#he didnt get to confront his shitty dad... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onwriting-hrarby · 1 year

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hi hera, im rewriting this ask because my internet was slow and i dont know if it was sent thru 😭😭

im so in my feels i’ve been rereading a bit of IDNLUT, and its really so heartbreaking that mikasas dad had the shitty conscious to completely leave his family for another. it aches my heart to read whenever in mikasas pov the pain and insecurities she carried everytime she mentions or is reminded that her dad abandoned their little family for a white woman and their white child.

i feel really bad for mama sakura, the strength in the women under these situations is just insane. her husband didnt just leave her, he abandoned a whole ass child, his own daughter!!

in the fic mikasa is gradually reconciling with her father, and good for her and her peace but i dont know how she does it!! its so hard to wrap my head around characters like john, like hes playing God and just like nothing switching which woman and which child gets to be in the presence of his loving tender father/husband role. like its horrible, personally its unforgivable to me because the children in mikasa role are just left with so much trauma and thats so so unfair because why did their dad choose to hurt them and not the other.

(its so heartbreaking, i really want to hold IDNLUT baby mika)

i was wondering but only if you’re up for it 👉👈 would you be interested in writing a drabble or perhaps explaining a little more in detail:

1. john ackermans pov in the rawest honest form on why he had left his family for another. his desires, his selfishness and his regrets. (im trying to sympathise with him but its so hard 😅)

2. and if, whether he denies it or not, racism or racial preference had a role in his actions. (im asian, so i get it, theres an unfortunate beauty standard engraved in our minds and white women have that privilege)

(also when i think about it, IDNLUT john ackermans and RJ grisha somewhat plays the same role right?)

3. as a white man, does john ackerman acccctuallly understand mikasas insecurities and pain. especially racially, can he see mikasas perspective, does he get that mikasa sees her dad having a racial preference by leaving her asian mom and her for a white woman and her white child. (im just wondering if john actually evaluates the consequences of his actions, and that hes just not feeling bad and thats it lol (maybe i also just want to see the man in pain for the pain he caused his (our) favourite girl 🥺)

4. in this au, would mikasa ever fully lash out at her dad, like a full blownout confrontation or a full conversation where she lays eeeeverything, her hurt her pain her childhood trauma he caused her and her mother, i wonder if she demands answers and if hes able to give her them. (hehe would you ever write this as a drabble? but i would respect it if you dont want to!!)

i loooove this fic, thank you for sharing it with us. and sorry my ask is so long!!

Alright, dear anon, finally I have some time to delve into this. So, what can I say? I saw this ask first on Monday and it completely made my day. Not only to receive such a nice comment, but also from a reread and also from i did not live until today! I always worry my stories are not enough to make people want to reread (which is what I do with things i like a lot) so this anon made my heart flutter.

i'm so glad you pointed out to this flaw in mikasa's character. i got a lot of people who read the fic who didn't like how mikasa treated her dad and how her insecurities affected her life in general, and didn't like mikasa's character very much. i understand this happens because she's not an agreeable character, and we sometimes hate that she's so self-centered, especially towards sakura, because she only wants what's best for her. but people who grief are normally self-centered, so i wanted to delve into that and not make the protagonist be like a heroin. i'm so glad you feel for her and share her pov, really, justifice for mikasa!

you're right that grisha in RJ and john might be alike, but i think the difference in john is that he really fell in love with his new wife, and left the family because of love, and not so much because of prejudice. as you say, prejudice is very much there, although i don't think john is really aware of it—like an unconscious pull—and it's much more of something that mikasa projects. because i always tell everything from mikasa's pov, i play a lot with an unreliable narrator (not that "evident" though).

i don't think parents choose to hurt us purposefully. of course, it would be better for mikasa's health if the parents had stayed together under good circumstances, but when the circumstances are bad, or the love doesn't sweep through, believe me, it's better to divorce (both my boyfriend and me come from divorce parents, and our experience is very different, so i know both outcomes). in the end, growing up makes us realize that parents are their own people—they do not live to serve our wishes. they live to protect us, to make us grow, but we cannot submit them, i believe. when we are parents, we don't transform int just parents. we do not become different from what we were, we don't lose our personality or wishes. some wishes are not compatible with being parents, of course—but love is. and if someone doesn't find love in the parent they have around, we're people, and it's better to be a family if there is love and respect. at least that's what i thought and what i wanted to express!

okay, so onto your questions! i am going to drabble point 1, so let me go straight to the others (i don't know WHEN i'm going to write it, so please, bear with me, i'll upload it!)

2) whether he denies it or not, racism or racial preference had a role in his actions > as i said, i didn't plan john to be aware of it like grisha is. grisha does have inherent racism in it, and some of the decisions are very evident steeping from there. but john is not aware, even, that race might exist. i don't know if that makes sense. grisha would see sakura and see the race, while john doesn't really see it, but he still has a preference for the other because the other is "better". does it make sense? in that sense, john would be equivalent to Eren in RJ when he was a teenager (but without the violence that accompanies Eren). It's as if John had to pick between salad or soup, and he's been always told that salad is better. he doesn't really care about the difference between salad and soup, but he feels slightly pulled towards salad because of the discourse about salad and how good salad is. he also likes soup, but he can't say why he would prefer salad. i think a lot of racism nowadays is like this: people know racism is wrong, and they wouldn't care to be with someone from another race but they are still attracted to white people every time.

3) as a white man, does john ackerman actually understand mikasas insecurities and pain > he doesn't, no! also because a lot of issues from mikasa don't directly come from race, and the ones that do i feel like he might not really understand them because again he doesn't recognize his preference. but he knows that a lot of the issues that mikasa has are because of him leaving, and i remember that at some point they even talk it out! so he does feel guilty towards it.

4. in this au, would mikasa ever fully lash out at her dad, like a full blownout confrontation or a full conversation where she lays everything> oh, i will definitely drive it as a drabble! i will try to mix it with the 1st one. she definitely would. as i said, i think they touch the subject but i don't believe there's a full lash out! i picture mikasa after some years (before she goes to mitras with eren) talking it out with her dad, but calmly. i believe eren allows mikasa to open like a dam, so she knows how to express her feelings. mikasa's growth in IDNLUT i believe is about accepting the feelings and growing communication!

AGAIN i am so so so happy about your ask, and please do NOT hesitate to send me another one with your thoughts on this (if you have any) or if you were reading my work another way! i don't want to influence on your reading as an author, so do not fret if something wasn't as you were thinking: i love that everyone makes my work theirs!

#i did not live until today #eremika #eremika fic #fanfiction #attack on titan #hrarby answers

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cicinicole-14 · 2 years

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here’s a second one

*sing to the tune of family madrigal from encanto*

🎶so many thoughts I think it’s time for a headcanon roundup (headcanon roundup!)🎶

this one specifically came from this tiktok @jobrookekarev sent me

Like okay imagine tho if lunas like 10-12 and she finds like the wedding album tucked away somewhere and the letter is in it too and she reads it and sees like this happy couple and how beautiful her mom looked etc and she like searches on the internet Alex karev and finds then number for the KC hospital so she gets on the phone and asks for Alex and she’s like “you left my mom” and he’s like “excuse me who is this?” “I found the letter you left my mom. She was happy and you left her!” And then she hangs up and Alex is MINDFUCKED and he needs ANSWERS and so he KNOWS whoever that was it was from jo and he thinks maybe jo and him had a kid and so he flies out and goes to GSM and confronts her and Jo’s like wtf are you doing here and he’s like “did you did you have our kid and not tell me?” And jo is like wtf are you talking about and he’s like “i got a call yesterday to the hospital and the kids voice said “you left my mom she was so happy. I found the letter and you left her and so I flew out here” and jo is a little upset w luna but like “no Alex she’s not your child” “she’s not?” “I adopted her” “oh” and then she sees luna walk up and luna spots alex and she’s like “oh crap. Hi?” And jo is like “you called him? We’re gonna have a chat—“ “mom you looked so happy! Those photos the wedding the tear stains on the letter? You haven’t been with ANYONE my entire life he deserved to know he messed up!” And Alex is like standing there and like it’s silent bc this kid isn’t wrong but like everything is a mess. And she just is like “cmon it’s time to go home grab ur backpack.” And Alex is like “can we talk? Jo please?” “Alex i have to take care of my kid” “i leave tomorrow night” “coffee, tomorrow. I drop her at school at 750 I’ll meet you at 8 at the coffee cart” “thank you”

And then she almost tries to skip the cart but he sees her and talks w him and “she’s right y’know? I was happy. I was so happy. Y’know I would’ve gone with you.” (She notices he’s not wearing a ring etc) “I would’ve moved to Kansas with you to be with your kids we could’ve been a family” and Alex is just. Stunned. Bc he fucked up bad. Ofc he knew jo would’ve gone. “You didn’t deserve that. To uproot your life again—“ “I would’ve done it for you! We were married!”

Alex is all like “I messed up big time didnt I?” “You think?” “Jo, I’m sorry” “I don’t regret it tho. I got luna in the process and she’s-she’s the best thing to happen to me. I used to think you were but you left me just like everyone else.” “Being a mom looks good on you. I wish I’d been there to see it” “you could’ve. You could’ve been. You would’ve been her dad to. But you’re a freakin idiot and left without talking to your wife. You just left. You went and had a family without me.”

So Jo’s just hurt. And “why are you still here? Rub in my face how happy you are? Berate me for keeping a kid from you when I didn’t? I would never. Especially with what you went through with the twins. You’re a good dad Alex, even if you’re a shitty husband and person” “i deserved that. I just. I didn’t know and I freaked if I had another kid out there y’know?” “I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t do that to you.” “Thank you. So how much trouble is she in for real? Because she shouldn’t be. It’s my fault for coming out here” “she shouldn’t have been snooping under my bed but I just we just talked last night. She asked a lot of questions.”

*flashback to last night walking in the door w luna*

“So how much trouble am I really in?” She bites her bottom lip nervously.

Jo rubs her hands over her face, still completely blindsided by the things that had happened in the past couple hours.

“Can i just ask why you would call him? A stranger?” “He’s not a stranger—“ “he’s a stranger to you, Luna. You cant just call random people and yell at them on the phone.” “He’s not a random person! He was your husband!”

Jo slumps down on the couch and pats the cushion next to her.

“Before alex, I was married to someone else.” Luna looks up at her mother and sees the nervous look on her face. “He uh, he did some pretty awful things to me, and I had to leave him—“ “now we know where Alex got the idea” luna pipes up sarcastically and jo swallows back her anger. “My ex husband used to beat me, and he almost killed me the last time so I left and changed my name and started a new life in seattle. Alex, Alex was nothing like him. Alex was good. He was patient and kind and a good man. He—“ she’s fighting back tears now and luna leans into her mom’s arms. “He was the love of my life until I met you.”

“What about the other guy? Is he going—“ “he’s dead.” Jo deadpans, shutting down any of lunas fears that Paul could come back. “But he’s why you’re so mad that I called? Not because it was Alex but because I didn’t know if he was good or bad?” “Yeah, baby. Because everyone in my old life never knew. Never suspected that he was hurting me. And I know you didn’t know and Alex is good we have no worries, but you need to be careful okay?” “I will mom.”

They sit in silence for another few minutes before luna looks up at her mom. “Is alex a good dad? The letter said he had twins.” “He’s an amazing dad.” “Did he leave because of me? Did he just not want to be my dad?” Jo’s heart breaks at the comment. “Oh, baby. No he, I didn’t get you until almost a year later after Alex had left. He didn’t know about you.” “You think he would’ve stayed if I’d have come sooner?” “I just wish he would’ve talked to me. I would’ve gone with him. I don’t regret him leaving because I got you, my whole world, but I would’ve gone with him to Kansas if only he had asked. And I’d like to think we were meant to be together, you and me, so we would’ve ended up with you still somehow.” “You looked happy in those wedding pictures. Happier than I’ve ever seen you before. Are you happy now?” “Im happy, lu.” “But you’re still a little sad? You’ve never had any boyfriends or girlfriends or non-binary-friends” jo sighs. “I just need you.” She says, but they both know it’s a lie.

They both know that she’s still sad that Alex had left that her whole world at that time left and it broke her and while luna helped piece her back together, there was still a piece missing. An Alex karev sized piece missing from her heart, because he took it when he left all those years ago.

*end flashback*

“She thought she was the reason why you’d left me.”

Alex looks down at the text on his phone seeing an unknown number with a seattle area code flash upon the screen. He opens the text and reads it.

>>she still loves you. my mom deserves to be happy, and you can fix that y’know.

He laughs to himself and jo raises a brow.

“Nothing, just, one of the kids” he says vaguely.

“How are they?” She questions tentatively.

“They both sixteen, got their licenses, and my hair has been grey since. Lex is in the running for a full ride volleyball scholarship to university of Denver. And Eli’s looking into MIT for computer engineering I have no idea where he gets that expertise from because both iz and i are pretty technologically illiterate.”

“And—“ Jo’s hesitant “and how is izzie?”

Alex reads her like an open book just as he’s done all the years before. He smiles to himself, looking up at jo.

“Happily married.” He says. And watches Jo’s face fall before he finishes. “To this guy who owns a bar in town. Since her second bout of cancer, she decided to give up medical and she threw herself into finally opening her own bakery that she’d dreamed of, and when she expanded and moved buildings she befriended the guy who runs the bar across the street and they’d hit it off they’ve been married for like nine years now? He’s a nice guy. They still live at the farmhouse and I have a house closer to the city and the hospital. We’re pretty cordial and see each other regularly. The twins now that they can drive they commute to our houses themselves.”

“You’re an ass” jo says after he finishes his tales. “A giant ass.” She says, punching his chest playfully.

Eventually jo gets paged into work and they have to split ways. Alex has to go home and catch his flight anyway.

Luna gets home from school, she’s hanging with uncle link and scout til her mom picks her up and brings her home.

“How’d it go with Alex?” She asks nosily.

“It was fine but I got paged and then had to leave and he had to go home.”

“Oh. That’s it? He didn’t say anything?”

“Say anything about what?”

“Nothing. I don’t know just. What’s he been doing all these years? He wasn’t wearing a ring and google says he’s not married.”

“You–“ jo says pointing a finger at her daughter as she grabs a box of Kraft mac from the cabinet. “You are too nosy for your own good” She grabs a bag of frozen vegetables from the freezer and pops them in the microwave while she puts water in a pot and starts the stove to boil the noodles.

“And?” Luna replies sarcastically.

“And nothing. No he’s not married. The twins are 16 and he’s got partial custody of them basically and they’re going to be going to college in like a couple years and he still works in the hospital”

“That’s it? Nothing else?”

“Nope. Now go finish your homework” “I did At scouts!” “Then go read a book I’ll call you when dinners ready” “fine!” She huffs dramatically.

A few months pass by and Jo’s delivering babies of course left and right and she’s got one, born 28 weeks via c-section and reminds her a bit of luna but there’s something wrong w the baby and no one can seem to figure it out.

She hovers over the number in her phone before finally pressing call.

His voice travels thru the phone and warms her entire heart.

