#have impulse and grian instead my brain likes them
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Gimme that kattmaid mumbo fic mag 🔫
The fact that you're forcing me to write more Kattmaids on main is actually inhumane. ((Some) context for the uninitiated.)
Impulse has no idea what’s going on.
Now, that’s not necessarily out of the ordinary: Hermitcraft is full of very strange, very wonderful things that often leave him confused. Impulse is used to being baffled at his friends’ antics. This, however, is a little bit out of his field of expertise.
Because Mumbo had been mugged, and then had started having a panic attack, and then Grian had appeared out of nowhere and somehow managed to drag them off-server through some back-alley channel to some random deserted world. Which, that alone? Weird. Deeply unsettling and concerning and disconcerting and a bunch of other words with negative connotations.
The thing that’s really throwing Impulse for a loop, though, is the maid dresses.
He had no idea they’d even owned maid dresses, let alone matching ones—and when would Mumbo even have time to put his on? It’s like it’d appeared between blinks. Is this a bit? A prank gone too far? If it is, then it’s far beyond the past of funny and well into the realm of anger-inducing, but as Mumbo shakes in the corner and Grian comes back in, locking the door behind him, Impulse can’t quite bring himself to believe that it’s a prank.
Grian’s first move, upon re-entering, is to try and convince Mumbo to sleep and no, hang on.
“Isn’t there something you two want to talk about first?” Impulse asks.
“Like what?” Impulse raises an eyebrow and folds his arms. “What?”
“Like, oh, I don’t know, what just happened out there?”
“Oh.” Grian blinks like he’s stupid. Impulse knows he’s not. “That. Right. About that.”
“That.”
“Right, so, I’m guessing that—what it seems like has happened, um. When Mumbo stole my soul, it looks like also managed to crib some of my, uh—” He pauses. “Telepathic abilities.”
There’s a long moment of silence. Grian cringes.
“Telepathic abilities,” Impulse repeats slowly.
“...Yeah.”
“You can read minds?”
Grian explains the mind-reading thing. If Impulse is being honest, he’s only half-following, because he’s a little distracted by—well. The layers of taffeta and lace and linen, the golden bell hanging from a collar, and Grian’s ears, fully on display without his beret, only the second time Impulse has seen them in all their years of friendship. And he’s all too aware of, out of the corner of his eye, Mumbo wearing the same thing, the red-and-black maid dress and collar, lacking only the bell.
Mumbo falls asleep, and then it’s just Impulse and Grian, and Impulse finally gets a chance to ask.
“What’s with the maid dresses?” he blurts.
Grian flinches. “It’s, uh, well, you know.” He shrugs, too-casual. “They come free with your soul?”
“They… what?”
“It’s, like, it’s…” He flounders. “They’re a part of the magic. If you use too much of it… poof!”
“Poof,” Impulse echoes.
Grian nods seriously. “Poof.”
Impulse rubs his temples. He needs a good night’s sleep before he has this conversation. That, or far more coffee than he’s already had.
He glances up, and does a double-take. “Wait, where’d it go?”
Grian, back in his normal jumper and trousers, shrugs. “I can make it go away, too,” he says, ears flicking nervously. “I’m not…” He glances down at Mumbo, still cuddled up in layers of lace and fabric. “I’ll teach him to hide his too. What he can, anyway.” He reaches up to his neck, to the collar Impulse knows is hidden behind his turtleneck. He glances up at Impulse and frowns. “What are you looking at me like that for?”
Impulse sighs, looking away. “Nothing. Doesn’t matter. I’m glad you talked to him.”
“Well, it’s not like I had a choice.”
“I still feel like a couple of weeks ago you’d have found a way to weasel out of it.”
“I can’t tell how insulted I should feel.”
“It’s not an insult. Just an observation,” Impulse says. He is definitely too tired to be having this conversation. So, he does what any exhausted person would do and abruptly changes the subject. “Have you got any firewood left in here?”
#god i hate that i wrote this#also this still isn't really a mumbo fic. i don't like writing mumbo i find him hard to write and my brain was not cooperating.#have impulse and grian instead my brain likes them#magpie feather quill#(i have one more request fic to write i'm sorry that it's taking ages i'm just a little stumped with the prompt)#honestly i'm just gonna say it. don't read this. if you don't know what kattmaids is that is a good thing and you should walk away.
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It’s 3 AM and I’m stressed out so instead of doing boring things like sleeping I’m deciding whether or not I could beat each life series member in a physical fight (c! and cc!). Sorry about the violence idk why my brain thought of this. DISCLAIMER I don’t want to fight any of these people and I don’t wish any harm upon them I’m just delirious 👍 yayy
Rendog
c!: He’s just a guy with dog ears in canon so I wouldn’t be like suuuper fucked but I think I’d still lose. You know he turns up to jazzercise
cc!: Hasn’t he been through enough recently… could I win? Maybe. But I’d be a good sport about it and I’d expect him to do the same should he beat me
Grian
c!: Have you ever tried to fight a bird? Those things are scary. I got chased by a goose once and it was not fun. Yeah this ain’t happening
cc!: You know that one video of Grian demolishing that punching bag? That would be me. Do you want that for me? I don’t
Joel Smallishbeans
c!: I think I could but it would be really close and I’d have to go to the hospital immediately after. Not for fight wounds or anything I just would be worried he’d have given me rabies
cc!: I feel like I would have to fight him and Lizzie at the same time and I don’t think I could take that. Nothing can beat the power of love <3
Scott Smajor
c!: Nah I just lose and he’s judgmental about it too
cc!: LGBT infighting. I would probably lose
BigB
c!: he would win the psychic battle long before the physical battle could even begin
cc!: Man is yoked. I have died
Etho
c!: As soon as I walk up to him he teleports behind me and cuts me in half. Nothing personnel kid
cc!: Lost in the Canadian wilderness trying to track him down, I am mauled by a moose. My corpse becomes a nice meal for some wolves and I am slowly forgotten
Bdubs
c!: I could punt him with ease
cc!: I maybe could but would it really be worth it
Pearl
c!: Ripped apart by hounds so sad. I deserved it
cc!: I can’t afford to fly to Australia. Also even if I could I think she could just throw a bug at me and I would die from the 10,000 poisons that every Australian animal contains
Martyn Inthelittlewood
c!: I lied we’re not fighting I’m leading you out of the endless cycle of violence come with me
cc!: I feel like I would be overconfident going into it and then he would just deck me. Alternatively he could just recite mentally damaging lore facts at me until I fall over and die
Scar from Goodtimes
c!: He immediately engages me in a battle of wits that ends in me paying him to punch me in the face
cc!: I would concede immediately for moral reasons. Maybe we could lightsaber duel instead?
Impulse
c!: He would show up in like full netherite or something. Are these fights happening irl or in minecraft. Doesn’t matter. Either way I am gone. Reduced to ashes
cc!: That is a whole entire human being I think I’d punch him once and then apologize. It would not affect him at all. I don’t think he’d hurt me though
Tango
c!: I might have a chance but the fire hair thing might be a problem
cc!: I think it would somehow turn into a hockey match and given that I have only ice skated twice before and both times ended in me spraining my ankles real bad I don’t think my odds are looking great. He is bald though so there’s always hope
Cleo
c!: I am breakfast. She will eat me
cc!: I don’t think I’d even be able to get the fight set up I think they’d give me a fake address and leave it at that. And I would deserve it
Jimmy Solidarity
c!: We’re both rather pathetic and sad so I think in this case we would just adhere to rule of funny. Whether I win or lose depends on what’s funniest at the time
cc!: The GYM TEACHER?? No.
Skizzleman
c!: Why would I do that
cc!: :( I don’t want to do this anymore. I would lose also that is a whole ass adult man but I think he’d go easy on me so idk
Geminitay
c!: Lol. No.
cc!: I would be beaten instantly cause I’d feel bad about hurting her but honestly I don’t know why this would ever happen. We could be friends <3 sorry is that parasocial
Mumbo Jumbo
c!: I feel like he could outrun me but I could overpower him
cc!: Absolutely no chance, man could bike circles around me. I would be easily run over
Lizzie LDShadowlady
c!: Easily but I’d feel bad about it
cc!: Same as with Joel. I stand no chance against their combo attack
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OKAY SO (i did btw in fact day dream up a whole one shot for the fob song with the hero au because ough showers are good for fic planning but it would be a MONSTER of a one shot and my brain is tired soooooo here's everyone's powers and the plot instead lmao)
in a world where becoming a super hero is just as likely a career path as a doctor, scar is the newest hero to join an elite legion of heroes protecting yet another major metropolis.
his spot was secured on the team as part of a campaign deal with the newest mayor (jellie, who's a human in this 100% because i thought it would be funny). scar saved a lot of people in exchange for his open support of her election.
Mumbo (Cyborg Human)
Weapon/Power: kept various gadgets and tools on hand, has some built into his body (like his shield)
Notes: he's taken a step back from the front line in favor of working on the team's tech and a "slightly" unethical experiment he's been struggling with.
Impulse (Human)
Weapon/Power: electric magnetic gauntlets, the tank of the group
Notes: advocates for more transparency in regards to their work to the general public, dislikes the secrecy of it all.
Pearl (Alien)
Weapon/Power: shadow hopping + star reading
Notes: crash landing from a planet light years away, pearl considers the team to be her new family that she would defend at all costs.
