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jazajas · 4 years

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okay so i finished love, victor a while ago and i saw some other reviews and thoughts about it here so now i've got a pretty good list on my thoughts and feelings.

tl;dr: it has some issues, yes, but im gonna hold out and hope it gets better later on because the same thing happened with the first few eps, i wasn't that into it but then it got good, and nothing is ever great with the first season, because at that point we're getting used to those characters.

⚠️caution: spoilers ahead (im on mobile, i cant get an under-the-cut)⚠️

1. while a leah on the offbeat movie would have been amazing movie sequel (even tho i havent read the book yet, im just here for the wlw content) i am kind of glad we got this instead. mostly because I've seen book series where one movie was good, so they decide to do the rest, turn out bad (hunger games? divergent? percy jackson? the hobbit?) because so much was cut from the book-to-first movie writing, that other scenes wouldn't make sense to future movies if they had those in while cutting others. however, i am sad that i didn't get to make the choice of deciding whether what was cut was wrong etc. about future movies, but i'll take what i can get.

2. LGBTQ+ POC as a lead! that's amazing! as a ace/bi lantina that's close to home (it also is great that victor's from texas and so is ya gorl) and even then it's a mixed latinx family! i think pilar mentioned that at least the grandmother left Colombia and i saw the Puerto Rican flag in victor's room. also the salazar's are definitely from small town texas, even without knowing the name. (church barbeques, the use of the words "such a diverse city" in regards to atlanta)

3. a lack of actual lgbtq+ main storylines (so far) is kind of sad for a show like this. i was getting serious bi/pan vibes (as a lot of other people) from victor from the beginning, and when it was implied that victor was actually gay (while great, not shaming) as it has been brought to my attention, there was a lot of looking at a lot of straight relationship problems (please let us know more about benji)- edit 6/18: upon further consideration, it very much is a show about questioning your sexuality, I'm speaking about the other straight relationship issues, not mia and Victor's, its just the first season.

4. let us talk about cheating for a sec. never okay, in any circumstance. i feel sorry for mia that she saw victor making out with benji and the fact that he was doing any of that in the first place. victor made a choice to lie about the espresso machine and then kissed benji at the hotel and then when benji was fighting with derek, basically confessed his love and mistakes, then proceeded to makeout with benji after he broke up with derek, he built that grave and now he must lie in it. i get having feelings for a guy when you are in a relationship with a girl, and not accepting yourself enough to end that relationship but you really want it to work so you can be "normal". really, he should have told mia after he got back from the trip tho. i get being in highschool and doing stupid stuff and making dumb decisions, but for a show aimed at teens i think we should also remind said teens to make good choices even if we have to lose some realism within the character choices.

4. pilar and her decisions based off her brother pissed me off. because i honestly think that if she'd kept her mouth shut about what she knew or confronted victor about it in the first place we could have avoided a LOT of mess. did she not learn from snooping around her mother's business about her relationships that going behind a person's back doesnt end well? i did, however, like the pilar/felix friendship and was really kind of hoping that they'd get together during their coffee hangout (although now im glad that didn't happen) because they had a deeper understanding of each other. same with wendy/felix, although they do seem to much alike to work out in the long run but i still feel bad for wendy.

5. i don't know how i feel about lake and andrew, as people separate from each other. both seem to be the way they are from their upbringing (not confirmed why andrew is such an ass, but if his comment about his dad is anything to go by i bet it's got something to do with attention) but andrew seems to be less, idk, superficial? like he turned down mia because he didn't want to be a rebound, he didn't out victor, he actually stood up to early teasing the other dudes in the lockerroom were doing at victor (with teasing of his own obviously but that interaction had him on my nice list until much later). lake? lake. i honestly don't have an opinion of her? not really. i mean after hanging out with pilar i was hoping felix wouldn't go back to lake. is her name laken? i feel like her full name is laken. but they also played the "im only like this because my mom is really superficial about stuff and i do like the geeky nice guy but appearances" to "actually screw the norms im gonna makeout with him infront of the whole student body". i honestly thought she was gonna be bi because she kept hitting on mia when she was helping set up for her "date" and "big night" and there was one point where i saw her face fall at something mia said in relation to her and idk i was hoping she'd be bi (i figured early on that victor/mia wasnt gonna work and was like "oh mia/lake would be cute" but now idk.

6. okay on to the "big night", i have one word. NO. i didn't like the peer pressure into having sex. i agreed with felix when he said "your body your choice" but im also disappointed that victor made out with mia and when lake was talking to felix after victor left he didn't try to stand up for victor.

7. on to age gaps because i hadn't really thought of this at first. we'll start with benji/derek: WHAT GRADE IS BENJI?! because that determines my thoughts. if he's a sophomore that meant that he and Derek started dating benji's freshman year and thats eugh, don't do that, don't care if its a gay couple that shouldn't be happening because the maturity of the two characters is DRASTICALLY different (this is also a reason i am not a fan of cmbyn) but that would explain why they were so rocky. hoping the event at the gay bar was open to anyone not just for drinking, but not liking that fact that not one of the adults with victor were like: hey, this is a 16 year old, that's kind of wack when that dude was hitting on victor. that made me question some stuff. although i figure it might be making up for the lack of a gay bar scene in love, simon. but even then, in svthsa it's a restaurant with a bar that some people go to just to drink at, it wasn't just a bar, simon could be there but should NOT have accepted drinks from college kids, not matter how attractive.

8. i loved how bram and simon and their friends helped victor out though. i like how bram was like: hey i know my friends are a lot so here's a gay basketball league becaue there's no one way to be gay. i like how Simon talked about needing help himself just to help victor and how he said his friends were cool with it because it's a community. i like of justin(?) mentioned how being what his parents wanted was putting on a mask and pretending, not him doing drag. my favorite lines from that ep are: "and before you ask my pronouns are they/them/theirs" "'they're all gay? even that guy? he's like [insert really tall number]' 'yeah. you should see him in heels'" "or in simon's case: really unathletic" "and also because bram said that if i wore [the jean jacket] one more time he'd burn it". also katya was there. and the group hug too!

9. the back hand homophobia in relation to family is sad, but realistic and i sincerely hope his parents are kind enough not to be too harsh on victor because of it. anything they say that isn't positive or supportive of victor is bad but i hope they realize that there is more to him than that and that they can come to terms with it because it's not always that hard to be a part of that community and super religious. i am biromantic and catholic. and while there are some things i wont agree on my mom with, i know that it's more of a strike against God for kicking out gay kids from families than it is to be gay, because those parents were given trust by GOD to love those kids no matter what, and be good parents. so in the end, the parents are wrong and harmful and in the case of christians against jesus's teachings to love everyone.

10. this is fan speculation but dont think simon/bram are going through a rough patch? i honestly think it'd be a little cruel to the characters to have on of their actors be producing but then not have that relationship stay. and while it's not set in stone and obviously things happen in the real world, we have no proof script wise about there being a rift. all we have are bad photoshopped ig photos and scenes where two characters are never standing next to each other probably beccaue schedules never link up correctly for minor characters. who knows, maybe nick robinson was filming for a movie where is does have an even more major role than victor's gay guru in a series about victor so his filming time was around that. im gonna keep hope that things are okay.

11. that being said: we need more mainstream wlw content, because someone said it earlier and it really does seem to be catering to straight girls. i'll admit i did freak out when benji played call me maybe which is something i associated with him and victor but then kissed a guy because who wouldn't? we get that serenade and sweetness and then it'a ripped from us. but i did mellow out. if i flipped later it was because victor was making dumb decisions and i had to give myself a moment of compsure before i continued.

in the end, i'd say that there is a lot of growth this series needs to go through, but i also know that some people just aren't going to like it and i get that. but i also know that sometimes the best of stories have rocky starts, nothing is ever perfect from the beginning. and besides, further seasons are on hold until we figure out this covid thing, which means that you bet they're gonna be looking at our feedback. they saw what we thought before, they can do it again

i really did like it but we need more ACTUAL lgbtq+ relationship stuff from this series and better decisions on what we are teaching the younger generations, as well as what we want to focus on and realism within characters. i'm giving it an 8/10, because there is always room for growth and i really hope we get better things out of this than what we have been given in season 2.

edit: someone mentioned it really seeming like it was meant for Disney+ and i felt that. also to anyone who reaches the tags agter reading ALL OF THIS: i am sorry

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ssfghfrrggf · 3 years

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No Better Plans

A Burzek fic suggested/requested by @cpdxdaily ( @ruzek-pearson ) (Idk which blog you wanted me to at for this lol)

Adam and Kim spend their New Year’s Eve working overtime in a blizzard... and maybe re-realizing some old feelings too.

“Damn it, where did he go?” Adam huffs, shining his flashlight all around them. Kim can’t see more than a couple feet around them in any given direction even with the flash light; the snow is falling too thickly and it’s too dark.

“We should probably just head back to the car,” Kim suggests. Finding one crazed crack head isn’t worth getting lost in a blizzard and freezing to death over. Not to mention they chased him through so many back allies she’s not even sure which direction the car’s in anymore, and following their tracks back won’t work because the snow is covering them almost as fast as they’re making them. “We know what he looks like. We can find him later. There’s not even anyone else out in this mess for him to be a danger too.”

“Fine,” Adam agrees and rubs his jaw. Kim can see a bruise from where the guy decked him. “Where even is the car?”

“That I’m really not sure about,” Kim admits looking around them. Everything looks the same, white. Everything is white, and the one thing that looks like it could be a street sign is plastered in snow and ice so she can’t read a single word it says.

“Maybe we should forget the car and just find somewhere to shelter in place,” Adam suggests, tucking his chin deeper into the collar of his coat trying to protect his face from the freezing cold wind blasting snow and ice into their faces; it’s funny how much more unbearable it is now that they’re not chasing anyone.

“We ran past what looked liked a scrap yard not too far back, I bet there's some kind of little manager's office we could break into or something,” Kim suggests. She can feel her teeth starting to chatter and her fingers and toes are starting to ache from the cold. Breaking and entering is among the last things she wants to do right now, but the likelihood of them finding the car and actually being able to get in and get it started again is slim to none in this much snow. And frankly she’s not even sure if she could make it back to the car in this much cold.

“Okay,” Adam breathes; she can see him clenching his jaw like he’s trying to stop his teeth from chattering too. There’s flecks of snow and ice frozen in his beard, that make him look even colder than she feels. “How far back was it?”

“Not far,” Kim says and turns around pointing her face into the wind. She hopes she’s picking the right direction, but it’s hard to tell since she can’t see more than a couple feet in front of her and everything looks basically the same.

“Look we can try to follow what’s left of our tracks,” Adam suggests and throws one arm over shoulders, pulling her close to him. She almost pulls away from him, mostly on instinct, but she stops herself. With all the layers their wearing there’s not much body heat to be shared between them, but the very thought and feeling of him holding her close to him makes her feel just a little bit warmer.

By the time they reach the small building mostly likely serving as the office to the scrap yard, the snow is well past their knees and Kim can barely feel her fingers and toes anymore; she can also feel Adam shaking next to her, one of his arms still wrapped around her shoulders keeping her tucked close his body blocking her from the most the wind.

“Alright, the door opens in,” he breathes, his voice is shaky and quiet. “So I should just be able to shoulder it open.”

“Make sure you don’t dislocate your arm trying to break it down,” Kim cations as he peels away from her to attempt to break the door down. It’s not until he’s standing away from that realizes just much warmer she was tucked next to his side.

“I do that, we can get a heated ride to the hospital,” He jokes and slams the side of his body against the door with a grunt. By some miracle that’s all it takes, and the door swings wide open. He grabs Kim before she can react and pulls her inside with him before slamming the door closed behind them.

“Let’s see what we got in here,” he says clicking on his flashlight. The light beam spans out across the small dusty room casting strange shadows as it bounces of the shelves and various tool boxes with wrenches and any number of other things sticking out of them. There’s a small dirty and torn up couch in one corner of the room and a couple old scratchy looking blankets folded on the back of it. It doesn’t look like anyone's sat on the thing in years.

“There’s a space heater over here,” Kim says, her own flashlight beam falling on an old probably faulty space heater. “We could plug it in near the couch. Use those blankets, wait out the storm.”

“Sounds good to me,” Adam says and picks up the space heater in one hand to carry it over to the couch. “We’ll have to keep an eye on it though. Make sure it doesn’t explode or anything.”

“Yeah of course,” Kim agrees and plugs the cord into a wall socket. The old rickety space heater hums to life and a warm orange glow lights it up.

“Good, now we gotta get this snow off,” Adam says brushing the snow off her with his gloved hands. “Being wet is the last thing either of us needs to be.”

Kim smiles and stands still as she lets him brush the snow off her; he does it with a soft and gentle care that she rarely sees from him. But she likes his soft side, loves it really; it’s what made her fall in love with him all those years ago, and really it’s why she’s still in love with him.

“Come here, Kim,” Adam says gently and grabs one of the blankets off the couch as soon as he done getting the snow off of both of them; he throws it around her shoulders and then before she can say anything he scoops her up into his arms and sits down on the couch keeping her legs draped over his and her body tucked against his. He pulls the second blanket over their legs and rests his chin on top of her head.

Kim smiles and lets her head rest against his chest; it’s not the most comfortable feeling, his vest is hard and lumpy under his coat, but she can still listen to his calm even breathing and feel the steady rise and fall of his chest, and that’s all she needs. It’s really all she’s ever needed- it took her a long time to realize it but Adam’s all she needs.

“Warm yet?” Adam asks quietly, keeping his arms wrapped around her.

“Yeah, thanks Adam,” she mumbles and looks out across the room. There’s an old clock on the wall, she’s not sure if it’s right, but it says 11:45 on it.

“Can I ask you something?” Adam whispers.

“Sure.”

“Why are you out here freezing your ass off with me on New Year’s Eve?” Adam ventures after a moment of silence.

“Didn’t have any better plans,” Kim replies leaning her head back so she’s looking up at him.

“I thought your mom was coming to town…”

“Her flight got cancelled, so asked Trudy to let me ride with you,” Kim replies and grabs one of Adam’s hands in hers. In all honesty she probably would’ve cancelled her plans with her mom to spend tonight with Adam even if her flight didn’t get cancelled. Everyone else had plans. Kevin flew to Texas, Hailey and Jay had said they were planning on hanging out and getting drinks, Voight- Voight hadn’t said what he was doing, but that’s normal. Adam on the other hand had simply said he was tight for money and needed some over time, and it made Kim feel bad for him.

“I’m really sorry to hear that. I know you almost never get to see your mom,” Adam says sympathetically. “And being with family definitely beats being holed up in here with me on the holiday.”

“It’s okay, Adam,” Kim replies. She really is glad she’s here with him. “I’m happy I’m here with you.”

“That’s sweet to say, but you don’t have to lie to make me feel better,” Adam replies with a sad smile.

Kim sighs and squeezes his hand. “I meant it, Adam. I really did.”

“Thanks, Kim.”

“For what?”

“For being here with me. It’s cold and miserable and you could’ve stayed home where it’s warm,” Adam rambles. “But instead you’re here with me on this old couch with scratchy blankets and a mostly busted space heat- and… and you’re making things a lot less cold and miserable and-”

“I love you,” Kim blurts, interrupting him, and it’s the truth too. This where she wants to be, right here with him, the cold and snow be damned. She’s the happiest she’s been in a long time sitting here with him. “Adam, I love you.”

Adam blinks at her, surprised. She can see the gears turning in his head then he seems to find some new resolve and he smiles at her confidently. “Marry me.”

It’s not really a question, just the voicing of a silent thought buried some place in both their minds. Things got messed up the first time; they were both young and maybe a little stupid, but now…

She doesn’t say anything, she doesn’t need to. She knows he knows the answer; they’ve both beat around the bush long enough. They’re meant for each other, if that wasn’t clear at first it’s definitely clear now. She kisses him instead of speaking, no words can do her feelings justice.

And the clock on the wall says 12:00, not that either of them notice.

#burzek #chicago pd #one chicago #adam ruzek #kim burgess #cpd fic #chicago pd fic #fan fic #my fic #writing #sorry this is so short #i hope you enjoy it!

