummed, but I decided that I would listen to the songs even more to make up for the lack of a concert.

I remember the whole Kim Kardashian thing, and I was completely on your side the whole time. I remember F R E A K I N G O U T when you wiped your Instagram, and even more so when the snake came. Reputation got released and I bought the album and listened to it religiously. I had my first boyfriend at the time, and I was going through a really rough patch during my life, especially after we broke up, and I suffered really really bad from anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and suicidal thoughts. Your songs were my life line. They made me feel like I wasn’t crazy for feeling the ways I did, and the lighter songs on the album made me feel happier, and gave me a lifeline. You didn’t come to Raleigh for your tour, and my parents wouldn’t let me go to see it in D.C. or Atlanta. I was pretty upset, but when the tour special came out on Netflix, I didn’t watch anything else for a whole week.

Now TS7 is coming. Me and my best friend are FREAKING OUT, and we are absolutely certain that we will see it together, no matter how far we have to travel (please not too far Taylor, we’re teens and don’t have too too much money). I’ve always wanted to meet you, and I’ve looked on in envy at those who get to go to the secret sessions. It would make my year if I got to go to one, and I would travel wherever for that chance. I want you to know just how much your music means to me, and how much it has helped me. It’s matched my phases and moods throughout my whole life, and it gave me a lifeline when I needed one the most, and I cannot thank you enough for that. Taylor, you probably won’t get to read this, but I pray that you will. I know I may not be your most social-media active fan, but I love you and your music with all of my heart and soul. I still wear my t-shirts from both tours (which I still fit because god knows I don’t grow), and I hope that someday I can help as many people and touch as many lives as you have. I might not want to be a musician, but epidemiology is really calling for me. I’ve always wanted to help people, like you do.

Thank you for everything 💗🦋

#taylor swift #taylurking #taylornation #taylorlurking #taytay #dealing with anxiety #music #i love her so much #you have no idea #please read this #taylor #swift #swifties

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grimelords · 6 years

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I finally finished writing up my February playlist for your enjoyment but mostly mine. It’s 48 songs ranging from italian screamo to Celine Dion and you have my personal guarantee you will enjoy at least one of them.

Halftime - Young Thug: There's two parts in this song that are maybe my top two Young Thug moments ever. 1) when he says "I got water I look like I'm fresh from Hawaii" and then makes a noise like a dog shaking himself off 2) the world's longest tyres screeching sound, at about :47, it goes for fully 12 seconds and is absolutely perfect.

Hydrogen - M|O|O|N: Hotline Miami is a good ass game and this song is great but I've got to admit that I only really know it because someone edited a video to make a dog bark the melody line and I think that's very good.

Vale - Bicep: The way the fuzzed out bass rhythm contrasts against how crystal clear and plastic futuristic everything else in this song is is just great. This song reminds me that I should probably listen to Kelala because I've only heard her in features so far and they've all been great.

Sittin' On The Edge Of The Bed Cryin' - The Drones: This is a sort of atypical Drones song because it's not about about a particular thing, it's just about a bad feeling and not being able to see your future because of everything lurking ahead of you. I think that's why I like it so much, because it's just sort of a song about saying 'I feel bad!!' and not having to give a reason.

Golden Dawn - Gospel: I really do think that The Moon Is A Dead world is an all time great album and that it rarely gets talked about anywhere is one of the greatest crimes of underappreciation in music. It's understandable, because it takes a lot for an uncool genre like screamo to get mainstream critical attention the way something like As The Roots Undo did, and mixing that kind of aggression with extremely uncool lengthy 70s prog keyboard solos... look, I get it. But somehow there's nothing uncool about any of this music; it's just deeply felt, radically composed and authentically performed. It's absolutely one of my favourite albums of all time and this is the centrepiece. I was taken with a fantasy this month of doing something very cool and transcribing the drum part of this song just to see it laid out in front of me because it is really a masterpiece. Also there is something very special about imbuing a lyric like 'hey you, you got a cigarette man? you know I know you got one on ya.' with so much gravity that you can't help but yell along.

I Know There's Gonna Be (Good Times) (feat. Popcaan & Young Thug) - Jamie xx: Young Thug says he's gonna ride in that pussy like a stroller in this song and that’s when I knew I was in love.