Grian (Human, Clone)
Weapon/Power: avian body, later dream hopping and illusion powers
Notes: originally known as poultry man, his first body was killed but preserved. various clones of himself have been made, though none as fully evolved as this version. has a different alias now.
Scar (Vex Hybrid)
Weapon/Power: archery + body phasing (can pass through walls)
Notes: keeps his vex half a secret due to public distrust in the species, also uses re-chargable leg braces to walk
the one shot would follow the plot of grian regarding scar with suspicion when he joins the team, and the rest of the team trying to figure out who keeps sending drones after them.
drones that suspiciously, scar has been the only one to figure out how to destroy; a specific electric frequency that can be fired from custom arrows his brother (cub) made him. scar has various trick arrows, the very first one he showed off being a smoke bomb one.
nepotism is strong with him ok
it culminates with pearl having a vision of a person who "emits blindness" with a strange symbol over their head. later, the team are led to a trapped fake enemy base that's riddled with wild vex that try to kill them; grian has to rush in to save scar when the power line on his leg braces are strangely cut, when scar finally confesses to being a hybrid by talking the wild vex down from murder.
grian eventually chooses to face down scar alone, with pearl waiting in the wings as back up. the confrontation ends with grian flung from a 7 ft story building, dead, and a horror-struck scar looming over him.
but something doesn't feel right about that death, right?
something seems... off. :)
(sorrry this got so long i got excited ok i kinda wanna write this now actually)
I'M ROLLING AROUND- I'M BEGGING YOU TO WRITE IT!! /nf
Like bro.. Dude.. My dude.. Youve made me so invested in what's happening- WHY/HOW did Grian get yeeted to his death-- I need answers!! *rattles the bars of my cage*
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i’m still rotating in my brain that one part in joel’s recent video when he and grian were doing impulses escape room and they had to come up with genuine compliments about jimmy and how grian was fighting so hard to work around coming up with them
cause like if you know how long jimmy and grian have been friends with each other then it’s just so much funnier to see grian actively try and avoid giving compliments just to still be a little shit to jimmy
i think a funny addition to the similar challenge joel had with grian in his escape room was that grian had to refer to jimmy by his name instead of tim/timmy in the compliments cause then grian Really would’ve struggled JAVSSJ
#grian#slooth rambles#i love them#they’re such brothers#something about grian being made to break the years long nickname for a compliment challenge is really funny to me#is it even really a nickname#he just sort of started calling jimmy tim for no big reason other than he could#hilarious though
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The stationary series
Part I
Grian and DocM77
Synopsis: a series which depicts my view of what type of stationary the hermits would use, and how their office would look! To avoid a massive post, this has become a series. Under the headcanons for each hermit I’ve included a list of the pens and inks i have written about to use for reference.
A/n: It may have been a while since I’ve posted anything, thanks to a writers block, but due to some help I’ve decided to create this series, so I hope evryone can enjoy this. This is different from my usual x-reader content. Special thanks to @blooming-mushroom for helping me think of this, and for helping me in the process. I am so glad you are my first mutual, and for the fact that we were able to chat before this got published, since this was supposed to be my initial reveal as Blossom-anon.
Grian:
Carries around a small notepad where he scribbles new base ideas and additions, he wants but does not have the time or materials for to add immediately
The front of the notepad is filled with elaborately scheduled out to-do lists, completed with a progress bar and planning space
He never uses it however, preferring to scribble down on the corner of an already full page what his plans for the day are instead
His handwriting is definitely worse when he doesn't have a sturdy surface to put the notepad against, but generally has a pretty legible handwriting (despite his chaotic nature)
His impulsive tendencies to show in the way his notebook is organized however, with lots of random pages filled with miscellaneous notes
Grian scribbles elegant patterns along page sides and corners that get incorporated into his build designs eventually, perhaps in a wall for variation, or as a carpet design
Prefers using ballpoint pens when travelling, and flying around, though it is definitely more than an average ballpoint pen
He carries around a Parker jotter ballpoint pen due to their comfort while writing and because there are no risks for ink leaking while he is grinding or flying around
At his base he has a semi organized desk, though discarded notes from the notepad are almost everywhere
He knows that what it may be he is searching for is hidden in the notes on his desk, but cannot find it whenever he needs to, and instead finds it a few days later when they have become useless
Definitely has building pictures and sketches hanging around his workplace for build inspiration, and planning
He does have an actual fountain pen around his desk for making more elaborate plans, which would be a vintage Parker 51 in burgundy
It is one of his favourites due to its hard working and nearly indestructible reputation, yet still struggles refilling it with ink which frequently ends up in ink splatters across random notes
Since he likes the colour red, he tends to gravitate towards those colours as well, though he also loves writing in a classic blue ink, or black even.
I would imagine he'd like ‘Oxblood’ by Diamine, ‘Royal Red’ by Robert Oster, Parker quink blue, or Parker quink black
(from left to right: Parker Quink black ink, Parker quinck blue ink, Parker Jotter in red ballpoint pen, Parker 51 in Burgundy with gold cap fountain pen, Oxblood by diamine, Royal red by robert oster)
Docm77:
Doc plans things, and not in any small quantities
He plans new projects, structures, ideas, and, above all, he often has to converse with the Hivemind for a lot of these things in the form of letters
Therefore, writing comfort has become necessary for him, and he likes to use pricier and more classic pens
For example, the Visconti Homo sapiens pen is standardly on his desk, and a Montblanc Meisterstück, depending on what ink is in the pen and what he feels like
He would keep the pens on his desk standardly, not feeling the need to take them with him as any idea's that may pop up during the day gets stored in his brain until he has the time to write it down
He has multiple notebooks scattered around a big desk, with multiple advanced calculators and measuring instruments strewn about
He isn't necessarily neat, but definitely isn't as messy as some of the other hermits, so his desk only has few miscellaneous papers lying about, though most of his ideas or plans are stored in notebooks he has piled up in the corner
Because of the size of some of his plans, he also has a wall in his office dedicated to different ideas where he hangs the filled papers
One of the other walls in his office would be filled with bookcases, where he has multiple books displayed, a lot of them handwritten by himself, with game codes and past idea's that he likes to revisit occasionally
Notebooks of past seasons projects, builds, and ideas are also stored away neatly in bookshelf as well
Though his handwriting can be quite difficult to read due to his mind working faster than his hands can keep up with
It’s not necessarily a doctor-type of handwriting, it certainly borders the edge sometimes
Words are scratched out often as well on his notes, as he tends to write something in German instead of English when writing to the Hivemind
The hivemind has however become an expert in decoding his handwriting
Doc would prefer more classic toned inks like blue or black, though especially in the blue's he likes to switch it up every so often
He would like Iroshizuku Kon-peki, Iroshizuku asa-gao, Aurora blue black or Cross Black
(from left to right: Iroshizuku Kon-Peki ink by pilot, Iroshizuku asa gao ink by pilot, Visconti homo sapiens fountain pen, montblanc Meisterstück fountain pen, Black ink by Cross, Blue black ink by Aurora)
#hermitcraft#hermitcraft fanfic#hermitcraft imagines#hermitcraft season nine#headcanon#hermitcraft headcanons#grian#grian x reader#platonic#docm77#docm77 hermitcraft#docm77 headcanon#grian headcanon#stationary#stationary headcanons#hermitcraft x reader
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PLEASE DO ELABORATE ON THAT THE MUSIC MAN IS MY FAVORITE MUSICAL OF ALL TIME & UR BRAIN IS HUGE
Okay so just imagine Scar riding into town a train and the other salesmen are doing their equivalent of the whole "CASH for the merchandise CASH for the button hooks CASH for the cotton goods CASH for the hard goods -- ever meet a fella by the name of Scar?" "He's just a bang beat, bell ringing, Big haul, great go, neck or nothin, rip roarin, every time a bull's eye salesman. That's Professor Goodtime Scar, Goodtime Scar. He's a copper man... and he doesn't know the territory!"
And then he hops off the train and ends up in Boatem and he gets knocked into the Boatem Hole first thing, because you really ought to give Boatem a try -- provided you are contrary.
So he meets the other Boatem members and Mumbo gets a lot of the mayor's lines -- not because he's got the same attitude as Mayor Shinn but because I need to hear Mumbo say "Pomp-ee-eye" instead of "Pompeii" and tell people "It is if you wanna go around in yer drawers all day" and simply say "Shi-Poo-Pi".
Impulse, the area order-keeper (well. HE thinks so anyway) is Marian, trying to rein Scar's shenanigans in but ending up getting swept up in them. Pearl is LOVING having another chaos-instigator around and fills the Winthrop/eager sidekick role in a way.
And Grian is Marcellus -- he knows who Scar is and at first he's a little afraid Scar's going to mess up this thing he's got going in Boatem because he's kiiiinda gone honest? But just dishonest enough to live a good life and if Scar makes people mad it's going to hit all local salesmen... but he's also happy to see his pal and wants to keep him around so he tries to help Scar with his schemes.
And it all comes to a head when Doc and Ren (our antagonists, rival salesmen who're mad about Scar ruining the price of their copper by constantly stripping it so it never ages and people believe it's defective, thus buying SCAR's copper) come into town and reveal Scar's nefarious past.
...I dunno, it's just such a fun concept and I love the idea of "ruthless, relentless conman Scar Goodtimes" who finds this town and intends to fleece them for every diamond and then is like... "Wait. Crap. I like them. I don't want to be run out of town on a rail tarred and feathered. Even moreso than usual." XD
Anyway that's that ridiculous brainrot.