“Hello this is Dr Karev” he answers

“It’s me”

“Jo? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, kinda. I mean. I have this patient. Well she’s not my patient anymore. But i delivered her baby and he was born at 28 weeks and he’s almost 30wks now and can I send you his file? I can’t figure out what’s wrong and neither can anyone else. I haven’t trusted any of our peds attendings since hayes left years ago but I’d like to hear your thoughts if you don’t mind?”

He accepts and she emails him over all of the files.

They end up talking a bit every night after Jo’s off work and can chat about her ex-patient’s baby.they brainstorm ideas of what could be wrong and even consult with arizona in New York at one point.

And the after work conversations turn to late night conversations and talking about their kids and their lives and how much Alex has missed this missed jo and she’s quiet because he doesn’t deserve to know that she feels the same way he doesn’t deserve to know that she still loves him just as much as she did the day he left.

But she does.

And after one too many glasses of wine it slips, that she misses him.

She goes to bed that night, still bummed without a breakthrough for the baby, who’s slowly dying and she feels like there’s nothing they can do.

And then she’s woken on the couch to chatting in her kitchen, and she looks over seeing luna sitting at the island with a bowl of cereal, and Alex happily making two cups of coffee in her kitchen.

She jumps up. “What the hell are you doing in my house?!”

“Kid let me in” he shrugs nonchalantly

She eyes luna “what did I tell you about letting strangers in the house?”

Luna laughs so hard she starts choking on her cereal. “Alex? A stranger? Sure mom. It’s not like you don’t fall asleep talking to him every night for the past month. You usually pace the house and can’t sleep and you’ve slept like all night ever since you started talking to him. Alex isn’t a stranger” Luna calls her out

“I asked her for your address and to let me in this morning”

“You have my kids number?”

“To clarify, she found my number and i had hers before I had yours”

Jo just stands there with her mouth open

“You’re gonna catch flies.” Luna smirks.

“Well, now that I’m here can we go visit the Perkins Baby? I think I know what’s wrong.”

Jo’s eyes light up.

She accepts the coffee and tries not to let on that she’s happy that he remembered how she takes her coffee and they let luna finish eating before dropping her off at school and heading off to the hospital

Sure enough, Alex figures out what’s wrong with the baby, gets him started on new medications and his stats start to rise almost instantly. Jo’s eyes light up, so proud of him and as they leave the NICU, Alex pulls her aside, into his arms and holds her, wrapping his arms around her, hugging her. Reveling in the feeling of her back in his arms.

She tucks her face in the crook of his neck, not wanting him to see the tears she’s fighting back, but she knows he already knows.

He lifts his head, cupping her chin and tilting her head up towards his, standing at the window just outside the nicu.

He leans his head down, forehead touching hers, their faces, their lips are so close. “Y’know this is where we had our first kiss” he whispers to her. “Where i told you I loved you”

She closes her eyes as the shivers run down her spine, the memories of a lifetime ago flashing in her mind and before she can stop herself, she’s closing the gap, kissing him like it’s the first time again.

“I love you too.” She whispers, breathlessly.

this one specifically made @doc-pickles cry at work and it wrecked me too like big mood bestie

#cici writes #jolex #headcanon roundup #the jolex gc #jolex gc things

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tiktaalic · 2 years

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here’s why #caskillsjohn stans can still win.

1) dean Does Not Share anecdotes but SAM is both bitter but also moved past it enough in his journey to casually be like “hey yeah our dad used to leave us alone for weeks at the tender age of nine” as part of his friendship conversations with cas which I believe in my heart just. have to like happen sometimes right?? offscreen??

2) cas binge reads parenting books for jack and ties back all these dry recordings of development phases with jokes about dean changing sam’s diapers and is like. hm.

3) (biggest reason) he didn’t actually get to kill his OWN shitty dad so the motivation is like 75% love for sam and dean fueled rage 15% his own daddy issues 2% He Will Get a Good Grade in Problem-Solving From Dean 8% sam and rowena will think he’s cool

re; last ask all that being said though I kind of just want him to Get Fucking Wrecked by somebody though and rowena doing it as a reflection of her own issues with parenting? also works. my real vote is for ellen shooting him in the past

i still come down on cas going #nokilling for john. i think he recognizes that he would not want john to care for HIS child jack and that starts him drawing the connections between john and dean’s Whole Entire Fucking Deal but i dont think he thinks of john as like, a person. he’s just dean’s fucked up backstory. i think if ANYTHING he’d give dean sad gay european eyes about john and be like. i cant find the comic. the one thats like lap straddling hey youre weird wanna kiss. except it s hey you’re deeply traumatized by your father wnat to kiss. also cas wouldnt kill his own shitty dad either. sorry. i do think. even in s15. he would love some recognition and pride if not love from his father so IF there was a chuck confrontation it would be very cas going you didnt love me you didnt love any of us because you’re a horrific selfish man and a terrible father and i am better than you if only on the merit that my son loves me and feels loved by me . double also dean would NOT be able to cope with johm murder by any of his friends and family. john is dean’s beast that he agrees to put outside but he will NOT let someone put him down. rowena would do it tho .easy. and she wouldnt care that dean was mad about it. ellen woul d probably not go to the extreme of killing maiming but i could see her shooting him in the leg or sthing just because shes mad and hes there and she knows it wont kill em. bobby. however. would kill john in a HEARTBEAT bury him in the front yard. easy

#ask #anonymous #spnwatch

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reyeslonestar · 3 years

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Lone star better square the hell up if they think we are just gonna accept this lame ass apology from Owen. It’s not nearly enough and the real apology that TK deserves. He has probably lived with this relationship with Owen his entire life or at least majority of it and that’s so sad. He seems so used to this that he just sat back and continued on with the intervention. I know that comment still hurts TK because of how he even brought it up. They need to circle back to this because I’m genuinely wondering what it’s gonna take for Owen to actually act like a good father. Loving your kid isn’t enough- you actually have to actively try to be a good parent. As in- remember they exist even when TK isn’t hurt or something. As in, don’t twist things around and play victim. All TK does is love his dad and yeah he gets frustrated with Owen because who wouldn’t but he still is always there. Owen straight up acted like TK didn’t exist when he thought Gwyn’s baby was his. He only said he would schedule the surgery because ‘he’s gonna be a dad’. He only jumps into father mode when TK was shot and kidnapped. Every other time??? It’s like oh TK is mad at me that’s why he is being a paramedic now. Like dude have you ever stopped to think that maybe it’s not all about you? He just wanted the switch to the paramedic job because he likes it. These little moments add up and make me wanna yell at Owen FOR tk

anon, we are in agreement. god, I want to get tk by the shoulders and tell him that owen’s bullshit is absolutely not his fault and he has done way more than should have been expected of him. then id like to slap Owen upside the head and frogmarch him into therapy. very regular therapy.

you’ve brought up a lot of interesting things here so im going to stick most of my thoughts under a cut.

ultimately I think that the things that underscore the problems of TK and Owen’s relationship are Owen’s inconstancy and unreliability. I think theres a decent splash of narcissism in there too, which leads to him pressuring and gaslighting people, unloading his problems on random people, making himself the victim in any given confrontation, and also his misguided heroism stunts. but the root of him and TK having a fractured relationship comes from TK being unable to rely on Owen. (and hoo boy does that make me emotional about the fact that TK finally has someone he can completely rely on with Carlos)

so your first point:

this lame ass apology from Owen

honestly there were two weak apologies that stuck out to me - the first being the one during the intervention about Owen ‘going to be a father’ - yay, acknowledgment - but TK deserves an proper apology, one that doesn’t feel offhand, and not when Owen feels pressured by the environment. im sure im not the only one that felt that comment was disingenuous - it didnt feel at all like Owen actually felt sorry, or understood the damage he’d done. and then again in the vets - it felt pointed to me that TK had to confirm Owen was still going to go through with the surgery after buttercup turned out to be okay. he understandably doesn’t trust Owen to hold himself to his promises, even one he made in the last five minutes, and I think that reflects on how he views the apologies - if Owen can flip back and forth on promises about his own health, what’s stopping him from giving insincere apologies?

He has probably lived with this relationship with Owen his entire life or at least majority of it and that’s so sad. He seems so used to this

yeah I think you’re absolutely right - I think everything about their relationship, including TK’s anxieties about Owen’s unreliability, stem from him feeling left behind during his childhood (something I talked about a lot here - I wrote that a few months ago but I stand by a lot of it). and those anxieties really came out this ep because Owen keeps being incredibly inconstant this season. (not inconstant as in inconsistent characterisation, inconstant as in an unreliable character)

something I mentioned in some of my tags yesterday (and that I want to really dive into more specifically at some point) was the emotional labour that I suspect TK has had to shoulder in order to maintain their relationship. Owen has been this consistently absent figure, so TK has worked himself into Owen’s work life to be physically close to him, but Owen’s emotional distance has meant TK has taken up the emotional work too in order to maintain their relationship, and that has kind of allowed them both to pretend to themselves that they have a good relationship, with much more of the strain of maintaining that facade falling on TK.

Loving your kid isn’t enough- you actually have to actively try to be a good parent.

everything you said here. absolutely. loving someone does not equal having a healthy relationship with them, and TK and Owen definitely dont have that. TK is evidently so hyper aware of how much Owen has ignored him when it suits him - it kills me to see the way that comment about being a father has obviously been eating at him for weeks - and I really hate how controlling Owen gets when TK is in danger, but then is so utterly absent when TK’s in a good place, or even bitter and hostile when TK makes positive choices for himself. again, I talked about this in detail in this post - basically, Owen has major control issues and dude needs therapy.

don’t twist things around and play victim.

oh man, this shit pissed me off. like, I get that the subjects of interventions often have hostile reactions, but gaslighting Mateo after pressuring him into drinking and emotionally unloading on him? holy shit Owen, no. and making himself to be the victim of situations that have nothing to do with him, like TK becoming a paramedic or oversharing to the vet and the kid sitting on the roof. like, I understand that mental illness can lead you to taking shitty actions, but it still makes them shitty actions.

They need to circle back to this because I’m genuinely wondering what it’s gonna take for Owen to actually act like a good father.

yeah! I dont know what to think about this in the show, because knowing the way the show heroises Owen, I don’t know whether they’ll feel that they need to address it further than those pathetic apologies. that said, we’ve got Owen and this arson case next week and there does seem to be a tone that shows Owen as an idiot, and frames him as wrong for going against the rules and trying to sneak into a crime scene. if im right, then there would be scope for this to be an overall arc of Owen learning to become self aware and understand that he is not the centre of the universe. I just hope the show bothers to do that.

in the immortal words of Michelle Blake: Owen, get a therapist!

#911 lone star #911 lone star spoilers #episode chat 2x10 #fandom discussion #owen strand #tk strand #the strands #owen strand critical #I dont mind flawed characters #and the fact that they were addressing it (kinda) made me happy #and thats partly why I didnt mind Owen this ep #a has thoughts

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gwaaaaar · 2 years

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Sometimes i think abt phantom of the opera and cope n seethe like yall rlly like erik the incel? Raouls kind of a bitch too but atleast he didnt kidnap christine? Anyways my 10 step plan(?) To fixing raoul bc mazm made me love him. If i miss something tell me, its been a while since i read up.

Id like to think of raoul as a well intentioned extremist, he does care abt christine but he just feels as if he cant trust her enough, as if he needs to carry the burden of protecting her. That could be his major fatal flaw he needs to fix. Instead of stalking Christine to the graveyard, it would be better if he was actually paying a visit to her fathers grave instead and just happened to see her, but he didnt want to upset her or make her think he was weird so he hides. Thats how he sees the phantom singing to her. Sometimes he snoops around but mostly its to just catch n confront the phantom for christine.

Im gonna take this part from a server i ranted in, still my ideas btw

"I would like to write him as being kinda soft so when christines hiding shit he takes it a little too personally and gets scared > turns into a bad habit of subconscious manipulation. When he realizes the phantom is real or sees christines very real fear, he promises to stay by her side and protect her > turns into a very obsessive person because he did promise to protecting her so when she gets kidnapped again he goes ballistic because dammit why isnt anyone listening to him?"

"Id like to think the moral of phantom of the opera is Yes you can have trauma, yes bad shit happens, it doesnt excuse what you personally do out of obsession or spite, no one owes you anything, not even salvation. What anyone does is what they want to do, so when they show kindness, it should be from their heart."

"Christine calling out Raoul every time he does something shitty As in "Stop saying i dont love you! Im doing this because I love you! I may stop loving you if you keep manipulating me like this!" Christine was like a very early feminist I would like to make her independent and able to stand for herself + showing her compassion when she wants to"

"Like both the phantom and raoul are very manipulative at times, i want her to be able to stand up for herself + react to it" "So after arguing with Raoul she gets mad and starts throwing shit and accidentally throws out the phantoms ring once she realizes she done fucked up she starts looking around for it ferociously"

"Raoul stalking christine either i make them coincidences or him taking his goodwill too far Like christine visiting her fathers grave, if raoul knew where his grave was located. Maybe he himself would visit as a form of respect + maybe a blessing from beyond the grave :3c. If he didnt know about the grave, hes concerned for christine after she tells him about the "angel of music" because who the hell is that and why is it a guy. Raoul knows about the angel of music too bc he and christine were childhood friends and her dad used to tell them stories. So maybe he also sees someone else pranking christine under the guise of the angel of music as like tainting their childhood?"

I love juicing discord dms.

I think the biggest part of his development would be catching himself when he starts the subconscious manipulation and realizes how bad hes making christine feel. Every now and then he may do it but he will catch himself and apologize before assuring Christine its her choice and hers alone.

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gayfrenchtoast · 3 years

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Despite sleep juice brain still go brr so

Harry Potter if Lily and James DIDNT DIE

A fan theory ramble

Also fuck JK Rowling

Okay so Harry Potter would be taught about the order and the dangers of the wizarding world early on due to James and Lily's positions and James probably being all hug ho about Harry not being afraid of Voldemort especially after that faithful night they almost died to him but didn't because Sirius was watching over their house that night and came to save them. They found out Wormtail was the traitor and sent him scampering and took max precautions after that.

Harry is more arrogant in this version because "my parents are great wizards and my parents and Godfather fought Voldemort and sent him packing" however big bad V did manage to land a hit on him that gave him his scar, unknown if this makes him a haucrux yet. So yeah he's arrogant and he's super confident he's gonna go to hogarth and be an awesome gryffindoor

Lily made Snape and James "make up like adults" and be civil for her and Harry's sakes. They shit talk each other behind their backs and though this in first year made Harry dislike Snape especially since James would shit talk about Snape to Harry and Harry would then overhear Snape shit talking his dad as he got older he just came to accept it and listen to it for the petty drama, ever got Snape to shit talk his dad to him and so they'd just vent at him about each other and no it isn't healthy but damn is it funny to Harry.

Harry does meet Ron and Hermione on the train for the first time, makes friends with Ron by buying some of the sweets from the trolley, with the money James slipped to him before he got on, for them to share. Kinda teases Hermione first time they meet by opening the chocolate frog to her when she asks about the toad ("are you sure it's not a frog? Cus I found THIS" he opens the box in a flash and the chocate frog makes a leap, right towards Hermione. She let's out a high help and leaps back in surprise only for Harry to catch it before it can even get that close to her. Both he and Ron laugh at her reaction as the girl flushes red with rage and embaressment, beginning to turn to presumably storm off. "Wait wait! I'm sorry, I was just joking! Here, you can have it. I only really want the card anyway." He grins as he offers the chocolate frog that was mostly reverting into mainly chocolate form. She looked hesitant but did carefully take the token of good faith, inspecting it a little just to be sure. "...fine. I accept your apology. I shall continue to look for the toad. And by the way, we'll be arriving soon. You might want to get changed into your robes." And she trots off, seemingly satisfied with whatever good job she did.)

