Aware na Beta wa Koi wo Shiranai - By Yashiki Shima (8/10)

A totally toxic butler and master. The A/B/O universe setting isn't too weak here. It focuses on the cult-like idolization of Alphas, and how messed up it actually is. The couple in this one is so dysfunctional that I am sure they will destroy each other.

Friends.

That isn't really a thing between an heir to a big Alpha branch family, and a Beta from a distinguished line of butlers.

Seno used to have a crush on his Alpha master. He started his servant training very young. As he grew he started to become ashamed of his feelings, because great Alpha's should only sleep with rare Omega breeders or other powerful Alphas. Seno's father is a veteran butler, who teaches him this shame. Beta servants are not allowed to lust over their great masters. Seno buries his feelings, even though they were just innocent love. He was only a child. He didn’t really see his master (another child) as a sexual object. It was a crush, and the shame made him forget. The shame made him into a servile robot. He encourages his master to sleep with Omegas as soon as he is of age.

He doesn't know that his master loves him too, and that encouragement drove him crazy.

Ryosuke has a problem. He's wealthy to the point of being a king among men. He is a handsome and healthy alpha, but he's been nursing an obsession with his Beta servant since he was very young.

Nobody knows.

He hides his love.

He behaves the way an Alpha should, and he takes many partners to bed.

Deep at night, in his most private quarters, he begins to experiment. He shoves drugs into Seno's sleeping body, so he can cuddle and kiss (and do horrible things) to his desired partner. Ryosuke can't bite Seno to claim him, and that makes him extra paranoid. One of Seno's close friends is a spy. Ryosuke pays him for updates on Seno's movements.

A weaker Alpha shows interest in Seno. This is mostly because of the drugs. The drugs Seno ingested can't magically make him an Omega, but they do make him more attractive to Alphas. Also he has less control over his lust.

Seno doesn't figure it out.

He just thinks he's lonely, and that's the cause of his um...frequent hot moments.

Their relationship keeps getting more toxic.

The obvious happens. They hook up. Seno rejects it. He feels like he has betrayed his father. His family. Ryosuke must marry and continue his noble bloodline. A Beta like him...doesn't fit.

Ryosuke kidnaps him. Another butler cares for his needs when Ryosuke goes away to attend to business.

It's all very creepy.

Seno is wrecked by guilt. Ryosuke, of course, has a perfect and wealthy fiance.

He thinks he is ruining Ryosuke.

He doesn't know Ryosuke has been a freak for a decade.

Seno also believes Ryosuke's feelings will lead to a disaster. A break up of sorts. Seno can stay with him forever as a butler, but lovers don't last long with Alphas. Most of the Alphas in this universe have multiple wives. Again Ryosuke has been hiding how creepy he actually is, so the kidnapping is a total shock to Seno.

Ryosuke lies.

He says Seno can work as a butler as normal again, if Seno agrees to date him for a week. Really, he just wants Seno to get used to life as a kept man.

Seno tells his father everything.

The finale involves Seno betraying Ryosuke, fleeing back to normalcy, and Ryosuke snapping for real.

especially to you... | masterlist

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction

☂ - angst, ♡ - fluff, ➳ - hurt/comfort, ʚ - external challenges, ɞ - internal challenges

i'm home | tbz lee sangyeon ☂ ♡ ʚ

🌧️: to the izzy who has had many opportunities to go overseas for hobbies and/or academic purposes but turned it all down ⛅: hearing how others had a good time abroad makes me hope that someday if the right time and place comes along, maybe it could be me too

that's him, that's just who he is | tbz kevin moon ☂ ♡ (just a little bit) ʚ ɞ

🌧️: to the izzy who was anxious that she wouldn't be able to get a chance to be on the stage ⛅: my favourite moon, kevin moon!

[17:58] | tbz kim sunwoo ☂ ➳ ɞ

🌧️: to the izzy who is learning to hold on to the happiness that other people can give her and to live in the present moment with them ⛅: dbn loves

[03:21] | tbz kim sunwoo ♡ ➳ ʚ

🌧️: to the izzy that is going through a new journey in her uni life after thinking a lot about the new opportunity given ⛅: izzy, you 100% miss the chances you don't take. you're doing well. congratulations on getting this offer! hold onto hope and believe in yourself!

cupid's mistake | tbz kim sunwoo ☂ ♡ ➳ ʚ ɞ

🌧️: to the izzy that's lost trust ⛅: not everyone is the same

"what do you think of flowers/bouquets?" | tbz ot11 text messages | hyung 🤍 98 🤍 maknae ☂ ♡ ➳ ʚ ɞ

🌧️: to the izzy that is compared to delicate, fragile flowers ⛅: no flowers can grow without the sun and rain

that's him, that's just who he is | tbz choi chanhee | new ☂ ♡ ʚ ɞ

🌧️: to the izzy that is unhealthily obsessed with saving money to the point that misses out on a lot of things and regrets a lot of things ⛅: my favourite penguin and one of my favourite vocal timbre, choi chanhee!

[03:10] | tbz kim sunwoo ☂ ♡ ➳ ʚ ɞ

🌧️: to the izzy that is scared and is stressed about sleeping ⛅: learning to take it step by step and accept that sleeping can be rewarding. thank you to my supportive friends!

yesterday's petal | nct na jaemin ☂ ɞ

🌧️: everyone seems to fit in with each other so easily and so well ⛅: and even though i have friends close to me, who love me as i am, i sometimes can't help but wonder: someday, will i be left out?

every day is a lovely day... | tbz lee juyeon ☂ ♡ ➳ ɞ

🌧️: short reflections about all of earth's life forms and how we all go through different difficulties and challenges ⛅: being appreciative with the world

[00:05] | nct na jaemin

🌧️: i'm living in a high-paced world where time doesn't and will never wait for me ⛅: and as much as i cry over that, i will keep continuing to do my best with every second that i get

one more chance | tbz lee jaehyun | hyunjae (coming soon!)

🌧️: to the girl who made another name for herself to forget all the traumas that was attached with her birth name ⛅: with the new and own-chosen name, the hope to heal and create more lifelong memories

[21:15] | nct na jaemin (coming soon!)

🌧️: the the izzy who hated looking at the mirror ⛅: learning to love how to love every single part of me. thank you to my supportive friends!

untitled | tbz kim sunwoo (coming soon!) collaboration with @??

🌧️: to the girl who threw herself away to stick to the rules ⛅: may you learn to always listen to your heart and what it desires

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿

Tere Bin in 45 mins (Part 2)

Part 1 here before you read this post.

6. Mere saath hi lagalo dil (The voice and eyes - biggest draw for me in any actor)

7. His solo realisation scene is where I was dead sure this guy is one hell of an actor and I was crushing hard, leading me to check out most of his dramagraphy.

8. Jab sukun se bore ho jau, bata de na, aa jaonga

9. A predictable but pivotal point comes in their relationship where they get into a car accident (his doing), but he puts himself in danger to save her. His confession to her after a series of misunderstandings was far more powerful than a ‘I love you’

10. The quintessential move the hair from the cheek scene 😄

Where the show hits rock bottom and stops making sense:

This is where the writer should have started showing Meerab softening towards him, maybe some more angst where she fights her mind with her heart, but after this, the show went downhill in an illogical sequence after sequence - which I can no longer waste my time on! If you catch just their scenes post E20 you will be left wondering what is going on 😂

Anyways - one bonus scene post E20 where we get Murtasim saying a cheesy line. I have no idea why I love this scene so much 😂 Maybe cause it reminded me of ZGH tea scene. No comparison though, ZGH one was epic. In that scene Fawad does magic with his eyes and in this one Wahaj with his deep, husky voice.

Where I stand with the show:

Murtasim had the makings of a Darcy, purely cause of how Wahaj has portrayed this role - he has just the right amount of swag and panache. Wahaj is extremely versatile without a doubt, but his biggest plus point is how well he emotes the feeling of being in love. Obviously, the writer did not have the Darcy vision, so the writing of Murtasim was a bit toxic in the initial episodes and some red flags emerged on and off in later episodes which were inconsistent given his character’s growth.

Yumna and Wahaj have undeniably great chemistry, but as the scenes progress you realise Meerab being cold to Murtasim’s growing feelings becomes kill joy after a point. The writer and director have missed the opportunity to tap the potential of these two actors, especially Wahaj who could romance a stone and still melt our hearts! Yumna (from her other drama I am watching with Wahaj) is very comfortable and good in soft & emotional scenes (as evident in the post accident scene). I would have loved to see Meerab softening towards Murtasim’s genuine efforts, her heart and mind battling towards her growing feelings for him, confession and then them settling into marital bliss. But the writer has pushed the audience into an abyss of illogical sub-plots and conniving,obsessive cousin that make no sense. The writer has done so much harm to Meerab’s character to the point that her redemption arc will take some doing.

So in summary , if you haven’t yet started the show but are wondering what the fuss is about, I would suggest don’t waste your time watching the entire show. Just read these two posts and scenes that are probably worth spending your 45 mins on this show just to watch the excellent Wahaj Ali as Murtasim and his fine chemistry with Yumna Zaidi as Meerab.

P.S: Thank me later 😉

*finally* finished with summer anime four weeks into the fall season, OTL... not much of an isekai log this time around since i didn't watch the vending machine one or either of the ones with no clear gimmick or fucking mushoku tensei, but nonetheless here's my Bad Genre Is Still Bad check-in for summer '23 anime:

^ slim enough watchlist that i included eiyuu kyoushitsu on the basis of it being maou/yuusha bs even though that parameter for the category would technically include helck, which will not be featured in this post because i actually like it. not much to say about eiyuu kyoushitsu in and of itself (it's an episodic comedy with no single element of huge offence, but enough minor annoyances stacked up with no mitigating factors at all WILL net you a 2/10 eventually. also don't put the demon lord character in the intro if he's not going to be in the show i am so serious i can't keep getting fooled like this) but the fact that i hated it as much as i did IS a little microcosm of the larger pattern of the season, which is that i was excited that there were so many magic academy light novel adaptations because that ecological niche seemed to get naturally-selected out of existence around the time of the isekai boom and for some reason i remembered its golden age fondly...? anyways, liar liar also closed out at a 2/10 for an accumulation of annoyances with no redeeming qualities, and i dropped nanatsu no maken halfway through the season for getting on my nerves. lesson learned

and seija musou & okashi na tensei are both the most intensely Nothing To Write Home About that this genre can get, just operating on different skill levels - seija musou is almost fascinatingly amateurish with no tone, pacing, or even a gimmick to speak of (it may try to trick you by briefly dipping its toes in the concept of an rpg setting where all healers are evil(?) but don't be fooled, a solid third of the runtime is dedicated to the protagonist raising his stats by fighting zombies in a basement alone) but has no actual annoyances (aside from its minor obsession with the running gag of ostensibly funny nicknames - turns out that the principle of 'you can't give yourself a nickname' also applies to light novel authors' self insert characters) annoying enough to drop it down to a 2, while okashi na tensei is competently constructed, with at least a little thought given to its actual themes, some fun political scheming, and about as good a core cast as you're going to get in one of these (lady brioche my beloved...), but no strengths strong enough to bump it up to a 6. i'd watch a second season of okashi na tensei but i imagine i would leave with as little to say about it as this one

andddd i've been watching lastame at a pace such that i'll be lucky to finish it before the end of the year but my preliminary review (assuming it doesn't completely overhaul its established formula in the second half) is an easy 7/10 (no more no less), nice to see an otome villainess reincarnation story where the premise isn't completely incoherent and/or actively in contempt of its own genre for once, ok cast, good character design, suwabe playing a grimy bandit character with a heart of gold, etc

i contemplated asking the cockroach question or the better question. you know who i am. or do you? anyway, how do you incorporate the Filipino culture in your DA worldstates?

