Healing with Kindness and Forgiveness

I'm going to make a sweeping statement and say that not one person on this planet has been able to avoid the healing process for some form of emotional or psychological pain…. Myself included.

After several attempts of trying to get life right and learning to heal following painful situations, I am going to make another sweeping statement and say that I have cracked the code of healing.

My code to healing consists of KINDNESS… (the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate) and FORGIVENESS (the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven). These concepts are then applied as follows:

Be kind and forgive yourself.

Be kind and forgive the person or thing that caused you pain.

Be kind to those around you.

So let me explain:

Be Kind and Forgive Yourself

It’s so easy to fall into the mindset of “I should have seen this coming” or “The signs were there and I should have done something sooner”. Hindsight (understanding of a situation or event only after it has happened or developed) is a wonderful thing however, as per the definition, is only available AFTER the fact. During the time leading up to the pain, you were acting with best intentions. You wanted to love the person with all the red flags. You wanted to be good to someone even if they weren't good to you. You stuck around to see if things would change. You tried your best to make it work. Notice how all the things you tried to do are positive things?

An old saying that sticks with me is that “I have never been hurt by an enemy”. It is a fair and reasonable statement to say that the person who hurt you, was someone you CARED for. I'm sure you wouldn't be hurt if you were expecting them to act in malice or didn’t care for them anyway.

Whatever pain you have experienced will require healing and when you have been wounded, you need to take a step back and forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not acting sooner, after all, you wanted to see if there was good in the person/situation. You did not act in malice and you loved the person so much that you trusted them not to hurt you. While you are forgiving yourself, be kind to yourself. Do the things that fill your heart cup. Take time off work to rest and sleep if you need it. Speak to those around you so you can set an expectation of them not expecting more from you. Do things that will release endorphins such as running, laughing (even if you don't feel like it)... even having sex will do the trick!! Aside from healing your heart and soul, on a scientific level, releasing endorphins acts as a painkiller and WILL boost your mood. Do the things that are good for your soul while accepting what has happened and forgiving yourself for what you believe were your shortcomings.

Be Kind to the Person or Thing that Hurt You

Now this one seems counterintuitive I know. The common narrative is often “They hurt me, I want to hurt them”. If we allow this narrative to win though, there can be some awful consequences. Revenge might seem sweet, but it's a dish best served cold and will not keep you warm at night.

Now don't get me wrong, I’m not asking you to forgive the person for them…. Chances are (especially if you're dealing with a narcissist) they don't even think they did anything wrong. I’m asking you to forgive them for you. After all this is your healing journey.

I heard a saying that “holding onto hate (or any negative emotion for someone) is like drinking the poison and expecting them to die”. Holding toxic emotions, hatred, resentment, distaste… is holding that toxicity within you. Again, they might not even think they did anything wrong so they don't care that you feel that way, so why keep allowing yourself to feel that way. You have just been hurt, you have an open wound you are trying to heal from and by holding onto toxic emotions, you are only adding salt to that wound and preventing it from healing.

Even Jesus said at his crucifixion “forgive them Father for they know not what they do”. To hate is human, to forgive is divine… start being divine and work towards removing toxicity from your wound. Show them the kindness of being forgiven even if they don't think they deserve it. No need to go out of your way for them, but don't show animosity, that shit is toxic. Show them the kindness of not reacting to their actions, not because they deserve it, but because you are a better person than to hold on to the pain that they inflicted.

Show Kindness to Those Around You

I’m going to just come out and say it… people are WEIRD! We want to show charity, we want to help others but when someone tries to show it back, we don't accept it. You expect others to accept your charity but you won't accept the charity being given to you…. Think about that concept for a minute.

When people say things like “you don't have to go through things alone”, stop taking it as lip service. Stop trying to be a hero and get through your pain on your own. When you break your leg, you go and see a doctor. When you cut yourself and you cant put on a band aid, you ask someone to help you. Why are unseen wounds treated differently?

This actually works well for the other person who you presumably care about since they are offering up their time and energy for you. When someone offers assistance, they are doing this out of kindness to you. Why not show them the kindness of validation and ALLOW them to help you.

Humans are pack animals. We operate as a community. We raise each other's children and support each other in education, medicine and so many other ways. Why do we push back on our “pack” when we are emotionally or psychologically in need?

If someone offers you their presence, try and take it. Let them come over with a pot of tea or to sit in your space if you feel comfortable to do so.

If someone offers you their time and a listening ear, take it to get things off your mind.

