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uncanny8ellen · 2 years

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How I fell for the bastard,

Karl Heisenberg

I remember the exact moment I fell in love with our all time favorite, showy, ill-tempered metal engineer. I was watching YouTube videos, cuz that's what I do for pastime activity when I got no brain power for books. I watch game plays mostly. I was watching Markiplier video, and yes, him gushing over the infamous 'Lady dimidom' was cute. Mark u simp lol.

Anyway when he first showed up I wasn't that interested. His voice was good,kinda familiar, then I realized it's Neil Newborn. I realllllly liked Elijah Kamsky from dbh, so I was glad to know he voice acted in the game.

Back to our mechanic. His vibe? Cool. Smoking cigar, giant metal hammer slung over shoulder, kinda military look. Oh, nice sunglasses, dude. His speech too. "Well, well. Didn't think anyone was left! You must be preeetty tough, huh." My immediate thought was, 'oh he's got a showman's vibe!' All the metals levitating in the air, and I knew he was trouble for our guy Ethan. Duke only confirmed my suspicion later. After Ethan got dragged to the trial I laughed at "-and if a man's dick is cut off in the castle blah blah blah.", also at the "nothing like fresh American ground beef!"

Then after Ethan's murderous journey to get his ikea furniture equivalent of daughter, a TV crackles. And I was like, oh? Deja vu? But he was different from Lukas Baker. Much less chaotic, for one. He didn't seem that psychotic compared to that guy. More put together. I saw the whole, 'landing a hand' coming from miles away. Duke did say he's the most dangerous one, after all. And I had a feeling that he wasn't just referring to his mutant power.

With all the purring and threatening, it was more amusing if anything. Testing the person who murdered 3 Lords, Vârcolacs, Lycans in the village all on his own with guns, bombs and some herb juice, by sending him to the lycan infested stronghold. To me Ethan was just one hell of a guy. Sure we all suspected he's not human, but imagine a normal computer engineering guy going through all that. Damn. And Heisenberg was ballsy enough to test him. That or he really was the strongest. Either way, I liked his style. "See you, Ethan." Bless ya Neil Newborn.

And really, when Ethan got to the factory (I absolutely love industrial vibe. Didn't really know he was a metal-welding, real mechanic sort of guy until Ethan got to the factory. REAL ASS ENGINEER WHO OWNS A BIGASS FACTORY), I was a bit excited. Even from outside, the building was big. And just like him, the place was unpredictable. After all the hype, I wanted to see this guy's deal.

Then comes the 'proposal scene'. Yes the one where Karl confesses his undying love for Ethan and asks him to marry him.

Kiddin. That voice clip still cracks me up. All hail Neil Newborn.

When Ethan pulled the cloth away and BAM! conspiracy board showed up, I was smiling. Then the devil pops outta nowhere, walking n talking like a showboat he is, and although I was sure the guy had quite a temper, considering his earlier outburst at the church, his movements seemed.....weirdly calculated. When he slammed that chair down and told Ethan to take a seat, that move seemed calculated too.

That made me actually pause the video and think. Everything about him exuded pride. From the very moment he's introduced in the game, he was nothing but charisma and confidence. 'Most dangerous Lord'. A recluse. Huge factory.

And I wondered. Is that enough for him?

The main reason I didn't find him that great of a character was because at first, I felt the villians were a bit flat. Actually, I found all of the Lords a bit...boring up until Ethan escaped the gauntlet. Everything felt cliché, a heroic father looking for his daughter and defeating monsters. Just another fairy tale. Another bad vs good.

Then I saw how Lady Dimitrescu cried for her daughters. Daniela saying she doesn't want to die before she turns to ash, although she did try to murder Ethan. Shocking reveal of Donna lying in the place of Angie, eyes vacant, blood trickling down her face. And yes, I noticed the bloody hand prints she left at the door frame and wallpapers as she was running away from Ethan. That was heartbreaking. Letting her gardener see his loved one again. Claudia Beneviento...

I don't know much about Moreau, but I do know he got multiple cadous implanted. Maybe that's why his mutation was unstable. Cheese loving, cheesy romantic movies loving, cheesy guy that got effed in the head and is a kid looking for his mommy. That was just...sigh. He had to be put down. Damn Miranda.

Then there was this guy who was clearly smart and ambitious. I started to get excited. I resumed the video. "It's a test. To see if you're strong enough to be apart of Mirander's family." 'You're way off the mark, pal,' I thought. But that was a valid guess.

"Neither did I, but here we are!" Being forced into a 'family'. That was interesting. Of course this wild man could never tolerate the confines of his laughable 'family'.

"Kill me, move up the chain, well fuck that!" Yeah! Fuck that! Fuck the cult bullshit! I got reeeally excited. Here I also noticed his voice sounding a little weird. Slightly distorted.

Then the revving started up again. It dawned on me why my intuition was screaming at me about that chair slam. 'DANGER!!!' The guy seemed all brash and brutish but he had a plan. This guy was smart. Not booksmart or wisdom smart, but the way he acted. The chair was directly in front of that hole.

Take the outsider to Mother dearest. Brownie point + avoid suspicion. Waiting until Ethan takes out other Lords. Strong guy? Potential ally. Negotiation first, if fail, down you go. I personally like the headcannon where Heisenberg was the one who painted yellow all over the village. The ammo crates, levers, everything. Makes sense too, he did write those 'papa' signs with yellow paint.

"You and me, Ethan. Together we go save Rose, and we can USE her, to grind Mirander into paste." I immediately knew Ethan was gonna say fuck no to that. What father would agree to use her daughter like that?

But it was at that moment. That moment, my heart just stopped. Yes I died. In my mind, such pleasant realization just poured into my chest. Oh. Oh, he was a rebel. Up against the control freak of a cult leader.

Hey let's go kill my bitch of a surrogate mother. I'm sick of her cult bs, she insane. Imma gon blast her wanna join?

As soon as I realized he's not one of Miranda's pawns, but an unhinged individual planning to take her down, a person, not some toy soldier, I wanted nothing else other than shaking his damn hand. I wanted it so bad. So bad. Why capcom. I get that Ethan wouldn't take that deal. But goddammit.

I fell hard. Been simping ever since. Anything else after that were just cherries and fruit cocktails on top. His maniacal laughter, complaining on speakers while Ethan fights for his life, experiment logs, 'interesting body', HE HAS A CYBORG UNDEAD ARMY?!?!? Heart eyes motherfucker. Production line of soldiers. 'Heisenberg's quarter' but Karl it's a workshop. Where's bed Karl. Karl. Do you sleep on the fucking floor? You doze off sitting in chair?

Stepping down that floating metal stairs with ease. SKILL. Bullet deflected, again, deflected, oh what's this? That distortion from earlier. His voice changing. HIM MUTATING. "Don't, come, hmm Back!!" Just cutting off the platform so Ethan falls in water. Could've killed him right there. Do you like the guy Karl? That why you spared him? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Rain pours and it's so fitting. God. That metal colossus. I shouted, "Fuck didn't know I'm into that shit! Guess I'm a monster fucker then!" And I loved the fight. His theme song. Even his crystal was beautiful.

Miranda's boss fight was anticlimactic compared to his. It was just so intense. Ethan needed a freaking tank and just some luck (Karl turning himself into a fan/grinder and exposing his main reactor. Ethan managed to get back on tank in the air and fire the rpg one last time) to beat him. His boss fight is actually the most difficult out of all the bosses in the game, and if you try village of shadow difficulty, he's almost impossible to kill.

Capcom please, show us that man doing many bad but kinda cool things in DLC I love that man. Please. Let him kill the witch and be the true maniac he is! Come on! Free the rabid man! He belongs in the wild!!!

#resident evil village #karl heisenberg #lord karl heisenberg #resident evil 8 #ethan winters #mother miranda #alcina demitriscu #donna beneviento #salvatore moreau #iron steed #rant #midnight rants #A wild horse running across the field in abondon. What's wrong with wanting to see that?#i need death or coffee #I love you bastard #mad engineer

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scullysflannel · 3 years

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☕️ not really a topic but i would LOVE it if you try to convince someone who has not seen a single episode of x files (me) to watch x files

thank you for this dream assignment. I’m unhinging my jaw now.

Mulder and Scully aren’t like their reputations. they get talked about like these big ideas—the Believer and the Skeptic—but they are so not dry or one-dimensional or anything else that you might be expecting. they’re the most human characters I’ve ever seen on screen. Scully is curious and earnest and so eager to succeed, but she throws away her definition of success to do the right thing (and because she’s a little rebel. I’m not spoiling anything beyond the first few minutes of the pilot to say that she’s assigned to Mulder to spy on him, but she likes and respects him too much to do it). Mulder is hardworking, kind, restless. so idealistic it looks selfish. he sees his lost sister in every victim. he has trouble sleeping, and I love that it’s not part of the plot. it’s just part of him. some procedurals don’t like to go home with the characters at the end of the day. The X-Files feels like it’s always going home with Mulder and Scully, even when they’re on the road.

every good thing about the show goes through them. that’s the whole point of the story: you think the truth is “out there,” but it isn’t—it’s in other people. and that might sound sentimental or obvious, but The X-Files makes you feel how heavy it is to love and be loved. a lot of Mulder and Scully’s connection is unspoken. and yes, sometimes that gives them communication issues, which I personally think is very sexy and interesting of them, but it’s also so powerful. here are these two people whose job forces them to question everything about the world, but they don’t question each other.

I know I’m getting very Always Sunny conspiracy board about this, but nothing else feels like The X-Files. it’s a mood at the highest level. the whole philosophy behind the show is that knowing there’s a monster in the shadows is scarier and more interesting than seeing that monster. the most powerful things are the ones that can’t really be understood or explained. it’s the same with Mulder and Scully. Chris Carter, the creator, fought so hard against making them romantic, but the joke is on him for a lot of reasons, like (1) he cast David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, who have more chemistry than anyone else on this sad little planet and who like kissing for fun, (2) nothing is more romantic than an intellectual partnership between equals based on trust and mutual respect, and (3) the more he refused to define their relationship with words, the more powerful he inadvertently made it, because, again, the most important things are too big for words. it’s like the show respects Mulder and Scully’s connection too much to try to explain it.

The X-Files made me realize how sick I am of bickering on TV. a lot of shows want us to think that love looks like a little boy pulling a girl’s hair on the playground. but Mulder and Scully have a friendship between adults. they like each other. I know I literally just went on about how their relationship is so powerful it transcends the bounds of fiction etc., but it’s not stuffy. there’s a fun little kernel of madness and codependence at the center of their relationship, which I love because I love watching women in fiction pick their own poison. and Scully’s is Mulder. they’re a little bit mutually destructive with each other, but they’re even more self-destructive on their own. it’s compelling.

shifting to a different corner of my conspiracy board. Mulder and Scully are as great as they are because The X-Files understands exactly where they fit in the world of the show and what brings them together: their shared integrity in the face of the FBI’s manipulation. The X-Files is really about the abuses committed by the government; the villains are men in suits who would do anything to hold on to the power they feel slipping away. this show can go hard when it wants to. I can’t and don’t want to absolve it for being written and directed almost exclusively by white men, which comes through in all kinds of toxic ways. but as far as cop shows go its perspective on the world holds up impressively well—better than shows that are on right now. I can think of a hundred ways The X-Files could have been a better version of itself, but every other show still wants what it has.

even when The X-Files is bad it’s good. sometimes the frustrating things about it only make it more interesting. it’s a show that draws you in; it makes you part of the process of interpreting what’s happening and assigning meaning to it. there wasn’t a writers’ room for the writers to communicate with each other (a concept), which means the story can sometimes feel fragmented, but that also gave the show the capacity to look at Mulder and Scully through a lot of different lenses, which ultimately only makes them more vibrant. they can fit into a comedy or a tragedy or a thriller. they can be unbearably sentimental one week (or one scene) and unbearably withholding the next. but that’s real. people are inconsistent. it also makes it possible for the monster-of-the-week episodes to keep getting better and more inventive even as the mythology starts to fall apart. the great standalone episodes are like short stories, and even the worst ones have Mulder and Scully.

I don’t find The X-Files scary in a jump-scare kind of way; it’s cozy, and it’s got a powerful sense of wonder at the the world. but it does get at the creeping horror of realizing the world doesn’t make sense. what makes the story hopeful is that Mulder and Scully keep trying to make sense of it anyway. they tear down everything they thought they knew because the comfort of a lie is less important than the truth. I just love that the little grey men and the UFOs and the tractor beams all look exactly like you’d expect them to, but belief still isn’t easy. it’s not a show about what exactly real-ass aliens might look like. it’s about how the truth can be really simple and really hard to accept at the same time.

#anon #i can practically feel you training a high-powered rifle on me as we speak #this is too long and possibly nonsense and I made you wait a day and a half and I'm sorry!!#BUT if you're reading this and if you do watch txf please keep me posted #txf #msr #xf thoughts

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phantomphangphucker · 3 years

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Phic Phight - The Weird Little Shit

For: @darks-ink

A class discussion held by Wes about Danny’s weirdness was never not going to be an absolute cluster fuck

Wes smacks the board, “alright, fuckers, thank you for coming-”.

“We’re only here because we lost a bet”.

“Shut up, Dash. You shouldn’t have to be strong-armed into learning the truth”. Everyone rolls their eyes at Wes pretty actively. “Anyway, since you all refuse to see or even listen to the truth of what Danny Fenton is. Instead, this. Weird shit about Danny Fenton one oh one”.

Dash snorts, “now this I can get behind, little shit weighs, like, ten pounds or some shit”. Wes points at him aggressively, “exactly”. Scribbling down ‘weighs less than a sack of potatoes' on the board. Star throwing in her two cents, “yeah and I’ve seen Sam just pick him up under her arm and run off”.

