this skrunkly man is absolutely ermine energy

FPP from the Hex is so funny. Imagine you’re just chilling out at a shitty motel and then you slowly learn that Everyone around you has experienced and/or committed atrocities beyond your comprehension. One of them is 16 years old. Another was possessed by a shitty college roommate. The video game government knocks at the door with an arrest warrant and you haven’t even ordered a drink yet.

That stoat guy x Emerald Stoat x Lindsay Weasel is perfect and I love them!!! What shall we name the stoat guy?

Someone suggested Elmo but I fucking refuse so here are some things qbout Stoat Guy so we can get hook a better name

He's kind of a wannabe Chief Weasel (he dresses a little extra)

He's emo

He is in fact a stoat

We aren't naming him Elmo

Although Xie Lian could not appear before Hong’er as his prince and god, on days where offerings to Taizi Dianxia are scarce and Hong’er has no food to eat from Xie Lian’s roadside shrine, a pearly white stoat appears, delivering nuts, berries, and meat.

At the height of his power, it takes almost no effort at all for Xie Lian to create clones, especially one that is just a weasel whose consciousness lingers in his periphery. On days where delivering rain to Yong An felt especially fruitless, he can take some comfort from knowing that he was able to care for at least one of his followers.

When night falls, Stoatlian curls into Hong’er’s chest. Warms him with his spiritual power. He knows that Hong’er would not ask him for warmth otherwise, would rather freeze and starve than take anything from his god, so he gives what little he could as discretely as he could. No one else knows about Xie Lian’s secret, which is fine by him. He’d rather not incur the wrath of the heavens. (No. That comes later.)

Unbeknownst to him, Hong’er could recognize Taizi Dianxia in any shape and form.

Close up:

Okay so if you haven’t seen, but I’m like a big fan of how so many Danmei characters have like animals that can like represent them (I just imagine them all in like some kind animal crossing world and it just makes me happy!)

So I wanted to put out a list of the ones that I’m pretty confident on, but I’d also love to hear any other opinions! I am going to put the list below the cut! I also wanted to pose two questions.

Question one: Okay so I have begun Clear and Muddy loss of water (what can I say, I’m a hopeless sapphic, it was basically a requirement at this point) and I’m not far enough in yet to come up with any animal match ups for them! I would love to hear from anyone about your opinions, what animals would you associate with Qiyan and Jingnu? I’d love to hear in the comments or feel free to message me in either tumblr messaging or from my ask box! I need to know others opinions!

Question 2: Is there other Danmei / Baihe novels that you all recommend or any poll ideas you want to see? I am all ears! Like above, reach out in the comments, messaging, or askbox! I look forward to hearing from people!

Onto my list! I am currently sticking to the official couples, though I would love peoples opinions on some of the other ships and characters!

So for Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan, I feel like there are 2 common ones. One of course is the ever popular and official on the special edition book cover bunnies, which I love! I have also seen them as a fox and dragon though, which I am not opposed to!

Hua Cheng is a fox and I have seen that Xie Lian Is a ferret/weasel, though my friend brought up that they say someone say he was really a stoat, which I personally love and agree, cute and stuff, but can also take down a bunny twice it’s size with ease, I feel like it is Xie Lian Vibes!

Shen Qingqui is a cat, and Luo Binghe is a fluffy dog, nuff said!

Mobei Jun was pretty unanimously a snow leopard, and Shang Qinghua is very much a Hamster!

Mo ran is a husky and chu wanning is a white cat ( the title totally didn’t give anything away…)

Shen Qiao is a deer is what I’ve seen most often and Yan Wushi is a wolf (GAHHH I LOVE THOSE TWO!!)

When I solidify more of the animal match ups of different characters (including the non canon ships) I will reblog the post and add them on!

Well, in Mickey fashion, I don't think they'd confirm nor deny this. However, considering their slippery nature and being a brutally efficient predator, I'd imagine they'd be a weasel, stoat, or some other mutselid in that family :)

-🍊

I am actually astonished that you managed to get this close. Some more fun facts about mickeys transformation you're spot on about wich family group he's in.

Domesticated Species.

Comes in albino flavours.

Has been used to hunt rabbits

Poor eyesight

Very sleepy.

