#however this has been a Day™️
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Me and Dave standing outside for our stupid mental health
#I’m cold#he’s cold#I would much rather be inside watchinf video essays#however this has been a Day™️#so ourside time it is
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Paws and Pixels: VoxPet™️
Tiny!Vox x Reader
A/N: Totally writing this thing because of a cute chat session I had with some wonderful people on a Hazbin discord server, it's a shitposty idea but it was a cute one so I couldn't help but write about it. A continuation to "Get off my Screen!" is in the works alongside some other requests too! I'm just glad it was received so well, thanks y'all!
A/N: Btw, the chibi Vox art isn't mine. I might draw something similar with a Y/N eventually though so message me or request it in my askbox if you wanna see it XD
You wished you could say it was a normal day.
But truth be told-
It was so far off from that.
The Vee tower was complete mess by the time you had arrived.
The place was often busy, you knew that much-
But to fall into complete disarray?
Your beloved would have never even allowed it.
Speaking of your lover, where the hell was he?
His absence left you more than puzzled, this was Vox you were talking about after all.
Mr. I-have-to-keep-an-eye-on-everything-or-it-all-entirely-goes-to-shit-
You couldn't say he was wrong this time however, walking towards the elevator with intent to find the other Vees.
But of course they ended up finding you first.
It was Velvette who abruptly dragged you away from the chaos in the office.
Not that you still quite understood what was going on and the reason for her urgency.
"WhaA- Vel??"
"Sorry darling, we've got a bit of an issue as you can clearly tell- but there's just something I absolutely must show you."
You didn't really even have time to ask questions before you saw Valentino rush past you.
Was he holding a phone in each hand?
He barely even greeted you in his hasty exit, probably too busy with the 4 phone conversations he was having simultaneously.
All this chaos and your boyfriend still hasn't shown up.
You started getting worried that something happened to him.
But what Velvette ended up showing you was definitely not at all what you expected.
Especially since you didn't expect to find Vox here of all places.
That and... he wasn't quite himself.
Not that you were complaining, but it was really weird seeing your boyfriend so tiny.
He was probably plushie-sized to be honest.
You would have found it cute if it weren't for the shock from everything else.
The tiny Vox visibly perked up when he saw you.
Was he beeping or squeaking?
"What... what the fuck even happened???"
"Do you want the whole story or a TLDR?"
While you lightly poked the smaller Vox that stood atop the table, Velvette quickly updated you on what had transpired before your arrival.
Apparently, Vox had gone and gotten himself in trouble with some goons earlier in the day.
It wasn't often Vox would get hurt by anything, he was an overlord after all-
But sometimes people got lucky or they really just ganged up on him in big numbers.
The good news was he won, the bad news was he'd gotten pretty beat up because of it.
Shattered screen, fried motherboard, stray wires, and a whole other myriad of issues to boot.
He'd come back to the tower needing a ton of repairs.
Problem was, he'd run out of the needed spare parts and his backup body wasn't in any good condition to be used either.
So go figure, your creative boyfriend decided to handle his situation in another way after he'd put in the order for said needed parts.
They'd probably arrive in just a few days but seriously-
You could only stare at the tiny version of your lover in bewilderment.
There was absolutely no understanding of what was running through this man's brain.
He was even wearing a miniature version of his typical outfit, coat and all!
"Soooo... has he just been in here the whole time?"
"Pretty much. He doesn't really talk either, Val and I haven't figured out if it's because he can't or won't."
"Oh lord."
You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose, patting the tiny Vox with your hands.
You honestly wanted to be more mad at the situation-
But Vox really just looked too cute.
You just wanted to freakin squeeze him-
"I'm gonna need a purse to carry him around..."
"Oh wow, you're treatin' 'im like a pet already."
You rolled your eyes at Velvette's comment, looking down at your currently tiny boyfriend to find him staring at you.
He had absolutely no business being this cute-
"I'm taking him home, I'd gather that you and Val can handle things here?"
"For the most part, just be a dear and make sure nothing else happens to 'im until his parts arrive."
You just rolled your eyes again.
Great way of stating the obvious Velvette.
Besides, Vox was still an overlord and the strongest of the Vees.
His powers shouldn't have been affected in this form right??
There was no way your beloved went ahead and made himself as harmless as he looked-
At least that's what you had hoped.
However, you picked him up in both hands- you were starting to doubt that.
Vox merely tilted his monitor head to get a better look at you before beeping, his legs dangled slightly from how you held him.
BEEPING AGAIN.
WHERE ARE YOUR WORDS FOOL-
"Huh, he's never made that sound before."
You were really starting to regret even walking into the building today.
And that was of course when your miniature boyfriend decided it was the perfect time to lightly zap you.
It didn't hurt, but it was enough for your attention to go back to him.
Only to see his face all pink with a bunch of hearts emoticons on it.
This little shit-
You really couldn't stay mad at him for long.
Eventually when you were able to get a grip on yourself, Velvette handed you a purse to put Vox in as requested- and you were on your way home.
What did the other Vees even expect you to do with Vox like this?
Did you accidentally become your boyfriend's babysitter??
Today was just way too tiring for you already.
You practically collapsed on the couch once you got home.
Dropping the purse with tiny lover in it on one of the nearby cushions, you didn't really care about the annoyed squeaking that came from inside the bag from the rough landing.
Vox just crawled out of the small purse with a huff.
He figured you would've liked him being all cute this way.
But judging by your reactions-
He couldn't tell if you liked it or hated it.
He did feel slightly bad seeing how tired you were though.
Practically waddling over towards you, Vox patted your head trying to get your attention.
When that didn't work he started beeping and squeaking until you raised your head and looked at him again.
And you were surprised when he awkwardly moved to hug you.
Well, hug your face rather.
The words: "I'm sorry." flashing on his tiny screen.
You sighed tiredly.
Even if he was a little infuriating at times, you still loved Vox's antics.
This one included.
"It's okay, I'm okay. Everything just happened way too fast."
A heart then appeared on his tiny screen face and you pretty much melted.
He was just too fuckin cute.
A/N: Might write a part 2 for this with other headcanons, this was so friggin adorable AHAHAHAHAHA
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin vox#hazbin vox x reader#vox#vox x reader#vox x you#hazbin hotel vox x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#x reader
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Masterlist
+- indicates smut
WIPs List
Request Rules
About Me
Poly!Plasticsverse
CLAIMED ANON EMOJIS: 🦁💙🌕🧡🍉🧃☀️💕💌💐🍄
Regina George
There For You
Janis and Regina help Reader get over a bad breakup, revealing their feelings for them. (Y/N goes by they/them pronouns in this one.)
Fire and Ice
Regina and Reader are the school's power couple. Everyone thinks Regina is the top. Oh, how wrong they are.
Sabotage
Reader finds out Cady is sabotaging her girlfriend and making her insecure so she takes revenge into her own hands.
Used To It
Regina isn't used to being loved. She gets overwhelmed when she starts dating Reader and getting treated like she's supposed to.
Protective
Regina's girlfriend is tired of the rumors of her girlfriend. She takes matters into her hands to stop them.
Ruin Me +
Regina gets railed by reader and gets adDICKted very fast.
Regina George is a Bottom +
Regina is fed up with not being able to crack Reader, however, she soon discovers that she would be the one to crack pretty soon.
Sex Education +
Regina becomes obsessed with Reader. She jumps on an opportunity that arises and makes Reader hers.
Revenge of the Nerds (but hotter)
Regina and Reader are complete opposites, but that's why they work. Shane Oman looks to ruin that, but fails.
Regina's Protector
Reader is usually a calm and collected person. Cady Heron quickly realizes that messing with Y/N and her girlfriend is social suicide.
Save a Horse, Ride a Cowgirl('s abs) +
Regina George being a bottom. That's all.
Jealous, much? +
Regina and Reader are FWB. When Reader stops the arrangement for another girl, Regina feels a hole in her heart form.
Rest and Relaxation
Regina notices her girlfriend overworking herself and takes charge of the "Take Care of Y/N" committee.
A (Different) Cautionary Tale
The story of Mean Girls (2024) with a twist.
Karen Shetty
Study Break? +
Reader has to tutor Karen. Study sessions become steamy VERY quick.
Fun Size
Karen's girlfriend is short. She's tired of it.
First Date Feelings
Karen and Reader go out on their first date.
Gretchen Wieners
Please Be Mine
Gretchen and Y/N had been best friends forever. Feelings grow, Gretchen gets a boyfriend, and everything goes downhill.
Spicy Sick Days
Y/N catches the flu. Gretchen takes care of them. (In more ways than one)
Cady Heron
Stupid With Love (Literally)
Cady Heron is new. Y/N Y/L/N is smitten.
Janis 'Imi'ike
Life Imitates Art
Janis has loved Y/N forever. Y/N has loved Janis forever. Their friends meddle and it's the start of a beautiful relationship.
There For You
Janis and Regina help Reader get over a bad breakup, revealing their feelings for them. (Y/N goes by they/them pronouns in this one.)
Reneè Rapp
On Wednesdays, We Wear Pink
Reneè is off filming Mean Girls and misses her gf. The cast gets together for the cutest surprise.
You're Sick
Reader gets sick. Reneè takes care of her girl.
Forever Will Last
Reader and Reneè hit a rough patch after the Vanity Fair Oscar Party.
Coachella Diaries
Reader supports Reneè at Coachella
Leighton Murray
Frat Parties Suck
It's basically that episode of SLOCG where Leighton and Alicia kiss for the first time but reader replaces Alicia.
Best Friends?
Leighton and Reader have been best friends since forever and both fall in love with each other. Tension rises when Leighton gets back with Alicia and Reader finally reaches the breaking point.
Leap of Faith
Part 2 to "Best Friends?" The roommates call an audible when they see how much the aftermath of the Incident™️ is affecting both girls. Help comes in the form of the Murray family.
Savior
Leighton meets reader in her math class and is instantly smitten. However, as weeks go on, Leighton sees that the reader's kindness is getting taken advantage of, causing her girl to burn out. Leighton takes matters into her own hands.
Hydrate or Diedrate
Leighton and Tatum's girlfriend gets a bad case of heatstroke during track practice. Her two favorite blondes take care of her.
Gaydar Issues
Leighton doesn't really know how to talk to girls. She made the mistake of failing to talk to Reader in front of Bela, which leads to a very awkward intervention.
#mean girls imagines#regina george x reader#gretchen wieners x reader#karen shetty x reader#cady heron x reader#janis imi'ike x reader#mean girls 2024#reneè rapp x reader#leighton murray x reader#plastics x reader
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I’m going to be discussing spoilers from the new update, specifically entailing Eddie. Spoilers are below the cut, so, like. Spoiler alert
One thing that stuck out to me right before Eddie “goes to Toyland” (which is what’s implied to happen) is the anger he felt. To me it felt incredibly out of place. Out of place for what’s supposed to be a children’s show, and out of place for Eddie.
We’ve seen Eddie in situations substantially worse for his staying focused on the job than people not having any mail. We’ve seen people jump at him, get pressured into literally lifting other people (and possibly a fucking house), and was too nervous to speak up for himself. We’ve seen him take a lot of shit from both Howdy and Barnaby in the audios, and he more or less took it on the chin. Julie overwhelmed him with her business game, and instead of getting frustrated, he just kind of… curled up.
So this strikes me as particularly odd. There are two explanations I can think of to explain why it happened. The first is a theory I’ve seen floated around about the puppets slowly deviating from the in-universe writers’ design. We see this contrast between how everyone acts in the books and ads and how they act in the bug audios; Barnaby had a twinge of meanness, Julie had a personality beyond being ADHD incarnate, Frank expressed kindness. It’s not out of the question. The second theory is based off of a few observations from earlier on: Eddie is notably from out of town, and is loosely implied to have moved in last out of the main cast. It wouldn’t be absurd to say that this leads him to being “not with the program”, even if him being the newest addition is only in-universe for the show (as opposed to him being literally constructed and written last)
The second thing that was prominent to me was Home’s response to Eddie entering Toyland. This is quite plainly conspicuous and intentional, but I wanted to bring attention to it because of the interesting implications of it. First off, Home is pretty much confirmed to be sentient now. I’ll be damned if there’s any coherent counterargument that doesn’t boil down to going “nuh-uh”. Second, Home is at minimum recognizing that something is happening to Eddie. It’s not clear whether Home is aware of what specifically is happening to Eddie, or whether or not Home had a hand in setting off the incident, but the fact that home recognized that something was happening to Eddie nearly instantly solidifies how intelligent and aware Home actually is. This isn’t inherently surprising, since we’ve already gotten word-of-God confirmation that Home has repeatedly beaten Frank at chess, however, this is the most pointed and direct example that we’ve seen in the actual project.
Third, the fact that Eddie specifically had The Horrors™️ enacted upon him first specifically (at least, as far as we’re explicitly aware of; It’s unclear whether Wally counts as having experienced The Horrors™️ or if he is the arbitrator of them. More on that later) lends to some very interesting suggestions. Five possible explanations I can think of work as follows: One, he knew too much about either the nature of whatever specifically is weird about Home (town), whether that be Home (house), Wally, another character, the monsters of the night, something else about the night, or he knew too much about his nature as a fictional character. There is some speculative support for this; first, the aforementioned outsider angle that he’s been played with, and second, his parallels to the scrapped character Sunny. Sunny was the most recent to move in within the beta continuity, he was the love interest for Frank, he was smart and likely knew too much, and he disappeared first. Two, his outburst earlier in the day proved to be too out of character and thus a risk and liability to whoever was in control of what happened to him. Aside from my above breakdown of that scene, and from the fact that there’s very prominent examples of Playfellow and Marlo (or perhaps Wally, if for whatever reason Evil Wally ends up being true) blatantly straightwashing characters and possibly suppressing free will of the characters, assuming that’s what we’re meant to take away from the bug audios. Three, Eddie realized the actual absurdity of the Pea On A Plate and “woke up”, lucid dream style. I don’t really like this interpretation, since the fact that it’s in several promotional materials and companion merchandise suggests that it was an absurdist humor bit in-universe, which isn’t farfetched considering how children’s shows tend to be. Four, there’s another reason that’s yet to be revealed as to why Eddie got selected first. To be a total Devil’s advocate, we’re still relatively early in what’s looking to be a very slow-paced story. We’re not gonna have all the details, and red herrings are going to pop up, intentionally or otherwise. Five, Eddie was selected randomly or with no actual reason.
There’s also a few possibilities for who sent Eddie to Toyland, which is interesting to me. First, it could be Home. It wouldn’t be surprising considering its mysterious and noted uncanny nature, and its prominence during that scene. Second, it could be Wally. While I personally don’t find it to be the most reasonable, since something of this magnitude being perpetrated by a character we have a face to would likely involve that character, there’s enough evidence of Wally acting aware and generally odd where it isn’t completely absurd. Additionally, it’s entirely plausible that Wally’s conspicuous absence during the entire arc is indicative of some sort of guilt. Third, the show writers, someone at Playfellow, or another party along those lines somehow caused it, either by technological or supernatural means we don’t know about or by some accidental bout of supernatural fuckery, such as rewriting something and it having bizarre effects on the characters. It’s out there, but not out of the question considering the weird shit they’ve done. On top of that, it’s not impossible that another entity or force somehow caused this that either hasn’t been revealed or explained yet.
