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#he's like maybe this is fiction maybe we're all characters but it doesn't matter because the story is real to the people living it

cryptidghostgirl · 2 months

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CHUBBY! READER X ALASTOR

I'm soooo sorry that I'm requesting something else this just came to me and I needed your storytelling expertise to bring it to life 😢

ALSO ALSO ALSO this one has a trigger warning so please read with the thought that YOURE PERFECT!!!😤(if you write it)

OTAY OTAY soooooooooooo reader has been apart of the hotel for awhile and has developed a crush on Alastor from afar and the small instances they do cross paths but hesitates to approach him on her own because well we're shy and HES THE RADIO DEMON anyway reader doesn't have to worry about distance between them because Alastor is AVOIDING HER ALL ON HIS OWN 😯 AND somehow reader gathers the courage to approach Alastor but sees his relationship with Rosie (they're besties, platonic soulmates definitely) and thinks 'wow, she's so beautiful and...thin' and proceeds to lock herself away from everyone (SOLITUDE) and skips meals (starving herself), Alastor is the first to notice shes missin and pulling away but doesn't know how to approach her without stumbling over his words (i like to think that hes a heartbreaker to other women like his fans but with someone that he likes with real feelings hes fumbling in the dark because he could get rejected instead, i will die on the hill) so so so he hesitates to ask reader whats wrong till he hears her throwing up or she says something awful about herself and Alastor gets angry on her behalf and reader goes silent, only for Alastor to take a breath and tell her that 'shes hurting herself, for a shallow reason such as looks', and reader goes 'i thought you liked to watch others downfalls' and then hes like 'not your downfall, never you' 😔 reader starts to cry and shouts "im not Rosie', confused Alastor finally starts putting the pieces together and grabs reader hands and sincerely says "good, i wouldn't rosie anyhow, or anyone else for that matter', reader continuing to cry tells him to stop lying that this joke isn't funny and Alastor kissies her hand as says "whos joking? I only want you, your perfect" then then then slowly Alastor starts to help reader look at themselves in a more positive light [[fit this in somewhere???????Alastor tells reader why hes so close to rosie (he's clueless about reciprocated love so he goes to Rosie because canon that she knows matters of the heart...right?)]]

A/N as always i am obsessed with your request. Also I 100% agree with the assessment of Alastor's ability to talk to people he actually likes. I am literally so obsessed with this request. Also I am assuming from your previous comments you wanted the same bunny demon character?? Please forgive me if I am wrong but I did it for her (because I love her dearly and she is based of meeeee and I'm egotisticalllllll). Kisses bestie <3 <3

Downfall (Alastor x Chubby!Bunny Demon!Reader)

Paring: Alastor x Reader

Word Count: 4,076 (I got a little carried away)

Warnings: BODY IMAGE ISSUES!!! EDS!!!! I think that's it but they're in all caps for a reason so if you have ED issues maybe don't read this one??? It is hurt//comfort tho so maybe do???? Idk. If you get triggered by ed descriptions, don't. If having a fictional character tell you you're perfect the way you are and beg you to stop destroying yourself because they can't bear to watch would help you, do.

Master Lists:

Master Lists

Hazbin Hotel Master List

Alastor Master List

Click here and leave a comment if you want to be added to any taglists or send me an ask about it.

It had taken months. Months of wondering what he was like, of stolen glances, of furtive daydreams. Months of building up courage, of backing down, months of hoping and dreaming. It had taken endless encouragement from Angel, countless pages in her diary. It had taken a million deep breaths, ten thousand trembles of her hands. Months, it had taken months.

It wasn't like Y/n had never spoken to the man before. That wasn't really the issue. She wasn't scared of him, just scared. The simple idea of being alone with him was an intoxicating mixture of terror and utter bliss. Y/n didn't know how to handle it, she didn't know how to handle him.

Alastor was untouchable, nearly semi-divine in her eyes. Sure, he was fucked up, but they all were. At the end of the day, his facade was as easy to see through as a cheap paper crown from a Christmas cracker. Beneath the wide smile, the sharp teeth, the stories, Alastor was just a man. He cared deeply for the world around him, for the people around him and those in his life. No matter how hard he tried to disguise it, it always shone through to Y/n.

It wasn't like she had never spoken to Alastor before, she had just never spoken to him alone before. Every interaction they had ever had was as a part of the larger group of Hotel residents and staff. On the rare occasion they ran into one another in the hallway or happened to each be in the kitchen at the same time, Y/n froze up. Words turned to stones in her stomach and all she could ever seem to manage was a gentle nod, a shaky smile. It frustrated her to no end.

Finally, she had worked up the courage to talk to him. It was all Angel's idea really, she would never have had the thought to do such a thing on her own but his pushing had been relentless and at last, Y/n had agreed.

And it had taken months, months! This was her third attempt to go up to him. They had even lowered the stakes, Angel saying all she had to do was have a single normal conversation with the man and he would let her off the hook, stop his pestering and teasing. It was just her luck, really just her god damn luck.

Sir Pentious had informed Y/n that Alastor had left the hotel to see a friend, Charlie had given her the address of the cafe he had said he would be at should they need him. Everyone was all smiles, all encouragement. Y/n reminded herself to yell at Angel later for spilling her secret although, she guessed she shouldn't have expected anything else from the hotel's biggest gossip.

Putting on her favorite outfit, her hair all done up and makeup perfect, Y/n had slicked her ears flat against her head in determination and stepped out onto the streets of Pentagram City. It didn't take long for her to find the place, a sweet little cafe on the outskirts of Cannibal Town with white wrought iron chairs and a cheerful pink and purple sign. It hadn't taken her long to spot the bright red of Alastor's suit through the window either, standing out against all the muted purples and dark blacks of the other cannibals enjoying their meals within.

"It's fine. It's totally not weird that you're going up to him in a cafe he's having lunch in with a friend, that you.... oh my god Y/n!! He's gonna think you were stalking him! You should just go back and- no! You promised. Y/n, you can do this."

She took a deep breath, centering herself in that little core, that rod of who she was, that shot down the center of her being. Raising a closed fist to her chest, she shut her eyes.

"You can do this, Bunny." she reaffirmed, "You can do this."

Opening her eyes, she crossed the street. Her hand was inches away from the door's handle, her heart racing but set on what she was about to do, when Y/n noticed exactly who Alastor's 'friend' was.

Across the table from him, sipping delicately on a cup of tea, was the most beautiful demon Y/n thought she had ever laid eyes on. She had long, dainty fingers, thin and spidery, and the most perfectly proportioned body. She was tall, long legs sheltered by her skirt and a tiny waist that threw her hips and chest into contrast. The woman's hair was neat, tucked up beneath a wide brimmed hat. Her clothes were classy, her smile was bright and charming, the black holes of her eyes were... were... were everything. She was everything, everything Y/n wasn't.

Suddenly, the weight of her own body against her bones became all too real. She felt the urge to never be touched again, the same strange sickness of her youth sinking its teeth into the softness of her stomach, her thighs, her arms, all of her. Her hand lowered from the handle, Alastor laughing at something the woman had said to him. He seemed relaxed, more at peace than Y/n had ever seen the man before. If that wasn't love, she didn't know what was.

It took a second for the other residents of the Hazbin Hotel to realize the change. Y/n was good at this, she'd had practice. For years, she had worked to move past it all but the threat of a relapse had always hung over her head. It was her sword of Damocles, her fated demise.

Y/n retreated in to herself, she couldn't get the image of that woman out of her head. Poised, statuesque, thin. God, Y/n had never wanted anything more than she wanted to be thin. She wanted to rip fistfuls of flesh from her body, she wanted to wither away so only something beautiful remained.

Alastor was the first to notice. He had a soft spot for the rabbit demon who always seemed to be full of that soft, discrete joy and unending kindness. She was a more toned down version of Charlie. She was genuine and completely herself, no holds bared. She had such a hope, she had such a goodness, it made him wonder why she hadn't ended up in Heaven instead.

The truth was, behind the bravado and the grin, Alastor was scared of Y/n. He was scared he would touch her and she would rot away or worse, that she would run. She was just so good, so intrinsically wondrous, and he was the opposite. She was a fresh rose and he was the person coming haplessly along with a pair of gardening shears. She was radiant, she was carved fresh from marble, he was down bad.

Women had never been a priority or a problem for Alastor. Living and dead, they flocked to him. He knew his reputation was to blame, not to mention his looks. They could be fun for a while. Alastor saw charming them as a game, a good way to pass the time. This was different, Y/n was different. Alastor didn't know what to do so, he did nothing. He avoided her like the plague and when he couldn't, he practically ignored her, barley spared her a word.

Alastor was untethered, completely in the dark and so, he did what everyone does when they feel like that: he went to talk to his best friend. When he had gotten back to the hotel after his rather illuminating little chat with Rosie, Charlie had asked him if he had seen Y/n. It felt like divine chance, a cruel joke of fate, that the demon Princess would bring up the very source of his problems so soon after having at last pushed past his pride to ask for help.

When he had revealed the truth to the gang, that no, he had not in fact seen Y/n, they seemed deflated. There had been some sighs, some shrugs, shared glances he didn't understand and then everything had gone back to normal except, it wasn't quite normal.

Where Y/n could normally be found causing trouble, making mischief with the people who had so quickly become her friends since she had started her stay at the hotel out in the open, there was now a distinct lack of her jovial presence. She began taking her plates to her room at meals, showing up to group activities less and less, claiming she was tired or had a stomach ache. Alastor noticed every time he did manage to catch a glimpse of the marvelous and strange creature who had captured his affections so, she seemed utterly exhausted. Y/n was always bundled up, even on the warmest of days.

He wanted to go talk to her, wanted to ask her if she was okay. Alastor was worried -- genuinely worried -- about her. The only thing that stopped him from knocking every time he passed her perpetually closed door, was that he knew himself too well. He knew that the minute he entered, he'd lose his courage, that the words would become mush in his mouth.

It was pure chance, right place wrong time, that he heard it. Alastor had been following his normal routine, heading up to his radio tower for a broadcast after a group activity. Today had been Operation Navigation! As Charlie had dubbed it. She and Vaggie had built an obstacle course and everyone had a partner who was blindfolded and had to be guided through. When they got to the other end, the pairs had switched. Miraculously, Y/n had shown up to this event.

Alastor had watched her carefully, noting her sluggish movements and the way it took her a second to fully register what anyone was saying in a given moment. It was out of the ordinary and his worry only grew. He knew he was going to have to do something about it eventually but just didn't know how. Maybe it would require another visit to Rosie.

As he walked past the lobby bathroom, Alastor was pulled from his thoughts. The door was slightly ajar, sending shards of light out into the darkened hallway.

"Why isn't it working!"

Came the hushed yell of defeat. It was Y/n's voice, he'd know it anywhere. Alastor stopped walking.

"Why do I have to be..."

There was a sniff, the sound of something hitting the wall. Alastor realized it had been Y/n at the sound of fabric against the wallpaper. He could see her in his minds eye as she slid down the wall, pulling her knees into her chest.

"Why can't I just be skinny."

Y/n's words were muffled, soft and shaky.

"Why can't I just be pretty. Why do I have to be... to be..." her words were briefly broken by a sob, "why can't I just be good. I can't even fucking starve myself right. I wish..."

Alastor's body reacted before his mind could catch up, he knocked gently on the door. There was a little yelp of surprise from within, a few sniffs and some rustling fabric.

"Yeah?"

Y/n's voice trembled as she tried to keep the tears at bay.

"May I come in?"

Alastor heard the sharp intake of breath. It was too late to back down now. The silence was thick between them, it felt eternal.

"Okay." Y/n agreed at last, her voice small, and Alastor stepped into the room.

It was exactly how he had imagined it. Y/n was huddled on the floor next to the door, her knees tucked up under her chin and her arms holding her shins tightly. Alastor noticed that the thick, woolen sweater she had been wearing earlier had been tossed to the side, laying haphazardly beside the sink. Y/n sniffed again, trying to smile.

"Everything okay?" she asked and Alastor fixed his eyes back on her.

Y/n's eyes were rimmed with red. Her ears lay limply around her face which was stained with tears. Her skin was covered in goosebumps, she shivered.

"No. It's not."

She seemed a bit taken aback by his answer, not having grasped the reality of the cracked door earlier.

"I don't... what's wrong?"

"You are starving yourself." Alastor replied in a matter-of-fact voice.

Y/n's eyes went wide.

"Fuck... I... fuck!" she buried her face in her knees, "You weren't supposed to hear that."

"Are you trying to die!?" Alastor asked,

He didn't mean to yell, he didn't mean to be this angry. Everything he said seemed to send shockwaves of regret through his body. No matter what he did, he couldn't seem to stop himself.

"Are you... I just... are you stupid?!"

Y/n looked up at him again, her eyes wet with fresh tears.

"I-"

"You what." Alastor scoffed, "You want to be pretty?"

"I..."

"You want to be pretty so you lock yourself away? You make your friends watch as you... as you what, as you get thin? As you destroy yourself?"

She was crying now, truly crying. Alastor looked away, a hand to his head. He took a deep breath, everything was going wrong. When he looked at her again, her cheeks were flushed from a mixture of shame and hurt.

"I just..." he took another deep breath, sinking to his knees before her, "Why would you hurt yourself so badly for something as.. as shallow as your looks?"

Y/n sniffled, frantically trying to wipe away her tears.

"What, I thought you liked to watch other people's downfalls." she tried to shoot back at him but her words came out stuttering and broken through the thickly falling tears.

Y/n refused to meet Alastor's gaze. Everything was going wrong. She was horribly embarrassed, she felt like a butterfly and Alastor was the terror who had opened her chrysalis too soon. He wasn't supposed to see her like this, he wasn't supposed to see her now. He was only supposed to get the after. It was all for him, after all, wasn't it?

Except, Y/n knew the truth of the matter. Alastor had been the trigger but, these behaviors were too well engrained. She might not have known it then, but she'd been looking for an excuse all along. It was all for her, every inch of agony.

His heart dropped at her words. Was that what Y/n truly thought of him? It would make sense, it was the face he presented to the world after all. He had just thought... he had hoped... Rosie had said....

Rosie. That was the answer. She had told him to be honest, to be vulnerable no matter how terrifying such a prospect could be. She had said it was the only way they ever had the slightest chance.

Alastor reached a hand out gently, turning Y/n to look at him. Her skin was soft to the touch, the beating of her blood thrumming against his fingertips. With the utmost care he could muster in his clawed and rotten hands, Alastor wiped her tears away. He couldn't meet Y/n's eyes but heard her sniffle, watched as the flow of sorrow slowed.

"Not your downfall." he said, his words like quiet feathers falling through the air, "Never your downfall."

At last he met her trembling gaze, fear coursing hotly through him, mingling with his blood. She took a few short, stuttering breaths before bursting into tears once again. Alastor flinched slightly as her head fell forward onto his shoulder.

"But I'm not that woman!"

"Woman... what woman?"

"The one you were with at the cafe!"

"The one... Rosie?"

Y/n nodded, sniffiling slightly as she tried to calm herself down.

"You saw me with Rosie? How?"

"I went... I'd been working up all this courage and... I just wanted to talk to you and Charlie and Pen said you'd be there and... and... and I'm not Rosie!"

Suddenly, everything clicked into place. He had been right all along, Rosie was the answer. With the air of someone who hadn't had much physical affection given to them in their life, or received any for that matter, Alastor slowly wrapped his hands around Y/n's shaking back.

"Good."

"What do you mean 'good'? She's so beautiful and she made you laugh and she's just... she's so beautiful and thin!"

"She is beautiful, and a lovely woman but, I don't want Rosie. Or anyone else for that matter."

Y/n's sobs redoubled, she began to struggle against his grip.

"Let me go! Stop lying, Alastor."

Alastor released Y/n from his grasp and she pushed herself back against the wall, utterly mortified and unable to stop. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking away.

"Stop joking, it's... it's not funny."

"Who is joking? I..." Alastor took a deep breath.

Rosie had been right, it was terrifying. He hope she was right on the second part too, that it would be worth it.

"Y/n, have you seen yourself?"

"Yes! Why the fuck do you think I want to be anything else?!"

Alastor got to his feet, holding a hand out to Y/n.

"Come with me."

"No." she mumbled, scooting further away from him if it was possible.

Under another circumstance, he would have chuckled lightly, he would have found her reaction adorable. This was neither the time nor the place and so, summoning his shadows, he transported them both into the darkness of his room.

Y/n looked around, pulling herself to her feet.

"Where... where are we?"

"My room." Alastor sat down on the edge of his bed, "Come here."

Hesitantly, Y/n took a few steps forwards. Once she was in reach, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into his lap. The feeling sent sparks through his body, Alastor tried his best to ignore it. There were more important things than the pleasure of the moment. Y/n struggled against his grasp, the tips of her ears dragging slightly across his arms.

"Alastor! Let me go! I'm too heavy!"

"No, you're quite perfect actually."

"I don't want to be touched! I don't want you to... you're making me want to tear my skin off, please."

"No." his voice was firm.

"Please, just please let go of my waist at least."

To this, he relented, one of his arms falling loosely onto her lap as he held the other up, snapping his fingers. Shadow's flooded into the room, bringing with them a full length mirror. He felt Y/n tense in his grasp.

They came to a stop, setting the mirror on the ground before them. Y/n turned her head away, her eyes shut tight.

"Please stop, Alastor. This really isn't funny."

"Y/n."

"No."

"Y/n."

"No!"

Y/n, please."

She had never heard him say the word before. Slowly, she opened her eyes, craning her neck to look up at Alastor.

"I want you to see what I see when I look at you."

"You promise you wont be mean?" Y/n asked suspiciously after a moment.

"I pinky promise."

