Fanfic 102: Unit 3, Diversity

          Hello! Welcome back. This week we’re going to talk about Diversity. Beyond how to insert diversity into your writing, the nuances, and the ways you can create a believable character. The Editor and I understand how sensitive of a subject this is, and wanted to take the time to make sure the information we are doling out is inclusive and well-written and quality. There is often a lack of diversity in media and books, and often when it is included it’s shoe-horned in for brownie points. We understand that, and we want the up-and-coming writers to be better than those before them. The two most important things to remember are the following: no diversity beats terribly-done diversity, and, the way that the character is diverse is not and should never be their whole personality. We will be discussing LGBT, ableism, and race.

          The LGBT community is a vibrant community with members of all shapes and sizes. The most important part when writing a character who is gay or trans is that this aspect is part of their identity but it is not their whole identity. When we discussed characterization in Fanfiction 101, we talked about not reducing side characters or members of the cast to one-note aspects of their personality. The same applies here, and a character’s sexuality or gender expression should not be at the forefront of every conversation. You shouldn’t create these characters with their sexual or gender identity being at the forefront of your mind, because you wouldn’t do that for a straight or cis character. You wouldn’t sit down to make a character with your first thought being ‘ok but they have to be cis,’ so it’s silly to do the same to a gay or trans or nonbinary character. Make them like you would any other character. What changes would be aspects of their identity, or values they hold near and dear to their heart or motivations. Those may be different than a straight character or a cis-gender character.

          If you’re straight or cis and writing a gay or trans character, you need to do your research to accurately portray the character in a realistic and believable way. An example we love is Todd Chavez in Bojack Horseman, who portrayed an asexual character, and Todd’s journey as he came into his own. Bojack Horseman also portrayed polyamory with Hollyhock, who was the adopted daughter of 8 dads. What we enjoyed was that Todd’s sexuality added dimension to his character. It didn’t reduce him to being the token LGBT representative, and it didn’t force him into a box where he could only focus on LGBT issues. Todd was and is so much more than that, and his sexuality is a part of his story, but it’s not the sole story.

Rick Riordan is a master of writing experiences that are not his own, and he cheated the system by basing his characters off of people he knew. This is a method that you can use. You can base your characters off of friends, public figures, etc. If you decide to not do that, googling what transgender men and women have to experience or what top surgery is isn’t enough. I would suggest looking to Youtube, where many transgender and LGBT  influencers have talked about their experiences. I would suggest looking to forums, Reddit being one of them. Yahoo Answers is also a really good source. What you want is as many experiences as you can get: ones that are similar, and ones that contrast. The goal is to combine them and make your own character in a melting pot of other experiences. You owe it to not only those who read your story but yourself to do the research. You want your characters to represent the communities you do, and the ones you don’t as best you can.

          Let’s move on to people of color (POC). The same rules we’ve discussed prior apply: A poorly written POC is worse than no POC (Looking at you Baljeet). In addition, that POC’s ethnicity should not be their entire personality, and if you are creating a character just to say that you have made a POC, then you have already failed. There are many issues we see when we find people of color in fanfiction. Among them are language barriers, naming, and a misinterpretation of cultural values and experiences.

          Putting words in a foreign language in the middle of fanfic is very, very common. You see it everywhere. In Avengers fanfic it’s Russian or Norse. In Batman fanfic, it’s any of the languages that the Batkids speak. The writers put in these conversations that sometimes go on for pages in another language, and then add an author’s note at the bottom with the translation. This is awkward, and when you read books, this is something you never see. If you want your character to speak another language, you don’t need to actually write the other language. Putting a few sentences through Google translate doesn’t make you a better or more dedicated writer than someone who adds the tag: “she was screaming now, all her words coming out in rapid French.” Tags can be used to dictate a change in language, and I encourage you to use them. Now, there are of course exceptions to this rule, and those exceptions usually lie in food, names, and things. Calling someone a name that is in another language is fine. Describing food in another language is fine, and things are generally ok. But that’s just for you. Your characters also have to speak the language.

          No one worth their salt or heritage is going to go through a moment where they start out speaking in their fluent tongue and then “forget” to switch back and forth between English and their native language. It is so incredibly unrealistic and awful and it lets the reader know someone who is not actually bilingual wrote this piece of work. When you learn two languages, here’s what really happens: you forget words. You have to stumble through words in your own language before you get to the one you need. You call things, “that thing.” You point. You sometimes say “what’s that called?” you find aspects of the second language, or even your own language stupid and you don’t want to do it. You get words mixed up and you make mistakes. That’s all okay, and that all happens, and should be written as such. One of my teachers never forgot the French word for spider because she got the shit scared out of her by one and didn’t know what to call it when she needed someone to kill it. My aunt took 3 years to learn Turkish by immersion and now can speak it fluently. You don’t even need to be fluent in every language, and many people only know a handful of words in one or a few sentences in another. That’s totally okay! If anything that’s more realistic because it’s super hard to learn a new language and speak it fluently. Don’t force your characters into a box like that. Let them make mistakes.

          Culture is a huge thing when writing POC. You have to keep in mind that culture shifts, and what may have been culturally huge for one set of characters won’t be as significant for others. You want your characters to interact with their culture in a way that is realistic, and not reductive. Kelly from the Office is a great example, as she invites the office to celebrate Diwali with her. Lara Jean from To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is another example. We see her eat Korean food at home, and in the books, she still celebrates Korean holidays. Where the shift comes into play can be seen in Never Have I Ever where Devi is not as Indian as her parents, and we see her struggle with the culture. She still goes to Hindu association things, Ganesh puja, and she wears Indian clothes. However, she’s still a normal teenager out chasing boys and worrying about colleges. In Superstore the Muslim character prays 5 times a day, and still works at the grocery giant. The big takeaway is that these people have lives that include, but aren’t limited to their cultures. They aren’t reduced to stereotypes.

          Naming characters is already rough. However, naming characters from a different background than you are even tougher. The Editor has a lot of anger towards Panju Weasley, from Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Her exact words, as they were texted to me:

**

>Like Cursed Child where Ron and Padma has a kid named Panju.

>What the fuck is a Panju?

>That’s literally the dumbest name in the world

>All she had to google was Indian names.

>There are so many fucking lists.

>I dont even think it’s an actual name. Like it might be a nickname for some people but I dont think people have actually named their child panju.

