#hog waller
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Some moments of fun with Shag Rugg and the village wet nurse of Hog Waller
It's commonplace for Maw Rugg to be on the sidelines every now and then back in the Ozarks country around Hog Waller from wet nursing and spending some "quality time" with that rather lively young son of hers, Shag Rugg ... and if not to put Paw Rugg in line and get things done around their modest farmstead, than to diet on such substances as will stimulate breast milk production. And if it's the latter, Shag will readily be left with Wet Nurse Wilma, who turns out to be Hog Waller's village wet nurse, providing lactate nourishment at the ursine breast for such ursine mothers unable to fill such need for their infants.
But at least to Shag Rugg, Wet Nurse Wilma manages to be something of a substitute mother herself. And like Maw Rugg, Wilma is also fond of the ursine water sports habit in the local river as much for exercise and sustenance as for filling the need for ursine lactation in as natural and pure a manner as it can get. Especially underwater, even to the point of adopting a kneeling stance in the river shallows enough so the breasts are underwater, which can get to feeling rather interesting.
Which Shag can pretty much live with when Maw needs to replenish the nourishment enough to produce breast milk, such based on hill country knowledge and lore of various plants in this respect--especially fenugreek, fennel, milk thistle, goat's rue and blessed thistle.
On one particularly mild autumnal weekend heading into winter, as Maw Rugg was preparing her usual breast milk replenishment exerciseds, Shag Rugg was inevitably left with Wet Nurse Wilma to fill his breast milk needs, which were bound to be rather crazy when you stop to consider how curious Shag Rugg can get. Admittedly, Wilma's breasts were of such massive proportions to satisfy village needs for wet nursing, which was bound to seriously fascinate Shag.
The which was bound to be evident when, during an afternoon session of underwater breast feeding, Shag, attaching his lips to her breast to drink of his fill, couldn't help but be so amazed at the size of Wilma's breasts ... or even the way Wilma caressed them with love to stimulate the flowage of breast milk. Oh yes, and her ursine nakedness, which had Shag rather fascinated to the point of such being obvious between his legs as the breast feeding climaxed. And on a signal, Wilma had Shag leave her breast and begin something of a fascinating show of diving which, even for a young cub like Shag, couldn't have been rather deep and loving (about six feet at most, but on a dare, Shag dived to about ten feet, pretty much the river's deepest point in those parts, on one occasion). And one evening, in sharing her family to Shag--
"Have I ever mentioned to you, Shag, why I find breast feeding underwater especially fascinating?"
To which Shag explained, "I'd have to say, from experience with my own mother, Maw Rugg, that it just feels so--fascinating, just taking my milk underwater in such a fascinating setting! And doesn't it just seem that breast milk must taste more delicious when taken underwater, knowing some diving and swimming are bound to follow?"
"I think you probably answered my question rather aptly, Shag." was how Wet Nurse Wilma parsed it. "And besides, what could be a better motivation to learn ursine aquatics than to be breast fed underwater?"
"Awww ... doesn't it feel oh so wonderful to see you stroking your breast like you do when I'm sucking on it, and just the sheer feeling as must come over me--"
To which the village wet nurse remarked, "From experience myself, what could be more interesting a feeling worth sharing, especially when some diving is bound to come along?"
Talk about stimulation ...
*************
@warnerbrosentertainment @railguner34 @zodiacfan32 @jellystone-enjoyer @a-gang-of-silly-bananas @archive-archives @themineralyoucrave @thylordshipofbutts @princessgalaxy505 @screamingtoosoftly @thebigdingle @warnerbros-blog1 @ultrakeencollectionbreadfan @theweekenddigest @indigo-corvus @groovybribri @warnerbrosent-blog
#hanna barbera#fanfic friday#fanfiction#fanfic#the hillbilly bears#shag rugg#breast milk#wet nurse#wet nursing#breast feeding#underwater#breast stimulation#learning to dive#hog waller#hannabarberaforever
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Midnight Pals: Grosser than Gross
Eric Raglin: report to the goop troop
Shelley Lavigne: and we always stick together
Raglin: yeah we're the goop troop
Lavigne: best of friends forever
Raglin: bop-a-loo bop boppa loo wop
Lor Gislason: YEAH
Lor Gislason: bloop bloop time for goop
King: excuse me lor you're actually supposed to say "submitted for the approval of the midnight society"
Barker: no hang on
Barker: this has a nice ring to it
Poe: oh clive you can't be serious
David Cronenberg: i'm going to start saying that too
Poe: you guys
Poe: you can't just change the intro!
Poe: we all agreed!
Barker: not to mention they have that great song
Poe: that was just the goof troop theme song
Poe: with the word "goof" replaced with "goop"
Barker: was it?
Poe: yes we
Poe: we did the exact same joke the last time lor was here
Barker: it's a catchy song
King: we should get a theme song!
Poe: no we shouldn't
King: i bet the rock bottom remainders could whip up a good-
Poe: NO we shouldn't
Eric Raglin: better watch out, these stories are pretty gross
King: what's gross?
Raglin: grosser than gross
King: what's grosser than gross?
Raglin: Biting into an apple and finding a half a worm
King:
King: ew
Raglin: oink oink piggies here's some stories straight from the pig pen of depravity
Raglin: the swine waller of decadence
Raglin: the hog lagoon of disgustingness
Raglin: like the 1980s Mad Scientist monster lab kit new from Mattel, these stories have been declared "too gross"
Raglin: you ever think about what would happen if you had really bad acne
Raglin: like REALLY bad pus
Shelley Lavigne: i have also been thinking about pus by coincidence
Lor Gislason: bloop bloop me too
King: boy you guys really love pus
Shelley Lavigne: what if there was a party in the heart of a deadly epidemic
Poe: wait this is interesting
Lavigne: a pox party
Poe: sure go on
Lavigne: and it was really horny
Poe: uh Barker: yes go on
Lor Gislason: bloop bloop what if you made clothes out of baby skin?
Gislason: like on an industrial scale?
Gislason: bet they'd find some real weasel words to hide that reality
King: you really think people would do all that?
Agustina Bazterrica: no let him cook
Bazterrica: what if there was a world with cannibalism on an industrial scale
CB Blanchard: people are always talking about the bad things about cannibalism
Blanchard: capitalism
Blanchard: and never about the good things about cannibalism
Blanchard: that it's hot
#midnight pals#the midnight society#midnight society#stephen king#clive barker#edgar allan poe#david cronenberg#eric raglin#lor gislason#cb blanchard#agustina bazterrica#shelley lavigne
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I think I just want to exclaim in old fashioned.
What in the sam hill?
What in tarnation?
I’ll be Hog Wallered!
By Jove!
Alas! Alack!
That felt good.
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Looking for Fun Wrestling Rp?
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if i can ask for 2, ted kord and booster gold?
Ted:
First impression
Like Guy, love at first sight. I fell for the whole JLI crew immediately, and Ted and Booster most of all.
Impression now
Ted is still one of my all-time favorite characters, but I'm so frustrated with what DC is doing with him (and Booster). They haven't done anything interesting with him whatsoever since they brought him back. Why are they writing this character like it's 1987? Why aren't they letting him grow? Adding some queerbaiting here and there in various AUs isn't it, folks.
Favorite moment
Ted beats death itself (and the Overmaster) and celebrates by climbing on top of his best friend and running his fingers through his hair. While calling him "Johnny-Boy" for some reason. The later years of the JLI weren't good but they sure delivered on the over-the-top homoerotic subtext!
Runner up: the first of his many comas, when Amanda Waller goes into his mind and finds him standing there in Dan's uniform, contemplating death. OOF.
Idea for a story
Literally fucking anything that allows him to grow. I don't really have ideas for fic about him at the moment, but there's so much I want DC to do, starting with having him actually be a mentor to Jaime in a decent Jaime book rather than hogging half of the spotlight. Also, see the Booster answers below.
Unpopular opinion
Idk if this is an unpopular opinion but I don't think he should be the lead in a book anymore. That includes Blue and Gold. If there's a Blue Beetle on the stands, it should be Jaime. I want to see Ted as weird comic relief Q to the superheroes, not headlining.
Favorite relationship
Okay OBVIOUSLY Booster, but I also love him with Bea and Scott. I also recently reread his interactions with Tim and they're DELIGHTFUL.
Favorite headcanon
You will pry Ted Kord's Jewishness out of my cold, dead hands.
Booster:
First impression
"I love this shiny gold idiot."
Impression now
"I am this shiny gold idiot." There are a lot of DC characters I relate to but if I had to pick one, it would be Booster "I've mistaken attention of any kind for love and I'm pathetically desperate for it" Gold. Also see above re: being frustrated that DC hasn't done anything interesting with him, which goes double for Booster since he actually did have a lot of growth after Ted's death and that's just...gone, without DC giving us the satisfaction of having the boys a) reunite, b) meet again for the first time and form a new friendship, or c) kiss.
Favorite moment
"Ted is spending WAY too much time with this male underwear model. I'm going to sell my soul to the devil to get out of my life support armor, and then I'm not going to put on clothing for two whole issues until he has paid sufficient attention to me."
