not to be problematic but I actually kind of like gen/amame

To your post on people finding the M9 campaign disappointing, as someone who hated the ending I agree with almost all your points. I really did want to end with having seen them all settle into their places. However your point of a continuation after fighting Lucian feeling cheap is the exact opposite of how I feel. To me, as it stands the ending feels cheap. Molly as a character was only around for 26 of 141 episodes. I fundamentally don’t believe that he had as strong of an affect on 1/2

the M9 as he did on the fandom. Yes he helped shape who they are as people at the beginning, but then they all (and the narrative) grew on from that and developed on their own, so for him to be forced back into the narrative as the big bad of the campaign felt cheap. If they would have continued on for a bit more and had time to show individual characters on their paths of the journey I would have been satisfied with the ending. 2/2

Well, anon, I simply don't agree.

Back when Molly first died, when I was very new to the show and only just dipping my toes into the tag, I vaguely remember coming across this post jokingly saying how bad it is when your group is made up of people only in it for themselves with only a chaotic asshole as your moral compass, and then that chaotic asshole dies (trying to save you, no less).

Molly’s death, and the Iron Shepherd's arc as a whole, fundamentally changed t9's outlook. Before then they did the occassional good deed when the opportunity presented itself (saving Kiri, helping that family in Hupperdook), but mainly they were mercenaries working for whoever paid them while secretly having their own agendas. There wasn't much real loyalty, and frequent inter-group clashes due to lack of trust (Fjord holding a sword to Caleb, Nott attempting to steal from the group, Molly charming people left and right and only divulging his past when put under zone of truth, Beau forcing the truth out of Caleb, I could go on). Molly was no exception; he was an asshole with a poor understanding of boundaries and no qualms about scamming people, but he still had a very clear moral sense that a lot of the group lacked. He doesn’t leave people behind. He leaves things better than he found them. He’s here to have a good time but not to cause harm.

The Iron Shepherd's was a turning point. It was when they stopped being colleagues and decided to risk their lives for each other, learned the very real consequences of said risks in losing Molly, and then decided to keep going anyway. We saw this very clearly in Caleb, who nearly bolted when the going got rough, but once he'd made the desicion to stay there was devotion. After this, most of what they do is for each other. They go to the ocean for Fjord. Travel to Xhorhas for Veth. Fight Obann for Yasha. Stop the war for Caleb and Beau, because the Empire is their home. Hold travelercon for Jester. Save Caduceus' home. Fight Trent for Caleb and their families. They are no longer just mercenaries, they are family. And Molly as a person might not have caused this, but the circumstamces of his death combined with his personal philosophies certainly kickstarted it.

It is true they all grew and developed on their own, anon, but Molly was the jumping off point. He was the one who told Beau leave things better than you found them, which she only realized the truth of post his death and made her own. As she mentioned after t9 disasterously stole their first pirate ship (and isn't hilarious that they’ve had multiple pirate ships), one moment of clarity isn't enough. It was their own choice and their own work to grow and develop.

But they were all very clearly aware of the influence Molly had on them. Beau getting a tattoo in his honor (and keeping a piece of his clothing, which she then uses to beat up Lucien in the finale). Jester keeping his tarot cards, finishing them with her own illustrations and teaching herself to use them and then turning them against Lucien. Caleb designing the tower with Molly as a clear visual inspiration (turning also that against Lucien), and kissing Essek on the forehead and urging him to be better as a clear callback to Molly. Yasha keeping the clover he gave her, only to gift it to Lucien in hope of seeing a glimpse of her friend. Veth saying that the only choice they’ve ever consistenetly made is to take care of their friends. Molly’s ghost hangs over them till the end, when he is finally released in the awakening of Kingsley.

I also think there’s a point to be made of fandom reaction to Molly, especially as you brought up thinking he made a larger impression on fandom than on t9, anon. As with many popular characters, I’ve seen a consistent thread of bitterness toward Molly from certain corners of fandom (I have noticed the same thing with Caleb). People thought he was taking up too much space in the tag compared to their faves, who they considered more "deserving" of the attention. They wanted everyone else to stop talking about him and making things about him now that he was dead and, supposedly, irrelevant. When he then ended up not only coming back but taking center stage in the culminating arc, said people got upset that everyone who had refused to forget him had been vindicated. I believe they tried so hard to convince themselves that Molly didn’t matter and that everyone should move on that they turned a blind eye to the actual long term influences he had on t9 and the campaign as a whole.

The Tragedy of Song Huai'en

In the spirit of full disclosure, I’m a Liu Duan Duan fangirl. Unapologetically so. This is a spoiler filled post, so reader discretion is advised. (Written with some inputs from @terribleteej)

When we first meet Song Huai’en, we don’t see him. The focus is fully on Xiao Qi (a brilliant Zhou Ye Wei), like it should be, because he is the male lead. And this was his introduction scene. I, of course noticed him because I started this show forLiu Duan Duan. At this point, he is just a background figure – standing half a step behind Xiao Qi, a lieutenant bellowing his General’s orders.

When we next meet him, we learn that he is Xiao Qi’s right-hand man. Walking behind him, following his orders, fiercely loyal and protective of his General.

Decked in all black, he lurks in the shadows. In fact, he is Xiao Qi’s shadow – something that both becomes the cause of his meteoric rise and terrible downfall. But more on that later.

As the episodes go, we see him as this loveable dork, who likes to playfully banter with his friends. We see him gently tease Xiao Qi, and sportingly let people tease him. One cannot help but love this sweet man. The fact that he looks super pretty is just a bonus. But up until this point, he is, as the poster would have us believe, a side character.

In fact, based on that poster, I assumed that Zitan was the second lead. Huai’en did not even feature much during A’Wu’s abduction and subsequent rescue. A brief, flash in the pan appearance follows when A’Wu and Xiao Qi are attacked, but here, we do see that this man can be very intimidating, something that comes to play later.

However, a discerning viewer might notice that in the small appearances that the character is making, his eyes seem to be trailing A’Wu. He is very quietly crushing on her and at this juncture of the show, we cannot really blame him. A’Wu is stunning and as a young man, he was attracted. Understandable and even innocent.

It is only when we get to Huizhou that we see Song Huai’en in his element. He is leading the army, defending the city, working with A’Wu, Pang Gui, and Mou Lian to make sure that Huishou does not fall. This is the brave General who shines like a bright star, earning A’Wu’s trust and respect, and Yu Xiu’s undying devotion in the process.

At this point in the series, to the viewers at least, Huai’en’s crush on A’Wu becomes obvious in the little queries, the shy smiles, and the feeble excuses to see her. Before he can introspect on his reasons for wanting to see A’Wu, Ma Zi Lu goes tyrannical and Huai’en has to put aside his personal jumble of feelings to focus on the chaos that Zi Lu has unleashed. In trying to do so, he is tortured, believes that he failed in doing the task that A’Wu assigned him and in doing so, falls in his own eyes. One thing that I would like to point out is that here is where he also sustains a significant injury to his head.

Why am I talking about this scene? I mean, it was just whumping, and Pang Gui got massively whumped, so why the focus on Huai’en’s whump? Because unlike Pan Gui, Huai’en suffered a cranial injury. An injury to the head is not something to be brushed off easily. Even a tiny clot in the brain can change a person drastically. And Huai’en does change. He pretty much splits into two – Song Huai’en and Su Yi Bo. I believe that some of it was his inherent fragility, exacerbated by an injury to head that was never addressed. He comes back, all guns blazing, and shoots his arrow to put an end to Ma Zi Lu’s reign of terror.

The chaos reined in, he settles back to his comfortable familiarity and all seems normal. However, with Xiao Qi’s presence at the Yuzhang Manor, things are not what they were before. Huia’en too, is no longer who he was before. The cracks are hairline at this point, so no one notices it. But change is there. He starts to pull back from Xiao Qi and by extension, A’Wu.

On some level, he too understands that his desire for A’Wu is not right, so he holds himself back. The scene below is a perfect example of it.

He comes in with medicines and a plant. A plant that A’Wu had asked him to take care of. Clearly, he wanted to show her that he did what she had asked him to do, but then, when A-Xue jumps to the conclusion that the plant was for Yu Xiu, like the medicines, Huai’en quietly surrenders, knowing that it would be improper for him to harbor any kind of feelings for A’Wu. A theme we see repeated in his terrified reaction to his dream.

Granted it happened after Xiao Qi called him out on his frequent visits to A’Wu, but here is a man who understands he’s crossed a line he shouldn’t have. This is a critical juncture for his character. This is where we first realize that not everything is copacetic with Song Huai’en. Suddenly, his little rueful dialogues early on about Xiao Qi selling away his material possessions take whole different meaning. This is where we learn that this brave soldier from a humble background is dazzled by the material possessions and wealth that is in abundance in the capital. This is where we see that Huai’en is not a mini-Xiao Qi. That in comparison to Xiao Qi, he fails.

Here, I would like to call attention to Xiao Qi’s personality. Xiao Qi is, simply put, larger than life. He is a brilliant General, a loving husband, an adept politician, with iron control on his desires. In some ways, he practically has no vices. If he has a flaw, it is that he is perhaps a tad too patient. What I’m getting at here is that Xiao Qi is like a saint. He is a standard that is almost impossible to achieve.

Huai’en, being his shadow and arguably his best friend, understands that. He is keenlyaware that he is not Xiao Qi and as people start comparing him, his bravery, and his valor to Xiao Qi, it begins to grate on him. If you have ever had a sibling who outshines you in every aspect, you would understand how that slowly chips away at your confidence. All your merits are recognized, but they are perennially the lesser than that of the golden child. This is the crux of Huai’en’s problems. He is eternally the second best.

Wang Lin later states that Huai’en has an inferiority complex, and he is absolutely right. At this stage, Huai’en begins to realize just how wide the chasm that separates him, and Xiao Qi is. And that starts eating at him. The laughing, joking, shy Huai’en slowly starts to retreat into his shell. Both as a scared reaction and as a punishment to himself, he latches on to Yu Xiu.

Why Yu Xiu, though, one might ask. To some, it may look like him trapping her in a loveless marriage. I, however, saw it as him deciding to do the right thing and step away from A’Wu. It was also a bit of if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you are with. He chose a woman he liked enough to give himself a chance to love someone else other than the one forbidden to him.

And love her, he does. But if you are looking for the extravagant flair and loud actions declaring his love, like Xiao Qi does for A’Wu (the second marriage, for example), you won’t find it. Why? Because the entire arc of Song Huai’en is that he is not Xiao Qi.

With A'Wu and Xiao Qi, they have the same love language. But as someone who's been married for 13+ years, I can say that is rare. Most cases, the love languages of couples are different and it takes some time for each to fully understand the language the other is speaking. Time that the two did not get. Yu Xiu never hid her feelings for him. She was upfront with it. So, what was the language that Song Huai’en speaking?

Yu Xiu says he treats her well. Gives her gifts, medicines, clothes, jewelry. Having grown up poor and struggling, money is a big deal to Song Huai’en. Every human being shows their love to their partners with the one thing about themselves that they value the most. For some, it’s food. Some singing. Huai’en is a battle-hardened killer. That’s what he is good at. That can’t be the language of love. So, what else can he do? He showers her with gifts. That is his love language. Yu Xiu wanted more, but Huai’en is not one for big declarations.

