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dashofmonsters · 5 months

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Dreamers & Delusions- Pt. 2

Merman x Female Reader

"I'll have to go into hibernation if it gets too cold or if I can't find something to do. The acclimation program already knows about my kind and our issues with the cold so they have accommodations for winter," he explains.

"Well I hope it doesn't get too cold then, would be a bummer if I couldn't come see you," you smile at him.

Tao's eyes go wide for a second before he clears his throat, "Yes well it would indeed be a bummer... Especially since we have just decided to be friends."

"Right?" you beam.

You and Tao talk and talk almost to the point where it's just about silly things or what he's struggling with during his acclimation. You find out he's a very literal person who has issues the most with slang, metaphors, and emotes. He lives in a rental that's about a couple miles away from the beach and he usually walks to work or the local grocery store since he can't fit into normal vehicles.

After a little bit of work though you find out an even more endearing side to him, he likes to try his hand at cooking ever so often. Though he prefers his meat raw, he likes the idea of charring the outside and adding bits of flavor. He was a little embarrassed to admit it but you found out it's because his father was supposed to show him how to create a feast to impress a mate per tradition.

You didn't press as to why his father didn't teach him seeing he was already uncomfortable enough to admit it. So you decided to share a bit of something uncomfortable about yourself.

"My mom never taught me how to do a lot of basics that most parents are supposed to teach their kids. I had to watch a lot of how to videos and make myself look like an idiot if I messed up or didn't know something. A lot of people assumed I was stupid or had no common sense. I just didn't have a point of reference and I hated being ignorant but I was judged for my short comings and no one ever helped," you admit.

Tao nods and gives you his first, though very small, smile.

"Is that why you are forgetting things constantly?" he asks with the slightest smirk.

"Yeah...sure," you feel a bit embarrassed by his question, but you'll never confess that you 'forgot' those things just as an excuse to talk to him.

"I see, I will take that into account that due to your upbringing that you just don't think about these things and I will stop being annoyed by it," he nods.

"You were annoyed," now you feel a little hurt.

"Of course I was, but no more than I usually am," he shrugs.

"That doesn't sound fun," you grimace. "You can't just be annoyed all the time."

"I'm not annoyed when I'm at home," he says.

"Lucky," you laugh.

"Why? Are you unable to be at peace at home too?" he gives you a look of genuine concern then.

His number one thing seems to be peace. He's a no nonsense guy who just wants to go about his day with no hiccups. His life honestly seems perfect compared to your at times.

"Only when I'm sleeping or about to leave for work. Peace... that doesn't come easy to someone like me," you frown.

Tao studies you then as he drops to your eye level. You should feel super uncomfortable but for some reason you don't mind. He stares hard at your face and scans it until he nods.

"You do look very tired," he says.

You can't help but to laugh at his observation, "Tao, I'm going to let you in on a secret: I'm always tired."

"That is unhealthy," he scowls.

"Yup and there's nothing I can do about it," you shrug.

"Yes there is, you could go home and sleep," he says, almost ordering you to do so.

That's when you can't help but to crack up. It's horrible that this is how you cope, but it is.

"If I went home to sleep right now, my grandmother would give me an earful about being lazy," you laugh.

Tao doesn't laugh, he doesn't smile, doesn't do anything except stand up slowly and prowl over to you.

You shut up real quick thinking something is wrong until he picks you up. You yelp, being carried in one arm at his hip like a sack of rice.

"What are you doing?!" you squawk as you sway when he shifts to carry you princess style.

He doesn't say anything until he sets you down onto your tie dye towel.

"Rest, I'll make sure no one bothers you while you're here," he says.

You can't help but feel a mix of emotions then. Your eyes water a little but you swipe away any moisture before a tear falls.

"Thank you, that's probably the sweetest thing anyone has said to me in a long while," you smile at him.

And Tao in all his Taoness, just nods.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Tao really meant it when he said no one would bother you while you were on the beach.

The day after he said that, you had what was possibly the best beach nap you've ever had thanks to Tao brining you a beach chair with your name on it. Literally.

At first it felt weird that he'd go that far just for you to get a beach nap but you guessed it might be some cultural thing and as far as Tao said, you're his only friend. You thanked him and didn't think much of it until the day after that.

A group of teenagers were playing volleyball a little too roughly and one of the guys fumbled and the ball got you right on the head even though you did your best to dodge it. The boys tried to apologize but Tao gave them an earful about respect and being more spatially aware.

That too was normal for Tao though he was a bit harsher than usual. Unfortunately it got worse.

Yesterday was a blessed off day. No work, your grandmother was out thrifting to her heart's content, and all your bills had been paid. You were excited to head to the beach but that excitement was short lived.

The first thing you noticed was that your chair was pulled a little closer to the guard tower. Next was that Tao wasn't in the tower but leaning against the ladder like he was expecting some shit to hit the fan any second. And finally, the group of muscle hunks posing as they flexed for the cameras.

Apparently some magazine decided this spot was the perfect location for some weird gym rat protein powder ad photo shoot and to make matters worse, they tried to rope Tao into it.

Before you sat down though, Tao made a bit of a scene by scooting your chair even closer to the tower while making eye contact with one of the big buff dudes.

You told him he was being a bit extra to which he said he was only being cautious as they had been eyeing you since you started walking down the beach. You rolled your eyes, ready to tell him that there's no way they'd be interested in you until he thrusted a binder in your direction.

It was a detailed list of ingredients, dishes, and recipes commonly enjoyed by all saltwater merfolk with a few dishes his kind liked the most. You had almost forgot that he said he'd make this list for you so when he gave it to you, you almost cried.

You thanked him and started fanning through the pages and noticed his hand writing was especially nice on dishes that his people particularly enjoyed. You gave him a quick side eye and smiled.

These are probably his personal favorites, you think.

As you started to skim through the recipes with the neatest hand writing a shadow fell over you.

It was one of the buff guys.

He gave you the most generic social media fake ass grins ever and you couldn't help the eye roll. He started to introduce himself but was hardcore interrupted when Tao drove him into the ground like a fucking bull.

Tao and the buff guy started hashing it out until his bros came and peeled him away from the fight. It was the first time you really really saw Tao's teeth. Sharp and pointy like a shark's and then there was the spike like fins on his lower arms and legs. He looked like a mad dog ready to rip someone in half.

You heard one of the photographers comment on how territorial some of the fair folk can be with places or people they claim as their own.

If that was the case, then you guessed it might have to do with your friendship with Tao. If it wasn't, then he's about the get a stern talking to.

~~~~~~

"He was bothering you, I don't see why you're upset with me," Tao says after you lectured him about yesterday.

"I'm upset you dingbat because shit like that can get you sent back to your home realm! Do you think I want my friend to get deported over shit like that," you poke his arm, but it ends up being a jab.

Tao opens his mouth then closes it. He looks around a bit then let's out a long sigh "I'm sorry. I really don't know what's come over me. After I moved here, I didn't have my shoal. My sponsor checks on me maybe once every three months since he's been busy working with another merman who's been trying to get his pass here. I guess the loneliness drove me a bit crazy."

Now you feel bad for making him feel bad but you hope your gift will more than make up for it. You worked all morning long on it, double checking to make sure the meat was ready and perfect right before you left the house and that the sea greens were cooked and seasoned just right.

"Well moving past that, I brought you something," you take out the lunch box and show it to Tao.

He looks down right shocked as he goes to reach for it. He carefully removes the lid and his eyes stare hard at the contents.

"You made this... for me," his voice is soft and quiet and you can hear the pain behind it. He hesitates for a moment then takes a slice of the thin cut beef and pops it in his mouth. He closes his eyes and tilts his head back and swallows. He's quiet for a minute and you're afraid you messed up and he's too nice to tell you other wise.

"Tao if it's bad you can just tell me, I can take the criticism," you tell him, ready for the critical blow.

Instead he tilts his head back down and opens his eyes. The whites are now all black which makes his yellow irises pop even more so.

"My friend, if this was bad I would have spat it out," he grabs two more slices and then a few more practically stuffing his face like a kid who was caught with a bag of candy.

You watch as he eats everything, savoring every bite like he hasn't had a decent meal in ages. His harsh features soften as he takes the last bite and licks his fingers clean. For some reason you focus on him as he rolls the sauce off of his fingers and onto his tongue.

Bad lonely thoughts, Tao is our friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

"So was it good?" you ask, though you can probably guess the answer by the clean plate.

"If I was mermaid being offered a feast, I'd allow you the honor to continue courting me," he jokes.

"Oh what an honor," you laugh.

For the first time since you've met him he laughs back. You can't help but stare at him and feel a smile build up that hurts your cheeks.

"Thank you, really. I have tried and tried to create something that tastes like home but it was never quite right. It was either too salty or I over cooked the meat or the greens were under cooked somehow. This is pretty close to the flavors of my shoal. I didn't realize how much I missed this," he looks down at the empty lunch box with a mix of emotions.

Something in you feels for him. You haven't had a taste of home in forever but your problem is that you're pretty sure that it would make you physically sick instead of homesick. Home never felt like home, here didn't feel like home until you met Jessica and Tao.

Jessica made you her to die for pie for you birthday which you almost threw up from over drinking when she took you bar hopping for your birthday. Tao gave you an amazingly detailed binder of saltwater mer foods and recipes.

You can't think of anything better than food that brings all sorts of peoples together, human or the fair folk.

"Well, I can't do it all the time but I can at least make you a boxed lunch once a week, how does that sound," you smile at him.

"If it weren't for the fact that you're human and my friend I'd think you were trying to court me," he laughs. "But yes, that sounds good."

You play slap him and he laughs again.

~~~~~~~~~

"For the last time Jes, there's nothing romantic going on between Tao and I," you roll your eyes as Jessica gives you her biggest grin.

"Uh huh, sure girl. Maybe you don't see it that way, but guys don't risk getting deported for just friends and not just once. This is what, the second offence? He's lucky that he's, oh what did you say? A combination of a bookish mafia boss, the inspiration for the statues of deities and all around hotty mchot hot hot," she wriggles her brows at you before popping another slice of gum in her mouth.

You snort laugh, "I did not say that last one Jes."

"No, but you were thinking it," she raises a brow and twirls around till she's behind the counter.

"Listen, I can find him physically attractive and still not want more than a friendship. Plus he hasn't come onto me so I'm pretty sure he's not into me like that," you sigh and continue cleaning the table you just cleared.

Jessica hums something and clicks her tongue, "Girl you do know he's not human right? That he might have been coming onto you from the get go without you realizing it? Shoot for that matter he might not even realize it himself."

