wolfstar wips

So I'm using the @hprecfest day 12 prompt "a WIP you're following" to post a short rec list of WIPs that has been sitting in my drafts for so long now I even had to remove a fic that had been finished in the meanwhile!

Something rotten in Grimmauld Place by @plecotusauritus (8,802 words, Hamlet AU) This is a wolfstar Hamlet AU, need I say more?? I've never much cared or thought about Hamlet since I read it in school but this fic (almost) makes me want to reread Hamlet and I can't wait to see where the story goes next, I love the atmosphere this fic captures, the lovely writing style and just seeing all these characters we know so well fit into the plot of Hamlet is so, so cool!!

the oldest recipe for parsnip soup by @eyra (10.639 words, modern AU, christmas fic) Getting another fic by eyra for the holidays has been such a wonderful treat! I love the whole setting and the characters of this fic so much already, especially Sirius!! And the writing and all the descriptions are so, so beautiful, as always, highly recommend checking it out!!

Welcome to Aphrodite by @de-sire-blog & @rhabarberjunge (18.957 words, magical AU, secret identities) this is one of those fics I've read a while ago, but I keep thinking about it because I loved it so much. I don't want to give away too much of the plot, but the premise is Sirius finding a hidden, adults-only club that makes people's secret desires come true, and of course Sirius's secret desire is Remus... It's hot, it's fun, and it's incredibly angsty, I love it.

Stitched into My Skin by @squintclover (19.297 words, canon divergent AU, memory loss) I love the heartache and all the bittersweetness that comes with memory loss fics so much already, and I am so obsessed with the way it's been done in this fic. The premise of the fic is Peter casting a memory loss charm on Sirius on October 31st 1981, which leads to Remus raising Harry and randomly coming across Sirius years later, only Sirius doesn't remember him. I'm so intrigued by the first few chapters already and can't wait to see where the story goes next!

Marauder FM by @hollyivydruzy (26.402 words, modern AU, radio AU, enemies to friends to lovers) I know I've recced this fic before but I will never shut up about it because I love it, and especially this fic's Remus so, so much! It's an iconic, funny radio AU set in London, and I wish the radio shows from this fic were real because I would listen to Sirius's radio show every morning if I could. I just love the vibe of all of them working at the radio station together and the slow burn enemies to friends (to lovers) is so delicious!

The Patchwork of Us by @tracingpatternswrites (27.502 words, modern AU, enemies to lovers, co-parenting Teddy) This is such a lovely fic about Sirius and Remus navigating the difficult situation of co-parenting Teddy after Tonks dies, I love the domesticity and the enemies to lovers vibe of this fic so much!

The Picture of Sirius Black by @lynxindisguise (30.049 words, Dorian Gray AU) okay anyone who has ever seen my blog knows how much I love lynx's writing, which is why I am also obsessed with this fic, even though it's a genre I'm usually not that familiar with. It's a Dorian Gray AU, it's gothic horror but especially the first few chapters are also giving victorian romcom with murder sideplot vibes (and I mean this as the biggest compliment), this fic will make you laugh and cry and want to murder some of these characters yourself maybe.

Only Fools Are Satisfied by grumposaur (@pancakehouse) (38.353 words, modern AU, tennis AU). I really love the exploration of Sirius's family dynamics in the context of him being a professional athlete in this fic, and Remus with his tanlines and freckles is everything!!

Neon Moon by @krethes (47.698 words, modern AU, cowboy stripper Remus AU, Las Vegas) I didn't know how much I needed Remus to be a stripper and a cowboy before I read this fic, but now I do and I love him!! The whole premise of them meeting at a strip club while Sirius is out on James's bachelor party is so iconic, and the vibes of the fic are just overall excellent, highly recommend checking it out!

on another ocean by @colgatebluemintygel (118.148 words, modern AU, backpacking/interrail, friends with benefits) Where do I even start? This is an incredible fic, one of my all time faves, I've reread some of the chapters several times now and am so obsessed with this fic's Remus in his socks and sandals, driving Sirius crazy with lust. Also I will not spoil it for anyone who hasn't read it, but the scene in the budapest chapter in the club bathroom features one of my favorite Sirius moments of all time, across all universes haha.

marginalia by @spindrifters (266.547 words, magical AU, canon divergent AU - Grindelwald won, slavery AU) I'm having a hard time trying to put my love for this fic into words in just a short paragraph. This fic is so unique in its setting, and it's so beautifully written and asks & answers the question "what if Grindelwald had won?" in such an incredible, highly political and also very immersive way, if you haven't read it already I really recommend checking it out (as well as the already complete Tedromeda spinoff set in the same world, history books!!!).

Staying Strangers by 3amAndCounting (319,368 words, modern AU, texting fic, university AU). This is one of my comfort fics, I love a good texting AU, this is quite a popular fic anyways but if you haven't read it and like modern AUs & texting fics (though it isn't all just texting) go check it out!

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers!

tagged by @extraordinarilyextreme 🕺🏻

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 86… wow! 61 of them are from the past 3 years (2020-2023) and then the other 25 span from (2011-2019) (would not recommend)

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 827,446!

3. What fandoms do you write for? Right now I’m writing mainly for Oz and 成化十四年 (if you count a very slooooow moving WIP). Other fandoms: X-Men comics, Hamlet, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, HxH, Need for Speed, Avengers, 狂飙, TWD, and Nikita (lol). I have also written for a couple fandoms that I left behind in my ffnet days/orphaned works for on ao3.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

We Who Have The Souls (part 3 of a series) - HxH - Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck (681 kudos)

The Horror Not To Be Surveyed (part 1 of a series) - HxH - Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck (660 kudos）

Amethyst Remembrance (part 2 of a series) - HxH - Illumi Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck (483 kudos)

Suppositions - The Walking Dead - Daryl Dixon/Glenn (444 kudos)

Ash is Purest White - 成化十四年 - Ding Rong/Wang Zhi (179 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Once I actually started participating in fandom, I realised that this was something people strive to do, so I try to respond more now as well. Previously I did not respond to comments because I didn’t like how Ao3 counts author comments in the number of comments/reviews a fic had. I used to want to know exactly how many other people commented on my fic, probably because I got so few comments lol, and then it was just a habit not to reply. I try harder to reply now because I also like it when authors reply to my comments :)

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? LOL major character death fic, When Tomorrow Comes, EASILY. I legit cried while cooking when I was making dinner during the time that I was writing this. The masochism was real but the sadism was realer (making the group chat reap what they sowed lol)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Hm! I have a couple that are rather fluffy but I would say the harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun (yeah yeah... hozier lyric title. sue me). They get married~

8. Do you get hate on fics? I tend to write small ships and rarepairs, so I think that’s sort of impossible tbh. I did get flamed a couple of times on ffnet back in those days, but... the joke was on the ppl flaming me, probably. You were expecting greatness from a 12 year old.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I write really cringe explicit scenes (not on purpose... that’s just how they turn out imo) but I've nver written pwp or anything.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? We shan’t speak of it and you’ll never find it, either.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of… again, I don’t really write stuff that gets on anyone’s radar, I don’t think.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! I have had 5 fics translated into Russian and one translated into Chinese! <3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? The crossover that shall not be named.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? I know my url is literally rongzhi but believe me when I say I don't have one lol

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? (puts head in my hands) I don’t want to way I won’t finish things but I have multiple rongzhi wips still on the back burner (I’m committed to finishing at least ONE of them for sure)… Ugh, but of the fics I've already started posting, I doubt I’ll ever finish The Nineteenth Year of Chenghua or after the autumn breeze. Sadly, I was a little too ambitious about starting both multi-chapter fics. I’m more broken up about the former though, because it is EXACTLY my cup of tea… as a reader! Lol. I don't know... Maybe... I have bits and pieces written but 🙄

16. What are your writing strengths? I wanna say uhhhh dialogue?? According to trusted sources (much screaming and cursing), I have also been known to write some pretty devastating angst!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Description for sure… Plot… sometimes, if there is one… Probably not the best…

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I'll write other languages into the dialogue of a fic if it's in character/appropriate. I don't see any issue in that—only issue is for ME... if I don't speak the language, I have to research how to make it not sound too machine translated, because I know how silly that will come across to native/fluent speakers if they read it. Even for my cfandom fics, there are some words like honorifics that I just romanise because I don't like to translate them to whatever the eng subs say.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I wrote Harry Potter fanfic in third grade before I knew what fanfic was, I guess. And then I wrote Harry Potter x Twilight fanfic in middle school once I did ... No, I do not come from noble beginnings... No, the HPxTwi crossovers are not the one that shall not be named. I also wrote a lot of X-men (comics) fanfic before I knew what fic was!

