"Rewatching Wentworth" thoughts again. This already annoyed me when I was watching the show for the first time but I'm extremely angry right now.

(i will discuss instances of rape in this)

The only butch woman that gets some screen time is Lucy "Juice" Gambaro. She is the embodiment of everything men think of when they imagine butch lesbians. Not only does she constantly objectify women, she does it in a way that's worse than any of the men in the show are doing it. It literally happens EVERY damn TIME she is on screen. And she also sexually harrasses and rapes women.

And of course she "looks the part". Right?? Well this really bugs me. I know butch women who look like her. Fat, loud, with wrinkles and not-so-perfect teeth. They are amazing, wonderful, they are important and they are showing the world and especially younger women that women don't need to perform femininity or cater to any male standards of "beauty". There is little to no representation of butch lesbians in bigger tv shows or movies. Not even speaking of older or fat butch lesbians. Why portray the only woman who looks like this as a rapist creep that women have to fear? This is a mans fantasy of what masculine women have to be like. I don't know if it is because they can't imagine masculinity without violence towards women or because they are scared of butch women because they are just so unreachable/untouchable to them. Either way, it makes me angry. She is a walking offensive, horrific caricature. There is a difference between "there are some butch/gnc lesbians in our show and one is a believable antagonist" and "there is literally only one butch lesbian in our show and we portray her as a one-dimensional rapist creep while the feminine and younger lesbians and bi women are portrayed as complex and good".

When Joan is raped for the first time it is done by Juice and her "boys". Meaning other butch lesbians.

Joan is worth a post of her own lol. So I won't get into that too much here. But she is the middle aged, not conventionally attractive (meaning not male-gaze-y) villain of the show (and the love of my life btw). She is shown to desire women, but never gets a kiss scene or anything else that could scare men who are used to "lesbian" soft porn with young feminine models. But she is getting raped twice (which is shown much more explicitly than any kiss or sex scene with her could have been), once by the "evil butches from hell" and once by a man. The first one that was done by butch lesbians is portrayed as emotionally distressing to her (it's the "real" rape), but she gets a bloody revenge by cutting Juices tongue out. Which is one of my favourite scenes and great from a "revenge for rape" kind of perspective. But in light of the overall disgusting portrayal of butch lesbians and lesbians overall in this show it kinda bugs me. The second rape, done by a man, is portrayed as something Joan wanted and as something that was part of her "plan". She has the upper hand and she uses it to her advantage. Which is next level horrible misogynistic writing shit. She also sadly doesn't rip his dick off. Which would have been only logical considering what she did to Juice but I guess that would have been too gruesome for the show huh.

I am just. So disgusted. The implications of all of this are horrible, lesbophobic, misogynistic and I want to punch something.

Unfriendly reminder that I hate most shows and movies made by men

I feel like debating who Loki was talking to when he said "For You" in the last episode, is missing the point of the scene. And people referring to it as "cowardly" and a "no-homo" moment is just?? Baffling to me tbh because like;

First of all, it is obviously intended to be to both of them? If they only wanted to make it about Sylvie, Mobius wouldn't be there. If they only wanted to make it about Mobius, Sylvie wouldn't be there. If they wanted to make it about everyone they would've just framed it more equally, he does do it for all his friends ("for all of us"), but they have that scene to highlight these two specific relationships. The framing is quite clear, they have him take a last look at all of his friends before going down the stairs, but Mobius and Sylvie runs after him to have a final significant moment.

Which absolutely makes sense and is consistent with the show we have seen so far, s1 and s2 combined, which is what I love about it. And it was to be honest a surprise! Going into this season, I had little hope for Loki/Mobius interactions, just didn't want to expect too much since S1 had a lot of their connection, but that could've been it. I was shocked when s2ep1 was full to the brim with Loki and Mobius scenes? And then they kept reinforcing every week that they care about each other, is a funny duo to watch, and are important to one another.

And despite this, I expected the rug to at some point be pulled, especially compared to Loki's relationship to Sylvie. No matter people's personal viewing on the show, she is still cited as a love interest by showrunners and is just portrayed as that by the narrative a lot of the time. Sidelining that, even in s2 when the romantic hints are more vague, she's still a very important person in Loki's life. She played a central part of the plot and Loki's own character development of understanding himself.

