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robocoplesb · 7 months

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YOU'RE THE GIRL THAT I WANT, nikki sixx. [ 03 ]

warnings: reader drinking, reader smoking, nicknames, female rivalry?, mention of using drugs, reader drunked.

author's note: i ask that you be patient with me when it comes to posting and requests. i'm going through a difficult time, but i'll try to stay active. good read, kisses<3

NIKKI SIXX (bassist): “we get closer after that, but no one knew that except us. only when vince and mick had already returned home, and tommy had gone out to buy something for us to drink or use, or even when he passed out drunk on the couch. those were the only moments i talked to her properly."

★

nikki sat next to you, the wave of cold coming from the floor of the porch step passing through his body. the wind that beat against you was light, but freezing. He looked at you in a mixture of surprise and confusion, staring at your shoulders covered only by the thin strap of your tank top and how his body didn't shiver even an inch from the cold.

"— looks like you're going to sleep here, kitten”

you quickly turned back to see your brother sprawled out on the couch, laughing at the thought that with a little push he could fall to the ground.

“— what did he take?" — you asked.

“— i don't know, but i think i want to take it too.”

you both laughed softly before silence fell over you. not that you minded, you just took another drag of your cigarette and continued looking at the empty street in front of nikki's porch. with him, it was different. not that he generally cared what people thought of him, but he wanted you to like him, not only as the bass player in your brother's garage band, so every time it was just the two of you, he approached and tried to get your attention. you two talked a lot about music, even if your favorite artists didn't look much alike, he discovered that you were an eclectic person, that was a little into the heavy and hard rock after spending nights discovering bands with your brother.

he would never admit that a lot of what you said in these conversations may have influenced just a little what he wanted to do with the band, but he thought that even if you were a girl, you knew what you were talking about. he also left some flirtations in the middle of conversations, which you laughed and ignored, taking as a joke.

but when nikki sees you like this, cigarette between your lips, green and yellow street lights illuminating your skin and no trace of you going to continue the conversation on your face, he feels pressured. pressured to do it himself. because, besides the fact that he simply wants some validation from you, he thinks he can't bear to keep staring at you like that, even though it's a pleasant sight.

“— so... it's a good name, right? ‘mötley crüe’..” — he started, trying to bring up a random topic. in this case, the name of the band, which had been decided today.

“— it's fucking good. i've never seen a name like that before. mick is definitely a being of light sent to guide you, because i swear i would never let my brother play in a band called christmas.” — you laughed, remembering the stupid name Nikki had considered earlier.

“— it wasn’t ‘christmas’. and it was a social critique, lee!” — he said defensively.

“— it's still pretty bad, cutie.” — you smiled when you saw him chuckling with the nickname. “— but seriously, it's original. no way of a band ‘mötley crüe’ not be successful. the syllables sound like fame. m-o-t-l-e-y-c-r-u-e. see it?”

he knew it was a joke, but he saw sense in what you said. he thought it was cute how you believed in the band. you went with them to look for vince, you watched all the rehearsals and sometimes nikki even let you take a look at the lyrics and give some suggestions for the songs. you were actually following them like a fifth member of the band, and he knew it was because of tommy. the first thing he noticed, you would do anything for your brother, but you would never admit it.

“— really, you're pretty good. the only thing i would change is the vocalist whore girlfriend-”

nikki held back a hysterical laugh. he didn't totally hate vince's girlfriend. of course, she was petty and liked to spend her time putting the rest of the band down to highlight vince, but damn, she was hot. unlike you, who hated her with all your strength. you've lost count of how many times you've held yourself back from hitting her in the face, but you know it was a lot. usually, when vince brought her to watch rehearsals, you hid in the kitchen and drank while listening to the muffled music. well, you had a mutual hatred.

“— ah, she's not that bad-”

“— she literally tried to fuck tommy last week!”

“— wow, he's a lucky man.." — he laughed as your hand hit his shoulder, scolding him.

“— god, men are so desperate” — you sighed as you threw your cigarette on the floor before squeezing it under your shoe, putting it out.

“— you will really deny she's pretty?”

you blushed at the question. “— you are really saying you wanna fuck the daddy's girl who says you're not good enough for her boyfriend, who is literally on the same page as you?”

“— jealous, kitten?” — he asked you with a mischievous smile.

you rolled your eyes. “— for the guy who would even fuck a mannequin as long as it had a pair of legs?” — you said as you stood up and walked to the kitchen. nikki passed the room before following you, taking something from his backpack.

when he caught up with you in the kitchen, you were mixing vodka with liquor, two things he had no idea were in his fridge. you noticed he kept both hands suspiciously behind his back as he waited for you to finish your drink.

you drop the two bottles on the table and bring the glass to your lips, swallowing the bitter taste of alcohol with ease.

“— what you got there?”

he laughed and walked to the table, facing you. he leaves a small package on the table and looks at you smiling.

“— for you, gold dust woman.” — you rolled your eyes at the nickname (that you didn't understand, but he didn't interfere, because besides being a good song, you knew that asking him to stop would only lead nikki to call you that as if it were your name) and offered him the glass. he took a sip as he watched you unwrap the wrapping.

you ran your fingers over the plastic, automatically recognizing the cd titles just by the covers. you smiled, wondering why nikki sixx, of all people, would be giving this to you. you quickly realized that he was probably sticking to what you said in your conversations, or it was too much of a coincidence that he chose your two favorite albums. you looked at him with a smug smile on your face.

“— you bought this for me, bassist?”

yes, he did.

“— no.” — he answered quickly. “— my...huh...i went to a friend's house and he said he would donate some things. i brought these for you. it's your favorites, right?”

you thought it was cute how he bothered to lie even when the cds looked untouched for how new they were and had the store sticker on the back.

“— yes, they are.” — you smiled genuinely. It took you a while to consider nikki a nice guy. at first, you thought he was nothing but talented and desperate for a job. after a few early mornings like this, you liked him. not like tommy, who sometimes acted like he was a god, but definitely liked him.

you soon understood why you allowed yourself to get closer to him. he was the first person who seemed to care. you didn't loved music because your brother was into it, and he was the first one who noticed it. he was the first to hear you monologuing about records and artists and didn't take it as some passing interest.

★

you felt your back hit the soft mattress, automatically relaxing onto the bed . nikki, who carried you bridal style to the bed, dropped your gift on the side dresser and looked at you again.

“— comfortable, kitten? want another pillow?”

“— noo...ah, this bed feels like heaven.” — you moaned at the pleasure of your muscles relaxing as you stretched out on the bed, truly looking like a kitten.

your drunken voice was obvious. you drank that entire glass while babbling random things to nikki, hearing him agree with everything while laughing. he thought you had enough after you almost fell over while hugging him, thanking him for the gift for probably the fifth time that night

he nodded and turned, showing that he was going to leave the room. that's when he felt your hand grab his wrist, feeling your long nails gently scratching the spot. you pulled lightly, making him involuntarily take a step closer to the bed.

“— where are you going?” — you whined.

“— to sleep. i’ll stay on the couch with tommy.” — he smirked and tried to move away again, being stopped by an even stronger pull on his wrist, this time making him fall on the bed.

“— tommy is like, aaaaaall sprawled out on the couch, you'll never be able to squeeze in there with him.” — you said slurred, struggling to keep your eyes open.

“— is this your excuse for not saying you want me to sleep with you, princess?” — he said while stroking his own shoulder that had hit the bed too hard.

you laughed and blushed. i mean, nikki is pretty sure he saw you blush. his cheeks already had a pinker tone than normal because of the drink, but he's sure it got a little stronger.

he wished he had gotten closer. he could only faintly smell the drink. he wished he could smell you. he wished he had run his fingers through the curves in the length of your hair. he wanted to touch his lips to your face. he didn't understand why, but in that moment, the first time he felt comfortable with the silence between you, he wanted to touch you.

but he didn't.

he watched the way you slowly accepted the sleep. his eyes closing as he listened to your murmurs getting quieter and quieter. you were even more beautiful when you slept. he’s never seen you so relaxed before. is angelic, delicate, untouchable.

and when he thinks he's falling asleep, sad because he'll only be able to see you when he wakes up, it's you he dreams of.

“ i need an easy friend

i do, with an ear to lend

i do, think you fit this shoe

i do, but you have a clue.”

— about a girl, nirvana.

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ronearoundblindly · 1 year

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Hello 😇 I'm not sure why but heart would MELT upon seeing Steve giving Precious some of ⛑ oooooor Ari and his girl getting/giving some 🥰 Hope you're doing well - and no pressure (those scenarios already live rent-free in my head)

(Steve and Precious will be posted separately and linked back here when it's done, but I got too excited because I pretty much just eased myself to sleep by writing this...Enjoy!)

Ari Levinson x best friend!reader

Post-Nightmare Cuddles, a Bedrock and Blueprints drabble

Warnings for mild suggestive language. WC 620

It’s been a long, long time since Ari had a nightmare.

He’s not sure how he managed it. Perhaps work and personal things just took over his mind for so long that thoughts back to life in the military were kept at bay. Perhaps he ate something too spicy tonight. Who the hell knows.

You certainly don’t. You don’t know because you’re not in bed when Ari jolts awake covered in sweat and shivering.

He fixed the A/C a week ago and you both have been basking in the frigid glory, piling blankets on, using it as an excuse to snuggle up close skin-to-skin, but not now.

It takes him a long minute to catch his breath. He can’t tell if he shouted, if he made any noise at all, or honestly, if he’s even in the place he thinks he’s in because it’s dark and he’s disoriented and alone. He sleeps over, but none of Ari’s stuff is in your house. His one set of clothes on a chair to his right is the dead giveaway.

He tries to call for you. Nothing comes out of his vice-gripped lungs, so he tosses the bed layers aside and fumbles around the not-quite-familiar layout until he approaches the living room light, squinting.

He didn’t hold back his heavy footsteps, and you’re huffing before looking up from your laptop.

“I’m almost done, I swear. There’s just one thing I—“

The instant your eyes land on Ari it’s as if a completely different type of bomb goes off, something silent but no less devastating.

You don’t close the laptop. It’s haphazardously tossed to the opposite corner of the couch and the throw across your lap drops to the floor.

You’re in his arms lightning fast, and Ari’s just…grateful.

He drapes the full weight of his arms over your shoulders and back, resting his chin on your head, taking in how you’re there and real and warm compared to the empty, cold air everywhere else. He heaves out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and feels lighter, more human, almost magically.

He’s grateful still when you don’t ask him anything else. You just squeeze him gently and run your hands across his bare back, letting him breathe, making him live.

Finally, when his heart rate slows a little and he shifts to kiss your forehead instead, his beard soft and scratchy all at once, you give a sweet little tap to his butt.

“Let me just turn this stuff off. I’m right behind you, okay?”

Ari hangs on for a few more seconds before releasing you and shuffling back down the hall. He hears the snap of the laptop and click of the light switch prior to his foot even crossing the bedroom threshold, and you hustle in so fast that you both pull back covers at the same time.

You follow his lead on getting situated, Ari choosing you to hold him now, on your sides, your arm beneath his head, his face nuzzled to your chest, and your leg thrown over his hip. His top hand roams your waist and back for a minute as you feel everything around slow. His chest rises less and falls farther, his arm gets heavy and stops. Your own heart beats like uneven clockwork, lulling him into a softer pace of reality.

It can be reality, he thinks, and not be a nightmare. Those aren’t his only memories.

He can see the good ones more clearly when you’re here though. You are the good memories, and you’ll be in his good dreams, too.

Ari falls back to sleep with your fingers gliding through his hair, happily smothered in your sleepy comfort.

from this game of "Comfort My Characters."

Thank you for asking!

Taglist: @supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @yiiiikesmish

[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

#ari levinson fanfiction #ro answers #ask game #ari levinson x reader #ari levinson x you #ari levinson fluff #ari levinson fic #bedrock and blueprints #ari levinson drabble #best friends to lovers #best friend!reader

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david-talks-sw · 9 months

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"the Warrior, the Princess & the Peasants"

Hidden Fortress (1958)

The Akira Kurosawa movie that inspired the structure and some of the character dynamics in the first Star Wars film. The main characters are:

Matashichi and Tohei, the two serfs whose eyes most of the picture is viewed through, Princess Yuki, an uppity young aristocrat on the run from the authorities, who constantly bickers with Toshiro Mifune's battle-hardened general Rokurota.

Star Wars (1973)

In the original concept of Star Wars, the dynamic stayed similar, although more characters were added to the mix.

But you still have the two droids, C-3PO and R2D2 (deriving from the peasants in Hidden Fortress), Princess Leia (loudmouth aristocrat on the run from the authorities), and Luke Skywalker (a battle-hardened general).

As drafts changed and plot details shifted, Luke Skywalker became the young protagonist, the general character became Obi-Wan Kenobi (whom Toshiro Mifune was originally considered for).

It's not a one-to-one copy, but there is clearly an inspiration. And when you look at the posters at the time?

Still Luke, Leia, 3PO and R2.

The Phantom Menace (1999)

As already discussed here, in one of the early drafts of The Phantom Menace, Obi-Wan is the one who rescues the Queen from Naboo and finds Anakin on Tatooine. Qui-Gon only comes into the script once the gang gets to Coruscant.

But in this early draft, Obi-Wan is an experienced warrior, who pushes the envelope, eliciting the complaints of princess Queen Amidala (the aristocrat on the run). When on Tatooine, the two "low-ranking" characters are still R2, this time with Jar Jar Binks.

Eventually, for multiple reasons, Obi-Wan was made the Padawan and Qui-Gon was put in early in the script.

(Fun Fact: before this change was made, there was a draft where Obi-Wan stayed the elder, Qui-Gon was made the Padawan, and then Obi-Wan gets killed by Maul and young Qui-Gon takes on his name, going on to become Alec Guinness' Ben!)

But be it Qui-Gon or Obi-Wan, the warrior in The Phantom Menace is no longer a general with rank authority, he's just a diplomat.

The only reason he's able to do things "his way or the highway" is because 1) he is headstrong and 2) Padmé is undercover and doesn't wanna give it away (as if Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan hadn't already noticed...!)

So here we have an interesting reversal of roles: in Hidden Fortress (and kinda in the first Star Wars film), the Princess is the chaotic hellion who must be reined in by the warrior, who's always screaming:

"Princess, ffs! Stop wandering off, they're actively looking for you!"

Here, the warrior is the one going off-book and the Queen is like:

"Stop this at once, you cheeky fellow! We're on the run!"

Finally, as covered in this lengthy post about how The Hidden Fortress informs us of the Jedi's standing within the Republic, Lucas makes it clear that he alternates between projecting the "peasant POV" archetype on the Jedi duo and Jar Jar & R2/Anakin.

There is no clear protagonist in The Phantom Menace, you just have four main characters: the Jedi (who are two separate characters, but functionally are basically one single character), Padmé and Anakin.

All of this to say that just like the themes, these archetypes also echo each other in more ways than one, and it's intentional. As Lucas puts it, it's like a symphony:

"I’m also doing very stylistic ideas, things that are very musical in terms of how I develop themes, and repeat themes. I go do the same thing over and over in certain areas to echo what I have done before. It’s like a symphony more than a movie." - Star Wars Insider #35, 1997

"I'm approaching these films, for better or worse, like a symphony. I have a lot of themes that I keep repeating over and over again through the whole thing. Different notes and different instrumentation, but when you see all six movies together you'll see that there's a lot of recurring notes being played. [...] And it’s done on purpose. And it’s also done in different facets." - Star Wars Insider #52, 2000

So yeah.

Just some fun similarities and tidbits I noticed, figured I'd share.

#the hidden fortress #akizuki clan #Princess Yuki #Princess Leia #Queen Amidala #Rokurota #Luke Skywalker #Qui-Gon Jinn #Obi-Wan Kenobi #star wars #akira kurosawa #George Lucas #bts tidbits

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things-erin-likes · 7 days

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I know this is wildly different from my usual art posts BUT I have wanted to make it for a long, long time, because I love sharing any knowledge that might help someone else. SO...

If you (A) don't want to spend more than 1 minute on your face routine, (B) don't want to completely change what your face structure looks like with makeup to have a consistent skin appearance and/or (C) have cystic/nodal/regular acne that just doesn't go away no matter what people tell you to do,

then I give to you:

My One Single Product 1 Minute Makeup Tutorial For People Who Don't Wear Makeup

In which I bravely show you my face to illustrate

Before and after on one of my "best" skin days:

It's very likely this is common knowledge for a lot of people BUT I wish I had known it when I was in my teens and struggling with a severe skin condition I thought would eventually go away and never did.