He had seen her do this before, with other residents of the hotel. A simple locking of pinky's was all it ever took to make a promise, to assuage her doubts, to show she cared. Y/n's eyes widened slightly. Slowly, she reached her hand out, locking her pinky with his. They shook their hands once, the way Alastor had seen her do it a thousand times before.

"Wait." Y/n said as he made to move his hand away, looking away bashfully, her cheeks a bright pink and her voice quiet, "Don't let go."

"Okay."

Taking a deep breath, she turned to the mirror. It was terrible, she felt bile rise in her throat.

"Y/n, you are so... every inch of you is perfect." Alastor took a deep breath, the way his voice trembled not escaping Y/n's notice, "You have... amazing legs. I know everyone's all obsessed with Angel's but, he has nothing on you walking around on those sticks. You're... you're all soft curves and lace. If you were made of anything, you would be satin. You are a nymph rising from the lakes, a wild maenad in the woods. Your eyes shine like true stars, not what we have here. Did you know rabbits were always my favorite animal?"

Y/n giggled slightly, her tearstained cheeks flushed pink.

"Well they were. They still are. Your ears are just to die for, dearest."

He felt her ears twitch slightly against his back at the comment and Y/n watched through the mirror as his smile softened at it's harsh edges.

"Your grace is what the Greeks wrote about. You... Y/n, the first time I set eyes on you, I felt like I was drowning." Alastor looked away, unable to meet her eyes even through the glass, "Like you were a siren and I was nothing more than a hapless sailor at your mercy."

"But you never talk to me."

"You never talk to me!"

Y/n laughed again, smiling a gummy smile.

"I don't have to talk to you to see who you are, Y/n." Alastor continued, his hand that was in her lap turning so his palm rested gently on her thigh, "You light up any room you're in. You are charming and clever and constantly on the look out for places you can instill your special breed of controlled chaos."

Trembling, he shifted his hand in Y/n's so he held hers, raising it to his mouth. The heat of his breath on her skin drove Y/n wild, her breath hitched.

"I am glad you're not Rosie, I don't want Rosie. I don't want anyone else except for you."

Alastor planted a soft kiss on the back of her hand and Y/n's smile only grew, her tears long forgotten now as she watched Alastor's reflection.

"You are perfect. Please, don't change yourself, don't hurt yourself, trying to be something else. I'd miss you."

Slowly, he let their still clasped hands fall into Y/n's lap.

"Do you see now?"

Y/n turned back to the mirror, her head tilted slightly to one side as she hummed in consideration.

"No." she admitted, "But I think I might be able to start."

"One step at a time." Alastor rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand in comforting circles, "I'll be with you the whole way, if you'll have me."

He held his breath, waiting for her reply. Y/n met his eyes through the mirror, her brow furrowed.

"That depends."

"On what?"

"Who is Rosie?"

Alastor could have laughed, he nearly did.

"She is a very old and dear friend. I was going to her for advice, that day."

"You? Needing advice?" Y/n paused before shaking her head, "Nah, I don't see it."

She laughed lightly at her own joke and Alastor smiled softly back at her.

"It was advice about you, actually."

Y/n turned herself in his lap, looking up at him with her legs on either side of his own.

"About me?"

"Y-yes."

He cursed himself internally. Alastor hadn't meant to stutter, she just looked too lovely sitting there and looking up at him with her pretty pink lips slightly parted, her cheeks flushed.

"Well?" she asked expectantly.

"I..." Alastor felt the heat rising in his own cheeks and looked away, "well, I didn't know how to approach you."

"Wait, you were avoiding me this whole time?" Y/n laughed and Alastor nodded, "I thought I was avoiding you!"

"Wait, you were avoiding me?"

His gaze snapped back to hers and she laughed again.

"Yes! I was terrified to speak to you! You're so cool and hot and just... I'm not good at things like this!"

"You think I'm hot?"

"Is that all you got out of what I said?"

"Maybe."

They both laughed this time. Alastor's chest felt lighter than it hand in years.

"So," he began once they had both calmed down, "is that a yes?"

"To what?"

"To letting me... be... with you."

Y/n smiled, reaching a hand up to his cheek.

"That's a 'will you be with me?' I think actually."

----

Tags:

@willowshadenox @i-love-jafar @elfyeet @reader3 @lazygirlfanfic0-0@kahlan170

A/N Y'all, there were one or two times I almost wrote my name while doing this one. I've been writing x reader fics for eight years, this never happens to me anymore. I think I related a little too hard. I am x reader fic writing too close to the sun.

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en-d-d · 12 days

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So, this is my first post, so hello everyone! I don't really know how to properly navigate this platform just yet, but I'm sure I will figure it out, so please bear with me.

Having said that, unfortunately, I've come here today to rant a little on social media about things that make me borderline insane just from listening to. Most specifically, from MTXT's works. (Because if I ever see another wrong characterization for those fictional people I've became very attached to, I'm actually going to go mad.)

(This is not meant to be an attack of any sorts, I'm just a teenager on social media pulling my nerves into writing because who knows, maybe I can finally be at peace then.)

Let's start then!

Xie Lian is not owo small cutie or sum, and if I hear that one time... my man may be short, but he could fight off almost anyone, just thanos clapping people out of existence. He's also very insane and very horny about the Calamity attached to his hip. My guy is pretty smart and also just kinda gives patient auntie vibes (you know, that auntie that can see beyond everyone's bull but choses not to).

And if I already started with TGCF, may as well continue with it. Hua Cheng is a switch and you can't convince me otherwise. (If his Dianxia wanted to top, he would be as elated as he would be if Dianxia wanted to bottom. My man doesn't care.)

Luo Binge being referred as a white lotus and people not knowing what it means ("In Chinese internet novels, the term "white lotus" refers to a character who appears innocent, naive, and pure on the surface but uses this reputation to backstab, blame, or sling mud on others.") (I believe maybe people confuse this with the other meanings of the white lotus, like, actually naive or pure in character, but those are obliviously not what they mean in the chinese novels)

Shen Yuan is Kim Dokja, but chinese (or maybe KD is SY but korean)

Lan Wangji did not like Wei Wuxian despite him being 'evil', he loved him exactly because he isn't evil. I can't stress this enough. If wwx was a actually bad person, lwj would not hesitate to cut his head off and be done with the matter. Whenever I see someone saying something about him liking wwx even if he's evil, I'm slowly loosing my mind, bcz no, lwj is not such a shallow person, to be attracted to someone based purely on looks (and we do know this bcz he loves wwx in mxy's body just as much as he loved him in his original body.)

Now, we're moving into a territory I like exploring. I just want to start this off saying that I don't like Jiang Wanyin. I just don't care very much about him and I find him annoying as a person. With that being said, I'm a little miffed with fellow jc dislikers bcz they sometimes invent some things up about him or such shenanigans. Like. Man, you do not need to invent things to hate abt him, there are already plenty of them. I'm pretty unbiased when it comes to actual judgements about others. I will protect someone if the points made about them is incorrect as much as I will point out every thing they actually did bad.

And the next point is still abt jc (wow, what a surprise) just bcz, honest to god, a lot of his fans are straight up annoying. I've said it. A lot of y'all are hella annoying. (Not to say that there exist a lor of annoying fans for other characters, it's just that jc has a very high number of them) Some of the ones I don't find bad are those that like him just becouse of how bad of a person he is. I can respect that. What I can't respect is another owo he's innocent and traumatized and a tsundere and everything is wwx's fault owo jc fan. Fam, did we read the same book, or has media really rotten our colective brain that much??

(I believe I have more comments on this jc topic, but my brain is starting to hurt.)

And the last one is Wei Wuxian, probably the most controversial character in all of MTXT's novels. First of all, I have to be clear about this, but in all of this post, I'm purely referring to the characters from the books, not the other adaptations. This is important, bcz the adaptations further skewed wwx's image in the fandom.

I have saved him for least because of just how much things tick me off in this fandom when discussing wwx in special.

Disclaimer that I sincerely believe that you should enjoy and do art and fanfiction of characters however you want. If you want wwx to be, idk, a demon that terrorizes people and breaks lwj's heart and then jc comes and saves the situation from the evil patriarch and then french kisses Lan Xichen, then go ahead, idc (Unless you say he's owo, you have no excuse that would allow you to do that unless you're a child, and if you are, then you shouldn't even be here). But I draw the line when people lie about canon characterizations.

And there is just so much misconceptions on wwx's character that I would need an essay just to compose a list of them. They range from huge details that somehow miss people like how their neurons miss firing, to small details, like his handwriting (I believe the novel said it was cursive, not messy, like how almost all the fandom has apparently mutually agreed on. Do corect me if I'm wrong on this, some things are lost from translation to translation)

I will be discussing just some of them here. Maybe I will do another post where I go in more detail, we will see.

ADHD Wei Wuxian. The people that believe wwx has ADHD should probably reread the novel, bcz that characterization comes mostly from CQL. In the novel, wwx is a very chill guy that can stay in one place perfectly fine. I will not go into more details, just read the novel.

Wei Wuxian is the reason for the Jiang's collapse. Bull statement, everytime I see it, well, I go a little more insane. If you know a little politics, you would realize the Jiangs were next on the list for sure. Why, you would ask. The Lans already burnt themselves to the ground. The Nies have a fortress for a sect. The Jins are almost-not-exactly allies with the Wens. Now, guess who is the most unfavorably positioned gentry sect (lakes are not a good strategic spot), with lax protection (how did the Wens just march in like that like what) and a little too carele leader (Jiang Fenmiang really thought the Wens will give them back the swords after that whole disaster that was the indoctrination? Really??). Oh! I think I know who it is! And maybe you guessed it too. Glad we're on the same page.

Now, wwx being the reason why jc lost his core. Very many people already came to their own conclusion on why jc gave himself up. Brotherly affection, suicidal thoughts or just straight up idiocy. Whatever you believe, it's fine with me (but I do have a brother and I can assure you, wwx and jc never really seemed like brothers to me. They are a little too far to the left to be considered brothers, but this is my opinion, take it however you will). So, was it wwx's fault?

We're finally getting into the juicy stuff. The blame game. I hate it with my being, still, as long as I'm in fandoms, I must persist. My answer is yes & no. Did wwx deliberately made it so jc would be captured? Of course not. Did it still happened? Unfortunately, yes. To go deeper, we will look a little at fate. There are some things that are outside of our control. As much as we prepare, some things will still blow us over. So the definite answer is no. Jc made the decision to be seen by the Wens. It might sound callous , but the decisions you make are yours, even if you protect someone's life or not. Wwx did not ask to be protected. In conclusions, it's not his fault.

And that is a very good statement to make, seeing as we got to the core transfer. People often criticize wwx for giving non-consensualy his core to jc. I always thought it as a weird thing to hate him about, but whatever, I still shall address it. I will start with an exemple. If you loved someone very much, and they would die if they don't get, idk, a new arm (maybe think of something less inconspicuous, but you understand the ideea) they would die. You are the single person that can do it. But you're sure that if someone told your loved one that you would give it, they would refuze it. Are you still going to give your arm? Will you let your loved one die? Knowing that you can help?

And for those that say jc was not on the brink of death. He was suicidal. He would not have resisted a week with the shame of inferiority plus all the trauma that the Lotus Pier massacre was, combined. 'Regaining' his core might have actually made him feel better, like he beat the odds, like he has another chance. That's also why wwx never told him he gave him his core. Bcz he knew jc would not take it easy, finding out that all his accomplishments were thanks to wwx's sacrifice. Because jc has a big ego that's clearly evident through the story.

Anyways, let's continue.

Ghostly Cultivation. It's more popularity used the Demonic Cultivation term, but they are not the same think for Christ's sake. Modao Zushi does mean The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, however the title is for click bait. In the actual novel, I believe wwx talks abt ghostly cultivation, not demonic. It was probably lost in translations.

I don't think I need to explain how wwx needed guidao to escape the Burial Mounds, so at least half of my job is already done. Now I go into dangerous territory however, bcz guidao is not expended upon. Still, I would rather listen to wwx when it's about, you know, the path he himself created?

To explain my stance, we would need to go deeper into the novel's points. A novel can have multiple themes, ranging from obvious ones, like love, family, to obscure ones, like, the importance of standing up for oneself (not the best exemple, but I believe y'all understand what I mean).

I'm someone that loves thinking abt MDZS. It's my dearest. So, I tend to analyze it pretty often. And the themes I usually get are things like 'the danger of hearsay and mob mentality', 'the importance of standing true to your ideals', 'the inherit unpredictability of life' and so on, and so on.

Anyways, what does that have to do with guidao? Well, everything, I believe. The MDZS world has a mentality resembling that of the curent China. Or well, the China of when MXTX wrote the novel. If you know some history, I believe you can connect the similarities. What does that mean then?

Wwx is someone that does not fallow the path set by the ancestors. He creates his own. When the cultivators see that, they are revolted. Becouse everything that strays from the 'right' path must surely be evil. And so, after Wen Ruohan, the Jins paint him as the new anarchist, and the rest is history.

Now, I would actually love to continue, but I've been typing nonstop for hours now, I need to stop. I will continue my points in another post, bcz I still have a lot of them.

Thanks for reading, and have a wonderful day 💐

#mxtx #mdzs #tgcf #svsss #wei wuxian #lan wangji #jiang cheng #xie lian #hua cheng #shen qingqiu #shen yuan #luo binghe #can you tell that I love mdzs #my head is about to explode from a headache #and I just typed for hours on end #the power of being done with fanon gave me strength

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acourtofthought · 7 months

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"Elain isn't interested in Lucien"

But WHY? And not someone's imagined reasons, the ones out of Elain's mouth.

Canonically, these are the only reasons we have for Elain not wanting to get to know Lucien:

Are those good reasons for not wanting someone?

Shouldn't matters of the heart be based on things that have a bit more depth to them?

She's never said, "I don't want him because we have nothing in common".

She's never said, "I don't want to know him because he has terrible manners".

She's never said, "I don't want to know him because he treats others poorly".

Even the superficial would be giving us something to do with Lucien as an individual.

She's never said, "I don't want to know him because I find him unattractive".

She's never said, "I don't want him because I hate the way he dresses".

When she said this to Feyre she didn't even bring up being unable to move past the whole Hybern / Tamlin thing.

Lucien being her mate has nothing to do with the choices Lucien has made in his own life. There is a sum total of zero things he could have ever done to change that fact.

In the real world we don't need to explain why we're not interested in someone but that's not how it works in the fictional world. Anytime a character is presented with a love interest, readers are going to be looking for answers and like it or not, two characters being given a mating bond is the ultimate romantic setup (especially between someone who is one of her favorite characters and someone who has the same kind of energy she does and therefore would most likely be her BFF in real life) and that's going to need some explanation for why someone walks away.

"Why is this one the one for me and why was that one the wrong one?"

We found out that Rhys's mother wasn't right for his father because she was fiery and beloved by everyone while he was cold and vicious. It wouldn't have been enough for Rhys to say, "he saved her from having her wings clipped when he saw her and knew in an instant she was his mate, he gave her the gift of flight for the rest of her life but she didn't want him because she just didn't want a bond." 🤔 That's going to leave people scratching their heads because it makes Rhys's father look like the good guy and his mother someone we're a little confused about. Maybe in the real world, "I didn't want to get married and he did" is sufficient but again, not in a fictional fantasy world. Especially not in a fictional fantasy world where the author already had his first love murdered in front of him (someone he loved so deeply he thought they were mates). It's absurd to think SJM is ending the possibility of Elucien and putting Lucien through yet another round of torture for the sole reason that Elain "doesn't want a mate" (since she's now moved past the "I don't want a male" stage.

Not wanting a mate at first is understandable because she needs to deal with everything that's happened and everything she's lost.

But once her story moves forward, not wanting to know Lucien because she doesn't want a mate is the equivalent of someone saying, "I don't want that well spoken, well dressed handsome guy with flowing locks from the coffee shop who likes all the things I do because it was a random run in when I wasn't expecting it and I'll only accept love from people I meet on Saturday mornings in the grocery store regardless of whether they're a good fit for me. Because all that matters is my choice (that sounds a bit silly right? The my choice argument when based on a mating bond as the deciding factor?).

Also, what is it about Az that Elain likes? To date, we've been given absolutely nothing on that front which means that her being about to kiss Az could be because he's the love of her life just as easily as it could mean she's looking for a physical release in exactly the same way Nesta did with the males at the start of SF. So why is he the one that she's paying attention to and what does he have that Lucien doesn't that makes him a match for her?

Az is noted as the prettiest of the three brothers by Nesta and classically beautiful by Feyre while the King of Hybern, Cassian, Amren, and Feyre remark on Lucien being handsome and Feyre notes his elegance and cruel beauty. Also my girl was paying way too much attention to her sisters mates warm sculpted chest and broad hands in ACOWAR. Using canon and not our personal preference, they are both highly attractive and fit.

We know Lucien enjoys parties and while we don't know whether Az actually enjoys them, we know he can dance.

Elain likes to look her best. When not in leathers, Az seems to dress well enough and we know Lucien is the best dressed male in all of Prythian (maybe a slight exaggeration but Feyre and Cassian definitely wanted us to know he's a stylish m'fer). I would say Lucien has more of an edge on Az in this but still, I'll call it a tie.

Az speaks gently to Elain but so did Lucien: "I'd never heard my friend's voice so soft. So tentative and concerned".

Az got Elain a rose necklace which she did seem to like. Regardless of her reaction, knowing what we know of Elain (that she does in fact wear gloves for gardening and does wear pearls), Lucien selected excellent gifts for her as well.

Az is a powerful Illyrian warrior and shadowsinger however Lucien trained in Autumn and Spring so he knows how to wield a blade and kill when needed. He's also got Autumn's fire and now Day's powers, showing the markers of becoming a High Lord.

