so i doubt it will do anything, and most of my audience is non german, BUT

my little brothers bike got stolen today, it was expensive (for us) and its his only vehicle, he needs it to get around as he has trouble walking for longer distances

i doubt we will see it again as it was clearly done by "professional" thieves, in broad daylight and the lock literally sawn through with a motorized saw; its a rather unusual model though, so if me sharing this raises the chances of getting it back even a tiny bit its worth doing

here a screenshot of his tweet about it with a photo

obnoxious songs they blast while picking you up | pt. 1

Ft. Daichi, Sugawara, Tanaka, Hinata, Kuroo, Yaku, Oikawa, Matsukawa, Hanamaki, Daisho

Warnings: Language, dorky boys, some songs are 18+ lmao sorry kids

A/n: I don’t really know where this idea came from. I was just vibing and listening to music and had the epiphany that I listen to obnoxious shit and decided to put some of them into writing and then it turned into this lol.  I feel like half the boys in this show are petty as fuck and would do this just because of a small fight.  This is also published to Ao3 and there will be a part 2!

Daichi – Bad Boys from COPS

This fucker probably pulls up to your job in a police car, windows rolled down, and blasts this song. Everyone in the general vicinity is just staring.  You are too, but you’re staying in place because your husband is the worst human on earth.

He points at you and motions for you to get in the car, smirking.

You can’t even see his eyes. He’s wearing the classic cop aviators.

Honestly, fuck this guy.

You’re head is lowered as you shamble toward the car, face red, before getting in the passenger seat.

“I’m never asking you to pick me up again, Daichi.”

“Awe, you love it, babe. Plus you’re riding in style.”

This isn’t what you’d call style, especially when he blasting this particular song.

He even has the audacity to turn on the sirens and the lights as he drives away from your workplace.

You’ll have your revenge. . .

Sugawara – Can-Can by Offenbach

You think the person pulling up in a car that’s blasting Can-Can is a genius while also being extremely annoying, until you realize that’s your genius but annoying ass husband.

Sugawara rolls down the window and smirks at you. He’s trying to look cool, doing the whole single-hand on the steering wheel and one arm out the window thing.

And really, he would look cool if he wasn’t playing Can-Can.

“Twerk for me babe.”

You pull the hood of your jacket up and awkwardly walk to the car.

Your face is bright red, but let’s be real, the second you are both in the car together you’re headbutting your asses off to Can-Can because it’s an amazing song.

Fuck y’all if you disagree.

(Jk I love you anyway)

Yeah, he blasts Can-Can a lot at home just because it's amazing.

Usually he does it before cleaning the house because it's very motivating.

Tanaka – Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes

First off, this is the best song that’s ever been created in the history of music.

You can fight me on that.

Anyway-

Tanaka pulls up in your guys’ mini van because it just had the oil changed, and as payback for making him drive a mini van, he thinks he’ll be a little cooler if he just blasts the most badass song ever.

It’s really not. . .

Everyone is staring at Tanaka because for some reason your mini van has hella bass so it’s just vibrating everything in the general vicinity.

You stare at him, smiling, but internally raging. Your husband stares back, smirking widely and very mischievously.

He even dares to lean over the passenger seat and open the door for you.

“C’mon, baby. Get in and be cool with me.”

Hinata – Fur Elise by Beethoven (Klutch Dubstep Remix)

He’s not even trying to be embarrassing. He’s just legitimately vibing with this song when he picks you up.

He probably just got out of volleyball practice, too, so he’s in a tanktop and shorts, sunglasses on his head, and looks like he’s on top of the world as he waits for you to come over to where he’s pulled up and he’s literally headbanging to the song.

It takes you like a whole minute before you realize that’s literally your husband.

You’re like *surprised pikachu face*.

Just let him vibe. . . Don’t ruin his vibe. . .

You just go to the car and get in the passenger seat quietly. He doesn’t even notice because he’s vibing so hard.  He’s doing hand movements and everything, as if he’s the one playing the piano.

When the song ends and he sees you sitting there, his face just lights up.

“Hey, baby! How was work?”

You smile and go on to tell him about your day. You don’t bother to tell him that your entire workplace just witnessed him aggressively headbanging to Fur Elise.

Kuroo – WAP by Cardi B feat. Megan Thee Stallion (but the Rihanna S&M mashup)

You and your husband had a fight earlier that morning. It was over basically nothing (it was about you not making him breakfast because you woke up late -.- This petty fucker—), and you did not apologize to him.

Never let a fight linger with Kuroo’s petty ass.

You watch your husband’s car pull up to the curb, where you’re waiting for him. The music could literally be heard from three blocks away.

Kuroo rolls down the window, smirking, and turns to you.

Deadass, this fucker is shirtless, and wearing aviator sunglasses that he casually pulls down to look at you from over the rim.  His hair is even slicked back and he looks hot.

His arm is dangling over the steering wheel and the song is just blasting.

“Hey, kitten~”

Your face is absolutely burning. Everyone in the general vicinity is staring at this shirtless, attractive motherfucker who you unfortunately chose to marry.

“I’m not making you breakfast for a week, Kuroo.”

You don’t even call him by his first name even though you literally have the same last name as him.

“What!? >:(“

This is probably how he picks you up everyday until you make him breakfast.

Yaku – S my D by Blood on the Dancefloor

This is another case of the man being a petty bitch because of a minor fight.

You may or may not have called your husband short earlier this morning, and you both laughed it off after he scolded you for calling him short. You genuinely thought it was over with until. . .

. . . he’s picking you up for work.

You didn’t even know this song existed until this exact moment, but the lyrics are so vulgar.

Yaku has all the windows down and is screaming this song as it blasts from the speakers.

You deadass just turn around and pretend you don’t know him.

You’re literally five seconds away from just walking home, honestly.

“Isn’t that your husband, Yaku-chan?” one of your coworkers asks.

You glance at the car where your husband is still jamming.

“Hm, nope. Don’t know that guy.  What a weirdo.”

Yeah, everyone knows you’re married to that lunatic but no one says anything.

Oikawa – I’m a Barbie Girl by Aqua

Why wouldn’t he? This fucker probably thinks he’s a living Ken doll.

Jk, but seriously.

You guys had a fight a whole week ago about his haircut. All you said was that he should cut it a little because it was growing into his eyes and he gasps like you’ve just murdered his whole family.

Yeah, he’s dramatic.

So, the next time you ask him to pick you up from work? Well, he’s obviously playing this song and he’s actually jamming to it.

He’s wearing sunglasses and staring at you like he’s staring into your soul.

He only sings the Ken parts and points at you at the Barbie parts like he expects you to actually sing back.

You’re so embarrassed because everyone is staring.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, knows the obvious implications of the song so all the older people around are mildly horrified.

“C’mon, Barbie. Let’s go home,” Oikawa says, winking.

You’ve never wanted to murder your husband as bad as you do right now.

Matsukawa – Skibidi by Little Big

First off, go watch the music video if you haven’t.

. . is this even a surprise?

Your husband is chaotic and he probably forced you to learn the dance with him. You both will randomly turn it on at inopportune moments and fully expect the other person to start the dance (someone do this with me).

You shouldn’t be surprised when your husband pulls up, looking innocent, before beginning to blare the song with all the windows rolled down.

Suddenly he looks like a maniac with the way he’s grinning.

Your jaw drops to the ground and you just stand there for a moment in shock.

Your face is bright red but you’re smiling stubbornly as you begin the horrific dance.

Matsukawa laughs. He literally gets out of the car and starts dancing with you like an idiot.

Everyone is watching in awe and honestly they should be jealous that you guys have so much fun.

Best husband.

Hanamaki – I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers

This is probably a common occurrence honestly. This bitch is chaotic as shit so if you think he wasn’t going to be harassing you every time he picks you up then you’re wrong.

At this point it’s just a challenge to see how far he can go.

Pulls up blaring this song and rolls down the window revealing him to be wearing a beach-themed button up (ya know, the classic dad ones) and he’s smirking like a fucking maniac.

Points at you just before the chorus.

You’re smiling like an idiot because he’s just so stupid and lovable.

“I WOULD WALK 500 MILES AND I WOULD WALK 500 MORE~!!”

He’s screaming so loud that you can’t believe his vocal chords haven’t snapped.

Maki starts doing the rope-pull thing and you play along and go to the car.

Yes, you guys sit in the parking lot screaming that song together until it ends.

Honestly, everyone at your workplace just thinks your husband is the coolest guy ever.

Daisho – Daddy by PSY

Probably thought he was the funniest guy on the face of the Earth when he pulled up to your job blaring this song. He looks like a real cool guy, too.

Sunglasses, short-sleeved shirt to show off muscular biceps, slicked hair.

Ya man has the whole shebang.

You just stare at him, jaw dropped when Daisho turns to you with a smirk. He’s nudges his sunglasses down a little to look at you over the rim.

“Hey, babe,” he greets, too casually for your liking.

The music is so loud that you barely even hear him.

His smirk only stretches wider when he sees your growing embarrassment.

“C’mon, you like my body, just admit it!” he calls.

You get into the car before he can keep talking. You quickly roll up your window but the other three are still down and you know in your heart that there’s no escaping your husband’s will to embarrass you.

“I’ll get payback.”

“Sure you will, babe.”

Put A Little Love On Me

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Words: 4.6k

Summary: He was always looking out for you, even since that night. It just took a particularly bad night at the club to realize it.

Pairing: S.Coups x Reader

T/w: mentions of alcohol, swearing

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A/n: It’s Seungcheol day!!! This was originally supposed to be finished up and posted back in July but life got in the way. I hope Seungcheol has a good birthday and knows how much we really appreciate how great of a leader he really is. He deserves all the love ;u;

     The weekend scenes were starting to blend together into a mirage of too loud music, too many flashing lights, and too many bodies of people. It was a Friday, again. The weeks seem to fly by until Friday night, and in those few precious hours out, time seems to go by too fast while also being too slow. You can remember ordering some fancy drink to start the night, and you remember the stranger next to you saying the next round of drinks were on him. Somewhere in this mess, one round became two, and like a moment of realization you were out on the dance floor, lost in your own world. You didn’t care though, you knew all eyes were on you at this moment. This was your show, and you were the star every weekend.

     You didn’t know who you were performing for, you could put on the air of self-confidence and say you were doing this for yourself because you knew how good you looked and you knew you could probably have anyone you wanted tonight to bring home. However, there was a seed of thought being planted in your mind every time you partied the Friday night away. Could this be a show to prove that you weren’t hurt by him anymore? That you moved on from the shambles of what you could barely call a relationship? In the heat of the moment, none of those thoughts crossed your mind. 

     You broke out of your trance when you felt something cold dribble down your left shoulder. You could feel the sticky-sugary liquid slowly travel down your arm and onto your fingertips, the sensation made your skin crawl in the worst way. You whipped your head around trying to find who could have spilled the drink, but there were too many bodies pressed against each other making it nearly impossible to see who did or did not have a drink. Taking a breath, you maneuvered through the sea of people trying to get to the bathroom. You somehow managed to get to your destination without too much trouble, though walking took more concentration than it really should have. You made your way over to the sinks and grabbed a paper towel. You looked at yourself in the mirror, and you could finally see the stain along your arm. 

     “What the hell kind of drink could this have been?” You mumbled to yourself, seeing how it left a long purple streak down your arm. You managed to wipe off the streak, but you could still feel the stain it left behind, the stickiness making itself known with every movement of your arm. “Maybe this is just a sign that I should go home.. fuck. Whoever that asshole was should have at least apologized. If this happens again I swear this heel is going straight-” Your rant was interrupted by a group of girls who definitely were not aware of where they were at the current moment. The blinding fluorescent lights, the loud bass from the music outside, and the shrill cry of the girls became too much. It felt like all your senses were being attacked yet you couldn’t feel anything. You willed yourself to take a step, with each step feeling like you were chained to bricks. You thought you heard one of the girls cry “oh my god is she ok?” before you were met with the cold tile of the bathroom floor. 

      Pain shot through your right ankle and your head began to spin. Taking in your surroundings, you could see the group of girls beginning to crowd around you. You became overwhelmed by the lights and the scent of overpowering perfume. 

     “Should we like, get the bartender?”

     “Oh my god no! He’s a bartender, what good can a bartender do?”

     “Well, I dunno! I haven’t had some chick drop to the floor before!”

     “You can’t just call her some chick! She’s literally right in front of us!”

     “Well you guys are the ones talking like she’s not in front of us. Maybe I should call a… what’s it called again? The truck! The thing with the lights!! Weeoo weeoo!”

     “Oh my god you’re literally so dumb! It’s called an ambulance!”

     “Yeah!! That!! Should we call for one of those?”

     “Don’t call an ambulance, please. I’ll be ok.” You croaked out, beginning to stand. You knew that you probably should have just waited and asked for help. You knew that what you’re doing in the first place is irrational and probably stupid on your part. Coming out alone on the weekend was never a good idea, yet you did it anyway. Your friends had warned you to just stay home for once, a night in was never a bad idea. Of course, you didn’t listen. You craved the temporary escape from reality, where time was a fleeting illusion. This world, you were the star and he didn’t matter. Your past doesn’t matter; the petty arguments, the words that left incurable wounds in your heart, the actions that can’t be undone. It’s all in the past, and you need to accept the past. But instead of accepting, you only seemed to be running. 

     Little things reminded you of him everywhere you went. Little, insignificant details that really shouldn’t be a reminder but you couldn’t help seek them out. His favorite color on you was yellow, so you stopped wearing yellow. He always stopped by a coffee shop near your workplace in the mornings because he knew he would run into you there, you avoided that route entirely. He drank a certain kind of bottled water, you went out of your way to drink anything except that brand. He had told you, when things were still ok, that you would never be able to escape him. At the time, you had giggled thinking it was an endearing gesture, but now you couldn’t help but think that he had put a curse on you that day. 

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     It was a typical Friday night for Seungcheol: he had come home and relaxed for a while, began watching Netflix, and then the itching started. It wasn’t a physical itch, but an intuition of sorts that something was wrong, or something bad was going to happen eventually. He checked the time on his phone: 10:32. I wonder.. Ugh there really is no escaping you huh? Seungcheol chuckled to himself, making his way off the couch to get dressed up for the night ahead of him. Dressing up on a Friday night to head out and socialize wasn’t an unordinary occasion. However, no matter how nice he looked or how much he indulged in the flirtatious games of strangers, he always left just as he arrived. Not a hair out of place, not a button undone, no trace of alcohol to be found. He was a man of routine, and as such he always found himself at the same place every Friday. Seungcheol was very similar to you in that aspect, he did not like change. If things were fine the way they were, why fix it? You both were stubborn and were blindsighted to the small details around you. Small details, however, can build up. As Seungcheol put on the jacket that he wore that night, he was reminded of what truly happens when the small things get ignored for too long.

