#guster in drag | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

obsidiancreates · 4 months

Text

Henry Spencer Is A Bastard (With A Broken Nose)

Shawn and Jules have been living together for two weeks when Jules storms into the precinct, grabs Lassiter by the arm, and drags him into the interrogation room.

“O’Hara, what the hell is-”

“You’ve spent time alone with Henry,” she says, sitting Lassiter in the suspect chair. “What was he like?”

“What?”

“This is important, Carlton.”

Lassiter sighs, looking around the room for a moment before answering. “Unpleasant and judgemental. He had every quality of a great cop but none of an actual person I’d spend time with.”

“Which for you is saying something,” Jules mumbles, looking to the side. “Would-would you say you think he’s capable of intentional child endangerment or neglect?”

Lassiter sits up more. “What? O’Hara, what is this about?”

Jules takes a deep breath, looking down at her hands. “I was helping Shawn get some stuff from his old room, and we found an old journal from when he was a kid.It was mostly just doodles and half-finished homework, and he said to just throw it away, but… I kept it. I thought it was cute, to be able to look at what went through his brain as a kid.”

“O’Hara. If you’re alleging what I think-”

“I read more later while he was out with Gus and one of the pages was a failed writing assignment. He was supposed to write about what he did over the weekend and he wrote that his dad locked him a trunk and made him pretend to be kidnapped.”

Lassiter lets out a breath. “Okay. But you and I both know Spencer’s imagination-”

“Carlton, remember the kicked-out tailight? When he got shot?”

“O’Hara, I was with Henry through that whole investigation, and I don’t think I can say that the man I investigated with would purposefully hurt or neglect his son. He was like a machine through the whole thing.”

“There was more, though, Carlton. One of the assignments was to write about how they spent Easter and Shawn’s said he got cut on some glass trying to dig up his eggs. He drew a picture, it-”

She pulls out her phone and hands it to her partner. Lassiter looks at a crude drawing of a small stick figure on it’s hands and knees, overly-large shards on the ground in front of it, and an egg a good few lines below it. There’s a taller stick figure behind the small one, with a wide-open mouth and the words ‘You can do better, Shawn,’ written beside it.

The teacher’s note on the side says that Shawn needs to stop making up stories for assignments about his real life.

Lassiter hands the phone back. “O’Hara…”

Jules sits back in her chair a bit, the tension giving way to a slumped tiredness. “I know they’ve never had an… easy relationship, but Henry has always been so present, ever since we’ve known Shawn. I thought that was a good thing and Shawn’s discomfort was just Shawn being… Shawn.” She looks down at her hand in guilt. “What if I completely missed that he has reason, Carlton?”

Lassiter grabs one of Jules’s hands. “O’Hara, Henry Spencer is a bitter, unlikeable, and overbearing old man- but I really don’t think he’s capable of child abuse.”

Jules holds his hand back and gives it a squeeze. “I just… don’t know how to ask Shawn if these are real. He’s not exactly forthcoming about messy emotions and memories.”

Lassiter nods, and then blinks. “So let’s ask Guster. They’ve been stuck together like flies on a flytrap forever.”

Jules shakes her head. “If Shawn isn’t going to say anything, I really don’t think Gus will.”

“Well, you can either ask Guster if these are real, or you can worry about it forever and never get any answers.” Lassiter knows his partner well enough to know that’s unacceptable to her.

She gives his hand one more squeeze. “I’m just worried. Henry works here. He’s in charge of Shawn.”

“And I’m sure that when we talk to Guster about all this, we’ll learn that Spencer was just exaggerating like he always does.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gus reads the page with wide eyes. “Wait, he was serious about that?”

Lassiter stifles the urge to shout ‘Come on!’ when he hears Jules suck in a breath.

“You mean you knew about this already?”

“I mean, Shawn told me once that he liked Easter at my house way more because there was no ‘manhunt training’, but I thought he just meant something like when his dad would have him stakeout their porch.”

“He what?”

“It, sounds worse than it is. … I think.” Gus looks down at the old notebook again. “I thought. … I mean, Henry was always a little intense. When Shawn and I were boyscouts he used to set up challenges that were impossible to win, and then make us feel bad for not winning.”

“What do you mean, impossible to win?” Lassiter is starting to get concerned now. Shawn’s incessant need to show everyone up has been a pain in his ass for years, and if Henry reinforced that grating attitude and now acts like he tried to quell it-

“Stuff like telling us to go find a rocket in the middle of the woods and then going and grabbing it himself. He used to promise us ice cream if we won, then say he’d eat it himself if we didn’t win next time.” Gus’s face pinches the more he talks about the memories. “Gosh, I haven’t thought about that in years. I guess I didn’t realize how messed up that is until I said it out loud.”