As to what Toyland actually entails, I’ve concocted a few theories. One, he literally got up and mentally teleported to a land of giant toys. Two, it’s full Star Trek mode and there’s Horrors™️ so mentally stimulating that the only way it could be perceived by either us or Eddie that that’s all it can be perceived as. Three, Going To Toyland is some sort of initiation, rite of passage, or method of psychologically controlling the cast that everyone else either doesn’t realize is happening or has their memories of it forcibly suppressed. This could be supported by the aforementioned “Eddie is an Outsider” and it’s possibly his first Homewarming since moving to the area. After all, a housewarming is a celebration that welcomes and initiates someone to the neighborhood; would it be that odd that Homewarming is a twisted version of that?
Anyways. Those are my observations and a bunch of interpretations. Part of why I love this project so much is how mysterious and unclear the exact details are, creating excellent suspense and a drive to theorize, and leading up to a truly gobsmacking reveal or conclusion. This update certainly delivered. Whatever the answer is for any of the branching paths I described, it’ll almost definitely reveal how truly fucked up the perpetrator is (or, alternatively, how utterly fucked up the situation is in general, if there ends up not being an instigator) for, y’know, doing that. Clown and Co., you’ve certainly outdone yourselves, and the wait was worth it; this speculative theorycrafting this update has provided is absolutely incredible.
#welcome home#welcome home arg#wally darling#welcome home home#eddie dear#welcome home wally darling#welcome home wally#welcome home eddie#welcome home eddie dear#welcome home spoilers#welcome home speculation#welcome home update#welcome home theory
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Sugar, Spice & Please Fuck Me Nice (neighbor!joel AU)
chapter two: sex and candy
*18+ minors DNI*
tags: mentions of anxiety, religious shame/guilt, reader being insecure, mentions of (negative) past sexual experiences and partners, brief mention of alcohol consumption, v fingering, oral (f receiving) joel is a cunnilinguist, 2000’s nostalgia, mentions of the patriarchy (booooo) squirting (sue me), Joel-Land™️™️™️
reader has hair that she fidgets with, "grows warm" /"cheeks burning" but not necessarily blushing, with embarrassment - minor edits to make this more inclusive for my readers <3
word count: ~4.5k
Author/s notes: Sorry it took longer to get ch. 2 out than I anticipated. I've had a lot going on in my personal life (I got a new job!) But I promise it won't be as long for ch. 3 hehe. this is a lengthy chapter, hope y'all enjoy!!
had to name reader's bestie after my dear friend @katiexpunk <3 thanks for always letting me run ideas by you and being a peach in general.
and thank you to @softiedingo for being a beta reader as well <333
It has been two weeks since you introduced yourself to Joel and Sarah. You hate to admit it, but you haven’t been able to stop thinking about Joel. Your mind will stay preoccupied temporarily, then they circle back to him.
Throwing clothes in the washer? Joel.
Boiling water for pasta? Joel.
Doing the dishes? Joel.
In the shower? Yep, definitely Joel.
And this morning is no different.
You’re staring at yourself in your bathroom mirror, brushing your teeth, mind deep into Joel-Land, then your thoughts take a sharp turn - for the worst. You’re thinking about all of your past sexual encounters.
How unsatisfying and selfish your past partners were. You hadn’t been romantically involved with any of your past partners, all of them casual-no-strings-attached type of arrangements.
Even if the sex was casual, did that mean the pleasure had to be one-sided? Of course not.
However, after each encounter you found yourself feeling disappointed, and truthfully, it made you feel…..icky. Was it religious shame? Even though you don’t participate or believe in any religion anymore, your formative years were spent in a conservative, Christian church; where sex is bad, and sin is bad. And you don’t want to be bad, because you will go to hell. You don’t even believe in hell, yet, there is a small voice in your head that still worries about eternal damnation. Jeez, I should really see a therapist about that.
Perhaps it’s the misogyny and sexism, rampant and hard-wired into society and into mind’s since the beginning of time.
Your internal theological and philosophical debate gives you a throbbing headache.
+++
It’s Friday. Halloween falls on a Tuesday this year, so most Halloween celebrations would occur this weekend.
If you were still in college, you’d most likely attend a costume party at a frat party and drink until the sun came up. These days, you don’t recover from hangovers as easily and find the anxiety spiral that follows a night of drinking to be too debilitating so you’re planning on keeping it chill this year.
You’re pouring out a bag of candy into a bowl, so candy is easily accessible for your sweet tooth cravings when you hear a strong, loud cluster of knocks at your front door.
Knock. Knock. Knock-knock.
Shaking off your initial startling from the sudden knocks, you open your front door to find Joel. He’s leaning his shoulder on the doorframe, one half of his body bears all his weight. He swiftly straightens upright again when you greet him. He looks even more handsome from the last time you saw him. He’s wearing dark wash jeans that accentuate his body in the most delectable way and a black t-shirt with a faded MILLER CONSTRUCTION graphic that is just barely legible.
You have the urge to steal the well-worn shirt so you can sleep in it, relish his scent, and let it become a metaphorical embrace of Joel.
Fuck, I really am down bad, you internally scold yourself to come back to the present moment.
“Joel! Ho-how are you?” you manage to creak out through nerves and surprise.
His beautiful, dark brown eyes are staring right into yours. His eyes could compel you to do anything.
“I’m doin’ alright, you?” The word ‘alright’ is drawn out making it sound like “awllll-right”
“Can’t complain. Y’all settling in okay?” tilting your head unconsciously, as if to convey genuinity.
“Oh yeah, ‘s a nice neighborhood. Sarah seems to be enjoyin’ her new school, I was a lil worried she’d have a hard time but she’s a smart kid and gets along with pretty much everyone. Awful silly of me to worry in the first place…” he’s rambling, hands moving at the same pace as his speech.
You find his rambling to be cute, it’s a bit of a juxtaposition from his strong, demanding presence.
Joel realizes he’s nervous after he concludes his tangent. When’s the last time he felt nervous around women? Especially a sweet, non-threatening woman like you?
“Anywho, I came over to uh- ask you somethin’... Sarah liked your cookies so much she wants to learn how to make them herself and was wondering if you’d teach her?”
“I’d love to!” You shoot him a flattered smile, learning that Sarah wanted you to teach her to bake makes your heart sing.
Joel is amazed at you. You agreed to teach a twelve year old, one who you hardly know, to bake. He shouldn’t be surprised given your sweet demeanor and generous heart, but he’s in awe of you.
“You sure? I mean, you obviously don’t have to if you don’t want—”
“Joel, I’d be honored to. Send her over in an hour,” you cut him off, hoping to convey your delight in teaching someone else to bake, the same way your grandma did for you.
Joel can’t stop the shit-eating grin that appears on his face.
“Sounds good. I’ll send her your way, sweetheart,” he lingers just for a moment to watch your reaction to the nickname, the one he’s used twice.
You desperately try to keep your composure cool and collected, but you’ve never had a good poker face. You wear your emotions like an accessory. And right now, you are flustered. You divert your attention to the ground as if looking into his eyes would expose your every thought.
“O-okay!” You can barely stammer out a response before he is pivoting off your porch, back to his own house.
You can’t see it with his back turned to you, but Joel is smirking to himself and feeling amused at his effect on you.
+++
“You sure you don’t want me to go with you?”
“Yes, dad. I don’t need a chaperone to bake cookies. I’m a big girl now, remember?”
Yes, he is acutely aware that she is a big girl now. Well, not really, to him she will always be his baby girl, but that doesn’t stop her from growing up. Too fast for his liking. The idea of her becoming a teenager almost gives him a coronary. It won’t be long before she’s driving, then graduating, and college. What if she wants to attend a school in another state? Across the country?
He feels queasy at that thought, afraid that she will grow out of thinking her dad is the coolest, afraid that she doesn’t want to spend time with her old man anymore.
He wills himself to think about something else. Anything else. Inevitably his thoughts wander to you.
Joel hates to admit it, but he was hoping to join Sarah for the baking lesson. He wants an excuse to be in your radiant, sweet, beautiful presence again.
While you can’t stop thinking about him, he can’t stop thinking about you.
Driving home from work? You.
Making dinner? You.
Making his morning coffee? You.
Laying in bed? Oh, yeah. Definitely you.
Exactly one hour passes when Sarah arrives at your house. You’ve already set up in your kitchen in preparation; already pre-measured the ingredients, setting out all the necessary baking equipment and you even found a spare apron for Sarah to wear. Ya know, to give her the full experience.
“Oooh, this apron makes me feel like a professional!” Sarah exclaims after tying the strings on her designated apron.
“Well, after this, you will be.”
You can’t remember the last time you felt this much joy. Sharing a passion of yours with someone who is eager to learn from you delights your heart and soul in a way you didn’t know you needed until now.
“So first, we’ll need to combine the butter and sugar,” Sarah dumps the butter and sugar into the mixing bowl. “Great, now we want to beat the mixture until it looks fluffy.”
She is completely engrossed in watching for the desired texture, furrowing her brows together in a way that mimics Joel. You find it adorable.
“Excellent, now we are going to add in the eggs and vanilla extract.”
She follows your instructions to a T, meticulous and concentrated as if she were mixing hazardous chemicals in a lab.
“You’re doing great. Now let’s add our dry ingredients, half of it at a time.”
Her eyes light up when it’s time to fold in the chocolate chips. You both agree it’s the best part, both of you indulging in a few before adding them to the dough.
You assist Sarah in rolling the dough into little balls and placing them onto the baking sheet.
While waiting for the cookies to bake, you learn more about Sarah and Joel. She tells you about their old house, the camping trip they went on this past summer, the catchy pop songs on the radio that Joel will pretend to hate but she catches him humming the tune later, how Joel makes a big breakfast for the two of them every Sunday, a ritual they started when Sarah started school - he makes pancakes just for her.
Getting a snapshot of Joel and Sarah’s lives and their dynamic makes your mega crush on Joel that much bigger. From what Sarah has shared with you, he seems like a caring, protective yet fun dad. You’re aching to learn everything about him.
“Do you have any plans for Halloween?” Sarah asks as you’re pulling the baking sheet out of the oven.
“Oh um, I usually just hand out candy to trick-or-treaters. Nothing super exciting. What about you?”
“We always order pizza and watch a scary movie - nothing super scary though. We dress up too. Well, I dress up but dad thinks he is too cool to do that so he wears the same boring mask every year,” she has a mischievous grin on her face, concocting a plan when she asks, “do you want to come over and join us?”
On one hand you’d love nothing more than to spend more time with your new friend and Joel, but on the other hand the thought of being in the same room as Joel, in his house, makes you both anxious and aroused. Dizzy, nervous, and horny makes for an unpleasant combination.
Gaining a sliver of bravery, you swallow your apprehension and say yes.
“Sure, yeah, what time should I come over?”
“6:30. And you better wear a costume!”
+++
You’ve spent the past hour trying to put a costume together. Not making any progress, you decide to seek external advice - your best friend Katie.
You both met as freshman and have been close friends ever since, even rooming together in your first off-campus apartment. She moved to the West Coast shortly after graduation, though you still keep in touch via email and phone. You give her the scoop on Joel - him moving into the neighborhood, your gigantic crush on him, how you baked cookies with Sarah yesterday. She’s impatiently waiting for you to bone your hot neighbor. Girl, I’m waiting too.
“Do you still have that bunny costume you wore junior year?”
You rummage through your tote of seasonal clothing in search of said costume. Pulling it out, you now realize just how skimpy the costume really is. Bunny ears and a tail paired with a skin tight black bodysuit leaves virtually nothing to the imagination and definitely too much skin for this occasion.
“Dude, I can’t wear this! His daughter will be there! I can’t believe I wore this out in public. This is X-Rated,” you’re growing agitated in having no success in your costume, to the point that you are tempted to tell Sarah you came down with something so you don’t have to go.
“Okay, okay, the ears and tail are still salvageable. Do you have something besides the bodysuit?”
“Ummm…” you trail off into the phone, frantically searching for something to replace the risque bodysuit. You find a plain white baby tee amongst the sea of clothing, deciding you can pair it with your favorite jeans, the ones that accentuate your body in all the right places.
“This could work..” muttering to yourself when a devious thought pops into your head. White shirt, no bra.
“Found it! Gotta go, loveyoubye!” You hang up the call before Katie has a chance to respond, tossing your pink Razr on your bed. Your body hums in anticipation and jitters, feeling emboldened by your no bra plot.
After throwing on your outfit, you style your hair differently than you normally do. You add several coats of mascara to your lashes, sweep on some blush that complements your skin and add a sparkly lip gloss to your lips, making them appear extra plump and juicy.
You grab a bag of Halloween candy and you practically skip across the street. Reaching the front door of your new bestie and her gorgeous dad, your confidence is replaced with a furious ball of anxiety. Your heart is palpitating and you feel your stomach churn.
Would Joel think you looked stupid? Or worse, childish? Fuck, you should’ve stayed home.
Joel opening the door snaps you out of your thought spiral but only briefly, because he’s staring at you like you’ve started growing extra limbs. He looks both puzzled and pissed?
“What uh-what’re you doing here?”
His voice has a sharpness you haven’t heard before and it stings.
You have a moment of realization.
Sarah didn’t run the invitation by her dad.
You deduct that he isn’t a fan of surprises.
Before you can formulate a response, Sarah saves you from having to do so.
“You dressed up! I’m glad you came,” she squeals while wrapping her arms around your middle in an embrace.
She looks up at Joel from where she’s latched onto you and gives her confused dad an explanation.
“Dad, it’s okay, I invited her.”
That seems to alleviate his confusion. You, on the other hand, not so much. You’re internally screaming at yourself. It’s obvious to you that Joel wasn’t expecting you, and in conclusion, doesn’t want you here.
“I didn’t mean to impose, I—I’m sorry, I’ll uh— just go back home,” fighting back tears of embarrassment, looking everywhere except at Joel. You think now is a superb time to move across the country, change your name, dye your hair, somewhere far away from this humiliation.
Joel senses you’re feeling rejected in some way.
“No, no, come on in. Jus’ wasn’t expectin’ you s’all,” he gives you his most reassuring smile.
You swallow the lump of emotions in your throat.
He didn’t expect you to come over, nor did he expect you’d show up as his personal version of a Playboy bunny. He almost busted in his jeans when he could see your nipples through your very thin white t-shirt. He thinks you’re trying to kill him.
+++
You’re starting to relax once you three settle on the couch, Sarah nestling between you and Joel, Alien on the TV. Turns out, you and Joel share a love for the film. You may or may not have gotten into a heated (playful) debate about the other films in the franchise.
Joel gets an influx of trick-or-treaters, more than you usually get, residents of the neighborhood taking advantage of this opportunity to be nosy. Again.