Runner up: When he breaks all of time and space in his second series to rescue Ted and there's that glorious splash page where he sees him again and he's trying so hard to make a joke, "but all I can say...is his name." 😭
Idea for a story
All I want is for DC to let me write fifty issues of a Booster Gold comic with all the unhinged glee of the best Legends of Tomorrow episodes, where he's careening around history wearing ludicrous historical versions of his costume and having zany adventures, and in between he goes back to the 21st century and whines at Ted to fix his gear and pines obviously in his direction until Ted finally catches a clue. This would also incorporate that whole thing from Convergence where he gets Time Cancer and eventually turns into Waverider like Ponyta evolving into Rapidash, because Booster Gold, Peak Himbo becoming a time elemental is a galaxy brain take that DC never did anything with at all. LET ME DO SOMETHING WITH IT, DC!!!
Unpopular opinion
STOP CALLING HIM MICHAEL, HE WANTS TO BE CALLED BOOSTER, HE HAS MADE THAT VERY CLEAR
Favorite relationship
Again, very obvious, but I also love his relationships with Rip and Bea and Guy. Also his mutual dislike with Clark is endlessly hilarious.
Favorite headcanon
Booster has an extremely sensitive stomach and has a lot of trouble digesting food in our century. He also gets motion sick when he's not flying under his own power. He's a delicate boy! (This is actually canon - he throws up consistently when he first starts using League teleporters, and by the days of Extreme Justice, Ted is keeping barf bags in the passenger seat of their various vehicles for Booster.)
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My top 10 DCEU movies
Since the DCEU has released one of the most anticipated movies so far, I thought it would be great to look back at my top 10 DCEU movies.
10 - Suicide Squad
A talented cast with some perfect casting such as Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn and Viola Davis as Amanda Waller. However, the characters are so poorly written and uninteresting with a muddled plot results in a really poor movie. Shame the villains look stupid and Jared Leto’s joker is underutilized.
9 - Justice League (2017)
The blatantly obvious reshoots cause tonal inconsistency in the movie. It feels like a generic superhero movie but worst in every aspect. Characters are also poorly written and the villain is as generic as you expect from superhero movies. The humour is also very overblown thanks to Whedon’s cringe humour. However, there are some good scenes in here though but it’s all Snyder’s stuff and definitely not Whedons.
8 - Wonder Woman 1984
https://moviewarfare.tumblr.com/post/638616825368903680/a-review-of-wonder-woman-1984-2020
The idea of Steve now being the fish out of water was a good idea and I love the 1980s setting. However, the story is a disjointed mess and the movie is way too cheesy and cringy.
7 - Birds of Prey
https://moviewarfare.tumblr.com/post/610961667014180864/a-review-of-birds-of-prey-and-the-fantabulous
I liked this movie when it came out and think for a low budget superhero movie, it does a lot of good. It has fun action sequences and some great visuals. It’s just a shame there isn’t enough development of the relationship between the characters which makes the creation of the titled team feel unearned. The R rating feels very unnecessary as well and Cassandra Cain is a disappointing character. It’s not a very memorable movie in my opinion.
6 - Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
https://moviewarfare.tumblr.com/post/645595400097726464/a-review-of-batman-v-superman-dawn-of-justice
The movie has great Batman stuff with one of the best Batman fight scene ever. It’s a shame every other character is boring as hell. Superman is just mopey in every scene, Lois hogs screen time with a very unnecessary plot point and Lex Luthor is played by the worst casting choice ever of Jesse Eisenburg who feels like he is a completely different movie. When the movie is great, it’s amazing but when it’s bad, it’s terrible.
5 - Aquaman
I honestly never thought anyone could bring Aquaman to live action but James Wan did it. It’s a really enjoyable adventure movie with some amazing sea battles. Its plot is very weak and definitely has too many similarities to another really popular superhero movie and the dialogue can be a bit iffy at times. Plus it can feel very CGI heavy which makes it a little much to look at.
4 - Man of Steel
https://moviewarfare.tumblr.com/post/645499301946163200/a-review-of-man-of-steel-2013
Superman punching someone has never looked so amazing as it does in this movie. There are some choices I disagree with and the Lois Lane romance doesn’t feel earned. However, for an origin story, it is really enjoyable to watch thanks to the great casting choices, action sequences and visuals.
3 - Shazam
Such an incredibly fun movie Shazam is. While most of the DCEU movies were on the darker side, this one delves into the most light-hearted and goofier tone. However, it still has a lot of heart and soul in the movie with great action sequences and a slightly scary villain with clear motives. It is still burdened by the issue of an origin story and the villain is one dimensional, plus there are some very sharp tonal shifts.
2 - Zack Snyder’s Justice League
https://moviewarfare.tumblr.com/post/646138262902259712/a-review-of-zack-snyders-justice-league-2021
Infinitely better than the 2017 version in nearly every way. Better written characters, more epic score and more coherent story. The CGI is very unpolished though and the pacing is quite an issue. Despite all that, it might be one of Zack Snyder’s best work to date.
1 - Wonder Woman
Just a really phenomenal movie. The movie structure is clear, the pacing is steady and the tone is consistent. It has a lot of hope and joy embedded into the movie with some amazing action scenes. The cast is great, the cinematography is excellent and the score is stunning. It has a weak third act with it’s overly CGI fight but apart from that, it’s a great movie.
#movies#dc#DC comics#dceu#batman#superman#Wonder Woman#zack snyder#zack snyder's justice league#zsjl#shazam#aquaman#suicide squad
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Crazy chickens taking a dust bath, a real hog waller.
Fun on Forsythia Hill
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Trigger warning for gross male behaviour and attempted sexual assault. And continuing racism.
And yes, I know it's a dumb thing to throw in a Back To The Future easter egg when that has nothing to do with the Wizard of Oz. Leave me alone and let me have my fun!
I had always intended to have something like this happen in this chapter, but seeing the #MeToo stories after Harvey Weinstein was accused (yes, it was written that long ago) made me feel it was necessary to make sure it was part of the fic, to not just gloss over it. Writing these kind of scenes is always very tricky, especially to make them real and graphic enough to make an impression on the reader without making it seem like I enjoyed writing them. I don't, didn't, and can't. Hopefully this hits the intended note.
[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]
"I said, wake up, girl!"
The word "up" had been punctuated by a slap across her face. Elphaba jerked up, eyes fluttering as she tried to shrug off the disorientation.
She was in some sort of office. The trimmings were bare and grubby, and a wooden desk was off to one side of her, laden down with papers and assorted odds and ends. Much more of interest to her were the two men, wearing some sort of domed helmets with emblems on the front of them, and blue button-up shirts with stars over the left breast. One had a handlebar moustache, curling up at the ends; the other a full beard.
"She's comin' 'round," one of them muttered. Her eyes were still a bit blurry to focus fully on which had spoken.
"Wha… where am I? Munchkinland?" The blue was her only hint so far.
"Police station," the bearded one said shortly.
"You're in a heap o' trouble, missy," the other one chuckled. "What 'n the Sam Hill d'you think you was gonna do with that poor li'l girl? Or don't I wanna know the answer?"
Now her brain was beginning to demystify, and she sat up a little straighter. "Me? What are you doing with her? Drugged up so badly she can barely move, she can't control her bladder! It's disgraceful!"
A hand reached up to fist in her hair, drawing her head back. Elphaba felt her heart drop, pain flare along her roots, but she kept her eyes narrowed and stabbing up into his all the while. "What you say to me, negro? I oughtta-"
"Jeb," the other man sighed warningly. A half-second later, Jeb sat back and released her, and he rolled his eyes toward the ceiling before he said flatly, "Y'know you ain't supposed to be in there. Staff only, and that don't mean cleanin' girls."
"It seems to me that you should be asking why a perfectly normal girl has been shocked, and beaten, and given medicine that she doesn't need," Elphaba snapped immediately. She saw Jeb straining to react, but he seemed to remember the other man's warning and restrained himself.
"Ain't your business, y'hear? An' what were you tryin' to do with all that in the pack?"
When Elphaba didn't respond right away, not sure she should, Jeb stood and retrieved said pack. Inside were her spare dresses and the fruit. "Ain't never seen no dress like these before. You straight from one o' them boats, come to America?"
"Excuse me?" Not that she knew what an America was.
"Maybe she ain't coloured in the same way," the bearded man mused, stroking it as he thought. "Could be an Injun girl. Skin ain't dark enough."
"Is that what this is about? My skin tone?" That was the most absurd thing she had ever heard. She'd finally gotten rid of that absurd green hue, and it still wasn't good enough for these uniformed hooligans! And her current colouring was perfectly normal! Some people just wanted to find something to fight about, no matter how preposterous.
"Hush up," Jeb snapped. Then he leaned a little further forward. "Seems to us you was about to kidnap that poor filly. Don't know what a coloured girl wants with a white girl, 'cept to sell 'er off."
She moved to fold her arms over her chest, and only then did she feel metal enclosing her wrists and keeping them behind her back. The metal was warm by now, which might have been why she didn't notice right away. "You- those are my things. Didn't have a thing to do with Dorothy; I only wanted to stop in and see how she was doing, and good thing I did!"
"You really don't know what you done wrong? I ain't never heard a coloured girl try and weasel her way outta trouble so bad as this. Know what I think?"
