i finished the grotto s1, it is very good, really like how the story is unfolding. i really like how the songs correspond to the characters current feelings.

thoughts, theories, and spoilers under the cut

in terms of theories I'm wondering if it's a thing of alternate universes? and the caves are just points where the veil between universes are weak, so in the case of what matt is trying to do with his attempts with the coercion of ambrose is communicating with Emily, who in her universe is alive and he's dead, so what would be the end goal, would Emily or matt be pulled into that respective universe so they could be "together"? because that would again create a gap or a loss in the original universe where they're from

side tangent but in a way it makes me think of Orpheus and Eurydice but mostly just in the atmosphere, and like that tale i don't think Matt will be able to bring back Emily and vise versa

continuing and presuming the universe theory is what is actually happening, I'm thinking that ambrose is someone who is taking advantage of their respective grief to create more interdimensional rifts for his own purposes, maybe he lost someone too and needs a lot of blood for it. or it's a cult thing idk it's just the first season I'm pretty interested in finding out what's to come.

my only critique i can give is that it's a little fast paced and things do happen very quickly, but there's a lot of depth given to each character within the limited time frame that s1 has, which is a hard thing to achieve, props to athan, i can get a sense of what these characters are like because they are well defined, matt starting off as a somewhat okay ish guy to as time going on we learn how much of a trainwreck he really is and how self destructive his behavior can be is fascinating. i see why people like David or Emily may be drawn to him. a real bi disaster

and Emily as someone who is more grounded than matt, david in a similar position, they both seem like people who balance a person like him well, and while I'm not one to say someone needs anyone to fix them, but clearly a better person than a stranger who has zero footprint on this world would be helpful force in his life to get him to not lose himself in obsession lol, someone who wouldn't enable it. i like how the show displays more negative and hurtful aspects of dealing with not only grief but instability. matt's not a stable person in the slightest even before the incident from what it looks like.

anyways my ramble is over, the show is good i highly recommend it if you like shows that deal with grief and the supernatural

I'm going to draw fanart of it at some point after my finals are over for the week! i have some idea of what the main 4 look like in my head

rewatching The Boys to get ready for s3 and having gotten back into SPN in the meantime, I’m enjoying it even more the second time round. very interesting to see how Kripke’s developed as a writer / showrunner and the themes & ideas he’s still returning to in his work (masculinity and esp the violence of American masculinity; men going on revenge quests to get justice for their murdered girlfriends / wives; a drug that can give ppl superpowers but maybe at the cost of their souls, and it’s being given to babies as part of a larger manipulative plot; parents doing fucked up things to their kids & the horrors of child abuse and child soldiers).

there’s also the character types that appear in both SPN and the Boys. Hughie is the most obvious one, very much echoing Sam: a kind young man who gets drawn into a secret world after his girlfriend is murdered and one half of the audience’s way into the show (the other being Annie on the supe side). I’ve seen mention of Butcher as a twisted version of Dean, and while there are similarities (abusive father, their use of humor, Butcher as the older brother to a sensitive younger brother who died tragically & sent him down a darker path), my thoughts on rewatch were that Butcher fits particularly well into John’s character type: a man driven to violent revenge after his wife is killed, and who can’t let go of that mission even if it harms his friends, their families, and himself.

March TBR/W.

Every book, audiobook, tv show and movie I want to consume in March 2021.

-Hence ‘TBR/W’ - to-be-read/watched.

I’m not usually a fan of pre-planning my media for the month - I plan out all my media obsessively, but doing it by month seems a little too much like setting deadlines for my taste, and I’m sure I’ll somehow manage to turn watching tv into a chore. Regardless, it’s worth a shot, so this is going to be a rough guide - I’m going to pick four of each category, one per week, because I’d rather underestimate and surpass than overestimate and have to defer things to the next month. So let’s go.

Books

1. Skyward and 2. Starsight by Brandon Sanderson

Skyward is set in a future where the human race is on the verge of extinction, trapped on a planet constantly attacked by alien warriors. Spensa, a teenage girl stuck on the planet, wants to be a pilot, but it seems far-off. Then, she finds the wreckage of a ship that appears to have a soul, and she must figure out how to repair it, and persuade it to help her navigate flight school.

In truth, I mainly want to read this because of how highly it’s been praised by Hailey in Bookland on YouTube. I actually tried reading Sanderson’s Mistborn series a couple years ago, and just didn’t click with it. I love fantasy, but I can pretty confidently say epic fantasy just isn’t for me. However, Sanderson’s work is adored by many, and Skyward and its sequel Starsight appeal so much more to me, and I can’t wait to get to them.

