I am actually so so normal about them and the perfectly happy ending of season 2 where this totally happened!!!

We Could Go All Night

i am literally losing my mind, no thoughts fully feral he is all i have been thinking about oh my god oh my god oh my god

Pairing: Santiago Pope Garcia x F!Reader

Words: 2.1K

Warning: 18+ like actually so nasty, like actually i need help, like actually this man send my brain straight into the gutter, i want to devour him body AND SOUL, piv, this man a warning alone, biting, overstimulation, it's nasty and dirty you've been warned.

A/N: hahahAHHAHAHAH ok so i've been hyperfixated on him. i cannot think of anything else other than his man and all of the nasty things so i wrote this in a feral horny stupor and i hope you possibly enjoy it. this is sorta a continuing of orange daydream but it's not necessary to read that to enjoy the freak nasty here :) alright hope you enjoy this horny mess hehehehehehe <3333333

masterlist weoweoweow

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s not common that you are the one that wakes in a cold sweat at night. 

Usually it’s you wrapping Santi in your arms from behind as he whimpers in his sleep, the skin on his back tacky with cold sweat and memories he still has a hard time even telling you about. 

But tonight it’s you, the anxiety dreams stealing you away from the peace that was your shared bedroom.

In your house. 

With Santi. 

Though even that thought can’t bring you back from the ledge of wracking shivers and restless limbs.

Your eyes snap open for what feels like the hundredth time that evening, an exhausted sigh muffling into the pillow that’s damp with sweat. Why tonight of all nights your mind decides to go on a high speed race completely evades you but it doesn’t seem like you and sleep will be warm and cozy friends this evening. 

And it pains you even more because Santi is sleeping so sweetly pressed up behind you. Nose burrowed in the crook of your neck, legs tangled up with yours and the sheets, fingers splayed from the bottom of your ribs down to just below your belly button and usually the feel of him, the way he holds you would have you drifting into the sweetest dreams and all encompassing comfort. 

But now you’re too cognizant of every breath hoping to not wake the beautiful man behind you who will probably never get enough good sleep in his life with how his brain works. 

You close your eyes again, trying to steady your breath once more, counting sheep, counting your breaths, ticking away the seconds, anything to get you to calm the fuck down and every single tactic seems to drive you further up the wall. You have to get out of this bed.

But the second you move to try and quietly shift out of Santi’s grip, he presses you back to him, finger tips digging into the softness of your stomach, a whiny grumble settling against the middle your spine. 

“Where do you think you’re going?”

The smile that slips across your lips can’t be helped. He sounds divine.

Gravelly and deep and so content, you never thought he would be able to find such calm. 

You bring the hand resting against your stomach up to your lips and whisper into his palm,“Oh baby, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to wake you I just can’t sleep my brains all over the fucking place tonight, I’m just kinda loosing it.”

Every word is pressed into the callouses and dips along his hand and fingers and he nuzzles even closer to you, somehow pressing even more of himself against the back of you, and you can’t stop yourself from rolling back into him, pressing just as much back into him, needing him to know how much being close to him like this can still calm you. 

His hand drops from your lips to wrap itself around your jaw turning your head back to him, and he sits up just enough for you to see his sleepy eyes tracking across your features. 

God it’s just unfair that he gets to look like that.

“What can I do baby? You want me to distract ya for a bit, hm?” Even at three in the morning, with his hair mussed, features coated in a layer of sleep he still wiggles his eyebrows at you with promise and you giggle at him and the whirring in your brain slows by a couple miles per hour. 

His mouth drops back down to the corner of your jaw, mouthing at you in a way that has your hips rolling back against him, thoughts slowly eddying out till all you can think about is his warm breath against your skin and the hardening line of his cock against your ass. 

“Well, when you say it so sweet like that, I mean how could a girl refuse?”

He huffs a laugh against your throat, adding a nip of teeth into the mix that pulls a gasp from you, his hand traveling just a smidge lower, wrapping around your throat and pulling you fully flush to him now. 

“You feel so fucking good baby, don’t know how I don’t wake up every night to fuck you.”

And the fucking mouth on him too. You whimper against your pillow as his mouth sucks and bites at the exposed column of your throat and his hips continue to roll against your ass, letting you feel exactly what’s waiting for you and yet leaving you so, so empty. 

His hand travels down lower, wrapping around your thigh and pulling it back over his own, opening you up to him and his cock slips down to rut against your sopping folds. 

“Fuck, Santi, please, please, please, baby, please.” You’re babbling as his cock continues its long slow strokes against you but not in you. You can feel your wetness coating him, can hear the sound of him slipping against you over and over and over again. His breath so hot on the back of your neck, teeth clamping down just so on your shoulder, you’re drowning in him, willfully succumbing to the way he’s making you feel. 

“So fucking wet for me baby, always so wet for me, god yes. You want my cock, hm? That what you want? I can’t wait to feel you baby, can’t wait to have you wrapped around me, fuck you’re gonna feel so good. You going to be good for me? Be my good girl just for me, ya?”

You keen for him, whimper and roll your hips just so and he just catches at your entrance and the moans ripped from both of your throats are lewd. Dirty and needy and fracturing around the edges with how worked up you both are. 

“Yes, Santi I’ll be so good for you baby. Only for you, always for you.” You’re words are slurred but he hears you loud and clear. The bite of his teeth and the groan against your skin confirms that he heard you. 

And with those beautiful words, he finally slips into you down to the hilt. 

“F-fuck, so fucking tight baby, yes.” 

He nestles somehow even deeper into your core, hips pressed flush to the curve of your ass, and your toes curl with the stretch of him. The air is knocked out of your lungs, a breathless whine all that you can give when he fills you like this. 

His palm rests against your lower stomach and you know he can feel himself in your gut as he roles all the way out and snaps right back in. 

“Santi, shit, yes, just like that, just like that, you feel so good.” Every snap of his hips has you chocking on air, words breathless, moans high pitched and keening and you can feel his chuckle up and down your spine. 

You can barely hear anything over the rush of blood in your ears and your own moans, until Santi slows down his punishing pace to slow, long strokes through your heat.

And then you finally hear how fucking wet you are. The squelch of his cock pushing in and out of you now deafening and all you can focus on as Santi whines against your back, his fingers trailing down to between your thighs feeling how you’re stretched around the girth of him.

“Oh baby, you’re so fucking wet for me. Jesus, fucking dripping for me, fuck. Stretched so pretty around me sweetheart, so good for me.”

His words rip you to shreds, drool pooling on the pillow as your mind blanks out with the amount of pleasure coursing through your body. The slow roll of his hips driving you fucking insane with how you need more, your orgasm building in slow lapping waves that somehow feel like they’re also about to fucking drown you. Your hand comes up to dig into his curls tugging him ever closer as you start to roll your hips back, following his strokes. 

He chokes on a moan, your grip in his hair tightening as the coil in your stomach builds to something almost painful. 

Yet his strokes stay slow, punching up into you, pleasure clawing at every nerve in your being. 

“I need more, baby, please, fuck, just a little more baby, please.”

“Anything for you my good girl, anything for you baby, fuck always, anything.”

And then his fingers find your clit and press.

You almost scream out as the pleasure rips from your core, the orgasm you’d thought was only in the distance, actually right there just waiting for that final press to finally drown you in wave after wave after wave of pleasure. 

It starts as a spasm, your walls clamping down in a vice like grip around his cock, the pleasure so overwhelming it’s almost painful. Your whole body starts to shake as Santi continues plunging into your cunt, through every shiver, every pulse, pulling pleasure from every corner of your being, his fingers continuing to press tight circles against your clit. 