#redwinteranswers#I was in a performance of the Music Man once when I was like...mmmm...16 or so? my dad played the mayor#the rest of the cast was a horrid bunch of cliques and I was miserable but I LOVED being in the play#boatem village my beloved
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So I know it was an older post but- do you wanna,,, do you wanna share that pred!Grian thought?
see now anon, i would love to, but because my brain is laggier than boatem on a bad day, i forgot it promptly after posting that
BUT! since then i have had a few more pred grian Thoughts, so i'll share some of those <3
- in hermitcraft, he'd be a mischevious pred for sure. the type to nom unexpectedly as a prank. just comin up behind impulse and nomfing him as revenge for a prank he pulled the other day. like this
- i can also see him nomming people to travel long distances on the server, but he'd tease them the whole time. maybe joke like he's not going to let them out. (they know he will, of course)
- this may be a weird thought but he'd also be the type to wait outside someone's base with his face near the ground and, as soon as they come out, open his mouth. some hermits are distracted enough to walk in. some are brave enough to walk in. scar has been both, multiple times
- in last life..... mm. in an au where red names are giants/preds... can you imagine the scene between him and mumbo at the ghast farm? grian would climb up so quickly. a giant clinging to this tiny pole, huge arms pulling him up at the top and grabbing onto the railings. this structure was clearly made for humans. reaching out for mumbo, saying, "there's a way we can still be friends." mumbo stepping back, but he's so tiny compared to the hands that are coming towards him. the way grian might hesitate, might give him an opening to run away, back to the flat part of the farm where he couldn't fit, even without the risk of breaking the farm... instead of the threat of a fall to his death, mumbo faces the threat of being eaten.
(////ok but how tf did they not see a giant joel climbing up there to kill grian)
#mcyt noms#hermitvore#pred grian#g!grian#t!mumbo#t!scar#t!impulse#hermit crafting#< using that so i dont maintag#sfw noms#implied fatal vore#safe vore#noms#mcyt g/t#my posts
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Hermits as things i’ve done
inspired by @spacecaving
ren: slammed my foot into the wire music stand in an attempt to get out of bed
keralis: refuses to use the overhead light in bedroom, instead uses two lamps. one of them has been one breeze away from falling over for five years.
mumbo: has a cardboard cutout from a box reading ‘Crossiant’ above my bed. it was placed there by my sister
iskall: has two sets of summer pjs. one is named ‘no gender :(‘ and the other is named ‘gender :).’ the latter has sparkly pancake theme and was found at a kids resale.
scar: broke arm by dead sprinting into a wall at age seven.
etho: annoyed my band teacher by playing my violin really loud, effectively drowning out the (rather quiet, that group of like 25ish never played loud) rest of the orchestra, the blaring metronome, and his counting. then silently stared him down as we packed up, daring him to say something.
zed: mixed various shampoos, conditioners, etc in the bathroom sink after i was supposed to be in bed
beef: sprained ankle. has zero recollection of where or when this happened.
bdubs: has to have a watch on wrist at all times. is extremely uncomfortable without it.
grian: empties the paper trash by my desk every 5-6 months
gem: tried to grow fairy wings during my Rainbow Magic hyperfixation. sadly it didn’t work
xisuma: has an irrational fear of running into walls.
impulse: had a flashlight, a pair of gloves, and sunscreen in school backpack, but no pen. needed the pen.
xb: enjoys singing, but can only sing when no one else is home.
wels: made a tiny hat out of tinfoil
hypno: colors the sides of my sticky notes, and makes shifting ninja stars out of the old ones.
doc: made origami so small it had to be folded with a mechanical pencil lead.
ex: got a binder and was disappointed when i couldn’t sing as well in it.
jevin: has a ghost that haunts my phone. named him jimothy
stress: once hyperfixated on making friendship bracelets.
tango: stole my brother’s ninjago lego figures so i would have a full set. had to hide them for 6 months so he wouldn’t suspect anything but they’re mine now >:D
cub: is always the first one to wake up, and be ready to do things before anyone else is remotely out of bed on trips, at camp, etc
joe: co-wrote a horror story starring the narrator and their wife at age 13. at the time of writing, the narrator was supposed to be a man but their gender was never mentioned. found this story a few years later and my now-queer brain read this story as two lesbians.
pearl: was the only one in my friend group to do my homework before the night before it was due.
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If requests are still open: Scar in 3rd life, now that he's on red, goes full-on evil. Grian refuses to do something and so Scar murders him in cold blood. IDK I just feel like some Scar/Grian angst and that is what my mind came up with. ^^;
calling it now: Scar’s gonna be responsible for one of Grian’s deaths, one way or another /lh
...
“Grian!” calls Scar.
Grian quickly places his bed down in its new location and goes downstairs to find Scar standing outside, looking out towards the edge of the desert. “Yeah, Scar?”
“It’s time we finally act against Ren. He’s been top of my list for a while and I think we’ve left him stewing long enough.”
Grian blinks. “Oh, wow. How are you gonna do it?”
“Oh, not me.” Scar turns to Grian, a half-malicious half-mischievous grin on his face. “You.”
“Me?”
“Yes. If I go over there, he’ll be on his guard. But he knows you. He trusts you, at least more than he trusts me. Go over there and plant some TNT traps under Renchanting. Maybe if we’re lucky, we’ll get Martyn too.”
“I-.” Grian finds himself shaking his head. “No, Scar.”
Scar frowns. “What?”
“I can’t do that.”
“Grian, you’re supposed to do everything I say!” Scar snaps.
“Scar.” Grian holds his voice steady. “I said I’d draw the line at killing for you, and that includes doing something that will directly lead to someone’s death. As long as I’m green, I won’t do anything to hurt or kill anyone else.”
Scar gazes at him with an odd but perceptibly dangerous expression.
Finally, he speaks, his voice cold as ice: “Then let’s do something about that.”
With that, he stabs Grian straight through the stomach with his sword.
Grian gasps out, his eyes widening with shock and pain. His shaking hands automatically fly to the sword still in his stomach, but deep down he knows there’s nothing he can do to survive here.
Sure enough, the second Scar pulls the sword out…
Grian was slain by GoodTimeWithScar
…
Across the server, everyone stops what they’re doing to gawk at the notification on their communicators. They can hardly believe their eyes; in fact, most of them have to look twice to make sure they read the message correctly.
Scar killing Grian? There has to be some mistake, surely. Or it must be an accident. Yes, that has to be it. It was an accident. Right?
Grian sits bolt upright with a gasp, finding himself back at spawn. His fuzzy brain takes a moment to process what just happened and why he’s here, but he quickly remembers that he must have forgotten to set his spawn after he moved his bed.
What a stroke of luck.
He scrambles to his feet and runs as fast as he can, heart pounding. The scenery around him is familiar by now but in his disoriented state, he can hardly register where he’s going. Every instinct in his body is pushing him onwards; he just needs to get away. Doesn’t matter where he ends up, as long as he’s far away from Scar.
Finally, he stumbles down a hill and ends up tripping at the bottom. His hand lands in water and he realises he’s managed to make it all the way to the swamp.
“Grian!” shouts a voice suddenly.
Through his hazy vision, he spots two figures rushing towards him.
“Grian, oh my god, are you okay?!” gasps Impulse, gently lifting Grian to his feet.
Grian’s mouth opens but he can manage no words. Instead, his knees buckle and he sags against Impulse, who lifts one of Grian’s arms over his shoulder, supporting him.
Etho, who is at Grian’s other side, does the same with his other arm, and the two half-carry Grian towards their half-finished castle. They lie him down on their bed in the only finished room.
“Grian, what happened?” Impulse asks. “We all saw the message, but…”
Grian hesitates, blinking back tears. “Scar… tried to get me to go kill Ren.”
“What?!” gasps Impulse, exchanging a shocked look with Etho.
“He wanted me to place tnt at Renchanting to kill Ren.” Grian’s voice cracks. “I refused.”
“And he… he killed you?” Etho asks slowly.
Grian can only nod, squeezing his eyes shut.
Etho glances at Impulse. “I’m gonna go keep watch.”
He leaves the room, closing the door behind him.
“Impulse…” Grian clears his throat, trying to regain his voice. “Scar, he… I think he wants to make me red so I’ll join him.”
“But surely now you’ve lost your first life, you’re released from whatever contract you had?”
Grian takes in a shaky breath. “Yeah I am, but I- I don’t think Scar cares.”
A chill runs down Impulse’s spine, but he ignores it and clasps Grian’s hand. “We’ll protect you, G.”
“You don’t understand, Impulse. Scar is… He… He doesn’t care about anything anymore. I won’t be safe until he’s gone.”
Grian feels awful for saying such a thing. Scar is one of his best friends; he shouldn’t be hoping for his death. But part of him, a significantly large part, is. He just can’t help it. Scar isn’t really his friend anymore.
“Then we’ll keep you safe until then,” says Impulse determinedly. “No matter what, I vow to protect you until Scar is gone from this world.”
Grian stares at him. “Y-You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to. G, you don’t deserve this.”
“But I-I took his first life.”
“And he took yours,” Impulse responds. “The difference is you did it by accident. Scar murdered you in cold blood. You’ve more than atoned for your mistake, Grian. Don’t punish yourself anymore. Please.”
After a moment, fresh tears spring to Grian’s eyes and he hugs Impulse, who holds him tightly back. “Th-Thank you, Impulse.”
Impulse simply holds Grian and says nothing back.
He doesn’t need to.
