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sortaotaku · 3 years

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Happy New Years! 🎉

Ikevam New Year’s Set Stories

2021 Super Awesome Set

I wanted to share because I understand the paywall is probably too much for a lot of people. It’s a pretty informal overview of the stories though~

Boys Talk - Team Abnormal

Shakespeare, Le Comte, Jean

Setting: Thermae

Le Comte asks why Shakespeare is looking gloomier than normal. Shakespeare says he feels a bit weird about a sarcastic comment Arthur made about the three of them (Shakespeare, Le Comte, Jean) being abnormal.

Le Comte: I guess he means we’re deviants. Idk where he got that from.

He comments that Shakespeare likes to tease people and wonders what to do with him.

Jean: You two are most definitely deviants

Them: Wha?

Le Comte calls his comment unnecessarily cruel. Shakespeare defends himself and says unlike Le Comte he’s a gentleman

Le Comte is like LOL I feel like you added an insult in there

Jean: It’s best you hear the truth bc you’re in denial. You’ve been buying <your name here/MC> dresses a lot. Are you sure it’s not just bc you like dressing her up?

Le Comte: What else am I supposed to do? She looks ravishing in everything. I’m not doing anything except sitting and watching in the dressing room.

Shakespeare: A grown man enjoying dressing up a girl like a doll sounds pretty deviant to me

Jean: Yep. He’s the most deviant one.

Le Comte: Judging from the content of your plays I think you’re worse than me.

Shakespeare: My writing isn’t necessarily representative of my desires

Jean comments about how Shakespeare has been inviting MC over to his villa a lot.

Le Comte comments that he quite likes Jeans fixation on MC and Jean tells him to shuddup.

Shakespeare also says he isn’t doing anything weird. He says he blindfolded and cuffed her for research purposes.

Jean: Hold on, I’ll come back with my sword.

Le Comte: Don’t run around the mansion naked and angry. Return to the water now.

Shakespeare states that Jean is upset by trivial matters. Basically “tough luck, that’s life”

Le Comte: Yeah, be more open-minded

Jean: I must destroy the world then

Shakespeare asks if he had any weird encounters and Le Comte says he’s basically been a recluse

Jean admits to giving MC a boost on his shoulders, but... He was shocked because her thighs were pressed against his cheeks and they were soft.

Shakespeare: How are you insult us when you had her pressing her thighs against your face? You’re the worst deviant one.

Le Comte is basically like LOL and Jean is kinda baffled.

End

Boys Talk - Battle Against Desires

Theo, Napoleon, Mozart

Setting: Thermae

Mozart calls the two of them sighing in sync annoying

They do it again and state they’re tired

Mozart comments that this is rare considering how adept they are at dealing with the more eccentric residents

They’re both like “That’s it!”

Napoleon is like that’s what everyone says. Everyone thinks I’m sensible

Theo: Yeah, I thought common sense is something everyone should have. We just look overly sensible because everyone lacks it.

Napoleon is like how about we just toss that (sense) out, I’m sick of it.

Theo: Yeah, I’m going to do whatever I want

Mozart: Hold on, if you do that you’ll lose sight of yourselves.

Mozart (Internally): They say it’s the most dangerous when people go off the rails. These two keep order. I must stop them.

Mozart adds that everyone didn’t start out selfish. He asks if they’re sure if something else isn’t making them this way.

Napoleon says its a problem that MC sees them as so sensible.

Mozart is like: 🤨 Why?

Napoleon says that everything is wrong. She lies around in the common area asleep and apparently sleep undresses. (Half way, that is)

Mozart: Yea sounds about right... Wait what? Don’t tell me you...

Napoleon: Obviously I buttoned her up and tucker her in so she wouldn’t catch a cold.

Mozart: Are you her mom?

Theo: I get that! I would do that too.

Napoleon: Theo~ 🥰

Mozart: Can you guys not hug in the bath? Anyways what about Theo?

Theo: I went in for a bath and MC was in there stark naked bc she mixed up the time.

Mozart: Yea, she’s ditzy sometimes. Don’t tell me you...

Theo: Obviously I simultaneously tossed her my own towel and quickly turned around.

Mozart: Are you her dad?

Napoleon: I get that! I would do that too.

Napoleon~ ❤️❤️❤️

Mozart: Stahp hugging in the bath... So you’re saying you don’t feel free to express your desires bc you’re seen as too sensible?

Them: Yea

Mozart: That’s easy to fix. Just act on your desires. It’s important to be true to your feelings. I just do what I want.

Napoleon: Easier said than done. Women find it even more frightening when a “safe” man comes onto them more than normal men. They feel violation AND disappointment because of the breaking of expectations.

Theo: And you’ll lose trust that you cannot recover.

Mozart: That sounds oddly convincing from you two.

They sigh heavily again. Mozart smiles a bit and comments that he must warn MC to be careful from now on and encourages them to cheer up.

End

Boys Talk - Imagination Station

Dazai, Arthur, Isaac

Setting: Thermae

Dazai talks about how great a bath after a good drink is. Arthur agrees and asks Isaac what he thinks. (Note: Don’t go into a huge hot bath while drunk)

Isaac: STAHP TOUCHING ME YOU TWO! Why did you guys insist we bathe together?

Dazai: It’s a good way to get to know each other.

Arthur: Yep, we know each other well but there are no limits on luvbbb ❤️

Isaac: If this is your love I have some doubts...

Arthur + Dazai: Lalalala~~~ 🎶

Arthur: Isn’t it funny how alcohol loosens inhibitions? I’d love to get naughty with MC

Isaac: Don’t you dare touch her!

Dazai: I find it questionable too.

Isaac: Dazai?

Dazai: Women get uncomfortable with sudden moves. You haveta do “that”

Isaac: huh?

Them: I-mAg-I-nA-tIoN!

Isaac: 🤨huh???

Arthur: Lemme explain. We’re writers. We think up scenarios for a living.

Isaac: ?

Arthur: GOSH. We can do anything we want. In our minds. In vivid detail.