"Jeb…"
"Think you're one o' them queer women. Like the widows over yonder in Boston." He stood and began to walk in a slow circle to stand behind her. "Kidnappin' a poor li'l farm girl… or maybe you's thinkin' you'd ransom her back to her folks, if she had any. Or white slavery, like I said afore."
"Enough." Sighing again, the bearded man turned back to Elphaba, all business. "Don't matter why you done it. Trouble is, even if you ain't been caught doin' more than just bein' in the wrong place, we can't turn y' loose into the street; gotta make an example of you."
The man with the mustache smiled at his companion. "Put her in the pen for the night? Ought to make her think twice."
"Reckon that'll do it," he sighed, looking distinctly queasy about the prospect. Not that Elphaba understood much of this; she understood she had trespassed, due to needing a key that didn't belong to her in order to enter Dorothy's room, but given that the girl was being kept against her will and mistreated, she couldn't summon any remorse for her own actions.
"Fine," she snapped in irritation. "Put me in this 'pen' of yours." After all, she wouldn't be in there for more than half of a day at the most before a magic belt would rescue her. The simplest solution was to stop fighting against these matters and wait for them to resolve themselves with her complete and utter disappearance.
They seemed to readily accept her suggestion. In short order, she was dragged out of the chair and thrown into a small cell bordered by iron bars, taking the cuffs off just before shutting the door — or gate, as might be a more accurate description when it was made entirely of bars. A handful of other prisoners were in there already, but most of them were seated against the wall or curled up against the bars. One bench was in the cell, and it was already taken up by a lump of someone trying to sleep.
"A night in there oughtta make you more cooperative," Jeb sneered.
"As if I haven't been entirely cooperative up until now!" she shouted at their retreating backs, completely affronted. "You're the ones who've been treating me without any shred of courtesy!"
Realising they weren't going to bother with her any further for the rest of the night, she watched as the bearded man chatted with Jeb for a moment before leaving the room, then Jeb settled himself in a chair. Bored, she turned back to the rest of the cell.
Immediately, she noticed several sets of eyes focused upon her. Some felt like leers, some were openly hostile. But some of them were merely curious. Elphaba looked around for somewhere to sit away from the door. There was no empty space. So she stepped to one side of the gate and leaned back against the wall, trying to make herself comfortable.
It was some time, perhaps the greater portion of an hour, before one of the men staggered over to the latrine. Elphaba averted her eyes.
"Whassa matter, girl?" One of the other prisoners was addressing her, not the one relieving himself. "Never seen one o' those before?"
"I haven't," she told him firmly through her teeth. "And I've survived this long without it, so no thank you."
"Whoo-ee! You sure do talk purty."
Elphaba decided against acknowledging the dubious compliment. Instead, she pretended to be vaguely interested in a spot on the ceiling. After a moment or two, another man joined in: "Yeah, one of them educated coloureds. Bet we can find more better uses for that mouth."
While a couple of them chuckled, one in the corner with extremely shaggy hair, beard and eyebrows groaned, "Lyle, will you shove it? Some of us is tryin' to sleep."
"And I'm tryin' to have a little fun here. We got us a woman in here with us, can't go nowhere, an' all you wanna talk about is sleepin'? You ain't a real man."
"And you ain't no gentleman or you wouldn't talk like 'at." There was some booing, so the man fell silent, but he had made his point known.
Things grew silent for a while. Elphaba was beginning to think maybe the novelty of her arrival had worn off, and she would be able to pass the time in relative silence. It was a bit premature.
"Listen," said "Lyle" as he approached her an hour or so later, voice quieter. He smelled strongly of some powerful kind of drink, and looked as if he normally shaved but hadn't bothered in several days. The hair atop his head was thinning and he was missing a tooth, and even without these factors, he wasn't a terribly appealing specimen. "You and I both know you ain't a lady, so it ain't any kind o' discourtesy for me not to be no gentleman."
"We do, do we?" she muttered shortly.
"Yeah." His hand came to rest on her waist, and she had to resist the urge to immediately fling it off. But she was biding her time. "C'mon, now… let's have some fun, girl. Stuck in this hog pen… we can have ourselves a waller."
Her smile was ingratiating. She had seen Glinda do it enough times to manage a similar effect, even if not quite. But the man was drunk enough that he couldn't catch the biting sarcasm. "Enlighten me. What is a 'waller' and why should we have it?"
"You know."
"I don't. But perhaps if you explain it, we could find out my opinion on the matter."
One of the men whistled and then laughed, and Lyle shot him a glare. But he didn't bother to divert his attention from his current goal any further. Turning back with a grin, he leaned in close to her ear to whisper, "I'll make a woman outta you. Right here up against these bars. Open you up and see if you's brown on the inside, too."
"Mmm," she cooed. "Well, I definitely know exactly what the chances of that are."
"Oh, you do, do you?"
"Yes."
There was something about Elphaba and her habits during their days on the run from the Wizard's forces and Morrible's wrath that almost seemed unimportant. Even though she did learn a few spells that would help she and Glinda clean and keep house, mostly, they had learned to do it by hand. Two years of housekeeping, scrubbing, shifting boulders or furniture, woodworking to make new furniture. It got even worse during the weeks at Kiamo Ko Keep; there was a lot of work to be done, and they all pitched in to make the space liveable. Once they had made the Royal Palace their home, Elphaba had fully intended to put those days of hard physical labour behind her completely… but she had only spent a few nights lying awake, feeling too restless to sleep, before she figured out why. After that, she had resumed a regular amount of work; when the Palace staff rebelled, telling her that it was their job to take care of such things and not the job of a Councilwoman, she began doing some of the same actions without any obvious gain other than maintaining that use of energy to which her body had become accustomed. And a bit of woodworking as a hobby; Glinda and she had done it together, and occasionally, Nessa joined them.
All of which might appear to some as irrelevant… until Elphaba grasped the man's wrist and forced it away with relative ease, despite his superior size.
"O-ow, hey, what're-"
"The chances are less than zero," she told him in a firm tone, her smile turning cold and sinister. Something else she had a lot of practice with now. "I am not a 'girl', and I am not interested in a 'waller' with you. And regardless of what hue I am on the inside, you will never discover that. Do we have an understanding?"
"Listen, you bi- AH!" The twisting of the wrist in the direction that it certainly didn't go cut off his protestation, and his face contorted in sheer pain. "Giddoff, giddoff!"
"Do we… have… an understanding?"
"Yes'm! Leggo, please!"
Finally, she did, and he cradled his arm as he slunk back to his corner of the cell. Now she could tell most of the eyes were on her, regarding her with suspicion, wariness. Anger as if she had disappointed them by not being at all what they had been expecting. Only one man looked faintly amused and pleased, and that was the one who had told Lyle to calm down earlier.
It was going to be a much longer night than she first predicted.
~ o ~
It was the wee hours of the morning when Lyle struck again. Elphaba had been dozing off and on, as had most everyone in the cell. The man who had been sleeping on the single bench was released by Jeb at some point, and another man along the wall took his place when no one else claimed it fast enough. She felt somewhat offended that no one had thought to offer it to the single lady present, but then again, these men of Kansas seemed to have no idea about proper manners. It was the kind of thing that would have had Glinda screaming at them to behave.
The thought of Glinda had made her smile as she curled up against the wall, where the man now in the cot had been. Feeling the slight warmth of the floor in the spot and finding it comforting in a moment when she had little comfort. That, and the thought of her beloved.
That's what she was, after all. They were right to plan for a marriage. She had only been resistant to the notion because such pomp did not suit her preferences, which were to keep to herself and her circle of friends. Being in charge of the fate of Oz, even partially, had not been something she sought on its own merits — only to ensure that their world was not made any worse. Now that Ozma could be in charge, taking the larger share of the spotlight and being the people's favourite, she was much happier.
But Glinda wanted to do things properly, and she wouldn't deny her that. Besides… even if she didn't feel the same need to show her off in front of Lurline and everyone, she was proud of her roommate. Proud and highly fond. Two lovers often married if they intended to remain lovers, and if that was expected of her, she would gladly do it. For Glinda's sake.
She couldn't know how much time had slipped past while she slept when she felt a hand somewhere it certainly didn't belong. Her eyes flashed open to see Lyle's smirking face as he continued to pet up and down the back of her thigh.
"No."
"Now, now, I gave you time to think on it," he whispered, not stopping in the slightest. "Hopin' you'd see sense on yer own. But you ain't."
"No, Lyle."
His smile vanished, replaced by a colder look. "Ain't no negro woman gonna tell me 'no'. We can either have a good time, or you can have a bad one, an' I'll have a good'n anyhow. Really want it that way?"
All the while he spoke, her stomach had been churning to feel him doing something that was not his right to do. If she had her magic, he would have been incinerated for daring to ignore her wishes. As it was… "You're not going to have any kind of time. Get… your hand… off."
"Suit yerself." And he began to pull her dress up.