Crow Jane - Skip James: Yet another good song in the pantheon of songs about shooting your wife for being too proud and then immediately regretting it because now you have no wife.

Le Merle Noir - Olivier Messiaen: I think it's really funny that in the classical music canon there is about one hundred freaks who got singularly obsessed with putting their best approximation of bird song in their music. Birds don't even sound that good but in the old days its the closest you had to a markov chain I suppose. Anyway this is a really nice piece that my girlfriend did as one of her flute performances in her music degree and I like it a lot.

Obsession - Animotion: I started watching Comrade Detective this month and the soundtrack is all sorts of very good 80s synthpop. This song especially stood out because in the show it was being performed with accordions in an illegal Romanian casino, but this version is good too.

Back To The Trees - Adele H: Nothing worse than being a musician named Adele and having to go by Adele H because Adele is well and truly taken. I found this album on a random blogspot and it truly felt like 2011 again. This song is like a primitivist hymn sung with a loop pedal, and if you're in the right state of mind it's very moving.

Aries - Lynx: I was doing some googling and ended up finding the band that Dave Konopka from Battles used to be in. This band is good because they're called Lynx and they have a song called Mrs Lynx, and I think it's both prudent and wise to write a wife for your band. This song however, is called Aries. I was hooked from the start-stop drums right at the start, but this is some of my favourite type of math rock. Clean, clear, concise and purposeful and never losing sight of the structure of the song as a whole.

Westham United (live) - Tera Melos: This is the best version of Westham United I've ever heard, and you can hear the lyrics a lot better here than the album version. Tera Melos live are so unbelievably tight it's insane, This is ferocious, god bless Audiotree.

You Let My Tyres Down - Tropical Fuck Storm: Tropical Fuck Storm is Gareth and Fiona from The Drones' new side-project and it sort of just sounds like the Drones with more female harmonies in the background which is good as hell. I love the weird little guitar frills in this where it's mostly pretty chordy and then he does these little hammery runs now and then that really liven the place up.

Fool - Mia Dyson: I have a big thing about Mia Dyson because she made three incredibly good albums and then left Australia to try to make it in America and unfortunately failed, and ever since then all her music has felt like she's aiming toward some kind of crossover appeal instead of just doing what she really wants. But luckily it's finally paying off because this new song sounds like Haim's first album and it's really good so everyone wins.

Are You Ready For The Country? - Neil Young: This is the song I envision playing over the air raid speakers through the city when it all goes down.

Living Through Another Cuba - XTC: Continuing that theme, Stereogum had a very good playlist of the other day called 80s Nuclear Anxiety and I discovered this incredible song in it. This song is good in headphones because someone's doing some very restrained zither playing every 4 bars and once you notice it it's impossible to stop hearing it.

Release - Christoph De Babalon: I found out about this extremely bleak album from the really good reissue review pitchfork had the other day, and this is probably my favourite song on it because I'm basic and it's the most straightforward dnb on here. This album reminds me of Zomby a lot, not only in the music but in the approach where the structures seem to simultaneous reflect someone putting a lot of care into their music and not giving a fuck about it. The individual sounds are so meticulous but the structures of all the songs here are very meandering and feel like they could end at any time or go another ten minutes and you wouldn't notice.

Preachin' Blues - Son House: The idea of joining the preisthood as a way to get out of having to get a real job is a timeless idea that appeals to the teens of today more than ever.

1 di 6 - Raein: What I love about the internet is the way you can just type words in and it will manifest whatever you wish, like a sort of cursed wishing well. In this instance the words I typed were 'italian screamo' and the gift it bestowed was this incredible one-long-song album from Italian screamo band Raein that completely kicked my ass.

A Little Change Could Go A Long Ways - City Of Caterpillar: I've been investigating early 2000s screamo, and in particular Circle Takes The Square's contemporaries and it seems crazy that I've never heard this City Of Caterpillar album until now because at long last it's something that sounds comperable to As The Roots Undo. The extremely brooding, crescendocore post-rock intro that dominates more than half of this 10 minute song gives way to a complete storm. I am absolutely desperate for a screamo revival but it seems like nobody else is.

Jupiter - Cave In: This song is good but it also sounds like it's from a musical, I think it has to do with the clarity of his lyric delivery. It sounds like the difference between American Idiot and American Idiot: The Original Broadway Cast Recording, but it's also a very good song.