Dazai: Ai-kun is confused still, we must invite him into our minds

Arthur: Good idea! Naughty story time!

Isaac: Hold on—

Arthur and Dazai cook up an Isaac x MC smut headcanon in which Dazai still calls her “Toshiko”

Isaac didn’t even notice at first and commented that it makes sense Mc was drowsy because she’s a hard worker. He gets embarrassed when he figures out and the other two are like LOLLL 😂😂😂, we love your reactions!

Isaac: You’re saying you spend your days thinking about lewd stories of MC?

Them: No.

Arthur: We could imagine but the real thing is a whole different thing.

Dazai: The real thing trumps fantasy.

Isaac: So you were trolling me?

Them: Yes.

Isaac: You’re the worst!

Them: Rofl

End

Boys Talk - A Steamy Nighttime

Leonardo, Vincent, Sebastian

Setting: Thermae

Leonardo: A bath sure is nice!

The other two: ...

Leonardo: Why so quiet?

Vincent: I don’t think MC registers me and Sebastian as men. (Correct. You are indeed an angel and not a mortal man)

Leonardo: Why?

Vincent recalls how he was sunbathing with MC and she commented how he was comforting like a little brother

Leonardo: Pride must’ve been hurt by that. Sebas?

Sebastian: Similar. She said I was like her dad.

Leonardo: Dad-zoned, huh (*This isn’t my own abridging of the story, he actually said that) It’s not as bad as you think. Its proof MC is comfortable, that’s important.

Vincent and Sebastian says that : They want to be seen and treated as reliable men

Leonardo (internally): I’m pretty sure she sees them as men though. If I’m too serious about this, they’ll try too hard. The best thing is to make them laugh

Leonardo: You must get comfortable around women. If you get too self conscious things get weird right?

Sebastian: I see. How?

Leonardo: Prof Leonardo shall teach you. This is classified so don’t share

Them: We Promise.

Leonardo: Did you know a women’s breast is as soft as the inside of their arms. Start there with the inner arm

Vincent: Brilliant. What do we say after

Sebastian: Practice on me master Vincent

Vincent: Your arm is hard

Sebastian: I’m actually swole. (He says quite muscular)

Leonardo: You weren’t supposed to take this seriously

Vincent: Will you give more tips? I wanna get closer to MC

Sebastian: Please teach us professor Leonardo

Leonardo (internally): I didn’t expect this... They’re so pure. I can’t let them down.

Leonardo: When someone licks their lips it means they want you to kiss them, so watch out.

Vincent: You’re a genius! Arthur does that all the time! But I won’t do that since it will startle MC if I suddenly kiss her.

Sebastian: Start with the forehead/cheek

Vincent: Anything else?

Leonardo: Playing with hair = Wants affection

Sebastian: Isaac does that a lot, but he DOES crave affection. I gotta watch out for that.

Leonardo: Listen. I didn’t expect this...

Them: Teach us more!

Leonardo: 😓

End

A/N

Sorry it’s late. Distracted my Animal Crossing. You can find 2020’s set in my previous post or under the “2020 New Years Set” tag.

#cybird #ikemen vampire #ikevam #2021 new years set

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grilledcheeseandguavajelly · 4 years

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EPISODE FOUR THOUGHTS (spoilers ahead):

MIDLRED SAID AGAIN. She said she wouldn’t do it with Edmund AGAIN. SEND HELP THIS SHOW IS SO FUCKED UP WHAT IS HAPPENING

MY POOR BABY GWENDOLYN

Let me be EXPLICITLY CLEAR: Mildred Ratched in ThatRobe™️ saying “Oh, baby...” and “Take it back. Take back that I’m the worst lay of your life” has absolutely ended me and I will be in a shack in the woods crying until I recover.

Gwendolyn listening against the door??? AND THEN GWENDOLYN PINNING MILDRED AGAINST THE OTHER DOOR????? The sound that came out of me was UNREAL.

THE SHOT OF GWENDOLYN’S FOOT TAPPING AGAINST THE BEDFRAME OH DEAR LORD ALMIGHTY

The tension and pressure and STAKES in this episode alone were enough to make me pass out, I don’t know how I can handle four more episodes, my heart is pounding out of my CHEST SO MUCH IS HAPPENING. THAT WHOLE SCENE IN THE HOSPITAL AT NIGHT???? I DONT THINK I TOOK A BREATH FOR FIVE MINUTES IT WAS JUST GARBLED “OH GOD OH NO OH MILDRED OH FUCK” ON REPEAT

Welp. I’ll tell you what, never tell Mildred Ratched she was the worst lay of your life my GOD—

Did I cry when Mildred sent the lesbians away and said “I do understand”? Yes. Was it ugly? Disgusting. Am I ashamed? NOT ONE BIT.

THE LOOK. ON HER FACE. WHEN HUCK CALLS HER AN ANGEL OF MERCY— and then that flashback— let me just say that every war flashback has been exactly what I envisioned in my head practically shot for shot, so god bless these creators

God these thoughts are getting more and more unintelligible as this goes and I’m honestly so exhausted but HERE WE GO EPISODE FIVE

EDIT: oh GOD HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTON TO MENTION THE CAR SCENE WHAT?! I WAITED TWO YEARS FOR THIS AND IT WAS EVERYTHING. Mildred just asked her top out for a date and if that ain’t the cutest thing I’ve EVER SEEN. Because she was worried about her because Gwendolyn is sensitive STAHP IT 😩

#ratched #ratched spoilers #sarah paulson #mildred ratched #nurse ratched #ratched netflix #ratched 2020 #gwendolyn briggs #mildred x gwendolyn #rigged #gwendred

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lihikainanea · 4 years

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oh everytime you answer an ask and write I literally just have to take a Moment™ to recover and digest the beauty and magic and FEELINGS it gives me right after!! it's the same warm, happy process of this and [swoon] it's awesome, really great sending hugs and positivity to you, darling!! MWA

STAHP this nonsense I am smol and fussy and fragile tonight and you make me soff.

