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tumblingxelian · 4 months

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Wenclair - Fake Courting, Politics and Assassins Oh My!

This is just an outline of early chapters, I have not written anything yet, but needed to get this idea out of my head.

So to anyone interested in a story that seemingly starts as a standard fake dating post Season 1 story. Only reveal that is actually gonna get a helluva lot more complicated nd dangerous, here we go:

Prologue:

Post Crackstone but pre parents arrival, Wednesday is dreading an orb call with her parents cos of her injuries and the knowledge they will be smothering her soon. (Part of her is not bothered but she has her pride) So to distract herself and partially out of concern she asks why Enid seems stressed.

Cue the expected revelation that now Enid has not only transformed but shown she can do so without the full moon. (Something usually reserved for adult Werewolves) she expects her mother will try and force her into a relationship and is dreading the prospect of her Summer because of it.

So, Wednesday floats the idea of playing the role of Enid's paramour and potential mate cos of a myriad of reasons: Cares about Enid, is possessive, avoiding parents, low key paranoid about lots of things, thinks making Enid's mother miserable by being the worst daughter in law ever is funny ETC.

Enid is grateful but oddly concerned, both about Wednesday's injuries & touch aversion but also starts floating the idea that this might cause the Addams trouble with Wednesday's suitors.

A concern Wednesday dismisses as she has none and further dismisses when Enid wonders if she's really up for this challenge and if her family would be OK with her doing this, even if only for a while.

Cue a quickly call where Wednesday dances around the romance part a bit, but they seem fine with it. Promising to instead spend time hunting down and destroying every remnant of Crackstone.

So they are off.

Chapter 1:

Turns out most of the Lycan students are part of the West Coast Wolf Alliance which is nominally headed by the San Francisco Pack. (The SInclairs are basically the equivalent of peasants in this context) So there's a lot of Lycan, who know have no idea how to handle Enid, least of all her brothers, who are also low key awed and scared of Wednesday.

The eldest who picks them up is seemingly more chill but also seems a bit odd and is the one to reveal there will likely be celebrations when they return. Why?

Well because Wednesday, plus Enid and Bianca saved the entire student body, earning them a lot of respect in the Outcast community, they are now big deals.

Wednesday: Politics, how droll. Enid (Alarm bell starts ringing)

The airport has some more common stuff, Enid giving Wednesday some noise cancelling headphones. Revealing the coded system of jumper tugs to ask for and receive or deny different types of affection. (& Wednesday's own tap of "If you don't get me out of here I am going to start stabbing people." code)

Sleeping on the plane, plus microaggressions from the humans.

Chapter 2:

Finally arriving, lots of Lycan are picking up their kids including Esther who looks a lil different.

(https://www.tumblr.com/barblaz-arts/720970746332102656/the-balcony-talk-pokemon-au-edition-just-imagine)

& rather than being put off by Wednesday being rude is more like, "I am glad my daughter found a mate with fangs, come, you two will ride with me."

Enid (The Alarm bells are getting louder)

We get some history on the migration of Outcasts to the "New World", alliances with fellow Outcasts and even indigenous rebel groups & grudging treaties with human governments.

Also revealed as they arrive at the mountain regions signed over in part to the Lycan Alliance, is that many of them adopt partially or even fully transformed states. Esther included.

Enid revealing they only present as fully human outside their territories cos even slightly too big fangs or nails can warrant arrest or assault or death by police.

Due to her injuries, Wednesday still needs sleep and gets a space in the Sinclair compound, specifically Enid's room with Esther none too subtly encouraging them to share a bed before inviting Enid to show off her new form and hunt.

Wednesday sticks around long enough to see Enid is larger than all but the biggest adult Werewolves and is pleased before heading to sleep.

Chapter 3:

This one is a bit more vague, but Wednesday wakes up, is generally treated well, low key given access to certain magical lore and tools by an elder sage and promised more as Enid's mate.

Enid (Alarm bells are now screaming in her head as she walks in on this.)

There's talk of the Pack Elders holding a celebration to honor the pair, some more politics and whisperings about Blood Moon and training ETC. But Enid seems subtly desperate to get Wednesday away from everyone.

Again Esther is fine with it, encouraging it even, which gives Enid the time to get Wednesday far from her family (& the Dire Wolves they & others raise and sell as guard dogs) to have a 'tour' together while most recover from the night before or prep for the celebration.

This is where the more traditional "Fake dating" wheels come off.

Enid basically ends up asking Wednesday how much she knows about Lycan politics and then Outcasts politics in general.

Wednesday: I don't make a habit of repeating myself. Enid, I find politics droll. Enid (The alarm is now broken)

Cos yeah, turns out that while the Outcast communities are very united, (Motivated by mutual defense pacts against humans) they are held together by factional and familial alliances, traded favors and marriages too.

The Addams are no exceptions, Gomez was obliged to marry Morticia's sister but fell for her and cos the families were chill the engagement shuffled.

Now, Morticia and Gomez were never going to force her to marry someone, but there's lots of steps and deals and concessions made to ensure arrangements are broke respectfully, which Wednesday has very much not done.

Wednesday isn't stupid, its just that she does not study subjects she finds dull. So she's a master fencer, botanist, chemist, ETC, but she has no idea who the fuck the President is or who her family is aligned with. Morticia and Gomez planned to tell her when she was more open to accepting their advice so things could be handled smoothly. This, was not smooth.

What Wednesday has done is basically flip off every prospective suitor, turn her back on every familial alliance and has thus also blatantly advertised herself as being super invested in the San Francisco Pack.

A Pack who really wants the heroes of Nevermore with them and also a Seer on their side, as it would elevate their status, give them powerful members and more.

Not everyone is mercenary about it but it is an undercurrent to why they are so OK with Wednesday's attitude, she's way too valuable to chase off due to rudeness.

Also some Lycan who were going to get big positions now fear their position and want to knock Enid down a peg so she'd have to be their guards, rather than a political figure in her own right.

So yeah, Wednesday accidentally stuck her foot in a massive political cluster fuck and trying to extricate herself too quickly will only make it worse.

Enid assumed Wednesday knew all this stuff though did allude to it earlier. So yeah, things just got a lot more complicated, especially as they are in a spotlight post Nevermore as well.

Made worse by many "Monster Hunters" wanting to take action and avenge the Crackstones/finish the job. Especially by targeting the Seer who felled him and to cull the Blood Moon Werewolf before she grows too powerful.

Conclusion:

Sooo yeah, that's the premise but also as far as I have gotten with the outline XD

For anyone confused on Esther, she is very much in favor of Wenclair for her own political ambitions (Once ruined by her youthful indiscretions) Meanwhile Wednesday and Enid are navigating a political minefield and also falling in love, with assassins on their tails.

Thanks for reading!