Malfoy, who's heard about the boy who's family sent the dark Lord to the shadows, I quick to try and belittle Harry and then try and make it sound like he could "redeem his family name" by becoming friends with him. Harry basically laughs and says he knows of malphoy and his family and he's proud his family was the ones that fought Voldemort instead of the ones who bent over for him. Draco is stunned and pretty pissed.

Sorting hat Ceremony makes it real interesting. Ron gets in Gryffindoor, as expected, however Hermione is in Ravenclaw, Nevil is in Hufflepuff and Harry Potter is in Slytherin. With Draco Malfoy. Who he just insulted.

Harry is devastated to be in Slytherin. He deadass argues with the hat but is forced to concede and go sit and just accept that he's a Slytherin. Ron is conflicted that his new friend who's family fought Voldemort is in slytherin and Draco appears to have the same problem. Despite now being in the same house a rivalry forms between them which is only enhanced by them bunking in the same room.

Harry writes home about this and both James and Lily assure him it's okay he's in Slytherin, Lily tells him that Snape was a Slytherin and Snape is their friend and James reminds him that Slytherin does not mean evil and Gryffindoor does not mean good, wormtail was a Gryffindoor and he turned them over to the dark Lord. This does make him feel a bit better.

Harry manages to maintain his friendship with Ron despite their houses, it's weird at first but they quickly break down that barrier and become great friends, goofing around, becoming friends with the Groundskeeper, which helps them become friends with Hermione.

They make friends with Nevil by saving his rememberall when draco throws it. Nevil helps them with herbology homework from then on. Minera advises Snape to get Harry to be seeker for Slytherin Quiditch after she sees what he does and Harry, who still sees Slytherin as kinda the enemy despite being in it, hesitantly agrees. Slytherin Quiditch is allot less friendly that Gryffindoor, the team is allot colder to him at first, however once he proves himself he finds he loves the sport more than he cares about what team or house he's in and his team warm up to him and actually turn out to not be as scary and mean as he thought. They're still kinda arrogant assholes but Harry is too so he dosent have room to judge

Deadass I do not care about the Philosipers stone shit, people don't think Harry is some kind of chosen one, he and his family survived voldemort and are kinda celebrities for that but because there no tragedy within a year of the event there are rumours its a hoax and eventually the potters surviving the dark Lord becomes a roumour itself so people aren't trying to actively sabotage him. And since he don't think Snape is a stranger out to get him (litterally confronts him about his sus and Snape is like "nah fam I may not like hour dad but you're like my godson I'm not gonna try and kill you in the middle of a quiditch match on a broom" and Harry is like "oh...okay nvm but if you're lying I'm telling my mum" and when he dosent flinch he knows he's telling the truth) and so they quickly figure it was Quirrel. When Hermione puts sus on him Harry decides to be very Slytherin when they confront him in the bathroom and tries to wingardium leviosa him into the air, only getting his turban and showing off his voldemort face. In front of like three other teachers. Fight ensues, day saved, stone safe.

They do find the mirror while goofing off one night and Harry sees himself as a Gryffindoor with his parents proud. He dosent visit the mirror again

Harry gets the invisibility cloak from James that year for Christmas with the strict instructions that he will not tell anyone except those he trusts of its existence.

Draco, probably in second year again, ends up calling Hermione a mud blood at some point ("Potter! You're making our house look bad hanging out with that mud blood!) Harry immidately starts yelling at Draco for that and it quickly escalates to them fist fighting. Sape ends up being the one to discipline them, actually telling Draco off for using such a phrase but still punishing Harry for starting Violence. This is what ends up with them being punished by being sent into the woods with Hagrid. They somehow end up bodmung on tbsi trip, Harry asking why Draco would do that and Draco launching into a tirade about how "father says it and father is always right! He'd beat me if I was friends with a mud blood why should you get to do this and that id get punished for this and that father this father that-" you get the picture. Harry just lets him rant until he's done and then is like "wow your dad is a dick" and drack tries to.deny but Harry just goes through all the shitty stuff draco just told him his father did and draco is just like "...you won't tell my father we talked about this will you" "look mate, I dont ever wanna even meet your father and if I did meet him I would have a bunch of other shit to say to him and a few gestures." And so Harry managed to convince Draco his dad is the dick he is and begins on a mission to get him to see that and be better than him.

Harry goes home for Christmas but always sends his friends gifts. In second year before they depart on the train he gives Draco something before they part ways. He knows a gift would probably be suspicious from him arriving at Malfoy Manor so he gives to to Draco with instructions to only open it at christmas. On christmas day, when he gets some alone time, Draco opens the gift. It's a metal bangle of a Snake that when he rubs it and says a set word it becomes a warm light in the darkness. Draco only says uts acceptable when they meet in the new year bug Harry sees him wearing it and catches him using it at night.

Sometimes Harry has nightmares about the night Voldemort tried to kill his family and of the dark Lord himself. Draco has nightmares of his father and death eaters. When they wake the other up from the nightmares they sit ul and talk about them, abiut random thing or just make teasing jabs at each other until they're comfortable to sleep again

Draco gives up the information they need about the chamber when asked so no need for polyjuice, apologises to Hermione on their way out from the Slytherin dorm room, visits her and brings her and apology chocolate frog for when she is cured (the boys told him they were her favorite) and follows Ron and Harry to the chamber, demanding he be a part in the adventure. Its the Basilisk and Tom Riddle that terrify Draco and seals the deal on his conversion over to the "oppose the dark Lord" side

Draco sets Dobby free

Let's get some Potter family back in here for the hell of it. Sirius has been in love with Remus for yeaaars. Lily knows and is his emotional support. James is oblivious. Remus is with Tonks for a few years but talks to James about his doubts. James is all "naah man Tonks is great! I understand you don't think yihre worthy of a great girl but you are man! Belive in yourself!" And so Remus sticks with it. By Harry's third year there are rumours in the order of Wormtail being about, Remus becomes Hogwart's defence against the dark arts teacher and Sirius is a wreck with Harry and Remus in the frey but him stuck on the sidelines, even Tonks is confused and kinda annoyed with his fretting causing him to confess to her that he lives her boyfriend. She's surprisingly chill and is like "deadass I've been waiting for years for him to break up with me and get with you you two are so stupid" and so Sirius runs off in doggy disguise to confess to moony and arrives in time to help save the day

Draco slowly intergrates into the friend group, Ron bringing some of his friends (Dean and Sean) in a bit and Draco trying to bring some of his friends (Crab Goil and Blaze) but they're mostly hesitant (except from Blaize who wants help on his Herbology from the smart awkward Hufflepuff)

Draco pretends not to be worried about the dementors and Harry's fear of them but he always has his eye on them whenever he sees one.

The demontors were sent out to look for Peter Pettigrew.

Harry shares the maunders map with Draco when he finds it. Harry recognises whk the maunders are as soon as he sees it but doesn't tell Fred and George. However when they see Peters name they rush to Remus. Remus is in a bit of a tiz by this and tells them to follow him with the invisibility cloak as they go look for him. They never find him that night and he ends up dissapearing off the map but Remus still confiscated the map for the night and tells them to keep an eye out for anything suspicious, including rats. They're confused but promise to be careful.

Draco doesn't try and get buckbeak executed this time, he deadass is working with Harry to gain the hypogriff's trust and some slytherins that are pussdd they're being all friendly with other houses set off a loud spell that spooks buckhead and draco shoves Harry out of the way before he can get hurt and takes the brunt. None knows how word got to Lucius, it causes an argument in the group especially when Drsco is too afraid to stand up to his father but Harry stands up to him as he knows why Daco is afraid and they work out a plan to free buckbeak instead.

The plan ends up co-inciding with the day Sirius breaks into hogwarts. The dementors know there's an intruder but can't find him so are more active that usual, Sirius doesn't get tome to confess because as soon as he arrives Remus is all work mode and fills him in on the map and all and needs Sirius' nose to sniff him out. The kids plan of rescue is interupted because of this and most continues as normal with Harry furious at Peter not Sirius when he's revealed for trying to get his family killed and Draco tagging along. Snape busting in let's Peter escape unfortunately and then full moon and dementors happen. They manage to rescue buckbeak and themselves with time Turner magic and all is good.

After the full moon is done sirius sniffs out Moony and crades him in his arms until he wakes up, its there in the sunrise he tearfully tells him he loves him and with a clear mind Remus tells him he loves him too.

Draco ends up actually getting into an argument with his dad about trying to get buckbeak killed when he gets home which starts Draco's proper rebellious streak with also means an increase of strictness from Lucius. Draco and Harry send secret messages back and forth.

Thats all for now but I have ideas for the rest of the stories I will ramble about later!

#harry potter #harry potter rambles #hp #draco malfoy #fuck jk rowling jyst to be clear #i am re-wroting harry potter #i wrote harry potter now #me and miku

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yggdrasil-mith0s · 4 years

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Another reason people probably didnt like Symphonia their first time but later loved it is because of the themes and undertones. Here is another essay that's going to be a very quick Symphonia walkthrough as a young child playing.

Here's a warning: I mention some stuff that happens in Symphonia. It will be mostly vague but there will be mention of death. There also might be some spoilers in here but nothing too serious, just some of the beginning story more than likely.

Let me begin by saying the box art looks pretty cool for the Gamecube but the front and back does look like a very, very young child's RPG. It seems like an RPG that was creates for super young children that havent hit there teens or are in the very first years of being a teen.

I'm about to give a quick walkthrough as if I am a very young kid playing Symphonia for the first time. This is to show why a lot of people had this as their first game in the series but didnt like it. Why a lot of people weren't the biggest fans until their second playthrough or when they gave it another chance and realized it is absolutely stunning. A top 10 game of all time across every platform created.

First off, there was a lot of adult themes and tones in Symphonia. Obviously, I dont mean nudity or sexually explicit material. I'm talking about the Desian Camps. The idea that millions of people are being captured, put to work, then put to death or letting them die. These type of adult themes.

The first time we played, we were young. We didnt get choked up or super sentimental about what was going on in video games. We didn't care so much about the parallels between real life and our video games. Usually, we just wanted something fun to play. I mentioned it earlier but the start of Symphonia looks super childish and like it's going to be a lighthearted adventure. You have a cast of kids (2 very young adults that added comedy and badassness). A majority of the beginning fights are snakes, birds, bunnies, and bears. The battle system is fun but also easy enough to get the hang of. You can honestly button mash with the occasional arte and not worry about combos . You didnt have to worry about combos at all, really, and just use artes when you wanted. Some of the artes were pretty cool looking and strong too which added more of a "wow, the combat system is cool. There's attacks and a bunch of power attacks you can use. You can also move around and dont have to wait like a turn base game." It's also possible to just button mash or use all your MP on Artes and really kick their ass.

Combining all of those elements together makes it seem more kid friendly than it really is. Playing through the start makes you feel like a 10 year old playing his first RPG with an age appropriate game since you control a bunch of kids. The fights are easy and usually bees or some weak animal. Nothing serious, really. The artes are cool and the more artes you learn, the cooler and more fun Lloyd gets. It's cool to play as Lloyd when you learn a new arte or two.

So far everything has been pretty lighthearted. This RPG is fun, the characters are pretty cool and can be funny. The dungeons aren't super confusing. It's just a fun game overall but nothing spectacular or crazy. Really the worst thing that has happened is "Desians bad. They destroy hometown over something stupid."

Marble's scene is the only real adult sad part in the game so far. They kill Marble in a way that you kind of don't get crushed by emotions. They let you down pretty easy and you get Marble's ring for Genis so now she is always with you. Her death isn't too bad because she was old and it was just one old woman in the game. It's sad but not devastating. Also the Ranch. They use them as slaves. But tbh it doesn't really hit you that they resemble real world stuff and you dont see the parallels like you should. You just kind of write it off as shitty and Desians are evil and the bad guys. Surely you save everyone from the ranches and that's the point of the game. Kill Desians and save everyone.

You get to the dessert oasis where Colette crashed through the wall. Cute and funny. Oh, Lloyd and Genis get captured by bad Desians but the wanted posters were bad so it made it funny. Eventually, You escaped the bad, bad Desians and are back with your friends, yay!!! You go to the fire shrine, finally see more menacing enemies but they still arent that bad, and start your first puzzle dungeon! It's short but a lot of fun with a boss fight. It was a little tough but fun!! You beat the shrine, yay!!!

The serious Angel (Remiel) comes down again and talks to Colette and the gang. He gives her wings! She is becoming an angel. At this point you are thinking, "How cool. Colette is becoming an angel!!! She has wings now and can probably fly wherever she wanted to go! This game is really fun. It's not bad at all. The weapons and equipment aren't difficult and it's fun buying or finding stuff better than what you have and equipping the new stuff. The skits can be funny too and I get to know the characters better with the skits. This game is really cool, actually." It's time to speed this post up, though. I'll be going faster and doing more short versions/storytelling.

We sail across seas and bow we are at Palmacosta!!! Here's where things get a little weird and stuff too. So Palmacosta is cool. We look through town, only to find imposters. That's right. These fools are pretending to be me and my gang. Im the one with a cool group and shit. People wanna be me so bad!!! Lol.

By the way. General Dorr is also the Mayor of Palmacosta.

Imposters are rude and we meet mayor who seems cool till he tells us he thought the imposters were us and gave them a book we need. So....little me is like

"YOU DID WHAT!?" .... so we leave. Lol

We go to mountain gate, cant pass yet, learn Palmacosta is under attack by ... you guessed it... Desians. ,

*little me has eyes stretch wide open* But I was just there!!!! Sucks, I know.

So we head back and make it to Palmacosta. Remember the girl we saved from extreme questioning and customers that were badgering the girl since she was the store clerk/owner. Of course not. I never mentioned it. I saved her back then at the start of Palmacosta. Naturally they chose Chocolate, in some weird, sick revenge way for me making them look weak when they verbally attacked her. So Chocolate is about to hang and be killed. Some stuff happens and Lloyd ends up using his sword to save Chocolate. Boom. He is a hero. He saved someone from hanging....

Wait.... hanging? In kids game? Damn that's a little intense for a kids game but I guess you do save her. Carry on.....

So let's speak to the Mayor. He was conveniently gone while that was happening but meh. Coincidence right? Yeah. Yeah.

Talking to the General/Mayor we decide to go rescue everyone who has been kidnapped from Palmacosta. By the way there's a ranch for most cities that Desian's manage. So there is a Palmacosta Ranch and a bunch of people from Palmacosta are now held prisoners in the Ranch. Boo! But I digress.

Off to Palmacosta ranch!!! We finally reach it and... oh look... General Dorr"s personal Aide/Assistant. What's this? He is a traitor!? You've got to be kidding me! I trusted that dude!!! Maybe that will teach little me to be careful about who I hang out with. A pretty good life lesson for little me and nothing too serious. I'll handle that later though, and rescue the prisoners in the Palmacosta Ranch.