Carrying her in his arms is the biggest declaration he would ever make. His love shows in the softness of the tone that he speaks to her in. His love shows in his reaction to her tears. In the soft smiles he gives her. In his horrified reaction when he sees her at the city gates. The battle-hardened Duke is suddenly reduced to a terrified, trembling man. He tells her to go away, repeatedly.

Huai’en is not Zitan. He is not delusional. He knows that there’s a good chance that he would end up dead or worse. He did not want Yu Xiu to witness that. As their conversation proceeds, you see his heart breaking in his eyes.

(Man, Liu Duan Duan spoke VOLUMES through his eyes. Somebody give this man an award already!). And then, he shoots an arrow at her. Only, it misses her. Or does it? An archer of Song Huai’en’s caliber would never miss a shot that easy. This was his way of scaring her into going away, because Yu Xiu was not listening to his words. This was also his way of trying to show the world that she was not his weakness. Only, this backfires and Yu Xiu, in a desperate attempt to make him see reason, jumps from there. The moment she fell, Song Huai’en broke. Shattered.

But he did not weep. Did not seem to mourn her loss. He just moved on. Because, again, Song Huai’en is not one to show big emotions. Not so publicly. Look at his eyes instead. Listen to his gasp of horror and pain. If he had lived through the coup, Huai��en would have mourned Yu Xiu in solitude. But not while thousands of eyes were on him.

But what of the scene where he pushes Yu Xiu and orders her to stay home? He did try to be gentle. He did try, as lovingly as he could, to tell her to stay away from it, but she refused. She dug her heels in. And with so many people watching, and the clock ticking, he snapped. We have all said and done things to the people we love that we should not have. That’s human. I will not crucify him for this one event.

An argument can be made against my theory of him not willing to show his pain in public – that he wept in that carriage with Wang Su when he learned of the Empress Dowager wanting to kill him and the news of Xiao Qi’s death reached him. Yes, he cried. He cried because with Wang Su, was private and safe to show the emotions. (He didn’t know of the assassins waiting outside). Something that the city gates most certainly were not. At the city gate, he lets the soldier in him take over. But in the carriage, he is still Song Huai’en.

Which brings me to Wang Su and by extension Wang Lin. Wang Lin, being the snake that he is, tells Huai’en exactly what he wants to hear. Wang Lin is a master manipulator; he’s made his entire career out of being the devil on people’s shoulders. Huai’en was just not equipped to shut out that insidious voice. It had been previously established that Huai’en did not understand court politics as well as Xiao Qi did, so the puppet did not see the strings till it was very late.

Wang Lin, however, for all his tricks, forgot a crucial thing. That Song Huai’en is a Ningshou General. The army that has, on more than one occasion, changed the course of history with their blades. And that Huai’en is a soldier through and through. Something Wang Lin should have realized with Maidservant Xu’s stabbing, but he didn’t. He missed just how easy it is for Huai’en to switch from a human to a killing machine. He did not realize that it was Su Yi Bo that he was talking to when he told Huai’en that he could not let Xu Gu Gu see him. When she does see him, he instantly goes into the soldier following orders mode. It was a crucial bit that Wang Lin missed. It was a mistake that ultimately cost him his life.

That cold blooded killer is the one that resurfaces with the killing of Hu Yao. Yet again, I have seen people rage at him for killing her and yes, it was not pleasant to see, but guess what? They were at war. They were both fulfilling the role of a soldier. One died, one moved on. It hurt him to watch his comrade fall under his own blade, you can see it on his face, but the soldier marched on.

By now, Su Yi Bo, the Edward Hyde to Song Huai’en’s Henry Jekyll, is fighting Huai’en for control. He’s at war, both inside and out. But he still doesn’t show it. He puts his game face on and goes on to fulfill the one dream that both the viewers and Huai’en himself have nurtured for a very long time – he flings Zitan out of the throne. (Man, that was glorious!). Allows Wang Lin to sit on it, only to stab him in the back, both literally and metaphorically.

When Wang Lin turned his back on Huai'en, the real soldier --a General of NIngzhou-- stepped out and killed the opposition leader, and thus did as he has been trained to do all his life. Fight and conquer and take from the enemy. He knewWang Lin was the enemy in the end and he rose to the surface long enough to do what he has been trained to do all his life. But immediately after that, Su Yi Bo takes over.

And then, and only then, does he speak of his real feelings. Feelings that he has buried deep in his heart. Feelings of inadequacy and neglect. Feelings of being the second best. The silent fight he fought all his life. The one thing he wanted to do – get out of Xiao Qi’s shadow. That was his motivating factor. By this point, his proposition to A’Wu is more of a snub to Xiao Qi than a love declaration for A’Wu. He knows very well she would not accept him. And at this point, he no longer cares. He is broken beyond repair. He is unstable, switching between Song Huai’en and Su Yi Bo.

Song Huai’en is the one that killed Wang Lin and threw Zitan away. Su Yi Bo is the one that killed Hu Yao and propositioned A’Wu. Su Yi Bo is the one who gets shot by the arrow, but Huai’en is the one that pleads with Xiao Qi to take him back to Ningshou with his dying breath. And then, Xiao weeps.

Xiao Qi weeps at the loss of his best friend. His brother. Arguably the one he loved the most after A’Wu. Xiao Qi is the first to see the crack in Huai’en. Upon discovering the evidence of pilfering, Xiao Qi hopes that his veiled insinuation and gentle nudges will put Huai’en in the right path and for a time, it does. But then, the Empress Dowager pulls them apart by sending Huai’en as flood relief. By the time Xiao Qi meets Huai’en again, he is aware of what the court is doing. By then, Xiao Qi has already been framed for Zilong’s murder, has lost a chunk of his soldiers and has been labeled a traitor.

When Huai’en and Xiao Qi meet at the gate, Wang Lin’s claws are already deep into Huai’en. When Xiao Qi addresses him as Su Yi Bo, he has already realized that his best friend and brother is lost. Cracked. Xiao Qi mourns the loss of his trusted General and yet, holds on to the hope that Huai’en will pull through. But as a more than a month passes and Huai’en doesn’t come to visit them, Xiao Qi has to accept that things will never go back to being the way they were.

Yet, it is Xiao Qi’s love for his brother-in-arms that makes him adopt Huai’en and Yu Xiu’s son. It is of note that Huai’en did not name his son. It may not the sign of neglect that it is perceived to be. I know that in some parts of the world, there was a custom to not give a baby a name for he first six months of its life for the simple reason that infant mortality was very high. Once the baby was relatively safe, the parents would name them. I don’t know if this was a thing in ancient China, but it might be. By the time the child became old enough to be named, Huai’en is already splitting, being pulled in a hundred different directions. He never got a chance because of the Roaring Tornado of chaos in the capital that kept him too busy to be able to focus on his home. He did not name his child. He should have, but he didn’t.

He was undoubtedly the most tragic character in the end. He broke and he did some things that are very hard to forgive, but those were done in the throes of insanity. Not bitter hatefulness. Zitan was hateful, Zi Lu was hateful. Wang Lin was consumed with hate. Wanru and Jin’er fed the hate in their heart, enjoyed it even. The Empress Dowager hated the whole world. Huai’en, however, was just tragic.

At the end of the day, I guess what I’m saying is that Song Huai’en is not a villain. He is human. A fallible, flawed, foolish one, but human, nonetheless. Conflicted, controlled, corrupted, confused, cracked, and compromised. And he is not, as the poster would have us believe, a support character. He was the second lead of this story and that is a hill I will plant my stake on.

𝐍𝐎  𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐒,  𝐍𝐎  𝐅𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋𝐒.  once  again,  thank  you  all  so  much  for  the  dedication  put  into  applying  here  at  mourners  ;  it’s  truly  been  a  pleasure  reading  all  of  your  applications  &.  i’m  tremendously  grateful.  turning  down  an  application  is  never  an  easy  process,  and  there  were  many  instances  in  which  i  wished  i  could  permit  a  duplicate  upon  the  dash.  with  that  said,  i’m  looking  forward  to  both  speaking  &.  plotting  with  each  of  you  tomorrow  (  bear  with  me  while  all  pages  &.  skeletons  are  properly  updated  )  —  welcome  to  mourners  !  please  review  our  checklist  and  report  to  the  barrel  boss  within  the  next  twenty - four  hours.

𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐉  𝐆𝐇𝐀𝐅𝐀

VENLI  !  choosing  an  inej  for  mourners  was  ...  a  feat,  as  each  applicant  displayed  an  exquisite  version  of  our  wraith,  but  what  swayed  me  in  the  end  was  the  balance  you  kept  between  who  she  was  while  with  the  dregs  &.  who  she  became  without  them.  the  details  surrounding  intricacies  of  her  newfound  crewmen  (  &.  her  family  post  their  reunion  )  in  which  helped  shape  the  woman  outside  the  barrel  were  lovely  to  read  (  her  thoughts  on  rilar,  in  particular,  were  both  authentic  &.  entertaining  )  ;  i  could  picture  the  scenes  in  earnest.  i  also  loved  the  mention  of  how  she  came  to  understand  kaz’s  own  vices  after  having  to  face  her  own  whilst  sailing  the  seas.  thank  you  for  taking  the  time  to  apply  —  i  look  forward  to  seeing  your  inej  in  play.

𝐉𝐄𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐑  𝐅𝐀𝐇𝐄𝐘

NOAH  !  the  bit  about  kaz  disproving  jesper’s  exaggerated  stories  had  me  rolling,  and  your  headcanon  regarding  jesper  being  an  absolute  catastrophe  in  the  kitchen  (  gordon  ramsay  is  unamused  )  ?  you  wrote  it  best:  ‘  tall,  lanky,  restless,  distracted,  easily  bored.  ’.  incredibly  handsome,  but  certainly  cannot  focus  on  a  single  recipe.  on  a  serious  note  (  despite  the  consistent,  comical  little  tidbits  which  made  your  application  such  a  pleasure  to  read  ),  the  grasp  upon  his  character  you  presented  between  struggling  with  guilt  &.  penitence  was  flawless,  and  something  i  look  forward  to  seeing  explored  on  the  dash.

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐀𝐒  𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐀𝐑

ABBY  !  there  was  so  much  i  loved  about  your  matthias,  but  i  especially  appreciated  how  you  incorporated  the  other  skeletons  into  interpersonal  plot  points  for  him.  the  attention  to  detail  within  matthias’  headspace  when  ruminating  over  them  was  absolutely  believable  to  his  character.  the  vast  detail  you  supplied  for  each  personality  trait  &.  headcanons  were  so  indicative  of  who  he’s  been  and  who  he’s  become  (  or  trying  so  desperately  to  be  ).  i’m  interested  to  see  his  reactions  to  henrik’s  next  moves  just  as  much  as  you,  and  where  our  drüskelle  will  stand,  then.  oh,  and  abby,  what’s  the  first  rule  about  fight  club  ?

𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐀  𝐙𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐊

EMILY  !  ah,  yes,  nina,  our  waffle  queen.  her  past,  present  &.  sought  future  were  crafted  so  wonderfully  within  your  application  ;  i  particularly  loved  your  headcanon  dealing  with  her  time  as  a  heartrender,  where  nina  stubbornly  wished  to  understand  the  small  science  whilst  her  peers  were  occupied  with  morozov’s  manuals.  it  was  a  pleasure  to  be  able  to  read  her  thoughts  on  the  grisha  she’s  become,  the  label  of  corpsewitch  adhered  to  her,  the  burden  it  has  also  set  upon  her  as  ‘  self - appointed  grisha  guardian  angel  ’.  &.  i  do  hope  you  get  to  share  those  plot  ideas  with  some  of  our  fellow  grisha,  as  your  points  revolving  around  them  were  so  well  thought  out  and  executed.  also,  you’re  right  —  kaz  gets  way  too  into  the  costumes.

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍

HARPER  !  i’m  ready  to  interact  with  felix.  it’s  no  wonder  kaz  made  him  a  deal  —  tragedy  maketh  man,  and  if  there’s  one  thing  dirtyhands  can  comprehend,  it’s  being  dealt  a  bad  hand.  i  love  the  idea  in  which  you  set  forth  that  he’s  lived  his  life  in  such  silence,  that  there  are  those  who  have  known  him  for  several  years,  but  haven’t  heard  even  a  whisper  slip  from  his  tongue.  the  way  you  transitioned  felix’s  headcanons  into  the  pivotal  moments  of  his  life  made  it  a  blast  to  read  through  (  especially  during  the  deal,  where  we  got  a  good  look  at  the  first  devil  in  his  life  —  do  old  habits  die  hard,  in  the  end  ?  ).  once  again,  welcome  to  mourners  (  i  foresee  much  plotting  in  our  future  ).

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑

ALEX  !  we  do  love  a  good  destroyer,  and  marlaina  is  no  exception.  she  knows  her  power  &.  is  not  afraid  to  unleash  it,  a  trait  that,  while  prized  within  the  dregs,  can  also  become  a  nightmare.  after  all,  control  &.  patience  can  be  key.  the  idea  that  she’s  particularly  skilled  at  cards  (  as  well  as  banned  from  most  gambling  halls  )  was  a  fresh  addition  to  the  skeleton,  as  i  quite  love  the  idea  of  our  hellish  heartrender  pushing  her  luck  at  the  crow’s  club  (  when  has  that  ever  ended  badly  ?  ).  i  agree  it’d  be  an  interesting  concept  to  see  her  have  another  grisha  under  her  wing,  especially  when  she  herself  is  always  so  keen  to  detonate  —  her  desertion,  however,  will  surely  catch  up  with  her  soon.

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑

MARGOT  !  you  have  spun  the  impostor  into  an  entirely  new  medium,  and  produced  a  character  that  went  beyond  the  skeleton  provided.  ‘  prison  changed  you.  for  the  better.  you’re  more  fun  now,  sociable  and  loud,  like  a  cannon,  truly.  so  loud  everybody  jumps  when  you  burst  into  a  room.  ’  one  of  the  first  few  lines  in  your  application,  but  what  immediately  captured  my  attention  and  had  me  buckle  in.  i  never  considered  that  the  target  in  which  damned  the  impostor  to  the  depths  of  hellgate  could  be  family,  but  now  i’d  not  have  it  any  other  way.  aris  is  a  world  class  actor  &.  i  cannot  wait  to  help  you  set  the  stage  (  &.  maybe  watch  it  burn  in  the  process  ).

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐄𝐔𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐓

HENRY  JUDE  !  i  wasn’t  sure  if  there’d  be  a  lieutenant  at  the  start  of  mourners,  so  i  was  absolutely  thrilled  when  receiving  your  application.  an  important  player  with  a  plethora  of  potential  directions  in  which  they  could  shift,  and  i  can’t  wait  to  see  if  jozef's  includes  the  checkmate.  the  craftsmanship  in  your  design  for  him  was  extraordinarily  executed  and  quite  poetic  ;  he  was  absolute  pleasure  to  study.  i  look  forward  to  plotting  with  you  as  well  as  discussing  the  similarities  between  our  broken,  disastrous  muses  (  also,  i  can’t  believe  we’re  both  aleksander  morozova  apologists  ).

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐑

ARACELIA  !  i’m  in  love  with  anya.  you  put  so  much  adoration  into  her  creation  &.  i  cannot  wait  to  see  it  bleed  onto  the  dash  (  you  make  it  so  hard  to  loathe  a  traitor  ).  her  personality  is  so  believably  balanced,  and  more  than  what  my  own  ideas  surrounding  the  role  initially  included.  the  birth  of  a  monster,  the  birth  of  a  tailor  &.  the  birth  of  an  illusionist  were  impeccably  composed  stories  which  sewed  her  into  existence.  you’ve  forged  a  character  who  is  the  definition  of  ‘  so  much  more  than  meets  the  eye  ’  &.  i  am  thrilled  to  have  gotten  the  first  look  at  our  scarab  queen.

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐑  |  EM  !  i  absolutely  love  the  concept  of  aleni  (  as  kaz  would  say:  she’s  a  particularly  good  investment  ).  with  grisha  within  his  crew,  what  better  for  an  amplifier  to  do  ?  i  was  wondering  if  i’d  see  an  application  involving  ketterdam’s  university,  and  was  immediately  thrilled  when  seeing  it  pulled  into  aleni’s  history.  the  idea  that  she  loved  ketterdam  in  any  capacity  is  not  something  you  tend  to  hear  (  it  died  quickly,  of  course  ),  which  was  a  unique  mention  within  your  wildcard.  &.  we  will  definitely  have  to  discuss  aleni  mistakenly  having  amplified  the  inferni  at  fifth  harbour,  as  i  believe  you’ve  proposed  an  excellent  idea.

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐑  //  𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐀  𝐒𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑  |  IRIS  !  to  be  introduced  to  valdis  by  way  of  your  character  summary  was  a  treat.  i  absolutely  loved  the  way  it  was  written,  and  immediately  knew  why  she’d  made  it  into  the  dregs  (  truly  obsessed  with  her  being  the  daughter  of  a  pirate  captain  ).  though  she  managed  to  escape  her  original  work  with  braam,  it  seems,  for  a  time,  she  had  let  history  repeat  itself,  but  with  perhaps  a  better  boss  than  originally  at  the  helm.  &.  with  a  new  debt  paid,  how  fast  till  old  loyalty  dies  ?  

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑  //  𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐀  𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐑  |  REE  !  it’s  all  in  the  bones.  a  fjerdan  fleeing  for  discovering  themselves  grisha  is  always  something  i’ve  wanted  to  see  explored,  and  now  i  have  a  front  row  seat.  to  be  ostracized  by  their  own  &.  then  by  a  place  of  presumed  sanctuary  can  induce  a  particular  psychosis  within  the  most  stable  of  individuals,  and  we  do  love  sigyn’s  particular  brand  of  crazy.  you’ve  provided  an  entirely  fresh  take  on  what  is  known  of  a  grisha  healer,  and  how  such  gifts  may  be  construed  when  mixed  with  the  beliefs  of  fjerda.  thank  you  for  delivering  such  a  spellbinding  character  to  mourners.

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓  𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋  |  ALI  !  with  a  vast  cast  of  varying  characters,  i  was  thrilled  to  see  that  senna  originally  came  from  wealth  (  it’s  a  different  path  to  weave,  one  that  usually  draws  more  enemies  than  friends  ).  your  application  was  so  appreciated,  providing  a  role  in  which  started  from  the  top  &.  careened  to  the  bottom  (  i  do  hope  to  see  senna  &.  wylan  swap  stories,  especially  where  senna  has  made  strides  to  escape  the  tread  of  their  father  ).  you  call  it  their  grand  adventure,  and  in  all  its  sinister  glory,  it’s  only  just  begun.  welcome  to  mourners  ;  let’s  plot  some  blackmail.

𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐑  //  𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐀  𝐓𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐑  |  NINA  !  both  applications  for  our  resident  tidemaker  spun  tales  which  were  a  pleasure  to  traverse,  and  i  would  have  loved  to  have  both  turning  the  tides  for  the  dregs.  manu  belongs  in  a  novel,  with  all  the  devotion  you’ve  clearly  put  into  him.  &.  i  am  ecstatic  to  at  least  have  him  for  mourners’  chapters.  when  you  wrote  ‘  for  the  wanderer  was  nothing  if  not  a  mismatched  family,  made  with  kerch  purple,  fjerdan  ice,  kaelish  fire,  zemeni  courage  and  ravkan  boldness  ’,  i  found  myself  able  to  refer  to  it  whilst  reading  through  the  life  authored  for  him,  able  to  pick  out  these  particular  qualities  on  his  way  to  the  barrel.  &.  hopefully,  he’ll  reach  the  surface  soon.

SHADOWHUNTERS - Created by Ed Decter - Based on The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare

Content Warning - Mentions of abuse, suicide, self harm, internalised homophobia and drugs.

The Netflix show Shadowhunters has a lot of important topics to talk about. These include sexuality, grief, addiction, religion and mental illness.

Firstly, the Warlock, Magnus. Magnus Bane is an openly bisexual male who doesn't conform to gender roles. He is not ashamed to talk about his past relationships with both men and women, which is something that is not really seen within the LGBT community. People often hide their sexuality or gender identity due to fear of being treated differently, but Magnus is so open about his sexuality. He is not ashamed of who he is and is proud of his identity, something everyone should aspire to be, regardless of their gender identity or sexuality.

Magnus embraces his femininity, unlike a lot of cisgender men. He wears makeup (specifically eyeliner, which he describes as his tiger stripes) and paints his nails, something which is a stereotypically feminine trait (although that is slowly changing). As well as this, a lot of his clothing could be described as 'feminine'. This shows other LGBTQ+ people that they are able to embrace their femininity regardless of their gender identity; Things should not be gendered. Experimenting with your gender expression should not be looked down on. Everyone should be able to be free to express themselves however they want without fear of judgement. Magnus’ character is the embodiment of this. He is never judged for how he expresses himself.

Magnus is also shown to struggle with the loss of magic and therefore turns to alcohol, which is a very negative coping mechanism. He ends up having a breakdown in front of his (at the time) boyfriend as a result of drinking too much and not being able to cope with his magic being taken away. Magnus has friends who help him through his loss, especially Alec, who reminds him he is no less of a person without his magic and that he still loves him regardless. People often turn to alcohol or drugs as they believe it will distract them from their issues, which is why this portrayal is very true to the real world. Magnus feels a loss of identity through losing his magic, which is to be expected since he has has magic for over four hundred years. He feels powerless and useless without this huge part of him, however he is lucky to have a huge support system to help him through his dark times.

As well as the trauma from losing his magic twice, Magnus also suffers from PTSD due to events of his past. When body swapped with Valentine, the Clave use the agony rune on Magnus as a form of torture to get him to tell them where the Mortal Cup is. The rune only ends up bringing up past trauma which he has spent centuries trying to bury. After returning to his body, Magnus talks to Alec about what he did and explains that he never wanted Alec to see this ugly side of him. Showing Magnus so vulnerable and talking about his trauma shows people that opening up can help them move on from events of the past. Alec is extremely comforting towards Magnus and expresses how he thinks there is nothing ugly about him. This seems to be a huge relief for Magnus.