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A few months ago

     Seungcheol knew he messed up, but he knew that you were in the wrong too. However, you were both too stubborn to admit it. Tonight was supposed to be a date night, a rare event as of late. Seungcheol had gotten the notification on his calendar, but absentmindedly disregarded it while helping Jihoon in his studio. You also had a reminder go off, but your boss had you stay late at work. You could have gotten home in a timely manner for dinner, but one of your friends at work had also stayed late. You both had gotten caught up in a conversation and before you knew it, you both made your way to a fast food place for dinner to catch up. 

     Seuncheol had tried to rush home as soon as he could, not caring if some work was left to be completed tomorrow. When he arrived, you were at the kitchen table eating the remnants of whatever food you hadn’t finished at the restaurant. 

     “What the hell is this y/n?” He tossed his jacket onto the chair across from you. “Tonight was supposed to be a night for us two, why are you eating now? If you got hungry and couldn’t have waited, you could’ve at least texted me.”

     “Oh shit.. I completely forgot. I’m sorry Cheol, maybe next week?” You finished off your fries and put everything in the bag, making your way to the trash. Seungcheol grabbed your arm as you passed. 

     “No, we can’t do next week. Remember how busy I’m gonna be? And you even told me that you’re going on a business trip with your boss and a few coworkers to a conference next weekend. Did that suddenly change?” His voice began to rise. “Look I feel terrible for not being able to make it tonight but you’re acting like it’s no big deal. Don’t you care at all? Cause right now it seems like it’s some small thing that can be made up!” His grip on your arm began to tighten. The fast food bag dropped to the ground, long forgotten. 

     “Cheol your grip- please let go.”

     “We have to talk now or we’re never going to talk! I haven’t heard from you in days and we fucking live together y/n!” You could feel tears brimming, but you couldn’t tell if it was his tone, his grip, or both. 

     “Ok well communication’s a two-way street, isn’t it?” You slapped his hand with your free hand, effectively freeing you from his hold. “And don’t grab onto me like I’m some inanimate object, that fucking hurt! You act like I’m the problem when it’s you! I tried to reach out but I was always met with silence or some stupid two-word answer. This date night that we both forgot about? It was my idea because I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks. And guess what? I expected this to happen! Sure I got dinner but can I be the one to blame? You’re the one leaving me behind and coming back when you feel like it! I’m done being… whatever this is!” You screamed, tears falling freely. 

     “Oh don’t act like I’m the bad guy here. You’re not so saintly either when it comes to talking. I try to talk to you when I’m free but you’re always out with your friends-”

     “Because you’re not there for me!”

     “Let me finish. You got to talk without interruptions so now it’s my turn.” You huffed, crossing your arms. “Don’t act like that’s so hard to do. Or is it? Cause it seems like I can never get a word in these days! You knew I’ve been busy, and you knew I would be with Jihoon today so obviously things were going to go late. But honestly, at this point it seems like you would rather have me at work so you have an excuse to go out with your friends. Which, by the way, you never even update me on where you are so for all I know you could be hurt and I wouldn’t know-”

     “Of course you would know!”

     “How do you know that?” he shouted. “Do your friends even know my number? Hell, I don’t even know your friends! For all I know, you could be seeing someone behind my back and I wouldn’t even know! Maybe this ‘business conference’ is just a cover-up for some fancy trip between you and your boss, huh?”  You have never seen him so angry before, and the silence was the heaviest force you have ever felt.  Wiping your tears, you bit the inside of your cheek and let out a long sigh. 

     “I don’t even know what to say Cheol…” You whispered. “I thought you knew me better but I guess time apart can be a bitch. I won’t even question where those thoughts came from.” You chuckled bitterly and began to walk away.

     “Wait y/n no, that’s not what I meant-”

     “Clearly, Seungcheol, it is or else you wouldn’t have said it. When people are angry they say how they really feel. Guess I know now that my boyfriend thinks I’m some cheating whore or something.” You could feel yourself beginning to cry again. It didn’t help when he began to follow you, calling your name. You both ended up in your shared bedroom, you sitting down on the bed. He laid down and wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. He secured you firmly into his hold, and you buried your face into his chest, letting out all the sobs that had been building up for months. Every insult you had wanted to call him came out in whimpers as your body shook from how hard you cried. You could feel Seungcheol begin to run his fingers through your hair, trying to calm you down in some way.  The two of you laid in bed for what seemed like hours, the tension still thick. Finally, he croaked out something you couldn’t hear. 

      “What was that?” you mumbled into his chest.

     “This isn’t us. This isn’t our relationship”

     “I don’t think I understand, Cheol.” You looked up at him. He let out a deep breath and sat up, you following suit. He gently cupped your cheeks and began wiping away the stray tears with his thumbs. 

     “Y/n, we’re not who we used to be. We’re not some love-struck couple stuck in our honeymoon phase. We’re not happy.” He gently kissed your forehead. “I think we need to end this here y/n. I hate seeing you hurt, and knowing I’m the one who caused you that pain.”

     “No, I understand. I feel the same way actually.” You moved his hands from your cheeks and held them. “I think we were both too scared to admit it. I mean, we were each other’s first loves, right? We didn’t want to lose something that precious. Besides, neither of us like change all that much.” Seungcheol smiled sadly. “But, I think you’re right. Let’s end this here before we hurt each other even more. I’m sorry for not being as open as I should have. I’ve felt unhappy for so long that I’ve tried to fill that void with my friends. Obviously you saw through that, but I should have known better. You can read me like an open book.” You hugged him tightly as if holding him close would make him stay any longer. 

     You both spent your final night together wrapped up in each other’s arms, pretending everything was okay for just those moments. And in those moments where everything was peaceful, with you and the rest of the world asleep, he felt a spark of love he hadn’t felt since he first fell in love with you. 

     “I guess this is goodbye isn’t it, sweetheart?”

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     Seungcheol could feel the vibrations from the bass from outside the club. He probably shouldn’t be as familiar with this place as he is, but he justified his reasons for coming to himself. The breakup was just as hard for him as it was for you. However, he hadn’t expected you to be coping the same way as him: with copious amounts of alcohol. It was a complete coincidence that he saw you at this particular club a few weeks after he had moved out of the apartment. He had made sure to stay out of your way, not wanting to cause a possible scene. He couldn’t help but be curious as to who you were here with. When he had said he barely knew your friends, he wasn’t lying. As far as he could tell you were alone, lost in your own world on the dance floor. That first night, he stuck around a little longer than he planned, his eyes never leaving you. 

     He found himself in front of the same club the next week. He told himself that he had a really good time the previous week and wanted to come back, this time actually planning on getting drunk. However, his plans were ruined once he saw you at the bar. From where he was standing, he could see how uncomfortable you were. Seated next to you was a man who, in his opinion, was way too old to be in a club like this. He was sitting a little too close to his liking next to you, and you couldn’t seem to shake him off no matter how long you talked to him. Seungcheol took it upon himself to try and at least try and drive the man’s attention elsewhere. When the bartender came to take Seungcheol’s order, he asked the bartender to strike up a conversation with the older man. He may have also slid the bartender some extra tip money to make sure he actually got the man away from you. Ten minutes later, the bartender was still talking to the man and you had managed to slip away to the dance floor. 

     It became a habit for Seungcheol now, coming to the same club every Friday. Every time he would tell himself that it would be different, but each time he found himself looking out for you. If you seemed to have a little too much to drink that night, he would tip the bartender a little extra to make sure you got some water before going home for the night. If he noticed someone was making you uncomfortable at the bar, the bartender already knew to go and try to distract whoever was talking to you. Seuncheol was also there to see you walking out with whichever stranger you deemed fit to spend the night with. Is this really how they’re choosing to move on? He had asked himself on more than one occasion. He knew that you both had further discussed the end of the relationship, and had ended it on mutual terms. However, he couldn’t help but feel a little mad at himself every time he saw you leave with someone new. What did these people have that he didn’t? What weren’t you telling him while you two were still together?

     As time moved on and the weeks passed by, he slowly felt himself becoming comfortable with this routine. If he knew you were safe, he was happy. Jihoon had called him a creep multiple times for his behavior, and Seungcheol would retort right away “just because we’re not in love doesn’t mean I don’t still love them.” With this new routine, Seuncheol could feel himself slowly moving on from the past. Sure, it still stung, but now he finds comfort in the fact that for at least one night he knows you’ll be okay. Tonight, however, felt different. When he felt like something bad was going to happen, nine times out of ten something bad almost did happen. There have been multiple times where he’s had to save you from going home with someone who definitely had malicious intentions. He was hoping that tonight would not be one of those nights as he kept his eyes on you on the dance floor. Before he could stop it, he watched as someone accidentally spilled their drink on your arm. 

     “What the hell is wrong with people?” He muttered, making his way down the bar closer to the bathrooms, making sure you arrived safely. As time passed, he grew more and more worried. No one had left the bathroom you entered since he saw a group of girls go inside. Had he had some liquid courage coursing through his veins, he would have just barged into the bathroom by himself. Before he was about to ask the bartender if there was something he could possibly do, god knows the bartender knows him by now,  he saw the bathroom door swing open from the corner of his eye. He turned towards your direction, and he saw you shuffle across to the bar with a hand on your head and the gaggle of girls stumble behind you. He didn’t care at this point if you saw him, he couldn’t leave knowing something was wrong. Before you could catch the bartender’s attention, Cheol had called them over. 

      “Hey I know you’re probably tired of seeing my ass hanging around here every Friday night without even ordering anything, totally understandable. I need you to do a favor… again. That girl I’m always here for? I think something’s wrong. Give her a bag of ice for her head will you? And maybe call an ambulance if it seems bad enough?” He slid the bartender a few bills and made his way to the club’s entrance, texting Jihoon to come pick him up. Before exiting he took one last look towards the bar, and he saw you sitting on a stool with a paper towel and a bag of ice sitting gingerly on your head. With a sigh of relief, he made his way outside, the crisp air hitting his face. 

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

     After a long and tiring battle of insisting that you did not, in fact, need an ambulance and that your head is fine, with a little help standing up and getting steady, you made your way out of the bathroom. Your head was pounding from the music, and you knew right away that you needed to sit down as your vision began to slightly blur. Somehow you ended up at a barstool safely, and waiting in front of you was a bag of ice and a paper towel. 

     “Excuse me, sir!” you called out, not knowing whether your hoarse voice would reach the bartender’s ears. Luckily enough, the bartender turned your direction and walked over. 

     “What can I do for you tonight, miss?”

     “Uhh this bag of ice was sitting here and I’m not sure if this was from someone previously sitting here or not.” You explained, carefully fiddling with the bad. The ice hadn’t melted yet so it couldn’t have been here long. Before you could question it any further, you heard the bartender let out a chuckle.

     “Ma’am that bag is definitely for you. Someone must be real worried about you, I’ll say that much.” You carefully put the bag of ice on top of where you hit your head. You flinched slightly at the sudden temperature difference between the cold ice cubes versus the hot and humid club. 

     “Someone knew what happened in the bathroom?”

     “What the hell happened in the bathroom? You know what, I don’t wanna know. You seem to be talking fine so you don’t need an ambulance.”

     “Ok wait how can you say I don’t need an ambulance but then not know what happened-”

     “Look”, the bartender looked you in the eyes, “I don’t know what happened. All I know is the same dude has been coming by my bar for a few weeks now every Friday night. He doesn’t buy anything though. He does, however, always seem to have his eye out for you. Not in the creepy way like I’ve seen in the past though.” You blinked a few times before fully comprehending what the bartender just told you. Someone was looking out for you? You didn’t know anyone who would do such a thing, since your friends didn’t always join you on weekends. Maybe you caught someone’s eye the first night you came here? You sighed, resting your open hand against your cheek. The bartender looked at your confused face and smiled to himself. “He just left when you were stumbling out here. You might be able to catch him, I know I would. He’s a handsome fella; captivating eyes, nice cheeks, pretty lips. He’s not my type, but maybe he’s yours?” The bartender began wiping out a few glasses, walking away. 

     “He definitely does…” you trailed off, a burst of realization hitting you. If it’s who I think it is I’m going to shit myself. No, it’s just some pretty guy looking out for you, stop this wishful thinking. You set down the bag of ice and wrapped the paper towel around it. “Thank you so much for the ice, and for looking out for me!” You called you, practically running towards the entrance of the club. 

     The outside air hit you harder than you expected, helping you sober up even more after having the ice on your head. You desperately looked left and right, looking for any sign of who could have been the person helping you. Your eyes caught sight of a familiar car slowing down, as if it was coming to pick someone up. That looks like Jihoon’s car if I’m remembering correctly. Granted, I only rode in it a handful of times. You looked at where the car was headed, and that’s when you caught sight of a very familiar person. 

     “No.. it can’t be..” you whispered to yourself. “Aw fuck it, what have I got to lose?” You walked a few steps towards him. With a deep breath, you called out as best as your voice would allow. “Seungcheol!” You felt something warm against your cheeks, and after quickly wiping whatever it was away, you realized you were crying. You sniffled and called out one last time. “Seungcheol!”

     He turned to look at you. You didn’t know what to expect, nothing had really changed about him since you last saw him except for his hair color. Your eyes met his, and you became just as mesmerized as you did in the past. You didn’t realize you were staring until you noticed him moving. Seungcheol slowly made his way over to you, shouting at you presumed whoever was driving the car that he would only take a minute. He stopped in front of you, and you looked up at him. Up close you could see the small details in his facial features that weren’t there previously. His eyes were still beautiful, but they weren’t as bright as you remembered. The lines under his eyes looked a little darker, and his lips were slightly chapped. You felt something warm being put around your shoulders. You looked down and it was his jacket that he was wearing previously. 

     “Cheol I-” You stuttered out as he gently grabbed your shoulders.

     “Hey, stay safe will you? Don’t worry me too much and get home alright.” He gently patted your head and began walking back to the car. You were well aware at this point of the tears freely falling down your cheeks. You couldn’t help but let out a sob as you saw him give you one last smile and a small wave as he got into the car. As the car began to drive off, you began wondering how long he had been looking out for you and why he never chose to approach you. You felt your phone vibrate from your pocket, and you pulled it out. You chuckled as you saw who the message was from. 

     “I’ll open it some day, Cheol. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but I will when I think we’re both ready” you mumbled to yourself, opening up your contacts to call your friend to come pick you up. Your friend picked up after two rings. “Hey, I know you told me not to but I went out again. Can you come get me? I.. I saw someone and I need to tell you about it.”

Jungle Park [Finale]

Chapter 23 - Chapter 24 [Finale]

➜ Words: 6.4k

➜ Genres: Fluff, Light Humour (?), Slice of Life, Workplace Romance!AU

➜ Summary: The equation is simple. Hoseok needs to hire someone. You need a job. Except like any actual equation, it’s not fucking simple at all! Not when you have to add the fact that he was forced to hire someone he doesn’t want in his office, he has little respect for your job in general, and oh yeah...once upon a time you might have loved each other.