If someone offers you sound advice, try and consider it.

A person in need of first aid is never going to say “no thank you, I will stitch myself up” so why do we as humans knock back someone wanting to help with our emotional or psychological wounds? Lets change this narrative too, even if you don't feel like it at the time. Let's change it from “I don't want to be a burden” to “I need this person's help to heal”. Set your boundaries as to what you are comfortable in discussing/doing but allow someone who has offered you the charity of kindness to make good on their offer.

So there you have it, 36 years of challenges, adversity, pain, wounds and scars summarised into 3 points that create a strong foundation for healing our pain. Are they easy to adopt, God no! We have to unlearn a bunch of things to be able to enact some of these principles. Do they work when they are adopted, in my opinion, absolutely. This is my method to healing, tried and tested by myself. I sincerely hope that they work for you too.

We're not all for the light...

Some of us don't identify as light workers and that's ok. Some of us find our comfort in the dark where we ourselves have lived in for a large portion of our lives. We are so comfortable in our own darkness, that the shadows others live in doesn't scare us either. We are the ones who may not show you light but will sit with you long enough in your dark until you're ready to seek the light yourself. Sometimes having that person be with you is enough to see that the darkness is just as necessary as the light for without it, light does not exists.

Some of us know where the light is and yes it's nice to bask in its warmth but we also make a choice to acknowledge the darkness and all that's held inside it.

If you're one of these people who finds themselves wrapped in the comfort of darkness, I sincerely hope you never feel pressured to be of the light.... to work in light and only stay in the light.

We all have our place and we are all important in our own and others journeys. Embrace it x

#gypsy #gypsyheart #gypsysoul #pondering #musing #darkness #darkneedslight #lightneedsdark #embraceyou #dancetothebeatofyourowndrum

What is love?

I used to think you only got 3 real loves in your life...

The first was to teach you what it felt like and it was the one that would hurt the most im the end.

The second, was to see if you learnt the lessons and it was the one you would fight for.

The third was the blessing that would stay and show you how you deserved to be loved.

But what if I was wrong... what if there is a fourth? What if we write our own story? What if our fate isn't already written?

My first love hurt so much... not just because of the break up but because there was no way it was ever going to work yet the feelings were there. He lived on the other side of the country and my heart was left very scarred.

My second love was the one who gave me the miracle of children and found me when I was vulnerable. Despite how hard I tried to make it work, the control and abuse became overwhelming... it was the one I needed to leave.

My third... well... I was told by many a psychic he was "the one" my "forever person" yet as fate would have it, I needed to leave. We are still friends. He helped to rebuild me. He is still by my side as one of my dearest people but no longer my lover. But im so ok with that.

After I left... I was so alone. This wasn't a bad thing in hindsight. It was uncomfortable and strange. It wasn't what I was used to. But I got on with it. I became very comfortable in my space. No one asking where I was, I was strong enough to hold my own and I was happy in my bones...

But then something very unexpected happen. I met HIM. The fourth and with the blessing of the universe, my last.

I learnt what love felt like. I learnt what love shouldn't feel like. I felt what it was like to be empowered.

He has a tough gig.... im no longer naive and im no longer finding myself. I'm not in need of saving. I'm not in need of healing. I'm in need of love. As basic as that. No complications or expectations... just love.

To date, he has shown he is capable of it. He has shown me nothing but love and a safe space to let my walls down. I have every faith that he will continue and despite the cynic in me wanting to pick out flaws, I keep coming up empty handed.

What will happen? The universe knows alone. For now, I plan to ride this wave and enjoy the warmth of the sun while I pray it lasts until my dying day.

Let me run into the forest...

Let me run into the forest

Never again to be seen

Run amongst the trees

Where everything is green

Leave behind the stress and pain

And everything in-between

Forget all the hateful lies

Where I can learn to be free

Let me run into the forest

You'll often ask about me

But when they answer

Ill be but a memory

Ill run into the forest

My feet deep in the dirt

Wearing nothing else except

My favorite flowing skirt

Don't follow me in the forest

For I long to be alone

Running from this modern life

Thats run me to my bone

Don't be worried bout my forest life

Its what I wished for most

Where nature gives me everything

And Gaia is my host....

Once Bitten, Twice Shy

Once bitten, twice shy.

An old saying I'm sure everyone has heard at some stage... but what does it mean?

The saying itself literally indicates that if you're playing with an animal, let's say a snake, and that snake bites you, you might think twice before approaching it and playing with it again. It would make perfect sense to think twice because of course we don't want to get bitten again!