Next, Shadowhunter Alec. Alec Lightwood is one of the few gay characters who hasn't been portrayed in a stereotypical way. He is the leader of the New York Institute and is incredibly masculine, which is very different to how gay men are usually portrayed in the media. Having a (now openly) gay man be someone that high up in status is important as it shows other gay or LGBTQ+ people that they can do everything that a non LGBTQ+ person can do and more. By being open about the fact he is gay to the rest of the Institute, it gives other LGBTQ+ Shadowhunters the confidence to be able to talk about their sexuality or gender, as shown by Underhill who tells Alec how inspirational he is. As well as other characters now being confident in opening up about their sexuality, a lot of fans would have also found inspiration in Alec's bravery to come out the way he did. Alec also dealt with a lot of internalised homophobia due to his status and his family, which is something a lot of people can relate to as people are often ashamed of their sexuality due to judgemental family or how society can portray the LGBTQ+ community. Alec managed to get rid of the internalised homophobia with the help of his family and friends, and his now husband. This shows to fans that there are people who support them greatly and will never judge them. Having supportive people around you can help immensely and can save someone's life.

In season 2 episode 4, Alec is possessed by a demon who uses his body to kill Jocelyn, Clary’s mother. He feels incredibly guilty about this and blames himself, despite the others telling him not to. We don’t see much more about Alec’s guilt until season 2 episode 8, in which Alec’s worst fears are brought out due to Iris’ attack on Magnus’ apartment. When talking to Clary on the balcony, he hears her blame him for her mother’s death, when in reality she is trying to talk him down from the balcony. He tries to jump, but luckily Magnus catches him before he manages to. After the attack has been resolved, Magnus talks about how magic cannot create fears, but bring them out, showing just how much Jocelyn’s death effected Alec. As well as Alec almost falling from the balcony, we see him repeatedly shoot arrows which results in his fingers bleeding. This seems like a type of self harm for him, as he doesn’t use the healing rune to fix up the wounds. Magnus points this out as well as the fact that Alec is clearly hurting due to what the demon did. He explains that Alec hopes the pain in his fingers will overpower the pain he is feeling from the guilt, but that it is not that easy. Magnus does all he can to try and comfort Alec.

In the finale of season 3B, we see Alec as Inquisitor and Magnus as High Warlock of Alicante. Previously, there would never have been a High Warlock for any of the Shadowhunter cities, as Downworlders and Shadowhunters were generally separated. By being open about their relationship and Alec being so high in power, they managed to change how the Shadowhunters treat other Downworlders. They ultimately end up working with each other instead of against. Magnus and Alec changed the world with their relationship. They ended the blatant racism between Downworlders and Shadowhunters and they are finally treated as equal.

When planning his and Magnus’ wedding, he states he would like to have it at the Institute. He explains that this is because the Clave would have to celebrate a relationship between a Shadowhunter and a Downworlder under their own roof. Having the wedding in the Institute shows how much Alec is willing to do to abolish the clear racism and hatred of Downworlders within the Clave. This, along with several other acts during the one year time skip (I imagine), had a huge effect on the perception on Downworlders and both Shadowhunters and Downworlders end up working together.

Raphael Santiago is (while nothing is explicitly said about his sexuality) an asexual vampire. He explains to Izzy that he's not interested in sex, implying he is asexual, which was then comfirmed by the book writer, Cassandra Clare. Vampires are often portrayed as sexual beings in the media, and the fact that Raphael is asexual is completely different from the norm. There isn't a lot of asexual representation in the media and is often completely forgotten about, so seeing a character be open about his asexuality to one of his friends gives representation to an often ignored sexuality. Having this kind of representation is important as it lets other asexual people know they aren't alone and also validates their feelings.

Raphael also manages to keep his faith throughout his life time despite everything he has been through. When he becomes mundane again, he talks about how he went to morning mass for the first time in 80 years. In the season finale of 3B, he states to Simon and Isabelle that he joined the seminary and is on his way to becoming a priest. Despite the hell he has been through, he still managed to keep his faith and intends to devote his life to it. To other religious people who might watch the show, it tells them that they should never give up on their faith, regardless of what they go through. Despite not being a religious person myself, I can fully understand how that may be comforting.

We see Raphael’s sister struggle with dementia as it ultimately worsens and she easily forgets who Raphael is. Despite her not knowing who he is, he visits her often and spends as much time as possible with her. In season 3 episode 3, Raphael gets a phone call from the nursing home explaining that she has passed away. This very clearly affects him a lot, and he immediately turns to Izzy for comfort. He is upset that he cannot attend her funeral due to it being during the day, so Izzy promises that she will go in his place. When he becomes mundane again, he goes to Rosa’s grave and plants flowers for her, something he hadn’t been able to do previously. I think this would have been a huge weight off of his chest.

In season 3 episode 5, the head of security, Underhill, talks to Alec about how he is an inspiration for being in a same sex relationship with a downworlder. He explains that if it wasn’t for Alec he would have never had the courage to come out to the Institute. He had to keep his private life separate from his job at the institute until Alec had the courage to show his true feelings for Magnus. This just proves how much of an inspiration Alec is to the rest of the Institute.

As well as Underhill, Shadowhunters Helen (who is half Seelie) and Aline also end up having the courage to be together. In the finale, we see them kiss at Alec and Magnus’ wedding after talking about what they could wear for their own wedding. Their relationship is a similar one to Alec and Magnus, as it is a same sex relationship and one of them is part Downworlder. If it wasn’t for Magnus and Alec being open about their relationship, I doubt they would have been able to be public with their own.

Luke Garroway’s partner, Ollie Wilson, is also in a same sex relationship. While she and her girlfriend, Sam, are a minor part of the show, it gives us another same sex relationship but with mundanes instead of the Shadow World. The two share everything with each other and seem to be in a very committed and loving relationship.

The show also deals with drug addiction, as seen in Isabelle Lightwood. Victor Aldertree gives Izzy Yin Fen, a drug made from vampire venom, as a pain relief for her demon wound. Yin Fen is immediately addicting and Aldertree gives her a jar of it to use when she needs it. Once she finds out what it is from the Iron Sisters, she tried to stay clean, but ends up suffering from really bad withdrawals. In response to this, she tries to find some vampires who are willing to feed from her to get her fix of venom. Raphael agrees to do this, which only gets him addicted to her blood. They both agree that it would be best for them both to stop. Izzy then uses candy as a way to control her withdrawals. Through this and the support of her brother, she manages to stay clean.

Abuse is also heavily dealt with. Johnathan, Clary’s brother, was sent to Edom at a young age and suffered torture from Lilith. She burned him constantly, and when he returned to Earth, he continued to burn himself as a sort of reminder. As well as physically abusing Johnathan, Lilith also mentally abused him, telling him that no one would come for him. This clearly affected him for the rest of his life and he continues to struggle with the trauma of the abuse. When connected by the twinning rune, the behaviour of burning himself was also transferred to Clary. They slowly become more connected and behaviours are shared.

Every topic discussed within the show was dealt with in a very mature and understanding way. With such heavy topics being included, there is always the potential for there to be bad writing as people often struggle to understand certain concepts, but they were all very well written and dealt with maturely. All of these things combined have made Shadowhunters one of the most representative shows to ever exist. These are the reasons why it has become one of my favourite shows and why I will never let it go, even though it’s officially over. It didn’t deserve to end at all, but I’m just glad we got to have this amazing show exist in the first place.

Thank you to the cast and crew, who have done an amazing job portraying some of the best characters and storylines. Thank you for making me and a lot of others feel like they aren’t alone in the world.

I want to ask for your full Director's Commentary on the whole of "in the language of flowers," but that might take too long! Can you tell me about your favorite section to write? Or if you'd like something a little more specific, anything you would like to say about the epilogue, or Sirius and Petunia's relationship? Thank you!! ❤❤

it’s been two years so it’s a little hard to get back into that head space but I’ll try my best lol. just in general I think the desire to write the fic came from wanting to write a long-term HP fic where I didn’t need to rely on the books to guide me through scenes and characters. with Flowers I pretty much could do whatever I wanted in terms of plot and characters as long as I hit certain points (the start of the war, Sirius running away from home, Lily and James getting together, etc). it was pretty freeing and I was able to do what I wanted with Petunia so long as she still was recognizable as her canon self.  I had a lot of favorite chapters so i’ll just go in order: chapter 1 was a big deal to me bc I needed to establish the baseline of the Lily and Petunia sister relationship right off the bat. I wanted their relationship to be loving and close but also quite tense on Petunia’s part; she is inherently an anxious, cynical, and insecure person, and being the younger sister, in this case, of someone as charismatic and charming as Lily isn’t easy. at the same time I wanted to emphasize how devoted Petunia still was to her and how much she idolized Lily’s looks and intelligence. I also wanted to get across some of her more obsessive compulsive behaviors and the effect they have had on her childhood.  I also have always liked writing Severus and I think the back and forth between him and Petunia not just in the first chapter but throughout the fic is very interesting, bc they really have a lot in common personality wise. both are very jealous and possessive people, both are quite insecure about themselves, from their appearances to their personalities, both find it difficult to make friends and difficult to hold their tongues when they’re upset. in any other circumstances, I think Petunia and Severus really could have become good friends. I also wanted to emphasize that while Lily can be somewhat oblivious to Petunia’s unease and insecurity, she is a very loving person and a good sister. I didn’t want the fic to be about making Lily out to be a villain or a bully in order to make Petunia look better, or just them constantly battling each other. chapter 3 was also really important to me bc it sets up Petunia’s first impression of James and Sirius, and I think it kind of shows how they were both little shits as children haha. in that, she has no delusions about them and recognizes that both of them have the potential to be quite nasty little bullies when push comes to shove. obviously eventually she comes to consider both friends and close allies, but James comes into Hogwarts as essentially this very coddled and spoiled little prince who’s used to being showered with affection and attention, and Sirius’ whole persona is that of a kid who treats everything as one big joke because it helps him forget about his abusive home life.  I also really love the line where Marlene shakes James’ hand but says, “Galleons really do jangle in the same pocket” referring to the Potters and Blacks being well known for their money, something James is secretly a bit insecure about. Remus and Petunia’s meeting in chapter 5 was really important to me because he is her ‘in’ to the Marauders simply by virtue of being such an accepting and compassionate kid, despite his own trauma and illness. Petunia’s not naturally inclined to feel a ton of sympathy for other people, but she does for him, and he really opens her up in a lot of ways to becoming more accepting of the Hogwarts experience. that her eventual reaction to discovering he is a werewolf is not terror and disgust but sympathy and a desire to help is probably one of the first major signs of her character development. chapter 8 was also really fun bc it’s the first real one on one Petunia and Sirius interaction! tbh I think a lot of readers assume I began the story out of a desire to write a romance between the two, but it was actually *not* in my initial loose notes for the story. I hadn’t really focused on any kind of romance for Petunia at all and it ended up just sliding its way in the more I thought about it. the two of them are very different but in some ways well-suited to each other; Petunia is almost *never* impressed by Sirius’ antics and he is I think someone who would want to be challenged and pushed back on by a partner.  in that same token chapter 11 is pretty important to me bc suddenly we’ve made it to 4th year and both Petunia and Sirius’ home situations have worsened. I actually was not entirely happy with that chapter at the time because I disliked writing in the kiss between them so early on, and I felt like I was rushing into the romance. however, in the long run I think it worked out, as they clearly don’t jump into a relationship from there, and with the emotional intensity of the two of them opening up to one another it made sense.  I also really liked the acknowledgement from Petunia that she sees through all the ‘I don’t give a fuck’ posturing- Sirius *does* care about being rejected and hurt by his family, he *does* care about not having a good relationship with his parents, and he *does* want that sort of easy affection and love that James has with his parents and Petunia has with her father. his problem isn’t that he doesn’t care; he cares rather a lot