“It’s horrible,” Jules says.

“But not criminal,” Lassiter reminds her. “And as… weird and dangerous as the eggs thing is, that’s not criminal either. … I think.”

“What about the trunk, Carlton?”

“... Yeah, that part’s looking pretty bad.”

Gus shuts the notebook. “We need to talk to Shawn about this. I don’t know if I’m even remembering right, but I know he will.”

“He’d never open up about something like this,” Jules says, gesturing to the notebook and letting her arms drop back to her sides with a flop. “He barely tells me about his childhood at all.”

“Well I was there for most of it, and I need to make sure I didn’t miss some serious abuse going down for our entire lives. Do you know how many times I’ve defended his dad to him, Juliet? … Oh my god, on that same boyscout trip with the rocket, he told me his dad had never said he loved him!”

Lassiter doesn’t need to look at Jules to know she’s probably seething with the rage of the entire underworld- if he believed in such a thing.

Henry better hope they find out it’s not as bad as it’s seeming.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Shawn gets home, Jules, Lassiter, and Gus are all sitting on the couch looking somber. Well, Jules and Gus look somber. Lassiter looks mildly offput.

“Guys! What’s all this, are we having some kinda surprise party?” Shawn looks around for decorations, but there’s nothing. He looks back with excitement. “Is it a case? A big one?”

“Shawn, sit down, we need to ask you about something.” Jules gestures for him to take a seat on a different chair.

“Uh-oh. That’s not your happy voice.” Shawn sits down and leans forward. “Hey, babe, what’s wrong?”

Jules takes a deep breath, and pulls out the notebook. Shawn looks at it. “Oh, that? Please don’t tell me that my drawing skills when I was eight are a dealbreaker.”

“Shawn, did Henry…” Jules falters. Shawn’s expression…

It doesn’t harden, per say. It just… shifts. Becomes a little closed-off.

“Spencer, did Henry actually make you dig through broken glass to find ridiculous holiday candy?” Lassiter says, offering Jules his hand for support. She takes it.

Shawn’s mouth quirks up in the corner, a huff-laugh escaping him. His eyes aren’t as amused, a dark look in them. “What? How-how’d you know about that?”

“Oh my god.” Gus looks sick.

“Guys, seriously, what is this?” Shawn reaches out and snatches the notebook, flipping through it. Fast at first, and then slower. The slight smirk disappears completely, and Jules and Gus know that habit of sticking his tongue over his teeth means Shawn is not in a good emotional space whatsoever as he reads.

He closes the notebook and tosses it onto the coffee table, sitting back into the chair and sniffling. “It’s uh- it’s nothing.”

“Dude, that is not nothing. I thought you were making that stuff up when we were kids!”

“What? Why would I make that up?” That just seems to confuse Shawn.

“Because you were always making things up!”

“Not about my dad! You were like, the one person I could talk about him with! You thought I was lying about everything the whole time?” Now he looks hurt.

“Not everything, but crazy stuff like him locking you in a trunk in the middle of a hot day and putting broken glass over your eggs, yeah! Oh my go- this makes me look back on everything I know in a completely different light, Shawn!”

“Okay, you can’t actually be this surprised, Gus. I mean, you were at my house all the time, you know how he was. We couldn’t even play hide-and-seek without me getting a lecture about hunting perps the right way.” The bitterness in his voice is familiar to his friends, the way he keeps from meeting their eyes, the arms crossed over his chest and tense body language. It’s not that they’ve never seen him like this. But they’ve never seen him like this and truly understood it. Even Gus.

Gus, who looks increasingly horrified as he thinks back on more and more memories. “When we were really little and you told me your dad would throw you out for reading comics, were you serious?”

Shawn scoffs a little. “No, I wasn’t.”

“Did he actually ban them?”

“... Yeah. That part he did. He said they made cops look bad.”

“Good god, Spencer, you’re talking like everything in your house was about cops twenty-four-seven.”

“Gee, Lassie, I wonder why. You’ve met my dad, right?”

“But you’re talking like he expected you to be a perfect cop from the second you were born.”

Shawn goes silent. He still won’t look at any of them.

“Oh, my god.” Jules reaches out to put a hand on Shawn’s knee. “Shawn, did he expect that?”