In colloquial terms, it means when you get hurt by someone then you might rethink your behaviours or approach when faced with a similar situation.

In both the literal and colloquial sense though, no one likes the snake. We might choose to carry the burden of dislike or even hate for the snake when all the snake was doing was acting within its nature. It's not the snakes fault you played with it. It's not the other person's fault you chose to stick around if they were doing the wrong thing. It's not the situations fault that you made the decisions you did. Yet we continue to remain unfriendly to the thing that bit us.

What if we changed this around and didn't make the snake the "bad guy". What if we looked at the situation and took accountability for our actions? What if instead of just being "twice shy" we learnt a real and genuine lesson but continued to practice love and kindness for the snake? What if we let go of the burden of dislike and hate and became GRATEFUL for the snake? After all it did show you that playing with an animal who's nature it is to bite when it feels threatened isn't a good idea. The snake taught you that some things aren't for you. The snake may have even taught you how to respect the space of all of Gaia's creation instead of feel the need to touch it against its will.

Once bitten, twice shy is a wonderful lesson indeed but there is no need to hate the snake.

Lets run through the woods and feel the wind in our face.

Seeing all the trees as we go rushing past.

Breathe in the air, so fresh and crisp.

Feel the leaves as they brush against your skin.

You can smell the earth, rich and raw.

You stop.

Heavy breaths.

Take it in.

Stop and see the beauty for what it is.

The birds, the wind, the leaves... all whispering their own special songs.

Wriggle your toes in the dirt,

Remember where you came from, acknowledge where you'll end up.

Acknowledge what we have been given, who we are, what we are, how we are.

Appreciate what we're given, what we receive and what we give.

Can you feel the peace?

Can you feel the love?

Can you feel the mother's hug that nature gives?

Can you feel it from deep inside?

If you can, run free again.

Enjoy her, respect her, love her.

My story is my own...

My story isn't pretty

It was never meant to be

My story isn't pretty

But it was meant for me

My story isn't pretty

Its full of hurt and pain

My story isn't pretty

But I'd live it all again

My story isn't pretty

But some parts are filled with light

My story isn't pretty

And its time to make it right

My story will be beautiful

Now I can write the pages

My story will be beautiful

To be told for all the ages.

An Ace up your Sleeve

The Universe and our guides give us signs every day. Sometimes its a “gut feel”. Other times it’s seeing the same sequence of numbers in random places. For others, it’s a feather in an odd place where there is no way that a bird could have been. In some instances, it’s synchronicity with another person, a little voice in your head that tells you to look up at a specific time or sometimes, it’s the feeling to just stop for a moment. Sometimes we take note, other times we walk straight past them because we are in our own repetitive loop that has given us tunnel vision. Whatever the sign though, if you DON’T listen, the Universe and your guides have an amazing way of getting the megaphone out to make sure you hear it eventually.

I would like to share with you one of the clearest signs I have ever received from my guide to tell me that everything would be ok. It was on this day I realised how much I needed to start listening.

Its no secret that I live with mental health issues. I think as an empath, it almost comes with the territory. We feel so much, we can feel others pain, we can get overwhelmed when there is too much energy. For me, it manifests in the form of Anxiety and Depression. I have learnt to live with them and I have come to accept that they have helped shape the person I am. I have learnt to manage them in such a way that I live a happy and fulfilled life with minimal “episodes” without medication and ongoing external treatment (Disclaimer: I did once need these things and there is no shame or judgment if this is where you are with your journey). I have learnt that whenever they start to overpower me and I feel like perhaps things are no longer manageable, I seem to get out of that situation or state like I have an Ace up my sleeve. Sometimes I follow my plans and other times, I don’t quite know how I do it, I just end up being ok.

Following a painful relationship breakdown in 2019, I decided to get my first tattoo at the age of 32. Some girls change their hair, I handed in my “clean skin” club card. The tattoo of choice, was a small letter A with a love heart under it on my left wrist. It reminds me that no matter what happens in life, I always get out of bad situations like I have an Ace up my sleeve. Since I was going through a rough time, it seemed fitting. I love it.

Around October of 2020, when things were looking up for me, my mental health, out of nowhere, took a downward turn. This particular episode lasted about 6 weeks and I couldn’t work out WHY I was feeling so down. Nothing bad had happened but I just couldn’tt pin point why my mental health was playing up.