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Unconfirmed Hels!Hermits Because I'm Bored And Love Wordplay:
Grian: Gealach
Grian means Sun, and Gealach means Moon! Fits pretty well as far as opposites go. I'd imagine Gealach would be very chill, calm and downright unfun to be around. In fact he probably chastices others whenever they disobey rules, so harshly that one would never want to disobey again. He probably wears mainly blue.
Stressmonster: Calmhero
Calm is the opposite of stress, but it was surprisingly difficult to find an antonym for "monster". Anyhow, despite the name, I'd think Calm is actually very high strung and serious, a stark difference to the bubbly and colorful Stress. Calm probably would force her surroundings and peers to match her idea of orderly and perfect, while Stress finds beauty in everything without changing a single thing. I imagine Calm probably wears all white, a complete absence of color.
Zedaph: Aleph
Zedaph's name origin is something I couldn't find, so I went more surface level with my idea. Zedaph has "Zed" in it, aka the Greek letter Zeta, so I just went with the Greek letter for A, which is Alpha! Alpha's phoenician pronunciation is Aleph though, and that sounded cooler. Zed is very chaotic and inefficient with the way he does things, so I imagine Aleph is very productive and quick at whatever he tries to do. He probably only makes machines for convenience, and even then doesn't add anything fun; they're just machines, and they're one purpose is efficiency. No fun decor or backstory in the slightest. Aleph would probably wear a suit/other stuffy attire.
Mumbo Jumbo: Clear Sense
Clear is probably one of the few Hels!Hermits that doesn't seem like they're from Hels. Whereas Mumbo is very anxious but creative and fast paced, Clear probably is very simple-worded and takes it slow. Clear is probably also very full of himself and thinks he's the best at whatever he does (since Mumbo is critically self conscious), but never tries to do anything new. I also think it'd be very funny if Clear had a beard and wore the Pacifico tropical shirt getup all the time instead lmao
TangoTek: WaltzWorx
Waltz is most likely a lot less cartoony with his redstone and ideas compared to Tango. While Tango made fun games like the collection maze run Decked Out, Waltz probably would not make games at all. I also think he would barely do any redstone/building at all, since Tango has to work on a huge project or he'll die of inactivity. Much like their respective dances, Waltz would be slow, calculated, and graceful, while Tango is much more sporadic, snappy, and high energy. Waltz's color scheme is of course blue and purple instead of red and yellow.
ImpulseSV: RestrainND
Restrain is most likely good friends with Waltz and Clear, because holy shit he would be SO SLOW. He'd probably take days to make a decision because he had to be sure it was the right one, and he's probably very uptight and left-brained compared to the human puppy dog that is Impulse. He'd probably match Waltz well with the purple color scheme.
Iskall85: Eldig58
Iskall means "ice cold", so naturally the opposite would be "red hot". Eldig is probably the most Helslike besides Helsknight; he's mean, short tempered and unfriendly to any who would come close. Basically take Iskall's friendly insults and remove the friendly. That savageness without restraint would be Eldig. His prosthetic robot eye would probably be an eyepatch instead, and on his right instead of his left. He'd have a more barbaric clothing theme, I reckon. Plus the red color scheme because even though it's not the direct opposite to green, his name literally means "red hot", come on!
BDoubleO100: BooDoubleO100
(Directly stealing from @fluffy-papaya and @sweetest-honeybee so go follow them please and thanks) Boogeyman!! Boogeyman Bdubs!! A phantom that haunts the night, builds underground nests of creepy crawlies and heebie jeebies, Boodubs would be TERRIFYING. The only thing close to a sweet and friendly big smile would be his horrifying teeth, so big and sharp that the sight of them would give terrors for weeks. The nightmares are his home, and under the bed is where he resides. He's the shadow in the closet that is mistaken for a lump of clothes, the split second of movement you see right when you open your eyes from a dead sleep.
This is getting long so I'll end it here but I have many more ideas if y'all are interested!! :D
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can we here more about duck!mumbo? like, i know the general headcanon of him being. part duck but like could you elaborate on how it came to be, if there's any story you would asscociate with it, bonus headcanons like if he and grian were flying buddies, ect. i have duck!mumbo brainrot now and it's your fault and if i don't get more content with Him i am going to explode-
Anon. Anon I am kissing you directly on the lips (platonically) THANK YOU for giving me an excuse to talk about Him (is going to be under the cut because this is insanely long I am basically just putting words on here as they appear in my brain I’m sorry)
Ok ok so how Mumbo became duck is basically you remember in his s8 right when he was like shapeshifting into everything he ate and he was like the obvious solution here is to eat grian’s soul so I can become human! Yes? Yes. Ok so around that time I was seeing everyone on tumblr being like yo this means that Mumbo should be growing wings now since he has grian’s soul and grian bird boi obviously and I was just like wow that’s a cool headcanon and just left it at that BUT! Then comes 100hrs hardcore series and grian dies and then comes back with none other than a patented Mumbo Jumbo(tm) mustache! I’m going to assume you were around for that but if not, essentially everyone was saying what if grian accidentally took mumbo’s soul instead of getting his own back which lead to this post which was me in real time coming up with the idea for duck!mumbo in the tags fksbfksbjc
So that post leads to this post where I essentially lay out all of my thoughts for how duck!Mumbo happens but as a lil summary, when Mumbo eats grian’s soul he grows wings, wings are that of a Philippine Trogon because his s8 base was inspired by the Philippines and colorful right. Then, s8 ends and they eventually end up getting their own souls back but bc I didn’t want Mumbo to go through growing wings then them just suddenly disappearing I was like you know what it’d be cool if he kept the wings but they just like didn’t work properly without the support of an elytra and bam Feugian steamer duck!mumbo was born.
NOW FOR HEADCANONS!! Ok so I know technically the timeline of this doesn’t match up but just imagine with me for a second if you will, mumbo’s wings are growing in while last life is happening. Him and the other Southlanders are vibing, mans is growing his wings with his besties around him, grian’s helping him learn to deal with bird stuff, and then mumbo’s final ep happens. He’s running away from grian, he’s trying to get away, he knows this isn’t grian, this isn’t what grian would normally do, it’s just the server making him act weird, when grian says “get back here!” and before mumbo knows it, he’s turning around. He tries to stop himself, but his bird brain is telling him to go, grian is his family, he’d never hurt him! Right? Lots of angst potential here I think
Now back to fluffy stuff, him and grian were 100000000% flying buddies, grian was there every step of the way! I read a fic once where they built Mumbo a like lil playground type thing to help get his wing muscles to work and it is now canon to the duck!mumbo universe tyvm. Also pearl moth hybrid so they’d all just vibe, they’d have group preening sessions (bc moth hybrids still gotta keep their wings clean even if no feathers y’know) and sometimes scar and impulse would just like vibe in the same area bc boatem my beloved
And honestly even with what we’ve seen of mumbo’s s9 so far, I’m still clinging on to my duck!mumbo thing because funny story the wiki for feugian steamer duck says “This species is locally infamous for the aggressive disposition of adult males.” and we all know what mr jumbo did to scar immediately upon getting into the new world gjsfkchsjf
So s9 duck!mumbo is building a vault bc he has to keep his things safe, he will attack other members (scar) if they make a wrong move towards him, and he’s trying to keep his violent impulses under control but it’s a little hard sometimes, maybe a nice long vacation will help?
I am thinking of writing a lil fic thing, two chapters at most maybe, comparing his learning to fly in s8 vs s9 but we’ll see if anything comes of that :) (it is definitely not going to be sad at all why would you say that I’m so nice I would never be mean to my favorite bird boi)
Ok another headcanon that’s a bit fused with my headcanon of mumbo and pearl coparenting a dragon so basically Mumbo has little baby dragon who he loves to carry around on his shoulders, don’t get him wrong having her with him is amazing even when she messes up his feathers or accidentally pulls one a bit too harshly when she’s climbing up onto him, but sometimes when he sees Pearl flying around with her, he gets so jealous. So he goes to the end, goes and grinds for days and days, loots so many cities, comes across so many looted ships, and eventually he finds an elytra. Wasting no time, he tucks it away securely in his ender chest, and swan dives straight into the void, for a second feeling like he’s flying again. Once he respawns, he rushes to figure out how to use the elytra to support his wings, having already bugged all the scientists on the server and in his contacts list about it. Oftentimes, if you look up in the sky, you’ll see him flying around with his dragon, looking as peaceful as can be.
#I’m gonna end it there but oh my god I have so many more thoughts and I can easily come up with more#seriously anon thank you so much I love talking about him#also I’d apologize for giving you brainrot but actually that just means my plan is working <3#wow it’s so late it’s past 1am I gotta go to sleep gksbkfnfjg#ok tag time#roy talks#answered#duck!mumbo my beloved#duck!mumbo#Hermitcraft#mumbo#enough tags I think
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Alright, time to work on tying up loose ends ish. i think there’s like... 2 chapters left after this? idk, I’m still writing!
@petrichormeraki @helleborusangel
While most everyone wanted Grifter dead, the fact that he was the only way to free Xannes made them keep him alive. They did manage to get the Listener to let him out, but at the same time, he let his own family out as well before disappearing with them. Fortunately as they left, the world rolled back, undoing all the damage as well as leaving Grian rather grumpy that his hard work was gone.
Shortly after that, everyone had to keep Grian and Techno apart when the avian tried attacking him for being near Grum, who to Grian’s annoyance seemed perfectly fine around the warrior. He reluctantly accepted it, only to get piled on again as he tried to make a second nest.