For the record, all of you give me that feeling with your asks. So many of them just have me sitting here in my little cocoon of a bathrobe, heart-eyed, squeeing in mushy delight. These two idiots--they’d be nothing without all of you. Never in a million years could I have dreamed up even just half the trouble that you get them into <3

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hermionesterrier · 6 years

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More Than Human: Chapter 8 Liveblog!

“With the Girl at the Rock Show” *wink* *wink*

The change in the Blues' dynamic -in Boomer- is adorable and surreal and definitely healthier. Before this point, Boomer's obsession made me uncomfortable and now that he's so taken aback that she likes him back and she’s the one actually making the moves, he's so thrown off and nervous and falling so hard and just....KIDS *_*

Mrs. Morbucks = HBIC

I'm still not sure exactly what she does though....? Are we ever gonna find out?

Damn. So why aren't JS's clients looking for other Evil Corps to get their dirty work done?

Buttercup's blankie is making a guest appearance!! Bubbles, don't you dare hurt blankie!!

I feel like the girls' boyfriends would always come out scarred for life after a "conversation" with the Professor. Who knows what he does to those poor souls in his lab xD

Why do you want her to acknowledge your existence so badly, Brick, hmmm?

Hold on. Is that the same Julie from that messed family on the show? Or am I confusing Julies?

He glared at her. "You know, generally? You ask permission before doing that." "Generally you ask permission before letting a giant black spike of death stab a pretty girl in the heart, too," she responded. Daaaaamn, shots fired!

OH MY GOD THE LUNCH SCENE! ONE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITES!! I'm gonna try not quote all of it xD

"You are setting a terrible example as a Senior." "I set a terrible example as a person," Butch corrected. I mean...no arguments there.

Ok, I really don't remember this Julie Bean from the show...

"I wouldn't solicit advice from someone who tried to sacrifice my sister in a dire situation." "That was an act of heroism!" he snapped. "Except it was going after you," Bubbles pointed out. "So it was less heroic and more cowardly," Buttercup said. "Say that a little louder, Buttercup," Brick seethed, his eyes glowing red. "I didn't quite catch that." Unperturbed, Buttercup looked him right in the eye and enunciated, "You're. A. Pussy." DAMN STRAIGHT!

"Speaking of fucking," Butch moaned. "This food? Is like an orgasm in my mouth."

I wanna taste Buttercup's food :'(

Even Brick's in love hahahahahaha

Did someone say Tabouli? *_* GIMME!

Poor Julie, she's so confused AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ugh, get over yourself Brick. You're like a 5 year old throwing a temper tantrum because he's being ignored. And you did nothing to Bubbles? Really?

"I wish I'd been around to see that," he said, and meant it. He really did. He wished he hadn't been such a stupid little kid. He could've played with her, and they could've grown up friends instead of enemies, and he might've felt this sooner, this easing of an unbearable weight in his heart every time she looked at him, touched him, kissed him. This makes my heart ache. Blues are killing meeeeeee

Brick thinking he's so mature but actually being a complete baby tho AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Eww Butch stahp

THE PROFESSOR WATCHING ALL THE MALES LIKE A HAWK OMG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ugh Brick is so stupid I can't even...JUST ADMIT YOU WANTED TO SEE HER DANCE YOU IDIOT

"Butch, boobies," Bubbles said simply, and Butch suddenly shot to. "Where?" he said, eyes frantically darting around. Well that was easy xD

The Blues just standing there hugging tho xD

Bubbles wrapped her arm around Boomer's and beamed at him. "Come on," she said sweetly, encouragingly. Then she looked at Brick. A sudden chill shuddered through him at the sight of her expression, and before he could process it they were already gone. He couldn't even recall exactly what she had looked like as the door shut; it had happened so quickly and caught him so off guard. Bubbles may or may not be possessed but she definitely scares the shit out of Brick :')

That disappointment when you wanna see someone so bad and they're nowhere in sight. I feel ya, Blossom. Let me hug you.

Bubbles is such a little Reds shipper :D

Even I'm overwhelmed by how corny this is.

BUTTERCUP IS SINGING!!!!!

Boomer is outright challenging her. Show that bitch who’s boss, Buttercup!

The more comfortable she grew on stage, the more uncomfortable Butch grew watching her. Bubbles asked, "Butch? What's wrong?" "Great," he said, his voice flat. "She sounds great."

This Buttercup/Mitch conversation is fucking painful. All the would'ves and could'ves....

"I was talking with Mitch earlier," she said quietly, and Butch abruptly decided he'd never really liked Mitch anyway. CAN WE JUST TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE THAT THAT IS ALL IT TOOK FOR HIM TO DECIDE THAT? BUTTERCUP LOOKING SO SAD AND MITCH IS DONE FOR HIM

Butch struggling so hard to understand human emotion though...

"You've never really wanted to be with someone, have you, Butch?" she said, a small, bitter laugh curling around her words. Foreshadowing? :')

I cannot with the Greens. This rooftop scene is KILLING ME I’M GONNA CRY GIVE ME MY OTP PLZ SBJ PLZZZZZ

PERIOD DRESSES AND WHITE WIGS THIS IS ACTUALLY GOLDEN OMG AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh my god these costumes...whyyyyyy

It's interesting how well Brick is getting along with Buttercup and Bubbles. Like friends. Buttercup keeps talking to him and sharing her misery with him, while Bubbles just naturally gets along with everyone and everything. He's even acting like a normal person with Julie! And annoying Blossom, as usual hehehe

I wanna see what Bubbles is working on.

Buttercup jumping at the chance to embarrass Blossom with THAT STORY is what sisters are really for, isn't it?

I really wanna take hip hop classes

Mrs. Morbucks being a sly HBIC :D

Awww @ Blossom feeling pretty. You're beautiful all the time ❤

I hate this next part for her...