One day on my way to work, I prayed. I prayed to my guide, to ArchAngel Michael and to the Universe for help or even a sign that things were going to be ok. I shed a tear in traffic and prayed my little heart out for something.

I parked my car at work and gave myself a minute to collect myself to pretend that everything was ok. When I was ready, I got out of the car and started walking. As I looked down at the ground to step up on the curb, something caught my eye. In a patch of dead leaves… one of these leaves was NOT like the others…. One of these leaves was an Ace of Hearts!!! Just laying there! No other cards around it, nowhere obvious where people may have been playing cards. Just sitting there in leaf litter on a pathway waiting for me to find it.

This was it. This was my sign. I asked for it and the Universe, my guide and ArchAngel Michael gave me my sign.

Just in case the Divine timing and personal meaning wasn't enough, when playing cars are used for divination, the Ace of Hearts shares the same meaning as the Ace of Cups. The meaning of the Ace of Cups in the Rider Waite Smith Tarot is joy and inner peace from friends and family.

Since then, whenever even a smidgen of doubt creeps into my mind that I am alone, I think of this card and how it was divinely placed in front of me in my time of need. I still have it and hold it in my book of shadows. I can still envision my Gypsy guide, arms folded with a smug grin on her face saying “there’s your sign, still think you’re alone?”.

That day the Divine spoke to me clearer than I have ever heard. In hindsight, it has always spoken to me in some way but I just didn’t always listen. Perceptions changed and gratitude grew. I’m proud to say that I am forever grateful and never alone.

A blessing is a blessing

November 2021 was a particularly difficult time for me. I had a lot of things going on and was very much feeling challenged by the Universe. Nothing was in my control but everything had a significant effect and consequence on my life at the time. Things didn’t seem fair but on this spiritual journey, I stopped and asked what the opportunity was among all the chaos. The one that stood out was that I had no control over anything and I had to hand over control to the Universe. It hasn’t let me down before and it was yet another time I had to put trust and faith in a higher power. The other opportunity, to experience and appreciate the beauty that came from blessings bestowed by other and directly opposing faiths. In this blog, I would like to share that experience with you.

Prior to the chaos of the time, I started a new role with a new company, managing a new team, meeting new people and exposure to new opportunities. Although I didn’t ask, I’m pretty observant and noticed that every person around me had a different spiritual orientation. When taking on a new team, I usually look at what’s important to them in this space so that I can share in and acknowledge the holidays and beliefs they observe so as to share in the happy times but also to not offend anyone..

Out of all the religions and spiritual orientations in the team, the one I knew the least about was that of a Jehovah's Witness. I always knew that they didn’t celebrate birthdays and couldn’t accept blood transfusions, but that’s all I knew. So I did some reading. The piece that interested me the most was WHY they didn’t celebrate birthdays as in an office environment, that’s the main time everyone buys cake and awkwardly sings to the birthday person. This is what I learnt:

No where in the Bible does it say that they can’t celebrate birthdays.

The Bible does say that people are not to practice deviation of any sort which includes bestowing blessings or wishes on anyone.

It was a Pagan practice to wish people well around their birthday as it was believed that during that time, demons and dark energy tried to influence the birthday person.

Bestowing “Birthday Wishes” of a “Happy Birthday” was considered a form of deviation as it was to protect the person from the bad stuff.

I found this fascinating but not surprising. It’s not the first time that I have heard about this being forbidden, in fact they used to burn men and women at the stake for doing this. It seems the Jehovah's Witness just take it a step further and don’t observe birthdays including Jesus’ birthday, for this reason!

So where does this fit when the coffee cup scrying, card reading, spirit seeing Gypsy is having a hard time?

Knowing my faith was different to hers, she reached out on her days off and on weekends to tell me that she was thinking of me, praying for me and even shared a heart-felt Bible passage that meant something to her in the hope that I would find comfort and light in the darkness. I could choose to take this one of two ways…. I could dismiss her gesture as we don’t share the same faith, in fact, what I follow is strictly forbidden in her faith, or I could graciously accept her prayers, thoughts and kindness. I chose the latter and let me tell you why.

On my journey, I have learnt that it takes energy, sometimes a lot of it to focus on an intention to make something happen. Praying to a deity whether it’s God, Jehovah, Lilith, Gaia, Allah or any other deity is usually with good intent. Someone is literally asking the one spiritual entity they feel closest to to send you protection, love, happiness or whatever it might be. Wow! Just Wow! They could have asked for a million dollars or for a Range Rover but no, they asked a higher power to help with YOUR happiness. There is something pretty special in that.