This time, when she grasped his arm, he was ready, and his other hand came up to stop hers. The arm beneath her body was trapped, so she couldn't use two on him, and was busy struggling with the one as his hand was free to keep pulling until she was partially exposed. Her face flushed with embarrassment and anger, and she wanted nothing more than to kill him where he stood. Why did she feel trapped? He was nothing to her, and his strength negligible. Somehow, the fact that he was attacking her in such a disgusting way made her feel a certain shame that she couldn't quite articulate. As if speaking out against him, or forcing him away, would be admitting that this was happening in the first place. And she didn't want that.
"Don't fuss now," he kept on as he pet her bare thigh. Bile tried to make its way up her throat, and her eyes stung. "A little fun an' you can go back to sleep." When she tried to sit up, he shoved her back down. "I said… don't fuss."
But she was definitely going to fuss. It seemed that he had thought that little show of force was going to be enough to quiet her protests. It wasn't; instead, it was just enough to prompt the stubborn witch into action.
"GUARD!" she shouted in a voice that might even have carried outside the building. "Handle your prisoners!"
The hand on her arm moved up to clamp over her mouth. That might have cut off another shout, but it also was the wrong move. She was able to pop up to a sitting position with her other arm propped up against the ground. Even better: due to the way he was crouched over her, it was a simple matter for her other arm to flash upward and injure the part of his anatomy driving him to perpetrate such acts of perversion.
The howling of pain was what brought Jeb to the door of the cell. By the time he arrived, a few of the other prisoners were awake and staring at Lyle as he curled in on himself, rolling around and clutching between his own legs. Elphaba was fully sat up with her back straight, eyes narrowed down at him.
"Wasn't that fun?" she flung at him in a growl.
"Alright, alright!" the guard snapped at all the men who were either wincing or chortling at Lyle's misfortune. "You already causin' trouble, girl?"
"She got me good! Oh… oh, I ain't never gonna have no kids!"
"Like you was gonna have kids, anyway, Lyle." His eyes swept back to Elphaba and he glared right back at her. "Don't make me come in there after ya."
Grin dark and vicious, she snapped, "I don't care what you do, pissant. Clearly, you are tasked with keeping order in this place, and clearly, you are not up to that task."
There was a whistling and a laughter of a different kind coming from the rest of her fellow inmates now. Jeb didn't appreciate it, as the way his cheeks flushed and his eyes narrowed seemed to suggest. Curling and uncurling his fists, he reached for the keyring and snapped at her, "Get up, girl."
"What if I don't?"
"I'm gonna put you in a different cell. Don't get up, and it'll be just you and Lyle."
"Fate worse 'n death," said the man who had also jeered at her along with Lyle. A few chuckles accompanied her as she pushed her dress back into place, then slowly stood and approached the bars.
"Hands behind your back, and turn around." She obeyed. Once the door was open, he immediately put the manacles he'd used before around her wrists. They were of an unusual design, and tightened just enough for her wrists; even while she was still furious about what had happened, annoyed that no one seemed to care, she was curious about how such a device was made.
"Can we come, too?" asked one of the men in the corner. He was ignored, though a couple of the others laughed. They seemed to do that a lot.
Jeb took her around the corner to another cell. This one was much smaller, filthier, and had only a wooden plank in the corner to serve as a cot. He unlocked the door and shoved her inside, and she staggered to lean against a wall before she could regain her balance. Then she whirled to glare at him.
"You know, the way a man treats his equals is not a measure of his character. It's how he treats those in an inferior position. Think about that every time you remember how you shoved a woman in handcuffs around."
Jeb glared at her for a long moment. Then he drew his hand back and brought it hard across the side of her face. She felt her body collide with the wall, the room spun, but she did not fall. She fought off the dizziness and forced herself to stand again, to glare at him as a copper flavour began to blossom along her taste buds.
"Had just about enough o' your mouth, whore. Come in here, makin' me look bad in front o' Hoss, in front o' the other prisoners. An' you jus' a coloured girl, ain't nobody important, actin' like you is. That's enough outta you, y'hear?"
Elphaba glared daggers at him for a long moment. Then she worked her mouth until she had a good, thick gob and spat it into his face. The splotch of red blood mingled with the saliva made quite a pattern outward from his cheek, and he flinched in shock.
"What colour is that on your face? My blood. That you don't deserve to touch, but you caused it to be there. What a disgusting excuse for a person you are."
He reached up to backhand her again, but this time she ducked the blow and he connected with the wall instead. Taking her opportunity, she lashed out with her leg and shoved at his stomach so that he staggered back out of the cell. Desperately, she wanted to break free, to run, but he was already struggling to his feet, he would definitely catch her with minimal effort. She didn't even know if she could turn the knob to the entrance of the building with her arms pinned in such a way.
So she kicked the door to the cell shut. It latched with a loud CLANG.
"Damn you!" he snarled, rattling the bars. He went for his keys, but she spat at him again, and this time he pulled back out of the way. "SICK! I don't want none o' your… your darkie diseases!"
"Then you'd better not come in here again, or I'll spit on you until you're covered in them!"
They regarded each other for a long moment. He seemed to realise that she meant business, and that nothing he could do would change the situation. Then he grumbled, "Lyle's plum crazy. Wants anything to do with some girl like you… plum crazy."
Then he was gone. For the first time since that moment in the closet, she felt well and truly alone, and found it to be a relief. Even if she would have wished for Glinda to be there, to put her arms around her and tell her everything would be alright… if she couldn't have that, she would take solitude with a glad heart.
~ o ~
Uncomfortable though it was to lay down with her hands still bound in the small of her back, Elphaba did manage to get a little more sleep once her racing pulse left her alone. It took a long time. Thoughts continued to crash through her mind. When she wasn't dwelling on Lyle or Jeb's misdeeds, differing in variety of transgression as they were, she was worrying about Dorothy's wellbeing. Missing Glinda. Everything had turned into such a mess in a small fraction of a day. How could the Kansas girl ever have wanted to come back to this awful place?
She was awoken by a banging on the bars. "Get up," said another voice she didn't recognise. Blinking stupidly, she tried and was unable. "Hurry now."
"I can't," she croaked, throat dry. Only then did she realise she hadn't eaten since before she first arrived. Or had more than a brief drink of water.
There was a put-upon sigh. By the time the man had entered, she realised this was another uniformed person, but not either of them from the evening before. His mustache was of a more traditional sort, bushy and covering his upper lip, unlike Jeb's which had been waxed to curl at the points. He reached down behind her, and she tensed all over-
And hated herself for doing it. After one single incident, one she thought was stupid and ridiculous, she had expected that he would do what the prisoner had done. Her stomach tightened, her pulse ticked up in speed, and her breath stopped entirely until she heard the key sliding into the lock of the restraint. Only then could she breathe again.
He noticed. As he was drawing the metal cuffs away, he squinted at her reaction, but then continued to stand. "Up ya get, girl. C'mon."
Elphaba managed to stand. He neither helped her nor further tried to chivvy her along as she worked to regain her footing. Once she was standing, swaying slightly, he turned and exited the cell, then waited for her to do the same.
As he led her past the bars of the other cell, Lyle saw her and scrambled to his feet to throw himself up against the bars. His eyes were full of unbridled fury, and his knuckles turned white where they clutched at the bars. Spittle ran down from the corner of his mouth as he watched her go.
"You'll git yours, slut! Just you wait an' see!"
"Here, now!" the officer barked, and drew out a smallish wooden club from his belt and slapped it against the bars. Lyle leapt backward in alarm; it had just barely missed his fingers. "Settle down in there."
"You'd better do as the man says," the shaggy one who had admonished Lyle before said, merriment in his eyes. "She ain't nothin' to ya, and you ain't nothin' in the first place."
While everyone else was guffawing and chiding him for his outburst, Lyle's face burned with mingling rage and embarrassment. Good, Elphaba thought. Now he knows the tiniest fraction of how he made me feel.
The officer was leading her to a tiny office, one with a door, unlike the desk she had been at when she first awakened in this gaol. The door shut behind them. On the desk were two simple metal platters, piled with a sticky-looking greyish substance. A little clearish-yellow puddle was in the dead center.
"Et up," he told her as he sat down on the other side, taking up his spoon.
Elphaba sat. After a moment of watching him stir the muck around and begin eating it, she did the same — and it hardly tasted like anything. She pulled a face. Still, it was food, and she was starving. Once the muck was stirred a little more, the flavour seemed to gain a hint of saltiness that hadn't been present before, which made it more palatable. Enough to stomach the rest of it.
About halfway through, she paused and wiped at her mouth, swallowed. Then she asked, "What are you feeding me for?"
"Hm? Ain't you eat?"
"Well… I do, yes."
"Then eat."
Left with no other choice, she finished her plate. Then she sat back and sighed pleasantly.
"Good." He took the time to dab at his mouth, then looked up at her. "You aim to tell us what you were doin' slinkin' around the loony bin?"
"Loony…? Ah." Caught off her guard, Elphaba fumbled, "I, um… well, I was visiting a friend."
"That girl, Dorothy? Ain't got any friends, way I heard tell. Her Ma and Pa dropped her like a sack of ol' potatoes."
"Uncle and Aunt."
"Eh?" He glanced down at a notepad that was open in front of him. Until that moment, Elphaba had paid it no mind in the slightest. "So they were. Orphan girl, I hear."