“Looks, brains, talent," Buttercup said, nodding. Her eyes glazed over. "Plus a chest that you want to... throw rocks at just so you can watch them bounce off." Bubbles shot her sister a look. "Buttercup, you... you're kinda weird." BUT THAT'S THE BEST THING ABOUT HER AHAHAHAHAHA

Fucking pedophile assholes leave Blossom the fuck alone how fucking dare you :(

Buttercup would kick (even more) ass being Evil...I think there was a comic or something where she lost her memories and joined the dark side?

All these ep references are making me want a PPG rewatch *_*

Brick wants to cheer her up so bad it's so...uncharacteristic and heartwarming

The AB virus...the only villainous thing the Amoeba Boys ever managed to do...unintentionally xD

BLOSSOM BEING A KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR LITERALLY SWEEPING BRICK OFF HIS FEET I LOVE ITTTT

I think I just fainted," Brick said feebly, eyes shut and breath once again warm and sick against her neck. "In front of everybody." "You crumpled to the floor in a very dignified manner," Blossom assured him. He pressed his head a little closer into her, almost a nuzzle. "So long as it was a manly faint." "Oh, I don't think it could've gotten more manly than that," she said, and turned to the silent room again once she reached his door. Everyone's eyes were still on the two of them. "At ease, men," she said dryly, and pushed into his room. MANLY FAINT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

H O W did the girls not throw the sharpest object they could find at Butch? I totally would've. Not even exaggerating.

Way to ruin the moment, Brick.

UGH Blues being THAT couple

Someone learned his lesson and is actually accepting help :D

This is probably one of the most insightful conversations about Butch's psyche. His "jealousy" doesn't stem from the fact that it's Blossom, it stems from the fact that it's BRICK. It's not like he has problems getting girls, but, in his eyes, Brick gets everything and then some with no effort....can see why he thinks so. But then again, Brick's still a temperamental man-child with below zero social skills, so I guess you win some you lose some right?

Buttercup's right though. Butch likes bleeding for things. If he got the same things Brick does while also putting zero effort in it then he wouldn't want it anyway.

SHE'LL BE WAITING OKAY

Hmmm I wonder why Brick is taking so long to recover even though both his brothers were only sick for 1 day...does he have a lower immunity system? Or is it the pretty redhead taking care of him during this difficult time? :')

Boomer's deal with the Devil and how confused he is by Bubbles' horrified reaction...

There's something so incredibly sad and heartbreaking about Boomer's storyline here. When will Him come to collect, but more importantly, what will he be collecting...?

Mitch's grandmother tho...very Norman Bates-y xD

Not that into each other, Mitch? I call bullshit!

MOJO JOJO!!!!!

Awww, same, Bubbles I missed him too hahahaha

Mojo so offended and schooling Buttercup for her cussing tho xD

CLIFFHANGER DUN DUN DUNNN!!!

I really did try not to quote the whole entire chapter. I failed. Obviously xD

Click here for more quotable fic!

#sbj more than human #jess reads mth #my longest liveblog yet

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maevefiction · 6 years

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Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 6

I had said goodnight and closed the door on a still speechless Tom, then slid down the back of it and hit the floor with a gentle thud. I sat there like a rag doll, arms hanging loose at my sides, chin resting on my chest as my synapses fired like a fourth of July fireworks show gone awry. I felt like one of the Synths from HUMANS when their code went bad.

Half an hour went by before the world began to come into focus again, and I slowly began to take the vast amount of shit that required my attention into consideration. I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands.

“Am I insane? How the hell am I going to tie up all my loose ends and do two seminars in two days? What the fuck was I thinking?!?” My phone buzzed. I pulled it out of my bag…it was Tom. Right. That’s what I’d been thinking. I tapped the answer button.

“What can I do to you, Thomas?” I slapped my hand to my forehead when I realized what I’d said. Nothing like a classic Freudian slip to start off our very first phone conversation.

There was a moment of silence, then a sharp intake of breath that was deliciously tantalizing…which I desperately tried to ignore as I scrambled to recover.

“Whoops. Perhaps I should rephrase that. What can I do FOR you, Thomas?”

“I…I…” He cleared his throat. “Christ, Maude, are you trying to kill me? It took me all this time to cease picturing you strutting naked through your suite and regain enough of my composure to hit the call button.”

I grunted out a hmpf. “If it’s any consolation, I’m still sitting with my back against the room door. Because that happens to be where I landed when I slid down it after closing it in your face. Now my legs are asleep and I’m not quite sure how I’m going to get up.”

“Serves you right, you wicked temptress.” He laughed, then paused. “I know you’re ridiculously busy, but I…well, I suppose I just wanted to hear your voice again so I could reassure myself that this unimaginably marvelous day actually happened and I didn’t dream it all.”

I groaned. “Really, Hiddleston? How the fuck I am I supposed to top that? Anything I could conjure up would pale in comparison, so I’ll simply state that I understand and concur.”

“Good. Now, shall I pay you a visit and help you attain a more desirable position?” I didn’t need to see his face to know he was smirking.

“Thomas. Stahp. I have no time for a cold shower break.” He laughed.

“I guess that makes us even, then. I’ll let you get back to work. Goodnight, Maude.”

“Goodnight, Tom. And if you find you need something to keep you occupied, feel free to make me a list of at least five websites you like the looks of. Don’t forget to include exactly what you like and why you like it.”

He huffed. “Did you just assign me homework? Because it sounds very much like you assigned me homework.”

“Let’s call it project participation instead. Better?”

“Marginally.” He paused for a few seconds. “May I call you tomorrow after your seminar?”

“I’d be rather pissed if you didn’t.”

“And I’d be terribly disappointed if you weren’t. Goodnight again, Maude. Try and get some rest.”

“You too. Goodnight again, Tom.”

I hit end call and began the arduous process of hefting myself off the floor. It was even worse than I anticipated, and I was reasonably sure I bore a strong resemblance to a newborn calf standing up for the first time. Once I felt steady enough, I pulled my dress over my head, yanked off my bra and grabbed a T-shirt off the floor. I sniffed it…not bad. I slipped it on, grabbed my messenger bag and plopped down at the desk.