[TLDR: It's a concealer stick that matches your skin]

No, having a skin condition doesn't mean you need to cover it. However, that doesn't mean it can't still hurt your self image, confidence, and relationships with people who give you unsolicited comments on it (because you want to throw them out the window).

SO HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED:

A concealer stick, my preference being Covergirl's CG Smoothers. They're non-comodogenic and somehow seem to help with my acne, maybe just because covering it helps me not pick at it.

Now, I am the pastiest, whitest shade of white, so I use two shades: "Fair" for my face, which has more of a pink hue, and "Neutralizer" (wheeze) for my neck because it gets even less sun than my face, and is both paler and less pink.

You might be able to get along just fine with one tone if you don't get acne on your neck and chest or have a more even skin tone, but the most important thing is to get the shade that matches your skin tone as close as possible.

To do this, either look in a mirror in the most natural light you can find and hold up your hands and arms until you find a spot that matches your face the closest, then compare the makeup in the store to this. OR.... Just bring a little mirror with you to the store.

STEPS:

1. Start with a clean face. (Wipe your face with a wet cloth if you haven't washed your face already that day)

Optional step 2. Put on a little moisturizer if your skin dries out and flakes, like mine does. I'm allergic to my cats so I use a medicated cream in place of moisturizer lmao

3. Swipe the concealer directly onto red spots, scabs, or bumps, and rub it in with your finger making a soft halo that blends in with the rest of your skin.

...and that's it.

You don't have to do your whole face. You're only adjusting the parts that stands out so they blend in and leaving the rest alone. Some days I cover a few spots, other days it feels like my whole face.

It can't always completely everything, but it makes everything much less noticeable. The shape of scabs may still be there:

It won't cover freshly bleeding wounds well, either... But it will cover the red skin around it:

Like with any makeup, always remove it before you go to bed!!! With makeup remover or a cleanser! Cheap, unscented makeup wipes work great for me.

So yeah, I'm 30 and only just now started finally seeing improvement in my own skin because I did my own research and asked a doctor to try treatments for hormonal acne instead of all the antibiotic approaches, meaning I'm on spironolactone and thus also a mandatory birth control. But hey! It's something.

Having control over how my face looks helps my confidence and self image, like controlling how my hair or clothes look. I don't feel like I have to wear it any more than I don't have to wear my hair short, I just like it that way.

I also hope that this might be able to help guys too, or anyone else who feels like they're not "allowed" to wear makeup but still struggle with the look of their own skin, since the lack of any other product means you really don't look like you're "wearing makeup".

Anyway, long post over, time to flee 🏃‍♀️

#makeup #tutorial #concealer #acne #cystic acne #nodal acne #no makeup look #no-makeup look #acne cover up #my face #acne tips #makeup tips #makeup hacks #“ok I've waited years to do this I'm finally gonna take the pictures” boom acne clears up for the first time in years

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storiesbyjes2g · 3 months

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3.71 Derailed

When we got to Chi Chi's, Karmine hadn't gotten home yet, and I was relieved. She was a sweet kid and all, but man could she talk. I probably wouldn't have made it out once she cornered me. Ha, and now that she was a teenager, she probably had even more to say and gave Chi Chi a run for her money. Bless that child. I left from there and went immediately to Gilbert Gardens, feeling only 8% guilty that I didn't stop at Dad's. He would ask great questions and try to help me talk through it, but this was something I needed to do on my own. Sophia and I had many discussions about the future, and I sensed the urgency to seriously consider our next steps, especially since she had been prepared for quite some time. I was too, in theory, but that was the problem. My next move needed to come from the heart, not from panic or pressure. I wanted to make my request confidently, with a clear conscience and a pure heart.

A man I'd never seen before interrupted my thoughts. He looked pretty young, maybe fresh out of high school. His super light eyes struck me, and I halfway believed they were real. Gray wasn't an unusual color, but they seemed to glow against his dark skin.

"Excuse me," he said. "Sorry to bother you. I'm Wade."

"Luca. Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, same here. Look, this is my first time here, and I have a few hours to kill. Would you mind suggesting a few things to do around here?"

Ah ha! He was a tourist. Of course, I didn't know everyone in San Sequoia, but I usually saw the same sims everywhere.

"It's your first time in San Sequoia?"

"Yeah."

"Cool. Well, welcome. I love it here. Hoping to move back soon. But sure, I can help you out."

"Thanks! I appreciate that."

So much for my thoughtful walk. Did I really need it, though? I loved Sophia. Everyone loved Sophia, and I already considered her my family. When I thought about the future, she was all I saw. She and the rest of our family. What was there to think about? It's not like I needed to decide if I wanted to be with her forever. I just needed to do it. There was no such thing as the right time, and knowing Sophia, I didn't need to craft an elaborate plan. Just ask, and let the chips fall.

With that out of the way, my mind, and calendar, were free to help this guy. He was fortunate to approach me because he wouldn't find a bigger fan of San Sequoia.

"Actually, I have some time," I said. "I could show you a few of my favorite spots, if you want."

Those super bright eyes of his seemed to glow even brighter.

"Would you? That would be incredible!"

"Of course. How long are you here for?"

"Just for the day. Gotta catch the evening train."

"Where to?"

"Brindleton Bay."

"Oh, nice. I've never been, but my mom used to live there."

Wade shrugged dismissively.

"It's an okay place. I'm originally from Henford, and moving to BB had it's challenges. I posted a video about it on my SimTube channel."

"You're on SimTube? That's kinda crazy because I just started a channel. What are your videos about?"

"Some of them are personal vlogs, but I also do a series listing the top things to see in different towns. Maybe I'll do one about San Sequoia. What about you? What are your videos about?"

Wow, this guy seemed heavy into SimTube. He probably had thousands of followers and made all kinds of money. Maybe we could stay in touch, and he could teach me a thing or two about growing my channel.

"Uhh, heh, well, I've only done one so far, but I'm a yoga instructor. I do simple routines that anyone can follow and learn. So, I take it you travel a lot?"

"Not as much as I plan to. I've only covered Henford and Batuu so far. I'm currently working on one for Brindleton Bay, but like I said, the place is going to take some getting used to. The entire town smells like fish!"

"Eww. Really?"

Mama didn't talk about her single life much, but I think I'd remember her saying her city smelled like fish. I'd have to ask her about that.

"I think most places have their own set of challenges, though," I continued. "Like, I recently moved to Oasis springs. I love how it's warm all the time, but man is it dusty!"

He threw his head back and let out a hearty laugh.

"Dust might be just as bad as fish!"

"It might be! Which is worse: a constant bad smell or feeling like you're dirty all the time?"

Wade was so animated and fun to watch. My question made his face wrinkle up as if the whole world suddenly reeked of fish.

"Okay, you win! Filth is the absolute worst!"

His outfit was so sleek and fancy, it was clear he liked things neat. He also looked pretty fit, so I knew what our first activity had to be.

"You workout, Wade?"

"Most definitely! Gotta look good for the ladies, right?"

"Absolutely!"

We vibe'd well, and I liked him. I bet he'd be really fun to party with.

"Nah, but seriously," he said, "my dad's obsession with fitness has rubbed off on me. Oh, and you can call me Dub. Most sims do."

I grinned at the thought of us becoming friends.

"Okay, Dub. You ready for a scenic run?"

"I stay ready!"

Your eyes have not deceived you. THEE Wade "Dub" Banks from @mysimsloveaffair's The Banks Dynasty is in the building! Thanks so much for letting me borrow him and spark this amazing friendship.

If you don't know Dub, check out her story! It's one of my favorites.

Also...I guess him meeting Luca officially puts aDOLTing in the Pierson Cinematic Universe! Dub is Kai's oldest son, the one who climbed with Nate on Mt. Komorebi.

#ISBI challenge #sims 4 story #sims 4 gameplay #adolting #adolting gen 3 #luca winston murillo #wade banks #banks crossover

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recurring-polynya · 3 years

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Do I mind if I ask how you approach writing longer fic? I've always struggled to write anything more than maybe two chapters long and I'm curious if you have a particular method to how you approach such stories.

Thank you so much for this ask! I absolutely love it when people ask me for writing advice because it makes me feel like a Smart Person Who Knows Things.

Before we start, here is one grain of salt to take all of this with: I have a naturally long-form brain. It is very hard for me to write something less than 1k. Short fiction is great, and there is nothing wrong with sticking to short things if that's what your brain likes to do.

So. You have decided to write a story. This is going to focus on "stories". Some people write fic that's more freeform or whatever, I am not going to cover that. What I mean by a story is this:

It starts

Some stuff happens

It ends

It is highly probable that your story contains a change of state, which could be that a villain is defeated, or a goal is reached, but it could also be that character falls in love with another, or someone learns to like broccoli.

I like to start out by completing the sentence, "This is a story where _______". This is basically like coming up with a summary for an ao3 post, except that it doesn't need to be catchy. Lots of different kinds of things could go in that blank! It could literally be what happens: This is a story where Ichigo goes back in time and punches young Aizen in the nose. It could be about what you want to explore: This is a story where Hitsugaya gets a better understanding of his zanpakutou. It could be about the vibe you want to achieve: This is an AU where everyone is in a punk rock band and has cool hair and outfits. The idea of this is to clearly define what you, the author, is interested in writing. Make sure it feels right! Maybe you pick the first one, but when you say it out loud, you say, "You know, I really just want Ichigo to go back in time so he can horse around with young Renji and Rukia and punching Aizen in the nose is just an excuse for that." That may sound dumb, but it's fine, actually! Most people don't read stories strictly for the plot, they read stories for the implications of those plots! Will my favorite two characters kiss? Will there be funny interactions between these two groups of characters? Will there be sick fights? Stories are excuses to have scenes. Sometimes, you will have a story where the interesting sequence of events is the draw, but the point is to know what you're about.

Once you feel happy with your "mission statement", you need to decide the bounds of your story: where it starts and where it ends. It may be easier to start with the end. In some cases, it may be obvious from your mission statement: everyone gets home, a villain is defeated, Kenpachi realizes the meaning of friendship. On the other hand, let's look at that punk rock AU. You've picked a vibe, but you don't really have a natural story arc. It has to have a destination, though, otherwise, it's not really a story, it's a recipe for 3 chapters of an abandoned fanfic. So brainstorm a little: Maybe they get a record deal? Maybe they win a Battle of the Bands? Maybe Byakuya accepts that the band is actually good and tells Rukia he is proud of her. Do not settle for a plot just because it works. Pick something that makes you excited! You're the one who is gonna have to write it!

I said that we needed to pick a beginning point, too, but I'm actually going to skip that for now. The next thing I do is think of all the Big Scenes I want to write, the ones you are hype to write, the ones that pop in your head as you think about the premise. Make a bullet list. They don't need to be in order. The descriptions don't need to be super detailed, but write down anything about it that is important to you. If there's a mood or a snippet of dialogue or a joke you want to make, go ahead and jot that down so you don't forget it later. What you're doing now is putting broad blotches of color on a canvas, filling in space and leaving the detail for later.

Once you are pretty happy with what you have down, try to arrange it in chronological order. Put your end at the end (if it wasn't one of your big scenes, add it now). The next task is figuring out how to traverse your scenes. You've already picked out where you want to spend the majority of your energy. The rest, I regret to tell you, is your slog writing. Now, it often happens that you will find joy in some of these scenes and your best writing may occur there, but that's serendipity. These are the scenes that you are gonna have to make yourself sit down and write, so you honestly want to limit them to just the ones you need.

So how do we do this? Look at the first thing on the list. Can you start there? If so, congrats, that's your beginning. If you can't, what needs to happen to get to there? Where can you start so that you can get to your first fun scene as soon as possible? There. That’s it. You’ve picked your beginning, good job! Now, go through the rest of your list, and add in things that must happen, even if you don’t particularly look forward to writing them. The characters need to travel from geographic point A to point B. Shuuhei needs to say something that Izuru hears and misinterprets. The Central 46 makes a new law. If you have a good idea of how these things happen, go ahead and write them down, but it’s okay if you don’t know yet. Fill in all the blanks so that if you think of each bullet list as a scene, you could read it as a story, start to end. Once you get writing, you might add more scenes, or move things around or whatever, but you should have a thing that functions as a story.

If you struggle with this, an alternative is a story with a very strong structure that is going to guide you though what you have to write.Here are two examples from my own stories Hold On, Hold On (which is only one chapter, but the principle is the same) is structured around the 5 stages of grief. Not Broken, Just Bent takes place over roughly a week, and I just decided what happened every day of the week. See You on the Other Side takes place in the middle of a bunch of canon events, which worked at mile markers.

Congratulations. You’ve just made a rough outline!

Special note for avoiding burnout!: I am a slogger. I will drag myself through the broken glass of an interminable plot to get to a single thirsty scene. That's why, at this stage, I try to look at the ratio of what I want to write to what I must write. It's gonna vary for everyone, but this is a hobby, and if looking at this proto-outline makes you feel deeply tired, maybe this isn't a good story to be devoting your time to! Can you carve it down? Can you chuck two scenes you really want to write and get rid of 80% of the slog? Or maybe you can't! In that case, just write that thirsty scene as a standalone drabble! Or just go work on something else! Maybe in the future, this one will come back to you and you’ll have a fresh idea or a renewed enthusiasm for it.

Another thing I sometimes like to do at this point is to write out some notes about my characters and their motivations and moods. Character A is homesick. Character B is so determined to defeat the enemy that they are having a hard time being sympathetic to Character A. Character C cares for both A and B and is trying to support them both. This is sort of background info that you want to keep in your head as you are writing. Depending on the type of story you are writing, this might actually be the main plot, or it might be happening subtly, but adding to the emotional impact of the story. It’s very easy for me to write these sorts of emotional arcs, but if you struggle with that, you may wish to go ahead and made a more detailed outline for that, too.

Now, it’s time to start writing! I am great at beginnings-- it is very often the case for me that the opening scene was one of my Big Tentpole Scenes. (Before you hate me too much, I make up for this by being double horrible at endings; just let me have this) Usually, I will start at the beginning and write linearly for as long as I can until I get stuck. Then, I will look forward on my outline and do the next chronological scene that I feel like writing. In general, if I sit down to write and there is something I have an urge to write, that trumps everything else. Inspiration is a precious commodity, and you should embrace it when it hits! You can slog any day. I will occasionally hold off writing a scene that I really want to, because I am saving it, like a prize for myself for getting that far. This is a very personal process of figuring out what motivates your brain and then giving your brain what it needs to be its most productive.

Eventually, you will run out of things you are excited to write, but the good news is, you’ve got a bunch of story now! Odds are that what’s left is going to be a lot of those connective tissue scenes, and you’re just going to have to do them, except that now, because you’re connecting two concrete points instead of two abstract points, it will be a lot easier. You can continue running jokes you’ve started. Maybe you invented a cafe in an earlier scene where your characters hang out and you can have them return there. Try to think of ways to make these scenes more fun, both for yourself to write and for your reader to read.

Around this time, I like to start refining that rough strokes outline into what I will call an “as-built” outline. (This is an engineering term where you update your plans or models for something to reflect any changes that had to be made along the way). This is a great activity to do at times when you feel like you have writers block. I write down every scene I have written as a 2-3 word blurb, in order. I break the scenes into what I think makes logical chapters, and I will do a word count on those prospective chapters and write it down. As you do this, you will realize that maybe you can move a scene from here to there, which will make it 1000% easier to write. Things may be happening too much, or you’ve got the characters eating three times in the same chapter. If you have subplots and dangling threads, this is where you make sure they get closure. I know this sounds very headache-y, but you are so far along in the story at this point that it’s really not-- it’s a way to look at the problems you have left. Use some sort of formatting (I like to bold things I haven’t done and sometimes I put them in red) and it gives you a very visual to-do list.

You specifically mentioned multi-chapter fanfics and I admit that I don’t tend to think in chapters, I tend to think of the story as a whole and just break it up where it feels natural. The as-built outlining I described is very helpful in making sure that my chapters feel balanced. They don’t necessarily need to be the same length, but I like them to have the same amount of stuff in them. One chapter may basically contain one long scene, and other may contain many short ones. I don’t tend to, but you can certainly have a fanfic that varies between short and long chapters, that can actually be an interesting effect. But like I said, I always like to know what I am doing, and so having it mapped out, you can say “welp, this is what I’ve done, how do I feel about that?”