**

          As usual, the Editor is very correct. There is a simple solution to getting around what we’ll call the Panju Dilemma- a phrase which we’ll use to describe terrible naming choices of POC. In Fanfiction 101 we had an entire unit centered around naming. Nameberry.com exists, and if they don’t have it all you need to do is Google the country of origin and the sex of the OC. Sometimes you can add in the year the OC was born, to really get a feel for the time period, but that doesn’t always work. For example, in one of our stories we have a cluster of kids from Syria. When it came time to name said kids, we Googled: popular Syrian names 2003. That’s how we got our OCs: Reem, Nour, Nizar, Jano, and Stella. Naming is very important, and you owe it to your readers and your characters to do them justice, and not saddle them with a terrible name.

          The final note of diversity we want to talk about is actual ability. Ableism is often overlooked in movies, shows, or books. It is something that is shoehorned in as an extra adversary for the OC or the cast, only *gasp* This time the biggest adversary is themselves. I hate that. I want to eliminate that because as someone with a disability and someone who has worked with kids with disabilities, you can absolutely write and code characters like that in so long as, and say it with me now, it is not their entire personality.

          You can totes write a character with anxiety and/or depression, so long as you don’t snub these very real mental disorders that millions face on a daily basis. You also have a duty, especially with anxiety and depression, to not glorify, glamorize, or romanticize either. Do not romanticize self-harm. Do not romanticize anxiety. Do not romanticize depression. They are not cruel tricks of life that befall beautiful intelligent women. It is not “tragically beautiful.” Depression and anxiety and self-harm are not a paragraph for you to lament on while the OC gazes longingly out the window at her lover. Anxiety keeps some people from talking on the phone they’re so nervous. It gives girls panic attacks in mall food courts because they don’t know what’s going on anymore. Depression isn’t your OC watching the rain in a hoodie and sweats, it’s not showering for days on end because you can’t find the motivation to. It’s having insomnia because you can’t sleep. Self-harm is not an OC’s love interest holding their wrists and telling them to stop. It is deep pain and numbness and hurting yourself to try and feel something. It is rubbing Neosporin on your cuts and hoping they go away. It is forcing your friends to keep it a secret because you don’t want anyone to know because what if they take it away from you. These mental disorders are not yours to romanticize. They are yours to show the growth and power and strength of your characters. They are yours to use to show how trauma has affected your character and can represent normality behind mental health and emotion and talking about things like this. Even more so than girls, writing a male OC with anxiety or depression is more empowering because you are allowing a character to talk about their feelings when that isn’t seen as acceptable by their sex. If you feel you are able to take that plunge, and you can do the adequate research to represent the disorder well, go for it.

          In addition to mental health, physical disabilities are often overlooked. I have a chronic illness. I have never seen in a book, movie, TV show, or fanfiction anyone with a chronic illness, let alone my chronic illness. That in of itself is a broad term, and I’ll let chronic illness mean anything from lupus and POTS to asthma and anemia. These disabilities make a character have to work harder, but hey, look at Captain America. The boy had every disability under the sun and he got out alright. No one is going to make changes for you. You have to be the change you want to see. If I want OCs with chronic illnesses, I have to write them and do them justice by not only my community but the communities that I don’t represent. Jeremy Scott’s The Ables is a great example of writing disability and using it as part of, but not a character’s entire identity. The main characters all have superpowers but are put in a class that doesn’t allow them to use said powers. This is because they are all disabled. The main character is blind and telekinetic, another can read minds but is in a wheelchair, another is a genius but has cerebral palsy. Their disabilities are a minor obstacle, but not the big bad, and that is a great way to write disability. People who live with physical disabilities or chronic illnesses have to deal with said limitations every day. To us, as time goes on it becomes less of the monster at the end of the story and more of an everyday beast. It becomes normal, and there are bigger things for us to worry about than just our disease. This speaks for every aspect of diversity we have covered in this chapter: The people with said note have to live with it every day. It is a common enemy, not the final boss. To treat it as such is to say that it is our biggest concern in life. I wish my chronic illness was my biggest concern, but I have other fish to fry.

          What we have done here is not an all-inclusive list of diversity. This chapter took 2 weeks to write because the Editor and I wanted to do right by our community. Not just the communities we proudly represent but the communities we don’t. There are many more nuances and aspects to diversity that are out there, and what we have presented is our best. Yet it is still incomplete. If there is something important that you feel we have left out, we sincerely apologize. We acknowledge that what we have written here is not all-encompassing for diversity. We wanted to talk about issues that are common occurrences. However, what we have covered is not the end-all of what’s out there. We apologize for the delay, and to make up for it, our next unit Writing Children will be published at the same time as this one. We sincerely apologize for the delay.

Xoxo, Gossip Girl

Tagged by @thehereticalhermit​

OOC About  Your Character(s)

1.     What do you want to get out of playing this character(s)? Well, for one, he is my OC so I get to interact using him. Second, just to play his weird sense of morality and values. 2.     Describe your character(s) with three words. Macabre/Loyal/Spiritual 3.     What made you decide to write this muse? Because everyone was making askblogs and I wanted to get in on that. 4.     If you could change one event in your muse’s life (in their main or canon verse), what would you change? I mean, never getting a chance to grow up in his own planet. CelLoy could have been a great mortician. 5.     If you could tell your muse one thing, what would you tell them? SkekSo is not worth following, you morbid waffle. 6.     If you could give your muse one gift, what would you give them? A doghouse. Boy needs a roof over his head. 7.     If you had to take one positive thing away from your muse, what would you take away? If I took away his compassion, it'd make him just your stock assassin bad guy. Cel's motives MAY be dark, but he does care. 8.     If you could “borrow” one aspect of your muse and apply it to yourself or your own life, what would you borrow? His uncompromising values. 9.     Do you genuinely want your muse to be happy? What do you think would make them most happy in life? Of course, though his happiness and his 'end goal' will take time to manifest. What makes him the happiest is finding peace between what he loves and what he is expected to be. 10. Do you enjoy putting your muse through angst? What do you think would break their heart the most? Yeah, because that's his whole life. But in the present, not as much. His heart will break once he realises his brother as he knew him is gone. 11. What do you love about your muse? He is enjoying his life and has found a non-harmful way to BE a skeksis. 12. What do you hate about your muse? He is a version of Cecil, and that sometimes bothers me that he isn't 'original.' 13. What about your muse amuses you? Cel is such a nerd and he truly just wants people to listen to his Special Interest. 14. What about your muse makes you sad? That his heart will break twice, first when skekSo chooses Essence over moderation and then when So dies. With skekSo, the last of CelLoy truly dies and so dies his reasons to even visit the Castle. 15. How would you describe your muse to someone about to meet them, in person, for the first time? Look up. 16. Would you like your muse as a person if you met them in real life? Weird dogcatlizardcrow that smells like dead and plays with bodies? Ehhh, maybe? 17. In what ways are you better than your muse? In what ways are they better than you? For one, I am not an unrepetant serial killer who plays with bodies of dead people and has decided HE will be the expert on death in Thra with NO medical knowledge or training. Second, I don't live in the woods like a cave man. For better, Cel has a regular job that he enjoys and he is self-sufficent. 18. Why do you think you connect to your muse? Being weird. Morals being important. 19. What aspect of your muse’s personality is most important to you? What aspect of your muse’s personality do you think is most important to them? Is it the same? Why or why not? Cel's utter dedication to Thra and his family. Everything else is secondary. It makes him a much more interesting character to play, because he has his limits and his values. 20. Has your character(s) changed over the time that you have been playing them? How have they changed? This version? Nah.