*************************************************** My first mission was to find a videographer willing to work on extremely short notice. I’d decided to have these last two seminars recorded, hoping one or an edited combination of both would be good enough to post on my website for sale. Consulting was out of the question, but there was no reason to not make some residual cash after so many years of perfecting my lectures. Plus, it alleviated the bit of apprehension I felt at pulling the plug on everything in the blink of an eye. I found one that was open until 11 PM and had experience with marketing production - Kamana Media. I dialed the contact number, fingers crossed.

The rep seemed very excited when I told him what I wanted, but balked when I casually mentioned that I needed it done tomorrow and Wednesday. It took some seriously high levels of Maude-schmooze and tripling their normal rate, but they’d be at the hotel tomorrow morning at 9 AM.

Next came editing my presentations to remove all references to consultations, followed by a search for a shopping cart that worked with both my merchant account and design software. Then came my favorite part…getting the cart customized, adding items, and figuring out how to embed the code to my site files so it would display exactly the way I wanted. The next time I looked up, it was 1 AM and I still had some text modifications to complete, in addition to a ‘hey, so sorry, but I’m outta here’ letter to post on the site and across all my social media accounts. My phone vibrated, dancing its way nearly out of my reach. I picked it up, hoping it wasn’t a last minute kiss off text from the Kamana people, though they closed two hours prior.

Went out for a night walk and noticed that your lights are on. You can’t possibly still be awake at this hour, can you? –T

I’m not sure awake is an accurate representation of my state of consciousness, but I am not currently sleeping, so…technically, yeah. –M

I waited for his reply for a few minutes, but nothing came through. Figuring he might have gotten a call or had fallen asleep, I set the phone back on the table and returned to work. The text changes were easy, but then I realized the menus needed to be adjusted to remove several links. My ability to focus was fading fast, so I cranked up the volume on my iPod, hoping it would give me enough of a boost to power through. I ignored my mother’s voice in my head saying ‘Turn that down, young lady. Do you want to end up deaf? Everyone will think I’m a terrible mother!’ Junkie XL’s ‘Beauty Never Fades’ came on and I sighed happily…exactly what I needed. I put it on repeat.

The third time through I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye…my phone was doing the jig again. I paused the song and nabbed it just as it started to go over the edge of the desk. There were six texts, all from Tom.

“Damn.” I frowned and began to scroll through them.

I’m out in the hallway with a little surprise for you. Hope that’s okay. –T

Hmm, you aren’t answering your door. –T

Does that mean it’s NOT okay? – T

Still knocking. Can’t be too loud, don’t want to wake the neighbors. –T

Hope you’re alright in there. Starting to fret a bit. Ease my mind and reply, please. –T

Maude, I know you’re in there, I can hear you singing. –T

The phone vibrated in my hand as I yanked out my earbuds, got up, and headed for the door. I undid the bolt and flung it open to find Tom in a white V-neck and navy shorts with an orange-red stripe, pacing and staring at his phone. He raised his head, exhaling seemingly with relief when he saw me. I spotted a carryout tray with two cups in it on the floor, as well as what appeared to be a bag of Lindor truffles. When I lifted my head to meet his gaze and instead caught him in the act of looking me up and down, I suddenly remembered that I was clad only in a thin T-shirt and panties. His eyes finally met mine again, lips parted just enough for his tongue to slip out and graze over them. I began fanning myself with my hand.

“Is it me or is it ridiculously warm tonight?” He said not a word, continuing staring at me with an intensity that made me want to push him down and ride him like a pony right there in the hallway.

“Yeah. Anyway. I had my iPod turned way up so I wouldn’t fall asleep at the wheel, as they say, and totally didn’t hear you knocking. And my phone was on vibrate too. Not that I would have heard it ring if it wasn’t. So. Really, really sorry about that.” I pointed to the truffles. “Please tell me that those are for me. And that the beverages are caffeinated.”

He shook his head as if to clear it and smiled as he put his phone in his pocket, then bent over to pick up the carryout tray. He took two steps towards the door. “Yes, and yes. But I’m afraid you can’t have them unless you invite me in.”

I snorted, stepping back to hold the door for him. “I’d invite Freddy Kruger in if he had Lindor Truffles and caffeine.” He didn’t move. “What? Damn you British and your impeccable manners. Thomas, would you care to enter my temporary domicile?”

He grinned. “Why yes, I thought you’d never ask.” I stuck my tongue out at him.

“You’d best get in here before I snatch that tray out of your hands and slam the door in your face.” He chuckled. I poked him in the chest. “I wasn’t joking.”

He patted my upper arm. “Oh, I’m aware. That’s why it’s funny.” He set the tray on the desk. “You have quite a lovely singing voice, by the way. Have you had any vocal training?”

“Thanks. And no, unless you count the band I was in a thousand years ago when I was young and didn’t know any better. Or when I’m driving. Or working. Or in the grocery store.” I rolled my eyes. “Or everyone’s favorite, when I think of the perfect song for the moment and belt it out no matter the location or company.”

He was leaning on the desk, legs and arms crossed, head tilted. “Do you like to dance, Maude?”

“No, I don’t like to dance.” I watched his face fall a bit. Such an easy mark. “I love to dance. Sometimes I even dance and sing at the same time. It all depends upon how the spirit moves me. Right now it’s moving me towards those truffles, though. Will you do the honors and open them, please?”

I put my phone on the table, walked over to the wardrobe, pulled a pair of cut-off sweatpants out of the drawer and slipped them on. Tom grabbed one of the oversized wing back chairs and dragged it over to the desk for himself. I sat back down in my spot, pulled the earbud jack out of the iPod, put it into shuffle mode and lowered the volume from ‘dance club’ to ‘study session’. He proffered the bag and I took a handful of truffles. I unwrapped one and popped it in my mouth.

“Ung. These are SO good.” I swallowed. “How did you manage to score these at one in the morning?”

“I’ll have you know that they are from my own personal stash. Which I normally never share. With anyone. But, being that you were generous enough to share your cookies with me earlier, I felt it was only fair to reciprocate in kind.” I nodded.

