Healing with Kindness and Forgiveness

I'm going to make a sweeping statement and say that not one person on this planet has been able to avoid the healing process for some form of emotional or psychological pain…. Myself included.

After several attempts of trying to get life right and learning to heal following painful situations, I am going to make another sweeping statement and say that I have cracked the code of healing.

My code to healing consists of KINDNESS… (the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate) and FORGIVENESS (the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven). These concepts are then applied as follows:

Be kind and forgive yourself.

Be kind and forgive the person or thing that caused you pain.

Be kind to those around you.

So let me explain:

Be Kind and Forgive Yourself

It’s so easy to fall into the mindset of “I should have seen this coming” or “The signs were there and I should have done something sooner”. Hindsight (understanding of a situation or event only after it has happened or developed) is a wonderful thing however, as per the definition, is only available AFTER the fact. During the time leading up to the pain, you were acting with best intentions. You wanted to love the person with all the red flags. You wanted to be good to someone even if they weren't good to you. You stuck around to see if things would change. You tried your best to make it work. Notice how all the things you tried to do are positive things?

An old saying that sticks with me is that “I have never been hurt by an enemy”. It is a fair and reasonable statement to say that the person who hurt you, was someone you CARED for. I'm sure you wouldn't be hurt if you were expecting them to act in malice or didn’t care for them anyway.

Whatever pain you have experienced will require healing and when you have been wounded, you need to take a step back and forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not acting sooner, after all, you wanted to see if there was good in the person/situation. You did not act in malice and you loved the person so much that you trusted them not to hurt you. While you are forgiving yourself, be kind to yourself. Do the things that fill your heart cup. Take time off work to rest and sleep if you need it. Speak to those around you so you can set an expectation of them not expecting more from you. Do things that will release endorphins such as running, laughing (even if you don't feel like it)... even having sex will do the trick!! Aside from healing your heart and soul, on a scientific level, releasing endorphins acts as a painkiller and WILL boost your mood. Do the things that are good for your soul while accepting what has happened and forgiving yourself for what you believe were your shortcomings.

Be Kind to the Person or Thing that Hurt You

Now this one seems counterintuitive I know. The common narrative is often “They hurt me, I want to hurt them”. If we allow this narrative to win though, there can be some awful consequences. Revenge might seem sweet, but it's a dish best served cold and will not keep you warm at night.

Now don't get me wrong, I’m not asking you to forgive the person for them…. Chances are (especially if you're dealing with a narcissist) they don't even think they did anything wrong. I’m asking you to forgive them for you. After all this is your healing journey.

I heard a saying that “holding onto hate (or any negative emotion for someone) is like drinking the poison and expecting them to die”. Holding toxic emotions, hatred, resentment, distaste… is holding that toxicity within you. Again, they might not even think they did anything wrong so they don't care that you feel that way, so why keep allowing yourself to feel that way. You have just been hurt, you have an open wound you are trying to heal from and by holding onto toxic emotions, you are only adding salt to that wound and preventing it from healing.

Even Jesus said at his crucifixion “forgive them Father for they know not what they do”. To hate is human, to forgive is divine… start being divine and work towards removing toxicity from your wound. Show them the kindness of being forgiven even if they don't think they deserve it. No need to go out of your way for them, but don't show animosity, that shit is toxic. Show them the kindness of not reacting to their actions, not because they deserve it, but because you are a better person than to hold on to the pain that they inflicted.

Show Kindness to Those Around You

I’m going to just come out and say it… people are WEIRD! We want to show charity, we want to help others but when someone tries to show it back, we don't accept it. You expect others to accept your charity but you won't accept the charity being given to you…. Think about that concept for a minute.

When people say things like “you don't have to go through things alone”, stop taking it as lip service. Stop trying to be a hero and get through your pain on your own. When you break your leg, you go and see a doctor. When you cut yourself and you cant put on a band aid, you ask someone to help you. Why are unseen wounds treated differently?

This actually works well for the other person who you presumably care about since they are offering up their time and energy for you. When someone offers assistance, they are doing this out of kindness to you. Why not show them the kindness of validation and ALLOW them to help you.

