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mysticalmusicwhispers · 3 years

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#i wonder what your thoughts on diaspora in hetalia are#cause its a pretty interesting topic (the post in question)

@urmomsstuntdouble a collection of things that I think about on a semi-regular basis below the cut (also thank you for the tags!)

Disclaimer: I think this turned into more of a discussion of immigration and immigrants, but I hope this strikes your fancy anyways 😅. Also this got SO LONG and I explained quite a bit of history (because idk whether anyone knows much about this), so the key thoughts will be bolded!

My thoughts are kinda complicated about this tbh; it’s weird, because if China really did exist as a personification in real life, we’d probably both be judging each other, just for different reasons 😅.

General Hetalia Cases

I think when discussing immigrants/diaspora, you have to think about why different immigrants left. @cupofkey kinda discussed that a while ago (if anyone hasn’t seen this superb post, GO READ IT NOW) about the Vietnamese diaspora, and I think there’s some of that in every country. How do the immigrants feel about the home country? Why did they leave: because of hard times, poverty? Political instability/revolution/war? Opportunities overseas? Are they doing well in their new home, or still struggling? Does their new country treat them like foreigners or outcasts, unworthy of even arriving, or doing anything besides menial labor, or have they been welcomed (rather unlikely)? Do they hate their home country (politically), or miss them? Would they ever go back, not just to visit family or the place of their birth, but to return permanently?

I think on the whole, hetalia nations would still maintain a connection to their immigrants, especially since most are still in touch with their culture, although they’ve crossed borders or changed nationalities. (However, the angst of not being as in touch with your culture as you think you should is so real; would our home countries be disappointed? Or do they sympathize, somehow?) In the end, we’re all the same that way. Plus, the alternative thought of them just disowning immigrants feels weird; I don’t even know how that would be possible. But I think that connection gets complicated by the reason people left, and their feelings for their place of origin; I’ll be using APH China and Chinese Americans as an example to discuss this hksdgsdf (sorry I don’t want to do more research than necessary and I have Thoughts about this)

**OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER that immigration/diaspora discussions are almost always case by case and will vary greatly based on things like country of origin/race/ethnicity, country immigrated to, initial socioeconomic status, time period, etc. And even among diaspora, people can and will have vastly different experiences, and it’s not good to generalize. These are just some thoughts with one example.**

1. Waves of Immigration

Depending on when people arrive, they’ve got different push/pull factors drawing them to a country and it also factors into how the nation feels about them and vice versa... Chinese immigration to the US has mostly two major waves (you could also say there were 3, counting the post-WWII/Communist China wave, but I won’t talk about that): one in the mid 1800s and the other after the 1970s/1980s into modern day; the gap is because the Chinese Exclusion Act (1882) that banned most immigration from China wasn’t repealed until 1943 (because of Japan’s attack on the US in WWII, the US needed China as an ally).

IMMIGRATION WAVE 1: MID 1800s

These immigrants were mostly from southern China (Canton area), and they came to the US because of hard times (Opium Wars + political instability because of things like the Taiping Rebellion) and economic opportunity in the West (eg. Gold Rush (San Francisco is literally “Old Gold Mountain” in Chinese today) + industrialization, railroads, expansion etc.). There was Much Discrimination against those immigrants, and many worked as hard laborers in a variety of occupations (on railroads, gold mine, farms (in the South esp), laundry businesses; there were merchants as well, but they were the minority); many were looking to get some money that they could send back to their families in China and planned to return, but over time, they settled down and stayed. I think for those immigrants, Yao would definitely be understanding, even if he might not be empathetic. After all, he’s not thriving at that time either, and although he thinks Alfred is inferior to him (in many ways), he understands why people would be drawn by economic promise and quick wealth, even if it might not be the best strategy for getting rich. It’s not like staying in China would be better lmao. However, I don’t think he would approve (?) how many of his immigrants stayed in the US when most viewed it as a temporary move; I think Yao is very surprised by how so many of them persisted to carve out a home there, despite the discrimination and limited opportunities. Perhaps he admires their resilience, the creation of Chinatowns and community and how they still come to a country that doesn’t even let them in (see the San Francisco Fire of 1906 and the boon for paper sons), but still wishes they would come back, however unlikely that hope is. Personally, Yao would never be able to stay in Alfred’s country, the beautiful country, if Alfred’s hypocrisy prevented his experience, his immigrant’s experience, from being anything close to beautiful. (You were founded by immigrants and foreigners, but now you spurn them: the poor sojourners who continue to flee to your shores, and refuse them respite from the disasters at home.) And anyways, Alfred is just the next scrappy young upstart, barely 70 years old but with a swagger like he rules the world; how could he have something over himself, the Middle Kingdom, who has stood the test of time? (Admittedly, he’s doing nowhere as well as Alfred—even he can see that, despite his pride, and despite the haze of opium in his brain. Leaving is the logical, objectively sound choice. Still, his pride hurts vaguely when he thinks how his immigrants keep choosing a country that keeps rejecting them, over and over again, instead of himself. But it is no matter. The injury to his ego is inconsequential and easily brushed aside; for they are still his people, and they deserve a good life, wherever they are. His distaste for Alfred flares up again: Arthur’s bastard child, who takes advantage of his trade (see the Open Door Notes, 1899-1900), but refuses his people.)

if anyone wants more context or is interested in the history I mentioned, I highly recommend this pdf (from the book A Different Mirror: A History of Multicultural America by Ronald Takaki)

IMMIGRATION FROM 1949 TO 1980: according to Wikipedia, there was very little immigration from mainland China during this period due to the Cold War and China becoming Communist; most of the immigration was from Taiwan/ROC but counted in the quota for China. Since there’s a separate Hetalia personification for TWN, I’m not going to go over that. However, there were also many people from Mainland China who escaped to Hong Kong, still a British colony, during that period (I hope it’s clear why, but if anyone asks I’ll put it in a separate post); some stayed there, while others emigrated to the US; both trips were for more freedoms and a better life etc because China was really really messed up for a bit (also keep in mind the people emigrating all had the means to and were at least middle class, usually somewhat educated, etc.). I will not be talking about that group either because I don’t think it’s my place to, but please know they exist as well.

IMMIGRANT WAVE 2: 1980s ONWARD

A lot of people came from mainland China for education; there was also an. exodus of intellectuals following 1989 (which I Will Not get into). Many of these people sought job opportunities, like those that rapidly opened up in the computer industry, there are many students who come here to study abroad, who take SATs and TOEFLs to get into good US colleges or to conduct graduate research and get PhDs; some stay, others have gone back to like, advance China’s development (this sentiment of getting good students to go abroad and then go back to China to use their talents for Patriotic Purposes isn’t a new thing, stretches back to like the late 1800s). I don’t really have much to say about this group besides what’s below ↓.

2. Immigrant Thoughts On Their Home Country

more complicated, because it varies by generation and time period and probably 203943 other things. Mainlanders that came over starting in the 1990s till now have relatively positive feelings towards China (imo, extrapolating from my life experiences); I think part of that is also because most* of these immigrants aren’t really escaping from something? They’re coming for an education/job opportunities (students studying abroad in the US (留学生 or liuxuesheng) for graduate school or university come to mind as one example), and they’re still very much connected to China politically and culturally, sometimes* more so than to the US. For these immigrants, I think Yao doesn’t worry too much about them? They’re pretty successful* overall*, and discrimination, although still A Large Problem™, isn’t the same from stuff that Yao (or his immigrants) remember from, say the mid 1800s (see above), or even during the paranoia about Communists after WWII and the subsequent Chinese Confession Program that made many people really scared of being deported. (Red China made Chinese Americans a target of the Communist panic, and the confession program was instated in order to make sure Communist spies couldn’t infiltrate the US. Those who immigrated illegally could confess that and gain citizenship; however you also had to weed out everyone you knew who also immigrated illegally.) I think Yao would see them as an extension of himself in a different land; they’re very much still part of him, and he gives them his well wishes.

However, I think that immigrants born in the US in modern day at least (1990s onwards) are definitely more ambivalent about China’s legacy + modern day Issues™, as much as we are connected via culture and heritage. Not quite sure how Yao would feel about that, because I’m not quite sure how much Yao is the state and how much he represents the people. However, I think there would be some mutual unease; does he see this as betrayal of some kind? Perhaps he doesn’t blame us for feeling as we do? Maybe he wonders what we feel about him; maybe he doesn’t want to know. Maybe he chooses the easier route: to focus on the bonds between him and his huayi instead of the grievances, and leave the rest unsaid.

Additionally with first gen immigrants, there’s the conflicting feeling of being stuck between two worlds and value systems that oppose each other in many respects. Also there’s sometimes a feeling of not-quite-being-in-touch-with-your-culture (in other diaspora as well, ofc. here it’s often exemplified by forgetting or not knowing how to read and write Chinese proficiently, among other things 🙃); idk. does Yao see that as a bit of a disappointment? Would he wish us to try harder? Does he view it as inevitable, for those raised in the US; the environment is too different, and perhaps he won’t blame us for those differences, or shortcomings. Does Yao know, or care, about the racism? What about his immigrants who try to assimilate completely into American culture, who try to erase the Chinese part of their identity? Those that have tried it, but regretted it? Are they still his, when they have tried rejecting their connection to him, choosing to drop the “Chinese” from Chinese American? Does he consider racism when thinking about them? What about international adoptees? Does he claim them, when some have not been raised in a culturally Chinese environment, and when it’s still a sensitive subject on both sides of the ocean? I don’t have answers to many of these questions.

There are also immigrants who fled China because of war or persecution or upheaval, (one example is with regards to the Cultural Revolution), but I don’t feel qualified to discuss it here, and I don’t want to take it lightly.

But, despite everything I’ve discussed above, I’d like to think that however an immigrant feels about their home country or however long they’ve been there, all nation personifications would still wish them a better life (even Yao). I mean, it’s not always easy being an immigrant/part of a diaspora (especially when race becomes a factor). I really don’t think any of the hetalia characters would say “look at your struggles. What a mistake it was to immigrate somewhere where you still face so many challenges, although they might be different from the ones back home”. that’s just No. Also, I think that when you disregard sentimentality and their inherent connection to the people, countries would still be able to sympathize with people trying to strive for better, you know? People immigrate for a better life, whether it’s because it was getting rough when they left or because other places had more potential, and like. although nation-people can’t leave their own country, I think they understand the people who do, because it’s a chance to make a new life, and it would be unkind, counterproductive, limiting, to prevent someone from taking that opportunity if it came. And their children, and grandchildren; they are still connected to their origins even in a new country, by blood if nothing else, and nations are people too; they must have some sentimentality for their people born in a different land. I’d like to think that if Yao met a Chinese American kid running around San Francisco’s Chinatown, or bumped into an ABC high schooler in a well to do Massachusetts suburb, he’d stop and nod and maybe say hello, and wish them luck, wherever they go in the future. After all, they are the products of his immigrant’s hopes and dreams, and they are his too, as much as they live in Alfred’s land.

* (asterisks): this is a) from my experience and research; not everyone will have the same experiences! please keep this in mind and don’t generalize a very vast group of people. :)

Idk if that was too sentimental or rambly or something, but yeah, those are some of the things I consider when I think about nations and their diasporas. If you made it down here, thanks for reading! I greatly appreciate it. Also I hope I got all my facts correct, but if anyone spots anything incorrect, especially regarding the post 1980s immigration wave, please tell me! Tried doing my research but there are still a few things I’m unsure about rip.

This might be deleted tomorrow because I’m feeling weird about it, but feel free to reblog! I’d also very much love some feedback too if any of y’all are feeling up to it

#i was thinking about a lot of this when writing the zine fic so this post is partially an extension of that #hws china #aph china #musings #hetalia #nation lore #hws #aph #aph china headcanons #hetalia worldbuilding #headcanon musings #hetalia headcanons #I GUESS??

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littlewomenpodcast · 3 years

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Little Introduction

There is over 500 of you following me here :) that´s amazing. Time to do an introduction post.

☆About Me☆

My name is Niina and I use she/they pronouns

I´m from Finland. English is my second language. I can also manage conversational German.

I´m a demisexual, and in a weird way I think it migh explain my love for 19th century literature and courting.

Virgo, rising scorpio.

Half Gryffindor, half Ravenclaw

My favorite film is Disney´s beauty and the beast from 1991 and I have a cat named Belle

Some Finnish stereotypes that need to go away: there are no polar bears in Finland and never has been. Sauna is an asexual place and for a regular Finn, idea that sauna would be somehow a sexual place is very weird. You are naked in the sauna because it´s hot (and in swimming halls f.e there are separated sauna´s for men and women). We actually have very warm summers, and winters are very cold. Finns tend to be very honest, let´s get straight to the point-type of people and it might seem weird for those who come from cultures where small talk is more integrated.

I lived in the UK for many years.

☆Some Fun Facts☆

I work as an illustrator and especially now during pandemic, I have gravitated more towards projects that I find important and meaningful.

I´m a folklorist specialized on Finnish mythology.

If Friedrich Bhaer from Little Women, would run to be a world leader, I would be his campaign manager and he´d totally win

(but he wouldn´t do that because he is such a humble man)

I love Anne of Green Gables, tbh I am way more into the novels than the adaptations (in both LW and AOGG).

Some other favorite fandoms: LOTR, Charmed, Bones, Mentalist, selected Jane Austen. Slowly getting more into Tolstoi. Absolutely love Percy Jackson (esp Nico), been reading lot´s of Goethe lately, and books about the history of 19th century German universities (it´s for the Louisa May Alcott research) oh and Blue Castle everybody wants Gilbert Blythe, but I want Barney Snaith and his two cats! Lucifer (hall season 5!)