I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho) - Pitbull: I woke up with this song in my head one day which is always a very good song. Also this song has a good sample chain: the beat's sampled from 75 Brasil Street by Nicola Fasano, which samples the horns from The Bomb! (These Sounds Fall Into My Mind) by The Bucketheads which in turn sampled the horns from Street Player by Chicago. How good is music!

Introduce Me To Your Family - Otoboke Beaver: My friend sent me this song because it came up mysteriously in his Discover Weekly and I'm so glad he did. It's good to know that japanese punk has been continuing on and getting more and more insane without me noticing.

Part 5/ The Sun's Gone Dim And The Sky's Gone Grey - Johann Johannsson: RIP to a good man. I was so sad and shocked to hear that Johann Johannsson had died last month. This album is a favourite of mine, and while this song doesn't have the weight it should outside of the context of the rest of the album it is still an incredibly heavy mood and a beautiful piece of music.

Heart - Bertie Blackman: This song feels like the alternate, evil version of Single Ladies by Beyonce to me and I get it stuck in my head all the time.

Acetate - Metz: I'm obsessed with the rhythm of this song, how it just tumbles over itself over and over in this lopsided way and the way that plays against the big straight forward power line of this song: I. WANT. YOU. TO. TAKE. IT. AWAY.

Bodysnatchers - Radiohead: It's funny to think of Johnny Greenwood as a film composer, and especially as the composer of the Phantom Thread when he does songs like this. This song is just straight up Riffs. The most air-guitarable Radiohead song outside of Creep.

Nameless, Faceless - Courtney Barnett: I'm so glad Courtney Barnett is back and her new song is an absolute killer! I can't get enough of it and I cannot wait for the album.

Can't Fight The Moonlight - LeAnn Rimes: This is a song written from the perspective of a vampire, and a banger. The instumentation in this is a perfect distillation of everything good about 90s pop. Especially the bizzare chunky guitar and orchestra stab that starts it off. The big bass sound and orchestra stabs in the chorus? I'm kissing my fingers like a chef right now.

Lava Lamp (Chopnotslop Remix) - Thundercat: It sounds strange but the chopped and screwed version of Drunk is fast becoming my favourite version. Firstly because it's very appropriately named Drank and secondly because the biggest obstacle to me getting heavily into this album was that it was just way too busy sometimes, a flaw that has been perfectly surmounted by chopping but NOT slopping the entire thing.

Someplace - Yamantake // Sonic Titan: I am desperate for more from this band. I absolutely love this mix of airy guitar and vocals suddenly moving into very classic metal. It's very theatrical and I absolutely love it.

Jejune Stars - Bright Eyes: Remember how Bright Eyes last album had extremely heavy Rastafarian But Not Reggae influences for some reason? I loved that. The guy talking about Pomegranates at the end of this song, and especially the way he pronounces pomegranate has become a staple of my inner monologue.

New Coke - Health: God Health are just so powerful. I want them to score a film some day soon, because they did a great job with Max Payne 3 and their sort of singular aesthetic is just so intoxicating. I go through stages of not listening to Health for months and then it's all I want to listen to for hours and hours very loudly.

3AM - Matchbox Twenty: Check this out: Rob Thomas has the exact same voice as Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance

Is That All There Is? - Peggy Lee: I was thinking about Trump's weird brain, which I believe to be a sort of smooth pebble covered in mashed banana, and so I googled his favourite song, and it is this. He says "It’s a great song because I’ve had these tremendous successes and then I’m off to the next one. Because, it’s like, “Oh, is that all there is?” That’s a great song actually, that’s a very interesting song, especially sung by her, because she had such a troubled life.". Listen to this extremely nihilistic song and imagine him swanning around with his weird body and singing along to it please.

New Town - Life Without Buildings: Life Without Buildings reinvented songwriting and nobody even cared. It's unbelievable. This song is an incredible end to their incredible album that feels like it was written just for me. I love Life Without Buildings!

Music For The Long Emergency - Policia & s t a r g a z e: Polica's new album with the stargaze orchestra is unfortunately kind of mixed but luckily the title track is very, very good. It feels like a real textural expansion of everything Polica's been doing before, to have so many more layers to play with really benefits them but the songs are thankfully still rooted in the drums, bass and vocals combo like usual and haven't gotten lost in the possibilities of playing with an orchestra. The synth sound that begins about halfway through this is so thick and so nice and really takes the whole thing in a different direction for the second half.