Brittney smacks her desk, “half the time he makes food directly in home ec it’s fucking cold, which ew, but also really weird”.

“Oh yeah he does that with his drinks too. He whole ass ‘drank’ a solid chunk of ice, major power move honestly”.

“And remember that snowball fight? I don’t think he ever actually made any snowballs, he just kept acquiring them”.

“Kid made for a great air conditioner when all the windows got stuck shut though; guy runs cold as fuck”.

Wes is just aggressively scribbling more down with a mildly manic grin.

“We should totally invite him to parties so he can keep the fucking beer cold”.

Dash laughs loudly and smacks Dale on the arm, “now there’s an idea!”, deadpanning, “still not inviting freaky Fenton though”. Dale chuckles very awkwardly.

“Well he’s an ice sculptor so that’s not surprising”.

“What the fuck do you mean ‘ice sculptor’? He clearly lifts weights in his spare time”.

“Oh yeah, he lowkey picked up the back end of my car once”.

“James, your car is a tiny little piece of shit. I could lift that damn thing”.

“Hey”.

“Anyway. Like I was saying, people who handle cold shit all the time, you know, like ice sculptors, usually have cold hands”.

“He lifts weights! Not ice sculpts!”.

“Here I though he was a painter”.

“Why the fuck would he be doing that?”.

“Well he’s always randomly splattered in green paint”.

Basically everyone pauses to look at Hanna. Kwan blinking, “the green is ectoplasm, duh”. Emilie shrugging and nodding, “everyone knows that”.

“Well I thought it was paint”.

“Well you’re clearly stupid”.

“Shut up”.

Dash waves everyone off, “so clearly not a painter or weight lifter, because have you seen his goddamn noodle arms?”.

“He lifts weights!”.

“No he doesn’t!”.

“Who cares! Have you seen his dad? Of course he’s a strong little shit! What really gets me is him getting out of locked rooms”.

“Oh he whole ass climbs out windows and shit”.

“All that ecto that gets on his skin makes his hands all sticky, hence why he can climb the side of buildings”.

“When the heck did you see him doing that?”.

“Oh I totally saw him showing off knife swallowing to some elementary kids”.

“I think he hangs out and does drugs or some shit on the roof”.

“So he climbs up the school building to do drugs? Why wouldn’t he just use the hidden steps like a normal person?”,

“I’m pretty sure the kitchen staff actually include him in their budget for missing utensils cause he eats so many of them”.

“Julie, no one’s saying Danny’s close to normal. Also kids got an iron stomach damn”.

Dash has to jump in there, “I totally made him eat my underwear once”. Earning him a round of judging glances. “What? I didn’t expect him to actually do it. I was planning to mock him for pussying out. But then the little fucker went and did it”.

“Power move”.

“Shut up”.

“You fed your underwear to a guy who builds guns?”.

“Excuse me but what?”.

“Maybe him doing so much dangerous shit is why his heartbeats all slow and stuff”.

“Again, excuse?”.

“Well we totally tested everyone’s heart rates and breathing and shit and he’s super low. He blamed his corn supper”.

“That’s stupid”.

“His corn supper had teeth, Todd”.

“Back to the gun making because what?”.

“FentonWorks is a weapon company what do you expect?”.

“James, he made a shotgun out of a pencil, two toothpicks, an elastic band, and a snapped in half penny. The thing was magically welded together”.

“You can’t weld a fucking pencil. It’s wood, moron”.

“Well it was goddamn wielded”.

Wes grumbles, “yeah he welded my binder zipper together once, stupid pyrokinesis”. Star glares at him, “I thought this wasn’t about your crazy conspiracy crap?”. Wes glares at her like she’s stupid.

“Ignoring Wes being crazy again. You guys do know he has laser beam lipstick right? He could totally weld stuff with that”.

“Didn’t he have a tail that one day?”.

“Huh?”.

“That lipstick of his is the plasma peach one right? Because girl I so need some, it makes amazing blush”.

“Oh no a dog just crawled under his shirt. I think he was trying to hide the treats or some shit?”.

“Fucking where? in his shoulder blades?!?”.

“Oh my god that’s right, he can totally pop all his joints out so probably yeah”.

“Since when could he do that? Better yet, why? Fucking ow”.

“His fingers also glow green when he cracks them”.

“Right Right I remember that! We also got him under a black light, totally wild”.

“I wish I could pop out my joints randomly”.

“He probably just eats glow sticks and they leaked into his joints and shit”.

“THAT MAKES NO SENSE”.

“Who cares, take him to a rave”.

“Oh my god yes he does amazing makeup”.

“Wait Fenton does makeup now too?”.

Wes points at Dash, “he’s got to cover up the dead parlour to his skin somehow”. With half the class shouting, “HE’S NOT DEAD”.

Emilie pursing her lips, “but what if he was, that would be hot”.

“EXCUSE ME!?!”.

“Oh get off your vanilla basic bitch high horse, Karen”.

Wes rubs his forehead, “not this shit again”. Smacking the board, “weird shit about Fenton, people! Not y’alls weird necrophilia fetish!”.

“Hey that’s just Emilie”.

Jesse looks genuinely offended, “bitch what? Have you seen a ghost? That glow? Mmmmmh yeah, daddy”.

Star chokes, “oh my god. I love our town”.

Wes sighs, “I should just start blocking you people from seeing ghosts at all. Cover those eyes until you stop BEING FUCKING BLIND”.

“Eyes never stop seeing, they just get covered”.

“NO! NO! BAD!“.

“That weirdly reminds me that Danny can totally walk with his eyes closed”.

“That’s weird how?”.

“How ‘bout you fucking try it then!”.

Dash shrugs, “well his eyes go glowy green all the time so no surprise he can just see through his eyelids”. More than a few people look to him, “why did you not add that to the weird list?”.

“Because it’s not weird”.

“Dash... do you know anyone with goddamn glowing eyes... besides ghosts”.

“Uhhh the entire Defect Quartet”.

“Excuse?!?”.

“Honestly him biting open pop-cans is weirder”.

“Oh god yeah, that’s horrible to hear”.

“He dead ass cut his lip up once doing that and just... kept doing it. There was blood all over his neck”.

“Why the heck didn’t anyone take an edgy aesthetic photo of that? Goddamn”.

“I feel like this is more an off-the-books class on discovering that Danny might actually be hot”.

“You wanna say Fenton’s hot again? I’ll goddamn choke you, motherfucker”.

“Do it you fake ass bear dom”.

A couple of people shuffle out of their desks and away when Dash actually throws a punch at Jasper.

“On a side note, once saw Danny sleeping in a trash can”.

“How is that weird”.

“How isn’t it? It’s a trashcan”.

“And he’s trash, your point”.

“YOU'RE GONNA HAVETA HIT HARDER IF YOU WANT TO MAKE AN IMPRESSION ON YOUR TWINK BOY! HE’S DURABLE AS FUCK!”.

“FUCK YOU!!!”.

“Huh, he did survive falling from the ceiling multiple times and that drowning once”.

“Fucker wasn’t drowned, he can breathe underwater”.

“Excuse me?”.

“WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?!”.

Dash snapping his head around, “IM TEACHING HIM A LESSON!”. Jasper just smirks, “I DON’T NEED BREATH PLAY TIPS FROM YOU!”. Dash tries punching him again.

“This is ridiculous, I mean really, Danny would be the dom”. That silenced the entire room.

“What?”.

“Come on, he ate Skulker once ‘cause the guy was coping him an attitude”.

“DANNY EATS GHOSTS?!?”.

Wes turns around and slams his head on the board, “God fuck this is such a cluster fuck”.

“You’re hosting this and holding us hostage here”.

“YOU’RE NOT MY HOSTAGES! YALL LOST A BET!”.

“Oh suck my toes”.

“WHAT?!”.

“While Wes loses his mind for the fifth time this week, what we’ve got is he’s icy as shit, likes welding and makeup and ice sculptures and weight lifting, weighs fuck all, just vores goddamn everything, and climbs shit weirdly well?”.

“You’re forgetting all the glow shit”.

“HA! Glowing shit”.

“Fuck Todd, you are a dumbass”.

“IN SHORT LOCAL ELDRITCH TEEN BUT HE’S STILL NOT A GODDAMN GHOST WES!”

“FUCK YOU! IT’S SO GODDAMN OBVIOUS HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE LIKE THIS OHMYGOD!”.

Just then Danny Fenton opens up the door, the class going dead silent while he glances around slowly. Him looking to the whiteboard, then slowly back to his fellow teens, speaking “Oh no. Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no”, while slowly backing out and closing the door.

At first, no one says anything before Star snickers, “pffft”; the entire classroom bursting out into laughter directly afterwards.

Wes turning around and smacking his head on the board once again, “why. Just. Why me”.

END.

Prompt: Wacky reveals (ex: Danny drying up too quickly bc intangibility, Danny's drink stays cool way too long, people's electronic devices are always more charged when they've been near Danny, etc)

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yellowocaballero · 2 years

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Thoughts on the Obi-Wan's mindset during the whole Boba thing? The end of the Fishhooks sequel especially felt so bad when he took Boba's agency away. Like he NEEDED to try and figure out what was happening, but oof.

S weObi-Wan was seriously just meant to be a narrative tool for an actual action scene and someone to fight Jango, but his thematic significance ended up ballooning. It also made me realize that the absolute best canon Obi-Wan is a supporting character, there to solve every problem in 2 minutes and be as annoying as possible.

As is obviously evident, Obi-Wan catches one whiff of the situation and over-commits HARD. He doesn't even know what's going on, he just knows that these kids who act and feel like babykin and Anakin need rescuing (Please ignore Bad Batch: Omega looks exactly like a slightly younger, blonde Boba from AOTC, because pre-pubescent boys and girls are a little indistinguishable). He misinterprets the situation due to his personal biases, convinced that he can use this to change the past, but what stopped him in the past stops him again. Like Jango, his past freezes him.

By the end of the story, Boba admired Obi-Wan in a strange way: Boba's practical life has no room or allowance for kindness, and Omega needed that practicality to protect her. But practicality without kindness results in cruel and cold people, and Boba's glad that Obi-Wan can provide the kindness and gentleness that Omega needs (that Boba & Kamino can't provide) if she wants to grow up into a strong, kind person. Boba's glad that Obi-Wan was there, even if he is technically his enemy.

Anyway, Obi-Wan never forgives himself for the rest of time. Knight Guilt Complex NEVER gets over this. He's failed again. He's failed Anakin, again. Obi-Wan believes so strongly and uncomplicatedly that the Jedi code is always good, that it always results in the right thing, that being a Jedi always helps - and this moment really damages his faith in that. He's never thought of kindness and strength as mutually exclusive, and this is his first mega failure.

Two years later, we and Obi-Wan see the full picture and exactly how bad the situation is. You can pretty safely assume that during the Kamino tour, Obi-Wan interprets the situation as him not having failed two kids, but two hundred thousand kids. The Jedi Order has fucked up. Canon Obi-Wan doesn't react nearly this strongly because he doesn't really get the reality of the situation, but Canon Obi-Wan has not had a clone niece for two years! He's overwhelmed, horrified, disgusted, and confused. He's also doubting Omega, who has kept silent about all of this for 'Sith Lord in the Senate' reasons. You see him fall back strongly on the Wise Jedi :) thing here, but you also see it visibly crack way more than it probably ever has. He's never forgiven himself for the thing with Boba, and he feels like he's seeing exactly how badly he's fucked up.

Or, more precisely, how evil Jango Fett is he fucking HATES the man he is the WORST Jedi don't hate they DETEST they LOATHE Do as I say not as I do Anakin. It's heavily implied that the entire Council know about Obi-Wan's weird-ass conspiracy theory about Jango Fett and clones and pepe silva boards and god, please just focus on your mission, and why do you keep disappearing once a week, where do you even go. Hilariously, it's double implied Jango is the same way. The homoeroticism thing is a joke they just genuinely detest each other and everything the other represents. Obi-Wan thinks Jango is a far worse person than he actually is and Jango thinks Obi-Wan is literally out here trying to steal his baby. Babies. No, baby. Babies but only when you want her. Just baby otherwise. Okay well FINE you want her so bad you can HAVE HER Jesus who CARES I know objectively she's probably exactly as sentient as Boba is and I've never really been comfortable with that so if she's gone and happy then everybody wins. Are you happy now Boba? Boba? Boba are you happy now? :c

From then on, because the continuation is much less complicated than Fishhooks lmfao, Obi-Wan's just a foil for Jango. I believe firmly that foils should be the opposite and the same. He's all heart and no hardness (except for when he is); he cares deeply about the clones and wants to see their human sides (completely unknowing how to actually interact with them); he cares a lot about Boba's happiness and safety (that gets a little forgotten in favor of complete sniping). And, obviously, at the end, he's come down to Jango's level. No other choice.

I think I read a quote by perhaps glucas somewhere that 'the minute the Jedi agreed to fight they lost'. Obi-Wan choosing to become just like every other adult who took advantage of Boba, abandoning his rigid Jedi integrity for practicality, is the moment when the Jedi agreed to fight and the moment when the Jedi lost. His Jedi values that he treasured so much, that formed such a huge core of who he was, were why he couldn't save Boba. He compromised those values for the greater good, as all Jedi will soon learn to do, and he is now just like everyone else.

But also like he downloads the secret Kamino files, gives them to Omega, she discovers the chip conspiracy, yay happy ending clones all free galaxy dance scene droid head bongos etc.

Whew that was long. Please imagine all of the adorable cool cousins Anakin and Padme adventures (Padme shows up earlier because Anakin discovers that Obi-Wan has sex, I wrote this out but it sucks so I haven't posted it), the extremely bedraggled Uncle Obi-Wan adventures, and Omega mining bitcoin adventures. Obi-Wan is 5x as terrified of Cody as he is in canon, etc, thanks for reading!