Gago you should've gone for the cockroach question haha may readymade sagot na ko dun lmao

But also boi

*cracks knuckles*

So there are various aspects of Filipino culture I used here and among them are Pre-Colonial and Spanish Colonial era fashions and customs and traditions. But not just that, I sprinkled in some of the modern-day traditions and customs here too.

But that's my generic explanation cause this is gonna be a novel

Also quick disclaimer but I do tend to make a lot of commentary on my country’s current state from disinformation to specific problems so forgive me for that. I’ve been dealing with this sm growing up that it bothers me.

I made an entire Filipino-coded country I named Azarinas post-Antivan colonisation to use because if canon will overlook the southeast esp the Philippines, I'll bring that to the forefront with my own canon-disrespecting ways.

And with that, comes in my own commentary of rabidly devout Catholicism in Filipino society. I translated that by having them persecute mages (cause of their part in Andraste's death and all that) and also they quote the Chant of Light to refute a lot of things. That, in turn, is a nod to Filipinos' obsession to quoting Bible verses to refute any suggestions of moving forward as a society.

But that's not the only group of people I added! The Azarinos are actually more of Spanish colonial Filipinos but I have made my "Dalish" clans called the Last Noble Houses who follow the old ways for them.

NOTE: They don't call themselves Dalish cause they've always been in Azarinas pre-colonisation. So this means they've never been to the Dales.

The members of the Last Noble Houses all have tattoos, but only some of them have tattoos on their face or their back since those are reserved for warriors of great renown. (a reference to how tattoos were treated in pre-colonial times)

NOTE: I did make it so that it would be customary for the common folk to have basic tattoos in front of their bodies for the sake of having protective spells imbued in their tattoos.

Pre-colonial Azarinas had the same caste system as Pre-colonial Philippines but after the fall of Iesera (Azarinas’ pre-colonial name) most of the caste levels dropped and only hints of it show through the leaders. (Namely, the ruling families are still descended from the Maginoo caste or are adopted into the ruling house to make it so that they’re in a way descended)

Soulmate dreams. That’s a thing haha

Azarinos have this obsession with foreign blood mixed into native Azarino blood. The more foreign you look, the more favoured you are. Colourism and racism directed at one another is common. Not to mention crab mentality being another flaw of the people.

But there are instances of beauty there and among them is that I incorporated the Bayanihan spirit in some moments. 

The Lakan during the pre-colonial era of Azarinas is a slight reference to epic heroes in his skill and power. TBH a lot of the characters like Mahalina and different leaders follow the checklist of Filipino epic heroes.

The Azarino language is legit Tagalog (which isn't the only language but in this instance it's the only one I learned cause I wasn't taught Pangasinense no matter how much I wanna learn) but there's a difference. The version of Tagalog used by the Azarino people vs. the Last Noble Houses is different. For the Azarinos, it is Tagalog with Spanish loan words. For the Last Noble Houses, it's deeper Tagalog with as little Spanish loan words as I could remember. (Deeper Tagalog, man it makes you sound regal but it melts the brain)

All seventeen clans (if u kno u kno 10+7 ballot) I've made followed the Pre-Colonial culture with a variety of the clans' leaders being named Datu, Rajah, Hara, or Dayang and their best leader being called Lakan as decided by the other leaders.

I made references to the legend of Princess Urduja of Pangasinan (My province) in one of the clans I made

I also made a reference to the Battle of San Rafael and made a Thedosian version of the revolutionary, Matanglawin.

The way they refer to the different members of the clan is also a thing from pre-colonial addresses. Paratabgaw = teacher (hahren in common Dalish), Atubang = Advisor, Kapunuan = Kinda like my lord/your majesty??, Tambalan = healer. I dare not touch the sacred titles of Babaylan/Katalonan/Alabay though. 

Honestly Philippine history is sprinkled in everywhere in Azarinas.

The houses of the elves in the Last Noble Houses are either based off of the bahay kubo or the torogan for the ruling families.

Various sayings like “malayo sa bituka” (it’s far from the intestines) or Filipino proverbs like “ano mang gagawin pitong beses iisipin” or “bato bato sa langit ang matamaan wag magalit” are used

I made sure there’s the different Filipino cuisines too from post to pre-colonial dishes. Mahalina is a brave mfer for loving Dinuguan but that’s no shock. Kakanin is also part of those dishes.

Carabao-like animals are one of the favoured animals of my elven clans. Those big zen looking animals are their halla in a way 

Among the favoured pets of the elves are the mayas, they’re simple and small but to them they make beautiful songs. (also they’re cute and round so-)

I made it so that the elven clans developed a specific type of floating balls of light meant to guide their people home. Common Azarinos see it and see it as an ill omen when it’s meant to help you. That’s a reference to Tala, goddess of the stars, and her helping people back then find their way home with her guiding balls of light and how the Spaniards demonised her aid by calling them the Santelmo that would lead you to your death.

The elves have long hair as a point of pride and beauty and will not cut it unless it’s in punishment, grief or before they go on a long journey.

They follow animism more than the thought of deifying any of their leaders. (they never had to deal with the Evanuris hence the difference in tattoo meanings) Another people they would deify are their ancestors. I’m not inserting the actual pantheons because I don’t want to disrespect them.

Alcoholic drinks like basi, lambanog and whatnot are the alcoholic drinks of Azarinas. Pandan tea and other flavours are also used.

Banana leaf wrappings. Every. Fucking. Where. Also rice. It’s considered weird if a meal is without rice. 

Traditional Filipino dances from pre to post colonial like Lawin-Lawin or Tinikling or Itik-Itik or Pandanggo sa Ilaw are used.

Songs I hc being commonly sung growing up: Ili-Ili, a Thedosian version of Dandansoy, Sa Ugoy ng Duyan, Pen Pen De Sarapen. Some pop songs could be sung here too like Kumpas, Ikaw at Ako, Rosas, Mapa.

Traditional musical instruments were also used along with the concept of harana. 

Pre and Post-colonial courting traditions are also used. (yes this means Dorian will get harana and Cullen gets to ask for Dalisay’s hairpin)

Same for wedding traditions like the sponsors for the non-Dalish and pre-colonial wedding traditions for the Dalish.

The usage of the gesture “mano po” which is pressing one’s forehead against the back of their elders’ hands. Along with the use of po and opo is used. 

Andrastian marriages can’t be divorced but annulment is allowed if the Grand Chantry gives its permission. A very expensive thing to try and get. Dalish marriages could end with divorce if both parties wish it really and both sides get equal shares when they split from each other. (though the dowry paid stays with the respective person it was given to.)

Sampaguitas are worn in the hair of the Dalish people sometimes as embellishments to make themselves look more beautiful. Outside, sampaguita garlands are sold to be hung on graves or on holy statues of Andraste and her followers (barring Shartan)

These are all the influences I could think of off the top of my head but there are more than this that I’ll be writing into stories I’m planning. God this was so much fun writing tho 

promotion?

ever since i encounter GOD, i already knew that I will be a blessing to others and will be blessed and will have an abundant life. Promise Nya kasi yon e. kaya normal nalang.

Last sunday Ms. E informed me about my promotion as part of TEAM 12 of our pastors. well, di sa pag mamayabang pero predicted ko na na part na ko ng team 12. di naman kasi nila pinaramdam na hindi ako part. sa dami kong ginagawa sa ministry. Pero i'm still searching for the perks of being part of this 12 — one of the controversial issue sa ministry.

Jesus have 12 DISCIPLES, where in dun nila kinuha yung perspective na yon. As if they can copy Jesus and His ways. I'm no against their system and plans. But knowing their actions, decisions and perspectives of choosing people to become part of these controversial positions? I know it all already.

2 years ago, i planned to elevate my identity for a BIG REVENGE. Revenge that i talked about from my previous blogs. I am an IT student and this is part of my FLOWCHART. Being promoted and planting to kick-out those 2 individuals, who uses their position to manipulate those who they are working with, in the list

Sobrang toxic nila bilang team lead. But, you know what? i learned a lot from them. and i thank them for that. That's why I am doing this f*cking revenge for them. Revenge for what they have done to me and to those people na sinaktan nila 10% lang yon. yung 90% is for them to be understood. kung bakit sila ganon umasta. kung bakit bawat oras nila mahalaga, at kung bakit they are very obsessed with their position. Na dumating sa point na they use is to manipulate and influenced other people until they become a monster.

Alam kong di ko mababago ang mundo at kung anong nakasanayan na ng ministry na 'to. pero bago ako marapture at mamatay, pinangako ko sa sarili ko na i will be an eye-opener to those who are in the position. I know na mahirap din naman mag decide kung nasa position lang din nila ako. Pero sana yung decision nila will not make these people suffer. Sana may paninindigan na sa susunod.

Sana.

I know that with this promotion (though it is not important to me) my environment will be more interesting. I know and I feel it.

Am I Ready Yet?

Women. You know, you want to go somewhere, and they have like two thousand things they discovered about their hair that is keeping you from hitting the road.

They are never quite ready, and especially when you need them to be. Being in a relationship, especially long-term with a woman requires steadfast tolerance of this usually daily impedance.

For myself, telling if I’m ready, is rarely a bathroom orientated situation. Just last night I twiddled around for 5-6 hours on a bass track, that when I finally picked up the bass to track, I put it down. Why? Because I was tired, and you could feel it in the track I was doing. Within seconds of monitoring, it was more than apparent. I did not want that. Bass back in holster, back in bed until I could stop being a poo-na-nee.

What baffles me, is some days under the same circumstances and attitude, that same session can last 10-20 hours. It’s as if some part of the environment tells you ‘hey, you’re ready now’ and it just happens. Like magic. The same thing happens in adverse, like last night with me. My personal and physical issues were bleeding into the track, and something about the room told me to take a break and start it up tommorow.

Was I ready last night? No

Sometimes you can go weeks without being ‘ready’ and for a musician to experience this, is like a woman never getting her bathroom time before leaving the house. You feel like you forgot your make-up, your hair is all over, you likely stink, and it feels like everyone is going to notice. Until you get that melody or message out, it eats and eats at you why you can afford to do anything else. It becomes an obsession. And when it’s unattainable, it becomes a nightmare.