#Wednesday Addams #Enid Sinclair #Wenclair #Fake Dating #Outcast Politics #World Building #Outline

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rainhadaenerys · 4 years

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I don’t even know why I keep reading anti Dany metas. I keep expecting that maybe they’ll have some reasonable argument, but they never fail to surprise me in how stupid they are, and how much they distort things. There’s this new meta that’s supposed to be some deep analysis of ADWD, and of how Dany is a bad queen. They keep harping on how Dany is bad because she thinks of “floppy ears” and because she dislikes the Meereenese. And this is such a ridiculous thing to say. This has no bearing in whether Dany is a good ruler or not. A ruler doesn’t have to like all their subjects to be a good ruler. In any government, you will always have people with different ideologies, and you are not obligated to like your political enemies. The people Dany dislikes are the Meereeense slavers. Those are the Meereenese that she hates, not the Meereenese freedmen or poor people. And again, this doesn’t make Dany “a bad ruler”. It doesn’t mean that Dany isn’t supposed to be a queen. The person also says that Dany hates Meereenese culture even when it’s not related to things that are oppressive, but this isn’t true. The culture that Dany hates is the culture of the slaver class, not of her freedmen. And again, whether Dany hates that culture or not doesn’t make her a bad ruler. She can hate the Meereenese slavers while still ruling and ruling well. Oh, and the meta also says that Dany “makes” people shave, but this isn’t true at all. The Shavepate choose to shave their heads on their own will to symbolize their alliance with the new regime, for their own personal reasons:

"My queen," growled Skahaz mo Kandaq, of the shaven head. Ghiscari hair was dense and wiry; it had long been the fashion for the men of the Slaver Cities to tease it into horns and spikes and wings. By shaving, Skahaz had put old Meereen behind him to accept the new, and his kin had done the same after his example. Others followed, though whether from fear, fashion, or ambition, Dany could not say; shavepates, they were called. Skahaz was the Shavepate … and the vilest of traitors to the Sons of the Harpy and their ilk. - Daenerys I ADWD

Daenerys doesn’t “make” people shave, or else everybody in Meereen would hve shaved, which is not the case.

Then they proceed to take many decisions of Dany that were very much reasonable, and try to distort it into something bad. Dany grants a rich woman her clothes and jewels back but not her house. And she does this because there were already freedmen living in the house. First, Dany decreed a pardon for everything that happened during the sack (which is necessary to keep peace in Meereen), so it’s not like she needed to give the woman anything. Dany was still conciliatory in giving the woman back her jewels and clothes. The woman was not homeless: she was living with her brother. But the freedwomen in her house would be homeless if Dany decided to give her house back. Dany’s decision was probably the best and most conciliatory decision she could make, but of course this anti would harp on why it’s horrible for a rich woman to lose her house. Funny how antis never worry about the freedwomen that would be homeless if Dany decided in favor of the rich woman.

Then they talk about Dany not punishing the crimes that happened during the sack, and completely ignore the fact that decreeing a pardon was necessary to keep peace in the city. If Dany had decided to punish the former slaves for rising against their masters, and to punish former slavers for their crimes against the freedmen, she would have war within Meereen, and I’m pretty sure antis would be harping about what a stupid ruler Dany is and how she is incapable of being conciliatory. But here, Dany shows herself to be conciliatory and makes a very reasonable decision that was probably the best decision she could make, and antis go talking about what a bad ruler she is.

Then Dany makes the decision that people will have to go to the temple and swear a sacred oath to get the money for their lost animals (that Drogo ate). Which is a very intelligent decision. Dany is not wrong in saying that some people will lie about Drogon burning their animais and bring burned bones to her that they burned themselves, just to get her money. In fact, Dany keeps receiving claims that Drogon burned their animals even after Drogo left the city and Dany chained her dragons:

Dany did not want to talk about the dragons. Farmers still came to her court with burned bones, complaining of missing sheep, though Drogon had not returned to the city. - Daenerys IV ADWD

So Dany is absolutely correct in saying that some people are deceiving her. Making people swear a sacred oath is smart, especially considering that the Shavepate’s suggestion was much more brutal (to whip everyone), and Dany refused his suggestion. But look at what this anti says about Dany because of this:

The pronouncement was received in sullen silence. You would think they might be happier, Dany thought. They have what they came for. Is there no way to please these people?

This quote says a lot about Daenerys. In her mind, the people should be happy because she’s willing to give them back what they lost, failing to consider how much trouble it would be for them to gather up the bones of their dead animals, bring them to Dany’s pyramid, and wait all day for just the chance to be heard by her. Dany thinks many of them lie about Drogon to try and get money or sheep, and thinks they should just be happy she’s giving them anything at all.

Like, wow. How is it such trouble to bring the bones as proof? Isn’t that what all the shepherds were already doing? And actually, this anti is incorrect, because they would not need to speak directly to Dany, they would just have to swear an oath at the temple. And the idea that Dany thinks “people should just be happy she’s giving them anything at all” is so false. This is definitely not what Dany thinks:

“No, Magnificence.” Reznak bowed. “Shall I send these rascals away, or will you want them scourged?”

Daenerys shifted on the bench. “No man should ever fear to come to me.” Some claims were false, she did not doubt, but more were genuine. Her dragons had grown too large to be content with rats and cats and dogs. The more they eat, the larger they will grow, Ser Barristan had warned her, and the larger they grow, the more they’ll eat. Drogon especially ranged far afield and could easily devour a sheep a day. “Pay them for the value of their animals,” she told Reznak, “but henceforth claimants must present themselves at the Temple of the Graces and swear a holy oath before the gods of Ghis.” – Daenerys I ADWD

I mean, what they say about Dany is a freaking lie. Dany is willing to help people, she never thinks “they should be happy I’m giving them anything at all”, what she actually thinks is “some claims were false, she did not doubt, but more were genuine”. But hey, antis lying through their teeth about Dany is nothing new. Besides, going back to the decision, how in hell is Dany unreasonable for this? This “meta” was supposed to prove that Dany is a bad ruler, but I think these decisions (the pardon, being conciliatory and not leaving freedwomen homeless, and asking people to swear an oath to avoid people cheating her) all prove that Dany is actually a very good ruler.

The anti also talks about how Dany is hypocritical for chastising a man for forgetting the name of his slave, but for also forgetting Hazzea’s name. But this is such a false equivalence. The man forgot the name of a woman who worked for him for years, showing that he never cared to even learn the name of his slaves. Dany remembered Hazzea’s name even though she only heard it once, and she never knew the girl, and only forgot Hazzea’s name when she was sick and hallucinating in the Dothraki sea. How the hell are these two things comparable? And Dany just told the man to buy a new loom for the woman, it’s not like she was whipping him through the streets, but the way antis talk, a slave being compensated for her years of service with a loom is the most heinous thing. Like, wow, Dany is so evil and such a bad ruler for this, right? *sarcasm*

Oh, they also say Dany is a bad and immature ruler because she throws fruits at Xaro. Even though Xaro is already someone she knows, and Dany doesn’t do this with anyone else. Apparently, things like this (or hanging her feet and not sitting in a queenly position) make Dany a “bad ruler”, despite the fact that this has little bearing in whether Dany is a good ruler or not (I mean, I think ending slavery and feeding her people are more important things than sitting correctly, but hey, since when Dany antis are reasonable or logical?), and in fact, Dany is usually very courteous:

In the afternoon a sculptor came, proposing to replace the head of the great bronze harpy in the Plaza of Purification with one cast in Dany’s image. She denied him with as much courtesy as she could muster. A pike of unprecedented size had been caught in the Skahazadhan, and the fisherman wished to give it to the queen. She admired the fish extravagantly, rewarded the fisherman with a purse of silver, and sent the pike to her kitchens. A coppersmith had fashioned her a suit of burnished rings to wear to war. She accepted it with fulsome thanks; it was lovely to behold, and all that burnished copper would flash prettily in the sun, though if actual battle threatened, she would sooner be clad in steel. Even a young girl who knew nothing of the ways of war knew that. – Daenerys I ADWD

They also talk about how Dany is bad for rejecting the peace, completely ignoring all the bad things that peace would bring, and how it benefited the slavers and was bad for the slaves. Oh, and apparently Dany is bad for wanting to forbid the fighting pits, saying that Dany should make regulations to stop people from being forced into the pits as if that was possible, even though the text shows us that it’s very difficult to avoid the fact that some people will indeed be forced and it’s difficult to regulate that, and that poor people would end up in this place.