#my writing #anakin breaks in through omega's window looking for obiwans secret love child #it's just an eight year old with a gaming rig #the understated comedy of jango excommunicating omega #is that his genuine understanding was #'yeah so omega is boba's sister but not my child #and kenobi is omegas caretaker #and im boba's dad #so that makes kenobi very loosely one of my in-laws'#'I have to fix this as soon as possible.'#I'm so sorry about how long these get I genuinely try to condense #and then i waste a paragraph on dumb jokes #OTL

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lilyclawthorne · 3 years

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Separate Tides Thoughts

HAPPY SEASON 2 PREMIERE DAY!!

This is literally just a bunch of very stream of consciousness writing, from pretty much every time i had a thought about something while rewatching the episode so it may be messy/all over the place

my immediate concern about these videos luz is sending that aren’t going through, is what if the emperor does manage to even briefly open a portal?? would all of her messages suddenly go through only to not be able to contact again?? and maybe that’s why it kinda looks like a detective/conspiracy board behind camila in the trailer because she has plenty of information from luz herself that she now needs to piece together.

completely unimportant detail but i figured lilith’s gem was like eda’s, in how eda’s gem seems to be a part of her, but we can see in luz’s video that it seems to be attached to lilith’s old dress so just what the fuck is up with eda having a gem in her body

also the fact that they decided to be bounty hunters was odd to me, but it’s clear they really need the money. it was also clear later on that not only did eda not want luz to go after the selkidomus to keep her safe, but also because it was an innocent creature. part of me can’t help but wonder if internally a part of eda didn’t want to go after bigger bounties because having once been the biggest bounty herself, she knows that if the emperor wants them that badly then they may actually not be bad at all

i hate that last season everyone was cheering for eda to be freed, but now without magic they’re very willing to take advantage of her and talk about her. it’s mean and i expected public gossip to happen more for lilith for being a traitor, but then again people may not know about her magic yet so maybe they do still fear her a bit. all of this kinda tells me though that people bought belos’ crap about eda being stripped of her magic because she’s a wild witch, so they’re all judging her again

i love how bitter lilith is about the golden guard. also teen? kinda curious if any of our teens would’ve known him when very young or if he was raised specifically for this role

i like the detail on belos’ statue where there’s a crack over his eye around the same spot luz broke his mask

love how much eda cares for luz and puts her needs first and buying her the only foods she can digest and likes. such a mom. it’s also very clear that she’s struggling and doesn’t want luz to worry about it at all. also side note, love that lilith was asking about apple blood, pls let these sisters get drunk together.

it does not surprise me that eda likes to bring up the curse pretty casually as a retort back at lilith. it seems very in her nature to use it like that, but i can’t help but wonder if she’s avoiding actually addressing it. and if she keeps joking, will that affect lilith into like, idk a breakdown that forces the two of them to talk about it.

LULU?? BESTIE?? thanks hooty i hate it

Luz you’re doing amazing sweetie, show them you’re no sea squirt.

okay so now we can clearly see lilith’s magic is on it’s last legs. almost got herself fucking killed by some fire bees. that being said i’m very concerned about her whole “who am i without magic? without a coven?” i think she kinda misses the structure, and is still used to only knowing what to do simply because she had a leader to follow.

“I AM A WITCH, UNHINGED” i think she’ll be adapting to the chaotic nature of the owl house crew in no time though if she keeps acting like this

“some kind of weird bird worm” i mean she’s not wrong....

“you have no idea what im going through” dramatic emo ass bitch

it does not surprise me that after pardoning eda, the coven would jump at the first opportunity to arrest her again. pretty sure she’ll be a wanted criminal again in no time.

golden guard very much concerns me. villains that go from really fun to intimidating or threatening as fast he seems to do here are ones i worry about. it kinda feels like he enjoys scaring people?? idk im not sure how to describe it. anyways threatening to hold them over the boiling seas where even the steam will give them third degrees feels really fucking cruel but maybe im empathizing here because at the time of writing this im still suffering from second degree burns i got three weeks ago so third degree sounds horrifying rn

love how excited lilith is seeing hooty at work when she’s not the one getting beaten up.

I’m glad luz and eda are talking about luz’s guilt and that eda knows what she’s been carrying around now. i didn’t want to see luz carry around all that guilt for so long she’s too good for that AND its misplaced guilt.

i do love though how at the beginning of the episodes we see the lengths eda will go to by prioritizing food for luz first and doing everything she can to keep the girl safe, and then we come back full circle to seeing the lengths luz is willing to go to for eda as well

“my life is pretty great because i’m friends with luz the human” brb im CRYING.

Luz is SO clever. This girl is so smart and creative and her solution for helping the selkidomus is just wonderful. And also look at that fake selkidomus she made!! That is amazing!!

pls the raspberry Luz gave the golden guard was adorable

i LOVE the parallel between eda doing her first light glyphs and when luz did her first ones. i’m also glad eda didn’t struggle with the glyph like i’ve seen some people worry could have happened

just occurred to me that eda mentioned the gris will sell at the night market. its probably nothing but does make me concerned about them becoming night market vendors instead.

HOOTCIFER? thanks lilith i hate it. also combine it with lulu and you get lucifer.

it’s hard to hear but as we go further into the scrying potion and see the emperor, and the very end of the “what are we eating” conversation that’s fading out from the owl house we hear lilith say “i’m fine with whatever, things are starting to feel right again” and idk if she means since she left the coven or for the first time since she was a kid but either way im so glad to hear it

also my brother pointed out belos is probably saying “knock knock human” because he knows he’s being spied on by the owl house with the potion and i hate that because if the emperor takes any action because of it, it’ll probably be another lilith fucked up moment because she didn’t think it through.

also, one other thing i couldn’t help but do in this episode was notice some parallels between luz and lilith! they’re both going out of their way to try and do something for eda, and are both insistent that they have to do this alone. but also lilith’s line about “you have no idea what im going through” really did make me think perhaps underneath everything she has a dramatic personality, and luz does too at times for fun and wouldn’t it be cute if they got along over something like that.

also this episode? great for pictures of lilith with messy hair, of her screaming, or general annoyance, so, enjoy:

pls i love this face and the noise she makes at this moment as well as her little ear twitch ^

this is my favorite messy hair screenshot simply because it looks SO fluffy here and i want that for her ^

this particular screenshot ain’t about lilith, it’s about the face eda is making here and how cute it is!! ^

#the owl house #toh #owl house #separate tides #posting before my job starts and I end up busy until 6 pm 🙃

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introvertguide · 3 years

Text

Bonnie and Clyde (1967); AFI #42

The next film that we covered for the group was the period true- crime drama, Bonnie and Clyde (1967). It is the story of the notorious Barrow gang, led by Clyde Barrow and Bonnie Parker, during the American Great Depression. This film features a cavalcade of some of Hollywood's biggest actors including Warren Beatty, Faye Dunaway, and Gene Hackman. It is supposedly quite accurate because some of the witnesses and even a couple of the gang members of the actual crimes were still alive during the production of the film. Actress Estelle Parsons won Best Supporting Actress for he portrayal of Blanche Barrow, which I would like to comment on. I also want to speak a little to the accuracy of the story, but first I want to spoil the plot of the film.

SPOILER WARNING!!!! I AM GOING TO REVEAL THE WHOLE MOVIE SO I CAN COMPARE TO WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT THE ACTUAL HISTORY!!! THE MOVIE AND THE REAL LIFE STORY WILL BE SPOILED COMPLETELY!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

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In the middle of the Great Depression, Clyde Barrow (Warren Beatty) and Bonnie Parker (Faye Dunaway) of Texas meet when Clyde tries to steal the car belonging to Bonnie's mother. Clyde had spotted Bonnie hanging out in her room naked from the heat, and she spotted him watching her and was intrigued by the danger. Bonnie is bored by her job as a waitress, which Clyde correctly guesses, and decides to take up with him and become his partner in crime. They pull off some weak crimes including a bank heist at a location that has been hit by the depression and there is no money. Clyde actually makes the teller come out to the escape car and tell Bonnie what the deal is and she just laughs at the situation.

The pair find an extra man in a worldly ignorant but mechanically inclined gas station attendant named C.W. Moss (Michael Pollard). Clyde apparently has a way with words because people just join him for no real reason besides being bored. Clyde's older brother Buck (Gene Hackman) and his wife, Blanche (Estelle Parsons), a preacher's daughter, also join them. The two women dislike each other at first sight because Bonnie thinks that Blanche will ruin their fun (she does) and Blanche believes that Bonnie is evil and wants to get rid of her (she does). Keep in mind while watching this that Estelle Parsons won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for this portrayal.

Bonnie and Clyde turn from pulling small-time heists to robbing banks since they now have a full gang. Their exploits also become more violent when C.W. comically botches a bank robbery when he sees an open parking spot and decides to parallel park. He can't get out of the space quickly and he delays their escape, forcing Clyde to shoot the bank manager in the face when he jumps onto the slow-moving car's running board. The gang is pursued by law enforcement, including Texas Ranger Frank Hamer (Denver Pyle), whom they capture and humiliate by taking his photo and setting afloat on a little dingy on a nearby river.

The group likes to switch out cars because they treat the getaway vehicles very rough. When they are seen stealing a car by its owner, a young man named Eugene Grizzard (Gene Wilder) and his girlfriend Velma Davis (Evans Evans), the robbed couple attempt to follow the stolen car. The gang stops and takes the couple hostage in the chase car and even pull over to get some burgers. They let the couple go when they find out they are in their 30s (too old apparently) and find a roadside stop. A raid later that night catches the outlaws off guard, mortally wounding Buck with a shot to his head and injuring Blanche so she can't see. Bonnie, Clyde, and C.W. barely escape alive. With Blanche sightless and in police custody, Hamer tricks her into revealing C.W.'s name, which they use to find any safe places where the remaining gang might go (until then, C.W. was only an "unidentified suspect").

Hamer locates Bonnie, Clyde, and C.W. hiding at the house of C.W.'s father Ivan (Dub Taylor), who thinks the couple have corrupted his son (as evidenced by an ornate tattoo that Bonnie convinced C.W. to get). The elder Moss strikes a bargain with Hamer: in exchange for leniency for the boy, he helps set a trap for the outlaws. When Bonnie and Clyde stop on the side of the road to help Mr. Moss fix a flat tire, the police in the bushes open fire and riddle them with bullets. Hamer and his posse come out of hiding and look pensively at the couple's bodies as a nearby flock of swallows fly away.

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This film stood out as it was a comical version of the super violent gangster films that were popular in the 30s. Storywriters David Newman and Robert Benton wanted to punch up the violence with a romantic undertone so they sent the script to French New Wave director Francois Truffaut for contributions. Warren Beatty was visiting Paris and heard about the project then decided he wanted to produce the picture. He was going to have his sister, Shirley MacLaine, play the roll of Bonnie until he decided that he was going to play the part of Clyde. That would have been really awkward, so he tried find a lead actress that he could have a romantic scene with. Many actresses were approached and Faye Dunaway was eventually chosen for the part.

Beatty decided that they needed an American director and offered that job to a plethora of established directors in Hollywood and finally landed on Arthur Penn even after he turned down the position multiple times. What it all comes down to is that not a lot of people wanted to be part of this production. It was considered somewhat of a risky art film at the time because of the questionable sexuality of Clyde and the heavy violence.

So what was so risky? Looking at films that were made only a few later, this seems rather tame. This film came out just a little before the MPAA was established and the writers had been influenced by the French films that didn't have the same restrictive film rules that were present in the United States. It was originally proposed that Clyde be played as bisexual, but the script eventually called for him to be more asexual. The real Clyde Barrow had been sexually assaulted in prison so he would have been scarred by that experience and might not have been interested in Bonnie in that way. This depth into a character's sexuality had generally been avoided in American cinema before this film and there was concern about audience reactions. They shouldn't have worried because the movie was a sleeper hit, eventually making $75 million on a $2.5 million budget.

The number of graphic murders actually shown on screen (especially when Clyde shot a guy in the face who jumped on the car during a get away) was unprecedented at the time. There was also some dismay by critics about the portrayal of Bonnie as sleazy and the whole gang as somewhat stupid. These were a bunch of uneducated folks that grew up in a time when it was more important to find a job. They were smart enough to avoid capture for years, which is shown in the movie, so they had to have some sort of intelligence.

There is a little bit of an elephant in the room with this movie and it involves the historical accuracy. The dates and crimes are well documented and a lot was known about the characters when the movie was produced. However, a major part of the movie was speculation and fabrication about the personalities in the gang. The characters that were based on living people at the time were actually the least accurate as C.W. Moss was a fictional person based on two different gang members (one who was still alive) and the actions of Blanche Barrow were based on a different member of the gang. The real Blanche Barrow lived until the 1980s and famously complained that Parsons's portrayal "made [her] look like a screaming horse's ass!" Parsons is the one the went on to win Best Supporting Actress.

This film was much more enjoyable for me on second watch. The first viewing left me hating the character of Blanche and I wondered if there was some sort of conspiracy to get that actress an Oscar. On second view, I realize that she was necessary to be a foil to the gang. There had to be a weak link in the chain and the audience knew that she would be the downfall of the group. Her presence made the police encounters all the more intense because there was this crazy wild card that could ruin everything at any time. It really adds a touch of comedy along with a bigger element of suspense. She is annoying, but enjoyable, and the people around her react to her behavior in a realistic way, so I appreciate what the character brings to the table.