Carnival Of Sorts (Boxcars) - R.E.M.: I'm really loving R U Talkin R.E.M. Re: Me? and so far and the main difference I've found between it and UTU2TM is that every single R.E.M. song sounds exactly the same. They're very good, but it's one song. So when they go through the album track by track and talk about what the love about each one it almost sounds farcical. They could be playing the same song 12 times in a row and I wouldn't notice. That said, this one differentiates itself by starting with a weird circus organ before beginning The R.E.M. Song so I appreciate it for that.

Give Me A Smile - Sibylle Baier: As I understand it, Sibylle Baier was warned about the existence of music blogspots some time in the early 70s and started living her whole life from then on in the hopes of being the source of a good post. This album was released in 2006 and is made up mostly of reel-to-reel recordings she made at her home in Germany in 1970-73, except for this track which was included on a 1970 compilation called Folk Is A Four Letter Word 2 which I think was the only commercial recording she ever made before quitting music and acting entirely, moving to America and starting a family. 30 years later her son made a cd of the songs to give to family and friends and somehow one made its way to J Mascis of all people and he had it released on his label Orange Twin.

III. Toccare - John Adams: This piece came up in my Release Radar playlist because of the day a couple of years ago when I listened to Nixon In China twice in a row. I don't know anything about it but I love it a lot and am particularly in love with the bass guitar that comes in about a third of the way through and then disappears entirely. What a choice.

Saturdays (feat. Haim) - Twin Shadow: On Twin Shadow's last album he made a swing at Big Chorus all-out commercial pop and it didn't go perfectly so I'm very glad he's back to his old ways because this song is just amazing. Every part of this song is catchy. The chorus is so satisfying because it has about it has about three different sections and it builds beautifully. Haim are here doing great. It's just perfect and I can't wait for the album.

Because I'm Me - The Avalanches: Wildflower didn't get the respect it deserved in my opinion. It quite literally sounds like it could have come out the year after Since I Left You, which is a very good thing! I'm also a huge fan of fading a whole song down right in the middle just to play a sample of someone quietly saying 'hello?' like they're answering a phone.

Bats In The Attic - King Creosote & Jon Hopkins: I've never heard another album that sounds like this one. Every part of the recording just sounds so beautiful it's like it was handmade from silk or something. Listening to this after literally anything else feels like a chilled glass of water on a hot day. King Creosote's voice also has the very beautiful paradoxical qualities of a scottish accent mixed with incredibly clear enunciation and I really love it. I'd love them to do another album together.

Another Man - Barbara Mason: Check out this song. First of all it sounds extremely good. Secondly it's about when your man turns out to be gay. It starts out good but by the last verse it is straight up hateful, calling him defective, not entirely a man and a 'facsimile of a man' which is unbelievably cruel. The way she says it is very good though because she says "Because in my case what I thought I had was not a entire whole man, but a facsimile thereof. Wasn't a clone or nothin', you know, I'm not.." and then she trails off. Glad she clarified this wasn’t a clone situation. Weird, mean, good song.

Monument (T.I.E. Version) - Robyn & Royksopp: The original version of this song is long as hell and a lot more on the ominous side of the ominous/menacing scale, whereas this version pushes the slider all the way up on 'menacing' with the huge distorted bassline leading the whole thing. A perfect song for obelisk worship in the grim electronic future, or even for carving your own obelisk in preparation.

Everybody Knows - Leonard Cohen: Hey remember when Leonard Cohen died and bleedingcool.com had the best headline of all time "Genius Songwriter Of Music From “Watchmen” Sex Scene Dead At 82". I think about that all the time. Anyway this song is great but that's obvious.

E-Mail My Heart - Britney Spears: Britney Spears first album is good cause Hit Me Baby One More Time is about pagers and this song is about emails. Teens love to communicate, and they've only grown to love it more since this song came out. In Britney's own words in 1999: "E-mail My Heart is a song that everyone can relate to, everyone’s been doing e-mails and it’s “e-mail my heart” so everyone can relate to that song.“ True.