Mythology, anything about Finnish, Baltic, Assyrian and Welsh mythology you got me. Obsessed with early myths about Merlin (he lived eons before King Arthur so all the films are inaccurate lol, that doesn´t mean I don´t love the mini series with Sam Neil playing Merlind and Miranda Richardson was queen Mabb..now I want to re-watch it)

I originally joined tumblr because of the LW community and I mainly use it as a platform for my LW research and discussing with other LW fans but I am happy to have discussions on other fandoms as well.

☆ what will you find here☆

Mostly Little Women re-blogs and my Louisa May Alcott studies

I´d like to write a book about LMA someday, but for now I focus on making the best LIttle Women podcast/channel ever

☆Some Notes☆

If you are Jo x Fritz fan, Little Women canon fan, you are automatically my friend. John Brooke is underappreciated.

Henry Thoreau was an absent minded professor who kept forgetting his umbrella. Wow..I read that from a Thoreau biography..and from Little Women.

May Alcott Nieriker was a really cool woman.

I am politically pretty liberal, but I don´t really post my political convictions to social media.

Same goes with religion. I grew up in a very atheist environment and I actually had very harsh views towards monotheistic religions when I was younger, but I guess I have become more open minded growing up and that is not a bad thing.

Have a great day everyone <3

#about me #friedrich bhaer #fandoms #little women #louisa may alcott #podcast #illustration #anne of green gables #blue castle #percy jackson #amy march #may alcott nieriker

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luidilovins · 3 years

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You should turn your post on the Uncanny Valley into a book or something. I am not even kidding, it's brilliant and sorely needed information. Thank you for it.

Tbh its just speculative that the uncanny valley is an inherent biological trait and not cultural or a learned behavior at the moment. A good example would be the cultural phenomenon of colorophobia where in the US we have a longer history of using clowns in our horror pop culture genres than countries like Japan.

Clown entertainment has been around since the Egytian times and maybe some people have always been freaked out by them it honestly just takes one director or author to have an disproportionately irrational fear and good cinematography skills to convince people that they SHOULD hate clowns just as much, (I could say the same about the movie Jaws but thats a bit of a tangent,) or a memorable event that damages the public's trust in something that SHOULD be innocent or harmless. (A good examples being the John Wayne Gacy trials.)

Clowns are also thought to be in the uncanney valley so ita a fairly good argument on cultural phenomenon versus genetic traits. Up until aroud the 60s-70s clowns were actually fairly well liked by the US general public and a lot of older generation still find a fondness in it that would scare the living shit out of their grandchildren.

As far as evidence that I may be right about the "uncanney valley might be because of rabies" theory, there has been a small case study suggesting that the movements of a non-human robot that trigger the effect in us, is also present in people with parkinsons but the sample size is too small for me to be thoroughly convinced.

And don't be mistaken I also dislike this concept because saying that ableism is an inherent human trait is just as bad as saying racism is an inherent human trait. There is little to gain from distrust in the disabled and little historical evidence to suggest it was common or beneficial to discard disabled people. Disabled people's remains have been found time and time again to live to incredibly long livea and be cared for, and participate in their communities. I'm highly critical of this particular case study and I take it with a grain of salt because its on cosmo, but evidence of human disabilities and compassion can be sourced by actual bones and it's been placed on VERY credible sources. NPR, NBC, Discovery, Nat Geo, NY Times, literally the clostest you can get to creme of the crop news articles on DOZENS of accounts and if you have a goddam problem then pay for a tour to the Smithsonian, find an archeologist and coherse them into showing you the bones and then explain phorensics to you because you probably wouldn't understand unless you too were a phorensic archeologist yourself.

What I DO BELIEVE tho is that if the uncanny valley is a legitimate inherent trait, that like most evolutionary traits, it made it this far for this long because it somehow served us benificially. And the biggest benifit I can think of is identifying neuro-infectious diseases because they can spread agressivley, many of them lead to death or lasting effects and are fucking MISERABLE to catch. We're talking brain swelling, fevers, uncontrollable vomiting, tremors, hallucinations, motor and vocal tics, difficulty swallowing, seizures. This could all happen because they eat infected deer meat or because of one bad fox bite. It's miserable if you survive and horrifying if you dont. Rabies can survive in your muscle tissue for years before infecting your brain and once it does usually you only live for about 5-10 days in and out of concious knowledge that you're going to die painfully, and disease aggrivated psychosis. It would be hard to pinpoint the causation because the amout of time before full blown infection would vary too much to assosiate for a long time. So your only option is to hone in on telltale signs.

The disabled people who would suffer from herdeditary or developmental neurological disorders run the risk of prejudice from mistaken identity, but if a human is part of a community, and doesn't die within a week from having a wobbly head, it would sooner or later become apparent that they're not dangerous. I think nowadays culturally people don't press to learn more about disabled people due to social and political prejudice and never fucking grow up past that. Mistaken identity or not. You learn about people from the patterns of their behaviors so even ones that seem abnormal to you become a normal recognizable pattern for them. Fancy that.

We don't get grossed out by chimps or gorillas, who are even more distant cousins, and the proof that we don't have a search and destroy button for anything immediatly related to us is a bunch of bullshit can be found in almost every human's blood on earth. And not just neanderthals, but denisovans as well. And that's not even accounting for genetic backtracking the crossbreeding of other sapiens species before we were whittled down to just the three. What makes the tweet even stupider is that when neandertals still roamed the earth humans were shorter, hardier, and overall more rough looking so we looked even indistinguished then. We Also Chewed On Bones and neandertals handled cold climates better than us based on a study on chest cavity density and, skull nasal intake and heat circulation, providing genetic diversity and the upper hand in survival in the tundras or mountainous regions spanning over Eurasia. If it wasn't for humans fucking neandertals we might not have been able to spread over the contient or diversify the way we did.

So my full hypothesis is that if the uncanny valley is a genetic inherent human trait it was used to benifit people from catching agressive diseases in a time where the benifit of fearing a group member with rabies outweighed the cost of fearing a group member with a disability like parkinsons.

WHAT PISSED ME OFF was the idea that we are DESIGNED to be unwary of our evolutionary cousins could easily be used for white supremacist spaces to justify racism BECAUSE IT ALREADY HAS

So that one tweet that might seem like a quirky thinkpiece in my eyes is just fuel for eugenics trend round whatever number we're on. It's like we don't fucking learn. It would be REALLY easy to retool the concept that it's natural for people to be fearful of whatever the bullshit definition of sub-humans are. Claiming that black people were sub-human thus deserving of mistrust and submission to white ownership worked like a fucking charm.

Maybe if I go to college and major in psyche/socio/civics it'll be my college thesis. Right now I'm more of a hobbyist than anything, but what I DO know is that anyone can make an untested hypothesis to combat another untested hypothesis and it should hold just as much goddamn value. I combatted the idea that the idea that human othering was funneled into an unconfirmed effect that causes disgust and terror based on non-human sapiens is in fact racist and gave what is in my opinion a more evoluntionary practical approach to the uncanney valley.

The generalized links that I used APARENTLY weren't good enough for some people but aparently a single tweet that says "hur dur heedle dee uncanney valley exists because of human cousins" was taken at face value even tho it was probably tapped out in five seconds without regards to the reproccussions. I find a huge discomfort that less than studious links about the evolution of monkey social behaviors that I used as a guideline to explaining my concerns became the focal point for people to nitpick without even having the gall to "well actually" on the subject. That absolute ravaging NEED to rip apart at it and devolve into name calling because I MENTIONED racism is fucking suspicious and I don't trust it. I had to stop looking at the responses because some people were only reblogging and arguing with barely half of my argument and i was getting nowhere fast.

There were a few people that made actual points with cited sources that made their own rebuttle arguments. That I respect. It's just as valid an argument as mine and I'm ALWAYS willing to take on more credible sources to strengthen my stance or gain perspective.

But it's the utter dismissal of a concerning concept that just seeped into the subtext that gnawed at my gut. Some people on top of hating the linked sources I provided, admitted they didn't read it, refused to read between the lines to purposfully misinterpret or derail my main points, and detract that my claim that the tweet was a result of systemic white supremacy saturated into modern science was a bunch of bullshit because I claimed that 1500s anglos invented racism.

The thing is we did invent the racism that we fucking currently subscribe to.

We practice the science that we formulated based on our own social prejudice. Real people die from this.

We remain uncritical of our own theorums that we postulate then pat ourselves on the back like we're philosophical geniuses even though racism is a family heirloom with a new paint job.

We preach the eugenics ideals that we pulled out of our asses to benifit from fearmongering, promises of national security and unpaied labor.

White supremacists create subtext with the intention of it being consumed by accident or in ways that seem palatable.

Fuck.

That.

I don't hate the person who wrote the tweet. Chances are that they gave the tweet as much thought as they took the time to write it and went on their day as a fun little thinkpiece. Everyone on the internet does it. But its that kind of thinking error that needs to be adressed as a progression of historic and scientific prejudice that gets rehashed, recycled and untouched and continually damages and is weaponized against marginalized people. I am not wrong for taking it seriously especially when a bunch of people were sitting around nodding their heads just as effortlessly.

I don't owe the internet any more sources than the tweet. I don't owe anyone on the internet a full scientific ananysis. And the people's reaction to what I had to say was actually what further convinced me I might have hit the nail on the head.

#answered asks #uncanny valley effect #eugenics #fuck white supremacy #systemic racism #racism #negative #slavery #luidilovins

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drethanramslay · 4 years

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A funny thing called Fate: Chapter 2

Pairing: Bryce X MC (Aisha Khurrana)

Word Count: 4.6 K words (yeah yeah its more than usual)

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Warning: None, just some cursing

Author’s note: The next chapter is here and it is in Aisha’s POV!!

I decided to take part in @choicesseptemberchallenge20 and the prompt is heaven which you will find in bold.

TERMS THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW:

- IIT, Delhi: It’s one of the most premier institute for engineering in India. Delhi campus is said to be the best one in the country. The majority of the Indian CEO’s like Google, at least have a degree of IIT under their belt.

-ku'uipo: Sweetheart

-'Ae: Yes

- Beta padhai par dhyaan do, dost aate jaate hai: Child, focus on your studies, friends come and go (TBH this is the one line which maximum desi kids have heard while growing up. That's why we can be uh.. awkward in making new friends lol)

-Main kya gadhi hoon: I'm such a dumbass (side note: gadhi (female) actually means donkey in hindi)

-Duniya main maine itna bada gaandu kabhi dekha nahi hai maine: I have not seen a bigger asshole than this guy. (yes I love swearing in hindi and what about it)

Forgive me if i made any errors

10 YEARS AGO- AISHA'S POV

My fingers ran against the spines of the book, my head tilted as I searched for a new book to dive into.

"Found anything of your liking, Aisha?" Tina, the librarian asked, her kind eyes twinkling. The old librarian loved me because I always helped around in sorting the books or with checkout. She suggested that if I were to help her, she would pay me so I decided why not?

But the lack of people coming to the library and their constant need to be fake on social media, flexing about their looks instead of textbooks often left the library empty which consequently resulted in free time.

Not that I minded.

In that free time I would either catch up on my study assignments or I would read the books recently added to the collection be it fiction, politics, history, astronomy... I wasn't picky about the genres.

But lately, my attention is being drawn to medical journals and textbooks. Yes, I'm 16 and that its definitely not people my age do but, to be the person balancing on the tightrope between life and death, the person who stands between existence and heaven... it's just a beautiful paradox that I can't help be captivated by the concept.

That and my strengths are biology and chemistry so its just an added plus. So, I definitely dream of being a world class doctor.

Not to brag, but I know all the pulse points in the body and can name the bones of the skull in my sleep. My parents don't know that because... let's say there is a reason why I stay out of home for the majority of the day.

Are we again going to go over this? I am sick and tired of your fucking indiscipline. How I wish you could be more like Aditya... Mama's voice rung in my ears which made me close my eyes and take a shuddering breath.

Now is not the time to think about how awful you are. I repeated it in my head like a mantra, making it a point to message my brother and rant about the newest development.

Despite our parents trying to pit me against bhaiya, we were thick as thieves. We always had each other's backs and we're there to cheer each other up. Whenever our parents would scream at any of us, we would wait until they fell asleep to do something to lift the other person up. Midnight feasts, movie binge or just cuddling and imagining a future where we were away from them... That always managed to cheer me up and I knew bhaiya enjoyed it too.

I don't think we fought that much either because we were pretty close in age, with only three and a half years difference. We are pretty like-minded and scientifically inclined only he was interested in computer engineering while I was fascinated by the engineering of the human body.

It sucked that he is in IIT, Delhi while I'm so far away. We still manage to video call irrespective of the time zones but it is not the same as having the comfort of your older brother.

"I think I will take this." I handed her a battered copy of Gray's anatomy.

Tina just gave a knowing smile and I checked out. I headed to the nearby Fleming Beach Park, which is one of the most popular beaches in Maui. It was a five-minute walk from the library and the majority of the school population used to come here to hang out in the evenings.

Not that I was paying any attention to my oblivious classmates.

I headed to Kimo's Beach Shack and the owner gave me a gentle smile.

"What will it be, ku'uipo? The usual?" They asked as they wiped their hand on the dishtowel.

"'Ae." I smiled at them and they started making my favourite drink- Strawberry milkshake.

Precariously balancing my bag, the drink in one hand and my wrist-thick library book under the armpit of my other hand, I headed to the quieter side of the beach, away from the raucous.

I settle down under the shade of the palm trees and lean back against the rocks, taking in the view around me. I could see people from my school roaming around in their swimming suits either playing volleyball or surfing. As I sipped my milkshake (looking like an absolute loner, must I add) my eyes drifted to their happy faces as the joked around, laughing and having fun with their friends.

The two concepts that are so unfamiliar to me.

When I was back in India, I had a good group of friends who I would hang out with and play basketball with. It was good but shifting to a new place can strain those relationships. I do follow them on social media but seeing them enjoying and doing the things which we used to do together, it causes my heart to ache.

