#how do you write in 2nd person
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Lessons in Love
(Or why Enzo should be banned from advanced potion making)
Theodore Nott x Ravenclaw Reader
Summary: Ft. Enzo being bad at potions, the Ravenclaw common room door, and more than one accidental love confession.
word count: 3.3k
©️ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.
A deep sigh escapes your lips as you walk purposefully through the empty halls of the castle. You loved Enzo. Really, you did. But how that bastard had managed to squeeze enough O.W.Ls out of his arse to get into advanced potion making was absolutely beyond you.
It’s not that you thought your childhood best friend was dumb per se. You simply thought his talents lay elsewhere. Like in herbology. Or anywhere really where adding a pinch too much powdered moonstone didn’t result in a glittery pink potion exploding all over the front of your robes. This never would have happened of course, if your usual, equally talented, potions partner, Theodore Nott, had actually bothered to show up, but god only knew where that boy had wandered off to.
Walking into classes earlier that day you had been giddy with excitement. While potions may not have been Enzo’s forte, it was most definitely yours and advanced potions was finally giving you the challenge you had been craving. Amortentia, your professor had said, is the strongest love potion in the world, thereby making it exceptionally difficult to brew. You already knew this of course as it had all been detailed in the days readings. Not only would it make someone obsessively in love, but it also had an addictive scent, changing to fit what one was most attracted to. Now that was all well and good until one was covered in it.
Originally, you figured that all would be fine. Enzo profusely apologized, quickly following up with a joke about how “at least you’ll smell nice for once.” But oh how right he’d been. It started with students accidentally bumping into you in the corridor as you went from class to class as they subconsciously leaned in to follow the alluring scent. A minor inconvenience you thought. (Although you did have to choose to ignore that third year almost getting impaled on a statue’s sword because he wasn’t paying attention after you passed.)
But then Cho and Marietta couldn’t stop leaning in to get a whiff of the scent all throughout the start of charms, causing Flitwick to continuously shoot concerned glances at the three of you. You eventually caved, moving quickly and silently to the back of the class room where Enzo was sat with the rest of the Slytherins. As soon as he saw you making your way over, he leaned over, whispering something in Daphne’s ear beside him. She gives you a quick look of knowing pity before moving into the empty seats usually claimed by Theodore and Matteo who were, unsurprisingly, still no where to be found.
“For what it’s worth, I really am sorry,” Enzo mumbles, at least having the decency to look embarrassed as you plop into the seat beside him.
“This is horrible! I did not need to know that Marietta’s amortentia smells like bloody Cormac McLaggen or whatever his name is,” you hiss in response.
Enzo lets out a quiet chuckle, sneaking a quick glance at your house mate.
“Hey,” he whispers after a moment, “What do you smell anyway? You must be going mad having that stuff all over you.”
You shoot a glare at your friend. You had a sinking feeling he already knew, considering he had been poking fun at you for weeks. You shudder remembering all those disgusting kissy faces Enzo had been making at you from across the library just last week. Bloody bastard was fishing for confirmation. Maybe if you ignore him, he’ll simply go away you think to yourself. Enzo however, takes your silence as an admission of guilt, a grin spreading across his face.
“I knew it. So tell me y/n, what does dear Theodore Nott smell like? Cigarette smoke? Hippogriff dung?” He snickers.
“He is my best friend, Lorenzo,” you whisper, giving the boy beside you another withering glare.
Enzo’s face falls at this.
“I’m your best friend.” He grumbles.
“I don’t know why. You’re mean to me,” you reply with exasperation.
He immediately perks up again at this, giving you a slight nudge.
“So I’m right? You do like Theo?” He asks excitedly.
“Enzo, I will avada you, and make it look like an accident,” you hiss in response.
“Come on, y/n, I’m your best friend, you have to tell me these things,” he pouts.
“Oh really? Like how you have to tell me about how you’re probably smelling Daphne’s shampoo right now? Or is it her lavender perfume?” You ask innocently, batting your lashes.
Enzo goes beet red at this, gesturing wildly at you to lower your voice.
“Hush woman! She’s right there!” He hisses.
You say nothing, only giving him a triumphant grin before turning back to Flitwick to try to salvage what few notes you’d been able to take down that lesson.
The final straw occurred during ancient runes when poor, unsuspecting Hermione sat down behind you and asked with a look of bewilderment if you had been showered with Draco’s cologne that morning. Her look of absolute horror only grew as you told her of your distressing situation. You thought she might faint when she realized that Draco had been within earshot and now had a shit eating grin on his face. With a sigh of defeat, you give Hermione an apologetic smile before deciding it was time to turn in the white flag of defeat.
You breathe a heavy sigh of relief as you finally come to a stop outside your common room door. You then frown, realizing you had in fact, made it to your common room door.
“What makes a raven like a writing desk?” The metallic voice of the Ravenclaw common room door asks, springing to life.
This putrid, skanky little-
“You wouldn’t want me to shove either of them up your ars-“
A low whistle catches your attention before you’re able to finish cursing out your common room’s door thoroughly.
“Whoa there feisty, let the eagle be,” Theo’s voice laughs as he steps into view.
The strong scent of roasted coffee beans and smoke that had been burning your nostrils all day hits you once again like a ton of bricks. Giving the eagle another withering glare, you turn your full attention to the looming threat approaching. You would sooner throw yourself off of the astronomy tower than let Theo know that your amortentia smelled like him. Someone had to keep the boy’s bloody ego in check.
“Full offense Theodore, I’ve had a horrendously awful day today, and I really don’t have time for whatever nonsense you’re about to start.” You say with a roll of your eyes as you cross your arms at the boy in front of you.
Theo laughs again, mirroring your movements as he leans against one of the pillars lining the halls.
“Poor principessa. Have a hard day in classes without me?” He asks with a smirk.
You scowl in response. It didn’t help that you had, in fact, missed the brunette’s comforting, albeit annoying, presence all day, but you weren’t about to admit that.
“Now that you mention it, I didn’t even realize you were missing. What snake hole did you slither off to today?” You ask, the lie sliding easily off your lips.
Theo cocks as eyebrow at that but leaves it be.
