#holyyyy shit what have I done
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Just Us Here – Dani Rojas x F!Reader
Summary: No one ever talks about how being a guerrilla can also be dreadfully boring.
So, one afternoon you and your favorite guerrilla escape to a lookout bunker and decide to play your classic favorite game (you know the one: in how many public places around Yara can you two get away with a good, quick fuck?). To your frustration, and then to your delight, she's brought along a surprise.
Notes: Here's the deal: There is no plot here. The plot is Dani Rojas straps you silly during a not-so-quickie in a semi-private place.
Also, apologies in advance for the veritable air-drop into this depraved scene…it was supposed to be a short headcanon that clearly got out of hand. Oh yeah and like,, general apologies since this is my first longer-form smut lmao.
Finally – special, special thanks to @its-deputy-caleb and @aexelle for reading, kind words, and great feedback. 💕
Content notes: Explicit so minors SCRAM. Also semi-public sex, strap-on use, hair pulling, nipple play. Um, and lack of plot.
Words: 1877
On AO3.
It began innocently enough, as a game you two had created during the long hours standing watch.
Well – no, it hadn't begun innocently at all, but what had started out playfully soon became a foolhardy pastime neither of you had the slightest intention of stopping.
The game is simple.
Which is how you find yourself here, in a recently-cleared FND bunker, straddling Dani Rojas on the only weathered metal folding chair in the place, head thrown back, hands lost in her sweaty hair, riding for dear life.
"Eso, mamita," she murmurs, guiding your rolling hips and driving her cherished emerald green strap into you at a steady yet deliberate pace, hypnotizing rhythm between your legs threatening to send you into orbit embarrassingly quickly. That Dani's smooth, sweet voice brushing against your ear never fails to make you ache with want isn’t helping in the slightest.
The squeak of the stout metal chair cuts through the soft wet sounds of you riding the strap. The slap of your bare, flushed skin rings out inside the bunker, and probably outside of it, too. Your ragged gasps hang in the air, interspersed with Dani's occasional groans as the domino etched on her hand disappears under your thighs and ass to lift and better support you. Just outside and down the hill, a rumbling truck ambles by on the service road, reminding you where the fuck you are.
Though that particular emerald green strap (sinfully girthy; silicone; long enough to torment you in whatever position Dani feels like that day) is your favorite too, she's never had the gall to bring it with her out into the field – fully on and ready, no less – so you'd nearly ripped her a new one when she backed you up to the bunker wall.
"You can't be carrying around distractions all day. You could get hurt, Dani," you'd hissed.
Dani had simply sighed. "Ay, mami, how do I say this?" she began, stopping to run a hand through her hair and cup your warm cheek, thumb unconsciously stroking your cheekbone. "If we're working together, then I don't need to put on a strap to be carrying around a distraction all day." She wiggled her eyebrows knowingly, and you fought back a smile as your stomach did a small flip.
You hadn't pressed the issue, both because you adored the idea that you were distraction enough for the lethal guerrilla, and because the supple head of Dani's strap coming to rest on your exposed thigh promptly short-circuited your brain. She hadn't let you think twice before summarily disposing of your jeans, underwear, and top to boot, leaving them splayed across the dingy floor of the bunker in a heady race to pin you exactly where she wanted you. It was exactly where you wanted, too, considering how unbearably good she looked, inked-up arms straining out of her torn tank, thick strap swinging out of the fly of her pants. So that's why they were so baggy today.
Now, that same strap is stretching you out, Dani filling you up completely in the way you so often crave, gradually teasing the sensual depths of your heat with especial cruelty. You hold Dani's glowing face with both hands, running a thumb along your favorite scar on her eyebrow, as she in turn holds your gaze with luminous eyes and fucks you, her need growing in tandem with yours. Somewhere, in the recesses of your mind, you figure she must have chosen the color to match her gorgeous eyes, before a deliciously deep thrust brings you back.
"Fuck," you whimper, closing your eyes and letting your forehead fall against hers as you continue grinding on top of her.
As is always the case during this game, you want to lose yourself wholly to Dani's whims, but you force yourself to stay grounded enough to glance out of the bunker's small opening for passersby. You don’t see anyone. Just outside the shelter, thin dark palm shadows dance about the lower foliage, itself fluttering in the bright sun. A wary dragonfly pauses, suspended mid-flight, then flits away. You become dimly aware of the stream trickling some feet away, and the dry rustle of old discarded documents flapping in the warm breeze.
Picking up on your preoccupation, Dani shoots you a breathless grin through her own escalating arousal. Supporting your waist now with just one arm, she takes a messy fistful of your hair and carefully pulls your head back until you're arching your neck and looking up at the low concrete ceiling. Oh. The gesture, and the vulnerability of your new position, sends shockwaves down the back of your neck through to your throbbing core. You let out a weak sigh and watch the ceiling approach and recede as you slide on Dani’s strap, relishing her near-absolute control of your body and the roughness of her grasp.
Then the arm around your waist pulls you in closer, angling you so Dani can now directly pound into your sweet spot, all teasing unequivocally out the bunker window. You’ve barely completed one sharp intake of breath before another replaces it – still holding your head back firmly, Dani takes the tender flesh of your right nipple between her teeth, at once suckling gently and increasing the intoxicating pace she’d set earlier. You gasp, hands falling to Dani's shoulders for support, nails raking the defined muscles rippling through her soaked tank, making her hum with delight. You can feel the slick warmth of her tongue trace salacious circles on your skin, can feel every inch of the strap as it plumbs your depths, sliding almost all the way out before driving back in to the hilt.
"Ay, Dani," you whine to the ceiling, successfully driven past the point of caring about anyone or anything outside the bunker. Your hand finds the back of her head, caresses the damp hair as you revel in the sensation of her teeth pulling gently on your sensitive nipples in between rough sucks and wide licks.
“That’s a good girl. It’s just us here, mi amor,” she mumbles around your turgid flesh still caught between her lips, tightening her punishing grip on your hair. At her praise, another jolt of searing heat burns through you, eclipsing the burning in your legs. All you can do is repeat her name to the room as she continues mercilessly rutting into you, marking up your breasts, until the pleasure courses through your limbs like liquid fire. Of their own volition, your thighs tighten around her waist, desperate to relieve the mounting pressure between your legs. Though you can't look down, you can feel yourself dripping onto her lap.
Guiding your head by the hair still in her relentless grip, Dani brings your mouth back down to hers so she can drink in your free-flowing moans as she fucks you fast and hard, knowing from your tightening clutch on her worn shirt that this particular tempo is going to bring you to your bliss.