Xannes hacked them all out of the castle, at least those he could. Kristen and Joe followed on their own a few moments later, everyone soon at the quartz mansion. Grian was immediately after as many blankets as he could obtain, Tommy laughing, but quickly helped out.
Kristen stayed for a bit, long enough to officially say hello to Grian once he was lucid enough, but stayed longer after Grum clung to her leg and refused to let go. Eventually she relented and got pulled into Grian’s blanket nest, Grum running off to drag Techno in next.
“So… how have you two been?” Kristen asked, before correcting herself. “Besides this whole mess that got me involved.”
“It’s been pretty pog since I found Grian. We didn’t even know we were related until, what? A week ago?”
“I’m sorry. I honestly had no clue.” Kristen apologized, but Grian shrugged.
“I don’t blame you. I ended up in a world that death didn’t seem to exist in, at least not really. People who died showed up as ghosts. So even if I did remember your job, I wouldn’t have blamed you there. Then there were the Watchers, and then apparently Zed’s been dealing with things in Hermitcraft. I- are you two related?”
“Yes, we’re siblings.” Kristen replied, shocking both Grian and Tommy.
Zedaph, who was nearby, stepped closer. “Why do you look so shocked? I thought you knew, or at the very least I thought Grian knew.”
“Is that why you acted so casual when you asked me to kill myself?!” Grian balked, making Kristen whip around to look at Zed.
“You asked him to what?!”
“It was for a game! I asked a number of hermits to see who could kill themselves the fastest for a prize! Honestly, I don’t see what the problem was since he started Demise a year later.”
“That was sort of my last shot to find anyone. I thought so much death would make Mum show up.”
“Well, as far as I know, she wasn’t even showing up for Phil after you left, so not like there was much hope there.” Tommy shrugged, though he said it in a joking manner. It still made Kristen frown before Tommy elbowed her. “Hey. It’s fine. I mean, we’re meeting you now and not before we found each other again, so that’s pretty pog too.”
As the two of them chatted, Grian managed to find some paper and ink and started putting together a quick family tree before handing it to Techno to fill in the blank of Fundy’s mom. “Alright, so Wil, Techno, Tommy and I are the kids of you and Phil. Wilbur’s got Fundy with someone named Sally?” Grian quickly looked to Techno who nodded. “Sally. Mumbo and I built Grum and Jrum, meanwhile Techno and Tommy don’t have any kids.”
“Yeah I’m still looking for the ladies.” Tommy jokingly boasted, getting some chuckles from those nearby.
“And I don’t see the point in relationships.”
“Aro, got it.”
“I prefer fireworks. I don’t need arrows.”
Grian stifled some chuckles before continuing. “You’re siblings with Zed, who’s currently with Impulse and Tango, which I’m not going to go further into for my own sanity. And then you and Dad are immortal or something, so who knows about your parents.”
Kristen nodded. “Good, but you’re forgetting your uncle.”
Grian showed off the chart. “What? No, I’ve got Zed there with Impulse and Tango. If you’re going with the misconception that Worm Man is related, I’ll have you know that Poultry Man has assured me that’s not the case. Plus Zedaph has an interview with Worm Man and they are definitely in the same place.”
Kristen half nodded. “Oh, I’m sure that’s very much the case. However, I’m talking about Phil’s brother.”
“Mum, I’m glad to meet you and everything, but could you have waited like another week to drop that on us too?” Tommy asked as Grian looked like he was on the edge of a breakdown.
“So, should I not mention he has-”
“Nope! Not now! And we’ll ask dad ourselves.”
“I was just a hermit a week ago. I was technically still an orphan. I had the hermits as a family. Now some of them are really my family. Why? Why? Why is this happening?”
“Okay G, time to go to bed.” Tommy said, pulling one of the blankets out of the nest and throwing it over Grian’s head, hoping the darkness would kick in Grian’s parrot brain and get him to calm down.
It was just at the right time too, because the door opened with Phil coming into the building. “How’s everyon- Kristen?!”
From there, all of the family currently in that world - other than Zedaph - ended up in Grian’s blanket nest. They chatted a bit before Kristen eventually had to leave, though she made sure to let all of them know how to call her if there was an emergency. Zedaph finally joined to take her place, getting glared at by Grum of all people. “You doing alright there?”
“I’m upset I didn’t know you were my uh… great uncle?”
“Grunkle has a better ring to it.” Zedaph smiled, but Grum just pouted and crossed his arms before being pulled into a hug from Grian. “But yeah, I’m sorry Grian. I can’t believe I never noticed you didn’t know.”
“No, it’s fine. I had a crazy enough story with my family growing up, what’s five more.”
“Five?” Phil asked, raising an eyebrow.
Grian started counting on his fingers. “Finding out that Tommy was my brother, the whole situation Techno caused, finding our Zedaph is related to me, finding out you���ve got a brother, and then Mum mentioning there was more to that.”
Phil sighed. “Oh, she told you about that? Okay first off, we’re half brothers, so that’s normally why he’s left out of things. Plus, he’s been doing his own thing for a while. I haven’t really heard from him since his letters about Minecrack.”
Grian paused, processing that new information before grabbing one of the blankets and screaming into it, Grum patting his dad on the back.
“Is he okay?” Phil asked, making Zedaph shake his head.
“Some of the hermits used to live there, so one of them might have met your brother. Sorry, half brother.”
“Ah, good to know.”
Grian slowly put the blanket down. “Okay, obviously talking is just making things worse. How about we all shut up for like… ten minutes while we still have some peace? I’m scared if we try much else, something else will come out of the woodwork and make things worse again.”
“Ugh, normally I’d hate not talking,” Tommy piped up with an agreeing groan. “But for once, you’ve got a point.”
“For once?!”
Tommy didn’t say anything else, just mimed zipping his lips up, locking them, and throwing away the key.
.
.
.
Grian woke up, glad it wasn’t from a nightmare. He, Tommy and Grum were the only ones left in the nest from before, but he smiled upon seeing the empty space had been given to Tommy’s friends. Ranboo seemed to have been dragged in based on his awkward position, likely by Tubbo and Michael who seemed much more comfortable.
Looking around, it didn’t seem anyone else was in the room, voices coming from elsewhere in the building. Grian carefully moved Grum closer to Tommy, the bot happily clinging to the teen instead. He then pulled himself out of the nest, doing his best not to wake anyone in the process.
He was glad to see everyone looked calm and nothing immediately seemed concerning. The closest thing was what looked like a living diamond walking around, but the fact that no one else was concerned made it less worrying. “So, who’s the new… person I think.”
Phil looked over to where Grian was standing now. “His name’s Skeppy. When the world got repaired, the people that weren’t already revived showed up. It also fixed my wings.” And he let one of them open up so Grian could see.
“Good to know. Nothing bad’s happened yet?” Grian asked, and Phil shook his head. “That’s good. Once Grum and Tommy are away, I’m going to be taking them home. I mean, unless Tommy wants to stay, because he might want to see people again, but Grum still needs repairs. Plus I need to talk with Mumbo about something I found out.”
“Anything bad?”
Grian shook his head. “Not necessarily, just something we need to be aware of.” Then Grian was quiet for a while before speaking up again. “You know, ever since I found it again, I’ve been taking care of the castle.”
“You mean… back in-?”
“Yeah. The place I grew up in has way too many bad memories attached. Evo’s gone and my building world is lonely. Hermitcraft is the closest thing I have to a home, but being able to take a break and go back there helps.”
Phil smiled. “Well, you’ll have to show me what you’ve done with the place.”
“Yeah.” Grian smiled. “I’ll try to visit with Tommy plenty. I’m sure you want to stay here now that it looks like things are calmed down. I’m sure you’ll want to visit us, or at least someone will, so I’ll look into that.”
“Just don’t go silent for eighteen years.” Phil joked, making Grian whack him in the back of his head with a wing.
From there, the two of them chatted, catching up. Both of them avoided the more unfavorable topics, which was a bit tricky, but they managed. At least they did for a while. “Hey… I’m sorry. I know I screwed up with Tommy.”
“Can we not talk about that?” Grian said, ruffling his feathers. “Enough has happened. I don’t want to talk about serious stuff right now.”
“Well who knows when we’ll get another chance.”
Grian sighed. “Fine, but I’m making it quick. Since you’re not going to be around, I’m just trusting you’ll maybe do better. I can check in any time I want, so just know if you screw up, there’s a good chance I’ll see it. There’s a good chance I’ll break down your door if I heard more stories from Tommy, but for like the next week or so, you’re safe. Is that good enough?”
Phil hesitated for a moment before responding. “Alright, sure.”
As soon as he responded, Grian went back to the other room, glad to see Tommy was awake. When Grian replayed the options to Tommy, the teen thought it over before deciding he would stay behind for a little bit at the very least. He didn’t want to disappear while Ranboo and Tubbo were both asleep. Grian made sure Tommy still had NPG’s old comm so that he could call for Grian to pick him up again.
Grian carefully picked Grum up, the bot clinging to his chest, then he opened a portal to take them home.
.
.
.
Grian was glad that the repairs ended up being mostly his job to fix. The redstone seemed unharmed, save for right near the trident wound and Grum’s buttons. Technically the buttons themselves were mainly aesthetic anyway, but some redstone was close by so they needed to be careful.
Once everything was fixed, they plugged Grum in to be safe and then Grian started explaining what he had learned. Mumbo was surprised and excused himself briefly to try contacting people for information. For the most part, he was able to get help, but in terms of whatever glitch the bots had, the information was too vague for anyone to get a good guess.