“Matteo wanted to ditch, had to baby sit. Make sure he didn’t get into too much trouble. You know how it goes,” Theo replied shrugging his shoulders. “And what’s a pretty little witch like yourself doing skiving off class?”
Theo takes another step forward.
“Don’t come closer!” You yelp before you can stop yourself. You had no interest knowing what Theo would smell if he got close enough. He frowns at you however.
“And why not?” He challenges, taking another step towards you. This boy really did not take well to being told what to do.
“I- I smell. Really bad. Had to leave class, I just- ya know, smelled, so bad” You splutter, mentally kicking yourself. Who says that in front of the guy they like? Why were you like this?
Theo’s thick brows shoot up at your declaration before he takes a final large step towards you and leans in, pressing his hand against your forehead before moving it down to feel your cheek.
“Y/n are you ill? Do you need to go see Madam Pomfrey? I can walk you there if you’d like.” He says, any bit of snark his voice previously held long gone.
“I’m fine Theodore, really.” you say, batting his hand away.
“Are you sure?” He asks, looking at you disbelievingly.
He leans in again and takes in a whiff of your scent and you immediately tense, freezing where you are. God damn it. His brows furrow.
“Y/n, you smell perfectly normal, maybe a bit stronger than usual, but definitely not bad.” He says, looking even more confused.
Before you’re able to fully process the words that just came out of Theo’s mouth, Enzo and Pansy come barreling down the hall towards the two of you in a fit of giggles.
“Y/n! y/n, you know I’m sorry, really I am, but if dousing you in amortentia is all it takes to get Draco and Granger to make complete fools of themselves in front of each other, I’d do it again!” Enzo exclaims between breathy laughs. “You haven’t seen ferret boy run past, by chance, by the way have you?
“Sorry, amor-what now?” Theo asks, blinking as he purses his lips.
You look between the three of your friends in alarm, praying no one mentioned anything after Theo had just announced that you smelled perfectly normal to him.
“Oh, you’re going to wish you were there! After you left, Draco was so pleased with himself. Looked like a kid on Christmas. Kept trying to flirt with Hermione until she finally sent a flock of doves to run him out of the classroom! Professor wasn’t too happy bout that one. Let us go early to find the blonde loon,” Enzo says, completely ignoring Theo’s question.
“I’m sorry, amor-WHAT?” Theo asks again, louder this time.
You feel yourself cringe.
“Amortentia.” Pansy snorts. “Do try and keep up Teddy.”
“This is what you get for always skiving off class with Matteo,” Enzo adds, nodding at the boy as if he were his disappointed mother.
“Mhmm. Enzo totally floozied over y/n’s potion this morning. Blew it up all over her and she’s been having people wander up to her to take a sniff all day.” Pansy tells him with a sniff.
Theo blinks again before slowly meeting your eyes as what he said only moments earlier begins to sink in. Pansy, ever the cunning witch, was lightening quick to catch on.
“Speaking of which, I am suddenly so interested in what exactly it is that you smell, dearest Teddy,” Pansy says as her eyes flicker between the two of you, a mischievous grin growing on her face.
Theo scowls at the nickname.
“Campfire.”
“Old parchment.” You say in unison.
Pansy smirks.
“Do you smell that Enzo?” She asks, making a show of sniffing the air around her. “I think I smell- a liar. Or two.”
Enzo only snickers as he eyes the both of you up. He knew exactly what you had been smelling all day and you begin to feel panic rise up in your chest. You send a menacing glare his way, daring him to open his mouth.
“Come on Pans, I don’t think Draco and Granger are the only ones who’ll be chatting up tonight,” he says finally.
Glaring at the pair’s disappearing backs, you once again turn slowly back to the problem at hand.
“Soo,” Theo starts at the same time you blurt out,
“This is entirely your fault.”
Theo’s mouth drops open, and he has the audacity to look offended.
“How do you figure mi amore?” He asks.
“You’re supposed to be my partner in potions, but you weren’t there today, so I had to work with,” you shudder, “Enzo.”
Rolling his eyes at your dramatics and giving you a small smile, Theo lets himself relax, leaning on the wall as he towers over you.
“Enzo isn’t so bad,” he says, slowly bringing a hand up to rest on your waist, gently moving you towards him. You pretend not to notice, taking a small, nervous step forward.
“He singed off Matteo’s eyebrows last year. The year before that, he didn’t realize there was a difference between fire flower and fired flour, and his potion melted through the floor. I heard a Puff call him Slytherin’s Seamus,” you retort. “Do you realize how bad you have to be at something to get made fun of by a Hufflepuff?” He snorts at that, cocking his head in agreement.
“Well I’m sorry alright? I’ll make it up to you.”
“You’ll have to. I have to go in again to remake the potion. Don’t want that bad mark on my grade.”
Theo only hums at this, as you’re finally standing nose to chest with him, forcing you to tilt your head up to still see his face.
“You really do smell nice,” he murmurs, pressing his nose lightly into your hair.
You make a face before nuzzling into his chest to hide the redness growing on your cheeks.
“I’m not talking about this in public. I simply refuse,” you say, trying to melt into him from pure embarrassment.
Theo looks down at you with a devilishly handsome grin before turning back to your long forgotten common room door.
“Hey, open up. She technically answered your little riddle earlier,” he tells the door.
The eagle grumbles something unintelligible as it starts to life again.
“I can always melt you down. I’m sure you’d make a great piss pot,” Theo threatens, going to pull out his wand.
The door swings open rather violently and you’re pretty sure you can hear a rather colorful string of curses come out of the eagle’s beak as you make your way inside. Having been there a thousand times before, Theo easily leads you to your shared, but thankfully empty, dorm room, closing the door behind you.
“You really don’t get along with that eagle, do you principessa?” He asks, throwing his shoes off and making himself comfortable on your bed like he usually did.
“Like you’re any better. You just threatened to turn it into a chamber pot,” you retort, falling easily back into your usual banter. This was fine. This was safe.
Theo only raises a brow at you.
“The blasted door is still mad at me for making a ur mum joke when it asked me if a chicken came before the egg in front of a bunch of second years.” You admit, letting your arms fall to your side.