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #412

“there’s nothing i could ever write to help you understand this life / there’s so much beauty when your eyes lay lost in all the city lights”

Did you make any money today? Nope. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from? Idk. Have you ever gone swimming in a river? Yes, but it wasn't in a fast-flowing area of it. Is there something you really want to buy at the moment? I mention Venus' terrarium enough, so besides that, I'd really like to buy a plane ticket to see Sara, as well as new glasses. Would you ever consider culinary school? No. What was the last souvenir someone got you? uhhhhhhhh Do you have a favorite remix of a song? BOI I couldn't begin. Has the power gone out recently? No. Do you like driving at night? NOOOOOOO. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument? Either a violin or piano. Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies? Nope. Have you ever snuck in to a theater/dance/bar etc? No. If given the chance, would you go to Ireland? Yeah! I'd love to go on a photography journey there. Are you afraid of standing on the edge of hills/skyscrapers/cliffs etc? Yeah, heights scare me and I have a serious case of "what if I jumped off?". I'm not suicidal or anything, but there's an actual term for that urge that is somewhat normal. I just can't remember what it is. Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar etc)? Probably the clouded leopard. But I LOVE wild cats. I think lions are the most interesting. Do you have an absolute favorite name (boy or girl)? Alessandra, 120%. It is so beautiful-sounding, plus I love that you can use "Alessa" as a nickname. My Silent Hill obsession is quite thrilled by that, ha ha. Are you good at pronouncing foreign words? I'm decent with German. When listening to music, do you usually tap your foot etc to the beat? It's weird, I actually have a habit of swaying my leg back and forth. Not even to the beat, I just do it. Have you ever literally cried on a friend's shoulder? Yes. Would you ever consider being a DJ at a party if you were paid? No. Do strapless bras work for you? Look man my boobs are too big for those lmao. Has anyone told you that they wanted to marry you/were planning on it/etc? Many times. Guess who's not around anymore. Do you feel comfortable enough to wear short shorts? HELL no. Have a favorite actor/actress from Old Hollywood? (Marilyn Munroe, etc) Not really. What's your opinion on people who stretch their ears? You do you, boo. Do you think tattoos are expressive art or unattractive? A R T ! ! ! What is your school mascot? I'm not in school. Have you ever seen a bear in the wild? No. What's the book you're currently reading? Wings of Fire: Moon Rising. Can you recall the most disturbing movie you've ever seen? Paranormal Entity. Has anyone you know gotten mono? My older sister did when she was I think in high school. Have you ever picked an apple off the tree and eaten it? Yes, actually! It was one of the best apples I'd ever tasted. Can you say yes/no in different languages? In German, ja. (See what I did there lololol I'm clever.) Out of the traditional superheroes, which one is your favorite? Spider-Man. Ever peed in your pants after the age of 10? Maybe TMI, but a few years ago, I had a very strange episode of premature incontinence. It stopped, but it was very weird and embarrassing. Had any surgeries? What kind? I had tubes put in my ears as a two-year-old, and I wanna say at the end of 2016 is when I had my cyst removal surgery. Ever told your parents you hated them? My dad, yes. Very vehemently. I will always regret the letter I sent him. Do you let your pets on your furniture? Of course. This is their house, too. How do you feel about kettle cooked chips? Ew. How strong do you like your coffee? I don't like coffee, period. Would you rather see someone of the opposite sex naked or nicely dressed? Uhhhh I dunno. I guess it depends on the mood. Would you ever consider visiting Texas? I have friends there I'd love to meet, but I don't think so. Too hot. If you could make a movie, what would it be about? Some of the less-upsetting/disturbing RP stories I've taken part in writing. If you were kicked out of your current residence whom would you call? My dad. Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? I mean I do, but I don't think now is the time. I need to set shit straight about myself first. Do you prefer broccoli or asparagus? Broccoli. Asparagus is repulsive. Was the last person you kissed attractive? She's gorgeous. Are you racist at all? Not at all. Do you read creepypasta? If not, you should. Nah. Have you ever vandalized? Nope. Would you ever scuba dive in shark-infested waters if you had the chance? Most likely not. And by the way, they do not "infest" waters. That's their home. I hate that phrase so much. Have you ever been drunk at work? No. Have you ever hit a parked car with your car? No. Have you ever slept on the floor with someone you like? Yes. I remember Jason and I made a palette on the living room floor at least one night. It was SO uncomfortable. I don't even remember why we did it. Which do you prefer: french toast, bagels, or cereal? French toast. *_* Do you prefer light or dark haired? I prefer colorful hair. Have you ever read any of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books? No. I remember we had at least one, though. Would you be prepared to do a job that you didn’t like, if it paid well? No. That would affect my depression so badly. Do you think age is needed for maturity? Absolutely not. Do you believe the future is predetermined? No. What the hell would even be the point if it was? Like you'd have no free will; you'd just be a character in a story a higher power wrote. What words are most comforting to you? "I love you," "I'm here for you," "you're strong enough to get through this," stuff like that. How important is money to you? I have a stressful relationship with money. I've never in my life had a stable income because the three jobs I've had were so incredibly short-lived, so the money I DO get, I cherish the shit outta it.. I make sure I REALLY want something, and I mean it modestly, but I'm also honestly pretty selfless with money, too. I'm very willing to leave considerable tips, I don't mind buying pricey gifts for people if I think they would really, really like it, stuff like that. Going my whole life being poor, I just understand the situation so well and want to help people where I can. Is there anything you want to last forever? Love. By that I mean I hope even beyond death, the relationships we built in life stretch into what afterlife there may be. List three of your passions: Animals and their conservation, LGBTQ+ rights, and the pro-choice movement. How old do you want to live to? As old as I can before the point of being totally dependent on others to do things like clean me and stuff. I do NOT want to be get to the point of essentially being a rotting corpse. What kind of love do you value the most? Romantic, honestly. There's just something so special about it. If you could control one element, what would it be? Water I suppose, because it would be the most helpful. Do you prefer foxes or wolves? Man, that's hard, but I guess foxes. Could you ever deliver a baby? I don't think I could. I handle stomach pain VERY poorly, and I know I would screech loud enough to crack the damn sky before it would be time to perform the epidural. Do you think suits are sexy? Yeah. Ever been called babe? Yeah. How old is your youngest sibling? She's 23. Who in your phone has a heart after their name? Sara. Favorite boy’s name? Probably Severin. Are your parents together, separated, divorced, never married, what? Divorced. Do you go online every day? Yep. What is the best quality in the last guy you kissed? The last guy I kissed, maybe his loyalty. He has ALWAYS been there for me. He's also funny as hell. What do you usually do during a kiss? Depends on how passionate it is? Do you have an older brother? I do. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do? Sell those bad boys. What’s the genre of the current song you’re listening to? Pop. Can you believe it?? Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? ABSOLUTELY not. I could write an actual essay on why meerkats should NOT be kept as pets. Would you ever sell your soul? Noooo thanks.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''city lights'' by motionless in white

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lizzybeth1986 · 4 years

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Quick Thoughts on The White People Waambulance, Chapters 18 and 19

• Sorry this QT is coming out so late, guys. I regret to say my heart wasn't really in this one...and it hasn't been with regards to my QTs for a while. This one might be my last, unless we count me finishing them off for the (not rewritten) Book 1. It's been two years since I began, and the last two books made the process honestly really exhausting.

• I clubbed the two finale chapters together because I really couldn't be bothered to do separate ones for both.

• In fact...I won't be doing any of what I have been doing for my QTs so far. I'll be honest to you: I usually do multiple replays, the last few in tandem with the other routes on YouTube. I go through the scenes one by one. I keep note of differences and variations and carefully choose screenshots that will reflect the gist of the scenes.

But I couldn't be bothered to do any of that this time. I pressed the "continue" and then the "end book" buttons as soon as I finished my first run of those chapters. I'm drained, guys. And I don't think I'll be coming back to the TRH series at least, not even for Liam or Hana or Kiara. Maybe my mind will change by the time the second book comes out (update from present-day Lizzy: no it didn't) but I'm not counting on it. And you'll probably know why by the time this QT ends.

• TW: Discussions on racism, both fandom racism and from within the narrative. The last section of this QT is going to be...pretty heavy, guys.

There's also going to be a lot of anti-Drake, anti-Olivia, anti-Madeleine and anti-Penelope content here, so if you like any of those characters...well, you've been warned.

The ensuing post is going to be LONG, and I know a lot of you have good reasons not to deal with long posts, so here's a tldr:

1. The TRR writing team stick to their weird obsession for jobless whiny white men.

2. Read this book once and you'll feel like you're drowning in an ocean of white tears.

3. WOC continue to get scraps from the writing team, even as they boast of being diverse and inclusive. In fact, they're regularly treated as mere tokens, exotic eye-candy or non-entities, while their behaviour is measured on standards that are very different from their white counterparts (this happens in other books as well).

...okay I wasn't expecting for the tldr to be long too 😅

• Me @ my QTs then:

Me @ my QTs now:

• I'll probably be finishing off my TRR Book 1 QT series when I'm a little less burnt out, but for now this is where it ends, I guess.

• So...here is to summarize the last two chapters: Accident happens. LIs mad. Paparazzi sad (but largely get away scot-free). MC and baby safe. At the Council meeting Kiara slam dunks the murderer of Liam's mother with the style and elegance this fandom still refuses to acknowledge her for. The MC is nice to her for like half a second. Last Apple Ball. New clothes for everyone as if they had a Diwali bumper sale the week before or something. Godfrey is somehow responsible for the security (who thought this was a good idea) and seeing the Auvernese Royal Guard outside our doors is SO not-creepy.

We get to see if we impressed our Auvernese and Monterriso allies enough. Bradshaw compliments Kiara for like half a second. Olivia sees the dude from the Q&A session (Jin) at the Ball and (if you pay) you get to see her catch, interrogate and lowkey flirt with him.

Leona and Bianca make it to the ball (where is Bartie Sr. Where are Xinghai and Lorelei. Where is Regina) and this time the narrative makes sure to shoehorn a plot element into their presence here: Leona is there so we can do something about the reveal that she constantly ratted us out to the press for money. ("oh look! Walker Ranch was plot related after all! We have a reason (albeit a flimsy, paper-thin one) to set 9 whole chapters in Texas. Even though we had to literally come up with this bit in the last minute, because really - all we wanted to do as a writing team was nut collectively over Drake Walker")

(I also can't believe that between the time I wrote this line and the time this QT finally came out - they literally found a way to re-fucking-write Book 1 so they could nut collectively over Drake Walker earlier)

• Why were we required to dress down in Texas for these assholes when they couldn't even bother to dig up their Sunday best for this ball??? Oh right, they're Walkers. Hypocrisy runs in the family.

• Good thing is you can choose to banish Leona if you want. She's angry about it for a second then accepts it and leaves. But like what is the point of banishing her when she hardly even bothers to come there in the first place? She's not going to be bawling her eyeballs out saying "boohoo, they threw me out of this country that I spent like five minutes in and never even wanted to visit in the first place".

• Bianca is present at the end of Chapter 18 mainly to deliver to us a plot point at the very last minute: a clue about where we could find proof about Queen Eleanor's murder. Bianca mentions conversations Jackson had with her, and a secret room somewhere. Her leaving the palace and abandoning her children is addressed, and the MC gets to berate her. It's...short.

• Why this important piece of information was given to Bianca when idk LEO could have pitched in and spoken about it, no one knows. Oh wait. I keep forgetting. Bianca is Drake's mother. That's why.

• Okay so Amalas valiantly found out about Leona's involvement in this and gave us tangible proof via photographs. But we're kiiiinda forgetting that the scrutiny and privacy invasions were happening even before we hauled ass to Walker Ranch? Who was responsible for those? Who was the "source" that the Chapter 17 paparazzo was referring to, the one that mentioned they would triple the price for more photos of the Queen/Mother of the Heir (Coz like why would she do that. She's already broke)? How did Amalas come by this information so easily and why was she really that invested? Why is no one asking these questions? Why isn't the group asking these questions? Why are they stupid. Jesus, they're all so stupid. HOW ARE YOU SO STUPID, SQUAD.

• Shortly after they get rid of Leona and Bianca, the rest of the group give the happy couple a choice of toys for the nursery - and that's our final nursery purchase. You can either go for the corgi - which is on brand for the series by now I think - or the lion, which is seen as very Cordonian.

• More party shenanigans. We're nice to Kiara for another half-second. Kiara arranges a photoshoot for us. The team can't pretend to give a fuck anymore about its fans so they will ask us to pay for an edit that I've seen millions of edit-creators in the fandom do wayyyy better. Like let's be honest - compare the engagement shoot pics (messy as they were) to the shoots we eventually got this book. You can see the difference. You can tell which one required more work.

• Anyway, if you choose this scene you wind up going back to the ballroom, dance with your spouse, aaaaand it's time for another diamond option. This time your spouse gives you something you've been craving (mousse parfait for the Liam MC, chocolate chip cookies for the Hana MC, handmade chocolates for the Maxwell MC and a choice between bacon and a veg version of it for the Drake MC. Damn, team TRR. Your favouritism is showing). The couple also writes a letter to the baby that the child can read growing up, in a bit of a parallel to Eleanor's letter to Liam that we see at the end of the chapter.

• After this, Liam reveals he has been pondering over what Bianca said, and wants to find out where they could find that secret room. Cue Liam's own flashback scene for free. Godfrey bringing to Queen the same goblet that the RoE MC found in a flea market in Book 2 for Regina (or perhaps just a similarish one). Liam and Eleanor reciting a rhyme that turns out to have clues for the secret room.

• To give the team credit, they seem to have (finally) put some thought into this. Like this actually feels like Liam's scene. Not one that delivers information about his family but is really about another character. They seem to incorporate all the things Eleanor seemed to be known for - things that were hardly addressed in the books when it came to talk of her. She is shown with a love for books given that books and poetry form an important part of the clues she leaves for Liam. One of the books is about foraging, which is unsurprising considering her love for gardens that was established in Book 1 of TRR.

• So...like...nice job but why was practically everything about Eleanor (including the way she'd stand up to Constantine, her displeasure at the sound of Godfrey and Bartie's names, her nature that Liam not only inherited but also learned) left only for your finale? Why no buildup? Why was I seeing you lot constantly pandering to Drake's family the entire time? Why do I know way, way more about Jackson than I do about Eleanor whose story this WAS? Why is she and her son suddenly getting this burst of attention at the tail end??

• They still manage to push young!Drake into a scene focusing on Liam and Eleanor, so we can see how Eleanor's teaching of how to be a responsible royal began to make inroads into Liam's way of thinking. It's the ultimate irony, that Liam took his mother's advice so much to heart that he lets Drake stay in his home, eat his food, and complain about those dastardly nobles to his heart's content for free.

Poor Eleanor in her grave is like

• Very fitting, how Constantine's proposal to Eleanor happens in the hedge maze, very much like Liam's first declaration of love in Book 1.

• If you're married to Liam, you get an extra letter that's addressed to Liam's future wife. She clearly knew her days were to be numbered by the time she gave birth to that second child at least.

• Lmao @ how the team somehow managed to remember that Eleanor would have been Leo's stepmother too. He's mentioned a couple of times. They didn't have enough time to develop a sprite for young!Leo but somehow had all the time and resources to make one for young!Savannah who had literally no purpose in Drake's flashback scene? Hmm. Hmm.

• They somehow manage to find the twin to the RoE MC's gifted goblet that Godfrey gave Eleanor the night she died, and Liam reveals that he's been obsessed with poisons enough to know that it wasn't the drink that was poisoned, it was the cup itself. Everyone is shook.

• Love that extra little detail about Liam's obsession with learning about poisons and how it's a sign of how deeply Eleanor's death affected him. But tell me honestly if you remember this plot point coming up even once before in any significant way. Even during the one time a person is poisoned in the previous book (by the laws of karma, the victim in this instance is Godfrey's only daughter) Liam shows very few signs of this "obsession". At a time when he has also lost a father. Convenient how something that could have added more depth to Liam is kept aside until there's a scene where his knowledge is required. Convenient indeed.

• I kind of understand why Liam acts on impulse, okay. The man just discovered who murdered his mum, at least some amount of irrationality is allowed (esp considering he hardly got to express ANYTHING when his goddamn father died). But you'd think Liam's friends would hold him back and help him think this through? Convince him that there are more effective ways to confront and get a confession out of Godfrey who after is in charge of security at the moment? You seriously think charging into the ballroom and suddenly stripping this man of his titles is going to actually work??? You couldn't figure out how to make him vulnerable instead so that he wouldn't be able to escape???

• I mean like, sure, one could always rationalize it all as "well see Lizzy, they needed a dramatic end to this story and they needed to wrap this mystery up quick". But there were other ways they could have spread it out than make it all sound so...so random. And you bet we all know why the narrative had to scramble around last minute to solve this. It's because we spend half the damn book in a dilapidated ranch with a shit family!

• Anyway, Godfrey escapes...and the MC tells her spouse that she's going into labour after...two contractions? Um. Okay.