“Let’s not forget about the baked mozzarella, the parmesan fries and the fettucine alfredo I ‘shared’. Totally against my will.” I devoured two more tiny balls of chocolatey goodness. “So, you travel with candy. I would have accepted Luke’s offer immediately and without question if I’d known that.”

He laughed and handed me one of the to-go cups. “Earl Grey tea with a splash of cream. I figured you’d take it with sugar but wasn’t sure how much, so I brought these.”

He pulled a handful of sugar packets out of his pocket and put them on the desk. I took the lid off and took five sugars from the pile. They were warm to the touch, and knowing they had just been so close to his skin made me a little lightheaded. Or maybe it was just lack of sleep. Sure, Maude, keep telling yourself that. I shook my head.

“Damn, did I get that wrong? Luke said you asked for tea earlier so I assumed…” I cut him off.

“Nope, I’m a tea all the way. Coffee makes me ragey for some reason. Let me guess, you travel with teabags too?” He grinned.

“Indeed I do. I got the cups, tray and hot water from the all-night gas station down the road.”

I furrowed my brow. “So you did all this in, like, 15 minutes?” He held his hands out and shrugged, blushing slightly.

“Actually, I stopped at the gas station on the night walk I mentioned when we were texting.” I put the lid back on my tea and swirled it around to mix in the sugar. He pulled a plastic stirrer out of his other pocket and handed it to me, sighing as he realized I’d most likely have guessed that this encounter wasn’t at all spontaneous after hearing what he’d just said. He smiled self-consciously.

I reached out to put a hand on his knee, but he had begun sliding out of the chair towards the desk so he could grab his beverage and it wound up on his bare inner thigh instead. I could feel the muscle tighten under my hand, his hips thrusting upward reflexively in spite of his valiant effort to resist. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, opening them when I felt his hand on top of mine through his shorts. His jaw was clenched, nostrils flaring as he tried to control his breathing. My pulse was pounding in my ears and in my head and in my chest…and, most noticeably, in my groin. We exhaled in unison. He spoke first, taking my free hand in his.

“Maude, I…I am so, so sorry…I didn’t…” I shook my head vehemently.

“Thomas. Please. Don’t you dare apologize for what was perhaps the most sexually exciting moment of my life.” I bit my lip again, leaned in closer and raised an eyebrow. “So far.” He began rubbing my wrist with this thumb, his face a kaleidoscope of emotions.

“You…you’re…you aren’t offended?” He looked puzzled.

“By the fact that just putting my hand on your thigh earned me a pelvic thrust? Um, no. Nope. Not even a little.” I squeezed his hand. “Why would you think I’d be offended by a physical expression of something we’ve been bantering back and forth about for hours? And let’s not forget that you’ve literally seen me naked already.”

He shook his head. “I’m…I…damn. That’s not really what I meant. I was more referring to the idea that I’d arrived with tea and truffles not to spend time with you, but instead as a ruse to get you into bed. I didn’t. Honestly. I just don’t want you to think less of me, or that I don’t respect you, or that this is how I conduct myself with women I’ve just met, despite what most of the world seems to believe, and most importantly I absolutely don’t want you to conclude that I think you’re just another notch on my belt and that all I want from you is sex because that couldn’t be further from the truth …god, I’m fucking this up royally, aren’t I?” His chin fell to his chest.

I let go of his hand so I could touch his face. “You most certainly are not.”

We were both silent for what seemed like an eternity, La Roux’s “Tigerlily’ playing softly in the background.

“I could be here when you call I’ll make you top of the list And in the crush of the dark I’ll be your light in the mist I can see you burning with desire for a kiss Psychobabble all upon your lips”

He slowly raised his head as the chorus repeated, wrapping his fingers around my wrist and holding my hand to his face. I’d heard the song a hundred times, and sung it nearly as many, but suddenly the lyrics held meaning I could have never envisioned. The look in his eyes told me they resonated with him as well.

I slid the hand that was still on his thigh out from under his shorts and got up from my chair, closing the space between us in a single step. He looked up at me, eyes wide, as I climbed into his lap and straddled him. I felt his arm wrap around my waist as I leaned in and touched my lips to his. They were warm, and soft, and I couldn’t resist running my tongue across them. He opened his mouth to me in invitation, and I accepted with boundless enthusiasm. He tasted of chocolate, with a faint hint of something spicy I didn’t recognize. He bit my bottom lip before thrusting his tongue out to meet mine, and I seized the moment to capture and begin sucking on it. He groaned loudly and yanked the tie from my hair, freeing it so he could bury his fingers in my curls. Time seemed to have come to a screeching halt as we devoured each other, completely lost in the moment, until our teeth crashed together with such force that it made my ears ring and brought us back to reality.

I was panting like I’d run a six minute mile. “Shit. You okay?”

His chest heaved as he grinned. “I am positively divine, thank you.” I responded by grinding my pelvis against him, then pushed myself up and off his lap. “Maaauuuuuuddde. Where. Are. You. Going.”

I shimmied out of my sweat-shorts and returned to my spot, grinding against him again. “Mmm, that’s much better.” I dragged my hand down his chest and stomach, smirking as I slipped it under the hem of his V-neck. “May I?”

He leaned forward and lifted his arms over his head. I peeled it off slowly, drinking in the sight of his naked torso. Tossing the shirt to the side, I leaned in and licked the hollow above his collarbone. He gasped, and I traversed to his left nipple, first biting it gently, then suckling. His long, low moan was intoxicating, making me dizzy with want. I felt the warmth of his hand on the skin of my back as he pushed my T-shirt upward. I pulled back and raised my arms above my head before he even had a chance to ask for permission. He laughed.

“Eager, are we?” His voice was deeper than usual, throaty and full of ardor.

“You have no idea.” I was blinded momentarily as he finished removing my shirt. When my view was once again unobstructed, the intensity in his stare as he gazed from my breasts to my face then back again made me wonder if spontaneous combustion was in my near future. He let out a low whistle.