About You!

1.     What is your name? Ana 2.     What is your profession? Secret. 3.     What do you do to relax? Listen to music and watch videos. 4.     What is your favorite treat (desert)? Too many to count. 5.     Favorite movie Season of the Witch. 6.     Favorite book All Quiet from the Western Front. The DEFINITION of harsh but valuable literature. 7.     Favorite vacation spot Secret. 8.     Favorite Disney movie The Lion King and Atlantis the Lost Empire. One is a brilliant epic, the other is pulp novel done right. 9.     How did you first get into role playing? Internet connection+11. 10. What was your first platform? If it was something other than Tumblr, what made you get into Tumblr? Some sort of ANCIENT Java chat. 11. What’s a grammar rule you find yourself breaking or ignoring a lot? ESL, so I tend to mess up some ways to say something 'correctly.' I usually intentionally break grammar rules to depict the headspace of a character. 12. Are there any languages besides English in which you think you could comfortably roleplay? Finnish! 13. Do you listen to music while your write? Sometimes, sometimes not. 14. Are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer? I'm a "I need to write this thing -now-" writer. 15. How does tiredness affect your writing? It can make it mushy OR make it even better when I'm focusing my 110% on it. 16. What is your biggest obstacle to writing every day, if time doesn’t count? It is either depression or just laziness and I have no idea which. 17. How many drafts is a paralyzing amount? No drafts, we RP like men! 18. Is there anything character-wise or writing style-wise that you can’t stand? Female character being an attractive (to humans), in their twenties and that is their whole character. 19. What kind of anonymous questions are your favorite? Those that clearly want to advance the plot. 20. What is your weakest point in writing? Angst, fluff, dialogue, etc.? I tend to be very curt and to the point, or I treat my character as the NPC and the other person's character as the real protagonist.

[Japanese] Language Learning Signup

So, I've been thinking about how to get around to starting language learning posts here with you all. It's been awesome seeing a general interest in getting back up with Japanese, but it is tricky when we are all at different levels of formal/informal education and exposure, have different learning styles, and have no native speaker to reference. This post is going to be two things: a general braindump, because on weekdays my capacity for critical thinking gets expended in the office trying not to murder people whom I want to send to http://www.lmgtfy.com, and also a general signup to commit to some goals.

Braindump

If years of academic Japanese have taught me anything, it is that critical mass is the most important part of acquisition. This guy over at All Japanese All The Time may sound quacky and weird, but the core of his ideas are right, IMHO: there is a time and place for rote repetition, and often picking up a new language is it. The trick – I think – is that certain types of rote work better than other types of rote depending on who you are. I was very surprised, when I briefly stayed for more than just a holiday in Japan, to find that rote memorisation of vocabulary (literally going alphabetically)... worked. But that was because I was immediately exposed to usage, and there was a constant feedback active/passive loop. I'm going to try to provide that exposure, but at the same time rote has got to work for the individual since – short of switching all your internet browsing over to JP – it's hard to get effective reinforcement. Picking a non-English/first-language aid/crutch to make rote effective might be the key here: visual people might go for picture flashcards, audio people might try to memorise a song, textual people a Japanese-to-Japanese definition or reading in general. That's my meta on "picking stuff up" in general. But there are whole categories of stuff to "pick up" – reading comprehension, listening comprehension, writing fluency, speaking fluency. I'm going to focus almost entirely on reading and listening, with a side-step into writing to reinforce the two and copying spoken Japanese by natives to do the same. I'm nowhere near native, and will not pretend to be: I'm not going to teach or co-learn aspects that I'm not native in. It's fairly important to emphasis the "do not co-learn badness" part here: reinforcing bad and/or plain wrong ideas can be fundamentally terrible for you. Even then, it leaves a lot of stuff to cover, and a lot of ways which it can crossover into more intense practice in the writing/speaking domain.

Goals

So - goals! NYRs! Whatever you want to call what you want to achieve! I'm thinking we do this on a week-by-week basis, because long-term goals are hard to hit: it's easy to overpromise and even easier to underdeliver. Weekly checkins with others = peer pressure = good pressure. Even if a goal is dropped, rolling it over to the next week is easy. Then there can be big picture goals: things you want to achieve that you might not get 100% of the way through but that will guide weekly aims. These can go up to the end of the year. Here are mine for the upcoming week:

Write a post a week with original material catered directly to people's questions or difficulties

Work through, by rote, 10 常用漢字 per week including all phrase-words

Translate at least half of a rakugo story and publish it here

And my bigger goals:

Write a website or flashcard tool or GDocs thing so that people can have printable, submittable worksheets/exercises

Get through my kanji book by doing the 10/week minimum by the end of the year

Watch at least 12 episodes of something in Japanese with only Japanese subtitles by the end of the year

Switch over to only using Japanese-to-Japanese dictionary lookups by March

If you're interested in tagging along – whether you're seeing this post now, or at any time at all while I'm still updating my journal with the tag "Japanese" – leave a comment with yours. Depending on what people jot down, I'll plan for the next post!