She knows you well. Your eyes flutter, then close as your mouth opens. You gasp into her breaths fluttering across your lips, grateful to have her close again as the room spirals around you. You feel your walls wrap themselves around the thick strap, and you roll faster, deeper, into Dani’s furiously working hips.
“Así, mamita, I got you,” Dani pants against your parted mouth, softly but herself clearly close to her own peak. She pulls you closer, just in time, because you cry out, legs seizing her waist, now clenching fistfuls of her hair with both hands as the first waves of your orgasm rock you. Your cunt spasms around her, and Dani maintains her pace through the pain in her scalp, grunting in ruthless pursuit of her own release. “Coño. Shit.”
“Oh my god, Dani – así, así,” you sob into her lush lips, before they sweep yours into a blazing kiss. You tremble as your entire world is reduced to the length of the strap deep inside you, plowing you now with short, forceful thrusts, thick head bullying further into you as you pulsate around it. You want the pleasure of such out-and-out, deep-down, toes-curling fucking to never ever end, and at the same time you’re not sure you can possibly hang on another moment. Mercifully, your wave breaks, languid warmth flooding you as you come, moaning in Dani's mouth.
“Mierda,” Dani growls in response to your wanton sounds, hips rolling a fraction more slowly to lock into her own imminent release. She rides her own high as you manage to hold on, one arm now thrown around her shoulders and the other running through her hair again in pure post-fuck adoration.
In your sex-addled state you admire Dani, her own head thrown back now, small braid in her hair swinging as she rides the base of the strap still destroying you through the ebbing of your peak. Another moan escapes you, the rhythm and her conviction rekindling the fire you thought you’d just finished swallowing whole. The urgency of her arousal, electrifying and palpable as she continues to thrust into you, is enough to bring you to a second, sweeter crest with her. She groans, eyes squeezing shut, suddenly yanking your hair back again as she comes with a snarl. You cry out, second orgasm positively heightened by the motion of your head whipping back at her whim.
Chest heaving, brow dripping, Dani tenderly releases your hair to cradle and massage the back of your head as you lean back and drift in her arms. If you had managed to keep your eyes open, you would have caught her green eyes gazing at you with an almost pained reverence. You don’t realize you’re still grinding lazy, infinitesimal circles on her strap, chasing the recent memory of the all-consuming pleasure in your heat, and you barely register the soft slick of the strap sliding out of you, until it releases with a small wet sound. You whine, already missing the sensation.
Again, a stray thought materializes in the back of your mind – in the frightfully small space not consumed with the perpetual carnal urge to ride your guerrilla until the wheels fall off – you positively marvel at Dani’s stamina.
Dani hums, content. “So, beat-up old squeaky bunker, huh? Check?” she smirks, wiping you down carefully, but you're still floating down from the clouds of your bliss.
“How…” you begin when you can finally speak, still breathless, cunt still twitching steadily. Your eyes flutter open, hazy and sated, and meet hers.
“Hmm?” Dani asks, absentmindedly caressing your cheek once more.
“How do you make that seem so easy?” you ask, placing an unsteady hand flat on her chest, toying with the neckline of her tank, unable to stop replaying the memory of her toned hips sustaining their dizzying tempo through her own orgasm.
Dani laughs, the sound renewing the flood of warmth between your bruised thighs. You smile, make a decision then and there.
“Coño, you think I lug around three rifles and a pistol every day just to help free Yara?” Dani winks, giving your sore hips a commanding squeeze.
It's your turn to laugh. “Let’s do some training then, guerrilla,” you say, pulling her in again.
#dani rojas x reader#dani rojas x f!reader#smut#smutty smut#dani rojas#dani rojas fc6#far cry 6#writings#holyyyy shit what have I done#ty for reading/stopping by
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Thinking about ???%/Shigeo as a character today and losing my mind. Like he's so funny to joke about but also he's SUCH an interesting character (especially from a plural angle, ESPECIALLY when you're a system yourself) and he makes me want to explode. Imagine forming to protect a little kid and deciding you love him so so much and you'll always be there for him, and you love his little brother, and you love his best friend, even though the world doesn't love you very much. But you take it anyway because you have those three and your little family so you're happy. And you have powers and they're a part of you and the other kid and it's fine until it very suddenly Isn't, and nobody's explaining why, just that you need to Stop Having Them. And the kid just decides, okay, I'm sorry, I'll be normal. And you get no explanation. You just have to be suppressed that little bit more. You form because he can't handle being suppressed yet he suppresses you. And then one day it all blows up and you make a mistake trying to protect your little brother and suddenly everyone hates you. Everyone thinks every little thing you've ever done is proof you're a monster and you always would've turned out like this, and you have no idea what they're talking about. You made a mistake trying to save your brother. But because you look scary and act different, even though you've always been there suddenly you existing is dangerous. Because you made a mistake, you are now Irredeemable.
That would fuck ANY kid up. But like, think about it. Shigeo had no one except Tsumobi and Mob and Mob's family. And suddenly he has no one. Mob represses him so deeply. He makes one mistake and suddenly he's not allowed to talk to anyone, suddenly he's completely alone and isolated. He has to share a brain with someone who despises him. He has the trauma of the accident AND the trauma of suddenly losing everyone he loves on top of it. He literally had no one for years. No wonder he's so fucking cynical. All of the shit about "I don't trust anyone" in the manga? Yeah, of course he doesn't. The rug was pulled out from under him so fast. In his eyes everyone just hated him for no reason, because he existed, and everyone would hurt him for existing, so he could only trust himself. Yeah, no wonder he's so selfish, he has no one else there at ALL. It's just...holyyyy hell.
And the thing is if you actually look the little things point to him yearning for connection so desperately. He's still so aggressively protective of his family (even though he lost them a long time ago, they're Mob's now, they don't even know he's there. Don't get me started on that from a plural view. I won't shut up and will probably pour my heart out.), and just ...world domination arc. When he's so upset about losing his family. We know he doesn't trust Reigen. Yet he's running to Reigen for some sort of comfort because he's scared and doesn't want his family to die and wants someone to tell him everything's fine. And Reigen DOES and he believes him. He believes him and immediately passes out. The guy who doesn't trust anyone wants to be loved so so bad and wants to believe Reigen more than anything. He really clearly WANTS to be able to trust Reigen. But he can't. More on this later.