“Oh, but I believe I do, Maude. I believe I do.” He took one in each hand, running a thumb over each already rock hard nipple, then pulled me forward to take one in his mouth. It was my turn to gasp, and I wound my fingers in his hair, holding him to me. He alternated from one to the other, and I felt his hand creep down my stomach, finally reaching my mound and cupping it gently. My panties were soaked through. He let my nipple go with a pop and looked up at me, eyes dark and pupils blown wide with desire.

“My apologies, you were, in fact, correct…I had no idea.” He slid his hand under the elastic waistband, whining audibly when it met skin that was waxed bare and dripping wet. He tugged at the fabric, unable to utter anything other than “Off. Please.”

I stood, pushing them down over my legs, then kicked them off. I paused for a moment to take him in, my eyes resting on the bulge tenting his shorts that made it glaringly obvious he had opted for going commando this evening. I stepped between his legs, leaning down to slip my hands under his shorts at the waist. I hesitated, knowing we were near the point of no return but hadn’t covered all our bases. I looked up at him.

“So. Tests?” It took him a moment to piece together what I was getting at.

“Yes. Last year. Clean. No one since. You?”

“2010. Clean. No one since. On the pill.” His eyes widened in surprise and I didn’t wait for him to comment. “Yes, five years. I’m very…particular.” I grabbed onto his waistband and pulled with one hand, tapping his hip with the other. “Lift.”

He raised his hips up and I eased the shorts over his erection, then slipped them off his ass and down his legs. He smiled as I licked my lips, then grunted as I took him in hand. At least eight inches of glorious purpose, and almost too thick for me to get my fingers around. I leaned in to whisper in his ear as I stroked up and down, squeezing, pausing now and again to run my thumb over his weeping slit.

“It’s no wonder Loki thinks he deserves a throne. THIS is the cock of a king.” He growled, a sound so low and deep that I could actually see his chest vibrating, and began to lift himself up off the chair.

I let go of his cock and put both hands on his shoulders, pushing him firmly back into a seated position as I nestled my knees on either side of his hips. He raised his brows quizzically, eyes narrowed.

“No bed?” I shook my head. He looked down at himself, then back at me, concerned. It finally dawned on me what he was getting at, and I supposed that his size might be a challenge for some women if they weren’t sufficiently aroused. I shook my head again and rubbed my soaked pussy up and down his shaft, groaning as the tip hit my clit over and over.

“Nope.” Groan. “I’m good.” He reached between us, sliding two long fingers inside me. I came instantly, and the look on his face was priceless.

“Di..I…did you…did you just…” I rolled my hips and squeezed his fingers, grasping his face with both hands as I leaned in to pull his bottom lip into my mouth briefly. He moaned as he withdrew his fingers and brought them to my lips. I licked at them, then sucked them clean greedily. I felt him shudder as I rose up on my knees. He breathed deeply, inhaling and exhaling for a few moments as he tried to pull himself back from the edge.

“Maude.”

“Tom.”

“Not going to last long.”

“Don’t care.”

“I…I…Mau…”

I kissed him sloppily, cutting him off, then spoke.

“Thomas. William. Hiddleston. Shut up and fuck me already.”

Before I even got the ‘me already’ out the head of his cock was poised at my entrance, and our eyes locked as I pushed down and he pushed up, meeting no resistance and fully seating himself in a single thrust. He stared at me in wonder, mouth agape, gasping and grabbing onto my hips as I began to ride him.

“Maude…that…you…how…all of me…GOD…feels incredible…you…so warm…so WET.” He began thrusting, and I squeezed, matching his rhythm. His eyes rolled back in his head for a few seconds, then met mine again. “Close. Too close.” He maneuvered his hand between us again, rubbing my clit furiously with two fingers. I rolled my hips faster, chanting his name as my walls clenched around him.

“Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom.” Words quickly failed me and my chant devolved into a monosyllabic keen. His thrusts faltered, stuttering, and he cried out.

“Oh, Maude, god, Maude, oh FUCK, oh Maude…” I felt him pulsing inside me, come jetting in long, slow spurts, the edges of my vision going dark, hearing screaming as I came that I didn’t initially recognize as my own.

*************************************************** When I began to emerge from what I thought was a post-coital haze, Tom’s arms were wrapped tightly around my limp torso, holding me to his chest. My head lolled on his shoulder, his chin nuzzling my neck. I raised a leaden arm and set about rubbing his back. I felt him smile.

“Well hello there.” His voice was just above a whisper. As I raised my head to look at him, my body shifted and I realized he was still inside me. He smiled sheepishly when I met his gaze. “Sorry about that. I didn’t want to wake you.” I yawned.

“Mmm, I’m totally fine with staying this way forever.” I leaned back, cocking my head, puzzled. “Wake me? What do you mean, wake me?”

He grinned and kissed the tip of my nose. “It appears the vigorousness of our…activities…combined with the lateness of the hour exhausted you completely, resulting in your dozing off for a bit.”

I groaned. “Um, how long was I, you know, dozing?”

He traced my spine with his fingertips. “About fifteen minutes or so.”

I covered my eyes with my hand and shook my head. “Fuck. Me. Sideways.” He leaned in to whisper in my ear.

“Let’s save that for next time. You, darling, need to get some sleep.” I sighed, figuring he’d be out the door as soon as I was off his lap. I tried to reach my T-shirt, which was behind me on the floor, intending to use it to contain some of the mess when I got up. His was already in his hand. “Here, let me help.”

I lifted myself off him slowly, wondering how it was that my legs weren’t asleep. He gently nudged the shirt in place as his cock slid out of me. He was at half-mast. I bit my lip and rocked my hips. He chuckled as he put his hands under my arms to help me stand.

“Don’t tempt me, woman. It’s taking every ounce of my willpower to refrain from fucking you into that mattress all night long.” I whined. “But you have a very long day ahead of you and it’s well past 2 AM.” He walked me to the bathroom, closing the door after I went inside. I bundled up the shirt, tossing it on the floor as I sat on the bowl to pee, wiped, flushed, then brushed my teeth quickly. I opened the door, fully expecting him to be gone.