I would highly suggest looking into the real life of Bonnie and Clyde along with the whole Barrow Gang because they took major advantage of the Great Depression banks, but not so much the suffering people. To some, the members of the Barrow gang were considered celebrities or even heroes because they were getting back at the banks that had mishandled so many people's money. I started my search off with this nice article on the Encyclopedia Britannica site and dug deeper to find out more about the connections between the real people and the film:

https://www.britannica.com/biography/Bonnie-and-Clyde-American-criminals

So does this film belong on the AFI top 100? I absolutely think so. It has some connections to French New Wave, but it is American directed with American actors and it tells the story of some of the most notorious criminals in American history. It is also a very good film that won Oscars and was a box office success. Bonnie and Clyde are part of Americana and were almost the equivalent of a Robin Hood character to many at the time. Would I recommend this film? I would. Keep an eye out for the Blanche character because she can be annoying, but know she serves a purpose and the movie is not all about her. The connection between Bonnie and Clyde is epic and has influenced a lot of American films, so enjoy it for the cinematic quality, the history in film, and the history of the United States.

#bonnie and clyde #true crime #crime drama #warren beatty #faye dunaway #introvert #introverts #classic cinema #AFI top 100 #crime couples #famous criminals

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tryingtobeclassy · 4 years

Text

choi san . . . how real is your love : part II

part i.

genre: San x female!reader, college au

description: While trying to get rid of an obnoxious ex you end up in a sort of unusual situation. A fake relationship. With none other than the biggest player on the campus - San.

word count: 4.1 k

warnings: swearing, alcohol, smut-ish ??

. . . . .

Monday. Without a doubt the worst day of the week. You were seated in front of the lecture room next to Yunho as you waited for your next class.

“I still can’t believe you’re dating The San”, he commented.

“Fake. Fake dating”, you felt the need to correct him.

“Fake or not you got something many girls on the campus would be ready to kill for.”

You were about to say something to that statement, but the most annoying little mosquito decided to bother you once again.

“What the hell was that at the party?” Jonah asked furiously once he walked up to you two.

“What the hell was what? Me having a good time?”

“You and San?”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “I thought we went through this already.”

“He’s gonna get bored and break up with you after a week you know?”

“Okay”, you said completely flatly even though that sentence made something inside of you rage, but your tone seemed to strike a specific string with him as well.

“Okay?”

“He won’t do that. And even if he does, why the fuck do you care?”

“Because I care about you!”

In certain situations that would’ve been something very sweet to hear, but ironically you just felt like beating the shit out of him.

“Well stop caring”, you yelled. “We ain’t together. We ain’t friends or anything else and we never again will be. Just fucking leave me alone!”

He was silent for a moment. Realizing a bunch of students around you falling silent and watching the drama that’s going down.

“You’ll see in a few days I was right”, he said before finally leaving.

You clenched your fists and punched the air a few times trying to get rid of at least a tiny bit of anger.

“Is it possible to get a restraining order when it comes to this kind of bullshit?” you asked Yunho as you were massaging your temples.

“I don’t know. I don’t study law.”

It looked like this whole little act will gonna have to take a lot longer than you initially thought to finally really get rid of Jonah once and for all. He really was one of the most persistent motherfuckers you have ever come across and sadly you were stupid enough to date him and lead yourself into all this mess.

You were whining about your Jonah problems to Yunho and on Friday San also fell victim to your rants during the promised pizza date.

“Damn, that dude really doesn’t know how to take rejection”, he commented while also patiently listening to everything you had to say.

“I really thought this dinner would be the end of this whole relationship thing, but I guess I’ll have to nag you for a bit longer.”

“I like to be nagged this way”, he smiled and you could feel your damn heart warming up. Don’t!, you thought in your head. Don’t you dare catch feelings! “And don’t forget that there’s also a family dinner.”

“Not gonna lie, I’m really not looking forward to that one.”

“Why not?”

You shrugged your shoulders. “Not a fan of meeting anyone’s parents. And it especially doesn’t sound fun when they think I’m your girlfriend.”

“Okay, fair enough, but at least since you know we’re breaking up, you don’t have to try and leave a good impression”, he said reassuringly.

“But then when you bring an actual girlfriend they’re gonna be like ‘oh this one’s way lovelier than the caveman you brought the first time’”, you added with an almost sulky tone which made him laugh for a second.

“I’m sure they won’t call you a caveman.”

“That didn’t make things much better”, you said while trying to contain the half pout, but still softly laughed.

Soon enough the waiter finally came over with your drinks. Free drinks. Which made San very excited. And the fact both of your colas came in one huge glass with two straws made him even more excited.

“Oh, this is a proper couple drink”, he exclaimed as he wiggled his eyebrows in an attempt to tease you.

You tried to act as if his childish act isn’t getting to you the way he wanted as you rolled your eyes, but a traitorous laugh still escaped your lips.

You weren’t sure how to call that night once it finished. Was it a date? Was it just two friends hanging out trying to cheat themselves some free drinks? You couldn’t tell. And the fact he kept his hand around your waist the entire walk home and even gave you a soft forehead kiss for goodbye didn’t help the case. You didn’t know if he was doing all of that because he was just so incredibly dedicated to the role, because it all came so naturally to him and he didn’t even realize that you thought all of it wasn’t necessary or was it something else.

You didn’t have the proper answer to any of the questions you laid in front of yourself, but you decided to push them all aside. You felt like it was better not to even know them.

The next day an unplanned small get together became part of your schedule as San invited you to come to the smaller party some of his friends are going to. He said that there’s a high chance of Jonah being there as well so it would be a proper chance to prove his conspiracy of them dating for only a week wrong.

The party really wasn’t even a party. It was basically just a bunch of people in a living room sitting around the coffee table either drinking, vaping or playing some card and board games.

“y/n!” Wooyoung was the first to exclaim as you entered the room and a bunch of other people cheerfully greeted you as well even though you didn’t know almost anyone in the room.

“Glad you could make it, babe”, San said enthusiastically and waved his hand signalling you to come over to him. He was sitting on the end of the couch and he moved just enough to make room for your ass as well. Once you sat down he immediately grabbed your legs and threw them over his own to which you almost exclaimed surprisingly but were cut off with him moving you closer so he could leave you a kiss.

You smiled, not even sure if it was intentional acting or just your normal reaction. You noticed Jonah really was there as well and he looked nothing but happy over the way you were cuddled up to San.

Thankfully he wasn’t directly in your view so you managed to go on with your night without thinking much about him. San’s friends were all a bunch of popular guys from the campus, but all of them turned out way nicer than you expected as well. Seonghwa was especially one of the guys you heard a lot about – Liv has especially put herself a personal mission to try and win his dick over. But damn, he was one of the nicest souls you have ever come across.

Whatever included alcohol, some games and good company was a formula for a good time and that’s exactly what the night turned out to be. You were still giggling and throwing around jokes while you and San made your way hand in hand towards home, stumbling around like two drunks that you at that moment actually were.

“Oh shit, is that rain?” you suddenly yelled as a few drops hit your face. A few drops that already the next moment turned into a whole storm making you turn your little walk into a sprint towards the dorms.

“Jesus Christ, that literally sobered me up”, you said as you entered the building and started flapping your hands around trying to get rid of the unnecessary water.

San walked you all the way to your room and while unlocking it, you realized that he had a whole way to his house left after this so your mind started traveling through time and dimensions as you were measuring how good of an idea the thought that popped in your head really was.

“You wanna stay over for a bit?” you finally asked. “At least until the rain stops.”

A bright smile shined on his face. “I wouldn’t want to disturb your roommate.”

“Oh, she’s never here on Saturdays”, you added quicker than you expected.

You tried to figure out what’s going through his head, but his face seemed more than happy to accept the offer. You let him in, immediately apologizing for the catastrophical mess left inside.

“I’d lend you a dry t-shirt, but I doubt you’d fit into any of my clothes.”

“That’s fine”, he said and the second after that pulled his shirt off and put it over a chair.

You could feel your cheeks heating up as you couldn’t help yourself not to stare at his naked torso. “So you plan on walking around half naked?”

He moved closer to you, grabbed you around the waist and pulled even closer, obviously not wanting to let any space come between you two.

“Does that bother you?” he asked with a flirty smile, but you could hear in his voice he was obviously teasing you. Just like he always does, but you still couldn’t help your heart that started pounding faster and faster and the cold you felt from the rain going away cause you could feel your entire body heating up. You just prayed your cheeks weren’t the colour of a tomato. You didn’t want to give him that satisfaction.

“Do whatever you want, I don’t care”, you said with an unexpected burst of confidence that he was taken aback just for a bit. He stared you in the eyes and if he wasn’t holding you, you felt like you would’ve melted all over the floor.

The moment of silence felt incredibly long and heavy, but somehow not in a bad way. The unusual anticipation left hanging in the air as you waited for his reaction to your outburst moulded itself into some sort of insane tension. There was something going on. And it wasn’t just flirting to annoy you.

“Can I kiss you?” he finally asked and you could feel your heart stop for a second before it went into complete rampage mode. There wasn’t anything in his voice to make it sound like a joke. He didn’t have that usual playful smile. He was completely serious this time.

It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to say yes. It would go completely against the one rule you set up for yourself in this. But God knows you weren’t thinking anywhere near straight in that moment as you just crashed your lips against his without saying anything. The hands you had placed on his bare chest wandering around his neck as you wanted to get him as close to you as humanly possible.

Everything felt different this time than the time you kissed at the party. Something about it felt more real. There was no one watching. No one for who you had to put on an act. It felt passionate. It felt raw. It felt hungry. Just standing there pressed against each other – your hands gripping his hair and his sliding down to your butt as you just kept kissing like there was no tomorrow.

He pulled away for a second with a grin on his face. “I bet you’re cold”, he said while trying to catch his breath and his hands slowly wandered under your wet shirt making you almost twitch at his touch on your bare skin. Moments later your shirt was on the floor, soon enough accompanied with a bunch of other clothing pieces, while you two found your way to your bed.

You had sex before, but nothing ever quite felt like that night. Everything he did to you felt like pure pleasure. Every touch, every kiss, every thrust. It took you a while to catch your breath and actually get back to your senses once it was over.

When the rain stopped, he was still there. You laid cuddled up in your bed. Your head laying on his bare chest listening to his heartbeat as his hand kept you close. Every beat so soothing, putting you on the brink of falling asleep.

“This wasn’t part of the deal”, you said at one point, not sure if it would ruin the mood or not, but you just had to say it because you felt like that was the only thing keeping you awake.

“It wasn’t against it either”, he softly replied which made you quietly chuckle.

“Fair point.”

And soon enough you finally fell asleep.

Everything about that night felt good and right until you had a good night sleep. San left while you were still half asleep just grunting noises that couldn’t pass as sentences while he was apologizing for leaving. You hazily remember it was something about having a meet up with Wooyoung that he was already late to.

The moment you actually fully woke up, you immediately rushed to Yunho’s door.

“Bitch, we have a problem!”, you yelled and made your way pass him into the room.

You noticed his roommate Mingi was there and the subject was way to classified for his ears so the moment you stepped in, you immediately turned around and stepped out while grabbing Yunho’s hoodie sleeve and dragging him with you. “I’m buying you coffee.”

He didn’t seem too happy that you got him out in his slippers, but he didn’t complain too much either as there was a café literally next door to the dorms and you looked quite out of it.

“Are you good?” he asked, a proper worried look on his face.

“I slept with San”, you splattered out.

Yunho blinked for a few seconds as his brain processed the information you just threw at him like a baseball and then just grinned: “Nice.”

“No!”, you immediately protested. “Not nice. This just feels like it’s gonna lead to a disaster.”

“Why?”

“What if I actually fall for him?”

You got visibly upset as even your voice raised up quite a bit so Yunho dropped all the jokes and helped you relax for starters. “I think you’re making this into too big of an issue.”

You narrowed your and squinted at him. “How so?”

“Do you like San?”

“Well not yet I don’t”, you said a bit too loudly. “I mean, yeah, he’s cool and everything so far was great, but I don’t know…”

“Just don’t think about it too much and enjoy it while it lasts. If you haven’t caught a single feeling so far, you won’t in the next few days either.”

He seemed very sure of himself, but he still didn’t do too good of a job convincing you. At least you tried taking his advice of not thinking too much about it. You didn’t see San after that for a few days which definitely helped, but once you finally met to get coffee, you tried to talk things through. But he didn’t seem too concerned with everything that was happening. He didn’t seem like it was too big of a deal and you felt like you should stop approaching it as if it was. Maybe Yunho was right. If you haven’t developed any actual romantic feelings so far, maybe you won’t whatsoever.

You came to that coffee date with one thought in mind and went with a completely new one. As if something switched inside of you. Just clicked that, hey, maybe it really isn’t that serious. Which also led to you two sleeping together once again.

And again.

And the fake relationship in which you expected to kiss a few times just for an act soon enough grew into lots of casual sex. But you couldn’t complain. You were having the time of your life. You got to know San in the few weeks all of that was happening better than you expected. He was sweet and caring, but also carried some sort of wild demon inside of him. And then the last step was upon you. It was time to finally meet his family.

You were freaking out the whole day over it. You just wanted to leave a good impression that’s all. Even if you weren’t here to stay and you didn’t actually have to do it well, you still felt like it was a burden. And then something, or better said someone, came along that day that definitely didn’t help with all the stress pilling up inside of you.

“Hey”, Jonah greeted almost shyly as he approached you to the bench you were sitting on, patiently waiting for your next lecture.

“What do you want?” you asked as bitter as you could.

He slowly sat beside you, the whole time staying insanely quiet which started to make you almost nervous. “I’m sorry”, he finally said.

You couldn’t believe your ears. Did Jonah really just… apologize?? And you couldn’t detect any ill will or any signs of insincerity in his voice. He actually sounded like he meant it.

“Okay?...” you said, looking and sounding confused.

“I heard you and San are still together.”

“Oh, yeah… I’m actually having dinner with his fam tonight.”