20. Favorite fic you've written? HMMM… Kind of partial to Bolt From The Blue (Is it bc Susu has gassed me up about it so much? Who can say?) (jk, I am very proud of that one and I did enjoy write it a lot!). More recently, I really like writing In the Blink of an Eye, just because it was in 2nd person which I haven’t written since my Homestuck days (you’ll never find those fics either). It was just fun to write!

tagging: @eatprayworm @annadream @merelyafigment @tocadoguara @qinzai @catholicjigglypuff @inrainprose and anyone else who wants to do this! Consider yourself tagged!

It is not 7 am anymore but top 5 books read this year? 😄

I have read 44 books so far this year and most of them were very good so I don't know how I'm supposed to pick just 5 :'''D

in reverse chronological order

THE DEATH I GAVE HIM - EM X. LIU

this is an utterly unhinged locked room sci-fi murder mystery retelling of Hamlet in which Horatio is an AI and he and Hamlet have a deeply co-dependent and sexual relationship. This book is exactly the kind of thing tumblr would eat up with a spoon, so tumblr pls get on this. The basic plot is: a deeply depressed and suicidal Hamlet (Hayden) is working on a formula that can make one immortal. He is obsessed with beating death. Then his dad is murdered and the labs go on lockdown and more people die because *gestures* Hamlet is Hamlet even when his name is Hayden, and Horatio the AI does his best to keep Hamlet alive and also be a voice of reason except he's too biased. By happenstance I had read this Hamlet/Faust crossover fic (Hemlock & Wine) before reading this book, and in this fic Hamlet is obsessed with necromancy and Horatio is trying to save him. it set the mood nicely. 

You know how in Hamlet everyone dies and at the end Horatio is the only one alive with Hamlet dead in his arms? What if I told you in this book it's reversed?

WILD AND WICKED THINGS - FRANCESCA MAY

Dark, witchy, historical fantasy - set after WW1 on a fictional island off the Yorkshire coast, very 20s glam with a dark undercurrent. Witchcraft is banned, but Annie is a witch. when her father dies she inherits his house on Crow Island and goes over there to sort that out and rents a house next to what turns out to be a Den of Iniquity, not just because of the lavish parties with illegal (magical) substances but because it's queer. Then follows a dark plot involving a blood debt and necromancy and power hungry men (well, one power hungry man) and fragile old and new relationships and dark secrets and also Annie and Emmeline get accidentally magically bonded to each other (but also are in love/lust with each other) and look, I could not stop reading. 

DRAGONFALL - L.R. LAM

listen I LOVE dragon books and I've read and loved everything L.R. Lam has written so when I heard an epic dragon fantasy was coming? I WAS STOKED. this is the first in I think a trilogy and it ticks all my boxes:

sentient dragons with their own history, language, society, etc

sexy dragons?? i didn't realise i needed sexy dragons until I read Aliette de Bodard's Dominion of the Fallen trilogy or the Invisible Library series by Genevieve Cogman, but hey. SEXY DRAGONS

queernorm world! our second protag Arcady is nonbinary and uses any pronouns, thank u for your service L.R. Lam

very cool world building and magic system 

BETRAYAAAALLL 

I can't wait for book 2

PORTRAIT OF A THIEF - GRACE D. LI

look this post will explain everything. suffice to say: pretentious college students steal priceless art.

THE BEAUTIFUL ONES - SILVIA MORENO-GARCIA

This is a kind of historical romance but it's fantasy and it doesn't follow conventional romance novel structure (I was SO nervous it wouldn't end happily because I didn't know what to expect from the narrative I was being given, but THANK GOD IT DID). it's very fantasy of manners. it makes a lot of pointed commentary about colonialism and colourism. it's absolutely lush. I love this book a lot, it was so engaging and gripping. the characters are allowed to be flawed and assholes and complex and weak and kind - it's very similar to sprawling historical/saga books with a large cast of people with conflicting wants and needs and scheming and tragedy and love and all that, but distilled into a neat compact package focusing on three people. It's not a long book, it's quite a slim volume for what it is, but it's perfectly paced so you don't notice that you're not actually reading a 900 page family saga.

other standalones I read this year that I think are WELL worth reading:

CAMP DAMASCUS - CHUCK TINGLE

YOU MADE A FOOL OF DEATH WITH YOUR BEAUTY - AKWAEKE EMEZI

YELLOWFACE - R.F. KUANG

HONOURABLE MENTIONS GO TO:

two series I read this year that I also absolutely loved

THE SEVEN DEVILS DUOLOGY - ELIZABETH MAY & L.R. LAM

you know this post right?

[image id: post by worflesbian on july 4 saying 'sci fi is when women in tank tops are covered in grease and sweat and are shouting at people and racing against time to save lives' reblogged by leafcrunch on july 13 with a screenshot addition of the tag #half a jumpsuit!!! you forgot half a jumpsuit!!!!']

this is that series. it is rebels in space overthrowing an evil space empire. it's all the worst bits of imperialism and colonialism and patriarchy distilled into one evil empire and all the best bits of firefly and star wars distilled into the rebellion. there are cool scifi science bits. this would be amazing as a two season series by competent tv makers, it's very cinematic in scope, but the characters are what give this life.

THE WINTERNIGHT TRILOGY - KATHERINE ARDEN

this is a family saga of a kind, set in medieval Russia during a time when Russia was being Christianised. I don't know how to explain this series because it's so complex and so rich. There is a main character - Vasya - but other characters also get POV sections. the first book takes quite a while before we even get to Vasya in 'the present' so to speak, this is a trilogy that isn't afraid of taking its time to tell a story. Vasya is a witch who can see/communicate with Russian 'folklore' spirits, these spirits are fading with the coming of Christianity. There is an unhinged priest, the winter king Morozko whom Vasya has an intense relationship with, Vasya's brother (a monk, based on a real person), Vasya's sister (married to the Tsar, a real person), and just...god, I don't know. I loved everything about this trilogy, the way it humanised historical figures, the way it didn't demonise either the folklore spirits (who are allowed to be non-human beings devoid of human morality! so refreshing) or the Christians, but rather conveyed how a time of upheaval like this had to have been very scary and tumultous. an absolute treat.

I did also read the entire Charm of Magpies series by KJ Charles including the spinoffs, which I really enjoyed.

20 questions for fic writers

i was tagged by @majorbaby to answer these—thank you so much!!!!!!!

i'll tag @draftdodgerag / @radioprune/ @sightofsea and anyone else who'd like to do this! answers below:

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? a grand total of five :D

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 28,313 words!

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently have only published for mash, but i have fics for the man from uncle, star trek, star wars, doctor who, twin peaks, starsky and hutch, and black sails in drafts

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? i only have five fics on ao3 LOL

5. Do you respond to comments? i do my best to!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i suppose it's (open your hands) given it takes place before "bottoms up" which is fairly angsty in the overall houlifield arc

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? between the two longform fics i've posted—someone is waiting and so this is the word—they both have happy endings! i suppose whatever is happier depends on if you're more of a fan of piercintyre or hunnihawk endgame

8. Do you get hate on fics? i've never received any direct hate, so none that i'm aware of.................... 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes; not usually plain pwp because i like having somewhat of a story tied to the smut but every once in a while it's less plot-driven

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? i have not written any crossovers nor do i particularly feel any want to

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? nope/not to my knowledge, hope to keep it that way!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? no but would be honored and open to granting permission to do so!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no, don't really have interest in doing so (LOL)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? legitimately such a hard question lol; there are some ships that i don't even think about actively shipping because in my mind i nearly forget that they're not canon (see: spirk, skysolo, albert/dale, illya and napoleon, etc.) whereas there are certain relationship dynamics that continue to make me feel like the top of my head is being torn off and i think always will (twelveclara is absolutely insanity inducing, vanerackham also being a ship that really took over my brain and has not let go since, honorable mention to whatever barisi did to my psyche as a seventeen year old); not to mention all the relationships from non-fandom (for lack of a better term) media that i find extraordinarily emotionally impactful (tommy and axel in edge of the city, omar and johnny in my beautiful laundrette, whatever is happening between hamlet ophelia and horatio, same with karen joe and martha in these three, could name plenty of books and films and plays that this happens to me with)

all of this to say, it probably is piercintyre (still with a lot of love for hunnihawk) or spirk

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i have a few mash fic drafts that have been sitting in my notes app since literally 2019 so we will see if those ever see the light of day lmfao

16. What are your writing strengths? i think i'm very good at third person limited POV, which is how i write all of my fics (i don't like first person POV fics, despise omniscient, and find second person hardest to write); i also think that i'm pretty strong with narrative structure (comes with being a dramaturg lol) and internal dramaturgy and detail when it comes to researching for my writing

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i don't write linearly (this applies to my academic writing as well as fics) which i think does often make it harder on myself when piecing together a bunch of vignettes and trying to make them flow; i think that my understanding of narrative structure helps me get around this but i do wish i didn't always throw in an obstacle to my own writing. i also think i can be a bit too succinct (this is more a challenge with my academic writing than my fics imho but is a note that i get consistently from my committee haha)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? if the writer actually knows how to speak it and isn't just throwing text into google translate on a wing and a prayer, i don't always HATE it hate it; i've read a few good the man from uncle fics where if illya is speaking in ukranian or russian it's either mentioned in a character's POV or the text is put in italics which i think is a more effective device in communicating that the characters are speaking another language rather than the one the fic is written in

19. First fandom you wrote for? i wrote very bad doctor who and sherlock fanfiction when i was in middle school which i published on deviantart LMFAOOOOOOO

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? i think the honor has to go to someone is waiting—it was just such a labor of love and weaving in all of the sondheim references that have been so important to me with a longform exploration of hawkeye's takes on love was (as cheesy as it is to say) really special to me as a writer and it means so much that it resonated with so many people! (plus it has a very good soundtrack)

FUCK ME OKAY.