Grian got Xisuma to take a look, but unfortunately the admin couldn’t figure anything out. Neither could Xannes, but that was affected by NPG wanting to go home soon and check in his aerbunny.
With no other options, Grian was ready to use his Watcher magic, but he was quickly interrupted. Suddenly Grifter was there and threw himself into Grian’s arms, leaving the Watcher struggling to hold his double up before just dropping him. “What are you doing here?”
“Hiding?” Grifter answered innocently. “I kinda messed up, though Dad did too.”
“What did you do?” Grian growled as Grifter stood up and dusted himself off.
“Okay, so dad wanted me killing Nightmare. That’s cool, I did that. He just kinda let it slip his mind that he didn’t tell Punch. So now until Dad talks him down, I’m hiding here! Also watching for spies. Who knows where they could be hiding.”
Grian half groaned, half sighed. “How do I know you’re not going to destroy the place?”
“Uh, because that would make it obvious I’m here, duh. Look, just tell me what you want and I’ll do it. I mean, if it’s something other than leaving. I’m sticking here because if I get seen here, he’ll assume it’s just you. Wait, I’m going to need to get out of my new look. That’s no fun, I really like th-”
“Okay shut up for like five seconds. I don’t have the patience for this today. You said there was something of a glitch with my kids. Tell me what it is or fix it or something and you can stay for a bit. If you cause any trouble, you’re out though.”
“Oh yes of course!” Grifter responded, hugging Grian. “Okay, so the problem is kinda pretty simple. They aren't completely connected to this world so other data is being used to check where they’re from. If everything’s just within this world, it’s fine, but it fucks up their respawn if it’s not.”
“That’s… that’s it?”
“Yup! Just tell your admin and I’m sure he can- OH FUCK! Gimmie your bowwwww!” Grian suddenly started doing his best to climb Grian, having little luck with them being the same height. Grian did his best to keep his balance before seeing what exactly was freaking his hels copy. Nearby, a chicken had walked into view, and apparently that was the problem.
Grian gave a deadpan look before killing the chicken, which immediately calmed Grifter down. “You were scared… of a chicken?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I said he could be sending spies!”
“And… those are chickens?”
“Yes! Of course!” Grifter exclaimed like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Grian wanted to sigh in exasperation, but then he realized that this was good news. If for some reason Grifter acted up, well, a certain hero could help save the day.
“Alright, maybe this might not be the safest place for you here, but you can stay.”
“Why? Why isn’t it safe? Are there lots of spies?”
“Oh, we have the worst one yet. His name is Poultry Man. Have you ever heard of him.”
“I have! I thought Xannes was lying! He’s really real?!” Grifter asked, trembling, making Grian have to hold in laughter.
“Well, he hasn’t been around for a while, but who knows? If - you said Punch? - if he’s looking for you, Poultry Man might show up.”
“Oh no! Do you have anything to stop him?”
Grian couldn’t help the sly smile that got onto his face. “Well…”
.
.
.
Grum watched as Mumbo looked through a bunch of books. He had gotten fixed up, but his daddy said there was still something they needed to figure out, so Dad was out doing that. But he had left a while ago and sitting in one place for a long time was getting boring. “Daddy, how much longer do I have to wait here?”
Mumbo jumped slightly before looking up from his book, which just made Grum frown. Obviously he had been forgotten about. “Um, well, I suppose that depends on what your dad does.”
“But I’ve just been sitting here for ages.” Grum crossed his arms.
“I know, but apparently there’s a bug in your system and until we can identify it, we want to keep you safe. You’ve already been through a lot, I’m sure you don’t want anything more happening.”
“But Daddy I-”
“Grum, this isn’t up for discussion.” Mumbo cut the bot off, who flinched back at the harsh tone. “I know. I don’t like it either. But sometimes the harder options are the better ones.”
Grum was quiet again, just thinking. Mumbo started to look at his book again, but then the bot spoke up once more. “Is it about Console? Or my chat in general?”
“What?” Mumbo looked back up, confused.
“Well, Jrum’s not here, so it has to be something that’s just me, correct? That would likely involve when the admin was using me as a console or the fact that I have gained a chat like Techno, Phil and, based on conversation, Dad.”
“Oh, you mean MFDD? At least I’m still pretty sure that’s what we said it was. I’d have to go digging for my old books again. And Grian might have them at this point.”
“What’s MFDD?” Grum asked, tilting his head.
“It’s the abbreviation for the condition we’re pretty sure Grian has. But it’s a condition that last I checked, was still in a sort of odd state, and I’ve been in Hermitcraft since school, so I’m not updated on it.” Mumbo glanced over to Grum, who just looked confused. “Right. Well, the simple version is that’s what the real name of your Dad’s ‘chat’ is. MFDD. But based on what he told me, that’s not what you have.”
“Oh. Wait, I don’t?” Grum asked, sounding worried and slightly panicked.
“Don’t worry, it’s fine. It’s nothing bad. I’m sure we’ll need to get it properly diagnosed, but the fact that you seem to have what’s like… multiple people in your mind and they can sometimes be in control, along with the fact that it happened after… stressful events. That all likely means it’s DID. Which essentially means you have multiple personalities.”
“And is that good or bad?”
Mumbo rubbed his mustache. “Well, I don’t think it’s necessarily good or bad in and of itself. I wish I knew more about this… In short, it’s at the very least not bad. Or at least not bad if you don’t let it be bad.”
“I still don’t understand.” Grum frowned, leaving Mumbo to try and figure out some other way to explain.
“Hmm… It’s. Uh… Well let’s see. Well it… no that wouldn’t make sense. It’s… Oh! So, when you’re building, say you make a house. And the house has a bunch of rooms. It’s all one house, but there are different rooms and um… well each one has its own person.” Grum nodded along, mostly understanding. “And well, you own the house even though others live there. Because you own the house, you’re in charge.”
“But sometimes I’m not. Like Console and Eyes decide to be in charge or I let them.”
“Well, sometimes something… happens. Like maybe you’re busy… cooking? And so if you’re doing that, someone else gets to be in charge. Or maybe you just want to… sit on the couch?”
Grum’s digital mustache twitched in thought before he nodded. “Okay, I think that makes sense.”
Mumbo nodded, turning back to his books before sighing, glad that what he made up on the spot worked.
“Mumbooooo! I’m back! I figured out what’s wrong! We need to take the boys to Xisuma!” Mumbo jumped from Grian arriving, then was confused to see two of him.
“Why is Grifter here?”
“Long story, it’s fine for now, we need Xisuma. Let’s go go go!”
Mumbo just stared for a moment before sighing and shrugging before going to get Jrum. It didn’t seem like anything bad was happening, so there was a fifty fifty shot it really was fine. Maybe less since there were two Grian’s involved, but it was something Mumbo came to expect with Grian in general.
#hermit!tommy au#hermit!tommy#hc x dsmp#grian#watcher!grian#grian xelqua#avian!Grian#tommyinnit#xisuma#xisumavoid#evil xisuma#mumza#mumza as death#zedaph#philza#technoblade#grumbot#hels!grian#mumbo jumbo
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Hey! Is me! The anon that give you the spire family AU cause I need help with some things cause I’m finally working on it again!!!
First let’s set the scene to help you(me) visualise the story better!
I think it’s set like some of the Empires still exist just to expand the world, Shopping centre is still shopping centre but it’s like the resort in Mystreet season 6, with like the tower thing in the middle and all other like islands(aka like Aqua town and stuff like that) are.
Mother Spore is like on this Erie off coast of the shopping centre that was originally connected to the shopping centre but when humans came they destroyed the eco system that connect them</3
(We keeping the Undergrove, Overgrown, Ocean Empire(Swamp is literally just like under the rule of the ocean empire), Meazalia(?), and Grimlands(cause imagine, Count fWhips twin sister ‘KIDNAPPED’ by the evil Mother Spore! Is so funny!!)
Kept the Undergrove cuase im thinking it’s like where the sporelings are most accepted(cause Shubble’s well- a gnome- but she’s got her whole mushroom thing so I’m making her bestie with Mother Spore)
(THIS GIVE ME AN IDEA!!!
Everyine else trying to find where Mothers Spire other hide out is: Shubble having FUCKING TEA with Mother Spore: And i told her, that he was a cheat but she just gaslit me!)
So like Lizzie. Let’s make her God of the Ocean cause obvi! Jimmy’s like the Demi god who fell in love with mortals(cause my heart PAINS for that</3)
Lizzie and her Human Joel who just- “What? Noo gods don’t exist.”
Kathrine is the kinda queen that pretends to be a peasant and is friends with her whole kingdom without a single one (-The guards cause incase she gets hurt) knowing(Scott use to live in the Overgrown)
(IM PUTTING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD OF THE UNDERGROWN CAUSE ITS MEANT TO BE LIKE THEIR OPPOSITES THAT OBTRACT!!)
fWhip has gone insane when Scott hurt Gem in ESMP1 so what happeneds when she gets ‘kidnapped’? HE GOES SO INSANE ITS FUNNY LIKE AT 3AM THERES LIKE A GUARD COMING TO TAKE HIS POST AND FWHIP RUNS PAST “WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO???YOUR MY ONLY BRAINCELL AND ILL KILL ANYONE AND EVERYONE INVOLVED WITH YOUR DISAPPEARANCE!” And the guards just like “He pays me enough…but it really could be more”
So the sporelings-
Scott’s brother Spore- like I’ve mentioned before-
Pearl’s Scott’s actually sister so just cause if that she sister spore but it’s like when a princess runs away from being a princess except she doesn’t know she running.