Az listened to Elain talk about seeds but Lucien listened to Elain talk about Graysen, about hearing heartbeats through stone, about how no one ever sees her and only left once her sisters chased him out of the room (and they ALL listened to her talking about having visions at various points. Az wasn't the only one who listened to her, he was just the first one to give it a name).

I'm kind of struggling to see exactly how Az is the "obvious" choice for Elain or where he's got an edge on Lucien aside from the fact that she wasn't given a bond with him (which again, not a great reason to reject someone). Especially when you consider the stuff Elain isn't fully aware of:

Lucien gave her credit for killing the king.

Az said Elain should not be exposed to the darkness of the trove.

Elain said that her sister should not tell her what she can or cannot do.

Lucien has not once touched Graysen or Az in an attempt to eliminate the threats that stand in the way of he and his mate, he's never even spoken of wanting to harm anyone or wish that an "unfortunate" accident would come their way.

Azriel said that if Lucien kills Graysen, "good riddance" and doesn't seem bothered at the thought of killing Elain's mate.

Elain said she's not a child to be fought over.

Cassian gives Lucien credit for keeping his cool over Beron murdering Jeminda and Eris's cruelty.

Az tortures people, starts fights in political meetings, admits Elain has no idea the things he's done.

Cruelty bothers Elain.

Lucien is really good at talking to people and has made friends across all courts (and now the human lands).

Azriel prefers his space and works from the shadows.

Elain is social and makes friends easily.

Lucien is the Heir to Day

Elain wants Sunshine

Azriel literally exists in shadows and his shadows are afraid of the sun.

Lucien looks to be crafted from the forest, fishes with his bare hands, has an old camping cave, rides horses and hunts for food.

Az........likes to sun his wings in sunshine sometimes?

Elain loves being outside gardening and SJM said she's happiest in nature.

Some like to argue that Lucien doesn't care about Elain because he stays away from her and "can't stand to be in the same room as her for more than two minutes" (though they're missing the point because he can't stand that she doesn't want him around. If she was open to getting to know him Lucien would be unrolling his sleeping bag wherever she went). But Az himself couldn't stand to be near Elain at Solstice and had been avoiding her for his own reasons (not because it's what he thought she wanted or anything).

So again, WHY isn't Elain interested in Lucien?

If it had anything to do with Hybern, then she wouldn't have invited him back to Velaris after the war.

That does leave the sole reason of "I don't want a mate."

The problem is, Elain will never not have a mate regardless of who she ends up with.

Elain didn't want to be turned fae.

Elain didn't want to lose Graysen.

Elain didn't want her father to be murdered.

It's valid for Elain to have not wanted these things but it doesn't change the fact that she's got no control over them. Like it or not, she's going to have accept them.

Elain is fae, she did lose Graysen, her father was murdered and she does have a mate.

Once she accepts that there is no changing these things, she's going to stop telling herself she doesn't want a mate and she's going to have to start asking herself why she doesn't want LUCIEN romantically (he is a person, not a bond) because she is connected to him forever and will always feel a tug to him. That bond is begging her to see where things go.

At that point, what possible reason could she have for not wanting him?

Sure, maybe she likes a lot about Az. But I can almost guarantee there'd be a lot she didn't like about him either. And while no one is perfect, I'm finding it very difficult to see how Elain couldn't like Lucien. When you add a super special connection to that (all that beautiful golden thread from what we're told), where a force that's connected to all the life in their world decided you were fated to be with one another (even if it was only to produce super special light filled babies), how could anything else compare?

#elucien #pro elucien #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #anti e/riel #pro lucien vanserra #elain x lucien #lucien and elain #elucien bond #elain and lucien #elucien supremacy

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butterflydm · 10 months

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wot reread: a memory of light (chapters 24-31)

spoilers for a memory of light, the final book.

Everything that Tuon thinks about her life really does sound like it's going to make Mat so miserable. All the obligatory pomp and circumstance, even in private (because you're never in private when you have slaves!). But, hey, he'll get rewarded with sex every time he saves Tuon's life, so who needs happiness? (/sarcasm)

Given how many truths about the Seanchan have been withheld from Mat in order to get him to this point, I wonder how many of those truths it would take for him to abandon ship?

Note: I am going to be questioning and interrogating Mat's actions, words, and behaviors a LOT going forward and not taking much at face value. And that kinda extends to people talking about him: what do they know and believe about him, etc? Whose PoV are we in when certain things are said or revealed, etc? This is mostly for two reasons: a. I am sussing out how much wiggle room there is for writing fic about Mat in this time period and b. I want to try to not make assumptions based on my first thoughts when I'm reading each PoV.

2. Beslan says that Mat has changed and "I don't know what to make of him any more." Beslan is all-in on the slavers now, which makes him a very great disappointment to me. I guess we can't be that surprised. He enabled his mom being a serial rapist, so I guess it shouldn't be a shock that he's willing to enable slavery as well. What Beslan says about Mat is... hmm. How well did Beslan ever know Mat, I guess is the question that immediately springs to mind. Beslan was the son of Mat's rapist, who allowed that his mom was maybe going too far with Mat but still was basically a momma's boy despite the rape. And the last time Mat saw Beslan, he was a revolutionary who was willing to stand up against the Seanchan even when his mother was not, so I suspect that he would also not be certain what to make of you, Beslan. Honestly, given that Beslan's last experience of Mat was "wants to escape Ebou Dar no matter what", the most surprising thing for him should be that Mat voluntarily returned to Ebou Dar.

But everything that Tuon thinks here about how Beslan and the Altaran people have been "properly tamed" does give me that gross feeling that she (and many of the Darkfriends in the series) gives me in her PoV chapters. If Mat could actually see her thought processes, all his fantasies about how she's Not Like the Other Seanchan would go up in smoke.

3. Selucia slightly shades Tuon on how she hasn't broken Mat to fully proper behavior yet (he's cursing at some news they've received) and Tuon immediately decides that she needs a new Truthspeaker so that Selucia can go back to being only her Voice (and not speak any opinions that aren't exactly your own, Tuon?).

An Empress must be "crafty", "strong", and "skilled" to sit on the Crystal Throne, Tuon thinks.

Ah, I guess that's why she died pretty quickly in Aviendha's alternate future. Tuon doesn't have any of those qualities. It is interesting to think about how Tuon pumps herself here up with an impossible goal: that she be strong enough to live forever (as the Empress is meant to do and yet how every single Empress has failed to do) so that she can bring 'order' to the world. Just as Fortuona is not living up to the fictional Tuon in Mat's head, she can't possibly live up to the Empress that she believes that she needs to be.

There really are hints, here and there, of the interesting character that Tuon could have been. She just needed so much more character work. I do think she's been more interesting under Sanderson so far, though, at least than she was in CoT & KoD.

4. At this moment in time, Tuon is regretting her marriage. Mat's fancy Seanchan uniform keeps snagging on everything that he passes and her other generals find him baffling. She married "chaos itself". This feels like another place where we're being told one thing and shown another. What has Mat actually DONE that is chaotic to Tuon's plans? He saved her life and advised that she not be stupid enough to actively try to sabotage Rand saving the world, but he didn't challenge her on anything or fight her on anything.

This really does show the all-or-nothing attitude of the Seanchan: Mat has bent so much to accommodate Tuon that he's practically unrecognizable to who he used to be but that's still not enough for her. Nothing but complete and eternal submission is enough for her. He can do everything she asks but if he doesn't have the right attitude about it, then she's still unhappy with him.

5. Oh, "the Prince of Ravens" thinks that they're joining the battle too late? MAYBE he shouldn't have deserted on the eve of the fucking Last Battle then? Sanderson suddenly inserting a feeling of urgency in Mat about getting to the Last Battle feels so ridiculous. Mat didn't give a shit about the Last Battle a couple of chapters ago. He ran away so that he could have some drinks in slaver town. The Last Battle has been happening for at least a week at this point.

Mat being someone who is creating urgency and rushing would make so much more sense if he'd gone to the Seanchan as a negotiator and not as a deserter.

We do get confirmation here that Mat is now the second-highest ranking member of the High Blood, after Tuon herself. And the mere fact that Tuon thinks here that he would "never be a rival" makes me feel like narrative irony would have insisted on him being the one who topples her from her throne.

6. This is when Tuon renames Mat as "bringer of destruction" (aka Knotai aka I am not using that name in this reread ever again). Mat deciding that he likes being dubbed a "bringer of destruction" is another thing that feels bizarrely out of character but I will note that this is all in Tuon PoV, so we don't know how Mat actually feels about the name (I'm pretty sure he doesn't start calling himself that in his head at any point). And we've seen that Tuon has a very difficult time reading Mat, so if he was giving off any tells that he was lying, she would certainly never pick up on it. She glares at him after the renaming and wills him not to argue with it, so his response might be Mat picking up on her cues and responding.

"The Pattern had placed [Mat] before her, had shoved him into her arms." It sure fucking did and it was so incredibly annoying to read.

Tuon also does (internally) note here that Rand was 100% correct about how fragile her rule here is.

Haha, after Selucia uses their handtalk to call Tuon out on the risks she's taking, Tuon thinks again that she needs to replace Selucia as a Truthspeaker so that Selucia can go back to being a good little parrot and stop having opinions (this is a mild paraphrase of her thoughts).

7. Ah, this moment is in Tuon's PoV but it actually does still manage to be pretty clear exactly how much she is disappointing Mat when she considers the idea of going back on her word and swooping down on the Aes Sedai to capture them all as damane rather than going to aid them as allies. That's the moment of Actual Fortuona failing to live up to the Fictional Tuon in Mat's head that I was remembering. Back during either TGS or ToM, Mat realizes that it was likely that Tuon didn't stay in CoT & KoD because she was being honorable and keeping her word but instead was staying because of the prophecy about him she'd gotten, but he kinda just ignored the implications of that realization.

The mere fact that Tuon considers the idea of breaking her word here would remind Mat that her word is meaningless (and Mat has developed, as we have established, a fey-like obsession with keeping his word). It is interesting how Tuon thinks of herself as the embodiment of order and yet so easily considers throwing away a treaty and going back on her word; yet she considers Mat the embodiment of chaos when he does his best to always live by his word no matter what the personal cost. Mat probably would push it away again here (she does make the right choice when it comes down to it) but it's another place where Actual Fortuona would be a disappointment when compared to Fictional Tuon in Mat's head.

Ultimately, when Tuon decides to keep her word, it isn't out of honor but due to the omens telling her to bet on Mat.

I will note at this point in time that Mat is still being informal and using "Tuon" freely.

8. We get a glimpse of how pressed things are on Lan's part of the battlefield before shifting over to Elayne's. Birgitte tries to keep Elayne in the command tent and Elayne finally snaps, telling her that if Birgitte can't follow her orders like all the other soldiers are willing to do, then she will release their bond. I'm sure Elayne gets hate for this, because she gets hate for everything, but I found it very cathartic after how much Birgitte has been getting on my nerves in this book. And Elayne's right that she's more useful out there doing things -- she is an extremely powerful channeler. It is a waste of her talents for her to sit in a tent.

9. Hmm, yeah, as Rand enters Shayol Ghul itself, he notes that time is affecting him differently. He can tell that one of the women that he's bonded to is in pain but he can't tell who it is and he worries over Elayne and Aviendha.

Though the knife worked to shield Rand from the Dark One's eyes, Moridin is still waiting for him there. I wonder how long he's just been kneeling there. So, yeah, before Rand can get to the Dark One, he has to take care of Moridin.

Anyway, we learned in Siuan's PoV just before this that Min was sent to the Aes Sedai camp with the message "The Seanchan fight the Shadow." You know, I like that message because it doesn't overpromise anything and it doesn't set up expectations that the Seanchan won't be absolute douchebags, as they certainly will be.

10. Luc Mantear and Isam Mandragoran's story as Slayer really could have been heartbreaking and fascinating if Jordan had ever actually leaned into the implications of it. They're both essentially collateral damage -- Isam was left behind when the Blight swallowed up Malkier; Luc was sent off into the Blight to 'seek glory' in order to help wedge an opening for the Mantears to be pushed off the throne of Andor. But the books never explore that.

As it is, Slayer is just... this disconnected assassin who shows up once in a blue moon, and there's not really any substance there to hook onto.

After a... really long battle involving Slayer and the red-veiled Aiel channelers, Perrin fails to kill Slayer and Slayer ends up escaping. Lanfear shows up to heal Perrin and she continues to seem vaguely irritated that she's interacting with him ("You can be such a child"). He sets the dreamspike up inside the cavern to protect Rand and asks the wolves to guard the outside of the cavern (this is all in TAR).

11. Egwene feels so gross as she heads towards the meeting that she is about to have with the Seanchan, because she knows that the Seanchan fighting means damane fighting, which means forcing slaves into battle.

Tuon sits on her mobile throne, with a train being held by eight slaves in transparent robes. Literally every time Tuon's lifestyle is described, it just sounds like something that is going to make Mat so incredibly miserable.

lol, the narrative tries to convince us that Tuon is "calculating" and "discerning" through Egwene's description of her eyes. I've been in the girl's head. I'll grant you "manipulative" and "can spot an obvious clue when it's shoved under her nose" but that's as far as I'll go. Egwene, you were absolutely right when you assumed that Tuon would be coddled and spoiled. I speak as someone who was forced through two long books of "a brat goes on a circus tour and throws several tantrums".

12. Anyway, both Egwene and Tuon feel contempt for each other -- Tuon for what Egwene inherently is as a person (a channeler) and Egwene for the person that Tuon chooses to be (a slaver).

Which we can see in the way they talk to each other -- Tuon calls Egwene an animal, while Egwene calls Tuon a criminal who would be at home with murderers and rapists. Tuon sees what Egwene is as the problem with her, while Egwene sees who Tuon is as the issue with her. These are not the same as each other.

13. So here on page 471 (hardback version), Mat has finally shown up to the Last Battle. Over halfway into the book! Literally makes me want to stab a wall that Mat spent half the book just fucking around with slavers instead of helping with the Last Battle. I assume we're supposed to feel like the Seanchan coming to help would be impossible without Mat, because he shamed Tuon into actually keeping her word, but there were better roads of getting Mat there that didn't make him a deserter and a defector. But I'm guessing making Mat those things was the point of his impossible teleportation logistics between books.

Just. Ugh.

14. The reason that Egwene realizes that Mat is here, among the collection of "frozen Blood in various poses" around Tuon, is because Tuon turns to berate him for not telling her that Egwene was once captured as damane and thus making her show her ass in public when she tried to argue that Egwene would understand how great being a slave is if only she'd tried it.

The question I have here is: are we supposed to believe Mat when he claims that he only didn't tell Tuon about Egwene having been captured as damane because he 'didn't think on it too long' that Egwene's captivity had happened. It's in Egwene's PoV so we are, once again, not in Mat's head. The main good quality that Mat has been able to hold onto when he's been around the Seanchan has been keeping his friends' secrets. tbh it seems more likely to me that he just didn't think it was Tuon's business (it would have been a pretty big betrayal of Egwene's privacy for him to confide that in Tuon, imo?). But, yeah, Tuon explicitly says here that she is going to have a "not pleasant" conversation with Mat about him holding back information on her. And it pretty clearly comes across as a threat.

Yikes.

15. Egwene does seem to believe here that Tuon has made a grave mistake by marrying Mat... but it's explicitly because Mat is ta'veren and Tuon has trapped herself into his web. And it amuses her because she assumes it can't mean anything good for Tuon or the Seanchan in the long term. (I mean, given that Mat has gotten hundreds of thousands of people killed on the Westlands side... yeah, it does seem like a lot of dead Seanchan are in the future on Tuon's side, and Mat might never even realize he was the enabling factor). So this is the one time that I'll allow for a character to be amused that Mat has married a slaver -- Egwene clearly sees this as Tuon having screwed herself over in the future without realizing it.

Though Mat does throw out a "may she live forever" (eyeroll), he is also still calling her 'Tuon', despite the threat of execution. And note that Mat is still of the opinion that "being ta'veren has never gotten me much" so he doesn't seem particularly happy about being married.

16. Yeah, Tuon also makes it very clear that the new clothes and the new name are deliberate attempts to separate Mat away from his past connections and make it clear that Tuon owns him now. "He serves the Seanchan, the Crystal Throne, and the Empress."

She is isolating him from his previous friends and making it clear that he belongs to her. Egwene is 100% right in her instincts that he needs to be saved from Tuon, even if Mat himself doesn't realize it (or, potentially, does realize it but isn't willing to admit to it).

17. So Egwene has to renegotiate with Tuon because now that Rand is gone, Tuon is forcing everyone to start from page one with her again, because she is a coddled and spoiled brat who wants to eke out more concessions if she can get them.

But the results of Tuon attempting to re-negotiate with Egwene now that Rand is off on his mission actually ends up backfiring on Tuon overall, I think! -- Egwene gets Tuon to agree to leave Tremalking alone (because they haven't found a compliant Sea Folk leader along the lines of Beslan to lend them legitimacy) and Egwene makes a spirited attempt to get Tuon to agree to allow women who have just been discovered but not yet collared the opportunity to choose to go the White Tower instead, leaning on Tuon's stated belief that marath'damane want to be slaves so it's no big deal to offer them the option of freedom.

But Tuon does balk at this idea, unfortunately, because she gets scared when Egwene mentions that all sul'dam are marath'damane.

18. Egwene, because she actually is discerning and calculating, picked up on what Tuon said about having trained damane herself and says, in front of the Blood, that as a sul'dam, Tuon is capable of channeling. Which Tuon already knows -- she learned this in KoD -- but she calls Egwene a liar because living in denial is the only way she can keep her power base and nothing matters more to Tuon than sucking up all the power in the world. It really does suck so much that we came up to the brink of Something Actually Happening with the Seanchan storyline and then backed away like cowards. There will never be any outriggers! Pull off the damn bandaid while the books are still running!