So to me, I was surprised seeing Mobius and Sylvie side by side in the end. Both being framed as The important people in Loki's life. Then, however you wanna see in what ways they are important is up to you, but they are the people he keeps coming back to for advice and self-reflection. You can frame it as "oh it should've been only been Mobius and they added Sylvie to downplay it", which, I just disagree with (If they wanted to go for explicitly canon Lokius they needed to set that up even more earlier in the season but that's a post for another day). Sylvie is still like, a constant in the narrative and driving force of s1, even if s2 changes things around a bit, and imo it would be inconsistent if she just vanished here. I guess I am used to media that downplays a meaningful dynamic between two dudes in more aggressive ways, which they absolutely could've done, and would've taken me out of the story to be honest... but they didn't, Mobius and Sylvie got to be side by side in the end and that imo validated the Loki/Mobius dynamic way more than downplays it.

TLDR; The "For you" was for both Mobius and Sylvie because why would you frame it that way otherwise, and having them side by side like that validates Lokius way more than downplays it in a "no-homo" way considering the full context of the show.

OC sketches after a million years... I'm soooo happy bc they're finally looking pretty close to how I imagined T_T I've had these OCs since 2018-2019 but never finalized their designs (and barely ever drew them...) bc I didn't have the skill lvl to draw/design them how I wanted... but ig I've finally improved enough to get p close AAAH🤧

when you read your own than/ares fic and remember how much you love ares unexpectedly being soft and insecure and he's afraid of hurting than, whereas than's just been staring at ares arms all day and can't stop thinking about getting fisted and how full he'd feel and asks ares and ares is so concerned that he's going to hurt thanatos but they prepare thanatos well and he takes ares fist and ares just watching in awe that someone trusts him this much to want and have his hands that have wrought so much inside of them. so yeah just those thoughts going around in my head while I'm sick.

[dni minors, dni blogs that have no 18+ age listed in their bio]

OLD PERSONALITY QUIZ !!

Sometimes the fact that GRRM has, amid all his efforts to have nuance and a wide spectrum in his female characters and to deconstruct certain tropes, played the daddy's girl tomboy in contrast to the hostility or complete elimination of the female figures in her life trope completely straight over and over again, with basically every female warrior he wrote, from his female lead to two whole secondary POVs to one note extras (with the exception of the Mormont ladies yeah at least, maybe when we get more Alysane content I will be less grumpy about this), leaves me kind of bitterly shocked tbh

Meredith Stannard Character Analysis

[originally posted on twitter last month!] A question I often get is, ‘hey, why do you love Meredith so much,’ and I’ve done my best to answer that question here! Basically, I see Meredith as the type of person who will protect her own at all cost. And that's a goal which is very understandable and human at its core. Who can’t relate to that? Unfortunately for Meredith (and, y’know, everyone in Kirkwall), the working definitions of 'her own' and 'at all cost' shift and expand over time. Slowly in some dimensions, and far more rapidly in others.

So, let’s recap! From Meredith’s childhood through to the events of DA2.

In the beginning, she's a young girl who blames herself for the death of her family, believing she failed them through her inaction, haunted by the question of if she’d turned her sister into the templars, would they all still be alive? For Meredith, becoming a templar is both penance and promise. She finds purpose in her devotion to duty and is given the tools she needs to help prevent further tragedies. Given her experiences, it's unsurprising she develops a firm belief that the Circle is the only place mages can be safe, e.g., even if an apprentice nonetheless turns into an abomination, at least they're not running amok among the general population.

Not like her sister had. During this time, she develops a close bond with Ser Wentworth, the templar who rescued her from the smouldering ruins of her family home. Heck, Ser Wentworth considers her the daughter he didn't deserve (curiously instead of the daughter he never had, but that's a thought for another meta).

