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turtlethebean · 2 months

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BenxJacob Week Day 6: Pride

(Totally didn't forget to upload this here before being dragged into the outside world lol)

Read it on AO3: Dance with your Pride - Turtle_The_Bean - Criminal Case (Video Game) [Archive of Our Own]

The floor at the wedding reception seemed to vibrate under Jacob’s feet as he stood there, tapping his glass of wine. He wasn’t ever much of a party person, but seeing everyone so happy gave him a reason to stay past the dinner and the speeches. Come to think of it; he hadn’t actually been at a wedding since his own. That was over twenty-five years ago now, and, sadly, his wife couldn’t be with him to dance with him at this one.

He wanted to relive some of those memories. He wanted to dance with someone tonight, but he wasn’t quite sure who.

Scratch that; he knew who he wanted to dance with, but he wasn’t sure how to ask him. He didn’t even know how he would dance with him. Was there a difference in dancing with a man? Especially when he only had one arm now. Would that make a difference as well?

Not to mention, there was the tension. He knew the team had forgiven him on the surface, but he wondered how much of that was just a mask to keep the peace. He wondered if he deserved to continue being their leader, he wondered if he deserved to be officiating Zander and Priya’s wedding that day, but, most importantly, he wondered if he deserved to ask Ben to dance with him.

“Chief,” A sudden calling from Priya beside him snapped Jacob out of his thoughts, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, just…tired, that’s all. Long flight and everything.” He responded, trying to compose himself.

“Are you sure? Why don’t you go back to the hotel then?”

“No, no, I-I’m not that tired. I’ll just sit down at my table again.”

“Okay, if you need anything, just let me know.”

He thanked Priya and sat down at the table he was assigned to earlier that evening. It was empty now, with all the other guests either up dancing or huddled over at the bar ordering drinks. It probably looked sad, just an old man sitting at a table alone, but he somewhat enjoyed the peace it brought him.

His mind wandered back to Ben. He still had so much to say, especially tonight, but his guilt was holding him back. It was as though it was chaining him to his chair, forcing him to stay in place. He wished he could go back in time and slap the hell out of his past self, but despite this being a world where demons, vampires, werewolves, and the like existed, this wasn’t a world where time travel did.

“Teeth!” He heard, right before Gwen crashed into his table.

“You alright there, Gwen?” He asked, trying to hold back his laughter at her obviously drunken state.

“Why are you shitting there like a loon-sher, Teeth?”

“I’m just tired and thinking about stuff.”

“Oh, whatcha thinking ‘bout? Ish it a giirrl you wanna dansh with?”

“N-no, it’s not. I mean, it is someone I want to dance with, but it’s not a girl.”

“Ooh, you wanna dansh with a guy. I can be your wish-man if you want me to, Teeth.”

“Absolutely not. Not in the state you’re in.” He chuckled, imagining the sheer embarrassment of having a drunken Gwen ask Ben to dance with him. It was probably worse than him doing it himself.

“Fine, I’ll be your hype-man. Who ish he?”

Jacob was about to say something when he breathed a sigh of relief. Hope was (somewhat aggressively) walking over to them.

“Gwen! I told you to go back to our hotel room, not to harass the chief.” Hope gave Gwen a slap on the back of the head.

“I wasn’t hash-assing him, Hopie. I was hyping him up because he wants to ash someone to dansh with him,” Gwen explained, flopping from the table onto Hope’s shoulder.

“Really,” Hope raised an eyebrow, “Who would that be?”

“Doesn’t matter, I’m going to do it.” Jacob took a deep breath and stood up. Screw it; if he was going to enjoy this night, it wasn’t going to be looking after a drunk Gwen or sitting around moping. He was going to have a good night and there was nothing going to stop him.

“WHOO! TEETH EDDO! GO KISS HIS ASS!” Gwen cheered loudly, hyping up the embarrassed man as he started walking away from the girls.

“Yep, we’re going back to the hotel.” Hope sighed, dragging Gwen out of the room, mostly to avoid embarrassing the chief even further.

Jacob wasn’t quite sure if that helped him or not. Sure, the reduced noise level made it easier for him to focus, but now he could hear his breathing getting heavier while his heart started racing. He wondered if Ben could hear them, too, making his anxiety even worse.

Ben’s appearance wasn’t helping his heart rate at all. His suit was fairly tight on his body, showing off his muscles easily, especially without his jacket. Sure, it wasn’t too different from his usual outfit, but there was just something about him in a suit that made Jacob’s brain go haywire.