You’re babbling incoherently into your pillow, your body not sure if it wants more or if it’s all too much, and then you feel Santi’s hips start to stutter against your ass. Can feel more than hear his groans as he starts to fill you with pulse after pulse of his cum, filling you till he starts to leak out onto your thighs. 

It’s all so wet, and he nips at the column of your throat as his fingers continue to rub against your clit even as your orgasm ebbs away. His cock is still stuffed in you, barely softening as he continues to tease at you and your body starts to shiver with the overwhelming feeling of it. 

“Baby, can you give me one more? I think you can give me one more, tell me if it’s too much but I think you can do it baby. Let me make you feel good, my good girl, doing so good for me, fuck yes baby please.”

You whine, high pitched and needy, and your body can’t decide if it wants to pull away from his fingers or grind into them harder. You turn your head, seeking out his lips and the kiss is messy, more heaving breaths and nips of teeth than anything else. 

But it all feels so fucking good. 

Your hips start to move against his fingers, and his responding groan settles scorching hot in the pit of your stomach where another orgasm seems to be somehow building once again as though the first one never even fully finished. He has you wrapped around his finger, and you aren’t one to complain. 

This orgasm builds slower than the first, but no less intense, the still lingering ripples of pleasure starting to crash into each other.

Your breaths are more like pants and he holds you painfully still as he circles over your clit with such precision the pleasure blurs with pain as tears leak from your eyes. He’s ruining you. Completely and utterly destroying you as he builds you up to heights you didn’t know you could reach. 

And as he sinks his teeth into your pulse point, fingers circling one final time with an earth-shattering press, you fracture into a million little pieces. 

You can’t even moan, can’t even breath as your orgasm chews you up and spits you out. You can only shiver in his arms as he whispers praise after praise into your ear, lips sucking at the lobe, pulling the pleasure somehow even further. 

Finally the wave breaks and you’re panting his name, clawing at his arm, shoving his hand away from your clit because now it’s too fucking much. Your body curling in on itself as burning pleasure sparkles from your fingertips to your toes that has your minding blanking out, the only thing grounding you being the soft press of Santis lips against your skin and the warmth of his body.  

You don’t know if it’s been minutes or hours before your eyes finally blink open and you uncurl your fingers and toes, wiggling them around working out the numbness, and try to stretch your spine only to feel Santi’s cock, fully hard again and still so, so deep inside you.

Santi and you both moan into the night air and you can feel his smile against your throat. You can't help but giggle back at him.

It seems as though tonight is long from over. 