Humans are pack animals. We operate as a community. We raise each other's children and support each other in education, medicine and so many other ways. Why do we push back on our “pack” when we are emotionally or psychologically in need?

If someone offers you their presence, try and take it. Let them come over with a pot of tea or to sit in your space if you feel comfortable to do so.

If someone offers you their time and a listening ear, take it to get things off your mind.

If someone offers you sound advice, try and consider it.

A person in need of first aid is never going to say “no thank you, I will stitch myself up” so why do we as humans knock back someone wanting to help with our emotional or psychological wounds? Lets change this narrative too, even if you don't feel like it at the time. Let's change it from “I don't want to be a burden” to “I need this person's help to heal”. Set your boundaries as to what you are comfortable in discussing/doing but allow someone who has offered you the charity of kindness to make good on their offer.

So there you have it, 36 years of challenges, adversity, pain, wounds and scars summarised into 3 points that create a strong foundation for healing our pain. Are they easy to adopt, God no! We have to unlearn a bunch of things to be able to enact some of these principles. Do they work when they are adopted, in my opinion, absolutely. This is my method to healing, tried and tested by myself. I sincerely hope that they work for you too.

Home sweet home of my future.

Where the light touches, where the water dries, the boundaries and rules are all shifting a bit in the winds of change. Virgo is upon us and perception falls wayside to perfection so that the details can weave our future fabric for flag waving. We pay attention to the moving lines and territorial spaces we can create, grow, and thrive... And where we cannot. We see them tandem against each other and usually side by side, though worlds apart. So close, and yet so far. You see it, don't you? Where are YOU headed? #witchesofinstagram #mentalhealth #virgo #GypsyMagic #grief #minnesota #voodoo #völva #artist #artistsoninstagram #history #ancestors #divination #witch #nature #beach #lakelife #growth #photography #see #landscape #gonorth #astrology #witchery (at Pirates Cove Adventure Golf) https://www.instagram.com/p/B1ox-nvlFdE/?igshid=162y7guf87e4v

#repost @lady_of_thelake 🧜🏻‍♀️💃🏻🧝🏼‍♀️🧙🏻‍♀️✨ #tribe #mermaid #gypsy #hippie #elf #witch #viking #wildchild #mermaidvibes #gypsywitch #gypsyvibes #hippievibes #elfdoll #vikingwitch #witchesofinstagram #vikingsofinstagram #gypsiesofinstagram #tropical #tropicalvibes #elven #elvenwarrior #gypsysoul #gypsymagic #witchywoman #moongoddess

Not that long ago I purchased a tarot book that finally gave me the confidence to start making my own spreads and WALLA! My first ever spread! I got the inspiration from a few other’s that I have seen wandering around, but I really wanted one that was more unique to my own situation. I would also love to hear feedback, so please let me know how it worked for you! :)

Sometimes I wake up or just go about my day and suddenly an anxiety attack comes on, but I have no clue what action may have caused it. This spread helps me go through the steps of revealing what happened and how to get prevent it from happening in the future. Or at least recognizing it in the first place and be able to take the steps towards improvement. Feel free to twist up the question to your liking or expand it further. 

My Anxiety Spread - also good for ptsd & depression

How am I dealing with the situation?

What triggered the anxiety?

Why do I feel stuck/trapped?

What am I not facing/seeing?

How do I work through it?

please do not remove caption.

"My House" - #photographer @christophermoeller A #legendary #photoshoot The #salamander of #detroit Brenticus Pan DerSalaman #legend #firemagic #fireperformer #firebender #firebreather #dontdothisathome #performanceart #performingarts #art #lovemyjob #gypsymagic #gypsy #sideshow #freakshow #circusarts #circus #circuslife #flow #tophat #dapper #momdontlook #toomanyhashtags #nofilter (at Detroit, Michigan)

