#however much it wasn’t her fault she caused harm and it’s complicated and i think cassie is handling it really well actually | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ironwoodprotectionsquad · 2 years

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I have....thoughts and questions about this post. First question is, how is the statement “Eh it’s not a black and white situation.” hateful in any way? Given the reply above this person definitely had the right to give a longer response and rebut some of the nonsense in it but this person just politely disagrees and leaves it at that. But somehow that is “harassment” and “hate” and it’s misogynist to simply disagree and think a situation is far more complicated then presented. And the issue is, the situation is very complicated and not so black and white. You’re the one insisting its misogyny to not like a female character rather then accept the MALE writers of the show can’t write female characters well.

Their is also just so much wrong in the reply from Reddit I don’t even know where to begin. First off how do they come to the conclusion that Robyn only started STEALING from James after the election? Nevermind the fact that they tried to pretend it wasn’t as bad as it was by using the word relieved instead of stealing, why else would Ruby, Penny, Clover and Qrow be on the trucks unless people where stealing the supplies. ALSO Robyn’s people where trying to sneak behind the truck while Robyn distracted everyone to STEAL THE SUPPLIES they only stop because Penny catches them and orders them to stop. She no, Robyn wasn’t just trying to figure out what was happening to the supplies, she was going to steal them BEFORE the election. And I hope they realize Robyn losing what for all intents and purposes appeared to be a fair election and deciding the proper response is to steal from the government isn’t good either right? Robyn also doesn’t just steal supplies, she steals them and then also gets supplies to stop even selling James anything to make up for the stolen goods which becomes all the more ridiculous because she says they have to stop selling to James until he repairs the city....how exactly does anyone expect him to repair anything if they cannot purchase any supplies to do so? Had things not happened the way they did a few weeks later Robyn would be screeching about how James is still refusing to repair the city despite her purposefully blocking him from getting any supplies.

Also gotta love how this user decided that exploding the mine was the game plan to launch the mines all along ignoring the fact that Amity wasn’t finished yet. And actually yes, a few truckloads COULD prevent the tower from being completed because the trucks are GOING to Amity because they are NEEDED to actually complete the damn thing. They wouldn’t bother sending it to the tower if it wasn’t needed for some reason. Even ONE truckload of stolen goods could delay the project for however long it took to replace said supplies depending on what is going on and by after election when no one is willing to sell anything anymore? She did stall the tower and cause it to be delayed in being complete. That is ENTIRELY Robyn’s fault for stealing supplies and then causing everyone to refuse to sell James anything further.

Talking about how poorly Robyn was written and how she was actively harming Atlas and Mantel with her actions is not Misogyny. It is not Misogyny in fact for a female to screw up. Robyn screwing up and causing harm because she didn’t know she was causing harm is an interesting scenario to explore. It could have been used to further the theme of trust and how important it is and could have been how RWBY realizes that James is making the mistakes he is because he just doesn’t know what he is doing is a bad idea. Instead of the cringe line about James “FiNaLlY” telling the truth being how he “Earned” the right to know the truth, despite them throwing the mother of all fits when they found out Ozpin lied by omission, have them realize how even though trust is hard and scary they need to trust so they can build a plan on how to defeat Salem together and united. Instead we get a cringy “Moral” that falls flate because of the mains former actions. James wasn’t “finally” telling the truth, he had been all along to the people he felt he safely could tell until Atlas was in a state that could handle the inevitable floor of grimm and fear that came along with the news.

The original comment was not hatefull or misogynist, it was an opinion from someone with critical thinking skills who watched the show and formed their own opinion. People can dislike female characters, they can think female characters are terrible people, or are assholes, or should not have been in the story. They can loath a female character with every fiber of their being and not by a misogynist because we are all human beings with emotions and thoughts and feelings and no person can be liked by every single person because people are different and that is okay. This poster wants woman to be help up on a pedestal which is actually extremely harmful.

#RWDE #Anti Robyn Hill #Robyn Hill Critical #Pro Ironwood #Pro James Ironwood #James Ironwood #General Ironwood #General Dadmiral #Dadmiral Ironwood

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seyaryminamoto · 3 years

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Do you think canon Zuko has any understanding of the idea of duty? That he, especially given that he aspires to political power, should act like his status as Prince gives him certain responsibilities? That doing what's best for the for Fire Nation or the world might require him to do things which make him unhappy or uncomfortable or require him to make grave personal sacrifices? Does he even understand duty as a concept?

Oof. Complicated questions, thus, this sat in my inbox for a veeeery long time.

I honestly, seriously, genuinely... don't think Zuko truly understood, at any point in canon, what it really meant to be a leader. I know many of us (and I think you, too?) don't particularly like the comics, but in my opinion, The Promise did a surprisingly decent job at highlighting several problems left in the wake of the end of the war, and perhaps unintentionally, this is one of the problems: upon becoming Fire Lord, Zuko is remarkably erratic, unsure of his choices, even seeking advice from his FATHER, of all people, because he has no idea what he's doing.

In the most favorable possible view of Iroh, he taught Zuko to be a better person. I don't entirely adscribe to this belief, but fine, let's concede that he did, or else this answer would never end: not just because you're a good person, however, are you guaranteed to be a good leader. Zuko, as we both know, is far from the best person in the world, and he is prone to making impulsive, emotional mistakes that can cause harm and trouble, and typically, Zuko doesn't face the consequences of most his actions, or the narrative just pins the blame on someone else. When we see this sort of behavior in a real-life politician, the immediate reaction we would have is "this guy is awful at his job", and sadly, I find myself thinking that quite often when it comes to Zuko's canon tenure as Fire Lord.

So... what is Zuko's concept of duty? Going by his pursuit of Aang in the first two seasons, duty is a task given to him by someone whose approval he seeks (in this case, Ozai) and he must pull it off, no matter what, to gain said approval. By Book 3, this logic still applies fairly easily to how Zuko acts over Iroh: I've highlighted in the past that the main motivation for Zuko's redemption is Iroh, doing right by Iroh, making amends to Iroh, regretting how he treated Iroh. He points that out explicitly in Ember Island Players, he does it as well indirectly by bringing up Iroh first of all, when confronting Ozai: this is his main priority. Ergo... I'd honestly say it's safe to judge that this is what Zuko regards as duty, as what he has to do. Iroh wants him to be Fire Lord? That's exactly what he becomes. The difficulties and complications in this particular line of work are taken for granted, and so, we have an outcome that was remarkably well depicted in The Promise, despite that comic's many glaring flaws: Zuko gets swept back and forth, twisted left and right by all the pressures and responsibilities, because he has no idea what he's doing as Fire Lord, and no idea/experience in how to be a real leader.

As far as I can tell, the core of the matter is that nobody really seems to have taken Zuko all that seriously as future Fire Lord. Ozai, evidently, wasn't training Zuko to be his personal heir. Ozai himself is a questionable source of information regarding learning what it means to be Fire Lord, considering he, as well, wasn't raised to take that role, just as he didn't raise Zuko for it. Yet Iroh didn't exactly teach Zuko how to lead anyone either, as far as I can tell: his lessons were meant to be of a more personal nature, and even then, Zuko had lots of trouble accepting most of them. Iroh's firebending lessons to Zuko were typically stunted in the basics because he was hot-headed and rash about getting to the intense and interesting stuff...

So: neither Ozai nor Iroh gave Zuko actual responsibilities. Ozai gave him a punishment Zuko was trying to endure however possible, a punishment he wanted to prove himself unworthy of by finding the Avatar and "regaining his honor". Then, Iroh punished Zuko as well by giving him the cold shoulder in Book 3, then he escaped and Zuko did everything he did, after betraying Ozai, to prove himself worthy of Iroh's kindness once again. It's not actual duty, the way it is in Azula's case: no doubt, Azula wants Ozai's approval too, but she has the madman's trust when it comes to finding her brother and uncle, to taking down the Avatar, and to conquering Ba Sing Se, as far as anyone can tell. I do doubt Ozai gave her all these missions at once, but he gave her the resources through which she pulled off ALL of them: she had the firebending procession, she had a ship, she had a train-tank, she had mounts... Zuko had a rundown ship that looked like a 1:10 scale version of every other ship in the harbor back in the very third episode: he was being punished. In contrast, Azula is entrusted with a mission, with LEADERSHIP, while Zuko has no visible, tangible, objective experience with the latter (consider how Azula steals the Dai Li's loyalty from under Long Feng: when did we see Zuko pulling off something like this? Even with Jet, Zuko was more of an associate to the Freedom Fighters, and Jet was still the leader).

I've always thought Zuko wasn't prepared to be Fire Lord, and the main reasons are the ones you indirectly point out through this ask: Zuko doesn't seem to treat the throne as a responsibility, but as his right. I won't get tired of pointing out that this was NOT Zuko's birthright, he was NOT born thinking he'd be Fire Lord: he was born to the second branch in the Fire Nation family. We literally SEE the day in which Lu Ten's death is revealed to him. According to somewhat official sources? He's ELEVEN in Zuko Alone's flashbacks. I, personally, think he looks a little younger than that, but I think that's the official wikia age, no idea where they got that info but that's what it says. Meaning...

Zuko, objectively, only had been crown prince for FIVE YEARS.

Zuko was NOT raised, not by his mother, not by his father, with the belief that the throne would one day be his (Ursa is gone before Ozai is crowned and Ozai clearly wanted Azula for the job rather than Zuko).

And yet, when you backtrack to the show? It seriously looks like that was the case. He clings to the throne in Books 1 and 2 as though he had no other purpose in life, as though this was everything that was promised to him (in contrast, Azula only ever indicates wanting the throne in Sozin's Comet: Part One). Even when he's an outlaw, discarded and cast out, he STILL talks about the throne, as though most his identity were built upon the notion that he must become Fire Lord: why? How come? Within five years, he's crafted his entire existence around being the heir to the throne? That's... a bit weird.

And a bit wishful, too. Which is why I commend that the comics show him struggling as Fire Lord, if anything they should've had him struggling MORE than that, because Zuko is simply NOT prepared for these responsibilities. He never gave any indication, any sign, of seeing it as such. He sees it as his right, his birthRIGHT. Why? Why more people don't ponder how utterly strange this behavior is, beats me. But it really does bother me that Zuko built his entire existence around being Fire Lord in a very similar way to how Korra built her own about being the Avatar. I have very little praise to give LOK in general, but the premise of Korra learning she was a person, a human, and not just the Avatar felt like the perfect parallel to Aang's story, where he was very much anchored in his humility and belief that he was just "one kid", and his rejection of his duties as the Avatar was meant to change gradually as he learned to accept himself as he was. Korra, however, never fully hit the mark with this subject, in my personal opinion... much as Zuko doesn't hit the mark either, since the show's only direct attempt to "deconstrue" Zuko's clinging to the throne happens in one dialogue, and his attachment to the idea is built up again, right afterwards:

Zuko: And then ... then you would come and take your rightful place on the throne? Iroh: No. Someone new must take the throne. An idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor. It has to be you, Prince Zuko. Zuko: Unquestionable honor? But I've made so many mistakes. Iroh: Yes, you have. You've struggled; you've suffered, but you have always followed your own path. You restored your own honor, and only you can restore the honor of the Fire Nation. Zuko: I'll try, Uncle.

And there we have it. The only point in the show (that I can remember) where Zuko seemed to not feel worthy of the throne and questioned he should be the one sitting on it (RIGHTFULLY!), buuuuuuuut he goes right back to wanting it, right afterwards, based on how this single exchange was enough for him to be 100% determined to take down his sister, merely a few lines later.

As for his willingness to make personal sacrifices... some might say he was outright willing to die for Katara in the finale -- though I'll point out he was trying to redirect the lightning anyway, didn't do it as well as he should have, but he wasn't exactly, consciously, trying to DIE for her... --, some might say that he left Mai behind in the FIre Nation, and that as well was a sacrifice... but was it? We don't see him missing her, or suffering about her fate, at any point in time after SHE sacrifices herself for him in the Boiling Rock (my biggest gripe over this particular canon couple is this, tbh). I feel like the show generally presents Zuko's situation as somewhat... self-sacrificial? Especially in Books 1 and 2, and yet that's really not the case: it isn't Zuko himself who makes the choice of traveling to find Aang, it's a punishment inflicted upon him.

This particular view upon his circumstances makes it so Zuko is never responsible for... well, any of his choices? It's always someone else's fault, therefore, whatever he suffers through, there's always someone he can (and usually does) resent for it. Therefore... I can't genuinely think of anything Zuko sacrificed in order to come as far as he did. He was forced to let go of things by his father, typically, by Zhao as well, maybe, but even then, it's not like we saw that he has a super healthy and happy relationship with, I don't know, Earth Kingdom people (his only meaningful positive EK bond was with Jin, which went nowhere and goes forgotten after a single mini episode)? The Palace staff? The commoners of the Fire Nation (they just treat him like a hero and he seems awkward and distant about it anyway, like he can really just do without their worship)? He doesn't have other friends beyond Azula's own friends... thus, he doesn't sacrifice anything that really matters. And in a sense, some people might say he doesn't have to sacrifice anything at all: he already went through so much strife and struggle that why would he need to sacrifice anything else? But the thing is... you DO have to learn to make such sacrifices if you're going to be a good king.

So often, people who devote themselves to their jobs have to consciously neglect their families, to name one thing: Zuko neglects Mai and she explodes at him for it in The Promise, then he just tries to get her back at all costs in Smoke & Shadow, with no thoughts given to the fact that maybe he isn't ready to juggle both a relationship and the throne, that maybe Mai could be happier with someone other than him, someone who can give her the attention and relationship she's looking for... THOSE are the sacrifices I'd be referring to, personally, sacrifices where his happiness and peace of mind have to be set aside for the sake of something much more important than himself, and I expect that's the kind of sacrifices you're referring to, too. I seriously don't think he's ready to make them, and with the comics as reference, there's seriously no evidence to suggest he's prepared to accept these burdens that come with the heavy mantle of leadership and ruling. I've never seen any signs of him being ready for it, myself. Maybe I need to reexamine the show and see if maybe I'm missing something... but I don't really think I am.

The worst part, for me, is that Zuko isn't even doing the bulk of the things he's doing in pursuit of genuine happiness: he's doing it over a sense of destiny. He never stops to reason with that destiny, to wonder if maybe he doesn't need to be Fire Lord, if maybe he could have a life beyond that role. Book 2 veeeery briefly suggests he MIGHT be on his way to questioning that destiny, but as I've said before, I don't see the sense in Zuko's big change of heart after the Appa incident considering we don't really understand what he's learned, other than how to be the perfect nephew for Iroh, apparently. Zuko never really is happy, as he says in the show: his happiest moments are with Mai and they're only like a 25% of his relationship with her, everything else is a mess (and his relationship with her isn't exactly the core of his character, either). So, the way I see it... Zuko is even worse off than it looks at first glance. He's out to fulfill a destiny he has never stopped to reason with, a destiny he's 100% sure is his, despite he has only been on that path, objectively, for five years? Despite he wasn't raised all along under the belief that this was what he was supposed to be? If given a chance to be genuinely happy, what on earth would he even do? A lot of the growth I gave him in Gladiator was based on that particular question: is the throne really what Zuko needs to be happy? It doesn't look like it, even in canon. If it's not... then it's not happiness he seeks, it's some sort of sense of assurance that he's doing the right thing, according to the figure of authority he follows at a set point in time: by Book 3, said authority is Iroh, and Iroh wants him on the throne. His motivation, as far as I can see it, is as simple as that.

Long story short... I don't think Zuko really has a strong grasp on many concepts that he absolutely should have reasoned with and worked out in order to become Fire Lord. In a sense, he's way too young for the role he's given, for the heavy burdens he has to deal with, and I'll NEVER see the sense in not having Iroh taking the throne (beyond how "poetic" the creators and writers found it to crown Zuko to finish his story, of course), at least for a short time, before Zuko can be ready. This is exactly why I wrote things that way in my oneshot where Azula takes Zuko's role, more or less: Iroh serves as regent while Azula prepares for taking the full role of Fire Lord when she's ready. I love her, she's awesome, I absolutely adore her character... but I don't think an Azula who was sidelined and sent on a long voyage with her uncle for YEARS could possibly be ready for the responsibilities of being Fire Lord right away.

Meanwhile? Iroh was given leadership of military missions enough times that he became a general in the Fire Nation forces. By all evidence, he was Fire Lord Azulon's pampered and spoiled son, whom he DID prepare for the duties of a Fire Lord for as long as Iroh was born: Iroh literally had fifty-ish years of preparation, as far as I can tell? How is he NOT the better suited person to take the throne, if just temporarily, while his nephew learns what it really means to rule by watching him, or by maybe learning leadership by managing smaller duties first, a specific town or city, and then putting his knowledge to good use by becoming Fire Lord properly?

Eh... because it wouldn't be an epic enough finale for the show, I suppose. That's the only answer I can find for this particular question.