“... Look, guys, it’s… it’s done, alright? It is what it is, and… I’ve accepted that, and I’m working on making things work with my dad. I don’t… I don’t need this. Okay? I don’t want to think about it and get all…” He huffs. “Last time I thought a little too hard about all this stuff I ended up on my motorcycle with nowhere to go, and-and I don’t want to do that again, alright?”

“Shawn, this is important. We’re all working with Henry constantly, watching how he treats you, and this changes how some of that looks.”

“How?” Shawn finally looks at Jules, right in the eyes. “How does this change anything? He’s the same person, Jules. He-he’s controlling, and-and expects way too much, and is disappointed in me. That’s not different now just because you know he went overboard with stuff when I was a kid.”

Lassiter lets out a deep breath. He’d really… really been hoping this wouldn’t be the case. “How overboard, Spencer?”

Shawn looks at Lassie, and then clicks his tongue and looks away again. “Not in that way, man. He never hit me or anything.”

“So what did he do?”

“Why is this an interrogation?” Shawn stands up, pulling away from Jules’s outstretched hand. “This is stuff for me, and my dad to hash out, okay? Just me and him.”

“Did your mom know about this stuff?” Gus asks.

The mention of his mom seems to make Shawn shut down even more. “Now this is really over.” He walks away, and pauses for just one second to turn around and say, “Don’t- don’t go my dad about all this. I don’t want…”

“... Don’t want what, Shawn?” Jules’s voice is soft and careful.

Shawn doesn’t seem to be able to find the end of the thought. He just shakes his head and walks back out the door.

The three sit in silence for a minute. Jules has tears in her eyes. Gus looks almost shellshocked.

Lassiter stands up. “Alright, I’m officially taking lead on this case.” He looks down at his partner. “O’Hara, find out who in the precinct knew Henry well and still works there. We’ll interview anyone who he might’ve talked to his son about, see if we can dig up any leads there.”

“Whoa, Shawn just said he didn’t want his dad finding out we’re asking about all this, and we just learned he’s way worse than we thought,” Gus says, standing up too. “We can’t start poking around the precinct, because in case you forgot Lassie, he works there!”

“Part-time.”

“He’ll know something is up.”

“Please. I think I know how to run a discreet investigation, Guster.”

“Could you hide something like that from Shawn?”

“... Of course.”

“No, you couldn’t, and if you can’t hide it from Shawn it’s a safe bet that you can’t hide it from his dad.”

Jules stands up. “No, Carlton is right. None of us realized how these pieces fit together until we all talked about it with each other, right? If Shawn won’t… can’t, open up to us about it, the next best thing is getting as many witness statements as possible.”

“Why? It just feels like digging things up to dig them up at this point.”

“Because Henry is currently in charge of Spencer’s livelihood, Guster.”

“I know! He’s in charge of part of mine too!”

“Right.” Jules looks up at Lassiter. “And if we can prove to The Chief that Henry has a negative, unreliable bias against Shawn, we can lessen some of that control!”

“As much as I’d hate to see Spencer off the leash again, I’d hate to be helping enable an abuser even more,” Lassiter agrees.

“Abuser is a strong word.” Gus doesn’t look like he feels that sentence is 100% true. “He wasn’t all bad a lot of the time. I mean, he loosened up on the comic thing when we were older.”

“We know he cares, Gus,” Jules assures. “But, caring doesn’t mean he didn’t do something wrong. Really, really wrong.”

Gus swallows, and then nods. “I know.”

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They collect a good few statements over the next week.

One statement claims that Shawn would play poker with some of the officers when Henry brought him to the station- why Henry was bringing a seven year old to an active police station and then not keeping an eye on him was something that went unanswered- and that Henry was obviously upset when he discovered this. Another statement corroborated the story, and added that he caught sight of Henry taking all the money Shawn made from the games and shoving it into the police donation box.

One statement was from an elderly file sorter, who claimed that Shawn was sometimes sent down to grab files for his dad and used to complain to her that henry would only buy Shawn cop car toys, and no others. When she’d asked Shawn if he wanted to be a cop when he grew up, Shawn had reportedly said quote, “Something about not getting a choice.” Other statements claimed, when this was brought up, that Shawn seemed very excited by the idea of being a cop when he grew up- until his arrest.