I am meant to write a fucking thesis. For university. On the Oedipus complex and Electra complex in Hamlet. THAT is what I am meant to do.

It’s important. Uni is my life. I love writing. I love studying. I have a damn degree in English lit and phonetics/grammar whathaveyou.

WHAT DO I DO YOU ASK!???

I plan a fucking fic detailing Izzy’s life with Ed pre-Stede.

I fucking write the thing and think, nah, this will be short and sweet. I AM NOW FOURTEEN PAGES INTO SMUT AND CO-DEPENDENCY.

Edizzy has rotted my brain.

Send help.

i don't usually read fic, but when i do, it's this author's fic

anyway thank you for your latest fic it oof hopefully i retrieve my ao3 account and comment on it properly but for now just please be aware that your writing makes people feel things to the extent they turn into incoherent puddles also, if that's not too much trouble, would you care to share your thoughts on the approximate timeline of events leading up to the creation of the healing church? i for some reason always assumed that it formed into that powerful organisation sometime after laurence, er, died (and his death being the foundation of the church) but then many other events do not fall into place or should i better look out for your larger healing church fic? anyway, thank you so much again

Haha amazing, thank you for this. My intent is always for my writing to “make people feel things to the extent they turn into incoherent puddles”. 

I’ve heard multiple versions of the “Healing Church only became a Big Deal™ after Laurence’s death” theory, which is interesting itself, so sure, why not. Personally I like Laurence’s political savvy and Machiavellian manoeuvring too much to disregard his role in the Church’s rise and fall, at the very least until the Burning of Old Yharnam and creation of the Hunter’s Dream. In my own timeline, the events of the Fishing Hamlet trigger, in part, the decision for Laurence & Co to break away from Byrgenwerth, in conjunction with the eventual results of their covert experiments with Healing Blood, now stable and useable on the masses. Between that and the Healing Church at its peak are a few years of struggling to prove the Blood’s potency in Yharnam proper, rubbing shoulders with politicians and gentry to attract wealthy patrons willing to fund their research, and secretly recruiting (while distancing themselves publicly) from Byrgenwerth, which at this time, post-Fishing Hamlet, is all about eyes eyes eyes. 

I love the idea that the Church comes to power, holds it comfortably for at least three decades or so (during which the Cainhurst massacre happens, the Choir is founded/Ebrietas is discovered, Mensis breaks off as an independent institution, etc etc). And then things begin to unravel and shit goes from bad to worse real fast.  

I’d like to maybe work through some of this in future fics after chewing on it a bit more. Also I genuinely appreciate other folks’ headcanons as a source of inspiration even if they’re vastly different from mine. 

Ty for taking the time to read the fics, it’s always super appreciated •ᴗ• Here is an on-topic young Byrgenwerth-era Gehrman in a Fashionably Oversized Coat, just because. 

wingedflight masterpost

Welcome, all!

I’m Meagan, aka Winged, and I’ve been kicking around the Narnia fandom since 2008! In addition to writing for random other fandoms over the years, I’ve recently fallen deep into Danny Phantom. So I figured this was a great time to make a little intro masterlist of the sort of stories you can find over on my AO3!

Narnia 🦁

I…have written so much Narnia, y’all. I won’t link absolutely everything but will highlight series and and personal favs:

In Some Darker Age: a collection of mostly unconnected dark AUs spanning the entirety of the series. Including Susan as Jadis, and witchy!Jill.

📖 however deep the magic lies: Susan becomes Jadis.

📖 by the blood of the stars: Witchy Jill is the Lady of the Green Kirtle’s apprentice.

📖 to perish in fire and water: a sort-of sequel to Witchy Jill, also featuring Susan!Jadis and the end of the world.

In a Lighter Age: parodies, crackfic, and other absurd Narnia AUs. Featuring my very favourite: BTS in Narnia.

📖 Roll for Initiative: D&D AU of the Prince Caspian movie

📖 if one could drive forever: crossover of Last Battle and that infamous Supernatural finale

📖 Beyond Typical Sightseeing: Members of BTS keep falling into Narnia

Multi-Chapter Stories:

📖 Against All the Powers Ranged: Edmund time-travels through Charn and meets Jadis’ sister again and again

📖 The Splendour of the Stars: Peridan/Edmund during the Golden Age, with bonus Aravis

One-Shots:

📖 Garbed in Feathers or Scales: Susan visits the island of the Sirens.

📖 Witching Season: Jadis seduces the last pre-Winter king of Narnia

📖 White Lilies: an asexual queen of Narnia finds her heir

📖 Tidings from Beaversdam: Caspian/Edmund post VDT ruling Narnia together

[See all Narnia fic]

Danny Phantom 👻

📖 Ghost Town: Valerie investigates Amity Park nine years after all its citizens disappeared (Invisobang 2022)

📖 Brother Mine: Jazz returns to Amity Park to reconnect with feral Danny

📖 Something in the Shadows: Jazz's college roommate learns about ghosts (companion to Brother Mine)

📖 Cool Tones: Paulina Phantom AU (Reality Trip zine)

📖 Half Rage: Danny has Lazarus Pit Madness (DC-Fusion)

📖 Something Rotten: Hamlet AU with bonus Ghost King AU (Invisobang 2023)

[See all Danny Phantom fic]

Other Fandoms 📚

12 Monkeys

📖 Strange Happenings at the Deacon Brothers Bar: post-series, Deacon meets some strange people

Among Us

📖 Oh Blue, If Only You Knew: Time Travel fic

Everything Everywhere All At Once

📖 Knife Skills: Chad and Raccacoonie origin story

Lockwood & Co

📖 Locked: Norrie experiences Ghost Lock

Artemis Fowl / Umbrella Academy

📖 Regarding the Likelihood of Dodging Certain Death: Artemis and Number Five work together to stop yet another apocalypse

Oooh Gehrman for the character questions?

Character impressions

First impression

Same with Maria but also that he looked so sad in his wheelchair I thought he was a gag character 💀💀 and then I read and listened to his lore and now I feel bad. Really bad. Sorry gehrman

Impression now

Holy shit do I feel bad for him. My man still thinks/assumes most of his friends are still alive when really he’s the last one left of the old hunters. He cries to Laurence in his sleep and even talks about Ludwig in a good light,,,, he just misses them so much but the dream and his age are making him lose his memories of them. He even starts to forget his own name.

Favorite moment

Again in his cutscene where he straightens the burial blade into its scythe form. You can just tell how skilled he is. And it also mirrors Maria’s cutscene. She was his greatest student after all.

Idea for a story

I have a mighty need for a fic exploring how Gehrman and Laurence discovered Flora and found out how to summon her. And how did Gehrman get an umbilical cord?? So many possibilities

Unpopular opinion

Sorry to say but the Doll was for mourning. He made her out of grief and isolation that’s why it’s found only in the workshop. I see Gehrman not having the best coping mechanisms so he returned back to his roots of engineering and craftsmanship when at the peak of his grief. It was not for dubious activities. He just wanted his student/pseudo daughter back but he did it in a really unhealthy way.

Favorite relationship

MOON DIVORCE ‼️‼️ “oh Laurence 😔 what’s taking you so long” okay old man 🤨. Lunablade (gehrman/Ludwig) is starting to become a favourite too. And moon dihorse is just funny

Favorite headcanon

I see him losing his leg in the massacre of the fishing hamlet. Maybe protecting Laurence and getting some kind of acidic vomit on his leg so they had no choice but to cut it off. Maybe it’ll be the first time Laurence and co decide to use the old blood because they were doing the amputation in a hurry and if they didn’t use it he would’ve bled out. So in turn, Gehrman was their first ever human trial for the blood and it worked.