It's All Coming Back To Me Now - Celine Dion: This song is deluxe. This song sounds like it was recorded in an expansive marble bathroom and I feel like I should have to be wearing a suit just to listen to it. This song has 15 cup holders and comes with power windows as standard. This song sounds like someone paid November Rain $100 to attend a fancy party with them and pretend to be their boyfriend but then they accidentally fell in love for real.

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themusicjerk · 6 years

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Please listen to "costello music" by the fratellis

Oh, boy, it's finally happening. My blog is finally taking off. Wait until Travis hears about this. He was skeptical, you know. Maybe I'll finally get around to bringing back his copy of Never Mind the Bollocks when I tell him.

So, The Fratellis is a band apparently composed of brothers Jon, Barry, and Mince Fratelli, all of which being regular non-musician names except for Mince, though according to my research, they're not actually brothers and their names aren't actually Fratelli, which means that to this day I do not understand rock star names. The album is apparently an indie rock album, indie being short for independent, and independent referring to the operation of the musicians without a record label, despite the fact that the album was released on Fallout Records, a subsidiary of United Musical Group, and therefore nothing about the album was independent of anything.

In other words, I have no idea what this album will sound like. It cannot be as bad as Trout Mask Replica, though. Let's dive in.

First off, "Henrietta." The guitar is so distorted that the chords are indistinguishable one from another. The drummer sounds so bored that he can't bear to keep a steady beat and flops wildly from one pattern to the next. The Scottish lead singer pronounces all of his vowels like the 'o' in 'hop' and there is some noise that I assume is guitar feedback that sounds like a subliminal tenor saxophone. This is what the Sex Pistols would sound like if they kept better time, but a polished turd is still a turd. Jon, bored of singing words, resorts to strange meows and wakka-wakkas in the bridge of the song. There's potential here, but the band is so uninterested in taking their efforts seriously that I'm inclined to take the lyric that the band is "three miserable [vulgar lyric that which will not be repeated] sitting on the back seat stomping on the off beat" at face value.

"Flathead" is the same thing, riotous, ever distracted from itself, with goofy noises in place of lyrics, and vulgar lyrics when words need to be sung. For God's sake, he's singing about violence in prostitution, and he seems happy about it! Have these boys no shame? In the middle of the song, there's a bit where just the guitar is playing a riff, when Jon seems to forget that they're not in the middle of the chorus because he begins his ba-ba-bas and then stop. He is not fooled again, because the next time the chorus comes in, he is nowhere to be found. The band plays, trying to ignore the conspicuous lack of ba-bas, but the presentation is just clunky.

Someone had the good sense to unplug Jon's guitar for the next song, "Whistle for the Choir," but he insists on singing, insulting women, calling them "silly" and "stupid" and, in the same breath, "irresistible." The drummer seems to have settled down as well, despite this song having the most boring beat imaginable, perhaps the drummer has given up any pipe dreams of playing a more interesting song. Then, Jon begins whistling. Whistling is not a thing that belongs in music. Whistling is a thing you do while you work or wait for the bus, first of course making sure that no one else is around who may be bothered by it. It's vulgar and gross, like everything else The Fratellis do, and I would not be surprised if they begin burping or cracking their knuckles as percussion.

"Chelsea Dagger" hangs out on one chord for too long before jumping up a perfect fourth - a terribly dissonant and boring interval that was clearly misnamed. Jon once again eschews poetry for the fanciful lyrics:

"Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo"

When he does begin to sing actual words, the song is - surprise, surprise - about a stripper. This man should never be let within twenty-five feet of a woman. By the end of the song, they have forgotten their chorus or melody entirely and made up a new one. Someone, Mince I believe, remembers how the song is supposed to go and brings back the doo-doos. Joy.

"The Gutterati?" seems to have been composed on the principle that if you play fast enough, no one will be able to understand you or criticize you. Despite the ludicrous tempo, however, the song is still based on two chords played over and over again, and horrendous microphone feedback bleeds in just before the grating harmonica solo. The good news is that, because the song is fast, it's over soon enough, but not without a second harmonica solo so high-pitched and loud that it will leave me with tinnitus for the rest of my life.

Someone in the band complains, audibly, that Jon's lyrics are terrible. I'm surprised they left that on the album. I agree wholeheartedly.

"For the Girl," contains the lyrical genius of "la la la la la la la la la la la la." The singer makes an attempt to sing along with the guitar, but either the guitar is flat, the singer is sharp, or both, because the result is the ever-pleasant hum of a lawnmower or perhaps a buzzsaw. The end of the song features Jon once again missing a cue and leaving Mince to awkwardly drum and wait for him to come in.