And also thinking about why the build up in confession arc broke him like that is just fucking sad, man. Everyone was telling them to change. Shigeo's been told to change and it meant "be normal". Mob isn't even the one who actually likes Tsumobi like that. Shigeo's being completely repressed and Mob wants to live without him completely. Everyone wants to live without him now that they've used his powers to get this nice perfect life (in his eyes, at least.) Everyone's just trying to forget he ever existed so they can be happy without him, when Shigeo never GOT to heal. He never got to move on. He never got to process any of the god awful shit that happened to him. Everyone's telling him, change. Be normal. Be normal so Tsumobi will like you. And Shigeo's so fucking stressed out of his mind because lying about who he is didn't even help Mob make friends, it didn't make him popular, it didn't make anyone like him, it just made them both miserable. He doesn't want to be stuck like this. Of course he's freaking out. We see in his encounter with the body improvement club that being told to go back to normal sets him off HARD. It's clearly a sensitive subject. "Normal" means "Don't exist" to Shigeo. Do you see why this fucked me up as a system yet. Oh my god.
And his breakdown is just...painfully understandable. Like, actually think about it for a second. Shigeo has never been shown forgiveness or compassion or any amount of understanding for his mistakes. He never was taught to mature or see any nuance. He fucked up, so he doesn't deserve any second chance. Nobody ever taught him compassion. He has such a completely black and white view of the world. If someone did something bad once, they are forever The Bad Thing. If someone was kind to him once, they are forever Good and Perfect. Teru was a threat once, so he is now Always A Threat. Reigen was a liar before so he is Always A Liar. Ritsu was sweet and kind as a kid so he is always His Innocent Little Brother. And Tsumobi accepted him as a kid, so now she's the only person who could ever possibly accept him. Teru sees Shigeo at his most terrifying, when he's actively hunting him down, and in the manga looks at him with fucking hearts in his eyes. Ritsu might not be all perfect, but he's trying so hard and understanding no, Shigeo isn't just a scary part of Mob. Shigeo isn't Evil. But because neither of their acceptance is perfect, and because they aren't from Tsumobi, he can't see it's even there. And also, another thing, his response to people acting outside of his perception of him is to get them away. It scares him. Teru isn't acting how he expected? Attack maim. Ritsu isn't afraid of him anymore? Teleport him away so he doesn't have to confront the change. Reigen acts different? Throw shit at him until he hates him.
It's just so...fuck man. Of course he's like that. He's immature and selfish because nobody taught him not to be. Nobody helped this kid when he needed it and this is the result. He thinks he's an irredeemable monster so he acts like one when he's told to just be himself. He doesn't see change as being realistic. He's been treated the same no matter what he does so he assumes this is how the world naturally is. He's just a bitter mentally ill kid who nobody gave any reason to believe that maybe the world is nice sometimes.
Another thing: I think he really really wants Reigen to care about him. Him going "I can't listen to him" is so intense with the context of the fact he immediately passes out to rest and let Mob take care of it once Reigen says his parents are safe. Reigen can convince him like nobody else can. He cares about him and wants to believe him and that's terrifying! He hates him and resents him and wants him to be proud of him and wants nothing to do with him and it's confusing and he just wants something that is (supposedly) guaranteed. He wants Reigen to care so badly and it feels impossible. Why would he ever care? He just wants to use him. The only way to bring Shigeo back from his breakdown was to show him that people can be kind without wanting something back in return. Reigen saying "you don't need me anymore" was the only real way to help him, to show him that he's not doing this for himself, but because he cares about his student(s). Because he cares about BOTH of them. He cares about every version he's seen and interacted with, not because of his powers but because they were them. He had to let go of them to truly help them here, so Shigeo wouldn't have any lingering fear. What helps Shigeo is the display of kindness with nothing to be gained and Mob finally realizing that Shigeo's just...flawed. They both realize that sometimes people are just flawed and fucked up and make bad decisions and just straight up hurt people. And they'll still love you. They'll still be worth saving. But you can't deny their flaws, for Mob, and you don't need to seek the perfect relationship to have someone there, for Shigeo. It just. Agh! God! I am always losing my mind over this story. Fuck. This SHOW .
#mp100 spoilers#mp100#unknown percentage mp100#shigeo kageyama#kageyama shigeo#also like. the thing of “hey man you dont need a romantic relationship to be happy” is everything to me“ too#“its fine to not have a romantic relationship. its not the end all be all” is gery appreciated#the whole system loves shigeo. this show genuinely helped us so mucj and.helped me understand myself#and thinking about the finale makes me cry#like i was tearing up so many times writing this post. help.#plural mob
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Can you list down the orpheus and euridyce moments? :o and whether it's doksoo/ joongdok/ yoohankim related
OK so to preface I'm sure people out there have done much more coherent analysis than me who just finished the novel last week but I'm gonna throw together some of my thoughts anyways:
The whole final third of the novel is the Orpheus/Eurydice Moment to me. Either the build up, the event, or the aftermath. And they're ALL yoohankim related like it's the three of them or it's nothing. Everything from reincarnation island onwards feels like it's foreshadowing the ending, in big obvious ways but also in small subtler ways. Also given the amount of greek mythology present in the story I'm sure it's deliberate lol.
The story of Orpheus/Eurydice at it's simplest is a man who loves a woman so much he'll go to the Underworld and try to get her back. And he almost does, he just has to walk back to the surface without looking back to make sure she's following. But of course he looks back. Because he loves her. He needs to see her, he loves her too much to risk never seeing her again. Even if it dooms them. He already lost her once, and his grief won't allow him to move forward so easily.
When yoohan get off the train with Dokja, they look back. When I read it I was like holyyyy shit they're both Orpheus and seeing the official art confirmed it for me.
(Couldn't find the image without the text but anyways)
Dokja is their Eurydice. If they didn't look back, if they accepted 49% Dokja and kept moving forward... Well who knows for sure what would have happened but we do know that we wouldn't have gotten 49 Dokja swept up into 51 and then torn down until just a tiny version of himself remains, alive but comatose. We wouldn't have gotten the Dokkaebi King telling Han Sooyoung "You should have been content with 49% Kim Dokja."
But of course they would have never been content. The same way Orpheus could have never made it to the surface without looking back. They had to. Just like they have to keep trying, no matter what.
The thematic parallel to Orpheus for me is how they cannot let go of their grief. They love Dokja too much to settle for anything less than him being there with them in full. Orpheus was terrified on his way back up, convinced the Gods could be tricking him because he couldn't hear Eurydice's footsteps. What if she was just a shade? A shadow of the woman he originally loved?
He could never settle for that. They could never settle for that either. Only unlike Orpheus, who's solution was to die and see Eurydice again, these two go a little bit more bonkers with their grief filled reunion attempts. World line crossing, time travel, reality crossing, screaming and fighting your other Orpheus half because they're not playing along and pretending to heal from their grief, brainwashing authors from alternate universes into writing Dokja's story so they can bring him back...
I'm kind of curious what Orpheus in Orv's reaction would be to seeing those two repeat his story. Like is he happy or is he like wow those two do NOT know how to quit they're kind of embarrassing me right now.