So... yeah. That got long :'D but in short... I don't think Zuko has a strong grasp on responsibility and duty, let alone on the burdens inherent to these concepts. Yet more reasons why his character's arc can't hit all the marks it should, imo, to make it as great as the whole fandom is already convinced it is.

#zuko-always-lies #more zuko meta #and it got long #:'D #if anyone needs a read more #let me know and I'll add it #but for now #it is what it is #you know it really is sad to write all this when I'm more or less making peace with Zuko via Gladiator #and actually making him reason with soooo much stuff #that he never really had to in the show #*siiiiigh*#he'll never be my fav #that much is obvious #but he could be MORE #and it's sad that he's not #very sad

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wizardingworld-imagines · 4 years

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Secrets - Draco Malfoy

Pairing - Draco Malfoy x fem!Reader

Requested? - Yes! by @actyourownfandom-23

Word Count - 2k

Warnings - Umbridge. Need I say more?

A/N - I’m so so sorry that this took so long, however I hope I made up for it with the length and that it was worth the wait :)

Draco and Y/N were drawn to each other. There was an immediate spark, like fireworks going on a celebratory event for new years. There were only a few problems with their flirtations. Y/N was born to muggle parents, growing up without any knowledge of the wizarding world, until the Hogwarts letter arrived through their letter box. They were cautious, thinking it was some kind of prank or joke, but they eventually realised the truth and sent Y/N off to her new school for the next 7 years. She was also sorted into Gryffindor after arriving at Hogwarts, and swiftly made friends with Harry, Ron and Hermione. At Hogwarts, she would discover that she would find friendships that would last lifetimes, and a romance which was found in the strangest of places.

Y/N and Draco had been together for just over a year. They started getting closer in Third Year, when she helped look after him when his arm was injured by a hippogriff, who Y/N later came to learn was called Buckbeak when she helped Harry and Hermione save him. At the beginning of Fourth Year, Draco and Y/N started meeting in secret, spending tender moments together and Y/N learnt who Draco truly was. He was only a boy, manipulated by his father into believing extremist views, without little choice of his own. He had his reputation as a school bully, something most people would be cautious of, but Y/N understood why he did it. He was trying to gain his father’s approval, something he so desperately wanted that he’d sacrifice anything else for it. He could have done so many incredible things during his time at Hogwarts, yet he wasted his years being servile to someone who would never respect him.

When Umbridge came to the school, tensions were high. Y/N and Draco could no longer meet as often as they liked to, and their relationship was deteriorating quickly. Luckily, they were paired up in potions, allowing them to spend some time together.

‘No, Draco, you’re doing it wrong!’ Y/N exclaimed, as Draco ignored the instructions for the Draught of Peace, blissfully unaware of the adverse side effects caused by one small misstep. Draco turned to face Y/N, annoyance evident in his voice as he spat

‘I don’t need help from a mudblood, I bet you don’t even know how to brew the potion’

Draco’s eyes widened as he realised what he said, shame evident on his features. To anyone else he wouldn’t have cared, but he just insulted Y/N, his secret girlfriend of over a year. She stared back at him, outraged that he would say such a thing to her, but she couldn’t react. This was what he was like to everyone. She knew it wasn’t who he wanted to be, but he had been conditioned to think this way. ‘It wasn’t his fault’, she would tell herself, ‘it’s due to his upbringing.’ But surely he was at an age now where he could make his own decisions? Surely he didn’t have to keep trying to earn the respect of a father who might never be proud of him?

Y/N noticed the shame in his eyes, something only she saw. Most other people thought it was some kind of enjoyment, that he was sadistic and cruel, but Y/N knew what that look upon his face meant. He was hurting inside too.

Unfortunately for the pair of them, Umbridge was making her rounds of the castle and heard the commotion from the potions classroom as she strolled the dungeon corridors. She burst her way into the room, directly looking at Y/N and Draco.

‘Y/L/N. Malfoy. My office. Now.’ she said, turning swiftly around and out of the doorway where she just entered. Snape sent an unamused look towards the bewildered pair, and sighed, waving his hand to let them go.

Nerves racked through both of them as they walked towards Umbridge’s office. They had heard, and seen, what kind of torture went on in there. They paced the halls as they hiked to what felt like the gallows, neither of them wanting to speak about what just happened. Draco sent Y/N a look of apology, hoping she knew that he didn’t mean what he said. Y/N understood, she responded by nodding and then taking his hand in hers as they climbed the staircase to the office together.

Moments later, they sat opposite Umbridge, hands now parted as to not raise suspicion. She lectured the two about what had happened, and let Draco go without punishment. He was part of her inquisitorial squad, of course. He hesitated, not wanting to leave Y/N alone, but he had no choice. Staying would have only caused more complications.

After Draco’s departure, Umbridge brought out the parchment and quill Y/N had heard so much about. She had seen the scars on the hands of other students, and tears started to accumulate in the corner of her eyes, threatening to spill at any moment. Umbridge brought the parchment to the desk, and Y/N looked up at her, doing her best to be unafraid of what is going to happen.

‘Now, you must write ‘I must not keep secrets’ until you understand ok? How about 50 times?’ She says, sitting back down at her desk. The room was garish, pink and covered in decorative items with cats on them. The room was torture for the eyes, let alone the physical pain Y/N was about to endure.

‘Excuse me, why must I write that? I’m not keeping any secrets’ Y/N asked, curiosity in her voice.

‘I see how you and Mr Malfoy look at each other, and I reckon you two are sneaking out to see each other, are you not?’

Y/N was dumbfounded. How did she know? Y/N couldn’t answer, she just hung her head lowly and that confirmed everything for Umbridge.

‘Well, get on with it then’ She said, her tone a mix of excitement and disgust. And Y/N started writing.

~~~~~~

Leaving Umbridge’s office, Y/N examined the back of her hand, noticing the words etched into her skin already beginning to scar. The tears that threatened to spill earlier came pouring out, a tsunami of tears flooding her eyes and trailing down her cheeks. She ran to the common room, hoping that it would be empty, however to her irritation it was packed full of people.

She tried pushing past the bodies in the room, wanting to just go to her bed and cry, but to no avail, she was spotted by Hermione.

‘Y/N! Where have you been, it’s been hours since anyone last saw you!’ She stated, panic apparent with every word that she spoke. She grabbed Y/N by the wrist, noticing the marks on her hand. She was outraged, she pulled Y/N towards Harry and Ron, who were residing on the couch by the fireplace.

‘Look what Umbridge did to Y/N!’ She exclaimed, revealing Y/N’s hand to the boys. They both read the words, confusion visible upon both of their expressions.

‘But, you haven’t got anything to hide, have you?’ Ron asks, looking at Y/N, giving her reassurance that if there is anything she could tell them.

‘Well, actually…’ she starts, not knowing if she should tell them. ‘They have a right to know, they’re your best friends.’ She tells herself, so she continues, not wanting to leave them waiting.

‘Actually, I have got a secret. I may be in a relationship’ Her intonation higher on the last words, demonstrating her nervousness.

‘With who?’ They all yell, gaining the attention of everyone in the room in their desperation to know.

Silence fills the common room, and what can only be described a a squeak comes out of Y/N’s mouth.

‘Draco’

Mouths drop to the floor, did she really just say his name? Everyone was astounded by this, Draco Malfoy, the infamous hater of muggle borns, Gryffindors and essentially anyone who existed.

The silence was deafening. Y/N didn’t know what to do. She acted upon her first instinct and raced towards the common room entrance, leaving as swiftly as she could. She went to the only place she could think of, the spot where the Draco and her met in the forbidden forest.

~~~~~

When she arrived, Draco was already there. He was mumbling to himself, something about being a terrible person and how cowardly he was for not staying to prevent whatever happened to Y/N. Oh his innocent Y/N.

Y/N approached quietly, trying to make out what he was saying. She could only catch words isolated from the rest of the sentence. The snapping of a twig underneath Y/N’s foot caused Draco to turn around dramatically,his wand drawn ready to hex whoever interrupted him in his solitude. Noticing that it was Y/N, he quickly put his wand away, rushing towards her. He clasped her hand tightly in his, and brought it up to his lips, kissing the scarred flesh.

‘There you are, I was starting to think she still had you in her office, I was debating whether I came back to rescue you from your captor’ He said, a smirk rising.

‘Draco, this isn’t the time for flirting, they know’

Seriousness washed over his face. ‘They definitely know?’ He asked, a lump forming in his throat.

‘Yes. I had to tell them. They wondered about what I was hiding and I’m so tired of keeping this secret. I know I should have asked you first but I just had to do it’ She responded, expecting him to be angry and wanting to leave her.

‘Ok’

‘Ok? That’s how you respond?’ She questions.

‘Well, they know now. And that’s ok. We can deal with that’

Y/N was astonished. Draco was ok with them knowing? He had wanted to hide things for so long, but now it’s suddenly ok?

She didn’t get an opportunity to speak when the sound of three pairs of feet, crunching the leaves below them, approached the couple.

Expecting something bad to happen, Draco instinctively pulls Y/N behind him, wanting to keep her safe from anything that could do them any harm. He only wishes he could have done the same back when they were in Umbridge’s office.

The faces of the trio peering back at them, Y/N steps out from behind Draco.

‘Hello’ Harry starts. ‘I know we reacted badly back there, but we came to apologise. It isn’t our place to judge who you date or choose to spend your time with and after consideration we would like to apologise for our actions’

Y/N smiled at them, her heart filling with warmth.

‘Now, this isn’t to say that we like you, Malfoy, however, we will tolerate you, for Y/N’s sake. But if you do anything to ever hurt her, you’ll have us to answer to. Ok?’ Harry finished his lecture, staring at Draco, making sure he understood what was being said.

Draco laughed at the thought of them confronting him, but he reassured them, ‘don’t worry, I wouldn’t dream of hurting Y/N’ Finishing his sentence by taking her hand in his.

‘Now, let's get back to the castle, dinner is about to start and if we’re missing without reason we’ll be in big trouble, let alone if they find us in the forbidden forest’ Hermione reminded them, as they began their walk back to Hogwarts. A place where they could be whoever they wanted to be, regardless of their family, their background, their actions. A place they truly called home.

#draco malfoy imagines #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #harry potter imagines #hp imagines #harry potter imagine

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dropintomanga · 3 years

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Yuta Okkotsu - The Curse and Blessing of Love (Jujutsu Kaisen)

"I've always believed that love manifests the most distorted curses."

Before the curse of Ryomen Sukuna became the main problem in Gege Akutami's Jujutsu Kaisen, there was another curse that was feared/revered in the Jujutsu world. A complication to that curse was that it was associated with a then-timid young man who was trying to find meaning in his life. Yuta Okkotsu (who would become one of the strongest characters in the series so far) was dealing with grief and his origin story in Volume 0 spoke volumes about what's scary and joyful about love.

Back when he was a child, Yuta was in love with a childhood friend of his named Rika Orimoto. One day, Rika gave Yuta a ring as his birthday gift to put on his finger as a way of proclaiming marriage with one another when they grow up. Rika then gets hit by a car afterwards and dies on the spot. Yuta, who witnesses the incident, becomes traumatized and accidently curses Rika, who was begging him to help her. Rika's spirit becomes insanely devoted to him and starts causing harm to other people. When Yuta becomes bullied in school, Rika comes out to severely hurt his assailants. Yuta is then transferred to Jujutsu High to learn how to break the curse while dealing with the possibility of being executed for having a curse like Rika, who was starting to become more powerful at the time.

When Yuta is first approached by Satoru Gojo, the one teacher in Jujutsu High who opposes Yuta's execution, Yuta talks about how he doesn't want to interact with anyone because of his curse. He wanted to kill himself, but Rika wouldn't allow it. There's a lot of unhealthy guilt here which isn't exactly his fault. I sometimes feel like some kids (like Yuta) are afraid to get close to people so they don't get hurt or hurt other people. They see the pressure of fitting in. There's this fear that no one will like them after discovering what flaws they have.

Sometimes, that fear happens even in adults which can lead to issues like social anxiety and loneliness. Yuta admits that he wants to help people and be around people. He just didn't know how. I realize that a lot of advice given towards youth is very focused on what to do rather than how to do it. The "what" is super important, yes, but there's not enough emphasis on the proper steps needed to make the "what" happen. Of course, the "how" part is sometimes vague and generalized.

That's why for youth, the focus should be to take things one step at a time. For Yuta, it's just to learn how to exorcise curses and using Rika (the source of his trauma) to help others. Youth want to do amazing things with their lives, but are stunted due to mixed messaging and cultural/societal constraints that easily label them for "safety" reasons. Even worse is when youth are rushed in a way to do great things that feels more performative (i.e. doing things on a "to do" list to feel productive) and not because they genuinely want to.

Yuta would become a target of Jujutsu Kaisen's main antagonist, Suguru Geto. Geto wants to add Rika (he calls her the "Queen of Curses") to his collection of curses. When the two do fight, an overmatched Yuta decides to sacrifice his life by using Rika's powers to enhance his own cursed energy in order to defeat Geto. Yuta declares to Rika that he loves her and that they can die together with a bang. Yuta does beat Geto and was ready to accept his fate much to the chagrin of his classmates.

However, the curse on Rika ends up being broken as Yuta was able to finally let Rika move on to the afterlife with the words he expressed earlier during the fight with Geto. Goto tells Yuta that he's a descendant of a great Jujutsu sorcerer and that's why he was able to curse Rika. Yuta realizes his love for Rika was perhaps more intense than Rika's love for Yuta.

Love can go extreme in both ways. When it's good, it's one of the most beautiful feelings in the world. When it's bad, it keeps someone stuck. One of the tricky things and hardest parts of growing up is dealing with the effects of love. Yuta thought back to when he saw Rika die and how he basically told her "Don't die!" when it was already too late. Love can cause loneliness as professing your love to someone can feel like a demand.

I think the scary thing is when someone important in our life suddenly dies, we don't how to grieve or take time to. Or the grief swallows us whole. Youth usually have it worse with grief than adults. Their understanding of death is usually limited especially when many adults treat death as a taboo subject.

Before Yuta became a Jujutsu High student, he kept on thinking that he was a victim due to Rika being destructive. No one could understand his pain and trauma. That's what he believed for a while. There's a scene where the character Maki Zenin chastises Yuta for being a bit too passive for his own good.

I liked the approach that Gojo takes with Yuta when discussing his problems. When Yuta says he was okay with dying, Gojo didn't say anything like "Oh, but you have so much to live for." He suggests that his curse might be useful and that Yuta should see for himself before deciding suicide. Gojo sensed Yuta's loneliness. He tries to encourage a reframe of Yuta's thoughts ("Rika's too scary. I'm sorry she caused so much pain. It's all my fault.") to something better ("Rika's strength can save lives.") based around Yuta's values (being helpful and kind).

Reframing pain in a way that appeals to one's core values is what really drives progress. You can't just provide the silver lining as a solution unless you really understand the person you're saying it to. You need to think about what really matters to them.

I could go on and on about Yuta's story because love shouldn't be devoted to just one person. A single person can't (and shouldn't) do everything for you. I think about why marriages have failed and a big reason is that couples expect their partners to be everything they lack in themselves. It's mentally draining. While Yuta and Rika's relationship wasn't that of a married couple, its intensity felt somewhat similar to a real-life relationship. Just like how fast-paced reality has cursed a good number of marriages, the cursed sorcery of the Jujutsu world was taking its toll on both their lives and had lingering effects on those around them.

But while love hurts, I think it's important to experience what good things come out of it when it's reciprocated in return. A single relationship can lead to more quality relationships with other people. Love teaches you how to be appreciative of other people in your life.

Before Yuta defeated Geto with his enhanced strength given by Rika, Yuta proclaims that his actions are those of pure love while Geto proclaims that his actions are those of justice. So yeah, pure love over justice as it's a huge step up. Pure love revolves around embracing the flaws of people while justice isn't always that understanding. To me, that's the real sorcery we need to learn and master for the real-life curses in our world to be reversed.

#Jujutsu Kaisen #manga #anime #psychology #youth #japanese pop culture #grief #love #mental health #Yuta Okkotsu

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riversofmars · 3 years

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Big, Vast, Complicated and Ridiculous - Chapter 3

Happy Sunday all! Here is the next brief encounter of the Big, Vast, Complicated and Ridiculous Series! Enjoy <3

Rating: G

Word count: 1700

Read on AO3 or below

The Maldovarium

The TARDIS ground to a halt with a jolt and the Doctor knocked the back of her head against the console.

“Thanks for that.“ She groaned, rubbing the bump, as she got to her feet. “I just need some time with her…“ She explained looking up to the central crystal. “You can’t just… show her to me and then she’s just gone again… I would have been fine if we’d just gone back to Sheffield…“

The TARDIS gave an apologetic wheeze.