Theo lets out a loud laugh at that shaking his head and extending his arm for you. You walk carefully towards the bed before hesitantly accepting his invitation. It’s not that cuddling with Theo was something unfamiliar to you, as much as you were hyper aware of the slightly awkward tension between the two of you that wasn’t usually there. You slide your shoes off as well before curling up next to him and laying your head on his chest. The two of you lay in silence and you slowly let your eyelids flutter shut, lost in the feeling of Theo’s chest rising and falling.
“You know. You still haven’t told me what your amortentia smells like,” Theo says, finally breaking the silence as he gently brings his hand up to run his fingers through your hair.
“Take a wild fucking guess,” you murmur, refusing to open your eyes and determined to get further lost in his warm touch.
He only hums in response, continuing to comb his fingers through the soft locks of hair.
“You know when Enzo asked me if I smelled you today, he thought you’d smell like hippogriff dung,” you say eventually.
“Fucking tosser. What did that git smell? Wild lavender?”
“And Daphne’s shampoo.”
You feel Theo snort as if he expected no less of your ever romantic best friend. Silence once again rolls over the both of you as you absentmindedly play with the edge of his shirt, rolling the soft fabric between your fingers nervously. The quiet begins to feel suffocating, so you open your mouth to speak, but Theo beats you to it.
“Champagne. And that perfume you always use. With the little white flowers. Lilies of the valley, right?” Theo says.
You open your eyes to look at him in confusion.
“That’s what you smell like.” He says, carefully running his hand down your spine, sending a shiver through you.
“I smell roasted coffee. And smoke. Not the fire-y kind though. The kind that sticks to your clothes cause you refuse to quit smoking.” You respond, looking into his eyes warily for his reaction.
Theo only smirks in response, a cocky grin spreading across his face.
“Aw mi amore, I’m what you’re most attracted to?” He asks, the teasing bait evident in his voice.
You feel heat rise to your cheeks as Theo gazed intently down at you in his arms.
“Shut up Theodore. You sure know how to ruin a moment,” you say, once again burying your face in a chest.
You feel his chest rumble with laughter before his hand snakes it way up to your chin, tilting your head up and capturing your lips with his. His lips are softer than you imagined as he moves them gently against yours. You let a soft gasp escape and Theo pulls you closer, gripping your waste tightly, and shifting you on top of him, deepening the kiss until you’re both left gasping for air.
“Was that more of what you had in mind amore?” He asks with an innocent smile, looking up at you with what you could only describe as his best baby seal eyes.
“I mean, you were definitely significantly more shirtless when I imagined it, but I can settle.” You joke.
Theo’s eyes darken however, and he lifts you as if you weigh nothing, flipping you over so that he now hovered above you, your back pinned against the bed beneath you. With one swift movement, Theo pulls his shirt up and over his head before lowering himself back down, his chest now pressed against yours.
“Better?”
You can’t help but laugh at the boy’s determination as your eyes shamelessly take in the lean muscle and tanned skin that was current above you.
“Theodore, as much as I enjoy this, you have to put your clothes on. Cho or Marietta could walk in at any time,” you tell him as you begin to make soft circles across his waist line with your thumbs, admiring the boy in front of you.
“Mm. You mouth is saying one thing, but these,” he says, placing his hands over yours, “are saying something else entirely.”
You roll your eyes, pulling your hands out from under his and handing him his discarded shirt.
“One kiss?” He asks, looking at the shirt as if it had mortally offended him.
“One kiss.”
He leans down, once again capturing your lips with his, but with more intensity this time. You feel one of his hands brush your waist as his thumb pushes up under your shirt, the rest of his hand following soon after, gripping tightly at the warm skin beneath. You let out a breathy moan when he flicks his tongue across your bottom lip, and he takes it as an invitation to let his tongue explore the rest of your mouth.
An awkward cough shakes you from the haze and you look up, over Theo’s shoulder to see Cho standing guiltily in the doorway.
“Sorry,” she says, looking literally anywhere but you and the shirtless boy above you. “Bad time?”
You cover your eyes in embarrassment, feeling heat once again rush to your cheeks.
“What did I tell you!” You groan, letting your head fall back onto your mound of pillows. Meanwhile Theo has a much too self satisfied grin across his face.
#harry potter universe#harry potter#slytherin boys#slytherin#ravenclaw#lorenzo berkshire#theodore nott#draco malfoy#matteo riddle#daphne greengrass#pansy parkinson#fanfic#harry potter fanfiction#theodore nott x reader#how do you write in 2nd person#theo nott#theo nott x reader#theo nott x y/n#theodore nott x y/n
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You're a medicinal apprentice of the Pearl clan, and today, your clan found a ghost-touched elder out in the snow.
It's your job to help him, even if this too tall man, covered in strange clothing, is babbling in tongues. His hair is a dull grey, his eyes shine vacant, and his extremities are in desperate need for treatment of frostbite.
He's got a head wound. The other healers, you hear them discuss how that must be making it all worse. He looks deceptively young — but he can't be, eyes glowing like a man with a claim on his soul.
None of you know where he could have come from. You're surprised the patrol didn't think he was a zoroark. They probably did. But as you pump his fingers, encouraging sluggish blood back into them, you can feel he is very, very real.
It's a duty, to serve those older than you, even when they're marked like this. The ghost-touched end up like children, tantrums and illogical and lost. Until the ghost that caused it finds the light of the fire it left behind their eyes again, until it can steal them away forever.
You are spending a lot of medicinal resources on a man who will certainly not last the winter.
You believe it's compassion. The clan takes him in, and when he finally remembers a few real words, they welcome in Ingo, to make his stay, however short, kind.
But it's not as short as you expect — as anyone expects.
Each passing day, his twisted words resolve slowly into real language once more. Strange utterances still pepper his speech, but he's becoming knowable. He communicates, his memories have been robbed from him. And everyone believes him, because what else could leave a man so old unable to fend for himself?
You're worried for him. He doesn't remember to be cautious. You patch up his cuts and scrapes he develops from exploring the outskirts of camp, it's spring and he's still here. It would be something to rejoice if his eyes didn't still glow. If his fate wasn't still so very clear.