Not that you’re complaining. Who needs sleep anyways.

~~~~~

lol sorry take me to horny jail i just couldn't help myself :) he is just so hot and I WANT HIM!!!!! alright gonna go curl up in a ball in my room and think about him for another million hours kisses <333333

Hiii, I'd like to request a match up !!

First of all, sorry if it's written weird, English is not my first language and I'm in need of a few days of sleep lmao :') also this is very long because I have no idea how to write concisely to save my life, so, sorry for your eyes? brain? Idk but sorry

1 - I'm AFAB genderqueer, might be a demigirl ? idk gender is confusing. anyways, I use any pronouns because I'm extra like that lmao, and I prefer my sexuality to stay unlabelled for now

2 - Papas !! (they're so silly I love them)

3 - I'm rather small (163cm/5'4") and kinda pudgy. I would not say I'm plus size but I'm definitely thicker than average, especially around my hips and thighs (stretch marks n cellulite gang WYA). I used to be very insecure about it but thankfully I got better at loving myself (still working on it but I'll get there eventually). I'm also getting a tattoo on my upper left arm very soon (inspired by Kafka's Metamorphosis because yes) and hopefully some more piercings (I only have triple lobe for now). my hair's light brown and very short, I buzzed it back in August and I'm growing it out. Yes, I do have a terrible case of bed head. I also trim my eyebrows to be very short, makes it easier to do my makeup. Almost forgot to talk about my eyes, but basically they're blue-ish green and usually overshadowed by the huge dark circles I have. I don't dress according to one particular style, although I enjoy being in full goth fashion, makeup and all. I would probably describe my style by 'satanic grandma' because as much as I love my band shirts and inverted crosses, I also cannot live without my extensive collection of grandpa sweaters and ugly ties.

4 - I'm an introvert - and an awkward anxious ball of nerves at that, but I don't mind stepping up to the task in social situations if the people I'm with are not comfortable ordering food/asking a question. I usually am very cautious of how I act with new people I meet as I am autistic and don't want to 'scare them off' or make them uncomfortable. However, if we vibe, you get to know the still anxious but also very silly me. I especially love coming across other people that are on the spectrum, because we usually have a certain understanding of each other's way of acting and just be silly together. Speaking from experience with my closest friends, at least (not generalizing autistic people !!).

5 - I've been hyperfixating on Ghost for a good while now, but apart from that I'm very much interested in art. Learning about it of course, but also making it (I'm in art prep class rn and it's kicking my ass, send help). Drawing, writing, taking photos, making zines and stuff... hopefully after prep class I can get into a proper art school and study illustration, and maybe look into becoming a graphic novel author. My favorite artists would probably be Dora Maar, Gustave Doré and Gustav Klimt tbh. I also have an interest in geopolitics and history, especially in the Middle Ages' witch hunts and black death, but also in more recent topics such as the satanic panic. Basically all things occult and satanic. I also love internet horror media such as ARGs, like My house.wad or the Hypnagogic Archive. Music taste wise, I listen to everything, but my favorite genres are hard rock and metal. I'd say my all time fav artists are Ghost, Slayer (South of Heaven walked so that Year Zero could run, change my mind), Iron Maiden, SOAD, Twin Temple, Radiohead, alex g and Mitski.

6 - I'm a huge cat person but I also very much love crows and rats and reptiles and overall all the animals that would seem weird to keep as pets. Also I love love LOVE having deep conversations about complicated philosophical topics at night in a calm spot at a party or smth, specifically while drinking off-brand soda. Idk why I included this, I just thought of it and I'm too tired to question how my sleep deprived brain thinks right now.

Sorry again for the huge wall of text, y'all are the best !

Have a good day/night !!

This post is part of the 1000 followers match up event. Entries for the event are now closed.

Your match is...Copia

He's all for helping you love yourself, he'll kiss any part of your body you are insecure about and everyday he tells you how amazing you look. The thing that really makes it work is that he means it, you can see the sincerity in his expression.

He can also be an awkward anxious bundle of nerves. But what is so cute is that both of you try and step up for the other in social situations. You see Papa Emeritus IV come out a lot at those times.

You vibed immediatly with him it was just an instant connection. He just got you, and you him. He treasures that so much.

He will help all he can with your art class prep. Like whatever you need. If you want him to just keep you company he's there, if you need models he'll get his rats to pose with him (it's just adorable). Or if you need to work super hard he'll bring you food and drinks to keep you going.

Sometimes he joins you but drawing isn't his strongest skill so it's a good giggle, he can laugh at his mistakes and he enjoys seeing you smile at them. Other times he'll sit and write songs as you work, he wrote one about you just the other day.

He got so excited when he found out you had an interest in the middle ages, witch hunts and black death. He literally squeaked with joy and you discussed it long into the night, while drinking lots of off-brand soda.

He also finds some really cool books for you to read from the clergy library, occult, satanic panic and so on, it's all there.

~

Written by Nyx

Welcome in!

Hey there! I might as well make something to let you all know a few more things about me and my blog here in this little post. At least I hope it won’t be too long of a post. Anyway, you can call me Celtic, Cel, Wolfie or Woofs.  I really don’t mind. I am a writer and I occasionally draw. The creative things I do would be in the #celtic writes and #Celtic draws Tags respectively. Also, please don’t be afraid to send in any asks or anything! I love hearing from people! I just am a bit awkward. 

Current hyperfixation: The DCA fandom (FNAF Security Breach) 

My current writings: 

Crimson Skies

Summary:  “Sun and Moon has hunted someone who is more fight than flight. Little do they know that this small turn of events initiated a bigger chain of events to happen.“

Info on the fic: My personal Vampire AU fic with a bit lot of fantasy twists in it. Even though the fic focuses mostly on the reader’s interactions with Sun and Moon, you will meet the rest of the cast sometime in the fic.  Tags related to the fic/au: #Crimson Skies

Solstice

Summary: “ You were young when the Pizzaplex was starting with their construction. Now that you've grown up, gone to college and been through a couple of hoops from things out of your own control, including a severe accident, and you've landed neck deep in financial issues. Stumbling blindly as you go, you've decided to move back home and try at least to apply as a mechanic for The Pizzaplex. Please mind the tags. serious topics will be brought up in later chapters, I'll try to warn ahead of time. ” 

Info on the fic: After a life changing accident the reader (Y/N) applies and gets the job at the Pizza Plex. They now work as a mechanic and general technician for the Pizza Plex. However, they have new issues that arise when they start their job there. The reader is an amputee with prosthetics. With the miracle of robotics and the fact that technology has advanced so far, the reader has a robotic arm. Just like in the summary mentions, there are serious topics that will be brought up as the fic goes on. The reader has their own issues, while also trying to help the animatronics around them.  Tags related to the fic/au: #Solstice

To Be Hunted Summary: “ You are a lone werewolf that had been accepted in to this small farming community. Everything was fine and peaceful until a vampire rolls in. After taking care of the threat, two hunters are called in. Now you need to balance finding out what vampires want and trying to keep the hunters at a distance. The questions is, are you going to be successful?” Info on the fic: Careful with the tags. There is descriptions of violence and minor character deaths. Sun and Moon are more likely going to appear in chapter two after to being called to take care of the situation in the town. However, there is a much bigger plot that is about to happen if the reader (y/n) isn’t able to put a stop to it.  Tags related to the fic/au: #To Be Hunted, #Hunter au  Growing Pains Summary: “ It was going to be a normal fishing trip. Just a normal hike to the secluded river beach and maybe relax while listening to the forest waking up around you. However, that isn't how things go for you and now you managed to gain the attention of a legendary creature. Now everything seems to be turned on its head. Hopefully, you can adapt to it quickly enough and help these living legends out as their world is starting to shrink around them.” Info on the fic: My merMay fic that went a bit longer than I expected. Sun and Moon are based off lake sturgeons that have seasonal migrating patterns. There is more to them than that though and the reader is in the middle of more than just a new world being introduced to them.  Tags related to the fic/au: #Growing Pains, #merfic, #fishyfic Lion Au (Also know as the Lion King Au) Information of the AU: Sun and Moon were raised in a pride along with the rest of their family, a few are ocs to make the au work. Everything was fine until a larger rival pride invaded their home land, challenged their oldest brother for not only the land but the rest of their pride members. To keep everyone safe, Eclipse left the pride. After the quality of life for the celestial pride started to decline a year after, Sun and Moon left. Moving to a more Nomadic nature as the seasons change and flood their dry season den. But things don’t stay the same as the receive word that their other brothers are still alive in a different land. Tags related to the AU: #lion au #lion king au, #lion Sun, #lion Moon.