3. House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J Maas

This is Maas’s first technically-adult book; Throne of Glass is young adult, ACOTAR being classed either as young or new adult. I’ve been a fan of Maas for a long time, and, though I enjoy her books less now than I have in the past due to how seriously they tend to take themselves, I’d still love to read this one. Where her previous series were both fantasies, this sits somewhere between that and a sci-fi, but I can’t say as-of-yet what I think, because I haven’t read it yet.

Bryce Quinlan finds herself investigating her friends’ deaths in an attempt to avenge them after they were taken from her by a demon. Hunt Athalar is a Fallen angel, enslaved by Archangels, forced to assassinate their enemies, when he’s offered a deal to assist Bryce in exchange for his freedom.

4. Scythe by Neal Shusterman

I listened to this as an audiobook in 2019 as part of BookTuber Book Roast’s Magical Readathon, and didn’t hugely get along with it in truth. The audiobook was excellent as an audiobook, but the story Ian’s I just didn’t really vibe. I think I just want to like this book, so I think it’s worth a reread to see if my opinion changes.

This follows Citra and Rowan, a reluctant pair of apprentice Scythes - in a utopian future where humanity has the means to live forever, it is the job of the Scythes to control the population by essentially reaping the souls of those they choose to die. Neither Citra or Rowan want it, but I don’t remember enough about this book to say any more.

Audiobooks

1. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

This is the last book in the Hunger Games trilogy, and you either already know what this series is about, or you’ve been living under a rock for the last thirteen years. I read this book for the first time nearly seven years ago, and it’s stuck with me. It sent me into a phase of only reading dystopian books (The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken was part of this, and was the series that really got me into reading), but this was the main one that stuck with me. 

It contains a powerful message about capitalism and discrimination, and this is the second time I’ve listened to the audiobooks, though the god-only-knows-what time I’ve read the series. I listened to The Hunger Games and Catching Fire in February, which automatically puts this on my to-listen for March.

2. Ghosts of the Shadow Market by Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan, Maureen Johnson, Kelly Link and Robin Wasserman

This is a novella bind-up set in the Shadowhunters world, that I would imagine has quite a bit to do with the Shadow Market, an aspect of the Downworld introduced in The Dark Artifices, which I finished in January.

In truth, I’m mainly planning to listen to this audiobook because it’s the only Shadowhunters novella bind-up with an audiobook, and I’d just rather read additions to the main Shadowhunters series in this format rather than physically.

3. The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins

This is a Hunger Games prequel that was released early last year, and I just wasn’t going to read it. I heard several reviews, the general consensus of which was basically that it’s not as good as the trilogy and is somewhat unnecessary, but, in truth, my curiosity’s got the better of me, especially since I started listening to the trilogy’s audiobooks again.

This prequel follows Coriolanus Snow as a mentor in the Games before he became President of Panem and the wonderful villain of the original trilogy.

4. Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

I mentioned this in my physical TBR post a couple weeks ago, but have decided to listen to the audiobook instead. A few weeks ago, I’d started to run out of audiobooks I wanted to listen to, and didn’t want to read anything on my regular TBR in this format, including this book. But, I went through a load of audiobook recommendations, and this was one of them, so it joined my to-listen.

I’m not hugely into contemporary books, but I’ve wanted to get more into the genre for a while, and this was the first one to join my TBR.

This novel follows Eliza Mirk, your typical high school outcast, who publishes a hugely popular web comic under the pseudonym LadyConstellation. Then Wallace Warland, the biggest fanfic writer of her comic transfers to her school and begins to draw her out of her shell.

TV Shows

Before I go into my list, I’d like to mention that I am currently watching WandaVision and am definitely planning to watch Falcon and the Winter Soldier on Disney+, but both come out on a weekly basis, so aren’t being included on this list. Also, I’ve been watching way too much YouTube recently, so I’m not sure I’ll get through all of these this month, especially since I’m watching the Arrowverse shows, which have such long seasons.

1. Love, Victor Season 1

This Love, Simon spin-off follows a character named Victor at Creekwood (I think that’s the name?) High School. I saw Love, Simon twice in cinemas when it was released, and, miraculously, it made me cry. I love that movie.

This series was released last year on Hulu, which is only available in the US, but as of February 23rd, it’s one of the shows that came to Disney+ as part of Star.