“No, you’re right, I’m just… that just made me miss her even more.“ The Doctor closed her eyes for a moment, thinking of her wife. “If I could just… talk to her, properly and… I just need a damn hug…“ The Doctor admitted. She craved River’s closeness, her touch, her reassurance… She wanted to feel the way she always did around her. She’d had a taste of it just now, that feeling she got in the pit of her stomach when River looked at her with pride. As if she wanted to say: Look, that’s my husband right there. The way she’d only look at the Doctor, her Doctor… it made her feel like herself again. She needed more of it. “So where have you taken me now?“ The Doctor asked taking a deep breath, composing herself as she made her way to the door.

As she stepped outside, it took a moment for her to get her bearings. The Malovarium, Dorium’s trading post and bar. One of the most notorious places for black market dealings and illegal activities. Just the place River Song might be stopping off.

The Doctor closed the door behind herself, the TARDIS well hidden in a corner, and slowly started strolling through the crowd. All sorts pf species were among the many colourful guests, it was very busy and rather difficult to navigate. The Doctor did her best not to bump into anyone, knowing full well most of the people here would probably try to cut her head off for it. That was when she spotted a familiar head of hair up ahead.

“River…“ The Doctor smiled to herself, relieved that it had worked, the TARDIS had found her again. She quickened her step, trying to catch up to her. She couldn’t be sure where in her timeline River was just yet but her reaction to seeing her would probably give her a clue. The Doctor ducked past two rather shady looking Oods and spotted where River was headed. Dorium Maldovar was just giving a wave to one of his associates to allow River through to the VIP area that was cordoned off.

“Where do you think you’re going?“ A broad and unpleasant looking creature stepped into the Doctor’s way as she was about to duck under the barrier chain.

“Ah, sorry, I just need to go and see a friend, she’s just over there.“ The Doctor pointed to River who was heading towards Dorium.

“Only one at a time and only with permission.“ The creature barked and the Doctor held up her hands defensively. She took a few steps away, walking along the cordon, getting as close as she could to listen in.

“Miss Song, what a pleasant surprise.“ Dorium greeted River and gestured for her to take a seat. He waved for a waiter.

“Dorium, always a pleasure.“ River retorted with a smile, crossing her legs as she sat.

“How can I be of service?“ The bar owner asked as River ordered a drink.

“In fact, I was wondering if I could be of service.“ River replied casually, folding her hands in her lap. “I’m in need of work… easy money, if you know what I mean.“

“Ah, you know, I have just the thing for someone of your skill set.“ He pulled several data pads from a pocket in his extravagant gown and sorted through them while their drinks arrived. “What’s your pleasure? Dead or alive? Criminal or missing family member…“

“Whichever pays the most.“ She smirked as she took a sip of her drink and Dorium pushed a data pad over to her. She picked it up, skimmed over the contents and placed it in her handbag with a smile. “That’ll do just fine. About the other thing?“

“Ah, well, that sort of information is a little harder to come by.“ Dorium replied taking a sip of his drink as well.

“So you haven’t heard anything?“ River frowned, clearly disappointed.

“I’m afraid not…“ He shook his head in response.

“Where could he be?“ For a moment, River’s carefully curated facade slipped. She was frustrated, disappointed, sad even as she shook her head to herself.

“You don’t just go to find the Doctor, he finds you. If he wants to, that is.“ Dorium mused and River sighed, regaining her composure:

“He better hurry up then, at this rate, I’ll have a doctorate by the time I see him again. Doctor River Song, quite the ring to is, doesn’t it.“

The Doctor hung back, observing the conversation between her two friends who, if they looked at her, probably wouldn’t have recognised her. This was a young River Song. River in the early days when the Doctor wasn’t around to measure and tame her. Ambiguous morals, quick of wit, so full of life and excitement and wonder. She was looking for her… him… however you wanted to look at it. This was before Madame Kovarian had found her again on the day she’d got her Doctorate and taken her to Lake Silencio. Would it be safe for her to reveal herself to her now? So early in her timeline?

The Doctor nearly panicked when she looked up again and realised that River had gone. Dorium had gone back to reading something on a data pad and the chair River had sat on had been abandoned.

“Can I help you with something?“ The Doctor jumped when River’s voice sounded behind her. She whirled around and stumbled back, surprised by how close she was standing to her, she nearly fell over the barrier chain behind her. River reached out and grabbed her by the collar of her coat, pulling her back and steadying her with a smirk on her face.

“I uhh…“ The Doctor was at a loss for words. Now that she found herself face to face with her very young wife, she had no idea how to act. River had given her no indication as to when they would meet properly, for the first time, safely, not to mess with the timeline.

“Do you think I wouldn’t notice you watching me?“ River smirked, tilting her head a little.

“Uhh…“ The Doctor blushed, she really had been very obvious.

“We’ve met before, haven’t we?“ River carried on, confusing the Doctor even more.

“You uhh… know who I am?“ The Doctor looked back at her in surprise. Maybe it was save to reveal herself after all, particularly if they had met before, how far back was she going to go in her wife’s timeline?

“I wouldn’t go that far but I remember a face as pretty as that…“ River retorted flirtly, running a finger along the Doctor’s jawline.

“Ah well, that’s alright then.“ The Doctor tried her best to compose herself and not show how much her simple touch effected her. She summoned up her courage and went on: “Cause actually we do know each other - will know each other - very well, in fact.“ A grin spread across her features as River raised her eyebrows intrigued.

“Oh I’m looking forward to that… how about you buy me a drink and tell me all about it.“ River smirked and ran her fingers along her future wife’s yellow braces.

“Yeah, sure, okay, I…“ The Doctor found herself nodding frantically wondering how to best introduce herself. “I’m actually…“

There was a loud crash and blaster fire.

“There’s no weapons permitted in here.“ Dorium called from behind his table, getting to his feet to have a closer look. River turned as well and the Doctor stood on her tiptoes to catch a glimpse of what was going on. Four Sontarans had just teleported right into the middle of the bar, discharging their weapons to get everyone’s attention.

“Silence blue man.“ One of the Sontarans snapped. “This bar will be annexed to the Sontaran Empire unless you surrender the one that calls herself River Song, we traced her here.“

“I’m sorry, dear, I’ve got to run, that is my cue.“ River ducked under the cordon.

“It’s okay, I have a ship, I can…“ The Doctor grabbed her arm to stop her.

“As tempting as that offer is, I wouldn’t want to put your lovely little head in harms way. It’s far too pretty to have bullet holes through it.“ River winked and bopped her nose. “Maybe we will meet again some day, and then you can show all the rooms in your ship. Starting with the bedroom.“

Before the Doctor could do anything else, River had pulled away and disappeared through the back ways of the bar.

The Doctor quickly slammed the door of the TARDIS shut behind herself, only barely evading a laser blast as the Sontarans wreaked havoc in the Madovarium. She sighed, both in relief and disappointment.

“It’s fine, it’s not your fault is it…“ The Doctor mumbled as she made her way to the console. “Maybe it’s just… maybe these fleeting moments is all we have left? I don’t know… River seemed to think I had so much to look forward to…“

The TARDIS hummed encouraging.

“I just need a point in time where we won’t be interrupted! Where she knows who I am, where…“ The Doctor shook her head to herself. Maybe she was kidding herself, maybe there was no point to this. Maybe she should go back to pick up Yaz and wait for River to find her instead.

This time, the TARDIS jumped into action on its own accord.

#Doctor Who #river song #thirteen #thirteenth doctor #fanfiction #femslash #Dorium maldovar #space wives #yowzah #river x thirteen #thirteen/river

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kaeyas-wifehusband · 4 years

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Forever Connected: Part 2

(Writer’s Note: Hnnng it’s finally here. I know I said this a dozen times already, but thank you so much for being patient with me! Hope you enjoy the rest of the story and have a good day!)

Part 1

Summary: As the current Avatar, Aang is aware that he is spiritually tied to all the ones that came before him. After a horrifying experience, he begins to wonder just how deep connections can be and if some bonds were destined to be made. (This story is based on the Kummi/Taang theory so please go check that out if you haven’t yet.)

The following day was equally bright and warm as the previous. Toph sat at the edge of the bluff, her feet dangling. She fiddled with some grass in one hand while using the other to rest her head. Typically, she wasn’t the kind of person to worry. Being down-to-earth was one of her best qualities. Yet, yesterday’s events still weighed heavy on her mind. Aang had always been a bit unusual, at least to her. Being both an airbender and the avatar made it easy to understand why. His strongly contrasting personality occasionally caused issues between the two of them. At the same time, it drew them together. They balanced each other.

“Er, hey.”

“Son of a-” she gasped, harshly jolted out of her thoughts. “Ugh, Aang, don’t scare me like that. You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

He chuckled and plopped down beside her. “Heh, sorry ‘bout that. Have you been waiting long?”

“Mm, nah. I’ve only been here for like...half an hour? Forty-five minutes at most.”

“Aww, you mean you didn’t stay all night? And here I thought you loved me.” he said, his voice dripping with obvious faux disappointment.

He was rewarded with a playful punch on the shoulder. Following that was “Shut it, Twinkle Toes.”

“Ow! Haha, okay, fine. Jeez.”

He rubbed his arm and for a moment, there was silence. It wasn’t anything like the day before, however, or like any other time for that matter. It felt awkward now; heavy. Part of him considered just forgetting the whole ordeal. It would be much easier to simply pretend that it never happened and that everything would be back to normal. Although, she would never put up with that. All those years of her drilling it into him to be upfront, to say what was on his mind, left a lasting impact. He took in a deep breath and exhaled.

“Look, about yesterday..I didn’t mean to freak you out-”

“Aang, you scared me.”

A pang of guilt flowed through him. “Er, right. I’m sorry about that. I’m also sorry for just flying off without explaining anything to you.”

“As you should be.”

“See, the thing is...I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it then because,” he scratched the back of his head. “I wasn’t exactly sure what was wrong, to be honest.”

She raised a brow and flicked some grass on him. “Well, that sure makes a whole lotta sense.”

“But I did some meditating and, well, have you ever heard of Kuruk?”

“Wasn’t he, like, the avatar before Kyoshi or somethin’?”

“Yeah! He immediately followed Yangchen in the avatar timeline and originated from the Northern Water Tribe!”

Toph sighed and laid back on the greenery. “Well, thanks for the history lesson, I guess. But how does any of that relate to your little meltdown? “Okay, first of all, it wasn’t a meltdown. Second, I’ll get to that part. Try being patient,” He heard her mumble something incoherent, then chose not to acknowledge it. Patience wasn’t exactly her virtue and she loathed being told what to do. He cleared his throat and continued. “Kuruk was, uhh, not exactly a good avatar. Not like evil or anything. He just...didn’t do much. Yangchen was apparently so good at creating peace among the four nations that he assumed he didn’t have to carry out any of his avatar duties. He didn’t uplift the voices of the needy. He didn’t protect people from harm. He didn’t promote harmony. Nothing.”

“Sure sounds like a real loser, huh?”

Aang crossed his legs and looked up towards the sky. “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. Anyway, he fell in love with Ummi, a woman from the Southern Water Tribe. They spent a lot of time together. She meant everything to him and they later got married.”

“Oh, so THAT’S who you were yelling for yesterday.”

“I...I was?”

“Yep. Don’t ya remember?”

“Alright, there was a lot going on in that moment. So if I forget some details, I’m frankly fine with it.”

Toph shrugged. “Understandable.”

There was a long pause. Though Toph had her feet still hanging over the edge, she could sense a deep sadness within him. Before she could say anything, however, he went on.

“Then...something terrible happened,” he swallowed. “As some sort of twisted punishment for Kuruk’s inactiveness, Koh flat-out abducted Ummi on her wedding night and stole her face. Which ultimately...well-”

“Killed her?”

“Yeah.”

Neither of them spoke for a moment, allowing the heaviness of the story to set in. Toph wasn’t one to feel affected by such tragic tales. This was different though. Not only because it clearly had a strong impact on Aang, but also because it felt familiar. How that was so wasn’t exactly understandable to her; not yet that is. Some part of her was able to not just imagine what Ummi went through, but practically feel it as well. (Shock. Fear. Despair.)

“And yesterday, when we were hanging out, I think I sort of...re-lived that experience,” He turned his head towards her. “Because when I looked at you, I didn’t see you. I mean I did, but not the you that I know. Instead, I saw Ummi. Faceless,” He bit his lip and averted his gaze. “Dead.” The last word weighed greatly and hung in the air.

“Wait...what do you mean when you say that you saw me but not really?”

He sighed. “It’s kinda complicated. Like, I’ll tell you, but you have to swear you won’t think I’m weird.”

There was a snicker. “Too late for that, Twinkle Toes. But go on.”

“I think...as wild as it seems...you may be a reincarnation of Ummi.”

It was preposterous. That is, it should’ve been. An expected reaction would have involved a hardy laugh or perhaps a jab to the arm; a “Haha. Aren’t you funny? Now stop being dumb.” most likely following. This wasn’t what happened, though. Her lack of surprise almost concerned her. All she requested was an explanation.

And she received one.

So he told her about everything. He told her about seeing her in the magical swamp and that he initially believed she would be someone he would meet, yet perhaps he already did in another life. (“Time is an illusion and so is death.”) Then he spoke of the anxiety-ridden nightmare he had shortly before battling Ozai. In it, she was not like Katara or Sokka. Their demise was swift and intense. Hers wasn’t. She was not consumed by fire or earth. Rather, she was cold, faceless. (“We see visions of people we lost, people we’ve loved, folks we think are gone. They’re not.”) Aang told her how, like Kuruk, he was passive. What made it different is that it was a habit he kicked, thanks to her help. She gave him what he needed; what Kuruk needed many, many years ago.

“But this probably sounds like a bunch of nonsense to you, doesn’t it?” he mumbled, eyes cast downward.

“No.”

“No?”

“Maybe a few years ago, if you told me all this, I would’ve not believed you.”

“And probably laugh at me.”

“Oh, I’d definitely laugh at you,” she said while stretching her arms and sitting up. “That was then, though. This is now. Since we met, things that I never thought could happen, happened. I’ve long since given up on the concept of impossible. You’ve opened me up to so many possibilities and plausibilities…and stop crying.” She reached over and tenderly swiped her thumb across his cheek.

“Hey, it’s your fault.” Aang half-chuckled, half-sobbed.

“Pfft, my apologies. Next time I’ll just tell you to shut up, deal?”

“Deal.”

He looked at her, the setting sun casting an ethereal glow on her being. Golden rays beamed upon her, upon the scenery. The gentle breeze carried the scent of sea salt. In this moment, everything was serene. His hand reached out to her face, connected. She leaned into the touch. (Safe. Secure. Found) Being intentional, careful, he softly pressed his lips against hers. (Home.)

“I love you.” he whispered as their mouths parted.

“Love ya, too, crybaby.”

#taang #my post #toph #aang #atla #avatar:the last airbender #fanfic #fanfiction

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lordeasriel · 4 years

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I really care about your opinion, how do you feel about the bbc show and the way it's going?

I feel like before I give my take, I need to say that I understand the show is its own thing, and while I do wish they did a better job adapting certain things, I understand that sometimes there is a need for radical change or cut, especially when your budget is not super high (which HDM does have a lot of money into it, still is not a super big budget production, so they have to worry about these things). And I do enjoy many things about the show, but my overall vibe is mixed, to be honest. I’m stating this now because people often question whether I like the show or not, becaus I do criticise it a lot, and I simply have a critic view of the things I like, which is why I discuss them a lot and it can be overwhelming.

My main issues with the show are these 3 things: (which I’ll put under the cut because this got a bit longer than I wanted to lmao sorry)

Lack of worldbuilding and loose lore: I’ve been talking about this since day one, and this mostly applies to season 1 because I can’t judge season 2 yet because it’s not fully aired yet, but the show suffers from lack of worldbuilding, especially in Lyra’s world, which is the world that sets everything in motion. I still dislike the fact they introduced Will mid-NL, I don’t think he needed all those episodes to establish something that easily could’ve been done in S2 and because they gave TSK a lot of time, other parts of Lyra’s world suffered considerably, mainly the witches and the Magisterium.

The show doesn’t really expand on those two groups, especially, and I think that’s not good, especially the Magisterium (which they have over simplified by making it one big baddie, or so it seems at least, not to mention that implying a single leader for them practically ruins Marcel Delamare’s arc in TBOD and I’m very mad about that lmao). A lot of the Magisterium plot has that infighting aspect, which creates tension on their side as well as against their enemies, but the show doesn’t really explore that or the nuances of the Church, and they also don’t explore how varied the witches are, and I feel like this is a serious mistake. (The portrayal of the witches is by far my least favourite thing in the show, if I’m being honest).

Dull parallel world (and lack of daemons): this ties a bit with the worldbuilding aspect, but this is mainly about design choices. I think the show doesn’t make Lyra’s world as unique as it should be. On its own the world looks pretty and the outfits of most of the cast are great, but when you realise that Will’s world is intertwined with that, you don’t really feel like these two worlds are vastly different.