What it came down to for me was kindness. People always say “it’s the thought that counts” yet when someone from a different faith puts out a positive intention, they can often be dismissed and at times even scoffed at. They aren’t forcing spirituality or religion down your throat, this is an act of kindness from a spiritual or religious person using what they believe in to wish you well. This could be all they can offer. They may have nothing more to give than a thought or a prayer or a small trinket. That isn’t something to dismiss.

So in a nutshell, my learning is:

Kindness is universal.

If someone is of another practice to you, as long as they come with good and pure intentions, why don’t we accept them as freely?

Ignorance IS NOT bliss. Ignorance is optional. If you care enough about someone or something, you will learn more about it.

In a world of spirituality, there is no room for passing judgment. Lets face it, we’re all just doing what we feel is right to feel fulfilled.

There are over 4000 recognised religions around the world. Who’s to say who has it right? We’re all doing the same thing just with different deities. Who’s to say who’s right?

Judgment should only be passed by a higher power. While we are here on Earth, we are equals and just as important as each other. Let’s start sharing instead of snubbing, accepting instead of denouncing, honouring differences instead of using it as a reason to divide.

To point number one, just be kind.

Whatever your faith, whatever your orientation, whatever your belief, if you’re kind, you’re ok by me.

Going on a journey alone isn't nearly as fun as going with people who help you grow....

I have found so much peace since I have chosen to follow my heart and soul x

Perceptions

Were they intimidating or are you intimidated?

Were they deceptive or do you feel deceived?

Were they telling the truth or do you feel lied to?

Were they actually trying to hurt you or do you feel hurt?

What if how you see things is just your perception?

Recently in my “Dreams of Gaia” Tarot deck, the “Perception” card keeps throwing itself out. When I run my Tarot, I work with jumping cards instead of picking a card. I never know what card my guide will make jump out at me but whichever they are I choose to see them as a sign. Could it be bad shuffling? Maybe. But when the same cards come out through “bad shuffling” it certainly makes me focus my attention.

Recently, I have had a few conflicts. With old friends, close friends, family, you name it. Being an emotionally driven person, I would normally allow my primitive instincts to kick in launch into defensive mode. Instead, I have been making a conscious effort to consider the other person and their perceptions and have been trying to respond instead of react. Have I perfected this? Heck no! But Lord knows I try to get better at this every day.

When I consider these situations and the Perception card, its hard to look at situations and not consider other perceptions. Were the comments, allegations and statements made in malice? Were they made from a place of insecurity? Were they made to intentionally hurt anyone? Were they made due to a perception of MY behaviour? So many questions that I now feel need answers before I make a determination on how I truly feel about any situation.

Interestingly, these questions also apply when I consider any divination. From the Querent having a perception as to how and if your methods work to how you interpret the messages that come through. Are we looking at the image in isolation or are we looking at the message in the context of the story the divination is trying to tell? Are we only giving our perception or are we also sharing how it could be perceived by someone else?

Take if you will, the example of the death card in Tarot. Someones reaction when seeing the word Death associated with an art they are not familiar with could be one of shock and despair. Yet those who are familiar with the meanings of this card belonging to the Major Arcana will respond with knowing that it is associated with new beginnings.

A big part of my shadow work has been about responding rather than reacting and this concept has been a major player in how I respond. I still feel ugly emotions when an attack is made on my integrity but I still try and consider where the other person is coming from and consider my thoughts. Sometimes I see the Devil show up in a reading and I’m still taken a back before taking the time to look at the bigger picture. I’m not going to lie, I don’t have this down to a fine art. I am still learning about how this all works. Do I still react? Of course I do! I’m human, I’m emotional, I have spent 35 years reacting, this is a new behaviour. Am I trying to change that? Absolutely.

So what are some of the things I have learnt on this part of my journey…

Sometimes, my communication is shit. When I idnetify that its shit, I apologise, clarify and improve it. This may not happen immediately, but it’s getting better.

If I am struggling to articulate a perception, I say that. I tell people I need a moment to consider my thoughts and I want to communicate this. This goes for readings too.

When I want to react, I start to ask questions to clarify that I understand what the person is trying to say. When I am clear on that, then I make a decision as to how I want to proceed. Whichever way it is its always a conscious and thought out decision.

I have become aware of my triggers. If I know that something has triggered or is about to trigger an emotional reaction, I respectfully ask for time to consider my thoughts before I continue the conversation. If I am not allowed this space, I know I may say something that I may regret and I will communicate this message if I need to.