We don't get any mention of the Blood or the various damane & sul'dam who are around reacting to this bit of information either, but they do hear Egwene call ~their Empress~ out on being a liar, and call their Empire out on being a machine of cruelty that tortures women into fates worse than death. Will that matter? Who the fuck knows. Maybe one or two of the Blood here will feel a pang of conscience, as Leilwin née Egeanin did, and begin the slow and painful process of changing. Or maybe not.

And it is satisfying to get to see someone calling Tuon out on what a hypocrite she is -- she's all for preaching that other people should get put into the collar because they're just ~meant~ to be slaves but of course she wouldn't do it to herself. Of course she wouldn't. The idea terrifies her to death, I'm sure. Which also shows how deeply in denial she is when she claims that marath'damane just naturally want to be collared and anything other than that is a weird outlier. She knows damn well that it isn't true, because she doesn't long for the collar herself. But if she stuffs her fingers in her ears and just shouts that she's not marath'damane loudly enough, she can make herself believe it.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that Tuon did not go into this conversation looking to be publicly accused of being marath'damane herself, especially not in front of a crowd of Blood, so I feel like this one was a win for Egwene.

19. When things get to be really heated between Egwene & Tuon, with Egwene embracing the Power, Mat intercedes. What Mat says here is gross and demeaning; and I think we can all agree on that (a threat to take them over "over his knee" as if that would even be possible in this situation), but Egwene doesn't take it seriously for a second because she can see that Mat is trying to deflect her and Tuon away from each other and onto him (also frustrating though, because I really wanted something to Actually Happen with Tuon).

Also, we get a reminder that Tuon is a big ol' liar about not being jealous over Mat and other women, because she stares at where Mat's hand is touching Egwene's chest until he lowers his hand.

It also leads to another threat from Tuon about how she and Mat will have "many words" tonight, but they do both back down. But, wow, Tuon is so jealous over Egwene here, which is hilarious from the perspective of actually knowing anything about Egwene and Mat's friendship.

(sadly, I must take away Egwene's right to be amused at Mat's marriage at this point in the conversation, when she bizarrely attempts to commiserate ??? with Tuon over Mat's foul language)

Also, I will note that Egwene offers to help free him from the Seanchan, Mat doesn't tell her that he doesn't need to be freed, he tells her that he can handle it on his own. Slightly different things. Do you have an exit strategy, Mat?

Egwene is still determined to help Mat get free of the Seanchan somehow. AU idea where she does!

So, Mat leaves with Tuon and we know that she plans to have a 'not pleasant' conversation with him. So I will mark that in my notes to keep in mind the next time we see Mat.

20. As we've been going through the various battlefields, the 'great captains' have continued to make bone-headed mistakes. As we return to Elayne, it seems like this is coming to a head, as Tam confronts Bashere.

(and, no, she doesn't think about how Tam is Rand's dad and will be her kid's grandfather. Why would she, apparently?)

Tam accuses Bashere of not using scouts and falsifying scouting reports instead, saying that Bashere is to blame for the bad tactics that have happened in the recent battles. After considering how badly they've been trapped by the Shadowspawn, Elayne orders Bashere relieved from duty and has Talmanes take him away with the Band's Redarms.

And now Elayne is the one leading the army here, not Bashere.

21. Bryne gets one right for calling Tuon "that Imperial monster of a Seanchan leader". I have to admit, so far, there is less of the "let's hold hands with the Seanchan" vibe that I remembered and more "ugh, fuck, I guess we gotta hold our noses and deal with the Seanchan" vibe, at least in most chapters. It's really Mat's bizarro-world PoVs that tend to throw everything else off, and Mat has been kept ignorant of the Seanchan's recent actions under Tuon's guidance.

Bryne actually made Min do some real work by having her clerk for one of his people! Okay, Bryne has two rights. This is the first time Min has done any real work in what feels like forever. Being away from Rand is already doing her some good. But now the tent she was working in has been destroyed, so he puts her to work as a messenger (Min actually volunteers, which is definitely better than how she behaved when she was with Rand).

I kinda feel like my own opinion of the romances in WoT does hinge pretty strongly on "do they become less interesting characters when they are spending time with [love interest]?" but also on "what else do they have going on besides being [main character]'s love interest?".

ex. I liked Min best in TSR and once she starts really one-note obsessing over Rand in TFoH and onward, my interest in her nosedives because it feels like she has zero interests or drives outside of Rand. Get a hobby, Min! One that isn't about Rand (so the interest in 'philosophy' doesn't count). There's this incredibly depressing scene in, I think it was TFOH but it might have been the very start of LoC, where Elayne wants to talk to Min about something other than Rand and Min is just completely incapable of turning off the Rand-obsession long enough to think of a single good thing that doesn't revolve around Rand-Rand-Rand (the scene was not meant to be depressing but it definitely made me go 'yikes, Min, please get literally anything in your life that isn't about Rand').

22. So Min is off to the "Seanchan Empress" to tell her to send cavalry to the battlefield. Because Tuon is currently doing her best to hold back as many of her forces as she can and is negotiating them out piece-meal.

When she arrives at the Seanchan camp, Min notes how many forces are just lazing around doing nothing when they could be helping in the Last Battle. Min thinks for a moment that she wishes that she could have gone with Rand to Shayol Ghul but she has finally realized that she's only a liability to him in situations like that. Finally. I do note that apparently Rand had to 'forbid' her from going, though, so if he'd let her, she would have happily been a liability to him.

Anyway, Min was told by Rand to keep an eye on Fortuona, so I'll keep that in mind.

23. "Speak what criticism one would about the Seanchan -- and Min had a number of things she could add to that conversation -- they certainly were organized."

I really wish that Sanderson actually let Min think some of her specific criticisms about the Seanchan here rather than the narration veiling it. Because the way this is written ends up praising without critique, because the criticism remains politely unvoiced. One must always be polite about the slavers who want to dehumanize your friends and your lover, I guess.

Min was in Falme with Egwene! She actually saw Egwene being punished! She was even blamed for some of Egwene's punishments (which were all Renna's fault, of course, and not Min's) and she listened to Egwene scream and cry out in agony.

Let Min actually remember some of that in the text here rather than sweeping it all under the rug! She knows that the da'covale are slaves, for example, because she was in Falme. But instead of calling them slaves, she calls them "immodestly-dressed young women". Let Min actually have a thought here about how she disapproves of slavery! Put that on the record!

And Min thinking here that the Seanchan "couldn't possibly be as prickly as the Aiel". You... you literally listened to Egwene weeping in pain while she was being tortured for such crimes as "wanting to keep her own name" and "not wanting to be a slave" and "letting her friend visit her". wtf, Min.

24. Min has never seen Mat's hat before, but she thinks here that he has topped his new silken Seanchan outfit with his "familiar hat". I really do wonder if there was a draft of AMoL where Mat was in Merrilor, because then Min and Mat would have had a chance to meet back when Mat was in his old clothes and it would make sense for her to recognize his hat here. Because as it is, that's literally a nonsense thing for Min to think. The last time she saw Mat was at the end of book 2. Mat got his hat during book 4.

Min and Mat reunite like old buddies. They barely know each other. Let's tot up the times that they've met:

off-the-page in-between TGH and TDR, while Mat was dying from the dagger, in the handful of days that Mat was there before Verin took him & Elayne, Egwene, & Nynaeve off to the White Tower

That's it. That's the only entry. Mat didn't meet her in Baerlon -- Rand told him about her afterward. Apart from that, their only possible knowledge of each other comes from what Rand might have passed along. It is genuinely bizarre that they are behaving like old friends. They met once, almost two years ago, when one of them was dying. Mat has seen her having sex with Rand from time to time in his color swirl visions, but Min doesn't have access to that. They missed seeing each other in Caemlyn by four days, because Rand sends Mat off to Salidar before Min shows up with the embassy. They are the next best thing to complete strangers to each other, except that Mat has unintentionally seen Min naked several times.

It's Min and Perrin who have a friendship. It's funny, how Sanderson buffed up Perrin's friendships with Rand & Mat, but erased Perrin's friendship with Min. Perrin and Min, per canon, spent a lot of time talking to each other in between TGH & TDR (more time than either of them spent with Rand, who spent most of his time either brooding alone or arguing with Moiraine).

This is definitely "writing to the epilogue" convenience. But it could have made sense if Mat and Min had met back in the early chapters of the book while Mat was in Merrilor after he'd returned with Moiraine & Thom.

25. Mat tries to press Min for any new viewings about him. That's... interesting. Someone wants a new fate? I'm feeling curious about how Mat and Tuon's 'not pleasant' conversation went. Min deflects the conversation to viewings about the Seanchan general and I really don't care. Except to note that, sadly, Galgan probably won't try to kill Tuon because Mat is now the next one in the line of succession.

26. Why in the world would Min bow to Tuon? Seriously, girl, wtf. This is what I mean about how the narrative itself feels like it tiptoes around Tuon. Why would Min care so much about respecting Seanchan titles and nobility? She thinks here that she doesn't care about any other nobility but somehow the word 'Empress' triggers the worship reflex in her hindbrain or something? wtf. "It was only proper to show respect to Fortuona". Literally why? Why is the emphasis in Min's chapter about being polite to the slavers? Why is that the overriding vibe of this section -- Min's desire to make a good impression on the slavers? She didn't try this hard (or at all) with the Aiel. It's things like this that make me feel like Tuon must be ta'veren, because that feels like a thought that Tuon just plopped into Min's brain without permission.

Also, after Tuon enters literally just as Mat has mentioned her to Min, Mat then quotes "Say the name of Darkness, and his eye is upon you". Um. Yeah. So I feel like that 'not pleasant' conversation didn't go very well. (*whispers* he just compared his wife to the Dark One */whispers*).

He is also still using "Tuon" in casual conversation. And he doesn't get down on the floor, even though everyone else (including Min, for whatever reason) does.

27. And Mat is straight-up baiting Tuon in this conversation, or at least it feels that way (and using Min as a weapon while he does it). Yeah, I get the feeling that 'not pleasant' conversation went extremely poorly (was telling Tuon that Min is "the Dragon Reborn's woman" his way of trying to protect her from being poached by Tuon but Min didn't pick up on it? or was it his way of assuaging Tuon's raging jealousy issues by letting her know that Min is 'taken' and Mat doesn't plan on screwing her?)

I almost wonder if he's testing Tuon here -- seeing if her threats have any teeth? She told him that she could have him killed if he kept using the name 'Tuon' and he has not stopped, not even after the 'not pleasant' conversation. Kinda interesting that Mat seems considerably more combative with Tuon after their 'not pleasant' private discussion than he ever has been before. Wish we'd gotten to see that conversation (important moments, etc.).

Mat warns Min that Tuon snatches people up and doesn't let them go -- Min here thinks that Mat sounds "almost proud" but tbh I don't give Min much credit for her insight into people so I will take that with a grain of salt -- and yet Min (who can never resist blabbing about her viewings to everyone in sight) immediately spills about a viewing that someone is going to try to kill Tuon.

Literally why in the world would she bother to say anything? Why would she do this to herself? Rand said nothing about going out of her way to save the head slaver's life.

Min does have the habit of being swept up by people who have stronger personalities than she does -- Moiraine, then Siuan, then Rand, then Cadsuane, and now Tuon, I guess.

I do have to crack up at Min lying to herself and saying that she hasn't accidentally blabbed a viewing in years. Even if she doesn't remember blabbing Elayne's pregnancy to the entire royal palace of Caemlyn, she sleepily blabbed out Melaine's pregnancy without thinking about it too and we know she remembers that one because it was the whole basis for why the Wise Ones treated her as an ~honorary Wise One~ for, like, two books.

If Min didn't already have an established habit of constantly talking about her viewings, I would chalk this up to Tuon being ta'veren as well but... she does.

28. Tuon just goes up and touches Min's face without permission. Probably thinking about checking her teeth. Anyway, she pronounces Min a 'Doomseer' and Min has just screwed herself for the foreseeable future.

Tuon views Min as a "gift" that Mat has given her to "pay your penance" (presumably for not volunteering information about Egwene) so... yeah, that gives us some insight into the 'not pleasant' conversation. I wonder if Mat will think back to it at all in the next PoV we get from him. Probably not. I feel like I would remember that.

Tuon names Min as her new Truthspeaker, probably thrilled that she can now shove Selucia back into the box of not having any opinions that Tuon hasn't told her to have. Her emotional support slave was having too many independent thoughts and we can't have that.

Anyway, Min's viewings never really helped Rand, so she probably won't actually help Tuon much either, so I guess that's a relief.

But, yeah, not a fun situation for Min. Though I guess Mat now has company in his hellhole of a prison, so there's that.

...okay, now I've got "Two Lost Souls" from Damn Yankees in my head.

29. Just as Tam picked up on how Bashere's 'tactical mistakes' keep helping the Shadowspawn in the last section, Lan has picked out the same when it comes to his own 'great captain' -- two reserve forces were both sent to shore up the same hole in the lines, resulting in confusion and also the ranks being too thin in other places.

30. So, yeah, the set-up continues for Team Light to be forced to trust the General of the Slavers with the armies despite his recent horrible life choices. We note here that it has been 'weeks' for Lan now.

Lan countermands Agelmar's latest order, as he's realized how badly it would expose part of their army and compromise any potential retreat, so Lan has de facto taken over the army here, just as Elayne has over in the Cairhien/Caemlyn section of the battle.

31. Mat lets us know here Min has also been re-dressed in fancy Seanchan clothes. Apparently without any attempt to stick in her own clothes? She's an 'honored holy woman' per Tuon, so you would imagine means she has leverage to wear her own clothes if she wants. (of course, if it doesn't give her any leverage, then that would be useful information for the reader to have)

Anyway, we are back in Mat's head, for the first time since his disappointing reunion scene with Rand. We've seen him from the outside a few times since then -- in Tuon, Egwene, and finally Min's eyes.

Mat announces that he needs to go out and look at the actual battlefield. He thinks in his head that it's because the maps are "too simplistic" but I wonder if part of his motivation is taking a chance and getting some fresh air while his ~slaver bride~ is off doing "some empressly duty". I'm still curious about that 'not pleasant' conversation of 'many words' that they had after Tuon and Egwene met. He also yanks off part of his 'Seanchan uniform' here, leaving himself in his scarf, medallion, and breeches. He'd rather walk around shirtless than wear the fancy Seanchan duds, it seems.

(this life is going to make him so miserable)

32. Yeah, Min is now wearing a dress, with no apparent protest. Mat notes that she's pretty and then additionally notes that he needs to be careful with smiles around women now because his wife might stab him if he smiles too much at other women. So, yeah, I'm thinking part of the 'not pleasant' conversation was Tuon making her jealousy issues very very clear to Mat. But despite Mat's protests that hooking up with Rand means that Min is "practically his sister", his narration does make it clear that he's attracted to her.

(this life is going to make him so miserable)

"Mat had always considered Min on the boyish side" - you met her one time! During the foggy period of your memory when you were dying! The narration really is behaving like Perrin and Mat's friendships have been swapped around in this book -- Perrin is the one who has the stronger friendships with Rand and Elayne now; while Mat now has the stronger friendship with Min. Before this book, the opposite was true of all of those things. I guess we can assume that this is about Rand & Min screwing in the color swirls but Min would have been at least partly naked for a lot of those.

33. Anyway, Mat had his own clothes hidden away and changes into them now, when Tuon isn't here to protest, and then sneaks off to look at the battlefield before she can come back to berate him again. Lessons learned from his time with Tylin?

(Min does say here that she's tempted to strip off too, but she keeps wearing the Seanchan clothes for whatever reason)

We do also learn here the very important information that the Seanchan guards respond to bribes (Mat bribed them into keeping and hiding his clothes for him here). Though Mat also notes that it's only the free guards and not the slaves.

34. It's so sad here that Mat has to feel grateful that Tuon "understood that [Mat] needed" the foxhead medallion and returned it to him. He's grateful that he's allowed to use his own personal items and that she didn't permanently keep what she'd stolen from him.

(this life is going to make him so miserable)

...hmm. I'm going to keep an eye on the medallions. Because technically Mat has two right now (his original and a copy that Elayne made), but he hasn't mentioned the second one at all.

35. Sadly, going for Pips means that "unfortunately, someone had time to alert" Tuon that Mat was slipping away, and so she comes to confront him (so I was right about part of the reason behind him bailing on the command tent was trying to get away from Tuon).

Mat once again warns Min that it's very dangerous here: "they know how to treat a fellow, as long as they don't behead him. I'm still trying to figure out how to prevent that from happening."

Hmm, Mat gives Min the "sell" on staying with the Seanchan... he says that it would help Rand because she can attempt to mislead Tuon about her 'omens' to try to guide Tuon onto a less-awful path. I imagine that's how Mat is justifying his own choices too but we saw that when he actually had a chance to try to guide Tuon onto a better path, he froze and said nothing while Rand did all the negotiating. But Mat does make it clear here that he still disapproves of what the Seanchan are doing; he's just... sticking around and helping anyway for whatever reason.

But, yeah, "lie to Tuon to try to subtly direct her choices" being part of Mat's advice to Min is... illuminating, to be sure. Did Mat lie to/mislead Tuon during their recent 'not pleasant' private discussion?

36. Yeah, we see here very directly that Mat doesn't always mean what he says around Tuon, when he pretends to be happy that she's coming along with him to survey the battlefield while "groaning inside". This is what I was talking about back when I was questioning all of the other character's interpretations of Mat's behavior in the previous few chapters -- most of the characters in the books are not very good at reading Mat. Tuon has failed to accurately judge him on multiple occasions, Egwene will always at least partly see him as the troublemaker from her hometown, and Min barely knows him.