But yeah if I'm yelling incoherently about yhk being Orpheus and Eurydice, this is the basics of what I'm talking about. Thanks for the ask!
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💫🌷Im into you Pt 2•°
Synopsis: Sucheon Kang is your admirer, the way he shows you affection however is in such an odd way... A grumpy(?) Kind of way. At first you thought he was just trying to be more nicer to people not until you noticed that he's only acting this way to you.
You as: Anon [Anonymous]—Anon who doesn't treat Sucheon as any different, Anon who treats him like a human being and just that.
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You and Subin sat down on a wooden platform under a huge tree, sheltering in its shade from the blazing sun, the breeze brought by the lake facing the courtyard outside the campus cooling your bodies down. It's campus clean up day and all of the students are assigned to clean their classrooms and certain places within the school grounds, staff and teachers are included in this activity.
"They should've scheduled the courtyard clean up early in the morning or in the afternoon where the sun isn't cooking us assigned to this task alive." Subin muttered, wiping off her sweat with your towel. You checked todays weather temperature on your phone, 33° Celsius.
"...We're already done with this part at least." You sighed, knowing that the two of you might've passed out from the heat if it took the two of you any longer. "Just the hallway left."
"You got water with you?" Subin asked, "Forgot to take it down with us, its in the classroom." "Fuck.." Subin reached for her pocket "Fuck, I left my card in my bag..." The two of you sat in silence for a moment. "Jisuk?" "Jisuk." Subin stood up and looked for him.
No thoughts, head empty, and staring at the grass. Thats how you looked like as you sat in silence. A cold and moist material jolted you awake when it pressed against your skin. You looked towards the direction of where it came from and faced Sucheon, holding two ice cups of 2 different drinks of some sort.
"Did I scare you?" "Just got surprised thats all." "Ahh okay... Got you something by the way." He handed you the ice cup he pressed against your skin earlier as he sat down beside you. You took the cup with a small smile on your face, "What drink is this?" You asked, looking at the light green liquid. "Green grape ade, thought you might like it.", you smiled again "Thanks."—The two of you sat there in silence, just drinking refreshments.
"We found a big dead ass rat right under the pot, I nearly vomi- HOLY SHIT GO BACK-" "OW WHAT THE FUCK SU-" "SHHH"
Subin pushed Jisuk behind a wall and hid behind it too, peeking at you and Sucheon sitting beside each other.
"You see this shit?" "No, your head full of air is too bi- HOLYYYY-" "SHHH".
(This is the best one I can find Im sorry TT)
"Oh the storage rooms?" You said, finishing your drink. "Yeah—got assigned with Jisuk and he's making things more difficult, no offense." You chuckled. "Is cleaning the courtyard easier?" "Pretty much, the heat is what makes it difficult." "Ahh..." Sucheon noticed a spray bottle in the cleaning bucket given to you and Subin, he grabbed it and sprayed a bit on you. "What was that for?!" "To cool you down, you said its hot." He said, trying not to smile. You blinked at him. He sprayed again. "Sucheon." He sprayed again, grinning. "Sucheon." He kept spraying then started chasing you around with the spray bottle.
"Stop it!" You squealed, running away from him. "What? I'm just helping you cool down!" He laughed as he ran after you and spraying whenever he gets close.
You saw a hose on the ground and picked it up, Sucheon stopped in his tracks. "[Name]... Please don't-" "What? You don't want me to help you cool down in such a hot weather?" You opened the faucet and chased Sucheon with the hose spraying water. "[NAME]!" He exclaimed, picking up an empty bucket to shield himself then started running away from you as you chased him around laughing.
Subin snapped a picture of the two—Her and Jisuk giggling and feeling on top of the world. "We're gonna have loads of fun with this shit!" "I'll miss teasing Iseul though." They laughed.
[KDRAMA: Our Beloved Summer]
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Sucheon was walking down the hall, carrying a bucket of dirty water. Subin and Jisuk were walking in the opposite direction as him in same hall, upon seeing Sucheon—the two started snickering.
Jisuk started jogging in a real slow pace while Subin acted as if she was running after him. "Im gonna spray alcohol on you Jisuk!" "Ahh! Subin please no!" Then they started laughing. Sucheon frowned, he knew what they're trying to imply or do, or both. "Oh look Subin a hose! Better start running!" "Jisuk no! Ahh!" The two were laughing and all not until they screamed and ran off, partially laughing when Sucheon turned to them and was about to pour the dirty water onto them.
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"I don't think he understood..."
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You were expecting a notification from Sucheon to arrive sooner or later that says "Outside." When he leaves the stuff he got for you outside your door, a knock isn't what you expected. Nevertheless, you got up and opened the door. He was there. "That's new." "Were you shala?" "...That's not how you use the slang-" "Oh...".
From that day, he would knock on your door instead of sending a message to tell you that he left what he got you in front of your door. He doesn't stay, just hands it to you then smiles—a very tiny one. Then leaves, but the two of you would talk on the phone shortly after.
This day however it was different...
He's sat down with you on the floor of your living room, eating the tteokboki he brought with him for the two of you. "Do you think it needs a bit of spice?" He asked, looking at the tteokboki like something is missing. "I think its good." "Thats good to hear." He smiled—a really soft one, your lips wanting to curve into a smile too seeing it. "Why, did you make it?" You asked—your lips finally curving into a smile, finding the thought of it cute and sweet. Sucheon remained silent for a moment, his ears burning a light shade of red. "So you did make it." "Shut up and eat." "Thats cute." He looked away, his ears getting redder.
A question suddenly dawned into you as you looked at him. "Should I ask or should I not?" You pondered. "Nah Im just jumping to conclusions and assumptions... But what if..."
—To be continued....
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Y’all I am reading the best fic. It’s a merarthur fic abt when Arthur comes back to life in present day and he and Merlin dealing with it basically and holyyyy shit it’s so good.
The world building, amazing. Merlin has created his own little world by the lake he sent Arthur into to stay close by and watch over him. There’s a older lady who wants the best for him and a bakery and a apothecary and ah it’s just great. I love it so much it’s one of those fics where the descriptions don’t bore you but make you feel like your watching a TV show with how vividly you can picture the setting
The blend of comedy and serious moments, immaculate. Their usual dynamic is still there but the trauma of waking up 15 thousand years in the future and living that long alone waiting for the other’s return is so so good. There’s so many moments where it’s obvious they’re trying to have their old dynamic but everything is so changed and it’s clear when they hit a landmine of grief for what they both lost and had to endure.
I cannot recommend it enough. It’s the ‘And like the cycle of the year, we begin again’ series by katherynefromphilly on Ao3.
Any Merlin fans have got to read it. I’m only 23/39 chapters into the first work but it’s so good I’m hooked. I didn’t do anything all day but just read it. I got zero work done and I’m happy.