They also talk about Dany’s mistake in leaving Astapor in Yunkai, ignoring the fact that this is wrong, Dany’s mistake wasn’t simply that she left, but that she left Astapor with no army, and that she left the masters in power in Yunkai. And none of these things make Dany a bad ruler in Meereen. These were mistakes that Dany did in ASOS, not in ADWD, because Dany was very inexperient and didn’t have good advisors. But Dany learns from these mistakes. Saying Dany is a bad ruler because of this makes no sense, because this happened in the past, and Dany has learned and will no longer make the same mistakes (and in fact, she doesn’t do the same mistake in ADWD, she doesn’t leave Meereen unprotected). But Dany antis expect Dany to be a good ruler from the very beginning even though she never had any experience before. They expect her to have never made any mistakes.

Finally, they talk about the wineseller’s daughter, and say that “It is one thing to torture someone you only suspect of being involved in a crime, but it is even worse to torture girls just to get at their father“, which is not what happened at all. First, we don’t know if they were girls, the text never says this. Second, the wineseller’s daughters were suspects. They were arrested with their father and were the only ones in the shop whe the poisoning happened. Dany is not “torturing people that she knows are innocent”. Like, I don’t like Dany allowing torture either, but I hate how Dany antis always distort what actually happened (usually by saying that the wineseller’s daughters were just little children that Dany knew were innocent”, which is not true), and I also hate how Dany antis use double standards and completely forget that torture is normal in this world, and even Jon Snow practices it (he does it for other reasons, but he does it). And this antis also conveniently ignores that once Dany realizes the Shavepate is forcing people to confess, she actually forbids torture (she is the only character to forbid torture).

Anyway, sorry that this post is such a mess, guys, I know it’s very badly written and disorganized. I wrote in a hurry, and mostly because this meta I just read annoyed me. But I think the post really shows how Dany antis will really do anything to distort things, and turn even the things Dany does right into bad things. The only “bad thing” here is the torture, but this is also a double standard against Dany. Anyway, is Dany a good ruler? Yes, she is.

#fandom wank #daenerys targaryen #daenerys defense squad

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janiedean · 4 years

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Because you might need something to take your mind off all the stupid...

… and this isn’t particularly good or funny, and it probably requires a lot of editing and some semblance of coherent word choices, but maybe it’ll make you smile a little, if only for the knowledge that one of your works inspired it. I wrote this little scene a while ago after reading “as beautiful as you”, having my soul just a little bit irreparably wrecked by the part where Jaime wakes Brienne by giving her a sword rather than kissing her or taking a sword from her, and having my brain immediately jump to, “Yes, but do you know why you love this so much?”

It feels like it should be part of a bigger story, but knowing me, it’s probably not getting anywhere anytime soon. All I’ve got right now is that the sparrow is actually a human (or humanoid?) who got cursed into a bird for whatever reason and must mentor a true hero to break the spell. He’s also kind of dick, which probably makes things more difficult than they should really be.

So, well, here it goes:

“«So,» said Jack. «Here she is. But how should I wake her?»

The sparrow fluttered his wings as if to shrug, then flew from his shoulder and went to hover over the princess’ still body. He considered it for a moment, then said: «Usually, a kiss is enough.»

Jack startled. «A kiss?»

His companion landed beside the princess’ head and fixed him with one of those stares of his that always managed to look much more annoyed than his features should have allowed. «A kiss,» he repeated. «You know, when you press your mouth to another’s? I know for a fact that even peasants know how to kiss.»

Jack chose to ignore that last sentence. He came closer and looked down on the princess where she laid, rather comfortably or so it seemed, on a pile of embroidered blankets and pillows. Her loose, flame-red curls spilled out from under her gleaming helmet and onto the costly fabrics of deepest blue and brightest green, and she was tall and broad-shouldered under her chainmail, which looked as if it was made of rings of silver, the way it shined in the golden mid-morning sun. She had a tiny smile on her full, pink lips, and the fingers of her right hand were wrapped around the bejeweled hilt of a sword, not gripping it forcefully yet not holding it loosely, either. There was no stiffness to her features or her limbs; she looked peaceful, and in a way, almost confident. «I can’t kiss her,» Jack said.

«What? But we’ve come all the way up here! And it’s your quest! You’ll be a hero!»

Jack looked to where the sparrow was hopping frantically on the ground. «I don’t really think heroes run around kissing sleeping strangers. Not until they’ve woken them up and asked them whether they wish to be kissed, at least.» He didn’t answer the bird’s muttered, oh, you’d be surprised. Instead, he asked him: «Is there no other way?»

The sparrow stopped and sighed. He managed to look pensive. «Well, you could take off her armor and helmet, I guess. Get rid of the sword, too. This kind of thing sometimes happens as punishment to wayward daughters who won’t get out of their hauberks and into a nice dress to go find themselves a husband, and who’d rather play with steel swords than… oh, what is it, now?»

«If that’s the case, it seems to me that she was punished for a very wrong reason, and that it would also be wrong to help in her punishment by stealing her armor and weapon. And look how brightly they shine! She must care for them a great deal.»

«Who even talked about stealing? Just take them off of her, put them aside, and give them back when she wakes!»

Jack pondered over this option. «But it still sounds wrong, and quite a bit rude. I wouldn’t blame the princess, if she woke up and got mad at me for manhandling her and undressing her as she slept, and on top of it all, taking the things she loves away from her as if I was trying to punish her, too. I could try to calm her down and explain the situation, sure…» A thought came upon him. «But is she even being punished? She looks happy and comfortable enough. Are you sure she’s really being kept on the mountain by someone else, and that she’s not here by her own will?»

The sparrow gave a brief, high shriek. Then, he quieted down and said quietly and slowly, sweet as overripe fruit: «Do you think young royal ladies just climb on the highest, steepest mountain available in the middle of nowhere to sleep for a thousand years? Now, that seems a bit much for a beauty sleep, doesn’t it? And what about all the brave knights who came to rescue her through the centuries, and even battled with the damned dragon?»

«The dragon wasn’t even really there to guard her. She just needed a quiet place to stay as she waited to heal from her illness, but every few decades, someone came to attack her, and all that ruckus kept slowing down her recovery. None of those knights even bothered to take a good look at her and find out that belching out flames at random intervals is the draconic equivalent to hiccups.»

«Well, they were a little too caught up in acting like real heroes to play nurse to a gigantic monster with very sharp claws and teeth that can also spit fire, I assume.»

«But their heroic methods didn’t work, did they?»

The sparrow averted his gaze and was silent for a moment. «Well, no. Not really. Still…»

Jack crouched next to the princess, stared at her fair face, and patted her hand gently. «Your Highness, won’t you please wake up?» he asked her. «I don’t mean to disturb you, but it is very late.»