2. The Flash Season 1

As mentioned, I’ve started watching the DC Arrowverse shows. I watch tv shows through alternating seasons - as in, I watch season 1 of show A, then season 1 of show B, then 2 of A, etc., then when I finish one, I start watching show C - but I’m treating the Arrowverse as one show (even though it isn’t) so it’s not the only thing I’m watching. So this is technically Arrowverse S3, preceded by Arrow S1+2 (though I haven’t actually started S2 as of writing this because of how much YouTube I’ve been watching, so I’ll be finishing that first).

I genuinely don’t know that much about most DC superheroes, Flash included, but I’m going into this having been assured it takes itself less goddamn seriously than Arrow. It’s my sister’s favourite Arrowverse show, and I can’t wait.

3. Dare Me Season 1

I added this Netflix show to my watchlist when it came out, and my basic understanding is that it focuses on the cheerleaders at a high school, and begins when a new coach arrives. It focuses on the psychological damage behind competitive cheerleading, and I’m not convinced I’m going to love it, but I think it’s worth a shot.

4. Arrow Season 3

I’m so confused by this poster. This is specifically the season 3 poster, and I’m so confused, but I’m sure it’ll make more sense when I watch the season.

I explained the weird way I’m watching Arrowverse (named as such because Arrow was the first show in it) already, but Arrow follows Oliver Queen, the son of one of the billionaires of Starling City upon his return after being stuck for five years on an island when a cruise ship carrying him and his father sunk. His father left him with a list of names of the people ‘corrupting’ the city, and Oliver takes it upon himself to assume a vigilante identity and take them down.

Movies

I’m not a huge movie-watcher, but I end up compiling so many to watch that, to ensure I get round to them, I watch a movie every time I finish a tv show season. I’m also currently re-watching the MCU movies in chronological order.

1. Instant Family

This is just something that came onto Netflix recently and I thought might be entertaining, and so it joined my list.

This follows a couple who decide to adopt a teenager, only to find out she has two more siblings.

2. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 

This is just a continuation of my MCU re-watch - I love this movie. I love Guardians of the Galaxy, full stop (on another note, I just generally don’t understand why British people call it a full stop and Americans call it a period. Neither name makes particular sense). 

3. Avengers: Age of Ultron

And here we have another continuation of my MCU rewatch. I honestly think this is my favourite Avengers movie, because the whole teams actually together, and Wanda, Scarlet Witch, is introduced - I love her. I really didn’t like Vision until WandaVision came out, though.

4. Behind The Try: A Try Guys Documentary

Not technically a movie, but still. (Are documentaries movies? I tend to think of them as separate categories, but I guess they’re both movies. Hm.) I’ve been watching the Try Guys for years, which means I need to convince my sister to give me her Google password so I don’t have to pay for this.

I’m probably not going to stick to this list, and even if I do, I’m either going to also consume things not on it, or just not finish it. But, you’ll have to wait for my March wrap-up to find out.

The 100 rewatch: 1x07 Contents Under Pressure

I’m a new fan of The 100, who first binged it last year, August to November. This is my first full rewatch of the show. I was planning to start it anyway and finish it before the season 6 premiere on April 30, and when I saw that Fox Serbia was airing a rerun (Monday to Friday, 40 min. after midnight, with repeats the next day), starting on 1st February, it was a great opportunity to start my rewatch in HDTV on my beautiful new TV. I decided to do write-ups and tag other fans on SpoilerTV website, as I did when I was first watching the show. But my posts turned into full blown essays. So, finally, after over a week, I’ve realized: Why don’t I post them on my Tumblr blog, too? 

I’ll copy my write-ups of the first 7 episodes, and then I’ll post my rewatch posts after I watch each episode. (The next one, 1x08, is on Monday’Tuesday.)  I’m looking forward to 1x08 on Monday, one of my favorite S1 episodes. IIRC, the next 3 episodes are all awesome.

Spoilers below for all 5 seasons of the show. I go of on a tangents and make a lot of references to future events.

Rating: 6.5/10

I liked this one much less than the previous few episodes, mostly because a huge chunk of it was about the politics on the Ark with Jaha and Diana (who first gets introduced here) - which I never cared about, not the first time and not now. They're both assholes and pretty much the same.