• So. That ends Book 1 of this new series. And with it my QTs, for this series at least. My QTs for Book 1 (the OG, not the rewrite) might continue, but I'd need to repeat my failplay again because I lost most of those screenshots 😭

General Thoughts on the Book:

• So far, this is what I can see as happening in the next book:

- The birth, obviously

- Any extra perks from our purchases (ie. the nursery and the garden)

- Subplots involving the LIs' conflicts regarding parenthood and their own childhoods

- The mystery behind Eleanor's death isn't quite over yet, nor is the truth behind the constant paparazzi presence in TRH. Leona was the scapegoat this time around, but how did Amalas get all this information so quickly?

- Where is Eleanor's other child? Olivia's investigations may or may not lead to that answer. I'm pretty sure Jin might be involved as well.

- Another possibility is that Madeleine may give us important information since she was potentially aware that Eleanor was pregnant at the time.

- The mystery behind Jackson's death and what he knew regarding Eleanor's condition.

- What part did Bartie Sr have to play in all this? How involved was Constantine in the murder (if in fact he was)? What more dark secrets will we learn about Constantine, Godfrey and Bartie Sr during this time? What ultimately caused the breakdown in Constantine and Jackson's relationship, since Drake mentions Jackson being around when Regina was Queen as well?

- Speaking of Regina, how involved was she in any of this? We know she was Godfrey's cousin-in-law and Bartie Sr made a comment on her during the announcement about the heir, and that she married Constantine a couple years after Eleanor's death, but was she aware of any of this or was she largely out of the major plot and brought in later to cement Godfrey's position and power?

- I'd mention the possibility that Lorelai could know something, but they didn't really give anyone connected to Hana any time at all, so I have my doubts.

- Operation Swan, and possibly a visit to Monterisso. Liam's younger sibling must be in one of these places but my guess is on Monterisso.

- I'm guessing the team will write a nice wedding for Penelope and Ezekiel next book, while Kiara continues to get scraps from the same team.

- Drake and Olivia will continue to eat into the plot. Madeleine will join this unholy trinity as well because they've set the stage for her to have plenty of angst.

With that over, these were my thoughts once this book was finished:

WHERE ARE THE DUCHESSES?

Remember how, back in Book 3, we all marvelled at the number of women in this country who were in positions of power? Adeleide and Emmeline were powerful duchesses while their husbands were secondary figures, and Joelle though married into a noble family is an influential artist and - according to Liam - the embodiment of King Fabian's values. It seemed like, despite the underlying sexism and racism in the story, women were at least at the forefront of Cordonian politics.

This is virtually gone in TRH1. Godfrey (who wasn't even interested in Krona in the first place, much less Cordonia) and Landon (whose only concern seemed to be Penelope, leaving Emmeline to manage the duchy) have a seat in the Council. In fact we never even see either of these woman in the book. I can maybe understand the logic behind not appointing Adeleide, but the fact that Emmeline is passed over for her far-less -qualified husband is a mystery to me!

Also, has anyone noticed how white-male-centered the whole Eleanor story is? Notice how we never see Eleanor's friends, besides Jackson? We never see any of the courtly ladies of that era? She's the Queen. She'd have her own court. I find it impossible that Eleanor would have no interactions of importance among her own goddamned court, that Joelle, Emmeline or Adeleide wouldn't even be mentioned in her story thus far. It's fascinating that forget being part of her story - these women are largely forgotten in the book itself.

(Note: It's also important to add that none of Kiara's family - besides Zeke - makes an appearance this book. At all. One member of Penelope's family and one member of Madeleine's family is in the council, but we never really see or hear anything from Kiara's, even though Hakim was Constantine's old friend and Joelle could have easily been connected to Eleanor, given that Eleanor was exactly the kind of ruler Joelle would have loved and respected.

While we're on that subject, Lorelai could have been connected to Eleanor as well - considering that we know next to nothing about her years in Shanghai. There were ways Hana's story could have been tied into the overall plot as well that were largely ignored. The fact that both the main and secondary WOCs presented opportunities for better plot and story, and despite that they were largely ignored in the books...I think that says a lot. But I will get into more of that in detail in a different section).

LI SPACE AND STORY

• Now...as we all know, The TRR/TRH series is primarily a romance-focused book first, with an underlying plot about royalty and politics. So it makes sense to evaluate the book based on what it gives its love interests. That includes the number of scenes they get, and the kind of focus their story is given. So...here's the rundown of how that goes in TRH Book 1:

Liam: Overall, not too bad. He gets one individual scene, a free and paywalled childhood scene (though the free one is essential for the group's realization of who killed Eleanor). The letter his mother writes to Liam includes an extra section towards the end, meant for the MC who marries him. However, we must note that a lot of this "attention" was thrust into the very final chapter of this book, and 99% of the same book didn't exactly make an attempt to explore his inner thoughts on anything - his mother's death, the dealings with the foreign countries, his political activities. Eleanor being pregnant came from a scene that made Olivia the center of attention, the MC had the opportunity to ask him how he was feeling only once or twice, and most of the time the narrative relegated it all to "the matter is still being investigated". It's a slight improvement from the absolute lack of concern the MC and the narrative showed about Liam's emotional state post his father's death in Book 3, but not much.

Variations wise, the team did step up on the basic ones for most of the LIs, so clearly we've moved past the days of seeing cut-paste scenes and the likes of Liam and Hana saying "I'm so dumb in love with you". However, in playthroughs where the MC is Liam's wife and Queen of Cordonia, her lack of genuine concern for her country and lack of curiosity about the place she's ruling, sticks out like a sore thumb. The fandom loves to highlight how the plot is "written for Liam" or is "easier in Liam's playthrough", but besides his own child being the heir, nothing else from Book 3 onwards seems like it was particularly written with him in mind.

Drake: Hoo boy. So 2019 was clearly the year that many people didn't believe me about Drake eating up space, and the year they had to eat their words because in TRH it was too obvious to be ignored. On an overall scale you cannot avoid the extra perks even his LI scenes got - his Valtoria scene in Chapter 4 was longer, set in a different place and he was allowed to expand on his decision to say yes to Liam's request in a way Hana and Maxwell never were. We learned way more about his familial relationships and dynamics than all the LIs combined. His childhood scene was the first to be given variants depending on whether the MC was his wife or not. His sister's wedding takes up almost half the book, leaving little to no space for either the intrigue, or even the pregnancy that was supposed to be THE most important part of the book.

An insane amount of retconning was done to emphasize strongly on the "marshmallow" part of his personality, having him state time and again that for the MC he can even "sport a tutu if you said you had a thing for the Sugar Fairy". Part of these changes could be attributed to the backlash the team got for having him call a pink cake "girly".

There is a strong possibility that Jackson might be explored further in the second book, and it's no surprise considering that he's the one parent that is most talked about in the series. The book looks like it was truly written with Drake in mind, with a heavy dose of Olivia, and everyone else was added as a bit of an afterthought.

Maxwell: Pretty awful treatment for a character that the head writer of the team claims to like. He has no individual character scenes, and one childhood scene where his older brother Bertrand is given more focus. Ironically, Maxwell was more wary of Bartie Sr in TRR Book 2 than Bertrand was, but somehow they changed this little detail so that Maxwell could be written out of his own story.

His LI scenes were also not given much effort - some were badly written, and some scenes (like the free ones) showed little to no variations between the friendly and romantic playthroughs. One that comes to mind is the baby announcement photoshoot, which was so poorly done it added nothing of value to the character or the relationship.

Like the last book, Maxwell isn't allowed much development in TRH1, and he's still forced into a largely "court jester" role in the story. This reflects very poorly on him in certain situations, such as the chapter where we finally get glimpses of his book. The aim was to be humourous and light about the events of the series, but he comes out of it sounding thoroughly insensitive towards his friends, none of whose consent he took to write this self-centered pile of garbage.

However, there is hope that they might do things a bit better for him next book, if the rewrite of him in TRR 2.0 was anything to go by. However, it would be awful if they tried to do a better job of him and then left out Hana. Speaking of which...

Hana: I'm going to begin this section with a comparison to another character, someone who should have been treated as a secondary character - Olivia.

Olivia in this book has 2 character scenes (they're very plot driven, but they also explore her outside of her friendship with the MC and dynamic with the group). The spy scene with Auvernese royalty, and the scene with Jin, the Auvernese spy. An entire chapter is spent in her duchy (by now we've seen Lythikos four times and I'm now sick of the place), and she winds up taking over Maxwell's Q&A scene as well.

So that's technically 2.5 scenes AND a childhood scene that revolves around her even though it's about Liam's mother. In addition to this, Olivia also gets her own mini-book, The Royal Holiday, that revolves (again) around her duchy and has the group clamouring to give her attention when no one else wants to.

Here are the stats for Hana, who by virtue of being an LI, is also a potential co-protagonist in the series:

Nothing.

Zilch. Zip. Zero. Nada. Nothing.

She has one childhood scene that is part of the group's scenes - a beautiful, heartbreaking one that serves as a slap in the face to anyone who'd dared to be dismissive of what she went through earlier - but none after that, and no individual scenes either. The team - in one of their most offensive choices this book - force a storyline where she has fertility issues just so the MC can be the one carrying the child, and the same MC can opt(!!) to ask about her well-being after two days. The same MC has the chance to whine about not getting pregnant soon enough in front of Hana.

There have been a few efforts made to make the MC appear more caring towards Hana: she can angrily defend Hana against Isabella's jibes, and she can make Hana relax for once during the baby shower (unlike the wedding reception where the same MC treated her like a bridesmaid). The MC even gets to tell her wife that she should never consider herself secondary or unimportant.

All of these are nice, but at the end of the day they're all scraps. I'd equate it to how we're allowed to give Kiara compliments on the final two chapters, but the white women around her still get a far bigger chunk of space, story and attention dedicated to them. The team have a pattern of adding these tiny tidbits that will temporarily satisfy stans while still maintaining the status quo, and that's precisely what's happening here. Its important for us to understand this. Underneath all this surface concern and all these scraps, Hana is still getting dust in place of actual story and characterization. And given that they made ZERO major changes to Hana's scenes in TRR 2.0, I'm not expecting that to change.

As for the book in general...I don't have to go into why this book is a mess, do I? We all know. We've all witnessed how disproportionate the writing has been and while I'm glad more and more people recognize what I've been seeing since Book 3, it's sad that it took 9 whole chapters in Walker Ranch for so many to understand exactly how much space Drake has been eating up for no good reason.

BLACK HOLES AND WHITE TEARS

I'll begin this section by talking about Drake Walker. He's the most prominent sign of the larger problem.

Drake Walker is what I call a Black Hole LI. And yes I mean black hole as in the one that exists in space (Beckett from TE also fits into this category). He is the kind of LI that sucks up everything. Love. Light. Joy. Common sense. Other characters' spaces.

He is the kind of love interest that will have Liam's traumatic experience centered around him. The kind of love interest for whose problems - largely created by his mammoth ego - we have to resolve in Shanghai, the home of the lone female LI. While that same female LI gets nothing, and then disappears in a subsequent chapter. The kind of love interest whose love confession can take precedence even over the MC's own issues (remember the Beaumont House chapter in Book 1? The one that took place the day after Tariq nonconsensually kissed the MC? 98% of the dialogue revolved around Drake's feelings. Not about the faulty lock, not the possibility that the MC's security had been tampered with - Drake's feelings). The kind of love interest that was given an entire extra wedding and artwork for his mother in Book 3 itself - none of which were given to any other LI.

A Black Hole LI is totally the kind of LI that would get 9 whole chapters in their home while we have never even visited the homes of the others since the early books of the previous series.

This wasn't something that began just this book. It's been a constant since Book 2, and you can even see signs of his story gaining way more importance in Book 1. It's also not something we can - in all honesty - blame simply on finances and fan popularity: the writers confirmed Drake to be one of their favourites, and attempts to give his scenes additional perks (eg plot elements pushed into both the Whiskey scene and the Beaumont Office scene) happened long before they could make any conclusions about his popularity. I bought the Beaumont Office scene to find out more about that family. I bought the Marshmallow scene so I could find out more about Liam and Hana's conversation post Coronation (remember - Hana was never even allowed to speak about her return to Cordonia because that scene was given to Drake). I bought the Italian Restaurant scene to learn more about Liam's assassination. The funny thing about all these three is that these were their stories to tell, yet Drake is the focus. Quite a few of Drake's initial scenes sold because the team consistently made the effort, consistently ensured that the information from his scenes would benefit us in the long run. The narrative allowed for Drake to have his own story, and additionally let aspects of his story overshadow that of the other LIs' (see the examples I've given above). Even though he has very little of value to contribute to the larger story (no job, his friendships are shallower than a wash-basin, and no genuine communication with any commoner in the story - only endless whining).

The treatment Drake gets that no other LI does, is a problem in itself, but it also is a small part of an even bigger issue. He isn't the only white character who gets this sort of attention and detail to his story.

Take Olivia, for example. Started out as a rival to the MC, before her sad sad childhood and her genuine love for Liam was revealed in the Book 1 finale. Over the course of the story, her role changed from petty rival to Warrior Duchess to reluctant bff. Over the course of the original series, Olivia became one of the most prominent characters in the story, on par with the male LIs. I'm not sure how many people realize that Lythikos is the ONLY duchy in the kingdom we've seen thrice (four times if you count Holiday). To give you an idea of how big a deal that is, here's how many times we've visited other duchies besides the capital and Applewood:

Fydelia - 2

Portavira - 1

Castelserraillian - 1

Ramsford (the home of our sponsors!) - 1

Hana's mother's home - Never.

Lythikos has a detailed familial and cultural history, and I wouldn't be lying if I said we know more about this one region than we know about the entire country of Cordonia. And honestly for me, the obsession with this one duchy has reached saturation point. Lythikos is not Cordonia. Lythikos is not all there is to Cordonia or even the only place that should matter. Yet it seems the team is more than eager to flog that horse until there's nothing of interest left.

Olivia is the only character who gets an entire mini book that revolves around comforting her and making her feel better about her background and origins. I don't think we've ever given Hana this much attention when she left her home for us. Or when she was being bullied by Madeleine. Or when she was the other bride in that grand wedding. Or when we received the news that carrying a child to term would be dangerous for her body. Or --

We were given an entire mini-book to comfort Olivia - the woman who continued to call Hana "damaged goods" and " a failure" for not marrying a man, while Hana's friend/wife stood by and watched. The woman who didn't have to think twice before making snide remarks about an equally skilled courtier who never did her any harm, only because she could get away with it. Istg when I heard that most of the court snubbed her during that first event in Holiday, this was my reaction:

Like girl I feel bad for you but at least now you know how it feels to be held responsible for shit beyond your control!

Hana, in the meantime, is forced time and again into situations that would break most people - but with very little payoff. Her arc with her parents was given a resolution that confirmed that Hana could only be considered worthy if she was useful. She was made to interact time and again with the woman who harmed her with such glee in Book 2. The MC - as a friend or as a wife - is at best neglectful of her issues and at worst someone who uses and discards Hana as she sees fit. And now...in her romantic playthrough she's given a storyline that doesn't allow her to bear children easily, and the MC spends less than two minutes to actually check on her. Hana is one of the co-protagonists, yet a side character given the treatment she should be getting. One could technically blame finances for the way she's being treated too, but keep in mind that the bad treatment goes as far back as the Applewood chapters in Book 1. Technically a time when she was bringing in money.

I get it. Olivia is a fan favourite. Many in the fandom wanted her to be an LI, the writers didn't, so they carved out this middle path where she'd have a major portion of the story anyway. But keep in mind that a lot of this attention came - and is still coming - at the cost of Hana. The team pretty much gave Olivia what they'd been refusing to give Hana all along.

On a smaller scale, you see similar patterns with the secondary characters - especially the women of the court. Madeleine and Penelope had elaborate backstories designed to make people forgive and sympathize with them, and Kiara - even though her backstory in Book 1 was inherently tragic and deserved to be handled sensitively - was given validation with great reluctance from the team, and with no consequences if we treated her cruelly. Even now, the team has only tossed Kiara a couple of scraps in the final chapter, while already setting the stage for Madeleine to get her own tragic "patriotism" arc for TRH Book 2, and a possible wedding for Penelope in the near future.

The difference here doesn't just lie in who gets attention and who doesn't. It lies in how the MC is supposed to view these women as well. A lot more sympathy and understanding is automatically extended to the white women, and the MC faces consequences if she fails to acknowledge their pain. Far less sympathy is offered by default to the black and the Asian woman - the MC may be friends with Hana but a huge chunk of their relationship is mostly about the MC benefiting from Hana's skills without giving much in return.

Even though their misdeeds are acknowledged and spoken about, both Madeleine and Penelope are written in such a way that the problems they're currently facing matter more than anything they've ever done in the past. Hana is made to sweet-talk Madeleine despite being bullied by her in a previous book. The MC herself never gets ANY opportunity to directly address what Penelope put her through in Portavira, because what the MC went through matters less than Penelope's condition.