We save Chocolate but she would almost rather die than be saved by you. So you save her but not without a fight and learning some shocking stuff that little me is like "WHAAAA!!!???!??? NO WAY NO WAY NO WAY!!!!!!!! she still lives cause of you and you fight the leader of the Ranch and win that battle!!!

So yay!!! You won the battle and beat Palmacosta Ranch! Good job little you! You did awesome!!! The game has been really great, with a pretty light tone for the most part. Everything is bright, the enemies arent that bad at all, nothing truly fucked up has ha---"we're going to blow up the Ranch with people still in it" -Raine.

That's right.... "YOU'RE GONNA WHAT!?!?"

So yeah, we blow up Palmacosta Ranch. Desians were probably still inside along with a janitor named Chet that everyone forgot about lol. So bye bye Ranch!!!

"That got dark really fast and Raine is pretty ruthless but most people escaped. I guess I can kind of forgive that. This game is definitely darker than I thought but it could be worse. Most people escaped anyways I am sure. So it's not that bad." -me.

Back to Palmacosta to confront the traitor General Dorr!! Here we are! General Dorr and his daughter are standing suspiciously in the basement of the government building in Palmacosta. I'm sure he knows that he has been found out. I know he tried to sabotage the Chosen's journey. He has no exc--- OH NO! They got his wife with the Demon Seed, too!! Now she is a monster! No wonder he is a traitor. He is trying to get a potion which is the cure to save his wife. I kind of get it but that's pretty messed up. He is basically being held hostage. This game just got a little darker.... but it could be worse, I suppo----WHAT!? HIS DAUGHTER IS A DEMON! DID SHE JUST SAY SHE KILLED HIS DAUGHTER A LONG TIM AGO AND HE WAS TOO STUPID TO NOTICE!?"

She really just called him stupid and is acting like he is the biggest idiot for not knowing she killed his daughter!!! This whole time she has pretended to be his daughter. That means she probably went to her school, played with her friends, talked to her dad and played with him. She probably told him she loved him which is so messed up. She also knew there was no potion but continued to watch him and be ready to kill him if he tried to snitch about his wife. This got dark really fucking fast wtf!!! She is a complete demon stranger in a girls body pretending she loves her daddy, plays with friends, and does child things but is a demon the whole time. "I love you daddy says the demon pretending to be your daughter. That's really sick and twisted. Sad thing is little me is like "well that's weird. How did no one notice at all she was acting odd?

Maybe she didn't have any friends and her dad is to distracted about the medicine for his wife, he doesn't notice.

That's absolutely crazy and completely dark. Woah. This game is way way darker than it lead me to believe when I was young. That was pretty much my first reaction/playthrough when I was little. Symphonia is dark as fuck.

I played a little bit further to the next ranch my first playthrough but quit when I found out they were killing people like it was nothing. I was really little then, too, btw. I quit because it got really dark and kind of weird and complicated to fully grasp everything going on and the parallels to the real world. I always played RPGs relating it to real life and such. I have done that since my first RPG so with Symphonia I had to quit. It was too dark and weird when I first played it.

Once I came back and beat Symphonia I thought it was Brilliant. It was absolutely amazing and worth so much more praise. I loved it and still do. Even the dark side of things.

Turns out I am not the only one who did this. Play through, reach a dark part or part where you realize how dark it is, and then quit. I'm glad I picked it back up, though. It's almost a perfect game!!!

So yeah... here's a playthrough of little me and Symphonia. I was too little to be playing games with dark themes even if they were short or small. I say this because I was stupid small and really let my imagination run wild when I played games and read. I often make things 20 times worse so I really shouldn't have played Symphonia till later.

Anyways it's amazing. Nearly perfect.

Enjoy your games, everyone. If you arent currently doing so, find a Tales game to pick up and start playing!!! Tales of Arise or some other Tales game will be here before you know it so practice up!!! Play a Tales game!!!

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wongiemei · 5 years

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Roommate!Jeno

a/n: maybe i should just turn this blog into an nct dream one

okay

letsgetit!

first of all,

story time!

your uni is fucking expensive and it’s more expensive if you live in the grounds

so you being the wise human,

you went to get an apartment near the campus

it was great and all since roommate!jaemin was paying for his stuff

you were both living respectively until he had to leave

the dumbass didnt even bother to tell you

one morning you just woke up and found his note

‘hey bitch! figured you were too much of a rock to wake up but i moved out! the family wants me to go back home and tend the restaurant’

the whole day yesterday, you were working

bc,,, yknow

broke college life

and you just walked in half asleep towards your room and fell asleep

so you didnt really see or notice

but were you freaking out bc your roommate suddenly moved out?

ofc you were freaking out

not only was your roommate gone,

how were you going to find a new one?!

jaemin expected your phone call that afternoon and he endured through all your screaming

‘babe, i’m just going to be gone for a year-or two’

‘oR tWO?!’

‘hun, my dad’s injured and his back can only let him do so much. ma’s working too much and i dont have any siblings to help. i figured i could just hold off college until my parents are ready’

ugh, jaemin is such a family boy

‘but jaems! you couldnt have at least told me that yOu wERe mOvING OuT?! and! rent is due soon! i can’t pay for that myself!’

jaemin couldve easily told you to warn yoy

but he didn’t want to tell you bc he couldnt handle you sad and didnt want to upset you

however, now jaemin really understands how shitty that move was

‘tell you what. i’ll pay for this month and make a few phone calls and i’ll get you set up with a new roommate, deal?’

knowing how much of a social butterfly he was, you agreed

ofc you trusted jaemin but part of you feared that he might pair you up with a freak

but he’s not that mean, is he?

you can definitely see renjun doing that but not jaemin

so there you are,,

sitting on your couch alone

without jaemin, your apartment felt really empty

its been a few days since he moved and you were miserable

jaemin hasn’t even texted you about that potential roommate

just as you were about to call him,,

your doorbell rang

you froze and you looked at the time

it was nearing 11 at night and you don’t remember ordering delivery

see,,

if jaemin was here,

he would answer it for you since you would be too scared to do it

but you mustered up your courage and peeped through the peep hole

the man was dressed in all black with a black mask and a black cap with his hood over it with a black hoodie and black pants

ngl, you were terrified and trembling

he rang it again and you jumped

typing out a quick text to jaemin saying ‘hey bub, if i don’t text you in an hour, that means ive been kidnapped so call the police’

you grabbed a pan from the cupboard and gulped before you opened the door

thinking he would just walk forward and grab you, you closed your eyes and raised your pan over your head and swung

a shriek from in front of you made your eyes snap open and found the guy on the floor with a fetal position

you both just froze for like a phat minute

snapping back to reality, you held the pan in front of you

‘if youre going to kidnap me, i got a pan and im not afraid to hit you with it!’

you tried to sound intimidating but your voice was shaking so much

the guy stood up and he took off his hat and the mask to reveal a blonde haired kid

okay, so you were sHOokETh

damn! this boy is fine!

he gave you a shaky smile and held out his hand

‘hi! i’m lee jeno! you must be y/n? jaemin told me you had an opening for a roommate?’

now you noticed the two duffle bags at the side

the embaressment and the shame settled in slowly and you found yourself burning up

nodding, you motioned him to come in

jeno awkwardly walked in and was amazed at how big the layout was with the low rent

‘yea, its kinda hard to believe that we only pay that much. at first i thought there was a ghost in here and that’s why its so cheap’

you tried to make small conversation but laughed weirdly at jeno’s slightly terrified face

‘no! there really is not ghost here! ive lived here for a year and there hasnt been anything so please dont understand! please be my roommate!’

you begged and jeno thought you were weird

but jaemin was right, you were weirdly adorable in a way

so that’s how you and jeno became apartment buddies!

now onto the good stuff!

so, jeno is a vv clean guy

like he’s the type to just pick up a wrapper in the street and throw it in the garbage

so naturally, he likes to keep the apartment as tidy and neat as possible

but you being a mess you are,

you usually leave a lot of things everywhere

lets just say you have a short memory

‘oh? how did that get there?’

eventually, jeno gets sick of it and he confronts you with it

ofc you understand and you actually try to be better

since jeno is literally the most perfect roommate

maybe even better than jaemin

(but don’t tell him that)

jeno is the type to re-stock the pantry with snacks and the fridge with ice cream

since youre both college students, ramen is practically always available in the house 24/7

he also makes the coffee every morning since he works early and wakes up first

even though he doesn’t like the drink and prefers milk, he still notices how you survive off of coffee

babie likes to pick you up some iced americano while he gets a frappe

you on the other hand,,

you’re very surprised

when you got to bed after showing jeno around,

you messaged jaemin

ofc he was worried af and was blowing up your phone

‘WHAT?!’

‘bitch answer the damn phone!’

‘whatthe fuck is happening?!’

‘i need to know if you’re still alive!’

‘oh fuck i shouldnt have moved out’

smiling softly at how worried he was, you responded to him

‘you hoe, it hasnt been an hour yet so chillax. i’m alive, unfortunately, and i just met my new roommate. again, thanks for the heads-up. youre so bad at those. i literally thought he was a burgular or a kidnapper. but he seems chill and emo. just my type.’

but jeno is F A R from C H I L L

oh my goodness,,

hes a crackhead

theres this sound he makes when he’s confused and you couldnt figure out if its cute or weird or if he’s doing this on purpose or thats just how he is

you and him basically communicate with memes

sometimes, at the weird hours at night, he sends you a dumbass meme

you cant help but snort

also, you promised to take jaemin out to dinner to repay him for the great roommate

‘hes literally one of the best people youll ever meet. it just so happen he needed a place to sleep. now you owe me’

hes a science major while you were a computer major

he basically brings home weird stuff to analyze and it just hella stinks

but hes considerate enough to actually put it outside

whenever he’s focused, he talks to himself or the thing he’s analyzing

‘okay mr. fishy. your scales are really big and its bigger than average’

its so cute

oof also!

jeno doesnt have a job yet he always makes rent on time with extra money to spare

he even sometimes buys you stuff saying, ‘they reminded me of you’

for your birthday, he bought you a pearl necklace that mustve costed thousands

at first, you thought he was a chaebol or smth

which you wouldve been vv jealous of bc youre a struggling college student who works at the coffee shop

but, you were answered when you caught him walking in half-dazed and half-asleep with cuts all over his face

it was like 2 in the morning and you were pulling an all-nighter for some project and wanted to get a glass of water

but here he is, hood up, lip busted, black eye, cheek cut

you shrieked and ushered him to sit on the dining chair

thinking he got mugged or something, you start drilling him questions

‘hun, if you were beat up, we need to call the police! this is illegal!’

but jeno chuckles and brushes the stray hairs out of your face as you tend to his lip

‘pls dont. if you do, ill be broke and i wont have money to pay rent then i cant be your roommate anymore’

cue confused y/n

‘wUT?’

‘if i dont make money, youll kick me out and youll have to find another roommate. i dont want you to go through that hassle again’

ofc you were flattered that even during this situation, hes still thinking about you

‘how is this making money?!’

‘i cant believe youre oblivious to so many things. i thought for sure youve caught on.’

more confusion

‘eXCUse mE, lEE JEno? since when have you started coming home with all these things in your face?’

you were worried that this wasnt the first time this happened

but if you think hard about it, thats why he always wears his mouth masks and he always has his blonde fringe down and sometimes wears sunglasses even though its cloudy outside

‘ohmygod lee jeno are you in a gang?!’

jeno was shocked that you came to that conclusion but laughed at how adorable you were rn

with your wide eyes and mouth open

‘nah, bro. i box. its the only way i can make easy money.’

‘but,,, why did you hide this from me? if you needed money i couldve helped you’

he looked at you skeptically

‘sis, you could barely afford that muffin the other day’

lee jeno now looked different from the jeno you met the first day

What you thought to be an innocent little squish was a fighter at night

‘yah, can-um-you need to take this off’

you mumbled while tugging on his sweatshirt

he nodded and slipped it off

he explained why he came late when he first moved

‘i had a late night match and yknow,, school and all, i barely had enough time to come'

as you dab the wound, you try to make small talk to distract yourself

‘so,, youve been boxing this whole time?’

you asked, trying not to get distracted to the way his tight shirt clung to him, showing his defined body

there were bruises up and down his arms and his knuckles were busted

‘yea. i have been since senior high. gotta make money, yknow?’

‘but jen, you can work in coffee shops or at local bookstores. its not worth seeing you busted up like this’

your lips trembled at the thought of him being beaten up too hard to the point he gets into a coma

jenos eyes widened at your wobbling lips and he softly cupped your face

‘hey, im okay and ill be fine. you dont have to worry about me. i usually win, anyways’

his confidence made you chuckle

‘i trust you, lee jeno. just make sure to make it home to me every night.’

‘i know you do and i will. always.”

ever since then,

youve become his little caretaker

youve informed jaemin of what hes been doing and he knew but didnt want you to judge him immediately

smh, jaemin really sucks at informing people

but jeno tries to help you keep up

he even sends you texts that hes fighting that night and your little ‘fighting!’ always makes him smile

his manager and friend, chenle, noticed that hes starting to smile more

chenle likes boxing and wants to be a part of it but doesnt want to be hurt

so,, what better to be the manager of his friend

‘yah, hyung. what’s got you giggly today?’

jeno pointed to the screen and giggled at the little good luck gif you sent

his eyes turned to crescents and chenle smirked

‘wah, you like her, don’t you?’

at the mention of ‘like’, his smile dropped and he shook his head

‘no. of course not. shes just a friend.’

chenle being chenle,,

he continues to prod

‘okay. so every night, you make it your priority to make sure you’re home by 2 in the morning for your friend’

smh, chenle youre so annoying

but hes so right

ever since you caught him,

hes been making sure he gets home at the same time

he sends you a text that hes on his way and you set your ringtone at a very high volume so you wake up and take care of him

during fights, he makes it his sole mission to make out of this alive and a winner for you

but that never crossed his mind as his feelings for you

he just thought of it as making you not worry for him

but then, he starts to think about your stupid little habits

the way you make this face whenever you dont understand

or when you still leave little post-it notes everywhere with ideas you come up with

he noticed it all and he loves them

‘hOLy ShIT!’

that night was when he realized his feelings for you and he was so dedicated on finishing it that he quickly won and he dashed home with his money

bursting through the door, you looked at him with wide and startled eyes

‘what’s wrong?’

you came running but he scooped you up to a hug

ok you were confused but relieved that he was home and alright

jeno looked at your face and wanted to confess but chickened out at the sight of you

you were so good to him and honestly, he doesnt deserve you

(his thoughts, not mine)

‘i-i’

he stuttered and you motioned him to continue

‘i won!’

he shouted and you congratulated him, even though he literally won all the time

guiding him to the chair, you began to dab his cuts

(dab that bitch)

‘im starting to think that your opponents either really suck or youre like the god of boxing’

he didnt know how to take that but blushed red at the mention of him being a ‘god of boxing’

‘nah, im just good’

you eyed him and smiled

he continued to watch you heal him and inspected your face

heavy eyebags and sunken cheeks, it mustve been a long night

he felt a pang in his chest thinking that you push your stuff away just to help him