Also, Mat was expecting to be berated for changing his clothes but Tuon says nothing about it at this time. Hey, Min, maybe you should take the opportunity to change yours too?

It is good to see Mat attempting to push back on Tuon, even if it's on relatively minor things.

It really is the decision to make Mat a deserter that screwed his characterization over so hard in this book. If Mat had gone to Merrilor and then gone to Ebou Dar, pretty much everything would make more sense. There's only a couple of scenes so far that have 'needed' Mat to be a willing traitor in order to play out the way that they did (mostly just Egwene's shock at seeing him hanging out with the Seanchan) and almost everything else would make more sense if Mat had gone back to Ebou Dar as a negotiator on behalf of the Westlands.

37. On the minus side, we have some really weird stuff here where Mat dehumanizes one of the Seanchan generals for the crime of being a woman that he doesn't want to fuck. While Mat did start basically thinking about every woman that he met in terms of fuckability back around... A Crown of Swords, I want to say... he didn't act like 'not being fuckable' made women unpeople and he's kinda going that way here and it's super gross.

38. On her own front in the battlefield, Egwene sees a huge tactical blunder by Bryne that leaves one of their flanks wide-open to the enemy and vulnerable, and now she is also going to go question him, as it looked distinctly like he set up a trap that benefited the Shadowspawn. So that's all of the fronts except Ituralde (who is just outside of Shayol Ghul).

After questioning Agelmar, Lan suspects it is Compulsion that is behind his recent poor battle decisions, and Lan has him relieved from duty. Also, Tenobia conveniently gets killed on the battlefield and brings Faile one step closer to ruling Saldaea.

39. Back with Mat, Tuon, Min, and Selucia. Poor Selucia. She got half a book of being allowed to have her own opinions but now she's just Tuon's Voice/bodyguard again and gets to speak no words but Tuon's.

Min is obediently telling Tuon all her viewings and her interpretations of them, just like she always does when she's under the thumb of someone with a more forceful personality than her own. This is kinda why I feel like Mat's hope that she will lead Tuon onto better paths is likely not going to pan out -- because Min's viewings do not have a moral component, not that we're aware of, and she is spilling them all out indiscriminately.

And Tuon will likely continue to be her own horrible self, no matter what viewings Min has. But I guess we'll see how that relationship plays out.

Min has not only told Tuon all the viewings she had about Tuon but also her viewings about Mat, over Mat's protests. Min likes to claim that she doesn't do things like that, but wow, she does it all the time. It does feel like fandom doesn't really acknowledge that both Min & Perrin lie about themselves in their own heads just as much as Mat or Nynaeve do. Min believes that she's discreet about her viewings, when she's a blabbermouth most of the time, and Perrin believes that he thinks things through before he acts, when he's actually wildly reckless and impulsive pretty frequently.

40. It's interesting that Min and Mat greeted each other like old friends yet are now essentially working at cross-purposes -- Mat suggested to Min that ('for Rand') she mislead Tuon in order to craft a narrative that would make Tuon soften towards Aes Sedai (and also more minor things like "try to get her to stop wanting to get rid of my hat") but Min, like Galad, wants to be rigidly honest and is telling Tuon everything, not giving a care that she's telling Tuon other people's secrets (and we know she's telling real secrets, because she's now told Tuon all of Mat's old viewings that we know from before, against Mat's express wishes). So Min is essentially unintentionally teaching Mat that she is not an ally to him and that she will sell him out to Tuon if he confides in her. Which means that Mat is, once again, all alone in the middle of an enemy camp that he feels obligated to stay in (now matter how unhappy it makes him) Because Wife.

Mat and Tuon really is peak "enforced heterosexual monogamy" culture. They explicitly are married due not to their own desires but to external pressures (the prophecies) and feel obligated to stick it out even though, on Tuon's side, she feels like she has a wildly chaotic husband that she doesn't know how to control and, on Mat's side, everything about the situation is constantly making him miserable. I believe he thinks at one point (in some future chapter?) that he could be happy if it was just him and Tuon in a life far away from the Seanchan but... that really is him picturing himself and his Fictional Tuon character (not cold, not possessive, Not Like The Other Seanchan) rather than himself and Actual Fortuona. I'm sure Mat and his fake Tuon could find happiness running away from the throne, but fake Tuon doesn't exist so... yeah.

41. Mat is able to get "five minutes" by himself and rides down to talk to Perrin's slaver BFF Tylee. Much like Egwene had just realized, Mat learns here from Tylee that Bryne is making bad calls that are compromising his army.

*sigh*

Mat stuffs himself into Seanchan armor at this point. Well, he had a spine about wearing his own clothing for, like, five minutes. Maybe that's all we can hope for out of him these days. It is at least real 'on the field' armor rather than the ceremonial silk this time.

Also: Tuon's desire to constantly be keeping an eye on Mat vs Mat's desire to have some breathing room seems like a fight in their marriage that is going to reoccur a lot.

42. Anyway, Mat goes to personally take a unit out to relieve Bryne's soldiers because it looks like they've gotten very bad orders and he needs to correct them personally. I... don't have an issue with this apart from the whole "ugh, Seanchan" thing? Mat can see that the battle is going extremely poorly and wants to investigate from the inside because from what he can see, it looks like the general in charge is deliberately ordering bad tactics. That's not something that Mat can fix simply by sending contrary orders because he is not the main general of this battlefield. Bryne is. So Mat going out to take direct control of a specific part so that he can, essentially, undermine Bryne's bad orders before he goes to deal with the root of the issue makes sense because this is a time-sensitive situation.

Tylee tries to give Mat some damane slaves for the battle and he refuses.

Once again, like it did in Min's PoV, the narrative has yet another character praise the Seanchan's sense of organization while implying that the character has critiques about the Seanchan but not mentioning the specific issues that they have. Actually let Mat share his critiques about the Seanchan with the reader! Stop veiling the critiques behind "oh, I have some issues but I won't say what they are".

43. Mat is really really attracted to the enemy Sharan channeler. Until she tries to kill him but, yeah, he literally stops and stares at the channeler on the opposing side. Though that doesn't stop him from knocking her out with his spear when her weaves fail on him and he's able to get close.

*resigned sigh*

After this battle, Mat is now willing to throw damane slaves at the enemy.

Mat has also really really impressed the Ever Victorious Army. Something to keep in mind for post-canon 'Mat conducts a coup' thoughts. Between Egwene feeling like Tuon has accidentally gotten herself trapped in Mat's ta'veren web, Tuon's own "[Mat] would never be a rival" thoughts, how swiftly Mat is winning over the officers, and Mat's own words to Min about how she should craft a narrative to deceive Tuon into behaving the way she wants her to behave... there are some interesting puzzle pieces here for a post-canon "Mat deposes Tuon and takes over the Seanchan Empire" or "Mat tricks Tuon into thinking she's in charge while he's the real power in the Empire" storyline.

I really wish that Sanderson & Team Jordan hadn't made Mat a deserter at the start of the book; it really did start Mat off on such a bad foot, narratively-speaking, by weighting him so heavily on the side of the slavers without any kind of narrative justification for the choice (we still don't know how Mat got to Ebou Dar originally -- Sanderson really was like "okay, it makes no sense, so I'll just let readers fill in a reason that they can justify to themselves"). But even with that massive off-the-page weighting on the side of the slavers, Mat is listing back towards the Westlands side of things (as he has done time and time again). Over and over, Mat gets forcibly yanked over towards the Seanchan and then starts drifting away from them again (requiring another heavy-handed course-correction from the Authors).

44. Mat does change back into his "Two Rivers" coat here. ...wait, Mat's coat is a "Two Rivers" coat? When did that happen? When did Mat go back to the Two Rivers to get a coat? Or did he get it from Perrin's army? Anyway, he did change back into his own clothes after the battle.

Oh! Oh, this must be a coat that Elayne's person picked out for him (as per his request in ToM)! Elayne's person found him a Two Rivers coat? She really is magic. I love her.

Mat does realize here that the Sharan channeler that he captured is almost certainly going to end up damane. Should have just killed her.

45. Tuon is currently so pissed at Mat that she's only speaking to him through Selucia (now back in her role as Tuon's opinionless Voice). Mat notes this as a 'bad sign' but he also does keep calling her Tuon. Maybe he doesn't back down and start referring to her formally as she told him to do; maybe that was something that my memory was incorrect on, which would be nice.

"Your life is no longer your own," Tuon tells him through Selucia. I wonder if that's also part of the reason that Mat went out on the battlefield -- a way of declaring that his life is his own, even if that means potentially throwing it away.

Mat references Nynaeve here -- I'm not sure whether or not Tuon got Nynaeve's name in the conversation she had with Rand and Nynaeve back in TGS. I'll go check.

Yep, Rand says Nynaeve's name when she chastises him for trying to pretend that he doesn't care about Mat in front of Tuon. So Tuon knows that Mat is talking about a channeler here.

46. Yikes. Tuon 'gives' the Sharan channeler that Mat captured to him as his own personal damane slave. He tries to give her back to Tuon (also gross and yikes) but Tuon won't let him. Mat does refer to her as a channeler and not marath'damane but... ugh. But this is the continuation of Tuon's campaign to brainwash and integrate Mat into being fully-Seanchan, so her actions here are no surprise.

Mat is now given control of the Seanchan armies over Galgan, and they send Min back to Egwene to tell her that Bryne is helping the Shadow with how he's behaving with the army.

47. So things are incredibly dire and yet there have been no thoughts of "wow wish Mat were here to blow the Horn of Valere". It's so bizarre that everyone is just completely chill with a powerful artifact that is literally meant for the Last Battle to be just hanging out unusable!

Anyway, the Black Tower Asha'man show up here to relieve Elayne's people, who are sorely pressed.

Here's my thought: I think Sanderson was too much in love with the whole "on the very edge of being broken, the cavalry shows up" idea aka Gandalf coming to save the day at Minas Tirith. Not everything needs to be last second like that. If everything is dramatic then nothing is truly dramatic. In real life, you wouldn't wait until after the point of hope to blow the horn that brings a magic army to fight on your side. You would want to do it as soon as it looks like your own forces aren't going to be enough.

48. Min stayed dressed in all her Seanchan finery to go deliver her message to Egwene. Min's conversation with Egwene is so bizarrely tone-deaf on Min's side of things? She complains about being ~pampered~ by the Seanchan and that their rich food isn't to her taste and when Egwene ~reminds her~ that Egwene has 'enjoyed' Seanchan 'hospitality', Min is basically just "Oops, yeah, my bad, oh well, back to business."

Wow, Min's lack of empathy for the horrific trauma that she witnessed Egwene going through is kinda shocking.

For your consideration, Min in Falme:

When Min asks Egwene not to kill herself out of despair, Egwene tells her that she physically can't. That she can't use anything that she thinks of as a weapon.

She tells Min:

"A few weeks ago I considered hitting Renna over the head with that pitcher, and I could not pour wash water for three days. Once I'd thought of it that way, I not only had to stop thinking about hitting her with it, I had to convince myself I would never, under any circumstances, hit her with it before I could touch it again. She knew what had happened, told me what I had to do, and would not let me wash anywhere except with that pitcher and bowl. You are lucky it happened between your visiting days. Renna made sure I spent those days sweating from the time I woke to the time I fell asleep, exhausted. I am trying to fight them, but they are training me as surely as they’re training Pura.” She clapped a hand to her mouth, moaning through her teeth. “Her name is Ryma. I have to remember her name, not the name they've put on her. She's Ryma, and she's Yellow Ajah, and she has fought them as long and as hard as she could. It is no fault of hers that she hasn't the strength left to fight any longer. I wish I knew who the other sister is that Ryma mentioned. I wish I knew her name. Remember us both, Min. Ryma, of the Yellow Ajah, and Egwene al'Vere. Not Egwene the damane; Egwene al'Vere of Edmond's Field.' "

...

The door swung open, and Renna stepped in.

Egwene jumped to her feet and bowed sharply, as did Min. The tiny room was crowded for bowing, but Seanchan insisted on protocol before comfort.

"Your visiting day, is it?" Renna said. "I had forgotten. Well, there is training to be done even on visiting days."

...

Renna puts on the bracelet and senses that Egwene was channeling without permission:

"You have been channeling." Renna's voice was deceptively mild; there was a spark of anger in her eyes. "You know that is forbidden except when we are complete." Egwene wet her lips. "Perhaps I have been too lenient with you. Perhaps you believe that because you are valuable now, you will be allowed license. I think I made a mistake in letting you keep your old name. I had a kitten name Tuli when I was a child. From now on, your name is Tuli. You will go now, Min. Your visiting day with Tuli is ended."

Min hesitated only long enough for one anguished look at Egwene before leaving.

...

Then, in Min's PoV right after she leaves the room:

Outside in the low-ceilinged hallway, Min dug her nails into her palms at the first piercing cry from the room. She took a step towards the door before she could stop herself, and when she did stop, tears sprang up in her eyes. Light help me, all I can do is make it worse. Egwene, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Feeling worse than useless, she picked up her skirts and ran, and Egwene's screams pursued her. She could not make herself stay, and leaving made her feel a coward. Half blind with weeping, she found herself in the street before she knew it. She had intended to go back to her room, but now she could not do it. She could not stand the thought that Egwene was being hurt while she sat warm and safe under the next roof. Scrubbing the tears from her eyes, she swept her cloak around her shoulders and started down the street. Every time she cleared her eyes, new tears began trickling along her cheeks. She was not accustomed to weeping openly, but then she was not accustomed to feeling so helpless, so useless. She did not know where she was going, only that it had to be as far as she could reach from Egwene's cries.

Compare all that to Min right now: wearing Seanchan silks and whining about how their fanciest food isn't to her liking.

Anyway, she delivers her message from Mat, and Egwene says that she'll take it under consideration.

49. In Ituralde's PoV, we learn about the kinds of nightmares that Graendal has been putting in their heads, and the kinds of thoughts. Three separate times, Ituralde has almost given an order for his men to engage in a direct assault against the Shadowspawn but then been able to pull back again before he gave the Graendal-influenced order, so he's doing better than the other captains. I wonder if his experience in getting all those confusing messages from 'his king' (but actually Graendal) is helping him here. We see him fighting the urge to give one of those bad orders now and he's fighting it extremely hard and then Perrin shows up before he gives in and says it. And Ituralde is so relieved to give up his command because he can tell that something is wonky with his own thinking!

50. Egwene notices that Gawyn doesn't seem tired but he does seem 'strangely pale'. :-(

Thinking about Mat makes Egwene feel "strangely sick". That is such the mood when talking about post-WH Mat, yeah. We are twinsies in this feeling, Egwene. But after thinking it through and remembering the times when Mat has come through when needed, she decides that she is going to trust him, though it makes her feel like she's a fool for doing it. "Mat could be wrong. He was often wrong. But when he was right, he saved lives." and "[Mat] was a scoundrel and a fool but she trusted him. Light help her, but she did. She trusted him with her life."

Not sure Mat deserves that right now, tbh, but it's a sweet thought from Egwene.

And maybe he does.

I'm thinking about 'a ribbon that felt like a chain'. Thinking about Mat considering his father's advice for dealing with cheats during a trade. Thinking about Mat telling Min to pick and choose between her viewings to attempt to guide Tuon onto a better path. Thinking about Mat putting on a Two Rivers coat during the Last Battle.

Maybe he does.

I guess we'll see.

The ultimate factor, once Egwene realizes that Bryne was Compelled, is that she knows that Mat cannot be touched by saidar or saidin, so he is the only general they can trust not to be corrupted by the Forsaken.

#wot #wheel of time #wot reread #wot book spoilers #wot spoilers #wot amol spoilers #wot a memory of light spoilers #mat cauthon #egwene al'vere #min farshaw #seanchan content warning

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sevensoulmates · 9 days

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i wonder if people would be okay with eddie being bisexual. shannon as the only woman he fell in love with and buck as the only man eddie fell in love with. bisexual people also suffer from catholic guilt (i'm bi, latina and my family is catholic), but i don't think 9-1-1 would give us bi4bi romance. i just hope that, if eddie is bi, fans don't get mad and say things like 'it doesn't make sense'

Oh goodness, now we're getting into some iffy territory here. So, WARNING, if you follow my blog, you may already know that I personally headcanon Eddie as a repressed gay man, and not bisexual. And I have very specific reasons for that. HOWEVER, if the show DID want to go with Eddie also being bisexual, I would 100% accept that, because you're right bisexual people 100% also experience catholic guilt and comphet as well. All of that could definitely fit into the bisexual experience too. It would also make sense to the story...to a certain degree. So here's my warning again, I'm going to dive into my headcanon here, so be warned this is just MY opinion and is not indicative of all queer experiences real, fictional or otherwise.

Here's my reasons why I feel the story aligns closer to repressed gay than bisexual for Eddie. I simply don't believe that Eddie really ever was in love with Shannon. Loved her as his best friend, yes. Deeply loved her as the mother of his child? Yes. Loved her as a person? Yes. In deep romantic love with her? No. Nothing I've seen from their relationship, not the sex, not their "sweet" moments, or the vulnerable moments, nothing has ever made me ever believe they were in love love. I totally realize that that's my personal opinion and other people see it differently, I understand that, and I respect other people's personal opinions on the matter. This is not a knock against Shannon as a character, but just my individual feelings on their relationship. This was my opinion back when season 3 was still airing and I saw the show for the first time, and it's still my opinion now.

However, back in season 3/4 I actually still believed Eddie could be bi, for sure. And I would've been absolutely THRILLED with a bi4bi story from Buddie.

After all, just because Eddie wasn't in love with Shannon didn't mean he couldn't fall in love with another woman (or man), right? But then came Ana Flores....and then Vanessa...and then came Marisol....and the pattern kept going and I simply COULD NOT justify any of his behavior as actually really being attracted to/wanting/loving ANY of these women.