Judging whether a mix is ‘ready’ or not, I usually compare it with others in an alike genre or tonal composition. Judging on these merits, and usually my cheapest pair of headphones, I can decipher the quality by contrasting it. Much of my editing career, in movies and music, was mostly self-taught. I found in later years, I was adopting my photography methods into other pursuits. Using methods that are more akin to producing photos than music. This is because my goal was not entirely music, but a soundscape.

What is a soundscape? Well take a panoramic photo, it gets a wide shot of an overall area condensed in a way that visually encapsulates the 180-360 degree movement used to take the photo. A soundscape, conceptually is like taking the whole thing, maximizing it, then condensing the outside frills to make what is a panoramic mix.

I think this approach is also important, considering revision and remastering nowadays, the original should be as pure and maximized as possible.

So before I judge if something or someone is ‘ready’. I first try to feel if what they are doing makes sense, and to that effect in the world around them. I think many people jump right into deep water, not even thinking about the concept of preparation or organization. These people drive me nuts in the studio. I’m not exact in everything I do, but I don’t just believe in being a complete ass to every sense of order, so I do have processes (at the same time when I lift weights, I never decide what machine I’m using before, I just walk in there).

Well that’s about all for now

All of Us Are Dead (2022) [Remarks (by episode)]

EPISODE 1

• Damnnit. Su-hyeok should have done more for Eun-ji and her reputation. Maybe he believed something like it wasn't his place and could indeed make it worse by meddling. Among other things. But still... :/

EPISODE 2

• "Heads" of schools are so often so effin' dense. Geez. Trying to reason with them is worse than talking to a brick wall hoping to get through it. *facepalm*

EPISODE 3

• It's characters like Lee Na-yeon that I tend to dislike the most and have no compassion for. At first, you may be like, "Okay, so they're privileged and pretty out of touch. But nobody is perfect and people change! I could be bitchy too before..." And then they start pulling shit (and crying when they're facing the consequences of their actions).

IMO, one of the worst kinds of person to have in a team. IDC if they're right at times.

• Yang Dae-su is like the complete opposite. Jeez. Purest and biggest heart of gold.

• Spoiler: Jang Ha-ri LIVES! And I had no idea I would grow to like this character so much when she was first introduced...

EPISODE 4

• You wouldn't believe how heroic Nam So-ju is...

• And Park Mi-jin is so feisty and quarrelsome.

But such a good teammate after all...

EPISODE 5

• Cheong-san is tougher, smarter, kinder, and more deadly than he looks and you'd initially assume. Messing with him is not a good idea.

• The conversation about what if everyone turned and they're the only humans left hits so different now...

• Yoon Gwi-nam is the worst. *shudders*

EPISODE 6

• Trying not to say more than I should before upcoming episodes and the ending, but... Choi Nam-ra is OP. Top student and top fighter.

EPISODE 7

• Call me biased, but when it comes to Min Eun-ji, I'm like, "YASS, SLAAAY!!"

• Welp. If they all leave the school in this instance, that'd be it.

EPISODE 8

• I love how Min Eun-ji, by dealing with her pain, indirectly freed the group to be out on the rooftop and relatively safer. Not the abuse and neglect, though. People are messed up.

• The reluctant "villain". Though, I mean, if you've been severely bullied or outcasted by your peers (and chances are they're all turned or infected, anyway), it kind of follows that you'd hate the place and everyone in it or be indifferent about it all. He may just have been honoring another's rage wish, too.

• Am I supposed to feel bad because she starts showing signs of having some humanity? Well, I don't. She had plenty of opportunities to do the right thing but over and over chose her own comfort and convenience over it. It didn't matter that the teacher who sacrificed herself for her practically begged her to do better and help others. She still chose to be selfish until her bit of conscience (or maybe a literal ghost), and probably her loneliness most of all, finally pushed her to more. I'm not saying go get killed by a zombie, but missed me with that sympathy-seeking. And if I had to guess, she'd be the kind to revert to her old ways once she has it going good for herself again.

EPISODE 9

• Is there a politician that isn't a phony?

EPISODE 10

...

EPISODE 11

• Hmm... Seeing someone you love, or just knew, turn all the way into a Zombie must be a whole other kind of grief. Because you remember the person they were before and you want to hang on to that, and maybe even cherish it, but then in front of you is the same body acting in wildly contrary ways. And you'd have to tell your brain not to override who they were with this new behavior but it would still do. Then there's the hope that there's a cure and you can bring them back again, but that's rarely the case in zombie stories.

• It always both baffled and irritated me to no end the obsession of Yoon Gwi-nam with fighting Lee Cheong-san. But it makes sense that Lee Cheong-san could upset him so. Besides Yoon Gwi-nam just being generally violent and wanting to take that out.

EPISODE 12

• I'm sorry if anyone saw themselves in Park Ji-hoo but, to me, she came across as an NPC - there to prompt the rest of the characters to show different sides or degrees of them as well as to display how emotions can be processed or moral stances taken. I wanted to take it all seriously, but couldn't help but be amused at parts to watch others interact with her as though they were all interacting with a non-entity rather than with a number of other characters they would have shown those sides and degrees to. 😂

Or maybe she's the writer's self-insert? Anyhow, thank you for that, Park Ji-hoo, whatever or whoever you are.

FINAL

• I regret not having written down my favorite lines as I was watching all the episodes. There were some true gems in there. I'd have to rewatch for all of them now. 😭

But off the top of my head right now: Loved Ha-ri's profoundness showing, as well as the thoughtfulness of the teacher, Sun-hwa, and the boldness of Cheong-san. 💛💛💛

my impersonator appears to be back, so i’ll post a warning here too:

the characters named “tera novatria” outside of behemoth belong to a former acquaintance who is for some reason obsessed with me and my name/character. they first attempted to impersonate me in 2019 which i posted about before at the time. i was so creeped out that i ended up rebranding my character some time after, but due to the abrupt circumstances, everyone i know ingame still knows/calls me by "tera novatria” to this day. i received discord dms from multiple people now who thought this person was me, asking if i had changed servers or made new alts when i did not. i am very uncomfortable being associated with this person who clearly does not respect my boundaries and refuses to leave me alone even after all these years.

the situation is still ongoing, but i believe i’ve done everything i can about it on my end, including filing a GM report. i'll leave this blog up for evidence/nostalgia reasons, but this will be my final post here.

(NA) PRIMAL - BEHEMOTH (NA) CRYSTAL - BALMUNG (EU) LIGHT - RAIDEN (JP) ELEMENTAL - AEGIS (OC) MATERIA - SOPHIA ⚠️NOTICE DUE TO REPEATED IMPERSONATION ATTEMPTS ※ I ONLY PLAY ON THE SERVERS LISTED ABOVE. ※ I NO LONGER USE THE ENGLISH GAME CLIENT. ※ IF SOMEONE WHO APPEARS OR CLAIMS TO BE ME IS NOT FROM THE ABOVE SERVERS AND/OR IS USING THE ENGLISH GAME CLIENT, IT IS NOT ME.

✱ 2023/06 edit: i now have alts on the above servers as well as on AETHER - CACTUAR to prevent further impersonation attempts. however, the character on CRYSTAL - MATEUS is not me.

✱ 2023/10 edit: made alts on CRYSTAL - MATEUS and AETHER - GILGAMESH. any future characters named “tera novatria” outside of the ones below will be from the creep trying to impersonate me

Bakit ba lahat nalang ng entry ko dito sa tumblr has something to do with you.. I don't like it.. It's like I'm being too obsessed na. Nakakaasar -_- I can't help it, very irresistible kasi yung pota.

Thu | 08.11.2022 | 10:06 am

hello. over my tumblr break a few months ago i got bored enough to count the frequencies of every word in joe iconis songs and i don’t know what else to do with this info so here y’all go. every word in joe iconis songs with 10+ occurrences in descending order but i also factored out the 250 most common words in the english language badly (warning, this is a 484 item long list).