In between costume clad visitors, you sneak glances at Joel, who looks absolutely scrumptious tonight. His hair had been damp and combed back when you arrived, his curls now almost dry and in all their glory. He’s wearing an obviously well-loved, faded Pearl Jam concert tee that clings to his arms and grey sweatpants that sit dangerously low on his hips. You wonder if all his shirts fit like that. When he stands, you can see the outline of his dick through his sweatpants. You have to manually restrain yourself from pouncing on him. You’re soaking through your panties and you’re a little worried that if you stand, the seat beneath you will be soaked too.
The scent of his body wash invades your nostrils, a heavenly mix of sandalwood and cinnamon. You’re imagining yourself running your hands through his hair and burying your nose into his neck, alternating between kissing and sucking on the skin there. You want to taste every inch of his skin, taking your time to savor him.
Joel’s stealing glances at you, too. He’s never seen someone look so sweet and seductive, divine even. You smell warm and sweet, amber and vanilla. Not the artificial, manufactured type vanilla scent, it’s like vanilla straight from the bean. When you readjust your position on the couch to get more comfortable, your tits lightly bounce, unrestrained by a bra. He has to stifle a groan, disguising it as a cough. He wonders how much they’d bounce if you were riding his cock. Your lips are absolutely sinful. Pouty and plump, juicy from the lip gloss. The bunny ears are the nail in his coffin. He’s picturing you bent over on his couch, still wearing the bunny ears as he devours your pussy from behind.
Only a quarter of the way through the movie, a few of Sarah’s friends from her old school pop in to invite her over for an impromptu sleepover to which Joel agrees to, since they no longer go to school together.
Which means you and Joel are left alone. Together. Your body is aching to close space between you and the man you’re enamored with. You don’t know that Joel is itching to do the same.
“Sarah couldn’t stop talkin’ bout yesterday. She loved hangin’ out with ya, thanks again for doin’ that.”
“She’s welcome to come over anytime. She’s a sweet kid,” you’re beaming at the fact she enjoyed baking with you. Joel notices the way your eyes gleam, overflowing with delight.
You finally have the courage to meet his eyes. The way his eyes are raking over your entire body makes your clit throb in anticipation. Your heartbeat is erratic, thumping loudly in your ears.
The energy in the room is magnetic, pulling you and Joel closer together.
“You can uh-scoot closer t’me if ya want,” he gruffs out, beckoning you to scoot closer to him. Joel wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but you make him feel like a flustered teenage boy about to kiss a girl for the first time.
You scoot closer to Joel, hoping he doesn’t notice your body trembling from nerves.
With your body flush next to his, he stretches one of his toned arms behind your head, resting it on the back of the couch. You can feel the warmth radiating from his body and it sends a shiver down your spine, straight to your aching core.
The tension in the air is palpable, both of your bodies buzzing in arousal. You’re both pretending to watch the movie in front of you, but your minds are elsewhere. He gently removes his arm from the couch and rests it across your shoulders. It’s a seemingly innocuous gesture, but its impact makes you clench around nothing, more arousal dripping into your panties.
He leans his head down close to yours, his mouth behind your ear.
“No bra? You’re a naughty lil bunny aren’t ya?” His hot breath tickles your ear, your eyes clamp shut involuntarily and you whimper. A high-pitched, whiny whimper, and Joel’s never heard anything sweeter.
He places his other large palm on your thigh, gently squeezing it. Your skin prickling in goosebumps and your nipples are hard enough to cut glass. The wetness pooled in your panties is beyond the point of comfort.
Joel presses a chaste kiss behind your ear, eliciting another whimper from you. He peppers kisses from your neck all the way to your collarbones.
“This okay?”
“Mhmmm…” You’re already so keyed up you feel hazy. Your whole body feels hot, lit aflame by Joel’s lips on your skin.
“You gonna be a good girl for me?” he rasps while his hand is caressing your thigh, intentionally not too close to where you want him. Need him.
“Mhmmm,” you moan, still unable to form words, arousal taking over all of your bodily functions.
“Need you to use your words, honey.” He squeezes your thigh again.
He pulls his face back from your neck to look you in the eyes, and slows his movements on your thigh so you can tell him to back off or give him the green light to continue. You grab his hand on your thigh and squeeze it, to keep him from removing it.
“Joel, pleeease. Want it so bad. Need you so fuckin’ bad.”
You beg in the most sultry voice you can muster, emphasizing every syllable.
Your lust laden eyes and the way you mewl for him ignites something ravenous, primal, carnal in him. He hasn’t heard you cuss before and it sounds so filthy in your honeyed voice. His rock hard cock twitches in his pants.
He presses his plush lips against yours. It’s hesitant at first, but his apprehension dissipates when you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him back with fervor. Joel deepens the kiss, one hand gripping your hip, the other hand splayed between your shoulder blades, pressing your body further into his. You tangle one of your hands in his luscious curls. He tastes like sweet peppermint and a hint of black coffee. You feel dizzy, tasting him, finally feeling him.
He breaks the kiss, guiding you to lie down on your back and props your head up on one of the couch armrests.
He’s looking down at you and he’s never seen anything more beautiful. You’re always pretty, effortlessly so. But seeing you underneath him, sweet and desperate for him? He’d do anything you ask him to.
“You’re the prettiest lil bunny. So fuckin’ pretty.”
You’re bashful under his gaze and his compliment, cheeks burning.
Joel notices you trying to shy away and he places a thumb under your chin, forcing you to keep looking at him.
Now you feel embarrassed for trying to shy away in the first place.
“Sorry I’m—”
“Nothing to ‘pologize for, sweetheart,” he’s caressing your chin with his thumb, alleviating all of the embarrassment from you.
“Wanna taste you. You’ve no idea how bad I’ve wanted to taste you. Needed to know if you were as sweet as your cookies.”
“Oh, fuck,” you breathe out, “yes - yes please, taste me, Joel”
He chuckles softly at your enthusiasm and promptly rids you of your jeans, making the leather of the couch feel cool to the back of your thighs.
Joel lets out a guttural moan when he sees your sky blue satin panties soaked through. He runs a finger over the damp spot, making you quiver. His touch is featherlight and it’s maddening. You’re squirming, hips lifting off the couch, chasing for more.
He obliges, running a finger over your clit with added pressure.
“Joel, please–” You’re a whiny mess under him, and he’s just getting started. He’s rubbing gentle circles over your bud, still-panty clad.
He presses a kiss on your belly, just below your navel. The tenderness makes your body shudder.
He finally removes your panties and you gasp when the cool air hits your throbbing pussy.
“Pretty girl with a pretty pussy to match.” Joel’s admiring the way your pussy is glistening for him, begging to be touched.
He runs a finger through your drenched seam, your juices dripping onto his thick digit. He licks his finger, then shoves it into his mouth so he can taste every drop. His eyes clamp shut, groaning at how you taste. You commit the image to memory, not wanting to forget how he looks and sounds when he tastes you for the first time.
“Knew you’d taste sweet. So fuckin’ sweet.”
Your brain short circuits when you realize that means he’s thought about this before. That he’s imagined how you’d taste. Picturing him fantasizing about you makes you light-headed.
Joel spreads your legs wider, giving him full access to your pussy. He dives in without warning, licking from entrance up to your clit.
“Fuck, Joel!” You hoarsely shout with one hand gripping the couch cushion and one tugging onto Joel’s messy curls. His beard scratches the sensitive skin of your pussy as you grind your hips into his mouth, desperate for release.
You see stars while he expertly alternates between flicking his tongue and sucking on your clit. He’s keeping a steady rhythm, on the slower side, taking his time pleasuring you. He’s enjoying this.
Obscene sounds fill the room; Joel devouring your pussy like it’s the Last Supper and your chorus of moans and expletives.
“Fuck, don’t stop, don’t you fucking stop!”
“Shitshitshit–”
“Joelllll-”
He picks up the pace, your fingers cramping from their deathgrip on the couch. You feel your peak approaching - sweat beading on your forehead, chest heaving, head thrown back in ecstasy.
Joel senses your approaching release and pushes one of his thick, dexterous fingers into your weeping hole.
He reaches for your hand that’s tangled in his hair and intertwines your fingers with his, resting your connected hands on your inner thigh. It’s overwhelming; the intimacy of your interlocked fingers paired with the filthy onslaught of his mouth.
He speeds up as he adds another finger, hitting the spot that no one except you has reached before. You never knew it could feel this amazing. You thought you were doomed to a life of bad sex.
Apparently, you just needed Joel to show you differently. And you are so glad he proved you wrong.
Joel hooks his fingers inside you bringing you closer and closer to that peak you’ve been dying to reach. You’re squeezing his fingers, both the ones inside you and the ones interlaced with yours.
“Joel I-I’m close,” you manage to choke out, mind foggy from the intense pleasure.
He sucks on your clit, hard and you’re coming, entering a euphoric plane of existence. You’re floating, body trembling, coming harder than you’ve ever come before.
Joel slows his fingers and removes his mouth from your pussy, beard glistening with your release, gently bringing you back to reality. He keeps your fingers locked with his, grounding you in the present.
The orgasmic fog clears from your brain, regaining awareness of your surroundings when you feel how drenched your lower half is. Like, really drenched. You lift your head from the armrest and look down and you’re appalled by the scene.
You fucking squirted. Everywhere.
On yourself, on the couch, on Joel. His beard is soaked completely, to the point it’s dripping down his chin. He’s just as stunned as you are.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, fuck I-” you’re scrambling to get off the couch and Joel grabs your arm, stopping you in your tracks.
“What’re you sorry for? That was so fuckin’ hot, sweetheart.”
“I-I didn’t know I could do that…”
“Oh yeah? First time ever squirtin’?
“Yeah, the first time anyone else has made me come… like, ever.”
His gaze goes dark.
You get the feeling that he’s just getting started with you.
And just like your cookies, he’d never have enough.
THE END
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Daniel did a really really really cool interview with Nailing the Apex I highly recommend™️ here are some notable bits
- Daniel said when he first got the rushed x-ray at zandvoort, he kept getting told it's a simple break. However, when he went to Spain and actually spoke to the surgeon, the surgeon told him it's an incredibly bad and complex break
- Daniel said at least knowing it was a very bad spiral break was good because he was in "A LOT of pain" and the severity of pain didn't correlate with the simple break people were assuring him he had and he's glad he's not just a wuss [insert Daniel gushing about how strong Motogp riders are and how they might not be human actually]
- A fan asked Daniel what the worst and best part of having to take a break for injury and the interviewer Tim interjects "sleeping?" But Daniel replies that he was "sleeping in pain because it hurts like hell" :((
- He concludes that there wasn't much good about his recovery period but aleast each day he saw progress
- As for the worst part: having to take a break from training because he'd been training all summer and he'd reached a "beast mode" and finally enjoying all of it
- it was "hard not to feel like a set back. But I didn't allow it to feel like a setback"
- " I feel like I had gotten big and strong [before the injury] and some of that slowly went away." bbgorl :(
-Tim: how did you and Josh Allen become mates?" Daniel: it was love at first sight 🥰
- On Josh Allen, after Daniel went on and on about how similar they are and how compelling he thinks bonding to athletes who play drastically different sports, he wraps it up with "he's a big cutie and I adore him"
- even though Daniel missed a considerable amount of time in the car and it was during a pivotal time where the car had seen big developments, in his first session back he felt immediately in-tune again 🥹
- daniel thinks if F1 should insist on having sprints then something about it has to change, he suggests opening parc ferme on Saturday so that drivers can tweak set ups
- A fan asked daniel if there is any lessons he carries all the way back from being in the RB jr program, to which he answers "tough love." He said maybe he "needed someone to kick him up the butt". He said it made him an adult a little sooner 🙃
it was a really cool interview and I highly recommend, you can tell Daniel likes and is comfortable with Tim
#f1#daniel ricciardo#josh allen#the way he frames the tough love bit didnt sit well with me#i want a tell all book one day
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Dances to Bauhaus Ascended Astarion picking up a couple of other 'brides' along the way has been living rent free in my head... Some NSFW my slimes😏 also I made up a LOT of shit I don't know my DnD m'kay
Imagine it, you are his consort, his undying love, his... Most treasured property. But you're becoming a little unruly for his tastes.
So long being with the same man whose mind is turning to ash before you has proven to be difficult. Your relationship is toxic. It's like he doesn't remember who you are. You're just 'his consort.'
Of course, you become defiant. Small things at first, like denying him kisses, refusing to sit on his lap in front of his court...
This dynamic is cute at first. He spends time chasing you.
It works for a while. Vampire brides are known to be tossed aside by their masters, eventually - Due to their insatiable, nymphomatic lust and utter devotion to the point of irritation. Basically, many are discarded by their masters when they are no longer 'fun' to deal with. I fully made this up lmao wtf... Astarion promised this wouldn't be so between the pair of you when you allowed him to turn you. How time changes a person.
His arrogant behaviour becomes so repulsive, you start declining his more serious advances - to prove a point. He wants to control you fully - But that isn't going to happen. He would not dare discard you, not the person who was by his side all these years. There is a level of obedience you are willing to show, since you are so devoted to him, but you will not be controlled like a porcelain dolly.
You're so old now you often forget what you're fighting about... Until he comes home one day with that THING. It's younger than you. So obedient, like a little lapdog. He demands their kisses all day, in front of you. This creature disgusts you and he is only doing himself absolutely dirty.
"Yes milord. No milord. Of course, milord." It's incessant whining for your husband whilst he fawns over it as it rests on it's knees makes your skin crawl.
This dynamic starts off as a bit of a competition, but once he recruits another one - it's on sight.
"Be more like your sister(s)/brother(s)..." Astarion tells you with that wicked smirk. They are no sibling of yours. They are your prey, and he can look forward to waking up to a severed head on his silken bed if he dares to take things further.
It is actually a long time before any sort of sexual intimacy is even introduced. But after being denied your body three nights and four mornings in a row, Astarion is fed up. The horny howling of that brat makes you seethe. He already ruined you for anybody else. How dare he go and besmirch another when you were already his to begin with.
This is only a temporary fix, however, since you are his favourite. The sex is nowhere near as good or as passionate as it is with you. He can't achieve absolute bliss like he does with you, and this new toy is fun until it wants cuddles... No. That's reserved specifically for the consort™️
He is not actually satisfied. He loves you, whether he cares to admit it or not. Unfortunately, the way your relationship appears is totally skewed, due to his inability to separate obsession from love and the total resentment you have grown into.
These other brides are merely toys. He will eventually grow tired of them. They serve one purpose. You do not. You are his dark consort. You get away with things they could only dream of.
When you do agree to sleep with him again, on your terms of course, you are sure to be as public as possible. You want the entire palace to know how you make him feel. Only you get those delicious moans out of him, his complete spend, his dangerous cravings for more. Best believe when he's balls deep in those brides - He's seeing your face.
The other brides look at you in absolute awe. Who is this beautiful holy being before them?
Astarion cannot be more pleased when you agree to intimacy again. Whilst he would love nothing more than to fuck you all day, he finds himself compromising - if it means he can keep his sweet consort.
However, when he acquires a third bride, this is when your murderous tendencies begin. You want to attract his attention, but you want to do it in front of the other brides. Killing his subjects, disobeying him and escaping punishment in front of those sorry excuses for playthings... Silly little things, but you begin to take enjoyment in killing after a while.