Just to let you all know! I love receiving questions about my fics and in general. So feel free and ask a few questions! I also do post crumbs every now and then under the tag #crumbs so it is easier for you all to see them. 

Also I hope you all are having a lovely day! ^-^

ARTIST WELLNESS

Hello everyone 🤗

I shared this on Artfol and thought this might come in handy for artists here on Tumblr.

I wanted to create a collection of artist wisdom about physical, emotional and mental well-being for all artists.

SO PLEASE REBLOG THIS POST WITH SOME TIPS/ HABITS THAT HELP YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF . I'D BE SO GRATEFUL!❤️

I'd go first. These are the things I try to do or keep in mind to take care of myself.

1. Every Sunday, I do a deep stretch. I focus on my fingers, wrist, arms, shoulders, neck and back. The entire art making process puts a toll on our bodies (and posture :)) so doing these stretches helps to loosen up the muscles. I just search artist stretches (or *insert muscle here* stretches) on YouTube and do whatever I like. 💪

2. I have a pomodoro timer app. I have adhd so it's hard for me to keep track of time when I am working on an artwork. I work for 25 mins, then take a break for 5 mins. During this break, I get up, take a stroll, drink water, eat something, lightly stretch and look at non-screen objects or talk to my family. 🪻🌼

3. I keep the curtains open in the room where I am doing art. I am lucky to have a park near my home so I get to see trees, but even looking at the sky or having open space helps with creativity. 🌳🌳

4. Before any art practice, I take a soft cloth and gently wipe my tablet and stylus. I want to feel gratitude for having the resources to create art, so I touch them and feel their texture and send thanks to their service (very Marie Kondo of me ik 😝). I do the same with my pencil colours and sketchbooks and such. It helps me emotionally feel more connected to my supplies and art in general. 🧘‍♀️

5. Because I have a timer app, I also sometimes use it to switch between artworks. This is something that I learnt on Artfol (shout out to the community ❤️) but it helps when I am feeling frustrated with the one I'm working on.

6. I try to NOT do art everyday. This is more for adhd reasons because when I go into hyperfixation mode, my life is consumed by the said hyperfixation and I burn out. I love art and I don't want to do it so much that I start hating it. Yk like those songs you listen to too much that you can't stand them. So take a day (or days) off! It's important to have hobbies independent of art. 🏋️‍♀️📚☕

7. Social. Media. Detox!!! Who doesn't love sharing their art and getting compliments?? No one. We are all human and praise makes us happy. We feel seen and heard. But social media is a bit bittersweet. I love sharing art, but when it doesn't get attention, I feel rejected. I love looking at other artists' work, but sometimes I can't help but compare. It's human psychology. So either put a timer on the apps to limit usage or take a day off from them altogether. I do a bit of both, depending on my mindset and dopamine levels on the day tbh. 🐾

That's all I can think of for now. I hope this helps someone. 🥰

Feel free to add your wisdom. And share this post with your artist friends.

Have an awesome art experience! 🎨🎨🖌️🖌️🖼️🖼️

Hey. I've noticed, even doing what I can to cull out tumblr's porn bot problem, that I've gained a few hundred followers in the last month or so. I see a lot of fresh likes, but very little conversation. So while this post is to invite that, I want to break down what's really going on here in the current fandom malarky.

The long-skewed conversation in this fandom has kind of presented an image that I bite. But for what it's worth, I bite assholes, which is why I'm doing everything I can to paywall and ask screen them away so I can zen.

I cuss a lot. But like, this fandom gotta understand. While the majority are from a very privileged and "refined" culture bubble, and the upper class came to rule the dialogue via convention paypasses to content and the illusion of access, not everyone comes from that shit.

just like the show is telling you from deep in the soul of New Orleans, like I warned you, nobody has to take your shit either. If I want to dip my hair in holy water and camp the vampires to death so help me god I will. I literally told you this a year ago, that you weren't ready for this shit. That it would be in your face, breakdancing, loud as shit, and not giving two fucks about your civility culture.

Now those old paypasses are dated and they're literally watching what republicans would scream as The Great Replacement happening at conventions, like I also warned, while we shake our mardis gras gay asses in your face, also just like I warned.

And now the open homophobic comments come flying out of hookerwitch, and a bunch of concern trolls are trying to pearl clutch that we aren't Model Minorities and Model Gays that fit THEIR view of how we should behave. No, eat shit. This is stonewall, and I don't want anyone to forget who in SPN fandom threw the first brick, and half the wall shortly after.

So now they're hate stalking and literally devoting a majority of their lives and energy to try to break past my walls and bother me, and I don't think they're understanding their own emotional investment here. They spend hours or days master planning to break into my server just to hear about me complaining about how gassy I am, or send one shit anon they thought about how to phrase for hours to try to troll, and most of it just gets screened, so they get angrier, and the hate capping and accusation throwing and pearl clutching to muddy up the dialogue begins, but we put a pin in the big racist and homophobic shit showing its face from the same recurring names. whether that be 2po, hookerwitch, whomever. Doesn't matter. Same ciswhitehetpatriarchy bullshit different day.

I cuss. I cuss about a lot. I am very enthusiastic about cheeseburgers and will say I will break a fuckers arm for a texas toms cheeseburger, and people have the context to get what I'm saying, and the culture and tone I'm speaking it in, rather than bad faith trolls. But those same bad faith trolls tried to hurt people I care about, so when they hear a real counter-threat to their threats, they hyperfixate on it, as they have, because they're scared.

They're scared because they realized they're running into my people in every greet, in every hall, in every op line. Sometimes literally. And they don't know until it's too late, and it's a different person every time, and they're realizing outside of the social club they sold themselves as small, elite and privileged that they lived in like a bubble, the convention space isn't their own any more than the show they're realizing they lost, and frankly, who they lost to, and how.

So my no bullshit attitude on concern trolls needn't scare away comments and additions from new blogs. You see my reblog ironworked and mattzerella and geeky panic additions a lot, and it's not bc we have some. Secret Connection or whatever. It's that they get it. And they have good content that always improves my content.

So whether that be adding your voice to posts (some have expressed being shy due to 2po/scripthunt/crowded table's doxxing patterns, I get that), or joining the server--remember, the Clubhouse section is free and still a lot of content. Any hour of any day you can check the Events calendar and find at least a radio event if not a group watch, a stream, a movie, a meta discussion section, a day you can take over the radio yourself, whatever. There's a lot of room.

If you follow me because you recognize the difference of someone that's very war torn as a fandom vet that has reached his end goal and is over totalitarian bullshit flying around passing itself as discussion, when it's just the noise of a cause that already lost and is getting cleaned out--by all means. Add.

The server says there's an illusion of me as some rabid dog, when I'm just really FUCKING excited about barbeque, don't let anyone tell me how I should FUCKING talk or live, and do not let anyone fucking TOUCH anyone I FUCKING care about. And they realized their time is ticking on literally everything and for the first time in their lives, they're genuinely afraid, and good.

But if you aren't that kind of problem person? Come on in. The server will probably feel like home. Or add to my posts or DM me on tumblr, though I WILL ignore and block any blatant sock accounts for the same reason as everything else.

But if you're here, slowly finding peace with the show, and looking for a garden to enjoy it in, come on in to POLOL, or message me. I'm really just a teddy bear deep down. Thing is papa bear will rip an asshole's ass apart if he fucks around in his turf or with the baby bears he already didn't cull himself in his land. But if you ain't one of those people? I just wanna cuddle and simp and talk about Supernatural and jung.

If that sounds like you, reach out some way or another.

Somebody's going back through the BBC Sherlock phase lmao (same here though so thanks for bringing the good shit to those of us who don't wanna go through the tag)

I... yep. 🤭

I re-watched it the other week and it's now at the top of my current hyperfixations (I need to do another fandom focus post cause my priorities have shifted). Also, yay, a friend!!!🤗😍 I really want to talk to people about it but no one wants too...

I'm now on my 2nd re-watch of the show in as many weeks. Oops.

I forgot how good it was, like I love this show so much! I've fallen so deep that I'm considering changing my blog look for the first time in MONTHS from IWTV. I'm still debating.

You're welcome! Yeah, I did it a few days ago but I kept seeing hatred for the show/characters and it really upset me. But I've blocked some people and tags and am braving it again to find all the amazing art and gifsets and meta etc., so I'm happy to help!