Decided to draw a fullbody of Yosuke cause I wanted to see what he'd look like with the small legs, and I'm pretty satisfied but I'm not too sure about his arms

Now some design notes:

He's a stoat/least weasel hybrid but he's referred to as a weasel

I'm aware weasels and stoats have five digits on all four paws, but I stylized his legs with four toes for this picture (but I'd draw him with five toes if I feel like it)

Changed how I stylize his hair but still looks off for me

I found out he actually dyes his hair (because of a Persona Q image I found that calls him "boy with dyed hair", but his fur is naturally brown in this AU

As a tradeoff, his fur turns white in the winter (usually takes him about a week or two to fully ditch his brown fur for the winter)

Also here's a winter fur alt because I felt like making it:

PLEASE talk more about your Terror animal AU!!!!!! Also your choices were so good hngsksks Nedward as a nervous little horse, Blanky as a badger, Goodsir is so sheep-coded,,,,,,,what would you pick for Crozier? Fitzjames? Also curious if Hickey would be a rat in this AU bc canon aligns him with rats or if you’d go with something else? !!!Anyways cool idea cool art excited for more!!!

Thank you so much for this ask, I would love nothing more!

So for this AU I’ve tried to strike a balance between visual resemblance and where the characters grew up, since I think there’s less leeway than, say, in a dæmon AU. So Nedward who was born around Hackney is a very close match while for Goodsir I’ve gone a bit further north for the Soay sheep because it looks more like him.

I am partial to the ginger cat vibe that Crozier has, and I’ve certainly seen him portrayed that way by other artists. I think he might be a Manx cat, because of the myths about them arriving from the sea and their popularity as ship’s cats, and the Admiralty certainly talks behind his back about whether he might have lost his tail to frostbite somehow.

For Fitzjames I think he’s some kind of sighthound. This period is before a lot of breed standards were established, but most people assume he’s a saluki or something of that ilk because they’ve just come over to Britain from the mainland and so he’s regarded as terribly in-fashion. Fitzjames himself doesn’t quite know what he is but suspects he’s a mongrel.

As for Hickey? Well his papers say he’s a weasel. The black tip on his tail is because he dipped it in the tar by accident, to misidentify him as a stoat is really quite rude…

Some characters as animals I think they’d be =] (mostly just based off the vibes I get from them lol)

Nigel- Cat (Mistaken for a sphinx because of the fact he’s hairless, but he’s like a British shorthair or something)

Hoagie- Dog (specifically an Alaskan Malamute)

Kuki- Either a bat or a crane like in op Graduates I can’t decide

Wally- Wallaby obviously!!

Abby- Gazelle

Lizzie- Tree frog

Fanny- Fox

Rachel- Raccoon

Patton- Goat

Herbie- Deer

Bartie- Hare

Virginia- Crow or Raven?

Sonia- Gecko

Lee- Hedgehog

Chad- Sparrowhawk

Maurice- Weasel or any animals related to weasels like stoats or polecats

Bruce and Alessandra: Rats (I think these two are actually siblings so I haven’t thought of them as different animals sorry!)

Lenny: Turtle/Tortoise

David: Cattle (specifically Highland Cattle)

Constance: Bird (specifically any Nightjar bird)

Mama to Mama

At the instant Tartaglia, the 11th Harbinger, was dispatched in Fontaine, the Nation of croissants and Justice, he knew what he would do!

Going to fight a Dragon like he used to do in Liyue?

Of course not!

He bought a little boat and rowed it until he would reach a nice little area over the sea. If it had been Liyue or Snezhnaya, which he knew a lot, he would probably have jumped in the water and try to wrestle any fish he might found. He had so much fun fighting some Dragon–it always came back to it–fishes in Liyue or catch with his own hand Goliath creature be it fishes or crabs. But he didn’t know Fontaine and if he loved a challenge, he also knew it would be stupid to jump right into the waves without a second thought.

On his boat, his fishing-rod dangling in the water and lot of baits in different container that he gathered himself, Tartaglia could enjoy some leisure time. He could look at the fishes and by extent the water fauna and analyse their way to live. He spotted jellyfishes waltzing in group and even an octopus! That made him drool when thinking about making his speciality and then even laugh as he remembered himself the face Zhongli did the one time he served some to him. It was before he knew about Zhongli’s phobias! How could he even know? Zhongli always brought him at the seafood restaurant to make him happy. After that, Tartaglia surely put even more effort to cook for him.

He stroked his belly with a smile at the thought of Liyue.

Of Zhongli.

He went there back for his birthday. It was his little pleasure: going to Liyue to see the man who dared to steal his heart. And as it was his birthday he received a delicious present. Zhongli loved him too much and he felt like he couldn’t give enough love in return. Here was a challenge he could try to hold back.

Loving this God as much as he loved him.

Zhongli cheated, though! He had so many years to learn to love this much.

Lost in his thoughts, Tartaglia stopped to look at the fairy of water. Until he heard a squeak. A deep sound of despair.

He snapped himself back to reality only to see a long creature climb into his boat.

“Well, hello you?”