1 ('i', 2375) 2 ("i'm", 708) 3 ("it's", 366) 4 ('oh', 312) 5 ('gonna', 204) 6 ('yeah', 175) 7 ('got', 163) 8 ("you're", 160) 9 ('am', 160) 10 ('na', 149) 11 ('wanna', 130) 12 ('hey', 129) 13 ('love', 127) 14 ('feel', 122) 15 ("i'll", 117) 16 ('things', 111) 17 ('really', 97) 18 ("i'd", 97) 19 ('bang', 93) 20 ('girl', 87) 21 ('ever', 86) 22 ("can't", 84) 23 ('better', 78) 24 ("there's", 78) 25 ("she's", 78) 26 ("i've", 75) 27 ('whoa', 74) 28 ('baby', 73) 29 ("that's", 70) 30 ('gotta', 69) 31 ("we're", 68) 32 ("ain't", 63) 33 ("won't", 63) 34 ('cool', 61) 35 ('song', 58) 36 ('away', 57) 37 ('anymore', 56) 38 ('because', 55) 39 ('ya', 55) 40 ('always', 54) 41 ('remember', 54) 42 ('gone', 51) 43 ('guess', 51) 44 ('person', 51) 45 ('woman', 49) 46 ('sing', 49) 47 ('blood', 49) 48 ('stay', 48) 49 ('care', 48) 50 ('into', 47) 51 ('mind', 46) 52 ('whatever', 46) 53 ('jeremy', 45) 54 ("didn't", 45) 55 ('wish', 45) 56 ('feeling', 43) 57 ('ooh', 43) 58 ('cuz', 43) 59 ("you'll", 43) 60 ('ribbit', 43) 61 ('everything', 42) 62 ("you've", 42) 63 ('done', 41) 64 ('nothing', 41) 65 ('fine', 41) 66 ('girls', 41) 67 ('something', 40) 68 ('please', 40) 69 ('hate', 40) 70 ('walk', 40) 71 ('nanana', 40) 72 ('going', 39) 73 ('maybe', 39) 74 ('hear', 39) 75 ('used', 39) 76 ('fall', 39) 77 ('wrong', 38) 78 ('fire', 37) 79 ('rather', 37) 80 ('around', 36) 81 ('shit', 36) 82 ('ba', 36) 83 ('heart', 36) 84 ('leave', 36) 85 ('ah', 36) 86 ('being', 36) 87 ('oh-h', 36) 88 ("he's", 35) 89 ('till', 35) 90 ('fight', 35) 91 ('face', 35) 92 ('la-la-la', 35) 93 ('da', 35) 94 ("let's", 34) 95 ('sure', 34) 96 ('hope', 34) 97 ('nana', 34) 98 ('guy', 33) 99 ('knew', 33) 100 ('wanted', 33) 101 ('shoot', 33) 102 ('em', 32) 103 ('rich', 32) 104 ('together', 32) 105 ('looking', 32) 106 ('myself', 32) 107 ('knock', 32) 108 ('chop', 32) 109 ('makes', 31) 110 ('since', 31) 111 ('whiskey', 31) 112 ('uh', 30) 113 ("they're", 30) 114 ('gimme', 30) 115 ('rick', 30) 116 ('somebody', 29) 117 ('those', 29) 118 ("doesn't", 29) 119 ('red', 29) 120 ('totally', 29) 121 ('hell', 29) 122 ("what's", 29) 123 ('hall', 29) 124 ('die', 29) 125 ('annie', 29) 126 ('bad', 28) 127 ('stop', 28) 128 ("you'd", 28) 129 ('listen', 28) 130 ('mamma', 28) 131 ('la-la-la-la', 28) 132 ('do-do', 28) 133 ('tonight', 27) 134 ('okay', 27) 135 ('hair', 27) 136 ("c'mon", 27) 137 ('roll', 27) 138 ('without', 27) 139 ('michael', 27) 140 ('christine', 27) 141 ('bounty', 27) 142 ('almost', 26) 143 ('another', 26) 144 ('kinda', 26) 145 ('mine', 26) 146 ('rock', 26) 147 ('records', 26) 148 ('music', 26) 149 ('lonely', 25) 150 ('words', 25) 151 ('heard', 25) 152 ('yo', 25) 153 ('madeline', 25) 154 ('says', 25) 155 ('band', 25) 156 ('lots', 25) 157 ('alive', 25) 158 ('god', 24) 159 ('times', 24) 160 ('battle', 24) 161 ('skin', 24) 162 ('dada', 24) 163 ('revolution', 24) 164 ('institution', 24) 165 ('broke', 23) 166 ('talk', 23) 167 ('eyes', 23) 168 ("who's", 23) 169 ('hold', 23) 170 ('burned', 23) 171 ('morning', 23) 172 ('chill', 23) 173 ('pretty', 23) 174 ('car', 23) 175 ('young', 23) 176 ('la-la', 23) 177 ('tired', 23) 178 ('nation', 23) 179 ('friend', 22) 180 ('everybody', 22) 181 ('rehearsal', 22) 182 ('true', 22) 183 ('inside', 22) 184 ('squip', 22) 185 ('ready', 21) 186 ('best', 21) 187 ('understand', 21) 188 ('else', 21) 189 ('lot', 21) 190 ('party', 21) 191 ('ignore', 21) 192 ('bit', 21) 193 ('cut', 21) 194 ('gets', 20) 195 ('sometimes', 20) 196 ("isn't", 20) 197 ('whole', 20) 198 ("everybody's", 20) 199 ('starts', 20) 200 ('feels', 20) 201 ('everyone', 20) 202 ('room', 20) 203 ('dry', 20) 204 ('nice', 20) 205 ('juvie', 20) 206 ('sleep', 20) 207 ('wonder', 20) 208 ('size', 20) 209 ('ass', 20) 210 ('welcome', 20) 211 ('seen', 19) 212 ('weird', 19) 213 ('soon', 19) 214 ('yourself', 19) 215 ('alone', 19) 216 ('flame', 19) 217 ('taking', 19) 218 ('friends', 19) 219 ('enough', 19) 220 ('born', 19) 221 ('lordy', 19) 222 ('hunter', 19) 223 ('relate', 19) 224 ('yai', 19) 225 ('today', 18) 226 ('loser', 18) 227 ('bitch', 18) 228 ('until', 18) 229 ('arm', 18) 230 ('comes', 18) 231 ('dead', 18) 232 ('told', 18) 233 ('ow', 18) 234 ('honey', 18) 235 ('years', 18) 236 ('whack', 18) 237 ("we'll", 18) 238 ('n', 18) 239 ('nerd', 18) 240 ('fell', 18) 241 ('dad', 17) 242 ('pants', 17) 243 ('huh', 17) 244 ('nobody', 17) 245 ('mad', 17) 246 ('getting', 17) 247 ("wasn't", 17) 248 ('scared', 17) 249 ('wait', 17) 250 ('body', 17) 251 ('quite', 17) 252 ('hands', 17) 253 ('ohh', 17) 254 ('hurt', 17) 255 ('deserve', 17) 256 ('ride', 17) 257 ('game', 17) 258 ('survive', 17) 259 ('upgrade', 17) 260 ('free', 17) 261 ('certain', 17) 262 ('wha-oh', 17) 263 ('cigarettes', 17) 264 ('writer', 17) 265 ('bands', 17) 266 ('hunters', 17) 267 ('hang', 16) 268 ("wouldn't", 16) 269 ('age', 16) 270 ('cry', 16) 271 ('sky', 16) 272 ('past', 16) 273 ('behind', 16) 274 ('someone', 16) 275 ('saying', 16) 276 ('black', 16) 277 ('job', 16) 278 ('la', 16) 279 ('fix', 16) 280 ('alright', 16) 281 ('shot', 16) 282 ('bar', 16) 283 ('deal', 16) 284 ('respect', 16) 285 ('dog', 16) 286 ('flicks', 16) 287 ('strong', 15) 288 ("haven't", 15) 289 ('glad', 15) 290 ('next', 15) 291 ('escape', 15) 292 ('fun', 15) 293 ('though', 15) 294 ('promise', 15) 295 ('hide', 15) 296 ('ammonia', 15) 297 ('likes', 15) 298 ('thinks', 15) 299 ('yes', 15) 300 ('nurse', 15) 301 ('looks', 15) 302 ('halloween', 15) 303 ('twice', 15) 304 ('bout', 15) 305 ('sight', 15) 306 ('along', 15) 307 ('forget', 15) 308 ('voices', 15) 309 ('bathroom', 15) 310 ('master', 15) 311 ("shiro's", 15) 312 ('badass', 15) 313 ('rosalie', 15) 314 ('setting', 15) 315 ('road', 14) 316 ('dude', 14) 317 ('brain', 14) 318 ('kid', 14) 319 ('drink', 14) 320 ('means', 14) 321 ('guys', 14) 322 ('bed', 14) 323 ('doing', 14) 324 ('breathe', 14) 325 ('happy', 14) 326 ('scream', 14) 327 ('mistakes', 14) 328 ('anything', 14) 329 ('goes', 14) 330 ('blue', 14) 331 ('pretend', 14) 332 ('social', 14) 333 ('shout', 14) 334 ('geek', 14) 335 ('buddy', 14) 336 ("everything's", 14) 337 ("helen's", 14) 338 ('golden', 14) 339 ('movin', 14) 340 ('st', 14) 341 ("anne's", 14) 342 ('finally', 13) 343 ('choose', 13) 344 ('smoke', 13) 345 ('voice', 13) 346 ('terrible', 13) 347 ('happened', 13) 348 ('pass', 13) 349 ('street', 13) 350 ("couldn't", 13) 351 ('wall', 13) 352 ('instead', 13) 353 ('clear', 13) 354 ('tight', 13) 355 ('damn', 13) 356 ('susannah', 13) 357 ('smile', 13) 358 ('waiting', 13) 359 ('ground', 13) 360 ('remind', 13) 361 ('coolness', 13) 362 ('sad', 13) 363 ("things'll", 13) 364 ('brother', 13) 365 ("it'll", 13) 366 ('somewhere', 13) 367 ('veins', 13) 368 ('cat', 12) 369 ('weather', 12) 370 ('children', 12) 371 ("weren't", 12) 372 ('fucking', 12) 373 ('sorry', 12) 374 ('clean', 12) 375 ('pour', 12) 376 ('different', 12) 377 ('singing', 12) 378 ('coming', 12) 379 ('thinking', 12) 380 ('trying', 12) 381 ('sick', 12) 382 ('bone', 12) 383 ('least', 12) 384 ('lisa', 12) 385 ('nothin', 12) 386 ('dear', 12) 387 ('white', 12) 388 ('hot', 12) 389 ('charlie', 12) 390 ('family', 12) 391 ('door', 12) 392 ('korean', 12) 393 ('dodo', 12) 394 ('c-c-c', 12) 395 ('yours', 12) 396 ('c-c-c-come', 12) 397 ('wants', 11) 398 ('bloody', 11) 399 ('called', 11) 400 ('forever', 11) 401 ('sweet', 11) 402 ('soul', 11) 403 ('swear', 11) 404 ('touch', 11) 405 ('easy', 11) 406 ('days', 11) 407 ('stage', 11) 408 ('across', 11) 409 ('woah', 11) 410 ('crazy', 11) 411 ('town', 11) 412 ('dress', 11) 413 ('top', 11) 414 ('loves', 11) 415 ('rage', 11) 416 ('phone', 11) 417 ('super', 11) 418 ('feet', 11) 419 ('mess', 11) 420 ('penny', 11) 421 ('stars', 11) 422 ('supposed', 11) 423 ('miss', 11) 424 ('college', 11) 425 ('hates', 11) 426 ('quit', 11) 427 ('history', 11) 428 ('cage', 11) 429 ('falling', 11) 430 ('mcfly', 11) 431 ("i'mma", 11) 432 ('played', 11) 433 ('touching', 11) 434 ('band-aids', 11) 435 ('fox', 11) 436 ('thank', 11) 437 ('pitiful', 11) 438 ('covered', 11) 439 ('open', 10) 440 ("they'll", 10) 441 ("we've", 10) 442 ('feelings', 10) 443 ('gun', 10) 444 ('living', 10) 445 ('wow', 10) 446 ('book', 10) 447 ('wonderful', 10) 448 ('blame', 10) 449 ('brooke', 10) 450 ('space', 10) 451 ('slow', 10) 452 ('longer', 10) 453 ('naked', 10) 454 ("he'd", 10) 455 ('star', 10) 456 ('shirt', 10) 457 ('looked', 10) 458 ('i’m', 10) 459 ('standing', 10) 460 ('break', 10) 461 ('lame', 10) 462 ('ten', 10) 463 ('york', 10) 464 ('met', 10) 465 ('dreadfuls', 10) 466 ('mountain', 10) 467 ('push', 10) 468 ('two-player', 10) 469 ('war', 10) 470 ('talkin', 10) 471 ('throw', 10) 472 ('normal', 10) 473 ('hat', 10) 474 ('christmas', 10) 475 ('silver', 10) 476 ('freak', 10) 477 ('mom', 10) 478 ('garage', 10) 479 ('become', 10) 480 ('flesh', 10) 481 ('bastard', 10) 482 ('broadway', 10) 483 ('amphibian', 10) 484 ('outlaw', 10)

Happy 4/4 I finally sat down and wrote my 2000 word essay on Jhin’s gay coding and why he’s a gay gay homosexual gay

I think tumblr is still weird with links so I’m going to post it under the cut and also link in the comments.

IMPORTANT NOTES: 1. I am insane I know this thank you mwah 2. This is mostly unedited because I am tired so if things sound weird I’m sorry gdfhfs 3. This is not meant for argument I don’t care if you think he’s another sexuality but I don’t want to hear it on my post about why he’s gay. I will block you ❤️

The (Probably Unintentional) Gay Coding of Khada Jhin

Since his release in 2016 Jhin as a character has hexed and bewitched me, a humble homosexual. Jhin is to date still one of the most interesting characters in League of Legends in all aspects: design, theme, lore, and character wise. One thing that has also caught my interest about him in all my insanity driven frantic delving into his character is the very subtle gay coding that exists in the writings about him. Very subtle meaning of course, easy to ignore and in some cases perhaps not even canon any more, (such as background information that was given about him on old official riot boards that have since been taken down). The coding still exists, however, and I’m going to unearth it like an archaeologist driven by some divine madness to tell everyone why this pixel man is gay.