Hello! If I may ask, do you have any Darkest Dungeon fic recommendations? Also, thank you so much for all of the work you do for references! It really has helped!

Glad to know the refs are still useful, even after so long (this blog turns two years old on Tuesday!)

About fanfic recommendations, I’m not caught up on my ‘Marked for later’ list, so there might be some good works out there I’m missing. But from the ones I’ve read, I have lots of recs here on my bookmarks. Feel free to go through them, you can filter it to fit to your tastes!

I’d like to personally recommend a few underrated gems (works at around less than 50 kudos), none are explicit unless I say so:

“One and a Half Men” by BeveStuscemi, 2306 words-- A light-hearted one-shot based on that Occultist camping skill bark where he’s instructing others to sing! A very fun read, the characters laughing and having a bit of fun together did make me smile and, not to spoil much, the Black Beast’s reaction made me laugh.

“A Lover’s Kiss” by wyrd_eater, 9036 words-- A very cathartic one-shot in which Reynauld comes back to life only to find out Dismas was gone. Spiraling down into his grief, prayer no longer brings him comfort, and desperation eventually leads him to the flagellation chambers. This one contains graphic self-flagellation scenes that might be hard to read for some, but it’s super cathartic and I do recommend it if you’re looking for something raw and full of emotional release. Read Hieromania before this one!

“Solstice Swap” by Carpe Natem, 10204 words-- An incredibly adorable one-shot where Dismas is struggling to find a worthy gift for Alhazred, but luckily the women of the Hamlet have some suggestions. As the fic progresses, we come to find out how the Highwayman truly feels about the Occultist, and I love every step of it.

“Temp Job” by EnemyJoestar, 3573 words-- An explicit +18 one-shot featuring Dismas + a temporary co-worker brigand. It happens in the same universe as “Denouncing the Desert”, one of my fav ongoing DD longfics focused on Antiquarian/Shieldbreaker definitely worth the read too! But you don’t need to read the longfic beforehand to appreciate the p0rn >:)

That’s it for now, lest this post gets too big! I do have a ‘fanfic rec’ tag, but it’s usually just me talking over and over about “Denouncing the Desert” or “The Little Deaths” (another underrated explicit + emotional work!), sorry for repeating myself, I really imprinted on those two pieces of works like a duckling.

I love the quote you pull up for your Jay Meta, and am curious.

Do you know any good quotes that Jason would likely use to talk about being remembered or misremembered?

Hilariously this is a much older idea than any civilian Jay fics. It was actually inspired by a long finished fic where Bruce realized Jason alive cos Ra's didn't steal his corpse to distract him during the Babel incident.

Anyway I always kind of liked the idea of an alt ending where Jason did go home (Complicated reasons) and arrived as Tim was dissing him and being told off by Bruce for it. And was like, "What classical quote would Jason whip out for this scenario, to show who he is, flex on this rude little shit, and generally be a nerd?"

there's def something good in "hamlet" about violating memory, but i'd have to skim through it to find it, because none of the fragments i know by heart contain it. but i can think of a couple of other quotes, although not necessarily anything that jason himself would say, rather things that make sense for the reader:

first and foremost: “And maybe you can’t know me now. / Maybe I’m just blood. Whatever that’s for.”  from "in the pines” by alice notley. the "maybe you can't know me now" being a sort of acceptence that this grief will not go away, and his image will always be distorted by it. and "maybe i'm just blood." refering to his death and the fact that he is reduced to it. an image of his bloodied robin costume comes to my mind, later washed and displayed as the memorial. "whatever that's for." self-explanatory. his death didn't actually mean anything. the grief is obsolete with him back and alive.

“there was a Helen before there was a War / but who remembers her?” From “winter love” by H.D. <- (sounds crazy but makes sense in this context) jay as helen and War = death.

also, not literary text, but i wanted to mention some songs:

not to be basic but there are these lines in suki waterhouse’s “good looking”: “I’m not who i am to anyone, no, not me at all / I’m not who I am to anyone these days, not at all” and they always make me think about jay.

i've been obsessed with "i appear missing" by queens of the stone age recently and there are some lines that also resonate: "Prisoner on the loose / Description: / A spitting image of me / Except for a heart-shaped hole where the hope runs out", then "Shock me awake / Tear me apart / Pinned like a note in a hospital gown", "Cast off like a stone / Feelings, raw and exposed when I'm out of control / Pieces were stolen from me / But dare I say, given away" and finally "I appear missing now (...) / One day I hope / I'm someone you'd met" <- i think all of them can be read in terms of violated image and memory.

Wounds

Hey folks! This fic has mentions of PTSD, blood & injuries, processing trauma, and fire. Please take care of yourselves! Love you all<3

Horatio lay awake, staring up at the ceiling of his room. He rolled over to one side, looked at his clock, and sighed. 1:31 A.M. He had always felt so much responsibility to be the one who took care of everyone else- made sure they were sleeping, eating, hydrating, etc. But ever since earlier that year, with his run-in with Maggie and Laertes in France, he’d barely been able to do any of that for himself. His bandages still smart to take off and change every morning, and he could barely stay asleep (on the rare occasion that he actually fell asleep) because that girl’s glaring face would appear, watching him. Even if his dream had nothing to do with her, she’d still be there, just watching him. Every single time Laertes so much as walked in the room, he could feel himself physically start to tense up, even though he knew he’d be completely safe and that his friends would be there to support him.

Horatio used to love candles. Reading by candlelight used to be one of his favorite things to do in his free time. But ever since Notre Dame, he couldn’t have one anywhere near him without his hands starting to shake. And it made him feel so weak and helpless, that every time anyone raised their voice or got excited or passionate about something, the muscle under his right eye would begin to twitch. And so far he’d successfully avoided thinking about Ophelia at all, hoping that at some point the whole situation would just automatically resolve itself, even though deep down he knew that would never actually work. He was certain if he told anyone they’d say he needed to talk to a psychiatrist or something, but right now he didn’t want to talk it out, he just wanted to be okay.

He’d heard of trauma and stuff like that before, but had always equated it with war and extreme violence, like all the movies showed. Besides, others had been through so much worse, it felt almost selfish to want to get help when others couldn’t. 

He wondered if he might be getting better. For whatever reason, it seemed as though all he could remember was brief moments of his time in France, or what they’d said in the brief mentions of the event on the news. He could remember what the church had looked like as he was crouched by the wall, but he couldn’t remember much at all once the fire had actually started. He couldn’t really remember what Laertes had even said to him, just the basic meaning of it. Hopefully that meant he was getting better, right? Sooner or later, he’d probably be able to process it better, and be able to move on and pretend it never happened. Hamlet would probably tell him that was a bad idea. It was a good thing Hamlet didn’t know. 

Horatio rolled out of bed and rubbed his face before stumbling around on his bedside table for his glasses. One wrong placement of his hand, and they tumbled to the floor. He sighed, then clicked on the lamp and got down to look for them, as they had apparently fallen under his bed. After multiple attempts, he found that he could not reach them, as his wound was still not letting him stretch in the way that he needed to get them. He tried to turn onto his other side to get them, with the same result. He tried to get back up to find something to reach them, but the blood rushed to his head, and he ended up hitting the front of his head on the small table, and collapsing back onto the floor from the blow. He tried to blink back tears and stay quiet so as to not disturb anyone, but it didn’t work, and he rolled onto his elbow as blood dripped onto the floor. He noticed it after the room stopped spinning, and instinctively reached up to touch it, drawing his hand away and finding it covered in blood. He crawled to his feet and stumbled his way to the small bathroom attached to his room, and placed his hands on both sides on the sink to keep himself from falling again as he stared at himself in the mirror. 

Blood was slowly dripping down his forehead, and he had a straight cut across his hairline. Horatio studied his eyes first, hoping he hadn’t given himself a concussion. But before he could decide, he threw up into the sink. When he looked back up, he could definitely tell that his pupils were two different sizes. This wasn’t good. 

He wiped some of the blood off his face, washed the sink out, and stumbled across the room to the door, and then down the hall towards the kitchen, where there was an ice-dispenser. Once he made it there, he dug a plastic bag out of the cabinet and filled it with ice, then wrapped it in a towel and laid it on his head, forgetting again about the open wound, and cursing as it stinged. The room began to spin again, and he placed his back against the tall counter to steady himself. He covered his eyes and turned on a light, and then slid to a sitting position on the tiled floor, still holding the cold compress to his head. After a few moments of sitting and blinking at the bright kitchen lights, he shut his eyes, and didn’t realize he was drifting off until it was too late, and his hand fell away from his face, leaving the bloodstained towel and ice bag abandoned on the floor.

“Horatio?” Annalise’s voice floated into Horatio’s ears. “Oh my god, what happened to you?? Are you okay!?”