There is an odd situation in which Marisa’s fashion feels 30s/40s, but most of the men from her social circle (not fair to compare with the gyptians) just wear plain suits and they look much more modern. And while I get that they went for a timeless vibes, with different eras and styles, Lyra’s world feels like a caricature and it doesn’t feel believable. The colour palette is mostly the same for both worlds (even in s2, it’s hard to tell much of the difference because either the scenes are indoors or at night.) This, paired with the lack of daemons (which has been discussed many times in the fandom) kinda bums me out.

Marisa’s oversimplification: I’m mentioning Marisa, specifically, because she is the one that suffers the most due to this writing issues, but other characters like Lord Asriel, MacPhail, the general collective of the Witches, they all suffer from the writing trying to take away the nuances of them and make them flatter than in the book. Marisa is the worst because without her complexity and her flaws, she simply gets dull and boring and flavourless, and it’s kinda what has been happening in the show in my opinion. All she does is weep and she has no strength that doesn’t rely on a random fit of rage that dies out and she gets upset. There’s some great moments, like when she mimics the Monkey, but most of the time she’s just a shadow of who she is supposed to be.

The show tries really hard to make her a Scorned Mother - right from the get go, they try to makes us see how she wants Lyra, how she struggles with her “bad nature” and how that affects their relationship. There is this lingering implication that Lyra was taken from her against her wishes; they make it seem like being a mother to Lyra is her driving force, the only reason why she seeks power and influence. And that is the opposite of Book! Marisa, who is a force of nature, ruthless and ambitious, with not an ounce of maternal instinct.

She does eventually decide to help Lyra, instead of harming her, but even that action comes from a narcisistic place: Lyra is to her a possession, something that belongs to her, and that she wants to preserve. The show just handles her badly, falling into overused, boring tropes that struck far from the book version.

These are usually my main complaints about the show, and they upset me every episode to the point I’m practically ignoring them now lmao The show does a lot of good things too, making Will less of a prick, restoring Lyra’s personality from the first book into S2 Lyra (so far, please keep it that way), Mary is looking great too. They have mostly a great cast, and they did improve the daemons this season (except uh, there are far less daemons to show because of the other worlds - and the Ruta Skadi daemon change pisses me off tbh).

They do have a lot of interest in the show, but the writing (the main issue to me) feels clunky and childish, with the show toning down most of the themes that make His Dark Materials so special, especially to me (which frankly I expected them to do, but it still stings a bit). They make the Magisterium a single bad entity that feels more Authoritarian-Fascist, than a theocracy (even if they sneak in the religious symbols and rituals and garments, it’s just not a good portrayal, it’s very tame and shy); and they try to justify Marisa’s actions (especially in current interviews, there’s lots of talk about how her background will play in the show to “explain why she is the way she is”). The fact the Magisterium is portrayed as pure evil makes it looks less familiar than it should be, and therefore they don’t look scary, they seem like a caricature, a joke.

A lot of the essence of the characters get lost, and the core message of the story too, like when Iorek and the Gyptians tell Lyra she can be one of them, to support her lack of “proper family”, when that is the opposite of the books message. It doesn’t make sense for them to change that, other than maybe Jack Thorne wanted to because it makes the story feels less hopeless, but it’s why he fails to adapt these character - he doesn’t capture the essence, he tries to write these character with gaps in them.

However, the thing that annoys me the most is how they portray Asriel. It’s just... it’s bad. Really bad, which is a shame cause James is talented as fuck, but he had little time to film for season 1, and then they portrayed him very poorly. That scene when he addresses Roger in episode 7 is ridiculous, Asriel would never behave that way; there was relief in him finding Roger was there too, yes, but not to that extent and not in such a cringe way. Asriel is not deranged or irrational, he is a man on a mission, and Roger was a tool (there is no pleasure in Asriel taking his life and no excuses - it needed to be done and he did it); they just needed him to sound creepy in the show for whatever reason.

I hated how they handled the bridge scene for Asriel, Lyra and Marisa, but that’s long and complicated for me to explain here. In S2, there has been some mentions of him so far, including the implication he might have ruined Cittàgazze himself and I frankly don’t understand where did they get that idea. But the cherry on the top was Thorold telling Marisa that Asriel was gonna kill Lyra and that’s just-- that’s so dumb. That’s genuinely dumb writing, because Thorold knows Lyra followed Asriel to the mountain, and while I do believe Asriel would have killed Lyra if Roger wasn’t there, there is no way Thorold should know or consider that Asriel was gonna hurt Lyra, because Roger was there. In fact, Thorold’s interactions with Asriel in episode 8 already disprove this, so either Thorold was lying in S2 for the sake of, I don’t know, chaos or whatever, or the person who wrote this was a five-star, solid gold, fucking moron.

I’m not gonna mention the lost episode because that was no one’s fault, but the fact that they discarded an episode that all information we have on imply that it was important to set up the backstory of the angels and the city, it’s... concerning. It means they wrote something parallel that should’ve been woven into the season.

The truth is, I still watch the show on Sundays, and I still like some stuff they do (especially Mary’s stuff, so far), and despite me slandering the show per your request anon lol (cause unfortunately my honest opinion is mixed, I just don’t try to overfocus on the negative on Tumblr, I mostly talk about it on discord or private), I do think anyone who has read the books should watch the show.

For me, personally, everything I love about HDM is barely on the show - complex characters, the philosophy, the oppression by religion, the interesting world - and the vibe I get is that they’re adapting a coming-of-age love story, which is the last and - being fully honest - the least important message these books give us, but unfortunately they were set to making a family show from the start, and my expectations were high and unmatched, and a family is what we’re getting: toned down, cute, pretty visuals and soulless (heh, pun intended), philosophically speaking. I expect a certain pattern going into S3, but I always like to hold out hope that they will hire better writers (apparently Jack Thorne already wrote 4 scripts, so there you go lmao), and try to give HDM the adaptation it deserves. The truth is, if you’re a picky, canon reliant person like I am, the show might be a struggle, but if you just like the story for the teen romance, or if you don’t care about overthinking a show/book, then most people can have a good time with it.

#asks #effie watches hdm #sorry it took me a while and sorry for the gigantic critique #but i wanted to be honest about my take on the show so far #Anonymous

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crow-writes-stuff · 4 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Akutagawa Ryuunosuke & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Gin & Nakahara Chuuya, Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), possible Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Gin, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Soft Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Chuuya is basically the Akutagawa's big brother, Light Angst, Tired Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), everything is happening and Chuuya feels responsible, Caring Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Caring Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Akutagawa Gin is a good sister, Tired Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, Armed Detective Agency Member Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Overworked Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, Hugs, A lot of talking, actual communication, i'm shocked Series: Part 3 of Affirmation Summary:

Akutagawa doesn't take Chuuya leaving the Port Mafia well. Gin asks Chuuya to intervene.

It's only been a week since Chuuya left the Port Mafia and joined the Armed Detective Agency. Kinda. He's allowed to stay for now but not an official member. He's since gotten the things he wants to keep from his old apartment and moved in with Dazai. Because Dazai's supposed to be with him at all times. To keep an eye on him. Sometimes, Chuuya thinks Dazai is the one that needs to be watched. Actually, no. He knows that Dazai needs to be watched at times.

It's easy to fall into old habits. Good and bad. Chuuya has quickly taken to cooking for them again, after realising that Dazai is still hopeless in the kitchen. Dazai, on the other hand, seems to be reminded more often of his past in the mafia simply due to Chuuya's presence. There are... consequences. Chuuya sighs as he thinks of the packets of bandages next to their groceries in his shopping bag.

"You seem distracted," Dazai suddenly says. They're on the way to his - no, their flat. Chuuya looks at him, notices the way he keeps glancing away. Oh.

They stop. Soon enough, a black-clad figure steps out of the shadows. Chuuya relaxes and smiles at her. "Hello, Gin." "Chuuya-san," she acknowledges, pointedly ignoring Dazai. "Do you want to be here, or are you on a mission?" Chuuya asks, implications clear. "I chose to come. We got your letter, Chuuya-san."

Chuuya nods. "I'm sorry I couldn't talk to you instead." She shakes her head. "It's alright." There is a small pause before she continues: "I have a favour to ask."

Ah, this might get complicated. Still, Chuuya cares about her. He's not going to refuse before hearing her out. "Go ahead. I can't promise anything, though." She nods again and takes a breath. Seemingly steeling herself for what she's going to say next. "Please meet with my brother and talk to him."

This is... not what Chuuya expected. "Is he alright?" Gin looks at him worry and resolve apparent in her eyes. "He hasn't stopped working since you left. He's not sleeping and eating even less than usual." Chuuya sighs. He had hoped his letter would prevent at least some of this. Looks like he was wrong.

"Chuuya," Dazai interrupts for the first time. He's been surprisingly respectful until now, keeping himself out of the conversation. Chuuya looks at him. "You think this is a trap?" Dazai shrugs, eyes on Gin. "Mori knows you'll come running every time someone you care about is in trouble."

Gin's hands tighten into fists, but she doesn't try to defend herself. Chuuya pinches the bridge of his nose. Dazai is right, of course. But that doesn't change anything. "I'm going." Dazai sighs in disappointment. He's clearly not surprised though.

Gin is. Her eyes widen before she breathes a: "Thank you." Chuuya nods at her. "Can you get him to your place in two hours?" She nods, determined. "Okay, I'll see you then." She takes off after one last nod.

When she's out of sight and earshot, Dazai shakes his head. "You really think this is a good idea?" Chuuya shrugs and starts moving again. "I can't just ignore them. Not after I've seen what happened after you left." Dazai follows half a step behind him. "I'm guessing it wasn't pretty." Chuuya laughs humorlessly. "You have no idea how often I had them stay at my place because Gin was too worried to be alone with her brother." He watches for a reaction, but Dazai's face remains neutral. Of course. "One day," Chuuya says, "I want you to apologise to him." This does actually get a reaction. Dazai's eyes widen a fraction before he looks away. "I can't." Chuuya waits. "Not yet." He rolls his eyes. "Idiot, I did say 'one day', didn't I?"

They spent the rest of the way in somewhat comfortable silence. Once they reach their flat - Chuuya can't call it home yet - Dazai heads for the living room while Chuuya puts away their purchases. He takes a look at the clock, quickly calculating how much time he has to cook something. Deciding that he has enough to make fried rice with leftover vegetables he gets to work. Dazai comes by to help cut the vegetables for a bit. He doesn't comment on the amount.

After about an hour, the food is done. Dazai portions half of it on two plates, while Chuuya puts the rest into a reusable container.

They sit down to eat, and Chuuya smiles to himself when Dazai seems to actually enjoy the food. They both keep glancing at the clock, however. "You should get going," Dazai finally says after they're both finished. "I'll wash up." Chuuya nods and goes to take the leftover food with him. Dazai comes with him to the door, casually leaning on the wall while Chuuya puts his shoes on. "Don't do anything stupid." Chuuya gives him a quick smile. "I'll be careful." Dazai huffs, as if that wasn't exactly what he meant, but returns the smile for just a moment.

Chuuya checks by a little corner store on the way, adding figs to the food he's already carrying. When he finally reaches the home of the Akutagawa siblings, he rechecks the time. If Gin did manage to convince her brother, they should be here by now.

Chuuya knocks and doesn't have to wait more than a few seconds before Gin opens the door. She's still in her work clothes but has taken off the mask. She looks tired but smiles at him gratefully as she lets him in. "Thank you for coming, Chuuya-san." "Of course. Here," he hands her the bag, before taking his shoes off. She glances inside the bag, smile softening. "You didn't have to." "I wanted to. Don't mention it." Chuuya straightens. "Now, where's the troublemaker?" She smothers a giggle with her hand and indicates to follow her.

Ryuunosuke is sitting in the living room but scrambles to stand up with wide eyes when he sees them enter. "Chuuya-san!" He clearly tries to hide his surprise but fails miserably. "What- what are you doing here?" Chuuya almost sighs at the sight. There are very prominent bags under the kid's eyes, and he's even paler than usual. Saying that he looks tired would be the understatement of the year. Chuuya waves him off. "Relax. I'm just here to talk."

Gin excuses herself, saying she'll make some tea, and leaves them alone. Chuuya sits down opposite Ryuunosuke and waits until the other has also sat down again.

"So," Chuuya starts, noting the tiny flinch he causes, "I heard you're working too much." Ryuunosuke looks away and grumbles something that sounds like "I'm not." "Sure." Chuuya rolls his eyes. "That's why you look like death turned over." He sighs. "Listen, I know you were fine before I left so I don't think it's far fetched to think this is my fault." "It's not! This has nothing to do with you." "So you admit it then?" His answer is nothing but a huff, and perhaps the tiniest hint of a pout.

"It's reminding you of Dazai, isn't it?" Chuuya smiles sadly and gets up to kneel in front of the other. "Ryuu, listen to me." Chuuya has worked years to be allowed to call the older Akutagawa sibling this in private. He's going to take full advantage of it now. "I'm not disappearing from your life. You have my number, you know that I'm at the Agency most of the time now. If you need anything, you can talk to me. Hell, we can talk even if that's the only thing you want to do." He puts a hand on Ryuu's shoulder, who stubbornly avoids looking at him. "I'm not Dazai. I won't pretend that I don't care about you guys." He smiles. "And because I care, I want you to get some fucking sleep."

Finally, Ryuunosuke looks at him. "You're overreacting," he mumbles, but there's no heat behind it. Chuuya rolls his eyes. "You're just an idiot. Eat something, get some rest and stop worrying your sister. Understood?" With a hint of a smile, Ryuu nods. "Understood." Chuuya grins and sits back down. "Good."

Gin enters the room, a tablet in hand, clearly having waited outside until now. She sets the tablet down and fills them each a cup of tea. Chuuya smiles at her when she whispers a barely audible "Thank you."

Once they're all settled, Chuuya smirks. "Now you two can tell me what happened since I left." Ryuu looks at him incredulously. "You want gossip?" Chuuya shrugs. "What? You think I'm coming all this way to leave without getting some dirt? Don't get me wrong, I do care about you guys, but that doesn't mean I'm not still bitter about the shit Mori pulled."

The is a pause before Gin says: "Tachihara cried." Chuuya stares at her. "Seriously?" She nods, looking at her tea. "He tried to hide it, but I saw it. It was after Hirotsu-san read his letter to us." "Fuck," Chuuya says, leaning back. "Now I gotta talk to him as well." He makes a mental note to invite Tachihara out for drinks this weekend. Good thing he doesn't have any other plans. Oh, Dazai's going to love this. First, Chuuya meets up with the Akutagawa's, and now he plans on doing the same thing with another Black Lizard commander. He can already imagine the look he's going to get.

Chuuya hesitates before asking: "What about Kouyou?" The siblings exchange a glance. This doesn't bode well. It's again Gin who speaks up: "She's angry. I thought she might actually try to kill the boss." "She didn't, right?" Chuuya asks, alarmed. "No. But I heard rumours that she yelled at him. And now she's not talking to him." "She made tea for us after bringing us your letter," Ryuu adds. Chuuya sighs. "Tell her I'm alright when you next see her, okay? And, uh... that I'm sorry." "I don't think she blames you," Gin says softly. She's probably right. Chuuya still feels guilty.

The siblings tell him more of the general consequences of his departure. He's not surprised to be painted as a traitor that ultimately got manipulated by Dazai to leave the Port Mafia. It still pisses him off.

Finally, when they have emptied their tea and Ryuunosuke looks like he's about to fall asleep sitting up, Chuuya bids his goodbye. The siblings accompany him to the door, and Gin even gives him a quick hug. He returns it, giving her brother a pat on the shoulder afterwards.

When he's finally on his own, Chuuya sighs. He's glad to have met up with them, but he also feels drained. He already spend his day with people that think he's going to turn around any moment and stab them in the back. Okay, it's mostly Kunikida and Yosano. But damn do they manage to make their distrust apparent. Edogawa likes to annoy the shit out of him, and Atsushi is still jumpy around him. The others mostly trust him on the basis of Dazai being around. Which is nice. The room definitely doesn't go quiet every time Dazai leaves to go to the bathroom or something. Kyouka seems to be the only one that is entirely on his side. Which is actually nice. And Dazai. But he's Dazai.

Speaking of which, Dazai is waiting in the living room when Chuuya enters the flat. He gives him a surprised look and calls with a cheerful voice: "You're not dead!" Chuuya rolls his eyes but doesn't further comment. Instead, he just lets himself fall down on the couch next to Dazai.