The creature hummed at him, that long sound of despair adding itself every now and then. The animal came to the edge of the ship and pointed its pink nose to a direction then came back to Tartaglia and this too many time in a row for it to be a simple coincidence.

“What is happening?” Tartaglia asked. “You want something? Food?”

The creature redid the same following of movement, squeaking to the distance, pawing at the ground with haste.

“You want to go there?”

The animal squeaked.

“And I have to row, uh?” he teased.

Tartaglia pulled out his rod from the water and installed himself in the boat, rowing towards the direction the creature was looking at.

He thought they looked like those stoats, ferrets and other weasels there were in Liyue. He remembered sawing some with Yoimiya in Inazuma, but mostly in Liyue. There was this long and elegant appearance to them. Except this one was huge. And it kept squeaking with an evident distress.

“You tell me if I go to the wrong direction, yes?”

The creature looked at him.

Did they even understand him? Or was Tartaglia simply weird?

As he kept rowing, they slowly approached some reefs. He had to pull away from there. It was mostly coral but he didn’t plan to crash his ship right away.

But at the instant he started to change direction, the creature became excited again, looking at the reef.

What?

Was it a creature of death who wanted to end him?!

But Tartaglia grasped something. A sound. A long meep. Panicked.

Tartaglia frowned.

He rowed back to the reef, more cautious. The creature pawed again, the tail bristled.

Tartaglia rowed faster.

And then… he saw it.

Them.

A tiny creature alike the first one, between two rocks and some corals. It meeped panicked and happy at once, spotting them.

The big one jumped in the waves and swum to the little one, grabbing them in their… her probably big arms and brought them over their fluffy belly. They started to chip, happily, pressing their head against each other.

Tartaglia approached enough to see if everything was going alright. No blood in the waves? No wounds…

“You lost your baby, uh? Your baby decided to play a big adventure and lost himself?”

He smiled but he could only think about Teucer. He would have been like this as well if ever he had learned from Tonia Teucer went missing before finding him in Liyue.

“I have the same at…” He hesitated. “…home.” Tartaglia smiled. “Anyway! I’m so happy you found each other back! Do you want me to bring you somewhere?”

The creature must have some understanding of what he was saying because she put her baby in the boat and jumped in it as well. Installed in the boat, she started to lick her baby, giving him a nice bath. Tartaglia laughed and pressed his hand over his belly once again, stroking it gently.

The Crooked Man pt 2

So far we have had no crooked men, miles, sixpences or stiles. I feel a little bereft.

We do however have a corpse, and like so many things, that's a lot more fun in fiction than it would be in real life.

We also have questions: Who else was in the room? Where is the key? Is David a character or a biblical reference? Was this all a swingers evening gone wrong? Why was the door locked? Why did Nancy ask for tea when she usually doesn't?

The paper was covered with the tracings of the foot-marks of some small animal. It had five well-marked foot-pads, an indication of long nails, and the whole print might be nearly as large as a dessert-spoon. “It's a dog,” said I.

Ah nuts, is Watson going to kill this one, too?

“Did you ever hear of a dog running up a curtain? I found distinct traces that this creature had done so.” “A monkey, then?” “But it is not the print of a monkey.”

Yeah, monkeys have tiny little hands. A cat? They sometimes climb curtains. I'm sure a dog could climb a curtain in the right circumstances.

“Neither dog nor cat nor monkey nor any creature that we are familiar with."

Ferret. I'm going with ferret, although I will accept an alternative mustelidae relative. Probably not a honey badger. Probably...

"You have an indication, you see, of a long body with very short legs attached to it."

Ferret!

Watson, please don't shoot the ferret. I will be very sad if you shoot the ferret.

"On the whole, it was probably some creature of the weasel and stoat tribe—and yet it is larger than any of these that I have seen.”

The honey badger can have a canary, as a treat.

(If it isn't a honey badger now, I'm gonna be so sad. It's a honey badger in my heart.)

"We know, also, that he ran across the lawn, entered the room, accompanied by a strange animal, and that he either struck the Colonel or, as is equally possible, that the Colonel fell down from sheer fright at the sight of him"

"Now, it was equally certain that, immediately on her return, she had gone to the room in which she was least likely to see her husband, had flown to tea as an agitated woman will..."

So the tea is because she was agitated? Okay, I guess I can allow that. It is the British way: crisis = tea. Fair.

"I saw a man coming towards us with is back very bent, and something like a box slung over one of his shoulders. He appeared to be deformed, for he carried his head low and walked with his knees bent."

One (1) 'Crooked' man, check.