It's cruel, to draw it out. None of you want him to leave, this kind old man who has forgotten everything, volume control especially, but who plays with the children and does his best to relearn tasks and is that sort of gentle that can only be a product of experience, however lost. None of you want him gone, but it's cruel that the ghost coming for him is taking its time. Letting him regrow a life for himself. Letting others become attached.
You can see how everyone is thinking it, when they look at him more with pity, when they keep a bit of distance. You have no choice, his designated healer now, and he certainly comes to your tent regularly. Not just for healing, but with berries as gifts, little wood carvings that look like they were made by a child as apology for all the work he makes you do. You cannot reject any of it, and the ties anchoring you to this lost soul grow stronger.
You'd feel resentful, but you can't.
Time passes, and come summer, his penchant for being unafraid of the wildlife becomes a problem. He ends up bringing home a gligar, getting poisoned so often he becomes the sole user and contributor to your pecha stores. They may as well be housed with him, but he seems to enjoy checking in on you while halfway to his deathbed due to his companion's stinger. Over time, he comes in less, less due to his companion gaining better control, more due to his own developing immunity.
The day Lady Sneasler chooses him as her warden, many wonder if there was a claim on his soul at all.
But you can't forget how he came here, eyes flashing in the light, bereft of language and life and skills. Even now, he is often nonsensical, well meaning but lost. Meant for the next world.
He takes to it well, and survives to the next winter, and the next, growing his impossible team of companions. You've never seen anyone guide pokemon in the way he does, and you wonder how much of it is that insane lack of fear that could only be caused by having his soul unmoored and his former life stripped away.
When the sky breaks open, the nobles frenzy. You have little time to worry about your favorite patient, because instead you're treating wounds from pokemon that should have never hurt anyone.
He starts to guide people, showing up in the morning, taking them where they need to go — especially through the highlands. From what you've heard, the rift has made the pokemon there untameable. You worry for him, but all you get are reports of how he must be remembering his past as a fierce warrior, because how else could he so confidently command pokemon and people alike? How else could he face off and win against alpha pokemon that attack his caravans, make them his companions as well?
He uses the capture devices that the foreigners in the fieldlands do, and one night, he shows you how the pokemon can escape them on their own — they're more for ease, he says. It's much easier to carry his team like this. You imagine the towering pokemon he's showed you being led through camp, and you agree the balls are a good idea.
The sky turns red, and you don't hear from him.
The sky turns blue, and you don't hear from him.
But he returns, and says he's remembering, now. He'll be staying down with Jubilife, for a while. Battling, helping the foreigner who fell from the sky and calmed Almighty Sinnoh. He says, he may be able to go home.
You don't let him see how those words could bring you to tears. His clock has always been near running out, you knew this. But he had never seemed to.
Eventually, he does his rounds. Says his goodbyes. He's standing up straighter, seeming younger, a last burst of energy, you think. He thanks you, for everything you've done.
He goes to the mountain, and he doesn't come back.
You erect a little memorial in your home, for the man with eyes that glowed far longer than anyone's ever had before. For the man who loved the world, pokemon, battling. You hope, wherever he is beyond this world, he is happy, and safe. That the man he was and the man he became can reconcile. You thank his spirit, for the time it spent in your life, and the next time one of the clan's elders loses their mind to the ghosts of the land, it's him you think of as you care for them.
#submas#i think about the fact that like. idk early onset dementia would seem like suuuuuch a good explanation for ingo#it was interesting to write an outsider pov#who fundamentally misunderstands the situation. but like. still cares deeply#i also tried to consider how a medical condition like that would be viewed before more specific development of diagnoses and how it would#interact with like... pokemon#anyway hard to explain to your healer that youre just an amnesiac from the future when you look like a classic case of 'dislodged soul soon#to be consumed by ghost pokemon'#my writing#i dont normally do 2nd person... it was interesting
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I'm having way too much with this chapter that I was struggling on just yesterday. What the fuck. Holy fuck. This is what happens when I read a fanfic with a great narrative voice that I adore. I just start going off, I guess. This means Kim's going to be very inwardly opinionated and vocal in Chapter 6.
Anyway whoo Chapter 6 preview for A Toast To The Pigs, a fanfic where Harry didn't lose his memory in Martinaise and still has to solve the case. This preview skips the next chapter:
“…I lost you there, didn’t I?” Harrier asked, sounding disappointed. “Somewhere at the end.”
Kim lifted his eyes from his notebook. He stopped flicking his pen in his fingers to push his glasses back up from where they were sliding. Harrier was watching Joyce Messier, a brow raised and a half-crooked grin plastered on his face. Some offshoot of that odd expression of his. Joyce Messier smiled apologetically, shaking her head.
Ah. Joyce Leyton-Messier. Kim had almost forgotten entirely that she was there. She really was committed to just listening to his theories and not sharing anything. What was it again that spurred Harrier to share absolutely everything about his theories right here? Rather than somewhere he and Kim could go over in private? Wasn’t this supposed to be confidential?
These were just theories. Perhaps it didn’t matter. Perhaps it was another can-opening.
All right, big man. Wet dog. Can-open away.