And I never really tried making friends here in Maui because a) The people here didn't consider me as one of them and b) My parents kept on saying it is temporary so there was no point focusing on that. Beta padhai par dhyaan do, dost aate jaate hai. My dad told me the one night I decided to express my excessive loneliness.

Thanks papa, real helpful. I shook my head, sipping my drink as I carefully opened my library book.

"You look sad." A childish voice spoke up breaking me out from my melancholy. I looked up and saw a four-year-old girl, her doe-like eyes staring down at me. She was wearing a pink summer dress and a cute bow hairband, taming her light brown hair.

"Huh?"

"You look sad... and lonely."

"I am okay, keiki... Don't worry."

The kid's eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "How did you know my name?"

My eyes widened. In the two years in Hawaii, I had learnt a little bit of Hawaiian and spoke in bits and pieces. And I'm pretty sure keiki meant 'child' in Hawaiian so you could imagine the shock I felt when her name was the literal translation of child.

Who the fuck names their child... child?

"A lucky guess. It is nice to meet you Keiki." She moved her hand forward and Keiki's hand clutched my big hand with her small ones shaking it. Her hand was as big as my palm.

"What's your name?" Keikie asked as she sat down next to me.

"I'm Aisha. And, what are you doing here all alone?"

"I came with my elder brother but he and his friends were playing and he forgot his promise to build a sandcastle with me. So I just went walking." She huffed and crossed her short arms across her chest.

"Well, your brother would be worried about you, won't he?" I asked as her eyes scan the crowd, looking for a guy who remotely looks like my little companion.

"Well, I think that's a go-good puni-shi-ment for him." She struggled with the big word.

Aisha chuckled and soon Keiki's giggles joined hers.

"You remind me of the times when I used to bother my elder brother like that. He would get so mad."

"Where is he now?" She asked as her hands fisted the sand, her eyes moving to look at the brunette.

"Well, he is in university, in a completely different country."

"Do you miss him?"

"A lot." I sighed. Her puppy eyes met mine and she reached to hold my elbow. I smiled down at her, appreciating the gesture. She opened her mouth to ask me more questions when we heard a commotion.

"KEIKI!! There you are!" A shout wafted towards us, interrupting Keiki. I saw a tall guy jogging towards us and when my eyes landed on him, I immediately recognized him.

Bryce Lahela. The golden boy of my school, with girls and guys falling for him, left, right, centre. And right now, he was approaching me completely shirtless, his abs glistening in the evening sun. He had a Polynesian tattoo wrapping around his left bicep and ending a little below his collarbone which had me feeling... uh thirsty?

Cool, cool, cool, just act like yourself.

Yeah as if that's helped you deal with your awkwardness. Her conscience snarked at her.

“Shut up.” I muttered to myself. But, I wasn’t subtle enough and Bryce turned towards me, a weird look in his eyes.

Off to a great start, Aisha. Keep up the good work. I mentally groaned as I went back to reading my library book.

"Thank god Keiki you are okay... I was so worried." He kneeled and hugged her, immediately forgetting my weird mumblings. I could feel the body heat emanating from him and suddenly, the anatomy of the kidney seemed more interesting than the hot guy beside me.

"Its okay Bryce. I was talking to my new friend." Keiki squeaked as she pulled away from the hug, two sets of hazel eyes staring at me now.

My eyes widened and I subconsciously reached to push my glasses up my nose, feeling the back of my neck heating up.

"Well, thank you so much." His voice reverberated and I swear I felt as if I would combust at the spot.

I looked up and shot a tiny smile. "No worries. Keiki here makes a nice study buddy."

I internally smacked my head. Study buddy? Really? Who uses that term now?

"Of course. Daddy says that I'm a beauty with brains." She said with a smug smile.

"Well, that's the one thing that I agree with dad," Bryce said as he settled down on her other side. The one feet distance enabled my mind to resume working.

I smiled down at Keiki and I found that Bryce was looking at me intently.

O... okay?

"Wait... You go to my school right? Lahainaluna High School?"

I nodded my head. I was about to introduce myself when his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

He was snapping his fingers when his face lightened up with recognition. "You are Aisha, right? The newbie who joined us last year I was in your chemistry class last year."

The drink almost fell from my hand and I had to clutch it tighter to prevent myself from making a bigger mess. Clearing my throat I smiled nervously. "Yeah, that's me. You are Bryce, right? You are on the basketball team, right?"

"You know me?" He asked, shocked and I could hardly stop myself from rolling my eyes.

"Duh?! You are Mr. Popular with really good looks and either people love you or hate you." I rambled off.

A small smile played on his lips. "And which category would you belong too? The love or hate category?"

I gave a shy smile. "Let's just say I'm on neutral grounds. Give me a good reason why I should like you."

"Because of my dashing looks? My tattoo?" He stretched his hands wide, gesturing towards himself. His hair caught the evening light, making it look like a halo. His hazel eyes had flecks of gold which threatened to drown me but before I could get lost in his sheer beauty, I shook my head to snap out of the daze of his presence and gave a mocking sigh.

"Aaaannnndd, he is just like other dumb jocks who is overly obsessed with his looks. Why are they all the same?"

Keiki put her hand sympathetically on my lap. "Don't worry Ash. I don't like Bryce when he talks about his looks either."

Bryce gasped. "Keiki you are breaking my heart."

"Good."

He reached for her and started tickling her which made her squeal with laughter. I had to get up so that the sand doesn't get on me, laughing at the sight. "Brryyccee!! Stopp!!"

"Not until you tell me I'm the best brother in the world."

Gasping for breath with tears in her eyes, Keiki breathed out in defeat. "Okay, okay. You are the best... brother in... the world."

Bryce pulled back a grin playing on his lips.

"Good."

My phone rang and I saw Mama's name flash on the screen which made me sigh.

"Your mom?" Bryce asked.

"Yep. should reach home before she turns into momzilla." We chuckled as I put my book into my bag.

"Bye Keiki, it was nice talking to you."

"Bye Ash. I like you. Can we make sandcastles next time?" I laughed and nodded, "Sure sweetie."

"Where is my goodbye?" Bryce pouted.

I rolled her eyes. "Bye Bryce. See you around."

And with that, I turned on her heel, and walked home, feeling much better.

PRESENT

Aisha felt like banging her head against the wall of the hospital out of utter embarrassment. In the span of 7 hours, she had pissed off her superior, met her ex from ten years ago, got stuck with a partner who hardly did anything and now managed to embarrass herself yet again in front of her role model.

Rookie... Are you hiding from me? The way Dr. Ramsey had an eyebrow raised, as if to question why she was hiding behind another intern and the appalled expression as she stumbled over her words were forever imprinted in her mind.

Not my brightest moment. Aisha recollected as she sighed at the way she stuttered and finally came up with an excuse.

I'm doing charts. She mocked herself as she shook her head. There was a table right next to me!! I could have come up with anything but that weak ass excuse.

And she had always dreamed that if she were to meet Bryce in real life, she would definitely insult the fuck out of him and then for the finishing stroke, she would probably punch him in his handsome face or kick him in the crown jewels.

But sadly, you seldom get the things you wish for.

I don't have time for this - Main kya gadhi hoon. She mentally groaned as she tried to shut off the part of her brain which was so hell-bent on making her feel humiliated.

She entered Annie's room to find her curled up in her bed, playing idly with her phone. She perked up a little when she saw Aisha, forcing a smile on her face.

"Oh. Hi, Dr. Khurrana."

"I just came by to see how you're feeling Annie."

Annie shrugged. "The same. The nurse came by and gave me some medication a little while ago.."

Opening Annie's chart she checked. "Yeah, antibiotics. It's too soon to see any improvement yet, but hopefully, we'll see some results soon."

Aisha was about to turn on her heel and leave when she heard Annie's small voice. "hey, could you stay awhile? It's... kinda lonely, being here all on my own."

Aisha gave an empathetic smile and reached to sit down on the chair near her bed. "Of course I can."

"Thank you once again doc."

"No, thank you. I haven't been off my feet since I got out of bed this morning. So Annie," Aisha leaned forward, "what are you studying?"

Annie blinked as if she was confused by the question. She took a couple of heavy breaths before attempting to answer.

"My master's is in... English... but my... my..." She swayed, her voice woozy as she tried to finish her sentence.

Aisha was on alert. "Annie, are you feeling okay?" She asked as she felt her pulse which was dropping before Annie passed out.

The heart rate monitor sounded a long, flat tone as her heart stopped.

"OH MY GOD!! Code blue, I need some help here!!" Aisha shouted, pressing the button near her bed.

"C'mon Annie stay with me." As Aisha stood on the nearby stool, performing CPR as she waited for the code team to arrive.

"Aisha?!" Jackie's shocked voice made her lookup.

"Jackie, where is the code team?"

"Room 502 called a code blue just before you. Just keep up with CPR. They'll get to you when they can!"

Aisha's eyes flashed. "That could be too late!! Help me, Jackie we are losing her fast."

"What were her symptoms?" Jackie asked as she snapped on the latex gloves and moved towards the bed.

"Symptoms were headache and nausea. Started during her vacation to Indonesia. Aurora and I did a blood workup and gave her cefpodoxime." Aisha opened the gown and Jackie's eyes narrowed in on the rash rapidly spreading on the side of the body.

"She is breaking in hives. She is in anaphylactic shock!"

"Now that I think about it, it may be because of her allergy to the antibiotics I gave... I had fucking asked her, dammit." Guilt made her chest heavy.

Jackie's face turned into a scowl as she wheeled the defibrillator cart closer. "It doesn't matter whose fault it is. This girl needs you now! We have to get her heart started ourselves."

Aisha nodded as she opened Annie's gown, baring her chest. She took a steadying breath. You have done this numerous times in AIIMS, you can do this.

Taking the paddles, she placed one paddle on the right side, beneath her collarbone and the other paddle on the left side, just beneath her armpit.

A small impressive smile made its way on Jackie's lips. "Good, now set the charge."

"Charging to 300 volts... Clear!"

Annie's body spasmed as the paddles discharged. Keeping them aside, Aisha resumed her compressions on Annie's chest.

C'mon Annie... You can do this... Come back to me. Aisha prayed.

The monitor beeped twice before Annie's heartbeat returned, accelerated but constant.

She let out a sigh of breath as she bent over the bed. Jackie clapped her back. "You are soooo lucky."

"Shut up. Now just give her an epinephrine injection and intubate while I maintain compression."

Jackie nodded her head and Aisha shot a grateful smile as she continued her compressions, her hands aching.

"What the hell is going on in here, Rookie?"

Yikes. Aisha winced at the tone and looked up to find Dr. Ramsey glaring from the doorway.

Time to own up, buddy. She sighed and spoke up. "Dr. Ramsey, she was allergic to the antibiotics I prescribed.

She couldn't gauge his reaction from so far away. "Well... at least you are taking responsibility. Sometimes patients don't know about their own allergies. That's why you always have to be cautious."

Jackie injected the epinephrine pen into Annie's tight. Still unconscious, Annie took a shuddering gasp of air.

"And now we intubate."

"Excellent work, Doctor...?"

A self-satisfied smile made its way on Jackie's face. "Varma."

"You were assigned to this case?"

"No, I was passing and I hear Dr. Khurrana calling a code blue."

A smile made its way on his face which shocked Aisha. This man voluntarily uses his facial muscles to smile? I wouldn't have known. "The patient's very lucky you were here. I'm not confident Dr. Khurrana could have handled this alone."

Now, wait a damn minute... Aisha clenched her jaw. This wasn't her first time she was getting insulted and yeah it was called for but it didn't help her feel any better either.

Jackie bit her lip and glanced at Aisha, which Aisha pointedly ignored. Watch her jump at the opportunity in 3...2...1

"Thank you. Just doing my job, Dr. Ramsey."

There it is.

Gulping down her annoyance, Aisha spoke up. "Dr. Varma really bailed me out." Aisha turned towards Jackie and nodded stiffly. "Thank you, Dr. Varma."

Jackie tried to read her, guilt swimming in her eyes.

She should be guilty, she took the credit of the save when I was the one calling the shots.

"...Anytime."

Fuck you. She narrowed her eyes slightly which made Jackie wince.

Luckily, Dr. Ramsey gave Jackie an out. "Dr. Varma, you should return to your patients."

A relieved smile made its way on her face. "Yes, Doctor." Throwing a backward glance towards Aisha, she walked out.

Dr. Ramsey swivelled towards Aisha, his face drawn tight with annoyance. "And you... you need to have a long hard think about whether or not you're ready to be here. It doesn't matter that it's your first day, or that you're still learning. Whether this girl lives or dies is on you. Is that clear?"

"Crystal, Dr. Ramsey."

"You still have no idea what's wrong with her, and your first attempt nearly killed her. This is the real world. No room for mista--"

"Hi, Dr. Ramsey? Sorry to interrupt." A short Asian intern interrupted him and Aisha let out a small sigh of relief.

This guy would give my parents a run for their money. Why do I meet assholes everywhere I go?

"For the love of God, what now?"

"One of the nurses told me... that one of the other interns told them... that one of the doctors said..."

Dr. Ramsey certainly didn't enjoy beating around the bush. With a biting voice, sharp enough to make both Aisha and the intern to flinch, he commanded. "Skip to the point."

"Dr. Toussaint needs to see you urgently." She rushed.

Dr. Ramsey pinched the bridge of his nose, muttered something about 'interns' under his breath.

Straightening his coat, who gave pointedly glanced at Aisha. "Remember what I said, Rookie. Next time I see you, you'd better have solved the case." He turned on his feet and stormed out making the petite intern jump.

Aisha stepped out into the hall with the intern, leaned against the wall and let out a sigh.

"Thank god for Dr. Toussaint. I swear if he wouldn't have called, Dr. Ramsey would have burst a vein or something."

The intern leaned against the wall adjacent to Aisha. "Yeah... Too bad he doesn't actually need to see Dr. Ramsey."