The only part of the Ark storyline that's interesting is that it's the turning point for Kane. When Raven and Clarke make contact with the Ark, you can see everyone else thinking: "The Earth is survivable!" or "Our kids are still alive!" (or, in Jaha's case, that his son is dead), but Kane is clearly thinking something very difrerent: for him, it's "I was wrong and I caused the deaths of 320 people for no reason". This is the beginning of his character development, and also the point where I stopped hating him, because he showed genuine guilt, didn't even attempt to defend himself when the angry people confronted him about the culling and keeping secrets about the 100 from them, and will genuinely change after this. But Jaha and the rest of the Council? They're unbelievable. They threw Abby out from the Council before, for trying to contact the kids and opposing the culling, but now they learn she was right and they have her to thank for the fact they got in contact with the 100 - and they still don't take her back to the Council?? Instead, Jaha gives her seat to Diana for helping him bu.ll#sit the crowd and appease them? God, they're both so full of crap. The best part is when Jaha promises to the crowd that they'll stop lying to them and reveal all the secrets... and then, later, at the Council meeting, we find out he's still lying to people and keeping a huge secret - that they don't have enough ships to get everyone on the ground, just 700 out of 2237 people on the Ark. The storyline on Earth was better, but this time I found it a bit tedious, since most of it consisted of our protagonists torturing Lincoln to get info, which is not that interesting now that I know the outcome. Meanwhile Clarke and Raven were worrying about Finn, who had been wounded by Lincoln in the previous episode, and Clarke was trying to save him with her mother's help. Which is their motivation to get involved in Lincoln's torture and try to get info once Clarke realizes that the weapon was poisoned and that Lincoln has an antidote. And it also was the opportunity for more of love triangle and a lot of moments of Clarke pining after Finn. IIRC, this pretty much stops after this episode, as Clarke mostly moves on and gets busy with dealing with more important things, but then Finn starts pining more and more after Clarke, and Raven starts moping over noticing Finn pining over Clarke. My feelings during those scenes were mostly "Oh come on, girls, you can both do better". (Sorry, Finn fans.) At one point, Raven yells: 'He's all I've got". It's really sad she feels that way, but I guess that's a sign of how sad her life has been, with the mother she had and no other family. In another scene, Clarke emotionally tells the unconscious Finn: "I cannot do this without you"... and I can't help but laugh because I remember YouTube reactor's Liam Duke reaction to this scene - he just casually said: "Yes, you can". :D First appearance of Nate Miller, who wears a cap and is one of the Delinquents participating in Lincoln's torture, besides Bellamy, Clarke, Raven, and some other random guy. The first line anyone speaks to him is Clarke telling him: "Get out of my way, Miller". Who would have ever thought that Miller and Murphy would be 2 of the only 4 surviving Delinquents at the end of season 5? The more interesting aspect of all of this was, of course, the whole debate about morality, mostly between Clarke and Bellamy. Clarke starts off opposing torture, then later agrees to it, in desperation. It's mostly Bellamy beating Lincoln up, but Raven later joins, also motivated by the threat to Finn's life, and goes, let me show you new ways to torture, and gives Lincoln electric shocks. I guess this episode made me realize I had my own strong ruthless pragmatic streak ;D because, the first time I watched this, my main thought during the torture scenes was: "Oh come on, guys, everyone knows that torture doesn't work as an interrogation tactic. Just stab him with his own poisoned knife instead. That should make him want to tell you what the antidote is." I was waiting for someone to do that (though I guess, there was always the possibility he would be really stubborn and ready to die, so it would be a risk), but finally, Octavia did something even better, cutting herself, since she realized Lincoln had a thing for her and wouldn't want her to die. Clarke and Bellamy have noticeably become friendlier and closer at this point. He even touches her shoulder briefly in a comforting way when she was sad and worried about Finn. Some pretty (in)famous lines from this episode: Clarke: "This is not who we are" - Bellamy: "It is now" Bellamy to Clarke, at the end, after they've both participated in torture, and Clarke feels bad about it: 'Who we are and who we need to be are two different things". Probably one of the crucial but also most questionable pieces of advice about leadership that she got during the course of the show. I'm not sure that Bellamy would agree with his old self now, but Clarke took that piece of advice maybe a bit too much to heart. Also: "It's not easy being in charge." Admission that they're co-leaders now. Bellamy also at one point tells Clarke that they are already at war and have been since they landed, which is very similar to what he will tell her during their argument in 3x05. And it's true. The Grounders speared Jasper the first day and engaged in intimidation tactics from the start, even before actually killing any of the 100. Speaking about being in charge, I think that the reason Lincoln assumed that Clarke was the leader of the 100 rather than Bellamy (as we later learn) is because, while Bellamy was giving orders to the other Delinquents (like Miller or the random kid), he was listening to what Clarke had to say and obviously valued her opinion and did his best to convince her to agree with him. But it's interesting that I've never seen anyone, in-universe or in the fandom, apply similar reasoning to their dynamic in the first half of season 4, when Clarke was considered the leader in many ways, but was in the habit of always consulting with Bellamy and checking if he agreed with her, when he was around. If I wanted to explain that, I'd probably say some things about how people perceive women in power vs men in power. Something similar to the well known fact that most people get the impression that women dominate the conversation when they actually talk about 30% of it, let alone 50%. It's interesting to see Lincoln's notebook now, because some of the drawings are obviously the Mountain Men in hazmat suits and a Mountain Man in a gillie suit. There's also the statue of Lincoln that he got his name from, and the Delinquent camp, with 102 lines, 10 of them crossed, for 10 Delinquents already dead. . 100 Delinquents + Bellamy + Raven. 