#disco elysium#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#wyrm writes#a toast to the pigs#so far this chapter is now at 10k+ words#depending on how much longer i'll spend on joyce i might split the end of chapter 6 into chapter 7#because i want to do an hdb chapter summary with joyce and the subject of like#the end of what i currently have of chapter 6#(each chapter summary is a brief 2nd person hdb pov)#shit's subject to change you know. this is first draft shit. lookit them go#anyway this is fun. they're having fun. I'M having fun. kim's excited. can you tell#did you know on desktop you can drag and drop the tags that you wrote#i didn't know that!!! i just found that out!!! by trying it out!!! so cool
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sometimes i'll think abt a Fandom and wish it were bigger, and sometimes i'll read something from a fandom.. and wish it were smaller
#ppl seeing a confident black man : FINALLY! A PERFECT ANTAGONIST FOR OUR STORY!#THE CORRUPTOR!! THE ASSHOLE! MR KNOWS ALL!#i want to be bigger into football. i rlly do#but . omg. sometimes seeing just So Much . side eye shit is . like imagine my exhaustion#and this isnt me trying to be the behavior police like let ppl write but sometimes seeing such. Fun. patterns can be like#idk man it's sad like damn thats rlly how the world is and obvs i KNOW how it can be but it's real wack#real wack being reminded even in ur supposed happy place ur supposed lighthearted little break from the world#it's still not . idk. it's just not#oh the poor pale blond qb just a little anxious baby oh and his evil zany teammates trying to corrupt him oh theyre so terrible for my angel#:/#.. that is. a Grown. Man .#it's like replaying my 2nd grade teacher ******** me bcs i was a troublesome kid and it made her feel young and alive and bad again#like wtf am i corrupting you with maam? skibbity toliet ? leave me alone !!#listen. if it were smthing like 'x rlly likes tomatoes' when he actually likes idk carrots? i would not give a fuck. infact i prefer carrots#but bad patterns have smthing more to say bcs patterns in general have a story#it's more than 'he would not fucking say that' it's 'WHY tf are YOU making HIM say THAT of ALL people & THINGS???'#like i love having asshole characters in my stories too. and they can be poc ! NO ONE is a saint!#but having one just to fuel the only one u actually care abt? having their problems solely be for plot?? & making that one#a SPECIFIC kind of person ?? is kinda giving me 'u dont view x as a human which could mean you dont view x race as humans'#WHICH IS !! IT SUCKS ! THAT SUCKS!#i know i need to just suck it up and ignore it but thats like the life quote of being poc isnt it#ugh#it sucks
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The unbreakable bond between two disconnected ends
While I do think that Deku is incredibly heroic, I also subscribe to the idea he loses himself the most and goes hardest specifically when it comes to Kacchan, I can’t see him motivated to this extent and acting what appears to be without limit for any other character and between us and Horikoshi knowing this little fact, it makes Bkdk so endearing and easy to rally behind.
A part of me feels that Kacchan sees all of Deku’s actions for him only as his reckless heroism, and that Deku would be like this for anyone… and this might be why they haven’t come to truly understand one another yet. Like is it really such a big coincidence that with the exception of Katsuki Bakugou Rising, Kacchan and Deku have never shown each other their heart and how strongly they feel for one another? Whether it’s simply batting in their corner to others or this deep emotional connection they have causing them stress and worry about the other, tirelessly wanting to get Deku back to the point of sleeplessness, even breakdowns and Deku’s quirk awakenings over Kacchan.
Hence Izuku’s shock with the apology and not accepting being called Izuku by him right away. That was surely because he doesn’t understand the scope of which Kacchan has fiercely worried over him and how that worry is now coming from a love for Izuku that’s probably always been resting inside him.
But we all know that rather than plain and platonic heroism, that likewise, when it involves Kacchan, Deku’s own loud actions have been coming from a place in his heart occupied by this unchangeable pure love for him and also Deku’s complete inability to accept his own existence in the world without Kacchan somewhere within his reach. Think of “Give him back!” That was the stubborn side of Izuku that wouldn’t let Kacchan go to a place where he couldn’t see him, watch over him and confirm his existence that’s right in front of him. What incredible attachment he has always felt towards him, despite everything.
Izuku kept tabs on Kacchan to the point he knows when he last spoke to him. To Deku, it didn’t matter what Kacchan was doing, as long as he could ascertain his presence nearby and that he’s okay, even if they weren’t necessarily on friendly terms. And Kacchan very much felt the same thing about Deku. “Watch me, Deku.” Watch how strong and cool of a hero I am, watch my back with those big eyes of yours and praise me like you always do. But when he realised Izuku was no longer in his reach, Kacchan fought in earnest for a chance to get him back again, to not just trailing behind him but by his side. Which is why their distance being removed and them communicating like best friends again is such a big deal and would absolutely mean the world to both of them.
I’ve always had a vague sense that Kacchan had been running away from Deku. Which side of Deku had Kacchan been running away from all this time? Heroism? Love? Both? Because Deku’s heart scared him. He didn’t just envy it or feel inferior to it - he also feared it. To me, Kacchan rejecting Deku’s kindness feels like someone saying no to a warm hug from somebody they care about on a freezing winter’s day. It made no sense. He pushes affection away so much to the point that he’s virtually touch starved now. So why did he really do it? It’s one of Decchan’s mysteries that I wish was explained fully.
And on the other side of things, Deku’s actions towards Kacchan felt more and more nonsensical as the story unfolded. There’s this confounding enigma that despite Kacchan treating Deku awfully for years, Deku has consistently always jumped very strongly to Kacchan’s defense - which makes you wonder what it is about them that allowed Deku to carry his four year old self’s pure and positive feelings towards Kacchan for so long. (This is why middle schooler bkdk is top tier dj for me, they often come up with their own answer to fill the gaping hole of missing context in this complicated bkdk puzzle.) And while I can’t consolidate in my head the truth to the mystery of their past that became such a complicated relationship in its current state (at least not a truth that belongs in a shounen… unless..? haha), I do know that Kacchan is now acutely aware of the fact this entire time he has been loved, not looked down on, by Deku and realised when Deku almost died that he also possesses feelings of love and attachment towards Deku too.
This revelation honestly affected him in a big way. It broke Kacchan’s hardened walls down piece by piece over time, until there was quite literally nothing left but his own exposed heart that he plainly laid out for Izuku.
The shot of the wound from his sacrifice that reopened - bleeding, vulnerable. A beautiful metaphor for his exposed heart and truth that he openly gives to Izuku for the first time in front of everybody. Because he realised Izuku is more important to him than his guilt and his shame and his pride.
And because they are such an iconic and invincible duo who above anything else, want to take care of each other, this does have me hoping Izuku will take his vulnerable heart and treat it gently at the end of everything, shounen or not.
But as of now, we’re at an emotional stand-still from Izuku’s side.
Kacchan’s words aged very well, past hundreds of chapters because despite being the protag of the story, we are always left wondering how Deku really feels. Kacchan’s frustration at Deku and characterisation of him here is so accurate lately 😅
I get the sense that all of this ambiguity they feel from the other has been written there for a reason and will have a meaningful climax where they will come to understand each other in the coming fight. Horikoshi places purpose behind all of the dialogue he writes - so with the dialogue between Deku and Toga in mind, when it comes to Izuku and Kacchan’s history and both not being fully aware of how much they care for one another, I think in the near future, they will acknowledge the inspiration and strength they’ve found in each other. “Don’t you also want to share the same heart?” Kacchan has been doing this with Izuku ever since DvK2 and we all know Izuku draws his own powers from Kacchan since the very beginning because he sees Kacchan not only as his personal hero, but as the embodiment of strength and confidence and overcoming one’s hardships. He watched him for years win against his biggest one of all: himself.