Aisha's eyes widened and she turned to stare at the other intern. "Huh?"

"I made it up! I could hear Ramsey chewing you out halfway down the hall, I figured you might need a save."

Oh my god, that is the sweetest thing anyone has done for me.

Aisha smiled brightly. "Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. But you could get in serious trouble if he realizes it."

She shrugged with a cheeky grin. "If. Besides, I'm tougher than I look. I'm Sienna by the way. Or Dr. Trinh. Whichever floats your boat."

"I'm Aisha Khurrana. Thanks again." Aisha's pager beeped and she looked down and sighed. "As fun as our little adventure was, I need to get back to work. Nice talking to you Sienna and once again, thanks for the save."

"Bye, hope you solve the case. Also, wait! I heard all the doctors hang out at this bar called Donahue's. I think, just down the street. Apparently, it's like the place to go and decompress after a long shift. Wanna come?"

"Sure!! If only I survive my first shift."

Sienna gave a brilliant smile. "Assuming you live through the next few hours, I'll meet you in the atrium after we clock out."

And Aisha got back to work, tending to her other patients but Annie's unconscious face kept on flashing behind her eyelids and Ramsey's words echoed in her head, like a broken tape recorder.

You need to have a long hard think about whether or not you're ready to be here.

She took a shuddering breath, doubt slipping into her mind, making her question everything she did. Every patient she treated and every prescription she signed.

Am I really cut out for this?

She tried to stop the rising anxiety but it still continued to swell in her like a balloon. Her throat began to dry up and it felt as if the weight on her chest didn't allow her to breathe.

Oh god, it's happening.

Feeling like she was on the verge of a breakdown, she ducked into a dark supply closet so nobody could see her while she tried to pull herself together.

It's okay. You worked your way through med school to get here. You are worthy. She chanted, taking in gulps of air.

It had hardly been a minute when the door suddenly opened and she heard footsteps.

Aisha internally groaned in annoyance. "Get in or get out. Just quit holding the door." She turned around and saw Bryce.

Oh fuck.

He nervously cleared his throat and walked towards her, maintaining his distance. "I feel like I'm interrupting something. Are... are you okay?"

Thanks to the dark, he couldn't see her tear rimmed eyes. Sighing loudly she untied her hair and ran her fingers through it, something she often did when she felt like her life was on the verge of falling apart.

"Nothing. I'm just looking for something." She tried to speak in a sharp tone but it just sounded like her voice was cracking.

She knew that Bryce had definitely heard how close she was to crying. Concern laced his voice. "Hey, I know when we met I was nothing but a dumb, self-obsessed jock but it's different now. I... I know you are not okay. Want to talk about it? Or vent?"

Goddamit Bryce. "Fine! I almost killed my first patient and I fucking swear to god I saw my career flash before my eyes. But it was lowkey my fault. I should have checked for allergies. But I tried fixing my error by calling the shots and Jackie helped me. BUT that's not it! Instead of being a humble person, Jackie swoops in and takes the credit of my save and Dr. Ramsey just goes on congratulating her as if she won some fucking AMA Award-"

"Aisha, breathe."

Taking a lungful of air she continued. "- And don't even get me started on Dr. Ethan Freaking Ramsey. Duniya main maine itna bada gaandu kabhi dekha nahi hai maine. What a dick!! He should get fucking laid to work off all his anger issues-"

Bryce snorted but didn't dare to interrupt Aisha. From the short time they dated, he knew better than to interrupt her mid-rant, it only managed to instigate her.

Another deep breathe. "- Boy does he manage to make me doubt myself in every step of the way like am I worthy of being here? I mean, I threw my heart and soul into med school because I wanted to be the best doctor out there but dammit I don't think I am ready."

When he made sure she wasn't going to launch into a new roast session, he spoke up. "Wow. You managed so many years of med school, but eight hours into the shift and you're surrendering? Didn't take you for a quitter."

Excuse me? Aisha's eyes narrowed.

"You don't know me anymore Bryce. The Aisha you dated is long gone and dead." She said in a low voice.

He shrugged. "True, but I know that you still have the fire in you to do what you love the most. C'mon, you have dealt with worse but yet you are here, standing tall. This is just temporary. I know you can pick yourself back up and break down all the obstacles in front of you."

She looked up at Bryce, only able to see the faint outline of his body. He still was the same- tall, well built and with really good hair. "No offence but... you used to be the guy who would wet himself during chemistry practicals, what happened to make you so...?" She gestured her hand at him, accidentally hitting his hand.

He hesitated. "As you said, things changed and you don't know me anymore Aisha."

"Fair enough."

The lack of space and the awkward silence just fueled the tension between them. She could feel his converse bumping into her shoes and the heated gaze on her face.

There used to be a time when Aisha and Bryce would talk for hours on end and they never ran out of topics to talk about. Be it something as lame as which is the superior flavour of ice cream or as deep as life after death.

Look at us now... Aisha thought to herself, gulping.

Her hair fell on her face as she averted her eyes, unable to come up with something to talk about. Bryce's hand involuntary reached to push back the rebel strands behind her ear, his hands caressing her cheek in the process. It felt as if electric sparks shot up her cheeks, making her blush.

Bryce opened his mouth. "Aisha-"

The door opened and she heard a feminine voice. "Bryce I saw you giving me the look so I decided to join you-"

A woman walked around the corner of the help and Aisha's jaw dropped. It was not because she was shocked that he was dating, he could screw the entire hospital for all she cared but, no... she was topless.

"Oh." The unknown woman placed her hands beside her.

"Sam-" Bryce began and Aisha spoke up at the same time. "I was just-"

The confusion was interrupted again when the closet door opened again and a senior resident stood before them, aghast. "What is going on over here?"

"Oh fuck." The expletive spilt from Aisha's lips.

The topless woman, whose name apparently was Sam, quipped in. "Yeah what she said."

Well, this is totally not awkward.

AUTHOR”S NOTE #2:

Number one, yeah I dragged PB a bit in regards to Keiki’s name.. PB do your research challenge 🙄

Number two, okay so about the tattoo part, me and @bratzlahela were just talking about Bryce having Polynesian tattoos based on this post and I had to integrate it in my series lol

This is something I imagined 🤭

Number 3, Also I tried to change up the scene a bit with Jackie because tbh, Aisha is pretty fucking smart and she won’t be like “Boo-hoo. I don’t know anything” And about the part where she spoke about using the defibrillator numerous times in AIIMS, In India the medical education is a little more hands-on and focuses more on clinical practice rather than theory. Medical students from first year start doing ward duty and help around in the hospitals taking patient history, etc. Also, they have a mandatory year of internship without which you don’t get your license.

Number 4, So about that supply closet scene, how many of y’all thought would you get a make out sesh?

If yes, here is your clown wig 🤡

Number 5, AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT TODDLER KEIKI I SWEAR I WAS JUST GUSHING THE ENTIRE TIME 🥺

Lastly, IT PHYSICALLY HURT ME TO ROAST ETHAN LIKE IM SO SORRY SWEETIE 😭🥺🤧

This was a pretty long author’s note heheheh

Like, comment, reblog and share your thoughts ❤

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tskshmk · 4 years

Text

Aoba Johsai at a study group with their manager [headcanons] (female!reader)

request: Hi babe! Can I request the Aobajohsai High team doing a study group with their female manager, please and thank you! I hope you have a good day

I got youuuu, hope you like reading this!! ty for the request :)

A/N: I separated them by year because I don’t think they would be studying the same material lol, i hope that’s okay!

F I R S T Y E A R S :

kindaichi and kunimi

Kindaichi seems like the type to get above average grades. He’s not a genius but he’s not totally helpless

He can’t stand chemistry though. WHY do intramolecular and intermolecular forces sound the same but.... are SO DIFFERENT

Kunimi’s over it tbh

Like, Kunimi has TRIED to teach chemistry to him but you know him... he doesn’t care all that much

Lucky for Kindaichi, you are a chemistry GOD and you’re probably the only reason he has an A

when you guys meet up for your weekly study sessions Kindaichi usually brings snacks because he feels like the dumbest one there (awh baby)

Kunimi probably doesn’t need to study but does it anyway because it doesn’t take that much energy out of him

Plus he would feel really bad if Kindaichi failed a test and he didn’t help him tsundere type beat yktv

Even though Kunimi is really smart he kinda gets distracted easily. I don’t mean that he goes on his phone a lot, he just tends to zone out randomly while he studies

You and Kindaichi usually mess with him when he gets like that, whether it’s shooting hairties at him or trying to see how long it will take him to realize his pencil was stolen

Attacks Kindaichi whenever he’s the one that messes with him. When it’s you it will depend, because I feel like he’s a little old fashioned and thinks, “I can’t hit a girl”

THEN YOU PLAYFULLY PUNCH HIM TOO HARD AND HE GOES HAYWIRE LMFAOAOAOOA

After you guys are done studying and pack your stuff up, you guys usually eat or watch the show you guys ended up binging together one day

S E C O N D Y E A R S :

kyotani, watari, yahaba

Kyotani only shows up 50% of the time and 100% of those times Yahaba drags him to the study groups

Yahaba just wants kyo to socialize a little more, even if it’s just you four

Out of the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd years, these boys are the most likely to ALL have a crush on you, whether it’s or small or phat as HECK really depends

Who can blame them though? You’re smart, pretty, AND a fantastic manager. A whole dream girl!

Watari is the best at hiding it for some reason. He’s calm and polite to you and really really appreciates you helping him and his teammates study

they all get strangely nervous every time you explain something to them. Kind of like a mom

Kyotani gets eerily quiet when you help him. He tries to actually focus when you talk and ends up actually learning something!

Yahaba struggles a little bit in English, so you help him out with that

In turn he helps you with math because I am CERTAIN that he’s a math wizard

Most of the sessions are held at your house or Watari’s house because you guys have the best food

“Kyotani please put the chips down. We’re studying.”

“I’m not eating it,” he says, proceeding to open the mfing bag

Out of all of them, Yahaba and Kyotani are the ones that get distracted the easiest

Usually it’s because Kyotani says something and Yahaba sighs and proceeds to explain to him why he’s wrong

Then they get off topic and now both you and Watari are trying to engage in their conversation

When it’s time to stop studying, you guys play video games or bake something because Yahaba found this cake recipe he wants to try

T H I R D Y E A R S :

oikawa, iwa, matsukawa, hanamaki

Wtf is studying

It’s honestly so HARD to be the only girl in this group because you’re the only one w the power to stop them from playing around

Sometimes Iwa will help you but most of the time he’s yelling at Oikawa and getting frustrated with him

Holy HELL you swear you’re going to kick Oikawa into the wall because he will not stop talking!!!

Then you SNAP and everyone is dead silent. Wow ma’am your power!!

Anyway they all start to focus better now but Matsu and Maki are working on a problem that they keep getting wrong

So nautrally you explain it to them like the good manager and friend you are and there’s less tension lolol

You apologize for bursting but they all assure you that it’s okay because they know how stressed you can get

They only want the best for you future and theirs :)

Omg but Iwa will say something that’s SO FUNNY that you’re actually in tears

It’s probably a joke that makes fun of Oikawa and all Oiks can say is, “Wowww, some world we live in,” and gives a peace sign and pout

Iwa would be really good at history, Maki would like physics, Matsu’s strong suit is probably math, and Oikawa would be good at anatomy tbh

None of them are good at English. Okay maybe Oikawa but ONLY because he wants to go pro in volleyball and most people under English

Let’s say you’re a foreigner from America, so your English is pretty spot on

They praise you for helping them. You’re the reason they got A’s and B’s on the English exams, woohooo!

They’ll do something for you to return the favor, like treat you to your favorite coffee shop or ice cream parlor

Your boys are honestly the best despite the chaos that ensues with all of them together

Usually study sessions with them end really late, mostly because of procrastination. I mean, you’re seniors anyway. All there is to actually worry about are entrance exams so Y’all just vibe out to music or make tiktoks that Oikawa and you are bullied for LMAO

#aoba johsai #seijoh #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu #haikyuu!! x reader #oikawa x reader #iwaizumi x reader #matsukawa x reader #hanamaki x reader #kyotani x reader #yahaba x reader #watari x reader #kunimi x reader #kindaichi x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff

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spirit-shroud · 3 years

Note

what are some roles that have been largely changed for cityrune? since you said queen was an influencer now :]

hi ty for asking me im vibrating. havent gotten to talk about this au now for three years and now that chapter 2 is like real and this time i can like........draw occasionally and i have more understanding of nuance...... [grips table] [screams]

this isnt quite what you asked but heres what's everyone from chapter 1 has been Up To with a little bit of context (and under a read more bc it got LENGTHY):

kris - professional stay at home teen (they live w/ asgore n help run the flower shop sometimes. this decision was entirely bc i dont like toriel). was wrongly diagnosed w Sudden Soul Rejection when they were incredibly young and given an experimental transplanted soul as a replacement. it works for them fine, give or take having to see gaster once a month for checkups. but sometimes the soul makes them skittish n decides they're going to sit in front of the pc and play 30 consecutive hours of a certain simulation game and not even let them drown people in the pool. if it were entirely up to them, they'd be like. passing out on the sofa to documentaries about bigfoot. or practicing cool knife tricks to impress their friends at their next tabletop meetup

- EDITED IN: the soul is kind of their friend. they are wearing a hypothetical get along shirt. most of the time, they agree on actions and things to do. tends to refer to themself + their soul as we/us which originally was just something they did in their head but they kept slipping in speech/text n just became a Thing of how they talk. switches to 'I/Me' whenever smth is wrong.