chapter 14 is obviously a big deal within the story bc it is the point of Lily and Severus’ big fight which pretty much ends the friendship. I was going crazy at the time trying to figure out how/when to include it, since Severus is at Hogwarts, Lily is at home in muggle school, she hasn’t seen his problems with James and co. or all the bullying and violence, she doesn’t know much about his growing interest in the Death Eater cause... but in the moment what matters to Lily is him threatening her sister. I think at the exact moment she sees Severus having cornered Petunia down by the river it all sort of slots into place for Lily and she realizes A. he is not the same little boy she befriended, he is a potentially violent 15 year old, and B. his hatred for Petunia mostly stems from the fact that she is the unwanted replacement of Lily in his life. so with all that suddenly crashing over her, Lily really snaps and without much thought for her own safety, gets between the two of them and dresses him down once and for all.  also, the love between the two sisters is just really touching right then and there, as Petunia finally realizes Lily would truly do anything for her. the fight in chapter 16 was also a favorite moment of mine bc finally all the background stuff comes to a head in Sirius and Petunia’s relationship. she realizes he’s been kicked out of the house and has hidden it from her, and his poor reaction is of course, to mock her over acting as though they’re ‘going steady’.  then of course comes the nasty realization that the rumors about Sirius being in a relationship with her contributed to said disownment, and Sirius admitting to her that he got into a fight with Lucius Malfoy over a ‘joke’ about harming Petunia. this is what really sends Petunia into a spiral- she knows Lucius to be a Death Eater and the idea of Sirius in any way antagonizing him horrifies her. which then leads into the big issue between them, on top of all their communication problems- Sirius has every intention of fighting Voldemort’s forces, whereas Petunia wants to keep her head down and live a normal life. this is not something that can be easily resolved, given how stubborn both of them are. he regards it as his duty to throw himself into the fight and to prove how he isn’t like the rest of his family, especially jr. Death Eater Regulus- whereas Petunia thinks he has a death wish.

I don’t want to just summarize the entire fic so I’ll stop there haha. but yes, I am still really fond of Flowers and the relationship between Petunia and Lily and Petunia and Sirius. the epilogue was really just me giving them all a hug and sending them on their way like a proud parent. (I’m actually surprised people liked the epilogue, especially people who commented that they preferred the fic’s epilogue to the one at the end of Deathly Hallows, since I think the two have a lot of similarities in terms of the main characters having settled down into more ‘normal’ adulthood with a couple of kids).

Mackson meta

I love the relationship between Eric Jackson/Nathan Miller on The 100 and am in the mood to do a bit of meta, just to answer the questions ‘Who are they and what makes them work as a couple?’ Given their limited screen time, it was fun to mine what I could from limited material. First, a disclaimer - I’m only on episode 5 x 8.  

Looking at Jackson first, and starting with a few obvious things. He’s an adult when we first meet him, and he already has a good sense of purpose.  He’s a born healer. He’s quiet.  He is very serious, carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders –given his limited time in front of the camera, we don’t know how often (or if) he lets his guard down and laughs. He probably puts the needs of others before his own – think of 5 x 2 when Abby tells him she’s happy for him (because he has Miller), and he immediately turns it around to ask how she is and express concern for her. He lost his mother, possibly when he was young, and it’s obvious that Abby has been his mother-figure for a long time. (Check the tears in his eyes in 1 x 1 when Kane is trying to float Abby). He decides to take the chip in Season 3, probably feeling desperate for a route towards ending the suffering of other people, something he always tries to do but can never succeed at.

 We don’t know if he’s ever been in another relationship before Miller. Maybe he has; he’s got to be at least 23 years old before the time jump and there had to have been some interested parties on the Ark. Or maybe he hasn’t; he’s clearly been working constantly ever since he’s been able to, so maybe he would have felt guilty for pursuing romance. However, I lean towards thinking that he has been in a relationship before. He is the one who makes the first move on Miller in Season 4, suggesting that he has some experience and confidence in this arena.

 We have more material on Miller (though still not enough). He is younger when the show starts, and I feel his personality was not yet fully developed or defined back then. Partially because of limited screen time, and partially because he is under 18 when the show starts and he just has some natural growing up to do. What we do see is that he has a sense of humor (such as during the ghost stories conversation with Bryan and Harper), and he appears loyal to Bellamy. Part of that loyalty is undoubtedly due to the fact that he is trying to do what all of The 100 is trying to do -  whatever it takes to survive. Miller does a good job of getting in with Bellamy’s group and being seen as a good foot soldier/ good lieutenant to Bellamy. This theme replays itself throughout the series; he is always a good solider, and in Season 5 it is the other Blake for whom he is a good lieutenant.

 We know three things about Miller’s time on the Ark.

1.    He has a father who loves him

2.    He has a boyfriend named Bryan

3.    He was arrested for stealing

 My head-canon is that his theft had to do with stealing a gift or something for Bryan, but there’s nothing in canon to back that up. We do know from season 2 that Miller is ashamed of what he had done, ashamed for having let his father down. We don’t know how long he was incarcerated before being sent down to earth, but you can be sure that he’s had plenty of time to think about the ramifications of his actions.

 We can also infer that he was training to be in the guard, like his father, back on the Ark. Miller’s too good of a solider by the time he gets to the ground for him to not have had some training.

 Before we can get to Mackson as a couple, I need to take a glimpse at “Briller” – Miller and his ex Bryan. They’re reunited in Season 3, and it must have been hard for them; at one point they surely must’ve thought they’d never see each other again. On top of that, there are serious, major life experiences that they do not share (Season one’s war with the Grounders, Miller’s experiences as a captive in Mount Weather just for starters). As far as we can tell, the two young men do try to make it work, which indicates to me that Miller likes being in a relationship, likes having someone to love. When Bryan is up on the Ark, Miller never cheats on him despite knowing that he might never see him again. Unlike with Finn, perhaps the opportunity never presented itself but this still suggests that one of Miller’s qualities is loyalty.

 My favorite conversation of Briller’s occurs at the end of Season 3 when they spend a minute dreaming of their future, thinking of how they’d love to have a farm and chickens. It gives a great glimpse into Miller’s head. He probably is a solider because he has to be, but he dreams of peace. During those years in the bunker, his dream of living on a farm must’ve felt even more remote than ever, though at least he had a man he loves to dream alongside.

 We never get the full story on why it didn’t work out with Bryan. Was it due mainly to their disagreement on how to handle the Azgeda slaves or was that just one factor among others? (That debate – freeing the slaves versus getting the equipment they need to survive - does deserve some more analysis which I won’t get into here). We can only speculate as to whether that was the main reason for the breakup, or if other reasons presented themselves. Given what we do see with Mackson though, I wonder if Bryan and Miller were just too similar.

 Because I see some good yin and yang with Mackson. Miller’s words in 5 x 2 to Jackson give us a great clue: “You’re a healer, not a fighter. That’s why I love you.” So we can add up the ways Jackson and Miller’s differences complement each other:

1.    The fighter and the healer

2.    Miller’s sense of humor contrasted with Jackson’s seriousness (Miller gets a rare smile out of Jackson in 4 X 9 during their scene in the rover)

3.    Miller’s impulsiveness contrasted with Jackson’s clinical detachment

4.    Possibly their age gap as well, with Jackson’s maturity being a plus for Miller. Remember that Miller’s father dies at the end of Season 4, right at the time that Mackson is taking off. I doubt Miller views Jackson as a father-figure in any way, but I do think Jackson’s maturity and ability to deal with other people’s pain provided a lot of balm for Miller. This experience had to have helped bond them.

 But for a relationship to work, the partners can’t be too different. There have to be similarities too. Here are some Mackson ones:

1.    They grew up with love. Miller’s dad and Jackson’s mom (whom we know less about, but we can infer a lot given the impact she made on his life) showed them love.

2.    This trait is usually viewed as a negative, but the truth is that both Miller and Jackson are followers, not leaders. Miller follows whoever is their military leader (Bellamy, Octavia, etc) and Jackson follows Abby. Being a follower carries stigma, but the flip side of that coin is that both are very loyal. And maybe it means they are smart survivors, knowing that if you want to stay alive, it can’t hurt to hitch your wagon to an alpha.

3.    Both are driven. Miller knows he made a mistake on the Ark, and he worked his butt off to survive on the ground and prove himself a valuable solider. And there’s no need to reiterate how driven and self-motivated Jackson must be in order to devote his life to healing.

4.    Every single character on The 100 has made morally questionable choices, and I need to point out that Mackson are no different. Even Jackson was willing to experiment on “Baylis” in Season 4, and was about to do so to Emori. You can see the agony in his eyes, but we do not get any lines of dialog to indicate that he spoke out or offered himself in their places (which Abby would never have accepted). They both have to live with their demons and their regrets like every other character on the show.

  Here’s something I wish I knew more about:  When Mackson first gets together, they were facing – as Miller quips – “fiery death in five days”. Their relationship could’ve easily been a fling and nothing more – just one last sexual encounter before the world ends, perhaps? I wonder when it became more, or whether it was always intended to be more than a fling. The next time we see them together, the five days have passed, Praimfaya is upon us, and they are clearly a couple (as we see in 4 x 12 – there are SO many looks and touches, including an unexplained, secret hand gesture, the type of move done by intimate couples). Did they have in-depth conversations to discuss what might happen if they both somehow survived Praimfaya? I can definitely see Jackson being the type who would want to think about and discuss this. Or did they realize that there was a good chance that one or both of them wouldn’t make it, and thus tacitly decide that the topic was just too painful to discuss? Maybe they just took the approach of living for the moment and hoping for the best? (And next, of course, would come the moment that they woke up from the gas and had to face the fact that Miller’s dad wasn’t chosen, and they would have to process that).  

 Also I wish I knew more about what prompted Jackson to make the first move. I suspect some fans view him as passive, given his interactions with Abby, his quiet demeanor. So I will always love the fact that he made the first move. Was it motivated solely by Praimfaya? Did Abby at some point tell Jackson that Miller was single now and that he should approach Miller? Was it something that Jackson had quietly wanted to do for a while? (Maybe he noticed Miller even back when Bryan was still a thing). Had Miller been giving him a few signals to let him know that he was open to something? Was Jackson lonely and just wanting to reach a deeper connection (whether it be sex or a relationship) with another human being, especially given what they were facing in Season 4? Or some combination of the above?