To start off, it’s important to understand what gay coding is as well as why and how it’s used. Gay– or the more general Queer-- coding is a type of subtext in media used to imply a character is LGBT+ in nature without explicitly stating it1. Historically it’s been used in times where creators are legally unable to confirm such things, or cannot otherwise because of moral taboos against queer people. The same is still true now, especially for big game studios like Riot who don’t want to confirm their character’s being gay due to queer content being restricted in some countries internationally. However, this phenomenon cannot be blamed by that alone, as it is still largely due to homophobia in League’s NA servers, and Riot’s cowardice. This is especially true for not confirming characters as gay men as opposed to the several lesbians and bisexual women riot has confirmed, but that’s a topic I’ll get into later. Now to explain how the gay coding works it’s very simple: Use tropes commonly associated with gay people. To explain how some of these tropes are used, we’ll look into Jhin’s actual character, quotes, and backstory.

Immediately looking into the backbone of Jhin’s character we find the arts. He’s very theatrical, even working in the theater for quite a while in his youth, and obviously obsessed with creating art. While these aren’t exclusive to gay people by any means, these are both interests that are highly prevalent in gay communities and used to make characters in media read as obviously gay. Theater and the arts are also seen as more feminine, flamboyant, and campy in nature, which is also tied to gay men. Obviously Jhin isn’t interested in theater like a character from Glee, but he certainly fits into the role of “flamboyant performance artist5,” just more nuanced and evil. Again, obviously not every man interested in theater can be typecast as gay. The flamboyant nature and tone of most of his voice lines and speech mannerisms2,6 that go with his theater background, however, make it very gay. I don’t even have a semi-academic or succinct way to describe how the tone and wording choices for Jhin read as gay (without taking 10 pages to discuss every line). I, as a gay man, simply look through or listen to the words he says and think “okay [SLUR REDACTED]” we get it, you’re gay. Moving away from the association with theater and flamboyancy as obvious gay signaling, there are some other bits of Jhin’s character that read as gay as well.

On his release or near it, one of Jhin’s writers did an AMA (ask me anything) about him and his backstory. Tragically, the original boards were deleted, but a summary of some of the points was made by a reddit user4 on a discussion of his backstory. Before getting into it, it is important to note that technically none of what has been said in the forums/reddit threads is official canonical lore, or could be easily retconned in future stories, but I will be discussing it anyway because I think it’s important to the character. In the thread the fact that stands out the most to me is Jhin’s strained relationship with his father. Even going so far as to say “his father never accept[ed] him for who he was4.” Which of course is probably in reference to a young Jhin’s budding fascination with death, but is also the most explicit, slap to the face instance of gay coding in his character. The exact phrasing of his father “not accepting him for who he was” is a sentiment gay men, and other queer people, can frequently relate to and is usually used in media to tell that a character is gay. Again it has the plausible deniability of being about Jhin’s interests instead, and being on a social media board instead of written into canon, but it’s some of the only information we have regarding Jhin’s younger life/relationship with his family at this point in time. Going along with that also there is a point in the thread about Jhin’s father forcing him to learn his method of fighting with chi-daggers as opposed to letting him learn his own way (and then him rebelling by learning his own way anyway)4. This point isn’t directly related, but it’s not unusual for fathers to try to force their gay/seemingly gay sons into more “masculine” activities (such as fighting in this case) as if that will steer them away from being gay. Moving away from the bits of technically unconfirmed backstory (for now), there’s more to explore in his canonical interactions as well. 

Up to this point in my analysis most of Jhin’s coding can be interpreted as a general sort of queer coding. Everything mentioned could also be applicable to bisexual men or any other form of queer man as well, but Jhin has something extra that really pushes him into the category of specifically homosexual, in my eyes. In almost every instance of writing Jhin has been in, whether it be the Zed comic, or his short stories, or even his voice lines in the game itself, Jhin has shown explicit disinterest in women. The in-game voice lines are the most subtle of them for sure, and could probably be taken as misogyny instead of a nod to homosexuality. With how he comments on Miss Fortune “needing a wardrobe upgrade6” and Illaoi wearing “too much gold6” it doesn’t just read as him being rude, it invokes a couple other staples of gay tropes: 1. Being a catty bitch, and 2. Having an interest in and commenting on people’s fashion choices. This isn’t limited to the women either, he also comments on Tahm Kench’s fashion choices in two separate voice lines, so he clearly has at least a passing interest in fashion (gay). In the comic and his short story, however, his disinterest is much more explicit. He has, on multiple occasions, referred to women as looking “boring”-- In both the Zed comic2, when he is talking about a woman Zed has a crush on, and also his color story The Man With The Steel Cane3, when he is referring to a woman at an inn he’s staying at. Perhaps he is just talking about how boring conventionally attractive women look, but in a world where every single character is made to be beautiful and conventionally attractive I doubt there would be any women he doesn’t find boring. And also given his highly theatrical character, “boring” seems to be one of the worst things Jhin could find someone; how could he make art out of something boring, something devoid of inspiration? This also sticks out as disinterest in women due to the fact that it’s been said more than once, in what is technically two-thirds of the written stories for him. One could argue he is also not interested in men or any other gender either, and in fact the same message boards that gave us some of his backstory would agree with that. However, I am gay and I make the rules.

Much of this coding as well as a couple other things could potentially point towards Jhin being asexual, or even both gay and ace. Unfortunately I cannot find a good source, but I remember another AMA answer floating around of Jhin being called “gunsexual” when one of his writers was asked about his sexuality. Now, ignoring the minor homophobia of making a joke out of his sexuality, this can be interpreted in a couple ways. It can be interpreted as Jhin being asexual, and disinterested in anything aside from his gun, the source of his artistic expression. Or, it can be interpreted as dodging the question of sexuality because Riot cannot/doesn’t want to confirm characters (especially men) as being gay. I find it important to note that this, while a joke, does point to him being queer in some respect though, as I feel a joke would not be made to keep his sexuality vague were he just simply heterosexual. Going back to a previous point, I think Riot is dancing around Jhin being gay because they know announcing a champion, especially a popular champion, as gay will receive backlash. Looking again at characters they have officially announced as gay there are a number of lesbians (Neeko, Leona, Diana, Caitlyn, Vi possibly Nidalee), and bisexual women (Rell, Nami, arguably some in the lesbian category), but only one gay/queer man (Varus). This is because of a double whammy of homophobia and lesbophobia, wherein lesbians are more marketable to their huge userbase of cis heterosexual men due to prevalence of lesbian fetishization, and also gay men are reviled and would be seen as “ruining a character” due to the rampant homophobia of the same group. Which is to say, unfortunately I don’t think Jhin will ever exist as gay outside of just his subtle coding. That is a whole separate issue I could go on about at length, however that is not the topic of this essay.

Looking back at what has been discussed, it is incredibly clear to me personally that Jhin is a gay man. Possibly also an asexual man; though I personally feel that would be, in a canon sense specifically, a bad move for Riot to make him asexual. I do agree Jhin can be read as asexual and I appreciate ace Jhin headcanons from other fans, however, in the context of canon sexuality I think it would be sweeping all of his explicitly gay coding under the rug and label him as anything but gay. That, again, is another whole conversation to have in a place that is not this essay. Looking at Jhin’s backstory, his interests and mannerisms, his several accounts of disinterest in women, and other smaller details of his character, I feel it is fair to say this man is absolutely homosexual. He may be too busy with his art and murders to seek a relationship, but this man loves other men.

References: (version with links attached in comments)

1. “Queer coding”, Wikipedia, last modified on 28 March, 2022, 

2. Shafer, Odin. Zed, Issue #2 (other issues referenced as well), Marvel Worldwide Inc, 2019-2020.

3. Shafer, Odin. “The Man With The Steel Cane.” 

4. @la_goanna."Jhin's Family/ Backstory." Reddit, 2020, 

5. TV Tropes.  Performance Artist.(See also: All Gays Love Theater) 

6. League of Legends Fandom Wiki. Jhin/LoL/Audio. 

My K-drama recommendation master list Part 2

You can find part 1 here

Look, you gave us relatively new recommendations, what about ones older than 10 years? I'll give you my top 5

Princess Hours (2006) Is a modern Cinderella story. It's 24 episodes long. Available on Viki.

Personal Taste (2010) Honestly, problematic plot if you put your mind into it, but entertaining nonetheless. It's 16 episodes long, each one lasting a little over an hour, available on Viki.

Cinderella's Sister (2010) You hate every character, but there's still something that makes you watch it. Available on Viki.

Thank You (2007) was ahead of its time, it's about a single mother with a daughter who has an HIV+ diagnosis. 16 episodes long, each one lasting a little over an hour. Available on Viki.

Stairway to Heaven (2003) for a good melodrama.

What about romantic fantasies involving fantastic beings?

Guardian: The lonely and Great God(2016) A classic of the genre. It tells the story of a God who was once a man, and is being punished by immortality, unless he meets his bride, who just so happens to be a high schooler centuries later. Available on viki. 16 episodes long with 3 specials, all lasting about 75 minutes.

Hotel Del Luna (2019) it would be unfair to talk about Goblin, without talking about this other masterpiece about a being cursed into immortality and granted special availabilities along with it, but a curse is still a curse, and she must run a hotel meant for ghosts, where after centuries of being, meets a young man who is alive. Availability on Viki, 16 episodes long and each one lastz about 75 minutes.

Tale of the Nine Tailed (2020) You get to see Lee Dong Wook as another mystical being, and Kim Bum is his half brother. 16 episodes long and one special, each one lasting about 65 minutes. Available on Viki.

My roommate is a Gumiho (2021) what's up with gumihos? It's still airing. The title is self explanatory. Available on Viki and Qiyi.

Angel's last mission: Love (2019) is a cute and sad story about an angel who is about to ascend and a ballerina who has a cynical view of the world. Available on Viki. Each episode averages 30 minutes, with 32 episodes.

Doom at your service (2021) About to finish airing. It tells the story of a dying woman who wishes doom upon the world, and the doom who answers her plea. Available on viki, 16 episodes long, each one lasting about an hour.

The Scholar Who walks the night (2015) another Lee Joon Gi entry, but I swear all of his works are great, it's a period drama that tells the story of a scholar who is a vampire and the young bookseller he meets. It's 20 episodes long, each one lasting about an hour. Available on viki. Also, if you've liked Lee Soo Hyuk in Doom at Your Service, I advise you check this one out.

Tale of Arang (2012) two Lee Joon Gi entries in a row? Girl, you have to stop. Anyways, this one is another period piece of a magistrate who can see ghosts and the ghost of a young woman who doesn't remember her life, nor the cause of her death. Available on viki, it's 20 episodes long, each one lasting a little over an hour.