- also edited in: they believe the soul they have is their original soul bc nobody has told them otherwise. whenever theyre like 'oh yeah we think about our soul n view it as a separate entity to us like. all the time. it likes to hurt if we make too many choices it doesn't seem to like and kind of forces us to be a toned down version of what we want to be but thats just how souls are haha' and everyone is like.... 'Hey Kris That's Really Not How It Is.' theyre like. 'huh. gonna ignore that for now' - this was going to be a plot point

toriel - head of H0MEWOR1D (H01)'s department of education; kind of lost her roots as a simple math teacher as she was pushed into a lot of power she didn't even really seek out. divorced asgore over some miscommunications in their relationship; also loosely as a result of grief from asriel's death

asgore - the same. runs a lil flower/gift shop. people come in more to talk with him than to buy flowers most of the time, though

asriel Flowey - he's back in flower form, thanks to the government an accident. causes a lot of technology glitches wherever he goes, and wants revenge. isn't sure how to go about it. asriel "died" around 8 years before the story takes place and kris still misses him and refuses to even THINK about even the IDEA of calling someone their sibling after what happened, just in case it somehow happens a second time

susie - more of the same really. she spends most of her time either at grillby's (she's sort of become his assistant n helps with opening/closing. it just happened) or getting into low-stakes trouble w/ kris

noelle - she's in the city's equivalent of college and shes so tired. shes So Abysmally Tired n got kinda pushed 2 follow in her mom's footsteps. she's rarely around anymore except through text or on monsters & mages (dnd) night. (however.........she will come back w/ a long break n hang out w everyone again)

berdly - tbh i didnt even consider berdly when i made the au initially. idk what he's doing. probably in a similar situation to noelle??? canonically got kicked out of the M&M group due to clashes w/ other players but lurks in their group chat to posts memes sometimes

didnt rly think of any other of kris' classmates (+ their families) after ch1 and probably will continue to not, until chs 3-5 come out and i gotta whip up roles and histories for like. a lotta guys all of a sudden. i also forgot about noelle's parents

sans - runs a convenience store that everyone kind of thinks is a front, but also it has really cheap snacks and the local teens make a point of stopping there after school. so essentially, more of the same papyrus - similar to ut. is a very polite and sweet boy but you'll know when he's coming

grillby - he's back. he runs a bar like back in ut but the cozy vibes and weird-for-a-bar hours keep attracting kids who need parents, so half of his menu is comprised of overly sweet mocktails. usually only frequented by monsters

QC - same as usual. has a "rivalry" with grillbz but, theyre besties and have a book club

mettaton - he's real and he's back. he's similar to how he is back in ut w/ his EX body. likes to hang out at grillby's and talk to unsuspecting fans. has a show for everything

napstablook - similar to how they are in ut. helps mtt with making music sometimes. doesn't leave the house too often, but spends a lot of time posting on undernet

undyne - unfortunately. more of the same. she is a cop in the monster district. i am also upset by this but couldn't think of anything better for her

alphys - a doctor studying under dr. gaster in the hopes she'll one day take over his research. she spends most of her time as a nurse with a bigger title, though, and blocks out the weirdness of her job with anime.

gaster - weird guy. H01's top soul researcher and resident House wannabe. trying to manufacture the ultimate soul that can be controlled with simple internal switches, but so far he's only had 1 (very limited) success with a certain human. monsters just melt, and darkners just sorta......get weird... he's onto Something, though.

ralsei - lonely boy with some very strange hobbies. popular on UnderNet for poetry, baking videos, and general cryptid vibe. is the DM for the monsters & mages group (also seems to think everything is actually very fine in H01 when it is very much not)

lancer - about the same. professional Round Boy. lives w/ rouxls full time. follows susie around like a lost puppy and calls himself her "underling."

rouxls - runs a hotel/casino kind of deal where the objective Bad Guys hang out, and usually ends up doing any of the spade king's paperwork.

spade king - mafia godfather. kind of a dick. don't play cards with him

seam - works with the spade king as his right hand cat more or less because they have for a lot of years and are in that 'sunk cost fallacy' zone. thinks of retiring to a quiet life in the monster section of town like, daily

jevil - used to work with the spade king, but got imprisoned for Crimes. got weird after The Accident (separate from asriel's accident)

temmies (all) - dont really get mentioned except offhandedly but they run the monster space station. so far, are the only monsters who have ever been to space.

as far as chapter 2 goes:

yeah i dont have much so far for characters. in the original version of the au i accidentally made darkners as a whole just kinda..... not great? like all sorts of weird organized crime ties n sort of going out of their way to be A Problem to the city (not even in like. a revolution way. in a working against them but with the same goals kinda way). with the whole context it worked At The Time, bc i just had the spade king to look to as a villain, and also in this au the darkners are just trying to survive a world that ultimately was not built for them (that humans think they own, and monsters sort of... seeing this and wondering what it'll mean for them whichever one wins), but w/ new info abt how the dark world works n more guys to work with i want to kind of. edit the vibe a bit. like yea darkners will ultimately do whatever it takes to take over H01, but maybe in a better way than like. idk. all this. it doesnt have to be peaceful or anything it just has to be more adaptable as we meet more kinds of darkners

however yeah i thought up 'queen as some sort of childless mommy blogger/influencer' and that completely revived all memory i had of this au. she should be on mtt's talkshow. also she sells collectible wine glasses w/ her likeness

spamton is another one of gaster's failed soul experiments, but he hasn't melted yet, and seems............fine? sort of. so he hasn't gotten decommissioned yet. he does want to give you malware tho. hot monster singles in your area n all that

im blanking on the rest of the guys but i hope any of this was comprehensible

#kc takes questions #cityrune au #idk if tumblr still autotags things but if it does i am SORRY

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metvmorqhoses · 3 years

Note

I saw your original answer to my reply and wondered why you deleted it and responded with a much shorter and perhaps untrue response. I only say untrue as you said, "I find the concept and need of sharing spiritual beliefs outside ourselves one of the lowest aspects of human culture tbh." which could be true but I'm not sure you really believe it. If only because if people never shared their beliefs there would never be mythology. Part 2 coming.

Part 2: As for what captured my interest in your blog, I originally found it by searching up Apollo and Artemis relations, and found your input on the mythos interesting. You may publish my questions as you wish or reply to me via messenger. Either is fine. Peace for now.

*** *** ***

actually my two answers meant pretty much the same, i merely rephrased in a form that, after a bit of thought, felt truer to what i wanted to share. i now see that probably my second version could be easier to misunderstand and rather obscure, as short sentences often are.

you asked at the same time a really personal and a tragically hard philosophical question, moreover to someone who focused her studies precisely on those subjects and that is therefore inclined to delve deeper.

when you ask me about my "beliefs" or "religion", i am wildly tempted to ask you in return what "spiritual beliefs" and "religion" even are. what i intend for them is probably hardly similar to anything you might intend for them, as i think should happen to anyone with real spiritual sentiments anyway. how can you even begin to understand what i think, if we don't even agree about what we are talking about? a settled, static, scientific definition of human religious impulses to this day is yet to be found. in this field, scientifically speaking, everything is a matter of opinions, and on a personal level... well, obviously it should be even more so.

and so to answer you i both needed a dissertation and to do exactly what i truly dislike, wearing the intimate as a plume of the hat.

it's actually funny you mentioned mythology anyhow. you see, there's a huge difference between the making of a religion, the dynamism, the life of it (indeed a form of sharing, but fundamentally a process that, in my opinion, was principally an artistic act at its truest core), and in people ruminating on the same "artistic products that long ago somehow turned into something more and that belonged to someone else" over and over again, marrying a cookie-cutter version of them and obsessing over it, declaiming truths their different minds and cultures have twisted or anyway could hardly understand without scholar-level education (let alone feel, as something like that should be felt), ending up not even really knowing what their religions are even truly about, wearing them as badges of honor, fighting over them as one fights over a football match, weaponizing them to support agendas and propaganda... you know, the usual stuff.

at some point in history religions ceased to be a matter of that resided in the individual hearts of hearts, becoming an easily sold product for the multitudes. the majority of religions are a masses-ready to consume echoes of other people’s emotions and dreams - and those are intimate things, unspeakable and unsheareable, at least not as one can share a sentiment about a netflix show or the weather.

religion started to be so simplified in classical times and, funnily enough, those were the times in which also people actually began to question the existence of godhood (socrates, plato). but even they weren’t participating to their own religions anymore, they were merely retelling, and academically, what the ancients had created.

mythology, ancient religions (that actually are still our major religions today by the way), are believed to have started as stories, orally told. a creative act, that then became a higher form of art and maybe a higher form of sentiment. what came first, the art or the belief the art was true? what came first, the gods or the poetry about them? the religious sentiment or the artistic sentiment? the answer might appear simple, but we have evidence that it’s hardly so.

this is the anthropological dilemma and it serves me (along with this academic premise), to answer your question, because no, the sharing i was talking about wasn’t the artistic sharing of poetry on aoidoses’ lips, nor i am against artistic impulses and their consequential sharing (even if, as a writer, art often feels too personal to be shared precisely as faith is), or the making of spirituality in the cradle of human culture, i am not against the making of religions and therefore mythologies, i am against feasting over their remains, wearing their corpses. i am against the appropriation of emotions that are probably felt too easily and to shallowly by the most, because it’s easier than truly feel, and alone, facing bravely the existential dread that has followed us as a species since the beginning. i am against the influence that parents have on children regarding spiritual beliefs. i’m against wearing our own souls outside ourselves as flags, as labels. i am against the need to affirm ourselves stating our religious truths against the other, or only approving who share ours. the list goes on and on.

and yes, i do think that the world would have been better off (and still would be) if we had the social custom of not sharing such things, not sharing ourselves so much, too much i dare say, and automatically, to whomever asks. i do think it is “one of the lowest aspects of human culture”, this need of overexposure, the normalization of sharing a thing so personal as a spiritual belief. and as normally as one would share one’s age or nationality, discussing it with a bit of timidity and a bit of temper as one discusses politics. it’s not the same thing. i find it repulsive.

i definitely didn’t answer you with something untrue by any means. i wonder why you thought it in the first place tbh. i was perhaps just trying to avoid a dissertation on why i wasn’t going to answer you, a dissertation that actually turned out very incomplete and that means very little in the face of the vastness of what i think on the matter.

i hope i clarified your doubts.

#minaim-blog #if you believe anything believe i always speak my mind on this blog #asks/replies #one and one thousand stories lis told #mythology #classicism

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mousehole5000 · 3 years

Text

more tgcf chapters 143-173 lets goooooo

PEI MING BOO HISS except actually okay he’s mostly funny i think but still boo hiss

“hey who’s this guy who’s really pissed at you?” “oh thats my sword. i broke it.” alright then!

i think i need to go back and reread the banyue pass arc bc im still confused as to whats going on with banyue and pei su

“Banyue dropped from the sky with two pots raised. Without a word, she plummeted with the mouths of the pots facing down, trapping and detaining the shocked Ming’guang and the roaring Ke Mo within.” - THATS MY GIRL

“It must be known that, to heavenly officials, it certainly was more than natural for kingdoms of the mortal realm to fight and annihilate one another; the acts of these plays progressing on endlessly. But when it came their own turn, it was often hard to let things go. If one must stand in the same court as the one who annihilated their own kingdom, and that man cavorted in the heavens, exceedingly flashy, then it must be vexing.” - hmmmm!!

“I’ve spoken too many words in this lifetime. What are you referring to?” - okay to be fair thats a mood

okay its nice to get some pei ming backstory and its funny that he and xie lian are bonding but also still whenever pei ming interacts with a female character my hackles rise like a cat lol

“Xie Lian watched as Banyue thought really hard before cheerfully pulling out a few long, wine-red scorpion-snakes, and putting them into the bubbling pot.” - THATS MY GIRL

“Although “smell” was something colourless and formless, the instant Banyue removed the pot cover, it was as if some mysterious physical object had twisted all the air around the mouth of that pot. The group stared at the sight within the pot for a long time. Their pupils reflected an endless, bottomless darkness; like it could pull them into the abyss. No words could describe the sentiment expressed within their eyes. A moment later, Xie Lian patted Banyue’s shoulder and gave a thumbs-up.” - like father-figure like daughter-figure. amazing.

“However, what if one day mortals discovered something completely new that ran faster than horses? Then, when this new invention overtook horses, worshippers of this heavenly official who controlled horses would inevitably decrease. Such heavenly officials, flashing by like shooting stars, made up the majority of the heavens.” - obsessed with this, genuinely. life and change. worship and its purpose. my religious studies diploma on my wall is screaming at me rn. ALSO i am once again thinking about celebrities

“...” It was only then that Pei Ming seemed to notice, and started to contemplate this question. A moment later, he answered, “A habit. In a dark, creepy place like this, isn’t it normal to hold women in your arms, to comfort them and calm their fears?” “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t scared,” Banyue said.” - BANYUE I LOVE YOU. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. god this takes me back to every college party i ever went to

LING WEN BACKSTORY????? shoeseller chosen for godhood bc she wrote a political essay and got arrested...... and now she’s face to face with the official who appointed her..... do go on.....

“Ling Wen laughed out loud, seeming to be enraged, and her voice dropped. “Very well! You said I couldn’t reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??” - GET HIM!!!! BOO HISS JING WEN

“Compared to you, I’m not that bad,” Ling Wen said. “You’d personally order me to stay in the Palace of Jing Wen until midnight, then turn around and say I shamelessly hang around ‘til late to harass you. Words murder without form; I was much nicer responding with blatant violence.” - ling wen im love you..... also this bit... feels Real

BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN!! FLOWER PETALS TRANSFORMATION!!! see hua cheng? look as how cool it can be when you leave the story for a little while!! bc then you get to return and make an entrance!!

“Not only can you bring forth bloody rain, you can also make flowers shower. I didn’t know that. How fun!” - cute!! and in that moment we were all xie lian

“Everyone was stunned by his deed, and Ling Wen arduously gave him a thumbs-up. ”Ol’ Pei, what a man!” Pei Ming gritted his teeth. “WELCOME!” - aww three two tumors buddies!!

okay yin yu is here and xie lian did the equivalent of asking someone when the baby is due only to find out theyre not pregnant at all. then rong guang taunts yin yu and no one says anything. i do love the amount of awkward moments in this book tbh sometimes there are no words.