"Doginabag [sic]" is the only evidence we need to prove that their sound is no better or more polished when slowed down (or when spaces are removed). The guitar tone is needlessly aggressive, and the fact that the chords are now played with at least some cadence provides context for the sharp, shrill overtones that now posion the air. The guitar solo is all over the place and noisy. Just when it feels like the song should end, it doesn't. They just play it again, with Jon's voice getting scratchier and more strained as he tries to pronounce the words with the correct vowels.

The guitar drones on for too long at the end of the song, eventually going way out of key. Deciding that slow music is not for them, they return to the fast-paced themes of "The Gutterati?" with all of the distracted 12-melodies-in-one bouncing of "Henrietta" on "Creepin' Up The Backstairs." Where do I begin? This song sounds like they wrote three different songs, realized that each of those songs was twenty seconds long, and then thought if they played the four songs fast enough, nobody would notice. The verse, bridge, and chorus feel disjointed and unrelated one to another. At one point, Jon begins to sing the chorus again despite the fact that all of the instruments have stopped playing. It seems like he never knows when to stop and when to go, that Jon.

Jumpy and erratic, this band have no respect for their studio space. The whole album plays like a joke. Is that what music is? Is music funny? My friends seem pretty serious about it. Is there some big satire I'm not getting?

"Vince The Lovable Stoner" sounds like it's trying to be a country song but it is just as distracted as the rest of the album, never making a cohesive or coherent conclusion, randomly kicking up the tempo or guitar tone for no other reason than that they haven't in a while. This album is a mockery of career musicians, who, while I will not understand, and who I will endlessly critique, do not deserve this harsh treatment. Have some class, boys.

Oh. Oh, no. Oh oh oh oh no. OK, you know when you're on the freeway, and you're trying to pass a guy who's going a couple miles under the speed limit, and they see you, so they slow way down just to annoy you? "Everybody Knows You Cried Last Night" is the logical extreme of the jumpiness and incoherence that I've been complaining about. Guitar and vocals out of time with each other, bridges completely removed from everything else in the song, and absurd tempo and rhythm shifts are giving me Captain Beefheart flashbacks. Jon's guitar solo may as well just be a middle finger to anyone who expects musical elements within a single song to fit together. It sounds like someone switched radio frequencies abruptly.

The good news is that we're at the point on the album where I don't believe anything will surprise me, anymore. Just like the Sex Pistol's angry one-chord ramblings, A Tribe Called Quest's two-bar drum loop monologues, and Captain Beefheart's goose honks and out of time drummers, I've become accustomed to The Fratellis' brand of not-being-able-to-sit-still-through-one-of-their-own-songs misogyny. "Baby Fratelli" is more of the same. Generic rock riff, bored drummer cycling through every drum beat he knows, singer singing about some woman of loose moral upbringing,

Jon begins playing "Got Ma [sic] Nuts From A Hippy [sic]" before he remembers to count the rest of the band in, which is just bad form. Beyond the distracted, restless nature of the composition, it's also just rather disgusting to learn about the unhygienic conditions under which Jon lost his virginity. Whoever it was who spoke at the end of "The Gutterati?" about Jon's lyrics should probably be in charge of actually writing these songs. He couldn't be worse than this.

"Ole [sic] Black 'N' Blue Eyes" is the same song as "Whistle For The Choir" but without whistling, which I guess is good, except his breathless quivering on "eyes" in the chorus provides all the cringing and wincing we might need from this album. In what's almost a poetic way to end the album, Jon gets bored and starts singing along with the guitar.

Ultimately, I'm disappointed. While I doubted that the Sex Pistols, A Tribe Called Quest, or Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band actually knew anything about music, The Fratellis seem like they have potential to be real musicians. They've ruined any hope of that, however, by treating the whole thing like it's some big joke. They have taken their God-given talent to stay in time and hold a guitar (something I used to take for granted in a musician) and not only eschewed it by dismissing the idea outright, but lampooned it by recording an album at all. Whoever you anonymous person is, you should be ashamed of yourself. You call yourself a music fan.

I don't know, maybe Travis will like this.

If you think music is good, send me music, and I will tell you why you are wrong!

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