And tragically he’s just yet another person she couldn't save: she still visits him all the time, caring for him, until he loses his mind completely to long-term effects of lyrium usage, until he can't even remember who she is. And she cares for him! Until the very end! He’s all the family she has left; she can’t abandon him. What can she do? She's already Knight-Captain by now, appointed by Ser Wentworth himself. She's already on lyrium. It's notoriously hard to quit. She also considers it integral to her identity as a protector, as a templar. Ever since she took her vows, ever since she saw her beloved mentor deteriorate from lyrium sickness, Mereidth has accepted that she’ll also likely die a miserable death one day. (And, oh well, that’s what she deserves. So long as she can keep everyone save in the meantime.) And then several years later in 9:21, all the shit with Viscount Threnhold reaches its boiling point. Meredith's commanding officer gets fucking hanged in the middle of the night. At least there's something she can DO about that, unlike with every other person she's failed. (And Threnhold even lives to tell the tale for a couple more years! Alas, my thoughts on whether Perrin Threnhold was a tyrant and the complexities of Kirkwall's relationship with Orlais is again a topic for another time.) And then not only is Meredith now the new Knight-Commander, the templars have just proven that they are for all intents and purposes, the city's true military strength. So now Meredith more or less accepts responsibility of everyone in Kirkwall. So it's understandable she'd want to install a figurehead viscount that's under her control, given that there's been whispers of an impending Orlesian invasion (and that the last viscount was provoking them)! Understandably, Meredith would very much like to avoid this, so goodbye tariffs, hello peace, for a little while. (but... Kirkwall.) During this time, Meredith's settling into her new role and responsibilities, learning what sort of leader she wants to be. And by the Maker, she wants to be a proactive one. Everything she's loved and lost has been due to inaction, one way or another. This whole time, she's still haunted by the thought that her sister might be alive if they'd just sent her to the Circle, instead of fearing discovery by templars. Comparatively speaking, compared to what happened to her family, the Circle's not actually that bad. The mages support each other. They don't have to live in fear. Freedom is a small sacrifice to make for safety, right? Meredith can stop others from making the same mistakes. Mercy is a sign of weakness, and weakness is how people end up dead. Most importantly, there's nobody around to seriously question her convictions. By the time Orsino becomes First Enchanter in 9:28, Meredith has virtually been operating unchecked for seven years.

There's no incentive for Grand Cleric Elthina to pay particular attention to the daily functioning of the Gallows, not if nobody's complaining, and especially not when there's no threat of war or civil unrest looming on the horizon.

Things in Kirkwall are... okay! Orsino's singing like a canary in a coalmine, but everyone's too busy trying to survive the shithole that is Kirkwall to pay attention to the plight of mages. Then the Blight happens. There's a sudden influx of refugees. At least one of them is VERY passionate about mage rights. The Qunari get stranded. Things rapidly spiral out of Meredith's control, and she's not known for her ability to reliably delegate to others in times of need.

She's having enough trouble just with the Gallows and the tensions there that she can't really spare time to worry about... everything else. (She can offload that to Cullen, right?) Of course, we know how this ends. Viscount Dumar loses his head, and the only reason he was even there in the first place was because Meredith PUT HIM THERE. She doesn't want the responsibility of appointing another Viscount, for it to change nothing, just to fail them, too. Hawke's the only real candidate, and not only does Meredith not want to ask that of them, Seneschal Bran rightly advises that it would be a political maelstrom. So the status quo ticks along. Meredith's in way over her fucking head, and she'll take whatever help she can get. Even if it's red, glowing, and extremely fucking suspicious. She's tired. She's done. She wants to rest. She's sick of fucking up, of questioning her decisions. All she wants is some certainty.

🗡️❗️ Addenda:

1) I think it's difficult to separate the mage-templar conflict from the wider geopolitical situation in Thedas (esp the tensions between the Southern Chantry, Tevinter, and the Qunari).

2) Hopefully needless disclaimer, but I do not personally believe mages (nor anyone else!) deserve to be subjugated. One of the main things I love about this series is all the moving parts and politics. No matter how reprehensible I might find a character, I can understand why they are the way they are, and how their beliefs have shaped who they are. RL is never as clear-cut, and IRL actual, real living people are being hurt by bigotry and systems of oppression. I think fiction and storytelling have an important role in examining the interplay of power, in a way that is now widely accessible. 3) On a less serious note, Seneschal Bran Cavin Post mage-ending when his city's lost its Grand Cleric, Knight-Commander, First Enchanter, and Champion in one evening:

DEATH TW and mentions of murder so if that is triggering for you don’t read, but if it’s not then i’d like to ask if you’ve heard of forensic genealogy? while i am uneasy at the prospect of using it to find suspects, it can also be used to find the identities of unidentified decedents, who die of accidental causes or are murdered, and often it’s the only hope to identify those who have been unidentified for decades. the dna doe project is a nonprofit that’s mostly volunteer run, and i think that your research skills could be useful there or somewhere like there. i know this is kind of a random ask to receive, identification of unidentified remains is my special interest but i don’t have the time or training to get better at researching beyond a few tricks here and there.

I feel like we've read the same articles recently; did you see the tumblr post (and linked articles) about Joseph Augustus Zarelli, the Boy in the Box?