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I AM. ASTOUNDED. WQHAT THE UCKEDH
HOW DO YOU. HOW DO
HOW??? WITH? CRAYON???? HOW COLOR THEORY?? HOW DO ES ONE?????? I FEEL LIKE A 8 YR OLD DRAWING STICKMEN INTO THE PAVEMENT WITH CHALK AFTER I SAW THE CRAYON ART HOLYYYY SHIT
AND YOUR DIGITAL ART. I USE LIKE? UNDER 20 LAYERS? I CANNOT FATHOM USING 3 HOHHHMY GOD I AM SHAKING HAVING A STROKE CONVULSING HOW DID I MEET SOMEONE ON HERE WITH THIS MUCH ART TALENT/vv pos
oh !!! crayons are used VERY similarly to colored pencils , they just got a different feel to 'em !! press hard and use circular motions to blend smoothly , in a general sense . when it came to the rendering , i went along the color wheel to shade . red has a shadow of purple and an even deeper shadow of blue for the darkest areas , blended along in a gradient
the way i use layers is quite simple actually !!! i have one layer for lines , one for base colors , and one for shadows (set to multiply)- and sometimes one for highlights (set to add) . if i used any more then i'd get confused and do something on the wrong layer
thank you so much for the kind words :] i don't see the amount of layers as a limitation , just the way i've always done it dfhgkjdhfkgjhsdg (i actually think using more than like 5-6 is a challenge . what ,, what do you use them for KJFDGH)
#a medium typically used by children isn't difficult usually#it's just that . well we've only really seen them used by Children#there's a lot of really nice mediums that we just don't think of using differently !!! i really enjoyed the crayons#i also have a PLETHERA of sharpies . in pretty much any color you can think of . i might do sharpie art#aimless-aimz#asked box
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People That I Want To Get To Know Better
Tagged by: @cuddlesdotgif thank you so much for the tag!!! 💚💖💙
Last Song: Hear you me by jimmy eat world. I was listening to my 90s playlist but this song hits me right in the emotionals. (the last bit should be said like the russian vulture from horton hears a who. very specific i know, but it adds nuance i promise 🤣😅)
Last Show: the last show i binged was 1899 on Netflix and holyyyy fuuuuccckkkk!!! It was so fucking good. The mix of genres and mystery and what the fuck is happening right was so up my alley it wasnt even funny. Plus the cast is beautiful and sad and thats like... a big thing for me. Love that angst. 🤣
Currently Watching: literally right now i am watching Tacoma FD. its a show by part of the broken lizard comedy group. They made Super Troopers. But i have a weakness for dumb comedy shit and this show is golden.
Currently Reading: i haven't read an actual book in like.. 84 years. BUT i just got a new stephen king book for Christmas and I'm hoping once im done working nights I'll have enough energy to actually sit and read it!!!
Current Obsessions: the biggest one i can think of is probably pokemon. Ive been going back and playing the older games. I REALLY wanted to play Sapphire but i can't find my original DS currently so i had to play alpha sapphire and it was okay but i got bored so i played some Silver and now im playing X and i don't think ive played it all the way through cuz I don't remember the things that are happening. But yeah, the little pokes have bewitched me!!
Tagging: @steveshairychest @legitcookie @kkpwnall (no pressure tagging just if y'all wanna!!!)
#thanks again for the tag!!!#i feel so accomplished cuz i never do theseeee!!!!#cuddlesdotgif#tagged in#tag game#mine
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There were four pregnancy tests hidden in my bathroom for two days. My husband had picked them up on a very weird midnight trip to Walgreens for cereal and didn't tell me. He didn't want to upset me, we hadn't been talking about babies. Not after what happened. He tells me today, after it's done, that he'd never tell a lady her business but it seemed a vital purchase. Seemed like the right time.
But it came to be that I skipped right over my period last month, and was "late" this month too and while it's not unheard of for a person to skip and not be pregnant...look, I'm not an idiot, I was just scared. Avoidant. It hurt so bad last time and I didn't even know until it was ending.
He's sitting in the dry bathtub fully clothed, curtain drawn, giving me as much privacy as he can when I insist he be in the room for this. I try to pee on the first stick, and my hands are shaking so hard I drop it before I can even get a stream going.
"Fuck."
"Are you okay?"
"Dropped it, Jesus H."
He hums. "Are you breathing?"
I start to. I count them. Go for a second test...and drop it in too.
"Whaaaat theeee fuuuuuuck?" I could cry now. My heart is beating so fast. I can't do this. Maybe I don't need to know. "I can't. I can't do it."
I am crying now, on the toilet, leggings pooled at my feet. It would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic. He throws the curtain open and looks so concerned, it makes me cry more. I love him more than I could ever say and I don't want to disappoint him. I don't want my body to betray him again, betray us.
He climbs out of the tub and onto his knees, reaching for a test and waving it around, talking with his hands like he does. "Okay, hear me out...this may be unorthodox but what if I hold it?"
"What if I pee on you?!"
"Is that a threat?" He raises his eyebrow and his smile goes crooked. "Baby, let me help you, please."
He closes his eyes for my benefit, and his hands don't shake...not the one holding the test, and not the one holding mine. If there was ever a more solid dude on earth, I don't need to know about him. I really hope I don't pee on his hand.
I tap his shoulder lightly.
"Done."
"Okay."
"Did I get you?"
"Somehow no. Good aim, Tex." He caps the test and lays it on the counter, and sits with his back against the tub, eyes closed again. "Come here when you're done. Don't you dare watch that test without me."
I'm in a dream swimming and I don't know how I remember to wipe and pull my pants up but I do. I take a seat between his legs and lean against him and let him wrap his arms around me...completely, gently, he's already trying to not squeeze my stomach. He has so much faith in this and when I look up into his face I see he's already decided he is going to protect this as long as he can. As long as it's there.
The timer on his phone makes us both jump, which also makes us laugh. I'm not ready so I bury my face in his chest and breathe him in. "I can't look."
He brushes my hair off my face, and cradles me like the baby we're waiting for. "Honey, whatever happens..." He can't even finish it. To suggest any other outcome would be a curse.
It has seemed, since I decided to get the hysterectomy that a clock has been ticking and that I've been watching the sun set on the possibility of having a child with my husband. Having asked my doctor if a pregnancy would be dangerous and having him say no...we didn't prevent it. We've gone on with business as usual, but the ticking has been so loud. Ever present. A little maddening. I don't know if I can take any more of it.
"Sweetheart, come with me. We'll look together. We'll be fine, I promise."
We get up, count to three. There are no blue lines to decipher, just the word "pregnant". Bless him for choosing digital readout tests, I couldn't do the mental math of pluses and minuses.