He was standing right outside, waiting, and kissed me quickly. “Do you have an extra toothbrush I can use?” I shook my head. “May I use yours, then?”

I nodded. “Sure. Yeah.”

I stood in my stupor, listening to the toilet flush again, the water running, him spitting…and suddenly there he was, naked, smiling, beautiful, and herding me over to the king size bed. He pulled back the covers, motioned for me to climb in and glanced at the clock.

“What time do you need to be up?” I blinked.

“Um, seven? I guess?” He set the alarm and stood next to the bed. I just stared at him. He grinned.

“Well, are you going to move over or would you prefer that I get in on the other side?” I moved over and rolled onto my side. He climbed in and nestled in against my back, arm around my waist. He kissed the top of my head.

“Goodnight, my Maude.”

I was sound asleep before I could return the sentiment.

#your light in the mist #chapter 6

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creativity-is-rebellion · 4 years

Text

What the Actual Fuck?

Pardon my language, but I didn’t know how else to name this post. I’ll forewarn you, Dear Reader, that this is a rant (nevertheless a highly logical one). So I’ve seen recently (and by that I mean over the past year or so), the romanticisation of, or even outright declaration that mental illness is a “superpower” (I am mentally inserting so many facepalms here). Although I will attest that sometimes, creativity and mental illness can go hand-in-hand, as the individual sees the world differently, this is most often not the case, because the vast majority of people are not creative. And none of this “everybody is creative in their own way” bullshit. Such statements are intellectually dishonest. And even of those possessing heightened creativity who are also effected by a mental disorder, the mental disorder can cause so many disruptions to your day-to-day life as to greatly hinder your creative productivity, and “thinking positively” does not cure this. Which is why I want to address the picture below that I came across via a Facebook post and it made me want to break my phone and yell expletives at the screen. Needless to say, I unfriended the individual who posted this, because it’s stupid content like this that makes me realise that I am surrounded by idiots. I get that most people post about things off-handedly that tend to reflect their own limited reality, and it probably spoke to them in some way. But really? PTSD? Nope.

Did you read the content of the post? Ok. Good. There’s a reason I am pointing out PTSD in particular. Let’s go through the description and diagnostic factors which characterise the disorder, shall we?

PTSD (also known as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) is characterised by a failure to recover after experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. The condition may last months or years, with triggers that can bring back memories of the trauma accompanied by intense emotional and physical reactions. Symptoms may include nightmares or flashbacks, avoidance of situations that bring back the trauma, heightened reactivity to stimuli, anxiety or depressed mood. Wow, what a fantastic thing to have, right? I bet you are wondering, where do I sign up??

Now, in addition to my Bipolar disorder, I have suffered from PTSD for too many years, and I am just starting to work through it. Now is the first time I have actually had the time to take the steps toward full recovery. With my Bipolar, it can be managed, but I know there is no cure. It’s something I have to live with every day. When I’m medicated and seeing my psychiatrist on a regular basis, I can tame the beast, but it still sleeps within a dark cave deep in my psyche. If I experience any upset to my daily life, be it a lack of sleep, a negative trigger, or too much stress, it awakens with a terrifying roar and exacts it’s vengeance upon me.

The PTSD just makes this factor even more delicate. Sometimes I feel like I am made of glass. And the same goes for things that make me feel too “upbeat” as well. Is it just a passing happy feeling, or is it the start of a hypermanic or full-blown manic episode? Sometimes it makes it hard to trust myself, my decisions, even my own day-to-day experience. And even if there may be an optimal point to the manic high, it does not end there – the pace becomes too fast, the thought too brief, the feeling too overwhelming, and bad decisions, risk-taking, neglect of dependents and loved ones, the spending of money that often is not there, often all feature. But yeah, I’m sure after hearing all that, Kerwin Rae above would just love to have all of that *facepalm*. In social or work situations, many sufferers of mental illness generally tend shove their feelings way down in order to function in those circumstances. I know this, because this is what I have often done, and when you shove all of those feelings down frequently enough, it’s more difficult to recover, or, at least, manage your symptoms by getting the help you need. It also makes it harder and harder to function on a day-to-day basis, and can cost you even more years in therapy. When you are at your lowest, it can feel like you lose all sense of time, and when you are “back,” you are angry for the time you lost. It’s awful.

The reality is mental illness is untidy, difficult and often invisible from the outside. It is a complex state of being that can have disastrous and long-term effects on a person’s life. It shouldn’t be stigmatised, like it unfortunately has been for so many years, but the romanticisation of mental illness needs to just stahp as well. Just. Stahp. Doing so portrays mental illness portrays it like it is something cool or mysterious to have, whereas if you actually talked to someone that has been diagnosed, they would let you know that they’d give anything to be rid of it. The romanticising of mental illness also perpetuates the stereotypes that it’s the same as having a bad day, feeling a little “blue,” or feeling nervous (which tends to be misconstrued as anxiety). It also continues the myth that sufferers of mental illness could “just think differently, and they’d feel better”.

People need to understand that it isn’t the same as just normal fluctuations toward a negative mood, such as sadness, it is something which significantly effects your daily functioning, and is not something you can just erroneously claim to have for extra credibility, and it is fucking dangerous to call it a “superpower.” Such statements can make sufferers feel inadequate for not being able to overcome it, invalidating their experience, and can potentially even lead those with Bipolar who are suffering from a manic episode, for instance, to resist getting the help they need. Furthermore, to describe any mental illness as “a superpower” ignores the costs of living with (or living with someone who has) a serious mental health condition. Therefore, those who produce or post such damaging content should think a little. I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and believe that they may have confused the normal scale of human emotions with something that is outside of those boundaries. That can happen. But if so, they should fucking educate themselves, especially those with the power of an easily-influenced audience who can spread their misinformation and cause far more damage than the average person *mic drop*. Rant over.

#mental health #mental illness #mental disorder #things that make me mad #just stahp #i hate stupid people #just think please #things that tick me off #my rants #mic drop #educate yourself #creativityisrebellion

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