Which is to say, yes, I am aware of forensic genealogy and the DNA Doe Project, because like many white American women, I'm a true crime junkie.* My big Thing is investigative procedure tho, so I'm also deeply interested in plane & train crash investigations, medical mysteries, archaeology, anthropology... basically 'what happened, and by which processes and methods do we figure out what happened?'

So far as getting into the game myself, I dunno. I assume there's probably some sort of required formal training, along with the expectation of reliability and sustained effort, and I'm a chronically ill autodidact with ADHD. I'm the research equivalent of a sprinter; investigative genealogy requires a marathoner, because there's so much exhausting, grinding work involved.

Something I've never seen brought up before in any investigation is how many extant family trees are just wrong. Genealogical sites make it too easy to crib notes from other users, and all it takes is one person deciding 'eh that's probably the right guy' for dozens of other amateur researchers to make the same mistake, and then somebody ties that erroneous information to their DNA profile. I don't know how the forensic genealogists deal with that.

You also have to take into account how many people throughout history have just gone missing, or otherwise fallen off the historical record. Just because someone's date of death is absent doesn't mean something nefarious happened to them. (Just because someone's date of death is present doesn't mean it's correct.) People emigrate. They marry. They change their names. They die alone and unknown in a ditch**, or they die somewhere that doesn't make those records public***. Paper records can burn or flood out, and family stories rarely make it down more than one or two generations. History is messy.

I've only done serious research into my family background for two years, in fits and starts interrupted by illness flare ups. Half the time it feels like I find more questions to ask than I get answers. I've found a pair of illegitimate daughters and a handful of adoptees. I've found some two dozen 'missing persons' who may as well have disappeared into thin air, for how suddenly they dropped out of the historical record. I've found a murder victim and a (maybe) would-be murderess.

And four months ago, I found the answer to another family's 150 year old missing person case, and it changed everything I thought I knew about my mother's family.

This is how.

Five months ago, I thought I knew everything there was that could be known about John Robert McDowell.

I knew he was born July 1st of either 1868 or 1869, in Belfast, Northern Ireland. According to his naturalization petition, he came to the United States in April of 1883, when the absolute oldest he could have been was fourteen, and at the time of his naturalization in 1896 he claimed his nationality was English, presumably due to anti-Irish sentiments at the time.

I knew John's handwriting was idiosyncratic: he wrote the J in his name with a rightward upper loop that scooped up again before curving back around the center staff, and his uppercase R was a mess of curlicues. I've never seen the like before or since.

I knew that despite living in America for ten years longer than he'd lived outside it, John still had an accent in 1908 when his second son was born. Spelling is incredibly inconsistent across historical records because up until very recently, it was the practice of the record keepers to write down their best guess at what they heard, and in 1908 a midwife heard and recorded John's surname as McDoul.

John's life was actually remarkably well-documented, in comparison to his contemporaries. I bought myself access to Newspapers.com along with my Ancestry subscription, and he made semi-regular appearances in the Newport News Daily Press for the better part of thirty years as a Navy veteran, successful entrepreneur, and president of a labor union that later became the United Steelworkers Local 8888. (A seemingly throwaway notice in the Daily Press was the only record I've yet been able to find for his divorce, which eventually led me to find out whatever happened to his wife, which is another saga entirely. Pauline, you dirty rotten cheater.)

I knew that John was in and out of the hospital with thyroid cancer, but he was such a tough old bastard it took the better part of fifteen years to kill him, and he died in 1954 at the age of 86.****

According to John's death certificate (and the U.S. Government records at the VA hospital where he died), his parents' names were Thomas McDowell and Isabell Rabb (or possibly Robb, the Accent strikes again.)

This is the only record linked to either of them on Ancestry.com at all.

I have most of a history degree, so I wasn't surprised. There are next to no records of the 1890 census of the United States, and that was down to a fire in the National Archives. Ireland was dragged backwards through hell by the ankles for centuries by a succession of British monarchs and governments, and Belfast was in the prime of especially conflicted territory for much of it. No census records from John's lifetime were kept, and the likelihood his parents would show up in the surviving fragments from 1841 and 1851 was slim to none.

There were transcribed indexes from birth and marriage records available, at least, and I scoured them through, looking for a John McDowell, and there wasn't a single damn one born to a Thomas or Isabelle McDowell in a decade on either side of 1868. There wasn't any record I could find at all of a Thomas McDowell marrying an Isabelle Rabb until well after John left Ireland.