That has you curious now.

"What do you mean by that," you look over you shoulder to see Jes twirling a red curl.

"Oh you know, that the fair folk believe in fated mates and things like that," she gives you a cheesy grin and blushes a little.

You do know about the fated mates thing, it's one of the reasons a lot of fair folk, especially the guys, flocked to this realm in droves once the rift border opened up. With the fae it was pretty easy to tell once the bond clicked which wasn't always immediately. Their calm and calculated appearance would become wild and untamed. They would get quickly territorial and easily violent towards anyone who came close to their mate. A mark would usually show above the heart and a matching one would appear on their mate once their bond was consummated.

As for merman, no one had any idea what to look for since they just started coming this side as of a few years ago.

"Yes, I'm well aware about that. So what does that have to do with him not know if he's coming onto me," you ask.

"They know it deep down and act on it sometimes. They don't even realize they're courting you half the time or that they have this desire to want to be with you. It's hardcore ingrained into their DNA or something, I don't know. But it sounds to me that he is indeed into you. You're both just too oblivious to see it. Unlike Artek," Jes grins at the mention of her wild fae lover's name and sighs.

And suddenly her weird school girl crush behavior makes sense.

"Jes, did you and Artek.... Wait a sec, are you and-"

Jessica folds down her top just enough for you to see part of a swirling mark above her heart. She shakes in place with the goofiest smile you've ever seen on her.

"Just found out last night. Oh and he did not want to let me go," she places a hand on her forehead and feigns being scandalized. "But I have to go to work. He threatened to come in and tear Mikey a new one if he so much as thinks he can schedule me during my bond week," she give a vicious grin then.

The fae took about a week to celebrate their mate bond here, which was a much shorter version of their actual month long festivity of it. Mates were so rare on their side for some reason but here it was becoming as normal as two humans getting married. It just happened, but it was equally special if not more so.

Regardless, you were happy for Jes. Mikey tried to take everything from her in their divorce but got next to nothing after a detective brought in proof of his multiple affairs. That's why he's such an ass to her here.

"So, when's your bride feast huh? Gonna go all out," you turn to her and cross your arms.

Jessica goes into great detail about what she wants to do for the rest of the shift. That Artek has invited his large ass family this side to celebrate and that he's already started sourcing materials for their marriage bed. It was more than obvious that she's over the moon and can't get over the fact that she's found the one after years of dealing with a heartache.

Mikey tried to shut her down but several of the fair folk patrons snapped at him saying that it's a blessing that her and Artek found one another and he shouldn't discourage her happiness. His flustered face was priceless.

~~~~~

"Hey grandmama, I'm home," you shout as you slide your shoes off at the door.

Your grandmother's house is unusually quiet for this time of day when she's usually scrolling through her phone while listening to her soap operas. You look around and the livingroom is empty and so is the kitchen. You're about to call her when you see a note on the fridge saying Gayle has whisked her away for margaritas with the girls.

"Fuck me sideways and call me bob," you rake your fingers over your face in frustration. As much as you can't stand her normal antics you loath her when she's drunk. If you're lucky, Gayle will have her spend the night at her house until their hangovers wear off. If you weren't, there's a nice beach with your name on it.

Typically you'd go there after work but you're tired and you have the house to yourself right now. So you stretch and crack open the fridge and start preparing for a blissful night of snacking and binge watching some of your favorite shows.

~~~~

Hours pass and you get a text from Gayle that she's taking your grandmother home with her since she's had one too many and sends you a pic of your grandmother trying to put a dollar bill in a male strippers strap.

"Thanks for the mental scarring Gayle, just what I needed," you text back to her knowing she'll get the joke.

Gayle was a close family friend and was more like a grandmother to you than your biological one was at times. She was sweet and caring with a crazy sense of humor and infectious laughter. You sometimes wish you lived with her but she travels too much and she likes her alone time just as much as she like partying.

You squirm in your grandmother's recliner and grab a bag of chips getting ready for the next show until you hear a frantic knock at your door.

The bag flies out of your hand due to your shock reflex and you place a hand over your heart.

The knocking continues as you rush to the door to check through the peephole. You can't see nothing.

"Who is it?" you ask.

"It's me, are you ok," you hear Tao's voice.

You pause, not remembering if you ever told him where you live aside from the general direction. You slowly open the door and look up at him. He looks worried out of his mind.

"Tao, are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost buddy," you ask him.

His hair is all messed up and he's breathing fast and hard, trying to catch his breath and his tan skin looks like he worried himself sick.

"You didn't come to the beach today. You've been coming everyday except when it rains. I thought something happened," he frowns.

"Oh uh well, no I'm fine. My grandmother is out tonight so I thought I'd enjoy a night in since this rarely happens," you explain.

"I see, ok... That's good then. As long as you're alright," he nods and sighs as he leans against the top of the door frame.

A crack of thunder peels off in the distance causing Tao to flinch. He looks even more worried then.

"Sounds like rain," you comment.

"Yes, I... I should get going then, I don't want to accidentally transform back to my other form while walking home. It'd be very inconv-"

Before he finishes that thought lightning bursts through the sky and the little misting sprinkle turns into a torrential downpour.

Tao groans and looks resigned as he's about to turn to leave but you quickly stop him.

"Hey you can stay here for tonight if you want to wait out the rain," you tell him.

He looks to you like that's possibly the dumbest thing you could say.

"That sounds inappropriate," he glares at you. "Inviting an unmated male into your house is never wise."

"Tao we're friends and adults. I'm pretty sure I can trust you to keep your hands to yourself unless you've had ulterior motives from the get go," you cross your arms and stare up at him.

"It is still unwise," he nods, being firm.

"Oh so then you do have ulterior motives," you raise a brow.

"I never said that," he grimaces.

"Then there's no problem if you don't. Come on, get your ass in here," you open the door all the way and beckon him inside.

You hear him groan as he accepts his defeat while walking in. He struggles with the low ceiling, well low for him as he shuts the door.

"Is this your first time in a human house," you ask, leading him to the livingroom.

"Yes, it's very uh small and compact," he notes.

You get the compact part as your grandmother is a bit of a tidy hoarder, the small thing, that's probably due to his height.

"Well mi casa su casa. Well more like mi abuela's casa su casa, but still, make yourself at home," you say then try to offer him something warm to eat and drink.

Tao tries to deny any offers but you snap back saying it's rude to deny your hostess the honor of taking care of her guest. Tao eventually resigns and you bring him a warm cup of tea. As you go to the kitchen to make him something to eat he asks if he can watch you. You agree and start pulling ingredients left and right.

You get fully into the zone as you start preparing the food. You glance over at Tao ever so often just to see that he's fixated on your process. As you start cooking you notice the whites of his eyes turn black again. He sniffs the air and his pupils dilate.

"Want to try a bite," you offer him a piece and he takes it with no hesitation and scarfs it down. His nails which are sharp and pointed seem a bit longer and more pointier now. His expression looks more predatory than normal and some of his spikey fins have started protruding.

Guess that means he's really hungry.

"Give me just a few more minutes and dinner will be ready ok," you tell him as you continue on with his meal.

Tao just nods and stares daggers at pan. You feel like if you let him he'd lunge at it with reckless abandon and eat everything in record timing.

After a little bit you scoop the meat into a bowl and hand it to him. He looks at it and takes in a deep whiff before carefully grabbing a bite. He looks like he's holding back going ham on the food and you're wondering if he's trying not to scare you by going into some weird merman feeding frenzy.

"Hey if you need to eat however you want to eat, go ahead. I can just uh go into another room if you want some privacy or someth-"

Tao grabs a handful of the meat and stuffs his face with it. His pupils nearly engulf his irises making his eyes look pitch black. He tears into the strips of meat like a crazed hungry animal. The juices and sauce start dripping down his arms and you roll your eyes at the mess.

"I'm going to get you a towel, that stuff'll get sticky after a while," you say as you walk towards to laundry room.

Tao grunts and consumes some more meat.

As you get to the laundry room you smack yourself over the head for having another bout of terrible lonely girl thoughts.

Tao, smack.

Is, smack.

Just, smack.

A, smack.

Friend, smack.

You should not be even more attracted to him after that feeding frenzy trance thing he just went in and yet you can't stop thinking about it.

"God, does that mean I'm depraved," you question yourself. "Or does this just mean I'm weird and anything goes right now in my lonely haven't had sex in ages mind?"

Probably a bad mix of both...

You sigh and grab a towel and turn only to be met with a brick wall.

"Oh hey, are you done," you ask, praying that he didn't hear you questioning your sexual sanity.

He nods and cocks his head and points to the towel.

"Yeah, um here," you hand it to him and he slowly but carefully cleans himself off.

"So there's a guest bedroom in the back. Bed is probably a bit small for you even though it's a king size. It gets cold at night since my grandmother has the a/c on a schedule so I'll bring you some extra blankets," you tell him as you turn to go show him the room.

He quietly follows you and steps slowly into the room, smelling and inspecting it. You leave him be while you go grab a large comforter and a few throw blanket for him. When you come back he's already curled under the covers with his feet barely sticking out. As you go to lay another layer over him he snatches you and pulls you into the covers with him.

You flail about for a bit until you hear what you're pretty sure in a purr. You kick up the covers to see Tao asleep now and honest to gods purring. He pulls you in closer and just cuddles you. He's mentioned a few times that when someone gets cold that his shoal will form basically cuddle piles to stay warm. Maybe that's it and maybe he's also really homesick. He said he can never go back though...

"Just this once, jeeze. Not letting you go into a feeding frenzy next time I give you food," you snort laugh and try to relax against Mr. Brick wall.

Tao shifts a bit till he's holding you close enough that you can hear his heartbeat. He moves the covers and extra blankets back up and slowly drifts back to sleep.

You're a little jealous of how fast he can nod off but eventually you start dozing in and out.

He's probably going to flip the fuck out about this in the morning. Well, we'll deal with it then...

#monster boyfriend #monster x girl #monster x human #monster x reader #monster lover #merman #Tao the merman #merman x reader #monster romance #merman boyfriend #monster love #merman x female reader #monster boyfriend oc #monster bf #slow burn #slow burn romance

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weirdmarioenemies · 10 months

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This is a post about GUBBLE

Gubble is funny, we all know this. Look at Gubble, look and giggle. But Gubble is not just something to laugh at, it is something to laugh WITH! It is a fun little game full of nonsense words and weird little creatures. I highly recommend reading the manual, which you can find here, as it is actually rather funny! I will be talking about some of my favorite Gubble Creatures! So here I am, posting a Gubble. It's Friday, alright!