After a stretch of silence, Dazai asks: "Well, how'd it go?" "He promised to eat something and get some sleep today. Otherwise, Gin is going to give me a call." Chuuya sighs. "And I'm gonna have to invite Tachihara out for drinks this weekend." "Oh?" Dazai says, tone somewhere between amusement and disappointment. Chuuya is almost impressed by that. "Yeah, it apparently hit him harder than I expected. Gotta apologise for that." Dazai puts an arm around his shoulders. "You know, that this isn't all your fault, right?" Chuuya snorts. "Yeah, apparently it's yours." "Excuse me?" "Didn't you know? You finally managed to manipulate me into betraying the Port Mafia." Dazai nods sagely. "Ah, well. That does sound like something I would do." Chuuya bumps his shoulder against him, rolling his eyes. "You shouldn't get to take credit for this." "Oh, but I absolutely will." Chuuya sighs, actually leaning against Dazai now. "How is this all so fucking exhausting?" "Well," Dazai starts, rearranging his legs until Chuuya is positioned between them and they're half lying on the couch, Chuuya resting on top of Dazai. "You did just leave behind the life you built up over the past few years. Now that I think about it, you weren't exactly the most chipper when you first joined either." He's right. Chuuya really didn't have the best of luck with the organisations he's been part of thus far. He had thought the betrayal of the Sheep would be a one-time thing. Clearly, he was wrong. He groans and throws one arm over his eyes. "This sucks." Dazai chuckles, patting his head condescendingly. "It'll get better eventually." Chuuya half-heartedly swipes at him but soon gives up. He's tired.

"You can take a nap if you want." Chuuya peeks up at Dazai, brows furrowed. "Have you seen the time? A nap now means we're staying on the couch the whole night." Dazai shrugs with an indulgent smile. "I don't mind." Chuuya grumbles but closes his eyes. "If I'm sore tomorrow, I'm blaming you." Dazai hums and returns his hand to play with Chuuya's hair.

It doesn't take long for them both to fall asleep. Chuuya really hopes that he doesn't get a call from Gin tomorrow.

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #nakahara chuuya #bsd chuuya #akutagawa gin #bsd gin #akutagawa ryuunosuke #bsd akutagawa #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #soukoku

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big-bad-ulf · 4 years

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Aftermath || Layla & Ulfric

Timing: Late, Sunday 21st of June, following this. Parties: @laylacooke, @big-bad-ulf Summary: Ulfric helps Layla patch things up after her hypnosis is broken, and a new understanding between the two is reached. Warnings: Medical blood, sibling death mentions

Layla remained huddled in the corner as she watched Ariana get up and leave the room. Her body shook with a mixture of so many emotions; emotions that seemed to be keeping her mind occupied and away from the open claw marks that were bleeding again and the other bruises and cuts that plagued her body. The chains around her ankles had begun to dig in, cutting off the circulation, and the chair was digging into her side. Nothing mattered though. Nothing mattered but the pain she had felt on the inside of her heart and mind, and she didn’t know how she was going to move forward with anything anymore.

Rushing into the trailer, Ulfric’s stomach turned at the sight of Layla still chained. A tied-up, helpless was something he’d hoped to never see again after the incident with Ariana, let alone be responsible for. But responsibility had driven him towards many strange things in recent months, especially where Layla was concerned. How much of the harm he’d caused her for her own protection, did she remember? The old wolf wondered, unable to meet her eyes as he crossed the room and retrieved the key to the restraints. “Let’s get you out of here,” he murmured to her, as he began undoing the locks, manacles first. “You’re bleeding.” It was a statement, the scent of blood old and new that emanated from her small form was strong, even this close to the new moon, which meant the wounds she’d sustained were more than trivial. “Tell me where it hurts worst, I’ll help you get patched up.”

When she heard the man come in, Layla further pushed herself tighter into the corner. Ulf had already made her nervous before the fidget spinner had ever entered her life, and now, here she was, after making his life so much harder, scared for the reaction he was going to have; memories of her own father coming to mind after he would punish her for not doing what was asked of her or not learning what she was required to for the life path they had arranged for her. She had flinched when he reached out to unchain her, but seeing he meant no harm, she loosened up, “M-My head.” The words were meek and quiet. She couldn’t even think about the physical wounds, but it did feel nice to not have chains binding her or a chair cutting into her small form anymore.

Her head. “Right, sorry about that,” Ulfric replied lamely, looking up from where he’d unfastened the chains around her ankles, slightly regretting having asked when it should have been obvious that would be the case after he’d brained her with a rock. “Hang on a moment,” he instructed, rising swiftly to head to the kitchen. “It might help to stretch your limbs, but slowly. Don’t overexert yourself,” he called as he rifled through the cabinet. He could only imagine the toll days of repeated physical struggles and multiple layers of mental manipulation had taken on her, and the last thing he wanted was for her to hurt herself further in her eagerness to be free of her restraints. Finding the first aid kit, he washed his hands thoroughly before retrieving a pair of rubber gloves from inside and slipping them on, carrying the rest of the container and its contents over to the young wolf.

“If you could sit still for me, Layla.” His voice was even and soft as someone as gruff as he could hope to achieve, signaling the words were a request, not a demand. Moving her hair gently away from the spot that was dampest with blood, Ulfric saw the wound across her scalp was cleanly edged, luckily the blow he’d delivered her with the makeshift weapon had been precise. “This could use a few stitches.” He informed her, trying to meet her gaze to seek permission before going any further. “I’m well-versed at this. I always had the steadiest hands of all my siblings, and they gave me plenty of occasions to practice.” He’d meant to reassure her, but it was quickly turning to rambling to fill the pained silence. “Though given the location, even if I did a poor job, no one would see the scar.”

Layla continued to shake from the overwhelming feeling that was plaguing her right now. However, she still managed to do as instructed, though her legs and feet didn’t allow her to push them out with much speed anyways with how painful everything seemed to be. But, even through the discomfort, Layla was feeling relief. And she was even finding it a little easier to release some of the tension and fear she held being in the trailer alone with Ulf; assuming Ariana had already left.

She watched as he returned and kneeled down to meet her height. With all that was going on in her head and her heart, she couldn’t find fault with Ulf for what he had done. In fact, there was no telling what might have happened or where she would be right now, if he hadn’t stopped her.

Watching him, as he slowly pushed her hair out of the way, she remained quiet, until she noticed his eyes trained on her own. With a silent nod, she allowed the man permission to stitch her up, and quickly let her gaze fall. It took her a moment to formulate the words she was looking for, but with what little courage that was currently tucked deep inside of her, Layla spoke, “I’m sorry. For all of it. For putting you and Ariana in the middle of all of this when you both just lost Celeste.” Her voice was shaky and quiet, but her apology, sincere.

Ulfric let her hair fall back in place, doubling back to retrieve the bottle of akvavit liquor from above the top of the cabinet and offering it to her. “Here, have a sip to take the edge off. I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.” Leaving the bottle in her hands for her to decide, he resumed his place standing by her side and threaded the needle. “You’re not the first one here to put your family in danger because you didn’t know how to cope with your grief,” he informed her, finally circling back to address her apology. “I had a younger brother and sister, Ingvar and Hild. Hunters murdered them the first time they were sent to gather supplies from the human settlement on their own. Hild was barely 15…” he trailed off, surprised by how much detail was flowing from him when he usually avoided talking about this topic at all, but he thought the story it might take her mind some of the physical pain she was experience and he saw so much of himself at her age in how she’d handled things. Perhaps that’s why he’d struggled to connect with her even after he no longer feared her running off to old hunter contacts with their location, it was always hard to look at a reflection of your own flaws.

“I didn’t even wait until we’d performed their funeral rites to track the hunters down and avenge them,” he continued, emotion in his voice restrained as he focused on his work, closing the head wounds with small, steady, close together stitches, “one of the hunters had a day job, though. A high-profile diplomat. The attention from the hunter community and human media alike was... intense. I’d put everything I had left in the world at risk, because I couldn’t bear to sit with what I was feeling long enough to come up with a smarter plan or even figure out what the hell I’d be running into.” He sighed and tied off the thread, cutting it loose close to the skin with a small pair of scissors. “All this to say, you’re already forgiven, as far as I’m concerned,” Ulfric continued, wiping away the blood on her scalp with antiseptic, still looking at her wounds more than her. Finding it was easier that way to say what he was thinking and not have it come out in the wrong way like it had in the past. “And I’m sorry too. For what I’ve said. The way I’ve said it. There’s too few of us left to be pushing each other away.”

She watched as the man once again left only to return with a bottle of hard alcohol. Taking it in her hands, she didn’t hesitate to open it and take a long slow drink. The liquid burned and it made her cough fiercely, but she could already feel the effects of it numbing parts of her body she didn’t want to feel. However, what Layla didn’t expect, while she apprehensively watched Ulf thread a needle, remembering the last time she was sewn up by Celeste and how much it hurt, was that he was about to divulge his life’s story. And with one more quick sip of the drink, she capped the bottle and settled in for what he was about to tell her.

As he explained in detail, of what happened to his family, Layla could feel tears welling up in her eyes. Her head was already throbbing, and she was dehydrated and worn down, but the fact that Ulfric was opening up to her, like he was, meant so much. With everything she had done, she didn’t feel worthy of being considered anything, much less important enough to anyone that they would tell her something so personal. The relationship with Ulfric had been a rocky one from the first day they met, but in this moment, he was making her feel more accepted at a time when she had felt so hopeless. It had also distracted her from him tending to the wound on her head.

“I...I’m so sorry that happened to you and your family, Ulf.” She looked at him. Her eyes connected with his for the briefest of seconds, just to let him know how sorry she was, before she looked back down, “My history is complicated, and because of that, I judged you before I got to really know you, because of the things my,” She paused thinking about her parents and all they had done, “mother and father did to discipline me. I passed that judgment onto you, because you scared me, and that wasn’t fair. But I see how kind you’ve been to Ariana and...Celeste, and I’d like to start over if we can…” She looked down at the bottle, thumbing at the cap.

Ulfric tensed at the mention of discipline. He knew something of that too. Of nights spent huddled with his siblings in the cellar waiting for signs of his parents’ return, only for them to throw a disorientated but armed hunter down with them and lock the door. He’d learned to make snap judgments about hunters in order to survive, and it was hard to shake those instincts off, even in the light of new evidence. Ulfric saw now that it must have been similar for Layla with werewolves, though the thought that their upbringings bore any similarities was too disquieting for him to voice it aloud. “Yes, I’d like that. We can start on a new cycle, or at least a new phase of one,” he agreed instead. He left her side to return to the kitchen again to return with another offering, in this case, a small tin canister with a glass top revealing a fine powder within. “On that note, I’ve been meaning to give you this,” the older werewolf passed it to her. “There didn’t seem to be a good moment, on your birthday. It’s called Aram, I have it on good authority it’ll bring you nothing but pleasant dreams.” That’s how Morgan had explained it when he’d brought Ariana to stay with her and Deirdre. It had taken him a while to find it, but fortunately, the owner of Eye of Newt had taken pity on a lost looking werewolf and helped. “You can take it with tea. I think we all deserved a good night’s rest, but you probably need it the most.”

Hearing him agree to start over brought a soft smile to the girl’s face. They had certainly gotten off on the wrong foot, and Layla wanted to make things right. She would work to make things right with him, Ariana, and anyone else she had wronged in White Crest, which at this rate, was half the town. It was going to take a lot of time and energy, but it was the least she could do.

Watching Ulf leave the room once again, she looked to the bottle. The liquid had helped, and she was almost tempted by another drink, but instead, she pushed the glass container further away and was grateful for Ulf’s return. Seeing the small tin in his hand, she reached out for it and let her eyes scan over it. She listened to him describe what it offered, and she couldn’t wait to try it out. Her body was already so weak and longing for a bath and the bed. Probably more so the bed than anything, “Yeah, the only good thing that happened for my birthday was Frankie actually talking to me.” She looked away, her heart aching recalling the way Lucas and Ulf were the only ones willing to speak to her at the party without her having to make the first move. “But thank you. I’m just so ready to sleep. I’m so tired, Ulf. How can I be so tired? I just turned nineteen.” She gripped the small tin tightly longing for what it held. Her eyes were heavy. Blood stained various parts of her body and clothes, but she had finally quit shaking and the tears had subsided.

“Weariness can catch up to anyone,” Ulfric answered her with a dry chuckle. “But one benefit of aging is that these unhappy days will seem shorter and shorter in the span of your life, as you go on.” That was along as she stayed safe, and her life was filled with more happy days than sad in the years to come. But he didn’t want to entertain any other possibility at that moment, worries had already worn him down enough for the time being. “I can brew the tea while you wash up,” he informed her, patting Layla on the shoulder gently. “Then you can sleep as long as you like.”

Layla hoped and prayed her happiness would come sooner rather than later. Laying the small box on the nearby bed, she very cautiously and slowly climbed to her feet. Everything hurt, but she was up, and it was a start, “Yeah. I’d like that.” She nodded, “And this...this is a new start, because I’ll be damned if I’m gonna keep letting the past ruin my life.” It would be hard, no doubt, but if she had wanted that happiness, the teenager was going to have to work for it. A difficult lesson to learn at nineteen, but when had her life ever truly been easy?

#chatzy #layla #aftermath #wickedswriting #medical blood tw #death mention tw #//i would like to sue myself for giving myself feels

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alphacrone · 4 years

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for it’s better to burn out than to fade out of sight (3/?)

rating: T pairings: Yuki & Tohru (platonic), Tohru/Kyo, Yuki/Machi, other canon pairings & friendships summary: In the end, it wasn’t sadness Yuki felt, when Tohru Honda had her memories erased. No, it was anger. And anger he could work with.

<< read previous chapter || read next chapter >>

iii. now my heart’s a frozen lake where streams used to flow

***

“Do you think wave-girl seduced him?”

Yuki paused at the mention of Hanajima. They were barely more than acquaintances, but Yuki didn’t like the tone the girls in the classroom were using. He leaned back against the wall and continued to listen.

“Ew, no way! But he seems close to that Honda girl…”

They were talking about Tohru? Yuki’s blood began to boil.

“How could someone so plain attract Prince Yuki like that! He deserves someone beautiful and utterly perfect .”

“Seriously. Do you think she...you know...with him?”

One of the girls gasped. “Don’t say something like that. The Prince wouldn’t do that with just anyone .”

Under his blind anger at these girls’ insults of Tohru, Yuki wondered just how they could make such assumptions about him . How could they know what would attract him? How could they know he wasn’t hooking up with anyone willing? Who were they to assume his own thoughts and feelings?

But...well, even if they didn’t have the right to think they knew him, how could they even begin to know him? Yuki was a creature of ice and snow, cold and hardened against the world. His heart was frozen solid, buried deep and far, far away from the light of day. He’d never let anyone close, really, only Hatsuharu on occasion.

And then, Tohru had appeared in his life. From the moment he’d found her in the woods, he knew what Prometheus felt gazing upon fire for the first time. Yuki wanted to steal this light for himself, keep her safe and far away from harm, but to be a Sohma was to be dangerous. It would be wise to leave her behind and retreat behind his walls, but Yuki was tired. He was tired of loneliness and tired of the cold, tired of watching the world pass by like a movie he couldn’t pause.

And Tohru was bright, and Tohru was warm, and Tohru was so unfailingly kind and loving, it made Yuki’s heart ache. What would happen to his heart of ice in the face of these new flames in his chest? Would he extinguish her light? Or would he thaw?

Yuki was a creature of snow and ice; would there be anything left of him when he melted?

***

Yuki wasn’t sure what he expected from Hanajima’s house when she invited him to study after school, but the normalcy of it did surprise him. He supposed it would be foolish to think she lived in some spooky, European mansion in the middle of the neighborhood, but against the backdrop of the average house she seemed more startling, like ink against a stark canvas.

“Hope you’re better at history than we are, Prince,” Uotani said, pushing hair from her face as they approached the front door. “I’m great at remembering formulas for math, but I can’t remember dates for shit.”

“Uo’s a math genius!” Tohru called over her shoulder, bouncing a little. “She can do really complicated equations in her head!”

“Eh, math’s just easy,” Uo said with a shrug. “Once you get how it works. Remembering dates and names for things that happened before I was born is confusing.”

Tohru blushed, but didn’t seem too embarrassed when she said, “I think it’s all confusing. But I like learning about the past. So many people have lived so many lives, it’s really interesting.”

Hanajima opened the front door and softly called, “I’m home.” The other girls parrotted her, and all three kicked off their shoes with a familiar ease. Yuki knelt down to remove his own as an older woman replied, “Welcome home!”

Uotani cast a grin at Tohru. “Well, if I’m a math genius, Tohru’s a home ec genius. Our girl can cook and sew like nobody’s business.”

“I kno-” Yuki caught himself before he could reveal he had, in fact, spent a few weeks eating Tohru’s cooking for every meal. “I see.”

“O-oh, it’s nothing,” Tohru sputtered, waving her hands around. Hanajima and Uo led them upstairs to Hanajima’s room, both smirking at Tohru as her face grew pink. “Cooking isn’t anything special like math.”

“I think it’s really special,” Yuki said honestly, readjusting his grip on his school bag. “I’m awful at cooking and cleaning. Most of my meals are take-out.” Of the three men in the house, only Kyo could cook, and he adamantly refused to cook for anyone but himself. After Shigure’s last attempt at cooking, he and Yuki had gone back to take-out and microwaveable meals.