Five months ago, as far as I knew, John Robert McDowell was probably a bastard, who'd either been left out of whatever records were taken at the time, or he was one of the unfortunate ones whose birth record had been lost.

Four months ago, I realized that the record indexes on Ancestry included film numbers, which meant there were pictures of those records to be found somewhere. If they were organized chronologically, I could try to find his birth registration that way. Googling "ireland civil registration records" brought me to the Civil Records search page of a genealogy site run by, of all things, the Irish government's tourism department.

Once again, there wasn't a John McDowell born to the right parents during the right time period, so I went looking for his parents' marriage. And found it.

If they married in 1872, John would probably still technically be a bastard, but I had a point to start from. Once I clicked into the actual scan of the record I nearly snapped myself in half sitting upright in attention, because Thomas McDowell's father's name was Duncan, John named his eldest son Duncan, Isabella's father's name was John, I had to have the right two people, this couldn't be a coincidence.

And then I noticed Isabella was a widow. Isabella was a widow.

Who was your husband, and when did he die, Isabella? I searched again, and found her marriage to a Thomas Logan July 30th, 1866. No men named Thomas Logan died in Belfast between 1866 and 1870, which meant he was probably still alive when John was born. It meant I had been looking in the wrong direction the entire time.

John Robb Logan came into the world on July 1st, 1868, in the Ballymacarrett district of Belfast, the second child of four born to Thomas Logan and Isabella Robb. Once I knew what I was looking for the rest came easy.

John's early life was riddled with tragedies. His younger brother Joseph was six months old when he died in March of 1870. His father died of smallpox in December of the same year, exactly one month after the birth of his sister Mary. Three months before his fifth birthday, his first half-sibling Bella died, at just five months old. And in 1879, his older brother William died after a long, miserably drawn-out illness from spinal tuberculosis.

(As an aside, god, poor Isabella. She had four children with Thomas Logan, and a further nine with Thomas McDowell, and before her early death from a long respiratory illness she buried a husband, two sons, and two daughters. How do you go on after that, how are you not forever shattered?)

If I hadn't been sure I'd found the right family, I was after William died. Thomas McDowell was the person who reported William's death to the registrar's office after sitting by his deathbed. The registrar recorded William as a "child of [the] baker" that Thomas was by profession; Thomas McDowell claimed his stepson as his own.

Duncan McDowell, John's step-grandfather, had a family burial plot in Ballygowan, and he named William Adam Logan as his grandson, with no qualifiers, when they buried him.

All the evidence suggests that the McDowells loved John Robb Logan and his siblings, and he loved them back every bit as much. You don't choose to take on the surname of people you hate, and it seems very much the case that John chose to go by McDowell when he came to America. I'm honestly not sure there was a way for Thomas McDowell to bequeath his name to his stepchildren, given John's brother William died a Logan and his sister Mary married as one.

John Robb Logan disappeared from history after his baptism, and John Robert McDowell made his first confirmed appearance in the historical record in 1883, but I was certain they were one and the same. The problem was proving it to my mother, because McDowell was her family name. She'd grown up with it, as had her sisters and her dozens of cousins and her father and his siblings and her father's father; I only had a paper trail arguing the name she knew didn't belong to any of them by blood.

So I went for blood.

I refuse to give my DNA to Ancestry.com on a principle born from paranoia and ethics concerns. It's absolutely not happening, ever, like hell do I expect a corporation to do the right thing with my genetic material. My mother doesn't share my concerns, either now or four years ago, when she bought an Ancestry DNA kit and then did absolutely nothing with her results besides marvel at the unexpected Swedish heritage in her 'Ethnicity Estimate' because doing anything else looked like too much work.

It took a few days to figure out how to hook my mother's DNA results into the tree I've built, and a few more for all the features to populate, but all told it took less than a week between learning the truth about my great-great-grandfather's parentage and proving it irrefutably with DNA, via several descendants of his full-blooded sister Mary and a grandson of his half-brother Wallace.

Ancestry doesn't tell you when new DNA matches are found, or when someone adds you to their tree (and thank god for that, my mother has somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty thousand matches). To those descendants of Mary Thomasina Logan, the handful of John's descendants who've shelled out for Ancestry DNA kits could be any random person. Frequently the relationships between matches aren't clear, because of all the folks like my mom who never add a tree to their results, or those who don't try to go any further back than their grandparents.