You weren’t sure why you said that, but nonetheless it felt right saying it to him. He looked surprised by the sentence and you could notice he squeezed his fist a bit tighter, but he still stayed still and quiet – a Jonah you weren’t used to at all.

“Wow…” he said, a slight nervous laugh escaping his lips. “It’s really that serious.”

“I guess it is.”

That was the last time you heard from him. He stopped calling, texting, approaching you in any way possible. He just erased himself from your life. Left you in peace to be happy with the guy you were currently dating. He finally accepted he can’t get you back. And while thinking you’d be the happiest ever over it, seeing him all quiet and almost sad and broken on that bench beside you, you felt a bit bad for him. But the feeling soon enough vanished as stress started gnawing on you like a dog.

All of that thinking and stressing once again was proven useless. The dinner went perfectly. San’s family was just as nice as him. His sister was a lovely woman that was incredibly happy to meet you. You found out a lot of info San might not have wanted you to know like embarrassing childhood stories and such. The moment you really felt like you could finally breathe out was when you noticed his sister winking at him and whispering ‘this one’s a keeper’.

Everything was great. Your plan worked, the contract was fulfilled. And you didn’t know where to go from there.

Another Friday came and for who knows which time again you were sat in the pizzeria, happily sipping your drink from the couple’s glass, stuck deep in thought.

San pulled you back to reality when his warm hand brushed against yours. “Everything alright?”

You stared at him for a moment. A pretty damn long moment. You didn’t know. So much overthinking and worrying about everything yet you never had any answers.

“What now?” you asked.

He blinked a few times, a confused look on his face. “What do you mean?”

“The deal is done. Jonah isn’t nagging me anymore and I did all you asked in return”, you said very seriously. “It’s done so what now?”

“We break up obviously”, he said after a few seconds that felt like an eternity.

You felt as if something squeezed your heart tightly, but you weren’t sure what to think of it. It wasn’t necessarily a bad squeeze. The only thing you were sure is that the way he said that stung a bit.

“Is that what you want?” you asked, your voice dropping a lot quieter.

“I don’t know.”

Something you expected to be done in a few days stretched out on a few weeks, even almost two months. And at some point it stopped feeling like all of that was pretending. Because for who were you pretending when you were alone so many times? The line between it being fake and real was definitely crossed but you weren’t sure how far or how blurry it became. And you were sure San wasn’t sure either. You couldn’t tell what he was feeling about this whole situation, but you definitely stopped thinking all was fake. Some real moments got out of this. Real emotions.

You were left alone so many times. And so many things got out of it that no one would ever know and that would never prove the act tighter. Like being cuddled together under a warm blanket watching a bad movie and making jokes out of it. Exchanging soft kisses while trying to study in your room. Falling asleep on a sofa as you laid on top of him and him hugging you tightly. None of those helped the fake relationship in any way. Those were there because both of you just wanted them to be there. Both of you wanted the other one.

“Not all of this was fake, right?” you wanted him to say it. You wanted to have a clear answer to at least something.

“I know”, he said, becoming as serious as you.

“So did you think about just staying like this?”

You asked him a question you yourself didn’t know an answer to, but his answer was definitely freaking you out. The thought of having different answers was freaking you out.

“How about we write on napkins”, he suggested. “Write yes if you wanna break up and no if you don’t.”

The idea was kind of absurd, but you felt like you understood why he suggested it. If you had different answers, one of you might lie about their feelings to prevent hurting the other one.

It took you a long time to think. To evaluate everything that happened through the weeks. To finally try and grasp how you actually felt about San. You nervously wrote down your answer and nodded as a sign that you were ready.

“On three we show our napkins”, he said and pushed his closer to the centre of the table and you did the same.

Your heart was beating like crazy. The palm that was covering the napkin sweating so much you felt like you’re gonna smudge the text. The anticipation was literally almost killing you. You felt like your stomach was twisting while you waited for him to slowly count down. Once he hit one, you moved your hand.

Both napkins had the same answer.

You sighed in relief as yes was written on his as well. You both wanted to break up this fake relationship.

“Jesus Christ, I thought I’d puke”, you said while waving your hand like a fan trying to calm down.

You could see he was extremely relieved as well.

“How come you said no?” he asked, but not sounding as if he was hurt or anything, just genuinely wanted to hear your reasons.

“I just got out of a long relationship. As fun as this was, I kinda wanna enjoy the solo life for a bit now. Take a break from relationships and everything that comes with it.”

San nodded understandably. “Good. Solo life is great. Which is also why I wanna keep it that way.”

“At least you got your sister off your back?” you laughed.

“Is it gonna be weird if I ask you to pretend to be my girlfriend here and there if she starts nagging again?”

“It would be my pleasure.”

The atmosphere completely switched after that. It became almost even more relaxed and even more real. From now on everything that happens, aside from possible acting for his sister, is supposed to be just the real thing between you two.

“We’re staying friends tho, right?” he asked, an eyebrow slightly raised. You knew he already knew the answer, but was obviously just looking for a confirmation.

“Obviously.”

He nodded, satisfied with the answer he got. “Another question, perhaps a bit out of line but…” he made a short pause and you raised a suspicious eyebrow. “Wanna have sex one last time after pizza?”

You wanted to laugh so loudly that it came out as a snort which just made both of you laugh even harder.

“Sure, why the fuck not.”

. . . end

#i feel like i'm gonna be murdered for this ending whoops #also sorry that it took me this long to post #unexpected uni stuff happened #san #choi san #ateez san #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez au #college au #san college au #san fanfic #san x reader #ateez x reader #san smut #san fluff

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donnerpartyofone · 4 years

Text

A few years ago there was this moment where I got a ton of anonymous messages from some far right asshole about the usual shit--Hillary, the corrosive force of immigration, inherently evil ethnic and religious groups, etc. The messages were weird in that most of them seemed to be copied and pasted out of the middle of some article somewhere, but there was never a source mentioned, and there was never enough information for me to get the whole picture even if I really cared about all this "proof" that black and brown people should be kicked out of Sweden or whatever the point was supposed to be. Some of the messages were actually written by the sender, and they all sounded pretty stereotypically crazy: rude, vague, delirious references to conspiracies, pedophilia, brainwashing, etc on the left, or really just orbiting around Clinton. (This is totally tangential, but to this day I'm convinced that all these reactionary nutbags just want to fuck Hillary Clinton, I mean the enduring, overheated obsession with her has extended so far beyond the the sphere of her electoral campaign or any threat of her achieving greater power that there has to be a reason these freaks keep bringing her up, bringing up the fevered vision of a woman dominating them along with the entire country, a compelling reason, perhaps a BIOLOGICAL reason) I'm still embarrassed about this, but I engaged with this person, posting their inane drivel to try to vivisect it, to explain why it was so stupid and ineffectual. I wasn't that worried about giving them a platform, since the messaging was so primitive and hard to understand if you weren't already on his side, but that was exactly my point: When you make yourself sound like an escaped lunatic in a doomsday sandwich board sign, who is supposed to take anything you say seriously? How could it have any effect besides undermining whatever you're trying to support? That effect, and the strengthening of convictions held by lefties like me, who would naturally like to be as opposite of your raving inarticulate ass as possible? And besides all that, my blog had a pretty apolitical appearance at the time, so why was anon assuming I was this passionate Clinton shill? I mean, fuck him and his bigoted garbage, OF COURSE, but I couldn't figure out how he had targeted me personally for this treatment.

The point that I wish I had gotten then was, it didn't matter. It might have been the result of one of those things you hear about from time to time, about how supposedly a bunch of mean jerks from 4chan (or whatever the current iteration is) are going to conduct a "raid" on Tumblr, like they're going to seek and destroy liberal snowflakes and precious cinnamon rolls with their, uh...incredible verbal prowess I guess. Surely the point was just to get me all riled up so someone could say that they pwned me, although I don't know what the reward of this pwning was supposed to be besides the "made you look!" thrill of tricking me into talking to or about them. I'll never understand the perspective of the kind of person who thinks that you "win" something when someone blocks you online, as if blocking isn't just a way of saying "You are literally worthless." It's interesting how that line of troll thinking works, it seems to suggest something like, "Ah, you should have KNOWN that I was nothing but an insignificant piece of shit with nothing to say, but you treated me like I was worth talking to, so therefore I WIN!" I strongly suspect that all of troll culture (I mean, not LEGIT trolls who bait you with patently stupid decoy ideas, but these little garbage people who bait you with their real actual opinions) is predicated on an urge to masochism, that this kind of person is always a spineless perverted weakling who craves insults and punishment, who feels in their very bones that they deserve the worst, who is at all times secretly drooling to slurp on the delicious bootheel of Hillary Clinton, long after her rally balloons have been found deflated and dangling from the network of powerlines crisscrossing the Real America...

But that reminds me of another self-loathing lunatic of my acquaintance, my ex-boyfriend. Yes, really, but I swear to god this is going somewhere. He was an intelligent guy, a lit major who had graduated with honors from a reputable liberal arts school, an editor at a respected arts & culture publishing house who fancied himself a progressive thinker who stood up for the freedoms of others--and who, I slowly found out, used his enthusiasm for Obama and The Daily Show to mask the noxious brew of casual racism and virulent misogyny that made up his fuel for living. When we were dating, I thought that we had problems, and I thought dealing with problems was a normal part of adult relationships; I thought the opposite of constantly struggling for peace, honesty, and respect was "expecting life to be like a fairy tale", which I certainly did not want to be accused of. So I didn't get what was going on when he would choose some arbitrary trigger for an abusive episode, and I would try, and fail, to resolve whatever was bothering him. I bought in to the idea that we were both intelligent people with respect for one another's intelligence, and that it was possible for us to get at the heart of any trouble through calm and rational discussion. He often gave me plenty of breadcrumbs to follow, indicating that there were REASONS that he was angry with me, which led me to believe I could fix everything by clearing up misunderstandings, since I had never conspired to do anything to him but try to love him. (Although sometimes he wouldn't even tell me what I had supposedly done, intoning "You're a clever girl, you'll figure it out" in a sneering Joan Crawfordesque voice--I should have known then that he didn't need or even want a good reason to attack me) But, his debate style, if I can call it that, involved screaming, changing the subject, repeating whatever I said back to me in a "r*tard voice", impugning my character (or that of my family and friends) in ways that had nothing to do with the argument, and other tactics that ensured that his opportunity to hurt and terrorize me lasted for hours or days. I missed the fact that for him, the fight wasn't a resolvable interruption of our relationship, it was the entire point of the relationship.

The most brilliant thing he'd ever done--though I don't want to call it that, since this has more to do with base instincts than brains--was to use my intelligence against me. If I had placed more importance on my own feelings than I did on "being fair" and "making sense" of our conflicts, then I would have escaped before I had to develop this whole behavioral theory that I am delivering to you now. By producing "reasons" for his anger, he made me think there was a debate to be had, and that the person with the superior logic would win out. I was convinced that would be me, since I knew the Truth, and he was just confused by his inner demons (drugs and alcohol, his shitty friends who "made him" do bad things, his supposed trauma from the last relationship he deliberately destroyed, his inferior parents who made him look bad by being "visionless ant people", and whatever other excuses he surfaced whenever it benefited him to play the tragically injured good guy). What I know now is, all abuse is the same, and it doesn't need or want to justify itself. Its only aim is the free reign of violence. It has no interest in truth or justice of even the most deformed variety. Its goal is to give unfiltered vent to all forms of hatred. The fact that it disguises itself with a mask of rationality, made up of straw men, false equivalences, dubiously construed "facts" arranged into artificial patterns, and other distractingly logical-looking tactics, does not mean that what is inside operates on, or is vulnerable to, actual logic. It's all just id monster shit. Do not interact.

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insomnia-productions · 5 years

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modern mdzs: tumblr styles

Wei WuXian:

basically gaud

WWX would be the biggest-gaudiest-patronuses of the mdzs world

Confusing, abstract posts that are both funny and vaguely ominous??

shitposting for days

“this is an uwu safe space”

But he also dispenses really good advice to his followers and genuinely makes them feel better about themselves

also he would 100% eat a whole-ass box of crayons on livestream

This is while he’s sharing a flat with Jiang Cheng in college so JC is just sat on the couch with him, staring into the void as his brother eats crayons

He tags JC in e v e r y t h i n g

*photo of a rock* this is you *anatomical drawing of a bird* ha you *description of lichen* you on mondays lmao

After he starts dating Lan WangJi, endless posts about how much he loves his bae

102% refers to LWJ as “bae” and “boo” exclusively

Posts beautiful drawings of LWJ

Isn’t as active in adulthood but still pops in to antagonize the kids once they get tumblr

Lan WangJi:

Gorgeous calligraphy

Has thousands of followers and 53% of them are WWX on different accounts (he keeps getting blocked)

Not a single reblog to be found

No text, no tags, nothing but photo posts with calligraphy and the occasional painting

Eventually branches out a little and posts audios of himself playing the guqin

“Jiang Cheng listen to this I can’t beLIEVE” “stfu Wei Ying it’s 3am get off tumblr”

When he starts dating WWX he posts a duet of them playing music together. It’s his first video and the first time he tags a post: ‘wangxian’

His followers connect the dots pretty quickly and there is mass hysteria

WWX reblogs it and now his fanbase is screaming too

Each of them gains several thousand followers that day

meanwhile jiang cheng is sitting with his much smaller list of followers watching this and internally screaming

Jiang Cheng:

Everything is purple

Tried to delete his account 13 years ago but couldn’t bring himself to

He didn’t even want to get tumblr in the first place but WWX talked him into it and then he got addicted

His username is sandu-shengshou and WWX teases him about it constantly

“Wow, so edgy~” “it’S CULTURALLY RELEVANT”

Started out as an anti-WWX blog

“this is an uwu free zone”