«Oh, alright! Just keep doing whatever you,» started the sparrow in a bitter voice, but he was soon cut off by the princess herself mumbling something unintelligible. She did it again as she slowly moved this way and that, and then she let go of the sword, stretched out her strong arms and legs and let out a big yawn. When she finally opened her eyes, they were a clear blue, if somewhat unfocused. But after she rubbed at them with her hand, they seemed much more alert.

«Yes,» she said a bit groggily, pushing herself in a sitting position and turning to look at Jack. She took off her helmet and laid it down next to the sword. «I know it must be late. How long did it take you to understand? Or did my father figure it out all on his own before he sent for you?»

Jack and the sparrow exchanged a glance. «Um. It took one thousand years. And six months. Um,» said the sparrow. Jack wanted to reach out a hand and pat his little head, but he thought better of it. The sparrow wasn’t usually one for that kind of thing.

The princess let out an incredulous laugh. «That long? Truly?» She shook her head, her wild curls flying around her face. «I had thought the stubborn old goat would just keep looking for the eager grooms most like himself at first, but I had also hoped he’d swap them for more fitting choices sooner than this. Are the words, I don’t want a husband who only knows how to demand and order and act against my will and who wouldn’t know a polite question if it hit him right in his stupid, ugly mug, so very difficult to make sense of?»

«They aren’t,» Jack agreed.

«You’d think so, now, wouldn’t you. But then again, if they weren’t, I wouldn’t have had to set up my little trial in the first place. Ah, well, but at least I have enjoyed a very nice nap and I feel quite well-rested. It would have been better, if not for all those cretins and cowards trying to kiss me or do even worse… I did think to wake up for a little while to teach them a lesson, but there was some creature that took care of them before I ever could. As the enchantments I put on my belongings took care of the thieves and their grasping hands, of course.»

«Does that mean you’re a witch, Your Highness?» asked the sparrow, a little too hastily.

The princess turned to look at him and sat herself more comfortably. Her face softened and when she answered, her amusement seemed more sincere, laced as it was with kindness rather than exasperation. «Well, how do you think I’ve managed to sleep for a thousand years and then another six months still, little bird? And how could my father still be alive, if magic did not run though our line?»

«We don’t know whether your father still lives, because we’ve never met him,» clarified Jack, and felt bad for not telling her sooner. «We didn’t even come here as grooms. We were just looking for a heroic quest to fulfill.»

The princess turned towards him once more and scrunched up her brows, as if trying to decide if she should believe him. She must have realized he was speaking honestly, because eventually she patted his hand as he had done with hers. «Oh, no need for that sour face. I mean no offense, but I am glad this tiny sparrow here isn’t vying with you for my hand… and even you would have had to spend at least a few months courting me. The trial was only ever meant to find me a man I could accept as a possible groom.» She rose to her feet. «As for my father, I doubt he’d let himself die before seeing me up and about once more. I told you, he’s stubborn. And in truth we do care for each other, though it might not always seem so. Now, I remember there was a stream down there, and I need to make myself a little more presentable. When I’m done, if you’ll help me back to my father’s keep, I’ll have him feed you and give you fresh clothes and a place to rest before you go back to your quests, and whatever else you might need.»

With that, she rolled her shoulder, stretched out her arms again, and went her own way.

«Are we going with her?» Jack asked the sparrow.

The sparrow answered him: «Well, yes. You’re a hero, now, I guess. Technically, at least. And heroes do get their rewards from their princesses and their princesses’ fathers… even if it usually doesn’t go quite like this.»

Jack nodded. Food and rest and fresh clothes seemed nice, anyway.”

----

OMG THIS IS ADORABLE AND PLEASE IF YOU EVER FEEL LIKE WRITING THE FULL THING I’M 100% DOWN TO READ IT also I ship these two already like fed-ex, the crack is delightful because hONESTLY IT JUST TOOK ASKING HER XKLGKJSDGJLJDKLG I LOVE MY TROPES DECONSTRUCTION, the princess is honestly to die for, HE’S ADORABLE tho admittedly ofc the sparrow is the best lmao oh god now I want him and pigeon ned to meet or smth xDDDDD ALSO THE DRAGON BEING SICK KILLED ME SDKLGDSLJJKG THIS WHOLE THING WAS JUST SO PRECIOUS THANKS I 100% COULD HAVE USED READING IT ;___;

#submitted #not mine #submission #haljathefangirlcat #flkjgjklsdjkgljklds #THIS IS SO PRESH <333333333 #jaime x brienne for ts #sdlkgljksdlgkjgklsjdglkjsdlkgjlkdgjskljdsgdksgj #I CAN BELIEVE SHE FEELS REFRESHED I need that nap too tbh

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dark0angel13 · 5 years

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Dare You To

This will be a collab fic written by @eternal-bookworm-lover and me. We hope you like it and I will also be posting a link to both AO3 accounts so you can check out her other wonderful stories!

Summary: New University student, Lucy Heartfilia, meets a new group of friends with an unbreakable bond and assure Lucy that her time at Magnolia University is going to be a wild ride full of surprises. It's not long before Lucy and Natsu Dragneel’s paths cross, one pure and full of love, the other full of regret and hidden secrets. Can they bring each other to the light, or will their pasts destroy any hope for the future? Just as things seem to be getting a little brighter, something utterly unexpected happens and tosses their lives into total disarray! Is their bond strong enough to pull through or will they end up making the ultimate sacrifice? And it all starts with a simple dare.

Chapter one

“Hey,” Lucy knocks twice on the open door and looks around tentatively, her bag clutched tightly in her hand. “Anyone here?” There was a loud thud from the far end of the room and she raises a brow when a small girl, cursing and rubbing her head opens the door.

“Hey,” her voice is laced with pain but she holds out a hand, “I’m Levy McGarden. Looks like we’re going to be roommates.”

“Lucy Heartfilia,” She smiles and takes the outstretched hand, “it’s nice to meet you.”

“Welcome to Magnolia University,” Levy smiles and turns on her heel to replace the book that fell, continuing as she lines the shelf. “It’s pretty relaxed here so feel free to make yourself at home. Sorry, I already claimed this half but you get the side closest to the bathroom.”

Lucy could agree to this, nodding as she plops her duffel onto the bed. The room itself is decent in size, allowing each girl to have enough space to herself. It’s on the second floor so she has a good view of the court yard and it also just so happened to be in the building closest to the cafeteria. Her stomach was growling just thinking about food.

“I’m cool with this side.” She smiled and approaches the smaller girl, admiring the hundreds of books she’s trying to cram into the tiny bookshelf next to her bed. “I think you need a bigger bookshelf, Levy.”

“Tell me about it,” Levy huffs, “but we’re only allowed one bookshelf in the dorms.”

“Well, maybe you can take a break and show me around campus? I just moved to Magnolia so I don’t know the area yet.” Levy agrees enthusiastically and Lucy is bombarded with strange facts about the school and its buildings as they exit.

“So this,” Levy motions to the large gymnasium and Lucy gasps at its magnitude, “is where the kendo and martial arts teams practice. They have a building all their own.” Levy opens the doors and the sheer magnitude of it has Lucy’s eyes widening.

“Holy shit.” She can’t think of anything else to say and her voice echoes around them.

“That was my first reaction too.” Levy chuckles and motions for her to follow. “If you’re into martial arts of any kind you can train here.”