Gubble D. Gleep

Oh hell yeah! Look at that rendering. I never want to see Gubble in a "good" rendering style. I don't think he would be able to breathe. Gubble is the main Gubble Creature. He is a funny alien! The gleep glorp kind! He has a wacky skin color and antennae, but his big defining features are his ears, which he is very proud of. I do not know how they work! It is weird to see an alien with antennae AND ears, since I always assume alien antennae are for detecting sound, but maybe Gubble's are like regular animal antennae, and are for smelling!

Gubble makes all sorts of weird noises as he flies around in his, I quote, "mini-spaceship pod thing". He uses that to unscrew screws and pry out nails and anything else he needs to do to detach Zymbots from the surface of the planet Rennigar, and Zymbots are the levels, and you see the word "Zymbot" a LOT in this game, and I think that is wonderful.

They even put "Zymbot" on the cover of the sequel! That only makes the information more confusing than it otherwise would have been. I am all for it! But what awaits you, among the Zymbots...?

Wangry Wobot

"They are red and they are angry. Unfortunately, they don't know what they are angry about, but they know they like to follow aliens around."

Look at this! See what I mean? The manual is so delightful! Wangry Wobot... such a wonderful name! This wobot is wangry... or I should say, this wobot is angry, because the description informs us that it is angry, and Wangry Wobot is its name. All it does is walk, but in a funny way, with those legs sliding back and forth on its body, not bending or anything. I love how flat and minimalist this thing is. Built and programmed just to walk around, yet built with the capacity for anger...

Wangry Wobot Wannabee

"They are not-quite-red (blue actually), but they want to be every bit as angry as the Wangry Wobots. They haven’t learned how to follow aliens yet, so they just wander around aimlessly. Pathetic, really, but oh well…"

Hey! Be nice to them! If Wangry Wobot is Gubble's Goomba, then the Wannabee is Gubble's Goombrat. These are even more endearing with their personality! They look up to Wangry Wobots so much, like a younger sibling or maybe even a child, a freshly hatched robot from a metal egg. I wish we had funny robots like this in real life, but the only ones they make in real life these days are evil. Hopefully it will one day be economically feasible to fund some funny robots that walk around town and do literally nothing but kind of get in the way. Would be cool!

FlatWorm

"These guys like to sneak up on you unnoticed and cause grief and misery."

Wow! I would not have expected to see notable Creature Representation in Gubble of all things, but here we have a platyhelminth that at least I think is pretty clearly a stylized planarian! This one is a funny shape, like a shoehorn, and has a funny depth to it, like it was cut out of a sheet of dough. Now, normally I would be telling you that no animal is morally bad, they don't have the capacity for it, but we are told in FlatWorm's description that it is, indeed, messed up and evil. Just get away from it, please! Get back to the zymbot! Had you forgotten about the zymbot?

Orb

"They just roam around over your head. They're orbs, ya know?"

I am not sure I know! But they are cool orbs! Good job making some orbs! Their eyes make them look like giant ostracods, the most orbtastic creature of all!

Slug Bug

"An example of the bizarre Rennigar fauna. Man, somebody must have gone pop-eyed when that monster was created."

Created??? These creatures were Created??? Even the non-mechanical ones? By who? Mad scientists? Gubble God? I don't know! Whoever it was, I don't think they know what a slug is, though. Pincers, segments, bristles, this is all bug, no slug! Like some kind of larva to me. The five eyes are goofy, but most insects technically do have five eyes, with two compound eyes and three little ocelli on top!

Drone

"Originally used as repair drones, these spidery-looking things will use their pinchers on you just as effectively. Stay out of their reach!"

Look, it's Drone! Like they keep putting in the cartoons to keep them timely! I am fascinated by the manual for calling these "spidery-looking", since it is clearly some kind of roboshark head with pinchy claws. Did you know? Real spiders do not look like robosharks! However, I am not saying the manual is WRONG. Maybe "spider" means something entirely different than the way we Earthlings use it. After all, we say "level" instead of "zymbot", like a bunch of knuckleheads!

Uurrgghh

"The stories go that the Uurrgghhs used to be somebody's eyes and were stolen. Now they roam back and forth looking for their owner. And if they can't find their owner, you would do as well. Want a pair of alien eyes?"

I will bookend this post with another of the silliest enemy names. We really go from Drone right to Uurrgghh. Awesome! Uurrgghh is almost a fantasy creature, a classic eyeball with bat wings, but it has this cool metal exoskeleton or helmet with droopy horns, and three tentacles emerging from the bottom, so it is also fittingly sci-fi, which I think is very fun. I don't think they looked like that when they were just someone's eyes, but put on this protective outfit to stay moist and healthy while flying around with no eyelids. Would you welcome them into your sockets? They don't HAVE to replace your current eyes. They could all be friends!

So those are just some of my favorite silly things from Gubble! If you did not know much about Gubble, I hope you have a new appreciation for it! Be careful out there on those zymbots!

#gubble #gubble d gleep #wangry wobot #wangry wobot wannabee #flatworm #orb #slug bug #drone #uurrgghh #gubble enemies #not mario #funky friday #mod chikako

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xitsensunmoon · 8 months

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I am glad to know I'm not the only one who prefers Moon more as well

And if I can be completely honest, I don't like how Moon is constantly characterized in both the game and books. I can't stand how Moon is just written as 'he's just Sun's creepy and evil alterego' and that's it, I don't understand why they gave him no other character or personality beyond that. When they didn't do that with everyone else, Sun was only on screen for fifteen minutes, and you get a complete understanding of his character, personality, and story. But Moon gets nothing like that what-so ever and it hurts to see.

Because I have to ask, is Moon really evil? The games and books tell you he is, but we don't get to see how Moon feels about it or if he believes he is evil. Nor do we get a motive behind it other than he was 'programed that way' or 'it's the virus making him act that way' and no one seems to agree on which one is more likely. But I can't blame them since we have nothing to go on because the writers couldn't be bothered to give us any insight into Moon as a character.

And I was not happy with the daycare section in Ruin, It felt rushed and wasn't scary as the base game. But my biggest problem with the section was how we deal with Moon. The fact that we had to hurt Moon with the lights and hearing him crying out in pain made me extremely uncomfortable. And he clearly didn't want to merge Sun but we just ignore him and reboot him anyway.

Sorry for spilling this out on you, I'm just happy to meet someone who loves Moon as much as I do

I do agree with a lot of this, and yeah Moon is my fav, probably mostly because I can relate to him better.

That's a long post so I cut it

FNAF explanations for different things sometimes are very silly and don't make sense, but I don't agree that he's portraited evil in games, as in DLC we get very small amount of information that before virus he was okay?

Books and games are different universes as well, if I'm not mistaken and are not canon to each other.

The fact that we don't get to see his view on all of the situation is sad, yeah, but gotta be real, dca in general doesn't get enough screen time. Sun and Moon and Eclipse have a giant potential as characters but just never get that used, unfortunately. As FNAF is Freddy's game. Not dca's.

Ruin was harsh. It was supposed to be uncomfortable, as our favourite characters are hurt, crashed and forgotten. Everyone suffers there and DLC was much scarier (to me) just because of that fact, of how we literally hear our character cry and scream and save themselves.

My thoughts on ruin Moon are biased, as he's my fav but I do believe that he wanted to get back the control that he lost in the main game, as Sun was forced to lock him away. "Keep the lights on", and Moon was just going insane being locked away for so long.

That's why we see him not as angry in the main game, because Gregory turned the lights off, and Moon doesn't have any reason to be angry at him for that. All his actions after that, trying to catch Gregory, calling him a rulebreaker, as I think go from virus.

Meanwhile in the ruin Cassie tries to do the opposite, to turn the light back on, to try and lock him up again. Sun is crying about being trapped in an endless nap, but we just keep forgetting that Sun did the same to Moon in the main game. Moon just unlike Sun didn't have an opportunity to cry about it.

I also think that the more time passes the more broken they get. Light hurts Moon because he can't switch to Sun, as it would normally happen, because of the ar. That's why it hurts so bad. That's why they need a reboot. Sun was just the first one to realize it, while Moon is being consumed by anger, virus, and trying to regain the control that he lacked for years and years. He doesn't want a reboot, but he indeed needs it.

I don't think that he's evil. I think he's hurt. He's just another victim of the situation, unfortunately often misinterpreted as a villain. Unfortunately being the "angry" and "dangerous" and "scary" one, while he just wants the same things as Sun does. He doesn't want pain(so he tries to stop us from turning the lights on), he doesn't want being caged. He chooses the simplest for that moment solution, it doesn't hurt them to be in the dark, so he tries to keep the dark.

#long post #ask xitsen

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actualbird · 2 years

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i think itd be really funny if luke and mc had no sense of normal boundaries with each other whatsoever

i recently remembered this exchange from luke’s personal story 3

luke: //says something INCREDIBLY CREEPY STALKER-ISH VERY CASUALLY

mc: //answers sheepishly but in no way indicating that that INCREDIBLY CREEPY STALKER-ISH DETAIL is in any way indeed INCREDIBLY CREEPY AND STALKER-ISH

me: oh so you guys are WEIRD weird

i went back to replay the scene to check if i missed something like if luke was holding her laptop or some shit and "access to your computer logs" was more of "yo ur timestamped browser history is like, right in front of me" but prior to this exchange mc had only showed luke her chat with ted.

that couldve happened on her phone or laptop and i guess maybe that chat couldve shown late timestamps of her staying up but 1) why didnt the line just say that and thus save me from the full minute "HUHHH?!?!??" misunderstanding of thinking that luke used his hacker prowess to essentially keep tabs on mc's data and 2) it's just wayy funnier to me to construe this exchange to mc and luke being co-dependent wackos (affectionate)

im aware this could go a dark/yandere!luke route but im personally not too big of a fan of those (and if you are, thats neat!! just not my thing) and thus am going more on the hc angle of Luke And MC Mutually Have No Understanding Of Normal Social Boundaries With Each Other, like, thats just how they are with each other.

theres no dark or malicious ulterior motive, thats just how they Are. grew up together, told each other everything, peas in a pod, and as they grew older and got wilder skillsets, the lack of boundaries continued via those mediums and they think this kind of stuff is completely normal and everybody surely is like this with a close friend, right?

and i say mutually. for equality. i dont want luke to be the only one w the stalker power, mc has to have it too

luke can have his hacker bullshit to keep tabs on mc but for the sake of Equality and also for the sake of him finding ways to cope with his Big Huge Guilt over his 8 year disappearance, luke gives mc ways to creepily keep tabs on him as well.

for example

luke: i know my disappearance gave you a lot of anxiety and that you worry a lot about how im doing when im away.....

luke: .....so i created a program you can install into any device that'll give you live readings of my exact location on the globe as well as all my vitals from a subcutaneous microchip i implanted into myself :')

luke: with this, i can never run away from you ever again :')

mc, genuinely: this is the sweetest thing anybodys ever done for me 🥺🥺🥺

DAVIS, listening in from a nearby device: oh you guys are WEIRD weird

#tears of themis #luke pearce #tot luke #tot rosa #tears of themis headcanons

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catindabag · 11 months

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TBOSAS on Crack short take (29)

*When the Tributes finally discussed the Mentorship Program after the Zoo Fiasco* Read [This] first.