Compare this to the relatively small scale of Kiara's "misdeed" (being honest about not continuing with an alliance - I'm surprised people think this is an actual thing to be offended about!), and the way the MC is allowed to mistreat her sans consequences afterwards. We're even allowed to call Kiara a snob in the books - which isn't at all true if you look at any of her scenes in canon - and constantly make fun of her desire to learn (in fact, if anyone in the series could be called a snob, it would be Olivia). If I were to sum up how a woman of colour is spoken about in the books, vs a white woman - this screenshot would do the trick:

(Notice how none of the options to speak about Penelope allow us to speak rudely of her, yet in Kiara's case we're allowed to make judgements on her as a person. In Hana's case, while we don't exactly drag her the way we can drag Kiara - we get precious few opportunities to actually defend or support her when others talk rubbish about her).

When you explore the series overall, it's impossible to ignore the casual racism that makes disrespecting people of a certain race/colour easier than on another. It's impossible not to see where the narrative chooses to give consequences to an MC who treats a white woman badly, and where it allows the very same MC to suspect, and then (optionally) gaslight, a woman of colour a couple chapters later. It's impossible not to see which people are meant to be respected despite their bad behaviour, and which people can still be treated badly despite their better behaviour. It's impossible not to see a pattern emerging.

This is not even a problem that plagues only the TRR series. From TCaTF to ACOR to Platinum to even MoTY, there is an ongoing pattern of discrepancies between the way white people and people of colour - particularly women - are treated. Many POC characters are placed in situations where it's easier for them to suffer/die/be shown disrespect, than it is to show them kindness or mercy. MOC are regularly either exoticized (Prince Hamid is the most glaring example of this) or placed in very traumatic situations for which the payoff isn't always going to be that great (I know this happens to Dallas, but I don't know about the payoff for Syphax).

WOC particularly suffer quite a bit in a lot of PB novels, in comparison to their white counterparts. Rowan Thorne of TCaTF, as a character, didn't deserve for her death to be made easier than her survival (in contrast to Diavolos, who was given far more opportunities AND will live simply by virtue of allying with Kenna), any more than Kiara deserved to be interrogated by the people who should have been concerned for her safety or Xanthe deserved to be shipped to slavery. All this, while a Vanessa (who is in a position of power and who plays an active role in rendering the MOTY MC financially helpless) gets a diamond scene where she "explains" her situation and a Madeleine doesn't even have to hear about her bullying from her victims.

The fandom, too, has contributed to this on a number of occasions. Speaking specifically of TRR, how many times have we seen Hana being dragged on Olivia posts? (also, if we were really measuring Olivia by the impossible standards that we held for Hana's characterization, Olivia would appear pretty damn one-note too: after all, 80% of her characterization consists of knife jokes). How many times was Hana being looked at with disdain for either her niceness or the poor writing for her, while the same fandom would regularly coo over a nice-presenting Penelope (whose characterization is one of the most inconsistent in the series)? How many times have we seen Kiara being called a creep/obsessed for merely looking at a man, while almost no one judges Olivia for kissing a man without his consent? How many times have people forgiven a traitorous Penelope and hated on a far more innocent Kiara in the same breath? How often did the fandom hate on Liam for accepting the MC's advances after she rejected him, yet not say a word when Drake did the same thing? How many times has Maxwell been loved for his humour and childlike nature while people of colour with a similar personality (Lily from Bloodbound, for example) were hated on instantly? Clearly, there have been more instances of people in the fandom sympathizing automatically with the white character, than with characters of colour. Time and again, brown and black characters - particularly women - have been required to match up to impossible standards (if they're nice they're boring. If they don't like the MC they're <insert every gendered sexist insult you can think of here>). The standards are far more relaxed for white characters, and they're often given more breathing room and to most of what they want without the constant judgement that black and brown women get. The standards set up for both are grossly different.

Racism is a beast that assumes many forms - and not all forms of racism will appear obvious to some, especially when such stereotypes are so normalized in media and popular fiction that we almost accept it at first. Almost. To get to the root of why there's such an imbalance in this series - among others - we need to first acknowledge the sexism and racism that are such a vital part of its narrative, and that its fandom regularly buys into and (sometimes unwittingly) promotes.

At this point, it's important to understand that having queer characters or characters of colour simply exist in the books isn't enough. Token rep can be found in PB's books by the dozens, but at the end of the day it means nothing if there is a constant reluctance, over and over and over, to treat those characters with the same care and sensitivity that they treat their white ones (or their "exoticized brown" ones).

• Like I mentioned earlier, I won't be playing TRH from this point forward, but I do hope to finish my TRR QTs soon. I have a LOT of thoughts! If you'd like to be tagged on those, do tell me!

#long post #tw: racism from pb #tw: fandom racism #trh quick thoughts #trh qts #king liam #hana lee #maxwell beaumont #anti drake walker #anti olivia nevrakis #anti trr madeleine #anti trr penelope #trr kiara

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stonerbughead · 4 years

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maria watches friday night lights (#4)

season 2, pt 2!! (2x08-2x15)

ugh Matt is really having his Being A Stupid Teenage Boy season huh?

-lol love a good naked dude being chased scene — in this case, Smash on his recruiting trip being chased around by a potential future teammate. Classic.

(it’s kinda cute that Matt came to pick him up tho)

- the latest in season 2 being off the fucking rails: really? Riggins’ new digs include a meth lab on wheels??

-Landry confessing to murdering someone and then having his sheriff dad drag him out of the station to go home is the whitest shit EVER. Like, Landry is literally *trying* to be punished and they just won’t punish his white, cop-kid ass. ‘Murica. (I mean don’t get me wrong: it WAS self defense against someone literally stalking and trying to rape Tyra, but the point still stands that if Landry was a black kid he’d have been tried as an adult and convicted no doubt)

-YESSSSS a MySpace shoutout! we love to see it

“I hate you” - Santiago (and also me) @ Buddy Garrity

-omg Coach Taylor noticing that things aren’t good at home for Riggins and taking him in, my heart!

-Wow in just one scene Riggins charmed baby Grace, warned Tami’s sister not to shame women for eating a lot (“it can lead to anorexia, especially in girls”) and then offered to go out to the store to get baby formula in the pouring rain. What a man.

-and yes, Shelly, you fully grown woman, it IS a bad idea to lust after a TEENAGE BOY

-wow Riggins protecting Julie from the SUPER DRAMATIC TORNADO that made me laugh. Do we get to have a Riggins-Julie friendship??? bc I’d be down. We need more friendships.

-Thank you, Tami, saying “EW” to her sister watching Riggins work out! Someone has sense to know a fully grown woman shouldn’t be lusting after a teenager! Julie can lust if she wants tho, that’s age appropriate.

-DYING at Landry being aghast that Tyra’s never heard of West Side Story.

-oh god, Lyla — it is totally fair to assume your mom would tell your dad she’s getting remarried, especially if she knew you’d be seeing him — so I’m sorry you’re the one who accidentally set off whatever nonsense Buddy is gonna pull now that he knows his ex wife is “marrying that treehugger.”

“Who’s that?” “Some douchebag named Chip. who names their kid Chip anyway?” Same, Tyra, same.

-Landry, one of my biggest pet peeves is asking someone out while they’re on the clock. Like, come on! let Tyra work, boy.

-Jesus Christ it’s like everywhere Julie looks, she has to see Matt making out with someone. That’s rough.

-and oop Matt you busted bc Julie actually knows who Carlotta is!

-once a cheater, always a cheater, Buddy. And yes to Pam for being like “nah bye I’m happy now, it is over.” You treated her like garbage so here we are, sir!

-hilarious that Landry is the one who ends up throwing the first punch that gets the post-tornado, school-crossover tensions to finally boil over

-I like that they show both the fall formal and the party where everyone who didn’t go to the formal is. Nice.

-Aw poor Julie got drunk af to deal with all her feelings. This really is the season where they have Julie and Matt being sixteen year olds in the most painful ways. So maybe it’s good they’re not together during this tho I’m still looking forward to when the tide turns their way again.

-anyway, Tim is a good friend for getting the creep who thought he was “one beer away from getting laid” off of Julie.

-And....in true Texas dad fashion, Eric Taylor misinterprets everything! Noooo. We can’t have nice things.

-This Noelle-Smash partnership is definitely an interesting pairing. Two very ambitious football people courting all these recruiters while Smash’s mom side eyes them in the corner? Hilarious.

-omg not this Oklahoma tech recruiter harassing smash’s mom in the grocery store! GTFO here! Give her some fucking personal space. They really do such a good job of showing as much of the toxic shit about football culture as the inspiring, big moments.

-Aw and I love that Tami tried to help Mama Smash get the guy to go away. It’s such a familiar scene, women helping each other get a dude harassing them away. And then they have a heart to heart in the parking lot? Love that.

-omg what a throwback that Shelly TAPED OVER Eric’s football game to tape a NEW EPISODE of The Office! Love it. “Y’all should get a TiVo.”

-omg watching Tami and Eric work out arguments is so beautiful, they communicate very well! We stan a good marriage.

-wow seeing the other coach from tornado school lose his shit publicly after he knocked down Riggins was uh....wild???? This is the second time he put his hands on Riggins!

-awww Eric actually coming to apologize to riggins for overreacting about Julie when he hears the real story??? Love it.

-Weevil from Veronica Mars shows up as a friend of Santiago’s? Of course.

-WOW and Logan from Gilmore girls as a Christian radio host...tracks.

“Is that your way of telling her you like her?” Jason making a surprisingly astute observation about Tim. (And Lyla.)

-yo why would you invite your daughter’s boyfriend’s family over for dinner just to say they shouldn’t date? (And bc it’s an interracial relationship.) Southern culture is wild to me lol

-wow the racist coach from last season is now off spouting his mouth about how “no wife of mine would be working with a kid at home.” I love that Eric calls him out as sounding stupid and ignorant — you better!

-hearing that Lyla burned her cheerleading uniform is one of the most badass things she’s done so far tbh along with that dealership destruction

-off the rails update: 2x12 was toooo much!! Like, Jesus between Smash’s sister getting harassed at the movie theater by the racists who hate on smash and Noelle...and this plotline with Santiago and his old friends trashing Buddy’s place...it’s like, can we breathe.

-I could not be more excited for Carlotta to leave and another teenage boy with adult woman relationship to end.

-wow can’t believe the plotline where Riggins stole $3000 from a drug dealer isn’t ending well for him. And now Smash is getting arrested bc of those racist guys from the movie theater episode? One recap I read said that too many of this season’s plots feel contrived and I think that sums it up.

-is there any character who HASN’T worked at Buddy Garrity’s dealership at this point?!

-and yikes at all the other salespeople being mad that a salesperson in a wheelchair was hired...y’all mad ugly and ableist for that

-Tyra and Landry are....confusing

-Wait Logan from GG is an actual preacher and not just a Christian radio host? CREEPY. And he kissed Lyla? A lot to unpack there.

-lol Tim trying to woo Lyla is kinda funny to watch simply bc Tim is clearly so confounded by rejection

-I love how much space they give for Smash’s sister’s pain in the Noelle-Smash theater incident. A lesser show wouldn’t have centered her as much.

-is it mean of me to say Jason is boring AF most of the time

-yeah this dreads girl is seemingly way more compatible with Landry than Tyra yikes! Like she made him a power metal mix cd???

-wow this Smash storyline where mouthing off to the press is what gets him suspended....really checks out bc teenage boys are dumb

-I love Tami as a volleyball coach and getting to see another sport! Also as someone who’s been on a losing team I know that feeling of finally winning a game!!! Go Dillon volleyball!!! (Am I maybe currently writing a Bughead fic based on my underdog field hockey experiences? ;) yes yes I am)

-Oh shit now Saracen’s at the nihilistic Nothing Matters phase of teenage angst. Right on schedule!

-lol these two short haired blondes (white dreads Jean and Tyra) being in a love triangle with Landry is wild

-Omg jean just said, “are you a friend or are you competition?” She is not playing!

-I love Riggins dragging Saracen to practice

“I don’t want you to become at an at-risk youth” -Landry teasing Saracen while also sincerely caring about him is some of the best friendship banter on this show. The accuracy 😂

-It seems like Julie gets a lot of hate? But I think I have such a soft spot for Julie bc I was a bitchy teenager with undiagnosed mental health disorders and I just wish so much #growth for her! Also I really do miss her and Saracen’s relationship, I’m so excited I’m almost at S3 where it seems like it’s happening again?

-LOL this guy at the dmv is the first person in Dillon to be like, “no I hate football.” That tracks.

-wow Saracen is getting driven to the hospital to make sure his grandma is okay by the sex worker who was just giving him a lap dance. Amazing.

-also I hope grandma is okay!

-okay Tyra throwing her hat in the ring for Landry at the last minute? Idk I think Jean deserves the win but there’s no way it’ll happen bc she’s a guest actor?!

-awww Saracen’s abandonment issues coming out whiles he in the tub after being sobered up by Eric Taylor. “There’s nothing wrong with you.” 😭 and “your daughter left me for a better guy” - will take that crumb — first mention of Julie out of Saracen’s mouth in a minute

-hey, Landry, my friend: flirting with a girl (Jean) to get her outside then dumping her immediately is kind of a wild bait and switch. But I get it, he’s been in love with Tyra for a long time and Tyra IS right — they had a very fucked up start to their relationship so it makes sense she needed a minute to process her ~feelings~. however I definitely identified closer to a jean in my high school experience L O L (minus the unacceptable white dreads)

-these Julie and Tami driving scenes are painfully accurate, btw. Love them.

-wow the scene of Smash hyping everyone up, the adrenaline/energy of the team cheering with helmets and a classic “clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose” - then the whole team running out onto the field and leaving an empty locker room with just Smash breaking down into tears....#art

-alright y’all I’m gearing up for the last episode of S2! Thanks to @lockitin for reminding me this is the writers’ strike season — I was in eighth grade then and remember being pissedddd about the shortened fourth season of “the office” — so I’m fully prepared for the abruptness to come.

-I love when they parallel showing the white church and the black church

-and Tim going to church just to see Lyla makes me laugh

-ooooof Jason you cannot put on this waitress you had a one night stand with the fact that this could be your only chance to have a baby!!! Omg this poor woman who just pointed out she, too, is NINETEEN.

-wait so is Riggins doing a sports show on a Christian radio station? What?

“I think you’re really hot. Your long hair reminds me of Jesus” -Christian girls being horny for Riggins LOL

-awww Saracen being like “okay Landry you’re gonna impress Tyra right now” before that football play was a cute friendship moment for those two

-aww I love how this Smash storyline is turning out with Coach Deeks whose had his eye on him for six years my heart 😭

-also unclear to me whether Logan Huntzberger the Preacher is a fully grown adult dating a high school senior?? Biggest teen drama pet peeve once again! Stop this!

-Tami is my heroine for just leaving Eric at the restaurant fighting with her ex. “see you at home, honey!”

-I’m sorry, is Jason gonna like actually convince this girl to have a baby with her one night stand at 19??? Oh lol wait THAT ended up being the cliffhanger of the whole season? Fucking hilarious.

well I made it through season 2!!! Super psyched for Season 3, Jay has been hyping me up for it. See y’all next time! (I’ll try to post more for season 3 bc this accidentally got long af.)

#maria watches friday night lights #mine #friday night lights #friday night lights 2x08 #friday night lights 2x09 #friday night lights 2x10 #friday night lights 2x11 #friday night lights 2x12 #friday night lights 2x13 #friday night lights 2x14 #friday night lights 2x15

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ssttitdramon · 5 years

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Ready To Hear It?

Ramón Morales x Stella Nicholls

Request: Ramón x Stella thing where Ramón comes back from the war and Stella confesses her feelings to him and idk what else to put

Word Count: 2,769

Note: Sorry that I posted this later than promised. You might’ve just wanted a Ramón x Stella moment, but the thought of the three in college, letters from Ramón in Vietnam, and Ramón’s family was something stuck in my head so I included all of that too. If you’d like to send in a request, take a look at the rules.

Also: The random u.s. state generator gave me Texas so that’s where he’s from in this fic (M.G. is actually from there btw!) and I made up family members because the ssttitd writers really didn’t give us much on Ramón’s backstory.

Warning: Brief mentions of the Vietnam war, including an injury/surgery (left hand + broken ribs)

Stella riffled through her backpack once again, checking that she had everything she needed before leaving to Texas. Two years after Ramón left for Vietnam, he came back on a stretcher with three broken ribs and on the verge of losing his left hand.

According to his sister, Elizabeth, he was finally home from the hospital a week and a half later, recovering from a broken hand and lower rib removal surgery.