“I’m not a fighter,” a nervous laugh escapes her “I prefer books and puzzles.”

“A girl after my own heart,” Levy winks, “you and I are gonna get along just fine.”

They ascend the stairs and Levy points out the captains’ offices as well as the different equipment and Lucy is fully impressed. If the library building was anywhere as impressive as this, she’s going to love it here.

“This building even has its own showers, so you don’t have to walk back to the dorm.” Levy spoke automatically now and Lucy has a feeling she’s not actually speaking to her but she nods anyway.

Levy goes on to tell her the history of Kendo and how the university came to have its team and Lucy can hear the excitement in her voice.

“You seem really excited about this.”

“Only because the captain of the kendo team is one of my best friends. You’ll like Erza,” Levy explains as she opens the door to the sauna, “she’s—oh dear god!”

Levy freezes in place and Lucy has to stop short as her eyes travel the room. It’s filled with steam but even through that, they can both see the two bodies entwined against the hot stones. Lucy feels the heat rush to her cheeks and words fail her. Her jaw may have even hit the floor, she couldn’t recall. The heavy breathing that echoed around the room stops abruptly and she can see a flash of red before shouts ring out.

“Oh shit!”

“Jesus Christ knock before coming in here!”

“Sorry!” Levy turns and pulls Lucy out of the room so fast, they’re both breathing hard when they stop at the main door to the building.

“Were...Were they having sex?” Lucy already knows the answer but feels the need to ask anyway.

“Yeah.”

“Who was that?”

“That would be Erza Scarlet and Jellal Fernandez,” Levy’s voice is shaky but she laughs nervously, “I swear she’s really cool.”

“Are they dating?” Why is she even asking this question? Lucy has no idea, all she can see is their naked bodies in her mind and she needed a distraction.

“I didn’t think so,” Levy laughs and they continue on, “but after seeing that I’m not so sure.”

The rest of the day isn’t nearly as exciting as the sauna incident and Lucy is both relieved and disappointed. This was college for God’s sake, shouldn’t there be people fucking everywhere? Levy has to leave for her afternoon class, leaving Lucy to roam the administrative building alone but she doesn’t mind. Starting tomorrow they will share psychology 204 and she’s excited to know someone in her class.

“Excuse me?” Lucy heard the receptionist the first time but was having a hard time comprehending the message. “My English literature credits didn’t transfer?” She’s all but hissing as she speaks. She worked her ass off for that credit, her professor was a dick, his class was almost impossible to pass, and this woman is telling her it was all for nothing?

“I’m sorry but your existing credit is only equivalent to a first year literature class. You must take contemporary literature 201 if you wish to continue your degree.” The woman’s voice is robotic as she speaks, almost as if she’s said this before and Lucy is doing her best to control her temper.

“That doesn’t make any sense.” She counters, crossing her arms. The woman has the audacity to sigh and turns the monitor so Lucy can see and the blonde is so close to losing her shit it’s not even funny.

“I’m sorry but that’s how this institute works Ms. Heartfilia. In order to continue towards your degree, this class is mandatory.”

“Fine.” Is all Lucy replies with, afraid that the venom in her tone will leak out if she says anymore. The woman smirks and finishes the transfer work and Lucy is storming out of the office as soon as humanly possible.

“I fucking hate this place already.” She mumbles to no one in particular while she jogs down the stairs, only to run face first into a hard chest. She stumbles back but catches her balance.

“I’m so sorry,” She begins bowing slightly, “I wasn’t paying at—“ her words fail her when she notices who it was she bumped into.

“It’s no problem—“ the man visibly stiffens and she can see the red that rushes to his face, her own face surely matching his in shade. It was the blue haired boy Erza had been fucking earlier that day. Lucy couldn’t believe her luck. Or her lack of it.

There is an awkward silence for almost too long before he clears his throat and shoves his hand through his hair.

“I wanted to apologize… About earlier.” His voice is strained and Lucy knows he’s struggling to keep his cool.

“No, no it’s okay.” She laughs anxiously, “we shouldn’t have just barged in there like that. I just transferred this year and my roommate was showing me around campus.”

“Welcome to Magnolia University,” he holds out a hand, “I’m Jellal Fernandez. It’s nice to meet you.” Just like that the tension breaks and she’s moving to grasp his hand.

“I’m Lucy Heartfilia.” I’m sorry I caught you fucking in the sauna, she wants to add but decides against it at the last minute and smiles.

“I have a captains meeting to attend, but if you have any questions and Levy isn’t around, feel free to ask me or Erza for help.” He’s gone before she can respond but not before he casts her a smile and she’s left staring after him like an idiot.

Lucy decides to break for lunch while Levy finishes her class, so she heads to the dining hall and she is not disappointed. Her eyes wander over all the different options and she feels her stomach growl.

“Holy shit it’s a food court.” She speaks more to herself than anyone but a voice from behind startles her from her thoughts.

“Impressive huh?” The voice is smooth, soft and feminine and Lucy is nodding blankly as she turns to greet the new person.

“Yeah this place is insa—“ she chokes on her words when she sees the red head before her. “Holy shit it’s you.” She can’t help the surprise in her voice and she can feel the heat rush to her cheeks. Of all the times to run into her of all people. It would have to be today.

“Ah you’re the one who was with Levy earlier. I’m Erza,” the woman smiles and drapes an arm over her shoulders, “it’s nice to meet you.”

Lucy doesn’t know what to do or how to respond so she simply nods and stiffens.

“Are you alright?” The question rolls of Erza’s tongue effortlessly; almost as if she doesn’t care that Lucy walked in on them and she can’t for the life of her understand why.

“Y-yeah I’m fine why wouldn’t I be?” She stammers and let’s out a nervous laugh, “Most people start off with a hand shake though.”

“I figured a hand shake would be too formal since you’ve already seen me naked.” Lucy didn’t know it was possible to be so embarrassed.

“I didn’t do it on purpose.” She counters flustered and feels Erza laugh beside her.

“I know,” Erza pauses to steer them towards the food line, “I’m not saying you did.”

“Then how the hell are you so calm right now? I would be dying of embarrassment.” Lucy finds herself almost hysterical when she finishes and Erza laughs again.

“I’m very proud of my body so I don’t mind. I’ve got nothing to hide.” The wink is what does it for Lucy and she can feel steam leaving her ears.

“Oh… Well that makes one of us…” Lucy honestly doesn’t know how to respond to this woman. “I’m Lucy Heartfilia, by the way. It’s nice to meet you.”

“I wish I could stay and chat but I’ve got physics in ten minutes so I’ve gotta go,” Erza takes a pen and writes her number on Lucy’s hand before standing. “If you wanna hang out later hit me up. Or if you have any questions feel free to ask. Welcome to Magnolia University.”

Lucy is left stunned into silence as her eyes travel from the red head, to the number written on her hand, and back again before it dawns on her. How the fuck did Erza know she was new? It doesn’t matter, she decides suddenly and gets into the closest food line.

“Hey Lucy, sorry I took so long,” Levy calls from the business building and Lucy looks up from her place on the grass. “Our intro ran a little late.”

“No worries Levy, I’ve just been reading.” She flashes a smile to the bluenette.

“Oh what are you reading?” Levy sprawls out next to her and studies the back of the book.

“It’s a suspense novel, you’d like it.”