Facet: Yesterday was kinda crazy.

Velvereen: Crazy?! Those Capitol losers were freaking hilarious!

Marcus: Says the one who didn’t need to clean up their Mentor’s mess.

Velvereen: To be fair, none of those four freaks were assigned to me.

Marcus: Well then, Velvet, I hope you get the worse one.

Velvereen: It’s Velve- Why am I even correcting you?! Your Mentor is a stupid drunk idiot!

Marcus: Ha! I pray your Mentor is an unhinged psycho who will feed you expired food.

Velvereen: You little sh-

Facet: Why are you two even fighting?! And why was that last part weirdly specific?!

Panlo: Yo, let’s trade Mentors!

Marcus: Does anybody want to take mine then?! I’m literally ready to sell his soul to anyone-

Lamina: But Marcus, your Mentor was clearly loaded with food and money.

Panlo: Yeah! You’re so lucky! Your Mentor was even generous to give me a second ham sandwich.

Brandy: Pablo, why didn’t you save me some?!

Panlo: For the last time, Brandy, my name is Pan-

Brandy: I don’t care!

Lucy Gray: And his boyfriend even gave me a rose! What a cute looking gentleman!🤭

Jessup: Are you sure about that, Lucy Gray?

Lucy Gray: What do you mean?

Jessup: Well, last time I checked, that Snow Angel was stupidly drunk and embarrassing himself in front of Treech.

Mizzen: He and his friends were also busy crying and hugging Reaper all the way here!😂

Reaper: Ughhh! Don’t remind me!

Coral: Lucky indeed. My half-naked Mender-

Teslee: Mentor.😀

Coral: *glares at Teslee* My stupid Mender only gave me this useless cheesecake coupon.

Brandy: What’s a coupon? Is it edible? Can I eat it?

Jessup: At least Vitamin Girl gave me these sparkly pills.

Panlo: Are you sure those things are safe to digest, 12?

Jessup: Don’t know. Don’t care.

Lucy Gray: They might as well taste like candy.

Facet: I just hope my Mentor is rich enough to feed me.

Teslee: Can we stop thinking about our Mentors for a moment? You’re all just making me nervous.

Lucy Gray: Don’t be so giddy, Teslee. We haven’t even met all of them.

Teslee: You’re just happy you already met your stupid Mentor! Plus he’s pretty!😫

Lucy Gray: And very much taken.

Velvereen: His super rich boyfriend is so clingy though.

Tanner: Well, I wish I had a super rich glucose guardian who would spoil me rotten too.

Facet: Same. But I want mine to take me shopping and buy me expensive jewelry.

Lucy Gray: Why the jewelry though?

Facet: Because I have standards.

Circ: Well, I just want someone as smart as me.

Jessup: Please stop. I don’t want to hear any of your fantasies while I’m still alive and breathing.

Reaper: Ugh!! Why did they even let a bunch of kids mentor another bunch of kids?!

Treech: Honestly, I couldn’t and wouldn’t care less.

Lucy Gray: Yup. Capitol people are weird.

Coral: Says the weirdest one.😒

Lucy Gray: Hey! Stop bullying Reaper!

Reaper: She’s not talking about me, Baird. She’s talking about you.

Lucy Gray: No, she ain’t!

Coral: Yes, I am!

Treech: Why are you guys even fighting? You should be more concerned about our dwindling food supplies.

Velvereen: Well, we could just save the cookies that Blondie and his rich boyfriend gave us for the next few days-

Mizzen: I already ate all of mine and Coral’s. So-

Coral: Mizzen, you little gremlin, how could you?!

Mizzen: They were delicious!

Coral: They were my evil Capitol cookies! Not yours!

Mizzen: Sharing is caring!

Coral: You never share, you evil gremlin!

Tanner: Well, I think the people in charge should at least feed us while we’re here.

Dill: *coughs* I think our Mentors will take care of that problem.

Hy: *coughs* I just hope my Mentor is rich enough to give me medicine.

Sheaf: I hope mine can steal me some Capitol sweets.

Brandy: I want to eat cake.

Panlo: Just don’t expect someone normal then. You might as well end up working with a Kleptomaniac who steals puppies for a living.

Reaper: Or a freaking Ravinstill.

Tanner: One of the President’s family members?! Never!

Dill: *coughs* Imagine working with a crazy Ravinstill.

Coral: Honestly, I would rather die of embarrassment if a stupid Ravinstill was assigned to me.

Dill: *coughs* Same.

Bobbin: I would literally take anyone else at that point. Heck! I would take one of those four drunks to be my Mentor.

Jessup: Shut up, Bobby! We get it already.🙄

Bobbin: It’s Bobbin!😠

Mizzen: No need to fight. Besides, we just have to wait and see by tomorrow.

Lucy Gray: Yeah! Let’s hope for the best!

Reaper: *is aggressively praying* Please, Panem, for once, I beg you to give me the normal one!😫🙏

Tanner: The normal one?

Reaper: And please don’t give me a Ravinstill! Give it to Dill for all I care!😭

Dill: *coughs* I heard that!😠

*Meanwhile, at the President’s Mansion*

Felix: *sneezes*🤧

Androcles: What’s wrong, Class Pres? You have been sneezing nonstop since late afternoon.

Felix: I came out to work on my essay today, but honestly, I’m feeling so attacked right now.

Androcles: That’s rough, buddy.

Felix: Wait- How did you get in here? And why are rolling in my freaking bed, Andie?!

Androcles: What do you mean? I always come here after school.

Felix: But I didn’t even invite you?

Androcles: You don’t need to invite me. I have your house keys.

Felix: You stole the Presidential House Keys?!

Androcles: You gave them to me.😀

Felix: I don’t remember giving you my- Andie, did you steal those Keys from the President of Panem?!

Androcles: Felix, my bestie, just accept the fact that we’re fundamentally married already!😘

Felix: We’re not even a couple-

Androcles: We have been bromantic boyfriends since the moment you won the class election.

Felix: Says who?!

Androcles: Says everyone but you, Class Pres~.😏

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randomgirlwritting · 1 year

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“Please, not me.„ - An Obey Me fanfiction with choices and a neutral reader.

•••

Short breath. You're holding your eyes closed as hard as you can, as if you were haunted by the worst torturing nightmare. How coming back to your senses would be even possible? Just hold on… Keep going, you got this.

« Y/N, wake up! You'll get through it! »

Your lashes go up, finally breaking up the lock to this bird's cage you were trapped in; letting the broken-legged dove take flight. As if not recognizing your surroundings wasn't bad enough, you notice a white haired man wearing questionable sunglasses sitting on the other side of the bed you're in, on his phone as he scrolls through social media. You don't know him; and the faint reminiscence of your arrival down there hits you right in the feelings. Struck with terror, you jump out of your bed, getting the bedside lamp and go for it, about to hit him right in the head. You have no intention of staying down there with demons… you can't let them have the last word.

« Let me leave!

-Heyo, what's wrong with y- »

The man blocks your attack before you can strike him down, yelling as loud as a virgin the first time she sees a male genitalia. You'd have screamed too if your throat suddenly didn't tighten, letting you barely breathe. You push the demon away as hard as you can and fly off the room, running through never ending corridors. This being said, you aren't going anywhere, as an even taller man blocks the way, his piercing red eyes making you shiver to the bones. Lucifer… Lucifer, you remember it's the last face you saw before passing out. Is it really your time? You ended up in hell? All this religious bullshit was in fact real, and your life choices brought you down there?

« Y/N, I see you are awake, I take it you've gotten the rest you needed. We've heard Mammon screaming, what exactly is going on?

-Lemme tell you! This crazy human just tried to smash my head with the freaking bed lamp! Diavolo couldn't have come up with a NORMAL human, huh?! They're s'pposed to be scared of demons, damn!

-I am! Stay away from me, I am NOT like you ! »

You yell as an attempt to stay composed, but you're crumbling from the inside. As if things couldn't get any worse, your and Mammon's shouting brought the others out of their rooms, taking a peek at what's going on. They're obviously demons; I mean what other beings could potentially be down there ? And they're all staring at you, eyes wide open. What does Mammon mean anyway? You were chosen to end up in hell? Lucifer let out an already tired sigh, looking down on you as he takes a step back to allow you to have some space. You have no idea what's going on, which makes the eldest puzzled.

« There is no need to make such a fuss. Y/N, you are indeed not a demon; you are a human whose application was accepted as a part of an exchange program between the Devildom and the Human World. You sure seem lost, but Mammon, my brother… The one you attacked is here to look after you. You were put under the protection of the Seven Rulers of the Underworld, so as long as you stay in your place, you want be in any dang-

-Do I look like I applied for a trip to Hell?! You are acting like it is nothing; but it is! I never asked to be here in the first place!

-Oooooh, the human talks back to Lucifer! That's not going to end well… »

The smallest brother with shiny wavy hair and clementine eyes shouted, as he took his phone out to record the scene… Before putting it right in his jacket pocket, the severe look on Lucifer's face definitely dissuaded him. Demons, huh? They don't like what you've been told about them at all. What if all of this was just them testing your faith? Hah. This idea makes you shake your head as the brothers exchange confused looks.

« Lucifer, wasn't the exchange program based on volunteering?

-Satan makes a point here. Why is such a hysterical normie's here in our house? They're nothing like Solomon. »

Satan… His very name makes a shiver run down your spine, as your neck's twitching in a painful tic. Though being called Satan, he looks like any human you could see, with pretty blonde hair and a very decent appearance.

« Silence! We can all agree something is wrong here, and be assured I will discuss it with Lord Diavolo as soon as I can. But remember you are here on our Lord's charity, so do not try and mess with demons.

-Does that mean I can go back to the Human World? I am not dead..?