Overall thoughts on Jessica Jones S2

So how about that S2 huh? I finished it Sunday night but found that I really needed to take some time to sit and try to destruct all of the emotions I had over it. A good conversation with a friend the other morning helped me get a better grasp on my feelings regarding this season. Specific thoughts below the cut...

Clearly this season has been a divisive one amongst the fans...mostly that it imploded a lot of things / characters who were well loved and didn’t live up to what it was in S1 -- to a certain extent that might be true. I’ll say that I  understood what they were trying to do with this season but I don’t think they were able to bring it altogether with the execution. Nothing wrong with trying to do something different but when the final product doesn’t feel like the best outcome, it’s difficult to not be disappointed. Anyway, I’ll try to break down what I liked and didn’t like.

The good stuff:

Seeing these characters in this world again. Coming off of Defenders, I was most intrigued to see Jess, Trish, and Malcolm and well, if that’s what you’re looking for you get it in SPADES. Everyone plays a crucial part in season 2. 

Character driven stories to the max. If you enjoy character driven stories, then you’re in luck, as this is essentially the majority of JJS2. Any of the good stuff that happens is purely on the character level -- whether’s it’s shading in more sides of Jessica’s personality and messy internal conflicts, or showing Trish’s steady and frustrating decline, or introducing new side characters to drive home the crux of each character’s central conflict...this is where the show really made sure to take their time. Everyone has their own moment to drive the narrative forward, though some are able to do it with more purpose than others. 

Exploring new relationship dynamics. This will probably also end up being in the bad category lol, but generally speaking, I liked that they tried to show our primary characters in dynamics that felt different from last season. It made me feel like the world had continued moving, and the characters were growing, which was cool. And I realize I may be in the minority but I actually ended up liking Alisa and the surprise twist that she was Jessica’s mom actually worked for me?? I wasn’t sure what they were doing with her, as I found her to be frustratingly one-note when they first introduced her -- like, okay, she’s just going around killing people involved with IGH? What’s the point? But the reveal that she was actually Jessica’s mom made it all click for me. Sure, it still skirted the line a bit between drama and flat out soap opera but I think this was one of my favorite new dynamics. It was a hot mess in a lot of the moments, and it really shouldn’t have been one of the main drivers of conflict in this season, but I’m sympathetic to the messed up mother / daughter connection and seeing Jessica fall apart and not know what the hell to do about this woman. 

Malcolm. Special shout out to Malcolm who was truly the MVP of this season. He also goes through his own shit but he is probably the one who manages to come out of it in better shape than he went in. It was sad that the trust was so broken by the end between him, Jess, and Trish, but I think he needed to mature beyond the naive idealist who idolizes Jessica and find his own footing. 

The bad stuff:

Too much character focus, not enough of anything else. They threw a LOT our way for all of the characters. Jess dealing with her family’s deaths. Jess dealing with her trauma at IGH. Jess dealing with her relationships with Trish and Malcolm going down the shitter. Jess going apeshit on the competition and going on probation and to anger management. Jess dealing with her mom being alive and being a scary ass murderer. And oh wait, Jess also randomly kills a guard and has a dissociative episode where she imagines Kilgrave around every corner. And this is just Jess! It’s incredible that for all of the things I listed, which I think worked in that they contributed to Jessica’s gradual breakdown over the season, it really felt as if we were treading water most of the time narratively. Because every time something bad happened, or she made a bad decision, or whatever...nothing happened. Nothing got really resolved or truly broken until the end of the season. And the thing is, I 100% track with why Jessica keeps flip flopping around. I absolutely see that she’s barely hanging on and she literally can’t deal with it all and especially WHY she can’t deal with it. But it could have been more to the point and still driven us to larger, more important story details. This feeling of nothing happening also applied to Trish, who had a story line I appreciated on paper -- showing just how hard a person can spiral downward, especially someone who used to be an addict and now isn’t just dealing with street drugs, but ridiculous power-inducing shit -- but my god, this woman has this awful fall off the wagon, pretty much blows up her life, career, relationships, also nearly dies in her quest to gain powers from the mad doctor, but still manages to bounce back enough to snipe Alisa with a handgun from 50 feet and deal with zero consequences. I’m not going to list out every storyline for every character, but while these character building moments work to a point, the lack of balance and payoff make for difficult TV watching. Also Jeri’s storyline started out intriguing when there was still a connection to IGH but once that went out the window, it just felt like it should have been on another show altogether. 