Because it’s not only All Might he’s been wanting to become more like, but someone else even closer to him. Someone who, without fail, has always motivated him to go beyond, above himself and even all logic and reason. And that someone has always been Kacchan. Ever since they were little. So now I am hoping they come to understand what’s inside each other’s hearts (especially Deku’s which is always shrouded in mystery.)
They understand each other’s strategies perfectly, and yet Izuku and Kacchan have always had this big gap whenever it came to knowing their true feelings. So as an answer to their disconnect over the years, an answer to their relationship which contains a mysterious and profoundly deep bond that leaves us wishing their gap to close even more, it makes sense that a moment will come to pass where they’ll really see and understand each other for the first time, without all of this evasiveness we’ve gotten used to.
#bakudeku#kana writes#bnha meta#op#Kacchan needs an answer to put his heart at ease we are missing Deku’s true feelings as always#as fanficy as it sounds thats whats happened and needs to happen to placate this#gaping hole in their relationship that you can see Kacchan wants to be filled with Izuku#the person Deku has taken the most inspiration from is probably Kacchan so it’s quite funny he only mentions all might#when Kacchan’s bright hopeful eyes gave him hope and dreams too#horikoshi you are going to have to address this sooner or later sir 😅#long post#(again sorry) XD'#also how this manifests is uncertain but maybe it has something to do with AFO/OFA#i like the idea of a metaphysical connection#because these guys are so bad at communicating to each other their feelings lol#something that will force them to communicate would be nice#im excited for 2 things: 2nd's power and bkdk getting closer lol#🙏❤️ it’s a very sad time on social media lately so I’m sending my prayers
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Tarn, did you ever notice that there are surprisingly many people who want to see you dead?
You know the saying "keep your friends close and your enemies closer?"
I jumped a few steps ahead and made my friends my enemies. Two in one packet.
#but also yeah lol you're right#you know those *whodunnit* mysteries where theres one dead person and multiple people who could have done it?#that would work alarmingly well for me#actually hold on#the 2nd anniversary of the heritage blog is coming up#all i need to do until then is learn how to make a visual novel style game + figure out how to write a good murder mystery and bam#the murder of LHP#all that only in the span of like#5 months#yeah sure that totally sounds possible
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Martin Shaw as the gorgeous Sir Charles Cartwright in 'Three Act Tragedy' (2010)
#I stopped being normal about this a long time ago!#just look at all these sweet smiles#and I always go 'aww my poor baby!'#when he says 'someone has murdered my friend'#that scene from the 2nd gif always slays me#you can't tell me he is so oblivious to how beautiful he is#also the person who is responsible for that haircut deserves ALL the praise!#it's simply perfect!#sigh...#anyway I needed some break from my writing since the last chapter was rather challenging#so looking at him now might remind me why I'm doing this#he's so worth it though#sir charles cartwright#martin shaw#three act tragedy
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feeling like a total asshole today 👍
#an aunt's mom passed away yesterday night#i didn't really know her that much just spoke to her a few times for the typical merry christmas & happy new year you know#so when my mom told me i felt bad for my aunt bc i knew they were really close but i don't feel SAD#but my parents seemed to be like so shocked and sad and my little brother even started crying#and i felt absolutely nothing#idek what my mom saw in my face but she went like 'don't you feel anything?' and like wtf am i supposed to feel#like. i'm sorry for my aunt and everything but i just?????#that already made me feel like an absolute asshole but now we have to go there (like 2hours away by car)#and because i am an adult now i *have* to go to the funeral home (?) today and to the funeral tomorrow#and i REALLY don't want to and thought it's making me so fucking anxious bc i haven't been there since my grandma passed away 2 years ago#i really don't want that feeling that i felt back then to come back#not right now#not when i've been starting to feel a bit better this past week#but i'm already failing at that because they started to come back the moment i was told i have to go#and i feel like a fucking asshole because my aunt's mom literally passed away and she (and her whole family) must be heartbroken right now#and all i can think about is that i'm anxious#i'm anxious to go back there. i'm anxious just thinking that i'll have to express my condolences to people that i don't even know#i'm anxious because i'll have to TALK to people and at least try to look a bit SAD but i can't just fake it#bc if i don't look sad my brain tells me that i'm an asshole that doesn't have feelings like apparently everyone around me has#but if i fake it my brain tells me that i'm an asshole bc why tf do i have to fake my fucking personality#why can't i just express my fucking feelings like normal people do and the only thing that i know how to do is fucking complain#like. i know i rant a lot here but it's literally the only place where i talk about my feelings#i NEVER talk about my feelings with anyone because idk HOW to do it#i have like a million things in my mind that i want to tell my mom or my therapy for example but when i finally convince myself to do it#i just CAN'T. the thoughts won't leave my mouth because i don't know how to phrase them properly#so nothing ever leaves my mind unless i make a post here bc apparently writing my thoughts in english (my 2nd language)#is easier than talking in spanish#and at least if i write them here they don't just stay bottled up in my mind#but i'm too tired of myself and my stupid brain that tells me that i do everything wrong :/#i'm gonna shut up now bc i once again reached the tag limit
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just thought of the premise for the professor!geto fic & i’m excited hehehehe <3
#i think it’s a unique premise! :p i’m excited to explore the story :’)#sukuna is included bc i love him he’s my bestie i love sukuna as a best friend in au’s so much 😭#a bad bitch but also a nerd! blunt/takes no shit but is also v protective of you <333#might work on this before catoru bc omfg……… catoru got me against the ropes……… fear i may just have to scrap & rewrite it all 😭#cuz when i’m writing i notice that idk if i’m doing active or passive voice OR doing 1st/2nd/3rd person like girl what are yew doing rn#AND IT’S SOOOOO FKN BORING WHEN I DO DIALOGUE ESP BEFORE & AFTER like how many times can i say ‘nanami says’ ‘nanami exasperated’ etc… like#it’s so BORING no flavor i just forget how to explain things 😭 like how do i write that better/more engagingly??? 😭😭😭#gonna have to learn that tbh#anywayz. prof!geto got the storyline/summary set i just need to write it now#maybe i’ll get back to catoru after writing some of prof!geto methinks i just need smthn else to work on#it’s all good practice anyways but i still wanna make it decent for whoever requested it 😭#personal
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In honor of receiving the woozi carat version fml album:
*ahem*
The wedding was very impulsive. Very unlike the both of us. Neither him nor I understand how we ended up here. Woozi's my husband. But we're both horrible at expressing our emotions, so I know the marriage won't last. I think it will lean more towards quiet quitting rather than a big, dramatic ending. That's okay, though. We'll have fun while we have it. At least, I will. That is, if I don't think about how unfair I'm being to him.