Miss Morrison is a good friend, very supportive of her. She is being very rude about this man - Henry - though. 'dreadful looking creature'. He's just a man. Possibly a murderer, true, but there's no need to be quite so rude. Another to join the Watson Society of Judgemental Descriptions.

“‘“I thought you had been dead this thirty years, Henry,” said she, in a shaking voice.'"

So it is a past husband? Right? Right?

Also, I'd like to take a moment to appreciate the amount of nested inverted commas here. This is reported speech within reported speech within reported speech. Double in single in double. I don't think I've ever actually noticed someone doing that before. I know this has nothing really to do with the story, but it's kind of impressive, no?

"'He had a very dark, fearsome face, and a gleam in his eyes that comes back to me in my dreams. His hair and whiskers were shot with gray, and his face was all crinkled and puckered like a withered apple.'"

Clearly we are meant to think of this man as a villain, but I don't want to. Guy's got wrinkles and some sort of disability, so far all he's done is recognise a lady. We've had far creepier people in these stories who everyone's gushed about. I'm on team Henry - for now. Maybe for always.

"The man is by trade a conjurer and performer, going round the canteens after nightfall, and giving a little entertainment at each."

Oh yeah, team Henry absolutely. He's a travelling conjurer of cheap magic tricks?

Although... he does keep a honey badger locked up in a box and brings it out to perform for money. Gosh darn it! This is why we can't have nice things.

Fine, Henry is guilty of animal cruelty and I hope the honey badger eats him. Are you happy ACD? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

"She showed it to me, Watson, and it was an Indian rupee."

I thought Indian when they said monkey earlier, because in part one they mentioned the Colonel being involved in the Mutiny - which I assume was one of the Indian Mutinies - but then we went onto mustelidae. And I'm pretty sure the honey badger is native to Africa... oh no, oh no, oh no, I am wrong. It is native to India. HONEY BADGER CONSPIRACY IS BACK IN BUSINESS.

Unless the guy is a were-honey badger. (I mean obviously not really, but that's going in the supernatural Holmes universe in my head as well).

Also it could be a type of marten, but while team Henry has been abandoned, team Honey Badger is going strong.

The man sat all twisted and huddled in his chair in a way which gave an indescribably impression of deformity; but the face which he turned towards us, though worn and swarthy, must at some time have been remarkable for its beauty.

So Watson thinks he's hot? Or he was hot? Coolcool. Not the description I was expecting here.

"There were two men that loved her, and one that she loved, and you'll smile when you look at this poor thing huddled before the fire, and hear me say that it was for my good looks that she loved me."

Well, Watson apparently won't. But it's definitely looking like it's an accidental bigamy situation. I hate it when that happens. Also... liking him for his looks is not the basis for a strong relationship. I hope she liked you for other things, too.

"But the real blow was to my heart and not to my head, for as I came to and listened to as much as I could understand of their talk, I heard enough to tell me that my comrade, the very man who had arranged the way that I was to take, had betrayed me by means of a native servant into the hands of the enemy."

Alas, Colonel Barclay, you were a dick. Congratulations on a truly terrible case of being a poor loser. She didn't want you, just fucking deal with it, my dude. Don't betray your own fucking men. Terrible plan. 0/10. Your death was utterly deserved.

So Henry was tortured and enslaved and permanently disabled, yeah. And also left with so much internalised ableism that he can't bear to go home and be seen like that. Henry, if you weren't super guilty of animal cruelty, I would be fully on your side. I mean I am on your side... just... why do you keep a honey badger in a box?

"But he was dead before he fell. I read death on his face as plain as I can read that text over the fire. The bare sight of me was like a bullet through his guilty heart.”

Good riddance.

I am amused by how things like this happen in victorian fiction, though. Just one look at the guy and he keels over dead.

“It's a mongoose,” I cried.

...

Fine... Honey badger conspiracy is out. But mongeese are pretty cool, too. I've always thought of them as being pretty small, though, but the internet tells me they can be anywhere from 9 inches to 23 inches long. So they are both small and larger, I guess. They're also not mustelids, so there's that.

Also, I should have guessed this, because it's one of my favourite Terry Pratchett quotations and this part is out on the Glorious 25th of May:

'...the trouble with small furry animals in a corner is that, just occasionally, one of them's a mongoose.'

Well it definitely was this time. GNU Terry Pratchett, I should always listen to you.

Honey badger was probably too big to climb up a curtain...

Still shouldn't keep a mongoose in a box and force it to perform, though.

“But if not, there is no object in raking up this scandal against a dead man, foully as he has acted."

I mean, on the one hand, sure, but on the other hand Drag his Ass.

“Yes; David strayed a little occasionally, you know, and on one occasion in the same direction as Sergeant James Barclay. You remember the small affair of Uriah and Bathsheba?"