Too many plot contrivances. This was a point of conversation I had with my friend and like, nothing wrong with plot contrivances to create moments for our characters to DO something but I think a better written show could have created these moments more naturally. And maybe the problem was that some of these moments felt contrived because things were getting dragged out and it was hard to ignore the moments when they happened. 

Bad overall plotting of the storylines. So the weird thing is that I pretty much got why everything happened the way it did. But literally every storyline could have been condensed by 2-3 episodes. It was as if this stubborn dedicated to driving the story purely by character also meant to the writers that they needed to slowly draw out each detail and reveal. No, not really. With each delaying tactic that kept us from getting to the next point in the story, it killed any momentum that was starting to build up. I have no expectations that JJ should be an action driven show, but if you’re going to go full tilt into the psychological slow burn, there has to be a balance somewhere. If it’s not going to be some overarching villain, then it should be a better mystery. You know?

Lack of payoff with IGH. Listen, I don’t know what’s up with TPTB and if there’s something preventing these creative teams from writing compelling shadow organizations or whatever, but we’re 0/2 now and that’s so majorly disappointing. To find out that IGH was ultimately just one somewhat well-intentioned dude who got a little carried away with human experimentation...really?! That was something that majorly deflated my sails as it could have been exactly the kind of grounded connective thread that could’ve being pulled across all four shows. This is where the separate but connected universe really bites these shows in the ass because obviously, they all exist in the same time and place and share characters but because they also need to stand as individual shows and be able to pursue their own creative agenda, the choices made by one show inevitably affect the others show that could’ve used IGH. 

Random stuff:

As much as Tennant’s Kilgrave (and his crazy good screen presence) was missed, I think it was ultimately the right choice to keep him limited to an episode. My husband was griping about how they could have integrated Kilgrave’s over the shoulder taunting throughout the whole season instead of saving it for the end, but I disagreed. The way they set up his reappearance made a lot of narrative sense to me -- that her accidentally killing the guard, on top of the incredible stress she’s under to take care of everyone’s shit, is what makes her temporarily dissociate and conjure up this vision of Kilgrave. The shtick would have gotten old quickly if he’d be present the whole season, and it would have severely undercut her progress from last season, at least the aspect where she was able to face her abuser and take back her life. I guess you could have done some version of PTSD and that’s why he’s in her head, but I think it would have been a distraction. 

Trish is an interesting pickle for me. I am not that emotionally invested in her as a character so for me, the shift in direction doesn’t devastate me as much as it seems to have done for a lot of people I know. And honestly, I think the point of her storyline was to make her this awful and unlikeable. There was already a kernel of the competition and jealousy that existed in her relationship with Jess, but her idealism and compassion for her sister usually won out. And I think it’s also worth noting that she was already pushing Jessica’s boundaries way too hard, even before she falls off the wagon, but obviously falling back into drugs  exacerbated a lot of the things that were already lurking under the surface. Also, I don’t think I was even bothered by the fact she’s the one who killed Jessica’s mom, but as I briefly alluded to earlier, it really bugs me that she didn’t reap the full consequences of her season long arc, especially since she still gets to become Hellcat at the end. That being said, karma has a way of coming back and biting you in the ass. If Jeri had to reap the karma of her craptastic behavior of S1 this season, then I fully expect Trish to face it in S3. Ideally we’ll see her attempt to be the hero she’s always wanted to be and crash and burn in spectacular fashion. There’s a reason why our heroes are the heroes and while I don’t think it means Trish will never get to be a hero, being a hero for the wrong reasons doesn’t make you a hero. And this is a tough lesson that I really want to see Trish learn. 

Alright, I think I covered most of it. Apologies for any errors, I try to edit my word vomit but I’ll usually miss something :p. And if you want to chat / vent about particulars, I’m all for it! Hit up my asks or send me a message!!

Continuing my Misfits freakout after having seen the best episode of the series Season 3 Episode 3, I just had some thoughts about television in general, mainly nostalgic feels and other nonsense about my emotional and obsessive love for tv 

Cue nonsense below: 

So the year I really got obsessed invested in television was around 2010/2011 when I was just turned 13 and being a weird antisocial kid in middle school. For some reason, watching Misfits this past month and experiencing All The Emotions™ really brought me back to when I first started loving television and that 2009-2013 era of television that I loved so much.