All the resistance members are still there obvi! (Stress, Impulse, Ren, Doc, Jevin, XB, Etho)
But also Sausage went cause Scott flirted with him.
Joey’s there cause Xornoth(Scott’s cousin) is there-(that’s real gay)
Lauren(cause I her😭) is Xornoth’s sister, went with her cousin cause that’s her bestie!
(There are just random NPCs, some are there cause Scott flirted with them. Some went cause they thought Grian was hot. NPCs are gay/thirsty as hell.)
HEP are all scientist
Zed’s that one that’s like super smart, gets like a lot of the important info but does stupid shit- like drops the very poisonous specimen then says “Oopies!”
Pix is there cause I feel like he just does it for ironically.
TFC(I miss him😭) was a scientist that left and joined the Sporelings but instead reminded Grian of his dad, and he’s like like “Da- Grandpa spore.”
Ofcourse Theres NPC duh!
Now….WHAT THE HELL DO I DO WITH MUMBO??? Is he sporeling, random gardener, redstone shop owner or just a nobody? OR LIKE AN EX BESTFRIEND/LOVER OF GRIAN CASUE I LIVE FOR DRAMA!!!!
I’m still working on placing all the other hermits and an one else I want to add. They’ll all get something special, even if just one scene.
Okay that’s all from 2am anon! Okay, Bye bye! Love you! Eat food! Drink water! Stay safe!
-🌺🪸🥀
I love all of this! I wish I could give you ideas of my own but brain mush atm 😭
But Jsut know I'm absolutely living for this. And I think Mumbo should be a sporling
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another fic based in the magic misfits au compiled by @haworthiaace! this time: somebody pranks impulse by hiding catnip in his base, and zed recruits scar to take care of him.
featuring: demons are oversized cats, just a lot of fluff, impulse is full of love for his friends, for once team zit have a crisis that isn’t world ending, zed is a good(ish) impulse sitter, no real plot, only shenanigans.
warnings: unintended drug use, drugged character, it’s not anything serious he’s just a big cat on catnip lmao.
[Zedaph] Okay. We have no judgement when we ask this
[Tango] which one of you nerds gave Imp catnip?
[Tango] speak now or I will force it out of you.
[Stressmonster101] oh! was wonderin where me patch went
[Stressmonster101] got no answers tho, sorry boys :(
[Xisuma] catnip isn't harmful to demons, right?
[Zedaph] No...
[Tango] he's high, X
[Tango] like a cat.
[Xisuma] ah
[Xisuma] well, if you're handling it
[Zedaph] That's one way to put it.
-
"Scar!" Scar jumps up. He barely catches a glance of black and yellow before there are arms around his waist. With a strangled noise, he nearly falls backwards. Thankfully, whatever is clinging to him keeps him upright. Although Scar has to hold his hat on, his other arm trapped in the grip.
"Scar, oh!" Scar's panicked mind manages to recognise that voice. Zedaph. Something behind him is beginning to nudge into his hair, accompanied by happy little humming noises. "I'm so sorry. Impulse, come here-"
The pressure releases him. Scar's able to turn and find Impulse and Zed standing there. Zedaph has his arm wrapped around Impulse's, offering a nervous smile. Whilst Impulse... Impulse is currently flicking at one of Zed's ears with a bright smile and wide eyes filled with wonder. Scar frowns when he sees thin, reddened lines across the skin. Zedaph doesn't flinch at the scratches, holding onto Impulse and looking apologetic.
"Sorry, Scar, I lost hold of him." Impulse hums at Zed’s words as he bats his ear again, grinning as it bounces. Zedaph finally sighs, spinning Impulse around and picking him up into a piggyback. Impulse makes a sound suspiciously like a purr, melting into Zedaph's hair.
"Do you, uh, need help with that?" Scar asks, gesturing his hand between them both.
Zed gasps, "Yes! That's why I came, wasn't it? Yeah!" He nods to himself. "Tango's looking for where the catnip is, so he thought I could bring Impulse here for now. We have no idea how long he'll be like this, so..." Impulse makes another low hum. Scar is pretty sure that's purring. He's nudging into Zedaph's hair now, horns mussing it up further. Zedaph's lucky those points aren't stabbing him.
"Of course." Scar chuckles, shaking his head at the pair. Compared to the trio's usual problems, this seems tame. No interdimensional crisis, nothing that needs his spellbook or crystals. He can manage this. "Come on, then, let's get this demonic kitty somewhere to calm down."
They’ve only managed a few steps when Impulse sees a leaf floating in the air, leaping off Zedaph's back and sprinting after it. Zedaph groans, running after him with a call of his name. Scar stands in shock until his brain catches up and he's able to follow. Thankfully, Impulse doesn't get far. He holds up the leaf with a massive grin, bouncing on the spot.
"I caught it!" He declares, with such a proud look it kinda melts Scar's heart. Zedaph sighs, pushing his fringe back from his face.
"Yeah, yeah you did, buddy." He holds his hand out and Impulse takes it eagerly. "Now, we're following Scar, okay? Keep your eyes on him." Impulse turns to Scar, smiling and bouncing over to him instead. Scar follows Zedaph’s lead and is surprised by how rough Impulse's skin is when his hand slips in his.
"Scar! Scar, man." Scar keeps Impulse moving whilst he rambles. He nearly laughs when he notices how blown out his pupils are - almost entirely black, only small slits of the usual bright yellow visible. "Has anybody told you how good you are at building? Like, man, your stuff is so pretty. I wanna landscape like you. The stuff you've done this season, so genius-"
Zedaph must spot Scar's terrified look, because he giggles, "You get used to it." Impulse is still rambling whilst he talks. Scar didn't know there were this many compliments to give him. He has no idea what to say in response, not that Impulse notices.
By the time they get back to Scar's village, he could cook something on his cheeks. Zedaph's cheeky smiles aren't helping. Impulse is holding Scar’s hand in both of his, turning out compliment after compliment like a broken dispenser. The only time he paused was because he got distracted by a butterfly over Scar's shoulder. And now. Impulse gasps, eyes going cartoonishly wide.
"Are those tiny mushrooms?" He turns that amazed stare onto Scar.
"I swear you've seen those before, Imp." Zedaph rolls his eyes, reaching over to ruffle Impulse's hair. He leans back into the touch to the point he nearly falls over. Scar keeps him up with his free hand.
"They're so little," Impulse whispers, voice filled with childish awe.
"I can show you how I made them later, how about that?" Scar offers. Impulse's entire body perks up, bouncing on his toes. Scar’s relieved he isn’t supporting his entire bodyweight anymore.
"You would? Really?"
"Yeah, of course I can! Anything for my favourite demonic friend." Impulse turns to Zedaph.
"Did you hear that? He'll show me how to make them!" Zedaph nods, his face encouraging. "We don't deserve you, Scar. You're so great." Scar nods, gently sighing as Impulse swings his hand. He gestures to the house, and Zedaph skips ahead to open the door for them.
"How long has it been, now?" Scar asks. He tugs Impulse inside, ushering him to the comfortable, if worn, sofa. Impulse sees it and flops straight onto his back, sinking into the cushions.
"Twenty minutes, maybe?" Zedaph says, resting his finger on his chin. "Maybe closer to thirty now." Scar hums. All of these houses are cosy, but he thinks this will be perfect for Impulse. Wooden floor and walls, a red sofa that's ideal for curling up on and a carpet strewn out on the floor. There's an armchair next to a cluttered coffee table, which Scar plops himself in. Zedaph shoves at Impulse until he shuffles over and gives Zed room. Then he quickly settles his head into Zed's lap.
The moment Zedaph has a hand in Impulse's hair, the demon continues purring. He stretches out, his face soft as he nudges up into Zedaph's fingers. Scar finally relaxes, sinking back into the armchair. The sunlight shines through the door, catching on floating dust in the air. Scar really needs to clean these houses out. Most of them are just storage by this point.
"Do you think it'll wear off soon?" He asks. Impulse is staring at Zedaph's face. Scar's surprised how catlike he's acting. Impulse usually seems pretty down to earth, willing to help out, if a bit anxious. Scar imagines he has to be, dealing with Zedaph and Tango, even if it’s not what he expects of a demon. The three of them cause an impressive amount of problems. Scar would think they'd be more careful with their situation. They’re not. Evidently.
"I don't know," Zed whines. Impulse tilts his head so Zedaph scratches a specific spot. "At least he's calm now. I'm not fit enough to run around after him."
"You were doing a good job of it earlier," Scar teases. Zedaph gives him a look.
"When he nearly fell into a ravine, got halfway into a cave system, jumped onto you, or chased after a leaf?"
Scar laughs, "All of the above, obviously." Zedaph smiles, leaning his head to the side so he can reach the back cushion. His ear sticks out at an angle.
They both sit and chat idly. Impulse is distracted enough with the head pats. His movements are lazy and languid, pushing his feet against the arm of the sofa. Zed's communicator beeping interrupts a conversation about Scar's latest research. The elf pats his cardigan until he finds the device, holding it up above his head to read.
"Tango found the catnip!" He declares. His finger taps the communicator haphazardly as it wobbles in his hand.
"Impulse can return to his base safely," Scar agrees with a smile. Zed hums, rubbing his other hand up and down Impulse's horns.