‘you dont have to keep doing this for me, yknow’

you halt and look at him seriously

‘i know i dont. but i cant sleep at night thinking youre in pain and alone when i can be there for you’

even though he just realized it, jeno was pretty sure he fell in love with you a long time ago

but if it was possible, he fell in love with you even more

‘thank you’

his soft voice filled the silence and you vowed that you will always be there for him whenever he needs help

a few days later, jeno hasnt been to a fight

sure you were worried at what was going on in his head but partly relieved that you dont have to see him so battered anymore

but this was so un-jeno

just as you were about to talk to him about it, he announces he got a job at the bookstore down the street

‘huh? i thought you didnt want to work’

you question while he looked sheepish

‘i realized that i was starting to become a burden since you take care of me every time. so i thought i should quit and get a regular job. besides, it doesnt hurt as much’

he laughed but you didnt react

‘lee jeno, you gave up boxing and the money,,, for me?’

he nervously looked up at you and you noticed the redness of his cheeks

‘i-well-if you put it that way’

‘listen to me, im flattered and i truly love that you dont want to get beaten up anymore. but i dont want you to quit something you like because of me'

‘but you always take care of me and push your priorities away to clean me up. i dont do anything in return and i dont think its fair!’

he argued and a soft smile crept up your face

‘yah, lee jeno'

your voice became a whisper

‘it doesnt matter to me if you dont do anything in return bc i dont see this as a favor. you are mine to take care of and i will do anything for you, you understand that?’

he looked at you in shock after hearing your response

he also turned red at the mention of him being yours

‘so-but-i dont think-'

he stutters but you place your hands on his arms making him stop

‘all i ask is you to come back home, to come back to me'

by now, yall were blushing

even though it might not sound like it,

but yall just indirectly confessed to each other

yall stared at the ground and jeno looks up, biting his lip

‘hey, y/n, can i make it up to you with some coffee?’

your head darted up and looked at him with wide eyes

‘like-like a date?’

it came out suddenly and you stepped back in surprise, cursing yourself

but jeno chuckled, eyes scrunching cutely

‘it'll be one of many'

lmao i didnt really like this but i made it at 2 in the morning and i kinda like boxer!jeno

#lee jeno #jeno #jeno imagines #lee jeno imagines #boxer!jeno #nct dream jeno #nct dream jeno imagines #lee jeno scenarios #jeno scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #boxer!jeno imagines #roommate!nct dream #roommate!jeno #lee jeno fluff #jeno fluff #nct dream fluff

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hey-hamlet · 5 years

Text

BNHA AU Ideas: A Poor Bird

Also on AO3! (if you recognise the au it might be because I started a full fic which i abandoned because i realised a full canon retelling is l o n g. i’ll still probably write bits and pieces like the other AUs)

TL;DR: Izuku isn't quirkless. Not that Inko would ever let you know that.

AKA: Good dad Enji, bad mum Inko

TW: Child Abuse

Inko Quirk: Attraction of small objects Issues:

Many

Soooooooo many

Hisashi Quirk: All for one

Izuku Quirk: Push and Pull

Allows him to push objects away from him, or pull objects towards him.

If the object is heavier than him, the force acts on him instead

Injuries

Crush injures on the hand, never healed correctly

Limited range of movement + tremors

Issues

Feels horrifically ill if he uses his quirk, has flashbacks. Cant use it at all until he is trained by allmight

Can't remember his mother hurting him outside of flashbacks and nightmares. Only knows it happened bc katsuki can remind him

PTSD

Dislikes: Being called "cute" or being implied to be helpless but he can suck it up if hes not feeling too shitty.

Enji 47

First-year in All Might's final year.

Met Rei when he first reached the top ten, aged 22 and married her a year later, with fuyumi on the way just a quickly

Knows ab. All Mights other form

Rei 48

Does ballet!

Shouto 15

No scar

Yet, anyway. We can fix that.

Touya 19 Changes

A little less crispy fried, still scarred by his own quirk. Wears gold contacts undercover as Dabi

Natsuo

Studying Medicine

Fuyumi

She's a teacher!

Mushy Stuff feat. The Todoroki’s

enji is still number 2 hero. hes actually really nice? he just has a major case of resting bitch face. hes from a rich family, he got dragged out to a ballet to celebrate his becoming number 2 and he was whining we hes like, 21 and doesnt wanna see a ballet he just wants to go to work, or get drinks with his sidekicks. hes being a bit of a grump and his parents are living for their grumpy son bc he still has Round cheeks and hes adorable

anyway its been like, 20 minutes and the show finally starts and enji is like "god i can go home after this and s l e e p" but like, the lady comes out on stage and hes in love. tall, white hair and incredibly graceful. his mum has to hit him bc hes blushing so hard hes getting uncomfortably warm

after the show he like, breaks into her dressing room. hes got his hands clamped over his eye and he like "oh my god im so sorry if you are changing i promise im not looking i just have somewhere to be after this but please what do i have to do to get you to agree to go to dinner with me"

and rei is r e d bc the grouchy number 2 hero has burst into her dressing room and hes bright red and his hair is smouldering slightly and she just laughs and pulls his hands away from his eyes and tells him she'd love to. enji just walks out, faintly dazed with rei's number on his phone and hes so ridiculously happy he cant stop his hair from smoking

anyway, they date, they get married etc

but rei's ballet company is threatening to drop her if she has kids bc she wont be "perfect" anymore and she's torn up about it bc enji started dating her because of ballet and what if he hates her? but enji is like ",,, i kinda,,, love you? plus you and our hypothetical kids with be gods gift to this earth. i will buy you a whole ballet company if i have to"and shes crying and everything is soft

she has fuyumi and she is the worlds most perfect baby and enji is the most protective dad on this planet

then she has dabi bc she wanted fuyumi to have a sibling and dabi is born w his quirk and sneezes embers and enji is crying because his son is perfect

and then they have another kid bc they are sickeningly in love and their children are all wonderful and they have natsuo who likes to eat not food things and rei loves her chunky toddler. enji is crying because "hes gonna be such a big strong man" and also because natsuo keeps trying to eat his flaming beard

and then they have shouto bc "fuck it more children” hes born and rei is crying bc "look he looks just like you enji!" and enji is crying because "rei he looks just like you,,," and fuyumi is crying bc she has another little brother, dabi is trying not to cry bc hes a big strong 5 yearold and natsuo is like,,, 3 and hes trying to est his baby brothers hair and hes perfect

also!!! dabi is a double agent. he loves his dad v much and is pretending to be a villain to keep him and the rest of his family safe

enjis that dad that’s so fucking embarrassing and he does it on purpose?? during the sports festival he’s in his seat and he’s just “sHOUTOOOO” everyone turns and they’re just ???? todoroki s bright red but he’s yelling back

“wHAT”

endeavour, making a lil heart with his hands: “i love you and i’m very proud of you ♥️”

hi please enji sending photos of his kids to allmight all the time. all might fucking adores these little children and sends them so much random merch bc they are so fucking cute. he holds natsuo who’s trying to eat his weird bunny ear hair and he’s just

i love,,,these kids,,,

natsuo is a Chunky Boy. hes a toddler with the density of lead, hes so fucking heavy and round and allmight adores him. shouto looks at you judgingly even as a baby and allmight feels personally attacked

Pre canon + Training arc

in this au, izuku has a stronger version of his mothers quirk. like, really good telekinesis and he wants to be a hero! she hits him if he uses his quirk, makes him say hes quirkless and weak, says she just wants to protect him. she withholds food to keep him "perfect" because

"your father ruined me, now im all covered in ugly stretch marks and im disgusting, but ill make you perfect"

inko makes izuku wear feminine clothes and keep his hair long bc shes kinda trying to make him into like, the perfect version of her? and she always threatens to scrub izukus "fathers" freckles off his face with steel wool

shes ,,, conflicted about Katsuki

(katsuki knows something is up w inko and izuku so hes not terrible)

because she doesnt want her "perfect" sweet son to become brash like Katsuki but she kinda,,, likes her son being the damsel in distress that has to be saved by his stronger friend? and thinks that if izuku has a guard he won't need to be strong himself if they play in her house, inko is the villain, katsuki is the hero and izuku has to be the hostage that needs to be saved.

izuku tells katsuki about his quirk one day and he mentions it in front of inko. katsuki is almost thrown out of the house and he can hear izuku screaming from inside, and hes trying to get through the door bc his friend his crying and its not his fault. he stays there with this ear pressed against the door for hours. izuku stops crying after 45 minutes, inko starts saying shes sorry after 3 hours

inko crushed her son's hands

inko needs her hands for her quirk to work and assumes izuku does too? So she methodically crushes every finger and his wrists to try to ruin his ability to use his quirk. izukus hands heal but he cant write without it hurting and that makes him really upset bc he loves to draw. its the only thing that his mum lets him do that he enjoys. inko says sorry but she still blames him

"im sorry it hurt honey but mummy had to do it, you understand right?"

from that day forward katsuki starts training to be a hero bc he doesnt want anyone getting hurt like izuku ever again. he helps izuku train too in secret, they work together to lie because izuku wants to he a hero, and if he can survive his mother? he can do anything.

after that time w inko he cant use his quirk. like, physically? he can, but he has panic attacks and freezes up if he tries. basically izuku gets bullied for being quirkless, but not by Katsuki

ep 1 happen kind like normal. izuku asks "can i be a hero without a quirk?" allmight says no but he manages to use his quirk to save katsuki and katsuki hugs him as he cries, izuku pulls katsuki from the sludge villain w his quirk, allmight saves the day

the heroes are like, 2 secs from scolding izuku for using his quirk but the boy is having a horrific panic attack and they would feel bad ab it. also katsuki looks like hes gonna commit real actual murder if someone so much as touches izuku so they awkwardly walk away

allmight confronts izuku ab. the whole "i though you were quirkless" thing and izuku has another panic attack and all might feels terrible izuku is basically apologising for having a quirk??? that that sits really badly w toshi so he asks izuku if he can help him and katsuki train to be heroes and izuku cries and says yes

izuku looks at the time and starts crying again and allmight is like??? did i do something wrong???

izuku is sobbing that he doesnt wanna go home because "she'll be so angry" and toshi is like,,, holy shit im just gonna steal this child i guess but izuku convinces him hes overacting and izuku runs home, after toshi gives him his phone number and stresses that izuku is allowed to call even for "stupid" reasons

mitsuki is confused that katsuki looks so worried hes like,, pacing and he keeps sticking his head outside to look over the balcony to the street and checking his phone bc izuku hasnt told him what happened yet and hes scared that inko finally snapped and hurt him too badly to recover from

inko??? wasnt happy

shes beating izuku with heavy stuff and asking him if he thinks shes a terrible mother or something. izuku is crying because hes sorry and he didnt mean to use his quirk he was just scared. inko starts crying and is patching him up and says that she only hurts him because she loves him and wants him to be happy and perfect . izuku doesnt get food for 2 days after that, he has to sneak out to train w katsuki and all might. all might actually asks katsuki ab. it

"his mother is fucking crazy. my mum doesnt believe me but shes batty. lost it when her husband left and is trying to keep izuku like a fucking doll, its creepy"

izuku tends to wear gloves of long sleeves, or draws over his hands bc they are c o v e r e d in scares. on a particularly bad training day izuku cant hold his water bottle and he cant stop himself tearing up so katsuki holds the bottom for it and izuku is so embarrased and gratful and all might wants to cry because who hurt this kid???

like,, three? months into the training izuku comes up to all might and the kid is shaking and pale but he looks so determined and he says in the softest voice "i want to start training my quirk" and all might smiles like the sun

Entrance Exam

So allmight has already given his quirk to Mirio, he and nighteye made up. Hes out heroing, saves izuku from the sludge villain, Izuku doesn’t cling on but there is something ab the way Izuku looks at him that worries allmight so he stays to answer his question and runs out of time. Izuku asks if he can be a hero w/o a quirk, allmight hesitates. Izuku just quietly says "its ok, thank you for your time" and leaves. All might feels terrible.

He realises the sludge villain is gone, curses and runs towards the explosions. Izuku is wandering around trying to find Katsuki and sees the sludge villain has him. W/o wasting a moment he runs towards him, trying to pull him free. He uses his quirk to pull him out by the shirt and stands infront of katsuki to try to keep him safe. Allmgiht rushes in to help.

The heroes try to tell Izuku off but katsuki just yells at them and they hurry away. They run into Yagi and he tries to talk to Izuku but katsuki just yells at him. Allmight explains his form thing and tells izuku he can totally be a hero but oh hey werent you quirkless?

Katsuki is ab. To rip Allmights head off, izuku just explains he doesn’t much like his quirk. All might asks if he can help train the two of them to be heroes and they agree 100%. Izuku has to run home and leaves Katsuki w allmight. Katsuki tells him he'll need to look after Izuku and walks off in the same direction. Allmight is l o s t

Izuku gets beaten byhis mother for using his quirk, sneaks out to train with yagi and katsuki. Yagi is worried but there isnt much he can do. Mirio and Sir show up sometimes to chat w allmight and help training, All might admits hes going into teaching bc hes going to have to retire soon and Izuku tells him he'll be amazing at it, katsuki just roasts allmight

Day of the entrance exam mirio wishes them both good luck .

Izuku has told his mother hes taking the gen-ed written exam and has permission to go get food with katsuki afterwards. He has applied for gen-ed and the hero course and honestly doesn’t believe he'll get into heroics but he has to try.

Someone pushes him, Occhako catches him, they all say hello and enter the written exam hall. Izuku finds it easy as pie so hes honestly kinda worried that hes missing something (hes not, hes just smart). There is a moral dilema at the end of the test and he answers it in a way that concerns the markers (in a self esteem kinda way)

So they enter the auditorium and and izuku finds out he isnt in katsukis arena which makes im panic, but he tells him to suck it up because hes a grown as teenager and can handle himself which cheers izuku up. Iida calls them out for talking.

At the arena hes having a quiet breakdown, sees ochako and lights up, goes to talk to her but Iida tells him off for being a trouble maker. Someone in the crowd snidly asks "when did they start letting 12-year-old girls take the exam" and izuku feels like dirt. Mic calls start and his fight/flight is so overreactive he throws himself straight into the exam

Pulling rubble and crap w great force through the robots, he gets around 20 points? But after a while he just shuts down. He feels sick and he hates his quirk and his mother and his hnds ache and he just c a n t do it anymore.

Aizawa watches this kid in arena 4 crumple to the ground and he spares a moment to be sad for the kid. He looked promising, but its not the first time someone has cracked under the pressure durring the entrance exam. He sees allmgiht looking saddened out of the corner of his eye, locked on the screen, and thinks maybe this kid is why he asked to be excluded from the judging team.

Izuku sees the zero pointer and cant even bring himself to run away. But then he hears ochako cry out and instantly sprints towards her.

He pulls himself into the air and pulls as many shards of scrap metal and rebar as he can, and pulls them with all his might through the 0 pointer, turning into a giant pincusion. He runs out of energy, and just lets himself fall.

Aizawa feels his heart sink bc the kid is smiling.