“You’ll have to let me borrow it sometime.” Levy smiles and looks past her, waving frantically as she sprang to her feet. Lucy, thoroughly confused at this point, sets her book down to follow with her eyes.

“Hey, Gajeel!” Levy practically jumps into his arms and Lucy feels her mouth run dry. The man approaching was huge, scruffy, and absolutely terrifying. He has to be a jock, she thinks as her eyes roam his muscles.

“Hey shrimp, how are ya?” He chuckles and let’s her dangle from his neck before they both take a seat next to Lucy. “I’m Gajeel Redfox, nice to meet ya Blondie.”

She introduces herself and looks to Levy for help. This man is intimidating and she doesn’t know how to talk to him.

“Gajeel here is our resident musician.” Of all the things Levy could have said, she was not expecting that.

“Come again?” She asks in disbelief and stiffens when Gajeel scoffs.

“You got a problem with music?” He’s hissing as he talks and Lucy feels her heart jump into her throat.

“No, not at all I love music.” She stammers and scoots back. She definitely doesn’t want to piss this guy off.

“Hey Metal Head, stop scaring the new girl.” The voice that drifts to her ears is smooth and confident and Lucy looks up to see another dark haired man approaching. He seems normal, she thinks and sighs in relief. Until he takes off his shirt and tackles Gajeel instead of sitting.

“Get the fuck off me ya damn fish.” Gajeel retorts, shoving the new guy away.

“Gray put your shirt back on. No stripping in front of my new roommate.” Levy interjects to throw her water bottle at them both. And curses when gray drinks what’s left before throwing it back at her.

“I’m Gray Fullbuster.” Is all he says and nods in her direction before he’s tackled from behind and a high pitched voice joins the fray; Lucy can barely keep up.

“Gray darling, we’re going to be late for practice. Stop being gay and let’s go.” Another bluenette catches Lucy’s eye and she smiles, “I’m Juvia Locksar, it’s nice to meet you. Levy has already told us so much about you. All I have to say is to never come near my Gray-sama and we won’t have any problems.” She’s then dragging Gray away before Lucy has a chance to reply and Levy chuckles.

“Those two are on the swim team together. They’re almost inseparable.”

Almost? Lucy wants to ask but decides against it and smiles. Everyone is so kind to her here, she can’t wait to know them all better.

“I’m so happy I transferred to this school.” She doesn’t speak to anyone in particular but Levy nods and agrees enthusiastically.

“Me too Lucy.”

College life is going to be fucking awesome.

END

You can find @eternal-bookworm-lover on AO3 here

And you can find my AO3 account here

#fairy tail #Natsu Dragneel #Lucy Heartfilia #levy mcgarden #gajeel redfox #Gray Fullbuster #Juvia Locksar #Erza Scarlet #Jellal Fernandez #Dare You To #Fanfiction #Fic writing #Collab fic

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mastabas-and-mushussu · 5 years

Text

Right now, Nisaba and Enki have the godly equivalent of Google Docs open, and are staring at a joint project. Enki, among his many talents as Organizer Of The World Order and Maker Of Stuff (see: sheep, grain), knows how to shape worlds out of binary code as easily as Ninhursag (his wife) can shape people out of clay. His is the power of knowledge, for knowledge gives you the grasp of the soul of a thing. Nisaba is the written word itself, numbers, and the recording of that knowledge. They're pretty proud of this bizarre brainchild. It's grown in unexpected ways, thrown a few pudding cups and accidentally made entirely new concepts, but all in all it seems to be going well. It's been in the care and keeping of their pet project, humanity, for several decades now, and adopted several interesting personality quirks. Inanna, the lady of passion and violence and the precipice of night, loves this new thing humans have access to. She revels in the snuff films and porn viruses, the beauty blogs and military histories. All of the gods want in on the action when humans learn how to communicate, but none do so to better effect than her. But now these three gods are staring at one another, blank faced. Nisaba of-ten-thousand-tongues just read aloud a DM from Inanna, lady-of-delight. She's excellent at reading comprehension and is possessed of an extraordinarily compelling voice, but she reads this with the methodical caution of a person asked to teach chemistry at a puppy training school. She runs it by her husband, Haia, who is the scribal god excelling in matters of economics. Surely he can provide some clarification on the message? At it happens, he can. He does so with a frown normally reserved for double-stuffed bookcases and sharpie redactions. Together, playing off of their strengths to shore up the shaky parts of Inanna's rather empassioned and emoji-riddled complaint, they present the whole of the issue to Father Enki. Enki, on being presented with it, promptly summoned all involved. All are in favor of protecting children and advocating for human rights and freedoms, this is a given. The fact that these two goals might be opposed is a bit of a joke, but it isn't a funny joke by any means. Nisaba is carefully dragging a graphite-dusted nail over the Constitution of the United States. Inanna has somehow set her bra on fire and is casually tossing physical copies of several internet posts on it to keep the present company warm. Enki and Haia are discussing the logistics behind the issue while the goddesses gather ammunition. December 17 is the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. December 17 is Wright Brothers Day, commemorating the first successful flight. If ever there were a day for big changes, if ever there were a day to NOT piss off a goddess who personifies sex and violence, it would be that day. The Internet in all its forms is ours, just as the domestication of animals is ours now. The gods can only do so much, though they are vast beyond our wildest daydreams. And right now while Inanna flaunts nipple rings and a rainbow wrap skirt, and Nisaba pulls up research on cis male breastfeeding and every freedom of speech court case known to man? At this very moment, while Haia combs business records and the dictated notes of corporate meetings? Enki is sitting behind his Power Desk(tm) fiddling with a fidget spinner, waiting to see which way this chemical cocktail will explode. He'll make his move if he must, when he must. For now, his apkallu are bustling around the lower offices, and they're always at their most adorable when hard at work. Everyone is politely ignoring the fact that they don't actually want the big man to make a move. The last time that was necessary, he was saving mankind from a flood brought about by his brother's divine annoyance. Surely, the apkallu whisper. Surely it won't come to that? Enki spins his fidget spinner, scrolls through a few more memes, and waits.

#levpag #Enki #Nisaba #Haia #Inanna #Ishtar #Dec 17 #nipplegate

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not-close-to-straight · 7 years

Text

Long Distance (Chap One)(Stuckony)

Welcome to the Story! Non-powered AU here, just a love story between our three favorites!

COMPLETED MASTERLIST HERE

******************

Tony Stark was having a bad day.

Really, just the worst.

It started with ripping the sleeve of his favorite shirt as he turned a corner, because apparently it was too much to ask for no nails to be sticking out of a door jam.

How was there a nail? Why was his shirt ripped? Why had he paid out the ass for some high end contractor to leave nails sticking out?

Then a business meeting, which should have been barely more than a meet and greet with a quick signing of a new contract, disintegrated into chaos when the representatives of the German tech company took offense to… something.

Or they were annoyed about… something… or whatever.

Tony already had a headache and was barely listening, and jumped in surprise when all the shouting started.

Pepper dove right into full reconciliation mode to try and salvage it, but even her best efforts weren't enough to save it and almost a year’s worth of negotiations went right down the drain.

The Germans tore up the contract and left in a huff, muttering angrily under their breaths while Tony just stared in disbelief.

He was furious, and rightly so.