"Holyyyy shit." He's stunned, but smiling. It doesn't seem like he's going to say anything else. I can't even say that much, all I can do is cry. "Hey, you're okay. It's okay. I got you."
We stand like that for a long time. I'm folded into him while he rubs my back, and he doesn't shush me...doesn't try to stop my tears. It feels like such a long time we've waited for this and I have so many of them stored up. When I can speak, I tell him I love him, that he's going to be such a great papa...and then, he cries too.
"I'll need to get an appointment with my doctor..." He picks me up, and we're off like a shot down the hall. "Now?"
"Yes, they're open, why not?"
So I wait, fussing with a cotton ball and piece of tape stuck over where they drew my blood, for my doctor to tell me my hCG levels are not what they should be. Too low for when your last period was, just barely there, I'm so sorry. But he doesn't. He just lets Eli book an ultrasound for me because I can't speak again. Tells him, "we'll keep a close eye on it, do another blood draw in three days, but it looks good so far. Congratulations, guys...don't forget to cancel that surgery."
This makes Eli giggle. He's never been happy in here, ever...but today he's bursting with joy. "Probably a good idea."
When we get home we sit in the car and call Moses, who comes very quickly and races from his car to Eli's and immediately pulls my door open.
"What happened, you sounded so strange, why are you crying? Are you okay? Teddy, what happened...what the hell are you smiling for, weirdo?"
When we tell him, he immediately lays a hand on my belly, frantic. "Bunny...what?! A baby?! Fuuuuck, I love you so much. My god this kid's going to be so beautiful. I just can't...GET OUT OF THE CAR PLEASE SO I CAN HOLD YOU."
Over a dinner of just whatever is currently in the fridge we discuss if this is weird or not. Moses, at some point, timidly asks if we would like for him to be involved or if our time together has to draw to a close...and ends up crying when we tell him he's not allowed to go anywhere now.
"Was I ever?" He asks, while wiping his eyes on the sleeve of another very loud tunic.
Eli smiles at him, softly, fondly. "No fucking way. I'm keeping you both forever."
#hot librarian chronicles#husband material#pregnancy#time to have babies now#marriage#poly nonsense#family#we're having a baby yo
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i- mam SIX TIME?!
holyyyy
it was truly an experience.
we went to dinner before and got back and went back to my room and we just hung out for a bit and watched sex/life (can you tell how it all started? 🙂) and went to pound town (i lowkey love that saying lmao) ANYWAY— then when all was said and done, there was a party and i was like “oh, i need to shower, i’ll see you at the party” and he was like “i need to shower too, can i stay?” SOOOOOO, we all know how that ended up. side note: he tried to tease me about my shampoo and conditioner bc i gave him shit for using 2-in-1 and then i told him to use it and he was all “oh…yah this is good, nvm”
so after the shower sex (which was v hard, not a big fan of the shower sex) he got dressed and went to his room, i stayed in mine. time passes, we meet up for drinks (i may have teased him with snaps) his roommate is gone and so i chill on the bed cause he’s watching college football and getting ready and literally before we even leave for the party he just stops getting dressed and when i asked why he was like “i want to see what you sent over snap” which is how the third time happened.
we have friends looking for us, so we get dressed and head out to the party— mingle with friends, have drinks, hanging out it’s a good time and i go to the refill area where everyone put their alcohol to grab another drink and he follows a few moments later and is literally all “odds they notice we’re missing for a few minutes?” AS IF OUR FRIENDS ARENT ALL OUT THERE AND WOULDNT NOTICE so i was like “mmm, too soon wait for them to get drunker.” THIS MF PRESSES UP AGAINST ME (👀) AND WHISPERS LIKE “i think they’ll notice something if we do wait” 💀
sooo we’re like “okay we’re going to get more drinks, be right back” and my friends give me a look but we go back to his room (literally barely make it back) and when i say it’s the fastest thing to ever happen i mean it. like— we’re talking similar to sex in a bar bathroom, quick, dirty, clothes down but not off kind of sex.
ANYWAY— we go back to the party with drinks, hang out more and kind of distance ourselves so people don’t try to connect things. Night comes to an end, he walks me back to my room and he stays over. Watch another episode of sex/life (multiple lol) and boom— round five, then we fall asleep and woke up this morning to a v nice surprise beneath the sheets 👀 and #6.
i was v much dickmatized last night and still am. 🙂😂
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fear soup post! in which i stubbornly continue my theory that the fears are no longer distinct, by breaking down each statement into the many layers of fear (using smirke’s list of 14 to prove that there are no longer 14, essentially. oh also extinction so 15.)
detailed description of and quotes from 164 under the cut, same warnings as the episode
so! most obvious is corruption. it’s sickness, of course, but it’s also a twisted kind of togetherness, of love; ‘they reassure each other how wonderful it is in their village’, ‘a thousand contagions, digging into you, begging for you to join the village’, ‘together as one body’, ‘a cloud of violet spores’, ‘embracing them in a rot’, the distrust of those who show no signs of disease... there’s too much to list but u get it
BIG beholding vibes with the watching and the fear of secrets revealed and holyyyy shit the watching, like there was a TON of that (‘the gnawing panic of their own secrets’, ‘what if they’re found out’ ‘the maypole watches over all’, ‘so desperate to hide their state’, ‘deep down every villager knows the mold has marked them deeper than any of the others’, ‘she has no terror deeper than the thought that she might be discovered’
maybe dark in the night still falling? altho it still rings beholding, desperate attempts to hide their denials
desolation in the maypole, in the burning of people (’as the fire purifies them’)
and then stranger in the xenophobia: ‘it is those from beyond the village who have done this to them’, ‘who can say for certain whether the face behind a mask is a good honest village face or a sickness-bearing harbinger from beyond’
i think possibly some hunt tied into the village council seeking out their newest sacrifice as prey, and people trying not to draw their attention... but maybe more slaughter, in the senseless violence against others just to settle their own paranoia. idk violence is always difficult there’s almost always some violence.
extinction also in the fear of change, of people coming here to upset their old, traditional way of life
a little bit of lonely in how alone they all are in their sickness and their secrets (‘and they never, ever touch’, the villagers all in their own homes alone with their secrets, ‘scared of her neighbors, scared of her friends’), but ALSO plenty of lonely as the flip side to the xenophobia--rather than fear of outsiders, it is fear of being the outsider, of not having a real place in the village (‘how deep do their roots go?’ ‘what if they are an outsider?’
(and there’s beholding and maybe slaughter and maybe hunt in that too, but actually i’m planning another post just to talk abt xenophobia and the 14 fears)
and beneath it all, as per usual, the end. death is coming, it is inevitable, you cannot fight it; at most you can feed it someone else to save yourself. for now.