“All around was sand and mud crushing at him, exceedingly suffocating. The sand and mud was also moving endlessly; the feeling was like he was swallowed into the stomach of a giant monster, and that monster had also eaten a bunch of other things besides him, tumbling everything in its stomach, trying to digest” - ooooh creepy!!! the red string thing... is cute.... also xie lian being able to see hua cheng’s butterfly vision by looking directly into his eye is kinda cool. and obviously homoerotic.

“Are lower-ranked heavenly officials below other people?” Quan Yizhen asked. “No,” Yin Yu replied. Were they not? It was obvious that he himself didn’t believe in his own words, and Quan Yizhen also noticed. A good while later, he said bluntly, “I don’t like it here.” Yin Yu said nothing.” - im having emotions. and then yin yu also saying he doesnt like it there either.... also idk how this scene is going to play out but as much as im enjoying quan yizhen being an icon i can also possibly see how yin yu could eventually get to the point of “i am tired of being nice. i do just want to go apeshit” even if he really cares about qyz. it happens </3

“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.” “Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked. “We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.” - quan yizhen king of taking things literally. also why did this turn into hualian having a movie night

jian yu seems like the kind of asshole who would purposely give someone regular soda when they specifically asked for diet soda. god yin yu is really having a bad day i really feel for him in the whole situation with the brocade immortal

awww okay at least jian yu tried to take responsibility. im still mad at him tho that was objectively a terrible idea. god this whole situation sucked :(

“Rocks and earth crushed at them from all around, forcing their bodies to press tightly against one another, their faces brushing, their ears warm. Although it wasn’t the right time, a thought flashed through Xie Lian’s mind: “‘To die buried together’ doesn’t feel so bad.” - okay... im kind of emotional.... gay people....

okay obviously these murals and the prince of wuyong have some connection (im guessing pretty direct) to xie lian and are important but everytime they start analyzing one i feel like im back in art history class fhadskfhskjdhf not that thats a bad thing!! i liked art history a lot tbh

“Don’t worry, they’re not human,” Hua Cheng said. “It’s precisely because they’re not human that we have to worry, alright….” Xie Lian thought.” - goth ghost bf problems

xie lian: well, there is one person i trust more than anyone else, someone who’s first in my mind hua cheng, oblivious: oh :/ xie lian, also oblivious: what? hua cheng: you shouldnt trust so easily its dangerous xie lian: oh. haha. yeah. well. wanna,,, know who it is? hua cheng: its :) fine :) it :) doesnt :) matter :) but of course you can tell me if you want to gege xie lian, internally: well now ive made it weird hua cheng, 5 minutes later: actually i need you to tell me. right now. its totally for your security me: gay people smh

“As they suspected, he had been captured by Qi Rong. Although no one was bound by ropes, there were balls of greasily green ghost fires hovering over every one of their heads.” - completely off track but anybody else remember the great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts song

“Could there actually come a day when Qi Rong was embarrassed that someone might see the manner in which he ate? Before Xuan Ji entered, she put Guzi down. Guzi, ta-ta-ta, ran in, rushing straight to Qi Rong’s side. But when he saw him, he pointed his finger. He cried, “Dad is eating bad things in secret again!” “I’m not!” Qi Rong retaliated.” SCREAM IS QI RONG LEARNING THE POWER OF LOVE NOOOO also god that poor man whose body he has im starting to doubt if he’ll ever be free jimmy novak flashbacks

everytime we get another ghost king power somewhere someone should be writing hua cheng the cyborg bf in a high tech futuristic au i think thats the only other potential setting that could truly capture this wild ride

“In truth, throughout history, there was no man in the world who didn’t love bragging. A breeze could blow the handkerchief of a brothel girl into a man’s hand, and he would turn around and say the most beautiful of renowned escorts had fallen in love with him; holding shoes and wiping benches for the emperor’s mistress’s uncle’s grandson’s cousin’s mistress would for sure become him being an important administrator at the residence of royal relatives, raising his status. Thus, men who didn’t brag were a rare species.” - SCREAM this is going in my favorite tgcf quotes folder god... mxtx come here let me shake your hand

read the story of rain master yushi huang’s ascension. why am i crying. also this bit im crying again me with my stuffed animals “Thus, while Yushi Huang was cultivating at the Temple of Yulong, every time when she went to seek water and passed that door, she would rub the head of that ox. The door knocker soaked in her essence of life, and when the Rain Master ascended, the ox ascended with her.”

okay thats enough for now i have 7 more chapters to book 4!!! woo!!!

#tgcf liveblog #bedtime now but im excited to be moving on #mouse mumbles

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edwad · 4 years

Note

Including Marx and all of his "descendants" there is a shit ton of theorists and a ton that disagree on quite a bit. If you had to recommend certain thinkers to not waste time on who would that be, and If you were to recommend people to pay attention to who would that be? I started reading Heinrich after you referencing his work and It has been very helpful in understanding Marx.

first of all, despite the fact that my reading of marx is objectively Good and True, you’re obviously asking for my one-sided opinion so be aware that that’s what you’re getting.

second of all, i don’t think there are any theorists that are a total waste of time to read tbh. even my least favorites hold some sway in the secondary literature and their influence has to be reckoned with to some degree. being totally ignorant of them doesn’t put you at any kind of advantage.

but with both of those things out of the way, here are my lists

bad theorists to not waste (too much) time on

the monthly review school (sweezy, baran, magdoff, foster). as someone that sunk a decent amount of time into studying this camp a few years ago when i still read marx as an economist, nowadays i see almost 0 utility in their work. i think their body of theory rests on erroneous assumptions that can’t be justified through reference to marxs work or real historical development. beside their economics, they also really push a bizarre eco-socialist rhetoric that really stems from engels’ dialectics of nature, which is, imo, really untenable.

traditional marxian political economy (dobb, meek, cockshott, etc). another camp i spent too much time on, the majority of respected academic marxist economists in the 20th century come from this approach of reading marx as a kind of radical ricardian and have their roots in the history of economic thought, which allows them to come across as much more knowledgeable and serious than they should actually be taken to be. this group reads marxs immanent critique of political economy as a political economic critique of capitalism, getting him totally wrong. the understanding of value is substantialist and redundant, leading many from this camp to be end up sympathetic to the sraffian/neo-ricardian project.

fundamentalist marxist political economy (m roberts, cockshott, s williams, choonara, kliman, etc). more or less a contemporary offshoot of what i just talked about, but which buckled down on the traditional reading of marx against the implications of sraffa’s work and generally without the benefit of a deep familiarity with the history of economic thought. marxs project is understood as a critique of individual political economists and the capitalist system, but at the end of the day he is still read as a political economist that is more or less on ricardian turf. some of these names are better than others, but there is definitely an unresolved tension in their collective approach between marxs uniqueness as a theorist and the historical theorists he’s allegedly merely building on.

postoperaismo, immaterial labor theorists (late negri, hardt, mason, lazzarato). this group attempts to go beyond marx in order to theoretically account for the changing dynamics of capitalism in the late 20th century, but ultimately the marx they’re going beyond is the marx of the traditional interpretation, meaning that they never really grapple with marxs critical social theory or his theory of value, which for him was always-already incapable of direct empirical measurement, something these theorists chalk up to the historical development of immaterial forms of labor rather than the nature of the thing itself.

the 2nd international (kautsky, bernstein, etc). maybe the errors of this group are obvious enough to most people that this doesn’t really need to be said, but reading these theorists after marx, and especially after his unpublished manuscripts (the paris manuscripts, grundrisse, etc where you get to see his sympathies laid out more clearly) you begin to see how everyone involved in the 2nd international was involved in a campaign of reducing marx down to a crude caricature of a serious theorist (not intentionally, but it was definitely the result of their combined effort). these people really were simpletons lmao. i suppose lenin and luxemburg can be treated as exceptions, but not to the point of being on my Need To Read List, because i think ultimately they fall back on many of the same problems (largely due, in part, to the lack of access to the above manuscripts which would be a problem for several more decades).

engels. the one i will be murdered for. but i really do think that engels’ later work is seriously dumbed down theoretically, and that he, as the official representative of marxs work after 1883 and with some of the same limitations, solidified the traditional interpretation passed down to the 2nd international. his earlier work, despite its problems, is where he shines through the most. after all, it was engels who wrote the first communist critique of political economy in 1843 which pushed marx down that same path. but in his later years, he begins speaking positively of political economy, as if its aims were the same as his and marx’s, or as if it simply had to be used by the right hands. this doesn’t make him a traitor to the cause or anything like that, but it does make him, despite their obvious closeness, an unreliable interpreter of marx. that being said, he’s completely unavoidable and his interpretation of marx stood as the official canon and entry point to marxism at the turn of the 20th century. read him, but don’t be a weird engels fan

how to speedrun marx

neue marx-lektüre (backhaus, reichelt, heinrich). the supremely good shit. highly marxological. corrects a lot of problems associated with the traditional reading. glad you like heinrich! i would honestly probably recommend reading sam chambers’ there’s no such thing as the economy to follow up on heinrich with. he does a good job of grounding some of it a bit and also provides a decent summary of the NML. one of the other benefits of the NML is that its explicitly concerned with the critique of the state.

wertkritik (kurz, trenkle, postone, krisis, exit!). good, worth engaging with, but not perfect. postone is probably the strongest theorist related to this tradition imo but their collective merit is in pushing some of the categories further than was typically done, like postone’s treatment of absract time. unfortunately, the theory of value itself is generally weak among these thinkers and they really need to be grounded by the NML in order to hold much utility. you can read heinrich’s critique of postone for a bit more info on this.

big tent value/social-form theory (rubin, milios, murray, arthur, bellofiore, eldred). all (except rubin, who was first) are in some way indebted to the NML but generally come to their similar positions in different ways. unoists would technically belong here but they’re weird and think abstract labor is transhistorical.

open marxism (holloway, bonefeld, o’kane, cleaver). whenever maoists talk about how MLM constitutes a higher scientific development over plain ole ML, this is what open marxism does to everything else on this part of the list. they’re also much more explicitly politically inclined, which is always nice. as an outgrowth of the NML, the state debates are very central to this tradition.

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hedgefairy · 3 years

Text

Well hello there. While I'm waiting for that breeches video I've been talking about to finally upload, here's

Bridgerton, Episode 4

Phew, half time!

If you've missed the other ones, the tag is Bridgerbore, btw.

Okay, so we start of with Dukey who's going home-ish because drama and heartbreak in the last episode. Stop pretending, nobody takes your pouting seriously! We all know it's twu wuv!

Erm. So, I know, I'm white and this is a delicate matter, but I gotta say I'm not super happy about the whole POC-justifying explanation here. I'd much rather have no explanation at all, it worked perfectly well in Merlin, and this is just as much historically inspired fantasy just with less magic, which I'm honestly quite upset about. I'd be far more okayer with the costumes and overall ugh-ness if there was magic.

But honestly, I'm not a fan of shoehorning that explanation in (it doesn't seem to come up in the books, either, where everyone is basically a baguette in terms of whiteness). The fact that the implications aren't discussed any further makes it even worse. We're talking about the British empire here, and while POC are apparently part of the society (but with more pressure, which... no, this is not how nobility works) the wealth and luxury of this age still stems from the exploitation of POC everywhere else. How isn't there a revolution going on? How is this not talked about? From all I see, Bridgerton is a fluffy, pastel, nice alternate version of the 1800s, and I don't get why anyone would put politics in there instead of just doing what TV tropes refers to as "colourblind casting" and be done with it. Either you do the alternate history thing thoroughly, or you just cast people for being pretty (and maybe good actors) instead of the idea the audience might have about a character's skin colour and have weird costumes and just roll with it.

Also the Queen's marriage seems to suck. I would have liked a deeper, more heartbreaking connection between George III and her, especially because I saw how my Grandmother suffered when she gradually lost my Grandfather to dementia, and it would have been a scene where we could see Charlotte as a person rather than a weird plot device in tafetta and bling, but no, she just seems as annoyed and bored and snappish as ever.

This is getting far too serious. Where's the snark?

We get some Tchaikovsky in the background, which is weird, tbh. Yes, I'm perfectly fine with them covering Top 40s hits and using waltzes from the 1950s, but I draw the line at something from the second half of the 19th century! It's not right! It screams its time of origin all over the place, and even worse, most of the characters would probably actually get to hear it later in their lives, it's not a decent anachronism, it just feels like bad research! This is serious business!

No really, where's the snark?

Oooh, I get it now. That was when I was really, really done with bingeing this show. Yes, I tried to get through as much of it as possible in one sitting. The notes read, in very shaky handwriting

I cannot possibly take more than that

in one day

, so let's continue a few days later when I felt like I could muster the courage to face it again.

So yes, I'm pretty sure this waltz is to young for this show.

Aww, look at that, flirting over cheese! I also like that one of the Featherington girls (I can't really tell the non-Pennys apart) has a suitor, they deserve nice things, too.

The musicians are a mood.

WTF with the hair and the strass. We don't like the strass. Make it go away.

I love Prince Freddy. The poor boy. It's doomed from the start!

Ah, Dukey (also at the ball, even though he was whining about things earlier) gets a heartbeat in the background, because twu wuv.

Middle Bridgerbro goes and meets with the Bohéme. I want more of that! That's finally interesting! That's my people! There's a cool bohemian lady with a pretty dress! People look interesting! Aaaah!

There's a random 18th century burlesque singer at this Regency ball, we need to talk about this. Oooh, it's Opera Girl! Cue Lord B turning into even more of an idiot while Ma Bridgerton tries to hook him up otherwise.