His header has been “wei ying sucks” since he was 12 and will remain that way until he dies

Eventually he started including general complaints about life along with his many complaints about WWX

Known for his sarcasm and saltiness

Has a infinitely long queue filled with posts about “that one asshole from maths” and “this douchecanoe I met at the supermarket today”

Individual tags dedicated to WWX and JZX (he always saves the most creative insults for WWX)

He barely uses his blog now but the queue is still going

From time to time he still adds to it

Has exactly 714 followers and 1/4 of them are porn bots

Now he mostly uses tumblr to stalk Jin Ling

Jin Ling:

Archery and horses

Picture a hybrid of Student Athlete and Horse Girl

idk i just think if jin ling ever met a horse he would love them

Half of his posts are chain arguments with JingYi

Posts tips on archery and sword fighting techniques

Reblogs other blogs’ advice and corrects everything that’s wrong with it

Gets blocked by all other archery blogs

Works part-time at a centre for horse riding lessons and posts stories about the horses there

He didn’t have any followers at first because the blogs that he corrected made a big fuss about him, but some curious people went to check him about and realized that he actually really knows his shit

Then they read his posts about horses and realized that he’s actually very sweet under the prickly and snobbish exterior, and now he’s got a fanbase

One time he accidentally reblogged from JC and then hid at JingYi’s house for three days out of pure embarrassment

He inherited a sword from his father’s family and named his blog after it

He knows that JC stalks his blog to keep tabs on him but he doesn’t say anything because sometimes people send him asks about how his advice really helped them and he lowkey wants JC to see that and be proud of him

Lan JingYi:

Reblogging memes, all day every day

You get to his blog, the icon is screaming seagull, the header is a collage of spongebob memes, the first post is related to the simpsons probably

A few wacky conspiracy theories sprinkled into the mix, no one can tell whether he really believes them

But if you scroll for a while, you’ll start to notice breaks in the pattern

Little aesthetic collages and edits made by JingYi himself

Stuff like the various seasons of Gusu, the mood of a night hunt with SiZhui, Jin Ling, and Zizhen, the atmosphere of Lotus Pier and Koi Tower and all the other sects he gets to visit

Aesthetic boards for his friends, his mentors - there’s even one for Lan Qiren and it’s full out mountains, calligraphy pens, grey clouds, and that lemon guy who says “uNAcEPTtABLe”

And if you look really, really closely, you’ll find that amongst the collages and the edits and even the memes… he’s managed to hide every. single. lan sect rule.

All 4000 of them. Hidden amongst memes, shitposts, and mood boards.

Lan Qiren finds out and doesn’t know whether to facepalm or be impressed

Ouyang ZiZhen:

Book reviews and recommendations

Header is an edit of books against a rainy window (JingYi made it for him)

Tags the other kids in all the most wholesome posts

People discover him from reblogs on the other kids’ blogs and then follow him because of his tags

ZiZhen is That Person who chats in the tags

Half of his posts are in the tags, almost like he’s shy to have all of it out on display

He gives recommendations for books based on specific seasons, moods, themes, etc

Someone sends him an ask one day to ask for a themed rec list and he screams, he’s buzzing about it for weeks, he goes all out and researches the shit out of his library to give the anon the best book list possible

After that he gets lots more asks and it makes him happy to provide other people with good books

Is a mutual with every single one of his followers and loves all of them

Lan SiZhui:

Everything is soft and blue

He was raised by WWX and later on by LWJ as well so the day he joined tumblr was a Historic Moment for the wangxian fanbase

There are bets down about whether he’ll be a shitposting blog like his Meme Dad or an art blog like his Mature Dad (or both??)

In the end he turns out to be an advice/suggestions blog

Every day he posts a wholesome suggestion and responds to anyone looking for advice

His followers: came for the wangxian lovechild stayed for the emotional healing

A lot of his advice asks are just JingYi and Jin Ling complaining about each other on anon

Sometimes he posts a short audio or video for a message he feels should be spoken

Now people keep requesting him to do asmr (JingYi laughs hysterically and tells him to do it) (he doesn’t)

Always promotes his friends’ blogs and encourages his followers to visit their blogs

His whole blog is just super wholesome and nice. WWX and LWJ are so proud.

#I've been thinking about Tumblr a lot every since I deLETED MY BLOG #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #gdc #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #founder of diabolism #wei ying #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #lan wangji #wangxian #lan jingyi #jin ling #lan sizhui #ouyang zizhen #modern mdzs #mdzs modern au #yunmeng duo #yunmengjiang duo

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imdoingthismspaintadventure · 5 years

Text

Worm 2.2 - In which we browse a superhero forum

The run had helped to wake me up, as did the hot shower and a cup of the coffee my dad had left in the pot. Even so, the fatigue didn’t help the feeling of disorientation over just how normal the day seemed as I made my way to school. Just a matter of hours ago, I had been in a life and death fight, I had even met Armsmaster. Now it was a day like any other.

Yeah, I’d be suprised if you pay any attention to anything they teach at school today. The feeling of coming back to normality and routine after that must be something else

I felt a bit nervous as I got to homeroom. Having basically skipped two classes the previous Friday, failing to turn in a major assignment, I figured that Mrs. Knott probably knew already. I didn’t feel relieved when Mrs. Knott glanced up at me and gave a tight smile before turning her attention back to her computer. That just meant the humiliation would be redoubled if and when class was interrupted by someone coming down from the office. A part of me just wanted to miss this class too, just to avoid the potential humiliation and avoid drawing attention.

Ugh, falling out of schedule and/or failing classes because of the bullying is rough as hell. Keeping your grades acceptable can be used as escapism from your own thoughts in these kinds of situations and if that starts falling apart too... what’s keeping you in school at all?

If you start missing classes it can quickly slowball into full-on not attending class at all.

All in all, I felt anxious as I made my way to my computer, which kind of sucked because Computer class was one of the few parts of the school day I didn’t usually dread. For one thing, it was the one class in which I was doing well. More to the point, neither Madison, Sophia nor Emma were in this class, though some of their friends were. Those girls didn’t usually feel the need to harass me without the trio around, and I was further removed from them because I was in the advanced stream of the class. A good three quarters of the people in the room were computer illiterate, being from families that didn’t have the money for computers or families that didn’t have much interest in the things, so they practiced typing without looking at the keyboard and had lessons in using search engines. By contrast, I was in the group that was learning some basic programming and spreadsheets. It didn’t do a lot for my already geeky reputation, but I could deal.

Oh interesting that Taylor’s favourite class is Computer Science! I am studying to be a Software Engineer myself! Nice!

It’s good that those three aren’t in every class, so you at least get some moments of respite from their bullshit. That’s good.

We never had the basic kind of keyboard-training classes and all that. Is computer science taught early in America? Here we basically don’t learn anything until we are like 16 or 17 at the very least.

Mrs. Knott was an alright teacher, if not the most hands on; she was usually content to give us advanced students an in-class assignment and then focus on the more rambunctious majority for the rest of the class. This suited me just fine – I usually wrapped up the assignment in a half hour, leaving me an hour to use as I saw fit. I had been recalling and going over the events of the previous night during my morning run, and the first thing that I did when the ancient desktop finished its agonizing load process was to start digging for information.

Lucky you! Assignments stress me out a lot, generally. I wish I could just do them easy-peasy like that. Although I suspect Taylor’s are much simpler, just because of her age and school education vs college.

The go-to place for news and discussion on capes was Parahumans Online. The front page had constant updates on recent, international news featuring capes. From there, I could go to the wiki, where there was information on individual capes, groups and events, or to the message boards, which broke down into nearly a hundred sub-boards, for specific cities and capes. I opened the wiki in one tab, then found and opened the message board for Brockton Bay in another.

Ok I love this. I love this a lot.

This is one of the most realistic things the serial has done so far. Also one of the most fun. If superheroes were real, you bet your ass there would be forums about them, probably more than one. With hourly threads and a lot of speculation and debate.

I imagine there would be like a serious one with strict rules for talking about world events relating to capes, like if it was the news. Cause they aren’t just a tv show or a videogame, they have a real impact in the daily lives of people everywhere.

There would also be whole fanclubs or communities for each super-group and for each city/country, where they talk about the popularity, newcomers, fights, etc...

I can also see entire pages dedicated to romantic relationships or rumors, fanarts, conspiracies, versus battles (who would win?) etc....

Basically, supers being real would absolutely reshape the whole internet forever.

I had the sense that either Tattletale or Grue were the leader of the group I had run into. Turning my attention to Tattletale, I searched the wiki. The result I got was disappointingly short, starting with a header reading “This article is a stub. Be a hero and help us expand it.” There was a one sentence blurb on how she was a alleged villain active in Brockton Bay, with a single blurry picture. The only new information for me was that her costume was lavender. A search of the message boards turned up absolutely nothing. There wasn’t even a hint as to what her power was.

Grue seemed the one calling the shots, but I could also see Tattletale as a short of “shadow leader” type, yeah...

Tattletale has almost nothing about her in her page! That’s very interesting. So she’s very secretive or at least good at hiding information about herself...

Heh, ironic that the Tattletale is the one who keeps secrets. I like the name she picked.

I looked up Grue. There was actually information about him, but nothing detailed or definitive. The wiki stated he had been active for nearly three years, dealing in petty crimes such as robbing small stores and doing some work as an enforcer for those who wanted a little superpowered muscle along for a job. Recently, he had turned to higher scale crime, including corporate theft and robbing a casino, together with his new team. His power was listed as darkness generation in the sidebar under his picture. The picture seemed crisp enough, but the focus of it, Grue, was just a blurry black silhouette in the center.

So Grue is an experienced criminal! Somewhat at least. Three years of experience is certainly better than one night!

He was doing low-level crimes until recently, when he adquired his new team, and they seem to be doing big heists now! How did Grue find the others? Seems like a pretty big increase in notoriety and strength in a short time!

Darkness generation....that could potentially be very cool. I wonder if it can be used offensively, like fire with Lung. I always imagine the darkness element (when used as blasts the same way they use fire, in some media) to feel like being devoured by some parasite, like if darkness ravages and devours you. Light on the other hand just scours and obliterates everything it touches. At least those are my headcanons for the more esoteric elements.

I searched for Bitch, next. No results. I did another search for her more official title, Hellhound, and got a wealth of information. Rachel Lindt had never made any real attempt to hide her identity. She had apparently been homeless through most of her criminal career, just living on the streets and moving on whenever police or a cape came after her. The sightings and encounters with the homeless girl ended around a year ago – I figured that was when she joined forces with Grue, Tattletale and Regent. The picture in the sidebar was taken from surveillance camera footage – an unmasked, dark haired girl who I wouldn’t have called pretty. She had a squarish, blunt-featured face with thick eyebrows. She was riding atop one of her monstrous ‘dogs’ like a jockey rides a horse, down the middle lane of a street.

Huh, so Bitch, or Rachel, had never had a secret identity or a secret life! Seems like her cape and normal life are one and the same! She was homeless and running from one place to another, along with her giant eldritch dogs.

I assume they took her into the group and she prefers it to being alone and without a place to be.

According to the wiki entry, her powers manifested when she was fourteen, followed almost immediately by her demolishing the foster home she had been living in, injuring her foster mother and two other foster children in the process. This was followed by a two year series of skirmishes and retreats across Maine as various heroes and teams tried to apprehend her, and she either defeated them or successfully evaded capture. She had no powers that would have made her any stronger or faster than the average Jane, but she was apparently able to turn ordinary dogs into the creatures I had seen on the rooftop. Monsters the size of a car, all muscle, bone, fang and claw. A red box near the bottom of the page read, “Rachel Lindt has a public identity, but is known to be particularly hostile, antisocial and violent. If recognized, do not approach or provoke. Leave the area and notify authorities as to her last known location.” At the very bottom of the page was a list of links that were related to her: two fansites and a news article relating to her early activities. A search of the message boards turned up too many results, leaving me unable to sift through the crap, the arguments, the speculation and the villain worship to find any genuine morsels of information. If nothing else, she was notorious. I sighed and moved on, making a mental note to do more investigation when I had the time.

Damn, can she control her powers all that well? Or at least, at that time? Cause that sounds to me like the type of situation where her newly-found powers go out of control and cause problems.

She had a foster-home, but then had to run away from the people she hurt ,the authorities, heroes and everyone! And she lived two years like that! No wonder she is antisocial now, jesus.

Also she can apparently turn any dog into those boney creatures of death. Wow. Depending on where she is, she could be incredibly powerful in a fight!

She also seems to be the most famous one so far, having even online admirers and fansites about her exploits. Interesting. She seems to be dangerous though, as she is said to be violent to everyone she meets.

The last member of the group was Regent. Given what Armsmaster had said about the guy being low profile, I didn’t expect to find much. I was surprised to find less than that. Nothing. My search on the wiki turned up only a default response, “There are no results matching this query. 32 unique IP addresses have searched the Parahumans.net Wiki for ‘Regent’ in 2011. Would you like to create the page?” The message board didn’t turn up anything else. I even did a search for alternate spellings of his name, such as Regence and Recant, in case I had heard it wrong. Nothing turned up.

Woah, if Tattletale had little to no information, this guy is straight-up a nonentity! Absolutely hidden from the public eye!

We don’t even know his powers, story or place within the group. How fascinating.

If my mood had been on the sour side as I got to homeroom, the dead ends only made it worse. I turned my attention to the in-class assignment, making a working calculator in Visual Basic, but it was too trivial to distract me. The work from Thursday and Friday had already given us the tools to do the job, so it was really just busywork. I didn’t mind learning stuff, but work for the sake of doing work was annoying. I did the bare minimum, checked it for any bugs, moved the file to the ‘completed work’ folder and returned to surfing the web. All in all, the work barely took fifteen minutes.