In a reading, I educate myself on what the card means before I show a ration or respond. Education is so important whether its understanding different communication styles, behaviours or even basic psychology. Same goes with understanding signs and what symbols and what they mean.

If I fuck up, I am the first to apologise.

If i feel that you have fucked up, I will put up a clear and obvious boundary. You wont need to question what this is as I will tell you.

I know I am not perfect but I know I am willing to learn. This applies both personally and spiritually.

I am clear on my values.

I am willing to always hear the other side as long as they are willing to hear mine.

If my perception is not the same as yours, thats ok! Im not going to argue or convince you otherwise.

It’s ok to step away when needed. Its not good bye, its not defeat, its not a sign that you don't know what you’re doing, but it may be necessary to effectively relay a message, preserve the past love or secure a future.

I appreciate and understand that these are the learnings from my journey and they may not be adopted by others. I guess this is why people write blogs, to share their thoughts and learnings in the hope that it might help others.

For those close to me, I hope this gives some insight on how I am working to improve myself and my communication to continue to grow and nurture my relationships. I hope it also gives some insight on how I scry when I deliver messages.

For those who I have fallen out with, I hope they see that I have tried to see things another way and that I too am human.

For those who enter my readings with doubt, I hope you see that while I have my interpretation, that in itself may not be the message.

For those who care and see my efforts, I thank you.

Come over for a coffee....

For hundreds of years, the Ottoman Empire ruled over parts of Eastern Europe including Bosnia. The Kingdom of Bosnia fell in 1463 and remained under Turkish rule until 1887. The country only officially became detached in 1908 when it became part of Austria-Hungary. I won’t get too much into the history of it but if you are interested, here is a Wikipedia link to more information. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ottoman_Bosnia_and_Herzegovina#:~:text=The%20Ottoman%20conquest%20of%20Bosnia,Bosnia%20finally%20fell%20in%201463.&text=Bosnia%20continued%20legally%20under%20the,fall%20of%20its%20capital%20Jajce.

So what does this have to do with spirituality? If you would indulge me for a moment, I would like to explain…

Coffee plays a huge part in Turkish Culture. It’s brewed in the traditional way that has been passed down through generations. It kept people connected socially where friends and family would come over for a coffee and enjoy the finely ground, unfiltered beverage. The cups, pots and saucers turned into works of art and it became a point of pride to the Turkish people to have those close to them sharing in the moment together.

There is an old Turkish proverb “the memory of a cup of coffee lasts 40 years”. To me that says that sharing in that moment is a memory to be cherished.

Coffee was SO important in the 15th Century that a woman had grounds for divorce if her

husband was not able to provide ENOUGH coffee!!

Needless to say, after a 400+ year rule, coffee became an important part of the Bosnian way of life too as customs and traditions were adopted.

Growing up, I used to always hear my parents telling people to come over for a coffee not realising that it’s the 21st century Australian equivalent to going out for a drink. When people would come over, guests would turn their cups over onto their saucers, waiting for them to dry for my mum to pick up the cup and “read” the grounds. She would look in the cup and tell the drinker that she would see them going on a trip and traveling or they would be coming across a substantial amount of money. They would have a bit or a giggle, some friendly banter until she would ask the drinker to press their finger into the grounds and make a wish. At this point she would gaze into the cup again and tell the person if their wish would come true.

From a young age, I thought this was pretty cool. When mum would see the guests out and inevitably spend another 30 minutes talking to them while they were in their cars, I would pick the cups up and see what my mum was talking about. As I gazed into the cups, I would see pictures in the coffee grounds and worked out what my mum was talking about. I was fascinated but thought it was all a bit of fun.

I spent a lot of years as a young adult not pursuing what I was drawn to spiritually. For all intents and purposes, I stopped reading coffee cups and if mum ever asked me to do so, I would do it for a bit of a laugh and make the reading comical regardless of what I saw.

During the great plague of 2020 aka Covid-19, I decided to learn how to make Turkish coffee. Despite it always being around, I never really knew how to make it. Once I learnt how to make it, it came naturally to flip the cup upside down to subsequently read the grounds. My first few readings were on myself, then a couple of close friends. One that I fondly remember was seeing a pregnant woman in the coffee cup of a single male friend. My words were “dude, strap it up, I see a pregnant woman and I know you don’t want to be a daddy!” We had a laugh until I heard the message come through that it wasn’t his but there was going to be a child. A few months later, I got a phone call from him telling me that his sister was expecting. He is an amazing uncle and this was music to his ears. This sort of thing happened a few more time, very much validating my readings and building my confidence in scrying.