I may have been wrong about the honey badger, but I was right about the biblical reference. Little wins, amirite?

Turns out Colonel Barclay was as big a dick as the 'violence and vindictiveness' indicated. Alas.

BUT, Watson didn't shoot any animals. Yay.

Although poor Teddy is still shut up in a box and Henry also has a cobra in there that he tortures for the amusement of people in bars.

The next one is another 4-parter, so plenty of time for me to make up harebrained theories about mustelidae.

MOON 13

While helping to reinforce the camp walls, Berrypaw got a thorn stuck in his paw. Rivernose has recovered from his dislocated joint. Stoatkit has recovered from yellowcough.

This moon’s story under the cut!

“I’m an evil rogue!” Gladekit yelped, pouncing on his brother and hissing playfully. Stoatkit tumbled backwards and grinned, joy sparkling in his eyes.

“I’m a mighty Antclan warrior, and I’ll fight you any day!” Stoatkit exclaimed, waggling his hindquarters and leaping high into the air. Gladekit dodged and rolled out of the way, giggling as he dug his paws into the dirt.

Badgerdust watched from the medicine den as his kits played together, overjoyed that Stoatkit had finally recovered from his long illness. All he had ever wanted was for his two sons to bond, and now they finally would—even if they were almost apprentices.

“They look happy.” Berrypaw remarked as he chewed up a poultice, holding up his sore paw in preparation for applying the paste.

“They are.” Badgerdust replied softly. “I can’t wait for them to train together.”

Berrypaw nodded happily, applying the poultice gently to his paw pad. Badgerdust watched him for a moment or two, before turning back to his kits.

“Watch out, I’m an eagle and I’m going to grab you!” Stoatkit was meowing, hopping around and flapping his paws like wings.

“Not if I grab you first!” Gladekit retorted, swiping at Stoatkit playfully and skidding over the dusty earth. The two toms scampered around the clearing, weaving in between the legs of warriors as materials were moved in and out of camp.

Sunleopard stumbled over Gladekit as he scurried away from Stoatkit. She had been carrying a large quantity of sticks and grass, some of which tumbled to the floor as she tripped.

“Watch it!” She hissed, skirting out of the rambuctious kits’ path. Gladekit and Stoatkit circled back, looking vaguely embarrassed.

“Sorry Sunleopard..” Stoatkit apologised, shuffling his paws. Gladekit glanced over his shoulder to see his father, Badgerdust, glaring at him from the entrance of the medicine den.

Panicking, Gladekit picked up a few of the smaller twigs and handed them back to the ginger she-cat. “Yeah, sorry.” He muttered.

Sunleopard sighed. “I’ve got to say, I can’t wait until you’re apprenticed. Ever since Stoatkit got better you’ve been nothing but trouble.”

Gladekit and Stoatkit exchanged mischevious glances. “Well, it won’t be long now.” Stoatkit told the warrior. “I’m going to be Stoatpaw soon.”

“And I’ll be Gladepaw!” Gladekit added excitedly, standing up straighter and closing his eyes as if imagining his ceremony.

Stoatkit rolled his eyes and smirked. “I suppose. But Stoatpaw sounds way better than Gladepaw.” He bragged, swaggering away from Sunleopard.

“No way! No cat even knows what a stoat is!” Gladekit protested, darting after his brother.

“It’s like a weasel, sort of.” Stoatkit informed him. “I’ve never seen one, but I bet it’s cool.”

Badgerdust listened in to his kits’ childish bickering and purred. He may not have been cured of yellowcough yet, but at least Stoatkit had.

He just wished that he could keep his sons like this forever, carefree youngsters with no idea of the scary world beyond the camp walls.

omg stoat and glade are best buddies i love them so much, next moon is their apprentice ceremony!!

Gender Swap AU 

Well folks, it’s a genderbent AU! This isn’t based on any particular adaptation of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It’s less “This story, but w/ the characters as the opposite sex”, and more “How would their personalities/vices be applied to the opposite sex?” Ya get my drift? No? Well let’s dive head first into this anyways — ladies, gentlemen, and everything in between, I present to you: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Genderbend AU. First, a quick shoutout to Illord aka @mask131 for his assistance as I pretty much used bits and pieces of our conversation(s) we had with each other; w/ some minor edits. 

1) Left to right: Willa Wonka, Charlie Bucket, Augusteen Gloop, Vernon Salt, Michelle TeaVee, Victor “Violet” Beauregarde. 