The other brides kneel and worship him, begging him not to take out his displeasure on them as you sit scowling on his lap. Astarion is becoming absolutely vexed by this behaviour. All he desired was for his consort to sit on his lap and accept some affection - So why are his lips kissing you so greedily all over your face and lips to receive nothing in return? The vampire growls lowly when your mouth doesn't move in reaction to his.
"Misery doesn't suit that pretty face of yours, my dear..." he snarls. There is still no reaction when he bites the fatty part of your lower lip, drawing blood... No moaning when he kisses your neck exactly how you like it. Not even pathetic namecalling or fighting back as he marks you. Just plain, spiteful silence.
The brides look on in disgust. Had one of them done that, he would have had them flogged. Punished in the worst way possible. When you notice their distaste for the situation, a grin blooms on your lips. Justice.
"Leave us," is the next command from his lips. Oh. It seems he wants to deal with you in private. His pets file out, huddling at the door to listen.
How they gasp and look between themselves in horror when you receive a chance to redeem yourself. On your knees, gazing up at him, caressing his thighs as you tell him, "you know that I would do anything for you, darling..."
Manipulating Astarion in these sorts of situations is surprisingly easy. He's whipped.
One thing that never fails to get him instahard is watching your mischief. (Usually.)
You had been feeling rather generous today, finding yourself sat on his desk as his mouth explored your other pair of lips beneath your skirts/your length beneath his cape. A scout comes running in, failing to knock first. The lustful visage on your face being seen was no bother to you - but something isn't right when Astarion merely lets it slide. What is he doing? Pathetic.
Disappearing into thin air, you reappear behind the spawn, frightening him out of his skin. In your hand is Astarion's dagger, from the belt of his own trousers.
Little minx. When did you pinch that?
"What is your name, darling?" you coo, a playful grin on your features as you circle him hungrily.
"E-Edgar... Milady/Milord..." is the reply.
"There's no need to be frightened of me." There is every reason. You're like death on legs. Astarion rolls his eyes, asking you to leave the poor thing alone. He was told earlier to come and report at this time - you were serving as a distraction.
Nonsense, you think. In one swift motion, the dagger is against the spawns throat from behind.
"Edgar, darling. Tell my husband why I should spare your life... Beg for it."
He babbles and bitches, struggling to come up with excuses beyond sheer foolishness. They're all so frightened of you. It's intoxicating. The way you can clear a room with just a look. How you can influence others to just get things done.
Of course, your man asks you once again to let go, let him be for god's sake. Y/N you're scaring the bitches
With a quick slice, scarlet blood paints the floor and your body, dressed in white. This poor spawn is holding his throat with dismay. He'll be fine. If not a little traumatised.
Licking the blood from the dagger, you can't help but bite your lip with a grin, offering the other side to your husband. This will remind him why he keeps you.
#bg3#ascended!astarion#ascended astarion#ascendant astarion#astarion x tav#astarion x reader#astarion ancunin#astarion#astarion bg3#bg3 astarion#baldur's gate 3#vampire brides
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John pulls his goggles over his face when he's embarrassed, been crying or hasn't slept in a while
Floyd sometimes draws on facial hair
John Dory is often over caffeinated. He can't sit still bc he's got way too much energy. He often paces while eating bc if he sits down, he'll shake
All the boys talk with their hands when they really get into what they're saying. They are passionately talking about something and their hands Moving ™️
John's first tattoo (I believe he would get a few more but Floyd would still be the most tatted) he doesn't remember bc he was really drunk while it happened. He got it done on Branch's birthday way before the band got back together. He was in his feelings that day
Floyd looks the youngest, he's short and baby faced.
John can also look younger when he shaves his face (which offended Bruce when it happened)
If John covers your mouth with his hand, licking wouldn't get him to pull away. He has four little brothers who have all done that at one point and isn't phased by it
The boys shared a room when they were kids
Clay puffs out his cheeks when he gets mad. When on his own at the course, he had to train himself not to do that bc people (trolls) didn't take him seriously when he did. But with his brothers back in his life, that habit resurfaces.
John Dory can not resist the puppy dog eyes, and the little brothers know this and use it to their advantage
Floyd can cry on command
John Dory and Branch mumble to themselves. They just walking around talking to themselves, no biggie.
John Dorys writing style has improved from "baby, baby, girl". He wrote his own songs while on his own. It's mostly feelings stuff, talking about going back and changing things, stuff like that
Floyd has the ability to silently communicate with any of his brothers. Whether it's queer on queer communication with John or younger sibling communication with Clay. He can speak through looks but it only works with whichever brother he's doing it with. He can rope in another if he wants to
Bruce is the self care king. He has to force the others to do self care, mainly JD and Clay.
Floyd has also written his own songs while on his own, he has his own album.
John and Spruce forced Clay and Floyd to go into a haunted house with them as kids. Floyd DID NOT wanna go, practically had to be dragged in. Needless to say, the two of them almost pissed themselves with fear and JD never forced them to do it again. Spruce however, did try it again and was told no by John.
Floyd is afraid of clowns
John is incredibly handy but it's only out of necessity.
Bruce is still a little self conscious about his body. He has some bad days but as long as he's comfortable in is own skin, he's happy
Clay likes puzzles
John also likes puzzles but he likes the 'figure it out' type puzzles not put it together puzzles
All of the boys will have at least two kids at the minimum. They loved having siblings no matter what they say and want the same for their kids
#trolls#brozone#trolls john dory#trolls floyd#trolls clay#trolls bruce#branch trolls#trolls headcanon#trolls headcanons#brozone hc#brozone hcs
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Drop some fluffy KuniChuu HCs?
fluff is not my forte so some of these lean more towards hurt/comfort but here you go <3
they enjoy cooking together!! kunikida actually likes cooking most of the time, but to chuuya, it's always been just something they have to do. until they start making meals with kunikida and then cooking becomes something they start looking forward to
chuuya calling kunikida "pretty boy" forever and always my beloved
chuuya stops by the agency office to have lunch with kunikida sometimes. especially on days when he knows kunikida is busy and will likely put off lunch (or skip it entirely) unless someone forces him to take a break from his work
when chuuya has bad pain days, kunikida will run them a warm bath and wash their hair for them and he'll kiss the scars corruption has left on chuuya's arms and while it doesn't fix everything, the warm water helps soothe the pain somewhat and just having kunikida there does make chuuya feel significantly better
chuuya stealing kunikida's clothes!! chuuya's favorite pajamas quickly become just one of kunikida's old t-shirts or sweaters. kunikida can't even complain bc he thinks chuuya looks adorable drowning in his shirts
chuuya wanting ceiling time™️ but also wanting to be with kunikida so they use their ability to bring kunikida to ceiling time with them,, and they just sort of sit on the ceiling in comfortable silence with kunikida holding chuuya
chuuya enjoys sitting on kunikida's lap. kunikida also enjoys chuuya sitting on his lap.
that being said, if chuuya thinks kunikida is doing too much work or he's bored waiting for kunikida to be ready to get lunch with him, they will just go sit themself on kunikida's lap and make it increasingly hard for him to actually get anything done until he just gives up
chuuya likes to call kunikida when they're having a slow day at work or just to talk while they have to do boring paperwork or whatever. also occasionally on the way to missions if the drive is a long one
speaking of driving. between the two of them, kunikida is usually the one to drive. this is because he is very very bad at being a passenger. it's okay though because chuuya very much enjoys just lovingly watching kunikida drive
however, when he's having a bad day with his hands, he will (begrudgingly) allow chuuya to drive instead
when kunikida drives, he very firmly always keeps both hands on the steering wheel. but when chuuya drives, they like holding kunikida's hand. kunikida tells them not to, but he doesn't ever actually pull away bc it eases his not-being-the-driver anxiety
chuuya painting kunikida's fingernails please i need it p lease--
chuuya flusters kunikida by flirting with him and calling him pet names. kunikida flusters chuuya through physical affection.
kunikida likes kissing the top of chuuya's head and also the freckles on their cheeks and shoulders. chuuya likes kissing kunikida's hands.
i just want them to be silly stupid in love they are so important to me!!!
#i just think. they..#kunichuu#kunikida doppo#chuuya nakahara#bsd#bungou stray dogs#ty for the ask this was fun#i love sharing headcanons <3#asks#anon asks
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Hi! 👋 Is there anything you don't write or something you enjoy writing about the most? If you're alright with that, could you write something about jd and a reader who loves animals and is always feeding stray cats and dogs? Maybe has exotic pets as well? Id love for it to be something with a masc reader or gender neutral. HC, oneshot, whatever you feel like
"This Again?" J.D. x GN!Reader
summary; see asked ^
notes; GUYS IK I HAVEN'T POSTED ANYTHING AND I'M TRYING TO WORK BACKWARDS WITH REQUESTS, PLEASE GIVE ME MORE SO IT WILL HELP ME GET MORE OUT. ALSO FIRST ONESHOT PLEASE BE NICE!!
warnings; intended lowercase, swearing, j.d.'s shit™️
word count; 999 words
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second person pov;
it was a slow saturday and you had decided to pay your boyfriend, j.d. a little visit. you had been with him for a little over 5 months and you loved him to pieces. albeit, he was a little frustrating at times, especially with nagging. no matter, you two were hopelessly in love, high school sweethearts who were still in high school.
on your way to his house, however, you heard a grey tabby kitten meowing from across the road. it looked to be hungry and very skinny. you could tell it hadn't had food in days.
'poor thing..' you thought, while simultaneously crossing the street to take care of it. when you went to go up to the small animal, it back away frightened. with a small frown you pulled out a few cat treat's from your side bag that would have gone to your cat, but let's be honest, he was spoiled enough.
you crouched down to the kittens level and held your hand out for it to inspect. the kitten curiously walked towards your hand and sniffed it. it flinched and then went back to sniffing it. after about 45 seconds of the kitten making sure you weren't gonna hurt it, it hesitantly ate the treats out of your hand. you smiled softly at it and went along with your journey to your boyfriend's house.
after a few minutes you noticed the cat was following behind you, seemingly wanting more out of you. you sigh and you melted at the cute animal, how could you not want to keep such a cute thing? you carefully picked it up, inspecting it for fleas and tics. it meowed a few times and you laughed every time it did. sometimes you would meow back at it, it was a habit honestly. once finding out it was parasite free, and finding out that it was a girl. you cradled her in your arms.
"i think i'm gonna name you millie." you smiled down at your new companion, occasionally petting her soft fur. for a stray with no collar and looked starved, she was oddly well-kept. millie softly purred at the new-found affection and stayed snuggled in your arms.
the walk to your boyfriend's house went by relatively quickly with millie to keep you company. every so often, you coo about how she was going to love all your other animals at home.
once arriving to the beautiful house, you knocked at the door. after not receiving an answer you groaned and tried again. eventually, your boyfriend did answer the door and looked at you, and then your arms.
"what's that?" he asked snidely. you just rolled your eyes and let yourself in, since you were used to his bullshit.
"what happened to hello and how are you?" you replied sarcastically. he sighed and went to the kitchen to pour you a glass of water, you followed suit.
your arms were going a little numb from carrying your little girl. he smiled at you looking down at the new cat and gave her a few pets. he was always gentle with animals. he kissed your forehead and carried the glasses of water to the living room with you.
"hello, darling. it's nice to see you."
"that's more like it." you nodded and sat at his couch. you placed millie in your lap and she comfortably curled up and closed her eyes, taking a nap on your lap.
j.d. sat down next to you, your legs touching and guided your head to rest on his shoulder. you smiled and closed your eyes while subconsciously petting millie.
"it's like you pluck every animal off the street and take them to live with you." he chuckles, making you open your eyes. you sighed once more, knowing he was somewhat right. that wouldn't stop you from protesting.
"you're just mad you don't find little guys like this on the street." you whispered, for you were a little tired. he saw this and patted your cheek, making your head jolt up. he laughed at you, not in a teasing way, he just thought you were cute.
"it's cute, i'll admit that much. is it a girl or boy?" he gave the kitten another little pet before his hand trailed down to your thigh. you clicked your tongue and laughed softly, you moved his hand back into his own lap. as much as you enjoyed the affection, now was not the time to be hot and heavy.
"she's a girl. i named her millie." you smiled down at her, she looked so peaceful as she slept in your lap. j.d. laughed at your softness with the animal.
"no, i know you aren't laughing. you love every single animal i take in!" you whisper-yell as to not wake the cat.
"i know, i know, i'm just teasing darling... hey, isn't millie the name you were gonna name that rat?" he simpered at you reusing the name. you feigned shock and betrayal but sigh with a small chuckle.
"yeah, but i just feel like bathtub was a better name." you sighed, knowing j.d.'s going to make another snide comment.
"no, you need to throw that fucker into a bathtub because i swear to god..." he trailed off. you playfully smacked him on the arm and he let's out a small 'ow.'
"rat's are actually very clean animals, plus i know you love him." you correct him. he mimicked you and you rolled your eyes with a small smile.
"don't be like that."
"i don't like that rat, it bites at my shoes." he complained with a exaggerated sad tone
"oh your poor shoes, he only does that because you kicked him."
"by accident!" he exclaimed. you laughed and the mix of the two loud sounds wakes millie up. she meows at the two of you. both your eyes were now directed at her. you and jason both looked back at each other and laughed. maybe you were an outward animal lover, but deep down, you knew j.d. was one too.
after another meow, you meow back at her.
"what? are you a cat too now?" j.d. grins and pulls you closer with a hand on your waist. you gave a small chuckle and shake your head.
"it's habit, my love." you respond. he nods in understanding and kisses your temple, watching you play with millie's paws.
he admired you playing with your new friend and eventually got up to get the new addition to the family a bowl of water.
-
GUYS IDK HOW I LIKE THIS.
#heathers the movie#heathers the musical#jason dean#heathers 1988#jd#jd x reader#jason dean x reader#oneshot#jason dean x gn!reader#guys i love him so much i GRAH#like honestly though he's such a cutie#i love animals too though like#they're so agfhagfk#THANK YOU FOR READING I LOVE YOUUUUUU
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Absolutely nobody was wondering my opinion on this but I wrote this out in my drafts last night at like 4am so here is my order of the eggs heights! It’s very real and canon and I will not be taking any criticism (I’m kidding please tell me your thoughts and opinions if you’d like to! 🤲🏻🩷)
First of all, to me, the eggs are still young so when I’m saying any of them are “tall” I mean tall in comparison to their siblings not in comparison to the adult islanders. I think at best the taller of the bunch reach a bit above their parents waists. They’re still babies to me 🤏🏻
🎩 Dapper - T A L L for his age. I like to think this is because of the hc that bad, being a demon, is intimidatingly tall but is able to change how tall he appears like in front of the eggs for example as to not scare them. Also the hc that the eggs take on physical attributes of their parents so I like to think dapper has taken on bad’s height
🥀 Tallulah - This may be controversial to some people but she’s a Tall Girlie™️ to me. She was VERY small when Wilbur found her in the attic due to being malnourished. However, when she began being cared for properly, eating and sleeping correctly she began to grow pretty fast! Also spending all of her first couple of days out of the attic around Wilbur and becoming quickly attached to him she took on a lot of his attributes, noticeably his height
🐼 Leonarda - Kinda on the tall side but is pretty much the expected height for her age. Had a growth spurt earlier than most of her siblings so was the tallest for a while but when her first growth spurt ended her siblings’ began and now she’s happily average height wise which she doesn’t mind because she likes being small enough to be her pa’s (ONLY) baby but also she likes being tall enough that the younger ones remember that she is older and was here first!