I understand that plenty of heterosexual and bisexual men also have this kind of avoidant-attachment relationship style, and that it could also stem from trauma, the way he grew up, patriarchy, etc, but the way he FORCES himself to be in a relationship with these women. The way he NEVER allows a genuine bond with a woman to just grow naturally and always has to force it to start, and then desperately cut it off when he's finally reached his limit, truly feels like he's torturing himself. And I'm so sorry, but I feel like if you were a person who genuinely wanted to be with a woman or a man, or anyone, in any capacity, you would not be torturing yourself over being with them.

Especially when I look at him in comparison to Buck, a canon bisexual man. I never once doubted that Buck actually loved Abby. I never once doubted that Buck was actually trying in his relationships with Ali, Taylor, and Natalia. When he was interested in these women it didn't feel forced. Unhealthy? Sure. Not the right fit for him? Absolutely. But forced? Like he was only doing it because he thought he had to? Never. Sure, maybe Buck held on longer than he should've because he didn't want to lose them, but that's because he still wanted their love even if it wasn't healthy for him.

I don't see any of that with Eddie. Shannon, and Eddie's relationship with her, has always felt like a crutch for Eddie, like an excuse, before she came back, when she was present, and long LONG after she died. So the argument that "well Ana and Marisol just aren't Shannon" will never work for me.

I also think Eddie being demisexual would be a better fit narratively at this point than bisexual as well. But then again, there's overlap and it's all very subjective and yeah--just a lot of queer theory to get into that I'm not an expert on, so I'm just gonna reiterate again. This is just my opinion.

If the show really wanted Eddie to be bisexual, and stated it as such, I would be fine with it, and I would accept it graciously and happily. But I do honestly feel like it wouldn't really fit well into the story they've been telling. At this point in time, with everything that we know, and everything we've seen, the only thing that I believe truly fits with the narrative is that Eddie's a repressed gay man and/or demisexual.

But if real-life bisexual people see themselves in Eddie, that will ALWAYS be valid, regardless of what the show says in regards to his sexuality. Fuck, they'll probably just leave him unlabeled regardless, in which case, any and all headcanons are valid.

This is a nuanced topic, and I do admit that IN REAL LIFE (remember I'm just discussing FICTIONAL characters here based purely on what a NARRATIVE has shown us which is all we can truly take as fact) someone in Eddie's position could for sure be bisexual and have this exact same experience.

I just think in my personal subjective opinion that with all we've seen in canon thus far, it would feel most organic to the story (and doesn't make Eddie look like a fucking asshole who chooses not to care at all about the women he's dating) if he realized he was a repressed gay man.

#911 abc #eddie diaz #god I hope this doesn't start discourse #anon you're valid for wanting a character who aligns with your experience so I'll never admonish you or anyone else for that #again this is my opinion based on my own subjective life experience #please no one come for me #this is why I tend to use the term queer in relation to eddie #or even queer leaning towards men #or hell maybe even bisexual leaning towards men idk #sexuality is a spectrum for a reason so even what I'm saying could be disproven by someone else's experience and knowledge

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ideas-4-stories · 1 month

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I dunno if you like age regression topics (the coping mechanism, not the magical fictional one but either work for this concept)

But like. Buggy regressing in some way, shape or form. It's set during Cross Guild, on Karai Bari, and his closest friends know vaguely of it, maybe, or they know Something happens every once in a while where Buggy will put them in charge with strict orders to not bother him.

Crocodile and Mihawk are not beholden to those orders.

So it happens while they're there, and they decide to go look into it and find Buggy, little and small and curled up tightly with his fingers dug so tightly into his hair that it's a wonder how he hasn't yanked full handfuls out yet ((He has, his Devil Fruit just reconnects them)). Crocodile is taken aback by the Off Vibes. Mihawk is staring, head tilted slightly because the clown's energy is locked down even tighter than usual but it's juvenile, it feels like a child, a little child absolutely choked with terror.

That is what settles the matter for him, and so he sets aside Yoru, walks over and kneels on the floor before Buggy, voice soft as he tries to get the other's attention. He asks before touching, his hands are gentle when he gets consent to reach out, he is clear and broadcasting all of his movements as he goes.

Buggy is still shaking, but the mumbling has slowed. His breathing is still uneven, but it has eased up slightly.

Crocodile doesn't quite know what to do and so goes to get a cup of water. He adds a straw on a whim.

Mihawk holds the cup steady as they gently get buggy to drink, his hands still shaking, tears still flowing.

This is the first time they see Buggy small and vulnerable. This is thus the first time they ask him to come to one of them when it happens. Neither will admit to being a bit soft on the clown, let alone being soft in general, but no child should have to be scared and alone.

Buggy then breaks their hearts when he shakes his head, rubs his eyes, and says "but 'm always 'lone when 'm sad...?"

Mihawk breathes in slowly, fighting a grimace. "You shouldn't need to be, Buggy. It's okay to ask for help when you... feel like this."

"But unc'a Rayray said 's bad."

"It isn't," Crocodile says simply. "You can ask for help. Hell, come to one of us when you feel all... off, like this or otherwise. We're here, yeah? Might as well be here for this too. No big deal."

Buggy sniffles a little, then he just hums. He lets Mihawk finger brush his hair, rocking slightly in place. Crocodile makes a big show of complaining and groaning as he sits down on the floor, earning a wane smile and a teary giggle. He smirks at the success.

They sit with Buggy until he eventually does off, and then Crocodile picks him up and Mihawk helps tuck him into the bed.

They decide to keep a closer eye on the other moving forward.

The beginning of it all is rocky at best. Buggy has had decades of time to internalize that his shifts are BAD and thus not okay or acceptable. He's also surprisingly stubborn when push comes to shove, so reworking a new routine is like pulling teeth from a bear.

They make it work though.

Buggy's regression isn't all sunshine and daisies, but it's also not always stressful and tearful. Mihawk never took himself for a man who was good with children, but he secretly dubs Buggy an exception. Buggy is usually ALL of his exceptions.

Crocodile meanwhile is very much sold on Not Liking Kids. They deserve to be cared for and protected, yeah, but prolonged contact with one is exhausting. He just isn't built for that. He doesn't like kids. He will tolerate Buggy, big or little, because of his own agenda, not because he likes the brat. No, really, stop smirking Mihawk, he is SERIOUS-

Buggy is just bamboozled by it all.

I’ve heard about Age Regression a few times as in the coping mechanism, I didn’t know there was a fantasy or magical fictionalized version of age regression… is it the thing of characters turning into kids? That’s all I can think is the things it could be, I don’t know how Buggy will regress. That’s up to the writer if anyone wants to write it.

I would think Cabaji knows a lot about it, because I headcanon that he knows Buggy the longest. Mohji, Richie, and most of the original crew would know about it. I don’t know about Alvida and Galdino; they might vaguely know about it, or they do know about it.

Of course, Crocodile and Mihawk are going to ignore what Buggy asked, so they go to find him. Only to find Buggy freaking out alone. Love that Mihawk feels Buggy’s energy like a child. That’s interesting while Crocodile just feels Off-Vibes. Crocodile and Mihawk go and help the clown during this, so he can calm down and talk to them about what’s happening.

Love that both, Mihawk and Crocodile tells Buggy to come to one of them when this happens again. I wonder if someone had to tell them what was happening or do they know about this condition.

Not Rayleigh telling Buggy that it’s bad to do, I wonder the reason behind that. From what I know about the coping mechanism, it’s not really something people can control. Wondering if it’s because the crew didn’t know what to do, so Rayleigh made sure to tell Buggy to stay away from people when in this state. It's set to keep him safe from people that might exploit Buggy in this state. I don’t know, love that Crocodile tells Buggy that it’s okay to come and ask for help.

It’s cute that Crocodile made a big show of complaining while Mihawk just brushes Buggy’s hair with his fingers. Mihawk and Crocodile agreeing to keep closer eye on Buggy, I like to think they just made eye-contact and nodded with each other, without saying anything.

Of course, it isn’t all sunshine and daisies, that’s not how kids are and reworking a new routine for Buggy is hard. The clown is very stubborn, I’m glad they made it work.

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laundrybiscuits · 1 year

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(purify our misfit ways tag | AO3)

So, Eddie goes back to Scoops. What else is he gonna do? He’s not sure if Robin's aware of it or not, but he’s not going to be saying no to her for a while; at least not until he stops feeling guilty about certain things that they’re not ever talking about again.

He looks at himself in the water-flecked bathroom mirror and says, out loud: “He’s just a guy. Just a typical…guy. You can be normal about this. Be fucking normal for once, Munson.” Then he grabs his keys and hurls himself out the front door before he can talk himself out of it.

It’s usually a twenty-minute drive, but he makes it in a tight sixteen. He thinks if he slows down enough to give himself any kind of excuse to weasel out of this, he will. Plus, the less time he spends thinking about it, the less likely he is to fuck this up for Robin somehow. Because—right, yeah, this whole thing is about Robin, and how Steve’s still the kind of asshole who won’t take no for an answer.

Actually, getting mad about that is helping Eddie get a grip on reality. It doesn’t matter how hot the guy is, if he doesn’t fucking listen when he’s told to back off. But it's not like Eddie can come roaring in like a jealous boyfriend, that’ll just make things a million times worse; he’d love to be able to follow Robin’s lead on this, but if he knows her at all, she doesn’t have any kind of plan aside from pointing at Eddie and going see? Not boyfriend material.

Which, yeah, obviously he’s not. He doubts Steve will see it that way, though—probably thinks Eddie’s a perfect freaks-and-geeks match for Robin, with her refusal to be any of the things that Hawkins High rewards. So, Eddie needs a plan, and he needs one fast, because he can't keep sitting in the parking lot like this, stewing in his own indecision.

Fuck it. He'll have to improvise, he's good at improvising. It'll be fine. It has to be fine.

He sidles into Scoops Ahoy, sees Steve and Robin bickering, and doesn't immediately tap out. That's progress.

"Robin," he says, nodding. "And…Harrington."

"Hi. Eddie." Steve looks really fucking uncomfortable, and why wouldn't he be?

The three of them stand there in a weird suspended tableau, until Robin throws her hands in the air. "Oh my god, just get over it already. Eddie got spooked last time when his high school nemesis appeared out of nowhere like a total psycho, and he was too embarrassed to come back until now. Okay? Everyone caught up yet?"

"He was not my nemesis! Christ, Robin!" Eddie sputters.

"Um, nemesis?" says Steve at the same time.

Eddie glances over at Steve, feeling a kind of kinship in the face of Hurricane Buckley.

"I wasn't…your nemesis, was I?" asks Steve. He sounds a little confused, and Eddie wonders uncharitably if he knows what the word nemesis means.

"No, Harrington, you were just generally a dick. My true nemesis is and always has been the collective insanity of Hawkins High itself. The esprit de corps, so to speak."

"God, I see why you and Robin get along so well," sighs Steve. Eddie suddenly remembers that he's here for a purpose, and he currently appears to be failing very badly at that purpose.

"Yeah, well…" he shrugs. "All I'm saying is, I'm willing to live and let live. It's a character flaw."

"So, what, we're just gonna forget high school and be friends now?"

"Whoa whoa whoa," says Eddie, alarmed. He's about to add nobody said anything about friends, but his Spidey-sense is going off. It doesn't actually take fictional-level superpowers to hear the way King Steve doesn't sound as disgusted by that prospect as he should be.

Robin had mentioned something about Steve being sort of a trainwreck, but Eddie had (unfairly, as it turns out) written that off as Robin blowing stuff out of proportion like she does sometimes. He does it too, that's why he knows not to take her at face value too much.

But it seems like maybe if anything, she was underplaying how fucked Steve's life must be right now, to have that poorly hidden thread of eagerness in his voice when he talks about being friends with Eddie "the Freak" Munson.

What the actual fuck.

All of this flashes through Eddie’s head in a jumbled rush, just quick enough to stop him from inadvertently completely crushing Steve’s spirit or whatever, so instead he just says, "I mean, forgetting high school's not so much an option for me. Buckley might not have mentioned, but you're looking at a genuine two-time total failure here, man."

Great. Real smooth move there, Munson. Never a bad idea to announce how much of a loser you are to cute boys as soon as possible. Once his obligation to Robin is discharged here, Eddie is going to move to Siberia and live in a hole in the ground. He bets it's nice and quiet there, with a minimum of indecently tight blue sailor suits that clearly have mind-altering powers.

But hey, on the bright side, he might be able to salvage his primary quest here after all. Maybe if he just leans into what a fuckup he is, Steve will stop seeing him as a viable match for Robin’s genius brain.

"You’re not—" Steve is starting to say, weakly, and good god does Eddie not want to hear how that sentence ends. He cuts Steve off by spinning around, arms outflung, only colliding a little bit with a nearby chair.

"Oh, but I am, Ser Harrington. Scourge of teachers, they call me. Object lesson to degenerate slackers everywhere. Blackboards quake and tender schoolgirl hearts break as I stalk the halls which have ensnared me lo these many years. Decades in the future, my agéd corpse will be found within the walls of Hawkins High while my spectral remains wail: run far away, lest the Munson Curse befall ye too."

Steve stares at Eddie for a second, then bursts out laughing. To Eddie’s consternation, it doesn't sound mocking or derisive at all. "Shit, you're funny, man. You remind me of—of a friend. You would like him. He's kind of a shit sometimes, but you'd like him."

"If you're telling me I remind you of Hagan, I'm gonna drown myself in the Raspberry Ripple," says Eddie, genuinely horrified.

"No! God, no. You're not anything like—no. I was thinking of my, uh, my friend Dustin."

"And…who is this friend of yours who is perchance my long-lost twin?" Eddie frowns, trying to scour his memory for any Dustins at Hawkins High.

"Not—" Steve's going suspiciously pink. He looks away in poorly feigned nonchalance. Eddie wants to dip him in chocolate and eat him with a spoon. "Friend isn’t, I guess…he's really just a kid I looked after for a while. Like as a favor, I mean. I was—it doesn’t matter. Anyway, he's a cool kid, that's all. Kinda hyper, like you."

That is…a lot to digest. Eddie doesn't really know where to start, but luckily Robin’s there to pick up his slack.

"Oh my god, are you comparing Eddie to one of the infants you let use the staff corridor last week? Is that what's happening?"

"No!" yelps Steve. "...he's not even in town right now."

"But he is in some way affiliated with those toddlers," drawls Robin, not really a question.

Eddie cocks his head. "I would like significantly more information about any alleged toddlers I may be accused of resembling, please."

"Christ, how are there two of you," groans Steve.

"Man, you keep comparing me to other people and I'm gonna start getting offended," says Eddie. "You've known me for about five minutes at this point. No," he adds, seeing Steve start to protest. "High school does not count. I will bet you a million bucks you don't remember me at all from high school."

Steve frowns. "Of course I remember you. You were kinda hard to miss."

"Fucking liar," says Eddie, rolling his eyes, but he grins so Steve knows it's not that big a deal.

"No, you were in the play, a couple years ago," says Steve. "You were…the magic guy, right? The, uh, elf king."

"Close enough," says Eddie, shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels, a little dazed. Because yeah, he'd been Oberon that year, he just—really hadn't thought Steve Harrington had paid any attention to the drama nerds at all, much less remembered the specific part Eddie had played. "Shit. Guess I owe you a million bucks."

Steve smiles, bright and boyish and also kind of annoyingly smug, and leans his elbows on the counter. "Guess so. I'm willing to figure out an installment plan, if you wanna start coming around more often. Bet Robin would appreciate it."

“Right,” says Eddie. “Look. I don’t know what you think’s going on, but Buckley’s like a sister to me.”

“And Eddie’s like a sister to me too,” Robin chimes in, smiling all sweet and venomous.

“Okay,” says Steve. “You can still come visit her, can’t you? Free ice cream samples, man, you can’t turn that shit down.”

This is a trap, clearly, but Eddie can’t find it in himself to do anything but give in.

“Yeah, okay then,” he sighs. “Keep me sugared up and I’ll keep on coming around like a bad penny. You two are gonna be so sick of me by the end of the summer, that’s the Munson Guarantee.”

#fic: purify our misfit ways #I wrote a lot of this on my phone which was an interesting experience #I think the smaller screen makes me less focused on the scene as a whole and more stream-of-consciousness #also just super bad at judging length. this is 1.6k. why.#I guess this is just the fic that has hella rough tumblr drafts

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thechaoticfanartist · 3 months

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“If I said no, would you really believe me?” Grim & Anakin?

Secrets & Lies Sentences, Vol. 3

a secret told

Grim and Anakin's relationship hadn't been the same ever since she let slip that she knew what he did on Tatooine. Of course it couldn't be possible, there was no way for her to know that, not a way that Anakin was aware of anyways.

He would occasionally confront her about her secrets and lies after that. He knew she was lying now, and he couldn't trust her the same way anymore. Not when he knew she was clearly lying, and she knew more than she should.

Everyone else seemed to act as if it was normal. Obi-Wan never questioned her when she said something strange about something she couldn't possibly know. Ahsoka, who used to be as confused as he was, had also stopped questioning Grim’s strange way of knowing things once the two had started dating. Did Grim tell her something?

Sometimes Anakin wondered if he was the only one who could see that Grim was clearly lying. Or, if maybe, he was the only one who didn't know something.

He had, of course, overtime gotten used to Grim’s strange behavior and knowledge. Anyone who had been around her long enough had. At some point, they had all just accepted it. Except, after what happened on Mortis and what she revealed to him in the aftermath, he hadn't been able to shake it.

He walked up to Grim one day. “Can we talk?” He asked.

She looked up at him, confusion clearly written on her face. “Sure? What do you want to talk about, Skywalker?”

“Everyone else seems to just accept that you know things that you shouldn't be able to know, but you shouldn't know the things that you do.”