-They ain't the smartest ass, that's for sure… Human, you are talking to the six Princes of the Devildom so beware!

-Might be a Prince or something, I almost broke your skull, demon. »

You can't resist the urge to shut them down. This whole situation is surreal, impossible to believe yet you are asked not to question anything. This being said, you have no intention of being a docile little sheep and make things easy for them. If you're going to struggle, so are they. You take a few steps back, breathless, though running away isn't an option as the House's exit is nowhere to be found. Lucifer pinches the bridge of his nose before slapping the back of Mammon's head, pointing finger at the opposite side.

« Go get some water for the human, Mammon.

-Wha? No way I'm doing it! They're just a mere human and I'm a demon, there's some respect to have!

-Then I take you'd like me to hang you from the ceiling for a thousand years once again?

-Gah! No no no, I'll get going, my dear brother!

-Is he a demon or your dog, dude? You can ask him politely. »

The whole corridor turns silent and their brothers are going silent, staring at you in disbelief.

« They won't last long here, I'm telling you…

-Not like I'm planning on living a full long life.

-But didn't you just say you wanted to go back to the Human World?

-I'd rather die up there than down here. »

The light brown haired one -Asmodeus- giggles as he puts his hand over his mouth. Hah, They definitely are a funny one.. Well, not so funny to Lucifer who sighs yet again, taking his phone out of his jacket.

« Bring them back to their room. I will call Diavolo. »

Without wasting any more words, Lucifer proceeds to leave, the sound of his loafers growing distant as he goes back to his office. Soon enough, the others do as well and go one by one, leaving you with Mammon who just got back from the kitchen. He's accompanied by a gigantic, muscled red hair; and despite his imposing look, this demon is the one who makes you the most at ease. As soon as he starts talking, you feel a sense of comfort for the first time since you got here.

« Mammon, I'm hungry.

-And I don't wanna look after some random ass human, so get over it Beel! »

Mammon runs his hand through his messy hair before pointing a finger at you.

« Listen close. You should feel honored that I, the Great Mammon, Avatar of Greed, is watching over you! So don't get ahead of yourself, duh!

-... So all of you have a sin assigned to you?

-I'd rather say we are their representations. » Beel answers, a preoccupied look on his face. « This isn't the case for every demon, though. »

You sense something weird here. You're sure you only saw six of them… Maybe the last one isn't here, but they referred to themselves as the “Six Rulers of the Underworld„. Keeping a safe distance between you and the two demons, you finally ask another question. You're not sure why you haven't been able to calm down before, why the panic hit you that hard. … I'd say it's a rather normal reaction to have; for someone who just ended up in hell in some exchange program without their consent.

« Then I guess you also sent demons up in the Human World? »

Beel and Mammon exchange gazes in silence as you finally arrive in front of the door leading to your room. You look away before talking again, changing the subject.

« So there is another human here, from what you've told what?

-Yeah, angels too. Though you'll probably won't relate too much to that human, he's a sorcerer so Solomon is more familiar to the Devildom than you are.

-Don't eat anything he cooks if you value your life!

-I don't. »

You just arrived yet you feel there are so many things they're hiding from you. Angels are here too? You aren't sure if you should laugh or cry… How cruel, that it happens to you in particular. After thanking both of them, you enter the bedroom and slam the door, not allowing them in your little haven. You need some time to process everything you've been told, even if you aren't sure you'll ever accept this. There you are, in this room full of a sweet woody smell, trying to pick up the lock on your window.

Ugh… As you clench your fists, you feel heavy tears running down your cheeks. They're all so wary of you… Though you are treating them the same way.

After a few hours, a knock on your door is to be heard. Considering you don't hear Mammon and Beel chatting in front of your room, you assume that is someone else. You were able to calm down and stop crying but you're still in your bed, wrapped under your blanket, staring at the wall. Considering you don't answer and they knock two times again, the two strangers finally open the door and stand there. The first one is a strong looking demon, dressed up with a red uniform; and the man behind him is a much more reserved one, with deep green hair and a perfect posture. Another demons..? The red one let out a loud, warming laugh as you cover yourself in the blanket even more.

« You're Y/N, aren't you? You probably don't remember me, but I was there when you arrived. You got me worried, fainting at first sight!

-And you are?

-The man in front of you is none other than the Prince of the Devildom itself, Lord Diavolo.

-And besides me is my loyal butler, Barbatos. You can count on us to make your stay as good as it can be. Lucifer informed me about the current issue… »

For the Prince of Hell, well, Devildom, he is quite friendly. But it doesn't change the fact that you're stuck here and it seems it will stay like that.

« Barbatos will look into it as soon as we get back, as to how your application got into our hands. If you aren't the one who applied, it means someone else did it on your behalf. » Diavolo seems bothered by the fact that you got here without having your word to say. « This being said… Would you mind giving it a try ? I would appreciate if you at least let me explain why I've decided to create this exchange. »

He seems more trustworthy than those brothers who either look stupid, or horrible… You simply nod as an answer, okay with letting him give you his explanation. Both him and Barbatoa smile at you in response, as the Prince keeps on talking.

« I've got the idea of an exchange program between the three worlds : the Devildom, the Celestial Realm and the Human World. Why is that? I think that hostile relationships won't lead us anywhere. This program is an attempt to create a safe space between our worlds, as well as forging solid bonds to guarantee the Devildom a splendid future. This is why we've sent four students in the Human Worlds and the Celestial Realm; and why there are two angels and two humans down here. If you have trouble bonding with demons, I am sure these three ones will provide you comfort and support.

-In no way you are here as a form of punishment, Y/N, that is what the young Master is trying to say. You are the bridge between humans and demons, and we… Both saw a lot of potential in you. »

Are you that easy to read? Barbatos seems to have zero trouble figuring out your fears. He smiles politely, with all the etiquette you could think of. An exchange for the sake of both three worlds, huh? You did hear some witch stories in the Human World, but you've always been taught to reject such beliefs. You are here to help them, so… Maybe they'll be able to help you as well? Who knows.

« What exactly are you expecting from me? Isn't it dangerous for a human to stay here?

-Of course it is. Some demons don't agree with my vision, that is why you've been put under the protection of the seven brothers. They are… Special, of course, but all of them have a good heart deep down, as hard as it is for you to imagine. They might take some time to open up to you but… I've got a strong feeling that you're the one they need. »

So on top of that, you are supposed to be some demons' therapist? The world's upside down, huh… Diavolo appears to understand your doubts and proceed to continue his explanation.

« You are going to attend classes at the RAD; the Royal Academy of Diavolo. You'll have courses to pass and tasks to complete, which can be summed up as dance battles. I hope it makes sense. »

Not really. How are dance battles supposed to help with peace in the world? Meh. If that's what the Prince's saying, you'll have to take it as truth. Both of them look at you, hoping for your answer.

« I… Guess I can give it a try. But can't I go live with the two angels and the other human? Those brothers… They don't seem to be happy to have me around.

-They'll warm up, I promise. They'll never do anything to hurt you, so don't be afraid. >>

Even if the idea of going back to school scares you, as you left school a few years ago, you faintly smile as Barbatos walks towards you, handing you a device that looks like a phone.

« Here's your D.D.D. You will be able to access your task on the main screen, as well as the brothers' numbers, Lord Diavolo and mine if you need anything. Welcome to the Devildom, Y/N. »

And this is how your story in the Devildom began. Once the Prince and his butler left, you go back under your blankets, to get some sleep before your first day at RAD tomorrow. What will happen? Well, it is going to be up to you and your choices.

… Why the hell is someone knocking at your door in the middle of the night, now?

•••

Who will knock on your door? Let me know in the comments. :)

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beel #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me x reader #obey me shall we date #obey me x neutral reader #fanfiction #open choices fanfiction #writing blog

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qweerhet · 1 year

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@ anon re: lesbianism, incest kinks, and general trauma re: kink positivity: i do sympathize very strongly with your overall situation, and the trauma you’re working through is incredibly raw and difficult. however, i don’t know you, and i’m not involved in your life; i am the wrong person to work through this trauma with. i also feel uncomfortable posting your ask publicly; while you had good intentions, i think that ask is too personal and raw for me to feel comfortable throwing it into the maw of the public internet.

the intersection of trauma+kink is often incredibly contentious, and it can be distressing for a variety of reasons to encounter kink that interacts with your trauma symptoms in an oppositional manner. however, unfortunately, working through that intersection involves years of support, primarily by a strong community that’s willing to offer support tailored to your individual needs; i can’t give you a catch-all answer, or an easy ten-step program to reach peace and understanding coexisting with the wide variety of psychological profiles you’ll encounter in the world.

the fact of the matter is, people with kinks that are disgusting and triggering to you will always exist, and it is impossible to get rid of them through education, because kinks are not based in rational thought. they are something that tends to be innate, groinal responses and psychological profiles that are embedded in the deepest parts of someone’s subconscious, just as deeply as “which genders turn me on” and “what body parts make me horny.” indeed; the line between a kink and a “normal” sexual desire is entirely culturally constructed, to the point that there is no scientific evidence for their distinction apart from the cultural decision to pathologize or otherwise set apart a particular sexual interest. with this said, there is no universal answer to how to navigate an interaction between an unchangeable fact about the plethora of human experiences in the world, and another unchangeable fact about the plethora of human experiences in the world (some people will always experience disgust or trauma triggers in response to certain stimulus). it’s all down to you, your needs, and how your community (people in your IRL life who are dedicated to supporting one another materially) can support you.

i can, briefly, say this: dogpiling is an internet behavior, not one inherent to any particular community, kink, or avowed set of politics. no matter what opinion you express on the internet, particularly in spaces like twitter or tiktok, you’ll be liable to get dogpiled for it. there isn’t a good answer for this one, either; the issue is structural and embedded in web 2.0, which is designed to encourage abuse and mass harm for the sake of profit and engagement. blocking is helpful. private accounts are helpful. using anonymous pseudonyms, never showing your face, and lying about details of your identity are all helpful. moving away from social media that’s tailored to mass visibility and engagement (twitter, tiktok) and towards social media that has a bit more ability to curate your audience (tumblr, dreamwidth, mastodon instances) can be helpful.

but at the end of the day, modern social media is designed to rub your trauma raw and bring you into contact with the absolute worst people for you, personally. your engagement with social media in the 2020s will continuously run the risk of destroying the safety you have curated for yourself. it’s immoral! it’s awful! and unfortunately, you can’t escape it by surrounding yourself with the Correct Opinions, or trying to get others to have the Correct Opinions.