 No way of knowing this glimpse of their past, but I look forward to their future.

I love Sarek. But he’s really not that great.

Sarek and Amanda are my favorite couple, not just in Star Trek, but ever. I’ve written more than half a million words of fanfiction about them. I’ve watched episodes featuring them so many times I secretly worry Netflix will put me on blast.

But I am not a Sarek apologist.

I’m pretty sure what draws most people to this couple is the age-old romantic notion that opposites may attract but the power of love can overcome anything. Cue cheesy instrumental music and a torrid kiss in the rain at a train station. I imagine a lot of women see themselves in Amanda, a seemingly regular woman with a regular life. Then they see a successful guy like Sarek, a dude who’s physically fit, well-educated, powerful, and absurdly intelligent, and it’s only natural that a recipe for hotness is born.

Because I’ve devoted literally years to dreaming up various ways this couple might have shacked up and vomiting the results all over AO3, I’ve also been forced to examine the personalities of both characters in great detail, and the only consistent conclusion I come to is fanon (myself included) gets it wrong most of the time.

Their marriage can’t have always been smooth sailing. If you’re not willing to believe me, then believe Amanda. 

Oh sure, there are tons of one-shots where they have little spats, but they almost always end with both of them making heart eyes at each other and jumping into bed. I get that Star Trek originated in the 1960s, but that doesn’t mean Sarek and Amanda had one of those “golly gee” wholesome relationships that could put Ward and June Cleaver to shame. 

Whichever version of Sarek you personally subscribe to, be it Mark Lenard, Ben Cross, or James Frain, it’s entirely possible to find the actors attractive but still think the character of Sarek could use some improvement. It’s also possible to love a character and admire their good qualities while being disappointed in their shortcomings. Maybe it makes me a shitty fangirl. Maybe it makes me realistic.

Literally decades of fanfiction and fan art have polished over Sarek’s unprettier bits, often portraying him as a hopeless romantic, a tender lover, a devoted father, and a man fiercely dedicated to his wife. I’m not going to argue each of those is patently false—hell, as a fanfiction writer, I’ve bought into some of those tropes myself—but I think some are truer than others. Let’s examine the canon.  

When we first meet him in “Journey to Babel,” he’s callous and aloof. He’s Vulcan, I get it, more on that later. But seriously, the guy has a habit of summoning his wife and acts like he doesn’t even know his own damn son. No one should be standing up to enthusiastically applaud and hand the man a husband or father-of-the-year trophy. Even Amanda seems pretty resigned to the arrangement.

I already know what the pushback to this assertion will be. He’s Vulcan! You can’t judge a Vulcan by human standards! Well, his wife is human and one of his sons is half-human, so I would argue that it should at least be an option, but I wrote a whole other essay on Star Trek’s moral relativism problem. 

Long story short, Star Trek glosses over a lot of moral and ethical dilemmas by using the argument, “Who are we to judge a culture we’re not part of?” I can’t answer that, but I will say someone once gave me a great piece of advice that I think applies to this idea of moral relativism: no person’s belief is inherently worthy of respect, but every person is. Maybe to understand Sarek as a person, we should look first at Sarek as a Vulcan.

Obviously Sarek subscribes to Vulcan philosophy, and while Vulcan philosophy seems pure as hell with its pacifism and its belief in embracing Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations (IDIC), I’m going to assert the Vulcan adherence to that philosophy seems to be a little lunch counter in nature. Yes, they take two scoops of resting bitch face and they’ll pass on the extra helping of tolerance. Sarek hails from a culture that is ostensibly exclusionary, sexist, and xenophobic in its practices.

When we encounter Vulcans in Enterprise, they’re people who mock humans for being too volatile, go to war with their Andorian neighbors, and aggressively purge the Syrranites for wanting to get back to the true meaning of Surak. But you might say, but that was before the Federation! They got better when they put T’Pau in charge.

Really? When we meet them next in the chronological timeline in Discovery, they’re telling Sarek they’ll only admit one of his weird social science pet projects (or as Sarek calls them, his kids) to the Vulcan Expeditionary Group.

In the Discovery episode “Light and Shadows,” Amanda reveals that Spock had a learning disability as a young child, which clearly embarrassed Sarek. Sadder still? Amanda explains there didn’t seem to be any educators on Vulcan willing to help a half-Vulcan child with a human learning disability. 

In the alternate timeline, when Spock applies to the Vulcan Science Academy, the admissions folks give him a pat on the back for achieving so much, despite his great disadvantage of having a human mom. Replace the word “human” with any religious, racial, or ethnic group, and see how you still feel about that sentence. 

Yes, Vulcans have racists and nationalists just like the rest of us and it doesn’t seem like they’re a rare breed either. Sarek is clearly attempting to be a better Vulcan, so kudos to him. However, not being an overt racist is not synonymous with sainthood. 

It’s pretty obvious throughout canon that while Sarek loves his wife, he’s uncomfortable with humanity, and he’s doubly perplexed with the humanity she imparted in their son. She even directly accuses him of never truly respecting humanity, to which he replies:

Which, let’s be honest, sounds like the rough equivalent of the “I can’t be racist because I have a black friend” defense. So many things in canon point to Sarek being utterly baffled by humans, not cutely intrigued by them as so often seen in fanon. The only time Spock and Sarek seem chummy with each other is when they’re mocking Amanda’s human emotionalism in “Journey to Babel.” Whether or not he meant to (and he definitely meant to), Sarek raised a son who saw his human half as a thing to be overcome.

Discovery has also hammered a lot of nails into the affectionate father coffin. Up until the final episode in season 1, he never called Michael his daughter and instead referred to her as his ward. It’s nice that he finally got over that technical distinction, but it doesn’t exactly conjure up the image of him tucking her into bed and giving her a kiss on the forehead.

He seems to accept her humanity because, well, she is human, but his own son’s humanity isn’t ok? Not like it matters, because his plan was to mold Michael into a Vulcan-like human anyway, which is pretty weird when you think about it. At one point, Michael tells Sarek she knows he must have considered the effect a Vulcan education and lifestyle might have on a human child, but she wants to know what he wanted Spock to learn from the experience of having a human sibling. His reply?

Which is... nice? He doesn’t say the only reason he took Michael in was for her to be his son’s empathy tutor, but he does essentially admit he was worried Spock was becoming too much of a momma’s boy. So the theory that Sarek was just scooping up orphans all over the galaxy like some kind of Vulcan Angelina Jolie doesn’t seem accurate. It gives the distinct impression that even Sarek thought of his hodge-podge brood as an experiment, at least to a degree.

Now, some may argue that Sarek never told Spock that he had to follow Surak’s teachings, which is true-ish. But that’s like telling a kid, “You don’t have to believe in Jesus” and then sending them to a Christian school in the heart of the Bible belt. What decision did he imagine his son would choose when he decided to raise him on Vulcan and stand by when other kids beat him up for not being Vulcan enough?

Seriously, Spock was almost guaranteed to turn out one of two ways: either he would just try harder to out-Vulcan everyone, which he did, or he would give logic the middle finger, which, well, is the option Sybok chose to run with. 

Despite fanfiction and fanart imagining him as this really hands-on parent who changes diapers and decorates baked goods (yes, I wrote a story like this and I’m calling myself out), he admits he’s the kind of dad who works late in the evenings, not the kind that reads stories at bedtime. 

It’s also no secret that as a parent, Sarek holds grudges. In “Journey to Babel,” Amanda confesses that Sarek and Spock haven’t spoken as father and son for eighteen years. In “Brother,” Michael asks Sarek when the last time he spoke to Spock was and he concedes it’s been years. In “Light and Shadows,” he’s clearly [Vulcan] pissed that Amanda is harboring a fugitive, who also just so happens to be his own son.

Is Sarek just that logical that he believes in justice even at a high personal price, or is he embarrassed that his own estranged son has been accused of murder and appears to be in the clutches of a mental breakdown? As far as I can tell, it might just be a little bit of both. 

Then there’s the idea that Sarek is a caring and devoted husband. Is there actually any evidence for this in canon, other than he was married to Amanda and had a family with her? Lots of people are married and have kids and don’t have a relationship that would rival that annoying couple on This is Us. 

Their relationship doesn’t seem like an equal partnership based on compromise, but rather one where Sarek does what he damn well pleases and Amanda follows along as a dutiful wife. 

Amanda gave up a lot of things to be with him: her home, her culture, and potentially even her own son’s well-being. The woman went to extremes for love not even witnessed on the Bachelor, and why?

In some contexts, that sounds like the powerful kind of love and devotion that epic-poems would be based on. In other contexts, it sounds almost like a pathological self-martyrdom. Did Sarek ever fully appreciate her sacrifices? It’s hard to say, but if he did, I doubt he ever voiced his appreciation. 

In his later years, when Sarek is losing his mind due to an age-related degenerative disease and he mind melds with Captain Picard, he tearfully muses (as Picard), “Amanda. I wanted to give you so much more. I wanted to show you such tenderness. But that is not our way. Spock? Amanda? Did you know?”

He's strongly implying he never told Amanda he loved her out loud. I’m sure he did love her, but it hardly bodes well for the idea that he’s a flowers and handmade cards kind of guy. And as for the notion that behind closed doors, he and Amanda had a super intimate relationship that would make even characters in Harlequin romance novels swoon, please, point me to an episode that makes you think that. I will watch it every day for the rest of my life. 

In summary, between his first chronological appearance in Discovery to his death in The Next Generation, Sarek had a lot of improving to do as a person and we see evidence that he most certainly did. He came to accept Michael as his daughter. He started speaking to Spock again after wrecking his childhood and turning him over to Section 31. Even though it clearly exasperated the hell out of him, he occasionally gave into his wife’s emotional needs. 

But that’s still a pretty far cry away from galaxy’s best father, husband, or lover. I think that’s what draws me to this couple so much. Sarek and Amanda didn’t live happily ever after: they did the best they could and made it work, just like the rest of us non-fictional losers. 

What little we have of canon depicts them as a couple who likely got married before they really knew each other, probably should have spent their first few years of marriage in counseling, eventually figured one another out enough to raise three kids who could all probably benefit from some therapy, and loved each other no matter what, even if it wasn’t out loud.

Building a city: two warring factions

Quick note before we get started: my inbox is open! Feel free to send any TTRPG writing questions you have, either adventure writing, or even character backstory writing! Include as many details as you can. Obviously tumblr asks have a character limit, so feel free to send multiple if you need to.

Now let's get into it! The setting today is going to be a generic mid-size city in a D&D fantasy world like Faerun.

The goal of this reading is to develop two opposing factions, and an NPC leader/figurehead for each. I think this is a cool way to quickly flesh out a city and make it feel alive, and gives the players plenty of RP hooks and decisions for how they want to engage (even beyond siding with one faction against the other).

Faction 1

Archetype: The World — What an interesting card for this! The World represents, well, everything. But it also represents "the right path," or perfection. When I say this, my mind immediately jumped to Library (can you tell I was a book nerd growing up)? Specifically, the uptight over-influential library which rigorously guards its hidden knowledge. Right now, I'm going to leave it at that, rather than deciding any additional details about what kind of library it is, what kind of hidden knowledge, etc. I'm going to let the rest of the cards flesh that out.