Horatio tried to open his eyes, but found that they seemed stuck together. He forced them open and looked around. Annalise was crouching next to him, nervously looking him up and down and trying to get him to respond. “Okay, you’re alive, thank Christ.” She said, letting out a breath and leaning back. A bag of melted water sat on the floor a foot away from him, as well as a towel with some dried blood on it.

“Jesus, Horatio, what happened? It’s eight o’clock in the morning!” Anna asked, looking him over again. “You look awful!” 

“I think I have a concussion,” Horatio croaked out, trying to figure out why his face felt so weird. 

“Really? I can take you to the clinic or something, I think it’s open by now. What the hell happened to you?”

Horatio thought for a moment, then explained what had happened a few hours before. Annalise helped him to his feet, then gave him her phone, and flipped the camera around so he’d see himself. His face had dried blood completely covering it, and the rim of his shirt was brown. His forehead had stopped bleeding, but the cut still looked terrible. “Jesus, I’m sorry you had to see that,” Horatio said, giving her phone back as she helped him down the hall to the bathroom.

“It’s okay, it was just a little terrifying to see you passed out on the floor like that first thing in the morning,” she laughed, opening the door to the communal bathroom and helping him inside. He began to wash his face off, and she went to get him a washcloth.

His eyes were shut as he was wiping his face with his hands, and he heard a quiet, “Holy shit dude,” From the doorway. He wiped his eyes and glanced over, seeing Marc there. He would’ve been red from embarrassment, if his whole face wasn’t already red. 

“Don’t ask, I’ll tell you later,” Horatio said, hoping to clean himself up in secret and not make it out to be a big deal. Cat was out of the bag now, though.

Marc nodded with wide eyes, “Yeah, alright, do you need help?”

“Annalise is coming back with a washcloth and soap.” 

“Okay, uh, good luck,” and he walked down the hallway, just as Annalise swerved around him and into the bathroom. She placed some face-washes and multiple washcloths on the counter, and smiled up at him weakly. He smiled back, still embarrassed about the state of his face.

Besties I started writing SPORfic and instead of it just being them reflecting on their current situation, it ended becoming the most horrific thing I wrote,

ah yes. the feared and the hated - notorious co-leaders of Hamlet's swarm of Crimson-infected adventurers, in their full terrifying glory

also drunk af

an illustration for "Restructured, refractured, recalled". not an illustration of a specific chapter, more like the work as a whole and the relationship between those two. in all honesty, no one, methinks, and that includes even me as an author, expected them to become bffs in the fic

a 4-part rec list of my fave drarry fics - the thrillers, dramas, soft bois, and wankbanks getting me through 2020′s shitstorm

[ for my fellow fledgling drarry stans! the drama list is here and, well. like i didn’t initially intend to go off in the mini-reviews beneath every rec but it’s just that you can't nOT yell about drarry as classic literary foils!! also it’s my dumb sideblog so i decided there are no rules and i get to be annoying about good writing.

but rly, the whole premise of the drarry pairing is shaped by this genre and if the ~serious world of serious published writers~ weren’t absolute cowards, they would admit that drama fic authors have contributed more to the genre than the average shit you can find at your local chain bookstore. so that's that on thAT. & if you love a fic here, don't forget to follow the authors, leave kudos & comments on their work, send them nice msgs bc they do all this shit for free xoxo ]

part 2: dramas

mood: for when I need emotional catharsis and maybe 7 hours to sob/brood about loneliness, the cost of love, & the perpetual fear of being truly known

includes: angst, hurt/comfort, reconciliation fics. it’s cruelty o’clock folks and someone is about to say/do something Fucked Up that they can’t take back. but don’t worry!! there will be a Reckoning feat. hamlet-worthy monologues, ugly truths, unbridled rage, trauma, insecurity, and just a fuck ton of tears!! but maybe even tender apologies and mended things.

(Un)wanted by @aibidil​ - 36k - E | Ginny's pregnant, then she's not and Harry's single. Harry, again with no family, doesn't know what to do with this turn of events, or how to find a new life—post-war, post-Ginny, post-abortion—in which he belongs. He doesn't expect that life to include dancing to the Backstreet Boys with Hermione and Draco Malfoy. A story of finding belonging in the unexpected. | --- can a fic be tender and unflinching at the same time? bc this story strikes that balance rly well and for a piece about unwantedness, it is incredibly humanizing. ginny holding her own, draco being gentle but not letting harry play victim, hermione calling harry “hazzah” and just the way this friendship insists on the validity of found families even when harry is spiraling?? and you’re forced to consider that no one has the monopoly on fucked-upness and that doesn’t absolve us of the ways we hurt each other but it means that everyone has the same potential to be better after being broken. goD JUST READ IT, OKAY.

Blood Magic, the series by @houseofhebrideanblacks and @thestralsofspinnersend 335k - E “Later that night. . .Draco wondered at the depths of magic, its breadth and scope. The ways in which life pervades and eludes death, the ways in which they endure all manners of small and large deaths within their lives.” -- if you don't read any other fic on this list, i hope you read this series bc holy shit it’s breathtaking. harry’s a recovering addict, draco’s recovering from abuse, and in a cottage within the forbidden forest begins an unlikely partnership as the boys take up the tedious work of healing. there are thestrals and everyone's in therapy. there are whole chapters of cottagecore drarry. it's a beautiful exploration of how we bare the immensity of loss against the miracles of birth and regrowth. 

Ship of Theseus by GallaPlacidia - 18k - T “A ship in a full sail, a ship in a state of decay, a ship that had been rebuilt, slightly different. A repeating cycle. “What makes the ship the same?” asked Harry. “I don’t know. There must be something in it that lasts across the changes.” -- DO YOU KNOW HOW THIS QUOTE LIVES RENT FREE IN MY SAD, SAD BRAIN. DO YOU KNOW HOW I LOSE SLEEP THINKING ABOUT THE FUCKING SHIP OF THESEUS. it’s a memory loss fic and everything is so unFAIR. you want to murder harry sometimes bc he’s such a shiT and you suffer through the ways he questions desire, penance, redemption, true love. and by the end, you want to believe in those golden slumber lyrics: “once, there was a way to get back home” 

Yours to Keep by @dracoismytrashson​ - 135k - E i love the university setting, i love getting to see harry and draco’s first forays into a real LGBTQ community, the class and race structures outside of the wizarding world. i love that this is the context in which they’re allowed to confront the shittiness of PTSD, anxiety, depression etc. as they come together and fall apart against each other’s traumas. it makes the ending feel earned af. “Baby, we’ve been easing into it for a decade.” -- my god this line

Away Childish Things by @letteredlettered​ - 153k - T  this fic is devastating. like, completely forget whatever reticence you might have towards a de-aging fic and read this. the de-aging premise allows the author to cut through the ways harry and draco hold each other at a distance and you end up with these stunning moments of clarity where they’re truly seeing each other for the first time. and suddenly everything makes sense. i won't spoil it here but there’s a scene towards the end where harry is talking to hermione and ron about realizing the first time he felt what its like to be loved and I fucking SOBBED. an all-time fave fic about learning how to belong.

Had To Be You by @lettersbyelise​​ - 59k - E a genuinely excellent slow burn about absolute fucking morons who refuse to express their mutual love over the course of literal years?? HOW MANY TENDER MEET-CUTES DO 2 GAY IDIOTS EVEN NEED. a car ride a bookshop a street corner -- when harry met sally is my enemy. but you know what? this fic is masterfully written, it’s an epic tale of unexpected friendships and the inability to say the things we feel. also its very much also a soft boi fic if not for the Major Fuck Up that pushes it into drama territory for me. so worth the turmoil tbh.

Hurricane by phrynne - 120k - E auror partners terrified of love. it’s a fic about walls - where the emotional landscape of this fic is occluded by dishonest words so you feel the tension play out in hollow voices, shuttered looks, emptied eyes. it’s like watching two ppl get flayed alive in slow motion and everything is SHIT for a little. it’s mean, it’s ugly, it doesn’t let you give the characters an out when they’re being cruel - to each other and to themselves. but harry and draco are two violent forces hurling toward each other’s walls and the inevitable reckoning comes and it’s so very worth the ending. the hospital bed scene to rule all hospital bed scenes.

Returning Tides by @zigster-ao3​ - E  “Is my timing that flawed? Our respect run so dry? Yet there's still this appeal That we've kept through our lives” --those fuCKing ian curtis lyrics in the summary!! p a i n. why do i put myself through getting-back-together fics knowing full well i’m gonna be Sad As Hell during the not-together portion of the story?? we are all unfortunately hoes for heartache. anyway this fic is beautiful. draco’s a dad and recently widowed, harry has a thestral reserve, the settings here are stunning. a story about grief and love that lingers.