Of course Philippa (that's one of the Featherington Girls) can't possibly have anything nice. Thanks, Dad. You don't get to marry someone you like, that's the people across the street's thing! (by which I of course mean the Bridgertons, just in case anyone forgot the location layout here.)

Eloise is being weird to the housekeeper.

"Are you not supposed to be the smart one", the housekeeper retorts and I'm feeling it, followed by a "WTH, hero" about how servants are too busy to be Gossip Girl, you privileged prat. I think I actually snorted.

Penny gossips with Ducktail Colin, but he's more interested in Cousin, whose dress looks like it was made from the cheap curtains my ex best friend had in his first semester at uni, and God, I hate Daphne's kerchief.

Poor Prince Freddie is trying to propose to Protagonis Girl but of course there's Dukey in the background so she simply must run outside as dramatically as possible where he can find her as she equally dramatically rips the necklace Freddie gave her from her milky white throat. P&P-ish banter ensues. Yawn.

Dukey: * broods *

Daphne: * dramatically exits *

Dukey: * romantically follows her*, and oooh, snogging ensues, oooooh, instant second base, but Bridgerbro the Eldest (known also as Lord B) intervenes.

Lord B: "Marry her!"

Dukey: "I can't!"

Lord B: "Bitch!"

Dukey: "I can't!"

Lord B: "I want satisfaction!"

Me: "Don't we all"

Daphne: "You'd rather die than marry me?!"

(the fuck with her hair)

Middle Bridgerbro is still at the Bohéme-party, and still draws (naked people!). Gay vibes ensue, it's cute. This is Netflix after all, and it took four episodes to get some LGBTQ+ representation!

The Featherington's housekeeper looks a lot like O'Brien from Downton.

Cousin tells Penny about what a cutie Ducktail Colin is, also Penny's "night gown" is really cute (it's not a night gown. She's still wearing stays. It's also the only thing in the whole series that fits her well so far). Penny is super upset but gets interrupted by a hyperfocused Eloise. They fight, and Penny goes on about being mature and not being a "pretty Bridgerton", and that Eloise wouldn't understand. I get her, though, and really, having a perfect family and a "bad" family is such lazy writing.

Somber blah blah between Lord B and Daphne happens and Middle Bridgerbro gets dragged into it. He's informed that his life is pretty much over either way (either way being Lord B dying or being exiled for killing Dukey in the scheduled duel) because his oder bro basically just wants out of his duties. Sucks to be him.

Boxing Bro has to host a frustrated, possibly blueballed Dukey and offers himself up as a second for the duel.

Lord B goes and pleads with Opera Girl to get back with him (doooooon't) because of his little duelling plot and of course intercourse ensues. Girl, where's your self-respect?

Lord F comes into his dark study (we haven't seen much of him yet overall, he probably was too busy gambling) and hark, there's Lady F like the mafia boss I feel she should be, wo berates him about said gambling and that they're broke and how much he sucks. He starts crying, thumbs up for male vulnerability!, but it's kinda played for laughs via her awkward patting of him. Because of course (and I bet the late Daddy Bridgerton would never have lost his composure like that, but he didn't gamble, either, and these are the Featheringtons)

Lord B leaves Opera Girl for THE DUEL (I feel like this almost deserves a ™ by now).

We get gallopping horses! The drama! The panache! Daphne asks Ducktail Colin where it's going down because she wants to stop them, insert pandering feminist ranting about her choosing her own life but I don't really feel it and I wonde where her bangs go when she sleeps because her hair looks so different all of a sudden.

Lord B makes Middle Bridgerbro promise to care for Opera Girl in case he dies.

More gallopping horses! Daphne and her billowing cloak are pretty epic, to be honest, and there's Ducktail Colin on her heels. It's basically a family outing now!

Ugh, I like the seconds in this duel so much more. They should just off and go for a pint or something and leave Lord B and Dukey to their misery.

Duelling protocol ensues. Ten steps, blah blah, nice camera work, though.

Daphne full on rides into her brother's bullet, but she's fine (it would have been so dramatic, can you imagine? It would have been interesting!).

Oh no, they were seen (by her romantic rival, back when they had the dramatic make-outery in the park at the ball after the botched proposal. Sorry, Cressida is such a much better name than Daaaaphneeee. I have a RPG character called Cressida, I might be biased.), she's ruined if they don't marry!. and so she is basically emotionally blackmailing him into marrying her. But he can "never give [her] children!", and goes on how she deserves a household full of love like her family home because the Bridgertons are such a perfect family. God, they all annoy me so much.

Daphne ends the duel by saying that the Duke and her are to be married, with a pained facial expression, no less. I think I just wanna throw a pie in her face or something.

And that concludes Episode 4. That was a long one! Only four more to go! So this is

To be Continued!

Thank you for making it this far with me!

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nad-zeta · 4 years

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Match up (｡◕‿◕｡)

mg Hi 😅

I read through some of your matchups and I love them! So I like to ask one myself now. It’s my first time actually asking for a matchup so I hope im doing it right.

So I’m a 5'3 female and I’m cruvy (proud of my curves) long dark blonde hair and blue-grey eyes. The mbti test said I’m a INTJ but I doubt it😂. I’m pretty shy and quite around strangers but once I opened up after some time I’m really funny, sarcastic and I like to play pranks on my family and my friends. I have a strong personality and I say what I think and state my opinion but at the samw time I cry pretty easily (you could say I’m a crybaby 😅). I’m always there for my friends when they need help or advice. In social situations I get really really nervous and my voice gets shaky. I hate injustice and will always stand up for the people I care about. I would say I’m kind, nice and polite in front of strangers but very quiet. I can get stressed easily and I am not a pleasant person when stressed. I get angry and pissed of real quick. I curse a lot… Like everyday but it gets worse when I’m stressed or annoyed 😅. But anyways I love music, I especially love to sing (I kinda sing every day 😂). I like to read, right now I a book about solved and unsolved crimes, besides that I lile to watch Netflix. I prefer a quiet relaxing night watching Netflix or reading a book over go to parties. I love to learn new languages at the moment I learn dutch in school. I really love history, true crime, horror, languages and psychology. After school I want to either study History or criminology. I absolutely hate group projects but if I have to work in a group, I always take the lead and can get quite bossy. I had a rough childhood I don’t trust men easily because of some things that happend and I’m scared of getting hurt once I fall in love. Oh and I’m pretty clumsy, I don’t get hurt everyday but at least three times a week or so😂

Ooff I didn’t wanted this to be so long😂

Okey, I think that’s it ☺️ I apologize for my english it’s not my first language 😅. Take your time ☺️ you don’t need to hurry

Thank you so much. I really look forward to the matchup☺️😂 And I wish you a nice day (or night)

Hi hi, love! Hope you are doing well, thanks so much for the request! I hope you enjoy it! Hehe sorry for taking so long! I had so much fun writing this up for ya!

So I Match you with…………… Mitsuhide

The first time Mitsuhide saw you, he was captivated by your long blond hair and blue-grey eyes. Like all this boy wanted to do way play with your hair…. And that was exactly what he did. After war council, when you were named as the new Oda princess, he walked up to you and took a stand of your long hair between his fingers and started twirling it. It was so sold and silky. Of course as per the standard procedure for the sneki boi he started teasing you while playing with your hair, which made your face break out into the most beautiful blush. TBH Mitsuhide didn’t mind that you were shy, in fact, he loved it, as every day he would run into you and tease you mercilessly just to see your facial expressions… He would always smile his sneki boi smile at you when you would try your best to make conversation with him, he couldn’t help but tease you a little for the way your voice shook out of nervousness.

It took you a while to warm up and get talking to the people around you luckily for you, Mitsuhide took you under his wing. He would always be there to back you up whenever Hideyoshi would suspect you, or scold you. One day as Hideyoshi was micromanaging you yet again, Mitsuhide popped out of nowhere to come to your aid. He knew you weren’t a spy and that the reason you never really spoke much, was because you were shy. Hideyoshi was convinced the nervous shake in your voice whenever you interacted with him was because you were scared of him finding out your true identity. It wasn’t until you started tearing up midway through yet another accusation session, that the mama bear realised that you weren’t a spy, but a sweet kind shy girl who was just too nervous about being put into a new situation and having to interact with new people.

At the sight of your tears, Mitsuhide gave Hideyoshi an icy glare and led you away to your room. “Its alright little mouse, there is no reason to be shy or afraid of us, much less of the mother hen,” He then used his sleeve to gently wipe away your tears while giving you a small pat on the head

It was also then when he announced that he was your new teacher. Nobunaga had put him in charge of you to make sure you would get well adapted to the castle life and the runnings of things, as you see Nobunaga had also noticed that you were a bit shy and wanted to make things a little easier for you. Especially after he had witnessed you breaking out into tears at Hideyoshi’s scolding session. Honesty what was this Mitsuhide going to do with you, you were honestly just too cute.

Mitsuhide taught you everything from a few fighting moves, to subjects such as Politics and economics. As the two of you spent more and more time together, this sneki boi just couldn’t help but fall madly in love with you. You were truly a curious creature, he even loved how clumsy you were. Your clumsiness even had mama bear worried for you, as you were the type to trip on flat ground or accidentally bump yourself against the sharp corners of tables. It was also due to your accident-prone clumsiness that the Kitsune would insist on holding your hand whenever the two of you would go out to the market together, especially after a certain incident.

It was a warm sunny day, and you and Mitsu decided to take a break from your economics lesson and go into town for some tea. You were happily chatting with Mitsuhide when all of a sudden you tripped over a small rock. You tumbled forward and fell straight towards the road. As you looked up, you saw a horse, headed straight towards you, and your life flashed in front of your eyes. You squeezed them shut and braced for impact. Yet the fall never came, and you were never trampled by the oncoming horse. You curiously opened one eye to see two extremely worried golden orbs staring back at you. Mitushide had caught your waist and snaked his arms around you, and your body was now flush against you as he cradled you protectively in his arms, “Just what am I to do with you, my clumsy little mouse.” He smirked down at you, and you broke out into the biggest blush, the two of you were so close, and your heart was beating out of your chest. Mitsuhide released you from the warm embrace and wrapped his large hand around your smaller one while smiling at you, “This way, I can protect you from your own clumsiness little one; honestly, I can’t believe the mother hen through a sweet, clumsy little mouse like you could ever be a deadly assassin.”

As time passed, you found yourself opening up more and more the Kitsune, and soon you revealed your true personality to him. It happened one day as he was teasing you over a cup of tea. What he didn’t expect was for you to make a playfully sarcastic comeback, this boi was shook. Finally, it was your turn to smile triumphantly at the small blush now forming on Mitsu’s cheeks. “What is it Mitsu, you like to play with fire but can’t take the heat.” Mitsuhide recovered quickly, and soon the two of you were playfully flinging sarcastic comments at each other, he really enjoyed this side of you. What he loved, even more, was that it was a side that you showed him and him only. The more he discovered about your personality, the more he fell head over heels for you. Like how you enjoyed pulling pranks on people.

The two of you often teamed up during banquets to prank your new warlord friends, it wasn’t uncommon for the two of you to be caught in fits of laughter at a prank well executed. The oda forces were always shook to see Mitsuhide genuinely laughing and smiling whenever he was around you, but honestly, he couldn’t help it, you were absolutely hilarious. Your jokes had him clenching his stomach in uncontrollable laughter, who would suspect that such a shy little creature would be so full of delightful surprises.

Honestly at this point, you were also head over heels for sneki boi, after what had happened in your past, you were scared and hurt and it took you a long time to trust Mitsuhide, but you knew he was the one. This Kitsune managed to sneak past the wall you had built around your heart and made himself right at home. At this point, Mitsuhide thought he had seen every side of his beloved mouse, but boy was he wrong.

As the two of you were walking hand in hand to your favourite tea house, a shopkeeper had waved Mitsu over to talk business. You gave Mitsuhide a reassuring smile and said that you would sit over on the bench across the street and wait for him. He was a little reluctant, but after you gave him a reassuring smile, he decided to solve the problem as quick as humanly possible, so that he could get back to giving you his undivided attention. You sat down on the bench and looked up at the sky when you heard some lesser warlords talk about Mitsuhide. You strained your ears to hear what they were saying. They were busy speaking very poorly of the man you loved and were busy spreading false rumours. You honestly hated injustice, especially when it was aimed towards those who you held dear.

You stood up and walked over to them, you gave them a piece of your mind, when things started to escalate. Mitsuhide heard the commotion, and when he turned his head to look for you, he found you pissed off and swearing at the group of men. His eyes widened, he had never expected such language to come out of his dearest mouse’s mouth. Although soon his shock morphed into a curious smile, that was just like you, to surprise him with something new out of nowhere. He walked a bit closer intending to pull you out of the situation, when you had confessed your love for him during the heated debate with the men. HE was shocked, you loved him?

After regaining his composure from the sudden confession he sneakily made his way up to you and wrapped his arms around your waist. When the men had spotted the kitsune they ran for the hills, it was one thing talking badly about him behind his back but to his face… They knew Mitsuhide was a dangerous man, and they definitely didn’t want to make an enemy of him. You were so confused at the men just running off when you felt Mitsuhide wrap his arms around you, “Could you repeat that last statement you had made little mouse, I’m afraid I was too far away to hear it correctly, as I think my ears have been playing tricks on me.” You were now blushing profusely, you slowly turned around in his arms, not daring to look him in the eye when you muttered a small “I love you.” You didn’t even have time to react when this boy had your lips captured in a heated kiss. As he pulled away, he whispered those words you had longed to hear from him for a long time “I love you to my precious clumsy beautiful little mouse.”

The two of you made the cutest couple, and Mitsuhide would spend every moment of his free time with you. He loved learning new things about you, like how you would sing every day. He loved your voice, and how that soft, soothing melody would fill his room and instantly wash away the exhaustion of his day. Often he would just stand and listen to you softly sing as you worked and he would let those soft words piece through him and melt away his tiredness before moving on to his next meeting. Other times he would trap you in his arms and gently stroke your hair while insisting you sing a song for him.