Motivation: Three of Cups — This is perfect. Cups represents divine magic, and the three represents a minor force, defender of the commonfolk. So it's a religious library, devoted to helping the poor. Remember, we don't want one faction to be obviously better than the other, because we want the players to have a meaningful choice of which faction to side with (or none). We'll avoid making this faction too "good" then.

Fear: Ten of Wands — The ten of wands traditionally represents being overloaded, carrying a heavy burden alone. Meanwhile, the ten of wands with our D&D specific matrix represents a minor tyrant of arcane nature. The traditional meaning is pretty clear: the library is carrying (or at least, thinks they're carrying) the heavy burden of helping the poor all alone. For the tyrant, let's say that represents the Lord in charge of the town. This Lord has a traditionally arcane background (a wizard turned politician) and maybe has a reputation of being aloof. The library is worried that this Lord doesn't care about the poor, and that the library is the only organization in the city that does. This is a great opportunity to make the library a little less clear-cut "good:" it quickly becomes apparent to the players that actually, there are other organizations helping the poor, but since they aren't religious organizations, the library ignores their contributions.

NPC Lead: Ten of Pentacles — Pentacles is our traditionally nature-y suit. And as above, the ten represents a petty tyrant. That works fine for our purposes. The Head Librarian is also a High Priest(ess) of a traditional nature god. Strict and controlling, the Head Librarian leads the library with an iron first. However... the traditional meaning of the ten of pentacles is wealth, relaxed nature, a happy and peaceful life, etc. So let's add a little twist to our Head Librarian: yes, they may be a tyrant, yes they may be overly controlling and rigid, and but on a more personal level, they're also fun and cheerful. There's a reason so many people follow them.

Overall, I've got a pretty clear picture of faction 1 now. They're a religious library that also does significant charitable outreach, but are incredibly pretentious about it and believe that they're the only ones actually helping the poor because they're the only ones that follow [insert nature god here]. If I ended up needing it, I could also throw in an environmental cause here as well, but I think that's unnecessary for now.

Faction 2

Archetype: Ace of Wands — Well, isn't this interesting. The wands represents an arcane force, which is perfect. Now we have a classic priests vs. wizards conflict on our hands. The part that's interesting is the ace. The ace in our number definitions represents the common people, the innocent. How I'm interpreting this is as an underground backyard magic guild. Essentially, a group of hedgewitches. And, most importantly, these hedgewitches are largely part of the very group that the library is devoted to helping. Very, very interesting.

Motivation: Four of Swords — This is excellent, actually. I'm going to pick and choose which meanings I use here, because the second I saw this card I had a cool idea. I'm going to take the swords to represent martial combat, and the traditional meaning of this card, which is a forced pause. The city, led by the former wizard Lord, has a habit of getting into armed conflict with its neighbors. While not full out war, there is routinely bloodshed and the city maintains a fully armed garrison at all times. The group of hedgewitches, however, is sick and tired of this. Maybe they've seen too many of their friends and family die for nothing, or maybe they oppose the fact that their city is the aggressor in these conflicts. Either way, they want it to stop, and they're willing to go to extreme lengths to do so.

Fear: Four of Wands — Ooh, this is cool. The repeated theme of wands throughout this reading is very interesting. I'm going to take the suit to represent the Lord of the city, the former wizard. I love this, because the hedgewitches have the same fear as the library: the Lord of the city! Albeit in a slightly different way. The four of wands represents holidays, joyful welcoming, safe places, etc. While the four represents an idealist or a dreamer. This one is a little tough: I know the fear relates to the Lord of the city, but being welcome with joy isn't exactly something to be afraid of. Let's make this more literal: there's a major holiday coming up, and the Lord is secretly-not-so-secretly planning a huge attack. The hedgewitches are NOT joyful about that at all.

NPC Lead: The Fool — Incredible. Since the hedgewitches are a more underground organization, their NPC lead is really more of a figurehead. Plans are made collaboratively, in cellars and backrooms with small groups of people, rather than unilaterally from the top. However, there is someone who's defacto in charge: someone on the younger side, with their head in the clouds. Someone who's still idealistic and thinks that they can change the world, who sees opportunities behind every corner. I think this person is in charge because of their ability to inspire others, even though the more senior hedgewitches don't have a lot of respect for this upstart. But being able to unite hedgewitches, obviously a very disparate group, is an impressive skill just by itself.

I love this faction. I was heavily inspired by the hedgewitches in the Magicians books and tv show, by the way. I see them as arcane casters united together under a "magic is for the people" ethos.

The Conflict

Surface Issue: Ten of Swords — Lots of tens today. This card represents a sudden end, or badmouthing people behind their back. Yeah, that works perfectly. The library is badmouthing the hedgewitches because they're arcane casters, rather than religious followers, and the hedgewitches hate the library because they see them as in the pocket of the military industrial complex— I mean, the Lord of the city, and assume the library is badmouthing them because the library supports the military conflicts. So at first glance, the conflict appears to come from members shit-talking members of the opposite faction.

Deeper Issue: King of Wands — This is so, so perfect. Right now, we have two factions. Or do we? The third faction is the Lord of the city, the one who's pushing all these military conflicts. There could be some very interesting reasons why he's doing that, and I could draw a card to flesh that out, but I think that would be a perfect place to tie in a campaign villain. Maybe the Lord is in the pocket of the BBEG and is acquiring resources for them. Anyway, back to the card: King of Wands so clearly represents the Lord. I interpret this as meaning that the Lord themselves is pushing this conflict. Maybe they're aware of the hedgewitches, and are worried about any anti-war propaganda that's spreading, so they manipulated the library into putting a target on the hedgewitches' backs. The more those two factions are fighting between themselves, the less time they'll spend pushing back against the Lord's own ominous agenda.

Roadblock: Six of Wands — Honestly, I could've stopped with the previous card. We've got a great and interesting conflict brewing here, and already I can see many plot hooks and side quests and ways the players could get pulled into the politics of this city. However, I already laid out the cards, so let's finish it off. The six of wands represents victory. I'm going to keep this simple: the Lord recently led the city in a small but significant military victory against a nearby group, and the people are proud of themselves and celebrating. It's hard to push anti-war propaganda when things are actually going well, isn't it? And the Lord can use this new-found popularity to push the two factions harder against each other.

Risk: Queen of Swords — I'm using this part of the reading to outline the consequences of this issue between the two factions not being resolved. But I think we've already got some great ideas from everything above, so I'm going to keep this simple: the Queen in question is the BBEG, or the BBEG's main lieutenant, and if the Lord is able to continue their work unchecked, then the BBEG will absolutely benefit. Maybe the Lord is taking over a mining operation, or has stolen magical artifacts from nearby cities, but the result is the same: the villain is getting stronger every day that this Lord remains unchecked.

Overall, I love what we've created here. Obviously, bits and pieces need to be fleshed out. NPCs need names and maybe stat blocks. I'd nab a city map from somewhere as well and incorporate that into the city. I'd also probably use a tavern/shop generator to quickly add some places to visit, and actually I'd use a simple location spread to add a few points of interest into the city as well. Then you just need a few side quest hooks, and you can let your players loose. I'm definitely picturing this as an open-world city adventure, rather than a linear story, where the players can do a few small quests for each faction and learn more about the issues. Then drop a major conflict event that forces the two factions to act in some way— maybe the Lord mobilizes the military against the hedgewitches, or maybe the Head Librarian is killed (by accident?). I would hold off planning that though until the players had had at least a session or two to explore the city, maybe even more. There's definitely a great opportunity for this major triggering event to come in response to the players fucking up a side quest.

OK, well I want to ask for your view on this: do the swords have human bodies or not? (I don't think they do, but I want to hear others' opinion.)

I think they do in a sense, though theymay not have the same capabilities or limitations that humans do. The show sofar shows the Toudan capable of leaping large spaces, (flat out roof topjumping like spidermanXD) and of course having enough physical power to fightinhuman opponents. However, they also need to be healed when harmed. Unlike some magicalcreatures or even ‘game characters’ which can regain health over time oncebattle has passed, this game seems to remove that common trait and leave thetoudan injured until their saniwa heals/repairs them.

Themethod on the game screen is reminiscent of how blades themselves are kept.Though in the anime right at episode one we can see the process is more normalto having human injuries treated. It’s up in the air for now if the secondseries will express their repair process as metaphorical, literal, or a mixtureof the two.

As for other things, Toudan seem to need food,and sleep, they bathe when they get dirty, and of course bled when injured, andseem capable of getting drunk. Heck they can even get stomach poisoning apparently as it is seen in episode (6) of hanamaru- though they upchuck...sparkles? (this is either a joke or litteral OwO;;;)  The anime devotes a good portion of time toexpress the structure of their headquarters and all the necessities it providesto them. It’s also shown in the show at least that “some” injures/changes totheir physical bodies could be permanent- such as when Yasusada’s hair getting clipped in battle, but DID not revert even after he recovered, so Kashuu gives him the hairclip for his “clipped” bangs. Also their appearance can change entirely by choice, they are not stick in a particular rayment all the time. They get sleep clothes, work clothes, fun clothes, silly outfits ect. 

On the other hand neither the show norgame has expressed any major changes for extensive amounts of time. No timeskips longer than a year in the anime, and the game isn’t that old is it? (mindyou, players join all the time so how much time has passed for the user base ispurely subjective). So we don’t know if the swords physical bodies age or not. Thereare plenty of head canon theories who think they don’t or can’t, but just asmany think that it is possible as well. It’s also possible maybe it’s a mixture of thetwo again- a lot of the physical characteristic lend me to think at the veryleast they might be a form of “super”- human. So maybe they could age slowly. Can’t be sure for certain. 

Mentally; I think it’s pretty self-explanatory- they are swords brought to “life”.

  The toudan mental state is quite facinating.

They  “consider”themselves just swords, but that doesn’tmean that the way they view themselves is necessarily accurate, or even right. There isIS however a very fitting aesthetic going on that is comparable to how Samurai saw themselvesunder the rule of their master.

 There’s a parallel I think the series is makinghere. 

Each sword has the potencial of having a rather complex personality as well. The toudan danshi clearly have some level of empathy and care connectedto their pasts and historical events, and this impact shapes quite a bit oftheir persona.

 Like Yasusada’s feeling towards his previous owner ( hisrelationship reminds me of someone’s affections towards a diseased loved onethey shared their final moments with. Like my Dad with my grampa as he diedslowly from Alzheimers.) Sayo is heavy traumatized by the events regarding theusage of his blade, and the same goes for Imanotsurugi and others. Some haveself-esteem complexes based on their make. Now while not as evident in thegame, the show does seem to lend itself to imply that these complexes can beaddressed and worked on. This is another thing that lends me to believe they dohave more in common with humans then just objects that can now walk and talk. They show the potencial of adapability and character progression. To qupte Shokudaikiri Mitsutada  - “ I’ve always longed for something more, I can’t just fight all the time.” (english dub) “ I’ve always wanted to try doing something other than fighting.” (Japanese Dub)

So while I don’t think they are EXACTLY the same as humanbeings, I don’t think they are just objects with human shapes anymore either.So maybe a kind of super-human, yes.