"That's right. Her Aunt Em and Uncle Henry took her in after she lost her parents." As often as she heard Dorothy mutter those two names, she practically had them tattooed on the inside of her skull.
"Mmm. Poor thing. But I can't figure how a coloured girl'd know Miss Gale, or why she'd sneak in to see her. I mean, what with negroes bein' free an' all nowadays, cain't be their kept girl."
Again, the stipulation that she was "free". As opposed to what? Costly? But Elphaba was trying her best not to let it become readily apparent that she was not native to the Land of Kansas. So she merely shrugged her shoulders and muttered, "She's a friend, as I stated before. And I was worried about her welfare — and rightly so! Do you know they've got her locked in a room with practically nothing? Dosed until she can barely move, shocked with… with I don't know what!"
By now, the bristle-mustached officer was a little surprised at all of her unnecessary explanation. She could have kicked herself, but it was too late for that. So she merely waited for him to finish nodding down at his plate, and then to speak again.
"Yep. So you says. Reckon you wouldn't have much use for her otherwise, and you ain't have anything like a gun on ya to scare off anybody tryin' to stop ya. Mighty stupid… and I don't peg you for a dummy."
Elphaba only understood every third word the man said, but it sounded like he was agreeing with her, so she didn't try his patience. "Sorry for the trouble I've caused."
"Mm. Jeb was jammerin on this mornin' that you spit on 'im, kicked him outta the cell. That true?"
"I… I'm afraid it is." Her entire body braced for the impact of his retribution. Instead, he only chuckled, eyes crinkling in a way that his mouth couldn't show from behind that mustache. "Sir?"
"Funny as heck to me, miss. Coloured girl with her hands cuffed licks one o' my men? He oughtta be tarred and feathered, and thrown out into th' streets. Not fit to be an officer of the law."
"Begging your pardon, but I'm glad he wasn't very fit, or I might not be alive."
He nodded, his laughter finally petering out as he scrutinised her face. Then his nods finished up with a stronger one. "Maybe so. Too much fire in that boy's belly. Glad you gave 'im a little humility; good for 'im."
"If you say so."
"Tell you what. Y'ain't seem t' me like much of a risk, or a dangerous type. Another night in the cell, I'll turn ya loose. But you better see Little Miss Dorothy through proper procedure next time, y'hear?"
"Well, I suppose I ought to find her aunt and uncle first. Do you know where they are now?" An idea occurred to her. "Ever since the storm, I'm afraid I'm not sure where they're living."
"Not sure? Ain't you their mammy?"
Elphaba had no idea what he meant by this, though it sounded like he was implying she was Dorothy's grandmother. Deciding that probably wasn't it, she said, "Just a family friend" and left it at that.
"Fair 'nough." He thought for a moment, tapping his chin with the end of his pencil. Then he said, "Tell you what. On account of you rilin' up the men in the drunk tank, how's about I take you down t' see Hank an' Em? Maybe we can straighten this whole thang out."
"Oh, they wouldn't remember me," she said with a laugh. "Dorothy does, but…" Still, she might be able to work this to her advantage. "But I would like to speak with them all the same. The doctors really weren't forthcoming at the asylum, because they couldn't seem to believe I was Dorothy's guest."
"Ain't many coloured women want anythin' to do with that place."
"Maybe not, but I don't appreciate being called a kidnapper."
"Might be one. I ain't seen any proof different." Still, he was already standing, reaching beneath his shirt to hitch up his pants. "Let's git to goin'."
~ o ~
Apparently, this "goin'" was to be accomplished in a horse-drawn cart of some sort. Elphaba's escort took them outside the city proper and its drab, lackluster buildings, into the surrounding cornfields and featureless pastures with somewhat odd beasts grazing in them. The way was quite bumpy, and she felt obliged to hold on for dear life as they bumped over the road toward their destination. The police captain, whose name turned out to be Will, said very little along the way, but he did ask a question or two that Elphaba did her best to answer. Some of them, such as "Where at in Africa your kin from?" meant literally nothing to her, so she had to throw out such winning responses as "Don't remember".
Eventually, after what felt like a year of unpleasant riding, they reached a small farmstead. The house was much larger and more noteworthy than the tiny shack that had landed near Nest Hardings; there was a tiny amount of pale yellow paint adorning the eaves and the shutters. Elphaba found herself wondering if they had entered the Vinkus before she caught herself.
A brief knock brought a young woman to the door. She looked to be about Dorothy's age, perhaps a bit younger, and her russet hair reminded her strongly of Ozma's. Bare feet stuck out the bottom of a dingy dress of muted colours that swished around her ankles, still moving quite a bit from her most likely having run from several rooms away to see whom had knocked. After smiling at them, she seemed to be startled enough by the mismatched pair that her smile vanished, and she ducked her head shyly.
"Evenin', missy," the man said, doffing his hat. Underneath, he was very nearly bald, and what hair was left was grey and wiry. "Might I inquire after Hank and Em Gale?"
It took her a moment of staring openly at Elphaba before he found her voice. "M-mama?" she asked distantly. But a moment later, she seemed to come back to herself and called more loudly, "MAMA! Policeman at the door!"
Not long afterward, another woman, her own hair a darker blonde and wispy, came to the door to greet the strangers. She was more primly dressed, more polite, and had a better handle on her own manners, curtsying in front of the officer and then showing them into the parlour. Her daughter was shooed upstairs to hide away, since she was clearly uncomfortable around strangers.
"Sorry about my Frances," she told them in a pleasant-yet-flustered tone, shooing him into a chair. "Afraid we don't get many visitors out these parts. Can I fetch you a drink, sir? Cider, or anything stronger? I could put the kettle on…"
"No, no, ain't stayin' that long, miss," he assured her with a crinkle at the corner of his eyes. Elphaba resisted the temptation to comment on their host not offering her a beverage; she was beginning to accept her hypothesis that her skin tone meant she was of lower social standing, ludicrous as that was.
"Begging your pardon," she said, startling the woman and causing her to blink rapidly, "but might there be a Henry and Em Gale here?"
The woman didn't answer right away, but looked to her escort. When he nodded, she still directed her answer toward him. "Indeed there is. Sad story, it is; poor old things."
"Nasty twister, that one was," he sighed with a slow nod, staring off toward the parlour window. "Bunch o' folks lost good homes. Land."
"That's why we took them in, y'know. Em's so good with livestock, and my Frances, and Hank can work all day like I never seen; good and decent, Christian folk. Shame about their niece."
That most certainly caught Elphaba's attention. Sinking down onto the settee next to the "policeman", as the girl had named him, she asked, "What about their niece? I went to pay her a visit, and everyone behaved as if I was trying to kill someone."
But this woman, mother of Frances, was highly distracted. The way she was looking at Elphaba was the look of someone who had seen something highly unpleasant. She hadn't looked at her that way before. When no answer came right away, she glanced over at Will, hoping for some sort of revelation. He, too, seemed vaguely surprised, but not nearly as shocked or affronted as the hostess.
"I… well, alright. It's alright." Turning back to the hostess, Elphaba caught her sighing and passing a hand over her forehead before continuing, "We're part of the Union, after all. Just haven't ever had any…"
"Dorothy, ma'am?" the officer prompted.
"Right. She's off her rocker, I'm sad to say. Can't be all that shocked, as a good many people saw her go up in that house. Darned if I know how she survived! But that kind of thing can't be good for your mind, y'know. So… well, when she came back down, they found her and took her name, and brought her back to Em and Hank. Only she wouldn't quit jawin' on about nonsense, flyin' monkeys and I don't know what all! Well, that ain't the sort of thing I want fillin' my Frances' head, so… well, Em and Hank took care of it on their own, o' course. My Seamus never had to say a word, they already knew what was best."
That completed the picture that Elphaba had already more or less filled in along the way, save for a few details. So she had come back, been reunited with her family, only to have them dismiss her tale as the ramblings of a madwoman and have her sentenced to eternal isolation. It was abominable. Worse — it was unfamilial.
"And you and Seamus let them take care of the matter," she supplied in a numb tone. Again, she saw how uncomfortable the woman looked whenever she spoke, but she paid that no mind. "Could I ask them a few questions? The poor girl was so distraught when I tried to see her, I thought if I might learn a little more, I could talk some sense into her the next time I try."
"And… no offense intended, miss, but what good's a coloured woman from the big city goin' to do Dorothy?"
"Big city?"
"Sure. I mean… obviously, you come from New York or somewheres, talkin' like you do. Educated negroes don't much live 'round here."
Her jaw tightened in annoyance at all the sidetracking, but she tried to remember that shouting at her — or slapping that strangely condescending-yet-afraid look off her face — wouldn't make any strong progress toward her goals. So she forced the grimace into something like a smile.
"Listen, miss… what was it again?"
"Maggie."
"Maggie, yes. I'm an acquaintance of Dorothy's; we had a good many conversations, and she's a charming young woman. At least, she was before all this happened." She just barely kept from mentioning that the 'all this' to which she referred was what the doctors had done to her. "I'd like to see if we might restore her to who she once was."
Maggie scoffed a little. "And how on earth can you do that? Voodoo?"