Prep

Until the next post, here are some things you can do to get yourself prepared and/or excited. Physical Study & Practice Materials Don't even bother typing when you do any exercises – go straight to pen and paper, and then type in response to posts here. Muscle memory is your friend, and it's really nice to write things physically! Get a nice writing implement while you're at it. Ballpoint and 0.5mm pencil will smudge the least; gel will be smudgier; nibs will be painful. Muji has great pens and Japanese writing supplies if you're lucky enough to live near one. You're going to be writing a lot: enjoy the experience! (I hated coming to America where most writing paper felt like sandpaper. It makes a difference when you're doing repetitive exercises, let's just say that.) Then get good writing paper. Cheap: get a notebook, preferably one without any lines, or at least faint ones, or one that's gridded. You want to not feel like you're cramping your kana and kanji. I'm a big fan of nice paper, so I'd be happy to send people notebooks! Slightly more expensive: find and print grid paper online. Henceforth, we shall call it by its given name: 原稿用紙 genkoyoushi. One PDF source here. Prettier and better ones with kanji grids. Print a whole bunch for your weekly goals! Expensive: Japanese stationary stores (and some Asian marts) in the US will have 原稿用紙 for sale in tear-off gum pads or in practice notebooks. Japanese IMEs I'll write a separate post on getting set up on this because this one is already the length of the moon, but you should get your computer set up to switch cleanly between English and Japanese IME inputs. Google has an IME that introduces crowdsourcing to typing: this is awesome, because suggestions that pop up are going to be the most-used ones. I default keyboard switching on all my systems to something like CMD-SPACE or WINDOWS-SPACE. Dictionary/Grammar/Practice Books If you're just starting out, resist the urge to buy anything just yet. I have tens of reference books I've never cracked open beyond an initial gleeful reference. Books that are really useful in my experience: one good physical introduction-level book if you're just starting out. This can be Genki, Minna no Nihongo, or any equivalent. Make it a goal to go through each chapter. Write on every margin. Use the hell out of it: make it worth your money. Other useful books are JLPT practice books. Stores like Kinokuniya will often have entire sections dedicated to them. They sometimes come in trilingual or quadrulingual mode, English/Korean/Mandarin/Japanese being the most common. If you have one of the other two (Korean/Mandarin), they provide a interesting triangulation onto certain grammatical or vocabulary contexts, though the quality isn't necessarily always 100%. I'll grab some PDF'd materials that I'll put up into f-locked posts – those will get you through just about anything else. For kanji, don't pick up a dictionary unless you plan on using it. I've got some recommendations if you do want one, but in the meantime sites like Jisho.org will get you through just about anything. On the iPhone side of things, imiwa? is an invaluable app. Audio/Visual This will be expanded further along, but now is a good time to figure out if you like listening to songs, or anime, or Netflix original series. Shows like 深夜食堂 (shinya shokudou/Midnight Diner) on Netflix have both English and Japanese subtitles in addition to being good introductions to aspects of Japanese culture and types of speech – I highly recommend watching them in English now, and then gradually trying to pick up things from the Japanese subtitles later. My Old Posts I did a short-lived and more disorganised equivalent of this last year: if you're starting from the kana or basic grammar level, it might be good to go back through those posts. If you're interested in More Estorericer Stuff, I once wrote a post on classical Japanese and the opening lines of the Tale of Heike. It's written sort of terribly, but if it interests people I would love to do more of that – gotta keep in practice. comments Comment on DW: http://ift.tt/2Flb5FF

BHM: Autobiography of Malcolm X

I am a little late because it’s already mid-November and I’ve only just finished “The Autobiography of Malcolm X” that was meant to be reading for Black History Month in Oct ahhaha.

Anyway, I was looking forward to reading this because I admit as much as I knew that Malcolm X was an icon and role model for civil rights movement for the Black community and Muslim community worldwide, I did not know specifically what he stood for. More importantly, I did not understand his journey. I heard snippets of his talks from the Nation of Islam days and then some during his Hajj journey. These snippets confused me most of the time because they were at times, contradictory.

In 2013, I was at a Malaysian event for youths and they asked us to shout out notable Muslims, so Malcolm X came to mind. Muslim, famous, black, American, (different from the other figures that everyone else named, for eg, Salahuddin, Hasan Al Banna etc) I shouted his name.

“Malcolm X!” The room stilled and even the MC was stunned. He brushed his shock off quickly and said that he could not be counted in this list because he was a controversial figure. I am ashamed to say that even though I was thrown aback but that statement, I did nothing to learn more about this man and why he was so misunderstood.

So fast forward 4 years, I am glad I dedicated three books to 3 Black figures and I am glad to finally understand Malcolm X as he himself wishes to be understood.

His autobiography is a great read, I took a while to read it because I was re-reading certain chapters. His life is truly remarkable.

Who was Malcolm X?

I think this section can be answered by his book – YALL SHOULD READ IT PLEZ. The whole time I was reading his book I kept thinking that Allah’s tarbiyah (development of the self) is really tailor made.

Malcolm X (he claimed that his slave name was Malcolm Little, adopted by slave owners so he disowned his surname and referred to himself as X) was also known as El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz.

Malcolm Little, was born in Omaha, Nebraska. He grew up in a myriad of locations in the United States including Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Lansing, Michigan, Boston, Massachusetts, Flint, Michigan and New York City. He was assassinated in New York in 1965.

Malcolm X was raised by a Baptist minister, he had an understanding of Christianity in his youth. He led a life of hustling, crime, drugs, dancing, women etc. (When we watched the movie, my younger brother was so confused, he didn’t know Malcolm X’s past). This was so important in hindsight and just shows Allah’s wisdom in putting him through so much pain and suffering. This period was so important in terms of him understanding racism, systemic racism, the attitudes of White people, the attitudes of Black people and the different struggles, poverty cycles that are violently placed on the Black community.

“I believe that it would be almost impossible to find anywhere in America a black man who has lived further down in the mud of human society than I have; or a black man who has been any more ignorant than I have; or a black man who has suffered more anguish during his life than I have. But it is only after the deepest darkness that the greatest joy can come; it is only after slavery and prison that the sweetest appreciation of freedom can come.” – Malcolm X

He was in prison for seven years. Honestly, for me, these chapters were the most captivating and it truly showed how pivotal this time in confinement was for his journey. He discovered Nation of Islam in jail, as well as the importance of reading and knowing the language of your oppressors.

 “I certainly wasn't seeking any degree, the way a college confers a status symbol upon its students. My homemade education gave me, with every additional book that I read, a little bit more sensitivity to the deafness, dumbness and blindness that was afflicting the black race in America. Not long ago, an English writer telephoned me, asking questions. One was, "What's your alma mater?" I told him, "Books.” – Malcolm X

 Autobiography of Malcolm X review

Stage 1: The Nation of Islam

Before he went to Africa and for Hajj, Malcolm X was quite a bit more militant (I’m not placing a value on this word, it’s neither moral nor immoral. He was just fiercer and less willing to sit defenceless/passively.  He said things like:

I am a Muslim, because it’s a religion that teaches you an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. It teaches you to respect everybody, and treat everybody right. But it also teaches you if someone steps on your toe, chop off their foot. And I carry my religious axe with me all the time. – Malcolm X (not from Autobiography: https://hollowverse.com/malcolm-x/#footnote_2_6100)

His period of his life from Chapters “Savior” to “Out” was intense. We get an understanding of the physical, emotional and systemic violence and racism that went down in the US against the Black community. I got an understanding of how Nation of Islam was an organised Black nationalist movement that had a religious rhetoric (and also a very specific unorthodox/fringe understanding of Islam).