#Repost @cholas.daughter • • • • • • I spent this week channeling and receiving so many downloads from the spirit of the Gypsy, that I am officially remixing today as ❤Gypsy Heart Day❤ The messages ranged from super sweet, to dark and dreary. It was a mezcla (one of my favorite words in Spanish.. so sexy) mixture (in English) of emotions, that people are feeling at this time but especially surrounding Valentines Day. The main messages received were simple and clear. "Love yourself first". "We attract what we are so be the love that you want to receive" and "What you think is what you manifest good or bad". It sounds simple, yet it takes practice, determination and tons of self-control; to master manifesting positive results in our lives. So.. the message for my couples; is to share your love and energy of attraction, chemistry, sweetness, harmony and sensuality with your person (Eros). The energy of your union, will radiate and send the energy of amorous love, into the world. To my singles. Fall in love with YOU today (Philautia). Do something special for yourself, whether it's a day of beauty (hair done nails done everything..done done). A trip to the spa or if funds are tight, a luxurious candlelit bubble bath. You are worth it!! Surround yourself with family or friends that bring out love and joy in you (Philia). As you can see, there are so many types of love, that we can experience at any given moment. All of them, equally important. However, you choose to spend your day, set your intentions to be L.O.V.E. & L.I.G.H.T. 💖Happy Gypsy Heart Day💖 Artist: Pilar Vera #spiritguides#gypsy#gypsymagic#santeros#santeras#santero#misas#gitana#magia#luzyprogresso#gypsygoddessqueen#gypsyvibes#gypsyspirit#espiritas#lukumi#africanspirituality#oshun#hijadeoshun#ochun#oshun#yemaya#obatala#chango##santerosdemundo#santeros#santera#santero https://www.instagram.com/p/B8kDt4eF_6b/?igshid=1qydvbgjbjohj

🔮✨🕯Daily reading for Saturday July 13th 2019. This reading is meant for everyone who sees this post.

✨Eight of Pentacles✨

-Apprenticeship, repetitive tasks, mastery, skill development.

The Eight of Pentacles is a card of apprenticeship and mastery. When this card appears in a Tarot reading, you are working hard to improve your skills and become a master at what you do. You may have recently changed your work, education or financial circumstances, and now you are applying your sheer determination and concentration to master the new skill that you are learning. You are diligent and hard-working and you are applying yourself fully to whatever is at the centre of your attention. As you do the same task over and over, you work your way towards mastery of your craft, and through your perseverance and unwavering attention, you create success.

The Eight of Pentacles may indicate further education or study in order to hone your skills. You may already be proficient in a particular skill set, but you are now seeking to master those skills. For example, you may be a great home cook, but now you are starting to focus your attention on fine French cuisine. Or perhaps you have learnt the basics of Tarot reading, but now you want to become a Tarot expert! You know that it will require a lot of focus and dedication in your studies, but you are willing to work hard and to pay attention to the details. You know that you will not learn these advanced skills overnight, but you are prepared for the journey towards becoming a master at your chosen expertise.

More broadly, the Eight of Pentacles suggests you are working away at the finer details of the various aspects of your life, in an effort to continuously improve your situation. You may be unhappy with your current state, and you know you need to make some important changes in your life to increase your overall satisfaction. This card is a positive sign that you are committed to making those changes and to ensuring that you give yourself the best possible chance. Overall, this is a very hard-working and conscientious energy that is present in your life.

The Eight of Pentacles is encouragement to keep doing what you are doing as it will eventually lead to success. Yes, it requires a lot of dedication, focus and patience but as each day passes and as you stay true to your values and beliefs, you get a little closer to your goal. It may not be as apparent as you may like but events are unfolding that will lead you to the right path. Continue working on yourself, too, and making ongoing improvements and adjustments to ensure that you are the best person you can be.

If you encounter this card in a reading and are not currently engaged in the active pursuit of your goals, ask yourself what you could learn or create to better yourself or your circumstances. If you are already engaged in the pursuit of new learning, the Eight of Pentacles may be a card of encouragement and reassurance that the energy you invest in your development will be worth your while.

💌🗝 If you would like a more in depth message about your personal situation, please visit my website www.MoonLightMiracle.com and click on the "Tarot Readings" tab in the menu bar. Or you can write to me directly at [email protected]

📲 Please follow me on social media

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• Healing Crystal Shop www.SushiFloat.etsy.com

source -Biddy Tarot

Blood Moon! #loveandlight #blessedfullmoon #fullmoonritual #bloodmoon #sachets #fordays #yarnmagic #gypsymagic https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs1RyodHGrj/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ctlwzyg112zw

#iyawojourney #fourcornersoflight #itsinmothershandsnow #respectthamagic #lovesuppliesbotanica #gypsymagic (at Lovesuppliesbotanica)

Let me run into the forest...