"Thanks for letting us hang with you." Zed's smile is so friendly, and Scar can tell he means it. As many problems as they cause, the three of them more than make up for it. Scar has shulker boxes full of gifts and resources from them. They're good friends to have and he's more than happy to help them. "Hopefully we'll figure out who decided this was a good prank."
"My diamonds are on Grian," Scar offers. Zed lets out a dramatic sigh.
"So's mine. Grian or Etho." The two are interrupted by a knock at the door. Tango pokes his head around, redstone eyes sparkling in the light of the lanterns and the sun outside. It highlights the loose wisps of hair that fall from his bandana.
"Everything been okay here?" Tango asks. Impulse's eyes open, a lazy smile emerging.
"Tangy, Tango," Impulse reaches his arms out, grabbing towards him. Zedaph puffs out a breath as Impulse rolls in his lap, a horn jabbing his stomach. Tango laughs, striding over and plucking Impulse into his arms. Impulse shuffles around, curling against Tango's chest with a content noise. Zedaph gently adjusts Impulse's horn so it's no longer stabbing Tango's vest.
"Thanks for helping out, Scar." Tango gives him a tired smile. Impulse reaches to one of Tango's pockets. He unbuttons and buttons it distractedly.
"It's not a problem!" Scar holds his hand up. "He's pretty cute like this, if I do say so myself." Zedaph giggles, pressed up against Tango's side. He tries to fix his hair but it's a lost cause, blond fringe falling in his eyes.
"At least he's taking a break, I guess," Tango agrees, looking at the demon in his arms.
"I take breaks," Impulse replies, sounding as pouty as he looks. Squinted as they are, his eyes are entirely black.
"Mmhm. 'Course you do." Tango just smiles at the sight. Zedaph tugs at Tango's arm.
"Come on, let's get him home!" He exclaims with that same bright look. Scar smiles at the trio.
"Hey, maybe next time, try some milk?" He suggests. The look on Tango and Zedaph's faces is worth it. Their surprise quickly morphs into embarrassment. Zedaph makes a breathy giggle, hiding behind his hand.
"We'll... Yeah, we're not smart enough for that, are we?" Tango admits, raising his shoulders. Scar laughs, waving at them.
"See you next time you have a problem!" He teases. Zedaph quickly jumps over to give Scar a hug.
"Thanks again!" He tells him. Scar leans back as the three leave, settling into the cushions. He sighs, smiling and closing his eyes. That was certainly a welcome distraction.
#hermitcraft#zedaph#goodtimeswithscar#tangotek#impulsesv#tango tek#my writing#magic misfits au#pats impulse's head#you can fit so much love for his friends in this good boy#for the record: jevin did it
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Having to go through loopholes to submit this anonymously because infected au!team zit has taken over my brain. if you don’t like this, feel free not to publish it or whatever. i just couldn’t do anything else until id written it down. (also sorry i couldn’t add a read more or anything it’s loooong.)
~~~
Tango sits in front of the glass. It’s been a week now since Zedaph broke into the underground lab, and he still refuses to speak to any of them. Inside that cell, he looks tiny. Curled up on the floor next to his cot, knees drawn up so he can rest his head on them. He’s sleeping. Slumbering despite the shivers that run through his body. It’s the only reason Tango is allowing himself this moment.
He hates how quiet it is down here. At least around the resistance members there’s noise. The group of them communicating, playing, being a family… What family does Tango have left? He’s lost his two closest friends. One reduced to the mentality of a child, Tango unsure if he even remembers him, and one point blank refusing to acknowledge his existence. Both imprisoned. Both of them he failed. So much for being a good friend.
There’s a familiar skittering up above. Tango glances towards the vents, but can’t bring himself to care. Most of the time, the resistance members are pretty harmless if they escape. Tango keeps arguing that they need more enrichment, a bigger cell to live in, but he gets overruled. If a kitling wants to wander, who’s he to stop them? He knows they’ll go back to Grian, in the end.
It becomes more of a him issue when the clattering is close, a gentle thud marking something descending into the hallway. Tango blinks, watching as Impulse sits beside him, inquisitive eyes looking at Zed. His ears twitch, pointed forward with the lean of his body. That- that’s new. Impulse has never seeked him out before. Maybe Tango should have expected it. He’s not visited them since Zed was apprehended. Impulse is warm, and those big eyes turn to him with a soft meow.
“What are you doing out here on your own?” Tango asks, firstly. The cheeky tilt of Impulse’s head is only made more prominent by his ears moving with it. He raises a hand to the glass, placing it over Zed. Oh.
Zedaph had seen them. It’s the entire reason he’s imprisoned down here, alone. He refused to cooperate, shouted things Tango knows, deep down, are true. Tango hadn’t really thought about how they saw Zedaph in return. He looks at the blond, his hair falling over his knees. Tango’s seen the tearstains currently hidden on his cheeks.
“That’s Zedaph,” he tells Impulse. “We, uh, we used to be a team. Team ZIT.” Impulse meows in return and Tango wishes he could understand him. If it’s recognition, confusion, anything. “I- this is my fault. Ugh, I should’ve talked to him more. Hung out or something. He’s stupidly reckless, and I love him for it. But look where that’s got us.”
Impulse curls towards Tango, resting his head on Tango’s shoulder. His ears brush Tango’s hair, tail wrapping around his back. Tango manages a small smile, patting one of Impulse’s hands.
“I tried to tell them to let him go. I have no idea how long they’re planning to keep him here. He won’t talk to me.” Impulse mewls. Tango has to agree. “I miss what we had. Hanging out together, messing around. I don’t know what to do anymore.” He sniffs, reaching up to wipe his eyes before any tears can fall. Impulse looks worried, nudging Tango’s jaw with his head. Tango swallows his emotions down. Not in front of Impulse.
“Come on,” he decides. He stands, looking up towards the vents. “You should get back to big G before he worries. Or any of the others realise you’ve escaped.” Impulse’s meow is soft, tinged with sadness. He’s staring at Zed again. “I know, bud. I’m so sorry. I promise we’ll… We’ll figure things out eventually.”
Impulse hesitates, but he finally moves, following Tango to where he thinks the vents are. Walking Impulse through the base is too obvious. He doesn’t want to ruin his relationship any more with the other members of HEP. Before Impulse jumps up, Tango attempts to reassure him.
“I’ll try and visit you more. Maybe Zed will too, eventually. But I just- I don’t think it’ll happen soon. I’m sorry.” Impulse nods, nudging Tango again. He’s started doing that instead of licks. It’s nice. Even now, Impulse is still thinking about him. “Tell G I’m sorry too, okay? I don’t even know if you understand me but- ugh. I miss you, man.”
Impulse stares at him, as if trying to tell Tango that he’s right here. Tango shuts his eyes.
“Go on. Back with you.” He doesn’t open his eyes again until he hears skittering across the ceiling. He finally sinks against the wall, curls up in a position similar to Zed’s, and cries.
#FERTRESFRGTRY#omg thats so sad!#also idk why my pfp is there but its not me#Infection au#submission
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since I am filled with both love and rage, I shall also be ranking hermits* by how much I want to fight them
* not all of them. just my general favorites bc I don't know enough about them all
zedaph: he has very. very. similar vibes to one of my dearest friends, of whom I absolutely adore. similarly, we also attempt to beat the shit out of each other at random interverals, so I would love to fight him. also hes british so. Yknow. 9/10
impulse: genuinely could not fight him. he has like. the vibes of a golden retriever and I fuckin love golden retrievers. the best I could do would be to give him a hug, I think. 1/10
tango: interestingly enough, he ALSO has the vibes of a different dear friend of mine, who I battle over our wildly differing opinions. (not serious ones. just like... pineapple on pizza) so, I'd definitely fight him over like... opinions on olives, or something. idk, i also like pineapple on pizza so that's out of the question. anyway he'd Probably win but itd be funny and that's what counts. 6/10
grian: oh hell yeah I'd fight him. now whether or not I could win... I don't know. because I know how to win against some short people, and another short gremlin could probably obliterate me. it really depends if he is weak to being poked in the ribs. would be very fun. 7/10
mumbo: yes. yes. he is british AND a twig. absolutely. 100%. 10/10
iskall: absolutely Not. he would kick my ass 100%. but if he did, I'd probably compliment him after doing so. -3/10
scar: I don't think I'd have it in me to fight scar either. he brings me too much joy. however him being Government does put him up there a lil bit but. no. I'd definitely just beg to pet jellie and show him my ragdoll kitty instead djjdkfnv. 2/10
bdubs: nope he would obliterate me. he is small, feral, and has knives. I probably wouldnt be able to stop myself from calling him short and he might straight up kill me /j. -5/10
etho: i have come to the conclusion that etho and i have very similar thinking patterns and brains for like......... thoughts. so i would rather enjoy battling to see who would win. admittedly it would probably be him, considering that I am easily distracted and clumsy, but itd be fun anyway. 8/10
ren: I would absolutely love to fight ren. specifically, would love to fight him with like. swords or lightsabers or something. whether or not I'd win isnt even a question, however, because I wouldnt try to win and I'd be happy to let him win. 10/10 sometimes battle, especially swordfighting, is sexy and I'm really gay for ren ✨
xisuma: yeah, I'd fight him. I'd probably like. cheat and use the sword and shield I have on my wall though. I don't have armor, so it's only fair. I'd only bonk him on the head or something though, it's just a wooden sword. he IS british though, I gotta fight him. 7/10
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