When Stella received the first phone call from Elizabeth, she and Auggie were in the middle of flipping through flashcards for an upcoming major government test. The knocking on her door woke up Chuck, who was passed out on the floor and tried to reach for it.

Stella beat him to it first, opening the dorm door to the bossy redheaded RA, “Yeah?"

"There’s an Elizabeth on the phone for you down there.” she scrunched her face at the sight of Auggie and Chuck in the room.

Stella turned to look at them, both shrugging. The boys still followed Stella downstairs and stood close by, trying to figure out who the mysterious Elizabeth was.

“Hello?”

“Ah hi, Stella Nicholls?” answered the quiet voice from the other end.

“Yes, this is she. May I ask, who are you?” Stella asked, looking over to the two boys in confusion.

“Oh, I’m Ramón’s sister. He gave me your number some months ago, but I wanted to let you and your friends know that Ramón is back home now and-” her voice cracks and she sniffs, “I’m sorry. He’s injured, but he’s okay.” she manages.

Stella was stunned, “Ramón is back…” she said softly, trying out the words in her own mouth. Stella was afraid saying it any louder would somehow make it false.

“What?” Auggie and Chuck snap in unison, getting closer to the girl.

“Ramón is back.” Stella declared, bringing her hand up to her mouth. “Wait, so he’s injured? Have you seen him?"

"No, he came in four days ago and is held up at the hospital. They won’t tell us more, but we’ll get to see him tonight.” Elizabeth answered her, voice shaking and on the verge of tears. She couldn’t help but to think about her older brother, she lost him and can hardly handle the thought of losing another brother too.

Stella quickly thanked her for thinking of them and asked to be called for any more news on his recovery. When she hung up, the three were all silently staring at the phone, no one knew how to react.

“So Ramón’s back? How is he?” Auggie broke the silence, eyeing his friend carefully.

As Stella started to explain the call, she didn’t realize she was tearing up until Chuck wiped her cheek with his sleeve. She pulled the boys in for a hug, the three letting themselves wallow in a pit of emotions.

Now, while she was packing up to visit him, she couldn’t stop the onslaught of questions she’s already mulled over since the first call.

How much has the war changed him? How is his family dealing with his return? How different could he be now since he last wrote? Is he in a lot of pain? What if he doesn’t want to see us?

She frowned at the last one, she couldn’t think like that now. Not when the three were practically invited by his family with his consent. Plus, Chuck finally convinced his roommate to let the trio borrow his car and make the 20+ hour drive to Houston, Texas.

As Stella walked over to her shelf to grab her journal, the metal tin box containing all of Ramón’s letters caught her eye. Her heart jolted, she opened it up and peered inside, feeling warmth at the sight of the boy’s slanted, tall handwriting. On the nights when Stella had panic attacks, she would open the box and read over bits and pieces of Ramón’s day, finding comfort in his letters.

Stella flipped through some of the trifolded letters, catching random sentences from the top of the papers,

“My mom finally wrote back and she’s not mad at all, I forgot how much I missed her worrying over me…”

“You’re not much of a flower girl, are you? Here’s this neat flower I pressed, the villagers around here call it Hoa Dao-“

“Sorry it’s been so long, the sky’s been pouring buckets on us in the past month and we’ve only…"

"Tell Chuck I won’t be able to write him back until next week, but tell him I said congratulations for winning…”

“but I might go to Japan for R&R in a few months,”

“My dad’s still learning English and he’s practicing some on his letters. It’s the best thing seeing chiquillo next to ‘today I took your sister to the tienda y ya ni la hacen aquí, mijo-’”

“I’m telling you, you’ll be a famous writer. You’ll be selling out all over the world, just wait.”

“oh and there’s this guy here who laughs just like Auggie.”

“This one will be short, the Sgt just got back and already complaining about one grain of sand too many inches to the right- the boys here call him Ol’ Knuckles,”

“Also, remind Chuck to add 5th platoon to my address,”

“but the package that my sister sent me lasted a good two days because-”

“and he had to tackle this stupid scrawny kid to the ground as soon as the dirt started kicking up,”

“the team did lose two men before we got there though, they left a rosary behind and I didn’t even notice there was a-”

What if I tell him?

That’s a question she’s been avoiding, but it still managed to pop up out of nowhere. Stella never really figured out when she started to have strong feelings for Ramón. Maybe it was when they were running around Mill Valley together trying to figure out the Bellows girl. Maybe it was in the midst of writing back and forth, finding ease in his words. Stella felt silly, she knew she liked him the minute she barged into his car at that drive-in, but she did not expect for the small crush to stick around for that long.

Stella felt conflicted with the idea of confessing to her first real crush. What if he could only see the two as friends while she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about him for the past two years? Plus, Ramón just came back from Vietnam and if she considered the stories of those who have come back, would he even care about something like this right now?

She felt her heart twitch at the thought of Ramón’s head still stuck on the other side of the Pacific.

The knock on her door snapped Stella out of her thoughts. Putting the box back on the shelf, she grabbed her journal and went out to Chuck. He flashed her a goofy smile and dangled his roommate’s car keys by the fingers, “I’m driving first, already argued with Auggie about it and it’s settled.”

The drive to Texas was a long one, the three would switch between driving, reading off from the map and sleeping in the backseat. The first time Auggie was on the wheel, they accidentally veered off course because Chuck apparently doesn’t know how to hold a map. The pair argued in hushed voices, but Auggie’s frustration still woke up Stella. She groggily pushed her way up front and looked over the map, commenting on Chuck’s great sense of direction. Immediately, she pointed her finger at the new route they found themselves in and flopped back down.

In a small town where they stopped to get gas, a couple of middle school students were playing baseball in a nearby field and nearly missed the car’s windshield by an inch. In a split second, Stella was having to hold Chuck back from freaking out on them and had Auggie throw the ball back to the apologetic kids.

Later that night at a lonely rest stop’s restroom, the boys rushed out of there swearing up and down the men’s room was haunted. “Stella, I’m telling you, the only flickering light was the one in the last stall. We were washing our hands and we suddenly heard shaky humming from there, with no one inside.” Chuck widened his eyes and wiggled his fingers at Stella.

The tall grass that surrounded the rest stop waved about from the light wind, seeming to make waves towards the woods. As the three looked beyond the pasture, following the waves into the trees, they could barely make out several tall, slender figures in the moonlight at the edge of the woods.

“Those are just tree trunks right?” Auggie asked quietly, until one of the “tree trunks” seemed to let itself glide back like a blade of grass from the wind.

“Alright, I believe you.” Stella admitted as the three rushed into the car, she began to pull out of the parking lot, “I’m so not dealing with this shit again.”

They drove a few towns over before agreeing to stop at another rest stop that wasn’t completely abandoned and slept in the car for a few hours.

Once they reached the Louisiana-Texas border, Auggie and Stella kept their eyes peeled as they drove an hour into Houston. They managed to find Ramón’s house after passing by it twice and knocked on his door.

Elizabeth welcomed them in, “Hey, my parents are out right now, but Ramón’s awake upstairs.” she noted, closing the door behind them.

Chuck and Auggie immediately noticed the wall of family pictures by the entrance. Elizabeth was quick to point out Ramón’s baby pictures and mentioned the charming resemblance between him and their older brother. Stella looked closer at the image of Ramón and his siblings at a pool before following Elizabeth upstairs.

They stopped at the first white door to the right and lightly knocked, “Ramón, your friends are here.”

After hearing his “come in”, she opened the door to see Ramón sitting on his bed, occupied with his younger brother. The toddler was too distracted with his plastic dinosaurs to notice the visitors, only looking up when Ramón stopped playing with him and finally noticed everyone at the door.

“Vente,” Elizabeth held her arms out to the small boy, “en un rato juegas con Món.”

The toddler hesitated with leaving Ramón, but after getting his older brother’s go-ahead he walked over to Elizabeth’s arms. The two disappearing into the hallway.

“Món?” Chuck asked cheekily as Ramón carefully got up.

“Mateo can only pronounce Món and it stuck,” Ramón smirked, “also, I can’t hug you entirely, so you’ll have to do with my right side.” he informed, getting closer to the three.

Stella was the first to hug him, careful with his left side as she buried her face into his shoulder, “If either of you start crying, I’ll start crying too.” Ramón jokingly warned, hand stroking her hair.

“You hear that, Chucks?” Auggie nudged Chuck’s arm before hugging Ramón.

“Yeah, whatever. I’ll start bawling for our guy here any minute now.” Chuck quipped before turning serious, “No really, we missed you dude.”

“Me too Chucks, even when your letters would keep on ending up miles away from me.” Ramón pulled Chuck in.

The four settled on his bed, catching up with him for hours into the afternoon. Chuck even took the liberty of drawing on his small arm cast, “Does your hand hurt?” he asked, doodling himself onto the white.

“Right now it doesn’t, mostly numb thanks to the pills. I still don’t know when I’ll be able to move it and use it.” Ramón noted as Stella grabbed another marker and started to draw a dragon onto his cast.

When Ramón’s parents came home, they invited the three to stay for dinner. Despite the awkward communication and Auggie’s choppy Spanish, they were all comfortable at the table. Most of all, Stella felt content with Ramón sitting next to her and seeing him with his family. Even considered confessing her heart out later that night, but she was still anxious about his reaction.

After hearing that the trio planned on staying at a hotel for the night, Mr. and Mrs. Morales did not like the idea. “En un hotel? No, como crees. Diles que por lo menos se queden aquí esta noche y ya ven si se van a un hotel mañana.” Mrs. Morales told her daughter, eyes darting between the three.

“Mija, deja que se duerman en tu cuarto, tú te vas con Ramón.” Mr. Morales added.

Elizabeth smiled, “My parents want the three of you to consider staying here at least for tonight. You guys can sleep in my room, there are two beds there.” she translated.

Chuck’s eyebrows shot up, “Really? There’s no trouble?” he asked.

“Nah, you guys are fine. My other sister, Ana, is out of town this week and Elizabeth will sleep in my room.” Ramón assured.

The three thanked Mr. and Mrs. Morales with an awkward, but genuine “gracias”. Chuck and Auggie even got up to help Mrs. Morales gather and take the dishes to the kitchen, much to Ramón’s amusement. Left alone at the table, Ramón and Stella decided to go back upstairs with Mateo on her hip.

Ramón went into the restroom, took out a bottle of pills from behind the mirror and started to brush his teeth, “Ever since the surgery I’ve been getting tired easily and these pills knock me out.” he explained. “Won’t be able to stay up with you.”

“It’s no problem, we need some sleep too.” Stella let Mateo down once he nudged at her arm to get down.

I should tell him now.

There it was again, she pondered over confessing as she followed him into his room. For a while, the two were deep in conversation on his bed until he started to drift off, “Sorry if I just fall asleep on you.” he apologized with a small smile.

“Ramón, I…” Stella hesitated, biting her lip. Ramón’s eyes fluttered open a bit, trying to listen to anything else she had to say.

As Ramón’s eyes grew heavy, Stella tried again. “I think I…” she began, hands fidgeting on her lap. “I think I’m in love with you.” she whispered, it was finally out but Ramón was already asleep.

The next morning as everyone went downstairs for breakfast, Ramón winked at Stella and pulled her close for a hug, “Good morning, how did you sleep?” he asked with a raspy voice.

“Alright, you?” she chirped, the idea of him having heard her last night racing through her head.

“I actually slept pretty well, no nightmares. Think it helps that you’re all here.” Ramón smiled, not knowing what he was doing to the poor girl’s heart. “Tonight, you, Auggie and Chuck should stay in my room to keep the jungle away for another night.” he added.

After breakfast, Mr. and Mrs. Morales rushed to work, promising everyone they’d come home early. Everyone settled to watch TV in the living room except Elizabeth, who had already secured plans with her friends.

“Mateo’s fine with four babysitters today, huh?” Elizabeth commented, carrying the toddler over to Chuck and Auggie’s place on the couch. The two kept the smaller boy laughing by mocking the voices of characters from Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! on screen. On the other couch, Ramón and Stella sat close with his right arm over her shoulders, hand mindlessly playing with her hair.

Once the three boys tired themselves out from imitating random noises from the TV, they fell asleep with Mateo sprawled out over the older boys. Stella took the opportunity to tell Ramón how she felt, again.

“Ramón, last night in your room.” she recalled, feeling his gaze on her. “I told you something I don’t think you heard.”

“I heard you, Stella.” Ramón nodded, “I can tell it’s hard for you, but I know what you said last night.” he kissed her temple reassuringly.

“Yeah, it’s hard but I feel like I need to make myself clear.” Stella explained, finally turning to look at him.

Ramón shook his head, “That’s okay, every time I got your letters it would become more and more clear. I feel like I’m the one who hasn’t made myself clear,” he cooed. Hearing that, Stella felt her heart at ease.

“Ready to hear it?” he asked with a knowing smile.

Before he continued, Stella spontaneously began to pepper kisses all over his face, drawing out a soft giggle from Ramón.

*Feedback is always welcome!*

#ramon morales #scary stories to tell in the dark #ramon morales x stella nicholls #stella nicholls #august hilderbrandt #chuck steinberg #ssttitd #mine #when you do a bunch of vietnam war research #and not even half of it makes it on the work -_-#the ssttitd writers did ramon dirty tho omg #he's got a brother and he ran away :) no :) further :) questions :)

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spanimator · 5 years

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The Walking Dead: Final Season; Take us Back thoughts (major spoilers)

please let me know your thoughts!

So I plan on writing an actual in depth review sometime later but I just wanted to write down my thoughts on the episode with what i loved about it and what i think could of been improved or changed! Its been 2 days since Take us Back came out so I’ve had time to better process things.

pros:

-the narration by AJ at the start is really neat and made me feel both scared and worried especially when he said “I don’t think she’s always doing the right thing, we’ve been doing a lot of bad things to save our friends..” its a spicy start to the episode

-most of the action sequences ESPECIALLY THE BARN SCENE are really cool this episode!

-the james scene in the cave is really wack and i love it a lot! i know a lot of people liked angry james near the end of ep 3, well here’s 10 minutes of it! but really the scene was intense all around, i used to really dislike james in the scene but i have grown to understand why he acts this way, although some shots like that creepy smile is?? questionable haha.. the other branch where james is dead is intense aswell too! good job on this scene!

-the talk in the woods with violet/louis is really nice, its much needed after all the drama that just happened! the scenes made me laugh a lot too like “texas 2″ or “thanks dad!” i love these characters so much guys.

-WOWOW minerva and the bridge scene is really great!! i felt really bad for her its so tragic. but yeah the way she sings, limping and bitten everywhere but still pushing through is so messed up and terrifying. she looked so scary and i love the gore to it, truly is a horrific moment! however one thing, during the fight it seems like the walkers never seem to make it across the truck to you so you can literally just chill hidden the whole time..

-tenn’s death: i think it was handled quite well, its a very shocking moment, and very very sad.. and louis and ESPECIALLY violet’s reaction to it are really heartbreaking! voice acting was amazing. its even more messed up when minnie is happy about this (made me think of carol peletier from the comics) i also like how his death is not forgotten at the end too and its brought up. i do have some things to say about tenn’s character in general though../contrary i also enjoy what they do with him if he is kept alive, its a very heartwarming moment!

-thinking about it just makes me teary but the scenes where clem gets bit and is slowly starting to accept it once they get to the barn is just so scary and depressing. i’m not gonna get too much into it but the barn scene is really great and the music and switching between clem and AJ is even more alarming, making the player think its over and AJ is taking the torch. also “gotcha” as clem bops aj’s nose made me crumble STOP

-ranch flashback is really underappreciated but yeah its really great and quite traumatic. the burn victim gave me chills and Eddie’s short cameo is great! aj and clem’s moment in the car is really sweet.. and made me cry even more. i also thought the placement of the scene is perfect.

-THE ENDING: So yeah apparently quite a few are mad about the ending but honestly I say piss off to those people, i thought the ending is a really great end to clem’s journey! i had a feeling clem would make it but prior to the scene i really thought she was dead. when i heard her speak i YELLED, got up, woke up my family and hugged my mom, i’m serious! Clem is a badass whom we’ve ventured with for YEARS, she fucking deserves the happy ending and i just get confused with those who wanted her to die?? like wtf; also the take us back scene and the dinner is just wonderful thank you so much to the team. i loved it all. also i love how aj can interact with all the collectibles what a treat! i love how aj’s thoughts were all jumbled too he’s fun to play as!