Hyperallergic: The Earth as a Dump and Refuge

The opening lines of the title poem in Douglas Crase’s first book, The Revisionist, played on the promise of an almost inconceivable imaginative strength:

If I could raise rivers, I’d raise them Across the mantle of our past: old headwaters Stolen, oxbows high and dry while new ones form, A sediment of history rearranged. If I could unlock The lakes, I’d spill their volume over the till I know you cultivate: full accumulations swept away, The habit of prairies turned to mud. If I had glaciers, I’d carve at the stony cliffs of your belief: Logical mountains lowered notch by notch, erratics Dropped for you to stumble on. Earthquakes, and I’d Seize your experience at its weakest edge: leveled Along a fault of memories.

As sheer promise, this was electrifying. But what’s incredible is that the poem, and the book as a whole, came through on that promise. To take on geography in this way, to take on history with such assurance — nothing in American poetry since Paterson had dared so much and achieved it. All the more astonishing that Crase was doing this in what was simultaneously a form of love poetry, as became clear at the conclusion of that catalogue of Herculean tasks:

When these were done, I’d lay around your feet In endless fields where you could enter and belong, A place returning and a place to turn to whole

An amorous submission to the conquered beloved, but is it to that recalcitrant country, America itself, or a living and breathing individual? Let each reader decide. John Ashbery was right: “Crase looks at the city and the landscape with the amused, disabused eye of a lover.” But equally, he looked at love with the eye of a visionary historian.

This book, first published in 1981, was clearly going to be the start of one of the great careers in contemporary poetry. But years slipped by as Crase’s admirers awaited the next collection. None appeared. Finally, in 1996, a second book arrived, but not a collection of poems. Instead, the curiously titled AMERIFIL.TXT: A Commonplace Book was, as the subtitle indicated, an anthology of passages from the eighteenth through the twentieth centuries “on the nature of the American character,” grouped under headings such as “Doing Your Thing” and “The Common Defense.” A very different book followed in 2004: Both: A Portrait in Two Parts, a dual biography of Dwight Ripley and Rupert Barneby, a couple whose lives bridged the worlds of art and botany in the American Southwest and the New York of the Abstract Expressionists. Among the smaller works that Crase has published since then, I should mention in particular a long and magisterial essay on Lorine Niedecker in the 2013 Wave Books edition of her Lake Superior.

By then, more than 30 years after The Revisionist, even Crase’s heartiest admirers had long since given up on seeing a second collection of his poems. There had been time enough to reason ourselves all the way from denial to acceptance: On considered thought, The Revisionist having in itself fulfilled its promise, stands as a complete body of work, entire in itself, that does not require continuation. No “career” necessary. Crase owed us nothing further and we should be content with what we got.

So the sudden appearance of a small new book of poems by Crase, The Astropastorals, might raise hasty hopes among some devoted readers who’d made themselves forget they had any such hopes. And how suggestive a title, auguring, it might seem, a transcendence of the poet’s sublunary concerns with rivers, sediment, glaciers, cliffs and the rest for an even larger perspective, one that’s cosmic in scale. But such transcendence is far from Crase’s aim. The title pans out, but in a way that in retrospect should not surprise those familiar with the canny feints and sly indirections that have always characterized his writing. His remit is no longer national but terrestrial.

The book’s 18 pages of poetry comprise 13 poems of which we are told that “the earliest, ‘Once the Sole Province,’ appeared in 1979,” while “the last to appear, ‘Astropastoral,’ was published in 2000.” Crase doesn’t say, one way or another, but one can only presume that this is the sum total of the poetry he has written (to his publishable satisfaction) since those he collected in The Revisionist — and nota bene, none of it composed in this century.

So the book is slender, but the writing’s density gives it the fullness of almost anyone else’s thick tome. And the poetry’s reach is enormous, counting (per “Once the Sole Province”) on the intimation:

That outside ourselves there be a scale more vast, Time free of whimsy, an endless unbended reach In which to recollect our planet, our hours, and ourselves.

But how to keep the whole planet and one’s own little self in view simultaneously? The pretense to having achieved a planetary consciousness might amount to a sort of gentrification of the spirit, or so Crase implies in “Dog Star Sale”: Those who “freely take up / A volitional duty to curate the spheres” can’t so easily separate themselves from the common run of humanity who remain “All involved on the earth with your chores of pollution.” Or, as Crase puts it in that poem’s sequel, “Sale II”:

All this could be mine […] this live indecision Some tend to call As if they knew what to compare it to Life on the earth

Crase remains committed, for what it’s worth, to what he calls “that horizon / Of which I am witness and not the one farther on” (“True Solar Holiday” ), that of “a world agog / With its own gravity” (“To the Light Fantastic”). In this poetry, where conclusions are rare and usually asymptotic at best, and where “All things are wild / In the service of objects toward which they verge,” as “Refuge,” the poem that closes the collection, would have it, the only conclusion that seems sure is the one that closes that poem and the book as a whole, namely that:

Life lifts from, it Harries the ground, and the study a species Must turn to is that earth Where the dump and the refuge are relations under the sun.

But however indispensable to the reviewer’s task, the isolation of an easily paraphrasable statement is at odds with the poetry’s essential motion. The sinuously twining, constantly self-revising syntax of The Revisionist, deviously seductive, in fact, was already an instrument of an almost confounding intricacy, the obliquity of whose bearing could be all the more shocking thanks to the impression of immense rhetorical certainty it delivered — that undeniable accent on the poem’s absolute ability to “raise rivers” and “seize […] experience at its weakest edge,” despite the careful hedging of a hedging preliminary “if.”

The language of the poems in The Astropastorals has become even knottier, more elliptical, open to bewildering swerves and jump cuts; after many rereadings I’m still stymied by the first half of “Once the Sole Province,” I have to admit. In “Theme Park,” Crase reflects on the troubled relationship of poetry to what’s sometimes called its content, starting with what might sound like a formalist’s position:

Too much of a subject can interfere, Be a drag, so subvert the procedure to which it refers That the wisest course is to visit it just for fun, Have fun, and make a clean getaway—

But to take that at face value would be to ignore the curious grammatical gap between the second and the third lines, which can only be resolved by the realization that the “procedure” to be subverted is precisely the one that calls for a disinterestedly playful quick dip (“to visit it just for fun”) into a subject that would otherwise turn out to be “too much.” Finally, Crase seems to agree with Roland Barthes, who said that a little formalism turns one away from history but a lot of it brings you right back there, since:

More deeply recessed and peacefuller Still, the substantive structures themselves Are seen meeting their needs in scale: shops, Ammo dumps, taverns, and houses of prayer.

The Astropastorals, at minimum, serves as a reminder that the history we are brooks no conclusion, so that it remains in continual need of revisionists (and therefore of The Revisonist). Crase’s first book is not, after all, a closed case, a done deal. We still need him. Some savvy publisher should bring The Revisionist back into print and append to it the poems now made available in The Astropastorals, in what is presumably a small edition fated to be quickly sold out. And then we can ask the poet when to expect a collection of his work of the 21st century. Who knows, maybe that future poetry will find its root in the added surprise this collection offers in the form of the several brief, untitled, rhymed poems that punctuate it? One of them glosses, in a different way, the more-than-formalism that “Theme Park” seems to call for:

A reductionism that makes the world complex, a truth that simply nothing can explain, is how events curled up in space when seen are scattering.

The Astropastorals (2017) is published by Pressed Wafer and is available from Amazon and other online booksellers.

The post The Earth as a Dump and Refuge appeared first on Hyperallergic.

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From Farm To Fork

Disney has by no means been one to restrict its ambitions, and there's no higher proof of this than Chris Buck and Jennifer Lee's Frozen - the studio's newest fairytale characteristic. And it is third time another charm as Frozen confirms his expertise for creating likeable characters and placing them - and the viewers - through the wringer, generating the kind of suspense his inspirations John Landis and John Carpenter can now solely dream of. Actually, essentially the most disappointing aspect of the entire affair is the Oscar-nominated Mickey Mouse brief, Get a Horse” which is available on the release and accompanied the film in theaters. In order for you a great movie for the entire household, please move on to Khumba or Balto or Rio. For the horror fan boys and girls, you will enjoy the cameos by Adam Inexperienced, Joe Lynch, and Kane Hodder. When Kristoff protests that Anna is fortunately engaged, the Trolls blank him so arduous the animators don't have to draw any surroundings for the remainder of the film. SPOILER Whereas not an ideal allegory, Elsa strikes Anna in the head within the opening sequences of this movie. Frozen Fever already launched a new look for Elsa and Anna, so count on another one completely for Frozen 2. I've written and re-written this review several times now, each time attempting to precisely convey my ideas on Disney's ice-certain flick, though these ideas aren't all that clear and my muddled mind appears intent on making this task more durable than it ought. FROZEN is a somewhat tedious thriller about three college buddies who find themselves trapped on a ski chair elevate with the resort shutting down, leaving them to frostbite and wolves. In case your a horror or psychological thriller fan then this a film which must be on your want listing. I jumped straight to the rating as I don't need anything spoilt because I will in all probability watch it quickly.

It is not an awesome start to a evaluate however I honestly think Frozen is a hugely artistic horror thriller, when director Adam Inexperienced was shooting it I bet there wasn't a single angle shot within the compressed surroundings through which the story is set that he didn't capture on digicam. Positively the most effective YouTube videos to return out of 2014, a genius dog proprietor determined to decorate his devoted hound up as a mutant spider and unleash it on the unsuspecting residents of… wherever it's he lives. I loved the film and while I wouldn't name it the finest Disney animated movie, I would nonetheless say it deserves the love and attention it will get, mainly because of it is awesome soundtrack. Disney has already mapped out its schedules for 2017 and 2018 (initiatives including life-action versions of Magnificence and the Beast and Mulan, animated originals Coco and Gigantic, and sequels to Wreck-It Ralph, Cars and The Incredibles), and Frozen 2 ain't on 'em. My dissatisfaction with the movie revolves on its reasonably meager sisterhood story. Sugar acts like a natural antifreeze of their our bodies, allowing them to spend the winter frozen after which resume function in the spring. Overall, it is a one note premise, where the characters, caught up on a elevate, have nowhere to go and quite fittingly the movie in turn, goes nowhere. Epcot guests can add a cease in Arendelle as of June 21.

That's the day the Frozen Ever After journey will open, Walt Disney World announced. On the one hand, the movie shares many typical story parts with other Disney movies. The movie showed off Disney's would possibly as an animation maestro, and sales of Frozen merchandise will clearly fill Disney's coffers. This took some time, but it surely appears I've lastly discovered the weird trigger: The issue apparently happens solely when watching 1080p and / or 60FPS movies. Frozen is the perfect vacation film for all the family and is launched at the excellent time of the yr to coincide with winter within the Northern Hemisphere and give the Southern Hemisphere a style of winter over the holiday break. What a merciless joke if you happen to ask your child in the event that they need to watch Frozen and this performs. For me, it is still a reasonably good film for little girls, and adults who just want just a little bit of fun.