Today, reading Turkish coffee cups is my preferred method of scrying. I don’t like to say that it’s a method I chose, as you can see through my story, it more or less chose me first. I no longer treat it as a “party trick” and now use Oracle and Tarot cards to validate the messages coming through. Sometimes when scrying, I’ll hear messages come through from the drinkers guides or loved ones that have passed. These readings are particularly special as not only does the drinker feel comfortable enough in my presence, so do the spirits around them.

Will I ever master this art? Maybe. In the meantime, I’m happy to say I am still practicing. Learning is a life long journey and learning the art of scrying no matter the method is no exception to this rule. Will I always get things right? I don’t know. When scrying, a lot is open to interpretation. I may see something that resonates but I might interpret it in a way that doesn’t. Will you always want to hear what the cups say? Probably not. Just like other methods, the messages that come through are what you need to hear not necessary what you want to hear and I have no intention of sugar coating.

One thing I do know however is that when you are invited over for a coffee, you may get a bit more than just a strong, unfiltered tasty beverage.

What if.... ?

Take my hand and dance with me,

Even if you don't feel like it.

What if your body craves freedom,

Even if it doesn't seem like it?

Look up at the sky with me,

Even if you think you wont see a thing.

What if the stars shine for you,

And what if they make your heart sing?

What if I show you a simple beauty,

Something you pass by every day?

It was always there waiting for you,

Hoping one day you would stay.

Sit with me and tell me your story,

Even if you don't say a word.

Hold my hand in silence,

And just forget the world.

Run with me through the trees,

Feel What Gaia brings.

Forget about life for a while,

And all your material things.

Dig your feet in the dirt,

Can you feel the warmth come through?

Ground your soul in the earth,

For it can only be felt by a few.

What if you you need to run,

Even if you don't know where to?

What if you let go of ego,

Spread your wings and just flew?

What if you could scream,

And no one heard a sound?

What if you got lost on purpose,

Just to be found?

Where It Started

Welcome to my first official blog for The Teacup Gypsy.

This project has been a lifetime in the making, I just didn’t know it until now. My intentions are to share my stories and journey to encourage my readers to look outside of what we have been taught about spirituality.

So let me start by telling you a little bit about me. My real name is Marijana but since a young age, my family have called me Maya. I am the third child and only daughter to my immigrant parents who crossed seas to come to Australia in the 80’s from former Yugoslavia. I was born in Sydney but at a young age my parents moved my 2 brothers and I back to what is now called Bosnia. As murmurs of war were starting, my parents took to the side of caution and moved back to Australia, this time Perth, where we have stayed. I was raised a Catholic with all the sacraments but never regularly went to church. Some of my parents closest friends were Muslim and Orthodox. Our neighbour was Buddhist and of course as you meet people though life, you come across a bunch of atheists and agnostics who challenge faith and religion all together. Despite being surrounded by different faiths and beliefs, I was taught to be kind above all things, one of the things I’m most grateful for.

My spiritual journey started at a very VERY young age. Around the age of 4, I had imaginary friends I have vivid memories of. Rice and Little Girl was what I called them. We played every day and I even have memories of my mother spending time with their mother over coffee. My mum has NO idea what I’m talking about though when I recall these memories. Every kid has imaginary friends though right? The weird thing is though that regardless of how vivid my memories are, I can’t for the life of me remember their faces… all I remember is what looks like their faces being blurred like when someone’s identity is withheld on the news.

When I was a little older, we moved into a town-house unit complex. In this house, weird things would often happen including mists and shadows moving past to full body apparitions. My brothers recall seeing a coat hanger levitate and spin in front of them both! My experience in the house was seeing a young man facing a wall eating something. He turned to look at me and all I could see was darkness where his face was before he disappeared. Since then, I have slept with the light on… I am now 35.

As a teenager, while everyone else was studying Catholicism in religion class (yes I went to a Catholic school too), I was exploring other religions and beliefs. Part of me wanted to be defiant, another part of me was just curious as to what other people believed. This is where my desire to learn about other belief systems started. Surely with so many other denominations and faiths, they can’t all be wrong and only one be right? Surely there was a reason people leaned towards having one God for every aspect of their life? What about all the people that believed in something before Jesus was born and the Bible was written…. What happened to them? Did they all go to hell because they didn’t believe in a religion that didn’t even exist yet? Perhaps my defiance wasn’t a bad thing? They say that the Lord gave us the ability to think for ourselves and to then make a decision on how we worshiped from there…. Perhaps I was practicing this religious loophole.