TL;DR: emotional moments are well done, ending is near perfect, visuals, colors, cinematography, voice acting and music are all great! also thank u for all the romantic moments

cons:

-im mixed about lilly’s portrayal this season. i expected more i guess. they kinda built her up to be kinda redeemable but at the same time its lilly.. i got kinda mad at first when you only see her for a minute! compared to james who gets more than 10 minutes of screentime. but i think i’ve grown to accept it. the way she floats away like a fucking loser is what she deserves. in a way i think its better to have her alive so she can live with all the horrible shit she’s done. and you can sorta tell she feels somewhat bad about it. BUT.. at the same time i think she’ll never learn which just makes me mad i let her get away on my main. what do you guys think of her? because at this point idk how to feel but its certainly not great.

-i don’t like the way captured violet and louis got over their trauma so easily. Louis was visibly traumatized and shaken in the cell and soon after he’s just seen smiling. Violet feels abandoned and betrayed but soon after she’s just like “uhhh about what i said in the cell...” I think it would of been better to save that line for the ending only so violet has more time to think and heal. and while it was really sweet to see louis still being flirty and sweet i can’t help but feel there should of been an extra scene where their traumas are discussed better.

-Violet and Louis’ deaths are not good. the problem with their deaths is that they don’t feel important, they feel like a game over death! they get eaten for 6 seconds, clementine yells “NOOOO” and AJ gets mad and slaps tenn. Then they run. I think the emphasis on their deaths and a better reaction would improve the scene a lot. Its especially frustrating if Clementine has a close or romantic relationship to these characters. there is no difference in reaction at all. She doesn’t even cry. This is why so many people restarted the episode! As cute and lovable Tenn is, the player has spent many more scenes interacting with Violet and Louis (the most important characters of the season besides AJ and Clem). Its sucks but I understand why people would wanna restart and save their lover or best friend. At the end you get a conversation with AJ and Tenn about their death (which i thought wasn’t so bad) but nothing with Clem. We get a short shot of the grave with a drawing and nothing else. I really didn’t like that.. It felt like something was really missing. Its too bad because ya know i really like the outcome if Tenn lives but i always find myself to rather have my SO live instead as bad as it sounds.. What do you guys think?

-i feel like certain characters like mitch, aasim and omar etc. could of had more chances to shine. Mitch shines in episode 2 and dies but that’s it. I wish in episode 1 he had more screentime.. Its really too bad since he’s big favorite of mine. Aasim aswell was interesting in ep 1 and 2 but unfortunately barely got any lines in ep 3 and 4. christ’s sake omar of all people had more lines than aasim in ep 4! im very glad he got mentioned many times and romances ruby but i think more lines from him would of been nice. idk like maybe have louis tease him about ruby at the table.. something!

-i thought the pacing and length of the episode was a little strange. this episode significantly feels shorter than the others. obviously it depends on your play style but from what i noticed this episode is about 30 minutes shorter than the others. i feel like some extra scenes could of been put in to fix some character development issues and such.

TL;DR: character development is flawed in some spots, pacing and length issues can be bothersome

i’ll have more to say another time but i really enjoyed this episode and i think its a great end to clementine’s journey! i know the whole caravan thing is left to be ambiguous so i think it would be so cool to have a little dlc. i’d definitely buy it. i recommend getting this season and instead of just watching let’s plays i hope some can invest in an actual copy, the team really deserves a profit! this entire season has been very solid and its my favorite of the series! not sure which episode is my favorite yet but they’re definitely all worth playing!

#twdg #the walking dead #twdg spoilers #the final season #the walking dead game #twdg clementine #twdg aj #twdg louis #twdg violet

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homosociallyyours · 5 years

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a friend just posted a pic on fb of the coffee shop we used to hang out at, taken way back in the day. it’s just a shot of the place taken from inside, looking out the big glass windows and onto the street of downtown chattanooga. but one friend pointed out that she could see another friend’s van parked across the street, and one of the baristas came on and said he’d taken the photo and then proceeded to post a bunch more.

anyway i’m feeling nostalgic so i’m posting about it. memories behind the cut.

i started going there when i was maybe 15 years old. i don’t remember why, but it’s likely that the artsy nerd club i was a part of (we stayed after school to watch amadeus and monty python and we’d sometimes go to the local art museum) went there after a meeting one day. or maybe someone told me about it. anyway, it was my favorite place to go. i would drink pots of tea, always trying new things.

on my 16th birthday my parents got me a teapot from there and a gift certificate to buy tea with. i had that teapot til it broke a year ago. 20+ years! it moved with me to and from college, to nyc, california, texas, and back to california. damn.

anyway after i’d been going for a while i started talking with the owner. his name was ian, and he was pretty young. he loved tea and coffee and he had a roaster where they’d make their own coffee. it was loud and lovely, and for a long time it lived up front, right by a little elevated area with couches. when it was running you couldn’t hear anything and had no choice but to either shout or be quiet.

ian encouraged my love of tea, and offered to keep track of everything i’d tried in a little notebook that was kept behind the counter. i got to make notes on every pot i drank, and i remember writing “terrible! grass!” after my first pot of green tea (it was oversteeped--my fault--and probably made with water that was too hot--their fault). i had my first pu-er there, and fell in love with its damp leaf flavor and that turned earth scent that it has. i drank multiple pots of jasmine pearls and wrote a caffeine fueled poem about it with a friend. i loved that little coffee shop.

i don’t remember when i went from hanging out inside to hanging out outside, but i feel like i was 18 or so. the older people (they were probably barely 21-25, fucking babies) sat out there smoking and drinking coffee. i developed a crush one summer on a guy who made me think of arthur dent for some reason (don’t ask because i don’t know) and we went on one awkward date and didn’t kiss, and now i wonder what’s happened to him and if he, too, wasn’t straight. who knows? someone, i’m sure, but i can’t remember his last name anymore so is it even relevant?

i’d never felt cool til i went off to college. it was like leveling up without trying, like when you’re playing a game and do one action and suddenly all your stats are refilled and you’re like...this is unexpected? but i’ll take it? i think that’s why i decided i could really sit with the outside tables. that and my bff, who was dating someone who was friends with a lot of those people, would show up sometimes and sit out there.

(if you’ve actually been reading along so far, here’s where i’m gonna introduce you to a bunch of people i’ve never talked about before and will likely never mention again. just so you have fair warning.)

the cast of characters shifted a lot, but there were always the constants. scott, the barista, who was much older than most of the people hanging out but looked young and seemed young. i look back with adult eyes and question the relationship we had, but at the time i just thought it was cool that someone so much older thought i was worth hanging out with. but he was 30 when i was 19, and man that’s a lotta years. he had a summer where he hit on my friend and i constantly, after his wife left him and he was kinda floundering a bit. but it never went past flirting and it never bothered me, though like i said it kinda does now. we were still hanging out when i was 21 and we’d go get beers after the coffee shop closed at ten or midnight. he’d turn up obnoxious music really loud and i’d sometimes help close.

there was gabe and george, brother and sister in a family of people with names starting with the letter g. george was tiny and cute and either very drunk or very hyper from coffee at all times. gabe was a nerd who was usually quiet but loved to play scrabble, and we’d take the board inside sometimes and battle one another. he was much better than me, i won’t lie. liz and ever were both writers who would play with us sometimes. ever had changed her name at some point (to ever; any name she had before is irrelevant) and when we met she explained the meaning of her new name, which i won’t give because damn it’s very google-able.

she was a so fascinating to me, always talking about some feminist theory or philosopher, and i always felt so smart when we’d hang out. like a Serious Thoughtful Adult and not a kid. and liz was less serious but no less smart. she played scrabble a lot more and for a while we got pretty close. she took me out after coffee sometimes to a shitty bar with pool tables and tried to teach me how to play pool. she had her own cue and even though she was like 5′2″ she could break like nobody’s business. i never figured out how to do that part.

alex would come with us sometimes. he was tall and handsome and rode a motorcycle, and was the first openly bi guy i ever met. one time he invited me over to his house and we laid around listening to the smiths and talking. he burned me a copy of their greatest hits that i still have, all scratched up so it probably doesn’t play anymore. he crashed his bike more than once driving drunk. dumb fuckin kid. now he repairs coffee machines and sails, i think. life is funny.

a few other people ran in groups. meg and waide and the aforementioned jason and ardyce. some people called meg “big megan” and another megan (her family was really wealthy, rich southern politicians who knew the clintons and have a mention in sweet home alabama--the song, not the movie) was “little megan” because she was still in high school. i joked that i was medium megan, but the whole thing was awkward because big megan was fat and i was small fat and little megan was skinny. i’m gonna blame it on thoughtless dudes, but who the fuck knows? we all pretended not to mind it anyway.

waide ended up being a connection with other people who i met later. my hometown is weird in that it’s actually a pretty big part of the southern punk scene, so a lot of punks i meet have spent time there, and anyone over a certain age probably spent time at the bar waide worked at (the stone lion, and then maybe also the pickle barrel) so he’s one of those people who i’ll end up mentioning even though we haven’t spoken in years.

at some point a kid named ory showed up. i think he was 16 when he started coming around, and i used to call him puppy because he was excitable and silly, full of energy one minute and then mopey crashing the next. like a lot of people there he drank a lot and would be fucked up sometimes and make dumb choices. i always wanted to protect him. when i was 22 (and he was 19, i think) we ended up sitting together at the second lotr movie and having some kind of weird chemistry. that summer i drove him home one night and we had a super heavy make out with lots of clothed grinding. honestly the furthest i’ve ever gone with a cis straight(ish, he hooked up with a couple dudes but idk if he’d say he’s bi) dude and it was awkward in that we never talked about it? and then he came to visit me a couple years later in new york because he was in the navy, and he got super drunk and passed out on my couch and was a mess because he literally never stopped being a puppy.

he’s fucked up now, fully cancelled bc he said shit about girls rock camp (really dude?) and also probably cheated on his wife on their honeymoon? idk, it was fb rumors and then he deleted. but i’d believe it, honestly.

and then there were all these absolutely random downtown characters: dirty mark (a crusty punk who was drunk or high most of the time) and shirtless dave (yeah he really didn’t wear a shirt that much) usually came as a pair. sometimes dave hung out with a guy my friends and i called blue hair. he once hit on my friend and she panicked and gave him my number instead of hers because her brain didn’t make up a fake number fast enough.

there was sandy the flower man, who just passed away a couple weeks ago. he’d get flowers from local florists and go around on his bike, stopping into the coffee shop or to bars with roses and carnations and daisies. people gave him money usually, but sometimes he’d just hand you a flower because he wanted to. i saw a picture from a memorial and there was a portrait of him that was sat on top of his bicycle, all of it surrounded with flowers on flowers. so pretty. it’s what he deserved.

things changed around 2005 or so, i think. by that time, all the old baristas had left and the kids who came in were all weirdly religious and went to the christian college on the mountain. they made shitty coffee and sometimes played xtian rock and most of the old regulars couldn’t take it anymore. ian got sick around that time, too, and ended up selling the place. they stopped carrying much tea, if any.

but they finally sold the space and moved in like 2015. i remember the first time i drove by and didn’t see the lights on inside. it felt like seeing a friend from grade school all grown up, maybe the kid you had a crush on but they have a family now and you don’t think they’d recognize you at all so you just have to walk away. gone.

fuck this post is long as shit, i’m sorry for anyone on mobile. but damn it was good to get my memories out.

#long post #text post #personal #coffee shop memories #i thought i was so grown up

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prorevenge · 7 years

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Have fun being stranded in the Philippines.

Please be patient, the buildup to this is intense and long but the resulting revenge has probably put me on the Devil's shortlist. (tl:dr at the end)

About 3 months before I finally quit, I was getting really pissed. Management was never in the office, the Owner couldn't make up his mind about anything, and so many people were quitting that I ended up being the only Programmer/Developer in an office of about 50 people... for a company that received 95% of its business from online sales. People started taking credit for my work and I decided to quit. Looked around for jobs, found one pretty quickly, and put in my two weeks notice with a nice little note that simply said something to the effect of "I hereby resign, effective blah blah blah".

Lo and behold the man who had in the last few days become my manager (we'll call him Frank) instead of idk maybe promoting the only programmer in the company to the head of the development department, begged me to stay, promised me a raise, and told me about their new project and how he wanted me to be involved.

Their plan was to open an outsourcing branch of the office in the Philippines as some sort of industrial web-development location and they needed someone to run the place. Being the only one in the company who'd lived in Asia before, they really felt like I was a necessity to this endeavor and Frank offered a lot to try to make me stay: Company-provided apartment in Manila, Company-paid-for round-trip flights back from Manila once every few months to see family, stuff like that.

I thought about it for a few days and when my two-weeks were about to end, I decided it was worth a shot. That's when the trouble started. Frank demanded that if I wanted to go through with it and get the raise, I needed to write up the proposal. Then HR confronted me about the proposal, saying there was no way they were going to pay for anything except my salary and eventually Frank convinced the Owner (his besty) to go through with it.

Second problem came up. We were set to leave almost immediately. Malaria is a thing, and there wasn't enough time during those next couple days to get shots or pills or anything like that. I didn't realize this till much later and luckily it was never a problem.

A few days before we were set to depart for Manila, Frank left early to go see his kids in LA. When it was time for me to leave, I, on a miserable day in February, anxious and fully prepared to leave the States behind me for a while, walked into the airport like a dumbass and found that he had also bought my ticket to leave from LA. I live in Texas... where the fucking company is. I spent the rest of the day talking to HR and trying to convince them it was his fault I wasn't already on my way out.

Next day, I finally left. Met Frank in Tokyo the day after that. While standing in line to board our flight to Manila, Frank leans over and says quietly under his breath that he had forgotten to get us Work Visas. It didn't dawn on me how terrible a mistake that was at the time.

When we got there, we checked into one of the major hotels in Manila and before I can even touch my head to the pillow, there's big meaty-fisted knocking on my hotel-room door. It's Frank. He wants to go out to see the town. 30 drinks, a midget-boxing match, two escorts, and some local food later and it's 6 AM. I tell Frank I'm going back to the Hotel. I catch a taxi and head back.

Now being the only programmer at this company, my duties didn't stop once I left the country. Being a small company full of less-than-intelligent people, none of them could figure out the time difference and constantly through the night were leaving me messages about stuff they needed done, messages that I couldn't ignore. For the next two days I programmed away, mentioned every three hours to them when they were awake that I needed sleep and couldn't be doing this the entire time I was there, and didn't see Frank one bit. Turns out he was partying literally nonstop.

Suddenly, meaty-fisted pounding on the door again. Frank had gotten a call from the Owner complaining that we weren't getting anything done like we had planned. Big surprise there. His primary goals upon getting there were to acquire an Apartment and an Office Space so obviously it was my priority too. We run all around the city for three weeks looking for places and while I'm looking for an Office, Frank finds an apartment. Doesn't matter that I was going to be the one living in it, it was his decision and I don't think he really even tried to judge the apartment appropriately. There was an incredible cockroach infestation, the water only worked partially, the AC didn't work at all (and Manila is not a place you'd want to live without AC), and the internet was pay-as-you-go 0.15mbps at 15 bucks every 3 days. Fine. I don't need internet. IT'S ONLY THE ONE THING THAT I NEED FOR ANY KIND OF HEAVY WEB DEVELOPMENT.

Frank left a few days later, leaving behind a girl he'd met at the club and wanted to fuck, but hired as our "Executive Assistant" (we'll call her Nancy). Nancy was the only thing about the entire time I was there that wasn't bad. After all, it was Nancy who asked me how long my visa lasted and therefore reminded me that my 30 days were almost up to be in the country legally. Tried getting ahold of Frank and got nothing. HR was no use. Had to pay for a flight out of the country for a mini-vacation to renew my visa out of pocket.

Of course, while Frank was there, he had been paying Nancy her salary, which was fantastic for pretty much anyone in the Philippines. When he left, he started getting sloppy... er... sloppier, and completely forgot to pay her, which of course he forgot to tell me. So, sitting on a beach on Okinawa, rum in hand, sun beating down upon my laptop while I furiously coded away the new system for our company's site, I get a phonecall from Frank. Seems innocent enough, except for the fact that it was an international call (one of the hundreds that he made to me while I was over there, despite my introducing him to Whatsapp) and he was furious that I had not paid Nancy and the business-licensure fees had not been paid ($10,000 out of my pocket, that he was supposed to pay).

I was done. I snapped back at him and he and I fought over the phone for a few minutes: him making excuses, me blaming him for the conditions I was working in, our lack of business-licensure, work-visas, and office space. He settled down and congratulated me on standing up for myself. What a dick. He had continually pissed me off since he became my manager, constantly berated me, literally picked me up and hung me over the edge of the railing at the top of the highest skyscraper in Manila as a fucking joke, and called me gay in front of every beautiful woman in Manila that we met. Blaming ME for YOUR FUCKING MISTAKES?? Sorry, it still gets me mad.