As a Muslim myself, when I was reading about the practices and the rhetoric of Nation of Islam, I immediately knew that the organisation was not religious per se. The practices and rituals were not orthodox (what Muslims around the world do). It is particularly a US creation and institution, that can’t be found in Sunni, Shi’a, Sufi, Wahabbi teachings etc.

Nation of Islam was most defined by its leader Elijah Muhammad, who put forward a very clear, conservative code aimed at black spiritual, mental, social and economic improvement --- using Islamic rhetoric and toughing on some aspects of Islam but not truly Islamic? Its interesting because I felt as though Islam was used solely as an anti-thesis to Christianity, aka “the religion of the white man/the oppressor”.

They called for/preached about:

-          The complete separation of races

-          the created narratives and mytic views of the creation of the Black man

-          Black separatism

-          Black capitalism: economic self-reliance and empowerment

-          Return of African American to Africa / creation of a separate state

Read more here.

Stage 2: Transition post Hajj/Africa

Reading his recollections of how he was betrayed and how he broke off with the Nation of Islam was actually heart breaking. And we see this too often, when the time is dire and in need of unity and strength, we see organisation breaking apart with different allegiances and leaders being goaded by power and delusions. For someone who was loyal and so committed to the cause, I felt the pain and emotional confusion of Malcolm X.

This was when I realised what a great man he was. Through and through, Allah kept seeing that there was a diamond in the rough, misled by the system, by circumstances and by people. He was tested in terms of his sincerity to the Truth and in this phase we see it manifest.

It really is quite sad that we were not able to witness the development of his philosophies and how this more refined, more open understanding of Islam and the situation in America could have played out. But Allah knows best.

For more detailed understanding of his life please read the book! Or read here.

In 1963, Malcolm X travelled to Africa, the Middle East and Europe where he met white people of whomhe could find no reason to hate, no matter what colour they were. Furthermore, Malcolm X discovered hypocrisies and deceptions within the Nation of Islam that caused him to question his allegiance to the organization. At this time, he changed his socio-political worldview as well as his religious tone, saying things like:

[Islam] is the one religion that erases from its society the race problem. Throughout my travels in the Muslim world, I have met, talked to, and even eaten with people who in America would have been considered white, but the white attitude was removed from their minds by the religion of Islam.

“America needs to understand Islam, because this is the one religion that erases from its society the race problem. Throughout my travels in the Muslim world, I have met, talked to, and even eaten with people who in America would have been considered white, but the white attitude was removed from their minds by the religion of Islam. I have never before seen sincere and true brotherhood practiced by all together, irrespective of their color.”

― Malcolm X

His commitment to Truth and speaking it to power.

He was an important figure and an inspiration to all of us in terms of speaking Truth to power – truth in terms of speaking out against the oppressor and its systems as well as being committed to searching for the ultimate Truth.

“I’ve had enough of someone else’s propaganda… I’m for truth, no matter who tells it. I’m for justice, no matter who it is for or against. I’m a human being first and foremost, and as such I’m for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole.”

Powerful quotes

(Reading his book was one experience but searching up his speeches, now THAT was another experience. He was really really charismatic, mashaAllah)

“So early in my life, I had learned that if you want something, you had better make some noise.” 

“Hence I have no mercy or compassion in me for a society that will crush people, and then penalize them for not being able to stand up under the weight.”

“And because I had been a hustler, I knew better than all whites knew, and better than nearly all of the black 'leaders' knew, that actually the most dangerous black man in America was the ghetto hustler. Why do I say this? The hustler, out there in the ghetto jungles, has less respect for the white power structure than any other Negro in North America. The ghetto hustler is internally restrained by nothing. He has no religion, no concept of morality, no civic responsibility, no fear--nothing. To survive, he is out there constantly preying upon others, probing for any human weakness like a ferret. The ghetto hustler is forever frustrated, restless, and anxious for some 'action'. Whatever he undertakes, he commits himself to it fully, absolutely. What makes the ghetto hustler yet more dangerous is his 'glamour' image to the school-dropout youth in the ghetto.These ghetto teen-agers see the hell caught by their parents struggling to get somewhere, or see that they have given up struggling in the prejudiced, intolerant white man’s world. The ghetto teen-agers make up their own minds they would rather be like the hustlers whom they see dressed ‘sharp’ and flashing money and displaying no respect for anybody or anything. So the ghetto youth become attracted to the hustler worlds of dope, thievery, prostitution, and general crime and immorality.”

House Negro and the Field Negro (THIS WAS SOOO SIMILAR TO FANON’S OBSERVATIONS in “Black Skins, White Masks”): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kf7fujM4ag

By any means necessary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dfSpjyCplg

Who taught you to hate yourself?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaXPhR7aWvo

On the Persona 5 translation

I’ve read a lot of extremely hot takes on the Persona 5 translation today. So many, in fact, that it’s difficult to address everything wholesale. To the their credits, the critics are both thorough & well-articulated, and their arguments are strong enough to get me thinking - strong enough, even, to kickstart me pushing out this writing blog I’ve been wanting to get off the ground.

I want to respond to the myriad of issues listed on the website being currently used as a sort of rallying-cry, http://www.personaproblems.com/ . It’s well-designed, and organizes the issues well. I’ll start at the top, then:

- “Yet no other form of media would ever get away with the number of errors found in Persona 5's English script.”

This is a very minor nitpick, but actually, yes. Other forms of media would, indeed, get away with any number of similar errors; viewers of foreign films, for instance, can tell you all about how perfect-world this sentiment is. Additionally, classic books aren’t retranslated for no reason; direct translation is not actually a Thing, and any translated work is going to display the biases, quirks, and language tendencies of its writer(s). This is why people learn dead or archaic languages just to read Cicero or Plato in the original text. It’s a bizarre claim, to say grammar issues are not a problem throughout other media. (Also, try reading a novel translated from a Slavic language, if you don’t like stiff dialog. Have fun.)

- “The baseline for any translation is this: readers of the translation should receive the same experience as readers of the original, as if the original creators had written it natively in both languages.“

If this is the writer’s goal when they go about their own work, it’s admirable. It’s also completely impossible. What does a “native” English speaker sound like? Are they American? British? Australian? Here’s the short of it: by translating a work in your own native tongue, you are co-authoring the piece. It is never, ever, going to be a 1:1 situation when facing down the realities of character limits, cultural differences, & even personal backgrounds. Some works get closer, some works get further, and it’s down to the writers to decide whether a strict or a loose translation better fits the text.

To a certain degree, the way we think - the actual way we formulate & process our thoughts - is influenced by language itself. If you ever communicate with folks who speak English as a second, third, fourth, or so on language - you’ll notice that, even when extremely proficient, they don’t just totally entirely lose the speech quirks that come with their parent language. Eliminating those quirks of speech already changes the context of the work. Is this a bad thing? No, not necessarily; but it’s presumptuous at best to believe yourself capable of understanding how another person would write “if only they were native” in your language.