Ochako saves him at the last moment, and hes miraculously uninjured but so out of energy he can barely stand. Recovery girl hands him gummies which he gratefully accepts and drags himself out of the exam. He meets katsuki by the entrance. He sees his tiny mess of a friend, pale and shakey but smiles and he picks him up and hugs him even though he will deny it till the day he dies. izuku is sure he failed but for one moment, using his quirk? he just felt so complete and free that he doesnt mind if he fails, just because he got to enjoy that one moment. bakugo tells izuku that hes gonna drag him into the hero course by his hair and izuku giggles

They go get food bc they need some relief.

Izuku doesn’t think he's in the heroics department but is hopeful anyway.

he and bakugo spend the week waiting for their letters "studying" for ua (aka, designing hero costumes, coming up with names, planning the fuck out of everything bc they are both crazy nervous and will never admit it)

inko hands izuku his mail and izuku is so nervous because if she looked? its game over but she just smiles happily and tells him to tell her if he got into gen ed. or not so they can invite the bakugo's over to celebrate

izuku walks calmly until his mum is out of sight, then he tears down the hall, stuffs a towel under the door and opens his letter under his blankets so she cant hear it. its allmgiht on the screen and he cries.

and he got in and he cries some more

and then he has a quick panic attack becuase holy shit this is a lot of lies hes going to have to spin because he came first in the entrance exam. his mum asks him if he got in and hes so grateful that his voice doesnt shake when he cries, as he says back "i got into gen. ed mum!!"

He finds out he got in and he starts to panic bc what is he going to tell his mum? Some point later Inko yells at him for just sitting around so he runs out of the house and to a cat café, and hes just sobbing because his face hurts from where she slapped him and he just wants to get out of the rain.

Shinso sees this kid, curses his heroic instincts and pays for 2 hours for him and the mystery kid. He just wanted to wallow in self pity for failing the exam he knew he was going to fail, but now hes got a crying kid to deal with

So turns out the kid is his age and is called Midoriya. As only izuku can do, hes shinso spilling his guts ab the hero course and his quirk in around 20 minutes. Izuku explains a bit about what his mother did to him, and that he got into the hero course but if his mother finds out hes scared shitless of what she'll do.

Shinsou’s family before Aizawa was shit, he gets it. And he sees this cute green-haired sobbing kid gently kiss a fat tabby on the top of its little head and decides he'd die for him.

They plot that they'll change shirts at the start of the day so inko doesn’t see the hero course shirt, and shinso will quickly tell him what they were doing in gen ed on the train home. Shinso does urge izuku to get help but izuku declines. His mother is sick and she's trying her best. She still loves him. Izuku is scared of who his dad is.

And it's not like anyone ever believed his soft, kind-looking mother could hurt her own son.

First day + Quirk Apprehension Test

Inasa is a recommendation student, along with Momo and Todoroki, was placed in Aizawa class bc his quirk is kinda wack.

Class does not contain Hagekure, Mineta is expelled

like, first day of school shinso is waiting down the road for izuku and bakugo is like,,, ha????? and shinso is like "oK So i have the hero course shirt, change behind a tree like a bunch of weirdos or wait for school" and izuku is like,,, “as much as my anxiety wants to change now so we wont be late i think kacchan might murder us if we change behind a tree" and bakugo is like??? "YeaH and WHO ARE YOU EXACTLY"

anyway! they take the bus and shinso explains that the bonded over a chubby tabby and that hes agreed to be izuku alibi and katsuki looks him up and down like ",,, you pass" and izuku giggles and shinso feels happy bc he didnt know the boy could giggle and its such a soft noise

anyway, izuku and shinso sprint into school to find a bathroom to change in, izuku tries not to cry on his hero shirt. they then proceed to speed walk to the correct class bc the other students have shown up and they dont wanna get yelled at. katsuki told izuku he could walk himself to class because "youre a big boy now" and izuku laughs again

izukus anxiety vs trauma is a continuous war bc anxiety says "hide behind friends" but trauma says "dont be weak and pathetic like inko says you are or shes been right the whole time"

izuku gets into class, bakugo is busy trying to scare iida bc iida is Really Getting On His Nerves. iida says hi to izuku and izuku almost cries before iida says that he was sorry for being a dick and then izuku almost cries again but bc hes happy

ochako bursts in like "OH MY GOD THE CUTE ONE GOT IN" and izuku is Red and like (a lil trauma but he shoves that way deep down) and says hi. aizawa crawls in and scares the actual shit out of everyone but izuku finds him super calming? bc hes just so fucking blunt and he doesnt have to look for double meanings

anyway, izuku gets called up to do the throw bc he came first and hearing aizawa say "use your quirk" made a cold sweat run through him but bakugo gave him a thumbs up so he felt a little better. The boy gets a crazy score. izuku gets a great score on all the stuff he can use his quirk for, but hes got terrible stamina/strength bc hes just so thin. hes placing like, first quarter of the class

so they finish, mineta gets kicked out

allmight is watching from behind a bush bc look at his boys go!!! his yelly boy and his crying boy!!. aizawa holds izuku back at the end of class, bakugo doesnt wanna leave him but tenya pushes him to the locker room

"so kid. thats a great quirk youve got there"

and izuku,,, really doesnt like talking about his quirk. he doesn't like using it. he and bakugo drew vines on his hands this morning to cover up the scars and hes tracing his fingers along them to keep himself from shaking.

aizawa looks him dead in the eye

"mind telling me why you are registered as quirkless?"

and izuku freezes. he cant breathe.

aizawa is waiting and his irritation turns to alarm when he realizes the kid i s n t m o v i n g. all might has seen izuku freak out before so he swoops in and sits izuku down on the ground and tries to get the kid to breath. he does but hes still shaking and all he'll stay is "im sorry" and "not again"

aizawa is very much shaken because izuku seemed pretty normal? then he remembered the kid shinso was talking about. allmight calls bakugo who runs back out onto the field, half in uniform and half in costume and hes trying to calm izuku down and he looks like,,, 2 seconds away from ripping aizawa head off and aizawa honestly thinks hes kinda deserves it lmao

its nearing the end of school and izuku isnt even down from his panic attack yet but bakugo n e e d s shinso to get over here so they can swap shirts or izuku is going to be in even more trouble than he already is. so bakugo is trying to get izuku to respond to anything, allmight has his hand on his not sons shoulder, aizawa feels like a piece of shit, and bakugo is trying to find shinso's contact number in izuku's phone

some of class a goes to look outside and aizawa lays into the and tells them to hurry up to class or he'll expell them all with mineta

anyway shinso comes running out bc his teacher is mic and is willing to let him do dumb stuff and shinso is like??? dad its been 1 day what did you do to the cat kiss boy?? shinso allmight and bakugo get izuku responsive enough that bakugo takes him to swap his shirts in the changing rooms and helps izuku clean up so its not obvious he was crying. shinso gets izukus stuff from his classroom. aizawa just turns to all might

“ok so what the fuck was that"

all might honestly shrugs "i barely know myself. kid has serious quirk trauma and is scared of his mother, thats all i can tell you" and aizawa is both concerned and annoyed bc ofcourse thsi si in his class

izuku and bakugo get home, alls good

Battle Trial

battle trial! its,,a ride

basically! izuku has his lil costume and ochako tells him he looks really cute and hes grateful + trauma. bakugo tells him he looks like hes ready to bust some heads which makes him feel better. todoroki is with iida on the villain team

they are chatting happily about have hero families and being melodramatic about being evil

Izuku is paired with inasa!

so izuku cant directly use his quirk on himself, but he can "push" against the ground, which sends him up. its useful for dodging but not sustainable

anyway, they work out that inasa's wind doesnt effect izukus telekinesis

basically:

izuku makes some dust, they roll in, todoroki is out and looking for them. he torches the dust but gets hit by a pebble to the temple. inasa is like, 100% impressed. they wrap todoroki up and inasa says sorry to his half/half bro. todoroki shrugs. bakugo is like, internally cheering and he has the most murderous smile

anyway, iida is melodramatic, inasa looses it laughing bc hes so funny and takes a big ol kick to the face. hes down, probs concussed but iida cant get in to tie him up because he almost gets squished by the currently moving bomb bc its paper mache its light and easy for izuku to pull on

iida decides he should probably take down izuku before anything happens, but at the last moment izuku pushes off the ground, dodging over iida and lightly tapping the bomb

hero team wins!!!

inasa and todoroki are both concussed which is awkward but its all g. izuku gets MVP but iida was a close second. bakugo like, friendly punches izuku in the arm and hes hiding behind bakugo bc people are looking at him but hes very happy

someone says "wow, your quirk is amazing" and hes like,,, "oh there goes my good mood." allmight and bakugo are about to tell this kid to shut the fuck up but get beaten to it by a concussed todoroki of all people

"its not the quirk its how he uses it you overipe melon"

izuku giggles until he cant breathe and bakugo is cackling. concussed todoroki looks so pleased with himsel

bakugo and kiri are teams up and they kick actual ass as the villains. like, crazy good, they take out the heroes and dont even have to let it run over time

because "if we win? we do it right."

izuku is like doing these little happy bounces and inasa is crying bc his partner is so pure

izuku and shinso meet up, change, go home

U.S.J.

Happens like 3 weeks in, not 3 days in. They need time to bond ok. Before the trip we get some general hyjinks.

the next day, its field trip time baby!!!

inasa makes izuku sit with him and todoroki and its a tight fucking fit bc they are sharing 2 seats. inasa has like,,, claimed this boy because he was so soft and izuku has a friend!! and hes very happy. hes like,, a little scared of todoroki but also kinda loves him for the overripe melon comment so

Kurogiri yeets the villains into the usj. allmight is out of time, aizawa runs in like normal. inasa, izuku and tsuyu get sent to the shipwreck zone. they do some cool shit honestly. inasa holds the 3 of them in the air, tsuyu hold the villains together as izuku yeets them into the hull of the ship and seals the hold and hopes the villains dont really care enough to break a hole in the ship. Inasa gets them all to shore

then they get to witness the nomu and izuku sees the punch thrown? and he moves without thinking, using all of his quirk he can to hold to nomus fist back. after he moves, inasa joins in, pushing the nomu back as much as the can. aizawa punches shigiraki and he gets m a d. shigiraki breaks the capture weapon and sends the nomu after tsuyu. inasa, who was closer, pushes her out of the way and takes the hit. its just like, 1 blow? but hes down to the count. aizawa tells tsuyu to take him and run

izuku wants to throw up

aizawa tries to get him to run but the nomu charges again and izuku has to pull aizawa out of the way. all they can do is play keep-away and aizawa is frustrated because no matter the training he has, he can't stand up to this thing. all he can do is rely on izuku's quirk, because the quirk can move faster than a human can. shigiraki gets sick of this, kurogiri uses momentum to send aizawa to the other side of the usj with kiri and Bakugo. they begin to run back to the plaza. izuku is scared, slips up, takes a hit. hes down, with broken ribs and his quirk is nearing overuse

shigiraki sees this kid's broken hands, laughs and makes the nomu crush them again

bakugo blasts in, grabs izuku. todoroki has the nomu trapped in ice, aizawa wraps izukus hands with what he was left of his capture weapon

all might bursts in. he has more of his quirk left bc he hasnt passed it on yet, takes out the nomu and has enough strength to still be standing. shigiraki goes to attack, and izuku basically uses the last of his strength to pull allmight towards him, then he collapses

the other heroes arrive with endeavour! because he was patrolling nearby and got the alert. is his agency in hosu? Yep! do i care? nope hes here to see his son!

aizawa is like, moossttlylyy ok? shigiraki got to his arm and he's got scrapes and sprains from being yeeted around by izuku's quirk but he's pretty ok. inasa has a punctured lung but is stabilized quickly. izukus bones arent fractured? but hes got a pretty bad crush injury to both hands + cracked ribs and low blood sugar. bakugo rides w him back to ua

shinso is there and hes a little panicky bc his dad and bro were in a villain attack. nezu comes into recovery girls office and is like "oh its ok! ive contacted everyone’s parents and they should be here soon" and bakugo is like "YOU DID WHAT"

nezu sweating ",,, what do you mean this is what im ment to do"

and allmight cringes; aizawa, on painkillers, is like, pretty concerned; bakugo is enraged. izuku isnt breathing. hes frozen, crying silently and hes perfectly still and it breaks recovery girls heart

hes got a big bruise of the side of his face, fyi

bakugo doesnt want to leave but recovery girl orders him out, all might gets made to leave as well. soon the only people left are inasa (unconscious) izuku (catatonic) and aizawa (guilty)

inko walks in. shes smiling. she grabs izuku by the hand, "its ok honey, mummy's here now!"and aizawa?? hes trying not to judge but he gets a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. inko pulls izuku from the bed by his crushed hand and izuku is silent. she has a hand wrapped around the back of his neck as she leads him out of the school

bakugo is at home and hes begging his mother to let him see izuku bur his mother wont let him because inko has been through something stressful and doesnt need you yelling! and bakugo is angry because shes never believed him about inko. he throws his plate against the wall and looks mitsuki dead in the eyes

"you'll regret that tomorrow. you'll regret that when you see what shes done to him"

his door slams

the day after the usj zuku isnt in school. shinso is waiting at the end of his street but only bakugo shows up. he looks defeated

"lets just go"

shinso spends the whole day in the hero course shirt

aizawa isnt surprized, loads of kids didnt show up to school the day after the usj, even non-hero kids, but then izuku isnt there the next day. bakugo is pacing, tugging at his hair as he waits for aizawa to show up. inasa looks lost, todoroki looks faintly confused, shinso is in the classroom, didnt leave to go to his own because bakugo doesnt know where midoriya is and hes waiting for aizawa

aizawa walks in with the bell. no izuku. his heart sinks. He looks around, and walks straight back out of class, sends mic to cover for him. he tells nezu. nezu has a terrible feeling and asks him and allmight to perform a wellness check. allmight uses his hero form, even though he doesnt have much time to waste, because this isnt a waste

they arrive at inkos house, they knock and she opens the door. shes smiling and asks if they would like to sit down, if they want some tea. there is blood under her fingernails

aizawa aks to use the bathroom, sneaks into midoriyas room. the kid is locked to the bed in the dark and aizawa wants to throw up bc he can smell blood and infection

inko took steel wool and scrubbed "off" every bruise on midoriya's skin to make him "clean" again

every mark

every cut

his hands are, oddly, untouched with their horrible crush marks healed by recovery girl as priority, but the side of his face, his ribs cage, the cuts on his arms and legs and back are raw. no skin, sticky blood dripping onto the sheets. aizawa goes over to izuku and he honestly smells like rotting meat because his room is hot and he has massive open injuries that are super infected. he tries to shake izuku awake and realizes the kid is burning. izuku fliches and is trying to pull away from aizawa, opening cuts and pulling at his wounds. hes so quiet aizawa wants to cry. he gently pats izukus hair and tells him he'll be safe now

hes walks out of the room and throws inko from the couch onto the floor, cuffing her. allmight is shocked, inko is screaming. aizawa cuffs inko to a couch and drags all might into izukus room and all might wants to cry

because, something aizawa hadn't noticed, every single piece of hero merch izuku owned has been ripped from its hiding place and crushed and torn on the floor. all might oh so gently breaks the cuffs holding into down and gently, gently picks him up. he cant stop the tears

izuku lets out the softest "im so sorry sensei" and aizawa has to leave the room. he sucker punches inko, calls nezu and an ambulance. inko is, thank god, unconscious now and the house is so quiet

so quiet aizawa can hear all might crying

mitsuki runs in bc she thinks her tiny friend is getting hurt and she sees her sons teacher sitting with his head between his legs on the floor like hes trying not to cry. he just points and she sees the number 1 hero holding this red and broken boy and she screams. she has to run back out to throw up into the kitchen sink

she calls Katsuki. hes sitting in class, most of the class is pacing or doodling, or chatting. mic doesn't have the heart to try and teach them but he also isn't cleared to tell them whats going on because he doesnt know

bakugos phone rings and the kid tears open his bag. all mistuki says it "im so sorry" and bakugo throws his phone into the wall so hard it shatters

mic like, yells bc a kid just shattered his phone and bakugo leaps over his desk to get to the door. mic grabs him by the collar