Hanajima’s room was much like the rest of her house—unnervingly normal—but at least here there were touches of her darkness. The dark bedspread and curtains at least hinted at the macabre aesthetic of Kaibara High’s resident witch.

“O-oh, really?” Tohru said, sitting down at the small table across from the bed. “I’m sure you’re not awful.”

“Oh, no, I am,” Yuki laughed, sitting down next to her. “I burn everything.”

“Well, look at that,” Uotani teased, flopping down on Tohru’s other side. “Prince Yuki has a fault . Alert the fangirls, they’ll lose their shit.”

“All men are fallible,” Hanajima said evenly, dark eyes boring into Yuki. “To be perfect is to be inhuman.”

Yuki swallowed roughly. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, but I guarantee I am incredibly fallible.”

With a snort, Uotani pulled out her notebook and reached around Tohru’s to softly smack Yuki with it. “We’re just giving you a hard time, Yun-Yun.”

“Yun-Yun?” Nobody called him that, except for Kagura when she wanted something.

“Uh, yeah,” Uotani said with a shrug. “I bet that’s what Kyoko would’ve called you.”

“Who?”

“Kyoko,” Hanajima said softly. “Tohru’s mom.”

“Oh.” There was a thick pause. Technically, everyone knew now that Torhu was an orphan, but Yuki wasn’t sure how many people knew how recently her mother had died. “Was she...a fan of giving people nicknames?”

All three girls smiled. “Yes, she was,” Tohru said fondly. “She’s why Uo and Hana go by Uo and Hana.”

“And she would absolutely love to tease you,” Uo said. “A little pretty boy like you wouldn’t have stood a chance.”

“She sounds...fun,” Yuki said.

“She was,” Uo agreed.

“Who’s this? I didn’t know you had more friends, Saki.”

Yuki turned to see a miniature Hanajima. Though his hair was short and his uniform that of the nearby middle school, the boy in the doorway looked exactly like his sister.

“Don’t be rude, Megumi,” Hanajima scolded lightly. “This is Yuki Sohma, our classmate. He’s going to use his status to gain us top academic scores.”

There was an uncomfortable silence, before Uotani laughed and said, “Prince Yuki is here to study with us.”

Tohru smiled at the boy. “Sohma, this is Megumi, Hana’s little brother.”

“Nice to meet you,” Yuki offered, but Megumi said nothing as he studied Yuki’s face.

“You have an unusual energy,” Megumi eventually said, face impassive. “Shall we have snacks?”

“Go get some rice crackers, kid,” Uo said. “You can join us if you study too.”

“Do you need help, Megumi?” Tohru asked. “I can help make tea.”

“Grandmother is already making some for you,” Megumi said. “I’ll see if she has any rice crackers.” He stood and left without fanfare, leaving Yuki feeling more stressed than he had earlier. What a strange boy .

“Love that kid,” Uotani said with a chuckle. “He talks like a old man.”

“When I was staying here, he’d offer to read me bedtime stories,” Tohru said. “It was very sweet, but funny coming from a little boy.”

“He’s an odd one,” Hanajima agreed. “I’m not sure where he gets it from…”

Yuki and Uotani exchanged a bemused look. “Alright, history,” Uotani said. “Someone quiz me.”

“I will!” Tohru grabbed her flashcards and held one up for Uotani. Yuki opened his own notes and tried to focus on them, but was quickly interrupted by Megumi returning with snacks and tea. The girls all cooed over him and told him to join them, so he silently squeezed in between his sister and Yuki, making no real effort to study as the high schoolers returned to their work.

“So, uh, Megumi,” Yuki said after a few minutes of Tohru and Uotani’s excited flashcard quizzing. “Do you also, uh...see waves?”

Megumi raised an eyebrow, but his expression did not change. “No. Saki controls waves.”

“Ah.” Yuki cleared his throat, unsure if he should continue talking.

“I, however, have studied the ancient art of curses,” Megumi continued, voice high and monotone. “All I need to curse a victim is their name.”

Yuki wondered if that was supposed to be a threat. Not that it mattered; he was already cursed.

“What do your curses do?” He asked, resting his hand in his palm. He glanced to the right, but Tohru was thoroughly absorbed in her flashcards, cheering every time Uotani got an answer correct.

“It depends,” Megumi said, not breaking eye contact. “Sometimes it renders the victim ill or in pain. Sometimes it causes them bad luck. Sometimes it makes them the target of negative energies.”

“What about...transformations?” Yuki asked, tapping his pencil against the table. “Can you curse someone to turn into an animal?”

“What, like a toad?” The boy looked unimpressed. “I’m not a witch.”

“I didn’t mean to imply you were,” Yuki backpedaled, holding his hands up in surrender. “It’s just...an interesting concept, don’t you think?”

Megumi tilted his head. “I suppose. To trap an enemy in a foreign vessel is a cruel torture.”

“But you’ve never…?”

“No.” Yuki felt his heart drop. “But it is a curious idea.”

It had been foolish to put any sort of expectations in this child Yuki had known for less than an hour. But just having someone outside his own family discuss curses so casually had sparked hope deep inside him.

Could there be others like him out there? Could this curse be broken? Could this curse be inflicted on someone else, a new family of unwitting monsters?

“Sohma!”

Tohru’s voice broke Yuki from his spiralling thoughts. She was smiling—she was always smiling—and pointed to one of her flashcards. “Can you help us with this one? The textbook gives two different dates for this, and we don’t know which is correct.”

Yuki took a deep breath and nodded, scooting over to look at the flashcards. He supposed it didn’t matter, really, if Megumi held the truth to his...hereditary affliction. For now, it was enough to sit by Tohru Honda and bask in her warmth.

***

Classes were over but Yuki had promised to help the class president with some budgeting, so he bid Tohru, Hanajima, and Uotani goodbye and headed towards the student council room, already dreading Takei-senpai’s overbearing nature.

As he crossed the walkway overlooking the school gate, Yuki noticed Tohru and Hanajima waving Uotani off as she sprinted off to get to her job on time. Tohru was laughing, swinging Hanajima’s hand as they meandered down the stairs at a slower pace. Yuki couldn’t help but smile at the scene, watching his friends—friends?—look so happy and carefree.

He turned to continue his return to the classroom when he noticed a boy standing a few yards away, eyes trained where Yuki’s had just been.

The kid was dark-haired and slouched against the wall, a couple file folders clutched loosely in his hand. He frowned, still watching Tohru and Hanajima. Yuki glanced at the girls again, noticing that Hanajima had separated from Tohru and Tohru now walked alone. Still, the boy’s gaze followed her, frown increasing, turning almost vicious.

It was that angry frown, Yuki would later claim, that spurred him into action. Crossing the walkway quickly and silently, Yuki dipped between the boy’s line of sight and Tohru, blocking her from view. The boy startled, blinking in surprise.

“Leave Tohru Honda alone,” Yuki hissed. “Whatever you want with her, drop it.”

The guy held his hands up. “Hey, hey, calm down, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You were watching her,” Yuki said, poking the boy in the chest angrily. “Leave her alone.”

“I wasn’t planning on starting shit,” the boy said. “Seriously, calm down, I’m not gonna hit on your girlfriend.”

“She’s not- Just- What do you want with her?” Yuki crossed his arm over his chest, face growing warm.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” the guy said with a smirk. “But she and I have a past.” He shouldered past Yuki, turning to add, “Don’t worry about it, Yuki Sohma. I’m not gonna talk to her.”

Before Yuki could respond, he winked and sauntered away, waving as if they’d just had a normal, casual conversation. Yuki sighed and glanced back out to where Tohru had been. She was gone, predictably, but a small part of him felt disappointed by her absence.

You’ll see her tomorrow , a small voice told him. This isn’t like before. She’s still here.

Yuki couldn’t stop the chill that ran down his spine. She was still here, for now. And Yuki would do whatever it took to keep her there, away from the clutches of the Sohma family and its curse.

#fruits basket fanfiction #fruits basket spoilers #fruits basket #furuba manga spoilers #yuki & tohru #anna writes things #x-posting from ao3

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peace-coast-island · 3 years

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Diary of a Junebug

A lesson in knowing your limits

Gyroid hunting, magic spells, mountain climbing, hanging with friends - all the makings of a fun campsite event! But as with all events, there's also the stress of getting things done in time.

Let's say that what happened earlier today served as a reminder to us that sometimes life gets too stressful and that there will be times where we don't have everything under control. That's not to say that this gyroid adventure hasn't been fun, but on top of all the other stuff that's been going on, it's hard to enjoy yourself when your mind is elsewhere.

Since opening the camp, I have developed a love/hate relationship with the holidays. And with this being a holiday event, we're in a bigger time crunch if we want to get everything set for Toy Day. There's also the fact that Daisy Jane and I are going back home to Rosevine for Emmaline and Minnie's wedding right after the festivities so that puts even more pressure on ourselves to finish things fast.

Joining us for our toy gyroid escapades are Almie, Pippa, and a new friend - Mariposa Silva! Her name means butterfly - isn't that pretty! Almie and Pippa talked about her a lot last time and I'm glad to finally meet her! The three are staying with us until Toy Day, which is in a couple days, so Daisy Jane and I will be leaving with them for home.

I can see why Pippa's all starry eyed over Mariposa and after what happened today, I think the two of them being friends is the best thing to ever happen to her in light of everything she's been through this year. Almie's been a good big brother to her but Pippa really needs someone who can understand her and Mariposa's the kind of friend who fits right in.

So Mariposa is a newcomer who's been living with Rosevine's notorious troublemaker witch Luna as her apprentice. Luna may act all tough but we all know she has a soft spot for us kids like Almie and Emmaline. Pippa's been training with Luna too as witchcraft and wizardry kinda overlap in some areas. I don't know what surprises me more - Luna taking in a teenage girl she randomly bumped into (literally) with no questions and teaching her magic or Luna agreeing to help Pippa (a wizard of all beings - in short, bad association with wizards) with her magic as well as teaching some witchcraft as well. Then again, for the latter, Luna and Almie are partners in crime so it makes sense that she has a soft spot for Pippa as well.

What makes Mariposa unique is that she's able to conjure magic despite not being magical herself, which takes a lot of work. It's not an easy feat for us ordinary people - believe me, I've tried (and tried)! Maybe there's hope for me but at this point I shouldn't get my hopes up too high. Because of life circumstances she has to bear since birth (she really has a way with words), Mariposa has mastered the art of improvisation.

Since she can't summon magic naturally like Luna and Pippa, Mariposa developed her own way of conjuring glyphs and such. So she has to do a little bit of extra work to cast a spell, which can complicate things a bit. There's a lot of things that can slow Mariposa down, however there's two that can't. First is the conjuring of spells - she's resourceful, creative, and super imaginative - when you can't make magic the traditional way, you gotta get crafty. Second is her right arm - or lack of.

In short, Mariposa was born with a bunch of health problems, a nonexistent right arm is one of them. At this point it's all just "blah, blah, blah" to her. She's spent sixteen years with one arm - her entire life - so whatever pitying thing someone wants to say to her, she's heard it all. Sure it might complicate conjuring magic in some situations but she just rolls with it. That's why she's so good at improvising, problem solving, and thinking way outside the box - something she believes is the universe's way of compensating for what she's been given.

For the past few days we've been hiking around the camp looking for gyroids. Mariposa and Pippa showed off some cool spells they learned from Luna while Almie told us about their latest shenanigans. Highlights include Pippa one-upping a frenemy of Luna's with a scalding hot burn, Almie offering to fix up Luna's car with some "embellishments" which may or may not have caused a wingbat uprising, and Mariposa accidentally awakening an ancient spirit while trying to impress Willow and Angie. And of course, we've been talking about the upcoming wedding.

Since I last saw Pippa, she's been getting her strength back. From being diagnosed with leukemia to suffering from complications as well as a near relapse, the past several months have been hard on her. Almie said that outside of family, Mariposa and Angie, and later Willow, were a great deal of help - especially Mariposa. It's so good to see Pippa out and about, almost like how she was before she got sick.

I guess sometimes we're so focused on trying to get things back to normal after getting thrown off that we don't always realize that in many cases, there's no going back. With Pippa keeping up with her studies, practicing her magic, and helping out with the wedding, it seems like everything's back to normal. Aside from having to keep up with meds and appointments and such, Pippa's well on her way to recovery.

Of course, looks can be deceiving. While Pippa is doing well, she still has to be careful not to wear herself out too much. The wedding's been a bit of an incentive for her to stay healthy, especially since she's a bridesmaid - so she's been keeping busy helping Soph with planning the reception and everything. Pippa's a hard worker but she has a bad habit of putting herself last.

The main reason why Almie wanted to come back to the camp was to give Pippa a chance to relax. He's been protective of Pippa since her hospitalization due to other people's carelessness regarding her health. So he wasn't too happy when Pippa admitted to him a couple days ago that she slipped up by missing her meds a couple times over the past few weeks. He said she'd tell him if something was wrong but seeing that she's been trying to keep on schedule for the most part, she should be okay.

While the past couple days were fun, it was clear that the cracks were starting to show. A combined mess of stress from personal life stuff, holidays, the gyroid event, and the upcoming wedding hit us all at once. My mind was elsewhere, worrying about getting stuff done - it can be draining.

Mariposa was the one who helped us refocus by sitting Pippa down and setting some hard truths for her. Almie was right to be concerned about Pippa overworking herself. I get that she's been feeling stuck in a rut so anything to break her out of that monotony is a welcome change. It's good to try to get back on track but you can't force it. From the way she was jumping up and down and climbing all over the place, you'd think we were being timed on finding gyroids.

Exhaustion has a way of wearing you down, physical and mental. If we had health bars hanging over our heads, Pippa's would be almost depleted. And if I'm being honest, mine's probably in the red zone too. Almie and Daisy Jane are likely in red too while Mariposa's probably in yellow. To be honest, I think everyone in the camp's either a red or yellow - it's just one of these days.

So Pippa overestimated herself and eventually reached a point where she couldn't just get back up and act like everything's fine. As in, she fell off a tree, landing hard on her back and was unable to move for a few seconds, scaring the hell out of everyone. Thankfully she doesn't have a concussion or broken bones but she'll be really sore and bruised tomorrow. By then I figured that we collected enough gyroids for the day so we headed back to the camp despite Pippa's protests.

Almie's usually a pretty chill guy so seeing him go off on Pippa was... let's just say I'm glad we all cleared out when they both started raising their voices. When things started getting out of hand, Mariposa decided to step in for a bit. What she said to Pippa had me thinking about accepting your limits.

Basically what Mariposa's saying is that we can't measure our worth by our productivity. If anyone knows how Pippa feels about stagnating due to circumstances out of control, it's Mariposa.

She got it through to Pippa that it's okay to fall short of expectations. I get that it's frustrating when you try to set goals for yourself, only to fail - but you just gotta accept that sometimes things don't work out and it's not your fault. I know that Pippa can be hard on herself, especially since this year has been turned upside down for her.

Mariposa also brought up a good point about the whole don't let your disabilities and illnesses stop you from being accomplished. It's one of those things that's supposed to be encouraging but does more harm than good. Because there will be days when your disabilities will stop you from achieving what you want. There will be times when you're forced to put your life on hold while the world is unsympathetic to your battles. You have to learn how to accept that it's okay to step back and accept that there are things beyond your capability - and that you shouldn't be shamed for that.

In other words, it's important to know your limits. Wise words from the witch in training, something we all need to be reminded of.

Once it seemed like Mariposa's words got through to Pippa, we stepped aside so the siblings can have a moment alone. To keep ourselves busy, I took Mariposa to the Marketplace to craft Toy Day stuff with Reese, Cyrus, and Jingle, which she had a blast doing. After making a bunch of toys we headed to the cabin and put together gift boxes.

It was nice getting to know Mariposa on a one on one basis during that time. Almie and Pippa weren't exaggerating with her wild, creative, and daring imagination. Who knew that there could be so many ways to wrap gift boxes? We got to talking about a lot of stuff, like how she's enjoying staying with Luna, Skully, and Owly, her magic training, Willow and Angie - she's only been in town for a short time and it feels like she's been part of the Rosevine gang since forever!

Also, she has met Emmaline and Minnie so she's definitely on the guest list. Actually she's coming as Luna's plus one since she met the couple after the list was finalized. Though knowing how Emmaline makes friends like bees to honey, Soph made extra sure to accommodate for a growing guest list - which I'm pretty sure has doubled since the invitations went out!

Once we finished with the gift boxes, we headed back to the campsite. Pippa and Almie finally worked things out and were back to their old, playful, bickering ways. They surprised us with desserts - Toy Day themed cookies and mochi! After having a busy couple days hunting gyroids, we decided to take it easy with a cozy bonfire dinner.

Nothing like freshly baked cookies and mulled cider to unwind after a stressful week!