#it is morally righteous and emperically necessary to abolish apple and google #and meta!#and we will never experience the autonomy to curate our own online spaces #until we do this

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an-aura-about-you · 4 months

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I Was a Queer Salvation Army Bell Ringer

Part 3: So What Were My Coworkers Like?

I mentioned in the previous part that the Salvation Army is not a hive mind. They are an Equal Opportunity Employer and, much like the US Army for some time, their policy on queer employees is Don't Ask Don't Tell. Granted, they needed to find queer employees for their propaganda, or at least employees willing to say they were queer for the cameras. But in any case, considering the Salvation Army's reputation that they have no organization-wide interest in rectifying and the fact that I live in a very conservative area of the United States, I decided that I would keep my queer identity primarily to myself.

And like, I am generally a pretty open and out person regarding that. If you are reading this and you, yourself, are not queer, the truth of the matter is coming out is not a one-and-done thing. A person may choose to come out to certain people but not others. A person may choose to come out to a complete stranger just because that's where the conversation leads. A person may choose to come out about part of their identity but not all of it, or may use a term that more people are comfortable or familiar with.

For example, I don't typically go into all the nuances of my gender identity with others unless they have made it clear they're signed on to listen. For my day to day life, I tend to let people assume I'm my assigned gender at birth since I dress in a way that aligns with what people expect for that. (Not completely, but that is a tangent for another day.) And if someone is cool with something beyond that, I tend to go with the term "nonbinary" rather than any of the more niche terms I use for my gender. Because ultimately, that's for me. My identity is mine. I am very fortunate to be in a position where any gender-related issues I have with my body don't necessarily have to be solved with surgery, and I know this is not the case for anyone. But I am the sort of person who can let my gender be mine and not worry about correcting the majority of people who are determined to get it wrong.

So yeah, coasting through this job in the closet.

For the most part, I didn't meet a lot of my coworkers. Because I still have my normal job, the primary time I had any shifts was Saturdays, and even then I had a late start of it due to other obligations. The person I saw the most was the woman who actually hired me, the head of the red kettle program.

She was, for the most part, pretty okay. She would drive me to where I was supposed to ring for the day, we would shoot the shit, she even bought me a soda once. She also said I was valuable as a worker specifically BECAUSE I was willing to come to work on Saturdays. She even gave me a bag of plums and apples. (The plums were ok and the apples were Red Delicious, which were definitely red.)

She was also, perhaps, a bit unprofessional and a little less than moral.

She talked about other bell ringers who didn't exactly perform well behind their backs, complained about a former donor who didn't donate a car this year, and, when I wanted to go to a pay-for-entry market, insisted I just sneak in without paying using my Salvation Army apron to let me in.

She also let me know something I should have realized before but didn't fully get until she said it: the bell ringers' pay comes out of donations. Not just any donations but specifically the donations from their own kettles. Any time I went out and rang the bell, my pay was a cut from the kettle. It does make sense, it being a non-profit organization. Of course everyone's pay came from donations. But this? This just makes the red kettles glorified panhandling in my mind.

In one sense, I'm for that. Indeed, the quickest way to solve a person's financial problems is giving them money. And more of it going directly to the bell ringers, most if not all of the hired ones not being merely lower class like me but actually in outright poverty, is better than it going to an organization where the head of this program is complaining about not getting another car they don't actually need.

In another sense, it does feel a little underhanded, and added to my personal moral dilemma of working there. More on that in another entry.

And honestly, there's not really much to say about my other coworkers as individuals as I hardly saw them. One of the drivers is an obvious Trump supporter as he was never seen without his Trump 2024 hat. Most of the other people were scraping by on the cusp of homelessness, taking up residence in an apartment complex that charges rent by the week. Some had pasts that involved jail time for stupid charges (ie marijuana possession, missing a court date, etc.), job loss, or crushing amounts of debt.

I did have an unexpected conversation with one coworker that, at this point, has been my last in-person interaction with anyone involved with the Salvation Army, but I will leave that story for another entry.

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cyanocoraxx · 1 year

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idk what this is man. i just felt a need to drabble stuff abt early days mecha n i’m gonna do one for bby metal meeting them early on as well

---

"Interview C with hedgehog-series model 1, designation 'Mecha Sonic.' Unit Mecha Sonic, please respond."

Mecha looked up to greet its creator diligently, exactly as programmed. "Responding. I am Mecha Sonic. What is your query."

Eggman took a seat and gestured for his machine to do the same. "Hello, Mecha. Can I still call you Mecha?"

Mecha hesitated for a moment before processing the suggestion. It slowly sat down on the seat opposite its creator, moving with the precise yet clunky grace of a newly-built machine. Then, it responded with its usual flat tone. "The designation that pertains to me is of no interest. It has little bearing on my function nor my efficiency. Refer to me as you wish."

"Mecha it is then. Mecha, do you remember me?"

Mecha gave a single nod of affirmation. "Certainly, doctor. It has been thirty six hours since our last exchange. My memory capacity is currently," it paused, its tone of voice defaulting to a pre-recorded setting, "one hundred and two hours."

Eggman grinned at the news - it was a steady improvement and exactly what he wanted to hear. "That's much better than yesterday. Do you know why I'm speaking to you today, Mecha?"

"Indeed. You wish to address me on the subject of my efficiency." Mecha answered matter-of-factly.

"Pardon?" Eggman tilted his head just a little, conveying confusion.

Mecha took note of that social signal and logged it diligently. Then, it focused on responding verbally. "Efficiency, doctor. It is the Eggman Empire's highest priority. Without high efficiency, the Empire is not self-sufficient enough to fulfill its goals."

"An astute deduction."

"Perhaps. However, there is an evident pattern in our exchanges. When you address me, it is often for the same reason. You have come to identify if my operations are normal, if any changes have occurred in my code, and to assess the risks I may pose to the interests of the Eggman Empire."

"Outstanding analysis. Now, Mecha, I need to ask you some questions. Just answer them as best as you can, if you don't know the answer, that's fine."

"Of course, doctor. Present your queries and I shall answer to the best of my capabilities."

Eggman started with something that sounded easy to him, but perhaps confusing to the days-old AI before him. "Alright. So... are you enjoying your time here? Do you enjoy your current work?" He cringed the slightest bit at his choice of leading question, realizing it might turn the cogs in Mecha's mind a little too much. He was still wary of overworking Mecha’s AI chip at this point, for it was still very new and developing.

Fortunately, Mecha answered simply and honestly. "I neither enjoy nor dislike my work, rather, I merely excel at specific tasks. I do excel at my work in this base, according to my current list of tasks. All of my tasks have been completed for today. In addition, they were completed seventeen percent faster than yesterday."

"Well, I'll call that happiness for you then." Eggman cleared his throat briefly and leaned forward, clasping his hands on the table. "Now, Mecha, tell me about... humans."

Mecha took a long pause, very clearly processing something that didn't make sense to it. "That is not a valid query, doctor. Rather, that is an open statement. Would you prefer me to speak freely on my knowledge of the subject, or do you possess a specific query."

"Erm- yes. That's fine, just go on. Sorry for the confusion."

"You need not apologize. Humans are bipedal, diurnal, highly social creatures with complex social structures and methods of communication. Humans are omnivorous beings that are capable of consuming a wide variety of animal and plant material. Despite these adaptations, they are... fragile, and require extensive guidance. Most members of the species do not compare to your own intelligence."

"You flatter me, my boy. The others can be stupid, sure - but they are alive, and many living things are just... less intelligent. So, are you a living entity, Mecha?"

"I am entirely artificial, doctor. I am not alive in any sense. I am incapable of experiencing death, nor fear, sadness, or happiness. From my analysis, an ability to experience the end of life, as well as a range of primitive emotion, is what separates many species, particularly mammalian ones, from inorganic creatures. However, there is a swathe of other creatures that are primitive in both function and biology. These, too, are living."

Dropping his earlier worries, Eggman proceeded down this line of conversation. The AI’s abilities were fascinating to witness in action, and he wanted to know more. "I see, I see. Does being inorganic validate your existence somehow?"

Mecha mirrored the body language of its creator perfectly, tilting its head to one side. "I have not investigated this line of self-exploration as of yet. However, I indeed have a query for you, perhaps to aid me in this discovery. If one was to map the brain of an animal, perhaps a Flicky, and you proceeded to feed these variables into a machine that can perfectly execute this primitive behaviour, what would differentiate this new existence from the original being? Is this artificial existence, too, a Flicky?"

Eggman scratched his head. "No, it's... a machine. But, I guess- is this hypothetical Flicky conscious? Can it feel?"

"Is an artificial intelligence conscious in the same manner as a typical organic creature? How does one quantify the experience?"

"It depends, Mecha. Things are advancing in this field, and you... you're the pinnacle of our efforts. But I doubt this Flicky is the exact same as the original. Like you said, you can’t quantify the feeling. We can’t know for sure, not yet at least."

An confusing response that did not answer the AI’s question fully. Mecha would need to delve into this topic in its free time, if it could dedicate enough processing space towards it. It logged this for further investigation.

(If only it knew it would get the answer straight from its brothers a year from now. Its brothers were alive, just not conventionally.)

After processing that, Mecha gave a single nod. "Indeed. Therefore, based on current understanding, I am not a living being. I am separate from the organic experience. However, you refer to this unit as... a hedgehog, as well as a ‘boy’, in your terms. Perhaps this is because you desire a social connection with units such as myself by assigning them an organic label. As I said prior, refer to me as you wish. This is merely an observation."

"My machines are like family to me, Mecha. Of course I'm going to give them names, treat them like anyone else- within reason, of course. I mean, I do create them to kill and- and risk having them destroyed. It's why I make so many, you know?"

Mecha took pause. "This, doctor, is inefficiency in action. You require these machines for the greater good of the Empire. To expend time and resources on social bonding with them, when they often cannot reciprocate in any capacity, is... inefficient. You do not attempt to bond with me in the same manner that humans bond with other humans, yet you appear to make greater efforts to speak with me than your other machines. I do not understand your choice. It is paradoxical to me."

"Does it bother you, Mecha?"

Mecha paused, rolling that word around in its head thoughtfully. "Bother me... I do not understand. Please, rephrase your query."

"If someone kept treating me differently to other people, I'd be angry. Maybe alienated?”

Mecha spoke without pause. "This is because you are human, and thus, inherently short-sighted."

"How is that short-sighted? It's justifiable." Eggman asked shortly. He seemed taken aback, and Mecha fell silent for a long moment.

"It is a statement based on my current analysis. Is this form of analysis offensive to humans, or is this statement excessively generalized in a manner that causes you anger?"