“We've had this conversation before,” sighed Grim. “I just have visions-”

“I have visions, Grim. The way you describe your visions don't match, you know too many details for it to just be visions. Tell me the truth. Do you really just have detailed visions?”

She smiled sadly, “if I said no, would you really believe me?”

His brows furrowed and he frowned. “Yes, I would believe you. Why would you think I wouldn't?”

“Because how I really know things is unbelievable,” she replied. “I wouldn't blame you if you didn't believe me, Master Kenobi didn't when I first told him.”

“What are you talking about? Wait, Master Kenobi knows?”

She nodded. “If I tell you, can you promise me you won't tell anyone?”

“Why?”

“Because it's dangerous, how I know things, and the amount that I know,” she admitted.

This only confused him more. “How would it be dangerous?”

“Anakin, can you promise you won't tell anyone?”

He hesitated for a moment. “Yes, I promise I won't tell anyone.”

“Okay,” she replied. She took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. For a moment it looked like she entered a miniature meditation state. She opened her eyes again. “I'm from another universe. In my universe, this is all fictional. I've seen everything happen before, both for the past and the future. I've been trying to change things, and make this have a happy ending.”

Anakin stared at her. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to react. “Another universe?” He echoed. The very concept of that in of itself-

She shifted, and her eyes no longer met his. “Yes,” she confirmed.

“And this is just fictional?” He asked, trying to make sense of what she just revealed.

“In my universe,” she said. “But it isn't here, I know that.”

“No, because this is our real lives,” said Anakin. “And we're real people, not just some characters in a holofilm.”

“I know that, Anakin. You stopped being characters-”

“We were never characters. This has never been fiction.”

“In this universe that's true, but in my universe-”

“Your universe doesn't matter here,” he told her, anger was beginning to seep into his voice. “What's been ‘fiction’ to you, has been real to me and everyone else who has lived. This war that's been entertainment for you, has been real for us-”

“I know that!” She snapped. “I know that,” she said quieter. “Anakin, I swear I know that. You aren't a character, this isn't fiction, I swear to you I know that.”

He swallowed. He couldn't look at her the same way. How could he? She had seen his entire life, she knew everything about him, he was only a character to her. Everything he had gone through had been entertainment for her.

He didn't know how to feel. He was angry, but he didn't know why. He focused on what else she had said. “You're trying to change things?”

It seemed she became only more nervous about this. “Yes,” she said, but didn't elaborate further.

“Why?” He asked. Obviously if she was trying to change things then something bad happens in the future, but what? What happened? Why does she feel the need to change this?

“This war doesn't have a happy ending.”

“We lose?”

“The Jedi lose.”

“What does that mean?”

She shifted nervously again. She refused to meet his gaze, and absently fiddled with her Padawan braid. “It's complicated.”

“Complicated how? If the Jedi lose, that means the Separatists win, right?”

“No, it doesn't,” she said. “It means the Sith win.”

“But, the Separatists are run by the Sith, there aren't any Sith in the Republic.”

She laughed. “I wish that was true,” she said. “No, Sidious controls both sides. I thought you knew this.”

He remembered hearing something about Sidious. “He's the Sith the Council has been looking for.”

“Yes.”

“Do you know who he is?”

She doesn't say anything, but he can tell that she knows.

“Grim…”

“I'm sorry, Anakin. If I told you that, then I know you wouldn't believe me.”

“Why wouldn't I-?” He started to ask, but Grim had run off before he could.

He was left standing there alone, unsure how to process what she had admitted to him, and what she had refused to.

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added or removed) : @padme--amygdala @soclonely @mrfandomwars @jgvfhl @starlonkedd @shinhatigf @togrutanduin @jedi-valjean @one-real-imonkey @traygaming @aiylasdrawings @keoxus @veiled-in-stars @sentineljedi @spicysucculentz @amelia-song-pond @it-was-rose @saturnsokas @thejediprincessqueenofnaboo @veradragonjedi @arrthurpendragon @shrinkthisviolet @thebrainofoctavian

#grim kennet #star wars #my oc #star wars oc #jedi oc #star wars the clone wars #anakin skywalker #grim and anakin #my writing #writing in anakin's pov was kind of fun #also grim telling anakin aus 👀#it's always so fun to explore the concept of what if she actually told him

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duhragonball · 24 days

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Neon Genesis Evangelion 04

"We have to use fourteen-year-olds to pilot the Evas. And we have to make rainbow scans of their skinny little butts! The future of mankind depends on it!"

This episode, Shinji runs away from home. Or maybe he's going back to wherever he lived before he came to Tokyo-3, so he's running away to home? He's running away is the point here.

Misato isn't very surprised to discover this, but she's still frustrated. Then Shinji's classmates, Suzuhara and the other guy... I was gonna look him up but I looked up Suzuhara and just got spoiled so fuck that. We're calling him Big Rigg Mahoney now. Yeah, Suzuhara's taller, but I don't care. We're going with it.

Anyway, Suzuhara and Big Rigg Mahoney show up at Misato's apartment because they haven't seen Shinji at school for days. Suzuhara wants to apologize for punching Shinji in Episode 3. He only did it because he blamed Shinji for fighting the Angel so close to the city, which got his sister hospitalized, but his sister chewed him out for this, and he and Big Rigg Mahoney got a first-hand look at what it's like for Shinji when he's piloting that Eva. That's his motivation, Big Rigg Mahoney's mostly involved because he likes war movies and likes playing soldier, and he's fascinated by the Evas, NERV Agency, etc.

They did not expect a grown woman to be living in Shinji's apartment, so they hand her his assignments from school and leave, but now they think Shinji is even cooler, because he's a badass pilot and he's living with a hot babe.

Let me get this out of the way: I did find this episode much more enjoyable than the last one. I had a good feeling about it, since the next-episode preview promised that Shinji would run away, which was encouraging because at least Shinji would have to make a conscious decision and act upon it, like some sort of fictional character might do. But then it occurred to me that maybe Suzuhara and Big Rigg Mahoney might have kidnapped Shinji and told him to run away, in a misguided attempt to help him. And Shinji would be like "hai!" and go AWOL simply because someone told him to. That would suck, so when these two show up early in the episode and they have no idea where he went either, it was very reassuring.

Not that it's too much of a change for Shinji. He's off on his own, but he's still mopey and dead inside. He rides the subway all the way to the end of the line, listening to his playlist of "Track 25" and "Track 26" over and over again the whole way. Then he realizes he has to "go back". I'm not sure what that means, but I assume he's talking about going back to Tokyo-3, since he doesn't seem to have a destination in mind. And yet, he's in no hurry, stopping off at a movie theater that's running some sort of film festival of Second Impact documentaries.

He watches a couple making out in the theater. I don't know if he's envious or fascinated or disgusted, or he just doesn't know what else to do.

Meanwhile, Misato discusses Shinji's disappearance with Ritsuko. We flash back to the aftermath of the battle in Episode 3. Misato had ordered Shinji to retreat before his Eva ran out of power, but Shinji went gonzo and killed the Angel instead. She scolded him for ignoring her orders, but he acted cavalier about it, reminding her that they won, so it doesn't really matter. She warned him that his attitude will only get him killed, and he replied that his attitude doesn't matter, because he's the only one who can pilot the Eva. It's either Shinji or Rei (who's still injured), or nobody, so they might as well let Shinji fuck around and find out. If he gets himself killed they're no worse off than if he doesn't pilot the Eva at all.

In hindsight, Misato is kind of relieved he's gone, because at least this way he won't bring this fatalistic mentality onto the battlefield. The disconnect here is that she's some sort of career soldier, with loyalties and duties and causes to respect. Shinji got drafted last month, and he doesn't want to do this and he's only participating because he's the indispensible man. But Shinji hates himself, so if he gets killed through incompetence, it's no better or worse than winning every battle, or abandoning his post. It's all the same to him, he's got nothing to gain or lose here.

Meanwhile, Shinji happens upon Big Rigg Mahoney, who's playing soldier out in the middle of nowhere. He's got a uniform and a tent and everything. When he spots Shinji he invites him over for whatever he's cooking, and they hang out. See, this is nice. Shinji took matters into his own hands, and now he's hanging out with his friend, Big Rigg Mahoney.

Finally, a bunch of goons from NERV show up and take Shinji into custody. The next day, Suzuhara is upset to hear the Big Rigg Mahoney let them take Shinji without a fight, but come on, man. Big Rigg Mahoney didn't get this far in life without learning to know when to fight and when to take it easy.

Back at the base, Shinji expects Misato to scold him, but she doesn't. She just asks him if he enjoyed his time away, and he says he doesn't know. Classic Shinji. They continue their argument from before. He doesn't want to pilot the Eva because he sucks at it and it's scary and painful, but he doesn't think it's right to leave it all up to Rei and the others. Misato tells him that has nothing to do with it. If he's only forcing himself to go along with this, then he'll never be in the right mindset to do any good as an Eva pilot. Better if he just calls it quits now and forgets he ever got involved.

Meanwhile, Shinji's dad could not give a shit less whether Shinji leaves or not. He's already figuring out what to do when he's gone. If Shinji won't pilot Eva Unit 01, then they'll just reconfigure it for Rei. Apparently that's a thing they can do now. I thought each pilot had their own specific Eva Unit they were bonded to, but I guess not. According to this conversation, Rei was injured while piloting Unit 00, but it wasn't in combat. They were just running experiments on Unit 00 to get it working, and there must have been an accident.

So some of this is becoming clearer. We still don't know why only certain teenagers can pilot the Evas, but we do know that there are others besides Rei and Shinji. They just haven't located very many candidates, so it's not like Shinji is completely irreplaceable. And Rei is recovering, so there's that. And Shinji can resign whenever he wants. He only got arrested last night because he left without resigning. Today, he's decided to go through with it, and NERV doesn't seem sorry to see him go. Shinji asks if he can say farewell to Misato, but they're like "You quit, so you're not authorized to see her." At this point all NERV cares about is escorting him off their base.

Suzuhara and Big Rigg Mahoney do show up to see him off, though. Suzuhara finally apologizes to Shinji for punching him, and insists that Shinji punch him back to restore his honor. Shinji reluctantly agrees, and at first he kind of holds back, but then Suzuhara tells him to hit like he means it, and he does. See, this is nice.

Shinji apologizes for leaving Tokyo-3 in a lurch, but the boys are used to classmates moving out, and they know how hard it is for Shinji to pilot the Eva, so they don't blame him for quitting. Suzuhara promises to beat up anyone who doesn't respect Shinji's decision to leave.

Finally the NERV goons decide it's time for him to go to the train station, but he pulls away just long enough to tell Suzuhara and Big Rigg Mahoney that he has been cowardly and weak after all. It's like he's having second thoughts about the whole thing.

Back at the base, Misato mulls the whole thing over, and it finally hits her that this is how Shinji expresses his feelings. He runs away and waits for someone to care that he's gone. Realizing this, she rushes to the train station to see him, but she sees the train pull out just as she arrives. For a second she thinks she was too late, but then when the train is gone...

They see each other on either side of the tracks. Shinji couldn't go through with leaving, I suppose because Suzuhara and Big Rigg Mahoney were enough to make him question his decision. But now he looks up and sees Misato cared about him too, and that puts him over the hump.

Then Shinji declares that he's home, and Misato replies "Welcome home." And that's a beautiful moment. Everything kind of came together. Now I'm starting to see what the fuss is about here.

I stand by my criticism of Episode 3, though. I don't think they needed four episodes of this show to get to this moment. Two episodes, maybe. They could have ditched all those scenes of Shinji staring at Misato's beer cans in Episode 2, and trimmed a lot of fat from Episode 3. Suzuhara could have found out about Shinji being an Eva pilot some other way before the episode started, instead of that long scene in the classroom.

Still, we're here. Shinji has decided that he actually cares about Tokyo-3 and its people, and he wants to pilot the Eva to protect his home, not just because someone else told him to do it. We'll see how well that goes, but it's a big step forward.

Also, the next episode preview shows Rei looking healthy and doing things, so that seems like a big improvement too. Everything's coming up Milhouse!

#neon genesis evangelion #shinji ikara #toji suzuhara #misato katsuragi #gendo ikara #ritsuko akagi #rei ayanami #big rigg mahoney #don't tell me what his real name is it's too late for that #his name's big rigg mahoney now and forever

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moonyinpisces · 6 months

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LWA: So, GOOD OMENS is a comedy!

I'm tempted to say that that's the sum total of the ask, but...folks, it's a comedy. It's a comedy with occasional moments of drama to manage the viewer's affect, raise the narrative stakes, and accentuate the humor, just as tragedy normally has occasional moments of comedy to relax the audience and accentuate the horror (the Porter from MACBETH staggers in, waves, staggers back out again). Not only does it behave like a comedy, all of its characters act and, within the narrative, are interpreted according to comic conventions. One of the reasons I've bounced so hard off GO fanfic is that so many writers transfer the characters to dramatic (or even tragic) narratives without changing anything about how they interact with their fictional world, and as a result Aziraphale & Crowley mutate into the gods from AMERICAN GODS, who, even when "nice," are still all selfish SOBs.[1]. (That's what happens whenever you try to play a comic character "straight" without radically revising it: most comic characters would turn into villains if you put them into non-comic plots.) The reason I can talk about the child murder subplot from s1 as just a matter of Crowley having to learn that, no, sweetie, just because you've hired a hitman doesn't let you off the hook for the death (also, you know your friend trusts you, maybe quit taking advantage of that, hmmm?), and not as an urgent call to Aziraphale to DTMFA, is because that subplot still operates according to the rules of gallows humor.

The many legit complaints about S2's structure and pacing aside--this was a miniseries that could have been a movie--the reason that Gaiman could undo S1 so easily was because /as a comedy/, S1 works just fine. Most of the conflicts--Crowley attempting to get Aziraphale to kill a kid for him and what that reveals about his unwillingness to take responsibility for, well, anything; Aziraphale vacillating in his loyalties to Crowley and Heaven and what that reveals about his struggle to develop an independent moral framework--are worked out through minimal dialogue, symbolic action, and a fair amount of mood whiplash. Madame Tracy stops them from killing a kid? OK, that's sorted. Yo, Crowley, if you don't do something, something you think is legitimately bad will happen! OK, Crowley has suddenly discovered that taking responsibility exists. Yes, we tried murdering you a couple of minutes ago, but let's give you a pep talk! OK, fixed that subplot. Oh, I am going to give Crowley a meaningful look after my pep talk about the superiority of being "human incarnate"! OK, clearly Aziraphale has got that part of his problem mostly sorted. Hey, we're having a gentle conversation on the park bench! OK, Aziraphale doesn't actually accept Crowley's invitation (to the place or the side) in words, but there's symbolic lighting! And he sits next to him on the bus! And he clearly went to the apartment! So /that's/ fixed too. Right? Now we're risking our lives to save each other! OK, we've finally gotten past the damsel-in-distress game, and score another point for Crowley taking responsibility for his actions and Aziraphale choosing Crowley over Heaven. Then, in good comic fashion, everyone pairs up at the end, and Aziraphale and Crowley dine at the Ritz to romantic music.[2] Comic reconciliation, everyone! All of this is completely appropriate for the medium; trying to put the original dialogue for Aziraphale's and Crowley's moral epiphanies at the airfield on the screen, for example, would be both awkward and too much of a tension killer for the moment. But it does mean that all Gaiman and Finnemore had to do in S2 was to say that everything "resolved" through action and, at best, minimal dialogue had not been resolved at all, because virtually nothing was ever /named/.

I have no predictions for S3, because who knows, but...these are comic characters. Most of the angstier demands for the conditions under which Crowley will accept Aziraphale back or, quite frankly, vice-versa, don't seem to fit their established characterization or the comic narrative structure in which they exist.[3] It's highly unlikely that said established characterization will change very much, because, again, they are comic characters, and comic characters by virtue of their function tend to be both resilient (a character from a serious TV drama could never plausibly survive a sitcom unscathed) and limited in their ability to develop. Will Crowley learn about moral responsibility? Sure. Will he ever learn that actions have consequences? Almost certainly not, because that's one of the key drivers of the series' humor. Will Aziraphale fully shake off his allegiance to Heaven? Sure. Will he ever stop getting into trouble because he is INT 20, WIS 0? Amost certainly not, because ditto. Has anyone looked back at PRIDE & PREJUDICE recently? Within 3 very short chapters, Lizzie Bennet's fury at Darcy after the botched proposal is almost entirely DOA, thanks to her honest reading of the eye-opening letter he writes her; a couple of chapters later, she still has no regrets about turning him down (because his behavior truly wasn't "gentleman-like"), but she has otherwise admitted his sterling character and come to grips with the fact that his criticism of her family was, alas, on the nose. That's much more aligned with GO's narrative economy and characterization than C&A being enraged at each other for six episodes straight.

[1] I should note that I'm excluding cases where the author is, in fact, experimenting with different story-telling modes to see what happens. Ironically, Dark!AUs for both protagonists are arguably by far the most honest accounts of what happens when you strip the comedy out.

[2] I read the novel for professional rather than recreational reasons, and didn't see anything posted on Tumblr or AO3 until months after the TV series came out, so I'm afraid that my reaction to the end of the novel was not "ah, a cosmic romance, unlike the ill-sorted and screwed-up human couples," but "however you read this, Aziraphale and Crowley are just as ill-sorted and screwed-up as the human couples; it's just that that's what love /looks like/ in this universe."

[3] I guess I have to explain that I don't relate to or identify with the characters, and when it comes to analysis it doesn't matter if I like or dislike them. The TV characters are not people, but the collaborative product of the script, the actors, the production crew, and indeed the audience's interpretations, and they are inseparable from their narrative function. (E.g., the child murder subplot in S1 interests me because, besides telling us something about both the protagonists' failings, it is also part of the series' bigger arguments about free will and moral deliberation.)