Polynya, you may be saying at this point, do you write the whole fanfic before you post any of it? and I regret to inform you, the answer is yes. A lot of people write as they go, and I have made one attempt at this and I didn’t like it. I don’t like locking myself in, I just need to be able write out of order and go back and change things. Here is the story of a little in love: someone gave me an AU prompt and I got mildly obsessed with it, and wrote 5 snapshots drabbles in that universe, ending with a slight cliffhanger ending. I probably should have stopped there, but I decided to keep going. I wrote out an outline of 5 acts where the first act was detailed to the degree of each chapter being specified. The chapters here were much smaller than I usually make chapters: 1-2k. I wrote act i and ii and it was actually great, and then I hit act iii which required a lot of set up for misunderstandings and a mini romance arc. I couldn’t wing it, but nor could I figure it all out with outlining. I write dialogue in almost sort of an improv “Yes, and...?” style, so until I do it, I don’t know what’s going to happen. So, what I did was treat the second half of act iii as a complete story in the process I describe above, wrote the entire rest of it, and then posted it. One might notice that the chapter lengths grew to 3-5k each. I have two more acts to go, and I haven’t decided how I am going to do them yet, but I suspect I will treat each of them as their own mini-stories.

(I will admit that in Heart is a Muscle, I tend toward chapters that are about 10k long, and this is honestly too long, someone should smack me. If you like punchy chapters, 1-2k is good. I think 3-6k is probably an ideal chapter length. Is this how long the chapters are in my latest fanfic? Absolutely not.)

Okay, so there’s one more step, which is quality control. I am habitual re-reader-- I read my fanfics-in-progress over and over and over while I am working on them. I understand that not everyone does this, but I am usually the primary audience for my own writing, and this is the actual fun part for me. Nevertheless, you should re-read your work at least once, to make sure it hangs together.

This is purely optional, but I recommend it: get a writing friend (if you don’t like re-reading your work, I recommend this even more strongly). If you can get a full-service beta reader, that’s great, but if you can’t find someone, or if receiving that level of critique stresses you out, it’s perfectly valid to just find a friend who will read your stuff and a) shower you with compliments, b) reassure you about parts you aren’t sure about (or suggest ways to help) and c) point out any huge problems you missed. When I am writing a long fanfic, it is a huge motivational factor for me to be able to send my beta chapters as I finish them. If you are already an established writer, and you have people who consistently comment on your fic, they might be overjoyed to get a sneak peak at your work.

And that’s it! That’s the way I do it, anyway! Some people are able to sit down and write a very detailed outline and the write it start-to-finish. Good for them, I say! I have tried this and it doesn’t work great for me. I will admit that some of my fics (especially my early ones) I just sat down and banged out whole-cloth like an insane person and they are generally better than the ones I actually plan out, but that’s not a reproducible process.

As one final mechanical note, I usually write in Google Docs, which I can access on multiple devices (I used to write a lot on my phone), has convenient sharing functionality, and I use the ao3 html formatting script add-in. I generally have two documents for a single story-- one is the outline, and any other notes I want to have handy. I’ll usually put a trashcan space at the bottom for scenes that got cut but I don’t want to lose. The other is the fanfic itself.

I hope this is helpful! Please feel free to follow up with other questions and good luck with your writing!

#writing advice #longform writing

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skullchicken · 3 years

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On the 30.04.2021, Meinhart Bonifaz Brant, at that point an unassuming spindly 15-year old human reading Stanislaw Lem's "Star Diaries" on the living room couch, goblinized into a giant. About 50 years later, he would go on a few adventures under the street name "Alberich" (you see, it's very funny because he's not a dwarf).

In honor of goblinization-day, I'm compiling all of the art and (hopefully entertaining) stories I have of mah boi and the chicago shadowrun-group - so these are going to be some long posts. Everything under the cut so I don't clog up your dashboards and cut up into chunks. If you don't want to see it, blacklist "goblinization".

Part 1, the first mission:

So, why is Alberich? When I joined the shadowrun-group that would start my obsession, my english conversational skills weren't that great. Mostly trouble finding words and having a really thick german accent. Since I was a bit self-conscious about that, I decided to instead lean into it. Thus Alberich was a german-born ex-museum director turned shadowrunner since he did a Very Stupid Thing and had to leave the Allied German States for Chicago.

What did he do? He made a deal with a dragon. Specifically, he sold a forged piece of art to Lofwyr, CEO of Saeder-Krupp.

Alberich was introduced into the already formed group something like this: "At the entrance of the building, arriving punctually, you spot the biggest troll you've probably ever seen, looking very uncomfortable to be here and slinking as much as is even possible. All in all, he somehow doesn't look very threatening. In fact, he looks as if an art teacher had been stuffed with a 3 meter/10 feet tall horned giant. His face lights up as he sees you, though."

So the first thing he does is shake everyone's hand, politely assuring them that it's a pleasure to meet them and yes, he is Alberich, and who are you? Ah, yes, lovely names, very creative.

For reference, this is the average shadowrun-group:

Speaking of which, the gang's line-up did change a bit unfortunately, but the ones that stayed from beginning to end were:

Speedrun, street-samurai. An adrenaline-junkie who has styled himself after anime. Very much trying to be cool, to the point that he has adopted a deep-sounding voice that's rather obviously not his natural speaking voice. We pictured it as him talking with his head on his chin. Here he is, trying to impress the fighting adept shere khan:

Elf_Queen, decker and elf-poser. An elf-poser is someone who tries very hard to be elf-like - in her case, she wanted to actually *be* an elf. She ran away from home since her parents were metahuman-racists (Humanis policlub). Notably, her online and offline persona were very different. Online, she's very assertive and the guild leader of an mmorpg. Offline however, she's pretty much scared of anything. When Alberich joined the group, she hid behind Speedrun - you don't live with humanis for that long without picking up some xenophobia as well. And trolls aren't well-liked in the game world.

So the first mission: De-kidnap a kidnapped singer called Jericho. First we took a look at the bus-line she had last taken, a task for which Elf_Queen had to jack into said bus. Only three problems: A) She had to get behind a metal covering inside the bus B) her character sheet is min-maxed to hell and back, thus she has ONE measly point in strenght. Which wouldn't be a problem since she's in the presence of three pretty strong dudes if not for C) Massive Social Anxiety.

After looking around like a wet bunny for 5 minutes, Alberich (who has also cramped himself into the bus) finally catches on and goes "... can I help you, little lady?", pops the cover open and she can get deckin'. You might call this strike 1. You'll see why.

After visiting her appartment and some more investigation, we gather that Miss Jericho has been taken away into a bunraku (think brothel but with more brainwashing) to be re-programmed to the liking of her ex-boyfriend whose band she left to make it on her own (and quite successfully so). Which means we'll have to deal with Yakuza.

The bunraku turns out to be disguised as a night club. After I tried and failed to casually infiltrate the place (... I... er... wasn't a very good player at first?) we had to flee forwards, take out the guards at the door and make sure we get in and out of there as soon as possible.

In the club, almost before we made it backstage, Elf_Queen got held up by a guy bent on talking to her and froze up. Well, at least until Alberich very casually bent over the two of them and informed the guy that "she's with me". I tell you this, because this was strike 2.

Backstage, past a kitchen and into the cellar, we finally got into a room with two rows of plexi-glass cells - and in the middle, a bound spirit, a thing that feeds on negative emotions. Our muscle (Speedrun and Baba Yaga - yes, we had a John Wick in our midst. And yes, Alberich technically doesn't count as muscle, he's a mage. It's complicated) were outside, fighting off Yakuza. So it was up to EQ to hack Miss Jericho's cell open as quickly as possible and for me to make sure she wouldn't die while doing so.

After like three rounds of unsuccessful banishing (as I said... not a good player), the cell was open. But...

But.

There were the other victims.

What about the others?

Now, when I thought up Alberich, my core idea was "Daryl Whitefeather and Don Corleone having a mental fistfight". I tend to play good characters and this time around, to honor the setting I set out a morally grey character, someone who mostly looks out for himself and only indulges in kindness when he has the luxury to do so. Being kind and polite, if you think about it, is really just usually the easiest and most pleasant way to get people to do what you want. And if people are convinced you're scary by nature, seeming less so is just a smart survival strategy.

But then he looks at this little socially anxious nerd, who very much reminds him of himself, when he used to be a little socially anxious nerd, long, long ago and she says with big eyes "please! can you give me a bit more time? We need to save the others! We have to try!" and it's just... strike three. He's taken the little decker into his heart. So internally he goes "welp, I'm old anyways" and externally he shrugs his mana-burned shoulders, sighs "okay" and keeps trying to banish.

Unfortunately the spirit almost eats him alive. EQ fails to open any more gates, so they make it out once he as but 2 life points left, run into the elevator and evade the fast approaching small army of Yakuza on the way out.

Elf_Queen jumps into his arms, Alberich holds her like one might hold a chihuahua, Baba Yaga is trying to gauge their time and speedrun's reporting back from outside.

In the end, it was bittersweet. Because while we did save Miss Jericho, the brainwashing still took hold. Her last 1 1/2 years of life wiped away, she asked for her ex-boyfriend as soon as she woke up.

End of Part 1, thank you for reading this very self-indulgent text!

#shadowrun #goblinization #troll #mage #shaman #decker #baba yaga #john wick #cyberpunk #ttrpg

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idjitlili · 3 years

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Hello there.

Kili x reader x obi-wan(slightly)

(Not my image)

Summary: Annoying the company with your 'sword' pretending it's not a metal sword, being unladylike. When in fact it wasn't a sword...it was a lightsaber.

Word count:6036

Warnings: Obi-wan , language, food stealing, dwarf nudity, put some clothes on!

Y/h/c= Your home country.

It was no secret, that you weren't from middle earth, with your strange speech, strange references, oh and the simple fact that you had fallen from the sky knocking Kili right out. Not just Kili but yourself before. You would've been quite embarrassing; if you were awake. Lucky you.

When you eventually you did awake, you were surrounded by below average height men , and man with a grey hair and wizards hat. One of the smaller men? Or dwarf you weren't sure if this was even real, it was strange to see such shorter men. His hair dark, shoulder length, not styled well compared to all the others, as for his beard..it was just stubble. The other men had long braided beards.

Yet there sat this man, very different to the others , barely with it, like he had hit his head, there you felt it , your head felt like your brain was going to pop out. You noticed , a smaller fellow jumping behind the small man to see, his curly blond her upon his head, was all to be seen.

The man that looked right out of a wrestling ring, glared at you , judging you, as did the one with ocean eyes and majestic hair. You hands behind you in the dry dirt, your heart beating heavily, shaking almost. "Uhm, w-what is h-" you didn't even get a sentence out before you were interrupted by the beardless short man.

"Well you fell out of the sky and fell on me, knocking me straight out." The man was not quite happy, "uhm, I guess I'm sorry? I didn't plan from falling from the sky, I'll try next time to see where I'm falling, but oh right, I never consented to be thrown from the sky, last time I was conscious I was- actually I do not remember." Blabbering on, even though really you should be terrified.

In the end , Gandalf and Thorin questioned you, as if they were Holt and Terry, Gandalf being Terry.

"Where do you come from, human?" The mans face frowning, the same as he had as you awoke, he spoke with sternly, as if you were a threat. Extremely intimidating. Now the others had left ,as you now sat in front of the two men.

"Uh, y/h/c." Their clothing didn't sit right with you, nor did you ever see anyone with such extreme hair styles. Maybe it was a cult? The old man , and the slightly younger man looked at each other , then back to you , clearly confused, well the younger one anyways.

"Tell me dear, have you ever heard of Erebor?"

Thus, for whatever reason you were apart of this dwarven company, as it were. No one was sure what in gods earth caused you to be here, well there's no 'God' in middle earth, not called God anyways.

Honestly, you didn't know what to do with yourself: no blankets, no spare clothes, no nothing except you , your thin graphic t-shirt, jeans and shoes. Thorin was definitely no help, oh yes and no money. Who would accept plastic notes as currency here? Nor were coins from where you lived were made from gold.

Oh wait you did actually have something other than you and your clothes , you had tiny little sword, which was in fact just an letter opener, you must've been opening the post before you fell out of the sky.

Not only was it awkward between you and all the dwarves, you did not fit in. Oh yes, Gandalf explained to you that elves and wizards existed, basically explained everything. Thorin had decided this was the place they would rest for the night, so you didn't have to do any travelling... except from falling out of the sky.

You could only think, it must suck to shit squatting, oh yes you'd have to face shitting the forest soon enough... without toilet paper too. It is not even like you can be certain that no one is going to walk into the forest and find you shitting or even worse no pads bleeding out.

You were definitely not looking forward to that, since there was no confirmation that you'd be getting home anytime soon.

So, now as the day grew dark, you sat against a large rough pine tree, the cold from the ground rising up your body. Knees pulled right up to your chest, your arms tight around, as goose bumps covered you like paint covers a wall. Hair dropping down your face as you leaned forward head on top of your knees.Staring at your feet, and the ground.

You thought on what your family must think, maybe it was like the labyrinth and they had forgotten that you had even existed. Bloody hell, Jareth, you didn't even wish for this to happen.

Not breaking out of thought when three pairs of boots, and a pair of overly large hair feet, were stood in front of you. "Lass?" Even then, you didn't realise, only noticing their presence when a hand was placed onto your shoulder.

Only then did you realise, looking up to see the the beardless man that you knocked out, somehow, another man with a hat , the other below average height man that looked like lion cross Seth rogen , and the jumping small fellow. "O-oh hi?" Strange that's the only way you could put it, the two brunettes grinning largely down at you.

"Excuse their bad manners, my lady. That is Kili, my brother , Bofur, and this little fellow is Bilbo Baggins... Oh right, and I am Fili at your service." Each of them doing a little bow, Bilbo's face redden a little , being called little. What did he expect, 'Oh yes, this giant fellow with the fat ass is Bilbo.' Them staring at you waiting for you to introduce yourself.

"Uh, I'm y/n." Standing up , daring to do a small curtsey, with a small blush, surprised really that anyone had even approached you.

"Beautiful name, perfect, I guess I'm falling for you already, miss y/n , you know since you knocked me out."

You almost blushed at the m-Kili's words, now blushing in embarrassment. "I didn't me-" "he's only messin' with yer, lass, don't yer worry," The hatted dwarf know as Bofur had smiled at you, only to get a jab in the side by kili, only for him to return it twice as hard.

"I'm sorry, miss y/n? I'm just wondering about your clothing-" Bilbo had began to questions your clothing choice, only to be interrupted, bad manners? Definitely. "Yes, those pants are very lovely, can you do a spin-" "OI," A big muscly man, the one that had glared at you earlier had smacked the beardless dwarf on the back of his head, letting out a Yelp of pain.

"What I was going to say, before I was rudely interrupted was, are you not cold? You are barely dressed!" You had choked out a snort, at the hobbit , who had glared at Kili, he really did not like dwarves interrupting, well anyone, he's not racist.

"I'm not dressed? You've got no socks on! My mum would have scolded me, even if I just got out of the bath. 'Y/n, where's your socks! You are going to get ill! Y/n, I don't care if you have just sat down, go get your bloody socks on.' " Starring back at you feet, now stretched across the mud, it was incredibly awkward, well until they had started laughing.

"That's just like our Amad, right, fee?" Kili had called to his brother, before sitting down on the mud near you. "Oh yes, remember when Amad told you not eat all that cake-" Looking over to Kili who's face flushed red, interrupting his brother.

"Don't you dare." Bofur , Fili and Bilbo sat down, you sat in a circle, Fili trying to hold back from laughing. "Well ye gotta tell us now,Fili." Bofurs hand supported his head eager for Fili to continue. Bilbo the same, he loved stories. Kili's pleading eyes, were no match for his brother.

"Alright, so he ate all the cake, this stuff was heavily creamed, sweets covered it, it could feed 12 dwarves, that's saying a lot. Our Amad strictly told us, mostly Kili, not to eat it."

Fili's moustache braids jiggled as he talked, very distracting, letting out a small chuckle while talking a breath. "Anyways, Amad woke up in the morning, she was not happy at all, she had yelled so loud, that me, Kili, and Thorin were awoken from upstairs. All three of us rushed down the stairs, to see the table with no cake, just the plate. Amad stood there with her face redder than a smacked bosom, hands on her hips."

Kili face now in his hands, Fili grinning larger and larger by the second. " She had looked all three of us done, before calling Kili towards him, and it was dreadfully obviously his hair had cake crumps throughout it, he got scolded so bad."