⚙️ Ramon - Baby boy made in heaven by god himself has always been a little shorty among the original eggs. He’s never minded and still doesn’t. Fit assures him that he’s still got plenty of time to grow! Which is true! they’re all still young but he’s not stressed about it either way. Being smaller means he can sneak into places others can’t to have a snoop around and get into the smaller areas of his machines and projects
🐥 Chayanne - WAS the tallest of the original eggs and Tallulah, Richas and Pomme when they showed up but eventually his siblings hit growth spurts faster than he did. He’s not super upset about it and still feels like he needs to and is still able to fulfil his role of big brother even if he is smaller than them now. Apart from Richas who he is still taller than and he will absolutely happily point it out to him every opportunity he can
🍎 Pomme - Small but mighty! Pomme hasn’t really had any noticeable growth spurts yet. She’s petite but boy can she wield ANY weapon with confidence no matter how big or heavy. She puts on the front that she doesn’t like being on the smaller end of the scale compared to her siblings but truthfully she kinda likes that her parents can pick her up and hold her like they were able to when they first found her. When times were simpler and she didn’t have to constantly be paranoid and anticipating the next bad thing that’s going to happen and carry the weight of the world on her little shoulders and feeling like she has to protect everyone she loves. So yeah she’s short but she doesn’t really mind at all
🐮 Richas - Wants to be tall SO bad but the poor little eggy just isn’t. Shortest of all his older siblings and absolutely furious about it. If anyone brings up the fact that he’s short he WILL throw a tantrum about it and will probably kick you in the shin but that’s what you get for saying he’s small when he so clearly isn’t!!! (he is)
~ The New Babies ~
💎 Sunny - Small lil baby compared to the older eggs but taller than both of the newer eggs. They just give me the energy of being tall for their age but not by a lot ya know just like a bit above average for her age bracket
🥞 Em - Tiny baby, little baby with pancakes on her head. So small but will slap you upside the head with her frying pan so don’t be deceived by her littleness. She’s hoping she’ll grow a bit soon because she’s tired of having to ask her mum’s to pick her up to reach hard to reach places in her room whilst decorating
🍿 Pepito - Just the absolutely tiniest baby. Could fit in the palm of my hand, the tip of my finger even. No Pepito has ever been as small as this Pepito
#qsmp#qsmp eggs#q!dapper#q!tallulah#q!leonarda#q!ramon#q!pomme#q!chayanne#q!richarlyson#q!sunny#q!empanada#q!pepito#qsmp rambling
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THE GF NING DRABBLE WAS SOOOO CUTEEEEE !! okay okay this is slightly irrelevant but what about dating k 🥺 i think he'd be the sweetest everrrrr :( - hype boy anon
a/n: oh don't worry anon i'll talk about my husband (real) all day any day <33
word count: 889 words
genres: fluff + nsfw content
so koga yudai is a THE pretty princess of the century
like i hate to break it to you
but he is the princess of the relationship
since he's usually the oldest/one of the oldest members of a team wherever he goes, he likes being doted on
he likes being the center of your universe
he likes when you have heart eyes for him, when you back hug him after a long day, when you declare your love for him, etc.
HOWEVER
it is simply in his nature to be a loverboy he can't help it
so as much as he loves princess treatment, he naturally takes care of you anyway in more subtle ways
like if you're the one who's initiating pda or hugging him when you guys are around people, he'll shy away a little more
but in confined spaces, he literally clings to you and WILL NOT let go
he's a closeted princess <3
but because of this, no one believes you when you say that he's clingier than you
because he loves when you fawn over him
but the second you guys get home, he's all over you
he really releases all of his babygirlism™️ when it's just the two of you (he can't be losing all of his carefully accumulated street cred that easily)
the KING of back hugs whenever he can
you could be just standing in any situation and suddenly, you're wrapped in koga yudai
genuinely any situation he can have his hands on you (in private), his hands will be there
as much as he does it because he loves you and he thinks you're the sexiest being to grace the earth
it's also because he can't make you his priority number 1 and the guilt eats him up
k's been working for his dreams for SO long and now that they're slowly finally coming to life, he always gives them priority
so last minute cancellations or having to plan time together weeks in advance is smth that you'd have to just be ok with
he also always encourages you to pursue your dreams tho
in his rare time off, he spends it with you and will literally bend over backwards to help his s/o continue to grow in whatever field they want to
you want to become a doctor? he will quiz you about whatever subject you have a test in text week. you want to become an engineer? he's sitting with you and providing massages as you try and figure out the question. you want to be a teacher? he patiently sits with you as you practice your lesson plans.
knows that he has a s/o that's very patient and puts up with a lot more from him (namely, his dramatics) than anyone else so spoils you rotten
of course in physical touch and sharing your passion for whatever you're interested in, but also gifts
he will buy anything and everything that reminds him of you in the slightest (anything pretty)
it's his way of coping when he spends a long time away from you
[NSFW CONTENT BELOW]
his other way of coping is phone sex 😭
k is a very visual person so he really needs to see you to get off
and i mean that literally
once you guys have sex for the first time (which would be so sweet because this boy just loves you so so much)
he genuinely cannot get off without you
needs you in some way, shape, or form to cum and while some people think it's weird, you think it's peak romance <3
is a switch but i think more dom leaning
he's more used to having more control, experience, power, etc. so he slips into the role pretty easily
he enjoys seeing you all drooly and fucked out for him so it works out
has an INCREDIBLE level of stamina
i mean it so literally that when you guys fuck after a long time of not seeing each other, it's all day and all night
like calling off of work the next day and everything
doesn't really like hurting you with words or pain
but he does like seeing you overwhelmed with pleasure
top 10 dick game out of everyone in kpop
but to get there, he will make you cum at least 2 times before he even sticks his dick inside
big dick energy
probably has to make you cum at least 2 times so that you're wet enough to fit him inside of you
will overwhelm you with pleasure whether you're the sub or dom tho
he can't help it :(
when he's subbing, he's like an overexcited puppy
and he can't help but fucking into you even after you tell him to stop
he just finds you so so so attractive and can't believe that you like him of all people
doesn't believe you in aftercare when you tell it was good
or that you're so happy you're with him in general
will just smile and clean you up gently in the shower
he only believes you truly love him when you're cuddled up next to him and even when you're dead asleep, you smile when you smell his perfume
after a long day at work
he's so sweet :( omg i want him so bad :(
#jnnul#k x reader#k smut#&team x reader#andteam x reader#k fluff#andteam fluff#&team smut#andteam smut#koga yudai#k#koga yudai x reader#andteam imagines#&team imagines#&team k
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Live from New York…
Summary: a meet cute for everyone’s favorite rockstar!eddie and head SNL writer/weekend update anchor gf
WC: 4204 🫠 (my hand slipped)
Pairing: rockstar!eddie x screenwriter!gf
Warning/Themes: work related stress, smitten Eddie, hectic SNL schedule built around cocaine, meddling actor!steve harrington, encounters in close quarters, Eddie wearing Le Labo Santal 33– which should be a warning all its own, my usual brand of filth™️
A/N: we’ve had our meet cute with actor!steve, now it’s Eddie’s turn!
Series masterlist | playlist | currently spinning:
At Studio 8H, you always hit the ground running on Mondays. Hopefully, you’d lazed away or slept off the hangover from the after-party on Sunday, but sometimes you weren’t so lucky.
Today was one of those days.
A subway ride from hell, you were pretty sure your bodega guy was mad at you (again), and the inevitable spins and mouth sweats which could only mean—
“Hey killer!” Pete greets, towing the week’s host and musical guest behind him.
And because this situation could only get worse, you hold up a solitary finger and duck into a nearby dressing room to puke and rally.
“Fuckin’ Mondays, am I right?”
A rich voice greets you as you make your entrance back into the hallway, someone wearing a panoply of rings shoves a cold water bottle in your hand while you push your sunglasses up the bridge of your nose.
“Y’alright there, boss?”
A nod as you guzzle some water.
“Just peachy, Davidson.” You heave a sigh, grimacing as you make eye contact with the host, Steve Harrington, and one fifth of the musical guest in the form of Eddie Munson. “Sorry for the uh—" you gesture vaguely to the dressing room.
“No worries,” Steve says with a smile, “We’ve all been there.”
Eddie, for his part, snorts a laugh.
“Charmed,” you chirp, readjusting your canvas tote on your shoulder and resuming your walk down the hall.
“Pitch meeting in 5!”
_
The Monday meeting was always a wash. Pitches that were half-formed or outright veto’d by Lorne or the host, and Pete giving the same pitch for the fourth month running that no one bit at.
Typical.
Steve was affable enough, charming in the way only an actor could be, easy to laugh and joke. Eddie Munson, however, was all long-limbed ease and looked at you in a way that was unnerving.
No matter. You didn’t have the time to contemplate why the frontman of Corroded Coffin irked you, not when the cast members were especially needy for your attention and the writers retreated to the conference room.
“Chloe,” you huff as the small blonde trails after you, mouth going a mile a minute about a new impression she’d perfected.
You stopped short at your office door, causing Chloe to bump into you. With a slow turn, you try to smile in a well-meaning way, sunglasses sliding down your nose again.
“Can this wait until later?” Your hand twists the handle, allowing you to slip inside the room and escape the sad fall of her face. “I promise you’ll have my undivided attention this afternoon, okay?”
That seems to perk her back up. She gives you a smile and salute before trotting off back to her dressing room.
You sigh and slide back against the closed door, eyes slipping shut for the briefest of moments. Not open long enough to clock a mop of brown curls lazing on your couch.
“Exhausting being on top, isn’t it?”
Your eyes open only to land on Eddie Munson, laid out on your couch as if he owns the place.
“How did you get in here?”
You cross to the desk, heaving your tote onto it and peel the glasses from your face. Falling into your chair, you await his reply and open up your laptop.
Rooting around in your tote for your notes, you notice a coffee cup and danish at his side.
“Is that my cherry danish and cold brew?”
“Hmm?” He turns toward the sound of your voice. “Oh, this? An intern dropped it off.”
Eyeing the bite taken out of the danish, you sigh. “And you just assumed it was for you?”
“It’s not?”
“Unless Corroded’s rider has something about cherry danishes on it—“
“I just thought since your little performance this morning, you wouldn’t be in the mood.”
He sits up with a stretch, arms rising above his head, a sliver of skin visible above the band of his boxer-briefs.
Calvin’s, of fucking course.
You repress the need to roll your eyes. “How kind,” you say instead, flipping through your notes and typing a few ideas down.
“I thought so.” Eddie stands up, depositing the danish and coffee on your desk. “I’m more of a bagel and lox guy myself.”
“I’ll alert the media.”
He smiles slow, which is more attractive than you’d bargained for, annoyingly enough. His teeth are perfect against the plush pink of his lips, and he’s close enough, leaning against your desk, that you can smell the faint scent of his cologne— wood, leather, and violet?— cut through with a faint aroma of tobacco.
“I only have your best interests at heart, sugar.”
_
By Thursday, things started to even out. Some solid pitches turned into sketches, bumpers filmed and canned, and one only one sex dream about Eddie Munson.
You’d take what you could get.
It was basically inevitable, that fucker has been annoying you all week— popping into your office uninvited, sending the interns out for inane tasks just to get you alone, and, the real kicker, sending Harrington in as reinforcements.
“He’s not a bad guy,” Steve says, taking another bite of his lunch— subs from the Teamsters, your favorite day of the week.
“Munson?”
“Yeah,” he laughs, having made out your garbled phrase. “Ed just comes on strong, but he’s harmless.”
You roughly swallow and take a sip form your drink. “Whaddya mean?”
Steve pauses, sandwich halfway to his mouth. “Oh, uh,” he shrugs, “He likes you. Was that not obvious?”
You stare at him blankly.
Eddie Munson, attracted to you?
Yeah, when hell freezes over.
“He’s just razzing me,” you say, more to yourself than Steve.
He drops his sub on the wax paper and wipes his mouth with a napkin.
“That’s what you think?!”
“Well—" you sputter, indignantly. “If that’s how he shows his interest…”
Steve laughs, a bright and delightful thing. If only it wasn’t at your expense.
“Oh my god,” he wheezes. “Robin’ll get a kick outta this— holy shit.”
He pulls out his phone and sends off a text. The next thing you know, his assistant is barreling through your office door.
“You’re shitting me,” is what she says, eyes cutting from him to you. Communicating in some secret language of eye contact and gestures that was wholly beyond you.
That lunch was the last semblance of peace you’d had for the week before Eddie Munson began wooing you with increased vigor.
_
By Saturday, you’d had just about enough of his nonsense. More flowers than you knew what to do with, mini fridge in your office stocked with all your favorites, the writers actually doing their jobs for once— which was honestly just creepy, but you’d allow it.
“What did he do?”
It was the final read-through before the dress rehearsal later that evening. The writer’s room was packed, and no one had tried to kill anyone else yet.
Truly bizarre.
“What did who do?”
“Cut the shit,” You grouse back. “Munson, what did he do, threaten you idiots? Promise backstage passes— what?”
A hang-dog new hire sighed. “Said he’d have our guts for garters if we fucked up your week.”
“Yeah,” someone else chorused. “Said we’d wish all those Satanic rumors were true once he was done with us.”
And, as a result, no one had tried to steal your Emmy this week, you occasionally went home at a decent-ish hour, and no one had unnecessarily barricaded themselves in their dressing room.
Huh.
Maybe Harrington had a point.
Eddie Munson attracted to you? It’s more likely than you think!
The thought eluded you through the dress rehearsal and show itself, but reared its ugly head at the after-party.
A successful show, a compliment from Lorne, and several drinks had you feeling warm and buzzy. Harrington had wrangled you up on a table when “Teenage Dirtbag” came on, assured you it would be fine dancing on tabletops in high-heeled boots.
All was well and good until someone spilled a drink on said table and nearly sent you toppling to the floor.
Strong arms gripped your waist, settling you against a broad shoulder in a fireman’s carry.
“The fuck was that?!” crowed up at Steve, the music far too loud for you to make out his response, before you’re carried from the dance floor to the coat check room and placed back on your feet.
Right side up, Eddie looks flushed and concerned, checking your face and body for any signs of injury.
“You okay?”
Voice softer than you’re used to, not the gruff exterior or persona he plays into for the public. And, it’s nice. You’re just buzzed enough not to be horrified at the realization.
You laugh and press a finger into his heaving chest, “You like me, dontcha?”
Eddie laughs, dodging your gaze as his chin tucks into his chest. “Honestly?” He says after a beat, “You scare the shit outta me.”
“What,” you pout, “Little old me?”