- “Translation can be a murky concept, so first I'll define a standard to measure against: imagine if translation weren't necessary at all.”

I absolutely despise this. The assumption made is that any story could be told completely, and just as enjoyably, in any language, in any culture, without any change to structure. It is simply not how language works.

- “Translators do not convert words from one language to another: they convert ideas.”

Okay. Let’s keep this in mind.

- The entire “Why aren’t more people complaining?” section

This is one of the most bizarre, difficult-to-follow explanations I have ever seen. It makes totally weird assertions, such as the idea that people hold early, loose translations against current-day translators. That’s a really strange idea, considering the popularity of things like NA Kefka, or bounty-hunter-Samus. The truth is that if the translation was good back in the 90s, no one cared if it was inaccurate. Outside of Usenet, none of us really had a point of reference. The writer seems to have some sort of personal beef with Working Designs leaving Bill Clinton jokes in their work, or something. I am especially confused by the TV Tropes links here, and what they have to do with the point.

Cutting down on this section, we could just apply Occam’s razor: most people have no issue with the translation. 

- I’m not going to go through all the examples. There are some I think are silly, some that I haven’t seen yet, some that are definitely awkward.

One thing that does frustrate me about these examples - it’s noted by the writer that the script does a fine job of getting _the idea_ across. There are few, if really any, examples of the game actually failing to convey meaning. By the author’s own definition of what a translator does, the script succeeds. No, it doesn’t flow the way it would if it were written by an American. Translate dialog this way, and it sounds weird for English speakers elsewhere in the world. It’s a give and take - we don’t all speak the same English. “But these are factual errors!” is a really silly argument here; if they are, why isn’t this an issue for everybody?

- “Unfortunately, while it's possible for a translation to be stiff but understandable, stiff but accurate translations are pretty much a myth.”

I hate this idea, too. “If it doesn’t sound right in American English, it’s incorrect, & doesn’t get the idea across.” The other thing I really don’t like about this is the vast majority of dialog in Persona 5 flows very smoothly for native English speakers! The writer even seems to be aware of that fact, as I’ll address later.

- “It's definitely great to get to experience the cultural aspect of a piece of foreign writing. However, that foreign nature should be expressed by the text's content, not by the text's awkwardness. This goes back to creator intent. If the original creator were perfectly fluent in English, would they have made their writing intentionally awkward just so readers could feel how “foreign” it is?”

I really fucking hate this! How are you ‘expressing’ the cultural aspect of a text by eliminating the speech quirks of the parent language - is the implication that you intentionally add lines to express the character’s nationality? It really feels like ‘thing that detracts from my experience by taking me out of my personal cultural & linguistic comfort zone should be removed and replaced with, y’know, something.’ And that final claim! People who write in two languages - or speak fluently two languages - will very, very often include quirks, stiffness, or other eccentricities in their own personal English. If the author means “fluent in the brand of English I speak and write,” that’s extremely irritating!

- “Consider—how would readers react if George R. R. Martin released his next book and every third sentence was awkward, with every fifth sentence containing an objective error? Writing is hard, and his novels are long, after all.“

I wish this author had simply not written this blurb, I was so much warmer on the criticism beforehand. George R. R. Martin works in an entirely different medium, in one language, with years and years between each published work. The criticisms even this writer has with Persona 5 do not extend to “every third sentence,” “with every fifth sentence” containing some sort of grand, inexcusable error. People would be far, far more upset if this were actually the case. This comparison fails in every conceivable way, & is just outright ignorant.

- “One reason someone might use this defense is that they genuinely don't see a problem, because to them those flaws aren't flaws. And that's valid, so long as they accept other people's right to believe otherwise.”

I like this. I wish the author didn’t hide this at the end, behind all of the assertions of objective “failure” and “outright errors.”

- “I haven't listed every mistake in Persona 5, or even a substantial fraction of them. I've also been forced to focus on the translation aspect of localization, which means I haven't properly addressed other failings such as bad typography, untranslated images and video, and voiced lines that are unsubbed even when Japanese audio is enabled.1 Nor have I dedicated time to the sometimes strange handling of honorifics.“

The typography complaint is valid, though one of the pettiest things I’ve seen in awhile now, and the untranslated images are a series staple, but the honorifics thing HAS bothered me since P3. Just commit or don’t, guys.. Anyway, not much to say about this chunk. I just wanted to say, man that honorifics stuff can be weird (& has been for years).

Listen: If you take nothing else from this write up, understand that I have no issue with people disliking the P5 translation. That’s totally fine. My problem is with the concept of there existing a ‘correct’ English, or a ‘correct’ translation. My problem is with the repeated emphasis this writer, and others expanding on them, place on their definition of “objective” errors. The vast majority of the moments picked out by this writer are not selections of terrible grammatical errors - and I’d argue that it’s /completely fine/ for a couple of those to exist in a fucking video game - but of what the author calls stiff language. That is to say: Neither meaning nor soul are impaired by the P5 translation.

The reverence with which this author refers to the text - referencing how the translation has ruined one of the ‘greatest RPGs of the last ten years’ for them, and so on, so forth - speaks to a kind of pedestal-hoisting that does no good for anyone. For example, in the Sae moment detailed on the site from the start of the game, with the “psychic detective”; what makes the original so good? In Japanese, the detective says “There’s been a call for you” right before she receives a call on her cell phone. Is this not silly as all fuck? Why is it so much better? Why did Sae’s boss call the detective first, why didn’t he just call her cell phone if he had it the whole time? The English script changes the moment to make the detective seem aware that she’s about to receive the call - emphasizing that the detective and Sae’s boss are working together no one in the scene can be trusted, while also positing Sae as an outsider. Watch the scene again and see if you get what I’m saying. https://youtu.be/f3bVM2mxh4k?t=876

It’s super frustrating that a changes like this get flak from this writer, while the worldview being pushed is one of ‘capturing the spirit, not the words.’ It’s also frustrating that many of the game’s legitimate, real problems (that aren’t fucking, the font used to spell out ‘hello’ on a calculator, god damn guys it’s okay most people have done that before) are ignored - such as the constant battle chatter every time you hit a weakpoint in a game centered on repeatedly exploiting weaknesses, or the intensity of the writing game’s first chapter. The writing is held in extremely high regard, & the translation is being used to try to assert the truth of controversial axioms without actually needing to discuss said assumed “truths.”