"hey listener? what do you think you're doing?"

bakugo is white and clammy

"let go." "listener?" "let. go."

mic drops him and bakugo tears down the hall, he kicks open shinsou's door and hauls him out of the room. midnight tries to stop him but bakugo is basically already off school grounds. shinso doesn't even need to ask, he can guess

they are running as fast as the can, faster than either of them have ever run. they don't even bother with the stairs, bakugo uses his quirk to haul them both up the side. bakugo and shinsou try to run in but aizawa just grabs them and pulls them close, he won't let them pass. aizawa isn't even angry but he won't let go of them, like hes scared someone will hurt another of his students, mitsuki drags Bakugo to her side and just holds him like she used to when he got hurt them he was little. the house is silent other than random crying, sirens in the distance

the ambulance comes and they come to take izuku but all might doesn't want to let go of this kid he's failed so badly, so he gently carries him all the way down and lays him on the stretcher. there is blood caked on his suit jacket

ok so as an fyi? izukus injuries arent terrible but hes missing a lot of skin. still has cracked ribs, has a serious infection and is critically dehydrated from fluid loss due to lost skin, plus the fact he hasn't been given food or water for 2 days

it's not the injuries that are the problem, its the dehydration/fever

1A is shaken. mic is shaken and 20 minutes after bakugo runs out? nezu announces that classes have been cancelled for the day and that students may remain on campus if they have no other way home and mic??? the guy is shaken. his husband is missing, all might left, nemuri says bakugo took shinso too

mic has to tell the class school is cancelled, 1 hour into the day but he can't tell them why because he doesn't know. momo, uraraka and kouda just kinda, start to cry bc they can feel something terrible has happened

todoroki invites everyone over to his house until school would have normally ended. they get over to shoutos house and hes like "so,,, you all wanna know whats happened right?" and he gets a bunch of silent nods. he just kinda, says a preemptive sorry to the pic of his dad on the wall and breaks open his hero office door. 1A is crowded around the computer as shouto, momo and tenya are scanning for anything in alerts and shouto stops and points

"minimal security transport and medical assistance to mustutafu, rapid response requested."

they click on it

Heroes Responding: Eraserhead (underground), All Might Civilian Involvement: 2 Adults (stable, no medical response) 3 Children (2 stable, 1 unknown. medical response requested) Villain: N/A Alert Type: Domestic Violence

tenya has to walk away. so does inasa and todoroki

Endeavour storms in bc "shouto, why did you break into my personal office-" and he sees these kids and they looks broken and his son just clings to him. he feels his heart drop, because he doesnt know whats happened, but its not fucking good

w recovery girl + iv fluids and antibiotics, izuku heals up pretty quick but hes got some big scars. shallow but red and angry looking

school doesnt start again until next Wednesday, 7 days after the usj and the dorms have been built

bakugo and shinso wouldn't leave izuku. like, aizawa threatened to expel Bakugo and he still wouldn't go. when izuku wakes up, his two brothers are holding his hands and he cries because hes alive and they are there

so, dorms

everyone swarms izuku bc that's the soft man who they love who saved them in the usj and also they thought he was dead for a hot minute and izuku is crying and there are hugs. aizawa is very fond of his dumb children and they train for the sports festival

U.A. Sports Festival

Events

Event 1 : Battle Royal

so like, battle royal w a shrinking perimeter. 3 hits and you’re out. A hit is contact with another person, thrown object or quirk.

they all wear like these rly uncomfortable body suits that register touches anywhere bc nezu is a nightmare. they all fucking hate these things and nezu is cackling be he had them made but no one would let him use them

during the event, bakugo yells "MAKE IT THROUGH AND SHOW THOSE CHUCKLE FUCKS WHAT 1A IS MADE OF” a resounding yell of “FUCK YEAH” echos through the examinees

no matter what nezu does, not a single member of 1A lands a hit on another. like, bakugo trips and izuku uses his quirk to get him out of the range f kirishima

all of 1A makes it through. all of them. every single one, followed by half of 1B, plus 10ish mixed gen ed and support kids

gen ed, absolutely disgusted: “it’s clear ua favours 1a”

inasa, outraged and very loud: “sAY THAT TO MY FACe”

please, during the fight izuku goes to throw a punch at the person in front of him, they turn around and all he can see its purple hair and eyes and he cant. he uses his quirk to push himself away from shinso

izuku like,,, takes out most of the people bc he yeets people at eachother. he and inasa protect everyon from 1A! todoroki and bakugou team up, double the fire power. ochako is sad bc she cant help bc she cant touch her class mates so she yeets rocks at people. sato / kiri / bakugo make a sit tone of rubble for her, inasa makes a wind vortex above 1A, then she drops it. thats how they take out almost everyone

Event 2: Blind Tag

after the event their costumes light up. half red, half white. the anouncment is just "red is it. if you are still it in 10 minutes you dont move on. good luck" the area turns pitch b l a c k. all natural light is gone so all you can see is the glowing suits (the audience can see bc they have heat cams) and cementoss adds some varying terrain.

- not gonna lie? it wasnt going to be blind tag but nezu didnt want the last fight to be just 1A

izuku is it he tags someone then avoids being tagged again

inasa is not it. he floats in a corner for like, the whole game but gets hit by ibara near the end

bakugo and todoroki are both not it and team up to make a firey circle of hell, they make it through

shinso does too and hes a really cool fight that no one but him and the audience get to see. he ends up choking this guy out, tags him and sprints away

Event 3: Tournament

momo/monoma, shinso/shoji, tsuyu/kendo, jiro/kuroiro, todoroki/hatsume, iida/awase, bakugo/kirishima, izuku/ochako

momo/iida, todoroki/shinso, izuku/tsuyu, bakugo/jiro

iida/izuku, shinso/bakugo

bakugo/izuku > Izuku wins

Vs. Hero Killer

Interns with Nighteye and Mirio as they do special training w gran. Working with Endeavours agency to find herokiller. Nomu attack, Nighteye tells Mirio to get Izuku to safety, Izuku tells Mirio ab. Iida. Another Nomu corners them, after internal deliberation Mirio tells izuku to go after Iida. Finds Iida, sends location.

Two Heroes

For one, Mirio and Nighteye are there, along with Izuku.

Forest Training Camp

They take Izuku too, because he was holding Bakugo's hand

Nighteye asks to see Allmight's future and allmight declines. Hes going to do it no matter what the future says, and he refuses to set it in stone by seeing it

Mirio is part of the rescue squad, 50% bc he's the one who will take the fall for the whole thing with his license. Besides, he knows about All for One, and it's his duty as a wielder of One for All to at least try to help his mentor.

"I mean, I could have just taken the boy's arm. But those nasty scars tell me hes very much seen the worst humanity has to offer. Perhaps he'd like to join as well."

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colorisbyshe · 4 years

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ur right abt jet. atla is selective abt redemption arcs. zukos was rly good, the results of irohs were a big deal, ty lee & mai got that too (sidenote i think ty lee + mai shouldve gotten together), but iroh seemed to have little empathy for azula, seeing her as too far gone and all? unlike how he saw zuko. and zuko didnt have his mom or shitty dad but he had iroh, while azula only had ozai, ofc shes gonna get fucked up. its like they just didnt rly try to address her as worthy of redemption idk

apparently there was supposed to be a forth season where azula got redeemed or some shit?

i would trade iroh’s redemption in azula and jet to get “redemptions” (altho how much jet needed to be redeemed is debatable imo). like have iroh die at the hands of an earthbender who recognizes him and maybe lost someone to his almost 2 years of terrorism and have zuko be sad about it but maybe release, “oh, he was a villain to many people. him being a good person to me doesn’t make him beloved to evryone else” EVEN after all iroh did. have zuko realize that had he gone far enough with his original goals, he would’ve reached ap oint he NEVER could have come back from, not to the actual people of hte lands

like even have zuko crying at whoever did it only to be humbled and thoughtful when told about the lives iroh took and how easily he was able to overlook that because “lol iroh loevs tea”

and have jet and azula, mere kids, redeemed

jet already said “yeah we’re not doing that shit again” and his ONLY “bad act” after that was... trying to turn in zuko, so just have him... continue to not flood villages? have him enlist in a kyoshi warrior-esque program where he’s defending territory and families without being an offensive actor if you REALLY need to push the passive plotline like even aang was allowed to be violent defensively so that should be allowed for jet

and azula... have her break down and lose almost everything and then decide to dedicate teh rest of her life to doing outright good, relinquishing her power. have the plot outright confront the fact that her entire thing was about being fucked up by her father, give her good role models, give her someone that holds her to do BETTER and teaches her to love herself

have a plotline about how even love can be cruel and toxic. zuko was fucked up because he wa trying to EARN love. azula was fucked up ebcause she was given toxic love.

THERE IS SO MUCH ROOM FOR GROWTH AND LESSONS HERE!!

i just hate when shows for kids have kids being ultimately killed off unredeemed. i think that sends a horrible message that if they make bad choices or are even forced into bad choices, that’s on them for life. there are VERY few contexts where i think that’s helpful

#Anonymous

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transrightsjimin · 3 years

Text

was on the phone w my parents for 1 hour and almost 40 minutes today and on the one hand i think it was good to keep each other up to date on stuff and give them that social interaction they rly crave, but on the other hand i feel so fucking weird abt not saying anything when my mom talked abt having done smth very racist + pro-cop nd i was just so shocked and saddened but also didnt know what to say??

like she is in one of those neighbourhood whatsapp group chats ('buurtpreventie apps') (which are unfortunately rly popular in recent years), in which people from a certain street or flat contact each other to keep an eye on each other aka use it to report random black or arab people to the cops. which she did when two men were in her flat to collect money for charity nd apparently it was a scam bc the permit wasnt for that specific charity that week but just. my mom talking abt how she snitched on them nd the rest of the flat of even older people encouraging that, nd worst of all my mom going 'kijk dit klinkt vast een beetje racistisch maar het waren twee donkere mannen dus we dachten dat dat dezelfde waren als de oplichters waar we over hoorden' HELLO??? 🤢 like i had to say smth but then i fucking didnt bc i was just so weirded out and know how threatening my mom gets when shes criticized. like i just dont know how to get some sense or compassion into her head bc she's blocking it all. she used to be a socialist who even supported anarchists and protest state violence and now she's just.... vaguely in agreement w criticism of class structures but as soon as it's about strictness if tax authorities to the poor, or about racism, her support stops and ppl are criminal to her. it's so tiresome. so im frustrated i didnt say anything but then DID talk the ears if my dad's face by trying to explain where mask skepticism came from nd how the govt and conspiracy theorists were to blame for this and why they do this (money), but i was rambling too much prob nd my dad just doesnt follow anything bc old nd adhd nd former alcoholic (he also didnt understand what memes r which i realized too late after trying to tell him mama sent me a 13 page pdf w bad memes) nd so eventually he noted 'but please don't eh get into the opposite side of these conspiracy theories, believing in other ones' nd im just 🤦‍♂️ i prob sounded fuckingrly incomprehensible nd extreme to him??

he also asked me what i thought of the sylvana simons interview in the interview he gifted me nd i said i liked it but was side eyeing some repeated, rethorical questions she was asked abt 'extremist muslims!!'. he seemed more positive abt BIJ1 / sylvana than my mom who completely discredits them just solely based on the racist general public's treatment of her, whereas my dad seemed kind of curious but also tone policed how sylvana should have not sounded this angry and how he found it strange she kept bringing up 'minorities' and *very confused* ' l.. g... b...t ... q .. uhh'. which is still somehow better than my mom who immediately discredited her political party based on nonsense racists spout for years so i guess the bar is on the ground

nd ALSO me telling my dad contact w my mom is difficult was met w him relativating it by saying my mom is in severe pain bc chronic pains nd illnesses nd even worse lately, shes on her way to become deaf (p much is on one ear nd the other almost) nd was too stubborn to get a hearing aid (but then was more willing to in the end). but anyway his argument is not to be so harsh at mama for being so snappy bc shes in pain nd has bleeding intestines again nd hears these noises bc of her messed up ears so cant sleep etc and then theres just regular back and hip nd knee pains she has bc of deteriorating bones bc medication. like i get thats horrible nd i do get that thats why her moods change so much nd shes so scary to talk to but i dont think thats a reason to never ask her to maybe not say or do smth abusive or bigoted??

like at the time i was happy that they were finally a bit more satisisfied bc i talked to them for a long time but im just really so puzzled on what to say to them when they say smth horrible, like. i feel like i have to try to educate them nd not make them (especially my mom) move further to the right nd to racist rethoric. nd i dont even think her racist views changed that much (though she did luckily, though only somewhat, changed her mind on zwarte piet) but the netherlands is just so behind on shit that even acknowledging racism exists here is incomprehensible to ppl like her and enrages them so much bc its seen as a personal insult. like idk what to say to an old white woman who had threatened to slap me if i ever called her actions racist again, and who clearly believes in cops and antiblackness so much just like the average member of a buurtpreventie app, that calling cops on black men is justified to her. like idk how to change someones mind bc she never listened to me nd only gets aggressive nd i have to stay nice and never confront her actions bc shes in insufferable pain???? what about other disabled people who r in chronical pains and SUFFER bc of racism?? like white disabled people rly get a free pass on being shitty bc of feeling bad but the same mentality isnt applied to poc. like she's rly become a stubborn old adult who doesnt listen to / read what others state unless it doesnt challenge her views or if its on tv or whatsapp groups, nd anything confronting is met w insults or passive agressiveness. like idk how to educate ppl like that bc my parents (esp mom) clearly refuse to be open to that, and they dont use social media nd cant read the same level of english as me so all info has to be in dutch but also everything is seen as a personal insult or 'too elitist' language so i rly dont know what to do. like i want to be more than a fucking ally on only the internet nd maybe 1 or 2 protests per year, but idk how to get through the thick skulls of people 30-40 years older than me who r so hard to communicate w bc they dont get technology, social media, newer language, poc, lgbt stuff, cant read a lot of english nd stop reading at difficult words etc ???

#rambles #like im just lost #family stuff

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trailerparkflower · 5 years

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Borderline personality disorder + Steve Harrington?...

So I was thinking about how Steve acts in relationships, researched dependency from the partner and then found a lot of info about BPD, wich made me think what many of the disorder symptoms are very fitting to Steve and explains some things in his behaviour. Lets starts, guys!

Promiscuity.

All his teen life Steve been slutting around probably too scared for serious relationships (because its better that way, no one will leave him if he leaves them first), all charming and needy and touch-starved, calming down his desire for attention and affection.