A Piercing Comfort by @talithan - 44k - T “There is no objective scorecard. There isn’t anything that a person does that tips the balance from ‘deserving’ to ‘undeserving’, or vice versa. A ‘deserving’ person will not run out of worthiness after a set time of happiness and have to then go about working to deserve it again. And an ‘undeserving’ person does not have to suffer at length before having the opportunity to be ‘deserving’.” -- the heart of this fic. harry’s in therapy, facing depression, and learning how to accept love he doesn’t think he deserves. (also draco is harry’s therapist but yes, that power dynamic is handled ethically-well imo and addressed in the author notes I promise!!).

Borrowing Courage by @xx-thedarklord-xx​ - 70k - E |After years of being a Magical Artist and painting for other people, Draco decides it’s time to paint for himself for once. The secrets pile up as he tries to unravel the mystery of his relatives but the only thing he didn’t count on was having to go to Potter of all people for approval.| --god i love this fic. the thing about drarry here is that they never mean to hurt each other but they do. they do and draco’s trying to do the right thing and he wants so badly for good family but harry’s never rly stopped grieving sirius and it’s this whole unintended mess of festering wounds forced to heal. everyone needs a hug. also ron/blaise pairing and ron+draco’s friendship here is everything!!

Reparations and the sequel, Foundations by Saras_Girl - 320k - E | Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.| -- incredible. harry and draco’s dynamic as healers, the cast of original characters, the boys learning what it means to trust each other, draco building a rehabilitation center, harry falling in love with him, and “meus fabula est mei ut dico: my story is mine to tell.”  i cry

The Ties that Bind by phoenix_writing (not on ao3) - 61k - T | Upon Andromeda’s death, Harry and Draco are given custody of Teddy. Their lives will never be the same.| -- harry’s got major abandonment issues and he’s just trying to be a good co-parent with draco but everyone is being the woRST and you want to murder them on behalf of harry. but then, the boys learn to listen to each other and god it all becomes so tender. also harry has a gay panic. things are awful but it all works out. -

[part 1: thrillers | part 2: dramas | part 3: soft bois | part 4: wankbanks]

Fan Fiction Year in Review 2021

I did one of these last year and thought it was interesting to look back over what I had written and think about what I may write going forward. This retrospective list of questions is from @captain-aralias.

If you're a writer, I'd also encourage you to do this. Tag me so I can see your thoughts 🥰

List of Complete Fics for 2021

1. Lotus-Eaters and Sirens - G, 557 words

2. It's a Kind of Magic - M, 15,806

3. The Thrill of the Hunt - M, 11,230

4. Chamber by Chamber - E, 19,043

5. The Hex Files comic - G, 183 (It has a storyline and words that I wrote so I am counting it)

List of In Progress Fics Started in 2021

(because I have a LOT of words 😤)

1. Sleeping with the Fishes (co-written with @the-greater-grief) - M, 7,786 by end of 2021

2. Slings and Eros - M, 52,882 by end of 2021 (This fic alone makes up half my total year’s word count!)

I also wrote a bunch of non-fic things, mostly about AWTWB, that I hadn't expected because I wasn't used to getting asks like I did last year. I'm going to include them, too, because time spent writing is time spent writing.

1. Baggage - regarding Simon's literal and figurative baggage in WS, 480

2. AWTWB and Chosen Ones - thoughts about Simon's arc, Smith Smith-Richards, the Mage, and Chosen Ones, 686

3. The Watford Goats and the World of Mages - working out my ideas about the the goats in AWTWB and Agatha's journey, 314

4. The rest are all tumblr asks linked on my blog at the bottom of my Masterlist 19,147

Total:

4 complete fics, 1 comic, 2 in progress fics, 3 meta, 9 asks

word count: 128,114

word count for fics: 107,487

Thoughts: In my review post last year, I noted that all of the fics (4) I had completed were for events, and I predicted it would be the same for 2021. In fact, it was not! I figured out pretty quickly that I have a problem with over committing when it comes to fandom events and forced myself to scale back. I did participate in some events, but most of the content I made for those was art.

Best/Worst Title?

Best: Slings and Eros

I love this title, even though I have this fear that it won't make sense without my long explanation. Which I'm giving. I just feel like this title does so much. I even made a whole other post about it once. It's a play on words from a Hamlet soliloquy, which feels meta in itself since Shakespeare has to have quite a hold over the World of Mages (even though this isn't a magickal fic). Beyond the source, though, is the context, which is Hamlet trying to decide if he should end his own life and framing that life as enduring a series of trials ("the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune"). I liked this quote particularly for my fic, because it's a Greek Mythology AU, and Greek myths frequently feature stories of a hero enduring a series of labors in order to achieve some overarching goal. This is true for the myth that directly inspired this fic, Eros (or Cupid) and Psyche, and also true for my fic. It's also a big feature of the classic Hero's Journey, which of course, ties back perfectly to the idea of the Chosen One. I also liked the fact that I was removing the word "arrows" from the quote, just as I removed Eros/Cupid's arrows from the story and replaced them with a sword, which felt far more appropriate for Simon. And instead, I could use "Eros" which very conveniently sounds almost exactly like "arrows" and also hints to the source material, Simon's characterization, and one of the major themes of the fic.

I also really like Lotus-Eaters and Sirens and Chamber by Chamber.

Worst: Sleeping with the Fishes

I stand by this title, and I think it makes sense once you've read past the first 1 or 2 chapters, but without any context, it probably sounds like a Mafia AU, when it's actually a tennis and texting AU. I like it, but I feel like it was probably not a great choice in the grand scheme of things. I just saw an opportunity for puns and went for it.

Best/Worst Summary?

Best: Chamber by Chamber

"I'd give him all that I am.

I'd give him all that I was.

I'd open up a vein.

…

I'd tie our hearts together, chamber by chamber.

Simon and Baz have been through a lot. They've also been hard at work on communicating their needs and feelings. Here's some (therapeutic) smut."

This maybe is unexpected because it's a book quote followed by "here's some smut" and there's no actual plot to summarize. But the "chamber by chamber" quote is what inspired the series that culminates in this PWP one shot, and it's smut, so...it really does tell you all you need to know.

Worst: Lotus-Eaters and Sirens

"Simon has some thoughts about sirens while watching Baz drive away from their eventful trip to the Omaha Renaissance Faire.

(This is when Simon is being cute and happy on battle adrenaline and car snogging, and reality is trying to creep back in.)"

I just reread this summary for the first time since I posted it probably and it's so clunky. I don't even know why I have the second part there. I am contemplating how much it would matter this late in the game if I rewrote it, or at least deleted the second part.

Best/Worst First Line?

Best: Chamber by Chamber "Baz is squirming beneath me. It's good. It's hot. It's perfect." Yup. It sets the scene, it sets the mood, it also helps to set up some dom/sub dynamics they're playing with in this fic, too. Also I wanted it to be reminiscent of the night spent kissing at Pitch manor. (Simon on all fours above Baz.)

Worst: It's a Kind of Magic "I can tell it's happening almost before it does. I've had lots of time to learn. I know the signs better than he does, now." I think this opener is weakest among all of last year's fics because it takes its sweet time to get to the point. I don't think I define the "it" in that first sentence for several (admittedly short) paragraphs, and even then, I think I imply, rather than state, that the "it" is Simon slipping into a depressive spiral.

Best/Worst Last Line?

Best: This one is going to be a tie between Chamber by Chamber (the fic not the series) and Lotus-Eaters. Despite them both being one shots with no plot, I really think both of them pack a wallop in their final lines and I am incredibly proud of them! I'm not going to include the last line of Chamby because, plot or not, it actually is a spoiler. For LEAS, I feel like it's safe, though, so I'll drop that one here. "And then…Well. Then I drown." What really makes this line punch for me is that it's a Simon POV taking a Baz line from canon and reversing it from "burn" to "drown", fitting in perfectly with the siren/water imagery Simon uses for Baz in the fic. (Also, points to me for using water imagery for Baz before AWTWB!) It also goes a little further in that the fic is sort of in conversation with the part of CO where Simon compares Baz to a siren (the kind on police cars) and turns that on its head, by having him revise his comparison to the other kind of siren (the singing, ship-wrecking kind). That part in CO runs parallel to Baz's part comparing Simon to an open fire, which is, of course, where the original quote "and then you burn" comes from.

Honorable mention to the Hex Files comic because I intentionally set up Penny's final line to sound like a spell, in order to make it ambiguous about whether she was actually casting on Shepard in the last panel.

Worst: Looking back, I really like all of my last lines. I felt incredibly good about every one of them when I figured out how I was closing out each of these fics and I don't think any of them need improving. So, for this I will say, the worst lines are the ones that don't exist yet because the fics aren't finished and I am a completist.