#animal crossing #animal crossing pocket camp #Diary of a Junebug #headcanon ramble

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moons2stars · 4 years

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Betty Cooper’s Character Study (Ignoring the latest episode)

Because I am choosing to ultimately ignore cannon from this point on as they disregarded Betty’s character, and I need some postivity. So I am going to go into detail on Betty’s characterization, and head cannons. I am in no way justifying cheating or dismissing anyone’s pain, but I am just emphasizing that our Betty would never cheat. We all know this, but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded. Obviously this is all my opinion, and feel free to add on.

Betty Cooper is a very complicated character who is initially presented as the perfect girl next door with a crush on her childhood friend and neighbor.

While the show has many faults with depicting mental health, and following through I think her charter set up was really well done. Another thing about Betty is her need for perfection. Her mother always expects the best from her, and I think it sets up some of her trauma.

However, there is way more to her character than a bubbly,kind, and idealistic girl who is second best to Archie. Her crush on Archie was I think based on an ideal version of love. Of course she was raised to uphold a certain image. i think Archie matched what she thought love looked like. She has an inner darkness that she doesn’t know what to do with, and is loyal to a fault. She feels the need to find justice, and stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. The girl nearly drowned Chuck, because he hurt her sister. When she finds something wrong or threatening she goes all in even if the truth hurts her. She doesn’t give up.

When Betty, and Jughead get together she goes all in. She even throws Jughead a surprise Birthday party which goes poorly, but it sets up even more development between the two. She is able to open up about her self harming. When Jughead’s dad gets arrested, she is there for him in many ways, and stands up for both Jug and his dad. While she has concerns about Jughead joining the Serpents, she supports him in every way. She even tries joining the Serpents to become part of his world. Yes, I know we also disregard that whole cringy strip dance, but I do think Betty had good tensions. The point is that when Betty loves someone she goes all in. In season three, Betty and Jughead show that they are stronger than ever, and constantly take on things together. In season 4 she urges him to go to Stonewall, because they are strong and will get through anything. She proofs his stories, and show unwavering support. there are so many other amazing Bughead moments I didn’t include, but I’d be here forever. Of course, Jughead is an amazing boyfriend but for now I am analyzing Betty’s character.

How I relate to Betty

Honestly, I think Betty is the character I’ve related to the most. She is kind, and I think people underestimate her which I can really relate to. She feels the need to accommodate to everyone’s needs, and has her set of family problems. I think she just makes me feel seen, and heard.

Head Cannons I have decided about Betty with the influence of the fandom

Bad at Baking- I know this is probably unpopular, and even though I love fics where Betty bakes I don’t think she does. I don’t think her mom would be the type to let her bake, and if Betty tried Alice would probably think she was doing it wrong and take over. I think when she is feeling rebellious, and she wants to make Jug a cake or something she tries, and fails miserably. Juggie probably pokes fun at her for it.

A blanket hogger/ bed hogger- This one I do agree with. Betty either kicks the blanket off the bed or snatches them from Jug, but he still shares the blanket with her even though she proposes they use two separate ones. I have this feeling that she also spreads out like a starfish. She probably accidentally kicks Jug in her sleep, but he can’t be mad.

Scary Movie Freak- We all know Jug loves scary movies or all movies for that matter, but I have a feeling that Betty loves watching them. When Jug let’s her pick the movie she almost always goes for scary. After all, she’s all about the beast within.

Idealistic- Okay so this one is pretty obvious, but I think Betty sees the best in everyone until they give her a weird vibe. I think she probably trusts too much.

Big Appetite- So I can’t really pin point why I have this belief, but I just do. She is a polite eater, but she can eat like half her weight. She doesn’t do it often, because her mother never let her, and it wasn’t ladylike, but once she got with Jug she constantly ate with him. She’d probably give him her extra food just cause she knows he likes eating off her plate, but the girl can eat.

Sock fanatic- Again I can’t pinpoint this, but Betty is always wearing socks. Even in bed she just always wears them. Jug probably teases her for wearing them in bed, but she just gets cold feet.

Little Spoon- Betty Cooper is a little spoon, and you cannot convince me other wise. I mean it’s cannon.

Okay so those were only some of my head cannons so I hope you enjoyed. This ends my whole meta on all my thoughts about Betty. To be honest there are way more, but I’d be here forever. If you’d like to add anything please do, and tag me I’d like to see it. maybe I’ll even do one on Jug. This is a crazy time, and everyone copes differently, but just know you don’t have to accept what doesn’t make you happy. I had a lot of thoughts, and I had to break down why I fell in love with Betty’s character in the first place. The bottom line is that we as a fandom have a lot more interest in seeing justice in Betty’s characterization than the writers. So just remember that, and know that Bughead is still alive here. not only did I fall in love with Bughead, and Betty but I fell in love with the fandom as well. so on that parting note, I love you all.

#betty cooper #riverdale #My writing #Okay so this is kind of a ted talk #but also a character study #Bughead #betty cooper headcannon

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moonlitgleek · 5 years

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Thank god someone finally said it! Catelyn was a HORRIBLE wife, a worse mother, and an even worse person. The most tragic and overlooked aspect of Ned's story is that he got saddled with her. It made his life miserable, and brought ruin to his house and seven kingdoms as a whole. Getting his head cut off might even be a mercy compared to coming back home and living the rest of his life with THAT. Then again, if it weren't for her, his head wouldn't have been cut in the first place.

Sometimes I really hate this damn site.

You know, it’s people like you that cripple discussion of nuanced or complicated characters through the tendency to take every bit of criticism as a confirmation of your hate and an invitation to spew it all over everyone. I shouldn’t be wary of openly criticizing a character for fear that those who hate them would misconstrue my words and use it to fuel their nonsense arguments, which happens near every time I think to criticize someone, especially when it’s a female character. Even when I specifically say that that I don’t think this character a bad person like in this case. Did you miss the last paragraph of my post? Did you miss the entirety of @secretlyatargaryen‘s post? Because it has been reiterated that Cat is not a bad person or a bad mother. The point is not to bash Catelyn as you seem interested in doing but to point out that her actions with Jon are wrong and that they affected more than just Jon. But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that someone who calls a woman “that” as if she is some thing and who seems invested in blaming her for everything she does is only interested in using our criticism to disparage and vilify Cat.

By the way, your message is as factually inaccurate as it is disgusting, anon. Let’s break it down.

Fallacy #1: Ned was saddled with Catelyn.

In a society that cares not a whit about women’s consent or feelings, it’s almost amusing that you think that it’s the man who gets saddled with the woman. Between Ned and Catelyn, guess which one had any kind of power in the situation? Ned. Hoster Tully might have demanded that Ned honor the betrothal to Catelyn as a price for his support in the war but it was still Ned’s choice to accept or refuse. But the rebels needed the Riverlands if they wanted to win the war, you say. Sure, and Ned made a choice for strategic reasons, but he still had the space to make the choice. Do you think that Catelyn did? Do you think Hoster bothered to ask her if she minded marrying the brother of the guy that she has been betrothed to for years and grew up expecting to marry? Do you think he bothered to consider that it’s callous to marry his daughter off so soon after her betrothed died and to his own brother? And even if he did, a woman who was raised with Family, Duty, Honor so hammered into her psyche and who, like every other woman in Westeros, was raised on how her place was to marry someone of her father’s choosing stands no chance. The system is broken and Catelyn Tully is as much its victim as any other woman in Westeros.

Fallacy #2: Catelyn made Ned miserable and his death was a mercy compared to being with her.

What an egregious (and delusional) thing to say that Ned is better off dead than being with the woman he loves and the children he adores. What an awful thing to say that anything pertaining to Ned’s death is a mercy. The man’s death was a knife to the hearts of his wife and children, but you think it’s better for him than the company of the wife he literally spends a book yearning for. That’s messed up.

I don’t know what book you’ve read or what you’re basing your claims on, but in my copy, Ned Stark is a man who clearly loves and values his wife as a person. He builds a sept for her because he respects her and wants her to have the comfort of her gods. There is a great deal of affection and comfort that shines through their interactions, and clear evidence in Catelyn’s second chapter in AGoT that Ned seeks and enjoys her company. In my copy, I see a guy who shows tremendous political trust in his wife that he leaves Winterfell and the North in her hands when he leaves with the expectation that she would continue Robb’s education and who trusts her to start mobilizing the Northern banners. I see a guy who reacts in wonderment to seeing Catelyn in King’s Landing, and constantly reflects on how he wishes he is with her during his tenure as Hand. I see Catelyn occupying Ned’s thoughts in his imprisonment that one of his regrets is that he’ll never see her again. If that’s being miserable, sign me up. For more of Ned’s so-called misery in his marriage, please refer to this post.

But Jon Snow, right? Yes, but Jon Snow. Jon’s presence has always been a point of conflict between Ned and Cat but that does not change the nature of their relationship. No one says that a loving happy marriage doesn’t have its problems or that it has to be perpetually conflict-free. Also, don’t forget that Jon’s presence in Winterfell was by Ned’s own decision. I’m not saying that Ned was wrong to bring Jon to Winterfell and I’m very sympathetic to his reasons and respectful of his desire to do right by an innocent child, I have a lot of respect for the man precisely because he acted as a father to Jon and gave him a family. But I’m under no illusion that this didn’t come at Catelyn’s expense, which is something that Ned himself was aware of. I am critical of how Cat treated Jon Snow, but it’s important to see that she wasn’t in the best situation either, because this is just another sign of how little control or say she had, even in her own home. The entire situation was inherently imperfect but while I do fault Cat for taking out her lack of control on the one person who had less control that she did and who also happens to be an innocent child, I’m not unsympathetic to her pain and anger over Ned’s indiscretions or to her fear for her children. The patriarchy says that Catelyn should accept that her husband would cheat on her, that this is a situation that she has to accept and has no right to change because her husband has the power, that she can’t be angry and resentful of Ned for the situation. For the sake of her marriage, for the sake of her children, Catelyn had to let go of her anger towards Ned but that anger does not disappear just because she pushed it down, so she redirected it onto the living reminder of her husband’s nominal infidelity who also happens to be a reminder of her lack of control. That is not an excuse for her actions with Jon that are objectively wrong but it is an explanation that shows that Catelyn is not inherently a bad person. She is a victim of her society and its social construct, which is one reason that makes her abuse of Jon gutting to me, since Jon is also a victim of their society and its social construct. Cat took her own disadvantage on the one person who was more disadvantaged than her. I can’t fault anyone for having negative feelings towards her over that particular situation since she was essentially kicking down at Jon and taking her problems out on a child, but this is far more complicated than “Catelyn is an evil person”.

Fallacy #3: Catelyn was a bad mother and person.

People are more complicated than the binary of “infallible” and “monster” that you seem to be operating on. Good people can make grievous mistakes regardless of their good intentions, and it’s not like those mistakes suck out their morality with them. Catelyn’s parenting wasn’t perfect. She pressures Arya to conform out of a conventional viewpoint and a desire to see her daughter lead a good life (as does Ned, btw), but ends up harming Arya. Her grief over Bran’s fall and coma and her exhaustion in keeping a vigil by his bedside puts pressure on Robb and hurts Rickon. Her abuse of Jon echoes through the family and inadvertently hurts her own children. Even the well-intentioned fail sometimes. Would you care to hear about the times Ned did too?

However, it remains that Catelyn’s entire character is build around her love for her family and her dedication to her children. She throws herself between an armed man and her comatose child with no thought to her life. She is constantly tormented by her distance from Bran and Rickon and blames herself for not being there for them. She is literally the only one who thinks that Sansa and Arya’s lives are worth trading against Jaime Lannister’s. She wants nothing but to send Robb to safety when she meets up with his army but recognizes that this would be extremely bad for his position. She bargains for Robb’s life while injured and spares no thought to her own life in the process. She refuses to accept that Arya is dead and holds out hope for her return. She champions Robb’s cause and does her level best to guide him, but also affords him space to grown on his own and is greatly proud of his leadership. No, I don’t consider Cat a bad parent at all, even with her mistakes. Those errors were a result of parental frailty and misguided protectiveness.

Questioning Cat’s personality in general doesn’t hold up either. She defends and befriends Brienne. She tries to reassure Edmure that their father loves and is proud of him. She feels guilty after Rickard Karstark kills the Lannister prisoners and feels his accusations acutely. She empathizes with Jeyne and reassures her of her place despite her displeasure with the marriage. She feels sadness for Mya Stone’s innocence over her doomed love with Mychel Redfort. There are places where Cat’s empathy fail her but if I denounce everyone who has a moment of failed empathy or who ever does a morally questionable thing, I’d be dismissing every single character in this entire series as a bad person. There are no perfect people in GRRM’s narrative, so what makes Cat’s imperfections specifically worthy of condemnation?

Fallacy #4: Catelyn should be blamed for Ned’s death, the ruin of House Stark and the Seven Kingdoms.

Right. Tyrion’s arrest. That did not start the war because the war was already in the works before the royal family even arrives in Winterfell.

I’m growing increasingly irritated with the tendency to blame any random Stark for the war which builds on deliberate dismissal of what everyone else was doing that led to the war. Sorry to say but the war was inevitable even if Catelyn never seizes Tyrion. It was inevitable because Stannis knew that the royal children were illegitimate and was preparing for war. It was inevitable because Renly knew that the royal children were illegitimate and was preparing for his own takeover. That guarantees a showdown with Tywin and the rest of the Lannisters no matter what, and puts Stannis and Renly on opposite sides. Don’t forget that Littlefinger and Varys were invested in pitting the Starks and the Lannisters against each other for their own gain as well. The entire situation was a powder keg waiting to blow long before any Stark stepped a foot in King’s Landing.

Blaming Catelyn, or any Stark really, for the War of the Five Kings and all it brought only serves to exonerate those who are responsible for it. Jaime and Cersei have an affair, pass their children as royal heirs and kill to maintain that fallacy. Jaime pushes Bran out of a window and Joffrey tries to have him killed. Cersei plots to have Robert killed and puts her plan into motion before Ned even finds out about the twincest. Baelish encourages Lysa to poison Jon Arryn and frame the Lannisters, then lies about the owner of the dagger used in the attempt of Bran’s life. He betrays Ned to Cersei and conspires till he gets Joffrey to kill Ned. Tywin Lannister sends men to burn and pillage the Riverlands, then plans with the Freys and the Boltons to murder Robb and his army at a wedding. Balon Greyjoy decides that avenging himself on a dead man is the height of power and embarks on an idiotic campaign in the North. Theon betrays the Starks and seizes Winterfell. Imagine having all that awfulness and all these contributing players to the war, but somehow finding the war Catelyn’s fault. Yes, I know the reasoning is that her arrest of Tyrion put the Starks and the Lannisters in open conflict and “made” Tywin attack the Riverlands. Except that Catelyn is not responsible for the fact that the Lannister go-to method is to commit war crimes and go stabby. A normal person could have protested Tyrion’s arrest to the king and painted the Starks as the aggressors but no, Tywin Lannister makes his own laws and he chooses to take it out on the Tullys’ smallfolk. That’s on him. Also, are we going to pretend that the Starks and the Lannisters weren’t already poised for a conflict after two attacks on Bran’s life? Or that Ned’s discovery of the twincest and his execution on Joffrey’s orders wasn’t going to drag the Starks into the war anyway?

Fun fact: of all the fighting factions in the War of the Five Kings, it’s Catelyn Stark who tries repeatedly to put a stop to the war. She pleads for peace in Robb’s council. She tries to broker an alliance between Robb and Renly, and points out that no one but Robb is doing a thing to protect the people against the Lannisters. She tries to get the Baratheon brothers to unify and reach an accord because common sense says that they all of them have the same enemy, and their conflict benefits no one but the Lannisters. Catelyn does not start the war, but she sure tries to end it. Sadly, no one listens to her.

Now please don’t come to me again with your victim-blaming, character bashing arguments.

#asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #catelyn stark #ned stark #robb stark #arya stark #sansa stark #bran stark #jon snow #hoster tully #the war of the five kings #stark family dynamics #ask box #Anon asks

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wwwafflewrites · 5 years

Text

The Not-So-French Mistake

Chapter 7: Inner Demons

Castiel devoured his cheeseburger like Famine had strolled into town.

As for Sam, he was grinning into a biteful of food as he stabbed another with his fork, and then proceeded to jab a few sweet peppers in amusement. Pasta salads were a rare treat when on the road. Dean usually protested against his healthy habits, but it was no use. Sam preferred naturally sweetened foods over the artificial pounds of meat, grease, and cholesterol Dean usually supported.

He cast his eyes from his meal to his laptop screen for a moment, mapping out Bobby's present location. “His cell is at a warehouse about seven hours from here. It's a long drive. You sure you don't want to stake out at a motel for the night? I mean, we can't search for Bobby if we're sleep deprived.”

“No. Unless you feel it wiser. I'll be alright.” Cas assured and then gestured toward the burger in his hands. “Thank you for this, Sam. I appreciate it.” A frail string of cheese laced onto Castiel's lip as he spoke. He pulled the burger further away, letting the line of softened cheese thin out until it snapped, latching onto the bottom of his chin. Cas made a huff, frowning at his nose in regard to the loose strand of cheddar.