Look, those are fine or whatever, but I started as a K-pop fan, where can I see some idol dramas? Don't worry, I came prepared

Full House (2004) with Rain as the main character is the og idol drama in my opinion. Available on Viki. 16 episodes long, each one lasting about 73 minutes.

Imitation (2021) is currently airing, and it's literally an idol drama about idols. You can find a looot of idols too: Jeong Yun Ho and Park Seong Hwa from Ateez, Chani and Hwi Young from SF9, Park Ji Yeon from T-ara, Lim Na Young from I.O.I and Pristin, and although Jeong Ji So is not an idol, she is the main lead, and I absolutely love her, she's also in Doom at your service. Available on Viki.

Miss Panda and Mr. Hedgehog (2012) features Donghae from Super Junior, and if I'm going to recommend a Super Junior drama, I would rather recommend one featuring him over Siwon.

At a Distance the Spring is Green (2021) is currently airing too, and only has four released episodes, but I've liked it so far. Featuring Park Ji Hoon, and Kwon Dun Bin. Also, I have a lot of opinions about this show. Available on Viki.

I was going to put an IU drama but, all her dramas are good, so go and watch them all, the woman has range.

Dream High (2011) is the king of idol dramas, in my opinion. It talksa about a high school for people who want to be idols. Another one with a long line up of idols, so let me start: Suzy, IU, Taecyeon, Nichkhun and Wooyoung from 2PM, Ham Eun Jung from T-ara. Leeteuk (SuJu and Chansung (2PM) make cameos. Similarly to Imitation, Kim Soo Hyun is not an idol, but he's the main lead. It's 16 episodes long, each one lasting about 65 minutes. Available on Viki.

Wow, quite a few, but they all seem rather popular, do you have some underrated gems? I'm going to have to go down memory lane, but I do

The Queen's Classroom (2013) This one feels like a fever dream, because I'm aware it exists, I watched it back when it first aired, but I can't find it anywhere now. It's based on a Japanese drama of the same name. It's about a strict but warm hearted teacher and her students' lives and struggles. 16 episodes long. DM me if you find anywhere to watch it.

1% of Something (2016) is a really cute drama, the chemistry is off the charts, and if you're looking for skinship, this one is the one for you, underrated arranged marriage kdrama, I'm telling you. It's 16 episodes long, averaging 45 minutes, and it's on Viki.

I'm not a Robot (2017) has a really cute plot, not underrated per se, but not hyped enough. It's 32 episodes long, each one averaging 30 minutes. Available on Viki.

Do you like Brahms? (2020) is a music themed kdrama, really cute and wholesome. If you like 2setviolin and watched their critique on their YouTube channel, let me tell you, the cast actually knows how to play violin and stuff, and there's an actual child prodigy in there. It got so much hate bc of that one yt video. It's 16 episode long, each one lasting about an hour. Available on Viki.

Solomon's Perjury (2016) a good reflection on youth and the pressure society has. 12 episodes long, lasting about 63 minutes each. Available on Viki.

The Greatest Love (2011) is a super entertaining TV show, and just supper funny and cute. 16 episodes long, each one lasting around 65 minutes. Available on Viki.

Two Cops (2017) if you like Kim Seon Ho, I think this was his TV acting debut. It's a hilarious action comedy TV show. 32 episodes long, lasting around 30 minutes. Available on viki.

Do you have any recommendations where time traveling or time is central to the story?

Alice (2020) look, I can't give you a full explanation because it's too mind bending. Let's leave it at detective meets his mother. Available on Viki.

Signal (2016) The premise is similar to that of the movie Frequency (2000) in which there's communication between the past and the present via technology. The plot is based on the real Hwaseong serial murders. Really interesting. Available on Netflix. If you like the premise of communicating with the past via technology Call (2020) is a Korean thriller movie available on Netflix.

Chicago Typewriter (2017) this one is about reincarnation but we get to see both timelines. Available on Netflix.

Tomorrow with you (2017) Time-traveling but make it ✨depressing ✨. The story of a man who time travels, and how that ability messes with his marriage. Available on Netflix.

What about historical dramas? I don't really watch those, but here are some I liked

The Moon Embracing the Sun (2012) is one of the few I've finished. It's really good, it follows the love story of a king. Available on viki. 20 episodes long, each one lasting about an hour.

Gunman in Joseon (2014) Am I recommending you this one because of Lee Joon Gi? Maybe. It has 22 episodes, each one lasting about an hour. Available on Viki.

The Crowned Clown (2019) a story of the Prince and the Pauper if I must give you a description that is relatable, but if you know the book titled Skogland, it's closer to that. It's 16 episodes long, each one lasting about 80 minutes. Available on Viki.

I'm a little ashamed to say this, but do you have any BL? I do, I do

To My Star (2021) is a story about an actor and a chef, and how they learn to cohabit after the actor is forced into hiding. You can watch either the movie version or the drama version, both available on viki.

Color Rush (2020) is a modern romance fantasy about people called Monos who can't see any color unless they meet their Probes, however this may turn dangerous as the Monos may experience obsessive behavior, so what happens when a young high schooler meets his probe?. You can either watch it on its drama or movie version. Both available on viki. By the way, if you're a long time deobi and was wandering what happened to Hwall, he's one of the main leads.

You Make Me Dance (2021) follows the story of a university dancer who is in debt and his debt collector. Available on viki in both versions. The movie is 107 minutes long.

Just Friends (2009) is a short film, but ahead of its time, if you can't tell by the year it was released on. It's a cute story about a man who visits his boyfriend in the military. I found it in dramacool.

That's all from me, if you have any specific genre or them you felt I didn't add in, do feel free to tell me.

JK's Birth time analysis

First and foremost, I’m just doing this to occupy my mind in something else while I go through some stuff, I will continue to use the general consensus of the community for my astrology readings, I’m just doing this for fun, remember that we as fans are in no way entitled to know JK’s exact birth time, these are just fun educated guesses on some alternative that has arisen.

Now, I must say, when I first started the astro part of my bts blog I immediately thought 1 pm for JK’s birth time, I don’t have any factual backup on this one, I’ve talked about it before, I am kind of a human tarot deck lmao things sometimes just come to me. So I started roaming around and I found that JK’s libra rising made sense to me, and it was a general consensus for his readings so I said sure let's go. You know that I endorse and adore having conversations with you guys, my craft isn’t perfect and no one else's is so it is great to hear every opinion to forge our own judgement. I do only present to you information that I can back up, which is why as much as I’d love to I won’t be taking into consideration my own personal hunch on the info I’m about to present you, although you can read it as subtext when it is in italics like this hello this is an inner thought of marinette’s.

SO the big deal: Is JK a libra rising or is JK a sagittarius rising? General consensus says 8:04 am as speculated time of birth, some others say 1-2 pm.

Either way, JK’s sect remains nocturnal so there’s not much to go from there.

When it comes to appearances, I’ll update what I said before.

Libra rising appearance:

Very youthful look that it seems like you don’t even age

Gentle smile

Charming demeanour that makes people obsessed with you

Very symmetrical features

Fit body

Contagious smile

Put together look/ clean look

Dimples

Dark hair and dark eyes

Tall

Oval/Round face

Think Harry Styles, Beyoncé, Niall, Britney Spears

Sagittarius rising appearance:

Bulky thighs

Horse like face

Big forehead

Incredibly tall or more than average tall

Gain weight easily

Not really athletic

Pretty full lips

Think Kim Kardashian, Elvis, Jennifer Lawrence, Paris Hilton

Evidently, other aspects in astrology and genetics can alter these, but it is mostly true.

Now, I am not that well versed in vedic astrology since I stopped studying it due to lack of time BUT the infamous thread that looks into the possibility of JK being a sag rising is pretty elaborate, although it does run more on intuitive processes and symbolism, which are of course, valid, and it really is up to both the analyst and the ones reading the analysis to determine the weight of it. My craft is more oriented towards intersectionality so I don’t like to go by what we are able to see about him as an axis, more like confirmation about it. Idk if it makes sense. I just don't trust seemingly scripted content that much to run my analysis based on it. Everything mentioned about JK Jyestha makes sense when looking at the content presented, and it will make even more sense once we take a look at some other non western astrology systems. Again, I am not well versed in vedic astrology so right off the bat I would fight the conversion system rather than the information presented.

Regarding that thread, some of the keywords used to conclude JK’s Jyestha are as follows:

King, Winning, Ambitious, Passionate, Skillful, Eldest, 1st, Seniority, Expertise, Sensory indulgence, Celebration, Bravery, Heroic, Dragon Slayer, Warrior, Rain, Thunder, Umbrella, Protector, Provider, Scandalous, Impulsive, Bunny, Deer, Earring, Eye.

In western astrology, a general comparison on placements would look something like this.

Sun in 8° 33' Virgo

Moon in 27° 20' Leo

Mercury in 7° 49' Virgo (r)

Venus in 16° 58' Libra

Mars in 11° 7' Scorpio

Jupiter in 14° 15' Aquarius (r)

Saturn in 19° 35' Aries (r)

Uranus in 5° 28' Aquarius (r)

Neptune in 27° 33' Capricorn (r)

Pluto in 2° 55' Sagittarius

North Node in 20° 11' Virgo (r)

Chiron in 29° 45' Libra

Ascendant in 4° 20' Libra

MC in 4° 46' Cancer

1st House starts at 4° Libra

2nd House starts at 1° Scorpio

3rd House starts at 2° Sagittarius

4th House starts at 4° Capricorn

5th House starts at 7° Aquarius

6th House starts at 7° Pisces

7th House starts at 4° Aries

8th House starts at 1° Taurus

9th House starts at 2° Gemini

10th House starts at 4° Cancer

11th House starts at 7° Leo

12th House starts at 7° Virgo

In here, the main aspect I can relate JK to is Cancer MC, MC represents your public self, as well as the success level you might experience. Cancer MC is all about taking care of others, yet it can also point towards a career in arts, especifically singing and writing, it also indicates a strong possibility of psychic abilities which have been widely discussed in JK with his readings and such all while having the main troubles of being an impatient person and sometimes getting self conscious which we have heard him say before when he refers to himself knowing how to do stuff yet he doesn’t think he’s good at any of them, or his letters to himself about having to love himself more.

Another pretty JK thing I’ve noticed is his Virgo Stellium in the 12th House, which shows struggles with identity JK has, once again, being vocal about him growing up within BTS and how that has shaped him and how he has constantly been looking for himself. They often absorb the struggles of people around them. Does anyone else remember him saying he’s okay as long as his hyungs are okay? Also, singing and dancing are very powerful manifestation tools for these people huh maybe that’s why he writes and sings love songs. This aspect also indicates him having the potential to amass a large amount of wealth, some astrologers think about this stellium as an extremely karmic one, which can be translated into the whole JK’s soulmate narrative.

When it comes to his 5th house, it indicates him being a hell of a creative person, especially in a somewhat rebellious sense which I interpret as him getting a sleeve tattoo It also talks about not being traditional in relationships which I believe has come out a few times in his tarot readings.