➜ NOTES: This is it, y’all. Thank you for having joined me on such a long journey. I hope you enjoyed the entire series. Thank you for reading :’)

Cr.

Sometimes life can be so entirely mundane that you forget your surroundings. The routine falls into place, yesterday becoming today, tomorrow a reflection of all the other days until time blurs altogether. Your body goes on autopilot, mind operating somewhere else as your skin and bones carry forth. And that’s how sometimes, you snap awake again and wonder:   How the hell did I get here?   But such a moment doesn’t exist often for you anymore.   When it does, it’s made less from misery and boredom and more from contentment. These ordinary days are the ones you love and cherish the most. As mundane as it is, the normalcy that lacks pandemonium offers a peace of mind. You’re happy. And Jung Hoseok is by your side, always acting as the lovely chaos that has your heartbeat thundering, that keeps your mind preoccupied, that fills brighter shades of colour into your world.   You wouldn’t want it any other way.   “Where are you off to this evening?” you ask while closing your door, hands gripping on the steering wheel.   The young girl in the backseat smiles into the rear-view mirror, meeting your eyes. “The airport, please.”   Your hands move against the wheel and you pull away from the curb, merging onto the street. For the most part, you’ve enjoyed this job. The fair share of rude and self-entitled passengers exists, but also the interesting and friendly bunch too. There’s just something about being able to get a glimpse into people’s lives, especially since they’re people you wouldn’t normally meet or speak to. It makes you feel so small in this universe to know that everyone has a place they’re going to, that we’re all making our own journeys and heading to our destinations.   And today, this chapter of your life ends.   “Are you traveling somewhere? Business trip?”   The girl in the backseat blushes, cheeks nearly bursting. “Actually, I’m going to visit my boyfriend.”   “Really? That’s so nice!” You’ve witnessed couples reuniting at the airport many times before, leaping into each other’s arms before even getting a word in. It’s always such a sweet scene that imagining it has you melting in your seat.   The girl is in a dreamy state as well, looking out the window, sheepish and happy. “Yeah, I was transferred to a different branch at my job, so we’ve been in a long distance relationship for a while now. But today, my work here ended, so I’m gone for good. Finally going home.”   “I bet he misses you.”   Your passenger laughs, glancing at her phone, features illuminated by the white light of her screen. “He can’t stop texting me and he says he can’t sleep either. I haven’t even gotten on my flight yet, but I think he’s already at the airport waiting for me.”   “That is so adorable.” Sappy couples used to make you feel envious, but not anymore. As she says these things, you imagine a certain someone doing the exact same for you.   “He is,” she agrees, smiling to herself for a moment before looking up again. “Sorry, but do you know how much the fare will be?”   “Oh.” Your smile is still stuck on your face, unable to erase it. “Don’t worry about it. It’s going to be on me for tonight.”   “A-are you sure?”   “It’s not a problem. You’re actually my last passenger….ever.” A satisfied sigh slips through the seams of your lips. There’s something that tells you you’re going to look back and miss this feeling one day. You know you’ll drive again, but never with strangers, never not knowing who will enter the backseat, of not knowing where you’ll be going. “The lease for this taxi is up and I won’t be renewing. I’m actually just doing this one last shift for old time’s sakes.”   “Oh, well, congratulations!” She’s pleasantly surprised, eyes big and curious. “How long have you been driving for?”   “On and off for about two years.”   The girl hums. “What will you be doing now then?”   “I actually have a day job. I work as an HR manager at a law firm,” you tell her in a way as if you’re reminding yourself and declaring it to the world at the same time. A sense of pride flows through your body and she matches your smile. “And I love it.”   For a moment, you wonder what if it was your past-self sitting in the backseat right now. Would she have ever expected to be here? To have landed the career that she’s always wanted, to be with a person who she adores, to have become someone proud of who they are, and to never have to clean up another girl’s vomit off of leather, again?   Probably not.   //   “This is ridiculous!”   The man paces around, polished loafers pounding against the carpet as he storms around, arms crossed, trying to walk off his rage. He’s wrinkling his own blazer and stretching his dress pants, but the man behind the desk doesn’t make any comments. He’s too busy rubbing his temples with his thumbs, leaning back in his swivel chair.   “Taehyung…”   “Listen, Chim, my buddy, my pal.” The lawyer stops and comes to grip the back of the empty chair. “I get Sunyi and Yoongi are all lovey-dovey now that they’re together. Nothing against them. I’m happy for them. Trust me I am,” the blonde’s voice drops down into a whisper, “but I never wanted to watch them tongue-fucking each other. It’s not as hot as you would think. If anything, it made my wiener shrivel into my balls.”   Taehyung says it like he’s disappointed, as if his dreams have been crushed and all traces of Jimin’s professionalism shatters in front of his eyes. He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, trying to hold down his giggles. “Dude.”   “I dropped my ham croissant, bro. You know, the special from down the street they rarely have anymore. I dropped it when I saw them.” Taehyung grieves for his lost food, “I dropped it.”   “I’ll get you another one.”   “They’re out of them by ten! You can’t!”   For once, Jimin doesn’t know what to do. He’s still holding back his laughter before composing himself again with a deep breath, leaning back in his seat to assess the situation. He hasn’t mediated an office conflict in a long time and while he’ll admit he’s rusty, he also doesn’t want to come up with a solution without you. “Where’s Y/N?”   “She’s not in yet.”   “Then wait for her or talk to Hoseok. I can’t do anything about it until the end of the day. I have a meeting that starts in less than fifteen minutes.”   “You know what?” Taehyung stands straighter and he nods to himself like he’s come up with his own decision. “That’s a good idea — I’ll talk to Hoseok.”   “Wait. Really?”   The lawyer shrugs. “Yeah, why not? He’s cool.”   “Hoseok….” Jimin’s not sure he’s hearing it right. He never thought there would be a day that the employees of this office would feel this comfortable with his partner. The change was so gradual, but now he realizes it and it brings tears of joy to his eyes. “.....is cool?”   “Yeah,” Taehyung scoffs as if to say that it’s obvious. “He’d probably understand and reimburse me for that croissant and do something about my trauma. Plus, he gets office romances. You don’t see him and Y/N kissing up on each other all day.”   The senior partner’s mind reels. His brows furrow, caught off guard on how Taehyung knows. “Wait. What?”   But by then, he’s already walked out of Jimin’s office, beelining straight to the other partner’s office without an ounce of hesitation. But as he marches forward, he runs into you instead, as well as Hoseok who was apparently just arriving too. “Oh, Y/N! I was looking for you! Good morning.”   “Mornin’,” you chirp back in a happy tone. “Did you need me for something?”   “Yes, please. I was gonna ask Hoseok, but you’re even better.”   “Well alright, I’ll take it as a compliment! Follow me!” You wave your arm, signaling down the hall and he grins, trotting along after you like you’re both on a kid’s television show. The pair of you head towards your office and shut the door. Hoseok is left a bit flabbergasted before he melts into a soft smile, shaking his head at how you’re practically running the show around here and not him.   “Good thing I came to you all that time ago demanding you hire someone for a human resource position, huh?” Jimin approaches Hoseok’s side, arms crossed, fully satisfied as he looks down the hallway, the space where you just occupied. “My stubbornness once again helped us out.”   “Your stubbornness is the reason why we had that hideous pink wallpaper at the front desk for the first two months of our firm opening,” he murmurs with a slight tinkering laugh.   There’s a pause before he counters, “We took it down eventually.”   Hoseok scoffs and then laughs again. They both walk into the kitchen, standing side by side at the counter, waiting for the coffee machine. “You have to give me credit for hiring the right person. I was the one who did it.”   “If I remember correctly, you forgot about it and I was the one who picked up her résumé from the pile.” Jimin fills up his mug again, taking a small sip and warming his tummy up.   “Fine, fine,” Hoseok gives in with a playful twinkle glistening in his irises. “The credit goes to Park Jimin. Good job — if it weren’t for you, our office would be in shambles.”   “Thank you.” He gloats from the praise, rosy cheeks puffed out. “But just letting you know, we’re going to need Y/N for a long time.” Jimin pats his partner’s shoulder, sharing a sympathetic smile as he brushes past. “Sunyi and Yoongi are going to cause problems for us until they both retire or get high blood pressure and die from heart attacks.”   “Great.” Hoseok grins, laughing at the thought.   The brunette lawyer returns to his office, but he stops for a second and takes a peek behind him. People are tapping away at their keyboards, preoccupied with documents and files upon files. A few legal assistants are helping the others, running across the office floor. The receptionists pick up the phones that ring, calmly answering in a soft volume. The photocopier whirrs to life, one or two murmurs spoken before it’s silenced down, accompanying the rhythm of papers being flipped. It’s the glorious sound of work.   But the atmosphere of the office is less tense than it was before. It’s brighter, open, and even his partner seems to be that way as well.   There was a time when Jimin couldn’t remember when Hoseok wasn’t so serious, stern, and wrapped up in his work. But nowadays, he was so full of life, it was almost burdensome. Still, Jimin missed that bubbly side of him. It was great to see that part of his personality again.   Jimin takes another long look, feeling oddly nostalgic before he steps into his office and shuts the door.   //   In the heart of the metropolis are soaring towers, corporate offices and companies, business and enterprises that you are proud to be a part of. The firm is large and full of glass, from the giant windows to the glass of the conference room. When you look up over top the front desk, you find the name imprinted on the wall. Jung and Park.   You don’t feel so out of place or intimidated like you used to. The blazer and pencil skirt fits you perfectly well, having no need to be tugged on or smoothed out by your hands. In the past year, so many things have changed that it baffles you. You can still remember the first time you were in this conference room, absolutely petrified, hands shaking, forehead sweaty, palms clammy.   But some things never change. One of them being Hoseok. He’s still tall with dark hair, dressed in a fitted suit, sun-kissed skin glowing. His mere presence commands your attention. There’s always been something about him that makes him so alive.   “Well, first off, I should preface by saying that you’ve been doing a stellar job.”   “Are you saying that or are you being personally biased?”   The lawyer’s brow lifts. “Do you think I’m being biased?”   You shrug. “Maybe.”   “Alright.” Hoseok grins discreetly, scribbling down onto his paper with a pen at the same time as he mumbles what he’s writing, “employee believes employer is being biased.”   Laughter bubbles up your throat. “Why couldn’t Jimin do my performance review? This has to be a conflict of interest.”   “He’s busy and this is just a formality anyways.”   “So you’re not busy?”   “Oh, are you insinuating that I don’t have any work?” Hoseok’s enormous smile returns and he jots another note down on the paper in front of him, muttering at the same time, “employee believes employer is lazy.”   “C’mon!” You’re weakly protesting, unable to take this seriously. “You can’t just write down everything I say to you!”   Hoseok chuckles and finally puts his pen down. “I’m ahead of my work.”   “That makes more sense. You know...HR is supposed to sit in on performance reviews.”   “We can’t have our HR person doing their own evaluation.”   “Why not? I’d think I’d be quite fair.” “Oh, really now?” He flashes a questionable expression. “Then what would you say about yourself? How has your work ethic been?”   “I think….I’ve been stellar!” You say it with confidence and he scoffs jokingly, causing you to challenge him. “What? You think I’m wrong?”   “You were late to work a few times,” he points out.   “Because I held another job.”   Hoseok hums and flips a page, becoming more serious as he assesses the past few months. “Your performance is very well done actually. Consistent demonstration of enthusiasm and diligence in work across all areas.”   “Thank you.” You beam at him.   He smiles, unable to help himself. Throughout the conversation, he asks about your professional goals, goes over expectations again, your accomplishments, and establishes aims for your solo department. At the end, the pair of you stand up, shaking each other’s hand to conclude the successful meeting.   “You’ve done a very good job.”   “I appreciate that, Mr. Jung,” you deadpan with a hint of mischief.   His grip on your hand is still there, shaking it up and down across the table awkwardly to the point where outsiders would think it was actually a passive aggressive action. Except, they wouldn’t notice how tender his hold on you is. “I also recognize your effort to remain professional and not let any….private matters interfere in your work.”   “Of course not.” Your hand is still holding his, going up and down with no signs of stopping, nearly causing you to break and smile. “I take my job very seriously.”   “As do I.”   “Then would you like to let go of my hand, sir?”   “Yes, of course.” He grins, reluctantly letting go, skin skimming against each other before your arm drops to your side.   You dip your head slightly, preparing to exit the room. “Thank you again.”   Hoseok nods, waving before slipping his hand into his dress pants pocket, trying to act all chic and cool. “I’ll talk to you soon,” he addresses, leaving after you.   The both of you end up walking your separate ways. The man returns to his office. And as you make your way to your own office, you can’t help but turn around to stare at his broad backside becoming smaller in the distance. It feels like déjà vu for some reason...   But then Hoseok turns around as well, meeting your eyes and a stupid smile spreads across his face. His eyes crinkle, dimples marked on both sides of his cheeks, radiant as the sun. Then he throws a wink and turns back around. Unfortunately for him, he accidentally misses his office by a few feet and bumps into the wall instead of going through the door. You stifle down a giggle and no one else seems to notice the terribly embarrassing, yet endearing accident.   It doesn’t matter if Hoseok doesn’t remember the past. Right now and the future from today are much more important to the both of you. “Hoseok.”   “Hmm?”   The both of you are cuddling on the couch together. You’re curled up on his side while his arm drapes over you, watching television together. It’s some stupid survivor show and you hope that douchebag gets casted off for hoarding all the food. But while you watch, a more important thought comes to mind.   You turn your head to stare. The profile of his face is illuminated by the faint white light coming from the screen. He’s clad in cotton pajamas, dark hair tousled and just out of the shower, smelling like lavender soap and fresh linen. It’s cozy being beside him like this and you feel at home.   At your prolonged silence, Hoseok turns to look at you, eyes locking into his.   “What is it?” A smile of mirth pulls on his face, forming into a boyish grin. “Why are you staring at me like that?”   “I love you.”   If possible, Hoseok’s smile expands until his cheeks are swelling. You match his smile before cringing, realizing what just tumbled out your mouth. Your shoulders tense, but he pulls you closer. “Sorry, I don’t know where that came from,” you murmur.   “What do you mean you don’t know where that came from? You’re too cute.” He laughs, a tinkling noise coming from his chest and he hugs you, nuzzling into your hair. “I love you too.”   Your hands are placed on his shoulders and you tug him away for a moment. “Do you ever get worried we’re just repeating the same mistakes as back then?”   He becomes serious and honestly considers it for a long moment before answering, “no.”   “What if we don’t work out?”   “Then we don’t,” he says point-blank, but then Hoseok’s streak of optimism comes out. “But I’m going to try hard to make it work and I know you will too. Because I love you and you love me. And...I believe in us.”   A hopeful and content sigh is exhaled softly. “Me too.”   Hoseok returns back to the television, still holding you as he watches. “Plus, I’m not an immature asshole anymore.” There’s silence. “Right?” There’s more silence and he pulls away from the screen, fingers finding your sides and mercilessly tickling you. “Right?!”   “Yes, yes!” You giggle and he finally stops. Your head tilts. “And sorry to say, but my life doesn’t revolve around you either.”   The lawyer sulks and leans his forehead against yours. “You really think you could survive without me?”   “Yes.” You attempt to repress your smile, failing while doing so.   “Wow, I see how this is. You’re just going to end up running off with someone younger and hotter than me, aren’t you? Like Jungkook or the HR assistant you want me to hire!”   “What?” You’re snorting, shaking your head. “Who says?”   Hoseok tries to pout, though the corners of his mouth tilts into a smile. He chortles, ripping the blanket away from your bodies and moving to sit on you instead. He traps you beneath him and your hands are up, scared of another tickle torture attack. “You think I don’t know about JK? And how you keep insisting on hiring someone to make coffee runs for you? I know your scheme! You’re going to tie me down, marry me, then steal my money and run off with your boy toys! You thought I didn’t know? Well I have news for you, Miss. Y/N — I’m a divorce lawyer! You’re not getting a single penny!”   You’re laughing and he continues to hold you down, laughter bubbling out of him as well. “Say what you want, Jung Hoseok, but I know you’re whipped for me! You’ll do whatever it takes to keep me around!”   “Oh, so you admit it, huh?! You’re trying to tie me down and marry me and then rip me off!”   “Okay, you got me!” you challenge him, still struggling against his hold, but finding the circumstances too funny to actually fight back. “What are you going to do?”   “I’ll give you exactly what you want.” Hoseok grins, mouth pulled into a slight heart-shape as he teases you without mercy. “I’ll tie you down and marry you, but I won’t let you leave! How will you run off with your boy toys then?”   “I’m being held hostage!” you scream in the midst of giggles. “Help!”   It’s so silly. You feel like you’ve both regressed ten years back into children again playing dumb games. If your mom saw you now, she’d probably sigh and then send you two to the hospital to get yourselves checked out. But this is why you adore him.   Hoseok is sociable, hyperactive, bubbly. He’s also sulky, pouty and childish, especially when he doesn’t get his way. And then there’s the serious part of him, the stern aspect of his personality that gets things done, reliable and sincere in his work. He not only feels like a fun companion in your life, but a dependable partner. You’re endeared by all sides of him.   Even if it doesn’t work out this time, you’d be willing to try again and again and again.   Because you’re an idiot who loves him and he’s a dumbass that loves you.