You at least get experience and speed in doing these kinds of things! And calculators can be fun to program!

Also yeah, having nothing to do and being able to use the internet the rest of the class is pretty sweet!

I looked up Lung on the wiki, which I had done often enough before, as part of my research and preparation for being a superhero. I’d wanted to be sure I knew who prominent local villains were and what they could do. The search for ‘Lung’ redirected to a catch-all page on his gang, the ABB, with quite a bit of detailed information. The information on Lung’s powers was pretty in line with my own experience, though there was no mention of the super-hearing or him being fireproof. I debated adding it, but decided against it. There were security concerns with my submission being tracked back to Winslow High, and then to me. I figured it would probably be deleted as unsupported speculation, anyways.

They are really underselling Lung huh. No wonder Taylor was suprised about how OP he could be! And yeah better not to edit anything in a trackable device, or without any solid source for that matter.

The section beneath the description of Lung and his powers covered his subordinates. He was estimated to have forty or fifty thugs working for him across Brockton Bay, largely drawn from the ranks of Asian youth. It was pretty unconventional for a gang to include members of the variety of nationalities that the ABB did, but Lung had made it a mission to conquer and absorb every gang with Asian members and many without. Once he had the manpower he needed, the non-Asian gangs were cannibalized for assets, their members discarded. Even though there were no more major gangs in the east end of town to absorb, he was still recruiting zealously. His method, now, was to go after anyone older than twelve and younger than sixty. It didn’t matter if you were a gang member or not. If you were Asian and you lived in Brockton Bay, Lung and his people expected you to either join or to pay tribute one way or another. There had been local news reports on it, newspaper articles, and I could remember seeing signs in the guidance counselor’s office detailing where people who were targeted in this way could go for help.

He seemed to want to grow quickly by recruiting every asian person in Brockton Bay, cape or not! And if you were Asian, you would have heard of his band and their threats or extortion.

You are partly responsible for the capture of one mayor threat to the safety of the citizens of Brockton Bay. You did great last night, Taylor!

Lung’s lieutenants were listed as Oni Lee and Bakuda. I already had some general knowledge about Oni Lee, but I was intrigued to see there were recent updates to his wiki entry. There were specific details on his powers: He could teleport, but when he did so, he didn’t disappear. As he teleported, his original self, for lack of a better term, would stay where it was and remain active for five to ten seconds before disintegrating into a cloud of carbon ash. Essentially, he could create another version of himself anywhere nearby, while the old version could stick around long enough to distract or attack you. If that wasn’t scary enough, there was an report of him holding a grenade in his hand as he repeatedly duplicated himself, with his short lived duplicates acting as suicide bombers. Topping it all off, Oni Lee’s wiki page had a similar red warning box to the one that Bitch/Hellhound had on hers, minus the bit about his public identity. From what they knew about him, authorities had seen fit to note him a sociopath. The warning covered the same essential elements: exceedingly violent, dangerous to approach, should not be provoked, and so on. I glanced at his picture. His costume consisted of a black bodysuit with a black bandoleer and belt for his knives, guns and grenades. The only color on him was an ornate Japanese-style demon mask, crimson with two green stripes down either side. Except for the mask, his costume gave off the distinct impression of a ninja, which just added weight to the notion that this was a guy who could and would slide a knife between your ribs.

Oni Lee sounds like a mayor fucking threat! The ability to teleport-shadow clone yourself multiple times to get to a thousand places quickly AND leave behind copies who could stab, shoot you or even blow themselves up seems really really dangerous.

And he’s a sociopath to boot! You were lucky he wasn’t there last night, he could have probably just teleported to the roof and knifed you.

Bakuda was a new entry, added to the ABB wiki page just ten days ago. The picture only showed her from the shoulders up, a girl with straight black hair, large opaque goggles over her eyes and a metal mask with a gas mask styled filter covering the lower half of her face. A braided cord of black, yellow and green wires looped over one of her shoulders. I couldn’t pinpoint her ethnicity with the mask and goggles, and her age wasn’t any easier to figure out.

This was the bomb expert, right?

She looks menacing with that setup, which is probably true! Her powers also sounds really worrying!

The wiki had a lot of the same details Armsmaster had mentioned to me. Bakuda had essentially held a university ransom and she did it with her superhuman ability to design and fabricate high tech bombs. There was a link to a video titled ‘Bomb Threat @ Cornell’, but I didn’t think it wise to play it in school, especially without headphones. I made a mental note to check it out when I got home.

Damn, she was basically a domestic terrorist back then!

It’s probably not a good idea to play a bomb threat at a school IN a school, you’re right.

The next thing that caught my eye was the section heading titled ‘Defeats and Captures’. I scrolled down to read it. According to the wiki, Lung had apparently suffered a number of minor defeats at the hands of various teams, ranging from the Guild to the local teams of New Wave, the Wards and the Protectorate, but consistently managed to evade capture until last night. A blurb read, ‘ Armsmaster successfully ambushed and defeated the leader of the ABB, who was weakened from a recent encounter with a rival gang. Lung was taken to the PHQ for holding until the villain’s trial by teleconference. Given Lung’s extensive and well documented criminal history, it is expected he will face imprisonment in the Birdcage should he be found guilty at trial.’

Huh, so he WAS bested before! Just not captured! He always evaded prison, until now thanks to Taylor and co.!

Or thanks only to Armsmaster, according to the official story, which to be fair, is what they agreed upon.

The birdcage? What is that, some sort of super-prison like The Raft, Blackgate, Impel Down in One Piece...

Is that place safe? Cause prisons and jail breaks are pretty synonymous in comics

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I wasn’t sure what to think. By all rights, I should have been angry that Armsmaster took the credit for the fight that could have cost me my life. Instead, I felt a building excitement. I felt like shaking the shoulder of the guy sitting next to me and point to the screen, saying, “Me, I made that possible! Me!”

Hehe. Excited and happy Taylor is just the best.

With a renewed enthusiasm, I switched tabs to the message board and began looking to see what people were saying about it. A post by a fan or minion of Lung threatened violence against Armsmaster. There was a request by someone asking for more information on the fight. I was given pause by one post that asked whether Bakuda could or would use a large scale bomb and the threat of potentially thousands or hundreds of thousands dead, to ransom Lung back.

Eeash, seems Arms was right about the consequences of this!

That Bakuda threat is really scary

I tried to put that out of my mind. If it happened, it would be the responsibility of heroes better and more experienced than I.

True, you can’t carry everything on your shoulders.

It struck me that there was one person I hadn’t looked for. Myself. I opened up the advanced search page for the Parahumans.net message board and did a search for multiple terms. I included insect, spider, swarm, bug, plague, and a mess of other terms that had struck me when I had been trying to brainstorm a good hero name. I narrowed the timeframe of posts to search for posts made within the past 12 hours and hit Search.

Huh, I don’t think you would find that much honestly. I mean, fight aside, you were pretty stealthy on your way in, and the only people who directly met you are the fire dragon currently going to jail, a couple of mooks without their boss, a group of very cryptic teenage villains and the superhero who was going to keep you hidden sooo yeah.

Also kinda hard to search for yourself without having decided on a name yet!

My efforts turned up two posts. One referred to a villain called Pestilence, active in the UK. Apparently Pestilence was one of the people who could use ‘magic’. That is, he was if you believed magic was real, and not just some convoluted or deluded interpretation of a given set of powers.

Pestilence sounds awesome as an insect-power name. One of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse!

Huh, so there are powers that seem more “magical” and others that are more “technological”. Nice.

The second post was in the ‘Connections’ section of the message board, where rescued damsels left their contact information for their dashing heroes, where conventions and fan gatherings were organized and where people posted job offers for capes and the cape-obsessed. Most were cryptic or vague, referring to stuff only the people in question would know.

That is a nice system to have, to contact people anonymously.

The message was titled, simply, “Bug”

Well damn, seems someone did notice you

I clicked it and waited impatiently for the outdated system and overloaded school modem to load up the page. What I got was brief.

Subject: Bug

Owe you one. Would like to repay the favor. Meet?

Send a message,

Tt.

IT’S TATTLETALE.

IT’S THE TEENAGE VILLAINS REACHING OUT TO HER AFTER THE LAST FIGHT.

This opens up so many possibilites oh my god

The post was followed by two pages of people commenting. Three people suggested it was something important, while a half dozen more people decried them as tinfoil hats, Parahumans.net’s term for conspiracy theorists.

Hah! I imagine a message like that would cause speculation even in OUR reality! Considering Taylor’s the protag, those tinfoil hats may be on to something there...

It was meaningful, though. I couldn’t interpret it any other way; Tattletale had found a way to get in contact with me.

She sure has!

So now both Arms and Tattletale have contacted her, both with offers maybe! Damn, she sure got popular after that one night!

Oh, oooh

What if they offer her to join them?

And what if she accepts?

Oh god the story could go in a wildly different direction now. I hadn’t even considered that in my list of possibilities!

It seems at odd with her desire to be a hero, so maybe not.... But what if?

I’m liking where this is going.

#Worm #worm liveblog #worm parahumans #parahumans liveblog #wildbow #Worm 2.2 #arc 2

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terrencehq · 4 years

Text

[ALEX FITZALAN, CISMALE, HE/HIM] have you seen TERRENCE BRADDOCK-KENNEDY around sedona? TERRENCE is a CRIMINAL JUSTICE MAJOR AT SCC, but they're also THE LEADER in the sedona sleuths, so you've probably seen them around the firehouse shed. they're known for being ADVENTUROUS and CHARMING, but they're also known to be NAIVE and IMMATURE. when they're not at the shed, i can usually find them at JENNY'S. i can always recognize them by their (high school yearbook filled to the brim with signatures, conspiracy board with red yarn, old photos hung up that refuse to be taken down, bag that's never been cleaned out, shouting loudly about demons in the local diner).

[ THE LEADER: This role is the glue of the group, the one who holds everything together. They’re probably the planner and organizer, and the one to say, “Let’s split up!” Their role has emerged naturally over time. ]

STATS

Name: Terrence Braddock-Kennedy

Age: 21

Gender: Cismale

Pronouns: He/him

Sexuality: Pansexual

Personality Type: ENFJ

SCC Major: Criminal Justice

Jenny’s Diner Order: Cheeseburger deluxe w/ waffle fries and a rootbeer float

Similar characters: Fred Jones, Jake Peralta, Steve Harrington, Dipper Pines, Michael Kelso, Fox Mulder

ABOUT

FULL BIO CAN BE FOUND HERE

Terrence’s grandfather, Stan, is the town crazy dude who has this weird cabin in the woods and believes in Moth Man. He’s a survivalist though, so his mom, Reggie, ended up being super into outdoorsy stuff. She’s now the local park ranger and will take people on hikes.

Reggie met Terrence’s other mom, Gemma (who is the local high school drama teacher), and they fell in love. Kansas ain’t that cool with lesbians though so they hadda go through some shit. They eventually adopted Terrence and his younger sister Ava & now they’re a happy family!

Terrence loved hearing conspiracy stuff and scary stories from his grandfather and his mom. He started loving mysteries because of it and started helping people around town with small tasks and unsolved things. He was super charming so everyone liked him as long as no one brought up his weird family or two moms.

He’s super nice to everyone and is always willing to help with anything. He’d drop whatever he was doing to lend a hand.

Eventually helped form the Sedona Sleuths and was deemed The Leader. He’s always coming up with the big plans and helping to keep everyone from killing each other. He loves his friends a lot and would legit die for any of them.

He can kind of be selfish and immature sometimes though without realizing it. He means well always it’s just that he’s a dumb boy.

Is going to SCC for criminal justice and wants to become a police officer or detective one day. He basically wants Grimley’s job and doesn’t plan on ever leaving town.

Whenever anyone in the group implies that they’re leaving after graduation he gets super angry about it. The idea of the group breaking up is one of his biggest fears. Terrence is afraid one day everyone is going to go away and he’s going to be the only one left.

HEADCANONS

His sister, Ava, is 16 and goes to the local high school. They’re super close and if anything ever happened to her he’s lose it.

Even though Terrence is adopted, he says he doesn’t really care about finding out who his real parents are. In reality though, he’s just afraid to find out. Change is something he doesn’t like and the idea of his world turning upside scares him.

He’s closest with his mom Reggie. They go hiking and camping together every weekend that it’s nice out. Ava is closer to Gemma, but the whole family gets along equally.

Stan Braddock is NUTS but Terrence loves his grandpa. He thinks he’s the coolest person in town. One time he tried to teach Terrence how to hunt though until they both gave up and just decided to go back to his cabin and eat baked beans.

Terrence is totally against dating within the group and will give people a hard time for it. His motto is “don’t shit where you eat.”

He carries a backpack around with him that he’s arguably had since 8th grade. it’s so worn out and the group is convinced he’s never cleaned it out. He’s never seen without that or his field journal.

Terrence’s room is covered with newspaper clippings about their cases, a cork board where he puts his latest conspiracy theory down, and a shit ton of polaroids of him and his friends.

In high school he ran track and got a scholarship to a pretty good university away from town, but turned it down. Everyone thought he was insane for doing it and his coach beat the shit out of him with his clipboard when he heard he didn’t take the offer to go to SCC.

His mom made him do the school plays in high school so he probably roped others in the group into doing it with him.

He drives a really nice car and it’s like the only thing he ever keeps clean.

Literally never sleeps. You can always find him at Jenny’s at like 3am drinking a milkshake and flipping through their latest case.

CONNECTIONS

ROMANTIC

ONE NIGHT STAND: Terrence is always preaching not to have relationships inside the group, which is why he had a full fledged freak out when he woke up hungover and naked next to this person. They’ve only hooked up once, but it was really fun. Terrence makes them swear to keep it a secret though for the sake of his credibility.