With Sag rising, his chart would look something like this:

Sun in 8° 45' Virgo

Moon in 29° 46' Leo

Mercury in 7° 37' Virgo (r)

Venus in 17° 12' Libra

Mars in 11° 15' Scorpio

Jupiter in 14° 13' Aquarius (r)

Saturn in 19° 35' Aries (r)

Uranus in 5° 27' Aquarius (r)

Neptune in 27° 33' Capricorn (r)

Pluto in 2° 55' Sagittarius

North Node in 20° 10' Virgo (r)

Chiron in 29° 46' Libra

Ascendant in 5° 28' Sagittarius

MC in 18° 28' Virgo

1st House starts at 5° Sagittarius

2nd House starts at 7° Capricorn

3rd House starts at 12° Aquarius

4th House starts at 18° Pisces

5th House starts at 19° Aries

6th House starts at 14° Taurus

7th House starts at 5° Gemini

8th House starts at 7° Cancer

9th House starts at 12° Leo

10th House starts at 18° Virgo

11th House starts at 19° Libra

12th House starts at 14° Scorpio

In this case, his MC is in Virgo, it mainly indicates a tactful and slow success in someone’s career, these MC Virgo people are often regarded as overly responsible and as people that like to get recognised as people to whom nothing is hard enough for them to call it quits. While they openly seek perfection which ofc JK has always talked about improving himself they often love to do the stuff that others despise to do like countinc, calculating and organising.

Evidently there's no 12th House stellium, he would have a 9th House Leo stellium, which is most of the times noticeable at first glance, the moment these people open their mouths, everything is just extraordinaire, there’s a longing to be loved and to be admired in this aspect. They’re inspirational people to be around which JK is, if I remember the members saying that they get inspired when watching him make efforts. They’re also overly curious about stuff around them big doe eyes anyone?

In this case he would have a 5th House aries, meaning that there’s a need to be physically active and being creative on top of that which I mean does check out. They do tend to be openly superficial people and big-headed when they are in a successful position tho.

So okay, let’s talk native astrology, JK’s Tzolkin is Tz’i-Oc, noted by their need of freedom and less traditional relationships, they work tirelessly and have an innate ability to be successful and accumulate a lot of wealth once again, JK’s position in BTS shows up HE’s in a basic need of having a strong foundation, which he will not like to lead but more take the role of a caregiver that can easily turn into the one receiving care. Here’s the thing, there are a lot of Libra themes in his Day Sign and his Trecana Sign, both of them talking about justice, fairness, helpfulness, as well as him being a nomad which I interpret as having a libra/virgo mix that is really hard to miss Now, this is where it gets funny, His galactic tone is 4, which while it talks about balance and calmness and tranquility libra like it also is represented by a warrior, which is part of the twitter thread as one of the symbolisms to think about sag rising

Last but not least, JK’s bazi, since his contextual situation is leaning more towards it. I did a comparion and it caught my eye the next part:

One of the widely talked about symbols in the sag rising thread is the element of water being consistent with JK, and in his bazi, ¾ Na Yin, the element of water came out, however, they came out when his birth time is 08:04 am.

In his 08:04 bazi, some keywords are:

virtue

star

travel

In his 13:00 bazi, some keywords are:

monetary loss

star of arts

heavenly doctor

So really it all boils down to: we do readings for fun, craft is personal and completely valid in any form as long as we aren’t hurting anyone. We do not know his actual birth time and we actually might never know it, each astrologer is free to work with the birth time they consider the best fitting unless a specific time is given. I myself, see a libra rising fitting, perhaps if we were to trial and error it, some other might come out but honestly, these readings are a hobby and while I dedicate myself to my craft, I certainly don’t have the time that it would require to analyze each placement so I can see for myself which I find the best fitting out of 12 signs. But hey, this was a fun educational opportunity to dive into other practices.

all of mcr’s songs ranked out of ten based on whether or not you can strip to them:

romance: could work if you were going for a Super Melancholy smiths-esque vibe but overall too slow and pretty. 1/10

honey: headbanger soundtrack to showcase your revenge body to ur ex. bonus points for underlying ‘gonna murder shitty boyfriend’ context thanks to audition-inspired video. but slightly too angry to be seductive. 5/10

vampires: too goth, too many feelings. reminds me of pot dreads frank. would not work. 0/10

drowning lessons: this song is cursed and cannot be listened to in public unfortunately 0/10

sorrows: if u were going to do a strip routine while beating the shit out of someone for trying to stealing ur tip money this would be a gr8 choice 6/10

halos: it’s about blowing your own head off and taking too many pills to cope w/ wanting to die all the time. 0/10

turnstiles: please do not!!! strip!!! to a song!!! about 9/11!!!! what is wrong w/ you!!! -100000000/10

monroeville: if u were doing a private lil strip dance for your george a. romero-obsessed s.o. where u both cry over the idea of having to kill the other person b/c they turned into a zombie then sure??? but other than that no. .5/10

best day ever: ehhhhhh. too fast. kinda weird to get sexy to unless u have a hospital kink. 0/10

cubicles: wow the thought of doing a strip routine to a song about pining for ur coworker who doesn’t know u exist is too sad to even joke about -20/10

demolition lovers: it’s a long song but it’s got cool tempo changes for variety and if u got the stamina then go for it. 4/10

helena: so, like, i get it. it’s a bop. u could dance to this beat for sure. the costumes and color scheme from the video make for gr8 stage pictures and the dancing corpse lady is v pretty. i could understand why if u were doing an emo strip routine u would want to use helena. but please for the love of all that is holy do NOT strip to a song gerard way wrote about his dead grandmother okay i am BEGGING you -∞/10

give ‘em hell kid: FUCK YEAH YOU LOOK PRETTY WALKIN DOWN THE STREET IN THE BEST DAMN DRESS U OWN. 10/10

to the end: this would be a hilarious choice for a bachelor party ngl 7/10 for that alone

prison: absolutely you could strip to this song but u gotta COMMIT okay u gotta light something on fire onstage and challenge gender norms while screaming your head off 8/10 but only if ur not a coward

i’m not okay: it’s a bop, but can u strip to it? no. 0/10

ghost of you: mikey way did not die on a beach in fake normandy for u to strip to ghost of you. seek help -5/10

jetset life: dude this song like. actually works??? for a strip routine??? so long as you don’t actually listen to the words, from a musical perspective, u could totally strip to this 10/10

interlude: what kinda weird catholic shame kink do u need to have to strip to this song. also it’s too short and too pretty. -5/10 (unless ur into catholic shame idk)

venom: this would require such a high energy routine but if u can make being sweaty work then this is a gr8 choice 7/10

hang ‘em high: this is a BATSHIT INSANE choice for a strip routine but if u want to do it then PLEASE do. i like ur style. 8/10

deathwish: u can strip to this only if u introduce ur routine by dedicating it to everyone who ever said eyeliner on dudes was gay. 5/10

cemetery drive: i think not. 0/10

never told you: if u are a highly theatrical highly murderous stripper then yes definitely 7/10

desert song: this song is Way Too Beautiful to strip to sorry you can’t have it -300/10

the end.: the only sexy thing about this song is how good gerard’s voice sounds so no. 0/10

dead!: this is a bold fucking choice but u have to play your cards just right. high risk high reward but SO much to potentially get wrong 6/10

how i disappear: u could. but why. 2/10

sharpest lives: holy SHIT yes ABSOLUTELY u should strip to sharpest lives. the drama. the beat. the spy rock guitar that frank accidentally nailed. this is one of THE choicest options from their catalog. why aren’t u stripping to this right now 50000000/10

wttbp: cute idea but don’t actually 0/10

i don’t love you: again, a bold fucking choice. u could strip to this in an edgy, meta sort of way but it’s missing the trashy factor so it’d have to be part performance art and part strip routine. if ur into that then totally 5/10

house of wolves: i mean i would pay money to see someone strip to this song so 7/10

cancer: LMAO YIKES -2000000/10

mama: this would be GLORIOUS if u fully embraced the sheer insanity and went Bonkers in Fuckin Zonkers burlesque-show-in-hell w/ it. 100/10 but u gotta pound the floor wailing at some point

sleep: i’m conflicted on this one like on the one hand it’s a good tempo for stripping but on the other hand it’s a song about being cruel to ur loved ones in order to force distance between u and them b/c you’re terrified of them getting hurt and it being all your fault. so maybe don’t strip to this one actually 0/10

teenagers: a bop w/ a great beat and fun costume ideas from the video but two major drawbacks being 1. ur getting naked to a song about teenagers which is uhhhh sort of Inappropriate and 2. it’s kind of also about school shooters which is also Inappropriate to get naked to. 0/10

disenchanted: why would u want this. you sad fuck. idek what to say except if you want to strip to this song i’m crying on your behalf -100000000/10

famous last words: don’t????? don’t. Do Not. stop that. -12/10

blood: this is HILARIOUS omg please strip to blood 10/10

kill all your friends: sure?? no objections but it’s an odd choice. this goes for the demo too. 2/10

heaven help us: if u want to strip to this then you definitely just read unholyverse for the first time and while u are valid, Don’t 0/10

my way home is through you: not an especially sexy song but it’s fun!! you do you 3/10

astro zombies (cover): uhhhhhh it’s a no from me dawg. i’d be thinking about danzig, like, the whole time. 0/10

desolation row: sure but u gotta be willing to get punched in the face by the riot squad for maximum effect 4/10

common people (cover): just b/c gerard would strip to britpop doesn’t mean u can. 0/10

emily: NO!!!! -50000/10

party at the end of the world: nah. 0/10

not that kind of girl: literally please consider the subject matter of this song and rethink ur life choices. -10/10

all the angels: it’s a cool song but don’t strip to it that’s weird -2/10

jack the ripper: you and the person who wants to strip to astro zombies can go sit in the suicidegirls corner together how about that. 0/10

na na na: a banger!! strip away my friend 9/10

bulletproof heart: a good song but not a strip song 1/10

sing: sorry this song is [REDACTED] it gets no score

planetary (go!): you could try to strip to this but it’s such a classic four-on-the-floor that i think you’d end up just regular dancing to it and forget to be sexy so 4/10

the only hope for me is you: are you doing a strip tease for michael bay. stop. put ur shirt back on shia lebeouf 0/10

party poison: like this is a hilarious option and i support you but realistically it’s pretty fast for a strip song 3/10

save yourself, i’ll hold them back: this is a safe option. Too Safe. almost soulless. a person who’d strip to this would avoid eye contact the entire time and never smile and later when you went out for a smoke break you’d overhear them on the phone with their ex arguing over child support payments. 4/10

s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w: the more i think about it the more fun the idea of stripping to this becomes so i say go for it 6/10

summertime: i’m Certain that gerard would prefer if you didn’t -5/10

destroya: is this objectively the best mcr song to strip to? Absolutely. it’s got everything you could possibly want right down to built-in moans and fever dream drums. but the only person in the universe who Can Must and Should strip to this song is gerard. sorry them’s the breaks. ∞/10 but only if you’re gerard way