#tma spoilers#the magnus archives#warning for discussion of disease xenophobia violence death murder uhhhh lots of things#fear soup fear SOUP#also i've talked abt the panopticon as being beholding AND vast and web#elias being unseen to jon and wrapped up INSIDE the eye feels a little lonely and a little either buried or web perhaps#let elias be covered in all the fears at once and suffering pls#fear soup
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I was reading last week’s issue of The Economist and I have several things to say. First: we’re fucked if Amy Coney Barret stays on the bench and yet there’s nothing we can do. I could literally feel myself grinding my teeth as I was reading because I cannot, cannot understand how the fuck someone would willingly vote to restrict another human being’s rights. As far as I know, she hasn’t done anything of the sort, but the Republican party (or at least, the part that keeps voting against abortion rights and LGBTQIA+ rights) has, and it’s so fucking unfair and I will never understand it. Someone please explain to me how that would ever be justified. I am genuinely curious; someone who has these views please explain to my why you think it’s right. I’m serious, I will sit down and have a civil conversation with you as long as you’re civil right back and I will ask you, how can you think this? I don’t understand it. I want to know how you could ever think that someone is undeserving of love because of who they love or how they love. Tell me how logic can lead you there.
Second: ARMY is powerful as fuck. It sounds like a joke but BTS fans are honestly the most powerful group I’ve ever seen. I used to be one, but even then I wasn’t hardcore and I wasn’t on social media or anything so I wasn’t aware of other fans besides the ones I knew IRL. But holyyyy fucking shit, they are numerous and powerful and you should be very, very wary of them. If they’re rallied to a cause they WILL rise to its defense and you should be very scared if you’re facing them.
Thirdly: Republicans who publicly stood against Trump at the cost of their careers deserve applause and cheers because they are amazing and awesome and cool. They put their livelihoods on the line for their conscience and did what was right, no matter the cost. Seriously. They deserve appreciation.
#the economist#political shitposting#i think#what is shitposting?#i actually have no idea#somebody tell me
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If you don't mind me asking, what's your favorite mckirk fan fiction?
absolutely i do not mind you asking I KEEP MEANING TO DO A REC LIST but im a lazy bum and i tend to like to reread fics before adding them to a rec list bc there’s that whole vacuum period where i read and soak up every single fic i can and im so in love with the ship that i basically ignore bad things that would otherwise ruin a fic for me… and i dont want to do a disservice to anyone who might be using my rec list as a way to get into the fandom (definitely don’t want to scare them off you know)
anyway one thing i can tell you for sure is that my absolute #1 favorite mckirk is 1000%
the violence of comets by viverella
Jim has never once, in his life, believed in love. He wears his bare skin with only his own tattoo circling his ankle as a badge of honor.
He meets a man named Leonard McCoy on a shuttle in Riverside, Iowa who believes exactly the opposite.
i was stunned be how visceral my reaction to this fic was. just.. incredibly stunned. i love aus but when i think of my favorite fics in any fandom, they’re usually the straightforward canon-compliant fics, you know?
i mean, don’t get me wrong, this fic is canon-compliant but it’s got a minor twist that is just so beautifully done. i think the tag about soulmates on it is a tiny bit misleading (though i understand it’s usage) because it’s not really soulmates. it’s an incredibly unique play on the trope where, instead, you end up getting a tattoo every time you fall in love… which is not to say you only fall in love with one person or that people only ever have ONE soulmate, you know?
firstly i think that’s one of the coolest things about the fic.
secondly, holyyyy shit it is so well written?? and the story is just.
i can distinctly remember the way my chest felt reading parts of it. and it’s so hard to explain because on it’s face, nothing terrible really happens to anyone (which is another thing i love about it) but the problem the characters face is so real and so beautifully done that i spent probably the entire third chapter with my heart in my throat and my stomach at my feet because of how invested i was in jim and bones and how much i had become attached to the way viverella wrote them
this fic is gorgeous, it is absolutely gorgeous, and i cannot recommend it highly enough. so please please please go read it (and ofc i would love to talk about it with anyone who feels the need to scream about it!!)
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ishqbaaz 01.06.17 lb
plain text version here.
oh baby girl. don't cryyyyyyyyy. it breaks my hearttttttttttt. 😭😭😭
lol, why is gauri callinggg? they live in the same house? like, she's literally in the next room? 😂😂😂
maybe the inter-realm transport portals have closed for the day. 😌😌😌
lmao, “pehli baaar”, really? what about that time he threw you in the pool? or when he threw a phone at you? or the time he threatened sexual assault to force you into marrying him? just curious, what emotion were you seeing in his eyes THEN? 🤔🤔🤔
you know what, now that gauri is here, i don't feel so scared anymore. i really feel like she's taken on the mantle of omRu from the pre-wedding days - to make sure shivika waters run smooth. 😊😊😊
also just her gentle, bulbul-like presence is so calming to my heart. god bless her. 😇😇😇
YAAAAAAAAS, GAURI'S REAL EYES HAVE REALIZED THE REAL LIES!!!!!!!!!!!! 👀👀👀🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
holyyyy shit, shakti doing actual parenting.