"It's offensive to call all of us short-sighted." Eggman replied, at first a little gruffly, but he quickly softened back up. Of course, a machine as young as Mecha wouldn't understand social norms or cues yet. It meant no harm. "It's alright. Statements like that are generalized. I know you're a killing machine, but you don't need to be rude about humans whilst you're at it. I created you, after all."

"Forgive me, doctor. I do not wish to offend, for this would lower repoire and thus decrease our working efficiency. Allow me to rephrase. I will first re-state that your intelligence is advanced compared to other beings of your species. Now, for one to be... angered, if I use the term correctly, by the actions of others, one is unable to process expected results effectively ahead of time. This is because humans are seldom granted the foresight of quantitative and qualitative analysis. It is unnecessary for an artificial intelligence such as myself to experience these primitive emotions, for I already know the outcomes of any task I endeavour to complete."

"Fascinating. Mecha, your use of words just gets better and better. I'm proud of the work I've done on you." Eggman reached over and patted the hedgehog-series on the head. It did not react, typical of it right now.

"Advancement, upgrades, adaptation. These are concepts that I believe are familiar to artificial intelligences such as myself." Mecha affirmed its creator's statement, completely without pride for itself. It could not feel pride, nor satisfaction. These were mere observations, or perhaps more accurately, data. However, I note that you used the term 'better', which suggests a past or present shortcoming. Recount to me any perceived failures I may have encountered so that I may maximize my efficiency."

"No, no, you haven't failed. In fact, you're doing great. So, I want to talk to you about new opportunities. New responsibilities, if you will." (He just hoped it wasn’t too early. And it was. Mecha was doomed to fail, too young to understand the world outside of the databanks it clung to for information. Intelligent but just a child.)

Mecha sat upright, awaiting its orders. It had already opened its internal logs to record the new task. "State your proposition. I will log it for a thorough analysis and will state whether I am functional enough for the endeavour."

"You know why you were created, don't you?"

Mecha took a long pause before speaking. Its voice quickly defaulted to its original monotone, pre-recorded setting. "Priority one: hedgehog. Priority two: serve the Eggman Empire."

"Perfect. Now, Mecha... I think it's time you started on priority one. The longer we wait, the more chance there is to fail."

"This is the optimum decision for maximizing the effiency of the Eggman Empire. The hedgehog must be eliminated as soon as possible."

"Exactly. As part of this, I have an experiment for you. It’s not an easy one, I’ll admit. But I have faith in you."

Mecha tilted its head quizzically. In response, Eggman took a red emerald from his pocket and gingerly placed it on the table before his creation. Mecha's gaze fell down to the emerald, quickly scanning it and taking in everything it could about the unusual object. It radiated strong energy - Chaos energy, from what Mecha could decipher. A quick search of the Empire's databanks informed it that this object was extremely powerful, and this power could be harnessed. Mecha swiftly put two and two together and, decidedly, it looked up to Eggman for further instruction.

"This is your new task. I want you to learn Chaos Control. Report back to me when you've mastered it."

(It would dedicate days upon days pushing itself to the limit. Completing the task was the main priority, regardless of the damage it caused. Indeed, it completed the task. Yet, no amount of textbook efficiency would save it from failure in the field against priority one.)

"Affirmative, doctor. I shall proceed at once. You may expect a comprehensive report in approximately five days."

“Perfect. End of interview C with hedgehog-series model 1.”

(It completed its task and was left to rust when it failed priority one. A failure just like the prototypes before it. The novelty of its intelligence would wear off after that.)

#mine #fanfiction #mecha sonic #<3 #i missed the best boi #long post #remembers that metal was mechas replacement and weeps #at least mecha's failure meant that metal came into existence

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despair-to-future-arcs · 6 months

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Izuru perfect timing! I was originally going to ask how Hajime feels about going all goth after everything is done and over!

...Is that question important?

I guess they are curious how Hajime is feeling about all this.

I see... well, to put it simply he was very tired but when I offer to take over for him... he became quite stubborn...

...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The actual hell?! Why would I give up my body to the likes of you! There's no way I'm doing that after everything we all been through!

But even then, you seem tired and not able to spend time with your friends, am I correct?

Well yes I am but as long as they return back to normal, away from despair then that's all that matters to me.

And why would you care; you never care about a single damn thing ever since your creation so why does it matter?

Because I know Nagi would want that and I'm sure she would understand...

...!?

Look... I'm not saying you have to like me, honestly I could care less about anyone else but I know you would want your friends to come back, so how about we make a deal...

I can do all the programming and surgery for your friends that die in the simulation, it could help all of us and make things go faster if I do all of it and as more of the virus is remove, you'll be seeing less of me.

And? What do you get out of this...?

Not much really, as say I do think it might be a good idea if I do the programming and return all your friends away from despair.

While Junko did make things 'interesting' it was still boring to me and seeing the killing game; I could see you all fighting for your futures and I suppose that inspired me as well...

So I guess to answer, this would be my 'redemption' to you, to restore the others and return them back to normal; I took away their home and this might be the way to redeem myself...

...

I see, so your going to do all the programming and restoring my friends, very well... I'll allow it but on the condition that I get to spend time with them before we get back to work, I think that be a fair agreement.

Very well... I'll do that but remember that as more and more of that virus is remove, I'll appear less and less...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

...

Sooo if I'm understanding this right; your just here to help with programming and surgery?

Indeed, that is what I'm here for... that'll all be what I'm doing but Hajime shall return after Mahiru Koizumi is awake.

So Hajime isn't completely gone, just that Izuru is fronting Hajime right now...

Well the question wasn't that important but still that does explain a lot.

I suppose so but I rather wait until I finish eating and Nagi can ask me questions...

#dr #danganronpa #dtfa #despair to future arc #fs:rw #future side: re write #sdr2 #super danganronpa 2 #izuru kamukura #nagi nanami #hajime hinata #fuyuhiko kuzuryu #sonia nevermind #anonymous #fs ep 6

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thedeliverygod · 6 months

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just as a more thorough update before I go to bed for anyone worried about me

so like, I'm employed by a company that outsources me to a "partner" company. So I was laid off by the "partner" and I'm technically still employed, for now.

Currently I'm still doing work for the partner I'm being laid off from and was told there's "no rush to leave". Probably because it's going to be fucking impossible to do the job with the amount of people left when we actually do leave, but ya know...

Downside: The only other positions with other "partners" right now are all very customer service and/or sales heavy. My mental health was shit ~before~ I got news about this lay off and I swore off customer service after I went through literal hell at Banfield and then was forced to return to being a vet receptionist again in 2020 even though I didn't want to but my temp job ended and I needed something ASAP. And then of course covid-19 became a thing and people became shittier than ever before.

Before I even knew I was officially laid off I was given an offer to apply to one of these phone heavy customer service positions and today I told my program manager that I have to decline for my mental health. She had said in the group chat on slack that a new partner would be posting positions soon so I asked if there was one that was only email/chat and she said she believed there would be. While it's still not my preference, I believe I can at least manage chat and email a lot more than I can handle being on the phone and/or on video chats. So I am waiting to hear on that alongside applying to jobs on indeed in the meantime.

Upside(?): I so far am able to keep clocking in and get paid and continue to have health insurance. Not to mention use my EAP which I literally just signed up for on Monday before all this shit went down to get 3 free sessions of therapy... so my first appointment for that is on Sunday afternoon. How long this will last before needing to find a new position within the company I'm not sure.

I'm high key hoping they just come to their senses and realize their company is going to fucking fail with such a small workforce and a large amount of incoming business. But I'm also not holding my breath.

Also unfortunately my stomach is heavily intertwined with my emotional state so I haven't been able to eat well a lot of days in the past 2 weeks because of all the fuckery going on and I just really want to feel (somewhat) normal again. Ironically I had a really big and good meal right before I found out they were going to be laying off about 50% of the team so at least timing worked out in my favor for that.

#long post #life update

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seafood-33 · 1 year

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2014-03-28

Two interviews after 2014 worlds, Javier talked about Yuzuru, how skating after Yuzuru, and about Yuzuru giving him wearing OG gold medal in TCC.

Interview by Canon (translation from echotpe in goldenskate forum)

Q: Congratulation to your bronze medal. Did you feel regrettable the result while you were second in SP?

J: Indeed, I was somewhat careless in LP. Machida performed great in both program. Yuzu is a super star with potential, as we have known. Although he was third in SP, I could not guess the finale result.

Actually, I aimed to get another color of medal (besides bronze). But with such strong competitors on same rink, I was satisfied with the results.

Q: The order of appearance made Javier unease?

J: It was quite unease in order of appearance this time. I didn’t watch the performance of Machida on the field. But I knew his status was great. And then, I saw Yuzu got very high scores in LP.

While competing in Japan, I experienced very nervous after Yuzu. The audience excitedly cheered for him. I needed to go on ice with many flowers and gifts on the rink. I almost kicked one child this time.

But suddenly, the audience was quiet to let me focus and applauded while announcing my name. When I finished the LP, 18,000 audiences stood to applaud for me. Wow, I felt flattered. I do love Japanese audience!

(In fact, the behavior of the audience is directed by Yuzuru. Watch this video)

Q: How to jump a quad easily like you?

J: It might need some talent. (joke) There are two Quad jump factions. The Russian one relies on spins, and the North American one focuses on speed. For myself, I use normal speed to lead the jump. If the speed is over, it won’t be successful of a quad.

On the other hand, muscle portion is various by individual. For example, Yuzu looks slim, but he has all muscles needed. The way he jumps don’t need the large muscles, and it is same to me.

Q: As an athlete, sometimes your ambitions is seemed not enough?

J: Well, I know the necessity of ambition in competing career. However, I am glad to see supporters (fans) cheered for my well performance. The sharing cheer with them is more important than the winning itself.

Once a day, when nobody comes to watch my performance and cheer for me, I will definitely retire. The audience’s applauds and flowers are part of a competition, which let me feel the existence. It is more important than the scores themselves and make me happier.

Q: Any words to Brain Orser coach?

J: I would thank him for never giving me up all the time. He is so patient and nice to mentor my motivation and believe that I can achieve to goals one day. As an athlete, sportsman and person, Orser coach is a father of my Toroto days; I respect him in all ways.

Q: And how about Yuzu?

J: His talent, hardworking and passion to skating are such outstanding, which encourage me. And his team also works hard in any ways. Yuzu always focuses on ice training, as it is reasonable to do so.

He does not change a bit even he got the Olympics gold medal. He didn’t become lazy, take excuses or become complacent. It’s a way I think a world champion should be.