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, fewer than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I think I wrote fewer fics than expected (even though I did not place expectations on myself) but more words overall, so I guess I'm about equal. 2020 was obviously a very unpredictable year, so not really a great barometer of actual productivity. I was back working full time in person by the start of 2021, and then the day after Baz's birthday, I had surgery which kept me laid up for the better part of 6 months. Of course, I thought I'd be a lot more productive writing wise during that time, but I didn't really account for how tiring it is to regrow bones so...I spent more of that time on art. Plus, we got AWTWB?! After that, my brain melted and then I was going back to work with a COTTA deadline looming.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

I wouldn't say "never predicted", especially because I was already planning it in 2020, but I wrote my first smut! And it ended up being one of my favorite things I've written so far. It was something I hadn't planned on doing, because smut felt intimidating and way out of my depth. But then I was rereading WS, as you do, and the chamber by chamber scene always sticks with me, especially Simon talking about "all that I am...all that I was..." and how those two ideas of his self-identity and self-worth really weigh on him and his relationship with Baz and what it would look like if he really could give all of that to Baz. And then I spiraled about trauma and liminal spaces and monster parts (my love). And I realized I was going to have to write a smut fic if I was ever going to know peace.

What's your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest?

Torn between two lovers... Chamber by Chamber (if it's not obvious by now given how I haven't shut up about it) and Slings and Eros. Both of these fics were/are incredibly challenging to me as a writer--Chamby for the smut but also what I think was an ambitious agenda about dealing with trauma throughout the three part series--and Slings and Eros for being a plot-heavy (for me) epic complete with epic poetry that is very likely going to break 100k. Both of them have been exercises in patience in their own ways, and labors of love that I have enjoyed even when I haven't.

Okay, NOW your most popular story?

Going by kudos and bookmarks, it's Chamby

(To the Manor Borne is still my most kudosed and A Man of Letters is still my most bookmarked overall)

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

I would have liked to see more love for my Penny/Shep comic but it's not Snowbaz and it's the very first comic I did, so maybe that's to be expected. Actual fic-wise, I'm kind of surprised that The Thrill of the Hunt underperforms its Chamber by Chamber colleagues because this fandom seems rabid for vampirism and that's what it's all about. But maybe people read the first one and get impatient for the smut and skip to the last part? I would like to see more engagement on Slings and Eros because it's my current project and I'm excited about it, but it's a beast and I get that a lot of people don't want to read WIPs, especially longer ones.

Story that could have been better?

I didn't answer this last year, and I'm not going to answer it this year, either. I just don't think it's worthwhile for me to hash over what ifs in my fan fic. If I think something can be better, I keep working on it until it is better. Otherwise, it won't see the light of day.

Sexiest story?

The one with the sex in it. 😉

Saddest story?

I think this is LEAS. There is soft and sweet to balance out the sad, but it's not really ever happy. Simon is riding a high from the Ren Faire as he contemplates how much he is just head over heels for Baz, but the undercurrent to all of that is how much he feels like he isn't good or good enough for Baz. He loves him but he can't give him what he deserves; he wants him but he's going to drag him down. It's a lovely meditation full of devotion, but that devotion is telling Simon that he isn't worthy and that's sad, even if he closes the fic reaffirming how hopelessly in love he is with Baz.

Most fun?

When I first went to answer this, I thought it meant most fun to write, but there’s another question about that further down. So then this means the story that is the most fun. And I have no idea how to answer that 😆. Probably Sleeping with the Fishes. Texting is usually a fairly good time. Anyway. I’m still keeping my original answer since the other question is combined with easiest to write, which is different from my answer here. So starting it felt like pulling teeth, partly because it required a lot of research and reading and outlining, and then I got the completely inadvisable idea to write epic poetry, and then had to slog through several chapters to get Simon and Baz into the same place...but SAE has been the most entertaining for me, I think, because of the character dynamics. Getting to write the first Penny, Agatha, and Fiona POVs was so freaking fun. Also, the boys are absolute disasters and I love to watch them just completely lose their minds over each other in every scene. And knowing where it's all going is just SO GOOD and I can't wait for the payoff!

Story with the single sweetest moment?

I think it's SAE, but I don't really want to tell what the moment is because I don't want to spoil it? There's a thing at the beginning, about Baz leaving offerings in Simon's shrine. And at one point, when Baz is having a really hard time, Simon does this really adorable and heartfelt thing that echoes the offerings Baz leaves, as a way to try to let Baz know that he isn't alone. And it just...is a very Simon thing to do and I love it. (Chapter 7 for those curious.)

Hardest story to write?

It's a Kind of Magic needed so many rewrites. I had written The Thrill of the Hunt and didn't realize until I went to write Simon's story in the series that his had to go first, and Baz's second. So then I had to sort out how I wanted to write part 1 when I already had part 2, and what parallels I was going for, and what the ultimate goals were in each part, etc. I think I had a much clearer idea in my head for what I was trying to accomplish with the Baz part than I did with the Simon one. I had a sense of what I was trying to get at, but I think I wasn't sure how to get there, or maybe even where "there" was. I started and re-started it so many times and just chipped away at it for a solid two months fruitlessly before I think things finally started to make sense in my head. Then I had story pieces and had to decide how they fit together and what order they went in. Then Baz started to lead me in a new direction I wasn't really prepared to go. Ultimately, it all feels very smooth and satisfying, but it was such a struggle the entire time. I had been most worried about writing Chamby and I sat down, wrote a full outline in one day, and just went point by point until I had 19k. It was wild. All the hard stuff had already happened I guess.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

I kind of already answered this. I think it was Chamby. There were some lines in there that had me howling when I wrote them. (Baz compares the tightening in his bollocks to the event horizon of a black hole.) There’s a line about them not holding back with each other, and I feel like I was doing the same—just letting them go and do their thing. It was also incredibly moving for being unapologetic monsterfucking PWP, but for the most part, I just had such a great time with it.

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

I think SAE has gotten me to think the most about the characters, in so far as it is an AU, and I'm spending a lot of time exploring the ways in which canon and the source myth converge and diverge and how that informs the characters and their dynamics. I don't think it's shifted my overall perception of the canon characters, but the ones in my fic, yes.

Most overdue story?

Same answer as last year, so we're moving on...(I get random bursts of creative energy and then they dissipate before I can capitalize) (but I will persist)

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I wrote smut, and I co-wrote a fic, and I started a fic off with poetry in a form I'd never written before, and I made a comic, and I started a super long fic with a fully developed "external" plot. I think what I learned is to take risks.

This year's theme and the story that demonstrates it?

Liminal spaces! I haven't screamed about them for a while, but that was really the driving force behind so much of my writing this past year. Chamber by Chamber is the obvious one, but also SAE, probably just one of many reasons those two are my favs.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Write what feels good when it feels good. But also venture out of my comfort zone once in a while. Since this is next year already, my immediate goal is just to keep working on my posted WIPs, but also to let myself think about/work on other things, too, because I feel like I need that reminder.

Benedict Cumberbatch Fluff

You’ll find all of my Ben C Fluff here

“Lost In A Daydream” Benedict finds out you (his assistant) writes about him and your secret feelings. Figuring there is no chance he’d ever have feelings for you, you opted to stay quiet. Will he figure it out?