"Is that it ," Bilbo was disappointed with the outcome, he had thought it would've been more suspenseful. "No master Baggins, Thorin later took us for training with Dwalin as well as many other viewers. Basically what happened was Dwalin threw him over his head and he landed on the floor, when he finally tried to stand up he let loose the loudest wet fart. Then, he stood up and the back of his pants were covered, and out the ends of his trousers... he had to walk home like that."

Bursts of laughter had erupted through the circle, Kili just looked horrified with his brother, placing your hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up to you, with a sad smile.

"Don't feel bad, someone I knew yawned up to the sky and a bird shat in her mouth, to make matters worse she was afraid to tell anyone so she spat it out, and stood there with bird shit taste."

Looking at you wide eye, "T-they did what?"

"A bird shat in their mouth."

"Such crude language, yet suddenly I feel much better." Kili smiling up to you, the other three still laughing about Kili's shitty pants.

A friendship between you and the dwarf ,you knocked out, began. Over the months you had gotten more comfortable with the company.

Soon enough you were all captured by trolls, but you were sleeping so, you woke up and everyone was packing to leave. You were very confused indeed, Thorin had announced that you all were leaving for a troll cave.

Gandalf had merged after Thorin with two swords , calling you and Bilbo over. Wow, free stuff.

What Gandalf had not expected was your behaviour later on at Rivendell... Bathing and changing at Rivendell, eating some rabbit food, it was soon time for second dinner and after that bed.

Roaming the grounds of Rivendell the next month, you had bumped into Bilbo. That's when it started, you had already been messing with your sword. When Bilbo had approached you, seeing your cheeky grin he didn't know whether to run.

"M-morning ,miss y/n?" Speaking uncertain of himself, partly nervous, you had been pretty unpredictable, you know falling out the sky?

"Morning ,Bilbo! How are you feeling?" Swinging your sword in like it was baton or baseball bat, almost dropping flat on your face.

"I'm fine , thank you. Uh..." The sword now between your legs, swinging it around. "Bilbo look, it's my cock." Bilbos face now red, your crude language tended to fluster the poor hobbit, sorry the rich hobbit.

"Miss y/n, I do not think that's quite appropriate.." You head snapping towards the hobbit, your face dropped, instantly Bilbos mouth is gapped. "Oh- I didn't mean any offence." Taking a step forward, Bilbo had stepped back , another and another.

Bilbo had ended up sprinting , you chasing him, well until an elf had offered you pastry's. Continuing your walk around the grounds, munching on your pastry, distracted by your breakfast you didn't notice the dwarf in front of you until the last second.

"Where's your trousers?!" You had made eye contact with something other than his eyes, it was painfully obvious. Meeting his actual eyes, the smirk on his face, concluded that he had seen you check him out, flushed pink cheeks.

"Fili took my clothes."

"Why would he want to see you running around naked,-cover up gosh!" Your voice getting higher by the second.

"Well, my lady with what?" You had thrown your pastry at the dwarf, now quite put off; even though his size was quite large. Instead covering himself he began to eat the remaining amount of the pastry.

You had scoffed, walking around the dwarf, away from his naked body.

What did catch you off guard again was a man popping out from a pillar , his longish hair blond, his eyes ocean blue, his beard trimmed, his shirt beige , with a brown leather belt around his waist. You didn't know how to describe it, you jumped when he spoke.

"Hello there,"

How could be here? In a land of dwarves, elves and wizards? It was Obi-wan Kenobi, surely he should've been in the high ground? I mean, chopping some legs...so Anakin is leg a less, because his legs Aragorn.

"General Kenobi!" Kili had to turned around, to see you running at a strange man, who was General Kenobi, turning back round he had stomped off back to the company... to gossip.

"What are you doing here, Obi-wan?" His arms held behind his back as you two walked through Rivendell together, the truth was that you had never met before.

"I'm here because of you, y/n...the Council has sent me to help you. The universe is in great danger, again."

Then, you found out your real purpose was in middle earth; to save the line of Durin, With Obi-wan Kenobi as your master you as the pad awan. However, of course you did not have the force, he was just going to teach you how not to be damsel in distress.

You didn't know how this would bring you so close to the Jedi knight..

Obi-wan, had hid until half a day from Rivendell, when you had gestured him to come out, Kili had let out the most over dramatic gasp possible. "I told you he was real!"

That definitely caught the attention of the whole company, stopping, turning , drawing there weapons, Fili pulling you out the way.

"Why are you following us?" Thorins voice boomed over the winds, you couldn't imagine how your eardrums would certainly burst if he had a microphone. Getting of the grips of the dwarves again, standing between Obi-wan and the axes of the company.

Little Bilbo just watched the slope of the mountain with amusement. "What are you doing, y/n?!"

"You stubborn dwarves, if I was walking with him with no fuse, you'd think that he was with me, he's here to help me." Kili had scoffed, nor did any of other dwarves look convinced, Obi-wans hands on his hips, puffing his chest, revealing his lightsaber.

"I've had enough, I don't care what you say Thorin, he is my protection, he's not taking any of the reward, now let's go, he is not the enemy." Maybe you told a small lie, it would not go down well if Thorin knew Obi-wan was there to protect him and his nephews.

"At the front, both of you, now." And you were walking again, you and Obi-wan at the front.

Though, all together you were from three different universes, you from one which starwars was just a set of films, and series. It felt weird. Knowing he died, old, and he didn't look himself.

"Wait, so, Qui-Gon basically died of STDs, because he so many that it slowed him down? I thought it was a rule not have attachments; but he could sleep around?" I mean, if that's the case... you are very handsome, I'm not the best looking, nor have I ever.."

Your face felt hot, that was more than light flirting, really you had only known him for 27 hours, your crush on him though, that developed from watching him on screen.

Now concentrating on where you were going, surprised when Obi-wan had let out a laugh.

"My lady, you must be mistaken, you are absolutely beautiful." Your face flushed pink, wrapping your arm around Obi-wan's arm, his eyes watched you as you did, not hilding hands or anything just his arm. There are times in life when words are not needed.

Soon enough it was time to stop, when the company approached a large path on the mountain, so big that the company could sit in a circle if they desired. Along the way many of the dwarves had collected sticks and branches for a fire.

Right against the mountain wall you had set up your bed roll, and dropped your cloak from the elves on it as a blanket, you were sure to remember to share with Obi-wan later. Obi one had copied you, dropping his cloak neck to yours, as you both stood next to each other, the sky now dark, the smell of dinner lingered in the air.

The glow of the fire lit up Obi-wan's face, his beard now more orange, his blue eyes focused on you.

"Hey, um, Obi-wan...can I hold your lightsaber?" His hands on his beige tunic, eyeing you down, one of a second, before handing you the weapon.

The lightsaber, heavy in your hands, yet still you were swinging it like you were playing tennis on the wii. "Um, Obi, can I please..?" Turning to face the Jedi with pleading eyes, he just shrugged his shoulders casually nodding.

With that you had pressed the button, there stood the blue blade in front of your very eyes. Bilbo had noticed almost immediately spitting out his food, who in their right mind would give her a weapon?

Noticing Bilbos sudden uncomfortableness, grinning at him, as the saber made its way between your legs. "Hey Bilbo,Check out how big my dick is!" Bilbo had put his bowl of food down, and his behind Thorin, brooding.

"Uhm, lass? What is that?" Bofur wearily, spoke, eyeing the saber not blinking,like many other dwarves. Balin flinching as you waved it between your legs.

"It's a lightsaber, the weapon of Jedi's. Hey, Kili, sorta looks like your dick ,if it was a hundred times smaller. " Not that you were looking at Kili, his face flushed as he chocked out his stew, Thorins eyes burning into the back of the head, he would speak to him later.

"Oi, when did you get a look at Kees , lad?" Fili wan most amused at the situation, Kili knocking him in the ribs.

"Well , what happened was I got a pastry at Rivendell, and Kili almost whacks into me. Yeah, and he was naked, so, not that I like to give away food, I throw the pastry at him and Obi-wan appears and saves me. End of story."

Now swinging the lightsaber like it was a golf club, you wondered if Obi-wan had to charge his lightsaber. Kili now standing up , walking over to you as the dwarves forget about the story, simply because it wasn't rare that they went around naked.

"Oi, Kili , throw that stick at me, so I can hit it."

Kili had planned on telling you a piece of his mind, how his dick was not small, but there you were not a care in the world, waiting for him to pick up the stick.

His eyes searched the stone floor when his eyes catch, a thick stick not a twig. Without a thought he threw it, your eyes waiting, standing like you were going to play baseball or rounders. Swinging your arm slicing through the stick, causing it to slam to the floor in two separate pieces.

"I'm sorry, but what in middle earth is a Jedi and why do they have that, what even is that!"

Obi-wan just stood by you chest puffed, huge smirk on his face, as Kili ranted slightly , fear embedded in his eyes as he stood back as you swung the weapon around more, it was not surprising that the company were also in slight shock.

"This man is a Jedi." Pointing at Obi-wan before turning fully towards him, ignoring the others questions. "Okay, now teach me, master..." A grin across your face, as Obi-wan took the saber from your hands, turning it off, before standing behind you.

Turning your back into place, your feet in the correct stance, his back against yours as ushered you take your sword from his hands. His hot breath briefly against your neck. Once you had done, his back peeled from yours, and he had done the same.

Throughout the next months, Obi-wan had continued to teach you how to defend yourself

, Kili always disagreeing on Obi-wand methods, suggesting he would be better to teacher you.

That was until you were all captured at Mirkwood. Of course, Obi-wan tried to use the force on the elves, however , due to being immortal they weren't easily controlled. Somehow he did it still, only allowing you and him to escape, due to being human. What you didn't understand though, why was Obi-wan such a flirt.

The blond elf, the one that looked straight off like a princess, had stared at you and Obi-wan with his eyebrows raised. His light foot steps, couldn't be heard as he glided towards you both, standing close to Obi-wan, as the dwarves were search. Legolas excluding you two from it, using the side of your body to hide the lightsaber at Obi-wan's belt.

"Why are two humans travelling with dwarves?" Was this elf wearing tights? David Bowie could get away with it because that ass and overall god looks, but the colour scheme on this blond elf was not it. Wondering if his dick could even breathe, maybe it shrank.

Looking at Obi-wan, who was smouldering at the elf, his lips slightly pushed out his blue eyes sharp, his long hair flowing. But..there was no wind. His hand doing a weird gesture like waving.

"We are not, we are trying to get lake town, as I have finally decided to meet my darlings parents. You will let us go." You were surprised when Obi-wan had wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you close to him. Your eyes wide, you really didn't think you were going to get out of this, how many times had you all been captured? Too many times.

"Go, follow the path, goodbye." Obi-wan had quickly let go of your waist , talking your hand, pulling you away, false smiles on your faces as you left. Trying not raise suspicion, Kili had watched the whole thing, scoffing in disgust, watching you and Obi-wan walking away.

You wanted to help the dwarves you really did;but Obi-wan had assured you they didn't need your help. You both waiting in the safe forest outside of the woodland realm, waiting for the dwarves.

Not only had Obi-wan had taught you basic defensive skills, but you had became extremely close. Here you were, stuck in a forest, no bedrolls no nothing, due to Azog. Nights were cold, so cold, as Obi-wan's duty to protect you, you both decided for your survivals there was only one way.

The fire low, so that you would not be detected by Orcs, Obi-wan and you snuggling up together, his arms around your waist, knees tucked under yours. Body heat being the only thing from stopping you both freezing to death.

During this week, what disturbed you the most, was Obi-wan's french accent...Considering there was no earth in the star-wars universe. If that matter you weren't sure. He'd pop the accent out at random moments, going to bathe in a stream?

"Do you need a chaperone, mon amour?" No, he did not go in the water with you, he just stood guard, holding his arm out to walk you to the stream and even back. Though you did have to wait by the stream while he was bathing , with his lightsaber in your hand, just in case.

However,one day when you you were bathing Obi-wan had almost had a heart attack when you let a gasp, running out of the hair all across your face, running smack into him. Your bare body against his robes, soon as he made eye contact with you he knew it was nothing life threatening.

"When I said 'You don't have time to be timid, you must be bold and daring' this was not what I mean." Obi-wan's stuck to yours , reassuring your privacy, even though his back was against the mud , your whole body pressed against him. Again with the accent, Obi-wan's smile small, your hands against his chest, as laugh erupted from your mouth.

"What is, Ma Cherie?"

"Only reason I'm laying on you butt naked is because a fish brushed against my leg." Obi-wan's once sincere face replaced with a grin you snuffled your laughter against his neck. Your cold skin against his , as vibrations travelled through his body, a laugh from his lips travelling to your ears. A few minutes passed, with you just against Obi-wan as you laughed together.

"This would be very embarrassing ,if the company found us now."

"I'll close my eyes, and you can go get dressed,"

That was it with that, Obi wan would never disrespect your modesty, it is not like when Kili had shown off on purpose.

The next day, you had caught up with the company and an injured Kili. However, the french accent was not lost...

Kili's faced laced with sweat, as you and Obi-wan made your way to the compan, his eyes met yours. He felt relieved that you had came back, yet anger still bubbled down in inside.

"I thought ye had left us." Bofur popping up infront of you two, his eyebrow raise.

"No, figured from I heard about that king , it was not the best if he had got a hold of Y/n, it is my mission to protect y/n." Bofur , along with Gloin, Dori and few others nodded in agreement.

Your eyes drifting from Obi-wan's face, back to Kili, his thigh seeping with blood,you had grabbed Obi-wan by the hand pulling him over with you towards Kili. Obi-wan meeting your eyes once again, confused with your actions. "Obi.. help him."

Letting go of your hand, Obi-wan had brought his hand over the wound, Kili tried to protest, only to be shut down by Fili. Kili felt tugging on his skin, the pain slowly disappearing, a few seconds late Obi-wan had remove his hand, stood up, made his way back to you. "W-what? H-how did you?"

This is what you and Obi-wan were sent here to do, save the line of Durin. After that, not even seconds Bard had arrived, the company was on their way again, no delays, except being caught by the master, which kind of annoyed

Obi-wan, getting to be called that without being a Jedi , disgraceful.

After that, it was one more boat ride away, and climbing more mountains. Within three hours , you feet began to blister, the knocks harsh, you wondered how Bilbo could do it, he was a happy chappy. Obi-wan next to you, had immediately picked up on you change. His eyes caught onto yours like a magnet, within seconds you were on his shoulders, hanging. Just like Anakin had carried him unconscious, he could've carried you anyway way but he decided on potato sack really?

"B-Ben!" The little shriek had erupted from your mouth in surprise, in reality it sounded like he had just made you orgasm. Your face flushed, as Obi-wan grip tightened around your thigh. "Yes, Ma Cherie?" Again with Obi-wan doing the french accent, letting out a groan.

"Never mind." For the next three hours you are carried on Obi-wan's shoulders, you couldn't imagine how his back feels. There's no negotiating with the negotiator. Your stomach ached from just being on his back. You did get to sleep for a while, which was great.

“Obi, I can walk now." Your face next the side of his face, softly speaking to him. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." With that you were back on the ground, walking with the rest of the company, though you didn't speak to many of the other dwarves much, you found yourself away from Obi-wan and in the company of Fili, who had left the company of his brother. Your conversation had started out normal, Fili telling you about the Elves, and Bilbo saving them.

"Are you courting the man?" Eyes widening at the dwarves words, it was no doubt that you had liked him watching him on screen, but no way he had made advances, had he? He could not, it's not the Jedi way. Why did he flirt with you all the time. As you two grew close, you felt you chest tightening, you could feel that way. Just months ago you had felt the same for Kili, but then Obi-wan had appeared.

"No, why do you ask?" Your face felt hot, unbearably hot, embarrassed that you had been clearly flirting back to Obi-wan.

"It's just that my brother... don't know if you have noticed he has been not himself, and well I think it's because of you and Obi-wan." Fili whispered to you, you could barely hear him, but when you did make out what he was saying, why would Kili not himself because you and Obi-wan, had you offended him some how?

"What do you mean? Why would it be our fault?" It was not appropriate but a chuckle still left his lips, Fili could not understand how you could be so blind.

"You and Obi-wan flirt publicly a lot..." Then it hit you, the reason Kili could barely look at you anymore, you had not really ever have someone like you let alone possibly two. Blush upon your cheeks, "Oh.."

"Now, you must understand, y/n , if you don't feel for him, you must put him down, do you love Obi-wan?" Turning you face back to look at Obi-wan, who had been watching his steps, as he talked to Bilbo, who seemed to be deep into conversation. When Obi-wan's blue eyes had finally caught yours, his lips had turned up in a smile, before you turned back to the blond haired dwarf.