(my face when I saw your ask and you reblogging and liking all my sherlock posts)

SEND ME AN ASK ABOUT BBC SHERLOCK

SEND ME AN ASK ABOUT AMC IWTV/THE VAMPIRE CHRONICLES

Queen, please kindly send help/advice. My love for Michael Corleone has reached such depraved levels that it's starting to make me sad. :( The fact that I'll never have him and the cemented reality that I'll definitely be alone forever. Because I now perceive every man IRL as completely uninteresting if not downright uglee, since Michael has set standards that no man can ever reach. Ugh I mean just LOOK at him. I thought if someone can relate, it might be u. (Though, for transparency, I should add that I'm deranged and you're most likely not.) Also: Moth to a flame is a MASTERPIECE. You're a flawless genius QUEEN for putting this out. Seriously, you brought me so so much joy, you have no idea. Thank you.

Omg anon... 🤭😵‍💫 You've officially gone into the deep end. I've been there, let me tell you that. 🤣🤣 I call this Stage 3 of Michael Corleoneism. It's chronic, it can be a blessing, it can be a curse. You know how it is. I don't blame you either, it's pretty easy to slip into this but that doesn't mean it'll necessarily last forever!! Mine lasted two years until I could snap out of it. 👁️👄👁️

Michael is so fine, too fine, the most fine and sexy man out there it's almost impossible to compare. We actually need to stop the comparisons, 😳 but there's nothing wrong with raising the bar sky high. Do you know what it's like out here?? 😭 THE BAR IS IN HELL. This is exactly why I wrote Moth to Flame! So the deranged (I'm all the way there with you + we are holding hands) Michael girlies could have their chance to be with him in said fic... 👀 I wish I was joking but I am not. You are most welcome but I must thank you for reading my silly little fic. 🥹✨

He is PERFECT. You just need to let the thoughts of Michael marinate in you and enjoy your hyperfixation to the fullest. 😭❤️ If you need to indulge, there's always AI Character chat and AI voice play too. Just let your heart roam wild, it's for fun. 👀👀

hi hi!!! bored so do you have anything you like want to infodump about? or just send a long post about or want me to research/read/watch/listen to or etc? this ask can take as long as u want or be as long as you want or whatever u want just curious :) can be about absolutely anything!!

hey there!

sooo this is pretty different from what i normally talk about BUT tlou hbo has reignited my hyperfixation on it and sadly they have taken over my brain once again. aaand i kind of feel like people are misinterpreting the core of the story at the moment, so. full ramble below the cut and yes i will be spoiling absolutely everything (including the next season, but i'll mark that part with a warning) so i am very sorry tumblr user hazmatazz if you can't read this now but. i NEED to get this off of my chest.

right off the bat, i'm going to get to the main thing: joel's lie.

a lot of what i'm about to explain is best summarized with the bts the making of clips that are shown at the end of look for the light but i feel a very deep need to spell this out for some of you.

NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION IS RIGHT OR WRONG!!!

and this is a running theme that i'm definitely going to get back to later because that's another main thing with tlou as a whole.. they tend to create very morally grey, not-right not-wrong characters, and that's on purpose. a large part of this story as a whole is to show how people (and humanity in a lot of cases) would react if we were put into these situations.

which leads us right back to what joel did.

the last of us offers this already very damaged, very broken person a really visceral, hard decision. and i feel like people are forgetting that these experiences, him losing sarah and tess and the promise he made to tess.. all of that shapes his decision to save ellie and protect her.

like (i believe it was, i don't have the time to check--) craig mazin said at the end of look for the light, a lot of tlou1 is about the deep, unconditional love of a parent. he was essentially offered to save his adoptive daughter or save humanity.

just think about his situation for a second. if you had this person that you loved like family, and you had to choose saving them over a world that is already long gone, would you? because i know i would, and i'm sure there are a lot of people that would agree with me.

and then there's ellie.

throughout the first part, ellie has this strange sort of, for lack of a better term, "chosen one" complex, where she has this mindset that's like, "okay, i have this really special, probably rare thing, and there's no one else like me, as far as we know. what can i do with that?" and her first answer is always to use it. the show takes this another step further in a small way when she tries to save sam, but it doesn't work, which is some pretty rough foreshadowing, but i'm getting off-topic.

ellie wants her immunity to mean something bigger, to be something greater than just something that can only stop her from getting infected. she wants to save and help people, because she couldn't save rylie or tess or sam, and she's watching all of these people die around her, and she can't do anything. so, obviously, when she finds out there's a chance she can change that, she's going to want to tak eit. and even more so, she's going to get hurt when joel, this person she loves and cares a lot about, stops that from happening on purpose and lies to her face about it.

they both have their reasons. does that make joel a little selfish, in some ways? maybe. but talk to any parent you know, and they would do the same thing. sometimes, when it comes to stuff like this, people can be inherently selfish. it doesn't mean that they're bad people, though.

you could argue for both sides here, and that's what makes all of this so complicated. ellie is a bordering-on-suicidal fourteen year old girl who wanted her immunity to mean something for other people, too. joel just wanted to keep her around and let her live a somewhat fulfilling life. you could also say that fedra wouldn't allow the vaccine to be distributed, or that the fireflies are liars or that maybe the fireflies were just trying to help, and you'd be right on all accounts. it is just too difficult to call either of these people wrong for getting upset and doing what they did.

season two spoilers start here!

i also sort of want to elaborate on that thing i said earlier about tlou and its characters, because i know for a fact we're going to have the same fights we got when tlou2 came out once season 2 is out, and i want to clear some stuff up right now before i lose my mind. yes, this is tangential. i do not care at all lmao

if you can forgive joel and tommy for all of the shitty things they've done, hell, if you can forgive ellie for what she does in part 2, then you can absolutely forgive abby, too. and if you don't, you're kind of biased and lack some very important empathy, imo.

let's just look at what these characters do during this conflict completely objectively, for a minute, sticking to the games' canon.(since s2 isn't out yet)

joel kills abby's father, the surgeon that was meant to kill ellie, in order to save her. abby, in turn, once she finds him, kills joel. ellie and tommy, out of pure grief and anger, track abby and her group down and kill all eight of them off one by one. ellie only spares abby once she's the last person standing and has a kid to take care of.

keep in mind, abby literally SPARED ellie and tommy. was this for some pretty harsh reasons? probably. but still. she said it herself, she let them live. she could have killed them at any time in that room, and she made the choice not to.

now, no one other than abby had really laid a hand on joel, other than wrapping that tourniquet around his leg at the very beginning. ellie still wanted them all dead, because they were there, and they helped, and they were friends with abby, and in ellie's eyes, that's crime enough to deserve punishment.

but we still love ellie. we still love tommy. we still root for both of them, because we understand their characters and empathize with them. (which was sort of the point of playing as abby for so long in part 2 but i guess some people just didn't click with that which is fine but ugh. you don't GET ITTTT)

on the outside looking in, abby really isn't any worse than either of them. you may even argue that she's better. but that's one of the driving themes of the games, and the story as a whole. no one is good or bad, we're all just people with separate motivations that intersect in bad ways.

spoilers end here!

i guess that's why i get so frustrated when i see that we're still misunderstanding the conflict between joel and ellie here. there isn't any right or wrong here! they are both just people who care about each other very deeply, and sometimes, because of that, they get hurt. if we're going to keep doing this i am begging you all not to watch season two. you're just going to get pissed off again.

Hello! Could I by any chance get a Harry Potter matchup? 18 plus characters pls!

My pronouns are she/her, I’m 19 and either male or female preference.

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬: intp, type 5, true neutral, leo, slytherclaw, choleric temperament. I have massive introverted tendencies and am awkward in nature with new people. As a result I can come across as aloof and indifferent at first. I absolutely despise small talk. However with my friends I’m quite friendly and outgoing. Whenever I’m with my friends I can get really giggly and dorky with that childlike excitement when talking abt my recent hyperfixations. I open up to people very easily if we have similar interests. That’s when the chaotic theories and wacky ideas spout out. I tend to either overthink everything or not think at all. I’m a bit of a control freak and want to do the things the way I do them but I won’t enforce this on anyone else unless the result directly affects me. Just let me do things the way I do them. I'm also quite dedicated and ambitious on what I want in my life and will stand by those decisions.