“Some Guidance” Benedict knows what's best for you while you are stressing over exams. “A Dance” Benedict is in a cheerful mood tonight after work that he decides to have a dance. “The Straw That Broke The Camel’s Back” After a crappy week, this day is the last straw…thank god for Benedict. “Happy Birthday Ocean" A wonderful Birthday from Benedict. “The Cramps” Ben is a lot better at taking care of you than Sherlock is. “Mum, Dad, Meet My Fiancée” Ben gets the chance to introduce you to his parents for the first time. “It’s Okay to Cry" After the lost of your mother Ben tries to comfort you. “A Magical Day with Benedict" Being the wife a celebrity isn’t that bad, especially when you can have a private tour of Disneyland! “The Camping Trip" After a few scary stories around the campfire you have a hard time getting to sleep. “Who Are You?“ A journey from not remembering anything to finally remembering enough. “An Emergency” You are very scared when you are hit with a massive pain. Ben reassures you that you will be okay and he will be right with you. “The News" Some bad news at the doctor has you very upset, Ben comforts you the best way he knows how. "I’m Just Trying to Protect You” Ben is being very protective of you and it gets a bit old. “Maybe…Perhaps…” Ben has a hard time confessing his feelings for a coworker. “Dinner?” A AU Ben fic where he asks his coworker Lucy Lui out on a date. “The Workout” Upset with your weight you start training a bit to much and end up in trouble. “Maybe I Need Help” A follow-up to “The Workout”  You’re struggling with your self image and Ben finds out about your dangerous ways to lose weight. “My Story” After heart surgery your are insecure of your scar and Ben comforts you. “My Love, My Heart” After surgery Benedict remains at your bedside until you wake up. “A Lesson in French" Juliette speaks with a heavy French accent, she doesn’t like it but Benedict loves it. "Sometimes, All You Need Is A Hug" After a stressful few days of work and caring for the family things come to a crashing halt and Benedict is left to pick up the pieces. "Homesick” After moving to London on a whim several months ago you start to become homesick so your wonderful boyfriend Ben arranges a surprise for you. “Lonely Nights" After a romantic weekend in Paris Ben returns home but has to leave again for work. Lonely Nights part 2”A follow-up to Lonely Nights. "The Heavens Opened” This fic adds some back story to a fic Cumberbanon wrote for me. You are caught up in a rain storm without an umbrella, thankfully Benedict is walking your way and notices and offers to share his umbrella and takes you back to his flat for some tea. “Ben! I’m Pregnant!" A journey from conception to birth. "I’m Not Jealous” Ben has work to do at home but instead he attends your office party with you, when you run into an old co-worker Ben gets a little jealous “Every Day, Every Hour…” It is date night again for you and Benedict, he proclaims his love for you over a romantic dinner. “Poor Benedict” Ben is really sick and stuck in bed, it is up to you to make him feel better. “The Sultry Villain” You land a guest star spot on Sherlock along side your boyfriend Benedict. “Is This The End?” Facing a difficult breakup you and Ben get into a heated argument. (this one has a happy ending) “The Surprise” Ben has been away for five weeks now, four weeks to long for you. “A Spring Day” Ben has a surprise for you on this beautiful spring day in London “The Morning After” A fluffy follow-up to the smutty “Lesson Learned?” “The Café in Copenhagen” Ben meets and falls in love with a Danish Girl. A fluff for benedictcumberbatchsdanishwife “The Motorbike” You hate when Benedict rides his motorbike around the busy streets of London. “Does He Remember Me?” Ben falls for one of his Australian fans “A Misunderstanding” Ben is interested in you and you are him but thanks to miss messages things turn sour but all ends well.(smutish…no actual act) “Awkward Fangirl at Oz Comic Con” A revamp of “Does He Remember Me?” “The Starry Night” A little surprise for Ben on your anniversary. “The Quiz Night” After a chat with another man at the bar during a quiz night Ben becomes very jealous. “My New London Life” You enlist your old friend Benedict’s help in finding a flat in London. “The Cabin” A strong snowstorm catches a hiker off guard, lucky for them you’re spending a few weeks in a small remote cabin in the mountains. “You Are the Worst Patient!” A fluffy about you taking care of Benedict as his friend, nothing more. Yet. “The Restless Night” You have a hard time getting to sleep, thankfully Ben can help with that. “Old Flames” Running into Ben at a party lights old flames inside of you. “The Nurse and Her Patient” Ben’s in the hospital and under your care as his nurse. Who know what will happen. “A Magical London Day” Ben leads you around London on a scavenger hunt with a little help from his family and friends. “The Audition” You are a great actor, but when you come face to face with Benedict at an audition you flub up! “You Make Me Feel Safe” Just some awesome fluffy Benedict that holds you and makes you feel happy after a long day. “Ben, the Worry Wart” You’ve gotten one of the lead rolls in an upcoming movie with Benedict, while you are off for a month you head back to New York to continue your studies but Ben is persistent on keeping fans from bothering you. “Secret Places” You’ve started a flame between you and Ben on a recent trip to London, now that you’re home a flirty text-a-thon ensues. “Benedict The Hulk” Ben had a rough day and when he gets home an argument gets a little heated. “Ladies?” You and Ben’s ex have a run in at a celebrity event. “The Farmers Market” Your niece gets lost at the farmers market, thankfully a nice British gentleman finds her and reunites you both. “Mummy Doesn’t Always Know Best” Ben’s mother isn’t so keen on you at first, how will things turn out. “Get Motivated” You are having a particular rough day, Ben helps motivate you to accomplish your goals. “Let it Be” A cute fluff about Ben asking your parents for your hand in marriage “I Promise” You wake up in a hospital bed with Benedict Cumberbatch sitting beside you and holding your hand, but why?!? “Fight or Flee” You and Ben have been great friends but what has he been hiding and how will it come out? “Stop Ignoring Me” Working very hard on the set of Sherlock keeps you busy and unable to chat with Ben, he keeps after you but you keep working. Turns into a little game of hard to get. “The Surry Farm” A farm out in Surry shared with Ben. “Sorry That Was Corny” A handsome man approaches you at a local pub and begins to flirt “A Needed Break” Ben has be really working hard lately so while in NY you treat him to a nice getaway. “Dopy Benedict” Ben goes under the knife and the medicines make him a little goofy when he wakes up. “The Competition” Two hot actors vying for your attention? Sounds perfect! “The Wedding Song” While celebrating Benedict’s parents anniversary Ben takes you for a spin to his parents wedding song. “The Tree” Ben is leaving for a very long time. “Grocery Shopping” A sweet little fic. Ben and you go food shopping together and fun ensues “Breakdown” A really stressful week leads to a huge meltdown in front of Benedict “Time For A Baby?” As you babysit your nieces you and Ben have such a wonderful time that you two begin to think it may be time for your own child. “It’s All Very Funny” You are cooking dinner for Ben’s parents as they are coming over to meet you for the first time. You head upstairs to take a shower while Ben waits for them…embarrassing moments ensue. “They Aren’t True Fans” After coming out publicly  as a couple, you get egged on your way home from work. “The Misquote” Ben slips some things during an interview that could lead the public to believe your marriage is on the rocks. “The Puppy” After rescuing a box of two puppies you try to help them and then convince Ben to keep them. “To Church” Ben and you head off to church. “The Return of Napkinbatch” Ben loves making you laugh. “The Press” Ben does a little press conference about Hamlet but somehow it gets turned into a meeting about your relationship together. “The Letter” You come across a letter from Ben to his pen pal Greg and you try to sneak a peek. “Parent Teacher Meets” Its the night of the first parent teacher meets and one of your students has a very special guest along. “The Undercover Star” Benedict is on a hidden camera reality show and you happen to be his target. “The Lights Went Out.” You’re afraid of storms and to make matters worse when a particularly strong one comes up and knocks the power out, you’re also afraid of the dark. “Love Knows No Age” Age is not a matter for two people truly in love. “Benedict and the Stars” Ben is a romantic, with you having a PhD in Astronomy Ben has the stars to woo you. “A Babybatch in the Oven” It’s time to share the big news with Ben’s parents! “The First Kiss” Wonderful evening leads to a wonderful goodbye. “We’re Going to be Alright” Going through some difficult depression episodes I was sent this prompt and I decided to use it as a therapy for myself. “The Unexpected Miracle” You and Ben learn that due to some health problems you aren’t able to conceive. “My Heart Is On Fire For You” Ben finds a sweet way to propose to you. “Face to Face” This is for my dear friend “Sister” Emily. Ben sets up a meeting for her and I to finally meet in person! “We Miss You” Ben is stuck in L.A. filming for months, he misses you and your little girl so much and you miss him also so in a last minute decision you take Jenna and pack up to head for L.A. for a impromptu visit. “Benedict’s Bad Day” Ben has a rough day at work, it’s up to you to make him feel better. “The Corinthia Ball” A charity ball is occurring at the Corinthia Hotel in the heart of London tonight and Ben has something special planned for later. “The Nomination” - A little way to celebrate Benedict’s and the Sherlock team’s Emmy nominations. “Benedict Cumberbatch in ‘The Emmy Winner’” Ben and you watch the Emmy’s from home and celebrate when he’s announced the winner. “The Gala and Napkinbatch” You and Ben have fun in New York “Missing You” Ben is finally arriving home after a trip to Toronto. “Sunday Mornings" No one likes to wake up on a Sunday morning but this one isn’t so bad for Ben and you. "Always Beautiful to Me” Having a fat day, Ben cheers you up. “A Fire Inside” Letting off a little steam in a bar you meet a dashing man. “Hands” “Shh Sleep” “Celebrate Tonight” “The Return of Napkinbatch” “I Have To Tell You Something” “Sunday Mornings” “Something Better” After hearing your celebrity crush (Chris Evans) had been spotted with a girl in L.A. you had an unexpected meeting Ben for the first time.

Fluff/Smut

“One More Chance" Makeup sex is the best… "Ben! I’m Pregnant!" A journey from conception to birth. "My Plans” Celebrating a wonderful anniversary with Benedict over dinner but dinner isn’t the only plans he has for you. “The Interview” Ben says some really lovely things at an interview and when he gets home and you ask him about it, a simple kiss gets heated. “The Rose” You attend the Hay Festival with Benedict and try to wake him up after a very tiring day.