Your finger idly traces nonsensical shapes against the black cotton of his shirt. He takes a breath, watching the trajectory of your hand.
“Not in a bad way,” he allows, eyes finally dragging back to you. All warm umber and hints of whisky. His hand touches yours, bringing an end to your wandering fingers.
Eddie swallows audibly and cocks his head to the side. “You’re just so…”
“Intense?”
There’s that slow smile again. He takes a step closer to you, hesitant as if he’s expecting you to push him away.
You don’t.
A shake of his head that frees a few strands from the low bun he’d dawned at curtain call. You brush your fingers against the soft curls and scruff of his jaw.
Eddie takes in a sharp breath, eyes closing minutely as his forehead rests against yours.
“You,” he breathes, voice low, “Are going to ruin me.”
Not a threat, but a promise.
A smile tugs at your lips. “Awfully presumptuous of you, Munson.”
“Call it a hunch, sweetheart.”
You close the distance between you with your lips. They slot into his with ease, your hand tangling itself into the curls at the nape of his neck.
He groans, something low from the cage in his chest and steps between your legs as your eyes fall shut. Your back hits the wall, his hand cradling your head, thumb rubbing idly along your scalp.
Eddie smells divine, and you’re not sure whether it’s the drinks or your own hormones that are to blame. But he tastes even better, the burn of whisky a comfort as his tongue sweeps across your bottom lip.
You open beneath him like a night-blooming flower, lips, and legs parting with ease. A wet click when you part, allowing you to take a shaky breath in. He moves along your jaw, soft lips sponging kisses there before lighting upon your neck.
“Fucking hell,” you groan, head rolling back against the wall behind you, earning a low laugh from him.
Everything feels amazing, your skin is buzzing at his attention, hands desperate to grab hold and never let go.
As his hips cant into your own, you can feel the hot, hard line of him. Your eyes flying open at the sensation and the thought that you may very well die getting dicked down by Eddie Munson in a coatroom.
But oh, what a way to go.
He’s on you again, lips and tongue eager for entry, before you can say anything stupid. Your mouth opens with a stuttered breath as Eddie slowly grinds against you.
He’s saying something, praises falling from his lips but you can’t possibly reply. Too wound up from arousal to be any sort of conversationalist. The pressure against your clothed heat is just right, and you’d like nothing more to get his pants off and ride Eddie to kingdom come.
That is until Steve Harrington barrels through the door.
“Oh shit,” he says, stifling a laugh. “My bad.”
He’s in and out in two seconds, but the mood is broken.
Eddie’s head rests against your shoulder while he catches his breath. You can feel the heat of his flush against your neck.
“So,” he begins, voice a low rasp. “I guess—"
“Your hotel is closer.”
He perks up at that, head rising from your shoulder with a quirked brow.
“Essex House, right?”
Eddie nods, picking up what you’re putting down. He scrambles for his phone, texting something before grabbing you by the hand and leading you out of the club and into the brisk New York night.
_
Falling back against the plush comforter, you drag Eddie down with you. Teeth clicking against each other in the effort. He huffs a laugh into your mouth, pushing you back against the pillows on the bed.
“You’re a pretty good kisser,” you say, propping up on your elbows.
“I may have heard that once or twice,” he says, tugging his shirt up and his head before tossing it elsewhere.
You make quick work of his jeans, while he occupies himself with mapping the geography of your body with his lips. He nips at your hip, earning a squeak of surprise from you as his arms cage you in.
His hair, now loose from the torment of your hands, tickles as it drags along your exposed skin. Eddie popping open the buttons of your blouse torturously slow.
Your lips claim his once more as his finger skims against the soft curve of your breast. You shudder at the sensation, unable to focus on anything except him.
Half-lidded eyes gaze down at you, a smirk tugging at his lips. With a roll of your eyes, you wiggle out of your shirt and pop the button of your trousers.
He’s quick to follow, fingers pulling at the fly and tugging the offending fabric from your legs.
The second the damp lace of your thong makes an appearance, Eddie groans loudly— head falling against your hip.
“Oh, my god.”
Too pent up to feel bashful, you tangle your fingers in his hair and give it a tug. Another groan, lower and deeper than the last.
“So pretty,” he breathes against your heat causing you to shiver.
His fingers hook into the fabric and pull them down the plush of your thighs, lips skating across the sensitive skin as he goes. Eddie is back on you before you can sit up to take off your bra; tugging you up to settle on his lap while reaching around to expertly unhook the lacy garment.
Distracting you with a kiss, it takes you a minute to realize that Eddie has apparently been struck stupid at the sight of you bare before him. His eyes rove over what feels like every inch of your body, as if he could never get enough.
“Hey,” you prompt with a roll of your hips. It’s delicious and delightful, sending sparks straight to your core. A soft sigh before you continue, “How do you want me?”
That seems to wake him back up. Eddie shakes himself alive and says with a bite to your lips, “As many times as I can have you, sweetheart.”
He lays you gently back down and grabs a condom from the bedside table. Before you can offer your assistance, however, he’s back between your legs with a singular focus: making you come. Hard and frequent.
By the time you reach your peak for the second time, he’s three knuckles deep and two fingers in. Your babbling incoherently while he smirks up at you, occasional coos of “Doin so well f’me” and “You can take another, right sugar?”
You nod, impatient for your next orgasm. Who would’ve thought that Eddie Munson could turn you into a needy brat without even seeing his dick?
Certainly not you.
“Eddie,” a broken pathetic whine from you. He’s worked in a third finger, impossibly, and you’re about to explode.
Pulling his lips from you clit, he glances up, lips and chin wet with your slick. “Yeah?”
The lighting in the room is low and warm, only enhancing his features, eyes blown dark with lust and lips ruddied and swollen from licking and kissing.
Another whine as you make grabby hands at him, “Wanna come on your cock.”
He chuckles lowly, sponging a kiss at your hip. “That so?”
You nod dumbly and wet your lips.
He rubs along your g-spot and your eyes roll back into your skull.
“Hmm,” he hums, “Why don’t you come on my fingers again and then you can make a mess on my cock?”
Not the answer you wanted to hear, but you’re too far gone to care. A petulant pout on your lips, but before you can make your retort, Eddie does that magical thing with his fingers again making you keen as you come.
Your vision whites out briefly, walls shuddering at his ministrations wetly.
“There’s a good girl,” he says, voice silky and low. “Knew you could do it.”
Damp fingers grasp your chin before prodding at your lips. You open your mouth to suck at them, tongue grazing against the cool silver of his rings as he watches.
Faintly, you hear the tearing of the condom wrapper as he extricated his hand from your mouth. Calvin’s long gone now, Eddie fists his cock to roll the condom down his shaft. And you can’t seem to pick your jaw up from the floor.
He looks almost nervous, brows furrowed and biting his lip. You can see why— he’s got the biggest and prettiest dick you’d ever seen. Cockhead flushed a rosy pink as he strokes himself, and you're not the best at spatial awareness but there are definitely several inches of him to reckon with.
“Hey,” you say with a swallow, mouth having filled with saliva at the sight of him. A jerk of your head, “C’mere, honey.”
With a smile, he returns to you. Kisses laved to your chest, neck, and finally lips while he situates himself against your petaled heat. Bumping against your abused clit, you sink back into the pillows with a moan.
Hands loosely cradling his collar and legs wound high against his back, you pull Eddie down for a slow kiss as your rock up against his shaft. He licks messily into your mouth as one of your hands snakes down to guide him inside.
He shudders at the sensation and the visual of your hand on his dick, small and dainty in comparison. “Fuckin’ hell.”
You hum contentedly. “You ain’t seen nothin' yet,” and drive the message home with a buck of your hips. His cockhead slips in, stretching you slightly but not unpleasantly.
He pauses, not wanting to hurt you or go too quickly just for it to happen again— too big, can’t fit. Surprisingly, you shimmy working him further into your cunt, inch by inch, until he’s buried to the hilt.
Eddie thinks he’s going to die like this— bottoming out in the girl of his dreams, all before he can blow his load or get you off like he wants to.
The stretch is good— hitting depths you didn’t realize were possible until now. Making your own efforts with the aid of your fingers and toys appear pathetic. You could vibrate out if you skin at the sensation— keyed up and pulled taught before he’s even had the chance to move yet.
You clench at the thought, causing Eddie to pant and moan against your neck. His left hand taps at your right leg.
“Can you raise that up, just a little?”
You acquiesce, and he thrusts experimentally. The angle changes everything, causing your blood to thrum and punching the breath from your lungs. Right leg wrapped around his waist while the other rests lazily against his hips.
Eddie kisses you quick, tongue eager as he works you open. You can hear the smack of his skin against yours, both damp with the exertion, accompanied by a sound and sensation wholly unfamiliar to you.
There’s a wet squelch when he bottoms out every other thrust or so, and the coil in your gut gets pulled tighter and tighter. Heat and pressure are building in your cunt and radiating outwards.
You jolt upwards, breasts brushing against his chest, nipples hardening in the cool air. “Eddie I’m—" your voice catches in your throat, a tear falling from your eyes and cascading down your cheek.
Before he can see your unintended emotional display, you bury your face into the curve of his neck with a gasp. His hips stutter as you draw closer, neck growing damp with your tears.
“Shit. Did I—"
You quiet his concerns with a shake of your head, “No baby, I’m good. Keep going.” And with a languid roll of your hips, you seal the deal.
Eddie’s thrusts slow, the angle forcing his pelvis to tilt and drag exquisitely against your clit. Your head drops back against the pillows. He licks his lips and watches your mouth fall open with interest. He loves the way your eyes can’t seem to focus, the way your tongue lies heavy in your mouth, the way you try to hide from your pleasure, but he knows you’re excited.
Your next orgasm crashes upon you like a tidal wave, walls fluttering like the wings of a frantic hummingbird. You nearly scream from the pleasure of it all, mingled with a pinch of pain as a gushing soak drenches the both of you.
Your body jerks forward, pinned by Eddie’s hips and the cage of his arms holding you close. You can feel him moving inside you in long strokes before he stills to let you ride it out.
“That’s never happened before,” you slur out.
“Yeah?” He smirks, resuming his thrusts, pace nearly brutal now— diving into you so fast and hard that your eyes well up with tears. It doesn’t feel like you’ll reach the peak again, feels like you’ve been on the cusp since the coat room.
Your brain is fried and completely blissed out— fucked stupid by a rockstar you'd known for a week. You can only gasp in clipped short breaths as the air is continuously punched from your lungs.
Eddie bites his lip, eyes fixed on the way his cock spreads your cunt. The way your pussy is glistening and cherry red from his ministrations.
“Wish you could see yourself,” he groans out. “Such a good girl, takin’ all of me.”
Eddie could be talking gibberish and you would still nod along, falling apart as you stutter and plead, begging for him. I want it. I want it. Iwantitiwantitineedit. I need you.
A few more strokes and Eddie comes hard, thick ropes of come released into the condom, shuddering against the clenching of your walls— tight and wet and hot. Your name falls from his lips in a broken moan causing you to break open, crying out pitifully and throwing your head back against the pillows.
And, god damn, he’s just so pretty. All pink lips and pupils blown wide, chest heaving with desperate breaths before he collapses on top of you.
You feel positively ruined for other men. It’s unbelievable, the way he’s seared his touch into your body and brain. And yeah, if you had a soul or whatever, probably that too.
It may not be the most orgasms you’d ever had, but it’s damn near close and certainly the most intense yet. Your body trembles against Eddie’s torso, while he sucks on your neck, murmuring praises into your ear. Calls you sweetheart, baby, good fucking girl. Keeps himself inside, nestled comfortably deep.
You’re likely to faint if he doesn’t stop— intense whispers, slow movements, and rubbing sweetly against your walls. Eddie drags another orgasm out of you, miraculously so, almost letting you forget how torn open he’s made you feel. Your toes curl and go limp again for what feels like the umpteenth time, plaint against him as you catch your breath.
He lands a soft, barely-there kiss against the lobe of your ear and wipes the sweat from your neck and brow away.
“You okay?” He asks in a whisper, sending chills down your spine. “You got a little—"
“Overstimulated, yeah,” you answer with a laugh. Your arms drape around his collar lazily. “I’m good,” you say with a smile, “Never better.”
“Yeah?” Eddie’s smile is a bright bashful thing. He ducks his head, like he can’t believe you’re real, and bites his lip.
“Gonna be pretty useless for the next couple of hours though.”
He glances back up at you. “Really?”
“Totally.” Your fingers card into his hair, working against his scalp. “This guy fucked me stupid and now I can’t feel my legs so.”
He laughs, the vibrations reverberating against your ribs before rolling off of you to discard the condom. His hand finds yours again in the near-dark, cool metal against the damp of your palm.
You lay beneath the fluffy duvet, facing Eddie. Your legs were entwined with his and he has a big, stupid grin on his face. You were sure your smile matched his own.
A phone trills into the still of the room, Eddie groans in frustration and grapples with finding it on the nightstand. He answers it with a huff of annoyance as Steve Harrington's voice cascades through the speaker.
“So…” he sings, the street noise of the city serving as background, “You guys fuckin’ or what?”
_
#modern!rockstar!eddie#rockstar!eddie x reader#eddie munson fan fiction#eddie munson smut#stranger things fan fiction#rockstar!eddie x you#rockstar!eddie munson#rockstar!eddie smut#modern!au#Spotify
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FINALLY got around to doing a slight redesign for wren and figuring out how i wanna draw her SO HERE SHE IS !!!
posted some close ups way under the cut bc i didn't realize how small my handwriting is IM SORRY
if u don't know her yet here's my stardew valley expanded based farmer oc her name is wren <3 she's a half witch who isn't very good at magic, but is more capable than people tend to think.