"Might be. I do have a trick or two up my sleeve." When the hostess gulped, actually frightened now that she hadn't denied it, she turned back to Will. "Hope you don't mind? If we could get everything straightened out today…"
"'Course not," he sighed. He did look weary, but also as if grateful for the shortest route to settling the matter. "Ma'am, if you could point us in the right direction? Cain't take but a few minutes."
Curtsying slightly to show her deference to him as an authority figure, she shot Elphaba another wary glance as she whispered, "Right this way." But her eyes remained on the woman as she led them away from the parlour. Elphaba repaid that courtesy in kind.
Emily and Henry Gale were out in the barn. Both of them were hard at work, though not at any sort of frantic pace; happy to be of use. Elphaba spared a thought for how much their lives must have changed in the past months, since losing their home and everything they had ever held dear. Including Dorothy. Still, she wouldn't forget what she had seen — what they had done to their niece.
Henry was a man with about as much hair as Will, skin spotted with age and from working in the sun all his life. He swiped his forearm across his forehead as he got up from where he was helping another man, hair as bright red and blazing as the sun itself, fixing some sort of wheeled contraption meant to help them move produce from one place to another.
"Maggie!" Seamus called out, shadowing his eyes. "Who's this yer bringin', then?"
Unlike him, she didn't shout back, but waited until they were closer to call, "Officer William, from in Topeka! Says he has questions for Hank and Em!"
"Me?" asked Henry. He had been about to make himself scarce, believing this to be none of his business, but now turned back again, stunned. "Whatever about?"
In short order, they had all gathered around a horse trough while Seamus and Will shook hands, and Maggie went inside to fetch Em. Again, Elphaba felt soundly ignored, but she decided that soon enough she would be back in Oz and could forget all about the unprecedented rudeness she had found in Dorothy's homeland.
From everyone except Angeline, and to a lesser extent, Will. That would bear some remembering, even if everyone else had made the worst impression imaginable.
"Alright," Will said once they had all been introduced. Toto had come out of the barn, and Elphaba felt a slight flare of surprise to see him there; she had almost expected they would sell the dog off once Dorothy was no longer there to take care of him. "We had a couple o' questions about your Miss Dorothy, is all. Well… Miss Elphaba?"
The elderly couple looked a little surprised that the query would be coming from someone they had been ignoring since they got to the barn. Elphaba decided to sidestep that frustration and begin with, "I don't believe you'll remember me, but I'm an old acquaintance of Dorothy's. In passing, I heard that she had been put in that awful asylum and I tried to visit her. Can't begin to even explain how unacceptable the treatment I received there was, and what I've seen-"
"Sorry, but I don't know of any negro women our Dorothy was acquainted with," Em said in an astonished voice. "Fact, other than a few farmhands… I don't reckon she knew any negroes."
"You know, you all spend a lot of time using that word," Elphaba observed with a little more bite than she intended. "As if it automatically settles a lot of things that it most certainly does not! How about we forget 'negro' for a moment, whatever that's supposed to connote, and focus on the heart of the matter: that Dorothy is being gravely abused in that institution of yours!"
"Abused?" Henry blustered immediately, hands curling into fists as Toto barked to hear his stern tone. "What've they done to 'er?"
"Only fed her medicine that caused her to drool like a toothless old kalidah! Shocked her with…" It took her a moment to come up with the word. "'Lectricity, and even beaten her when she was uncooperative! It's bad enough to have shut her up in a room where she can be forgotten conveniently, but in my opinion, physical injury is a step too far! This would never happen in Oz, you know!"
Everyone fell silent at these accusations. However, it wasn't the sort of silence Elphaba had been vainly hoping she might enjoy. They were not outraged, they were not angered. Only saddened and uncomfortable.
"Well… yes, I s'pose that could be," Em said.
"Oswego?" Seamus mused quietly, having misheard Elphaba. "Never been that far south, can't say I've heard they have an asylum there."
"Didn't you say she was demented?" Will prompted, hoping to keep their discussion focused. "Saw nonsense things, talked 'bout 'em?"
"She was," Henry admitted, as distraught as the others. "We tried t' reason with her a bit more, get her to admit she dreamed up the whole mess, but when she got Frances all aflutter and scared, seemed only right we give her over to th' doctors. I ain't any expert on brains."
Elphaba wanted to scream. At them, and in general. This was really all the regret they could summon? But she forced herself to fire at them through her clenched teeth, "She's your family. Why aren't you more upset that she's being hurt on a daily basis?"
"Ain't that simple," Em said, though she was squirming. "The doctors know best; we're simple folk, mind. Can't know what to do with a child who's got a head all twisted up like that."
Finally addressing Elphaba himself, Seamus seemed to come to a realisation — even if he was the only one, and even if he only grasped a piece of the problem. "Look, lass. None of us wanted to have her sent away, did we? But she was ill of the mind, she was. Not a place for her here if she was ill. Had to take her somewhere she might get looked after better than by us, bein' uneducated farmers."
That much made sense. Even if they were quite wrong about the Topeka Insane Asylum being somewhere "better". Her rage had nowhere to go, so she spun on her heels and faced away from them, eyes threatening to stream tears as she stared out over the fields at the setting sun. The countryside was somehow beautiful when lit up in such a manner, even if it couldn't hold a candle to Oz and its splendour. A simple kind of elegance.
"Well, I reckon that's it," Will observed once a short silence had passed. A fresh sob burst from Em, but she still didn't turn to acknowledge it. "Thanky kindly for your time, sir, ma'ams."
"No trouble," Maggie said quickly, ever the hostess.
"Wait," Elphaba said, mastering her emotions and turning back to regard them coldly. It was the best she could do; Glinda might have been able to summon a smile after all that, but she wasn't Glinda. "I would appreciate some kind of… I don't know, decree, that I may visit her. The persons in charge there were highly opposed, and had me imprisoned for attempting to force my way in."
"An' somehow, she ain't the crazy one," Will muttered. But he wasn't trying to stop her.
In short order, Henry and Em signed a brief note stating Elphaba Thropp would be entitled to visit Dorothy — after they had finished with goggling at her unusual name — and the officer signed it as well, bearing witness to the event. Then they walked the guests to the front door.
"Take care, now," Henry told her in a pained voice, scratching behind Toto's ears.
"Tell Dorothy we'll come an' see her soon as we're able," Em said.
"I will. I will tell her that." Perhaps her tone, if not her words, conveyed that she would think far less of them if they never followed through on such a promise.
To Be Continued…
#The Coven Of Oz#forkanna writes#wicked fanfiction#the wizard of oz#fanfiction update#jess the writer
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The hog slide
Well that didn’t work so well. It’s been several days since I posted an excerpt from my book, A Sharecroppers Son this one is called the pig slide.When I was about six years old, we had just moved to a bit bigger farm. It would get so hot that our hogs were just miserable. So pop got all us boys together with shovels to dig a hog Waller, we went to a clay basin about 100 yards from the house. We…
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Meanwhile, back in Hog Waller--
Even allowing for where Shag Rugg is becoming more of a "mama's boy," you can guess where Maw Rugg is excusing to the point of outright encouragement Shag associating with what amounts to a clique of youngish bears from the general area, learning much and being fascinated by what they discover. Especially wearing themselves more or less and learning much about their bodies, as if diving escapades weren't fascinating enough back in the holler.
#hanna barbera#headcannons#fanfic prompt#the hillbilly bears#shag rugg#hog waller#juvenile precocity#precocia#juvenile discovery#hannabarberaforever
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Valentine’s Day is here, here’s our story ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ How’d you meet? Concert Hotline 😅 First Date: March 1991 “Want to come over & help me clean my room”? Then tacos... How long have you been together: 30 years this March Age difference: 5 years Who was interested first: Him Who is taller: Him Who said I love you first: Him Most impatient: Him Most sensitive: Me Loudest: Definitely Me Most Stubborn: Both of us Falls asleep first: We take turns Cooks better: Me Better morning person: Me Better driver: Me 😂 (he may debate this) Most competitive: Me Funniest: Me Where do you eat out most as a couple: Mamacita’s Who is more social? Him Who is the neat freak? Me Where was your first kiss? Driveway Who initiated your first kiss? Him Do you get flowers often? He has gotten them for me sporadically… But I don’t like cut flowers 🤷🏼♀️ How long did it take to get serious? Not long Plans date night? Either Who picks where you go to dinner? We take turns Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong? This one is split it’s either of us Who wears the pants in the relationship? Not sure. Pretty equal Who cries more? Me Who has more tattoos? He does for the moment 💀 Who sings better? Me Hogs the remote? Him Hogs the covers? He will say me. I say him. Spends the most? Ummmm...probably me over time, but him all at once. Did you go to the same school? No Where is the furthest you two have traveled? Dubai (him) Hawaii (me) California (together) Who drives when you are together? Usually Him Post a picture of you and your valentine 🥰 💕💕 . . . . #ValentinesDayChallenge #heaight #loveandmarriage #ilovemyhusband #theredmonds #swolemate #couplesthatlift #30years #GodsPlan (at Waller, Texas) https://www.instagram.com/p/CLSYZhjnXRc/?igshid=1azqs34cjl66e
#valentinesdaychallenge#heaight#loveandmarriage#ilovemyhusband#theredmonds#swolemate#couplesthatlift#30years#godsplan
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2.) A person who you admire
I adore my parents. They have given me their unconditional love and support from day one. I wouldn’t be who I am today without them. They’re both now in retirement, both took it ‘early’ which I love, they now have more time for them. With Dad previously working as a fireman he was always on shifts and did very physical tasks and labour, working a range of different jobs from his teens and early twenties too. Mum was in banking, fought cancer off like a warrior in her early forties and then opened her own catering business. They’ve both inspirations and have shown what hard work and determination can achieve. When I was at school I was unsure about college and university, I got myself into a bit of a state worrying and stressing about the next steps and future. I think that happens to a lot of teenagers though, the pressure of having a five-year plan, all ‘your ducks in a row’ ready to go. That’s without the other pressures from their peers, raging hormones, battles with body image, sex (having it or lack of) relationships (again trying to keep one or trying to be in one,) searching for a part time job, learning to drive and the rest! They calmed me down and got me to take just one step at a time. Not to think too far ahead, we went to open days, I talked to my sister more about college life and went from there. Not to sound smug or like a show off but now I have three A levels, 2 AS Levels, a foundation diploma in art and design and a Frist for my BA Hons Degree. Pretty proud of that (gives self a small pat on the back.)