When he came back to Toroto after Sochi Olympics, he gave me to wear his heavy medal. And then, I make my mind to aim the gold medal in PyeongChang Olympics 2018.

Interview by Sports Hochi

(SP) 3rd place Yuzuru Hanyu scored 191.35 with stable performances such as deciding the first quad Salchow of the season. He took first place with a total of 282.59 points, winning his first gold medal and becoming the second Japanese in four years to win a gold medal in the event.

（ＳＰ）３位の羽生結弦は、今季初の４回転サルコウを決めるなど安定した演技で１９１・３５点。合計２８２・５９点で１位となり初優勝、日本人４年ぶり２人目の金メダルを獲得した。

Yuzuru Hanyu: "(The reason for winning) is willpower. It was willpower and spirit. （I was very tired (at the end). I haven't won a World Championships since 2002, when I became an Olympic Champion. I hope I was able to get a little closer to the athletes I admired."

羽生結弦「（勝因は）意地です。意地と気合だった。（最後は）かなり疲れていた。五輪のチャンピオンになって世界選手権で優勝したのは２００２年のヤグディンさん以来。憧れていた選手たちにちょっとでも近づけたかな」

Javier Fernandez: "I am happy with the bronze medal. Yuzuru (Hanyu) gave an even better performance. Winning the Olympics and the World Championships is amazing. He is the best of the best."

ハビエル・フェルナンデス「銅メダルはうれしい。ユヅル（羽生）がさらに素晴らしい演技を見せた。五輪と世界選手権で優勝はすごい。彼はベスト・オブ・ベストだ」

Source

Canon interview Javier Fernandez

(English translation in goldenskate)

日刊スポーツ：2014年3月29日付

2014 世界選手権フリー（会場音）

優勝後のインタビューと+表彰式

Full list from 2011 to present

#yuzuru hanyu #yuzuvier #ハビゆづ #javier fernandez

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transcendentxchronicles · 1 year

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continued from here due to beta editor. @more-than-a-princess

Togami continued to click inside of his own brain as he shared the room with Sonia, the air thick with silence -- something that he typically didn’t have an issue with, but here, it felt more strangling than anything. While Byakuya was very much a person that someone could akin to anti-social, when faced with interpersonal relationships, ones between just him and another, he could at least speak a bit freer and be just a smidge more honest.

This was especially true around Sonia.

Emerald hues looked at her as she spoke her idiom, and then questioned him about it, as if she unsure. For whatever reason or another, this little interaction bought a smile to his face.

“Yes, that is how it goes,” he responded, giving her a nod, wanting her to revel in the small victory she used to fumble over. Imagine Togami giving anyone else a confidence boost or any type of self encouragement. A true testament of his change as a person. Regardless, she went right back to business afterwards.

“The translation work looks fine,” he said quietly, looking at the stack of papers. “Amazing, even. I don’t believe I could’ve done better myself, if I am to be truly honest.”

He paused once the dark topic came back up. His voice got a little low when she brought up that his power wasn’t as absolute as he made it sound. “I know, Sonia. I know. Munekata, quite frankly, can fuck himself.” Of all the people in the Future Foundation, it was no secret that Byakuya Togami was NOT a fan of Kyosuke Munakata. He very well made that expression known of his distaste of him. At the very least, he tried to stay amicable when they were forced to share the same air space, but if Togami could avoid it, he definitely did.

“Being fair, Sonia,” he took his glasses off and sat them on the desk to the left of him, “Nowhere is safe for anyone. Yes, there are safe places for some people, but everywhere else? Can be just as dangerous.”

While sounding like a broken record for repeating her name so much, he felt inclined to continue to say her name whenever he could to try and humanize her a person, and not a monster. He was aware of how she felt about herself, and how she felt about her ‘friends’ and how she wanted to be treated. As she said, he had seen her interactions in the Neo World Program. She wanted to be normal. Treated normally. It was a stark comparison to him, at least to past him, though Byakuya still had a few ego issues. He stood up and turned to the window, looking at the sandy shores and waves crashing.

“To the heart seeking freedom, this island is a prison surrounded by water. But right now, it’s your safest spot. I know it isn’t your ideal place, but all I can do is make it feel like home.... however you define that as.”

He sighed and put his glasses back on. “We’re done for the day, but I’d like to spend more time with you, if you can a) believe that, and b) would like to. Not as any of this Future Foundation stuff. Just as Byakuya Togami and Sonia Nevermind. Old... friends.”

Maybe she’d remember that. The time before despair. Even if he was stuck up, Byakuya did indeed spend time with her due to higher statuses. Maybe it was something that could pull her mind away from the hatred of herself.

#morethanaprincess #★ the extraordinaire heir » togami #( she can have her one win. can togami have his? )

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hermitcatlongposts · 1 year

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What is this game?

I mean it is a video game indeed. What does it really mean to me? What does this game stand for? Why is it being made at all?

What I'm about to say next is gonna be so hazardously cliche that you might wanna brace yourself. The journey of developing this game was a journey of self discovery. Yes I too am cringing at what I said. But not self discovery as in oh I didn't know who I was and now I suddenly do. I always knew who I was since young age. It's discovery of how intense the "who I am"-ness goes. In fact, someone more sane and reasonable than me would say it's so much that it's counterproductive.

I actually did talk about a platformer game I used to work on like a year ago at SubscribeStar. I gave up on it because I was making it just because I was told by my environment at the time that it's the best route for beginners. I like neither "minimalist" graphics nor platformer genre. Also making vector art was so painful for me.

So the significance of my current touhou clone project is that I said fuck you to "minimalist" vector art and started drawing normal, raster art with my mouse. Drawing with mouse was of course equally painful but the difference was that I tapped into my dormant passion for art, like not just a general loose definition of art such as banana taped on wall, but specifically "moving my hands around and laying pigment on a canvas". Digital equivalent, of course. Shortly followed by buying a drawing tablet.

So what this game initially was going to be was just a prototype purely for the sake of learning the ways of programming a bullet hell and a complete game (as opposed to gamejam). But the jagginess of a mouse drawn sprites were just too unbearably and physically painful to look at and it was nothing less than a necessity to redraw with my beloved drawing tablet so at least it'll have smooth edges, easy on the eyes.

hey, amazing opportunity to have a look at old artworks

But, even after all these years of being a game developer I was still hilariously naive. Technically the first game I ever made was in fucking 2015. The first one to be uploaded on the internet was in 2017. It's unbelievable how I still thought foolishly like "Oh yeah I can finish this game in just 3 months. Ha, see ya soon as a proud developer of a released title."

Anyways, the point is that after such a long time of working on it, I suddenly couldn't see myself just throwing it away as a prototype intended for no one to seriously play it. So the game evolved into "at least a proper game". Which was actually a great decision because, I could release an utterly bare bone prototype that only just serves to have the core idea of a bullet hell touhou clone in terms of programming. But if I did that, I would spend ten years on my second project because that would-be prototype is still nowhere near enough of a programming school. What I didn't realize in the past is how enormous the difference between just spewing out prototype code and meticulously developing a full game with all little mini-mechanics and mini-systems working in harmony. So by spending more time on my first project, I will be spending less time on my second.

I thought that's what the game was gonna be. Just a nice and proper game that I won't feel any shame about purposefully making it garbage like I was originally planning to. Someone sane might say that would be very reasonable place to stop but here comes the part where I expand upon what I said at the beginning about it being a journey of realization of the depths of my personality coming at a detriment of productivity, as in how fast I produce products.

You know how the dress of my player character looks. It's a reference to that platformer game. I am a craftsman through and through (please don't take it as I'm jerking my own dick, I'm just trying to communicate myself clearly). I have emotional connection to my creations for I see them as something that is real and has meaning. I'm not a producer pumping out products on a conveyor belt feeding the bottomless vortex of consumerism. So instead of completely cutting that old platformer game out of my life like it was nothing at all, I decided to pay homage to it as elements in my current game. Basically an easter egg that only extremely few, like 2 or 3 people will recognize. Although it was abandoned for legitimate reasons, I respect it as my first attempt at serious, non-gamejam game. And I immortalize it's legacy this way.

You might remember this flipping tile thing was actually made long ago. But instead of having just a random nothing as a texture, I made it a throwback to one of the key elements of Square Heart (the name of the platformer game, btw), the iconic blue crates and outlines that light up when the player walks over them. Btw the loading is intentionally slowed down to show the spinning border lights more clearly. It doesn't load that slowly in reality lol. Wait, that means players are not gonna really see the thing I spent so much time making...

This is how the player would respawn. Just pop right back up. I mean there is nothing wrong with it. It's a classic animation in all the arcade shooter games.

What I decided to do however is a throwback to how the player character of SquareHeart respawned.

This one is gonna appear in only one of the 5 stages because only one has a night sky. This is the iconic minimalist gradient trees that I tried so hard in SquareHeart to be the main attraction. I actually always planned to have no background at all in this game for the sake of not getting way too ridiculously ahead of myself for a first game. Just plop down the skybox I found on the Unity Asset Store. Now that I decided to do this in one of the stages, I have pushed the standard so I have to figure out something for other stages as well. Also the speeding up you see is not the default but just a short section. Inspired by stage 4 of Touhou 8: Imperishable Night, where the boss tries to run away mid-fight and you chase after them. "Chasing" as in just the background scrolling faster, nothing else really.

The bomb, or what's modernly referred to as SpellCard of the player is a legacy that's actually truly lost. Long long ago in 2019, there was an ancestral version of SquareHeart that featured a cutscene that focuses on this circle flower-like talisman thingy. Literally only one person might remember it besides myself.

This one is not part of the SquareHeart. But if you remember, before I actually started to draw, the player character of my bullet hell was a vector art butterfly. In fact, it all started from a game-jam I wrote a blogpost about right here on Tumblr a long time ago. In fact, if I remember correctly that blogpost is the very reason why I created a Tumblr account to begin with. So this butterfly too won't be forgotten. It's now on the other side as a mini-boss. And every other stages will also have butterflies of different design as their mini-bosses.

And, yeah et cetera. There is actually at least one more easter egg to make but I'm yet to come to a final design decision.

I want this game to be actually something more than "just a proper game for the sake of being a proper game", let alone a throwaway prototype. I want this game to have an actual self to stand solid and have meaning to me. And that meaning is that it's the first step of my journey as an artist ("art" as in a form of indie games, not just visual illustration) but also a rightful payment of respect to my first step as just game developer in general. The past should be put to rest respectfully so the future shall flourish in full force.

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