When he found out you were a fan of criminology and used to watch and read books about crimes and unsolved cases he was over the moon. His speciality was basically solving puzzles and stopping bad guys that wanted to hurt his friends. You loved It when he would tell you stories of his latest mission uncovering the assassin’s motives and stopping them, you even managed to give some input as to where potential evidence could be hidden. Mitsuhide loved the way your eyes lit up when he would tell you about past missions he worked on, that was particularly tricky. Finally, he had found a woman that loved him for him, who had an interest in his life and that never judged him but accepted him with open arms.

Both of your are creatures of comfort and quiet, so it is not uncommon for the two of you to be nestled up in each other’s arms each doing your own things. You would rest your head on his chest and read while he would have his chin propped up to rest on your shoulder, while his arm was snaked around your waist as he would write his reports. Ever so often, he would give you a sneaky little kiss in between his writing.

Often you could be found with your head resting in the crook of sneki boi’s neck as he spends hours and hours just pulling his fingers through your hair. You would tell him all about your day, or the latest book you had read and he would listen intently absorbing every word. It wasn’t uncommon for these quiet moments to turn into a tickling match with him playfully tickle kissing you after you had made some hilariously sarcastic comment flung towards him

Other potential matches…………….. Masamune

I hope you enjoyed this love!

#akechi mitsuhide #ikesen mitsuhide #mitsuhide akechi #ikemen sengoku mitsuhide #matchups #match ups #ikesen matchup #matches #mitsuhide matchup #submission

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spyoikawa · 3 years

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Hihi! I'm alive! Battling this history competition, but I'll make it!

So let's jump back into these requests starting with, @wakatoshiswife

(sorry I lost the request so I'll copy/paste below the line break!)

(and I am once again on a different electronic, so sorry if this looks different, I will format it to look correct later)

Request: Hello! I saw that you’re doing matchups for valentines! I’d like to request for one too if that is okay :) I’d like to matched up with a guy please...I’m a 160cm girl, ISTJ/ESTJ (I’m an ambivert), my enneagram is type 8. My zodiac sign is cancer. I have black curly hair (type 3B hair) and my eye colour is brown. At first glance, people often think I’m mean bcs I have really think eyebrows and I have a resting b face. However once you get to know me, I’m pretty fun. My hobbies are gaming, baking and editing. The characters I kin are Sakurajima Mai, Light Yagami & Osamu Miya. I enjoy working out as well! Especially jogging on a cold morning/evening. I love watching formula 1 and I would watch football if it means getting to bond with my partner/friends. I play any sports but I like volleyball and badminton the most. I also enjoy cooking Asian cuisine as I am asian, I’m a mixed Persian-Indian. My favourite weather is Autumn as it matches my aesthetic and overall aura and vibe. My favourite colour is red as if I were to be a colour based off my personality, I’d be red. Although I look best in nudes, black, white and purple...I also have the best music taste ever. I’m the chill friend in the whole group. I am very very laidback, in fact I can be a little too laidback at times but it’s nothing bad, I know when too loosen up and when to get serious, hence this is why I’m often (almost every time) a leader. I’m quite the procrastinator and the last minute person but I always know what I’m doing so its all good. I’m confident in what I do and I stand strong for what I believe in. Words, will not hurt me unless it’s said by directed to an insecurity of mine. I hate losing. I’m that one competitive friend that hates losing but I never go too much yk. I’m pretty chill when it comes to competition, that meaning, I don’t show how competitive I am. I have a blank face as I’m competing with others. I always strive to win even if it means winning in a ridiculous way, however I won’t drag it too much as I hate when a small problem gets really really big bcs people keep making it big although it’s just a minor problem (I’m so sorry if you don’t understand T^T). I’m kind, polite and pretty mature but not too mature as I don’t want my adolescent to go to waste. Therefore I try my best to loosen and up and relax! If I were to go on an outing with my friends and they’re being noisy and loud in public, instead of telling them to quiet down, I’ll leave them there so I don’t get embarrassed 🗿. I hate creating a scene in public. I’m not a fan of popularity unless it’s for a good cause. Therefore, I’m a private person with around 15 people in my circle and I enjoy it this way :) I’m also very passionate in what I do. I’m very ambitious and my hogwarts house is syltherin. I know what I’m doing as for now and I love to plan ahead so it won’t be chaotic. I’m 100% a leader and my personality is very dominant. However when it comes to relationships, I’m 100% the submissive (or switch? I’m not sure) one bcs I am very shy to actually initiate anything. My preference in a partner is someone who’s dominant and he wouldn’t mind losing for me. If I were to be an animal, I’d be a wolf or a tiger but as for my partner, I’d like him to be a wolf or a lion but deep down he’s just a bear 🥰. I also prefer guys who aren’t loud, like quiet guys but not too quiet. Ones who talk when they need to, as I’m not rly fond of people who talk a lot a lot. It can be quite annoying and I’ll probably end up accidentally hurting them. I’m so sorry if this is too long bcs I think I went overboard. Thank you so much and have a nice day :D

Alright, thank you so much for this request, and thank you for being patient with me! I'm glad I got a nice long request to get back into the jist of things! And I never like to assume, but I feel like I've been bugging you, so I'm gonna assume you were requesting tulips-

anyhoo, without further ado (lol that rhymes)

Rion's Flower Shop! Today we have Tulips! I match you up with

Kuroo Tetsuro

relationship dynamic

- its actually quite nice! A perfect balance of similarities and opposites!

- and those said opposites are harmonious!

- you guys are both admirable leaders in your own way, and can often cooperate together, and despite different approaches, reach the same goal

- both of you are really confident in your talents and areas and you use that a lot to your advantages

- he's lowkey scared of your poker face but will never admit it

- despite this, the little perks and habits the two of you have are quite amusing

- he still struggles to see how tf you get work done when you procrastinate so much, but is honestly amazed by it

- and the competitiveness you share drive the 2 of you to keep moving forward

- it's always nice to have someone supportive of you (and you 2 are, don't get me wrong) but it's also nice to have some friendly banter and competition, whether it be over music, which teams are better, opinions, which food type is best, etc.

- it keeps you two on your toes

- and (as I mentioned earlier), although the two of you can keep going back and forth, you can also lean on each other, and trust one another for support.

- he can count on you to show up to some of his games and you can count on him to have your back you want to try something new or show him your hobbies

- you guys are also there emotionally, he will always be there watching your back, and cheering you up or proving people wrong after particularly harsh, uncalled for comments, because he knows how you really are and that those people are talking bs :)

- and you do the same for him, to cheer him up, let him know he's a good captain and friend. And although he doesn't show it as much when he's older, he still gets nervous in social situations and he can count on you to be a constant in new areas

What you guys do together/ What's it like with them

- this can either be the most fun relationship or the most comforting, laid back one ever!

- and honestly both are good choices

- neither of you really want to lose your childhood, cause you only get it once

- so it's not uncommon to try out new hobbies or experience new things together to make the most of this time you have

- there are a lot of firsts with him because of that

- he doesn't mind having fun out in public, like that's the point of going out to him, but he also agrees with not wanting to cause trouble, one) that shit's embarrassing 2) he knows it'll make you, himself, and others uncomfortable, so there's really no need to do something uncalled for

- however, despite all the fun of childhood, it's also good to have calm, quiet moments in certain relationships, such as this one

- he doesn't mind, and actually quite enjoys indoor dates, like studying together or watching your favorite movies/shows

- that gives him a chance to be and focus on you only, and maybe get to know you better

- no matter what you do, you two have a silent understanding of what you enjoy, don't enjoy, and what each others needs and wants are

- and he also understands how you might not like to initiate things, he can understand to a degree

- for a while it's a matter of who will make the first move, but once he gets comfortable, he won't mind initiating it for you :D

What they like about you

- he likes your overall personality tbh

- how you can be so laid back yet confident at the same time

- yet also sweet and nice to others

- it's a nice mixture where he doesn't need to force his personality out and express everything that comes his way, but he also doesn't need to shrink to avoid overwhelming you

- and although he likes to take the charge, he likes that you can be dominant at times too, sometimes he'd rather just leave things to you, because he knows he'll like what you like

- it also feels easy for him to talk to you

- he doesn't know why but he finds himself expressing his opinions and sharing things he'd usually keep guarded with you, because he trusts you enough to understand and not share with others

- overall, its the understanding for him :)

- and he's taking this to the grave, but he's also a firm believer that slytherins should stick together

alrighty, to be completely honest, idk how I did on this one, so please, if you did not like the style of writing or the character I matched you up with, please let me know! I will gladly rewrite it for you!

#kuroo tetsurou #kuroo headcanons #kuroo hcs #kuroo x y/n #kuroo x reader #haikyuu matchups #oririon flowershop event #damn did i really forget my own tag-

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sparkmender · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE: MUN & MUSE

Fill out & Repost ♥ This meme definitely favors Canons more, but I hope OC's still can make it somehow work with their own lore and Lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multimuses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

Tagged by: @ifthearmorfits -- thank you opo!!

MY MUSE IS. canon / oc / au (...in-canon au, because transformers) / canon-divergent / fandomless

(I will be getting into spoiler territory with this, but given that you all are following this blog, you’ve probably stuck around long enough to already see what’s up haha.)

is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.

is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? WELL… / NO / IDK. (evidently a lot of people have it bad for the nerd but I don’t do NSFW on tumblr, so lol)

is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

are they underrated? YES / NO.

were they relevant to the main story? YES / NO.

were they relevant to the main character? YES / NO.

are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.

how’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. (Given Rung’s quantum forgotten status WHO KNOWS)

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?

Putting it bluntly: Functionist alt. dimension Rung has a whole lot of plot holes. Swiss cheese boy. I’ve made liberal changes here and there so that he can play with a majority of muses in the MTMTE/LL community, but I’ve also taken a lot of free reign giving Rung’s general lack of backstory in-between spoiler/plot beats :P

SELL YOUR MUSE! (aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.)

Rung is a very rare type of character, being an ostensibly ‘masculine’ character (in regards of a human binary lens) who prides himself on empathy, understanding, and caring for others’ physical and mental wellbeing in ways that often linger in more ‘feminine’ realms (again, in approx. to the human binary); it interests me to be able to explore such concepts in a territory where, considering lore and implied history, there’s no societal concept of (human ideal culturally-imposed) gender. He’s a creator ‘deity’, he literally produces souls, but nothing about his design is meant to emphasize a human sense of reproduction/fertility/etc. Most people would never look at him and conclude who and what he is. There’s also the fact that he’s been methodically documented, experimented on, taken apart, and then tortured for approx. 2 million years and yet he refused to let that break him. Rung is unflinchingly kind, willing to reach a hand out to anyone who needs a shoulder to lean on even when he has nothing of his own to offer. Hell, he studied medicine and philosophy so he could build the foundations for the Cybertronian method of behavioral psychology because even without memories of being Primus, Rung wants to take care of his creations. ...And then you add in how absolutely adorable it is to watch this old man dodder about with his puzzles and models and big googly glasses and I love him so much okay--

NOW THE OPPOSITE! (list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?)

To be honest, Rung can be kind of a Mary Sue/over powered character in some people’s eyes. Like, what, this random character who’s new to the franchise and made specifically by the author is actually Transformers God who suffered amnesia? And is friendly and polite to everyone but also has a streak of keeping a grudge and survives literal untold horrors because his body can just heal itself?? And he spits out crystals that make up sparks??? OH AND HE’S MILLIONS OF YEARS OLD AND DID I MENTION HE’S GOD SOMEHOW AND THEN HE STRAIGHT UP JUST DIES TWICE IN CANON, WOW

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?

H,,,, Him round,,,,,,,, No really I just loved his design that much. Him round. Also both my mom and my granddad are shrinks so I have, like, a basic grasp on psych stuff after reading through their textbooks and watching my granddad’s old research films and study tapes, so it was familiar territory I settled on writing Functionist!Rung in specific because I sympathize with having weird + painful medical shit inflicted on you all the time and because the idea of someone so genuine and careful being the core of a revolutionary movement is really,,, makes my heart squeeze.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?

hell if I know I’m just kinda here forever lmao

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO. needs more weird eldritch tech woogies but I’m terrified of alienating people

do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO. (mostly as they get yoinked by the fandom at large and then my notifications break my phone)

do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO.

do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES (to an extent because I write a lot of different muses and I’m constantly making/doing/playing something to keep my hands busy, so it’s inevitable) / NO.

are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO.

are you confident in your writing? YES / NO.

are you a sensitive person? YES / NO.

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?

Criticism is the best way to grow as a creator, tbh, but I will say I think the biggest complaint is just how goddamn slow + forgetful I am hahaha,,

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?

Sure! I have a tags specifically for weird Cybertronian biology quirks and for Rung just rambling about things, and it’s fun to get to reveal bits and pieces of the backstory I’ve created for him.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?

........I mean lmao you can tell me why you disagree but at the end of the day this is my personal portrayal of a specific version of a character who only shows up for like three issues of a 70+ issue long comic series.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?

There are several other fantastic Rung writers out there each with their own interpretations and understandings of the character, so like. Godspeed. Go, find the god your heart desires, and whatnot.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?

Do you hate my portrayal of Rung, or just Rung in general?? I know a few people who just straight up dislike any version of Rung at all, so there’s that.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?

English hard, hebrew and yiddish and spanish and romanian and german only. More seriously I was raised in an extremely weird house where English was the primary language but I was being taught by older people who never remembered which language they were using at the time. My first word was Mickey Mouse. I don’t know what’s happening. I went to art college. Please be gentle with me, sir.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?

Oh most likely. There’s only like... one or two things I will go out of my way to discourage or avoid + I’m generally just kinda here to make other people happy haha

#ooc|moon above

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