I made two more phone calls that afternoon. The first was to Nancy to ask her what was up. She was crying because she knew that he was going to yell at me for his mistake but she didn't have a choice because she'd spent her first salary on running water for her family's home. I told her I wasn't mad at her, but explained very well and full that I was not going to be taking Frank's shit any more. The second call I made was to HR to find out if I was going to be able to fly home if I quit, not just if I was fired.

My few days on Okinawa came to an end and I flew back to Manila where I was picked up by Nancy. She was so apologetic it was extremely hard to be any kind of angry with her. I told her how much I hated Frank and what I intended to do and while she was making pretty good money off the whole thing, she hated Frank so much more than the money so we forged a mini-Frank-revenge-party. She invited me to her friend's birthday the next day and we went, drank a ton, took a cab, and before we even reached my apartment she started kissing me.

Step One Completed: steal the girl.

After I had been back in Manila maybe a week, I got another international call from Frank saying that the rest of the company was pissed off that I had been to Okinawa and I suppose (despite the fact that they could have easily checked to see if I was doing work by going to our fucking website and looking at the changes that were made every day) that it looked like I wasn't doing anything. I lied, said I had been doing nothing, that I had spent the entire time drinking at bonfires on the beach. He got mad, told me he was going to write me up. Go for it, bro. That pissed him off so he told me he was planning on returning to Manila shortly to get everything in order.

Step Two Completed: get Frank back to Manila.

About a week later he flew in, stayed at the fancy hotel again, and scheduled a meeting with me at his favorite restaurant in Manila (to be fair though, it's Havana Cafe, in Greenbelt and it's amazing). Nancy and I were pretty much living together at this point so we had to time out when she would leave versus when I would leave so that it looked like we had started in separate locations. We showed up and Frank proceeded to tell us that he was very upset with the way we were conducting business. 3 hours later and he had successfully insulted everything he knew about me, my principles, Nancy's innocence, and with one final blow to my experiences. He told me that he understood why I was having so much trouble with business, that it was because I wasn't used to moving across the planet. Yeah no, no idea about that, no idea what living in different countries since I was eleven is like.

He went back to his apartment and, feeling charitable, offered me the chance to go back to the States to see family and give myself a chance to relax and get away from all this "foreign" stuff for a while. Thanks Frank.

Step Three Complete: Get back to the States.

I told Nancy goodbye, flew back to Texas and vegged at my mom's house for a week and a half before HR called me to say that although Frank had given me two weeks vacation, I was only eligible for one week... but they could let me stay out of work for no pay for the rest of the week if I wanted. So, I very calmly but furiously ended the call, opened up my laptop, deleted all the progress I had made for the company's website for the last few weeks and never uploaded, and started my notice:

"EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, I QUIT. WANNA KNOW WHY?"

and then went on to explain in vivid and exorbitant detail a two-page notice with everything that had happened with Frank and the business in Manila including but not limited to:

how Frank wasted company funds on plane tickets that were never used

how I was made to pay out of my pocket on more than one occasion for flights to renew my visa, business-licensure fees, apartment rent, international calls and internet

how Frank regularly spent company money on hookers, alcohol, club entry fees, expensive food, etc...

that he had hired our "executive assistant" to basically be his in-house prostitute

how Frank had missed multiple payments, salaries for Nancy, and had never in the entire time I was there acquired an Office

inciting to actually separate the Manila branch from the main company and sell our services to them for profit.

and so much more than I can remember right now

Here comes the good part. Last I'd heard, Frank was fired and lost his work-visa for the States (since he was Australian), managed to convince the Owner of the company to let him open the office anyway, lost that contract because (since he didn't know a goddamn thing about programming) he hired people who knew nothing about web-development, lost the business in the Philippines, married a Philippine hooker, had a heart-attack, and has been traveling around without a home relying on airbnb bookings.

Step Four Complete: ruin Frank's life?

I feel bad about the Heart-attack, not that I caused it. He had a way of eating that Doctors wouldn't dare call "unhealthy" for the reason that it is too soft a word. I on the other hand loved Manila, loved the Philippines, loved getting to go back to Okinawa, and have been in constant contact with Nancy ever since. We're actually planning on getting married soon so, it wasn't a total waste.

Only problem is trying to explain all this to future employers.

Thanks for reading, I'll see you all in Hell.

TL;DR Boss-man made my job, managing an outsourcing office in the Philippines, a living hell. So, I ruined his life.

(source) (story by babynecro)

#pro revenge #by babynecro #prorevenge #pro revenge stories #revenge stories #pro #revenge

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strawberry-boogie · 7 years

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(feature image by Shayan Asgharnia)

I first came in contact with Los Angeles based superhero Sama'an Ashrawi a few months back. I was at my 9-5 when he hit me up via email to talk about the Afrofuturistic web series that he was co-producing for DUST. He had found a piece I’d done on Missy Elliott’s love for spacey visuals and we soon started chatting about media, art, and futuristic Black life.

I figured out pretty quickly that Ashrawi was way more dope than I could’ve ever imagined. He’s met Herbie Hancock, Ladybug Mecca, Thundercat, and countless other legendary creative pillars. Since we’ve been in touch, he’s shared great stories about his life with me and I’m grateful that someone with his experience is that open. I mentioned that I wanted to interview him and he quickly and graciously accepted. So, without further ado, here is my chat with Sama'an Ashrawi, Trill Gladiator.

⭐️

Who are you?

My name is Sama’an, my friends often refer to me as “dad” because:

a) I like to make sure everyone stays hydrated when we go out dancing

b) my dance moves are pretty stiff (almost nailed a Milly Rock last weekend, but I’m not quite there yet), and

c) because I am very much into puns.

I also get called “William Miller” a lot because my hair and career have a lot of similarities to the kid from the movie Almost Famous. This clip = me. From a young age, I’ve been able to gain the trust of, and land interviews with, really big names. I was 20 when I interviewed Raekwon for the first time, 21 when I interviewed Kendrick Lamar and Damian Marley.

What sparked your interest in Afrofuturism?

The short answer is: a combination of things in my upbringing.

The long answer is:

Since I was a teenager, I was into the music of Hendrix and George Clinton and watched plenty of Star Trek thanks to my parents; they met in college as political activists and over the years have introduced me to their many friends who were veterans of various liberation movements. My parents and their friends taught me intersectionality before I was introduced to that term in college.

Though I can’t be sure if it happened on Twitter or in the classroom, I discovered the music of Sun Ra and Fela Kuti and the idea of Afrofuturism as I pursued a minor in African Diaspora Studies. The Af Am classes I took were hugely important in shaping my understanding of the uniqueness of the psychology of the African American experience, but I think it was my parents’ homegrown education that gave me the foundation to be aware of and open to those ideas.

(shot by Sarah Jasmine Montgomery)

College changed my life. It’s where I paid my dues. It’s where I met so many of the people who would open doors for me and help me set my sails. Many of them I still work with to this day. But I think the two most important things I did in college were: becoming a producer at, and eventually entertainment director of, Texas Student TV (our student-run TV station) & minoring in Africa & African Diaspora Studies.

I think when people try to downplay the history of racism in this country, pointing them to Sun Ra is a great rebuttal because it’s like… things were really so bad that Sun Ra wanted to take black people to a whole new planet. That Sun Ra’s escapism was so heavy and yet he could still present it in such a beautiful amd melodic way still blows my mind. In general, I think art that comes from marginalized communities has the ability to cut through the static in a way that is unparalleled— more than a speech ever could.

Have you learned anything in the last week?

Hmmmm what have I learned in the last week? I learn so much from my friends every day, you’re making me want to start a journal dedicated to the things my friends teach me. Some wisdom that my big brother Gary Clark Jr just imparted to me is: when you’re collaborating with someone, it’s like a dance; if you’re moving at two different speeds, you’re gonna trip each other up. So if you feel like you’re moving faster than the other person, pump your brakes.

(shot by Marco Torres)

How did you meet Bun B?

I just had the treat of witnessing him tell this story last time I was in Houston. It’s way more cinematic when he tells it, but, we met almost exactly 7 years ago, in July of 2010. It was the summer after my sophomore year at The University of Texas and I had just been handed the reins to produce the hip-hop show at our school’s student-run TV station, Texas Student TV. The show had formerly been called ATX Most Wanted, but our entertainment director at the time, the now Emmy-winning Tabitha Lipkin, said she wanted me to come up with a new name.

I had driven to Houston from Austin to cover Trae Day— underground legend Trae Tha Truth’s city holiday and its corresponding concert. (PS Trae gave me a lot of my first looks, and for that I am forever grateful—later, when I became entertainment director at the TV station, I would get his videos and cartoon sketches played on the station. PPS I may or may not have a cameo in this music video, I’ll let you find it though)

At any rate, Lupe Fiasco happened to be at Trae’s concert and so I went right up to him and introduced myself; my sister was with me and she got a great, sweaty picture of us together that I need to dig up. (As the years have gone by, Lupe has been a sort of enigmatic mentor figure, appearing a few times a year to give me encouragement or advice, and whenever I’ve needed to do an interview, he’s always said yes.)

Anyway, at Trae Day I also met a rapper named Troublesum; she and I struck up a conversation and she asked, “Are you going to Bun B’s album listening session tonight?”

I was like, “I had no idea that was even a thing.”

So she gave me the deets and a few hours later we met back up there. This was Bun’sTrill O.G. album which has the distinction of being the last album given 5 mics by The Source. Troublesum introduced me to one of Bun’s managers, Bone, I gave him my spiel and asked if I could interview Bun. He said, “Once we’re done listening to the album, I got you.”

You’ve gotta know that growing up in Texas, Bun is looked at as a Greek God, mythical and omnipotent. I thought it would take me years to meet the man, let alone interview him. Here I was, just a few months into my “career”, and I was in a studio sitting next to Lupe Fiasco and Young Buck (lol) waiting to interview Bun.

The new name for the show I had come up with was simple and to the point, “Longhorn Hip Hop”; Our school mascot is the Longhorns, so it made sense. I told myself, okay, if it sounds good coming out of Bun’s mouth, it’s gonna stick (Bun would tell me I should say “pause” here, but this isn’t his interview so I’m not gonna say it!) So we did the interview, it went well, and Bun said something like, “Shoutout to Longhorn Hip Hop; Hook ‘em Horns, baby,” and I was like, “Yup, that’s it.”

Then I ended up at a lot of events over the next few months that Bun also was at and built up a good rapport with the people around him; I think understandably Bun is wary of letting new people into his circle, so he kept his distance from me at first to see if I was a genuine person. But the way Bun likes to tell it is that the breakthrough moment was when I showed up to his bodyguard Truck’s birthday party the next year, that was what made him initiate me into the Trill Gladiators. When Bun tells the story he always emphasizes the fact that, “Sama’an came allll the way to the HOOD” haha but for me it was more about supporting the people who supported me. And to this day, Bone, Truck, and Bun, among others, have always been there for me.

Do you feel lit? You’re pretty poppin in my opinion, but how do you feel about yourself?

Haha you know, I’m not sure I’ve ever used the term “lit” un-ironically mainly because I’m not sure it’s for me to say. I think I’ve done a lot of cool stuff, can’t deny that, but I’ve still got a lot of growing to do. One person who inspires me a great deal is Hannibal Buress; I look at how long he grinded it out before he caught his big breaks and it motivates me to keep going.

How do I feel about myself? Truthfully, maybe this says a lot about me, but I never take selfies. Is that weird? Like if you follow me on snapchat, you’ll rarely if ever see me post selfie pics/videos. What does that say about me? Idk.

What’s the most important part of your creative process?

Movement. Going for a walk, or a drive to a far away place, or playing basketball. Something about taking in new surroundings helps me get my ideas out, especially if I’ve got writer’s block.

Write three sentences. One for the past you, one for the current you, and one for super duper grown up you.

Past – Maybe don’t tweet so much.

Present – Sometimes growth is stressful and crying is okay.

Super Duper Grown Up – Please tell me I grow up to be a late night talk show host.

That’s all folks! Thanks for reading~

-Brooklyn White

#Sama'an Ashrawi #trill gladiator #creative #music #culture #brooklyn white #interview #afrofuturism #thundercat #bun b #UGK #herbie hancock #george clinton

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lizzybeth1986 · 5 years

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Quick Thoughts on The Royal Retcon Book 1 Chapter 11

• You've gotta admit, guys. This series spends more time retconning various aspects of their original story than they do on the actual premise.

• The food fight was wild and chaotic, the background history is always welcome, seeing Jess and Blake was nice and the moonlit hot springs scene was a nice change from everything...but my head is spinning from the constant shifts, okay?

• To avoid seeing my QTs in your dash, blacklist the following tags: #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs, #long post.

• Screenshots:

Hana: The Abhirio YouTube channel

Maxwell: @thethots-plicken and @itsbrindleybinch

Drake: The HIMEME YouTube channel

• Title: The Prodigal Father

Alternative: Most Parents in TRR Shouldn't Have Even Been Parents To Begin With

• The last chapter ended with a surprise twist: the return of Barthelemy Beaumont, father of Bertrand and Maxwell Beaumont. We had a lot of questions. Did Bertrand know he wasn't dead? Did Maxwell not know he wasn't dead? What the hell was he doing all these years and why had he left his sons in such a horrible position?

• Turns out the writers may have taken a leaf out from a Hindi serial or something coz - drumrolls - he was in a coma!

• Why do we never hear much about this so-called illness or even have a name put to it. What mysterious illness caused Barthelemy to deteriorate so much that he was trying out miracle cures from quacks and that he ended up in a coma for years? Why were his next of kin not informed when he came out of it or while he was rehabilitating? Why the heck wasn't Maxwell telling his wife this, or Bertrand his girlfriend? There is so much about this plot that doesn't even make sense.

• How does Barthelemy remember Drake from the court days but not Savannah ("Liam and Drake, you're so grown up now! Miss Savannah, you're lovelier than your reputation..."). Somehow he knows what's been said about Savannah and about Hana's accomplishments - wait if he'd been mostly getting his body back in order, how would he know this stuff? Who is telling him this? (Godfrey?? Is that why he's so faux-patriotic around us now??? Is that his real reason for visiting Cordonia only once a year or something?)

•

In Liam and Drake's cases, Barthelemy says the same thing about how Maxwell outdid himself by bringing the MC to the House, and that she has brought prestige to the Beaumonts. It's in Hana's and Maxwell's cases that the dialogue is different. In Maxwell's it's obviously as his daughter-in-law that he greets you, and in Hana's he speaks of now having two "daughters" in his house.

• Barthelemy then gets to the more serious part of his departure - the fact that Bertrand had to shoulder the responsibilities of being Duke earlier because of Barthelemy's condition, and that now Bertrand can relax while his father takes care of things at the estate. Is that care for his son talking...or his desire for control? I'm leaning towards the second.

• I'm pretty sure Bertrand is leaning towards the second because he's looking pretty resistant about this sudden change. His bride-to-be, Savannah, in the meantime, is super happy to meet her father-in-law and son's namesake. Hah. That'll change.

• Maxwell is nervous. Because he wants his father to see how different he is now, and how responsible he has become, but doesn't know what his old man will think. Don't worry, Esther says, plan this smartly and you'll get a new Pictagram follower!

• In any case, Maxwell's friends promise to help him get through this and support him, except for Drake who thinks he can impose limits (like "no singing"), because, yknow. The universe has to revolve around his comfort zone. Must be a Walker trait.

• More Jess and Blake nuggets! You get an option to ask them how they met, and they tell you about the cruise they first worked in (and presumably where Jess' sister met Liam's brother and (optionally) married him) and how they used to butt heads often. Nice RoE nugget, too bad the writers have so far barely even remembered Liam's brother who is from that series!

•

Yeah yeah I know that Kiara is probably back in Castelserraillian like the other courtly ladies (or chilling in a hotel somewhere in Texas), but if they're all supposed to be there for the wedding Savannah might as well have included her. Not only is Savannah a stinky fiancée and a stinky person in general (not a surprise considering her family), she is also a stinky friend.

• I repeat: my MC Esther has done practically nothing for Savannah. Nor has Hana. Why are we such a huge part of her ceremony again when she already had a long-time friend from court who had actually helped her and actually cared?? Only because we're the ones on an extended holiday in her ranch? Then say that - why do you need to make such a long speech about friendship while snubbing the one woman who made a damned effort to help you? (oh...right. I keep forgetting. Kiara is only remembered when people want to use her 😒).

• At the start of the rehearsals, Savannah tells Jess about the horse-riding-to-the-altar tradition, complete with a saddle that's been a family heirloom. Bianca and Leona, apologetically, inform Savannah that they had to sell it. Savannah tries to mask her disappointment, but fails. Barthelemy in the meantime, jumps in, in what he assumes would be "saving the day" (it's not, Bartie Sr. It really isn't)

Bartie...dude...you just got here. You can't already know what'll make your daughter-in-law happy when you've only spoken to her for all of five seconds. Plant your ass at the back of the congregation where it belongs!