Fili's moustache braids jigging, as you all walked, waiting for your response.

"Jedi's aren't allowed attachments; it would never work out."

“Do you love him?” Repeating the same question, how could you know if you loved him, why would it matter it would never work out, Fili clearly didn’t want his brother heartbroken because you couldn’t decide.

“I d-don’t know, Fee,”

“Do you love Kili?”

“Really, Fili, I don’t know.”

Fili, had suggested to speak to Kili later, what if you only loved Obi-wan platonically?

Once Thorin had stopped the company for the night, and when the sky was dark. Only the glow of the fire upon your faces, Fili had left his brother on a log, making eye contact with you, gesturing for you to swap with him. Sitting upon the rough log, thighs touching, Kili had turned slightly jumping when realising it was you, his brown eyes now looking to yours with the flame of the fire reflected into them. His face with no expression at all, he didn’t even say anything to you. A string of pain, flowed through your heart, you hadn’t realised how you hadn’t spoken to Kili in months, properly anyways.

You had wrapped your arms around Kili neck, your cold flesh against Kili’s neck, as you pulled him into a tight hug, slowly he had accepted it. Wrapping his arms around your waist tightly, his head in the crook of your neck, breathing in deeply, his dark hair, tickling your neck.

“I’m sorry, Kili.” Pulling away, Kili brows scrunched together, his dark eyes searching your face, he thought he had done something wrong, and was going you space, also think mostly that you and Obi-wan were courting. However, Fili had informed him that you were not courting, he wished he could scold his older brother, for being nosy.

“W-why?” He had been jealous of your behaviour towards Obi-wan no doubt about that, but you shouldn’t have to apologise for his feelings, you could like anyone you wanted, you are beautiful, bodaciously so.

“Because I haven’t spoken to you for months, it’s not because I don’t like you, it’s just...you promise not to repeat this to anyone, especially your uncle?” Kili knew it, you didn’t like him, but his uncle? Yuck, he couldn’t be mean to you though, you were nothing but nice to him. Instead he just nodded, with a small smile.

“Thank you..the real reason why Obi-wan and I were sent here, well is to keep the line of Durin alive, must have a big effect on all the universes otherwise, two people from separate universes would not have been sent. So, we’ve been keeping this secret, it’s been hard, that’s why I spend so much time with Obi-wan.”

Kili’s eyes never left yours, as you spoke, taking a deep breath before you continued on, you were scared for the safety of your friends, Thorin didn’t care what you were doing , because you and Obi-wan were quiet and kept to yourselves, he saw how effective in battle Obi-wan was and didn’t complain. He needed the man power, there was no doubt about that.

“If I am totally honest, I do love Ben, and if he was allowed to be with me, I wouldn’t be with him, it’s not the way of the Jedi. He is my best friend, that is a gentleman, I’m sorry, but his back must’ve killed carrying me like a sack of potatoes. Plus, when we were waiting for you... I was having a bath, he was on guard and fish brush against me, I went running, fell flat on him, that was definitely not a pretty sight for hi-“

“You what?” Kili was scared to know what you were getting and frankly disturbed that Obi-wan had seen you vulnerable. You had reached and gripped his, large dwarven hand, tightly, rough, yet so warm...

“ Doesn’t matter, he was very respectful. Anyways, what I was getting at Kili, is that.. I c-can’t live within you...I love you, not platonically either, I understand if you don’t feel the same for me. I wouldn’t if I was you.” Before you could blink , his soft lips upon your, your hands in you his hair pulling him close, his hands back around his waist.

You finally felt certain of something.

Bonus:

Kili was not the slightest happy when you accidentally cut a lock of his hair off with the saber.

“Hey, Ben, can I cut your hair too?”

“Fuck off, I’m the only Jedi left with good hair, you touch it you’ll become a baked potato.”

“Okay I’m sorry!”

“mon Cherie , I could never harm you, for I love you like a dog.”

“Oi, stop flirting.” Kili had interrupted, petting his burnt detached hair.

“He just called me a dog, that’s not flirting,”

#obi wan fluff #the hobbit imagine #the hobbit x reader #hobbit imagine #hobbit imagines #the hobbit imagines #Kili x reader #kili x you #kili imagines #kili imagine #kili x y/n #the hobbit kili #kili the dwarf #hobbit x you #hobbit x y/n #obi wan imagine #obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi #crossover

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scoundrels-in-love · 4 years

Text

If I go (if you ask me to), I'm goin' crazy (Let my darlin' take me there)

On the cusp between spring and summer, Jaime and Brienne say goodbye to a house that was never home.

In Winterfell, there is a fresh start ahead of them. (That's what they say.) At least for her. (That's what he doesn't say.)

Also on AO3.

There are two long knocks, a pause and two knocks again on the door.

Jaime bolts upright from where he's been lying on the lumpy mattress, the Knights of Westeros book falling to the side. (He had been flipping through it, half mindlessly, trying to not think of Tyrion as much as he tried to recall his brother's smile. It's faded, like the picture of Goldenhand the Just that peers up at him. Like the value in the Lannister name.)

There are three knocks now, a brief pause that drags out and boils down to one heartbeat all at once, and four more rapid knocks. That's when the mad scramble begins.

It shouldn't be as haphazard as it is - the little he owns (and even less he is going to take with him) is all carefully stowed away and arranged just for this, but as his knees hit the floor with an impact that sends pain through the limbs, it feels frantic.

Jaime removes the floorboard beneath the bed with too much fervor and it creaks, breaking the silence like whiny thunder and he freezes, wondering if lightning won't strike after, this time. Listens and hopes he won't hear any footsteps, fears Brienne's scream spearing through him if she's been caught.

It never comes and he pulls out the bundle wrapped in rags, peels them away to peer into the contents of the plastic bag beneath, just to double check. Spare, clean clothes to shove in his backpack, some non-perishable foods he has squirreled away from the store he works at part time. (Brienne would disapprove, if he told her. But silence let's her look away from that and also from things Jaime wishes she'd at least steal a glance at. Then he could hope.)

Finally, he dives as deep as he can beneath the bed and fishes for the tin can in the hole. Cuts his shaking hand a little on the sharp edge when he pulls plastic-wrapped money out of it, but instead of that pain, there's a sting in his heart.

To think he has to keep few paper dragons and stags like this, when Lannisters used to...

He stops midthought, reels his attention to more important things. There have been many things that had been true once. There have been even more things that he had thought to be the truth. He thinks it's what you make it, these days. And he has to make his now.

Jaime puts the rags and board back in place, stuffs everything in his bag and moves to take a step, before he backpedals toward the bed and the nightstand beside it, the one that is always leaning away, as if the state of the bed disgusts it and it is any less dingy itself.

He picks up the book (also stolen, from the local library, but no one has even noticed it missing, he's sure) and forces it in the backpack that now won't zip up and hesitates, again. There is a matchbox in the back of the bottom drawer and Jaime knows it'll fizzle in the back of his mind if he leaves it. And it will smolder in his bag if he takes it.

He does it anyway, squishes it in one of the side pockets so it won't get ash and remnants of the photograph all over his stuff, just in case. His twin - them - have left enough marks on him as it is. (And he never did, for her.)

Just a year ago, he would've climbed out through the window, but now there is only searing pain in his right hand that cannot hold his weight and the inevitable loud crash in that direction, so Jaime takes the long road, through the corridor and down the stairs where every floorboard creaks, even when he steps close to the wall where they are less worn, for so many foster kids have used the exact same trick for years now.

But Roose Bolton has not been home for two days, and his wretched son seems to be gone as well. Jaime tries not to think of what Ramsay might be up to or what the Brave lot might attempt to out-trump him in cruelty. He isn't afraid, because he knows the slick warmth of wretched blood already and even the hand they tried to take from him is still strong enough to protect himself or Brienne, but he fears a delay might unravel their plans. (The look she gave him when he asked her to go ahead if he doesn't come to the oak within forty minutes of the signal had branded itself on his heart. Hers, hers not to abandon.)

In the end, he exits the house unnoticed. Still, the tension leaves sharper indents in his shoulders than the straps of his backpack as Jaime slips into the garden that has not known maintenance other than some furious and undiscriminate weeding of anything that grows as punishment for the foster kids.

He sees her peer around the oak tree and suddenly, there's no weight to him at all as he runs toward Brienne and then they are sinking to the ground, half to hide behind the bushes and half in relief that vibrates sharply around the edges. (It's just one step, one step that feels like a mile and hums of all the miles taken before it.)

Brienne's face is lit with bright determination, but even it casts shadows and he almosts asks, but later, later. Instead, he nods to her unspoken question and stands up.

There is just one good bye to say.

Jaime looks at the evenstar carved into the bark and smiles. This house doesn't get to keep anything more of them, only an indent left by hope they made themselves and then made real. His hand had hurt for days afterward, but each line had been a mark of his angry determination, a reminder that they can want more than they've picked up from carelessly thrown, often rotten scraps.

He had tried to add a lion instead of hearts or their initials next to it, but it had been far too complex and so Jaime had scratched the attempt out, furiously. (He tries not to look at it and think how symbolic it really is. Fails.)

Jaime places his palm over the star, asks for guidance one last time, though he's lucky enough to take his guiding star out of here and follow it into the unknown. (Fear of the unknown has nothing on walking the same patterns within your cage until your feet bleed, until the bone scrapes the dirt.)

Brienne's hand comes cover his own, large and warm, and callused, and he has never felt more grounded than in this moment. He tries to memorize this feeling as he meets her eyes, sees it reflected in the blue that has become the criteria to match up all other shades to in the last year.

And then they're off, weaving their way through the edge of the garden and onto the dirt road leading away. He doesn't look back. Everything he wants is walking right next to him, or ahead of her.

---

As they travel toward Winterfell, the cusp between spring and summer trickles through their fingers, leaving hot days and balmy afternoons in its wake.

It's not easy, getting by with less money than all the suspicious stares they earn along the way, though they become less frequent once the school year is over.

He half expects Brienne to eventually explain why that evening, why then and not a month later when high school diplomas, as unalike in their grades as the two of them are, would've been crumpled up at bottoms of their bags. But she never does. After all, there is a fresh start ahead of them. (That's what they say.) At least for her. (That's what he doesn't say.)

In unspoken agreement, they don't call Catelyn Stark the first week or the next, or any afterward. As if having the Starks coming to pick them up from anywhere else than their front door could make them change their minds.

He had thought it to be anger, red hot and tight around his ribcage, when she had told him Catelyn had recognized her as Selwyn's daughter and offered to help. That she had thanked and accepted the number, without jumping on the chance immediately. For coming back to this house for more than her bag.

And it had been that, in a way. Anger and desperation, and ache. To know she is safe and happy, even if on the other side of the country. Especially then, maybe. Because it had scared him, the campfires growing wild on the barren, littered beach inside of him, though even distraught, the oceans of her eyes could put them out.

It was that night that he had realized. Love meant the difference between anger contained and welts on someone's skin. And he had never been loved.

There is more to discover about love, still, and he has done almost every day since then. But never more than on this trip.

Some days, they both go more hungry than full. (He gives up on convincing her to take his share after the third time, but offers nonetheless.) Some nights, he whistles her lullaby under the open sky and curls up next to her, unable to steal minutes dipped in this peaceful warmth away from himself with sleep.

And yet, Brienne is often bright with cautious happiness these days and sometimes, it blows to this pure joy that he would never grow tired of watching, even if it would render him blind like the sun.

He does almost sneak away to call the number he has memorized as well as she has, in Moat Caitlin, ready to preserve that light even if it means their parting will be colored red with her angry blush. They're hungry and tired, and no one seems to want to give them a chance to haul some boxes around for a few stags. Their post-graduation adventure story isn't holding up much anymore, just like his shoes.

(He craves a smoke more than he’s craved it since the first month of quitting, but one implied promise broken is bad enough, so he grits his teeth and bears it.)

But when he enters a small family shop, in hopes to borrow a telephone, a different opportunity presents itself in the shape of Pia. His shaggy appearance doesn't deter her from flirting repeatedly, not even when Brienne follows him in and freezes in the doorway before approaching, and in half an hour, they've got an invite to stay for a while at her place, while her parents are visiting her grandmother.

The implication where he's sleeping are quite clear and he hopes his smile doesn't look as acidic as it burns across his lips. There are worse ways his body has been used in the name of love.

And yet, he cannot look at Brienne through the nice (he thinks, he can hardly taste it) dinner, there is sluggishness in him that spreads breath by breath.

Afterward, the hot water of shower feels too much, too much (like it had been over a year ago, when he had been just out of hospital and almost drowning in the bathtub before Brienne hauled him into her arms and back into life) and when doors of Pia's bedroom close behind him, he is numb and logy like his limbs aren't entirely his own. There may be a smile on his lips, Cersei liked when he smiled through everything she gave him, even when there was blood on his teeth.

She gives him one look and frowns. "No, Jaime, no. This... isn't whatever you think it is. I just thought we could have a bit of fun." Pia pushes him out of the room and into the living room, before hurrying off to bring him a blanket and an extra pillow and he just lets it happen, no witty quip in reach where he's hiding away.

"Does she even know?" Pia asks, lingering in the doorway after she's turned out the lights, and his silence in the darkness is an answer. "Well, she should."

"It's better if she doesn't, she won't get as hurt," He won't be as hurt if he doesn't know. The yes or the no and the very sweet, crushing uncertainty in between, or the softness of her lips and the glimpse of the ocean's taste in the sweatdrops on her neck.

"I doubt it protected her tonight," she says before walking upstairs and Jaime stays, sitting in the middle of the couch, buried neck deep in a blanket cozier than any he has known in years. That's where Brienne finds him the next morning.

"Jaime," she calls him as she kneels in front of him and he guesses, by her drawn expression and hand on his shoulder, not for the first time and he tries pull up a smile from the well reserved just for her, but the bucket falls off the hook, and he cannot do anything but lean forward and rest forehead against her shoulder.

"What happened, Jaime? Are you hurt? Did Pia..." she trails off, but he's already shaking his head. "No, nothing happened," he croaks and it grates on his tongue like the lie it is. But there's nothing that he can define or explain. Yet, she understands somehow and takes him to the kitchen, makes sure he drinks the tea and eats the food that he cannot remember later. And then she brings him to her bed and he thinks it to be so warm from her, though it must've been an hour since she got up, and that's where the rest of the day melts away.

When he wakes the next morning, he is crowded in the wall. She's facing him, her hand holding his in the small space between their bodies on the pillow. Jaime lays there watching her and the sun rises in him as it does beyond the windowpane.

He doesn't think he will ever be completely free of the void placed in him, emptiness that Cersei nurtured for it was endless space that sung in echo of all her desires, but in this moment, he knows he wants to build a fence around it, plant trees and little flowers that look brighter for the darkness that lays beyond them.

And that desire, he thinks, is the start to something that may shrink the void some day.

Maybe then, he can tell Brienne that she threw a falling star in the dark and when it wasn't extinguished, he realized there was an edge to it. Maybe then, he can build a home for her laughter, instead of fearing it'll finally break through the sky and escape him. Maybe then...

A million wishes hum softly when Brienne blinks sleepily at him, smiles faintly. He shifts his hand, to free hers, but her fingers tighten just so and he gives up immediately. (It's not like how he used to know it; she doesn't demand him to and the surrender is only for his own indulgence.)

"Looks like sleep did you some good," she says softly and brushes a few curls away from his face and he has to swallow thickly, not from desire for anything more, but the way the warmth and tenderness of her brings a flood of tears pressing against the dams he's determined to uphold.

"Oh Jaime," she murmurs and scoots closer and there are no more dams, just the ocean of her eyes that blur and overflow, in him and through him.

He buries his face in her neck, shakes apart until he's coughing and heaving and is only held together by her arms wrapped around him. Grieves all that could've been, all that has been broken, all that he will never touch with untainted hands, worships regret and guilt and then casts them out.

In their place, he anchors the weight of her hands on his back, the tickle of her hair against his forehead, the soft tremble of her inhale when he pulls back, breathing still uneven.

There's a tear streak on her cheek that he reaches to wipe away, because of course, she's hurting too and he-- But no, he cannot, will not take a new guilt on immediately. (He does, anyway.)

Brienne releases him then, gets up and brings some paper towels from the bathroom for him, because they're saving the tissues in their bags, and he blows his nose again and again. The silence between them should be uncomfortable, somehow, but instead of being embarrassed, he just feels dull and tired, but better for it.