Let me run into the forest

Never again to be seen

Run amongst the trees

Where everything is green

Leave behind the stress and pain

And everything in-between

Forget all the hateful lies

Where I can learn to be free

Let me run into the forest

You'll often ask about me

But when they answer

Ill be but a memory

Ill run into the forest

My feet deep in the dirt

Wearing nothing else except

My favorite flowing skirt

Don't follow me in the forest

For I long to be alone

Running from this modern life

Thats run me to my bone

Don't be worried bout my forest life

Its what I wished for most

Where nature gives me everything

And Gaia is my host....

Debated about putting some of my Crystals in cases, but decided to give it a try! #crystal #crystals #stones #mystic #magical #magick #magickal #heal #healing #healingcrystals #healingstones #gypsy #witch #gypsywitch #gypsysoul #gyspylife #gypsymagic

Lately I have been working on building a home. House BY SANDY FLORIAN "A building for habitation and habit. Or. Headquarters of a domicile. A dwelling place of a family. Or. A structure that serves as shelter. As. A burrow or nest or cave. A shack in a series of shacks. With nooks and garrets and stairs. This is your corner of the world. Thick with suspicious walls. Or. I am backpedaling through my Motionless Childhood. For. A box for the keeping of birds. A place of worship. As. A church. Entertainment. As. A tavern. For. To be quit of you I confine myself to the house. Or. I am living alone in such emptiness. Burying my Lares in the basement. But. If this house should come to ruin, I am trying hard to fix the dispersed days. When you haunted this house of horror. Or. I am furnshing my house with memory. As. Locomotives and other forgettings. Inmates collectively. For. A daughter who brings the house down. The harder shell of a snail. Or. A tortoise. As. The swallow builds its own indent. Of wood, or stone, or clay. Protection from weather. Protection again from time. The first principle of architecture From which all things extend. But. Until you hit the boy in the back with a bottle, this is but a barroom box. Where six tall men play gilded guitars. Two which ways and ever which time. For. These are my lullaby lies. And. This house has memory of home. The I and the not I. As. Protection of I. Divisions of the brain. For. A receptacle of any kind. A twelve parts of heaven. Or. The entire sky. Excepting parts that never rise. For. A sign of the zodiac is considered the seat. Where artificers may be heard. But If seven children play at house, fireside things lie in the brush. Or. What is more beautiful than a road? A roof and a roost. A den and my digs. I am confined as by illness. To stay in this house without purpose." #witchesofinstagram #mentalhealth #GypsyMagic #minnesota #poetry #minnesotaart #landscape #gonorth #travelblogger #lakelife #photography #house (at Fifty Lakes, Minnesota) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzykuS7FE51/?igshid=shlwbrklngbx

A little midnight #magic #potion to start your Friday ✨🦋✨ 🌙 💫 ⭐️ This #pretty #creation has #crystal fragments from my personal collection along with some #pink 🌸 #fairydust. Now to #dream up a new #Lovely to paint with this #energylaced #oilpaint. 🌝 ☀️ 🌜 #boho #bohemian #gypsymagic #artfidovideo #art #anthropology #artdeco #ambersophiaart #ambersophia #relaxing #beautifulbizarre #happiness #holistic #energywork #reiki #silver #mirror #asmr #tingles #iloveyou

My resulted from the Solar Eclipse Spread by @lunaesteria

1) The Hermit 2) Knave of Chalices 3) The Chariot

Love this spread. Enough said. 👏🏾🔮

I'm in love with these #irridescent #moon crystal necklaces by @rockswithsass my new #favoriteplace for #mysticalcrystaljewelry #crystals and other #witchy things .They are #givingmelife . I can't wait to get mine #musthave #jewelry #mooncrystal #moons #phases #moonstone #moonmagic #moon #mystical #gypsy #gypsymagic #magic #stones https://www.instagram.com/p/BqvHDQjBs9_/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ocmqohlmfhtv