His job was to design all the tech, not sell it to the other companies, not to barter contracts, not to deal with this bullshit. That's why he had a team-- and today his team had let him down.

But it wasn't like it was Peppers fault, and really, his team had tried their hardest, so Tony just loosened his tie and opened the bar in the conference room, handing out drinks for everyone before moving on.

A speeding ticket from a motorcycle cop as he raced down the freeway trying to get home before dinner with Rhodey.

Lovely.

Traffic cops were...were… well, they were hard working civil servants who deserved his respect (as Pepper had reminded him so many times) but still the biggest pain in his ass. And expensive ones too.

A phone call from a reporter came in round four in the afternoon when he was still on the road, the brash woman on the other line asking if he cared to comment on the stories his ex girlfriend was sharing about him.

“Ex?” Tony asked with a confused frown. “What do you mean ex?”

The reporter went on to tell him that his ex- girlfriend Shawna had called them with a story about him. Something about his habits in bed and weird beauty rituals. That he demanded certain things from her, and was a selfish lover. That he had an AI that controlled his life and that he was building weapons in his lab.

Did Tony have any comment about any of it? Was there any truth to the rumours?

Tony hung up the phone without answering, and then called Pepper in a panic, but she was already on damage control, already making sure that everyone knew that Shawna was simply angry that she had been a fling and that Tony hadn't kept her around for very long.

Pepper was also making sure to tell anyone who asked that Tony hadn't even let Shawna stay overnight in their rather short relationship, so there was no way she would know anything of importance about him.

She told them that everything being built in Tony's lab was the sole property of Stark Industries, usually patent pending to the United States military and if they printed anything that even resembled information about his projects, they would be taken to court and sued for copyright infringement and anything else she could nail them with.

Pepper was the best, always putting out fires, and Tony promised her a new present-- something that involved diamonds and a day at her favorite spa for taking care of him.

Then he hung up the phone and pounded at his steering wheel.

He had really liked Shawna. She was sweet and funny and matched him snark for snark, and he was just thinking it was time to ask her to spend the night, maybe even the weekend with him.

He had been sure she would see past the money, and the Stark name and stick around for the long haul, but apparently that wasn't the case.

Tony had thought they were taking everything at a reasonable pace, and since she hadn't complained about it, that she was fine with waiting to move forward.

Apparently that hadn't been the case either, and here he was single again, on the front of a tabloid again, frustrated over the emptiness in his life again.

Thank god for dinner with Rhodey.

Except no, there was another disappointment.

“Real sorry, Tones.” Rhodey said over the voice mail. “My baby niece has a recital tonight and I missed the last one so I gotta be there tonight. Can we reschedule for next week?”

Tony was just dialing his phone to call Rhodey back and give him hell about missing dinner before asking where the recital was so he could send flowers to his favorite little niece, but then he stepped out of the elevator--

--and tripped over the edge of the carpet and fell flat on his face.

It shouldn’t have been a big deal, but after such a long day it was just the one final thing that broke it all, and Tony flung his phone at the wall, smiling in a grim sort of satisfaction as it broke into about a thousand pieces.

And then he cursed a blue streak because why had he destroyed his phone?

Tony rubbed at his eyes, groaning in frustration, and trekked back into the elevator to head down to the basements of the Towers, to the company stock rooms.

There was at least a thousand phones in stock down there, extra inventory for the employees of the Tower, and Tony rifled through the boxes until he found one in the bright red he preferred.

Back up in the penthouse, Tony punched in Rhodey's number from memory and started shit-texting his best friend while he poured a glass of scotch.

-- Honey bear. This whole day has been bullshit. I actually tore my shirt on a nail this morning. A nail. In my house. It's like living in a third world country.

--Thanks but no thanks to any of your smart ass comments about how i know nothing of the third world. Tearing my shirt is my equivalent of a third world and you know it.

--Rhodey seriously your niece's recital isn't a valid reason for skipping out on our dinner together. Date nights are to be taken seriously and you skipping this one is completely unforgivable.

--But still, I'll send her some flowers because I'm sure she did wonderful.

--Hey do you remember that time in MIT where I stole everyone’s towels on our floor? Why don't we pull pranks like that any more?

--Oh no I remember. Because you’re boring and I'm thirty.

-- You need to text me back, I know you hear your obnoxious ring tone. I know you’re a Lieutenant Colonel and all that, but no one actually needs Born in the USA for a ring tone. Nobody is that patriotic

--Are you ever gonna ask Pepper out? Think our favorite redhead needs a date. She is wound TIGHT lately, if you know what I mean.

--Rhodey I swear to god if you don't start texting me back right now….

--I'm gonna drink this whole bottle of scotch and drunk text you the entire time. Text me back now and take preventative measures. Not too late for you to swing by for dinner. Is it going to be a whole month before I see you again? I feel like you only come by for work reasons Rhodey, is that anyway to treat your wife?

--really? Nothing to the wife comment? Tough crowd.

*******************

“Stevie, who the hell is texting you at two am?” Bucky complained and shoved at his boyfriends shoulder. “Wake up and turn your phone off.”

“Sorry.” Steve sat up in bed and rubbed at his eyes, squinting at the screen of his phone as it lit up repeatedly, the shrill ring tone destroying the usual quiet of their bedroom. “It's a number I don't recognize. Manhattan, I think.”

“Tell them to fuck off.” Bucky grumbled and rolled over, burying his face in his pillow. “We have to be awake in like three hours for a run.”

“I know babe. Let me just check and--- damn it. It's just a wrong number drunk texting.” Steve dragged his hand through his blond hair. “Some guy trying to get a hold of someone named Rhodey. Talking about missing their date night, and how Rhodey only comes around for work stuff anymore?”

“Oh, that's kind of sad.” Bucky sat up a little and frowned. “Poor guy. Missed date nights are rough.”

“Yeah, he keeps asking Rhodey to text him back. Which isn’t going to happen, because he’s actually texting me.” Steve laughed a little. “I guess I should let him know it's a wrong number.”

“Yeah, tell him it sucks to get ditched, then tell him to shut the hell up so I can sleep.”

“Easy, big guy.” Steve chuckled. “I'll let him know.”

--Hey man. Just thought I'd let you know that this is a wrong number. All 37 of your texts meant for “Rhodey” went to my number instead. Sorry to let you down, but I don't think your boyfriend knows you are mad at him.

*************

Tony blinked at his phone a few times when he received a text back from an unknown number.

“Oh damn.” he doubled checked the number. “I have definitely not been texting Rhodey all night.”

--Well this is embarrassing as hell. But you know, the polite thing to do would have been to reply at like, text four instead of letting me ramble on like I'm drunk or something.

--You did mention something about a bottle of scotch. And I just woke up because my phone wouldn't quit ringing.

--Do you have a better ring tone than Born in the USA?

--It's Big Blond and Beautiful

-- You’re kidding. From Hairspray? With Queen Latifah?

--I can't believe you knew that right away

--I can't believe you admitted it. Still better than Born in the USA. Sorry I woke you, but if you were really mad you would stop texting me instead of encouraging my rude behavior

--I guess that's fair. Sorry your boyfriend stood you up

--Not my boyfriend.

-- You said date night so I just assumed he was a boyfriend. Too bad he stood you up anyway. Maybe stop drinking and call it a night though, try texting him in the morning when you’re sober

--Thanks dad

--It's actually professor.