Wonka Wonka (???): Here, her personality is a mix of Ms. Frizzle, Mary Poppins and Wonka (of course). Not much of a change honestly. She has a bit more sass and giddiness to her overall character I’d suppose. Charlie Bucket (13): Like always, Charlie character is kind and honest. I based her design based off old Cinderella storybook illustrations. Like Cinderella, she wishes to see the factory and a have better life for her family. I’m thinking she’d work at a diner as a waitress/cleaner. (Didn’t change her name cause Charlie can be used by both sexes XP). Augusteen Gloop (11): The gluttonous girl here is the product of the Fat Acceptance Movement; who her mother strongly supports. She encourages her daughter to eat excessively and unhealthily foods to maintain her “perfect figure” in an act of defiance against society’s views on what a woman’s figure should be (doing more harm than good to her daughter’s health). This is meant to be a jab at how both sides of the spectrum (underweight, overweight) are both equally unhealthy and bad for the body and there should be balance. Meets her endgame when she falls into the river and is sucked up the pipe. Her mother, like I said before, showss off Augusteen as a goood representation of the big beautiful women of the world; which truth being that the little girl is just a candy-addict deep down, a true junk food junkie. For the her demise, she falls into a stawberry chocolate river — cause you know, pink is commonly associated w/ girls and this a genderbend and all that.   Vernon Salt (15): At first glance, Vernon is a very posh, very polite and typical snobbish upper class boy, the kind that has received a higher education and acts in a very adult, in a disdainful way... but, as soon as something is he wants is denied from him, he quickly becomes a childish spoiled brat, stomping his fit, using childish insults, crying, wailing and running to his parents. He constantly belittles others and flaunts his wealth and privilege to others w/ his many fur coats, trinkets and other valuable possessions. He wears these large fur coats as a means of making himself more imposing to others (i.e. Cruella de Vil). He meets his endgame in the Trail Mix Room, a stand-in for the Nut Room, where the ingredients of trail mix (berries, grains, nuts, chocolate) are sorted. Wonka uses highly trained weasels/stoat to sniff out anything that’s gone bad. When he goes down to claim one of them for himself he is attacked by the furry critters because of the scent of his fur coat — it being made from rabbit’s fur (an animal that is regularly hunted and eaten by stoats) and in the scuffle, he loses his coat to the weasels and trips falls down the garbage chute. Michelle TeaVee (16): Is a self proclaimed feminist/women’s rights activist (when in reality, it’s just an excuse for her to be rude to others and think highly of herself). She binge watches the news and relays what the TV says to others. Adding nothing new to the topic(s) she talks about having no original thoughts or opinions. Not even bothering to fact check them. She continually questions or “corrects” Wonka throughout the tour, which she pays no attention to and gives snappy rebuttals to her mumbling. Michelle spends her days watching TV nonstop, to prove how sexist and mysoginistic television is in general and fight to change television so that women have power - but in doing so, her wish for a "better television" is also sexist, but towards men (and even other races/cultures); mocking them, sticking them into the same stereotypes women are stuck into, etc. Her parents don’t really know what to do with her as a majority of the time they haven’t a clue on what she’s rambling about thus letting her get away w/ whatever (property damage, harassment, etc.) Victor Beauregarde (16): Victor “Violet” Beauregarde is a pro sportsman (who obnoxiously chews the same stick of gum constantly), but he only specialized in the type of sports that don't require a lot of physical effort and movement. Golfing, ping-pong, bowling or other soft sports for example. Stuff that really rich people with a lot of free time do, reinforcing the idea that his skill/talents are only skin-deep. He is very entitled, obnoxious, rude and believes no harm can befall upon him for his actions as his parents are always there to take care of it for him. He lacks foresight and lacks responsibility. Being a rather clueless idiot. He was given the nickname, “Violet” as a result of his vaguely violet coloured eyes (when really, they’re just blue), a physical trait that his folks have turned into his whole shtick as a means of helping him stand out amongst the crowd. Meets his endgame when he takes an experimental chewing gum despite Wonka’s warnings and turns into a big blueberry and has to be rolled off to be dejuiced. The dessert of the three course meal gum is changed to some other blueberry treat.  2) Victor Talking about his many accomplishments; one, of course, being the record holder for the longest chewed piece of gum. Charlie Bucket is extremely grateful and full of joy that she was the one to find the last golden ticket to visit the factory and meet Wonka. Vernon Salt flaunts his incredible wealth as well as his golden ticket. Acting as if it were the only one in the whole entire world. Augusteen Gloop doesn't talk a whole lot. Just stands there and smiles for the camera (as her mother is the one whose doing all the talking). Michelle TeaVee isn’t even talking about the golden ticket or the factory, but is ranting about politics n' other stuff. The reporter is utterly helpless and terrified.