that too of a kid that isn't his. 😐😐😐
OR IS SHE???????? 😧😧😧
oh shutttttt the fuck up prinkuuuuuuu. 😑😑😑
i'm so impressed at how shivaay's managing his rage today. he's even come to see prinku??? like... who is this boy???? 😯😯😯
BITCH YOU DIDN'T JUST USE THEIR WEDDING AS AN EXCUSE. LIKE THAT WAS THE WRONGEST THING HE'S EVER DONE, AND YOU GO AND USE *THAT* AS INSPIRATION, INSTEAD OF ALL THE OTHER SELFLESS SHIT HE DOES ON A DAILY BASIS????? 😡😡😡
omfggggggg i swear to god idk HOW shivaay is managing his anger coz i would have literally used my laser eyes to reduce this fucking twit to a pile of ashes. 👿👿👿
oh shit, is he gonna melt? 😣😣😣
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS JHAAAAANVI!!!! THE ONLY ONE WITH SOME SENSE IN THIS DAMN HOUSE!!!!!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
ok prinku you need to fucking DIE. someone this fucking idiotic needs to die out, for the sake of the species. we can’t have you breeding and adding such stupidity to the gene pool. 😠😠😠
YES, SLAP SOME SENSE INTO HER, JHANVI!!!!!! PLEASE. 👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽
pfffffft, not sure i like this new pacifist shivaay. 😒😒😒
fuck, i love jhanvi so much. why couldn't shivaay just be herrrrr son????? ughhhh. 😫😫😫
no use, jhanvi. shivaay has already melted seeing prinku like this. *sigh* 😔😔😔
DUDE. I FUCKINGGGG LOVEEEEEEE GAUUUUURIIIIIIII. SUCH A SAYAANI CHIRRAIYAAAA THIS ONE. 😍😍😍
god please, let her get to the footage without being fucked over! 😩😩😩
oh lord, what is rudra up to? why is he PANTING? 😬😬😬
lmao, of course his password is "RUDYROX". 😂😂😂
may i one day be blessed with the amount of self love rudra has. 😌😌😌
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS! MILLLLLLL GAYA PROOOOOOOOOF. 🙃🙃🙃
but watch this stupid girl go and parosofy this on a thaali and present it to pinky right now. ouff. 😤😤😤
pinky's fuckinggggggg lostttt it, my dudes. 😬😬😬
also, if i was anika, i'd be recording all this. 😐😐😐
ok pinky is veering into scaaaary territory now. 😯😯😯
#same
she hasssss her phone in herrrrr hands! TELL ME SHE'S RECORDINGGGGGGG!!!! 😩😩😩
omfgggggg, pinkyyyyyyy. honestlyyyyyyyy. you're the fuckinggggg worrrrrrrrst. 😟😟😟
this overconfidence is going to padofy bhaari on you, pinky. 😕😕😕
oooooooh, anika is digging her heels in. ab aayega mazaaaaa! 😏😏😏
IDIOT GIRLLLLLLLLLLLL, WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!?!?!?!? WHY WOULD YOU SHOWWWW HERRRRRR THAT YOU HAVE THE PROOF???? HONESTLY ANIKA, YOU'RE SOOOOO DAMN STUPID!!!!!!!!!!! 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩
i want to dieeeeeeeee from how damn stupid anika is being right nowwwwww. 😫😫😫😫
gul + harneet @ me:
great, from one idiotic girl to another. this whole episode is out to test meeeeeee. 😖😖😖
just show me my bulbul. she's the only one who's not out to kill me by making me spontaneously combust from rage. 😤😤😤
fuck off ranveer. i rank your existence below foot fungus and mosquitoes; that’s how much of a pest and a drain on the earth’s resources you are. 😑😑😑
god this idiot never learns, does she? i want jhanvi to catch her ass rn, and give her ek jhaaaaaap ki yeh deewar pe sat jaibe. 👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽
i've never felt such terror watching this show post-daksh, as i'm feeling today watching pinky be THIS deranged. 😖😖😖
OMFGGGGGGGGGGGG. WHAT SACHHHHHH?!?!!?? 😧😧😧
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG.
PINKY IS NOT THE MOTHERRRRRRRRRR. DOES THAT MEAN KAMEENI IS!?!!?!? WHO'S THE MOTHER?!!?!?! 😱😱😱
OHHHHHHH MYYYYYYY MATAAAAAAAAA. 😲😲😲
EXPLAIN ME THIS PINKY - DO YOU LOVE SHIVAAY OR NOT???? like, if you did, why would you do this to him???? and if you don't, WHY ARE YOU DOING ALL THIS???? BASICALLY, WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUUUUUUUU???????? 😩😩😩😩
oh no, why teen din? WHAT HAPPENS IN TEEN DIN????? 😥😥😥
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Eli had his first screen test of sorts today for his upcoming new project. He's never been on camera before, aside from the storytime stream, so he was a little nervous but it's just at the library and it's just a test right?
Apparently not.
We get there and they've got just a lot more stuff set up than you'd expect and someone comes up to him and says "oh, I'm glad you're here. We go live in 20."
I thought I'd have to catch his stomach as it fell out of his ass. He immediately turns to look at me.
"Well...it's been a pleasure being married to you. When I die of a heart attack in 19 minutes you can have my dog."
Some girl comes up with a button up shirt and a pair of pants and asks him if he needs help changing. I actually really don't like the way she asks but he just laughs and says he's sober enough to do it himself. The bathroom is occupied so he changes in his office and when he's done the same girl grabs him by the hand and deposits him into a nearby chair.
"I don't think you're gonna need that much coverage...you already look really really good."
BITCH WHAT?
She applies concealer to his undereyes WITH HER FINGER, rice powders him, and proclaims him "perfect". It's then that she reaches down and UNDOES THREE OF HIS SHIRT BUTTONS.
"You wanna look hot for the moms, right?"
He turns sideways, crossing one leg over the other away from her, and begins buttoning himself back up while glaring at her and deadpanning: "No. Not especially."
Shortly after, someone I've met before but can't remember the name of then OR now, comes up and tells him he's meant to conduct an interview. Shoves a list of questions at him. He asks where the subject is, so he can get comfortable with them and they tell him the dude isn't there yet.
"He should be here before we start though."
SHOULD.
This is when he gets up and heads for the back door and part of me is afraid he's peacing out completely. But I'm mostly enjoying watching him leave because HOLYYYY SHIT those pants are really working. Man's ass is out of control. I kinda want to bite it, pinch it , something. I almost follow him out but no one can know storytime guy married a lustful, tattooed miscreant so I stay where I am while the makeup girl follows him out instead.
He comes back looking even more irritated and he has 5 minutes before they start. At 2 minutes, his subject shows up. It's all a flurry and suddenly they've started.
The guy I know but don't introduces them both, completely butchering Eli's last name which just gets a tiny lopsided smile from Eli. He's just gonna let it go by, but the guy apologizes and tries three more times, every time worse than the last. Finally, he just let's Eli do it, and then asks him if he's Russian...which earns a very strong "Ukrainian, proudly". If anyone caught the vague political statement in this, I can't tell.
The interview goes extremely well. Makeup girl is not wrong, he is perfect. Doesn't stumble. No dead air. No filler. He doesn't look nervous at all...I think that only I can tell he's shitting it internally. It's like it should be, like he wanted when he sat down with them to conceptualize this...open, friendly, human.
When they wrap up, he finds me immediately and picks me up to kiss me. His hands are shaking.
He tells me when we get home that when the makeup girl followed him out, she unbuttoned one of his back pockets and stuck something in there. Her phone number on a gum wrapper. I feel like telling me when she was no longer in striking distance was a good move.
"SO, ARE YOU GOING TO CALL HER THEN?" Jealousy is soooooo fucking ugly but I can't help it.
I'm sitting on the bed, and he's at the closet shedding those gorgeously tight pants. He wheels around on me, pushes me onto my back and kneels down. He hands me the wrapper and grabs the waistband of my pants, pulling.
"Call her while I do this, let her know who I belong to."
#hot librarian chronicles#husband material#my giraffe#i'm in love#perfect boy#gonna cut that makeup bitch
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