As far as Mary Logan's descendants know, the sons of Thomas Logan dead-ended his line, and when I do find John in their trees there's never more than a birth year and a blank space where there would usually be a year of death. (They all have the wrong Isabella Robb too, but I don't really blame them; apparently Isabella was one of the most popular names for girls for well over a century, and Robbs weren't exactly thin on the ground.)

Someday soon, I'm going to reach out. People who study genealogy do it because they're looking for something: long lost relatives, answers to questions asked too late, or even a better, more personal understanding of history by learning about the people who were there when it happened. Every family has its mysteries and this one, at least, could be solved.

John's story doesn't end here. Here is where it begins.

~

*I'm aware of the problematic nature of White Lady True Crime Brain Poisoning, but I'm gonna have to pull the 'I'm not like other girls' card. I'm incredibly discerning about my crime shows, I hate the fucking cops, and I'm realistic about how unbelievably low my chances are of ever being the victim of a violent crime. I'm white, I'm broke as shit, I'm built like a running back and walk like the Terminator, and most importantly, I'm single and planning to stay that way for the rest of my life. The only way I'm getting murdered is if I happen to get caught in a random mass shooting, which isn't outside the realm of possibility because America.

**In case anyone's gotten this far and is still interested, there's strong evidence that the mystery of the Somerton Man was finally solved last year. At some point I'd like to take a look at the tree the forensic genealogists built tho, because I have some Doubts. There was only one person in that family that fell off the map in the 40's? Just one? I was lightning-strike kinds of lucky enough to find John's real parentage, but I dug up more unanswered questions with it, because two of his half-brothers dropped out of the records after 1901. Completely setting aside the possibility of infidelity in the Webb family and how common inbreeding has been (both historically and in recent memory) in populations of European descent, I have a hard time buying that Carl Webb was the only person who could be the Somerton Man. It's still cool as shit that they have a strong possibility tho.

***Maryland and Kansas specifically can blow me, if somebody died in either of those states I have to find an obituary or a tombstone to get the mcfrickin' date, and I have to either pay money and prove a relationship to see a death certificate, or show up to an archive in person to search on their intranet, MARYLAND WHY DO YOU NOT WANT ME TO KNOW WHEN MY GREAT-GRANDMOTHER DIED. (Being fair, I don't know if she died in Maryland, that's just a great-uncle's best guess, because she ran away from her family in 1949 and nobody ever saw her again after the early 60's. Helen, where the hell did you go?)

****One of the big reasons why I got into genealogy in the first place was to see if I could find how far back the predisposition to early deaths and autoimmune disease went in my family. What I hadn't expected to find was a predisposition for extreme longevity on all sides. Longevity as in 'skewing the life expectancy bell curve' kinds of longevity. As long as someone didn't come down with a freak illness or make a looooooooong string of poor life choices, they were apparently immune to death, which honestly explains a few things about Crazy Grandma, god damn.

deathstar shippers stop going out of ur way to tell me you hate dominator being a lesbian and that you’re homophobic asf challenge (impossible, apparently)

WE GOT ENGAGED?!?!

i always forget people namesearch themselves + assume after a certain point people simply don't care which i really should have learned is just not true by now. but still one of the worst jumpscares/funniest things to have happened to me online was a few years ago when i complained about not liking this book by a poet and he hatefollowed me. anyway. thinking about that again because i was tempted to complain but this tumblr is googlable atm for i'm trying to find things here myself reasons. complaining about dead people's work only for now it is. i can do this. i can.

thinking abt this one interaction i had w my aunt where i said that i was involved in alot of drama and met rlly horrid ppl online and so she went "ooooh so thats why you say you hate people! of course online people are terrible!" ...compared to the actual angels irl who instead of being manipulative and hypocritical took the direct way of, yknow, physically bullying me and stealing my stuff and making even the teachers turn on me. yes. wow. what a difference. it's like im in hell comparing between torture demon #1 and torture demon #2

year of bnnuy

sometimes i think im a little too tough on ND, then i see someone online using what back there is an antisemitic dogwhistle (an old af one, but still) and they clearly don't know that the phrase has been used that way, and are using it in a more or less innocent if angry way

and then i think no, ND really is just. In The Past. in so many horrible fuckin' ways

I am finally picking up The Great Ace Attorney again! I missed the lawyer games qwq

i'm currently struggling so hard to find a perfect name for the zeon request i got. i already finished writing it and it's ready for the queue as soon as i got a name and yet i can't find the right one

i just really love the idea and wanna do it justice but man i do not have the braincells to think of like 2-3 nice words for the title, yet somehow managed to write a 1.2k long fic 🤔