3) - Charlie finding her Golden Ticket.  - Wonka basically telling Michelle to "shut it".  - Vernon (in a smaller coat he was wearing underneath his bigger one) having one of his temper tantrums.  - Augusteen fantasizing about what else? Food. - Victor now as a blueberry. 

4) A mix of the Tim Burton and '71 film, w/ my own flavouring added to the mix. : P 5) - Augusteen reaching down to the Strawberry Chocolate River, completely unaware of unstable ground crumbling beneath her. - Michelle, wanting to spread her views and opinions to a wider audience, teleports herself into the TV... It quickly goes horribly wrong. - Victor "Violet" Beauregarde starts living up to his nickname as he starts swelling up into a blueberry as a result of the chewing gum's dessert: blueberry cheesecake. - Vernon being attacked by stoats in the Trail Mix Room. His prized fur coats smell of rabbit (as that is where the fur is from) which just happens to be an animal that is commonly hunted by the stoats. In the scuffle, he trips and falls down the garbage chute. - Charlie enjoying a cherry lollipop in the Candy Room. 6) A (now) blue skinned, Victor enters Vernon’s room at a unfortunate moment. Vernon futilely tries to obscure what he's looking at, fumbling to quickly close the tab, but Victor's already seen it. This is why you should always knock on the door first before you enter. Stupid. I know. I thought it was funny. 7) The blue skinned Victor Beauregarde bonks Vernon Salt w/ the 'No Horny' stick, but is revealed that 'No' was a sticky note slapped over the words 'Mor'. Poor Victor is chased by Vernon à la Pepé Le Pew from Looney Tunes. It’s revealed that Michelle TeaVee who tampered w/ the bonk stick. We get the classic, “Ain’t I a stinker?” line from her at the end. As the last one was based on a meme, same applies for the sequel. That being the horny jail meme: knowyourmeme.com/memes/go-to-h…

8) The family members of the ticket winners brought to the tour: - Mr. Salt (loosely modelled off Mr. Salt from the '71 film, and Victoria's father from "Corpse Bride"). - Ms. Gloop (a mix of Queen of Hearts and Ursula). - Grandma Joanne (modelled after Angela Lansbury. Done so after seeing her on "Murder, She Wrote"). - Mr. Beauregarde (Sort of modelled after Eugene from the musical; the "V" is for Victor). - Mrs. TeaVee (Currently has a stuffy nose from her allergies; under recommendation of her 'internet savy' daughter, she hasn't used any name or store brand congestion removal sprays. Michelle doesn’t want the big companies to get their money).

Do any of the characters have a favorite specific animal? Or is it a criteria of traits they like? Do animals like them aswell?

Since I think most people at least have an animal that falls onto their "pretty neat" radar, I'd say the characters would fall into the same trappings! Just some more than others, sure. Maia likes dogs a *lot*, hence quickly approaching the fox in the courtyard before realizing her mistake, and her muttering statement to Gwennebat about Reasons Why Aetherial Orienteering is Neat Actually. ... Animals don't seem to gravitate towards her though. Probably sensing her overall distrust, and well, in the span of about two minutes she landed on one and tried to give it a shiner with a brownie. That one did warm up to her a little (at least, enough to sit down and Enjoy The Free Food), but she's no Disney Princess. Audric would be polite and say finches are his favorite... *if* the ears that matter are listening. If they aren't, he'd admit (it's secretly gryphons.). Between his aetherial aura and his manifest eyes, though, he tends to startle animals.

Pre-veil Lyra would list Magpies as her favorite. They remained a strong contender, but the outveil did not have Chappybaras, which are sort of these tiny six legged Capybaras that look like they got lost on the Potato Bug production line. She's pretty fond of all animals though, and was even out catching critters when she stumbled upon the veil gate. Animals tend to like her in turn, though she can come on a bit strong. Still no disney princess. Audun probably hasn't thought about it in terms of a favorite animal, but he does have a fondness for Elder Elk, not for any real reason beyond having gotten lucky enough to see some grazing when he was young. They're incredibly rare, and often only visible in a spectral form. Animals don't seem to care one way or the other if he's there, but his aetherial aura is a bit opposite Audric's, so it might have enough of a calming effect that they don't run so long as he doesn't startle them, himself. Elias.... yes. His favorite animal(s) all share the same disposition, and he keeps a stoat--an aberrant *and* a weasel, of all things--as a pet for that very reason. Any "certified trash animal" is one he likes. Tends to favor classic woodland creatures that are commonly thought of as pests/vermin, but all are good. Magic, non-magic, living, not-living. It'd be easier to ask what he doesn't like. As for whether or not they like him... I mean. Just look at the boy. He's got a whole critter practically living on him!