[Epilogue]   “We’re going to be late!”   “We still have ten minutes.”   “What if traffic’s bad?”   “It won’t be!”   The pair of you are running around like headless chickens in the apartment. Time was ticking faster than anyone had noticed and you were behind by twenty minutes, but it was fashionable to arrive late...right?   You stumble out of the washroom finally, finding him in front of the mirror in the bedroom. He turns at the sight of you. “What do you think?”   Hoseok’s hands stop and he scans you up and down, from head to toe, and the corner of his lips tugs upwards. “Stunning.”   “Is it too flashy?” You do one slow spin in your heels, looking down at the floral print dress and how you’ve done yourself up. “I don’t want to take away from the bride.”   “You’ll always take away from any bride,” he murmurs. “You’re too beautiful.” At his cheesy compliment, you scoff and brush him off. Hoseok points to his own situation. “Can you help me with my tie? I can’t get it for some reason.”   “‘Course.” You meet him at the mirror in three strides and he tilts his head back as you undo and loop it properly again. “I can’t believe they’re getting married.”   “It’s just an engagement party.”   “Still. It happened so fast. I didn’t think Yoongi would propose so soon.”   “He said he had to tie Sunyi down before she changed her mind.” He smiles, recalling his friend’s laments. “It’s been a year since we caught them in the act, so they’ve been together for what? Three years? That’s actually a pretty long time.”   “God, don’t remind me of that incident. I don’t want to remember.” You shudder, shaking your head before finishing. “There.”   “Thanks.��� Hoseok adjusts the top knot slightly in the mirror.   You brush his shoulders, picking off a bit of fluff that’s stuck on his navy suit jacket. “Are you going to wear this to Hani and Daehwi’s wedding next month?”   “Maybe. Not sure yet.” He leaves the bedroom, grabbing the car keys on the way while you beeline towards the front door. “Did you RSVP already?”   “Of course. Their invitation is still on the coffee table, but I already responded.”   “We’re going to have to take a week off for their destination wedding.”   Before getting in the car, you look over and he smiles. “We only need a few days.”   “Yeah, but might as well stay there a bit longer and turn it into a vacation.”   You laugh. “Aren’t we already traveling together in a week?”   “Different occasions.” Hoseok shrugs and shuts the door, putting the keys in the ignition and firing up the engine. He looks over his shoulder as he backs out, palms turning the steering wheel appropriately.   “Are you sure it’s alright to miss that much work?”   “Well, I am the boss.”   “And so is Jimin.”   “He’ll be fine with it,” Hoseok insists with a smile. “We also have Wendy’s party to attend after that too.”   You grin, having almost let it slip your mind. “Right. I’ll admit, I’ve never been to a party celebrating a divorce before, but it sounds interesting.”   “It’ll be interesting, alright.” He leans back whilst driving, eyes focused ahead on the road. “Knowing that old woman, she’ll probably hire male and female strippers and have an ice sculpture to herself and enough chocolate fondue to rub our bodies in it.”   A giggle flows from your throat, feeling more excited for that event than going on that Europe trip with Hoseok. “Don’t tell her she’s old or she’ll beat you up and I won’t be able to do anything about it but film evidence from afar.”   “I’ll press assault charges,” he mumbles with a grin, imagining being in court with his old mentor for that reason. It’s comical and one daydream he’ll have to indulge in later.   Work has been better than ever. Jung and Park are thriving with the hard work that’s been put into it. It would take a lot for them to fail and become Jimin’s dream — Jungle Park, the playground equipment company for kids. Nevertheless, the divorce firm has been expanding with two more hired lawyers and three paralegals that you’re in the process of training.   The floor is expanding too. There were discussions of moving the firm elsewhere, but Jimin’s too sentimental about the office space and would rather just improve what they have.   Aside from work, lives were changing as well. Naul is in the process of planning an early retirement and start the golden years to travel with her husband around the world. Yoongi and Sunyi are getting married, and your friends are too.   As for you, you may or may not have overheard a conversation Hoseok was having with your mom — one that consisted of her nagging and being overbearing and ending with him promising to pop the question within this year. You also heard from a little birdy that he went ring shopping with his sister, and his parents have been mentioning a lot about grandkids lately….though that might be more down the line.   “Oh my goodness! Sunyi, you look so gorgeous!”   The female was glowing in her sparkling black gown and you can only imagine what she’ll look like in a wedding dress when the time comes. “Thank you.”   “She keeps joking this is her funeral get-up,” Yoongi sighs as a greeting, half hugging both you and Hoseok.   “Look, I’m just mourning for the loss of my singleness, okay?” she snaps and smiles when he rolls his eyes.   “Please. Don’t act like you don’t love me. We’ve been together for over three years.”   “Yeah, enough for me to want to blow my brains out,” Sunyi jokes around and he lightly scoffs.   “Get over here.” Yoongi has a gummy grin and pulls her in by her waist. He kisses her while smiling before the innocent act becomes more passionate and lustful. You blink, exchanging expressions with Hoseok, feeling like you’re infringing on their privacy. But they eventually pull away from each other, breathless and with swollen lips.   “This is allowed, right?” Sunyi wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, not at all bothered with how her lipstick has smeared and ended up on her fiancé’s face. If anything, there’s a twinkle of mischief in her irises. “We’re not in the office right now.”   “Yes, this is allowed,” you ease them with a laugh. “It’s fine.”   “Good.” She hugs Yoongi’s side and then motions to you both, snickering under her breath. “You guys act like you don’t do this either.”   “What?”   “We’re not the only ones in an office romance,” the female teases.   Hoseok looks at his old friend. “You told her?”   “You knew?” Sunyi raises her brows at Yoongi and he shrugs. She sighs, brushing it off to look at you, delivering the news, “Taehyung told everyone like twenty minutes before you came. He mentioned it out of nowhere and a lot of us were surprised. Pretty sure Seulgi and Jin are somewhere having a mental breakdown, so you should probably talk to them. But some of them saw it coming or at least that’s what Naul said.”   “Wait.” You hold your hands up, being bombarded with too much information, but one thing stands out to you. “Taehyung told you?”   You turn to stare at Hoseok and this time, he’s the one who shrugs. “I don’t know how he knows.”   “There they are!” Jimin’s giggling and he comes out from the crowd, gesturing to you all. “My lovebirds! It feels like all my children grew up and married each other.”   He pretends to cry, wiping away his fake tears and Lisa follows after him with a frown and crossed arms. “Is that supposed to be an Office reference?”   One by one, the entire office gathers together again and crowds up the main entrance. But everyone’s too busy conversing and laughing to notice.   “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us.” Jin is overdramatic, voice moving up in pitches. “Aren’t we family?!”   “Just wanted to say,” Taehyung butts in, “I was the first to know based on my own stellar observations.”   “Actually, Jungkook was the first.” Everyone gawks at you and then cranes their necks over to the youngest lawyer who’s sheepish.   “Umm...yeah.”   Hoseok quirks his head. “Really?”   Seulgi throws her arms into the air. “Unbelievable.”   “Makes you wonder what other kinds of secrets there are,” Namjoon comments while sipping on his drink.   Dahyun steps forward with a bright smile. “I saw Jin bringing someone into Hoseok’s office a few months back.”   The legal assistant gasps at the receptionist. “Wow, you’re exposing me now?”   “I can attest to that,” Inyoung sing-songs.   “My office?!” Hoseok’s mouth drops in disbelief. He isn’t too pleased. “Are you crazy?”   “Listen, no one’s ever done it in your office before, so I just had to have a go in it.”   “I think I’ve been too relaxed lately,” he mutters, still reeling from the thought. “I haven’t been strict enough.”   “Great, you just summoned Hoseok, the dictator, back,” Lisa deadpans.   “Actually, that’s not true, guys,” Min Yoongi pipes up. His arms are behind his back and he interrupts, grinning like he has some secret to tell. “Hoseok’s done it in his own office before.”   “What?” — “With Y/N?” — “That’s wild.”   “Oh my god.” Your face is on fire, absolutely mortified at this conversation. “We’re going to need to have another seminar on workplace romance and PDA.”   Taehyung salutes you. “I’ll look forward to it on Monday!”   You laugh, too happy to be standing here with these people around you. Of all the places you could’ve worked at, of all the places you could’ve been, all the jobs you could be doing and all the people you could have met...you are grateful that you picked this place and that they picked you.   The feeling of overwhelming gratitude is only amplified with Hoseok’s warm presence by your side.

The first time you met Hoseok was in class thirteen years ago. It was during the second year of your undergraduate degree where you were working to obtain a degree in commerce while he was in political science and dance. By sheer coincidence, you both ended up in a finance class together.   You thought nothing of him. He was the one who talked to you first. It wasn’t much of a start. But eventually, you were in a group project together, only for you to ditch him and leave him at the library since you were winning Monopoly at your board game club. Needless to say, you two failed at said project.   But for some unknown reason, Hoseok didn’t hate you. He asked you out twice. And that was the beginning of a four year long relationship. Of graduating together, moving across the country for him to go to law school and how you came along, of living together and having a pregnancy scare that led to an engagement. It was the whirlwind of having him break it off and leaving you in a city that you didn’t know, with a future that you had created and built entirely around him broken.   The second time you met Hoseok again, it was when you were searching for another job.   You applied to the position that was offered at his firm, and he interviewed and hired you.   “Welcome to the team.” The handsome dark-haired male greets you at the front with a slight smile and nod. He exhales and glances at his watch. “I’ll show you around and help you get settled.”   Afraid, intimidated, scared, you were pretty sure he hated you for taking control of the office and making so many changes. But you held your ground, challenging his every will head on, bickering and arguing, never wavering when he and everyone else gave you a hard time.   “Where are the safety requirements of this office? Does it even exist? And you know you can’t overwork these people! There are no vacation times and their pay is low!”   “Low?! If you think it’s low then what I make is low too! If someone has a problem with their pay, then they should directly come talk to me and we’ll deal with it!”   “Obviously everyone feels too threatened to come and talk to you!”   “We run a business not a charity. I knew this was a bad idea. I knew it. They’re using this as leverage to complain and whine and do no work.”   “These are legitimate concerns. If you care about these people, then you’d care about this too. I’m just trying to do my job.”   “And I’m trying to do mine!”   “But you listen to no one but yourself.”   “I can’t do this anymore.” Hoseok shakes his head and shouts for his partner’s help— “Jimin!”   “Fine.” You throw your hands up. “If you want to be this way, let’s talk with someone who’s more rational. Jimin!”   But he called a truce after you were stuck in an elevator with him. He brought down your guard during lunches spent in cozy hole-in-the-walls, worming his way closer while standing next to each other on the subway station, holding your hand while making the hard trek on a mountain, huddled together and chatting during workplace parties. He was there during your accident, there when you were ill, when you needed him the most.   And he’s here now.   While you might not know what will happen tomorrow, a year, or a decade from now, it’s different than before. He’s holding your hand and not letting go. The two of you are building a future together.   “Hey, I finished.”   “The staff handbook?” Hoseok flips through the crisp pages with a smile. You hum a low note, leaning in to plant a soft kiss on his swelling cheek tinged pink. He holds it to his chest after skimming over it quickly. “Can I keep the first ever copy?”   “Yes, you can.” You pull away, going into the kitchen. “But hurry, the food’s almost done. You can read it later.”   Jung and Park is written in cursive on the front page with your name signed on the bottom. His hands touch against the smooth cover and he walks to his home office, placing it on the desk. He’s about to leave, but his eyes stray off elsewhere.   Hoseok tugs open his desk drawer, lifting up a useless file to find a small black box in the corner hidden away. He grabs it, putting it into his pants pocket and he smiles to himself.   “Hobi!” you call his name from the kitchen.   “Coming!” He’s decided. Tonight is perfect.   Jung Hoseok walks off with his hands still holding the ring box.