My parents encouraged me then and still do now to be happy. Genuinely happy. Not ‘oh I’m fine’ plods along then cry behind closed doors, as I’ve done that. I had real low points at work, it made me stronger and more resilient, I learnt a lot about what not to do and what makes a toxic work environment, I know now more about the warning signs, little or large. I think back at the angry rants and late night tears I had, they would listen and offer advice and kind words, I know they wanted me to leave and be happy. I ended up having three months off and changed locations/teams which did the world of good. My final year at work I kept thinking about other avenues, other jobs, going back to university, learning more...just doing something different. I felt very stagnant where I was before I quit, ground hog day mode.
I love to learn. To challenge and push myself. I loved that feeling of being top of the class at school and in the ‘upper/top’ sets. Considering I was a little hesitant with college and university (oh the joys of teenage and hormonal angst and worry) I thrived when I was there. My strong work ethic comes from my parents, but also knowing that they will love and support me no matter what I decide to do.
My sister is a real fire cracker, she has a BA, MA and PGCE degree, super smart, kind with a heart of gold. I joke and call her a ‘proper adult’ as she has a house, mortgage, 2 dogs and a partner of 9 years (see proper grown up!) She loves to learn too, with all the degrees! She talks so passionately and would love to study a PHD as well. She’s always there for me at the end of the phone, we both talk in the same fast paced and loud way. We have big personalities and matching values and core of family, love and loyalty,
J-Lo is just amazing, I started watching her films and listening to her music back in primary school and have loved her ever since. She’s 51 and looks ABSolutley phenomenal (note at the emphasis on ABS.) I admire her and have a big crush, so it’s a mix really of admiration and looking up in a ‘oh wow’ mindset. She’s had a blossoming career or over 30 years, a triple threat. It’s great to see more women on the screen over the age in forty in different roles – not simply Mum, Grandmother or witch. I love Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman, Reese Witherspoon, Margot Robbie, Viola Davies, Phoebe Waller-Bridge – the list can go on and on, that’s just for a handful from film and tv.
Big love for Ellie Goulding, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Rihanna and Taylor Swift. All unique and brilliant in their own way, song writers and performers.
I have some nostalgia (of course) as their early albums remind me of my teen years, then later albums are gym and night out songs. I just saw online today that Ellie Goulding is releasing a fitness, lifestyle book later on this year. That’ll be on the Christmas list. Taylor Swifts documentary from 2020 was really eye-opening showing how she has grown up over the years but felt she was ‘frozen in time’ particularly with the press and production companies. Katy Perry has just had her first baby at 36 after six albums, four massive tours, fragrance releases, stints on American Idol along with a concert movie. It’s refreshing to see women having children later and below they have all achieved so much, only listing a handful of factors below - that’s without philanthropy, charity work, political activism along with other endorsements and partnerships. All four women below are successful, hardworking women without children.
Ellie – 34 – four albums, four tours and onto more ventures.
Gaga (Stefani) 34 – six albums, six tours, Vegas residency, Academy, BAFTA, Golden Globes.
Rihanna - 32 – eight albums, seven tours, Grammy awards, acting credits and a lingerie and make up line.
Taylor – 31 – nine albums, five tours, Grammy and Emmy awards,
They’re all up to more projects and exploring new avenues in the thirties, doing things for them! It’s what I like to see and makes me think of age as less of a number. I feel more excited now at 26 knowing I’m starting something new with my degree and the move. I don’t think about marriage or children really, I see a lot of that happening on my social media and it’s nice if that’s what is right for that person but not yet for me. I’ve still got so much I want to do!
Oh Gloria Steinem! As I’ve been reading her books and watch her live talk with the British Library recently! What a career and journey she has had over the past sixty years and still going!
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I Finally Got Batman: The Enemy Within, Episode 4 And Here Are My Thoughts
Spoilers under the cut!
Insufficient amounts of Batcat. I opted for Bruce to take the fall for Selina and get his ass frozen, which you’d think would be a pretty big deal. But it was kind of glossed over in this instalment. Hopefully, we will get more of Selina in the next episode.
The Joker finally becomes a fucking villain! Yes, I chose to make him a villain. Why? Because I hate Telltale’s version of Joker. He’s creepy, servile, unfunny and hogs screen time. The fact that I get to punch his face in, repeatedly, in the next episode makes the last three dealing with this asshole all the more worth it.
Tiffany! Tiffany is awesome; I just wish we didn’t have to lose Lucius to get her. I like the way she looks out for Alfred when he’s down and her eagerness to help Bruce. Possible foreshadowing for a future role as Batgirl? I’d be annoyed if we don’t get Barbara, but the way it is now Tiffany has the ground work for the role. It could work.
I was going to say that if they kill Alfred we riot, but I can’t riot due to health issues and Telltale offices are probably way the fuck in the US somewhere. So lets not do that. Instead we will write angry e-mails!
Batman doesn’t kill. Goddamn right he doesn’t, and he doesn’t use guns either. I wish though that you could say something reassuring to Tiffany after that scene; her heart is in the right place and she’s got the enthusiasm and I don’t want her to think Bruce is being dismissive. Yes I made her reflective, but I don’t want to lose her support either.
Agent Iman Avesta is the only good person in the entire Agency and though I’m a dedicated Batcat shipper I also kind of ship her and Bruce? One True Threesome, the solution to all shipping problems.
Amand “The Wall” Waller! Not fat enough, but at least she isn’t the ‘evil bitch for the sake of being an evil bitch’ that she is in the DCEU. Obviously I made her and Batman enemies because, you know, she’s the director of black ops agency that tortures its prisoners, violates all known civil rights for fun, and is generally a pain in the ass, but still. It’s nice to have The Wall back.
Still not sure what I think about Telltale’s Harley. On the one hand, it’s nice to hear her proper New York accent again. On the other hand, I don’t much care for her costume (would it kill modern artists to put a character named after a harlequin in an actual fucking harlequin outfit?), or the fact that she’s picked a lot of the traits I hate in the Joker. But I do like her backstory with her dad.
Don’t much care for Mr. Freeze’s new gimmick or design (Mike Mignola’s design from B:TAS for the win) but as that’s the only thing changed about him I still liked Freeze. Naturally I chose to save him; Batman doesn’t kill, even by inaction.
Shoulda gone with the sticky bomb for Bane.
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#batman#batman the telltale series#batman the enemy within#batman the telltale series spoilers#batman the enemy within spoilers
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We're blasting into the new year and not letting up. (at Hog Waller Mud Bog - The Real Deal)
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Eclipso #3
This looks like my "friend" Bobby Henline.
I put the word friend in quotation marks in the above caption because now that he's a Trump supporter and he believes in God, he's not really the same guy I grew up with. I still wouldn't mind calling him friend (even with the Trump supporting) except, being a God-loving Trump supporter, he now treats me and everything I say as if I'm just another libtard. He always referred to me as the smartest guy he knew but suddenly I'm deluded by the mainstream media and too naive to understand that I should be a racist gun owner. Once when he was twelve or so, he saw a woman on the bus reading The Bible. So he sat behind her muttering "Satan Satan Satan." Even at the time, I thought that was pretty immature. Just a few years ago on Facebook, he responded to something I said with "Guns guns guns!" I reminded him about the Satan thing and how he apparently hasn't matured a bit in his debate tactics. He misunderstood my point, thinking that I was wondering why he didn't go around chanting "Satan Satan Satan" anymore, and told me, "I've grown since then." By "grown," I guess he means "suffered severe PTSD and survivor's guilt from the roadside bomb that took the lives of four other guys and now I have to believe in utter nonsense or their deaths would be meaningless." He seems to believe that more war makes the deaths of his comrades meaningful when actually their lives would have more meaning if he accepted that they died for no reason. Use their deaths to prevent the deaths of more young men by pointing out they didn't need to die and then — and only then — you give their lives meaning! Sure, it's seemingly paradoxical but sending more men to die because you want the deaths of some people you knew to be meaningful is fucking selfish bullshit.