◉ HOW THE BEASTS CAME TO BE ◉

Firstmarten shook off her hairs into the Primordial Lake. These hairs turned into beasts and came to the shore. The short hairs became weasels, and those weasels that muddied their tails on the shore became stoats. Long hairs became polecats, sables and martens. A polecat has a dark mask on his face because of the silt stuck on his face. The ferret's skin burned out in the sun, and he began to roll in mud. That's how marbled polecat came to be. The marten, climbing out, smeared her breast with white clay and became white-hearted.

And other Fisrtbeasts followed Firstmarten's example.

Kvolke-Ho, the hero of fox legends, was born from a lump of swallowed fur that was spat out of Firstfox's mouth. All other descendants of Firstfox came out of the Lake.

At the bottom of the Primordial Lake rested the first rod of Mountain Quartz. When creating the Beforebeast, the Darkness had overdone it and put a too dense Dark Clot into it, which was cast to the bottom of the Skynesting along with the Earth. As it so happened, the denser the Darkness, the colder it was, and this solid clot became a frost crystal.

And some hairs touched it and became Snow Beasts.

So from the Hare came the Arctic Hare, from the Bear - the White Bear, from the Fox - the Arctic Fox, from the Vole - the Lemming, from the Otter - the Seal, from the Leopard - the Snow Leopard.

But snow did not exist in those times, the animals living in the primordial world did not know the cold. The Mountain Crystal, which was touched by the hairs, laid the Snow Beginning in the Snow Beasts. And they longed for winter.

Polar Bear, Arctic Fox and Irbis have conspired with the other Snow Beasts to create an eternal winter in Mirolapye. Some animals, such as weasels and stoats, managed to nurture their snowy beginnings themselves by stealing the shards of Mountain Quartz that Frostpelt had broken off to create winter. So weasels and ermines were able to change their pelts to snowy ones as soon as the cold weather came.

But the animals, unfit for frost, wailed from the cold, howling for help from the Sun. But the Sun could not melt the ice, because it spent too much energy shining all year round.

And the Stars intervened. They allowed the White Bear, Irbis and the Arctic Fox to rule only three months of the year, so that the Sun could rest and gain strength. And so it went.

But reluctantly the Snow rebels left their post, giving way to warmth. They would stay for a month or two.

Then the wise Stars divided the year into twelve parts, giving the remaining nine months to other beasts, so that they replaced each other, and thus the cold time was smoothly replaced by warmth.

Since then each month has borne the name of the beast in charge of that month.

◉ THE NAMES OF THE MONTHS ◉

❄ Whirlheart (Irbis)

❄ Icetail (Arctic fox)

❄ Frostpelt (White Bear)

🌿 Sunglance (Horse)

🌿 Clearstream (Shrew)

🌿 Flowersnuff (Mink)

🌻 Grassypaws (Hedgehog)

🌻 Baskingfur (Reed Cat)

🌻 Redbite (Noctule bat)

🍂 Fairhunt (Badger)

🍂 Goldenmane (Fox)

🍂 Rivergrip (Wolverine)

hampster, fieldmouse, rat, all of these are valid interps for sqh animal. but i think we should start considering things such as the humble stoat, weasel, and marten. mostly because i think the idea of people noticing weasel sqh's fur is always a little wintery. a genetic thing, of course, or perhaps due to being atop a mountain when he originally comes from somewhere hotter. (also in chinese myths a weasel can steal and replace souls and i think thats funny)

So, I think if SQQ had to pick a mammal to liken SQH to then it would be some kind of rodent - probably some kind of dormouse or a rat - because he underestimates SQH.

If this were an AU where everyone had like animal traits, an animal form or just a critter to represent them, then my hc for him before was a stoat, but now you made me seriously consider the weasel as the most fitting. :D

MBJ is a snow leopard, Shen Jiu was just made to be a fox (meanwhile Shen Yuan is a spoiled indoor cat which would lead to a bunch of confusion and immediately give him away in the scenario where the transmigration happens), but I'm not quite sure about Yue Qi. (I love capybara energy YQY, but let's be honest, capybaras are just way too harmless for someone who can go fight a heavenly demon) Chow Chow could be a good animal for him I guess, because that dog just looks so damn cuddly and sweet, but as far as I could find they were used to hunt wolves and leopards, which is fitting for our super-powerful sect leader.

Liu Qingge is a clouded leopard. TLJ s a wolf, LBH is a wolf hybrid. Snake nephew is still a snake. SXY was a hunting dog of sorts.

...You know, in this scenario MQF could be the resident capybara. WQW is a pangolin, obviously. I'm all out of ideas about the others thought. XD