EDIT: ok i still get likes on this as of the day i’m editing this post so i thought i’d mention that this is outdated asfk. if ur at all interested in seeing wren’s new intro page u can find it here although it’s not as detailed as this one is
the only person who consistently believes in her and has never doubted her is her father, alejandro, who is an experienced adventurer based in pelican town. he is well known in various guilds (specifically the castle village guild) for not only his physical strength and mastery of the sword, but his optimism and abilities as a natural born leader. since he's a member of the guild in pelican town, he'd often bring wren to town since she was a little girl all the way to the present day.
on the other side, wren's mother, dolores, is much more critical of her and has had high expectations of her since childhood. she expects wren to practice her magic by the book and strive for perfection. protective and often overbearing, dolores wants wren to remain in their small town without consideration for her daughter's desires. the two of them bond over their love of fashion and dolores often spends a lot of time making clothing and accessories for wren to wear by hand.
as much as i want to make this an infodump about her Lore, i don't wanna give away too much bc i wanna do vague art about it first !!! she has 2 very good reasons for running away to the farm and is quickly overwhelmed as she tries to adjust to her new life and make money. she isn't gonna quit though because she doesn't wanna have to do the Walk Of Shame back home and admit to anyone that she couldn't do it. thankfully some of the townspeople (marnie, marlon, pierre, gus, linus) are familiar with her and help her out in her first few weeks.
i don't have a clue what isaac's backstory will be like but the idea that he and wren are childhood enemies is drilled into my brain LMAO. they haven't set aside that childhood beef because when they reunite as adults they're still snarky and hostile towards each other. isaac thinks she's a spoiled nepo baby who has only gotten accepted into the pelican town guild + is being considered for castle village entry because her dad is so cherished in the scene and he thinks they can't outright say no to her. he also believes that she's not cut out for Adventurer Life™️ and that she should just stick to farming and failing at magic or whatever it is she does. wren can also be very reckless (she gets it from alejandro) which isaac believes can possibly put not only herself but other people in danger (Valid Point). wren is stubborn though and is sick of people doubting her. isaac has never been particularly nice to her in the first place so why should she listen to him fr !!! however things happen and they eventually smooch so ?!?!?? enemies to lovers.
idk what Else to add pls do ask questions if u want,, i'll definitely be doing more art of her soon
CLOSE UPS !!! not very detailed thoughts just some notes hopefully u can read it
#stardew valley#stardew valley expanded#sdv oc#sdv farmer#stardew valley farmer#stardew valley oc#farmer wren#my art 𓈒˚⭒#this took me longer than expected#drawing has been tough the past 2 days bc i've been in a lot of pain and on a lot of medication#but finally got it done yay
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Delicate, Chapter One: Mary
next chapter >
ok so. here it is. i’m so fucking terrified hahahaha
i’d like to specify that 1) this is an experiment 2) i’m not 100% sure where i’m going w it and i don’t even know what title to put but i’ll think about it (eventually) 3) i’ll post it here on tumblr first and *maybe* one day i’ll publish it on ao3. for now, however, i want this to stay here where i can change/delete whenever i want :)
and, 4) english isn’t my first language, so bear with me. Enjoy!
CW: drinking, mentions of drug abuse, mommy issues™️
It was very fucking hot.
Too fucking hot, in Narcissa’s opinion.
The windows of her car were rolled down, her sweaty forehead rested against the wheel, hair sticking to the melting plastic. There were many things to be annoyed at, really, but all Narcissa could think about were those suitcases in the back seats behind her, and the realisation she had run away from home.
“He followed in his brother’s footsteps, surely. Poor Walburga, she must be destroyed now that even her spare star has abandoned her.”
Regulus was only 18, and arguably Narcissa’s favourite cousin: he cared about their family’s reputation in the acting and music industry, just like her, and he was willing to do everything to become famous, for his name’s sake.
Oh, he had also been left behind and forgotten by an older sibling, which was another thing they had bonded over.
Narcissa thought that out of everyone in that deranged family, Regulus was the one she could really, fully understand.
Except maybe Narcissa didn’t know him that well after all, because he had left. As soon as he had legally become an adult, he had hopped off that derailing train that was the Black family, and had continued to pursue his acting career independently from his mother.
And Narcissa was still there.
24 years old, still following her parents’ orders like a puppet, her strings attached to her Father’s label. It had probably fucked her up a bit: it would’ve broken her Mother’s heart to know, but she had been running on drugs and alcohol for years now.
And drugs and alcohol were in her system while she was standing in her room, the news about Regulus still floating in her head.
She had been here before.
When Sirius had left.
When Andy-
She had thrown all the clothes she could fit into two suitcases, filled a couple of bags with few personal belongings (papers, essential equipment for singing) and she had gotten into her Mercedes, and started the engine.
But now the high had worn off, and she was slowly boiling to death in the cabin of her car, parked in front of a building she couldn’t even look at.
“If you ever change your mind, Narcissa, this is the address. My brother and I would be delighted to work with you.”
The Bones Records building was towering over her, glorious. Presumptuous, even, like Amelia Bones herself. Daring her to enter with a shine of its windows, a sparkle of her eyes.
In the end, she had stepped out of the car.
And Narcissa Black stepped into a new life.
~
Mary was pacing back and forth in the cold November air, an impossibly heavy usb drive in her pocket, trying to slow down her own heartbeat.
And, possibly, ring the doorbell of the mansion standing in front of her.
That day, Mary had taken a detour after work, her mind set on a plan. But right at the last step, she had discovered that the possibility of changing her future with a simple touch terrified her, and so she hesitated.
She had done scarier things in her past: babysitting her younger, reckless brothers, eating the suspicious meals her high school had to offer, doing her homework while the teacher was collecting it.
Pushing a button should sound like an incredibly simple task.
With herculean effort, she rang the doorbell.
No answer.
She rang again.
“Coming, coming!” chanted a slightly irritated woman, stomping towards the door.
Mary knew that voice, of course.
She’d listened to it for years.
Leaning against the doorframe, with an inquisitive look, was Narcissa Black.
However, with her long, blonde hair precariously pinned up, sporting old pyjamas and bags under her eyes, the singer was very different from how Mary was used to seeing her in magazines and interviews.
Wait, what time was it? It had gotten dark, how long had Mary been walking up and down the street like an idiot?
“Hello? Anything i can do for you?” asked Narcissa, with a raised brow.
“Uhm, yes, actually,” replied Mary, now intent on getting this whole conversation over with. “I’m Mary Macdonald. I’ve been your fan since your debut under the Black Studios-“
“Sorry, girl, but if you want an autograph, showing up at my door isn’t exactly the best way to get it.” interrupted Narcissa, now clearly annoyed by the whole situation.
But Mary had come prepared.
“It’s not an autograph i’m after, really. I wanted you to listen to these songs-“
“You’re brave, I’ll admit, knocking at my door in the middle of the night. But i’m no talent scout, so I suggest you take your songs, that i bet are very promising, and take them to someone that will know what to do with them. Maybe try contacting them a bit earlier.” sniffed Narcissa, already closing the door. Her movements were a bit slow, careful, like her hand could slip from the handle if she didn’t focus on it.
“Wait!” Mary stopped the door with her foot, fully catching Narcissa’s attention. She smelled of alcohol, but Mary guessed that famous people could afford getting wasted whenever they wanted, even on a random Tuesday night.
“Please. I want to become a singer, and I need you to listen to this. If you don’t like it, or think it’s not good enough, I won’t bother you, but i need someone to give me a chance. Please.” Mary pleaded, trying her best to convey her desperation through her eyes. Never once in her life had she ever begged for something, but God did she hate it. She was willing to make this sacrifice, for once.
Narcissa regarded her carefully, considering how big of a threat (or annoyance) the young woman in front of her could be. She sighed.
“Fine, come inside. And close the door.”
Mary followed the woman (who was muttering about how bravery, audacity and stupidity all go hand in hand) into her home. Honestly, she didn’t think she would’ve gotten this far with the plan, and when realized she was stepping into Narcissa Black’s residence, she tried to memorize every single detail.
The white walls were decorated with various paintings in different styles, and there were magazines everywhere, left open on the articles about members of the Black family: Bellatrix’s imminent marriage, Regulus’ Oscar nomination, Sirius’ new dog…
Mary wondered if, one day, her mother would be reading news about her from magazines, too. If she was ever going to swallow her pride, accepting that she had been wrong all along.
But first, she needed someone to get her into the Bones Studios.
She had heard Amelia and Edgar Bones weren’t afraid of working with new, young artists. They took risks in their investments, and Narcissa was a clear example of that: working with a fleeting, already successful singer and changing her whole image was a dangerous move, but it had made the label famous: the twins undoubtedly owed part of their success to Narcissa, and Mary hoped she could sneakily make her way under the singer’s wing and work her way up from there.
So. she had to get Narcissa’s approval.
“Ignore the mess, you chose a bad night to come knocking at my door.” said the woman, plopping herself onto a red velvet sofa and picking a half-full glass of wine from the round coffee table in front of her. She took a sip, opened her expensive laptop (one day Mary, one day), but then she gulped and started clicking the keys agitatedly, like she had seen something disturbing on the screen and desperately wanted to delete it.
Mary stood awkwardly in front of her, the usb drive in her hand and a mess in her head.
“So? Are you going to stand there and do nothing? Take seat, give me that drive, and have a glass of wine, honey, you look horrified.” prompted Narcissa, pointing to the couch and the bottle in front of her with her chin.
“Oh I…I don’t drink,” replied Mary, giving the other woman her drive and sitting down. The couch was surprisingly comfortable, the material soft. The whole house, although a bit messy and smelling of alcohol, felt expensive. One day, one day.
“Mh, I should’ve guessed,” smiled Narcissa, looking up from the screen for an instant.
“You should’ve seen your face when you came in! Nose scrunched like a child. Are you doing it for religious reasons?”
“Not really,” Mary watched Narcissa getting up and searching for something around her, inside a bag, under the table. It was a long story, and surely not one enjoyable enough to be a conversation starter, so she just kept quiet.
“Well, it’s not like you have to get blacked-out drunk every time you drink. I hope one day you’ll find it in yourself to enjoy some tasteful liquor again.” Narcissa replied, pulling out a set of headphones from the sofa’s pillows.
“Now, I’ll listen to your…15 songs?!” Narcissa gave her an incredulous look. “That’s a whole-ass album! Did you write it yourself?”
“I wrote the music, the lyrics, arranged everything together, and sang. But it’s just…something i’ve been working on as practice, since i couldn’t get into a conservatory. I ended up liking it, though”
For Mary, her lack of professional musical knowledge was a sore subject: she had tried to make up for it on her own, but most talent scouts lost interest in her after guessing her family’s financial situation, so she’d had to compensate her lack of money with an abundance of nerve.
And there she was. Sitting on Narcissa Black’s couch, waiting for her opinion on her work like a sinner’s soul on Judgement Day.
Mary, upon telling Narcissa (born rich and famous) about her self-studying, had expected disdain, but surprisingly, Narcissa was looking at her with something uncannily resembling respect.
Mary watched her wine-stained lips curl with fondness. “‘No one cares about artists unless they’re not penniless’, right?”
“You can say that, yeah”
“Then I’ll be the one to start. I’ll be back in…63 minutes. Don’t wander around the house. The bathroom is the first room on the right, next to the painting of the girl with her tits out.”
Mary nodded, but stayed on the couch. Her leg kept bouncing, her palms were sweaty, and Narcissa was looking right at her, which was really not helping. She couldn’t even let her mind drift somewhere more calming, since that pair of blue, wide-opened eyes were fixed on hers.
Just as Mary had started to worry the eye contact would last all 63 minutes, Narcissa inhaled sharply and conjoined her hands in front of her face, like a prayer, closing her eyes.
Were all artists this…strange?
Narcissa stayed like that for about 37 minutes, and now Mary suspected she had fallen asleep.
Mary went to the bathroom, appreciated the painting’s tits, came back. The scene hadn’t changed.
After a while, Narcissa lowered her headset, deep in thought, eyes still closed.
Then she got up swiftly, removed the drive from the computer, and led Mary to the door. “I’ll talk to Amelia. Give me your phone number and I’ll let you know in a few days. Can you send me a copy of the tracks? I want her to listen to your work.”
“…Just like this? You don’t have any…criticism, comments, questions, anything? I made you listen to my songs and-“
“Mary,” Narcissa interrupted, taking the girl’s face in her hands in an unexpected display of affection. “I like your style. You have an amazing voice, the songs are surprisingly good for a beginner. You lack a bit of technique and some aspects need to be refined, but it’s nothing a bit of practice can’t solve.” She patted her cheek. “Plus, you have the guts, and they’re always useful in the music industry. Let me talk to Amelia. I’ll get back to you.”
“I-Woah. Thank you. Woah. Okay, uhm, this is my number…” After Narcissa had typed and double-checked the digits (double-checked! Was she really going to call her back?), she gave her her email address, wished her goodnight, and Mary was left standing in the porch, still shocked.
It was happening. It was really, actually happening. Oh, Mary wanted to scream, to walk up and down the street like she had done just two hours before: she caught Narcissa Black’s attention! Her dreams had a chance of finally coming true, the life she had always wanted was getting closer and-
“Wait,” Narcissa’s head reappeared, temporarily knocking Mary out of her hysterical state. “Before you go…how did you find my address?”
“Y-You’re a famous singer. It wasn’t that hard.”
“Ugh. What a bother. Whatever, goodnight.”
~
Mary was lightly strumming her guitar, humming lyrics quietly on her bed, window open despite the cold. She loved those early-winter afternoons, when the sun sunk earlier and the air was crisp, the smell of rain a constant reminder of the clouds in the sky.
Narcissa hadn’t called her yet, but it had only been a couple of days, so Mary still held hope and spent most of her free time in her room practising and recording.
Then her mother entered her bedroom. She had just come back from work, still had the shoes and jacket on. Mary hadn’t noticed her at first, but she immediately stopped playing when she did, feeling guilty and then hating herself for it.
To be completely honest, Mary wasn’t sure her mum liked her.
She loved Mary, of course, but because she happened to be her mother. Not because she chose to. Affection born from blood, something a mother is expected to give.
“Mum, I didn’t hear you come in, do you need me to lay the table for dinner?” Mary asked, watching her mother sitting down on the bed in front of her.
She was eyeing her guitar, her notebook and her computer like she didn’t know what to do with them. What to do with Mary.
“No, no, it’s okay. Your brother can do it, he’s old enough now,” she answered with a weak smile, still not meeting Mary’s gaze. She knew the two of them looked quite similar: same dark skin, curly hair, the same dimples that appeared when they smiled. However, Mary also noticed her mother’s wrinkles, proof of a life spent worrying and worrying, the way her shoulders seemed to be carrying the weight of the world, the way she sighed instead of exhaling when she breathed.
“Are you playing something?”
“Yes, actually,” Mary knew this was an attempt. It wouldn’t get them anywhere, but she was thankful for it regardless. “Do you want to listen?”
“…it would be a waste of time, darling, you know I don’t really get these…things,” her mother replied, still smiling sadly with her hands on her lap.
One step forward, two steps back, always retreating. Mary didn’t know what was she expecting, really. Her mother never got it, and had never showed any interest in trying.
“Did you want to talk about something specific?” Mary asked, curtly.
Her mum stayed silent for a moment.
“…Let me read a verse or two, love,” she complied. Mary offered her the notebook, carefully watching her read her songs, her soul.
“Do you like them?”
Mary was met with unreadable dark eyes. And a sad smile. Mary was so tired of sad smiles.
Narcissa said they were good. She just wants you to give up.
She closed her stinging eyes, and felt the warmth of a calloused hand on her face.
“You’re a beautiful girl, Mary,”
“…So?”
“You could get a good job easily-“
“I do have a job” Mary glared at her mother, swatting her hand away.
“A part-time job-“ she replied, slightly frustrated.
“Did you want to talk about anything specific?” Mary could hear her voice break and feel a tear run down her cheek. Fuck.
The two just stared at each other.
Mary wished she didn’t have to choose between her mother’s approval and herself.
“It’s nothing, really. I’ll go make dinner.”
Another step back.
And Mary was alone in her room.
~
narcissa black here, i need you to come to my place asap.
if this isn’t mary macdonald, i was joking. this isn’t narcissa black, it was a prank.
Mary had just come back from her morning shift at the cafe (Madame Puddifoot, serving the best food!), when Narcissa texted her. She had almost tripped on the doorway.
this is mary macdonald
sorry, do you mind sending the address?