You’re fortunate to know Hoseok. You’re even luckier to meet him for a second time and experience it all over again — to get to know him from the start, learn about his habits again, to become his best friend once more and discover your lives together. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t remember. And if he were to forget again, you wouldn’t mind doing it over and over again.   A life beside Hoseok, you can’t think of anything better.   “Um, excuse me.” You feel a hesitant tap on your left shoulder and a smooth voice sounding beside you. When you turn your head, your eyes grow wide. The guy next to you is actually talking to you. It’s the first time you’re actually looking at him.   You realize he has pretty brown eyes, ruffled black hair, sun-kissed skin covered by his grey hoodie and jeans, effortlessly casual…...and you’re underwhelmed.   He looks like any other university guy and you have no idea why he’s bothering you right now. You didn’t sign up to actually talk to anyone in class.   “Do you have the lecture notes from the last class? I wasn’t here….”   Oh. That’s why he’s talking to you. “Yeah, I can send you them if you need it.”   “That would be great.” The stranger’s eyes twinkle and he gives off a feeling of mischief. He’s friendly, making you feel more at ease with how warm he is despite being a complete stranger. “What’s your name?”   “I’m Y/N.” You lift your arm with an open hand. He stares down at it for a second before clasping his palm with yours, shaking your hand. The corner of your mouth lifts and you nod. “You?”   “Jung Hoseok.” He smiles, corners of his mouth quirking upwards into a slight heart shape and you muse how he reminds you of the sun. “Nice to meet you.”

Navigating the Job

I've got another Ethan x Casey (OH MC) one-shot here. It piggybacks off my first Ethan fic, "Grief". Word count is 2,872

Tags: @perriewinklenerdie @cordoniansqueen @shelivesinthewoods @silversparrow02 @universallypizzataco @fangirlmum @alj4890 @naffeesaa @hija-del-universo @choicesmakemychoices @confessionsofabrokegirl @choicesfactor. If anyone else would like to be tagged, please let me know! :)

Disclaimer: Pixelberry owns Choices and all the amazing characters. (And of course me 😂)

Warning: it is super long and I had to post this from my phone, so unless I'm very, not smart, I can't add the keep reading break. Sorry it's sooo long!!!

Casey took a deep breath before she exited the locker room.

She and Ethan had hardly spoken since they had their moment a couple nights ago, and it made her uneasy. She knew he was busy, especially since the declaration of one intern being assigned to his diagnostic's team, but now that makes her even more uneasy. She is in the competition and she kissed the man who has a say in which intern won the spot. That wouldn't cause a scandal if they had gotten caught, right?

As she walked down the hall to pick up her patient assignments for the day, she heard footsteps closing in on her own.

"Rookie."

Ethan's voice sent her heart into overdrive.

This is it. Act normal and professional. Do not blow your whole career because you can't hide your emotions.

"Yes, Dr. Ramsey?" Casey stops and turns, waiting just a few seconds before he catches up.

His piercing blue eyes bore into her own for a split second.

"How many patients do you have today?" He keeps walking, forcing her to jog, attempting to keep up with his long strides.

Ok, easy, this is normal. Just like it was before anything happened, perfect. It causes her gut to twist with an emotion she doesn't enjoy. Jealousy? Envy? Over his job?

Stop being ridiculous Casey, get it together.

"I was just on my way to pick up my assignments." She coughs lightly, trying to force out the awkwardness she feels.

Ethan glances at her, but quickly looks away.

"If you have a lighter assignment list today, I've got a couple more patients for you. Dr. Emery wants the interns that are in the competition to have additional patients that she and myself can monitor with each of you."

Casey nods and bites her lip. "Okay, are you headed to the nurse's station?"

"Yes."

They glance at each other, briefly making eye contact before they both look away.

A little ways from the elevator, Casey breaks the silence between them.

"So, how was your weekend?"

His lips threaten to turn upward, but he forces them back down.

"Are you attempting to make small talk, Valentine?"

She smiles, but quickly bites her lip to hide it.

"I don't know, is it working?"

This time he smirks and doesn't hide it. Their back and forth banter was common knowledge among the interns and some of the attendings.

"I only make small talk with colleagues." He glances at her again, taking in her side profile.

"Ouch." A laugh escapes her, causing a small smile to find his lips for a brief second.

They finally reach the elevator just as the doors slide open. A small group of nurses exit together, making googly eyes at Ethan. They talk quietly amongst themselves as Casey and the handsome doctor pass to enter the elevator. Once the doors slide shut, he faces her, giving her his undivided attention.

"I need to apologize." He frowns slightly, his fingers tapping on the folder he's holding.

Casey jerks her head towards him. "What for?"

He looks into her eyes. "For the other night. I shouldn't have done that. I put your career in jeopardy, and I can't let myself ruin all of your hard work."

"Dr. Ramsey, I--"

He puts his hand up in the air to stop her.

"Please, call me Ethan when we're alone." He gives her a pained smile.

She can see the conflict in his blue eyes.

"Ethan, I made the first move, and honestly at first I thought you were going to turn me down and tell me how stupid I was." She laughs lightly, "But, when you kissed me back, I--I felt like I finally belonged somewhere. Like someone finally cared about me, for me, but I guess I shouldn't have assumed that. Especially after the night we had."

She looks away, remembering that night mixed with how she was feeling right now, was forcing her eyes to well up.

He shakes his head. His hand reaches out to touch her elbow lightly. "I'm glad you assumed that, because I felt the same thing. But, I still don't want to cause you to lose your job or chance at a career you absolutely deserve."

"No, no I won't put my career ahead of what makes me happy. I'll pull out of the competition, I'll transfer to a different hospital, but I will not put my happiness on the back burner." She pushes her red hair out of her face, looking at him determinedly.

"You will not pull out of the competition or transfer from this hospital because this is where you belong." He takes a deep breath just as the elevator doors open. "We'll continue this later."

Casey nods as they both walk to get her patient assignments. They walked in complete silence. When she got her assignments, she read them over quickly before passing the chart to Ethan.

His eyes scan the page before he nods. "Once you've finished your rounds, come find me and we'll go do a couple others together."

"Yes, Dr. Ramsey." She takes the assignment list from his hand. Their fingers brush causing her heartrate to spike. Her skin burned where his touch lingered for a that split second.

Without another word, he turns on his heel and strides the opposite way from Casey's first patient. Her eyes follow him.

Well, that was a cold shoulder if she'd ever seen one.

"He's so hot." Sienna's voice startled Casey.

She glances down at the young intern. "Think so?"

Sienna widens her eyes. "I would date him in a heartbeat. Do you need your eyes checked?"

Casey lets out a small laugh, "You'd let your career go to shambles over a good looking guy?"

"Well, all I'd have to do is give up the diagnostics team, I think. I mean come on, Ramsey and Emery were a thing until she became his boss so obviously workplace relationships aren't against any rules."

Casey's heart skipped. Sienna was right, "I've got rounds to do. See you later."

As she turned, her mind raced with thoughts of Ethan. He didn't have to protect her, but it did make her feel like he actually cared. Or did he just not care about her at all and was trying to let her down easy?

She stood outside her first patient's door, taking a deep breath in.

Just get through your rounds and then you can talk everything out with him.

***

It was afternoon. Casey hadn't sat down in hours and she still had not eaten lunch. She was on her way back to the nurse's station when Ethan turned the corner and was headed straight towards her.

"Done with your rounds?" He stopped when they met in the middle.

She nods. Her stomach rumbles with a loud growl. He raises an eyebrow. His eyes glint with amusement and he smirks at her.

"Haven't had lunch yet?"

She covers her face with the chart she was carrying. "That was so embarrassing."

He chuckles at her. "Go grab some lunch and bring it to my office. We can talk about the two patients I'm assigning you while you eat."

"Thanks." She passes him without looking up.

Casey quickly drops the chart off at the nurse's station before taking the elevator to the cafeteria.

Her lunch consisted of an apple, grilled chicken, rice pilaf, and a brownie. On her way out, she grabs a bottled fruit smoothie. The smell of the food is making her mouth water. Although it is hospital food, Edenbrook has a fairly good kitchen staff and pretty good food. The elevator ride back up to Ethan's office floor consisted of her stomach growling and her nerves building up again.

The doors open with a ding and Ethan's office comes into view. She quickly walks to his door and knocks.

"Come in." His muffled voice had lost its usual edge.

Casey tucks the smoothie under her arm to open his door. Once she gets inside the familiar room, she shuts the door behind her before sitting in a chair across from him.

"Can I set my food on your desk?"

He raises an eyebrow and looks at her over his reading glasses.

And here she thought he couldn't get any hotter.

"I'm not that controlling."

She smiles, setting her box on his mahogany table.

"Damn it." She frowns and bites her bottom lip.

"What's wrong?"

"I forgot a fork." Casey huffs.

She starts to get up but he stops her.

"I've got one you can use." He opens a drawer to reveal a bag of plastic forks.

"Those aren't used right?"

She can't hide the amusement on her face when he scowls at her.

"Take one before I change my mind and make you go back down to the cafeteria."

She giggles as her hand reaches into the bag to pull to a fork out.

"Thank you."

He nods and he puts the bag back in the drawer, shutting it before he speaks.

"So, the two patients that I've decided to assign are around the same age, but two totally different cases."

"Ethan."

He smiles at her use of his first name.

"I want to pull out of the competition."

The smile fades nearly as quickly as it came.

"Why on earth would you want to do that?" He pulls his glasses off.

"Because you said you felt the same way that I did about the other night."

Casey pauses, gauging his expression. He raises his eyebrows questionably, urging her to go on.

"I'm fine not being a part of the diagnostics team yet, if it means we can try 'us'. I am not going to let my happiness be thrown on the backburner. I will always work hard to be appointed to the team later on."

"I will not let you out of this competition." He pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Then what are we going to do?" She throws her arms up in frustration.

He sighs. "You are going to have to learn how to be discreet."

She perks up when his sentence registers in her brain. "Really? You want to try?" She breaks out into a huge smile, but tries to force it back down. She didn't want to seem too eager.

He smirks, he caught on to her eagerness, and it made him want her even more.  He wanted her to be his, even if it meant only they knew about them.

"Yes, I want to try us."

She wants to run around his desk to hug him. Hold him. Kiss him. But she controls herself, she has to. She's got to prove to him that she can be discreet and control herself around him in the hospital.

"Okay, well, I guess we should check on those two patients, huh?"

He furrows his eyebrows. "You haven't taken one bite of your lunch."

She looks down at the box and flushes with embarrassment. "I'm, uh, not that hungry anymore."

He chuckles, "I don't believe I've ever had that effect on a woman before."

She rolls her eyes, "Please, I'm just too excited now that I know I can stay in the competition."

"Sure." He smiles slightly, "Do you have an early shift tomorrow?"

She thinks for a second and furrows her eyebrows before she answers, "No."

"Good, dinner tonight?"

That makes her heart flip. A date, a real date, with Ethan.

"I mean, if you want to." She smiles sheepishly.

"Now your going to play shy?"

"Stop it." She whines and stands abruptly.

He smiles at the woman before him. The woman who is now his.

"Do you mind if I set my food in your mini fridge?" Casey is about to the door on the refrigerator before he even answers.

"Nope, it's all yours."

She hears him stand up from his desk chair as she opens the small door to the fridge.

"I suppose we better go check those two patients."

"Right," she stands up after closing the fridge.

When she turns around his heart starts beating faster. She is his. Her red curls frame her face perfectly. Those plump lips nearly cause him to break their silent rule of "no touching in the workplace". He takes a deep breath to compose himself.

"Let's get going. After we take care of these two, we'll meet tonight at 6, out front."

She nods, "Sounds good. Where are we going to go?"

He shrugs. "What sounds good to you?"

"How about a quiet, little Italian restaurant?" She tries to gauge his reaction, "it's not fancy so we can just relax. Plus, I don't think it's on any of the other interns radar. I kind of kept the place to myself."

"You're willing to share it with me?" His eyes are full of amusement.

"I guess."

He smiles as they walk out into the hallway. "Smart ass."

She giggles. She couldn't believe that they were actually going out on an official date tonight. It sent a shiver down her spine.

***

They met at exactly six o'clock. She slid into his Mercedes, hiding her face as he drove out of the hospital parking lot.

"You okay over there?" His hand slid off the gear shift towards her left hand once they got on the main road.

She straightens in the luxurious seat. "Just trying to be inconspicuous."

"That was you being inconspicuous?" His hand slides over to hers, interlacing his fingers with hers. "You probably brought more suspicion on us with you hiding your face like that."

Casey looks down at their fingers tangled together. Her thumb starts rubbing across his knuckles before she speaks.

"That's true. I guess I'm just a little nervous."

They were stopped at a red light as it began to rain. His eyes watched a rain drop trail down his windshield before he looked over to her. She is biting her bottom lip and he can practically see the gears turning in her mind.

"You don't need to worry." The light turns green causing him to steal his hand back momentarily to shift. As soon as they're cruising again, he grabs her hand and pulls it towards him. "Listen to me, I trust you. We'll be fine as long as we're careful around the hospital. Why do you think I had you meet me at the front of the hospital instead of the staff entrance?"

Her eyes flash quickly up to him. "Right." She clears her throat, pulling their hands back towards her, squeezing his tightly.

He glances towards her. "If you are having second thoughts, I understand. I can take you home." He begins to pull his hand away from hers, but she stops him.

"No! Are you kidding me? I've been wanting you--this, for a long time."

The feeling her soft, slightly dry skin on his is something he's wanted for a long time too.

"I'm just worried about you."

They're stopped at another red light, allowing him to look straight at her. He raises an eyebrow causing her to smile.

"I just mean that I don't want you to get in trouble because of me. You have way more at stake than I do."

His eyes soften when he realizes that she cares more about him than herself.

"You don't need to worry about me. I'm tougher than I look and besides you, no one questions me about anything."

It was her turn to raise an eyebrow. "I don't think you look tough, I think you look mean most of the time."

He chuckles gripping her hand once they got past the red light again. "I've told you before that I focus my energy on my patients."

He pulls into the small parking lot at the address Casey punched into his GPS.

"And me." She gives him a cheeky grin, earning her a smile from him.

"And you." His voice was softer than ever.

She noticed that he has one lock of hair above his eyebrow, adding to how attractive he is. Subconsciously, she leans towards him, as if being pulled by a magnet. His eyes drift to her lips, but look back up to her eyes, only to see she is transfixed on his mouth. He smirks and leans in.

The kiss is sweet and gentle at first. She runs a hand through his hair, enjoying the feel of the silk strands covering her fingers. When her hand slides to the nape of his neck, she pulls him closer. One of his hands moves to her waist, tugging her even closer. His lips move away from hers, down to her neck, kissing, sucking, and caressing her soft skin. His tongue teases her, sending a sensation through her body, wanting more. The stubble on his strong jawline scratches against her, adding to the sensation.

"Ethan," her voice is a breathless plea. A plea for him to keep going.

She attempts to climb into his lap, but is startled by his car horn.

They break away from each other and he laughs, wholeheartedly.

"Let's hurry and get some dinner." He begins to untangle himself from her, "Then we'll continue you this at my place."

She smiles at him, "I like the way you think."

Plan to beat ‘pingdemic’ branded shambles as firms report frustration trying to register staff #ٹاپسٹوریز

New Post has been published on https://mediabox.pk/plan-to-beat-pingdemic-branded-shambles-as-firms-report-frustration-trying-to-register-staff/

Plan to beat ‘pingdemic’ branded shambles as firms report frustration trying to register staff

A government scheme to beat the “pingdemic” by exempting essential workers from self-isolation has been denounced as a shambles, as small businesses warned they were facing frustration and delays in trying to sign up staff.