"Fuck, my head hurts," he finally says.

"I'll bring some painkillers and water," she says, already halfway to the doorway and part of Jaime wants her to stay, wants to sink in sleep with her hand in his again, but instead he goes to the bathroom to wash his face.

"What are you going to do?" he asks the reflection that is familiar and unknown all at once, fingers tight around the sink. "What are you going to do?"

And finds the answer.

They leave Moat Caitlin almost a week later, truly rested and with almost-honestly earned food and necessities in their bags, thankful enough to actually plan to keep the promise to let Pia know how everything pans out in Winterfell when they get there. He knows Brienne will want to repay the money Pia has invested in them, if nothing else. Before they depart, their kind host tucks another "tell her" behind his ear, "because otherwise it's really not fair to the rest of us".

This, he cannot promise still, so he only smiles.

When they reach White Harbor, there is a stone in Jaime's chest, all the more heavy and jagged for the knowledge he will try to toss it out soon. He finds them a cheap trashcan of a motel and leaves Brienne to settle in, moves through the streets like the hounded, as if hesitating could mean he never goes through with it, or he just can't wait to get it done. (It's somewhere in the middle)

He stops only on a bridge over White Knife river, the nearest that he could find. The matchbox trembles briefly in his hand, like a flame about to be blown out, but then he presses close to the railing, and the quiver is gone.

Jaime opens it and dumps the content into the river below. He knows that the frail ash will probably never even reach water, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that he's given them burial in the water and the wind. That maybe with time the photograph in his mind will fade, too. That maybe he'll stop asking if it is his fault there's not a shadow of those two smiling children left.

He stays on the bridge for a while longer, thinking about their childhood (because he still can't think of that part of life in singular), about her smile and Tyrion's laughter, about games - the ones that didn't hurt anyone. The good things you're supposed to speak of at funerals. There hadn't been much good said at Tywin's, but he's seen the proper sort on TV.

When the sun sets and he comes back to the hotel, Brienne greets him almost wary, looking him over as if looking for injury. "Are you okay?" she asks, offering him a sandwich as Jaime plops down on the bed next to her. (They'll be sharing again and he doesn't mind in the slightest. Brienne had not complained either, not that she was one to do so.)

"Yeah, I am," he tells her, honestly, and realizes that there had been no splash when that stone had fallen into the river along with the ash, but it's gone nonetheless. There is empty space now, saved for a smile, and he does so, luring one from Brienne in response.

(When they're falling asleep, he presses the kiss to her forehead that has been aching on his lips.)

---

Winterfell is not as cold and miserable in late summer as he imagined, but it's no dream destination. Still, Jaime tells himself he's glad he won't have to make a home here, because even colorful ads don't bring much life to Wintertown. (What kind of name is that, even?)

It's not a lie that holds up when they're standing in front of a phone booth. They stare at the chipping paint on the door like it holds all answers to questions they don't even know, before Brienne turns to look at him, grabs his hand and pulls him inside.

The booth would barely hold her and the backpack, but with him, quite literally folded into it as well, it becomes absolutely cramped. Still, she finds a way to grab his hand somehow, after she's paid the fee.

"Hello Mrs. Stark? This is Brienne Tarth, daughter of Selwyn Tarth. Last year, you extended an offer - I was wondering if it was still open?" She listens and it's her grip that betrays her emotions, not her steady voice. They had discussed what to say, beforehand, but it had not been revibrating around them in a tiny phone booth then, so real and with the possibility to change their lives.

She looks at him, eyes wide and stormy and nods to not keep him in suspense, before continuing: "Thank you, Mrs. Stark. I am currently on the corner between Builderstreet and Ravenroad in Wintertown. And I have brought a friend with me. This is non-negotiable, though I understand if it changes your mind."

Brienne squeezes his hand, jaw set in challenge that rings clear in her voice and he is felled by it, frozen though he should grab the receiver and shout "no, no, I don't matter, forget about me, just please take her in". But he wouldn't even be able to locate it, he can only see her face and think that it almost glows somehow. He is no match for her in this moment, no one is.

"We will stay there, yes. Thank you again." And just like that, the time resumes, but he is still swept up in the river of her determination, not its flow.

"Breathe, Jaime," she tells him, smiling so brightly that he is suckerpunched by the reality of the sun's gravity and the almost tangible heat of her power, and he thaws, inhales deeply and shakily.

It would be so easy to tangle himself further into her and press a kiss to her mouth, a thank you and worship in one, to brand his lips with hers just so he could always remember I was hers, briefly, brilliantly. Here, in this space still bobbing along independent of everything beyond it.

And it would be the most unfair thing of all. To ask even more of her, to hurt her if Stark kindness runs thin when they learn just who is her companion, to give her only something so brief and not him whole as she deserves. (But will there ever be more of him?)

So, he pulls them back into the sunlight.

They are holding hands still as they wait for the Starks, strings of tension humming the same tune in both of them, but there is fierceness in Brienne's smile. It runs hot enough to light a kindling in him, not the destructive sort he's grown accustomed to, but a more dangerous one. Because like this, she looks like a knight that will champion for him, no matter the odds. And win.

He still wants to kiss her, like a favor given and taken before the battle, and the way she's looking at him right now, defiance melting into reassurance and warmth, something sparkling he can't define within, when their eyes meet, he can almost believe she wouldn't mind. But there is a world between not minding and melting into his touch like it's home. And no time to find out.

So he presses kiss to her forehead instead, breathes her in and swears it's not the last time, knows more than ever he can't let her go, and then they are ready to face the future.

Together.

#Braime #Jaime x Brienne #Braime ff #got #my fic #rainy writes stuff #smoking mentions

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heartxclouds · 3 years

Text

Diabolik Lovers: Wrong Blood-Prisonned Bridal;;Part 1

[C]♡. Hello! Welcome to this blog..

This is my first try on writting my DL AU, which is called Wrong Blood-Prisonned Bridal if you are new to it! I think that I am experienced enough in writting so this is why I took the courage to write it! I do hope that you enjoy and follow the instructions clearly because yes, I have a rules in here- It isn't forced but you still need to view the rules. 📄

Rules;; {+ Instructions}

If you click on a OST link, you can hear the music ^^

When something is written in italic, it means that it's a wisper.

I would appreciate it if you have enjoyed the story, that you comment or like! Like that it makes me want to continue! If you need to give me constructive critism please send me a PM (Private Message).

In here there will be some spooky things so if you dislike that a lot, please proceed with caution. PS: Niko is a gypsy, that isn't meant as a slur. Niko is a girl that travels, does fortune telling and dances. So don't worry. I'm not here to offend.

If you see a edit with subtitles, read the subtitles! And if you can't see a image clear? Click on it!

Some edits are old or come from friends! I will credit them don't worry, they will be credited in the section 'Information'. And for the old edits, I'll put old in the end of the post in section 'Iformation'.

Thank you for reading the rules! I hope you enjoy this now. 🎃🍂

...

It was afternoon, at this time.. Many kids were playing. Screams of joy because of hide and seek, sometimes pain because they fell and even tears or joy because they were laughing so much. But there was one little girl that wasn't in the mood for playing. She would rather read books at this time of the day, she had secretly picked out some books out of the small library of her mother. Vampires..What were they? Monsters- Bloodsuckers- Creatures of the night... The little gypsy girl was amazed by these stories but also terrified. Welcome to the world of the small Niko Riverdale.

Winter.. It was cold but fun, Niko turned six years old not long ago. She felt like she could be a adult any second. Niko loved to play as the little adult.. But to be honest, it was scary. People always had some type of disgusted look when they spotted a gypsy, and it was like this everywhere. But on the possitieve side.. Some people could be nice and accept them, even enjoy they're dances. A gypsy was never meant to have a bad view.. Being a gypsy was seen as some kind of culture too. The priest always said that God hates gypsy's.. That if you were one, that a spirit will haunt you.. Kill you.. Destroy you. All kids from Niko's age knew the dark reality already, God? Hah.. When did God help? That's what they were thinking.. But Niko thought otherwise, she believes that God is good.

-"Mom.. Why do people hate us?"

Niko was holding the hand of her mother while they were walking back home. Reading hour was finished and Niko had hidden those vampire themed books in her bag before her mother got to see it.

-"Ah.. Don't worry about that honey.. You know.. In this world there are people that can hate you without a good reason.. That is why we need to be strong."

Her mother had felt some un-easy feeling.. Excactly, why did people hate them? She didn't know the answer herself... She held the hand of her daughter slightly tighter, they would go to the cathedral before getting back home. She entered the building and went to the small praying spot that was there. She looked at her daughter, she would need to pick a different one.. Niko went to the Maria statue that wasn't too far away from her mother.

-"My God.. I'm here to ask you questions.. I hope that I don't bother you at this moment but..Do you hate me? Or my mom..? My gypsy people..? You know.. Today some kids didn't want to play with me.. They're parents didn't want that.. Even if it was my birtday.. Hmph.. And God, I'm 6 years old now.. That's a lot, right? Hehe.. Will you please answer me..? I now pray this in the name of our saviour. Amen.."

Niko did the quick cross sign before walking back to her mother, that seemed to have finished her praying. Niko held the hand of her mother.. Did God hear her? Will she get the message..? Who knows.. Maybe God, had a surprise.

After getting home, having dinner and having a bath.. Niko was relaxed and ready to read some more about the nocturnal horror creatures.. Curiousity really killed the cat.. And Niko was clearly the cat in this example. The moon was up.. The beautifull blue moon that shinned in Niko's room, Niko could observe those beautifull night skies forever.. She didn't realise that is was already 2 AM, Niko would be in trouble if her parents found out that she was still up.

{[OST|https://youtu.be/9xWi_RkqYiM]}

But strangely a sound ruined the silence.. Crying.. Rather disturbing. A fenale voice? Calling out for help but it all sounded like a echo. For a kid this could be creepy looking, but for Niko.. She was worried.. Not about that sudden visit in her house of a crying voice but she was actually concerned about the feelings of the person.. Did they need to escape? Was there a killer outside? No.. Not at all. Niko got out her room and walked down the hallway.. The wood plancs made a creak sound. The more Niko approached.. The more the crying became louder. She could see now.

A woman with pretty long white hair was sitting on her knees on the floor. Her clothing was white too- She also had some kind of long blue see-through scarf, she also had white gloves, pretty ones that people always wore when they were from a rich family.. Her skin was pale, as pale as porcelin.

-"Umm.. Miss..? What's wrong? What is happening..? Are you hurt..?"

Niko was a child with good manners but it was kinda weird.. How did that woman come in? The door was locked, the windows too.. Who was this woman? Or what is she? The crying didn't stop but when Niko placed her hand on the shoulder of the beauty, then she turned around and held Niko's shoulders tightly.

-"Where is h-he?! WHERE IS HE?! I NEED HIM-?! MY CHILD.. HAVE YOU SEEN MY CHILD?! AHHHH!!!? I WANT HIM BACK! I WANT HIM BACK?! HE NEEDS TO BE FIXED.. HE NEEDS TO BE HAPPY!! WHERE IS HE?! AHHH?!!?? TELL-?! TELL MEEEE AAHHHH!?!"

Niko felt paralyzed.. A random woman just came here and was finding her child.. Her child is broken? He needs to be fixed? That woman didn't look normal at all either.. She was way too pale for a human being.. It was dead skin colour.. She had long fangs too.. And also you could see through her..? A ghost-? A spirit?! Niko's eyes were tearing up- God, can God explain?! Why don't Niko's parents hear this?! Was she crazy?! Niko just got out the grip and ran to her room and locked it, she got on her bed and hid under the covers.

-"God please.. Make it stop.. Make it stop.. I'm scared.. Don't give me to Satan.. Not the devil, I beg you.. Do you hate me? Is this my curse now?"

This was a bad experience for a child, it could be traumatizing.. Niko was praying for this to stop, but then she heard the loud banging against her door- She was screamed.. The woman was still crying and screaming.

-"FIX HIM?! YOU CAN FIX HIM!! FIND HIM!! YOU MUST FIND HIM!?? DO IT PLEASE!!!"

Niko hugged her knees, she was way too scared to say anything or open the door. Niko cried in her sleep.. In the background she could still hear the crying.. The crying of a female vampire ghost..

...

[{OST}|https://youtu.be/NvMROvgMOz0]

[C]...

It was night time, a few nights have passed since that incident and that woman always kept her awake- Screaming and crying.. Niko was hidding under the covers- Hoping that it would stop soon. She held her bunny plush close, it was a white bunny with red buttons as eyes.. It clearly was a old design, but she loves it. The banging on the door soon stopped.. But it replaced with a wisper. Was Niko getting crazy? Hearing wispers in her head.. That made Niko just hug her plush tighter.

-"Go to the forest.. In the forest you'll find a mansion.. I need you to fix him.. Please"

Niko looked down- She letted out a sigh.. Even if her parents forbid her to go out at night- She would do it- Like that the nights without sleep will stop..Maybe. Niko puts on her small brown boots and then got out the house after grabbing her plushie and wearing a yellow jacket, it matched her eyes perfectly. Now, Niko got in the dark forest.. Why did she forget the flashlight?? She hugged her plush tighter.

-"It's you and me mister carrots.. We will finish this.."

You could hear in Niko's voice that she was scared- She planned to get back home and get the flashlight.. But it already was too late- Her house wasn't visible anymore. Was she lost-? Niko started to tear up, she felt stressed and she could sense that there was danger close by. Niko didn't trust the sound of breaking twigs and leafes that were being crushed.. Without further hesitation, she started to run- She didn't care that she could see nothing- Her mind told her to run. And she was lucky that she started running now, because the hungry wolves were out now, howling and groaning, they wanted the eady prey that was there now.. And the prey was Niko. A girl her size and her age was as easy as catching a mouse.

{ [Wolf howling|https://youtu.be/66HKBdZe_WA]}

-"HELP!! PLEASE SOMEBODY!! WOLVES!! HELP!!"

Niko was screaming while running- But nobody was there to save her- But God must have heard her wish.. The mansion- It was there- Right infront of her! Niko quickly openned the door and got in. She heard the wolves outside, they were howling and sniffing where she was hidding. There was a moment of silence soon.. Were they gone? Niko peeked through the window to see if those carnivores were still there and it seemed that they dessapeared.

-"Hehe!! No dinner for you guys!"

Niko giggled happily, she was happy to stay alive- But soon after her short victory dance, she felt something.. No.. Someone behind her- She gulped and then slowly turned her head to see a tall man.. His eyes were some type of dark pink and his hair was purple- He also was wearing glasses. Niko stepped back as her eyes were wide from how scared she was- Will he hurt her..?

-"Entering the house of someone like that is really dissrespectfull. You need to learn some manners."

The male was getting straight to the point- His expression was serious and he clearly wasn't happy with Niko's action from before. Niko quickly openned the door and ran out- This was unexpected. She never knew that someone lived there.. No wonder that it looked so clean.

The man with glasses sighed as he watched a albino with the corner ofhis eye.

-"Oh.. So you did decide to come for dinner. I am waiting for your apologize. The dinner is cold and everyone is back to their rooms."

The purple haired man walked away, slightly annoyed. He puts his gloves on in a more comfortable manner as he was walking. The albino narrowed his eyebrows as he gave off a 'tch' noise, he just got back from the garden not long ago. Who was that girl though? How did she find this hidden mansion? He wondered.. But he won't think about it too much. He went to the dinning room.

Meanwhile, Niko had ran away from the mansion.. Fear was described in her eyes. But then- Her house, she saw it.. And yet, she didn't run far away from the mansion. Magic? How? She turned around.. Only trees were seen. How in the world? The small brunnette ran quickly to her home and her parents waited for her.. Crying tears of relief and ordering her to never ever do that again but.. Will she keep that promise-?

✧.*ೃ༄9 Years later...

The sound of the flutes and tambourines filled the streets, the gypsy's were there.. And it seemed that Niko and her sisters were the ones to dance. The same thing happened once again, for some the disgusted look and for some others there was the look of enjoyement. The gypsies how flexible and gracious moves- They always had a beautifull performance in mind. After the dance performance, niko and her sisters earned some money.. They will use this for food and clothing... And for Niko's mother, Rei. She was doing fortune telling to get money for the small house that they have.