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗧𝗦: New media art. I mostly work with digital mediums like creative code. I love working with interaction design, web design, user experience and user interfaces. I also love special effects, and 3D/2d modeling. I’m currently trying to build my own mini video game. Apart from this, I love other mediums of art too especially drawing, digital illustrating, and printmaking.

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦: let’s just say I spend way too much time daydreaming. Fan fiction, video games, movies, books, tv shows. My favorite genres are definitely fantasy, sci fi and alternate history. Anything that lets me daydream and disappear from reality for a while is a hobby of mine. I also love working out and weight lifting.

LIKES: I love lazy weekends at home, classic arcades, vanilla lattes, learning random new facts, spending time alone, intelligence, creativity, a good sense of witty humor, conversations where you can just be yourself and skip all the awkward small talk, the look on people’s faces when they ramble abt the stuff they’re into, a good home cooked meal, summer and warm weather, a good giggling session with friends esp abt fictional crushes ahahha.

DISLIKES: hugging and physical touch (tho I will warm up to you once I get close), large crowds, cold weather, admitting my anxieties, talking on the phone, going to the doctor/dentist, small talk, backstabbing people, when people have no ambition/purpose in life

TYPE: intelligence and creativity is like the number one thing for me. Passion for whatever they’re interested in. I also love sensitivity cause I tend to struggle with that so I admire those who are. My love language is acts of service. I would love someone I can just chill with, have deep conversations abt anything with, someone I can explore my hobbies and learn abt theirs.

Thank You! 💜

I match you with Hermione Granger!

The most surprising way to get a girlfriend was to panic while her father was fixing your teeth, you've always hated dentists not the people themselves but you hated how scared you would get. You just hate the feeling of being scared. Of course, when you start to panic Dr. Granger asked his daughter to come in and read to you to try to help you calm down.

You have no clue how but while she was reading to you you told Hermione that you thought she was beautiful and that she was reading one of your favorite books, and that's how you ended up with a date.

-------------

You are about the same age at the time when we both had first started dating. So of course when you found out she had to go back to school once summer ended you were disappointed and we're worried that she wouldn't want to be with you anymore. That's until Hermione told you that she wanted to continue seeing you and so you both agreed to send letters to each other.

Every time you got a letter from Hermione you felt like your heart was beating faster you were just so happy that you two were together! As the school year went on you were starting to become worried, Hermione's letters are starting to become further apart and shorter and shorter as the days went by. By the time your sixth year of school was over the letters had stopped, when you had gone to see the Grangers in concern about Hermione they were gone.

----------------

It had been two and a half years since you had been sent the last letter from Hermione you were now eighteen years old. Even though you knew most likely that she had forgotten about you you still remembered her and the wonderful days you two spent together. You still kept Hermione's letters that she wrote you inside a box under your bed, after all no matter what had happened you still loved her.

One day right before eight o'clock, your Doorbell went off, even more, curious you knew that no one was going to come visit you today nor did you have any deliveries. Nervous you went towards your door to answer and when you unlocked the door and poked out your head to see who was there. You nearly fainted standing in front of you was Hermione she looked much older now, more tired, and more confident as well.

"Well, aren't you going to let me in love?"

----------------

@danzalladaggers

Thank you for asking me for a matchup I hope you like it!

Me, standing in the mirror at 3 am, drunk out of my mind, re-enacting my pre-CV submission era debut at a bookstore: So, I've realised the girlies here don't really conform to the Booktok, and the boys are looking for Kafka. Did you know I can tell where we can get a book from just from looking at its ISBN? Yeah, 9781474, that's Jonathan Ball. Is it a manga? Yeah, it'll take a minimum four weeks, but due to our country being low on the list of priorities, it might take 8 to 16 weeks, no inbetween. You want me to contact you via Discord? Sure thing dude. Oh, Sarah J Maas is amazing, I met a girl in 2017 who has been 5+ years deep in her hyperfixation on the Throne of Glass series. I read the first 3 chapters and it was intriguing but I have 1000 books on my TBR list so it's not often that I can actually finish a book, but I swear you'll enjoy it. If not you can come back and throw the book at my head. Oh, you're looking for Riaan Mansers' adult books? I'll contact my coworkers who got me fired for a supposed case of sugar theft. I met him on several occasions and I'm sure I can convince him to send us a copy for you despite the limited (on-demand) print since none of the distributors have realised that they should have kept his books on the list for ordering. Oh, my sweet colleague from a different branch inquiring about a book from a local publisher you can't trace despite it being a google away? Sure, here, you can order Karavan Press titles from Protea. Protea Boekhuis or Protea Books? It's Protea Boekhuis, of course. "Hey, is this YA book any good?" "Yes, my little brother (re: coworker everybody assumed was my lil bro) has been obsessed with this authors books since he got to the level where he could comprehend them." Oh, you're tired of the fact that Wilbur Smith is dead and other people are continuing his books? Here's Tony Park. He's on par with old school Wilbur Smith, if not better. Can I tell you about how he traumatised me into memorising the faces of every local author, or how he holds fund raisers for the local wildlife, or how wonderful I think he is soley for the fact that he made my first (abusive) manager uncomfortable whenever we held book launches for him? Would you like to hear my opinion on where is the best place to order books that will actually interest you since the majority of book chains seem to have their own idea of what a bookstore is supposed to stock? Or would you like me to explain how the pricing margins work and why we have the best prices? Oh, why does x bookstore have this American book but we don't? Why is this book so pricey? Why do you not stock Bungou Stray Dogs? Why do you want me to explain to you, a German expat, why I don't believe Berserk is a suitable read for your 11 year old son, or why your 13 year old daughter should not read Colleen Hoover? Can I convince you to please support the local library? Please don't treat me like an information desk or map. Please allow me to recommend an author to your daughter that is not Enid Blyton. Please let your daughter read Amelia Fang. Do not underestimate your child when it comes to reading capability. Please let them read something where it has words that will challenge their vocabulary. Please, adults and older teens, read shitty books. Not every read needs to be perfect or life-changing. Learn to appreciate. Gift books aren't a thing anymore, I am sad that you cannot give your friend a book with humorous quotes or funny pictures, too. I want to have Chicken Soup for the Soul on my shelves just as much as you. Also, I am autistic. Yeah, I am AFAB and I don't look like your autistic son/daughter/cousin, but I understand and want to help the best I can.

long ask ahead (im so sorry)

hehe hmmm i don’t rlly have a fave trope besides protective characters and fantasy!!! i love it when the ml just comes up and defends the reader and like, pushes them back and steps in front of them and uses a deep voice (like felix from stray kids cuz he has a GREAT voice) and then the bad guy goes and then he turns around and looks at the reader and IT GETS ME EVERY TIME IM NOT KIDDING!!

I also don’t like bully x victim fics. there’s also a lot of bullying in the philippines (where my fam is from) and then i experienced it pretty bad too. it’s just usually upsetting to read and i can’t forgive any of their excuses in fiction, it just feels disingenuous 

…and yes, i did send u an ENTIRE ESSAY OF JUNGWON LMAO!! he’s my baby. i am attached. completely. i think he’s becoming one of my many hyperfixations. 

DONT MENTION HIS DUALITY!! IM SENSITIVE LMAO

and help those pics,, ugh i wanna squish him he’s bby

also, i legit had a full on convo w the admin of kfn (who is also an engene,, who knew??) and we were just simping over en- and she was like “oh man, sonata is gonna love u when u tell her this” and im like “I HOPE SO AFTER EVERYTHING SHE PUT ME THROUGH (aka the jungwon photos lmao)”

also,,, i rlly wanna unveil myself now cuz getting to know u and become friends w u made me realize I CANNOT KEEP ANONING FOR U FOR A MONTH?!?!?! i wanna spam u with heeseung already 🥺but i will continue on, im just so excited!

mwah! have the best day!

-3

YESS PROTECTIVE CHARACTERS AND FANTASY >>> those type of characters are just immaculate (and whenever they got a deep voice like felix, it got me swinging my feet)

yeah bullying is the worst, i don’t know why ppl romanticize it 😟

LMAOOO ATP U CAN PRACTICALLY SEND ME A THREE PAGE ESSAY ABOUT JUNGWON AND I WOULDNT COMPLAIN AT ALL (he’s the best!!!) keeping my mouth shut about his duality can’t make any promises tho LOL he can look so baby yet so fineee, i wanna fight his parents for making him this cute and hot 🙈🙈

and the way i started giggling and screaming when i was mentioned 🤭 I ALREADY LOVE U FOR YOUU and yes whenever i will answer ur asks i will add won pics 😈😈