In my later teens, I started to have more and more experiences. Familiar voices calling my name but when I looked up, no one was there. Things I would just put down in a specific spot would seemingly disappear and even when I would clear the table and put it all back, I still wouldn’t be able to find it until I stopped looking for it and it showed up in the EXACT place I left it. Those situations were annoying and clearly delivered by trickster spirits but they were early experiences none the less.

After I left highschool, I got married and had children pretty quickly. Sadly, this is where there was a significant stunt in my religious growth. I was suddenly too busy to “listen to” and “see” messages and signs that were being delivered by the divine. Don’t get me wrong, they were certainly there and at times it was like the Universe had a megaphone next to my ear, but I was too scared to acknowledge it. I was too busy focusing on the day to day to have energy and time to commit to my spiritual world. But as we know, the universe still has a magnificent way of making sure we learn the lessons it is trying to teach. In my case, it used the demons of depression, stress and anxiety but I’ll get to that part of my journey in another blog.

Over the next 15 years, I raised children, built a successful career in banking and moved to mental health, I married (an Orthodox man), I divorced, I experienced heart-break, joy, financial pressure, peace, stress, calm, abuse, safety, anxiety, lessons, deep depression, support, defeat and great success. As much as I am tempted to write about my hardship, I can’t in all honesty do that. The universe had plans and I needed to learn balance. It was hard, I was lost, the void seemed inescapable at times but I wouldn’t change it for the world as it made me who I am today.

Let’s flash forward to March 2020. This is when I started to hear the messages as if they were being spoken by a friend over coffee. They became so clear at times even waking me from my sleep. Suddenly, I was no longer afraid and I welcomed the messages and experiences. For the first time in a long time I started to listen and I started to trust. It was hard but this was around the time I started to surrender my world to the universe. It dawned on me that I never had control. If I did, none of the really bad shit EVER would have happened, I never would have allowed it. I also had no control over the resolution. I clearly didn’t know what I was doing while I was trying to control my life. So I said “over to you, you clearly know better, I will trust you and I will take your lead”. I took a back seat in my life and I have not looked back. It wasn’t easy, it was like going down a dark forest path hearing wolves and just trusting you were going to be ok. It was scary! I succeeded a few times, I failed even more but what was important was that I was learning. Flash forward a year, I decided to focus on reconnecting to what my heart wanted, a gypsy way of life, one filled with spirit, magic, community, colour, fun, wonder, wisdom, learning, earth and so much more. As I learnt more and more about this way of life, I started to piece the lessons I learnt through my life together and I realised that I have been learning to live like this since I was a child. The things my mother would teach me, the superstition, even why I am known by 2 names. I realised that when I was “playing” when I was scrying with Turkish coffee cups, I was actually right with my predictions. I wasn't learning a NEW way of life, I was going back to the way of life that was meant for me.

I reconnected with old friends who were on similar paths. I was making new friends who were on similar paths. Things started to present themselves to tell me I was on the right path…. Randomly placed playing cards delivering messages, feathers, tarot cards, my totem animals… again the universe was bringing out the megaphone but this time I am listening.

Surrendering to the universe has delivered magic and continues to do so daily. It has not let me down therefore the choice was made to continue to honour it, listen and trust in the path it has set for me. Honesty, finally coming to the realisation that I am not in control has changed my life.

As I continue to write, I will share specific experiences and my thoughts on certain topics. I will share with you some things that are deeply personal to me in the hope that it will encourage you to explore what the universe is trying to deliver to you. I look forward to sharing my muchness in the hope that it helps you to discover yours. I don’t plan to stop learning. I don’t plan to stop growing. I plan to continue to share and to support others as they break away from the confines of what we have been taught spirituality is and redefine it as a journey as unique as ourselves.

Feel The Wind Gypsy 

Feel the wind gypsy

As it caresses your hair

Know that it brings change

It will show you it cares

Feel the wind gypsy

For it will kiss your skin

From the outside

Showing you love within

Feel the wind gypsy

You know that it's strong

Sometimes like a whisper

But carried for so long

Feel the wind gypsy

It makes things clear

Its not always what you see

But the spoken things you hear

Feel the wind gypsy

For it will show you love

As below

So above