I just want to leave with one assertion: There is no “correct” English. It’s okay for a text to sound awkward (especially in visual media) _with the caveat_ that it must get the spirit of the original work across. It’s all right, for sure, for a foreign text to challenge or disrupt the expectations of a native English speaker in its translation. In some ways (and not even all), Persona 5′s translation does this. Is it a perfect translation? No, no translation is. Do you have to like it? No. Should you respect the opinion of players who do (as well as ESL players & those abroad!) enough to avoid making sweeping, generalized statements about the failure of the script to appeal to your individual sensibilities, complete with long, detailed theories as to why other people don’t seem to mind? Please. _Please_. Honestly, y’all make this game sound like it’s Chaos Wars, or Arc Rise Fantasia. The hyperbole is unreal, and it simply needs to stop.

Log: A Journey of a Fangirl

05.17.17

Hello everyone.

I’m writing a post dedicated to seven boys who changed my point of view in every aspect. This might be tiring and I know no one has the patient to finish this but I just want to post and share this for everyone. I’m going to be really thankful if someone will read this.

Please look forward to it.

I’m listening to BTS’ “You Never Walk Alone” album while doing this.

I just want to tell you how much I’m amazed by the group BTS. I’m speaking formally, but I want all of you to know that I’m a very big fan of them – an A.R.M.Y. It’s really amazing how these boys started from the bottom and now they’re getting recognition that they deserve in every part of the world.

As an introduction, let me tell you a story on how I became a fan of them. I actually knew BTS because of my cousin who is a very big KPOP fan and she also introduced me to the KPOP world. At first, she was a fan of both EXO and BTS. While before I was a fan of One Direction, 5 Seconds of Summer, The 1975, and more western bands. I actually used to hate KPOP before (forgive me) because in our country KPOP is has the reputation of being jeje. But anyways, I gave it a try on 2013 I downloaded EXO’s songs – yes I became a fan of EXO first. Once, I even judged a BTS group photo of them wearing school uniforms and they’re like having this photoshoot in a classroom because it was the wallpaper of my cousin’s laptop and I have to use it she even told me ‘forgive me for my wallpaper’ as a joke. Then I had a hiatus with my curiosity.

 I think on the start of 2015, I research about EXO and I really liked them – I even went to their concert in 2016. Then, I stalked my cousin and I saw on her bio and it says ‘kim taehyung’ so because of my curiosity I searched ‘kim taehyung’ on Google. A video compilation of Kim Taehyung showed up and the thumbnail of that video was him and Jimin’s “beach? bitch?” (if you know what I’m saying) and I also saw that he was part of the group BTS. I also searched him on Google images and the first thing that I said was “he’s not even handsome why does she like him” (but man, I was wrong) it contains a lot of fetus pictures of him and I think there was a photo of him where he is pouting. After that, I watched the video compilation on Youtube and I admit, I was entertained by him so I watched more videos of BTS. I don’t know what get into me but yeah 2015 was a year of me stanning KPOP. I used to be a loyal EXO-L but as days passed BTS is getting my attention and I didn’t realize that I focused more on them than EXO.

 2016, one of my most regretful year because BTS went to our country for 2 times to have a concert and I wasn’t able to attend one. First one was the Epilogue and I really had no money that so I can’t attend the concert. But I can remember that I cried on the day that they came here and saw their airport previews (I came home from school and that’s what I’m going to see lmao). The next concert was the MBC Show Champion concert I think? That time I have the money for a Gen Ad ticket but I was in a real dilemma because I felt like it’s unfair if I just came for BTS and they’re just gonna perform a few songs and I don’t even know the other groups that are going to perform. So I didn’t come.

 [~] Let me add something, during the ticket selling of BTS’ TRB concert in Manila it was the same ticket selling for the The 1975’s concert in Manila and I was there during the ticket selling because I will buy a ticket for the The 1975. Before I bought my ticket, there were two girls before me and they were jumping around because they got their tickets and I was wondering what ticket did they buy and I looked at the screen and it says “The Red Bullet tour” with a picture of seven boys in black and then I said to myself “ah it’s KPOP” because I remembered my cousin whaling about it. It’s just a funny story. After all of that – missing Epilogue and Show Champion – I told myself that the next time that BTS would visit our country I MUST ATTEND the concert no matter what.

 Around the ber-months of 2016, my bestfriend (who I used to rant about me missing BTS concerts – became a fan of BTS due to reaction videos that she’s watching), and I was so happy about it! It was also that time that the management who manages KPOP in our country is giving us some hints about iponing (saving) and I was like “holy shit this is it, BTS are coming”. So I bought a coin bank and save some money – even the money that I got from Christmas goes straight through in my coin bank. 2017 around February (I think) came and they announced that BTS are having a concert in our country. I was so shook and I don’t even know how to ask permission to my parents since the last time that they give me a money for a concert was at One Direction’s concert which was like 2 years ago and they don’t also know that I’m a fan of BTS so I was in a real state of panic. My mind is like going to explode because I have some money but I want to be closer to BTS especially that I’m waiting for years to see them (I don’t want to be in the Gen Ad section sorry for being ungrateful to this one). Days past and they revealed the seat plan and I don’t really know what to do because my money is just enough for a Gen Ad section and two of my bestfriends are planning to buy an Upper Box A ticket. I know that my father can add more money to my savings, but I was too scared to ask! But a week before the ticket selling, I finally had the guts to ask my father about it because it’s getting really close!

 Do you want to know how I asked for permission? Lol, I printed it out on a short bond paper and left it in his room before I go to school since he’s driving me to school he would see it  after he drop me off. I was so anxious while I was at our school, my classmates and friends are even wishing me luck. When I got home, I don’t even know but my hands are trembling to see the paper but when I looked at it I screamed because I was so happy that he agreed to it! April 2, it was the day of our graduation and the same as the day of the ticket selling. The ticket selling is at 10 am and our graduation is at 4pm. Around 7am we arrived at the mall and we waited for hours and they finally opened the gates at 10:15AM I was really pissed because of the unfair opening of the gates. My dad told me to go home at 1pm even if I still don’t have a ticket and I was really anxious because it’s been hours at the counter and line is not moving a single inch. But around 12pm a miracle happened and me and my friends got our tickets so we rushed off to go home and had a successful graduation. I actually worked hard to be an annual honor so the concert ticket can be my reward after all of my hardworks since I never asked something from my parents even if I achieve something in school. May 7, 2017 – I finally saw them and it really changed my life.