He definitely thinks I'm cringe. But his best friend is Hoshi. He should be used to that. Also, he's as obsessed with anime as I am with other things, so he should get me a little bit. I think he finds the cringe endearing. But he never says so. I'm frustrated he doesn't express himself often. Even if that is hypocritical of me. But I love how passionate he is when he works. His ambitious, creative side is what makes my heart skip. Watching him while he writes a song or performs in front of an audience is really the only time I ever see that emotional side of him that I so desperately crave to experience.
However, I am very much in love with another person. The guilt I have over that love claims my voice. I allow it to prevent me from even attempting to open up to my husband. I do have a love for Jihoon. Definitely an adoration, a respect, an attraction. But it's not quite the same kind of love that I have for them. The kind of love one would expect to have for a life partner. Although, have I ever really considered Woozi my life partner? I often wonder if I am too cruel to him. No. I know I am. I don't know if Jihoon's accepting of my love of another, or if he even knows about it. I don't ask. He doesn't volunteer that information. Because why would we ever talk about it?
*end scene*
#jumping in a hole and hiding for the rest of the day#i will never expound upon this#i will (probably) never write again#no one perceive me#why did this turn out so angsty?#it didn't start angsty#also i only know how to write a narrative in 1st or 3rd person#how do you writers on here always write in 2nd person?#it feels unnatural which is why i didn't try#ANYWAY#bex.text
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Someone should tell my body that frequent nose bleeds while on my period &/or when I’m dehydrated is counterproductive and particularly aggravating to deal with when I’m just about to eat, sleep, or go out. Waking up to it every day is bad enough.
#currently writing this one handed while I wait for my blood to stop leaving my body so I can go the fuck to sleep#have you ever found yourself roaming the unfamiliar halls of the campus catholic center dressed for a concert you’re now running late to#while bumping into people left & right and bleeding because it was the closest place open? no? just me?#have you ever had to make a very sudden and quick descent from the awesome high-rope course you’ve been waiting your entire high school#career to try because suddenly there’s blood coming out of you half way up & by the time you deal with it there’s no time for a 2nd chance?#have you ever had to awkwardly stand in the bathroom as people come in & out as they give you their (bad) advice on how to deal with your#3rd nose bleed of the day? IF I TILT MY HEAD BACK I WILL CHOKE I know this through experience#have you ever tasted and felt blood go down the back of your throat?#have you ever coughed up blood? bonus points for doing so in public bathrooms#have you ever had a bloody nose so long that you missed your bus and had to wait extra long in winter for the next one?#I think I’m good now. probably won’t choke if lie down 👍 goodnight!!#personal
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Idk what the hell just happened but I think I made a sequel/prequel to that Ben Hanscom one shot I did forever ago,,, so anybody interested ?
#again its all in 2nd person and no pronouns or descriptors it that helps at all#girl (gender neutral) i didnt know i knew how to do that [write]#ben hanscom x reader#ben hanscom x you#i know some people asked for me to continue and to tag them so ill be happy to do that if yall are interested
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having ocs is so funny i made this little guy to be a whore in a miserable toxic relationship where theyre both so terrible they kind of cancel each other out but then i said "no. you know what. i want them to be loved again" so i built them this whole arc where they leave with their family and fall in love with a new guy who is good for them and helps them in their journey of personal growth or whatever and i focused on that for like 2 weeks
and then i was like. ok but the first guy was way more entertaining. so i wrote an au where the first guy just fucking kidnaps them and their entire sense of self crumbles
#ramblings#oc ramblings#sorry for writing a love triangle do you still love me#this au is also way more fucked up than what they were like before they went for the second guy#because instead of 2 people being terrible to each other#its one person who wants to be better SO BAD but whose partner keeps telling them they cant#and they doubt their own ability to be better so much that they cant bring themselves to argue#but because of how good the 2nd guy was theres still the lingering sense of wanting to be a good person#so its not 2 people who suck ass cancelling each other out#(esh youre perfect for each other never expose anyone else to what you have going on though)#its 1 person who sucks even MORE ass than before and one person whos just. a victim#and the bad guy is now also jealous of. yk. the guy who treated them with basic human decency and wants their love but Like That#which fucks him up as well. its great. no one is happy but by god theyll pretend to be
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Dentist/teeth venting lol
#turns out i have inflamed gums and the cleaning hurts like a bitch#the dentists are always so rough stabs and leaves me bleeding near the end#told the liquid to clean my mouth was gross then proceed to lift my chair without warning me i ended up swallowing some out of surprise#did x rays and they dig into my gums so bad i literally could taste blood during#“you need to floss more” i dont know how to care of braces! the first day of getting them you guys said ok and sent me off without any info#google doesnt tell you shit as a 17 y/o then questioning me using terms ive never heard of before im not a dentist im confused dumbass ;A;;#they dropped my wire theyre supposed to put back in my mouth and couldnt find it i saw it drop under the counter and struggled to pick it u#also struggled to put a new wire on and spent over 10 min trying to put back my rubber bands#i cant open my mouth bigger than that! my mouth is small im a tiny person please stop stabbing me with those sharp tools every 5 seconds#guess who just found that tiny lost broken wire in mouth as im writing this#when they cut my wire to fit in my mouth they lost them of both sides in my mouth and i could only found one until now#gave me mismatched color bands so i have black and red im not going to open my mouth until i go back loll#took 10 min to put my bands back and struggled so hard they were pacing back n forth and cursing shit motherfuck fuck damn instead 1 min#that part was amusing no matter how long it took them they kept asking if i was okay when i felt like i should be asking them that#my venting is out of order but the first dentist was so apologetic and kind joking with me and trying to calm down when I wasn't nervous#i couldn't stop smiling at their clumsiness but 2nd dentist was rough and wanted to speedrun me it hurt#ive been there for two hours i dont care if youre slow i just want it carefully#left there shaking and bleeding#not my worst experience ngl but doesnt make me feel less shitty#the place i go do not care about me for the almost past 2 years ive been there#my anger left im just being whiny now#flame vents#dentist
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family vacation is the best for cleaning up my TBR. just finished gideon the ninth and I feel fucking haunted and ready to do anything to get harrow the ninth in my hands post haste.