“Ben?” He called, almost unconsciously. He was so focused on how handsome he found him that he completely forgot where he was.

“Oh, Jake, sorry I didn’t see you there.” Ben’s voice made Jacob’s blushing face deepen in shade.

“Yeah, I, uh, just wanted to check in on you.”

“Aw, that’s sweet, but I know you. Come on, what’s up?”

“Dammit, how can you always see right through me?” Jacob chuckled, embarrassed.

“It’s called knowing you for over twenty-five years. Now, what are you hiding? What did you do this time? Anything like what you did at your wedding?”

“Oh god no, never anything like that ever again, especially not at someone else’s wedding. No, I…I wanted to ask you if you wanted to dance with me. I know this is pretty sudden, and you probably haven’t forgiven me for what I did a few months ago, but…I’ve wanted to ask you something like this for a while now.”

A few moments of silence passed between them. Jacob started reconsidering everything. He started wondering if he just made the person closest to him uncomfortable, maybe even made him hate him, like this was the last straw after everything that happened over the past year or so.

“Alright,” Ben gave him a smile, “Let’s dance.”

“W-wait, what? Just like that?” Jacob smiled back, hands trembling nervously.

“Yeah, I mean, why not?”

“Because of everything that has happened. I mean, a few months ago, I left you alone with everyone just because the demon queen was disguised as Lily.”

“You acted out of grief, Jake. I’m not saying I’ve forgiven you for that, but I don’t think that matters right now. So, yes, I’ll dance with you.”

“I…why? Why would you dance with me? Why would you dance with someone you can’t forgive? Someone who can’t be forgiven?”

“Jake,” Ben put his hands on Jacob’s shoulders and pulled him closer, “I’ve been in love with you for years since we met, but I kept it secret because of how much you loved Lily. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to forgive you for the way you left us behind, but deep down, that hasn’t changed how I feel about you.”

Jacob stepped back a little, shocked at all of this. He never knew Ben felt that way, and for over twenty-five years, no less. The guilt over his actions got worse, knowing that not only did he leave behind the people he was supposed to lead but also someone who truly loved him, unlike the person he was willing to blindly follow because of who she looked like.

“I…” His eyes welled with tears, “I’m sorry for everything I’ve done.”

“Hey,” Ben moved one of his hands to Jacob’s face to wipe off the tears, “Like I said, that doesn’t matter right now. For now, let’s dance.”

“Yeah…” Jacob nodded, being pulled closer to Ben as the two started moving in sync with each other and the music.

He tried to lose his thoughts in the music and movement, trying to distract himself from everything, but nothing seemed to work. He tried looking into Ben’s eyes, but he was disgusted at his own reflection. He turned his attention to his surroundings, seeing Priya giving him a thumbs-up of support. To him, it felt disingenuous because of his actions.

Did he really deserve to be dancing with Ben after everything he did? After abandoning him all of a sudden? If he were in Ben’s position, he wouldn’t even want to look at him.

So why was he dancing with him right now?

The guilt caught up to him eventually and he let go of Ben. He left the room, trying to catch his breath as he stumbled out onto the balcony. He flopped his body onto the railing and buried his face in his hands. He couldn’t believe he would be so selfish and not consider how Ben felt about everything. He hated himself for his actions, praying he could turn back time and take back everything he did.

“Jake?” Ben called, alerting Jacob to his presence on the balcony.

“I’m sorry, I…I guess the guilt is catching up with me. I don’t understand why you would want to dance with me after I just abandoned you. I don’t know how you weren’t embarrassed even just to be seen with me.”

“Jake,” Ben took his friend’s hands and sat him down, “I’ve been waiting for you to swallow your pride and ask me to dance for years. I wasn’t even thinking about what happened and honestly, I don’t care. All I want is for us to be together, even if it’s not romantically.”

Jacob gulped as tears welled in his eyes. He still didn’t feel like he deserved forgiveness, especially from him of all people, but if Ben didn’t care, then why should he? Why shouldn’t he just swallow his pride and move on?

“Y’know, I think it was the crowding that also got you.” Ben got off his chair and took out his phone. He started playing a song – one he knew was an old favourite of Jacob’s – and extended a hand to him.

Jacob accepted his hand and got up from his chair. He pulled Ben closer, and the two started dancing again.

Maybe he didn’t deserve it, but maybe that didn’t matter in that moment. Both could be true, just like the love they both felt in that moment.

#criminal case #criminal case supernatural investigations #criminal case season 7 #benxjacob week 2024 #ben shepherd #jacob arrow #gwen harper #priya desai #hope newman

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