If I am honest with myself, I think one of my biggest sources of internalized transphobia is based on my desire for a "typical" bottom surgery, something along the lines of phallo, even.

I think I truly only wanted a "simpler" bottom surgery because I was inundated with comments for six years straight about how disgusting phallo is, how it is "barbaric," and no trans person should ever want it, and the desire for a phalloplasty is shameful. Those things burrowed its way into my mind because it wasn't just dyed-in-the-wool transphobes saying that it was also other trans people. It was other trans guys and transmasculine people saying those things.

The point of this post is that when you are talking about transitioning, surgeries, or hormones and such, you aren't talking about ideas or nebulous concepts. You are talking about real people and their real in-the-flesh bodies. Be careful that you aren't carrying water for people who want to see them dead.

some recent doodles

Drawing request if you’re alright with it: Jonah’s top surgery scars?

Oh anon you are so real for this

I think he'd have dog ears but you can't really see them bc his arms are in the way

what if i got phallo but started presenting femme..... what then?

its extremely frustrating that I'm very happy with the size of my pumped dick, and very unhappy with the size of it normally. it means I can't decide whether to go through w metoidioplasty or not

Id rather get meta, in every way. but I just don't know if my dick is gonna grow any further, and at this size, it won't be long enough to stp, which is a big part of it for me (well,, the whole thing is. actually)

so I'm just in this limbo state of pumping every day for dysphoria and growth, and just hoping against hope I'll get another growth spurt

when do I just bite the bullet and book a phallo consult?

deciding raphael can just be my little guy actually. He can do whatever the fuck he wants and be whatever the fuck he wants, and if i feel genuinely tackling his story later in my life i will. but for now, he will be in 100 million aus and different concepts. He will be my little guy to put anywhere i please. and I think that will be healthiest for me

jacinto has been transgender man w/phallo since i concieved him as a character and his entire arc is about autonomy & martyrdom + Doodles

ochette works at a parking lot cont.

blahhhhhhh i want to get full sleeves on my arms and legs but i also need to keep my calves and forearms open for the future if i ever need one for a skin graft. whyyyyyy

not to brag [lying] but my dick that i grew with my body, i.e. tdick. she is so big i genuinely have to stand different which actually means i lean to one side MORE. thank you T for making me gay

people who talk shit about phallo are so fucking annoying. EVERY surgery has risks. it's not like phallo is the only surgery ever that might have risks. all this talk of "there's so many complications!" never acknowledges that it can be fixed. top surgery can have complications and people get revisions lol i dont see the same kind of fearmongering. when people start talking about the risks of phallo and they're not actually considering getting it I immediately go on the defensive bc 90% of the time they're just going to pull up with some transphobic crap about how dangerous and scary and unrealistic it is. it's not a bad thing to understand the risks of a surgery, you ABSOLUTELY should, but the fearmongering is so annoying and harmful.

So I'm here to kevetch a lil' bit.

Why are there like no resources for transmen out there? Especially about bottom surgery (specificallyimages of finished surgeries)? So my best friend is a dude that happens to be trans (he is "stealth" and doesn't consider himself trans in the most part anymore, just male). He came out to me first. At the time, there were literally no resources online, but it was the age where YouTube still showed nudity. He was debating between phalloplasty and metoidioplasty (sorry, I had to look up the names quick). He always told me he wanted surgery even when we played 'we are a band' at my house. We were, I think, like 6 or 7? I still remember my older brother asking if he wanted surgery, and he said yes. AT SIX! So we go back to YouTube, we'll we find a video of a man who was willing to show his fully done phalloplasty. We watched it and he asked if it looked right, I said I wouldn't be able to tell at all. At that time, I think we were in our mid teens at this point. He ended up getting a phallo (he always calls it that), and he told me a bit ago "I hear so many guys not wanting to do anything or force themselves or the culture seems to pushe metoidioplasty because they don't have enough information on phallo." So I asked him if especially since it's pride if he'd make a blog an answer some questions.

@answersfromtheshadows

So, I decided to tag his blog and let you all please overwhelm him with asks. He works all day, so please 🙏 help me help him get his word out!

👇👇👇Here is his blog 👇👇👇

@answersfromtheshadows

will be working at my mom's work for most of january + i have an essay to finish by the 16th + skiing last week of jan + i get to hear which thesis project i'm doing... so much for "holidays"

i get dysphoric around my jawline sometimes but like. i dont want to get any facial masculinizing surgeries bc like. for one, im fat and i dont think that kind of facial slimming surgery that defines a jawline by like. removing excess fat would look realistic considering my weight so its like. sigh

anyone got any recommendations for packers? I've never had one but would maybe like to start using one? uk based if possible !! thanks in advance!!

I need to put my big boy pants on and write smut fanfic of ftm characters who've had phallo just to soothe my raging soul