Ministers last week announced 800 daily testing sites would be set up around the country to allow double-vaccinated workers in the food industry and emergency services to show they are safe to work, and a further 1,200 were announced on Monday as the scheme was expanded to include jobs including binmen, prison warders and energy workers.

Some 500 are supposed to be operational by the end of this week, with only a few dozen thought to be up and running now.

But representatives of small businesses said they had struggled to find lists of venues for workers to take PCR tests, and the Department of Health was unable to provide The Independent with a figure for how many have so far been set up.

The national chair of the Federation of Small Businesses, Mike Cherry, said that when the daily testing scheme was announced last week, many firms hoped it would end problems caused by staff being identified as contacts of Covid-positive people and told to stay home ahead of the 16 August date for all double-jabbed adults to be exempted from self-isolation.

But he said they had been “disappointed” by the bureaucratic burden of applying for exemptions and the limited number of workers who appear to be eligible. And he warned that “countless” businesses could be put at risk as a result.

“The increasing list of those allowed to take a PCR test after being pinged does not include the vast majority of small business workplaces,” said Mr Cherry. “Those that hope that they do fall into scope are finding out that they do not.

“For a small business without a big HR or legal department, that does not have an account manager within a government department like a large business does to ask and manage the process, the exemption application process is demanding and hard to navigate.

“A fundamental question is, how are we defining ‘essential’? One of the many lessons of the pandemic has been how interconnected our economy is – it’s no good getting food and essential supplies to remote convenience stores if those stores are shut because all the staff have been pinged and they’re not classed as essential.

“Unless these issues are sorted, and sorted rapidly, we risk undoing provisional progress towards recovery, putting the ‘staycation summer’ at risk, while endangering countless businesses.”

Road Haulage Association managing director for policy and public affairs Rod McKenzie told The Independent: “It’s a shambles.

“What hauliers are telling us is that it is too complicated, it’s too hard to understand what you have to do and work out whether you are exempt or not.”

Mr McKenzie said government had been “secretive” about the number of testing sites which have been set up and where they can be found.

With just three weeks to go until the 16 August date for lifting the threat of self-isolation for the double-vaccinated, he said many truckers viewed the time and effort required to register for exemption as more trouble than it was worth.

“Our members find it confusing and bureaucratic and a lot of them are just not bothering to apply,” he said. “These guys were essential workers before, they are essential now. We’re seeing empty shelves in supermarkets which are used to two or three deliveries a day and are maybe only getting one. If they are double-jabbed and they’re testing negative, why not let them work?”

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UK news in pictures

27 July 2021

A view of one of two areas now being used at a warehouse facility in Dover, Kent, for boats used by people thought to be migrants.

PA

UK news in pictures

26 July 2021

A woman is helped by Border Force officers as a group of people thought to be migrants are brought in to Dover, Kent, onboard a Border Force vessel, following a small boat incident in the Channel

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25 July 2021

Vehicles drive through deep water on a flooded road in Nine Elms, London

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24 July 2021

Utilities workers inspect a 15x20ft sinkhole on Green Lane, Liverpool, which is suspected to have been caused by ruptured water main

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23 July 2021

Children interact with Mega Please Draw Freely by artist Ei Arakawa inside the Turbine Hall at the Tate Modern in London, part of UNIQLO Tate Play the gallery’s new free programme of art-inspired activities for families

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22 July 2021

Festivalgoers in the campsite at the Latitude festival in Henham Park, Southwold, Suffolk

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21 July 2021

A man walks past an artwork by Will Blood on the end of a property in Bedminster, Bristol, as the 75 murals project reaches the halfway point and various graffiti pieces are sprayed onto walls and buildings across the city over the Summer

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20 July 2021

People during morning prayer during Eid ul-Adha, or Festival of Sacrifice, in Southall Park, Uxbridge, London

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19 July 2021

Commuters, some not wearing facemasks, at Westminster Underground station, at 08:38 in London after the final legal Coronavirus restrictions were lifted in England

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18 July 2021

A view of spectators by the 2nd green during day four of The Open at The Royal St George’s Golf Club in Sandwich, Kent

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17 July 2021

Cyclists ride over the Hammersmith Bridge in London. The bridge was closed last year after cracks in it worsened during a heatwave

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16 July 2021

The sun rises behind the Sefton Park Palm House, in Sefton Park, Liverpool

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15 July 2021

Sir Nicholas Serota watches a short film about sea monsters as he opens a £7.6 million, 360 immersive dome at Devonport’s Market Hall in Plymouth, which is the first of its type to be built in Europe

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14 July 2021

Heidi Street, playing a gothic character, looks at a brain suspended in glass at the world’s first attraction dedicated to the author of Frankenstein inside the ‘Mary Shelley’s House of Frankenstein’ experience, located in a Georgian terraced house in Bath, as it prepares to open to the public on 19 July

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13 July 2021

Rehearsals are held in a car park in Glasgow for a parade scene ahead of filming for what is thought to be the new Indiana Jones 5 movie starring Harrison Ford

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12 July 2021

A local resident puts love hearts and slogans on the plastic that covers offensive graffiti on the vandalised mural of Manchester United striker and England player Marcus Rashford on the wall of a cafe on Copson Street, Withington in Manchester

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11 July 2021

England’s Bukayo Saka with manager Gareth Southgate after the match

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10 July 2021

Australia’s Ashleigh Barty holds the trophy after winning her final Wimbledon match against Czech Republic’s Karolina Pliskova

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9 July 2021

England 1966 World Cup winner Sir Geoff Hurst stands on top of a pod on the lastminute.com London Eye wearing a replica 1966 World Cup final kit and looking out towards Wembley Stadium in the north of the capital, where the England football team will play Italy in the Euro 2020 final on Sunday

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8 July 2021

Karolina Pliskova celebrates after defeating Aryna Sabalenka during the women’s singles semifinals match on day ten of the Wimbledon Tennis Championships in London

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7 July 2021

The residents of Towfield Court in Feltham have transformed their estate with England flags for the Euro 2020 tournament

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6 July 2021

A couple are hit by a wave as they walk along the promenade in Dover, Kent, during strong winds

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5 July 2021

Alexander Zverev playing against Felix Auger-Aliassime in the fourth round of the Gentlemen’s Singles on Court 1 on day seven of Wimbledon at The All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club

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4 July 2021

Aaron Carty and the Beyoncé Experience perform on stage during UK Black Pride at The Roundhouse in London

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3 July 2021

England’s Jordan Henderson celebrates after scoring his first international goal, his side’s fourth against Ukraine during the Euro 2020 quarter final match at the Olympic stadium in Rome

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2 July 2021

Dan Evans serves against Sebastian Korda during their men’s singles third round match at Wimbledon

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1 July 2021

Prince William, left and Prince Harry unveil a statue they commissioned of their mother Princess Diana, on what would have been her 60th birthday, in the Sunken Garden at Kensington Palace, London

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30 June 2021

Dancers from the Billingham Festival and Balbir Singh Dance Company, during a preview for the The Two Fridas, UK Summer tour, presented by Billingham International Folklore Festival of World Dance in collaboration with Balbir Singh Dance Company, inspired by the life and times of female artists Frida Kahlo and Amrita Sher-Gil , which opens on July 10 at Ushaw Historic House, Chapel and Gardens in Durham

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29 June 2021

A boy kicks a soccer ball in front of the balconies and landings adorned with predominantly England flags at the Kirby housing estate in London

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28 June 2021

Emergency services attend a fire nearby the Elephant & Castle Rail Station in London

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27 June 2021

People walk along Regent Street in central London during a #FreedomToDance march organised by Save Our Scene, in protest against the government’s perceived disregard for the live music industry throughout the coronavirus pandemic

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26 June 2021

A pair of marchers in a Trans Pride rally share a smile in Soho

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25 June 2021

Tim Duckworth during the Long Jump in the decathlon during day one of the Muller British Athletics Championships at Manchester Regional Arena

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24 June 2021

A member of staff poses with the work ‘The Death of Cash’ by XCopy at the ‘CryptOGs: The Pioneers of NFT Art’ auction at Bonhams auction house in London

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23 June 2021

Bank of England Chief Cashier Sarah John displays the new 50-pound banknote at Daunt Books in London

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22 June 2021

Actor Isaac Hampstead Wright sits on the newly unveiled Game of Throne’s “Iron Throne” statue, in Leicester Square, in London, Tuesday, June 22, 2021. The statue is the tenth to join the trail and commemorates 10 years since the TV show first aired, as well as in anticipation for HBO’s release of House of the Dragon set to be released in 2022

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21 June 2021

Scotland’s First Minister Nicola Sturgeon receives her second dose of the Oxford/AstraZeneca Covid-19 vaccine

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20 June 2021

Joyce Paton, from Peterhead, on one of the remaining snow patches on Meall a’Bhuiridh in Glencoe during the Midsummer Ski. The event, organised by the Glencoe Mountain Resort, is held every year on the weekend closest to the Summer Solstice

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19 June 2021

England appeal LBW during day four of their Women’s International Test match against India at the Bristol County Ground

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18 June 2021

Scotland fans let off flares in Leicester Square after Scotland’s Euro 2020 match against England ended in a 0-0 draw

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17 June 2021

Members of the Tootsie Rollers jazz band pose on the third day of the Royal Ascot horse racing meet

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16 June 2021

A woman and child examine life-size sculptures of a herd of Asian elephants set up by the Elephant Family and The Real Elephant Collective to help educate the public on the elephants and the ways in which humans can better protect the planets biodiversity, in Green Park, central London

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15 June 2021

Hydrotherapists with Dixie, a seven-year-old Dachshund who is being treated for back problems common with the breed, in the hydrotherapy pool during a facility at Battersea Dogs and Cats Home’s in Battersea, London, to view their new hydrotherapy centre

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14 June 2021

Scotland’s David Marshall in the net after Czech Republic’s Patrik Schick scored their second goal at Hampden Park

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13 June 2021

Raheem Sterling celebrates with Harry Kane after scoring England’s first goal of the Euro 2021 tournament in a match against Croatia at Wembley

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12 June 2021

Oxfam campaigners wearing costumes depicting G7 leaders pose for photographers on Swanpool Beach near Falmouth, Cornwall

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11 June 2021

Members of the Vaxinol team, who are commercial, industrial and residential cleaners specialising in disinfection and decontamination, use electrostatic spray systems to deep clean the Only Fools Bar in Liverpool

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10 June 2021

A woman walks her dogs as the incoming tide begins to wash away the heads of G7 leaders drawn in the sand by activists on the beach at Newquay, Cornwall

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9 June 2021

Adam Chamberlain, 45, general manager of Big Tree pub in Sheffield, has put up over 500 flags, taking 36 hours, in preparation for Euro 2020, which kicks off this weekend

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8 June 2021

REUTERS

Food wholesalers Birchall Foodservice of Burnley, which supplies care homes, hospices, hospitals, schools and colleges as well as restaurant, said they were “completely in the dark” about how to access teh exemption scheme for their staff.

HR manager Krissy Fremont told Radio 4’s Today: “There’s still a total lack of detail. We were told yesterday the government would directly contact wholesale food service providers that were going to be on the list, and we haven’t been contacted.

“We were given an email to contact and ask if we were on the list. I did that yesterday and got an automated response saying ‘We’re receiving a high volume of emails, we’ll get back to you’. So we’re as much in the dark as we were.”

Ms Fremont said that she and other office workers had been out in vans making deliveries to ensure that customers did not miss out because drivers were absent after being pinged.

“Our care sector can be anything from a care home to a hospice or some levels of hospital, so these are vulnerable people who need their food deliveries,” she said. “We support holiday hunger campaigns for children receiving free school meals and without our deliveries those children aren’t going to get those meals.”

The Department for Transport did not respond to The Independent’s request for a comment on suggestions the scheme was a “shambles” and there was no immediate reply to requests for details of the number and location of testing sites.

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*snoop dogg vc* greetings, loved ones! let’s take a journey!   ; )

alternatively: hello, my name is lea ( 19 | est | she/her ) and this is the one where i introduce you to my little raindrop droptop gumdrop son, WARNER CHOI !

isn’t that ROSS BUTLER ? wait, that’s just WARNER. you can tell it’s him because of the WINTER GREEN TIC TACS & THE SCENT OF MAISON MARGIELA’S ‘JAZZ CLUB’, TOPPED OFF WITH A HONEY-DIPPED SMILE. he is the TWENTY THREE year old in the CHOI family. people say that he tends to be ALLUSIVE but i’ve seen them be PACIFIC. don’t tell anyone but i heard that he is hiding THAT HE HAS BEEN FORGING PRESCRIPTIONS AND SKIMMING MEDS FROM HIS WORKPLACE FOR BOTH HIMSELF AND HIS FAMILY. 

alright so just to preface: it is currently 12:15am, i have just returned from the gym, and therefore this intro will be an absolute trash amalgamation of headcanons & word vomit! but without further ado! let’s dive in!

warner is still v much a dude i’m figuring out, but a skeletal version of his BACKSTORY goes a little bit like this:

born & raised in sunray, but only for a short while. shortly after beginning preschool at 3 years old, it became clear to the choi parents that warner simply could not conform to a traditionally paced education system. the boy was far too perceptive for his age, to the point where he often shocked his educators and peers with unwarrantedly accurate analyses. ( for example, upon witnessing his preschool teacher discipline another child for the use of ‘vulgar language,’ three-year-old warner declared the following while holding his peanut butter & fluff sandwich with the crusts cut off: “  don’t think you should take anyone else’s words without asking. that’s an invasion of freedom. ” 

so warner spent his actual years of primary education off at a prestigious new york boarding school, cultivating his wits. i imagine this did do some damage to his bond with his siblings/parents, but not from his end. in general, warner is the epitome of warm and inviting. he loves completely, all or nothing, even from afar. but as the years progressed, it became much simpler for him to stay with friends during the holidays rather than fly back across the country for every official recess. so his visits to sunray grew slim, to the point where, by the time he entered high school, he only returned home for a few weeks each summer.

warner had always fostered a passion for science and along with a vivacious curiosity about his surrounding world. it was no shock to his academic mentors when he opted to apply to colleges in pursuit of a biology/pre-med degree. what was surprising was his choice of school -- rather than attend harvard, massachusetts institute of technology, or princeton ( his top three picks, all of which he was accepted to ), warner chose to attend arizona state university. though the choi family didn’t need to save the money, warner felt self-imposed pressure to be closer to his family, to make up for the colossal amount of time he spent away. while attending college, he supplemented his classes and expedited his dual degree by working as an EMT with the ASU emergency medical services. it was through this job that he met chase rutherford, the man who would later become his boyfriend -- and current fiancé.

warner has never been closeted. not really. being away for primary/secondary school and living on-campus at ASU helped him kind of just... exist happily without his parents knowing? but as his visits with the family grew more frequent given his collegiate location in state, it was only natural that eventually his parents put two-and-two together. and while they weren’t exactly unsupportive, there was a certain element of disappointment evident from his father. warner did a pretty adequate job of subduing his response to his father’s reaction, channeling his emotions into furthering himself in the medical field. pushing himself to make his father proud again.