CRUSH: They grew up super close and are maybe even neighbors. Terrence constantly snuck over to their house in the middle of the night to hangout and talk on their roof. Terrence has a crush on them, and maybe they also feel the same way, but Terrence has made it clear that dating within the group can only go wrong. He hides his feelings for them, but he’s constantly laying awake at night thinking about them and there’s been a plethora of paragraph texts he’s sent to his confidant about how shiny their hair is. (taken by KARA)

CLUELESS CRUSH: The boy tends to unintentionally flirt with everyone so it’d not be a surprise if he accidentally caused someone in the group to develop a crush on him. He’d be really clueless that this person likes him and just assumes they’re really close friends. (taken by MILO)

FRIENDSHIP

BROS FOR LIFE: Typical bromance where they’re obnoxiously close. They’re unbashfully affectionate and people in the group probably had theories they might have been secretly dating at one point. They likely call each other “bro” and “babe” all these time & Terrence definitely has made them friendship bracelets. If they ever take them off then you know it’s a serious argument.

THE UNOFFICIAL 5TH BRADDOCK-KENNEDY MEMBER: Maybe someone with a bad family situation that would always come over to The Braddock-Kennedy house growing up? His moms are really cool and they’re all for taking kids when they’re in need. Terrence definitely tried to kick the shit out of whoever was making them show up to his house in tears a few times, but they talked him out of it. (taken by ELISE and DREW)

CHAOTIC STUPID: These two are responsible and okay by themselves, but when you put them together it’s pure chaotic energy. They probably go along with Terrence’s occasional not-so-smart plans while everyone else is screaming at them to not. The group can’t let them sit together anywhere or else the two won’t get any work done. Terrence refers to them as his second in command. (taken by NICK)

PINKY AND THE BRAIN: Terrence is kind of a himbo at times so I’d love him to have a best friend/ close friend that recognizes he’s an idiot, but loves him anyway. He makes them absolutely bonkers and roll their eyes constantly. They can drag him all they want, but as soon as someone else says shit about him then they’re swingin’. (taken by LEO)

CONFIDANT: Terrence goes to them for everything. They somehow have been cursed with receiving his 3am phone calls about his latest case breakthroughs, conspiracies, or about the person he has feelings for. They always take his calls anyway and know all his secrets. Terrence trusts all his friends but something about them makes him run to them first. (taken by NADINE)

NEGATIVE

COCKBLOCK: Two people that had/have strong feelings for each other and either dated or almost dated that Terrence completely WIGGED OUT on when he found out. He made the whole thing super dramatic and guilted them both into breaking up or to not pursue each other. There’s still some bad blood there that might eventually come to a head. This can also be added on to another connection.

TOXIC FRIENDSHIP: Someone that has expressed leaving Sedona after graduation and Terrence is NOT happy about it. They’re super close and Terrence absolutely makes it clear that he’d pull an immature move and not talk to them ever again if they leave. Whenever the subject is brought up Terrence suddenly gets really angry, but he doesn’t realize how toxic he’s really being. He means well, he’s just immature. This can also be added on to another connection.

RIVALS: Terrence doesn’t have a lot of people that dislike him, but these two can’t seem to stop fighting. The guy doesn’t NOT like the other though. In fact, he kind of finds their bickering endearing (even if they do question his authority constantly). Terrence will sometimes pick fights with them when he’s bored and some people in their group are even convinced it’s flirting. Terrence claims they’re frenemies, the other other claims he’s a pain in the ass, and the Sleuths all have a pool to when they’re both going to finally just make out. (taken by MAXINE)

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hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger · 5 years

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Spider-Geddon #5 Thoughts

Very mixed feelings.

This issue is a difficult one to talk about, partially because there was simply SO MUCH in it and each piece has its own pros and cons. As such this is going to be a bit on the piecemeal side of things.

Let me get a general criticism out of the way. The constantly changing artists was very noticeable. However on the flipside each of the artists participating were very very good. So the art wasn’t consistent but it all looked lovely.

Additionally there was a fun sense of bombast and action to the comic book, it was everything and the kitchen sink but in a good way.

I also appreciate that Gage (and yes I’m 99% sure all of these were Gage) in a sense apologized for aspects of Spider-Verse Chief among them was the resurrection of MC2 Peter Parker, righting a wrong that should NEVER HAVE HAPPENED!!!!!!!!! But we also have the Engima Force being useful as compared to Spider-Verse where it was stupidly ineffective in a cheap attempt to build up Solus. Gage does a deft job of not exactly contradicting that but at the same time showcasing Captain Universe as a power player.

Now let’s talk about individual aspects of the book.

As I said the Captain Universe element was appreciated. I also liked that the Enigma Force didn’t automatically confer Miles as worthy which is appreciated as for several years now stories, creators and fans alike have been worshipping at his feet, often at the expense of Peter. Here Miles got the Enigma Force but only after talking it round and was conscious about doing something to render himself unworthy, whereas Peter was simply always worthy. It is also a great way to let Miles shine in a series which exists to promote/benefit from his movie at the time and which was supposed to be his vehicle first and foremost. On the flipside though the Enigma force being wary of the Spiders as unworthy because they let some people die is illogical. 616 Peter had made similar or more mistakes but was still worthy. Additionally Miles asking what worthy even means came off as Gage throwing some shade somehow. Finally I have mixed feelings on the Venom blast being as powerful as it was against Solus. On the one hand it’s the Venom blast again being a cheap OP ability Miles has but on the other hand even if it was toned down to be very reasonable the Enigma Force probably would amp it up and it wasn’t like it won the day. Over all this element of the story worked more than it failed.

What about Ben Reilly? Well again I think this was Gage apologizing for Clone Conspiracy, though this is rather strange. Ben throughout the story seemed normal enough so what does ‘factory settings’ mean exactly? I guess the idea is that Ben is now...redeemed? Maybe? It’s very under developed and more problematically there is little acknowledgment of his and Peter’s relationship when that should be a big deal if they meet face to face. This is the first time they have seen one another since Clone Conspiracy after all. I get this isn’t a Peter centric event but then don’t have them meet up.

Speaking of Peter, I didn’t like how it was Gwen leading the charge instead of him. Whilst the letter’s pages claim this event was to highlight non-Peter Spider Heroes the event really wasn’t about Gwen. She disappeared by issue #2, so if she gets prestige via her tie-in books shouldn’t Peter too? More prestige in fact given how he both beat the main villain of the original story (for the third time) and you know...is the real Spider-Man? Speaking of which the shot of the NINE Spider-Heroes from Earth 616 really just said it all to me. There are too many in the same universe and it is ridiculous. Especially when you consider Venom, Madame Web, Doppelganger and other probable candidates were excluded. I mean as of this writing we know 2099 is coming back to the present and Spider-Gwen will be coming to 616 too!

Of those 616 Spider-Heroes Spider-Man 2099 and Silk were present...where the fuck were they during the rest of this story. Silk maybe had a line or two, 2099 I don’t recall right now seeing him before this damn issue? Oh well, at least they addressed Kaine’s fate and made it clear he was still on Earth 616.

Keeping with Earth 616 lets talk about Otto. Think issue was consistent in basically kissing his ass. He was the main driver for the resolution to the story, he came up with the plan to fix everything and dammit it was a good plan; as was tricking Jennix. I hate saying that because Superior is a colossal douchebag of a character and I don’t care what happened here or in ASM #800, Peter shouldn’t give him free reign. He joined fucking HYDRA!

However I must admit I did enjoy his interactions with the Gamerverse Spider-Man as it bookended the event rather nicely going back to issue #0.

Before I move onto more interesting characters we must address very briefly Spider-Gwen. The origin of her new codename was eye roll worthy and the brief dialogue saying she can transverse dimensions now was out of nowhere. It was underexplained for someone like me who was not reading her tie-in series, and frankly I shouldn’t HAVE to read a tie in to get pertinent information when I’ve already paid $5.00. That’s about it.

Let’s talk briefly about the Spider-Girls. I’ve already lauded MC2 Peter’s return, but it was also nice to see Mayday get a lick in on Daemos. Too bad it was for exactly one goddam panel. We got more resolution from her fighting an illusion Daemos in the Spider Island mini-series! The Spider-Girls basically going all Morphin Time was cheesy and yet I loved it. However it was yet more BS dues ex machina crap from the end of Spider-Girls. It makes me hate the ending of that series even more now, especially since it amounted to so little here. However I did like the over all dynamics with the RYV crew and Mayday, what little there was in the story.

Now let’s talk about the Inheritors. They also represent a mixed bag. They continued to be aggressively bland characters right up until the end, but their ultimate defeat was a good compromise to beating them without killing them. That being said I appreciated that Gage had characters acknowledge how wrong it felt to be in the act seemingly killing them. Speaking of that resolution it was perhaps the biggest mixed bag of the whole issue.

On the one hand the reveal that the Inheritors never actually had to consume totemetic essences is disgustingly convenient to the point of being contrived and trite. On the other hand though it does wipe every Inheritor off the board with the possible exception of Morlun, allowing the possibility for him as the most famous and ‘popular’ Inheritor to return in future stories if needs be whilst the obviously shitter characters get hand waved out of the series.

Finally Spider-Norman’s plot thread goes completely unresolved. He was seriously underutilized in this story and even his machinations didn’t amount to all that much in the story. It’s just set up for something else, and I pray that something else is just a storyline in Superior Spider-Man and not another goddam event, let alone Spider-Verse 3.

Over all this issue had more I enjoyed than disliked I must admit (maybe that was the lovely looking art though) but the series as a whole was all over the place and mostly bad.

Gee I wonder if that one Ghost-Spider Issue I have left to read will change my over all feelings on this event...

...Regardless I would recommend you give this a read anyway, if for no other reason than the satisfaction of seeing MC2 Peter come back.

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thegrooviestgoblin · 5 years

Text

the sawyers as kids headcanons

BUBBA SAWYER: - as a kid bubba was probably the easiest to take care of, which is not saying much - bubba would cry SO MUCH - did grandpa drop his spoon? well in bubba's mind, grandpAS GONNA STARVE - he was such a dramatic baby and drayton could barely keep up with it - bubba was probably closer to chop that he was with nubbins or drayton - nubbins was too destructive and drayton was too mean - and although chop was an obnoxious idiot, he was easier to approach - chop was super chill and comforted bubba after drayton had gotten out his infamous broomstick - bubba likes putting on makeup, even as a babey - chop would find some of grandmas old makeup and nubbins and chop top would have fun decorating their baby brothers face - eventually bubba would end up being able to do his own though - chop would probably use every single color of eyeshadow grandma had on his face - hed draw like rainbows and whatever - nubbins would be a bit more edgy though - hed try to make himself look like a skeleton, but he looked more like a powdered doughnut with black mold - but back to bubba, hed be that sibling that just watched his older brothers get in trouble - oh chop top wants to push grandpas wheelchair around the house? you bet your buns that bubba is waddling behind that little rat - wait is nubbins licking at the smashed cockroach between the floor boards? well bubba is definitely gonna cheer his older brother on while he poisons himself NUBBINS SAWYER: - nubbins was that kid in your class that always wanted to get in trouble just so that he could argue with the teacher - i mean, he did like doing stupid shit, but he also loved yelling at drayton - nubbins was also the most destructive of the sawyers - hed break any plate he found, drayton had to put locks on the cupboards - but then nubbins would use a baseball bat to smash the whole damn cupboard so plan failed i guess - he also probably snuck out of the house at least 100 times - drayton would make him do time out against a wall and then once he looks away nubbins would be running around on the roof - also he probably really liked to be in high places - he and chop would just jump on the roof and kick off shingles as drayton would threaten them with the broomstick, but nubbins would just blow raspberries - nubbins would be jumping on roof and chop top would be laying down looking directly at the sun like "this is so groovy" - bubba would also be calmly sitting down watching his brothers - but anyways, nubbins was also the biggest pain in the ass for drayton - while chop top was also wild, he didnt back talk drayton as much or try to purposefully annoy him as much as his twin - nubbins really likes getting negative attention because hes a little shit - its not even a case of him just being desperate for attention, he just really loves annoying people - he was also very artistic, of course - nubbins would break multiple things like chairs and roof shingles and then steal some roadkill off the road to create "art" - bubba would clap since hes never seen anything so "beautiful" and because hes a supportive brother - chop top would just smile and call his art "super groovy, bro" - but then drayton would come in and be like "what is this horseshit?" CHOP TOP SAWYER: - while bubba was the quietest and nubbins was the most destructive, chop was the loudest - paul would always be "singing" his favorite cher song and drayton would have to use a cloth gag (not in that way, perverts) on his mouth several times - but then chop top would chew through it and start singing again so drayton just gave up on it - even as a child, chop top would be telling his brothers conspiracy theories - nubbins would be interested and immediately believe that drayton was a "lizard person" or some dumb shit - bubba would automatically believe his brother so he would suspiciously eye everything around him, afraid that it would morphe into a fucking lizard - drayton would come in and be like "what bullshit are you telling your brothers?" - and chop top would tell them "dont believe him! hes a lizard!" - so nubbins would charge at drayton, beating his fists against his stomach screaming "BEGONE YOU STINKY LIZARD!" - and bubba would just cry in the corner confused - but back to chop top, he would also cater to bubba a lot - is bubba crying? well dont worry, chop is already tightly hugging his baby brother - did bubba stub his toe against a chair? chop top and nubbins are already beating that chair up! fuck you for hurting our baby brother, you wooden bitch! - chop top is a protective brother, definitely - he will defend bubba against drayton anytime - one time chop top said bubba was "the grooviest little brother ever" and it made bubba cry - they are a group of stinky little rats, but at least they love each other

#chop top sawyer #bubba sawyer #nubbins sawyer #texas chainsaw massacre #drayton sawyer #slasher headcanons #i suck at hashtags

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