--Oh my.

-- So tell me professor. Is the big blond and beautiful a description as well as a ringtone?

--Well, no ones complained when they see me, at least. What about you? Blonde and beautiful?

--Brown eyed and brunette and mysterious. Not mysterious. Obnoxious. Brown eyed and brunette and obnoxious. So what do you do? Model?

--Yeah right. I teach Art History and several art classes at the university.

--Oh so you are ACTUALLY a professor. I thought that was like a weird role play thing.

--Little early in the game to be talking about that sort of thing isnt it?

-- You tell me. You're the one texting a drunk guy at 2 am

*******************

Steve laughed out loud and Bucky rolled over with a huff. “Babe, it's been half an hour, are you still talking to him?”

“Look.” Steve turned his phone so Bucky could see. “He’s funny.”

“Yeah, babe, I'm sure he's a damn comedian.” Bucky yawned and stretched, dropping a big arm around Steve's shoulders and tugging him down against his chest. “But you’re in bed with me so call it a night. Tell him you’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

“Yeah?” Steve raised an eyebrow. “I can talk to him tomorrow?”

“You know I don't care.” Bucky yawned again and held him tighter. “But I will care if you keep me awake any longer.”

“Sorry, baby.” Steve kissed him sweetly and shot off a quick text to the mysterious texter.

--I've got a class at eight am so I need to get some sleep, but can I talk to you tomorrow?

-- You want to talk to me more? What, like after class?

--Sure, my last class of the day is over at 3:45

--I was joking, professor. But alright. Let’s talk tomorrow.

--Looking forward to it. Do I get a name to go with this wrong number?

--Tony.

--Nice to meet you. I'm Steve.

-I'm putting you in my phone as Big and Blonde

-- I'm putting you in my phone as Mysterious

--Not obnoxious? You’re nicer than me for sure

--Well you know what they say, opposites attract. Blond and brunette, nice and obnoxious…

--Touche, teacher man

--Will you text me back in the morning?

--Try and stop me. are we in the same time zone?

--I'm in Boston

--Manhattan

--So no long distance charges then, right?

--Long distance charges for texting? I thought I was the drunk one

--I was trying to be funny

--Stick with being blonde

--Tomorrow, Tony

--Can't wait

Tony smiled down at his phone, and tossed it back onto the couch with a sigh.

Steve. Big and Blond. Could be fun.

***************

“You like him?” Bucky asked, rubbing his nose into Steve's hair as they curled back into the pillows together.

“Can't really tell over a text.” Steve returned, wrapping both his arms around his love. “But I mean, he's funny. And brunette.”

“And we both know funny and brunette is all it takes to get in your pants.” Bucky cracked a tired grin when Steve jabbed him in the ribs. “Easy as hell, ain't ya, Stevie?”

“You say that like you're complaining.”

“Sugar, you know damn well I'm not complaining.”

#ncts fics #stuckony #tony stark #bucky barnes #steve rogers #texting

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christopherblackmore · 7 years

Text

Day 2 (day 5) Lent - the struggle is upon me.

So it is day 2 (day 5 posting this) of lent. This year features without a doubt the most controversial line-up of given up things I have ever announced. The fact that I am already struggling should indicate the difficulty. But fight I shall. This year, for lent, I have given up four things:

- Crisps

- Fizzy drinks

- Take-away’s; including any restaurant that offers a take-away option

- Talking

No a bug didn’t just fly in your eye, you read that correctly, talking is amongst the things I have given up for 40 days in a row. I’ll give you a moment to close the jaw drop or stop the laughter… Those who know me and know of my work will know that I take what I do with excessive seriousness. An even smaller minority of you may know that I dabble in presenting my body with limitation and putting the body to the test. It’s fun. I use this time of year respectfully to do just that. The lent promise has always demonstrated to me how much will-power it can take to let go of everyday norms. My younger days may have brought about failure (we’re talking 9 or 10 years old… damn you Diet Pepsi), but I am a veteran in succeeding my lent promises. I pride myself in not only giving something up, but giving some things up; four being the most I have ever binned off. But this year, I’m scared.

Crisps are probably the most common thing I enjoy to binge. If I’m not ripping into a packet before a hearty gaming session, I’m pouring them over a fried egg on toast (trust me, try crushed Cheese and Onion crisps on egg; it won’t let you down). To say goodbye to these bad boys is tough especially when lunch time rears its important head. But this one I’ve done for years and I’m pretty good at it. Same goes for fizzy drinks. It’s amazing how much the sound of a fizzy canned drink being opened can trigger temptation. I’m convinced I’m addicted to fizzy drinks so kicking these for over a month is not just hard but might as well be dangerous. Take-away’s have a more financial benefit. Screw the health benefits, my wallet benefits over this month and a bit will sky rocket.

And finally, arguably the oddball of the group: no talking for 40 days and 40 nights and oh boyo is this tricky. I’m armed, almost permanently, with a pen and pad; ready to write responses and sentences of varying magnitude. Most of the people who I have had to “speak” to can read my lips well. Give me a merit in articulation. It’s amazing how many conversations can be completed using basic hand movements and head nods, and this is coming from a guy illiterate in sign language. Oh and if for some bizarre reason anyone wants to meet up for coffee and a chat, number one, you’re not funny, and number two you better be prepared to do my bidding in the nicest way possible. That means ordering for me and shielding your embarrassment from the eyes of curious diners.

Now there are exceptions to this promise that I have given myself. I’m an actor, and not talking at all would feel like the equivalent of Andy Murray waving his way onto the court ready to play a match with a frying pan. So, as not to hinder my work, I can talk during any number of working hours that have fallen upon me. For example, if I was deranged enough to go back into the world of office work and my hours were the classical 9-5, I could speak during these hours (lunch breaks included). For an actor, working hours can be flippant (sometimes non-existent AM I RIGHT?) and therefore my speaking periods will be sporadic. If I know I have an audition to prepare for, I will allocate myself a set time, say, three hours, where my voice will be permitted to run riot for the purposes of my work. Alternatively, if I already have a part and want to indulge in a little Method acting, then I am free to speak at will as long as I remain in that character. So instead of sipping wine with Christopher, you might be with John; a teenager battling depression and homework deadlines whilst trying to right the world with important poetry, who resides in a place called student film land. For the record that’s not a part I have nor going for but if it’s on the market then please speak to my agent. Happy to help.

But I don’t think I’m prepared for the anomalies of life. Sure I can pass a note to the barrister of Starbucks with my order and name but what to do if someone was sitting in a reserved train seat? What if my phone rings and its mum on the other end desperately trying to tell me that she’s left the oven on? What if I run out of toilet paper? All of these and more are too dreadful to even think about as I remain committed to this promise of silence. I will take each day as it comes and if necessary, get creative.

However, this is day 2 (5 actually) and not only am I discovering the struggles of this promise, but the interests as well. Remnants of past conversations from morning, noon and night can be seen lying about in the kitchen where, to be honest, most of my interactions take place in the family household and, to the unknowing, look like the scrawling’s of a madman. My brother has already stated that he has already adapted to looking at my mouth rather than my eyes when conversing with me; noting, quite dramatically, that once this is all over, talking to me may have changed forever. And Nan just sits awkwardly, laughing and repeating that she has every faith that I will succeed. At least my biggest fan has hope.

#lent #struggle #notalking #help #hard

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