• The girl really really wanted that saddle, okay Bartie Sr? Allow her to grieve that lost dream ffs.

• This scene I guess is helpful because while it still places Bartie Sr rather awkwardly in the "father trying to make amends and be caring" category, it gives you an inkling of why that persona doesn't sit so well on him. Bartie Sr may assume that this is something a caring parent does, except that what he's really doing is taking over, making all the attention revolve around him, believing he knows best and not listening to anyone. Even when he's being "nice".

• That saddle is going to come back some way or other, and it's probably going to be a diamond option, for which the free option is Savannah walking down the aisle with Bartie Sr. Eh. She threw a tantrum at my reception so her boyfriend could marry her, I'm not about to get her her dilapidated saddle. She can make do with her crusty father-in-law.

(The other possibility is that [at the end of the chapter] Bertrand left the house to get it or something idk, and it might be free after all. Is it too late to ask for the entire WEDDING to be a diamond option?)

• So this exchange leads us all to the Beaumont brothers remembering their childhood. Maxwell views it all through rose-coloured spectacles, Bertrand has very different memories of that time. Which is such a change from the previous series! I mean, wasn't Bertrand the one who kept going "my father's legacy, my father's legacy", while Maxwell was the one who didn't have very good memories of that time?

I can always imagine that Bertrand's views on his father must have changed when he started taking on the responsibilities of a father himself (thus making him view his childhood as 'not normal'). And Maxwell may well have come to appreciate Bartie Sr once he began taking House responsibilities. But guess who is breaking their heads to make these "connections". Us. Not the writers. Not the team in charge of this story.

• There are two PoVs to this scene: Maxwell's and Bertrand's. Maxwell's is the one that is lighter, funnier, showing us a wilder side of his brother, Bertrand is given the meatier one, with intrigue and a hint of plot.

- We're taken back to when Bertrand's motorbike was just purchased, and the boys choose to take it for a test ride. The Bertrand shown here is kinda similar to the one in the 6-years-ago flashback in Book 1, just...younger and cuter. Apparently in the time that Bertrand was living alone in a house with Maxwell, he aged like an avocado.

- What's with using this team and using the Waverley kids' faces for the Beaumont brothers??

- Young Bertrand and Maxwell don't mind living on the wild side - taking the Cavilieri Novanta 9S on a test drive through different areas in the estate, planning how they'll debut this beauty at the Beaumont Bash and generally making a racket. Bartie Sr scolds them from the window of his office, then asks them to come up and see him there. Bertrand opts to protect little Maxwell from his father's ire by going there alone, and then telling his brother that their father is "very proud" of them. Maxwell doesn't question this (the writers have forgotten that Young Maxwell was perceptive even as a little boy, so I'm not quite buying that he simply accepted what Bertrand said at face value), and jumps instead into planning a logo for their biker jackets (he suggests a kraken and a tiger). They can also opt to have a special kraken-related handshake.

- Bertrand, however, fills in the blanks, speaking to us about what he witnessed at the office, and what actually transpired.

This conversation is the point of the whole scene, and is connected to the Young! Drake scene in the sense that Bartie Sr and Godfrey are from the Great Houses that Constantine mentions are opposing the alliance with Auvernal. While they don't tell us what has disappointed these two so much, we do get the idea that they are displeased esp with the Queen because she has somehow convinced Constantine to not agree with what the two are planning so quickly. It's very possible that their frustration with Eleanor might have gotten them involved in some way with her death, but it's also possible that there are other players involved.

- Bertrand does not focus much on this bit because Bertrand is young and his priorities are different. The interesting thing about using these childhood flashbacks for the characters is that we will always get an incomplete picture, if only because the kids' priorities are different, and for them these side discussions will always count as "adult stuff". Big, scary, too complicated to understand.

- We do get a mention of Maxwell's weight (finally!). The writers frame it as Maxwell losing his weight after his mother's death and getting his regular exercise with his brother. This we get to know by Bartie Sr's fat-shaming comment about not wanted to see Maxwell get back to his "wide suits" (Seriously. Fuck this guy).

• Hypocrite alert! Godfrey who treats his perfectionist daughter as a failure just for existing and being a girl, now thinks he can yap about "being too hard" on one's children. Go fuck yourself Godfrey Not Gao (this nickname was brought to you by @callmetippytumbles).

• The bit that's most important to Bertrand is that he tries to pass an overdue bill to his dad, and his father ignores it to concentrate on "bigger" things. Which kinda leads you to believe that the problem existed waaaaay before Bartie Sr started believing in miracle cures for his mysterious illness. In fact I'm pretty sure both those things might be fabricated.

• So that's what Bertrand is trying to tell us. That Bartie Sr expected his sons to understand responsibility when he was not exactly ready to live up to that example himself. It still doesn't make sense though, considering every time Bertrand spoke about Bartie Sr it was as if he had to uphold the same legacy, and everytime Maxwell spoke about him it was to highlight what a disappointment he was to his father...and funny enough they've now switched roles.

• Anyway, Maxwell is now more inclined to believe Bartie Sr has turned a new leaf, while Bertrand is wary. He is not wrong about the controlling aspect though, even when his dad is trying to be nice he's being a controlling ass.

• Hana comes in and comforts Bertrand, in a scene I found pretty touching. She knows plenty about controlling, overbearing parents who expect plenty from her but fail to measure up to the little that she asks of them. I love how she makes the point that, having support or company of any form, works to lessen the pain of that kind of upbringing...and she knows this because she never had it.

• The bonding that takes place between Hana and Bertrand is lovely, although it's marred by the fact that were we going by the original idea of the Beaumont brothers' lives, Maxwell would be the one she'd be comforting.

• Two bits that stood out to me were where Bertrand offered to make up for all those years of disappointment and pain that Hana suffered, by being a sort of stand-in older brother now - and Hana's response to the whole idea of mending bridges:

I love the fact that she says this even as she still maintains her complicated relationship with her mother. It's small but a lot more than she was allowed to say earlier. In Book 3, a lot of what they had Hana say to Lorelai was more for Lorelai's benefit than her own (constantly educating her and telling the family that the most important thing was that they be happy together). Her responses were centered around Lorelai's comfort, not Hana's conflict. At least here, she gets to state (while safely away from her parents) how complicated her relationship with her parents is. I just hope this is not the last time we hear about it.

• It's now time for the rehearsal dinner! Everyone's seated at a pop-up restaurant Blake and Jess have made for the wedding, and includes the courses for the special day. It's bruschetta, a quiche and the wedding cake for dessert.

•

Auntie Bitch I hope you realize that the biggest freeloaders in this house are your own nephew and niece! Drake doesn't have a job until his wedding is over (unless one counts moaning and griping while enjoying shit that his BFF has paid for, his job (oh...wait...maybe that's why "Constantly Complaining Freeloader" was listed as a job description in his Italian Restaurant scene lmao)). The other biggest freeloader is your niece, who didn't mind accepting money from Maxwell and then turned around and acted towards Bertrand like she didn't need his damn money that she was already using.

• Also for the amount of complaining Leona has been doing for her own niece's wedding she might as well have not hosted them at all. You took the responsibility, you made all the guests you were hosting do work for you and spent all your time mocking them for not having the kind of specific skillsets you grew up with. If you wanted to stay alone with your sister in this crusty dilapidated ranch where you probably don't even pay people fairly, you could have told Savannah to go somewhere else. Like Applewood. Or Ramsford idk. You couldn't even save the saddle your niece would have wanted for the wedding, and if that's not a pointer to what a failure you are, Leona, IDK what is. So maybe stop acting like you're better than the nobles and keep quiet.

• Bianca states that she has never depended on the Crown yet somehow left behind both her children whose well-being was largely being maintained from the Crown coffers???

• But also given the response to Liam I have a feeling we might have a flashback from her next chapter. While she doesn't appear as angry as her sister, there is definitely an underlying bitterness there that I think the narrative might explore before we leave Texas. Idk.

• Bartie Sr focuses his attention on us again, insisting that he is like a father figure to us. You can either firmly refuse (my favourite option), express pride in House Beaumont (which pleases Bartie Sr no end) or be polite (in which case Liam lets out a cryptic "how generous of you" aimed at Bartie Sr it one point, showing us that he's not very impressed. Hmm. Hmm.)

• Bartie Sr is being controlling again, complaining that the quiche is not an elegant main course and insisting to Savannah that she try whatever he is demanding for the wedding. He keeps saying "trust me Savannah, you'll love it!" as if he knows her tastes better than she herself does.

• Chuck tries to offer cake, and Bartie Sr in his eagerness to refuse accidentally tosses it over on Leona's clothes.

• That's kiiind of a breaking point with Leona, and to sum it all up, THIS happens:

Jess has seen and participated in utter chaos, okay. So for her to appear all flummoxed and say "it was...a lot", it really, really has to be a lot.

• My favourite parts have to be Hana and Liam thoroughly enjoying the food fight and finding it cathartic, because they're the two who most need to channel their repressed energies into that kind of catharsis. Drake and Maxwell don't feel this need as much as they do because they already have ways and opportunities to channel it.

• The fight allows both the nobles and the Walkers to meet on common ground - common enough ground that Bertrand can (if we choose) finally tell his father that he and Savannah can manage their own wedding, thank you very much.

• Funny how Bertrand is expected to stand up to his father and ensure that what Savannah wants is not ignored, yet Savannah herself never makes even a quarter of the effort that he does, in making Bertrand comfortable in her home. Why does Bertrand have to do all the work in this relationship? Why do I only see Savannah complaining when Bertrand is not doing things exactly as she wants them to be done, yet not even lifting a finger when he's the one who needs the help and reassurance? Perhaps the best option is if he becomes runaway groom.

• We get to give one (1) solitary fuck about the country we're leading when we're back in the bedroom after this whole skirmish has gone down.

• LI diamond scene! At a moonlit hot spring nearby. The scenes mostly include the mandatory admiration for the lingerie, awe at the scenery and once the sex is done, an exploration into family and children from the would-be parents.

Liam: Calls the MC a "twilight goddess fit for worship" as soon as he sees her with her lacy lingerie in the moonlight. If you've done those scenes, there's a mention of the Forgotten Falls and the Blue Grotto and how Liam has a penchant for whisking the MC away to secluded watery places. (Liam also mentions finding a matching pearl to the first one they got at the Blue Grotto, even though the writers have practically forgotten what has happened to that first one 🙄).

The MC can choose to either go fast or slow in the love scene, and afterwards, Liam wonders aloud whether all families are complicated. The MC can counter this, by telling Liam they can ensure their child never gets to the point that Bertrand or Hana have by ensuring the child has their space to be open about how they feel.

Caption: Spring Fling

Hana: The two women mostly admire each other in silence (Hana tells the MC she would simply like to look at her as the MC gives a twirl) and the MC suggests expanding the "sample size" of Hana's lingerie because Hana in the moonlight is a vision. Hana offers to massage the MC's shoulders, and speaks about wanting to get away from the chaos and check in on her. Hana wants to take as much of their alone time as possible to check if the MC is doing okay, which IMO is her way of maintaining a relationship - by giving her partner space to talk about how they feel, something she rarely had the opportunity to do. She also admits to how exhilarating the food fight was. Hana is playful and teasing in her love scene, and brings the MC to the point where she will beg for more.

Once they are done, the two speak about how being in this place is like being in a fairytale, and there's a particularly lovely line nestled in this bit:

I wished for storybooks with scenes just like this as a kid. Not ones where the princess got rescued by the prince or the knight...but where she found love and happiness on her own...and the freedom to embrace them.

It's...it's so beautiful 😭

Caption: Woodland Nymphs

Maxwell: Now obviously Maxwell has the most personal experience among the four this time, since it's his father that returned home, and it's his family that is now dealing with some tough, complicated questions. Some of that shows in this scene. It begins with Maxwell seeing the MC in her lingerie and confession he almost forgot she had them...which is a good thing otherwise he would never be able to concentrate on anything else. He speaks to her about all the things he loves about her and about their relationship - especially how much they make each other laugh. Underwater, the two let go of their restraint and make love with abandon.

The conversation that follows is the most important, exploring Maxwell's feelings about his father's return. He doesn't have a lot of memories of his father - most of it was from when he was very young, or from Bertrand's eyes. Maxwell is very happy that Bartie Sr has returned, and wants him to see how happy he is with the MC. He speaks of wanting to tell him about the social season, about marrying the MC, about his bestseller book. There is a cute bit where the MC asks whether he would tell Bartie Sr about the hippo tattoo and Maxwell seems almost terrified by that option. But overall, there is nervousness in his scene, and also hope. He definitely is invested in making his old man proud. Proving himself has always been a theme with Maxwell, and that need possibly will increase with the arrival of his father.

Caption: Blue Lagoon

Drake: Calls the MC in her lingerie in the moonlight, "art that should be in a museum". The two admire each other in their new lingerie, and then admire the scenery. Drake has brought the MC to the hot spring mostly because it was rumoured to be called "Makeout Point", and he's always been curious to see what the big deal was. The MC can point out the beauty and romantic potential of the area, mentioning that she can imagine a sixteen year old swooning if her high school sweetheart brought her there, "or a duchess, if her marshmallow brought her here". During the love scene, Drake likens her to a siren, the sex can either be rough or gentle and the MC can either take control or allow him to.

Towards the end, the two talk wonder how their child might be, who they would resemble. There's a bit of banter back and forth about how the world is not ready for their collective sass 😄 I think because Drake is the most comfortable with his own family now, that his conversations with the MC about family focus largely on his memories of good times, and on what their child will be like.

Caption: Spring Fever

• Why the hell are you guys ruining all that nice lingerie in water!!!

• After a few days, and presumably on the day of the wedding, Savannah comes to us, shocked and worried, telling us that Bertrand is gone. This could be either a fakeout leading to him trying to get something nice and romantic done for her, or his insecurities cropping up IDK.

• General Thoughts:

- As much as I'd LOVE for the twist to be that Bertrand has realized this marriage will never work and has called it all off, I know for a fact they won't let that happen. Either his insecurities have come to a head with Bartholemy's return and he needs time to clear his head, or he's gone all heroic and tried to get Savannah's saddle for her, which we then have to pay diamonds to retrieve.

- Some way or the other that saddle is going to feature.

- They'll have Bertrand do something heroic I guess so that Leona will FINALLY stop being a whiny asshole. And Savannah as usual? Will not even lift her little finger.

- I'm more worried about what Bartie Sr will be upto once he's back at Ramsford estate! Esp given that his controlling has already begun at an event as innocuous as a wedding. ALSO given that this man will be back in Cordonia!!

- We're obviously going to get more hints about our pregnancy in the coming chapter, that I'm sure we'll ignore coz we don't want to jump into conclusions like the last time.

- Hana's bonding scene with Bertrand reminds me a little of a scene in Book 2, where she speaks of how Bertrand reminds her a little of her father...in, like, a good way.

- If it turns out that Godfrey and Barthelemy were indeed involved in Eleanor's death, it will be the ultimate irony. It would mean that the present occupants of the duchies that were once undermining the Crown...are now their stanchest allies. Lucretia and Olivia's parents vs Olivia, Godfrey vs Madeleine, and Bartie Sr vs Bertrand and Maxwell. It would be a nice contrast.

- Istg if they try and make HAKIM AND JOELLE suspicious too I will literally throw hands 😡

- Jesus, the amount of retconning going on in this book. That scene would have lost nothing by making Bertrand the guy who was desperate to prove himself to his father and Maxwell the one who had mixed feelings. Having both of them overhear that conversation rather than one would have been fine too. But this is one in a looooooong list of things that the team is shifting around, believing no one will notice. Maybe I should just call this series The Royal Retcon from now on because there is more of that happening than actual babymaking!!

- I'm pretty intrigued by Liam's lukewarm reaction to Bartie Sr personally. What does he know. Why doesn't Liam tell me and why doesn't the MC ask!!

- Bartie Sr spends surprisingly little time with his own namesake, but perhaps I shouldn't be so surprised since Junior's own parents are hardly seen with him either.

- Next chapter is the wedding (if we can find the groom, that is), Savannah getting her dream entry (possibly if we pay the diamonds) and hints that we may be pregnant that will culminate in the big reveal at the end. Yay?

- I know I haven't gotten out a QT for Book 1 in two weeks but those past two weeks have been filled with lots of IRL stuff. Hopefully I'll get back to that soon.

- Until next week, folks!

#long post #trh quick thoughts #the royal heir #trh qts #king liam #hana lee #drake walker #maxwell beaumont #bertrand beaumont #savannah walker

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