My first real show was Glee, which I started during the season 2B in 2010. At the time I was also watching Bones in 2010 (all out of order) and also started watching Pretty Little Liars in 2010. I really spiraled out of control when I started watching Elementary in 2011 (yup I started from THE BEGINNING), Modern Family in 2012, The Good Wife in 2012, Hawaii Five-O in 2012, Lost in the summer of 2012, Battlestar Galactica in 2013 (and probably some other show I’m forgetting?). Oh and let’s not forget all the Disney Channel shows I still watched lol. Don’t believe me? Go through my old posts. Actually please don’t. 

But it still makes me feel nostalgic when I remember watching a lot of these shows during middle school/beginning of high school. It still boggles my mind that at that age, I was able to understand complex shows TGW elementary Lost BSG etc. Or maybe I didn’t understand them. But I sure went through The Emotions. It was probably because at that age, I was still “finding myself” or at that age where I was really anti-social and started thinking of Bigger Things in life or something. And so many of those shows (Elementary, BSG, and LOST in particular) were so character driven that I was immediately captivated by the stories they told. And BSG and LOST really drew me into the sci-fi/mythology genre that I’ve come to love so much in the shows I’m watching now like Westworld and Misfits. My particular love for BSG/LOST comes from that aspect of character driven storylines with elements of mystery and humanity I guess? It was the first time I was exposed to entertainment and storytelling that made me rethink the way humans and society worked, and I know that’s Going Deep but it’s really true. In addition, shows like The Good Wife (back in it’s better days) and Elementary really made me smarter in a way, because it pointed out things that I wouldn’t have noticed, and there are so many subtleties and nuances that made for thrilling television (Like the iconic Hitting the Fan?! The Season 1 finale of Elementary, which to this day I still remember as the BEST season finale of any show?)

This isn’t to knock on any of the shows I watch now.  I still remember those iconic 7 days where I binged all 6 seasons of Scandal, completely enthralled with the political twists and turns.  I still remember those first 9 episodes of HTGAWM (still my favorite episodes) where I was literally writing recaps on this blog and thinking about who killed Sam?!?!  I remember falling in utter complete love for a character on Daredevil, Elektra, who I related to more than I even knew I could connect to a character. Being able to appreciate the nuances in her characterization and trying to fight a storyline pre-written for her, and fighting her inner demons and darkness all while putting on a front to appear confident and collected. I remember falling in love with Raven Reyes, a character who goes through too much shit on a trashy show but consistently fights for every breath she takes. I remember being shook by a cartoon show, Avatar the last airbender and legend of korra, and the fact that I literally loved every single character for being complex and wonderful to watch. I remember discovering The Flash and the iconic Iris West develop agency and become 1/2 in the most ICONIC ship to exist.  FINALLY having an Asian American family to watch in Fresh off the Boat, and discovering the incredibly talented and outspoken Constance Wu. Exploring my love for sci-fi with the ever thought-provoking Black Mirror (before it got popular, mind you!) Delving into the world of Marvel with Luke Cage and the world of ancient mongolia with Marco Polo. And that’s not even half the shows I watched, or still watch today! Honestly, if anything, my love for television hit it’s peak once I entered high school and started discovering a plethora of wonderful stories to be invested into.

But at the core, (and evident by the previous paragraph), what really affected me the most in television were the characters and their stories. I was reflecting on how I don’t really ‘ship’ characters as much as I thought, because I mainly loved the character first, and then any relationship they had with others second (WA is the only exception at the moment I think). And that’s why my television phase in 2009-2013 means so much. Because those shows, and LOST/BSG in particular exposed me to what beautiful storytelling could be. And it made me feel The Feels towards characters and storylines for the first time. I still remember how I felt after LOST 1x06, when Jin is waiting the airport line before showing Sun the white flower. I was hit with The Emotions. And it only got worse as the show went on. BSG was the same, with the concept of humanity, survival, and cylons. (I’m kicking myself for writing such a passionate piece on BSG because I still haven’t finished the last season. But that’s another problem for another day).