I don't know that the creators of this comic book know how the moon works.
The Creeper begins this issue complaining about jungle drums but not giving a shit that the moon has been full for four months straight. Now I sound like an asshole on Twitter screaming that people are too busy caring about one terrible moment of our finite existence that isn't the terrible moment of our finite existence that the asshole thinks they should be caring about. But I'm not! I don't care what The Creeper is upset about. I just want The Creeper to simply fucking notice how long the moon has been full. Then he can go back to speaking gibberish (both as The Creeper and as Jack Ryder, news reporter).
My local news did a segment on the large boulder/small boulder Tweet last night and if I had owned a gun, I swear to God I'd need a new television set this morning. No I wouldn't because after shooting my television, I would have turned the gun on myself.
When I "joke" about suicide, they're not jokes. I really don't fucking care anymore about dying. Not that I'd ever take myself out. But if something were to kill me at this point and I had one moment to type one more Tweet, it would be that shrugging whatever emoticon that uses the Katakana for tsu. Mostly I'd choose to make that Tweet before I died because it would take a long time for me to figure out how to type it. Death would be standing over my shoulder saying, "Come on already. Just Google the fucking thing and copy and paste it. I've got a bloody schedule here! Literally!" Then we'd high five and I'd ask him one more time if maybe I could suck his dick for a few more years.
Ha ha ha! "It's funny because it's two guys going on a date," types the guy who just made a dick sucking joke.
To be fair, the worst part about my joke wasn't that it relied on homosexual sex. The worst part was that I assumed Death was male. But I had to! If I picture Death as female then I picture DC's version of Death. And if I picture me giving oral to DC's version of Death then I have to take a break to masturbate.
I'll be right back.
I get that my "comedy" seems crude and not very subtle. But that's because audiences only have the ability to read the surface layer of anything. They read the words and refuse to go any further. So my sucking Death's dick joke becomes simply a joke that relies on laughing at a man willing to perform a homosexual act. But what the joke is really about is how I just said I don't care about dying and yet I'm desperately willing to suck some bony supernatural hog to extend my life for a few more measly painful years. I suppose I could have come up with a less vulgar and demeaning punchline but we all understand that "sucking dick" is the last negotiating tactic to strike a deal that's almost certainly not going to happen. It's never the go-to! Which seems odd because I'd accept that offer immediately over a lot of other offers when negotiating! If I were selling a house and somebody offered me 400,000 dick sucks instead of 400,000 dollars, I don't know. I might take that offer!
By the way, I am not selling a house, you horny, shelter-lacking perverts.
Bruce Gordon and his friend go to New York to try to recruit the Justice League in their fight against Eclipso.
Most wars are started because some guy doesn't want to be thought of as a pathetic little man. Guy is a hero!
Guy Gardner is being the responsible one in the above scan, if a little high-strung. Obviously the Justice League isn't going to invade a sovereign country just because somebody who isn't Madame Xanadu told them to. Especially the guy that, in the past, was inextricably linked to Eclipso and his evil acts! I bet this scene is just the tail end of the conversation. Guy was almost certainly peaceful and compassionate while listening to Bruce's complaints. But Bruce probably kept pushing and pushing! "You have to believe my gut instinct and my hunch! I just know Eclipso has taken over Parador! You must invade!" And Guy, the avatar of patience, finally snapped. Poor Guy! He's always being treated so horrifically.
Bruce and his friend (I have no fucking idea who she is. I suppose I should know but I didn't reread The Darkness Within annual event before rereading this) decide to approach Sarge Steel for help. He runs Checkmate or the Suicide Squad or the DEO or something.
Why is Bruce so terrified about a disruption in cocaine distribution? Isn't Eclipso less of a menace as a drug lord than a vengeance god?
Sarge Steel directs Bruce and Mona (her name is Mona! I still don't know who she is) to Amanda Waller. She operates the arm of the government that infiltrates and disrupts other countries for the benefit of the United States. No, not the CIA. The Suicide Squad!
Meanwhile, Eclipso is busying cutting the fingers off of Mona's father's hands.
Either Simon Bennet has eleven fingers or one of those digits is his penis.
Amanda Waller offers to help Bruce, Mona, and the Creeper sneak into Parador. But that's her only involvement. To help them sneak in through a series of caves, she recruits Cave Carson to be their guide. Did Cave Carson seem expendable in 1993? I hope so because his death is the only thing making me excited for the next issue!
Eclipso #3 Rating: C+. At least something other than monologues and soliloquies happened this issue, like Simon getting his fingers and dick chopped off. Plus this issue had so many guest stars: Sarge Steel, Amanda Waller, Guy Gardner, and Cave Carson! That's a lot of cameos for a buck twenty-five! Thank God for DC screwing creators out of "created by" royalties! Can you imagine how much this comic would cost if DC felt obliged to pay France Herron and Bruno Premiani for using Cave Carson, let alone Bob Haney and Lee Elias for Eclipso, Gil Kane and John Broome for Guy Gardner, John Ostrander, Len Wein, and John Byrne for Amanda Waller, and Steve Ditko, Pat Masuli, and Joe Gill for Sarge Steel?!
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round up // OCTOBER 19
Let me confess the embarrassing reason I learned I love October this month: I get to use the word “spooky.” Sure, I’m here for the the Halloween candy and costumes, the changing fall leaves, and all the pumpkin treats that appear about this time, but all of those (including a good costume party) can be found the other 11 months of the year. What you can’t find any other month of the year? A reason to call something “spook-tacular.”
I’m not much of a horror fan, but there is something about watching a spooOOOooky story with zombies, aliens, or ghosts that just feels right this month. You can find picks with all of those below, plus essays and podcasts and music (oh my!) that were new to me this month. And yes, I can confirm: They are all spook-tacular.
October Crowd-Pleasers
Alien (1979) on the Big Screen
It holds up on the big screen, and it’s still tense upon second viewing. I much enjoyed the shrieks of the woman behind me who clearly had not seen it before.
Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)
I reviewed this sequel for ZekeFilm, and bottom line: it’s the funniest movie I’ve watched this year.
Crowd: 10/10 // Critic: 7.5
RealSimple Essays About the Power of Art
Both of these sweet essays in RealSimple focus on the power of art to shape our relationships and the next generation:
“How My Daughter and I Connect Over Our Favorite Pastime” by Elizabeth McCracken
“How One Mother Used a Little Free Library to Teach Her Daughter Empathy” by Melissa Hart
Ocean’s Thirteen (2007)
Movie stars, people. Don’t underestimate the power they have to make a hackneyed story full of personality.
Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10
SNL Highlights
All three hosts on SNL this month were solid. These were the skits that made me laugh the hardest:
Phoebe Waller-Bridge in “The War in Words: William and Lydia”
David Harbour in “Father-Son Podcasting Microphone” and “Grouch (Joker Parody)”
Chance the Rapper in “Judge Barry” and “E-Sports Reporter”
Beetlejuice (1988)
I’ve never ranked most of Tim Burton’s work high on my need-to-watch list, but the spirit of Halloween got the better of me this time. I still don’t care for some of how it handled the occult, but I laughed all the way through this creative afterlife fable with a stacked ‘80s cast. What a gem, that Winona Ryder.
Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10
October Critic Picks
Ad Astra (2019)
Say hey to my front-runner for best movie of 2019. I’m a sucker for a space movies, and this decade has turned out a strong bunch. If you liked Gravity, Intersteller, or Arrival, you’ll like this new Brad Pitt space adventure that still finds perspective all its own.
Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 10/10
The Happiness Lab
I’m still digging into this podcast about the science of happiness, but so far I’m fascinated by how our minds interpret the worlds around us. If Yale prof Dr. Laurie Santos thinks even I can learn from Olympians like Michelle Kwan, this podcast must have the potential to work miracles.
Reply All episode #149 Feral Hogs
This episode is a bizarre microcosm of our culture’s gun control debate. Who knew wild pigs could contribute to a healthy conversation on that?
Calico by Brooke White
Brooke White describes her music as “smack dab in the middle of Nashville and Laurel Canyon,” and this album captures all the whimsy and warmth that comes with that mood.
JESUS IS KING by Kanye West
If more Christian music were this innovative, I would listen to more Christian music.
Also in October...
On SO IT’S A SHOW?, Kyla and set sail on The Love Boat and revisited one of our listener-favorite, Halloween-ready episodes about Misery.
Until December (when Christmas season will finally be upon us!), find out what movies I’m watching (and sometimes briefly reviewing) on Letterboxd. Plus, you can find more pieces at ZekeFilm.
Photo credits: RealSimple, SNL, The Happiness Lab, Reply All, Brooke White, Kanye West. All others IMDB.com.
#Alien#Zombieland: Double Tap#Zombieland#Ocean's Thirteen#Saturday Night Live#SNL#Phoebe Waller-Bridge#Chance the Rapper#David Harbour#Beetlejuice#Ad Astra#The Happiness Lab#Reply All#Brooke White#Calico#Brooke White Calico#Kanye West#Kanye West Jesus Is King#Jesus Is King#Tim Burton#Winona Ryder#Gravity#Intersteller#Arrival#Dr. Laurie Santos#Michelle Kwan#Laurel Canyon
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