 BTS, an amazing group of seven boys, I know I wasn’t here during the start of the career but I’m very thankful that I knew them. But even as a fan of them for 2 years, you can really see their humble beginnings and their rich success today. You can really see how they worked hard to receive all of their achievements. You can feel their love for the fans to the point that they unite as not just as a fandom but as a family. What’s more important is the passion that I felt after seeing them live. I actually been in a lot of concerts but I never cried so hard before when I attended their concert. During ‘Not today’ I admit I cried a lot even if it’s just the start, but what amazed me is there were some songs that made me cry like my tears would just fall and I would not realize that I was crying especially on their solo songs. One thing that I felt during the concert was the DEDICATION. It’s just WOW! I just realized how fast the concert went by because they were both talking in English and our native language which is really amazing because it was clean and you can see the perseverance that they had to memorize those phrases and words. They didn’t need a translator the whole concert to communicate with us, isn’t that amazing? What I also liked is the unity of the ARMYs inside the arena especially in singing their songs, fanchants, and doing the fan projects. Their amazing talent to perform live also touched my soul.

 Moving on (wow this is long), this part is where I’m going to tell you on how much I appreciate the members one by one.

 Kim Namjoon

I just want to give applause to this guy. His performance (Reflection) is really heart-touching. How dedicated this guy can be? – from guiding his members, producing songs, his warm words, never forgetting to thank ARMYs, working hard to communicate to other by language, being a leader, and many more. I just can’t believe that someone like you truly exists. Always remember that we’re thankful for you uri, leader-nim! You also have the patience on everything. Your music works are actually a real masterpiece that cannot be destroyed especially that it shows your real passion in this industry. I also want to thank you for being the foundation of the group and without you I cannot imagine what BTS would be.

  Kim Seokjin

I am truly thankful for this guy. His patient is really amazing especially when it comes to the maknae line like he always let them tease him even if he’s the eldest one. Thank you for bringing us jokes and for making us laugh through it (let’s be honest here his jokes are not really funny but what’s funny is the way that he’s delivering it), for taking care of six kids and being like their mother in the group, making sure that they eat well, for being also sweet to the fans (I will never forget the ‘mahal kita’ that he wrote on a paper to show us). I also want to praise you for your great visuals, your amazing vocals, and the most important is your willpower on dancing even if it is your weakest point you worked really hard to keep up with the other members despite of the group’s killer choreographies.  

  Jung Hoseok

A beautiful ray of sunshine. This one really got me during the concert. He was all smiley! Then one second he would turn into a sexy monster. His dancing and vocal skills are really amazing in person! You can really feel his happiness and when he’s there the surrounding’s actually turning into unicorns and sunflowers. As you can see, he’s really one of the most hardworking members in the group – from doing choreographies and teaching the members about the choreography. What I also like about you is you’re never afraid to show you emotions to the fans. He’s also very patient. I really wish for your happiness for a long time ♥ you’re always going to be our hope and angel!

  Park Jimin

To our no. 1 mochi, we all know how much you’ve worked hard to take care of every member. You never let someone left out and there were times that you acted like the oldest brother because of your concern to everyone. I hope that you’ll have more confidence on yourself because honey you’re so talented! You never fail to show how grateful you are to every member and you never fail to be support each one of them. Your thoughtfulness melts our heart as well as your beautiful eye smile. Thank you also for showing your love for us, ARMYs!

  Jeon jungkook

You really deserve the title of being the ‘golden maknae’ hands down! To the youngest in the group, I really have a lot to say to you. I know how much you care for your hyungs and you don’t want to be a burden on their shoulders. You show how strong you are so your hyungs won’t have to worry and I think it’s very thoughtful of you for the members. I also like your carefree personality. You always show how you worked hard on something. Day by day, you made us realize that you’re no longer the baby Kookie that we used to see but now you’ve grown up as a very manly man. But forever and always you’ll still be the baby in the group!

  Min Yoongi

First of all, if Min Yoongi would have his own solo concert I would definitely attend it. If you ever see this guy perform infront of your own eyes, you will never doubt his experience in life and can truly feel every words coming from his mouth are coming from his heart. From being the guy who’s having difficulty to sell his mixtape to a guy who’s now producing songs for himself, the group, and also to other artists. Min Yoongi, you’re really an inspiration to everyone. We all know that you have a tsundere personality and it’s all fine because even if you don’t show it we know how much you love Bangtan and ARMYs. You’ve reached far and became an inspiration to us because you never once gave up to reach for your dreams.

  Kim Taehyung

Get ready for this one. To my ultimate bias in the group, to the guy who made me curious and discover about BTS, can I just tell you how much I love you? No one has actually made me feel like this and it sounds really cheesy because you don’t even know me. I just want to tell you the things that I like about you. I like the way you smile, your deep voice, your funny attitude, your fanservice, how true you are to yourself and to the people around you, your seriousness at times, the way you treasure your family, there’s a lot more but I just want you to know that I love every single thing about you. You make my heart flutter by just seeing a photo of you. What more when I saw you live – I can’t believe how unreal you look but you’re just there infront of me even if you can’t see me from the crowd. I waited for a long time to see you and the moment finally came. I know it’s unfair but I really focused a lot on you during the concert because it might be the last chance that I’m going to see you (but I’m hoping not). After the concert and happenings, I really told myself that the next time that I’m going to see you I hope that I won’t be sections away from you but I’m hoping that the stage and the barricades would just be the barrier between us. I hope that the next time that I’m going to take a picture with you it would not be a standee anymore. Am I dreaming too much? But I don’t think it’s not bad to dream big if what you’re aiming for is your inspiration for a long time. I already told you that I love you but I’m pretty sure that you didn’t hear it because I’m just one of those people who told you that in the crowd. But it’s really nice to shout it out while you were infront of me. I hope that I can tell that to you in person even if you would just take it from me as a fan. I hope that I can thank you how much you’ve changed my life in a better way. Thank you for introducing me to BTS. I love you. I wish for your endless happiness, healthy life and a bright future for you and the boys.

 All in all, thank you BANGTAN SONYEONDAN for touching our hearts with your hardworks. It’s definitely worth it to be destined as your fan because you never disappoint us. You deserve the recognition that you’re getting from your music, your bond as a group, focus and courage. I also want to thank the roots of this group, BANG PD-nim and of course to the staffs who are always taking care of boy – to Big Hit Entertainment. I wish for your long-time success. Now back to the boys, please don’t stop on giving your best and please live happily because that’s what we really want for you. Don’t also forget to be healthy at all times! Please don’t listen to the people who are hating on you and questioning your success because they don’t even know what you guys went through to achieve what you are now.

 Lastly, in my journey as a fangirl I want to give a shoutout to my supportive bestfriends – 7H. To my childhood bestfriend, Ysa. To Zoe, because she’s also my main fam. Of course, to Happee Sy who managed BTS’ concert in our country. I’m really thankful for her because she made it possible for us to see BTS and even gave us hints about it so we can save some money beforehand. To my ever supporting parents you da best!!

 All in all, BTS and to the people who I encountered through this journey, I salute you!

 Yours truly,

Geleen