#there's genuine 2nd person pov in harrow the ninth#do you even know how much shit i got for writing 2nd person pov fanfic#i didn't think it was possible in published fiction#and tasmyn muir just fucking did it#this isn't even digging into the pure emotional damage and fucking excellence that was gideon the ninth
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alastor and lucifer sharing you pt 2!
(i tagged people who commented asking for part 2 but lmk if you want to be untagged)
pt1, pt3
tags: @lu-ferri12 @my-anime-garden @princessdreamss @polytheatrix
cw: explicit smut, not thoroughly proofread, lucifer has a daddy kink, still in a hinge type relationship, hints to radioapple if you squint
other: i wrote part of this while very high so if there's a random perspective change just know i was cooking so hard with writing that i forgot to write in 2nd person pov
■ let's be honest neither of them are particularly interested in the other halfs involvement in this equation
■ but it's incredibly hard to deny that they work well together with you in the bedroom
■ when they want to, of course.
■ so there's a silent agreement between them that they usually put their beef aside cause like. they have you atleast.
■ i think alastor would still want to be close though, so most often your head is laid in his lap or he's touching you somehow
■ but there is a VERY strict line of sight he follows because depending on what exactly is going on this position makes it far too easy for the two men to just be staring at each other and that is 100% a no go for them
■ which i mean, fair enough
■ lucifer does tend to get a little possessive on the rare occasion alastor decides he wants to participate a little
"oh sweetheart, daddy is making you feel so good, right?" he would coo at you as he bullies his cock into you again.
alastor, tilting your head back with his hand, claws scraping at the soft skin of your neck. a good portion of your upper body is laid out on him, his other hand pinning your arm down.
"eyes on me, darling" he'd say, only for lucifer to give a particularly rough thrust, trying to get your attention back.
the main ground rule you had set is that they were not allowed to bicker with each other during intimate moments, so after a whine escapes your throat the two set it aside. for now.
■ i feel like alastor is strictly a dom, especially considering most of the time he's not really physically participating
■ lucifer id say is more of a service top. he wants you to feel good and he wants to know how good you feel.
■ i think he'd bottom if you really wanted him too but like only if he gets to make you feel good yk
■ alastor does particularly enjoy watching lcuifer go down on you, seeing you writhe in pleasure and moan so sweetly is like music to his ears.
■ he'd love to broadcast this
■ there is sometimes alastor takes a complete backseat though
■ maybe he's not in the mood or just wanting a different angle
■ so that's how you ended up riding lucifer while alastor gleefully watches from a chair beside the bed
"s'ok princess, you can do it" lucifer would say, hands on your hips as he guides you down on his cock. you squirm and whimper as he stretches you open.
with his guidance you start gently grinding your hips down, and lucifer lulls his head back, sweet praises falling out of his mouth.
"fuck.. that's it. ride daddy's cock. you're such a good girl" he'd moan as he rubs your clit. it's not long before he gets impatient though, wanting to hear more moans coming out of his pretty girl, hands returning to your hips as he bucks into you.
"you like it when he watches?" lucifer practically growls, hips thrusting up harder now. "cmon baby, talk to me" he'd gently tut, slowing down to such a painfully slow pace.
you're practically reduced to nothing, giving a weak moan, both of their smiles growing wider. "such a good duckling, letting daddy get his fill. gonna fill you up princess" lucifer says as he pulls you in for a sloppy kiss, another thing lucifer loved to do.
■ alastor has never been a fan of the more personalized petnames lucifer calls you
■ "duckling" "ducky" "doll"
■ but he has some of his own
you're on your knees in alastors radio tower, the very rare occasion lucifer just isnt feeling up to it. he's never been a big fan of receiving head, and he's just not feeling it today, comfortably sat in a chair.
alastor on the other hand, his hands are wound tight into your hair as you suck him off. "oh my sweet doe, so desperate to please" alastor would purr, feeling your tongue swirl around his cock.
"i understand why you... indulge so often. our little pet is such a people pleaser, isn't she?" he'd chime to lucifer, who doesn't respond, not really atleast.
■ but aftercare
■ oh aftercare from these two is amazing
■ the only time they firmly agree with each other and leave everything else behind is during after care.
■ it doesn't matter which of them you want or what you want they're gonna make it happen
■ if you want both of them that's great! and they definitely won't get mildy possessive of you at all!!
■ lucifer is definitely a big cuddler
■ and i feel like alastor would be about praise and affirmations, especially after playing "bad cop" the whole time.
■ not that he minds that, mind you.
"darling you were amazing, im so proud of you" he'd say in a much gentler tone, stroking your hair as you lay on lucifers chest, whos pressing soft kisses across your face.
lucifers hands trace soft circles on your back as they both murmur affections to you, and when you finally slump your forehead to lucifers shoulder, they both breathe out a smile.
if he's feeling particularly charitable, lucifer will nod to alastor to take you, to cuddle with you. most of the time alastor declines respectfully, still not really prone to expose himself to touch.
but on the rare occasion he takes the offer, switching places as he cuddles into you, lucifer cracks a little smile.
they really do make a good team, don't they?
#lucifer smut#alastor#lucifer morningstar x reader#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel#alastor smut#smut#rambles#headcanons#hazbin hotel smut
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