Unstable relationships/idealization of the partner, lack of boundares.

Then he settled in the realationships with Nancy (who are brave and smart and oh, so stable), which turned out pretty much unhealthy from both of the sides, and Steve became so depended on his her to the point of breaking up his bounds with everyone else( including his probably childhood best friend Tommy) except her and planning all his life to revolve around Nancy.

Fear of abandoment, frantic efforts to avoid being alone.

He fears what Nancy will abandon him so much what he becomes even more clingy and needy, while she gains even more control in relationships and becomes a “top dog” (from Joe words). In ST1 we also see how insecure and jealous Steve was to Jonathan, his dramatic reaction on John and Nacny hug, jumping in conclusions without any evidences. He even breaks Jonathan camera in the begining just out of his “insecurity” (again, based on Joe interview), fear what Nancy and Jonathan have better understanding of each other. In other words, he afraid what Nacny will leave him for someone else and he will stay alone again. Steve Harrington canonically has big abandoment issues, probably cased by neglecting parents.

Needing attention+validation

Idk if I even should comment it. We all know what King Steve persona was build for getting attention, admiration and validation from others, know how much time Steve spends on his looks and hair, how pleased he is when Tommy and Carol have all eyes on him. When he doesnt get compliments from Nancy, he pouts and praises himself on his own because he needs that.... “see, a ninja”; “make sure you wont forget this pretty face”, ect. You ask me, Steve has the biggest praise kink in all Hawkins.

Inability to regulate emotion, difficultes with anger controlling. Impulsivity.

Steve is one yelling bitch. He is a soft boy, but when he gets really upset and angry, he becomes mean and yelly and acts without thinking. He tears apart his own essay because Nancy couldnt help him with it, he pouts, storms of the rooms, screams at people.

Getting upset easily + habit of blocking out intense painful emotions.

If you ask Steve how he doing, he probably will smile and say “peachy!”. Not because everything is really peachy, but because Steve prefers to ignore his own problems and things what makes him sad and pretend what everything is perfectly alright. He asks Nancy go to the movie and “pretend everything is normal for a few hours.”, says what his parents totally gave him hell for drinking beer but “who cares, screw them” and changes the theme. Tommy screams “run away, Stevie boy, like you always do!”, wich suggest us what Steve has a tendentions to avoid confrontations and stressful situations. He once again says Nancy go to the party and pretend to be normal teens in ST2 when she voices her concerns, and we see what ignoring problems and pretending is Steves constant coping mechanism for stress fear and sadness.

Distorted self-image.

Steves sense of self also seems to be instable and based on how people around him see him, like with Tommy he was a school bad boy, with Nancy he became a good guy, with Dustin he became a total soft dork as we see in ST3 trailer. He is unsure about his own goals, he doesnt knows who he is and who he wants to be, like wich job he prefers and what he likes to do in his life generally. Tending to base his own self on his relationships with other people, he gets complitely lost in the end of ST2 when Nancy is no longer with him.

Self-harm, self-desctuctive behaviour. Self damaging acts as drinking, drugs, vandalism.

Steve smokes, drinks, gets into the fights he cant win. Stands near Tommy when he writes about Nancy the slut and Jonathan the creep, runs away from cops. I would even say what his fight with Jonathan was quite maschostic, because Steve rilled him up and then barely protected himself and almost didnt resisted when Jonathan pushed him to the ground and started to punch non stop. Tbh for me it seemed like if Steve was so upset what he wanted some physical pain to blur his emotional one.

Dissociation, "zoning out"

Sometimes if you pay enough attention, you see Steve standing/sitting here with blank empty face. Usually it happens in stressful events, when he has some free time by himself. He also gets slow time to time, like hes habing hard time to concentrate. Cant be sure, but its does seems like zoning out. Im think there was even some parody video where people noticed what Steve sometimes gets blank faced and slow in the middle of the talk.

Paranoidal ideas, anixety, nervousness

Oh, this one is easy. You honestly wont find another ST character who is so full of anixety. He is fidgety, he hugs himself in a self-defense manner, he makes himself look smaller than he is, he constantly has the deer in the highlights look on his face, he cant think and act straight when he meets the Upside Down monster first time, so Jonathan even has to grab his hand and yank him to run. We also see how Steve is afraid of the goverment in the ST2, I would say its paranoidal behaviour-its seems like he does think what they are constantly being watched. Says what they will destroy their lives and families and changes the theme what Nancy wants to discuss.

In ST1 he is also ridiculously scared what his parents, dad especially, will find out what he drunk some beer, he gets so scared of this idea what he even calls Nancy and asks not to mention that to the cops, says what his parents will “Murder him”.

In ST2 he is also pretty freaked out by Billy, in basketball scene when he is pushed down and Billy holds his hand you can see what Steve is trembling and looks like he is going to cry. Im not joking guys, just rewatch the scene....Poor guy just cant have a rest!

Presistent feelings of emptiness & guilt

“I'm sorry? What the hell am I sorry for?”

No matter is he guilty or not, if Steve having a conflict with someone, most of the times he will feel guilty and be sorry, as we see in the show. He wants to apologize to Jonathan for telling him means things, saying, “I just wanna be good, make things right”, buys him new camera (and giving it to Nancy, not presenting it to Jonathan himself.), cleans local theatre, he says sorry to Nancy, calls himself a jerk, a shitty boyfriend (wich is kinda downgrading himself), wanting to bring her roses and say how sorry he is again. Dustin also easily kind of guilt trips (”you promised to protect us”) him to protect the party in the tonnels, while Steve clearly was against the whole thing, and feeling really unwell after getting his ass beaten by Billy.

Learning disability/scool problems. BPD can make it difficult for them to control the focus of their attention, to concentrate.

Steve plays it cool and pretends unbothered, but he actually tries hard to learn stuff. Even in ST1 we see in his room, what his table is covered by various homework papers. Its been shown what Steve having a hard time with study, what he is eager to be useful but not the smartest guy around, from his really chaotic essay and getting C-, to the Nazis comment. Its seems like he has some learning disability and doesnt even knows about it himself.

Its also a known hinted fact what Steve doesnt have a good relationships with his parents, especially with strict father, he even calls him a “grade A asshole”. By their absence in the series, when we saw all the main character families, Steve remains all alone in big house, wich makes us think about how neglecting they are. The thing is, “people with BPD have been found to be significantly more likely to having been abused by parents.”

During development, Joe Keery and the Duffers spoke about “what kind of family life [Steve] comes from and maybe this girl Nancy is quiet and listens in a way that other people haven't listened to him at this point.”-wich is pretty fitting to the portrayal of “neglecting, denying the validity of childnren thoughts and feelings parents”-that type of the bad parenting what BPD people mostly experenced.

“Parents were also reported to have failed to provide needed protection and to have neglected their child's physical care”, what gaves us the possible reason of Steves constant anixety and running away from the problems issues.

So, while we dont know can it be canon or not, I would say what there is high possibilities what Steve has BPD.

#steve harrington #BPD #character meta #stranger things #long post #harringrove

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beesmygod · 5 years

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this is what riverdale is about (part 4)

part 1

part 2

part 3

i’m back, to continue from where we left off. obnoxiously, i’m going to take a minute to plug my patreon, which is primarily for my webcomic but i also do movie reviews and talk about bad books i find so if you like these posts, you’ll probably like those as well. all i ask....is one dollar a month.

anyway fuck that let’s get back into this.

images are from the riverdale wiki

SEASON ONE (PART 2):

the last picture show: immediately this show reveals that our beloved jughead has been living in a nearly abandoned drive-in that he also works at. too bad for him, because it’s closing down. hilariously, literally nobody in his circle of friends cares and call his make-shift house a crack den. owned. its revealed an anonymous buyer purchased it from the town and the mayor decided to sell it to whoever.

archie brings flowers to his teacher-girlfriend’s recital and when he and grundy (and his dad) head to pop’s for a good ol malt or whatever, betty confronts him about his relationship. betty is hurt when he says grundy believed in him when no one else did and goes home with renewed purpose: take grundy down.

veronica’s mom is caught having a heated argument with a member of the southside serpents gang next to a dumpster by cheryl who, as she delights in misery and disaster, captures it all on camera. she shows veronica, who confronts her mother who brushes her off.

betty lures grundy into a fake interview for her school paper instead of going to the police. betty seems to be determining all of this based on the fact that she didnt have any social media until a year ago, which really makes me question betty’s journalistic bonefides. its framed like this means she didn’t exist before she got a twitter or whatever. its really weird. more relevant is that the only record of a geraldine grundy.....WAS AN OLD WOMAN WHO DIED 7 YEARS AGO!!!!! she takes this information to archie as well, who doesn’t care at all. he’s way too horny to care.

betty breaks into grundy’s vw bug and finds a gun and her real i.d. with her real name. archie is still too horny to care, even though betty (again, really overstepping her journalistic bounds) says that grundy might have killed jason (BASED ON THE EXISTENCE OF A GUN BETTY!!! COME ON). archie finally asks grundy straight up what the fuck is going on and she cops to trying to escape from an abusive husband, hence the gun and fake names.

jughead finds out that archie’s dad’s construction company won the bid to destroy the drive-in. its a bad time to be jughead. he tries to ask archie’s dad not to tear down the drive-in. through this convo we learn that jughead’s dad was fired from andrews construction several years ago for theft. a scene after this reveals that veronica’s mom is facilitating the purchase of the drive-in with the mayor pn behalf of her incarcerated husband.

i’m so glad the wiki reminded me of this line, word for word: everyone (and i mean literally everyone in town) goes to the drive-in for one last hurrah, where the southside serpents are guffawing up a storm. veronica somehow silences them by saying “You know what happens to a snake when a Louboutin heel steps on it? Shut the hell up or you’ll find out.“ it sucks so bad. veronica then witnesses her mother having an encounter with the same gang member who she is revealed to be paying to drive down the value of the drive-in property so hiram lodge can buy it for cheap.

archie and grundy are caught in a passionate embrace after betty’s mom reads her diary and goes on the warpath, rightfully telling her to get the fuck out of town or she’ll reveal her to be a child molester. grundy agrees to leave and archie is heartbroken. the last show of geraldine this season is her ogling two teen boys. horrible. leave, woman.

jughead leaves his shitty home and on his way out is accosted by the same gang member who was talking to hermoine lodge and is revealed to be....JUGHEADS DAD!!!!!!!!!! whatever.

heart of darkness: the town is abuzz with jason’s upcoming funeral and the teens of riverdale are fighting over who gets to take the dead kids spot as captain of the football team in a really normal and not at all super ghoulish way. archie is working his heart out now that his favorite teacher/pedophile has fled town. he has his time wasted by a member of the pussycats, valerie, who nets him a meeting with a music songwriter who tells archie he doesn’t have time for his shit. its a weird and totally pointless scene in the long run. it doesnt matter because archie’s music thing never comes to anything. the guy tells archie later, when he returns with sheet music, that his songs suck shit and he hates his music and to get out of his office.

jason and polly’s (betty’s sister) relationship seems to be at the center of whatever happened to jason, so betty starts asking around town about her sister, by using dates as a cover to ask probing questions to members of the football team. she also tries asking her father, who explains that polly and jason had a fight, polly tried to kill herself and so was shipped off to a mental institution. learning about jason’s death fucked her up again so they shan’t be exposing her to more sordid info about the events. the only information they get is that jason was selling drugs to raise money to leave town.

betty and jughead trace this thread to find out why jason would want to leave town but veronica is already finding out firsthand after she is invited to the blossom mansion for the world’s worst sleepover before the memorial (cool timing): the blossoms are all insane. they make their money on maple syrup, using the funds to build riverdale as we know it. veronica and cheryl bond over their awful parents and versonic encourages cheryl to act out at jason’s memorial FOR SOME REASON. KNOWING FULL WELL WHO CHERYL IS.

demonstrating extremely normal judgement, betty and jughead plan to raid jason’s room during the memorial to find clues. cheryl goes full hamlet, throwing herself on the coffin and weeping during her eulogy. they use this as cover to sneak away and go commit the worst social faux-pax you truly can do. however, they are interrupted by cherly’s senile grandmother, nana rose, who mistakes her for polly and reveals polly and jason were engaged.

betty takes this information to her father who reveals he already knows but forbid the arrangement because the blossoms and the coopers have been trying to kill each other for decades over the whole maple syrup empire thing. betty and jughead later suspect her dad broke into the sheriff's office to steal his files related to uhhh everything i guess; a hunch which turns out to be correct.

meanwhile veronica’s mom is sent a live snake by the serpent gang, calls big strong fred andrews to come save her and then asks him for a job.

faster pussycats! kill! kill!: first of all fuck, the name of this ep.

archie, for some reason because i guess he doesn’t know what embarrassment is, decides he’s going to play an original song he wrote for the school talent show. he immediately gets stage fright at the try-outs and wusses out. veronica goes behind his back to sign him up anyway. thanks, asshole!

valerie, from the last ep, quits the pussycats because josie is slightly more stressed than usual about uhhh the talent show. also because she has a crush on archie for some reason.

hermoine, while acting as fred andrews’ new secretary, realizes he’s fucking BROKE. why’d he hire her? who knows. too late now. she suggests firing some people (for example............her, maybe, fred) but fred cant bear it...and is hoping to be saved by the newest construction job he doesn’t know that hermoine is manipulating under the table. much like his son, fred is now too horny to care and they make out while veronica watches awkwardly.

the remaining pussycats try to figure out what to do about their missing member problem. josie’s mom helpfully lays out that they need a strong woman of color, but not one prettier or more talented than josie. enter...VERONICA!!! who is miffed because archie replaced her with valerie in the talent show duet. veronica is now scientifically less pretty and talented than josie by show standards, which just rules because i love thinking that there are teen power rankings in riverdale.

betty and jughead make their way to visit polly at The Sisters Of Quiet Mercy which is literally the best name for a goth cover band in the world. surprise! polly is pregnant with jason’s baby. polly reveals she and jason planned to run away together, but she was caught by her parents and sent away. she then awkwardly asks how jason is and someone has to break the news to her.

josie’s dad makes a brief appearance, which i absolutely do not remember at all. i thought he only showed up in season 3 which makes mayor mccoys character arc way more awkward. anyway, the mccoy family, the andrews and the lodges all have dinner together to discuss business and its awkward as all hell. no one at the table likes the andrews.

betty straight up asks her dad if he killed jason and her mom laughs her ass off at the idea of betty’s soft white suburban ham shank looking dad being able to kill a weed much less a human. keep that in mind.

veronica’s mom forges veronica signature on a form allowing andrews construction to move ahead with the job.

jughead and betty kiss after talking about how they arent their parents. keep that in mind. anyway, betty takes jughead to a car polly mentioned that full of EVIDENCE. they take picture of it and leave the car to go tell the sheriff because i guess suddenly no one has cellphones. jughead and betty return with the sheriff later to find the car has been light up by an unknown person. almost immediately after, bughead tries to rescue polly at the institution only to find she’s already bailed. welp.

josie and valerie make up and all four pussycats perform. josie’s dad walks out on her performance? harsh. cool dad moves.

archie sings and the crowd loves it. who gives a shit.

a kid died, guys. come on.

#riverdale

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