tbh u do u, u could literally unveil urself rn (or maybe not, who knows 🫢) i cannot wait for the amount of hee i’ll have in my inbox once u reveal urself. i’ll be honest i’ve been doing some detective work aka trying to find out who you are and i gave up 😭

anywayss have an amazing day/night!! hugs and kisses <33 🫶🫶

more wonnie pics 4 u <33

Okay but I really do need that slowburn enemies to lovers DinLuke AU because where else am I going to get

Din: Jedi (derogatory)

Din, 10 chapters + 3 near death scenes later: Jedi (affectionate)

BOYS GIRLS AND GENTS IM BACK ON THE UNDERTALE DANNY PHANTOM BULLSHIT AGAIN. I HAVE... HEADCANONS ON THE UNDERTALE PART.

im. im absolutely hyperfixating on undertale again someone send help

ON THE UPSIDE! RETURN OF THE LONG LOST AU, AND HAIL THE POST PACIFIST WORLDBUILDING (and ghostzone worldbuilding- while i may be obsessed with UT, my DP hyperfix is a slowburn on the backburner of my awesome stone and im just waiting for the right time for it. I AM ALWAYS READY TO WORLDBUILD.)

(especially if it ties the worlds together a bit more...)

For every ask or note this gets. I'll either write snippets for the au, OR more and more details and headcanons and snippets anyways because im in too deep to stop at simple headcanons

A (long) analysis of Azriel,

+ a bit of discussion about Gwynriel vs. Elriel at the end.

Lately I’ve seen much discussion surrounding Azriel, and there seems to be a lot of hazy gray area. We know he has a terrible past, carries a lot of trauma, is both mentally and physically scarred, and has disturbingly possessive habits. But why? That’s the question.

I think most of Azriel’s character can be filtered into three sections: his anger, his possessiveness, and his self-loathing. Altogether I believe these form his crippling sense of emotional immaturity, which ultimately shines through most every action he makes in the books.

So yes, I firmly believe Az is a child in the body of a 500 year old Fae. But is he treated as such? No. No, he is not. In fact, he’s treated as the exact opposite, and that can’t be doing wonders for his mental health (which is already in shambles. Off to a cheery start.)

Let’s take a look at his past. He was both mentally and physically abused for the majority of his childhood. Then he was thrown into an unforgiving culture that both mentally and physically abused him as well. Then he was essentially bullied by Cassian and Rhysand for quite a while... until they randomly decided to like him, which is a choice he didn’t seem to play a hand in. And then he became a professional torturer. All the while falling madly in love and becoming obsessed with a female who can’t love him back. Not to mention he’s been ostracized his entire life.

(One big thing though, that I’m going to reference frequently, is Azriel’s constant chase of “happiness.” Kind of like my friends with ADHD. We squeeze all the serotonin we can get out of one thing and then fall into a listless, depressed haze until we find another. I honestly think Azriel does the same thing with people--he latches onto them and lets his mood swings rely on how much attention they do or do not pay him, and whether it is positive or negative.)

So I’m going to go through his relationships with pivotal characters and try to explain what I think is really going on with Azriel.

Regarding Mor:

He was obsessed with her for most of his life. He was incredibly possessive of her and fell instantly in love upon seeing her. Do I think it was love? No. But does Azriel think it was love? Yes, and that is so important. It shows how desperate he was for human connection.

This “love” spiraled into centuries-long obsession that we’ve all seen play out throughout the series. But why is it obsession, and not love? Well, I’m going to go ahead and say that Azriel doesn’t know how to love. He’s never been shown genuine love and so he doesn’t know how to show it to others in the way he intends. He’s basically a baby.

But right after he falls head over heels, Mor sleeps with Cassian, and then Cassian plays the role of the buffer between the two of them all the way up until the events of ACOSF. This is where I think Azriel’s anger comes into play. He can’t get to Mor. His best friend, his brother, is blocking him from her. He can’t touch her, love her, feel her, and he’s so desperate to. But he literally has no way to communicate it because he doesn’t know how, and so he responds in the one way he’s able: anger. And jealousy. And intense protectiveness that eventually begins to translate as possessiveness.

Again, he lets his happiness rely on Mor because he can’t make himself happy, and so his lack of emotional maturity ends up revealing him as desperate and unable to communicate his feelings of inadequacy and frustration. I’m not trying to justify his behavior, not at all. But I think this could be a decent explanation.

Regarding Cassian and Rhysand:

I mean... I kind of hate the way these two have treated Azriel. They all have their fair share of trauma, but Cassian and Rhys also bullied him and ostracized him, and then basically said, “Oh, we like you now.” Which completely leaves Azriel in the dark as to where he stands with them, and strips him of awareness regarding how his friendships with them will operate.

And then he becomes the head of espionage for the Night Court, which involves lots and lots of torture. What kind of message does that send? You’ve seen dirty things, Az, so you don’t mind doing the rest of the dirty things for us, right? That’s the only real message I can get from this. Which then plants the message in Azriel’s head of: Not only do I do dirty things, I myself am a dirty, disgusting thing. Thus, furthering his already deep-seated sense of self-loathing.

Plus, the IC generally operates with a pack-like mindset. One person’s method of healing is everyone’s method of healing. It worked for one person, so it worked for everyone. It’s a very naive mindset, and very toxic as well, so it’s not surprising that literally everyone in the IC is colossally messed up despite preaching themselves as having overcome their demons.

So Azriel never really gets to understand himself and mature as a person. He’s stuck pretending to be perfectly fine underneath Rhysand’s oh-so-benevolent and compassionate hand. Rhysand and Cassian recognize Az as being a little... odd, by seeming to think things like “he’s the quiet one” and “he’s the serious, scary one.” But do they attempt to understand him? No. They leave him to his own devices and let him figure it out himself.

That’s the issue. He’s not ever going to figure it out himself, so long as he’s surrounded by the people who’ve been unwittingly suffocating him for most of his life.

Regarding Elain:

Azriel’s infatuation with Elain, in my opinion, comes as a direct result of his detachment from Mor. Just like one hyperfixation fades quickly from an all-consuming thing to a passing thought, Azriel has shifted from one obsession to the next, in order to keep his spirits on a high.

But I think his feelings for Elain reveal a lot of what Mor did not. Why does he view Elain as so holy compared to him? Why is he so hesitant to touch her? Why does he put her on such a pedestal? That’s his self-loathing coming through again. He hates himself so much that he has to place her above him.

He wants to touch her and love her, just as he did with Mor, but again he is unable. It's a repeating pattern that he can’t get himself out of.

Let’s also look at the way Elain and Azriel’s friendship/relationship began. He had to take care of her, and treat her with utmost respect. She looked at his scars or his siphons, both monstrous looking things, and called them beautiful. Let’s remember that he’s basically a child who’s rarely known genuine love. The minute he gets a glimpse of it, he’s going to grab it by the neck and crush it to his chest. Plus, the fact that she’s the last sister left unattached and he’s the last brother left unattached is probably even more convincing for him that he and Elain are meant for each other. When he’s denied this love that’s come nearly close enough to grab, he responds in the only way he’s able: anger. And jealousy. Just like he did with Mor.

But moving on, that glimpse of potential love comes from Elain. That’s why he’s able to let go of Mor; a relationship with Elain suddenly becomes possible. He’s terrified of ruining this potential love and is incredibly drawn to her all the same. Best of all? She wants him too.

BUT. Azriel knows how fragile Elain is, so he walks on glass around her, coddling her, putting her first like he’s put everyone else first since being a part of the IC. I think he wants to save her from becoming like him. He essentially plays the role of her white knight, entirely losing his sense of self-preservation (not that he ever had one), and thus loses any chance of letting Elain help him mature in return.

Regarding Gwyn:

Now, Gwyn is a different story.

We know Azriel likes her. Maybe not in a consciously romantic way, but he likes her. She makes him smile and laugh, and he finds her amusing. He doesn’t have to walk on eggshells around her.

The big thing, I think, is that he doesn’t have to take care of her. At least, I think that’s what makes him so comfortable around her. With Gwyn, he can relax, and he doesn’t have to watch every move he makes. She treats him like a regular person and he treats her similarly.

Now, is it a bad thing that he doesn’t put her on a saint-like pedestal like he does Elain? No. Definitely not. I think this ordinary friendship signals a much healthier relationship than his festering obsession with Elain. Gwyn simply being his friend and not someone that he feels he has to be perfect for is a good foundation for Azriel growing as a person.

Gwynriel vs. Elriel (the necklace):

Honestly, I’m scared for whatever SJM decides to do, because Azriel has a shitload of trauma to move past and years worth of emotional growth needed before he can be a steady partner in a relationship. Both Gwyn and Elain’s character arcs are definitely not finished and so I think that no matter which way his narrative goes, it’s going to be disappointing in some aspect or another, unfortunately. I don’t think that either one of the females’ arcs really fit well with Azriel’s.