( tw: death, grief ) currently, he works as a pediatric oncological nurse, which might perhaps aid in mending his relationship with his father. if, of course, his father were alive to see it. warner was only promoted to this position about three months ago -- his father died several weeks shy of witnessing his son become anything more than a standard physician’s assistant. knowing this absolutely haunts warner, but he refuses to talk about it. and the same goes for the tragic, sudden nature of his father’s death -- as well as the unsolved nature of the crime.

( tw: drug abuse, addictive behavior ) following his father’s death, the choi family has been in shambles. and with nothing being done to catch the person who stole away their patriarch’s life? it only seems natural that the crew would turn to... external... means of self-medicating. at the first sign of trouble, warner felt compelled to put an end to it, stage an intervention. but he knew what it was like, living in pain, and denying his family the right to feel better. the right not to feel at all. against his better judgment, he began forging painkiller prescriptions for his oncology patients and pocketing them once they were filled. it started as a covert operation for his mother and sister. 

the night of his father’s death when a little like this: “you had so much potential. wasted on such a small place in this world. call me when you have something notable to tell.” warner attempted to protest, to offer something more than himself, but he could only utter a stifled, “but -- you don’t understand --” before a loud bang sounded. a series of loud screeches, gasps, clattering as the other end of the line left his father’s hand. and then the line... went dead.

one afternoon, about a week into his medicinal misappropriation, the last words his father said to him on the night of his death wouldn’t relinquish their hold. the usual remedies didn’t work: deep breaths warranted no result. distracting himself with his work proved immaterial. there was no escape. so warner dipped into the bottle of pills he’d intended to hand over to his mother later that night. and he finally understood why she couldn’t possibly go without.

a valium here and there turned into a routine occurrence. a little something to get through work. a small dose to make the estate settlement more bearable. something to subdue the nightmares. everything became a valid reason for some supplementation by negation. maybe if he could shut off his mind, maybe if he could calm his nerves, maybe if he got high enough, it could all just... vanish. but sadly, that’s not how this kind of thing works. but no one’s really been able to tell warner that, since he’s kept this entire ordeal neatly tucked just below the surface. no one but his family knows -- because they’re all on the same derailing train.

some general notes about his PERSONALITY & QUIRKS :

he loves working with kids, and honestly, no better person could be chosen to work one-on-one every day with children diagnosed with terminal illnesses. warner has a certain serenity to his presence; he walks into a room and any remnants of strife vacate the premises. tension clears, like the atmosphere after fresh rain.

dude’s gotta wear scrubs at the hospital, but his personal sense of style consists mostly of fitted shirts, blazers, tailored pants, and wonderful statement shoes. this man knows how to dress.

the great british baking show is his latest inspiration. is he trying to make cupcakes right now? maybe. is he accidentally using baking powder instead of baking soda? uhm. oh. whoops.

honestly how did he survive going to school on the east coast? this dude is... such sunshine? so arizona? sees the best in everyone, refuses to be unkind even to the assholes of this universe. his version of an ill-wish goes a little something like: “y’know, i really hope they freak out about losing their keys only to then find them in their pocket.”

america runs on dunkin’ and warner runs on caffeine !! definitely more of a tea than a coffee fella, but he’ll take whatever he can get before/during/after a crazy shift.

winter green tic tacs have been his favorite thing since the third grade. hey. did you know if you chomp on them really hard in the dark with your mouth open, they’ll flash? no! seriously! you don’t believe me? hold on -- grab the lights. he’s done that to everyone he’s ever met/will continue to meet.

will NOT talk about his own feelings !!  he is an expert side-stepper, and he’ll find a way to swerve and avoid being the topic of discussion by spinning the concerns back onto you. call him on it, or don’t. he’ll still try to deflect.

lowkey sings? but only in the shower, in the car, or to people who ask nicely. or get him drunk. either or.

oh my god, he’s a tall & muscular guy -- 6′3 to be exact -- but he is such a lightweight. two glasses of wine have him all giggly and snuggly. one shot of tequila turns him into an epic flirt.

warner spends a lot of his free time doing crosswords, playing sudoku, and reading academic journals. human encyclopedia at your service. need some fun facts for your next group setting? look no further -- warner has an arsenal of extra knowledge at the ready.

um?? so in love with chase??? it’s like. someone will say his name, or so much as mention something remotely related to him, and warner will turn into the mushiest, gushiest little sap. you’re wearing a white t-shirt, huh? that reminds him of the one time chase wore a white t-shirt -- and now he’s grinning and blushing like a fool.

alright it’s late and this got rambly, but yes!! pls plot with me? i promise i’m nice and i can offer you hypothetical cookies!! i probably won’t be on the dash until tomorrow night because i have some plans ( hooray social life?? emphasis on the question marks there ).

so yeah, shoot me an message on here or hit that mfing like and i’ll come to you! i am so heckin hyped to write with all of you! x

Walk A Mile In My Shoes...

Joseph slipped the amulet over his head and around his neck to try it on for size. It fit well but was garish and obscene, it stuck out like a sore thumb when compared to his wardrobe. A purchase for another he reasoned while slipping the dated piece of jewelry on the bust.

A short walk back to his apartment later and Joseph was getting ready for bed. As he climbed out of his nocturnal shower there was steam on the mirror which Joseph wiped away to reveal his skin lightly cooked by the hot water. The red quickly went away but there still remained a perfect circle burned into his chest. It was only 5 inches in diameter and when Joseph looked close he saw it had several small notches on the inside.

The next day after an uneventful night of sleep Joseph awoke and ate breakfast before dressing for work. The red circle he wore to sleep had turned a stark black on his chest and the notches numbered 21 around the ring. It was a simple empty shape that dominated Joseph’s chest, it could be seen through the plain white t-shirt he had worn to bed. He scrubbed and scrubbed away at the obvious black tattoo that now decorated his chest but it never relented. It still persisted through the suds and water splashed on it.

Joseph was running late and threw on whatever dark clothing would hide the mark on his chest. When he traced a finger over his chest Joseph could still feel the circle in perfect detail under all the layers of clothing between his finger and the mark.

His planning paid off and no one noticed the black line under his shirt but his coworkers were confused when he refused to take his jacket off in the middle of July. The day was uneventful except for a meeting he had with his direct superior. She was... to the point in Joseph’s descriptions for her. He dreaded that meeting even before some tattoo decided to magically appear on his chest with no explanation, but the meeting turned out differently than Joseph had envisioned. He knew all the questions thrown at him and answered them with the perfect cadence his superior had desired. They both left with their heads held high and all their mutual problems resolved.

Joseph left for the day with a pep in his step and raced home to begin scrubbing off that damn mark on his chest. All the chemical mixtures short of mustard gas that Jospeh created in a vain attempt to wipe the mark off his chest failed. Admitting defeat early in the morning he passed out while grabbing only a few hour’s sleep.

The next morning was met with frustration upon seeing the mark hadn't gone away. If anything, it grew. One of the notches that lined the inside had been filled in while Joseph slept and he did not like that at all. At this point, Joseph was done with it all and accepted the damn mark on his chest as a part of life.

Out the door and down the street Joseph stopped in a cafe for some coffee and accidentally ordered two drinks. One of which he reasoned he would never order for himself but didn't notice until he was down the street with two burning cups in his hands. He resolved to continue to his work and pass off the second cup to whoever wanted it, he had no time for his mistakes.

As he entered the rows of cubicles that made up the office floor he held the cup up high in the air and rattled off its contents to anyone who listened. A voice behind him answered him and asked him how he knew her favorite. Joseph turned around to find his boss standing before him with her hand out to take the cup from his burned hand. After a quick remark about his odor of cleaning chemicals she thanked him and left him standing there. She had never thanked anyone in the entire time she had been Joseph’s boss. He took it has a moment of pride and went about his day with a chip on his shoulder. The chip went away when the mark had another notch filled in the next day.

As the days went on, the notches accumulated with each day and interaction Joseph had with his superior. He picked up on her little quirks and urged his coworkers to do the same. Joseph could feel the stress leave his boss’s mind as he got the workplace running in tip-top shape. Mistakes were down and morale was high, but that probably had something to do with the boss being in a good mood 90% of the time.

As the counter on Joseph’s chest passed the halfway mark he began to notice small scars on his body. On the inside of his arms and legs, they grew with a formation hard to miss. They each were razor thin and only half an inch in length but looked old on his skin. Like Joseph had them for years and never noticed. They were easily covered by a t-shirt and modest shorts but it still worried Joseph. New imperfections on his body seemed commonplace these days so he paid it no mind.

Over the next week, Joseph developed a limb and terrible insomnia where he stayed up for days on end. He made a game out of it and watched his mark as closely as he could for the notch to fill in but never saw it. There was always something to catch Joseph’s eye just before it filled in so he never saw whatever put a marker to his chest. When he admitted defeat he went to go watch whatever mindnumbing show he could find to fall asleep to. Sleep never took him but he did find a terrible and cliche show that he had heard of but couldn't put his finger on where.

The day the final notch on his chest would be filled Joseph realized where he had heard of that terrible show he had loved so much. It was at work when he was eavesdropping on his superior and noted that she loved and hated the show all at once. And watched it to fall asleep when her insomnia kept her up. Then Joseph remembered her ankle she broke years ago but still had a limp from the healing process. In that instant, Joseph thought of his new scars and searched his mind desperately for a moment where he had seen those same scars on his boss. It was when a heatwave struck the town and the office’s AC was down for the day. Joseph remembers seeing tiny white lines near the hem of his boss’s sleeves and how desperate she was to keep them covered. Sleep took a hard hold of Joseph in that second right where he stood.

Joseph was fast asleep but dreamed that he was his superior. He walked down the stair in her home with the same limp that carried her from room to room. Watched the finale of that terrible show she was always prattling on about. And hid the same scars he had developed. Joseph ran into the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror and did not see his face. The face in the mirror matched his actions but the lips moved on their own. They kept repeating the words, “Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shows.” The words themselves slowed down in speed and took on a sinister tone that Joseph felt in his heart. Finally, he went to turn away but the mirror reached out and grabbed him by the chest. The image was demonic now, it had long pointy fingers and a shambly mane that grew out of a manged scalp. It pulled Joseph close and uttered with a vinegar breath, “Walk a mile in my shoes, but you do not have time to grow my blisters.” It let go of Joseph and he awoke in his home again.

Joseph bolted up from the heap he collapsed in and fumbled his way into the bathroom of his home. Flicking on the light he saw the area on his chest that bore the mark was tender and bloody.

The Exhaustive Train of Queer Decision Making

I remember watching Night of the Living Dead for the first time in my mid twenties and thinking to myself that I empathised deeply with those terrified people, trapped in a farmhouse late at night, surrounded by a horde of ghoulish creatures, shambling around looking every bit like normal people at first glance . I thought to myself — this is what it feels like to be at odds with society. This is how it feels when you’re the ones who don’t fit in. It feels like being locked in a small house, surrounded by a mob of ghouls, hungry for your flesh. It is difficult to express sometimes how it feels to have such a core part of your being be regarded as outside of what is ’normal’.  A lot of my experience of being queer, gender non conforming, or a faggot in general, is just being tired. Tired all the time. Everything is exhausting. Unimaginably so. I imagine that the experiences of all oppressed peoples align on this at some point. I used to be angry, and hold my ground, and speak my mind. But more and more these days, it feels like a war of attrition. It feels like a siege. I feel like those people trapped in that farm house in Night of the Living Dead, hounded by ordinary looking people, pounding at the doors and clawing at the windows. Once I had the desire to fight but now, I am older, and have lost the belly fire, and I’m just so, deeply, deeply tired.

Small things become huge ordeals when you do not conform. Things that for many people are utterly inconsequential for me have associated mental risk-assessments. Just a simple thing as mentioning a partner in passing becomes a small puzzle to navigate. Which word should I use? Should I use ‘partner’ in order to obfuscate my meaning, or should I just bulldoze the status quo and just say boyfriend? This again becomes even more calamitous if my current partner is also gender non-conforming and doesn’t want to be called a boyfriend or girlfriend because of the gender implications. I have learned to make these risk assessments very quickly. Who am I talking to? Is the conversation casual or formal? Who else is in the room? How likely am I to be grilled on my life experience? This is all the work that goes into the sentence: “I’m having dinner with my boyfriend tonight”.  Simple things. The way we sometimes frame ‘coming out’ is as a thing you do once, at sixteen, when you sit down with your mum and dad or parental guardian or whatever, and you admit that you’re a massive faggot and that you want to kiss boys instead of girls. Or vice versa. Or maybe you want to kiss both. Whatever it is, you have a sexuality (or gender identity) which is outside the heteronormative expectation.  It is, however, not as simple. It is sadly not something you can pluck up the courage for (what a brutal thing to expect young queer kids to go through by the way) perform once (and it is a performance) and be done with.  Coming out is something that must be done over and over and over again. It is something that happens whenever we meet new people. Whenever we start a new job. Whenever we join a new school. Whenever we take up a martial arts class, or a pottery class.  No matter how far in life we get, how comfortable we are — in any new experience, any new group, any new situation — until we have revealed that we are gay or queer or transgender or whatever — we are back ‘in the closet’; and it is as uncomfortable and lonely as it was when we were thirteen years old deleting our browser history on the family computer at one o’clock in the morning.  Isolation, and loneliness, and fear are part and parcel of being queer in the world we live in.  

And once again, every time we have to come out all over again, even if we want to, even if we are excited and proud to do so, we must make another internal risk assessment. Usually we will leave it a while before we admit to our sinful difference when starting a new job — scoping the territory, getting the lay of the land. We scope out who seems like a safe bet — “that person seems not too stern, they’re fairly young, they wear fashionable clothes, they seem like they’re probably not a bigot — not like that old grim looking man with the too tight necktie and the corduroy — he seems like a real fag basher”. I am being hyperbolic but also not quite. Sometimes it is often that black and white.

 In the workplace — or in school — these things matter but there are levels of protection.  There are rules in place that everyone needs to abide by. It’s unlikely that someone will just get up and sock me in the jaw in the middle of the office. Unlikely but it could still happen.