The golden eyes of the brunnette spotted a animal..A cat..A white one to be specefic. She stared at it for quite a while- The cat looked at Niko and purred before walking away. Niko sighed a bit as she furrowed her eyebrows. Then Niko realised that her siblings were already going back home- She better quickly catch up with them.. Niko openned the door of the house and watched her father, he was laying on his usual dark blue couch.. She sighed and went to him, seeing that he was sleeping for bow. Niko smiled softly and puts a blanket over her father.. You could sleep better if you were cozy and warm. Niko remembered that she needed to handle something quick- She went to the door and openned it.

-"Where are you going?"

Her big brother John saw that she was planning to leave..Even if it was almost dinner time. He placed the wood in the fire, it was spring and yet it felt like it was still winter.

-"I'm going to the church.. I'll be back home soon though, see ya..!"

Niko got out once more and step by step made her way to the holy building..To be honest, the church was scary.. All dark colours and paintings of suffering- Even some god statues were scary. But Niko always felt much calmer when she saw the Maria statue. She closed her eyes and held her hands together.

-"God.. It is already nine years and three months that this ghost is haunting me.. The cries, they scare. Please help me..Give me a sign to freedom. In the name of our saviour. Amen.."

Niko could not live forever with this kind of ghost that visits her each night. Each time begging to save her child more specefictly her son.. What was this all about? She letted out a sigh- A sad one.. A concerned one. Was this all in her head? Was Niko getting crazy? Her parents and siblings didn't realky believe her.. Her mother did but she didn't know what to do. She rubbed her forehead and just went back home after doing the little cross sign. Niko really believed that god exists.. That someone is watching you.. Sins, Actions, Desires..Wishes. It was scary and yet so releaving in her opinion. After having dinner and a family talk, it was time to prepare for bed. Niko took a shower to refresh herself, she brushed her teeth, got in a fresh nightgown and then finnaly got in bed.

{ [OST|https://youtu.be/aG-39UWA4u0]}

Niko knew what will be going on tonight, she just hoped that it will stop. Each time, she repeats that hope. 12 pm.. It's almost time, Niko's eyes stayed open- She probably won't be able to sleep this night again. This was a punishement.. Was it really though? Niko didn't know but it was horrible to go through.

-"Go..Go.. Go back to the mansion.. He needs you.. You need to make him happy. Please. That's my only wish.."

-"W-Why can't you just leave me alone?"

-"Go..Go.. Go back to the mansion.. He needs you.. You need to make him happy. Please. That's my only wish.."

This repeated over and over again. Niko tried to get a other answer but it still was the same the "Go..Go.. Go back to the mansion.. He needs you.. You need to make him happy. Please. That's my only wish.." was always repeating. Niko had enough, she will go back there, early in the morning to not get wolves or other wild animals after her.

And she really did this plan. In the morning, around 5 am, she got up and got in her red gypsy dress and she wrapped a yellow scarf around her waist, she also puts on her yellow bandana after that she had brushed her long brown hair. She took a quick toast from the kitchen and frowned. She will return back home like last time, she was sure that it would happen as planned.

-"Let's get done with this"

Niko mumbled after getting out and going to the forest. Niko could see now where she was going. It wasn't dark, it was sunny already. The brunnette tried to find the mansion, but it was nowhere to be seen. It really annoyed her, she wanted to not be haunted by that woman anymore, she didn't want to struggle anymore with it. This was going to be the end. Did she really need to wish for the mansion to appear out of nowhere??

Niko ran through the bushes but that caused her to trip, she shook her head and got up after wiping some of the dirt away. But then.. When she lifted her eyes back up to normal. It was there- The mansion that she searched for for hours long. Niko stepped towards the gates-

Niko gulped when the gates went open on it's own. This was..Magic? No way. She must be dreaming. Niko slapped her cheeks with her hands.

-"Gah.. Niko-chan.. Wake uppppp..! Owie-"

Niko stopped slapping her cheeks and took a big inhale before taking the courage to enter the territory of the mansion. A certain stress overwhelmed Niko, it was uncomfortable... As if she was going in some type of haunted mansion. The crows were watching Niko, some letting out their loud bird noises.. These type of birds were mostly around graveryards. Which made this give more of a creepy atmosphere. Niko knocked on the door and waited- She learned last time that shouldn't just enter a house/mansion out of nowhere.. But hey she had no other choice. Niko saw that the door openned.. But weirdly nobody was behind it. Anyone would be running away from this already..No? Niko would have loved to do that but she really wanted to get the spirit away from her. So- Niko got in and looked around..

-"Helloo?? Someone here..? Uh.."

{[OST|https://youtu.be/_iF7lkXKHlA]}

Niko wanted to check first of course. And yet, there was no reply.. Maybe they weren't home? The brunnette wanted to know what the woman meant. 'Make him happy' 'Fix him' 'He needs you', her only wish. The spirit meant a person? Of course- Niko facepalmed. The brunnette still felt that same uncomfortable feeling, that feeling of being watched. This place wasn't safe.. It wasn't safe at all!! Niko had shivers running down her spine. Blood.. Blood running down the walls, Niko's visions made her think that.. This mansion.. It had bad secrets.. Secrets that nobody should ever know about.

Run..

Niko's mind kept telling her to run. Run for your life. Run for you freedom before-

Niko had ran back to the front door, it won't open?! No no- This wasn't the plan. God, what did Niko end up into?! Tears ran down her cheeks as fear took her over once more, was she trapped? Was this a prank??

Niko felt a hand on her shoulder.. She hesitated to look behind, but after some seconds she did. A albino man, right there..Glaring down at her with his intimidating look. Niko could not take it anymore.. She fainted. The man catched her in time and groaned.

Run for your freedom before it's too late..

It's too late...

He snarled when he saw her exposed neck with her black chocker necklace. He seemed to hold back something- He seemed to control it for now. The man openned his lips to speak out his words;

End of episode 1... 🍂

Information section:

Time taken: Started on 6 oct 2020- Finished on 14 oct 2020.

Credits;; Story (@me); Edits (@Me) Niko at the gates (Old edit)

I hope that you enjoyed! And I also hope that you would like to follow my journey of Wrong Blood!

See you soon... 🎃

I had posted this long ago but I wanted to share it here too♡

#oc story #anime #diaboliklovers #diabolikloversoc #au #wrongblood #prisonnedbridal #story #fanfiction #ocxcanon

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lunaofthevalley · 6 years

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Steadfast Tin Soldier |||

Bucky Barnes x Reader

The third and finally part is finally here. Thank you to everyone who has taken their time to read this little mini series. It was an idea I came up with on a whim and I wasn't sure I even wanted to post it but I'm glad I did. So without further a do, enjoy 🦄

Note: if you want to be added to my permanent tag list comment down below, and if you want to request something don't be afraid to send an inbox. And if you're a Peter Parker fan keep your eyes peeled for my upcoming Peter story based slightly of the little mermaid.

It had been about a week since the party and things were drastically different. No one has seen or heard from Bucky ever since he walked out of the party and while Y/N hated to admit it, she was overcome with worry about what had happened to him. It wasn't the first time he had done something of the sort. After something happened that he found incredibly stressful he'd disappear for a couple of days and when he came back it was as if nothing had ever happened. But this time he'd been gone for longer than usual.

Y/N was currently sat in her room, in front of her vanity playing with her hair. She stared at herself in the mirror and she as been doing so frequently for the past week. Bucky had called her beautiful shortly before abandoning her, but if she was being honest, she hadn't felt that way ever since the party. She knew her beauty had nothing to do with Bucky leaving her there, but that's how she felt for some reason. Like she wasn't good enough.

She was taken aback when she heard a knock on her door. No one ever came down to her quarters, except Natasha and Wanda, who at that point just walked right into the room with out knocking. Y/N stood up and walked to the door. She expected many things to be on the other side but not what was actually there.

In front of her was a bruised and bloodied Bucky who looked as if he could fall dead in a matter of seconds. His clothing was ripped and his long locks were tangled and greasy. His usually shiny metal arm had dirt between its ridges and it looked opaque. His eyes which were usually a bright blue looked grey and sad. He opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off.

"Go to the bathroom and get undressed." She ordered.

Bucky was taken aback, "Excuse me?"

"Go to the bathroom and get undressed." Y/N repeated, "I suppose you're here to talk, well we'll talk when you no longer look like walking death."

"Y/N...I-"

"Into the shower now Barnes!"

Bucky gave her one last look before walking past her and into the bathroom. Y/N waited until she heard the door close before releasing the breath she had been holding. She quickly composed herself before darting out of her room and towards Bucky's. She wanted to get him a clean change of clothes so that he wouldn't have to wear those ripped, dirty ones after he left the shower. She also passed by the lab and grabbed one of the first aid kits and a couple of more things she considered she would need for patching up Bucky.

She returned to her room moments before Bucky left the shower. He stepped out only covered in a towel from the waist down. Y/N was sure she would lose her composure right there and then. His toned chest was glistening with the small water droplets that fell from his damp hair, gliding down it, outlining his abs more than ever. His metal arm looked shiny again, and while he was now free of the dried blood, Y/N could make out cuts all over his face, arms, chest and stomach.

She gestured with her head to the change of clothes she had left on her bed. He didn't say anything as he grabbed them and went back into the bathroom to change. After a couple of minutes he emerged again.

Y/N was sat on the bed, her chin resting on her hand, which rested on her knee. She looked up at Bucky through her eyelashes and gave him a once over all over again. "What the hell happened to you Bucky? You've been missing for a week!"

Bucky looked down in shame, feeling bad for not telling her where he had gone. "Fury had a mission for me. It was supposed to be a quick in and out, but took more time than what we thought. I left the morning after the party. Only Steve and Tony knew where I was."

She pursed her lips and slowly nodded her head, "Well what kind of mission was it that left you looking like that?"

"It was to stop some rogue HYDRA agents, it was a small group. No more than ten. It was an easy mission Y/N. I look worse than what it actually was. Most of the blood wasn't mine." Bucky explained.

"You're covered in cuts!"

"They're just small scratches Doll."

Y/n stood up from the bed and went over to her desk to retrieve the first aid kit. She then gestured for Bucky to sit down on the bed, which he did without argument. She approached him and set the stuff down beside him before turning to him again. "Take your shirt off."

"What?"

"I said take your shi-"

"I heard what you said, I'm old, not deaf." Bucky remarked, "I just put the shirt on, why do I need to take it off?"

"I need to make sure you have no deep cuts that need stitching."

Bucky let out an earthy chuckle, "I already told you I'm fine Doll."

"It's protocol Barnes."

"Oh so we're on last name basis now, huh?"

"Just take off your damn shirt Bucky!"

"Okay, okay." He then took of his shirt and in that moment its as if all the air left Y/N's body. It wasn't the first time she'd seen him shirtless, she had recently just seen him in only a towel, and it also wasn't the first time she revised him after a mission. But something about this time felt different.

It was happening in her room and not in the lab, and the unspoken matters between them made the atmosphere tense. As Y/N took to cleaning some of Bucky's cuts, he looked up at her. Her face was scrunched up in concentration, her E/C eyes were focused on what she was doing, her lips pursed, which made it look like she was pouting. Some strands of her H/C H/T hair fell on her face, which was slightly highlighted by the suns light coming in through the windows, giving her and the room an aura of gold. A few more minutes of silence passes before Bucky grabbed her hand and spoke up.

"I owe you an apology." He started. Y/N made no sound and only looked at him with wide eyes, "What I did to you is something no man should ever do, and I regretted my decision to do so the moment I walked out the door, but I was too ashamed to go back. Truth is I became overwhelmed with everything. You looking perfect, the ambient, the team and their stupid plan...just everything became too much and I needed to get out of there. I know I should've explained but I couldn't.

"Truth is Doll, I've been head over heels for you since the moment I saw you, and then I met you and got to know you and I just kept falling deeper into a pit I knew I wouldn't be able to escape. You're everything I've wanted in a woman. You were literally the Ballerina to my Tin Soldier.

"But you deserve better than me. I'll never be the Bucky I was 75 years ago, and I'm no longer the Winter soldier. I'm now just the shell of James Buchanan Barnes, trying to figure out how I fit into the world now and coping with what I had to put up with during my time in HYDRA. I have severe PTSD, I have nightmares and crazy impulses...and you Doll, deserve so much better than that, so much better than me. So I'm sorry."

Bucky let go of her hand and looked down in embarrassment. Y/N was shocked, to say the least. Bucky had just poured his heart out to her without hesitating. She could no longer help to be mad at him, how could she after that. She slowly crouched until she was looking slightly up at him. She reached out a hand and placed it on his cheek, his metal hand coming up instantly to gently wrap his fingers around her wrist as she slowly caressed his warm cheek.

"You know, I've been head over heels for you too. Ever since that day we met. Just one look at you and I knew you were different. Not in the bad way, but in the best way possible. I have never once looked at you and thought about you as a broken, tortured man. To me you have always been, and always will be just Bucky. Never the winter soldier, never Captain Americas best friend. Only Bucky.

"And what you're saying about me deserving someone better is bullshit, pardon my French but that's what it is. You do not get to decide who I do and don't deserve in my life, I decide that myself, and I want you in my life. But more importantly Bucky, you deserve this, you deserve me in your life, and I may sound like a hypocrite telling you you deserve me while also telling you, you don't decide who I deserve, but it's the truth. You deserve someone who will be there for you, who will put up with you PTSD, someone who will look at you like the most precious thing there is, and god Bucky I really hope you let me be that someone for you."

It was now Bucky who was shocked. He saw some tears trickle down Y/N's face and he felt the same on his. Both of the were overcome with emotion, everything that had been pent up for a week and from months before was now coming to light. Bucky knew he didn't have the words to reply, and even if he did he didn't know how to say them. So instead of replying verbally he thought he'd show her what he felt physically.

He leaned down and grabbed her by her waist as if she weighed nothing and brought her to his lap, pulled her as close as possible and then slowly but passionately connected their lips. She didn't protest at all. Her hand with which she had been caressing his cheek remained there while her other found itself wrapped around his broad shoulders. Their kiss started of slow, allowing them to set a pace and get used to the feel of each other's lips, but as time passed the kiss got deeper, faster, needier, and they never separated until the need of air became greater than the need of each other's lips.

Their foreheads rested on one another's, Bucky brought up a hand to caress her neck while both her hands played with the soft curls at the back of his head. They stared into each other's eyes while regaining their breath and composure.

"I love you," Bucky spoke up breaking the looming silence, "I know it might be too soon to say it, but it's how I feel."

Y/n leaned in and gave him a small, slow peck. She moved back but just a small amount so that her lips would ghost over his when she talked, "I love you too, so damn much Bucky, you have no idea."

"I think I have a slight clue Doll." He smiled.

Both of them remained embraced for a little while after that, finally knowing how it felt and not wanting to lose the sensation it gave them both. Neither of them had ever before felt as comfortable as they did then.

"Say...you still kind of owe me a dance." Y/N remarked a little later.

Bucky looked down at her, "Is that so?"

Y/N untangled herself from Bucky and stood up, offering him a hand which he gladly took as he stood up as well. Y/N led him to a part of her room that would give them enough space to dance. They positioned themselves almost identically to how they had been the other night, only this time, Y/N rested her head on Bucky's bare chest, right above his steady beating heart.

"Hey Doll...we don't have any music."

"F.R.I.D.A.Y" Y/N spoke up and not a second later an old song from the 40's started playing. Bucky hummed in contempt, recognizing the song and started to sway you both gently from side to side.

"You know....I guess fairytales sometimes do come true." Bucky said.

Y/N looked up at him, "Why do you say that?"

"In the story, the Steadfast Tin Soldier has to leave his ballerina due to...unfortunate circumstances...and after going through a long and hard journey he comes back to her. And well...I came back to you Doll, it might not have been a long and hard journey, more of a week long, average mission but you get the point."

She let out a small giggle which moved him to his core, "I suppose you're right. You know I find it funny how many parallels you seem to have with the story. It's a tad bit comical really."

"Well I guess stories have more influence in our lives than we think. And the Steadfast Tin Soldier isn't that bad a story to have parallels with."

"If you say so," she replied, "just don't get eaten by a fish, don't see how that would work out."

Bucky laughed, "Don't worry, that won't happen."

And so they danced on until day turned to night, they remained in each other's arms until the late hours of the night. Now that they had each other they didn't ever want to let go, never wanting to live without that feeling anymore. The Tin Soldier had been reunited with his ballerina, and there was no evil Jack-In-the-Box trying to separate them.

In the fairytale, the Soldier and the ballerina perish in a fire together, the flames making them melt into a single, perfect Tin heart. But Bucky and Y/N only melted into each other, coming as close to the other as much as they could. Their hearts were sure to become one after that day , neither of them being able to deny their feelings for the other anymore. And it was a beautiful thing.