But I’m going to take a closer look at the necklace, because I think it’s a telling narrative point.

For Azriel, the necklace for Elain and Gwyn herself, are both “thing[s] of secret, lovely beauty” to him.

By describing the necklace for Elain as such (instead of Elain herself), Azriel unconsciously reveals his more idealistic view of Elain rather than his love for Elain herself. I kind of get the sense of Azriel giving offerings to a goddess, or something like that. He seems to be more preoccupied with appeasing Elain than actually loving her.

Now, this probably comes from, again, his self-loathing and his emotional immaturity. I’m just repeating myself at this point. He doesn’t know how to love himself and he doesn’t know how to love anyone else.

But then he describes Gwyn as such. Gwyn, the person. In my opinion, this demonstrates a potentially much healthier relationship than what he has with Elain. Azriel, instead of wanting to be perfect for Gwyn and wanting to appease her, is simply made happy by the thought of her. It is Gwyn whom he is taken with, not the idea of Gwyn loving him. And so that takes off so much pressure for him, and introduces the hope that he might be able to mature as a person in a friendship or romantic relationship with Gwyn.

Closing thoughts:

Azriel is a blundering, hormonal child desperate for love with no idea of how to get it, in a 500 year old Fae’s body. He’s also surrounded by people who refuse to address his clear issues... his future’s pretty dim, and I think he realizes it. Which is why whoever SJM chooses to be his romantic interest is going to be very important.

In short, I’m scared for what’s to come. But fingers crossed that his incredibly complex character is done justice.

Entrapta deserved better

My posts are usually either detailed analysis or memes and shitposts.

I’ve re-watched the show and this will be an angry rant…  

With every viewing of the show, Entrapta’s arc makes me progressively angrier because I empathize with her so much.

She is introduced to the show as being a reclusive scientist, known throughout the Maker’s guild for her genius. Even her staff is weary of her. She spends all her time alone with her robot friends in her lab within her isolated castle.

The alliance interacts with her with the explicit purpose of recruiting her into their war effort. They want her for her ability to build weapons for them. That’s as deep as the relationship goes this far.

Entrapta has no stakes in the war, the Horde hadn’t attacked Dryl. She joins them because she wants to be their friend; she wants to help them in the only way she knows how, using her technological prowess to their benefit. Due to her isolation (and her being autistic), Entratpa struggles to understand interpersonal dynamics. Human interaction is a skill she has had little practical experience with. She understands the concepts, the rules of the game, so to speak, but she has seen it in play only as a third party rarely ever practicing it herself.

She’s invited to the Princess prom due to her princes status but she’s an outsider there too. No “friendly” princess seeks her out to hang out with her as a friend would. The only person who does so is Catra, and she does it for her own reasons…

With Glimmer abducted, the alliance mounts a half-baked rescue operation. Everything Entrapta did in this episode had a purpose, it looked like she kept getting distracted when in actuality, she was studying horde tech, rescuing Seahawk and furthering their mission and she had no time to explain herself (it also occurs to me that Entrapta might not explain herself because no one asked and no one ever understands her reasoning anyway) The princesses try to control her because she’s being “difficult”. They don’t care why she’s being difficult, they want her to conform.

Once they rescued Glimmer, they don’t even come back to check if Entrapta’s actually dead, or to get her remains and put them to rest respectfully. They allready have the princess they came for.  

Entrapta is all alone with her new robot friend Emily in the Frightzone vents, expecting that she’d get rescued because “no princess left behind” but rescue never actually comes.

Catra uses this new abandonment to convince her to switch sides. Entrapta didn’t jump ship because of her tech hyperfixation, she switched sides because Catra used her skill at pinpointing someone’s weak-spot and poking at it. 

Catra may not have been Shadow Weaver’s favorite ward (she was her scapegoat and punching bag, the poor girl) but she did learn from her and repeatedly put those skills to “good” use.

Once they find out she’s alive, the alliance wants to rescue her but she’s made new friends in the Horde and she think that they understand her fascination with science, friends that actually interact with her directly. She actually feels included here and as such, she’s not eager to return to the alliance’s side.

Entrapta befriends Catra and Scorpia but even in this trio, she is the third wheel. Catra is focused on herself, her ascension in The Horde and on her missing Adora. Scorpia is focused on Catra and on pinning for her.

Once Entrapta and Hordak start growing closer together, Catra stops talking to her. Perhaps she was hurt because Entrapta “broke her promise” to not go in Hordak’s sanctum, perhaps she was envious of her closeness to the Horde leader, or perhaps both, either way, the friendship is broken from Catra’s side. Entrapta still sees her as a friend and fights Hordak over the decision to send her to Beast Island. Despite his grouchiness, he considers her request and grants it.

As recompense for saving her life, Catra backstabs Entrapta when she tried to stop Catra from triggering a potentially world ending event and then sends her to the fate Entrapta saved her from: exile on Beast Island.

When faced with the choice between Catra and Entrapta, Scorpia choses Catra. Hordak is lied to so he doesn’t know to look for her, he believed she used him and is heartbroken about it.

You can actually pinpoint the moment his little heart breaks in this scene:

 Even so, he spends most of season 4 wanting to face her; he’d rather see her as an enemy than not see her at all.

After Catra proves herself a bad friend, (after months) Scorpia finally decides to rescue Entrapta and goes looking for help, deserting to the alliance. She has this little realization:

Adora is the only person that actually wants to go right away and rescue her. Bow wants to rescue her because they need her tech savvy and Glimmer says that they can rescue her after the war or something… (the Island she’s on is a death trap, she might not live that long for all they know)

she said this 

then this

She knows that this is a time sensitive issue but she wants to put it off  despite the urgency, if that doesn’t sound like friendship to you, then what does?  *sarcasm intensifies*

Contrast this with how the villain of the show reacted to the news of her being sent to Beast Island:

On Beast Island Bow gives her a longwinded speech about how she’s supposed to work harder at friendship. I know he’s projecting his own issues here but it still makes me so damn angry. Entrapta’s trying; she’s trying so hard, no one ever tries back! No one makes the effort to understand her (except that one clone but we’re not talking about him), she has to conform to their expectations, the reverse is never applicable.

Anyway, stuff happens and Glimmer is abducted again, by Horde Prime this time.

Then that whole “Lauch” episode happened. Entrapta is distrusted by the alliance more than Scorpia is. She is seen and cold and interested only in tech, she has to explain and redeem herself in their eyes after they treat her like rubbish. They don’t connect the fact that helping them with tech is how she shows her friendship. 

It’s the only thing she thinks she’s worth to them. She wants to be accepted by them so badly.

 Entrapta gets emotional over rescuing Glimmer! 

The person who when faced with the same prospect, said she’d do it later…

Even Catra’s apology to Entrapta for trying to kill her is a blank “I’m sorry”. Pls say what exactly you are sorry for Catra. Entrapta deserves that much. Bow received a better apology for far less of an offense.

All she ever does in the show is work towards furthering someone else’s goals, her own are always a second thought. As @cruelfeline​ pointed out, even a small scene with her discussing what happened with Hordak, her reaction to it and the gang focusing on Entrapta’s troubles for ONCE , even if it’s just offering her emotional support, would have meant so much.

Why is the show trying to tell me that Entrapta should work on being a better friend?

That's a terrible message!

She doesn't need to work harder on her friends, she NEEDS BETTER FRIENDS.

So many of us ND people end up being third wheels at best and we blame that on ourselves, we internalize the reasoning that our friendship fail because we’re weird and we’re not doing it right. That we’re the ones that have to try harder to be understood and that our concerns should come second.  That is a terrible thing to internalize, we are blaming ourselves constantly because we try to understand others and they never try to understand us back. 

With age, I’ve grown out of trying and being different so that other people would like me. They’d end up liking the mask I project, not me anyway. I’ve found people that understand me and that like me for who I am, but only after I’ve stopped trying to be “better” for others to accept me. With being honestly “weird” with those around me, I’ve been accepted far more than for trying to fit in. And I’ve realized that people that shun my otherness are not worth the effort to try and befriend in the first pace .

 That is what young autistics need to hear, not “git gud” at friendship.  You are not wrong, you are not defective or broken, you are you and you’re beautiful just the way you are. If other people don’t see that, then the failing is theirs. Don’t change, just look for people that see you.