kids from yesterday: don’t. 0/10

vampire money: 100% yes you should strip to this. bonus points for stealth twilight references 1000000/10

we don’t need another song about california: do i like this song? yes. is it sexy? no. 0/10

black dragon fighting society: i can’t understand what the FUCK gerard is saying in this song AT ALL so i can’t recommend that u strip to it b/c i have no fucking idea what it’s ABOUT 0/10

f.t.w.w.w.: i mean. this song is about eating pussy. and robots that are built specifically to fuck. so yes you can strip to this but you gotta dress up like a pornbot 100/10

mastas of ravencroft: again i cannot understand most of the fucking words and the ones i do understand are something something RICKETY BONES RICKETY HANDS so like. probably not the one 0/10

boy division: i could go either way on this one like it’s really fast but it’s also about cocaine so??? 3/10

tomorrow’s money: while this song slaps overall violent nihilism does not a strip song make 1/10

ambulance: no. 0/10

gun.: antiwar messages are sexy but not the right kind for stripping 1/10

the world is ugly: PLEASE no. 0/10

the light behind your eyes: oh my god this is so DEPRESSING why would you want to strip to this who hurt you -2000000/10

kiss the ring: yes yes yes it’s got built-in audience participation conceit factor if u let ur audience kiss ur ring, totally works 10/10

make room!!!: again, slaps, but not a strip song 1/10

surrender the night: dude we talked about this!!! dying violently w/ ur loved ones is Not Sexy!!! 0/10

burn bright: i guess you could strip to this but again it’s Too Safe tread carefully 3/10

fake your death: i want frank iero to strip to this song so i can throw tomatoes at him for being a LYING SACK OF SHIT FOR TWO YEARS i’m not gonna rate this one but frank if ur out there i have a basket of slightly squishy heirloom tomatoes and i am COMING FOR YOU

Twin Kingdoms (A3! Event story) - Epilogue: The Inheritance of G

Sorry for the delay! Reni talks A LOT. Some minor development concerning Hakkaku’s plans for the final play. Kindly excuse any potential mistakes!

Chapter 10 | Index

Reni: Thank you for taking the trouble to come. Board member A: Good work. It was the sprouting of a new GOD Troupe. Board member B: Both Asuka-kun and Takato-kun did great as well. They grew into fine actors. Board member A: Speaking of, Takato-kun no longer belongs to the GOD Troupe? Reni: That is correct. Currently, he's active as a member of the reborn MANKAI Company. Reni: If you would like, I want to introduce you to MANKAI Company's general director, who is in the back right now--. Board member A: I'm sorry, but we actually have a meeting. We will have to leave right away. Reni: Is that so?.... I will send you an invitation to MANKAI Company's next play, then. Board member A: Thank you. Board member B: It would have been nice if Amadate-san had been able to come as well, right? Being a theatre junkie too, he loves collaboration plays like this. Board member A: It appears he's in the middle of a business trip in the countryside, so there was no way around it. Reni: I see.... Board member A: We will be taking our leave, then. Reni: Take care on your way. Reni: (That leaves Syu--) Reni: (He left? I keep telling him to let me say hello, at least. Good grief.)

Izumi: That's a very lavish closing party. Azami: Are the ones here all staff members of the GOD Troupe? Tasuku: Yeah. The closing parties are always like this. Tsuzuru: What an incredible difference to ours. Haruto: Normally, we don't do such flashy things, but it's GOD Troupe's style to go all out when it's to reward the staff and actors. Azami: I want that yakuza to hear this, too. Tasuku: Feels like he'd only consider it after we earn as much as the GOD Troupe does. Azami: Urg. You're right, he totally would. Shift: Azami, the food is really awesome, so you'd better eat a lot. I always take some home in Tupperware. Haruto: You're the top actor; don't do something so miserly! Tsuzuru: Speaking of, there is so much food, I don't even know what to choose from... Izumi: Why don't we try a bit of each for now? Madoka: Hello, Minagi-san. Tsuzuru: Oh, Madoka, hey. Madoka: I wanted to say once more how nice it was to have been able to work alongside you. Thank you. Tsuzuru: The pleasure was mine. I learned a lot, and it was very stimulating. Tsuzuru: Thanks to working with you, I wondered if that was what it is like to have a conversation through a brush. Tsuzuru: For the first time, I experienced the feeling of exchanging ideas and feelings beyond speaking in words. Izumi: (Seems like this was even greater of an experience for Tsuzuru-kun than expected.) Tsuzuru: ....That reminds me. Director, there is something I would like to talk to you about. Tsuzuru: About the play that Hakkaku-san was envisioning - how do you feel about having his grandson help with the script? Tsuzuru: While working on the script with him this time, there were of course his skills, but it was also really easy do to. Tsuzuru: On top of the written interaction between Hakkaku-san and Madoka that would be born, I think it'd make Hakkaku-san happy that Madoka is writing for it. Izumi: Indeed, that might be a pretty good idea. Tsuzuru: Well, it all depends on Madoka, though. Madoka: --Of course, please let me do it. Madoka: If I could experience the ideas of the grandfather that I respected and work on writing a script for my brother, it would make me very happy, too. Tsuzuru: Great. Izumi: (Looks like Tsuzuru-kun was able to become friends with someone great to consult with. He did say that he didn't yet have the confidence to put what Hakkaku-san entrusted us with into shape.) Izumi: (But I'm sure it will work out with such a reassuring colleague like Madoka by his side.)

Host: The next number is--number 25! If you have a bingo, please come up! Shift: So, Haruto-san? Got one? Haruto: Not at all. Shift: Oh, you're one number away! If a 23 or 67 is called-- Haruto: I've never managed to get a win before, so it'll be a bust anyway. Shift: Eh, as I thought, you usually don't win at this stuff, hm? Tasuku: I've received stuff like a TV and a microwave. Shift: Seriously!? Haruto: You-...you usually play dirty. Also, stop showing off yer muscles by only wearin' short sleeves in the practice room! Izumi: Showing off muscles.... Tasuku: Haruto really is a pain when he's drunk... Izumi: And he's the type whose dialect slips out when he gets drunk, isn't he? Tasuku: He also gave me his real name, Yamada Genta, himself while he was intoxicated. Host: The next number is--23! Shift: Oh, Haruto-san, Bingo! Haruto: Huh? Shift: You've got a Bingo! Go up front! Haruto: Really...? Reni: Congratulations. Here is your prize. Haruto: Thank you. Reni: Ah, right. After the Bingo game, wait at the entrance for me. Haruto: --I will! Shift: Haruto-san, lead actor power! Azami: Congrats. Madoka: How great. Shift: What was your prize? Haruto: Erm...an eletronic kettle... Haruto: Sigh...you take it. Shift: Eh!? You sure!? Haruto: I've already got one. I can't possibly replace that, right? Shift: I can use it for cup udon! Haruto: Listen when other people talk!

Host: That concludes the Bingo tournament! Haruto: --

Haruto: ..... Reni: Sorry for calling you out here. Haruto: D-, don't be! Reni: I wanted to continue our conversation from the other day. About my coaching methods having changed... Reni: The main cause was that I realised my real feelings that were dormant within me. Reni: For a long time, I was obsessed, and I didn't have the room to properly consider anything but the members of my own theatre company. I failed as a chairman. Haruto: That's--you are my life, Reni-san! Haruto. --I, I'm sorry. I will mind my words. Reni: That's also a facade you put up, right? From now on, you don't have to hide it needlessly unless you’re on stage. Reni: ....You know that Tachibana, the father of MANKAI Company's general director, and I are old friends, right? Haruto: Yes. Reni: Even after I set up the GOD Troupe, I kept being influenced by Tachibana without realising it. Reni: Because of that, my field of vision became narrower, and my attention shifted to the individuality and variety each actor possessed　and I dared to avoid making use of that. Reni: Rather than the talent that Tachibana was blessed with, he emphasised making use of what each actor was born with and making them bloom "like" on a stage. Reni: I was against Tachibana's way of doing things and quit MANKAI Company. And therefore, I persisted with denying Tachibana's methods. Reni: If the GOD Troupe would succeed that way, I figured I'd be able to rank above Tachibana. Reni: ...But I was wrong. You guys made me realise that with your play. Reni: Tachibana's way was right. That's why I was enchanted by the man of the theatre named Tachibana Yukio. Reni: I had just intended to pursue my own ideals, but in the end, I am a merciless man who depends on one person. Reni: ...Are you disenchanted? Haruto: Na--no! Even then, I like the ideals you pursue. Haruto: As for my life as an actor, it will never change the fact that you are my greatest benefactor. Reni: Right...If I recall correctly, you broke away from your hometown in order to become an actor, right? Reni: Actors express something for the entire audience-- There is truth to it, but it's also part masquerade. Reni: Among the audience, there might also be one person whom you really want to reach. Who is that to you? Why do you continue acting? Haruto: At first, that was definitely my mother. Haruto: (She was very opposed to my moving to the capital, but even then, I'm sure she must have had great expectations for my future...) Haruto: (She must have also wanted to get back at all of those back in our hometown who knew that I wanted to become an actor and made fun of it.) Haruto: (After I'd entered the theatre company, I also discovered a rival that I absolutely did not want to lose against. But...) Reni: And now? Haruto: It's Reni-san. Haruto: Ever since Tasuku was in the GOD Troupe... Haruto: I was always wavering between a feeling of definitely surpassing him one day, and a feeling of possibly being no match for his talent. Haruto: This time, I lost sight of the meaning behind me continuing as an actor when I experienced my own powerlessness while once again being jealous of Tasuku's skills. Haruto: But, even if I can't win against the "real deal", I want to repay you and the GOD Troupe for the rest of my life. Haruto: That I'm going to continue with acting is for the sake of expressing my gratitude for being able to meet you and the GOD Troupe. Haruto: I want to make the superior ensemble that is the GOD Troupe eternal. Haruto: Being far from the world I dreamed of, I came to Tokyo with longing and met the GOD Troupe, which felt like my only destiny among many theatre companies. Haruto: The vague longing to go to a beautiful dream world has turned into a firm vow to carry on in/with the GOD Troupe. Haruto: So no matter what happens, I will never leave the GOD Troupe, I will never leave under Reni-san. Reni: --. Reni: ...During this time's rehearsals, I felt a little envious of Tachibana. Reni: While working on the conception with Tachibana's daughter, I felt a sensitivity within her that was close to Tachibana's. Reni: I'm sure that she must have inherited something akin to the theatre spirit that Tachibana believed in. Reni: I wished I had someone that could take over after me like that.  Haruto: You have me. Reni: ...Yes, indeed. I was reminded of that just now. There is no one but you who could inherit the ideals of the GOD Troupe. Reni: Haruto, carry a strong spirit as an actor. Haruto: I will. Reni: A spirit that I.... The kind of spirit of being an actor that I have acknowledged as the chairman of the first generation of the GOD Troupe. Haruto: --I will engrave that in my memory!

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Chapter 10 | Index