“It's nothing, Cas,” Sam dismissed contentedly, relieved that Castiel was satisfied. His angelic friend had been uncomfortable in the car, whiny snarls resonating from his stomach. Sam disliked watching him hunch into himself, a pinching expression similar to pain decorating his face.

Castiel set his burger down respectfully, adding emphasis to his seriousness. He softly disagreed, shaking his head. “No, Sam. It isn’t ‘nothing’.”

While the added finger-quotes were a tad hysterical in the sincerity of the moment, Sam listened without a crack of a smile breaking along his face. Cas was serious, so he was as well.

“I... understand I am difficult as a human. This was all very sudden, and I am unfortunately slow to adapt. Hunger is foreign… and these, inner emotions of turmoil and guilt… I was capable of feeling as an angel, but this…” he struggled to explain, “Sam, I constantly feel this… panic, and it’s all very compressing within my vessel.” He took a breath. “Every nerve reacts to my being, and they bring overwhelming sensations. How do you cope with such complicated feelings?” Castiel almost looked distraught.

Sam held a soft, understanding gaze. “Cas, you’re anything but difficult. Sure, you’re not used to being human, but you’re our friend. You’re no burden to us. We can teach you.”

Cas looked uncertain. “I am also unsure of the social customs among humans. I had once believed I understood, but there are so many rules. Hidden, unspoken rules which determine your functionality. And the lying… I cannot even begin with how to lie…”

Sam set his fork in his dish, rolling a lone pasta noodle in thought. “It's about the body language. Looking nervous or tense tends to give you away. Hesitating doesn't help. The genuine expressions are what tells a lie from a truth. Not that lying is all that great, but sometimes it's necessary for cases.”

Cas nodded, worn. “Thank you, Sam. You have been very kind to me,” he murmured.

“You're welcome, Cas. Anytime.”

By the time they had finished their meal, the sun was touching the horizon, ambers and ochres illuminating the landscape. The clouds reflected salmon pinks and dusty blues. While the noontime sun had set a nightmare upon the previous town, the sunset was gorgeous. Sam admired the sky as if it were a delicate acrylic painting. Geese flew in an uneven V above the stolen truck, faint honks ringing into the evening air.

Cas fell asleep on the drive, his head lolling onto the window, sometimes jolting forward and startling him awake until he was lulled to sleep once again by the engine's purr and the setting sun's warmth blanketing his skin. It was no Impala, but drive was smooth and the road was velvety.

Sam knew angels shouldn't sleep, and that he should be concerned over Castiel's recent humanity, but all he could manage was guilty contentment. Castiel was rarely so peaceful.

When Dean slept, he either looked like he was ready to stab you in the gut or he was stupidly drooling on a pillow with his morning hedgehog hair at attention. But… that was Dean.

Castiel woke drowsily to silver lines of clouds weaving into the horizon, having furrowed downward into the silhouettes of spindly trees. Looming shadows and blinding streetlamps flickered past as the night defeated the light. He knew that as the sky darkened, so did Sam's thoughts.

Sluggishly, he shifted his head toward Sam, still leaning against the door of the vehicle. “Sam?”

Sam startled a bit, as if snapping out of lost, intense thoughts. “Yeah, Cas?”

“Are you alright?” He needed the truth.

Sam stared at the road, letting the silence envelope the innocent question until he whispered, “No. No, I'm really not.”

Castiel nestled his head between his chair and the window. “I suspected such. You seemed troubled after we left Sydney.”

Sam shifted his hands along the steering wheel. “She just… she dug up a lot of memories that I'd buried, you know? She's struggling… like I was… with the, uh, with the demon blood.”

Castiel shot a soulful look at Sam, sympathy washing over his features.

Sam paused thoughtfully. “You know… I used to really believe that I was a freak. Everyone knew it. Even you knew it. I was titled ‘the boy with the demon blood’ before I could walk. But then, I thought: maybe I can make that part of me my strength. Maybe I can use it to save people. I trusted Ruby, I trusted my powers, and ended up unleashing the one thing I was trying to stop. The one thing that caused me the most pain. The most sacrifice. The one ghost, to this day, that still haunts me.”

“Sam…” Guilt bled into Castiel’s features. “Others led you on that path. It wasn’t your fault.”

“And it’s kind of funny. You’d think I’d be worried about vampires, or demons, or witches. Every monster that I face daily. I’ve lived my whole life hunting the creatures that lurk behind people's shadows. But no, it’s the creature lurking behind my shadow. It’s the devil that haunts my sleep. It’s Satan. Lucifer gives me nightmares.”

“Sam.” Cas pleaded.

“But, it’s not even the nightmares... I’m just… I’m afraid Sydney will fear herself like I did once, and she’ll just wind up inflicting more pain―more suffering. I’m afraid she’s going to unleash her own Satan, you know? I’m terrified that it’ll be something that we can’t fight with bullets or brawn.” Sam’s eyes never left the road, deep-threaded pain shimmering along the whites of his eyes. His fists clenched the steering wheel like a life-source. “I don’t want anyone to go through that, Cas. The guilt I felt…” his voice cracked shamefully. “I don’t want her thinking she’s a freak. I can see it in her eyes. It’s the exact same look I saw in the mirror during the apocalypse.” Tears pooled in his eyes, his lashes dampening, but nothing dropped. “Nobody should ever feel that. Because not only can you not trust the world, but you can’t trust yourself. And that's scary.”

Castiel silenced as Sam’s heavy final words sank in. The thought invaded Castiel’s heart like a worm―a parasite―shimmying into the crevices of his aching soul. Not that Castiel had a soul, only humans had such, but it felt like it. And past Castiel’s brave face and stony appearance, his grace wept for Sam Winchester. He wept for Sam's losses, for his sorrow, for his fear, for his centuries of pain and torture in the Cage. He wept for Sam Winchester because Sam Winchester deserved to be wept for.

Unfortunately, Sam did not see past the hardened facade of Castiel's vessel.

Hours past. Cas frequently volunteered to drive, but Sam insisted he was ‘okay’ and he was ‘fine’. However, after his confession, it was clear he was far from such a claim.

Sam finally shredded the burdened silence with a sigh. “How are you holding up, Cas?”

Cas seemed genuinely flustered. “Me?”

Sam nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah. I think we've heard enough of my baggage for one night. Anything been bothering you lately?”

Cas wondered if there wasn't something that bothered him lately, but he replied, “Other than my wings having been reduced to nothing but feather dusters, I am adjusting.” The angel was rather proud of that metaphor (even though he’s stolen it from Dean).

Sam let his brow lower in puzzlement. “How can you still have wings and not be able to fly?”

Castiel was thankful for the questions he could answer. “My grace allows me to bend distances. so I can fly into the next space within the matter of a microsecond. Much like the theory of black holes. Picture taking a string as a representation of two distances, and then folding the string until both ends meet. I allow two places to become one.”

“Interesting.”

Cas continued to explain it simply, “Sigils generally control the bending of space. Whether it be banishing an angel or preventing it from entering warded areas. They hold an aura we cannot break unless disassembled. It targets our platform, if you will.”

“Platform?”

“You could say it's a layer of existence. It is very… complex. Difficult to visualize.

“Our blades, for example, exist in many platforms. Our grace, however, lives on one. Since only a shadow of our grace remains on this platform, normal weapons will not penetrate it. Normal weapons will only harm the vessel, and our grace will work to stitch the wound immediately.” Cas tried to aid Sam in visualizing it in a way he could understand. “There are other platforms, but they are generally irrelevant. Picture them as layers to reality.

“Simply put, a blade can kill grace as long as it exists on the same platform. They cannot penetrate shadows of grace,” he took a heavy breath. “It gets much more complicated when you visualize alternate universes as layers going vertically. Sydney managed to jump those layers when she entered our reality.” He added, “Humans cannot jump horizontal platforms without dying. Such as heaven or hell.”

Sam made a left turn, headlights sweeping across the barren, deserted asphalt. Sam was unsure if grace could apply to physics, but Castiel's description definitely granted him a vague insight on how it worked. “So when your grace drains…”

With the turn, Cas was nudged further into the window as inertia gently pulled him right. “Our vessels rely on human behaviors. Eating, sleeping. Just as human souls do. The less grace, the more human we become. Currently, my grace is very compressed and useless, but present. I believe something within the town was limiting my grace to become completely unavailable to me. I believe now that we have left the town, it is beginning to unravel. I should be able to utilize my grace's abilities very soon.”

Sam looked relieved to hear that. After a minute of thought, he conjured another curious question. “Do platforms apply to dreams?”

Cas nodded into the window. “Yes. That is its own platform. A complicated one. It merges both conscious and unconscious thoughts, depending on your state. It's a platform your soul is in charge of. Hence why those who are soulless do not dream.”

“Demons?”

“Lucifer created them to live amongst their own platform. Your demon knife exists on theirs.” He paused. “I suppose angel blades do as well. The Colt was designed to target their platform, and all other monsters’. There are very few things the Colt can't kill.”

“Witchcraft?”

“Witches discovered they could control platforms with specific spells. They generally target humanity’s.”

They continued the one-sided game of questionnaire until the questions ran dry. Admittedly, they were both thankful for the distraction.

The sun had yet to rise. Pale mountains of clouds had piled along the skyline, their peaks just barely cutting into the sky. Murky darkness had faded into pale, noticeable splotches of cobalt and a modest tone of lime. It was roughly five in the morning, dawn not having broken yet.

Castiel yawned, removing himself from his somewhat suitable pillow for the everlasting night, the window. He stretched, joints cracking and popping as he extended his stiff muscles. “I can understand why most humans abhor mornings.”

Sam parked, squinting at the warehouse that stood three blocks from the hunter. He scanned the windows for movement, and upon finding none, he bundled his gear in preparation for a fight. He squared his shoulders..

“Let’s get Bobby back."

Tags: @queen-bubble, @rosaren2498

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dropintomanga · 4 years

Text

“My Broken Mariko” Reveals a Broken Real World

“I’m so broken...I don’t know where to start fixing myself anymore.”

As someone who’s experienced thoughts of suicidal ideation, I can say that Waka Hirako’s My Broken Mariko is a title that hits me harder than most media do when it comes to the topic of suicide. The manga, which I think is one of the best manga of 2020, does not hold any hands throughout the story and there’s so much to unpack. Reading this has made me think about my thought process on suicide and my belief that suicide is a very systemic issue that involves everyone.

My Broken Mariko is about a young woman named Tomoyo Shiino, who just found out her best friend since childhood, Mariko Ikagawa, killed herself a week after they hung out. Filled with despair and unable to process Mariko’s death, Tomoyo decides to go to visit the home of Mariko’s parents and steal Mariko’s ashes from them. Mariko had a history of being abused ever since she was little, so Tomoyo felt it was her duty to free Mariko from that burden. After taking Mariko’s ashes, Tomoyo goes on a journey to a place called Marigaoka Cape as she remembers Mariko wanted to go there with her. Tomoyo goes through hell and back to let Mariko’s ashes be free in nature, but she does eventually start to realize that the best way to honor Mariko’s life is to keep living.

I’m not sure where to start with this. I’ve read multiple interviews with Waka Hirako since there was a good amount of promotion for My Broken Mariko. I wasn’t prepared for how absolutely realistic this story was. And I’m glad for that. Mariko’s history of being abused by her parents (and also a boyfriend when was an adult) shows how prevalent victim-blaming is. Mariko tells Tomoyo that her parents blame her for acting in ways that aren’t to their standards. Everything’s her fault, Mariko says. While Tomoyo was there to support her, Mariko didn’t have extra help beyond that. She had no one else, professional and/or peer-wise, who can empathize with her struggles. Mariko felt too defined by her circumstances to the point where she didn’t know who to turn to anymore for the help she truly needed.

In one moment of her journey to Marigaoka Cape, Tomoyo lashes out in anger at Mariko and herself at a bar. The words she says made me think about how suicide is treated by almost everyone.

“My memories of her keep fading away, even as I stand here! I’ll only remember her as perfect...even though - I thought she was such a pain...so many times..!”

The last part where Tomoyo where she said that Mariko was annoying due to her constant troubles says a lot. Almost everyone doesn’t know how to deal with heavy issues. We’re not equipped to talk about darkness because emotions are placed in this dichotomy of being either good or bad. I sometimes thinks no one wants to admit that we might end up in bad situations ourselves compared to anyone we love who’s suffering/has suffered.

I’ve been thinking a lot of suicide prevention lately as suicide rates continue to rise despite more awareness and helplines. There’s a question posed by a mental health professional about where to go with dealing with loss in this Mad in America article about suicide hotlines tracing calls to the harm of disenfranchised people who need help.

“Is it the path where everyone is so terrified to talk about suicide because of consequences, like having the cops called on you even by confidential hotlines? Or is it the path where we know that we’re going to lose people, and we create as much space as we possibly can to be with people in darkness and talk openly about this and support people?”

I wondered if people like Mariko were so afraid to talk about their emotional pain due to fear of consequences. I also wondered if people like Tomoyo are unable to deal with so much darkness. I remember how I was hospitalized back then and how my high school friends all distanced themselves from me slowly but surely. No one wanted to put up with my mental illness back then.

Also, I wanted to kill myself back in 2016. I made an awful mistake of saying that I wanted to die on Twitter. I thought someone wanted me dead. A colleague of mine thankfully called a hotline for help. Police actually came to my door that night after midnight. I calmed myself before then after realizing I couldn’t do it. My interaction with the cops ended up with no consequences.

To be honest, I’m afraid of dealing with cops and hospitals due to my mental illness. I didn’t enjoy my hospital experience because it felt so limiting. I also realized at the time, my mental illness wasn’t as bad as it was initially perceived. I did discuss that I faked hearing voices in my head for attention. It’s tricky for professionals to handle cases like me because you do have to take things seriously when it comes to mental illness.

But I also realize that the mental health system is sometimes too standardized for its own good. A bunch of its solutions do not work well with people (especially minorities) that experience trauma from societal circumstances. A mental health treatment that works well with middle-class white folks may not work at all with a black person stuck in poverty. Yes, Mariko was so broken that she was beyond help. But what if the help she got wasn’t enough or made things worse?

I loved how Tomoyo tells Mariko in her own mind that it was never her fault and that it was the people in her life that projected their insecurities onto her. Tomoyo does wish that Mariko asked her to die alongside her. I can’t blame her for thinking that as there’s so much hyper-individualism ruining what it means to connect with someone in a meaningful way. Tomoyo and Mariko had a genuine friendship that was still maintained despite their evolving lives.

At the end of the story, Tomoyo opens up a final letter from Mariko mailed to her before she died and the contents of the letter are unknown to the reader. All we see is Tomoyo’s response, “Mm-hmm,” while she holds the letter to her face. It’s very open-ended, but I think that’s the point. Human beings are complicated creatures full of entanglements that make and/or break them. We all have kinds of feelings that can’t be easily labeled despite whatever perception is given of us. We’re all open-ended in our own ways.

That’s why I wish more people “open up” and realize that suicide is a people problem. There’s people who say having suicidal thoughts is abnormal. Let me say this - if you are oppressed by all kinds of stressors and impacts that are usually caused by other people and no one truly cared about you, I think it’s normal to feel as if dying is your option. I sometimes feel that we have too many people well off compared to people who aren’t. Maybe that’s one reason why thoughts related to death are so taboo.

I’ll reveal something that most people don’t know - I still think about death sometimes. I just don’t let it overwhelm me. Or maybe I realized that I’m sick of certain injustices in the world. Thinking about suicide was somewhat of a stance against that. It’s similar to what martyrs believe. However, I do feel that you need to focus on the light hidden in that darkness (sounds Kingdom Hearts-ish, but it’s also true) and make it so that living is a better option. It takes a people solution to find that. I found that I wasn’t alone in how I thought at times and it helped me a bunch to process what I was feeling.

There’s a wonderful line near the end of My Broken Mariko and it’s found on a beach sign. It said “Suicide isn’t a crime, but littering is.” I sometimes feel that suicide is still treated as a crime even by those who want to help. I think that’s why you hear questions like “Why did they do this? How could they?” Most police responses to people with mental illness do not end well. Sometimes, psychiatric help does more harm than good. I’ve had bad psychiatrist/therapist experiences that felt too “medical.” That’s why I want more community efforts emphasized to tackle suicide and not just only rely on the standard solutions.

This is what I think My Broken Mariko is calling for - a communal stand against the injustices that lead people to consider suicide as an option. And I’m glad someone like Waka Hirako feels the same way I do.

There’s a wonderful guide on Psyche, “How to talk to a suicidal friend” with resources and books. Also, please remember that it’s possible that you can’t save someone in the end even if you tried as best you could to help (like Tomoyo did for Mariko) and no one should ever shame you for that. Here’s a list of resources for suicide bereavement.

#My Broken Mariko #manga #mental health #suicide #psychology #josei manga

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