Narcissa replied shortly after.
…you funny bitch.
Mary was at Narcissa’s place in thirty minutes, and before she could even lift her hand, Narcissa had opened the door, leaning against it. She was dressed casually, hair down and eyes bright with trouble.
“Hello sweetie, thanks for coming,” Narcissa greeted, but she kept standing there, a bit awkwardly.
“…Hi, has something happened? Did Amelia call you?”
Narcissa’s eyes widened.
“Oh no, love, I would’ve told you if I had heard from her. But something did happen, yes, and I wanted to show you,” she said with a smile, moving towards the middle of the doorway. Mary jumped back in horror, but she managed to not scream: Narcissa had a fucking snake, with black and blue scales, wrapped around her forearm. And it looked terribly real and alive.
“Narcissa what the hell??”
But the woman was still smiling, delighted by Mary’s reaction and the creature slithering up her arm. “I bought a snake!”
“I can fucking see it! But why?”
“If you’re going to be so loud about it, it’s better if we go inside,” and Narcissa led Mary to the living room. Everything looked tidier than last time, even Narcissa herself seemed more put together, although she was playing with a potentially poisonous reptile while walking towards the red sofa.
“…You’d better put it in its tank, Narcissa,” Mary suggested sitting as far from her as possible. The other woman just looked at her in confusion.
“Tank?”
Mary blinked slowly. “Where do you keep it, Narcissa?”
“I don’t have a dedicated place for her yet, but I was thinking of keeping her in my room.” Narcissa answered, offering a finger to the dark snake.
“Didn’t they give you a tank at the pet shop? And why are you putting you fingers near her?” Mary was staring at Narcissa, appalled. How did this woman survive for so long?
“She’s not poisonous, she kills by strangling her preys,” Narcissa said like a proud mother, “And they did give me a tank, but I didn’t like it so I threw it away. I was thinking of letting her sleep next to me.”
“That’s-I’m-“ Mary stuttered, “God. We’re getting a tank, before she kills you in your sleep. Let’s go, I’ll drive.” She got up and took her car keys.
“Can I bring her with me? I don’t want her to feel lonely,” Narcissa explained as the snake made its way around her neck. Mary was progressively getting more and more afraid of Narcissa getting strangled under her very own eyes.
“Just…sit in the backseat and don’t get killed?”
“She would never. I’m her Ma,” Narcissa smiled grabbing a coat, a hat and sunglasses, probably to avoid being recognised in public. The downside of being a celebrity, Mary assumed, although her showy and very much alive necklace probably wasn’t of much help keeping a low profile.
When Mary had mustered up the courage to knock at Narcissa’s door, she hadn’t expected this: walking down the aisle of a pet store pushing a rusty cart, looking for a tank for Narcissa Black’s latest (and murderous) purchase.
She had been enthusiastic to find out she could decorate the tank, so she was looking for the rocks that would fit best with the rest of the furniture in her bedroom.
Because she wanted to keep the snake in her room, the freak.
“Just a question, Narcissa…How long have you had her?”
She turned around and checked her shiny watch. “About six hours. Why?”
“Was just wondering if you had actually slept with the thing. It sounds pretty dangerous.”
“Oh no, but we did take a nap together. I couldn’t find her when I woke up,” she turned back to the rocks. The black ones seemed to have piqued her interest.
“I still don’t know what to call her. Any suggestions?”
“Narcissa junior?” suggested Mary.
“That’s lazy. I want something…meaningful. Think about snakes. What do they do?”
Oh, so she was serious about it.
“I don’t know, they crawl around, lay eggs, eat rabbits…”
“Rabbits! I can work with that…White Rabbit?” Narcissa offered.
“It’s a bit long. Is it an Alice in Wonderland reference?” Mary answered.
“…Yeah, never-mind. What about Bunny?” Narcissa looked at Mary from above her heart-shaped sunglasses.
“You want to call your snake Bunny, because she eats rabbits.”
“Yes. It’s ironic, it’s cute, it’s perfect. Bunny.”
“Bunny it is, then.” Mary sighed with a soft smile, as Narcissa put the black rocks in the cart. “Why did you even buy a pet snake?”
“I have many reasons. But I won’t explain myself, and you’ll have to deal with it.”
“Fair. Why did you text me, though?” Mary asked. She was just a random fan, after all, and although she wasn’t complaining, she was a bit disoriented.
Narcissa simply shrugged. “Because Amelia would’ve ripped me to pieces, Edgar would’ve acted like a disappointed father, and I’ve listened to your songs, so we’re basically best friends now.”
“You see, it’s the last passage that I don’t get,” Mary replied while Narcissa put the rocks in the shopping cart. “Do you consider friends all the singers you listen to?”
Narcissa walked next to her as they were approaching the register. “Only the ones that make me feel like I know them. Mary, I don’t think you understand the power music holds.”
The cashier, a poor teenage girl, was too worried about the snake wrapped around Narcissa’s neck to question her suspicious outfit.
“Is-is that a real snake?”
“Yes, darling. Why are you surprised, we’re in a pet shop, after all,” Narcissa answered, lowering her sunglasses. The cashier’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Are-are you Narcissa Black?”
“Yes, sweetie. I’d like to pay for my little girl’s needs, please.”
“S-sure.”
Mary watched the girl, and wondered if her hands were trembling because of the reptile or Narcissa.
As I was saying, Mary,” the woman continued once they were out of the shop, marching towards the car.
“Music is powerful. One of the best things about being a songwriter is that you can reveal the world all the thoughts you keep in your mind, the memories you hold close, your regrets or hopes. I liked your songs, Mary, because when I listened to them I got to know you. Music is clearly very important to you, you’re a voice screaming to be heard, love.”
“Narcissa,” Mary called, voice a bit hoarse. She had to shut her up in some way or she’d start crying in the car park and then die of embarrassment.
“Mary,” She replied.
“Should Amelia refuse to sign a contract with me, I want you to know that I’m glad you gave me a chance. It’s more than anyone has ever done, so thank you.” Mary smiled, grateful.
Narcissa looked at her, layers and layers of emotions Mary couldn’t quite decipher in her eyes.
“It’s nothing, really,” she nodded towards the car, not too far from them. “Now get in, before you start crying in the middle of a car park.”
“No offense, but fuck you.” Mary replied pulling out the keys, while Narcissa laughed, Bunny resting around her shoulders.
~
come to my place
there’s a surprise for you
For the third time that week, Mary knocked at Narcissa’s door. She was getting used to the singer’s cryptic texts, and had learnt to expect the unexpected: she was now wondering if Narcissa had bought a snake for her, too, or if she had found some top-quality tree branches for Bunny’s tank and needed an opinion.
However, when Amelia Bones opened the front door, Mary was admittedly caught by surprise.
“Amelia Bones,” she offered her hand, straight to the point. Mary held it, but she was interrupted before she could even introduce herself.
“So here’s the Mary Macdonald I’ve heard so much about. Come inside, you have a contract to sign,” she lead her to Narcissa’s kitchen, like it was her own house. Narcissa was sitting on a tall seat and leaning on the marble counter, placid like a cat.
Amelia and Narcissa looked quite similar, next to each other. The blonde, straight hair, the attentive eyes, the relaxed demeanor of someone who doesn’t get fucked with.
Overall, really intimidating.
“A few days ago, I happened to receive an email by our dearest Narcissa, with 15 songs and just two words, ‘Mary Macdonald’” began Amelia, in a calm tone. “Of course, I’m used to Narcissa’s enigmatic shit, so I wasn’t at all surprised by her temporary loss of words,” the other woman smiled at that.
“What did surprise me, though, were the tracks. I really liked them, Mary. So, I called Narcissa to explain the situation to me.”
Mary just nodded: most of her attention was focused on trying to read Amelia, the way she talked, her movements, her expressions. The rest was consumed by stopping herself from fidgeting.
“You are a brave one, girl. I appreciate that in an artist,” Amelia’s smile dropped. “But I need more. I’m not asking for a musical genius, of course. I need the promise of a star, something we can work with to create a legend. The substance is there, but we need to shape it to make you survive the industry, and it will take some time. You following me?”
“Yes,” replied Mary, because it seemed like an obvious question that still required an explicit, confident answer. Amelia seemed to appreciate it.
“Then this is where Narcissa comes in. She’s offered to become your guide, and help you in this process.”
“I won’t try to change you, Mary,” Narcissa chimed in, “I would help you on the technical preparation and with getting used to this type of life, and once we’re sure you can stand on your feet, we’ll let you go. In this way, I’ll lift some weight off of Amelia’s shoulders,” she smiled, patting her friend’s back, “who will only have to work on the production of the album. After all, the Bones Studios are still relatively small, all in the hands of the Bones twins alone. Are you in? You’re still in time to chicken out.”
Narcissa’s smile was challenging.
Amelia’s was unreadable.
Maybe they weren’t that similar, after all.
“I don’t see why I would refuse,” Mary replied. “Where do I sign?”
Amelia took out the contract, Mary read every single word carefully (and missed the impressed glance that passed between the other two women), and then signed it.
“Welcome to the family, Macdonald. Got any questions?”
“Please, Amelia, you’re itching to get out of here. I can play the evil manager for tonight.” Narcissa intervened, with raised eyebrows.
“It’s work, private matters come second. Mary, do you have any doubts about the contract? Or questions?”
“Not really, everything was pretty clear, and now Narcissa is legally obliged to answer all of my questions, so…”
“You heard her!” laughed Narcissa, “Now go or you’ll be late to your date.”
Amelia grabbed her coat from a chair, heading towards the door but still talking business. “Narcissa will tell me when she considers you ready to work on your debut album.”
“Yeah we know! Hurry, your Hestia is waiting!” Narcissa mocked as Amelia, who was flipping her off, closed the door behind herself.
“Hello,” Narcissa greeted, once it was just the two of them. “We’re coworkers now.”
“It seems so, yeah. That was…fast.” Mary answered, still a bit shaken.
She had just signed a contract with a label.
A real label.
And Narcissa Black was going to teach her to become a proper singer.
The Narcissa Black.
Mary was euphoric.
“Listen, I know you don’t drink, but I think we deserve to celebrate. Do you want a sip?” Narcissa said, pulling out an expensive-looking wine bottle and two fancy glasses.
“No pressure. If you don’t drink, I won’t either.”
Mary considered the offer. She was ecstatic, and she had grown to trust Narcissa, so maybe a glass wouldn’t be so harmful.
“Okay.” she answered, aware she didn’t sound too sure.
“Okay?” Narcissa repeated.
“I’ll take a glass. It’s the beginning of a new era, Narcissa.” Mary assured, sounding more certain. She felt like she could fight God, she wasn’t letting a glass of wine scare her anymore.
“That’s what I like to hear, sweetie,” Narcissa smiled, filling the two glasses. “Oh, and you can call me Cissa. You’re my student now!”
“Having you as a teacher will truly be an experience.” Mary grinned, lifting the glass to her lips.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
When Mary left Narcissa’s house, she did so with a newfound hope, and the taste of wine strong but harmless on her lips.
shoutout to @prongsxsluv for being the first to hear abt this <3
@imintothemaraudersera @jpg-of-dorian-slay (i’ve always loved your user no joke)
#let me know if you want more parts!!#the povs will switch and the chapters will be shorter#but since it’s the first it’s almost all#mary#still anxious af#i’ll tag some ppl later#marauders#marauders era#nobleflower#marylily#mary macdonald#narcissa black#amelia bones#marauders era girls#there will be the boys too#at some point lmao#fic: delicate
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The Fellowship and their favorite Classic Frat Party Bangers™️
Frodo
No Hands by Waka Flocka Flame
This is pre-Ring Frodo, ofc
Y’all remember how he was dancing at Bilbo’s birthday? Yeah dude def likes to get down
I just feel like after he’s had a few drinks in him and this song comes on, he grabs Sam and loudly says “OMG ITS MY SOONNGGGG!”
Can sing the whole song with no breaks (just like me fr)
Sam
Everything by Pitbull
Sam actually doesn’t really like the music they play at parties. He thinks some of the lyrics are crass
HOWEVER
One time this song came on at a party that Rosie was at and she danced with him the entire song. He has not stopped thinking about it since
The next day he went straight to Merry (the Pitbull expert) and asked him what the song was called and then he immediately went and bought the song and listened to it everyday for the next two weeks
Now he requests it every time him and Frodo go out just in case Rosie is there
Pippin
Shots by Lil Jon
He is the Snooki of the Shire let’s be real here
Loves lil Jon. Thinks he’s a lyrical genius
He’s always up on the damn tables and the bar
“IF YOU AINT GETTIN DRUNK GET THE FUCK OUT THE CLUB” and Pippin took that personally
Spills his drinks on everyone. Gets into a verbal altercation bc of said spillage. Merry comes in to back him up. Now Frodo and Sam have to break up a fight
Merry
Hotel Room Service by Pitbull
Pitbulls no. 1 fan
Right up there on the tables with Pippin
Gets sooo hype for “WE AT THE HOTEL MOTEL HOLIDAY INN!”
Also spills his drinks but not as much
Has in fact been decked in the face for asking a girl if he could take her back to the hotel room for some *service*
Aragorn
Pepas by Farruko
This man has never gone to a party of his own accord. He has only gone just to make sure that Merry and Pippin don’t die
BUT once he’s got a few drinks in his system and this song comes on, he’s ready to let lose
I feel like he would love the Spanish songs (he can speak fluently I just know it)
Does his own lil dancy dance while Merry and Pippin cheer him on
Legolas records it for when he’s sober and they can all laugh about it
Legolas
Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira OR Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado
Oh he defff likes the “girlier” songs
Once he has enough in his system to get that lil tingle in his hands, bro is right in the middle of whatever dance circle formed around him
That man LOVES to flip his hair all over the place like he’s really got his hands in his hair feeling the music and everything
Learned all this from his father I just know that Thranduil made sure his son was properly educated
Gimli gives him shit for the entire night
Gimli
Get Low by Lil Jon
Oh bro definitely likes to get low
His drunk self gets SO HYPE when this song comes on
Climbs right up on the table with Merry and Pippin (falls off soon after)
The rest of the fellowship watches in absolute terror as he tears up the dance floor
Gandalf
Danza Kuduro by Don Omar
Will he dance? Who knows
But one thing for certain is that his heart is filled with so much joy watching the Hobbits go absolutely crazy for this song
He thinks it’s so fun and endearing watching them dancing and enjoying the night
It’s one of those simple things that he loves so much. Watching a group of friends enjoying each others company and celebrating their friendship with music and dancing
You know what he WILL dance let him get in the middle of that silly little circle
Boromir
DJ Got Us Fallin In Love by Usher
He may be daddy’s favorite, but being daddy’s favorite is stressful
At the end of the week, he just wants to cut lose and get drunk
And drunk he gets
He just likes to feel the musiiicccc
Has never gone home alone LMAO
#lord of the rings#incorrect lotr quotes#lotr shitpost#lotr fandom#lotr#frodo baggins#samwise gamgee#merry and pippin#pippin#merry brandybuck#pippin took#aragorn#legolas#gandalf#gimli#boromir#this is definitely canon
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