The story of the Steadfast Tin Soldier and his Ballerina.

...

"Hey Bucky, what was it you said earlier about the teams stupid plan?"

"You don't want to know Doll."

TSTS TAGS: @hadesgirl1015 @holycoldcoffee @pookiepookie8 @fangeekkk @evilzinblr @miss-kraziii @wizards-magic-and-witches @white-wolf-buckaroo

#bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes #bucky fluff #bucky fic #bucky x you #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #avengers masterlist #avengers #avengers imagines #mcu #marvel imagine #marvel #the steadfast tin soldier #steadfast tin soldier #lunawrites

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undeservedfavor · 4 years

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The Bucketlist

Mini-Series of Short Stories

St. Valentines Day [EN]: Chapter 4

youtube

Two months has passed as they continued to work together until they finish the movie and gained so much awards and credit.

"Woohoo!!! Guys! Let's party! We all deserve it for all the hard work!" Director said.

"I think you guys need to talk about something. I don't know but while working with the both of you, we all feel sexual tension in the air." The celebrity Catherine said to Gisela when she noticed that Dorian is eyeing her from afar.

"H-he thinks he's so hot that he can get everyone. Though he told me he had indecent proposals in the past, 3 SMS, 4 Calls, 6 DMs, and 2 missed calls... He's not that hot." Gisela told the actress.

"Woah, so updated, are we?" Catherine gave Gisela a knowing look and a knowing smile.

"Can we talk?" After the Dorian's invitation, he and Gisela went to the nearest park.

"Whenever, I see that sand box, I remember Plage Solitaire. The most peaceful beach on the planet." Gisela just nodded to what Dorian said.

"I-im sorry." They both said in unison.

Then, they laughed a bit with embarrassment.

"L-listen-..." They said again in chorus.

"You go first." Dorian said.

"No. You should go first." Gisela said.

"Uhm, here you go... C-can we be together?" Dorian asked Gisela who shed tears immediately with the question.

"You don't understand. You don't wanna be with someone so-called 'Damaged Good'. I don't want you to regret it. You don't wanna be with me. You don't need to due to pity. You don't-..." Gisela's anxiety is overwhelmingly obvious.

"We do not know those things yet. Those are 'What ifs', you're far from a 'Damaged Good'. For me, you're a beautiful 'Work-in-progress' and hell, despite the controversies I had, I'm still in good condition, whatever you're going through, I will go through it with you. Whatever you're thinking, I'll help you overcome it. If there's someone who can try and understand you, that's me. For me, this isn't the time to waste time and fool around, this is not like the roles I play, this is real. You are real. I don't care how hard it is but no matter what, I wanna be a part of something so beautiful... A part of your plans in the future. Please. For old times' sake, let me be with you all the way." Gisela, lost for words nodded crying as Dorian also shed tears.

"Gisela, thank you. I love you..." Dorian whispered to Gisela as he caress the woman's hair, embracing her long and tight enough to make her feel safe.

"Let me drive you home." Dorian told Gisela.

They both started living under one roof at Dorian's condominium unit.

One morning, as they're lying on the bed, Dorian hesitantly asked about Gisela's list...

"Dear Piggy... A-are you still gonna continue with that list?" She showed him the list seeing number '6' crossed out.

"Back in the beach, I haven't really finished the list yet. Now, it's done. I actually skipped on number '6' and went straight to number 7, 8, 9 and 10. 'Cause you're not just any random guy... Technically you're my little Dino, but... You're the one." Dorian checked the list out due to his curiosity.

1. Earn a lot for the future. ✓

2. Quit the medical industry. ✓

3. Spend more time with the only family - Merian. ✓

4. Finish writing my novels and posting it to my writing/social platforms. ✓

5. Buy a house in Plage Solitaire at a chosen paradise to 'live and die' for. ✓

6. Have virginity taken by a random guy and leave him clueless afterwards. *Skip this part.* ✗✗

7. Get a writing job. ✔

8. Take care and fully pay insurance. ✅

9. Have the one closest to my heart, help me choose a casket and designs for the tomb.

Plus, choose a church for the blessing and perfect spot in the graveyard/cemetery.

10. Chose a great necrological service speaker. I want a great Eulogy.

Dorian just looked carefully at Gisela's face and embraced her tightly.

Then, she spoke...

"I know. I'm a weirdo." Gisela told Dorian.

"Piggy... You're kinda like scaring me with these things but if this is the way I can be with you, I'll understand, process and digest every single bit of it. I'm not even gonna ask you why you made this list in the first place but if you're ready to not give up on life, I'm gonna go with you if you decided to get yourself checked." Dorian said.

"I'll tell you when the time comes..." Gisela said.

The couple decided to go shopping.

No ordinary shopping but he's only doing it for Gisela even if he doesn't wanna consider the thought.

"You know what? I think this one will be okay. Ah! I know! Maybe I can also have a reservation my own. Same color as I've chosen for you. So when the time comes... We're still gonna go as a couple. Even if it's the after-life." Dorian joked a bit.

"Don't. Even though, couple shirts, couple rings and other couple stuff might be cute, I don't want you to think about a couple casket. You're a born villain. And villains don't die unless it's passed hundreds of years already. Plus, they don't even age. Time flies for them gracefully like a bloodline of a vampire." Gisela joked him back.

The next stop is to the cemetery.

They're choosing tomb designs.

"This is perfect, 'In loving memories of...-" Gisela was cut of.

"We can choose the designs Piggy but it's good to personalize those messages." Dorian said as he wrote things down on a paper.

You have lived a life full of love.

Soon, we'll meet and love again up above.

To the place where there is never-ending peace.

Love,

Your Dorian

Gisela smiled at Dorian and they went to the cemetery.

Gisela insisted to choose a spot.

"This spot is nice. The one near the tree." She said.

"I would already reserve those two spots next to each other. So that I can lie down with you forever when the time comes..." Dorian said Gisela shed tears and hugged Dorian.

"I don't wanna take you in this journey with me. You're not welcome this early to where I'm heading. Sorry for being so difficult but thank you for having number 9 checked off my list." Gisela said as she embraces her boyfriend.

A day after Dorian's shoot, he went home to Gisela and the house was empty.

Their things are scattered all over the floor.

The entire house was messy.

But...

There are no traces of Gisela everywhere.

She's missing.

"My dearest, why end up dodging the bullet once more? Running away and hiding again on me like that." Dorian whispered.

He searched everywhere for her and in a place he thought Gisela would go to.

"She's not here. She went through a deep trauma after she saw her parents died in the car accident. I know my cousin can be a handful, but please, don't give up on her." Merian said.

Dorian just nodded and headed off.

Dorian did not bring his car along to find Gisela in the hardest and most hidden places in the city.

As he was walking along the subway...

He found a cying woman.

With hands on her head and her hair covering her face.

Her hairs are tangled and all over the place.

Her skin's full of dirt.

When Dorian tried to look at the woman's face, he was shocked.

It was Gisela.

He brought the woman home and cleaned her up.

She fell asleep crying.

As soon as the woman woke up, she said she's gonna use the toilet.

"You sure you can stand?" Dorian asked. The woman just mindlessly nodded.

Dorian thought to check on Gisela when she's taking too long.

He did not lose hope until this sight.

He found Gisela lying unconsciously on the bathroom floor.

"Gisela!!!" He lifted the woman and brought her to the nearest hospital.

Dorian waited for hours for a doctor to come up to him and say that Gisela's okay.

"A-are you with her?" Dorian nodded as the doctor approached him.

"I'm doctor Ariel James Devant, Psychologist." The doctor introduced himself.

"We did not ask for a Psychologist, we need a Physician to have Gisela checked!!!" Dorian almost lost it.

"She's not physically sick. Not until now. We have pulled up a few counselling records of Gisela. In fact, I was her batchmate in Med-school, she quit and did not finish Med-school. So she just continued being a nurse. Because of her parent's car crash, her parents died in front of her in a car accident. She then became my first patient. I have checked on Gisela a few times and she never went back to the clinic afterwards. She's so indenial that something's physically wrong with her and insistent that she's nearing death, that she shuts down people who wanna have her checked by a professional or by any doctor. She has been diagnosed with constant fear of death that it lead to a severe case of anxiety." Doctor James said.

Dorian was not able to process what's happening and could not speak.

"People who has Thanatophobia, would not like to talk about death for it has caused them depression. On her case, it's different. For that's the only thing she wanna focus and talk about out of fear. Like her whole entire world revolves on the thought that she might, oh sorry, that she 'WILL' die. She already decided that for herself. Anxiety took a toll on her that her brain was mentally pausing because of too much stress, overwhelming worry, overthinking and unshown worry, sometimes this can cause nausea and problems with balancing." The same doctor continued talking.

"Maybe this is the reason why she 'slipped' in the bathroom. She lost consciouness in the bathroom because she might have hit her head on the floor. Now, there's internal bleeding, we need to have an operation ASAP to prevent brain mass. You have to prepare because the operation is risky, after that, she may go under a few days, weeks or even months in coma. Worst case is never to wake up." Another doctor spoke.

"My apologies, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is doctor Jessie Ulysis Voltaire. Neurologist and Physicist." He introduced.

After that, they all worked on Gisela's operation.

They spent hours to finish it and what they said was true...

Gisela fell into a coma for weeks now and counting.

Dorian held the woman's hand in his...

He got a Pig and a Dinosaur stuffed-toy that he put on the hospital bed beside her.

"Do you remember this Dear Piggy? You're Dinosaur's here to wake you up. You're my nurse. You shouldn't be lying there for a long time, at that bed. You're supposed to be the one who's taking care of me." Dorian said.

The woman was just unresponsive.

She was still deep asleep.

"You should have told me what you're going through. I should have understand. A-are you punishing me for loving you so much?" He said, sheding tears as he kissed the back of Gisela's hand.

#Youtube

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why485 · 6 years

Note

I'm interested to see what you think are plot holes, especially as someone who hasn't gone through half the game. Perhaps put it under a read more? Part of what you may think are plot holes could also be the result of Automata being a (very distant) sequel to the original Nier, which itself is a spinoff of the Drakengard games. Automata's pretty self-contained though, so I kinda doubt it. As for DLC, IIRC it doesn't really add much story aside from some bits about the arena mode.

This is all going under a read more as it’s pretty much impossible to talk about this without getting into spoiler territory in a game where that matters.

I may write an update to this post later on after I’ve beaten the game and had more time to think on it all, as I’ve already re-written half of it because I answered some of my own questions in the process of typing it out. Rubber ducky debugging, basically.

Fair warning, there is a huge amount of text beyond the break because there’s just way too much to talk about when it comes to any one aspect of Nier and its universe. Like it’s a totally unreasonable amount of text for anybody to read. You have been warned.

MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR NIER AUTOTOMATO AFTER THE BREAK

Before I start, it is obligatory that I mention that I’m somewhere in route C. I’ve destroyed one of the resource units as 9S. Specifically, the one in the forest if that makes a difference. I have no idea how far I am in the game anymore because at this point it feels like I’m playing this game’s sequel.

There are a lot of minor questions/problems I have with the game, but there is one issue bothers me the most as it feels like bad writing in a way that’s incongruous with the rest of the game. The best way to describe it is in the form of a question:

Why do YoRHa androids care so much about dying?

I feel like the game contradicts itself on this, and the confusion it’s caused me has taken away from some key moments in the story. The core issue is that the main characters treat dying as if it’s a big deal, when outside of very specific circumstances it really isn’t. For the YoRHa androids, dying seems like an inconvenience at worst because they can just “respawn” based on their most recent backup.

It starts with the very opening of the game. Why does 2B care so much that 9S is dying? She didn’t care at all when her wingmen died in the opening, but the purportedly super serious with “no emotion” super soldier (that’s a whole other post, but my opinion on that has changed a bit since then) is completely torn up and super emotional that 9S is dying. Why does she care? He’s going to respawn at the Bunker when he dies, just like they both do literally a few minutes later when they self-destruct to no real consequences.

Yes, I know that 9S makes a big deal out of the fact that he’s backing up 2B during the fight so she can respawn just fine. He specifically calls out that he hasn’t backed up since before the fight, so he’s going to lose maybe an hour or so of his memory and his memory of the fight. Why is that a big deal? Why is 2B so distressed about the idea of saving 9S even though he’s way gone and definitely going to die? If anything, she should have killed him right there so he could respawn sooner and not suffer in pain. (Although it’s unclear if maybe 9S was the node from which 2B was getting backed up, so if that’s the case then let him finish first. However if that is the case, it implies he should be able to save anywhere and they wouldn’t be in that situation to begin with.)

This happens again at the end of route A/B, albeit with slightly different circumstances. 9S is infected and so he cannot be backed up in his current state to the Bunker. However, he still has a backup from maybe an hour ago before the fighting starting, so why does it matter so much that he’s going to die there? Again, when he comes back he’s not going to remember how he helped save the world, but that’s really not a big deal in the grand scheme of things and 2B will have a super rad story to tell him when he wakes up on the Bunker.

Things get weird though, because 9S saved himself on the machines nearby before he died. I’m very unclear on what happened between the ending of A/B and the beginning of C because he’s back in his body as if nothing happened, seemingly remembering everything, and nobody mentions it. I’m not sure how he got there, what happened to the 9S in the machine, how he got to the Bunker, and so on. If the 9S in the machine at the end of A/B is the same one you see at in route C, that seems like a huge liability and is probably the source of the infection that wipes out the Bunker. This whole thing raises a lot of questions, but this seems like the kind of thing that will get addressed in due time. There are some very important scenes that happened in between A/B and C that, at least where I am in the game anyway, we didn’t see.

For being such a central and defining feature of the plot and the game’s themes, I feel like the mechanics of android death and revival need very clearly defined rules. Which, they do have, but the characters opinions on it seem to contradict it sometimes for the sake of dramatic cutscenes and relationships. They act as if they don’t know how it works when there’s no reason they wouldn’t.

Ignoring the character’s opinions, this is my understanding of how it works:

1. To respawn requires some server in the Bunker. If the Bunker is destroyed, that means all androids lose this capability, and so when they die, there is no coming back.

2. Only YoRHa androids can access the server in the Bunker, which means only androids like 2B, 9S, and so on can respawn. Resistance members universally talk about death as if it is very permanent. I was confused about this for a while, but thinking about it’s easily explained as their designs being too old to be compatible with whatever technology drives the whole resurrection system.

3. Some level of communication must exist between an android and the Bunker at the moment of death. 11B’s death provides this example. After getting stuck, 11B wants to respawn back at the Bunker, but cannot because her communication systems are completely destroyed. 11B is one of the three examples I can think of off the top of my head where the resurrection process fails.

4. When androids respawn, they come back based on their last save/backup. This means that whenever they die, they lose memories of whatever happened between their last backup and up to the point where they died. It sucks, but they’re soldiers, and it’s something they should be well aware of and used to. All things considered, that’s really not a big price to pay for what’s effectively immortality.

As a corollary to this, there are two clear ways for a YoRHa android to permanently die:

1. Communication with the Bunker is completely cut off, meaning that the Bunker will never get the trigger that boots up the backup of an android in a backup body. The only example I recall of this happening to this degree was when an android’s communication system was completely destroyed, which seems to be an extremely rare occurrence.

(This process raises a lot of the same questions that come up when discussing transporters, but I’m willing to overlook that for the same reason most fiction does. It starts getting into questions about souls, which to be fair Nier makes explicit reference to in the Project Gestalt archives. Maybe there’s more to this?)

2. The Bunker itself is destroyed and so the mechanism by which androids respawn is completely broken. There doesn’t appear to be a backup of any kind for this system. As of route C, this is now the case. 2B dies and she’s now really dead. Meanwhile 9S is still alive, but if he dies now, he dies for real.

(This also raises the question of where do androids come from in the first place, which is something I don’t know but I suspect will be answered eventually.)

As an aside, 2B’s memories are in her sword now. It’s not clear how important an android’s “memories” are in terms of the backing up process. If all it takes is nebulously defined “memories” to respawn an android, then 2B will probably come back at the end of the game by restoring her memories into a new body. Whether or not your personality and thought processes are intrinsically stored in those memories seems like a question worth asking but that’s approaching a whole other philosophical discussion.

I could go on and on and on, but I think I’ve covered what has bugged me the most about the game (and then some) pretty well. In the process of writing this post, I ended up answering most of the questions I had going in. Just putting it to proverbial paper has made me think about a couple things and after reviewing a couple things I ended up answering my biggest question which was “how do androids die?”

#nier automata

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