So bringing this back to focus, what does this have to do with Misfits? Well, as stated earlier, Misfits was a show airing from 2009, so it fits within the timeline of my early phase of television, and to be honest, it feels like it too. Of course I felt The Emotions while watching shows 2013+, but for some reason, after finishing THE episode of Misfits (S3E3), I was hit with The Feels that I didn’t remember feeling since my early phase of television. And I’m not sure why? It’s a wacky, weird, dark, cheeky, extremely british sci-fi show that’s not necessarily as character driven as Lost, not nearly as mythological as BSG, much shorter than both shows, but for some reason it’s still making me feel The Emotions. The ending scene itself just destroyed me. It made me feel nostalgic. It reminded me of my summers binge-watching LOST and BSG, where I was constantly entertained by ideas that seemed larger than myself. And Misfits doesn’t necessarily ask those hard-hitting life questions like lost and bsg might, but it provided such a relatable feeling to it? Similar to how I could relate to the storytelling and characters in lost/bsg, I connected to the characters in misfits in some strange way. It’s hard to sell misfits in my opinion, because you never really get what it’s about until you actually start watching. To me, I connected with how each of the characters didn’t really fit in? They are all odd, realistically dealing with whatever goes their way. It’s not glorifying or heroic. In fact, it’s ridiculously messy. Sometimes it’s just one big wtf. 

So I’m still trying to figure out why S3E3 hit me so hard. Maybe it’s because it was a huge combination of an overarching sci-fi plot (Superhoodie and the time traveling loophole), an emotional core (Salisha? <3), suspense and thrill in the plot (graphic designer guy who isn’t really a villain but just wants to be something MORE, at the end realizes what he wants to do), the combination of superhero and graphic novel/comic storylines that I’m also becoming more invested in, the emotional FEELINGS upon seeing the final drawings graphic designer guy pinned to the wall documenting the final events of Simon, ensuring that he keeps the superhoodie, ensuring that it all works out and realizing how he could help the narrative rather than hurting it. The sheer humanity of the episode (which sounds ridiculous if you’ve seen any of the other episodes) if probably what got to me. Similar to how San Junipero (and to a lesser extent Nosedive) hit with me for Black Mirror.  This show has given me zany, weird, strange, etc. but it’s never given me pure emotion and genuine humanity before. Sometimes it’s so narcissistically cynical that you come across an episode like S3E3 that just punches you in the gut because you didn’t expect a show about telekinetic milk powers, the origins of harambe, or a self-proclaimed jesus to hit you all of a sudden with genuine hope and love (similar to how San junipero was so incredible compared to the lineup of gloomy Black Mirror episodes). Additionally, what made me love LOST/BSG was the incredible score and soundtracks that accompanied each emotional moment in the show, and Misfit’s soundtrack game was STRONG with S3E3, and I’m really starting to love the score so much that I’ll probably download it too. Not all episodes have sweeping orchestral themes, but this one did, and it definitely made me feel more feels. It’s not often that a television show relies on scores rather than soundtracks, so maybe that’s another reason why Misfits gave me nostalgic and emotional feels.

So after the episode ended, of course I was an emotional mess. But it was the kind of emotional mess I didn’t remember being in since watching LOST, BSG, S1 Elementary, or those older shows I watched when I was transitioning from middle school to high school, still trying to find my voice or who I wanted to be.  I’m still puzzled to exactly why, but I enjoyed thinking back to the shows that really brought me into the world of television and how I still need to finish bsg. It makes me so thankful for these shows that I grew up with and are growing up with now, because those stories really helped to shape me into the person I am now.  It’s probably why I’m so selective with tv shows now, because I’ve seen so many great things and have felt The Feels from so many impactful shows that at this point, I have standards lol. (one of them being well written WOC but that’s besides the point).

Anyways, I told myself I’d stop watching misfits after S3 since that’s when all the originals leave (and truly, I loved all the original ASBO 5 characters, and Rudy is kind of growing on me even though I find him kind of pointless and annoying most of the time), but if the show continues thrilling me and producing quality episodes like this one, I might give S4 and S5 a chance. Hell, I’ll probably still watch it because one of the new characters is kind of cute.  But basically the whole point of this post was to express all my nostalgia and how my television habits have evolved over the years. And it took the best episode of Misfits to trigger these feelings. But it’s crazy to see how far I’ve come in my television. To see how some shows have fallen off my radar after previously loving them (TGW, Bones) and how some shows are STILL going strong (Elementary!!!). And of course all these new shows I now have to deal with. But Misfits really gave me the ultimate TBT, and the whole vibe really reminds me of the shows I cherished back in 2009-2013. It was a good feeling, and it was nice to go back and document what really made start investing in television and how I’ve evolved in that sense.

Beyond that, I’ll look forward to all my shows I’m watching now, and of course, the rest of Misfits (which sadly will never upstage the glorious S3E3).