Coming out in public is an altogether different experience. The risk assessment process has to be completed quickly, and repeated, over and over, on a street by street basis.  It’s impossible to walk down the street side by side with my partner without constantly thinking about what everyone around me is thinking. Very small things, things we should take for granted, are calculated and considered. Holding hands, a peck on the cheek, hugging before they step onto the train, an arm around the waist.  It’s so deeply tiring to not be able to do these things without having to first scan the crowd around me and think about the consequences of my indiscretion. I have held many of my boyfriends’ hands in public and every time it felt like I was breaking some rule, engaging in something taboo — something filthy and sinful. It’s taken me a long time to realise that this is not my own personal moral failing but the moral failing of the society that ostracises and makes pariahs out of gays, lesbians, and transgender people. 

 The way queer people have been depicted in culture has been by and large a vision of Sodom and Gomorrah: fornicators, sexual deviants, something that needs to be cured, or wiped out, or punished. We are to be kept away from children, and the vulnerable. Growing up with this as a framework is hard work.  I remember feeling so utterly alone as a teenager, not knowing anyone who was like me, not knowing who I could talk to, not knowing what to do. I very clumsily came out quite early at school.  I remember ‘gay’ being thrown around as a pejorative in the same way I imagine a lot of people my age remember it. I was in a fairly unique position in my school in that I was exceptionally tall for my age and pretty much as open about being gay as a fourteen year old can be (in that I didn’t understand it at all but it was 2002 so we all knew who Graham Norton was).  Gay was something to be avoided. It meant you were lesser. It meant you weren’t a real boy. It meant you were a pansy, a girl, a sissy.  The truth is we were all of us working on the information we had at hand.  We all heard our family members subtly reinforcing this narrative at home whenever Dale Winton or Lilly Savage came on the television on Saturday Night.   All of us grew up in families that had lived through the AIDS crisis and the moral panics of the 60s and 70s. I heard stories about how my grandmother refused to visit her local hair salon for months after she found out her hairdresser was gay. I remember watching a television programme when I was a teenager. A gay character on screen kissed his partner. My grandfather, whom I loved dearly, said nothing and simply walked out of the room. It hurt me very deeply.

Both my grandparents are dead now and I never told them that I was gay.  I never felt I had the time, or the words. It never felt like the right place. I never felt like I had the right reason. It always felt narcissistic of me.  I remember when my grandmother was dying I visited her one last time in hospital and I regretted not talking about it then. I regretted it at the time but now, nearly ten years later I think I probably made the right decision. It was as my grandmother lay dying though that I came out to my mother. I was twenty-one. Something about the situation made me feel like I should be open finally about who I was.  I don’t regret not telling my grandparents I was gay — firstly because it would have caused extra tension and emotional difficulties which I already had enough of as a teenager to be perfectly honest, and secondly because it wouldn’t have made me feel much closer to them anyway.  What I do regret however is that it’s something that I even had to consider. I regret growing up in a world where that was something I had to keep secret. I regret growing up surrounded by people who made it very clear to me that they would be ashamed of me were I to reveal myself to be ‘one of those’.  I resent that I had to put up with that.  When I came out to my mother, both of us sat on my bed while everyone else was downstairs, she said something to me that glanced off my hardened emotional armour at the time, but that has since wormed its way inside me like an ancient piece of shrapnel in an old soldier — she said “I always knew”.  It meant nothing at the time. These were words I had come to expect.  The more I think about it, and I think more about it the older I get, I start to wonder to myself — if she always knew, why didn’t she help me? Why wasn’t she the emotional support society and the media and my school and my friends weren’t? It hurts now to think how much she left me to suffer alone in the darkness of my bedroom at night, thinking I was never going to feel the sort of love that everyone else got to. 

I still feel like those people trapped in the house, surrounded by zombies. Sometimes I worry that the further we progress towards liberation, the more precarious our situation. The height we climb is equal to the potential distance we could fall. In the last couple of years the struggle for queer liberation was focussed specifically on so-called ‘same sex marriage’ — the right for someone to marry a person of the same sex as themself.  It was a fight for me that felt like it had no particular weight.  Of course I feel I should be able to marry another person of my sex, should I choose to, and so should everyone else, but it felt like it didn’t address the real and tangible inequalities which add to a profile of persecution. A gay couple, married, perhaps even with children, will walk down the street making those same risk assessments as I do with my boyfriend, to whom I am not married. Very little has changed.  I still don’t feel safe. Every time I see a news story from the United States about the moves that administration is making towards curbing LGBTQ rights, when I see fascists being elected on ‘family values’ tickets in Brazil, or when I see opinion pieces in the Guardian claiming that giving trans people the right to claim their own identity is a moral dilemma here in Britain, I am reminded that we have so much to lose, and our victories are precarious and must be defended.  When the National Socialist party burned books in Germany in the 1930s, many of the books they burned contained over a decade worth of progressive research into sexuality and gender studies from the library of Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld and the archives of the Institute for Sexual Sciences in Berlin.  It is impossible to not remind myself of this, when my thinking gets complacent, when I think that what we have achieved can never be taken away. It is a terrifying thought, but it keeps me vigilant, and lights the fire within me to push harder always for the liberation of people like me. I think always to the future when we might live in a world where queer people can kiss in public, hold hands in public, and feel shame only for the tweeness of showing affection in public, not for who they are showing that affection to.  I don’t want the next generation to grow up feeling like those people trapped in a house, surrounded by ghouls, I want us to be able to grow up feeling comfortable with who we are, to be who we are without fear of reprisal.  I want to live in that world now.  There is still much work to do but I am no longer a scared and lonely little boy who can’t tell people who they are.  I want to know that there is a time, not long from now I hope, where we won’t have to worry about being who we are, and we won’t have to regret not having been honest and open about who we love.

Your Thursday Briefing – The New York Times

A virus setback in Hong Kong

After 23 days without any locally transmitted coronavirus infections, Hong Kong reported two new cases on Wednesday. A third case recorded on the same day was imported from Pakistan, bringing the city’s total number of infections to 1,051.

The new cases show the challenges of eradicating a community outbreak.

Hong Kong had begun to cautiously restart some previously restricted activities. Since last week, civil servants and other office workers have returned to their workplaces, and public venues like museums and libraries have partially reopened. Schools are slated to reopen in stages.

Here are the latest coronavirus updates, and maps of where the virus has spread.

In other developments:

New Zealand on Wednesday reported no new coronavirus infections for the second day in a row, and Thailand recorded no new cases in a day for the first time in more than two months.

With summer drawing near, the European Commission has announced its recommendation for easing travel restrictions across the 27 countries of the European Union. But each country is likely to create its own policies, making it hard to plan trips.

In the U.S., the Federal Reserve chairman, Jerome Powell, said the central bank’s efforts to stem the damage to the nation’s economy wouldn’t be enough to address a downturn that is “without modern precedent.” Wall Street stocks tumbled after his statement.

A German traveler who spent almost eight weeks in New Delhi’s international airport during the coronavirus lockdown finally left on Tuesday, on a flight to Amsterdam. Airport employees had provided the traveler, Edgard Ziebart, with meals, a mosquito net and toothpaste.

The Times is providing free access to much of our coronavirus coverage, and our Coronavirus Briefing newsletter — like all of our newsletters — is free. Please consider supporting our journalism with a subscription.

Fighting for survival in the auto industry

The auto industry was bracing for a brutal year even before the coronavirus idled factories, closed dealerships and sent sales into a free fall. Now, it’s a battle for survival.

The big question: Will the crisis change the kinds of cars that buyers want? Gas is cheap, so S.U.V.s might be attractive. But buyers may also want to keep the cleaner air they’ve experienced. Much will depend on government incentives and regulations. Europe and China are doing more than the U.S. to promote electric cars.

If you have 7 minutes, this is worth it

A ‘cafeteria’ for pathogens in Indonesia

Environmentalists have repeatedly urged Indonesian officials to close the Tomohon Extreme Market, where butchers cut up bats, rats, snakes and lizards taken from the wilds of Sulawesi Island. Now, the coronavirus pandemic is putting fresh pressure on the officials to take action.

“The market is like a cafeteria for animal pathogens,” said Wiku Adisasmito, the lead expert on Indonesia’s coronavirus task force. “Consuming wild animals is the same as playing with fire.”

We took a close look at the market, one of the largest in the region.

Here’s what else is happening

Pompeo in Israel: With Israel preparing to annex territory in the occupied West Bank, the U.S. secretary of state, Mike Pompeo, is in Jerusalem for talks on the American proposal to settle the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and on efforts to stop Iran’s nuclear project and fight the coronavirus. Friction over Chinese investments in Israel is also on the agenda.

U.S. presidential campaign: Former Vice President Joe Biden, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, has unified the party and is leading in the polls. But our team of political reporters finds that he has yet to prove himself as a formidable nominee, and his campaign has so far not solved the challenges of running for the White House from the seclusion of his home.

Featured video: Above, enjoying a sprinkled cone from an ice cream truck in New York City. Godfrey Robinson has driven his Fun-Time Frostee truck along the same route for 26 years, and the pandemic hasn’t stopped him.

What we’re listening to: Slate’s “Working” podcast. “Listening to Rumaan Alam and Isaac Butler address productivity in creative work is extremely relevant to my interests right now,” writes Taffy Brodesser-Akner, a feature writer on the Times Magazine. “This is my favorite episode so far, with the crime novelist Megan Abbott talking process of writing across platforms and about ‘Michael Clayton,’ one of my favorite screenplays.”

Now, a break from the news

Cook: Melissa Clark’s easy, crunchy baked mac and cheese comes together directly in the pan, without having to boil the macaroni first.

At Home offers many more ideas on what to read, cook, watch and do while staying safe at home.

And now for the Back Story on …

Four quarantines on two continents

Amy Qin, one of our China correspondents, was crowned the Quarantine Queen by her friends after going through four rounds of self-isolation in four cities on both sides of the Pacific. Each offered a window into the different ways governments were grappling with the virus.

Here are excerpts from her Quarantine Dispatch, lightly edited for clarity.

Quarantine #1: San Diego, after arriving on the last State Department-arranged flight to evacuate Americans from Wuhan, China.

Face masks were not required. And though we were confined to one area of a military base, we were still permitted to mingle. After having seen the frenzied rush to procure masks in China, the lax guidelines struck me as odd.

Quarantine #2: Beijing, after returning to China via South Korea.

The local authorities knew about my Seoul layover and wanted to put me in state-supervised quarantine, possibly at a government site, but I completed this round of self-confinement at home. I only left a few times to walk the dog — always with a mask on.

I never heard back from the authorities. To me, it was China’s response to the epidemic in a nutshell: effective if heavy-handed, and not always fail-safe.

Quarantine #3: Los Angeles, after being expelled along with a number of other American journalists.

The official guidance on masks was all over the place. Testing was in a shambles. Discrimination against Asian-Americans was on the rise. Though I had my temperature checked at Los Angeles International Airport, someone forgot to collect the form that I had filled out with my local contact information and health status. I didn’t realize it until later.

For days, I holed up in a lovely Airbnb cottage in Venice.

Quarantine #4: Taipei, my new reporting base.

After multiple heath checks at the airport, I went straight to my hotel, where I was met outside by a worker in a protective suit, mask and goggles who disinfected my suitcases. He was the last human being I saw for two weeks.

Every day, I reported my temperature to the hotel and my health status to the Taiwanese government. Three times a day, a hotel employee came by to hang a takeout meal on a plastic hook that had been affixed to the door. After two weeks, I was finally released.

That’s it for this briefing. See you next time.

— Carole

Thank you To Melissa Clark for the recipe, Theodore Kim and Jahaan Singh for the rest of the break from the news. You can reach the team at [email protected].

P.S. • We’re listening to “The Daily.” Our latest episode is about the debate at the Supreme Court over Trump’s financial records and presidential power. • Here’s our Mini Crossword, and a clue: Emperor during the Great Fire of Rome (four letters). You can find all our puzzles here. • Elizabeth Paton, our London-based reporter on fashion and the luxury industry, was the focus of an extended interview in Fashionista about how she became such a power player in the field.

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Welcome to the Wednesday Walk Around the Web, where we weave & wind through weblinks weekly. Hopefully you will find the links on offer amusing, interesting, or informative.

This Week in Music: Pianist Nahre Sol does a magnificent job showing 16 levels of musical complexity and compositional techniques by manipulating “Happy Birthday” over and over again.

I’m a big believer in controlling your inputs, which in our media landscape (including social media) involves limiting your exposure to myriad bigotries, educating yourself about them, and finding things you enjoy that rejuvenate your stores of kindness and empathy. Not flinching and looking away from horrors, but also exposing yourself to things that will recharge you instead of reinforcing the hateful garbage that our culture is built on. Things like this anti-hate pop culture syllabus are very helpful for this last point.

One man in Iowa was recently fined for checking queer-positive children’s books out of a local library and performatively burning them, in case you’re wondering whether we’re at the book-burning stage over here.

This Week in Video Games: After more than 20 years, it’s finally time to celebrate Dune 2000.

For those of us in the US, if you want to see who in your community is donating to the president’s reëlection campaign, go here and search for your ZIP code. (You can also clear the candidate filter to see what other donations are coming from your region.) It’s not the only or even the best way to find out which of your neighbors you can’t trust, but it’s one way to start.

Composer Alf Clausen scored the first five thousand seasons of The Simpsons, until he was unceremoniously fired in 2017. Now he’s suing Fox for age and disability discrimination in his firing.

Were I to write a horror anthology about chilling and terrifying nightmares set in the workplace, one of the stories would absolutely be about your boss asking to go over your household budget.

In Virginia, one mysterious resident with a television for a head deposited dozens of TVs on people’s porches. It’s always thrilling to see the birth of a new cryptid, haunting the surveillance devices some folks planted on their front doors.

This Week in Good Dogs: Who’s a good dog? Service dogs are good dogs.

This Week in Possibilities: We have the technology to put the Golden Girls into every movie, and frankly it’s a travesty that we don’t use it. If we can slam-jam the shambling corpse of Peter Cushing into Star Wars movies, dammit, we can put Bea Arthur in them too.

I know next to nothing about tarot; I tend to mentally file it in the same category as astrology. However, if you’re doing tarot readings using the Star Trek: The Next Generation Collectible Card Game, you absolutely have my attention. You know, now that I think about it, I am a little bit like the crystalline entity.

This Week in Fashion Tips: Adversarial Fashion is designed to be picked up by license plate readers, as a very small way to jam up systems that use license plates to track people.

Friend of the Walk Brad Hindscrooge brings word of a massive bubble forming in video game collecting, where mint-condition boxes and cartridges for Nintendo games are skyrocketing in speculative value. If you still have anything in decent condition rattling around, you might as well relieve someone who has way too much money of a portion of their holdings.

A couple of years ago, the US Navy destroyer USS John S. McCain crashed into a Liberian oil tanker, spawning a wide array of theories about how such a thing could happen, ranging from incompetence to miscommunication to exhaustion due to lack of sleep. A new report seems to indicate that it was mostly caused by a terrible user interface for the navigational controls and confusion arising from people at multiple workstations trying to take control at once(!).

Is a possessed Big Mouth Billy Bass just a god who tries to break into our world by the shortest path?