#can someone please help me out here #i didn’t want to delete because clearly a lot of work was put into this #but my god what is going on

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ninja-muse · 7 months

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Another month, another last-minute book review, but don't let that fool you. Infinity Gate is a winner! It's also pure Carey—compelling characters, smart world-building, themes that drive at the heart of human experience, writing and story that just don't stop.

First of all, if you've seen the blurb for this book, you probably think it's about the potential benefits of parallel worlds to one devastated by climate change, or possibly that it's about people fighting sinister AI. This is, in fact, what hooked me. It's also fairly inaccurate.

This is a story about how we define "human", that gets more into the discussions we're having about fascism and dehumanization and xenophobia, than the discussions we're having about AI, algorithms, and where "tool" becomes "crutch" or "means for layoffs". Does a person have to look like you to be seen as an equal? Do they have to act like you? Think like you? If they don't, is it okay to oppress, enslave, or murder them? If you say no but your society or government says yes, what then?

(Unsurprisingly, this is also a novel about control—who has it, who doesn't, who wants it, and why.)

But! The parallel worlds and the fights about AI are no less interesting, exciting, inventive, or important. It's clear that Carey's thought through the usual parallel-world-story premise of "if every turning point sparks a new world, then anything could happen" with more creativity and more clarity than most other authors. Yes, there's a world of civilized rabbits, but it's not a happy, cute world because no matter the species, people still have wants and fears and assumptions. Yes, an interdimensional empire would be pretty great in a lot of ways, but it's also run by, you guessed it, people.

I'm making this sound like a thinking book, not one where things happen. So let me clarify: THINGS HAPPEN. So many things. A lot of happening. There's a physicist who cracks interdimensional travel, which doesn't go as she planned. There's a guy on the fringes of society who's faced with hard choices. There's a schoolgirl, and a government bureaucrat, and a military unit, and meaningful friendships, and a prison planet. There's a conspiracy that maybe isn't, and a conspiracy that definitely is, and a questionable war, and all sorts of AIs. It's frankly surprising how much Carey manages to fit in 500 pages, and how he gets it all flowing and making sense and never once losing track of his story and message.

Which is also not to say I thought this book was perfect. It's sometimes a bit too messagey. The characters, while rounded and believable, sometimes fit the themes a little too neatly. There were bits I read faster less because I wanted to know what happened and more because I didn't quite care about what was happening just then. I am, however, perfectly willing to believe a lot of that's because I can't divorce "reading-me" from "literary critic/editor-me" and that other readers will not have these problems, or these levels of them.

The important thing is, though, that this book was fun. Fun and smart and full of SF coolness and unpredictable and well-written—and pointed, angry, punchy, thought-provoking. Everything good science fiction should be, in other words, and I don't know if anyone could've done it better. The sequel went on my TBR as soon as I saw it announced.

#books #booklr #bookblr #adult booklr #science fiction #new releases #book reviews #infinity gate #m.r. carey #book recommendations #my photos #read in 2023

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airteacher · 1 year

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in regards to Aang being a bad parent,

//There's so much we don't know, and so much that we can only speculate on. So we should really focus on what we do know and form opinions on that.

We do know Aang is an incredibly loving person. He also loved to talk about his culture when the chance came. The fan clubs, for example. I can't imagine Aang not doing the same with his children. We have a very limited perspective on the matter.

Maybe Kya and Bumi as kids found the constant lessons in Air Nomad stuff annoying like they did in the show as adults. Aang may have taken that to heart. Who wants to be disliked by their own kids? So he respected that and stopped. The soil is innocently and unknowingly laid to sow a seed.

Then it all falls on Tenzin to learn this stuff. Annoyed by it or not. Tenzin doesn't get an option. And Tenzin takes this very seriously because Tenzin is a very serious guy. We know this as that is how Katara describes him in the first episode. He feels the weight of the world is on his shoulders. We know this from the event in the Fog of Lost Souls. Aang knows this feeling. He would probably want to show Tenzin that he can still have fun in the process of all this. Maybe Aang doesn't invite Kya and Bumi because they're doing their own things, and, based on the past, Aang assumes they're not interested. Those missed opportunities and all the special attention Tenzin gets and their already close bond becoming closer -- a weed grows in Bumi and Kya.

Silent resentment forms. Everyone dives deeper into their different life paths. And the weed gets to exist on the side and get comfortable in the soil and sun. The resentment probably didn't get properly addressed until in that very episode.

I don't think blame should be placed on anyone. Of course Aang wasn't perfect. There were things that Aang could have done better as a parent. That doesn't make him a horrible dad. I'm sure if he knew how Kya and Bumi truly felt, I believe it in the depth of my heart he would have done things differently. Children are still developing and Aang is gone a lot. They may not have been able to communicate this stuff with Aang even if they wanted to.

Wedges in families like this one happen despite our best efforts. It develops slowly, silently, over a long period of time and is easily overlooked. Until it bursts. But I don't think there's anyone to blame.

We can be mad at Aang or Bryke. We can vent our frustrations, but let's do it in a kind and compassionate way. Not with hate. Because when we do things with hate, we're feeding that weed. I hope that we can also think with our wise mind, not be quick to judge with so little information, and be patient with ourselves and others and even the fictional characters we hold dearly.

#atla #legend of korra #Aang #Bumi #Kya #Tenzin #ooc #idk that anyone has been hateful about it but i just wanted to plug that in there

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princeescaluswords · 7 months

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It's an aggravating thing that bad friend Scott only works without context. Every example in auntie Scott can give falls apart wants to contacts of the situation gets involved. And anytime a defense squad member points that out they claim we're making up excuses.

A member of the Sterek fandom recently argued with me, saying that "You can't be racist toward a fictional character." This is ludicrous, of course: literature, cinema, and television are full of characters to whom the audience reacted with animosity because they were the "wrong" race. Take the rage of the certain people in the last few years about Ariel the mermaid being played by someone who wasn't white, or Arondir in the Rings of Power, or Mary Jane Watson in the MCU version of Spider-Man. These are absolutely fictional characters.

They don't think they're being racist. Or, more precisely, they can't admit to themselves that race is playing a role in how they react to a fictional story. When it comes to the Teen Wolf fandom, this is at the heart of the people who hate Scott. It always ends up, when those people are brave enough to give actual reasons, that they hate him for things for which they not only forgive Derek, Peter, Stiles and Theo but for things they have also celebrated on occasion. What makes them hate Scott makes Any White Male Character interesting.

For example, take one of their favorite 'reasons' to hate Scott -- the final scene of Magic Bullet (1x04). They think Scott is a terrible person for even suggesting that Derek's family, including children, deserved to burn, though that's not actually what he said.

Scott: So - What makes you so sure that they set the fire? Derek: 'Cause they're the only ones that knew about us. Scott: Well, then - They had a reason.

Now, a point they have to forget is that neither the audience nor Scott at that time knew there were children in there. That won't be revealed until Chris says it in Code Breaker (1x12), eight episodes later. They don't care that Scott has just spent an episode breaking into the Argent home for a bullet that saved Derek's life or at least arm. They don't care that Scott is looking at a werewolf put into a coma by a family he just stole from! But even as they successfully twist his panic into Scott celebrating the death of innocent children, they are busy purposefully forgetting the context of other scenes.

Like Stiles accusing Derek of murdering Laura out of jealousy in Second Chance at First Line (1x02) two episodes earlier. Stiles didn't know the murder victim is Laura, of course, either.

Stiles: Okay, just so you know, I'm not afraid of you. Okay, maybe I am. Doesn't matter. I just wanna know something. The girl you killed - she was a werewolf. She was a different kind, wasn't she? I mean, she could turn herself into an actual wolf, and I know Scott can't do that. Is that why you killed her?

This, to the fandom, is banter. And that's not counting Stiles's jibes at Derek through that entire episode while Derek is dying. But Stiles doesn't care that Derek is in trouble, does he?

Stiles: All right. What happens if Scott doesn't find your little magic bullet? Hmm? Are you dying? Derek: Not yet. I have a last resort. Stiles: What do you mean? What last resort? Oh, my God. What is that? Oh, is that contagious? You know what, you should probably just get out.

To them, this is not a shocking degree of callousness from Stiles in the face of blood and death, similarly to how Scott's insensitive words are an attempt to make sense of the world he finds himself; this is more banter.

And that's the point. When it comes to a 16-year-old newly bitten werewolf who has been told that very same episode that if he doesn't kill with the alpha, the alpha will kill him, saying that maybe his girlfriend's family needs a reason to kill him is an unforgivable degree of heartlessness. But when the 16-year-old who is only in danger because of his loyalty, who could go to his father for protection at any time, tells Derek to his face that Stiles doesn't care if he lives or dies, that's incipient romance.

What's the difference? If you strip context from it, we have two 16 year old boys who said insensitive things. The fandom treats the Latino one as if he's worthy of hate and treats the white one as if he's met his soulmate. With the context or without the context, there's only one way to interpret fandom's behavior.

BUT IT'S NOT RACISM.

#scott mccall #scott mccall defense squad #stiles stilinski #derek hale #magic bullet #fandom racism #teen wolf fandom problems

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cboffshore · 4 months

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Right Here, Right Now: Main Character Decision Making In On Sea, Sunlight, and Sky

Or: a casual essay examining planning, privilege, and immediacy in On Sea, Sunlight, and Sky, because I had some Really Fun Thoughts about my work today and decided to write about them. This might be a little messy, but I think it's still worth a post.

Obviously, spoilers for the latest installment (which drives a lot of this essay by virtue of being the longest installment yet), and the series as a whole, so it's under the cut.

There's a core tenet in my work on OSSAS over the years: everything Nya and Nadakhan do is, ultimately, pointless. After all, these fics are meant as gap fillers to complete Nya's experience after "The Last Resort," and we all know how Skybound ends by now. (I hope. If you don't... maybe don't read this?) So what I've tried to remember this whole time is that I don't have to worry about long-term canon consequences, because no matter what I write, the imaginary timeline gets wiped clean no matter what. (Yes, I'm the kind of person who worries about canon compliance that heavily.) They're acting for now, not the next season.

The thing is: my characters don't know that. In their fictional world, all of this is very, very real. Actions do have consequences, and besides being pointless, a lot of the shit I have Nya and Nadakhan do is just plain goofy from a distance. Gull swarm! Bullshit chase scene! Chess night that goes horribly wrong, set up specifically to mess with Nya! Everyone is fueled by spite and desperation the entire time.

That being said: that's all on purpose. Without consciously realizing it (although I know I recognized it on some level while writing), I spent OSSAS examining how Nya and Nadakhan both perceive and use immediacy - especially when reacting on the spot.

Let's take a step back and look at canon. Nadakhan's entire MO is, basically, to annoy his victims so much that they opt to just give up entirely by accepting his offer to wish it all away. Key components of this include:

Rushing his opponents and refusing to give them the time they need to come up with their own plan

Keeping them in one spot

Confronting them while they're alone

Most of the time, this works. I don't think I need to rehash that - you can pull up any confrontation in the season and watch these at play. The first hiccup we see is when Jay flips the script on him (accidentally), by getting so afraid that he makes a wish that summons Nya to the scene, which ruins that third component and forces Nadakhan to abandon the attempt. While these fics aren't about Jay, I wanted to mention this scene as a summary of how we know Nadakhan operates well before OSSAS slots into the timeline.

What do we learn from this?

On one hand, Nadakhan has a system in place - this guy likes his plans watertight. He's got rules that he plays by, generally without fail.

However: Nadakhan doesn't adapt well to change. We also see how he reacts when he finds out Delara's dead, his crew has been scattered, and his realm destroyed, so we knew about this already, but his confrontation with Jay helps highlight it. We also know that he sticks to his plans at all costs. Flintlocke attempting to convince him that he's got enough doesn't work, because at that point Nadakhan's so set on his very particular plan that he doesn't know how to accept that he's already won. (The commitment issues discussed in chapter 5 of the 2023 installment are different from what I'm talking about here, just so we're clear.)

Fatal flaw, that. And what a fun one - and very fun to use in my writing.

At this point in the timeline, whether he's willing to accept it or not, Nadakhan is fully in charge. He's got control over the skies; he's got mad resources; he's got Nya, who is central to his final plot and (despite all the chaos I keep letting her cause) is unable to leave. In OSSAS, he's got plenty of space and time; this allows him to read Nya and attempt to come up with solid consequences whenever she tries to rebel. For instance, in A Disappearing Act (Done Poorly), Nya uses her elemental powers to stage an immediate escape. This does not work; she's caught and brought back, and in Coughing Up Feathers, is forced to wear a Vengestone bracelet to prevent similar attempts. Ordinarily - under the rules Nadakhan's been playing by the whole season - this would be effective, right? Nadakhan used Vengestone on Jay to suppress his powers, after all. Why wouldn't this work?

Because the rule surrounding Vengestone has changed.

As of "Wishmasters," Vengestone amplifies power - but that's a relatively new thing at this point. Nadakhan hasn't interacted with Vengestone since the rescue mission (and according to my fic timeline had the bracelet made a while ago), so in CUF, I thought it would be appropriate to have him forget about granting that wish in order to let Nya weaponize it. Naturally, she does, and he doesn't figure it out until the following night (the prologue of If I Can Think (Of Something Clever)); embarrassed, he removes the bracelet from the equation and tries to figure something else out. His next attempts - destroying her comms bracelet and orchestrating a cruel false escape for Nya - are a lot more cut-and-dried, but still ultimately force Nya to look for alternative ways to resist that he's not expecting. Even when he thinks he's orchestrated it fully, he misses that. In the fake escape attempt reveal, he admits that he didn't expect her to use a chain as a weapon in addition to the torch he laid out. He also didn't expect Nya to react so violently to the image of Landon - he chose a friendlier face to approach her with, hoping she'd maybe cooperate when the end drew near, but didn't expect her to simply lump him in with the rest of the crew and fight him off the same way in the combat sequence. (Talk about a superiority complex...) When Nya points these things out to him, he panics and tries to change the subject.

Nadakhan's issue here is that he believes his plans are so solid that nothing can break them, so when hiccups like the Vengestone thing pop up, he's not entirely sure how to deal with them beyond simply shoving that to the side and moving onto his next scheme. This shows up in the IICT chess confrontation, too - when Nya doesn't react quite how he hopes she will to the bombs he drops, he either tries to redirect to the chess game or another topic to avoid feeling that shame of failure. This is because, like when he came up with his initial plan, Nadakhan plans for the long-term and doesn't worry about immediate effects. He knows his plan from top to bottom way before the crew catches on, and is unwilling to budge from it. He's had so much time and privilege to weave this tapestry that he can't imagine anyone going at it with scissors, so he doesn't arrange for any sort of Plan B.

Nya, however, is very much waving those scissors recklessly - at least, when she can reach them.

Unlike Nadakhan, Nya doesn't really have that same sort of space and time. She knows approximately what's going to happen, but not quite when. As fic author, I've given her about a week between her capture and the wedding - but she doesn't know that! For all she knows, at any moment, someone could barge in and drag her out to get hitched. She doesn't have the privilege to take her sweet time planning, so all of her moves are immediate reactions to her situation. Her escape attempt in ADA(DP) is a spur-of-the-moment plan triggered by her remembering a key detail about Nadakhan's quarters and making a wild guess about how she can weaponize it; the gull thing in CUF is an accidental discovery that she only gets to test twice before using it on Nadakhan. The longest she takes to formulate a plan is a day in IICT, which is the shortest amount of time she needs to gather the information to break out. After that, the combat scene is entirely improvised, and so are her personal attacks towards Nadakhan during the final chess scene. Everything she does is inspired by something either said, remembered, or realized in the moment. (Respectively: she weaponizes the line about Nadakhan's father teaching him chess, the dream, and the realization that Nadakhan fridges major problems instead of pivoting to deal with them immediately.)

As such, the effects of Nya's actions aren't long-term, at least not by design. She can't effectively plan for a future she knows so little about, and she's frustrated, so she takes it out on the now: little digs at Nadakhan that she knows he can't adjust to quickly or calmly, and actions that do serious damage to his attempts to control her.

Ironically, Nya's making snap judgements the entire time - the exact thing Nadakhan usually banks on when dealing with opposition. However, Nadakhan relies on those snap decisions being made to avoid him - not attack him.

Nya's cornered this whole time. Nadakhan's not trying to get rid of her like he is everyone else, so he tries to contain her. This upsets a key part of his usual strategy, which Nya recognizes early on (even if she doesn't really give thought to it - it's an unconscious undercurrent). By keeping her within easy reach, he's ironically given her a taste of the same privileges he has: he forces interactions that unwittingly help her learn about him and provides plenty of chances to push his buttons. Usually, he only interacts with people once or twice - enough to knock them off the map and shrug them off. However, he's pulled Nya into a position where he has to be around her to keep an eye on her... which goes two ways, of course. He's trying to read her; she's trying to read him.

Ultimately, Nya comes out on top - not because I think snap judgements are the way to go for most issues (I, too, like my plans solid and often dislike adjusting to new things), but because this is a season where how people react in the moment matters. We all know the season is resolved peacefully thanks to a quick, emotional judgement Jay makes; although this is very much not a Jay series, I like to think that Nya helps pave the way for this success by breaking down Nadakhan's self-confidence to the point where he really starts to lose his ability to insure his own work. (Let's talk about how he doubts Delara even loves him after she's resurrected sometime - I'm also trying to build into that.)

I don't really have a good ending for this - after all, I wrote this on an impulse - but isn't it neat how these things work out sometimes?

#ninjago skybound #ninjago nya #ninjago nadakhan #ninjago fanfiction #lila speaks #OSSAS tag #analysis freak lila back on her bullshit #december wip rambles

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