One statement, given by someone Lassiter vaguely remembers being rookies with back in the day, lends more credibility to the recollections of the elderly woman. The statement claimed that when the rookie would go on ride-alongs with Henry or work under him, Henry would almost always complain about Shawn. Everything from Shawn having an interest that didn’t relate to being a cop, to Shawn ‘acting like a child’ when he would have been under twelve according to the timeline, to Shawn ‘not even trying’ during a specific incident where Henry claimed Shawn forged his signature to go on a field trip and quote “hesitated for a second with his pen or something- I remember it was something really minor, and Henry couldn’t stand it. I thought it was weird that he was teaching his son how to forge signatures and then expecting the kid to never use the skill, but it wasn’t really my place to say.”

By the end of the week, Jules is steaming and Shawn hasn’t come around the precinct at all. Gus keeps dropping by, digging up old journals of his own to use as cross-references when possible. Shawn is quiet with Jules at home, like he’s waiting for something big to happen and he’s worried he could trigger it early.

It makes Jules more upset at Henry, because now her boyfriend’s emotional immaturity seems a lot less like a natural childish nature and a lot more like having genuinely never been taught how to handle anything.

No, according to the information she and Lassiter have gathered, it looks like all Henry taught Shawn was that winning is everything, being the best is non-negotiable, and Shawn was born to be a cop and anything that didn’t align with that idea just… shouldn’t be there.

“Wow.” Lassiter tosses the latest statement onto his desk. “And I thought Henry didn’t discipline Spencer enough as a kid. Some of this stuff makes it sound like Spencer grew up in a boot camp.”

“He basically did,” Jules says bitterly, reading over one of Gus’s old notebooks. “Gus wasn’t even looking for evidence of it, and these journals are full of casual, offhand observations that look worse and worse the more we know. Listen to this one. ‘Today Shawn was in a bad mood, and when I asked him why he said his dad stole his mood ring after showing him to turn the box upside-down. I said that’s cheating, and Shawn said it can’t be if his dad said to do it.’ Who the hell steals a mood ring from a kid?”

“You’re getting caught on the small stuff again, O’Hara.”

“I know, I know. I just- now that we know some of the major things, even the small stuff is making me just unbelievably angry.”

“Yeah, it’s rough to read. At least you and I wanted to be cops.”

“Right? No wonder Shawn ended up a psychic detective, how do you just do something else after being raised so specifically like that? And no wonder he-he buys EasyBake Ovens and goofs off all the time, he had it so strict as a kid…”

“Mmmmm… let’s not excuse every antic, O’Hara. A lot fo it is still just him being a jackass.”

“I won’t get into this with you again, Carlton.”

“Good, I don’t want to get into it again either. … Heads up.”

Jules closes the notebook and tucks it into a desk drawer as swiftly and inconspicuously as possible, Lassie doing the same for his file. Henry walks past them, barley sparing a glance as he makes his way somewhere else.

Jules stares daggers at him so intensely that if dropped to the ground covered with enough puncture wounds to imitate Julias Caesar, Lassiter would think it was a mild scene all things considered.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s three weeks since Jules found the notebook when Shawn rolls over in bed, puts his arm around, and mumbles “I have an eidetic memory.”

Jules puts her book down and looks at Shawn with furrowed brows. “What?”

Shawn sighs and sits up properly. “I have an eidetic memory,” he says again, “And… I don’t like looking back, because I remember everything perfectly. Which means I usually remember what I felt perfectly too, and it usually wasn’t great feelings.” He can’t look her in the eyes this time, either, but instead of the tense, protective body language of before, he’s holding a pillow close to his chest and slightly burying his face into it, almost sagging around it.

Jules starts to rub his back. She knows how hard this kind of… difficult emotional discussion, is for him. Now she even knows why- suspects why, really, because not all of it is proven in full, but still she thinks she can cout is as knowing. “Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”

“About the memory?”

“Yeah. That sounds… really difficult to deal with, Shawn. Does Gus know?”

“Yeah, he knows. I think other than my dad, and… and you, he’s the only person who knows.”

“Shawn…”

“I just, I just want you to know… that I’m not asking you to drop it for no reason,” Shawn says, “Or-or because I don’t feel like it’s important. I know it is, I do. I just…”

“Don’t want to relive a lot of it,” Jules says softly. “... Shawn, does this mean you remember everything perfectly? All the time?”

“Eh… fifty-fifty. The ADHD gets in the way sometimes.”

“... But when it doesn’t?”

“I just try not to think about a lot of it.” Shawn moves again, to look her in the eyes, He takes a deep breath, and he looks a little pained. This kind of thing is painful for him, he’s so unsure how to navigate it. “I have to keep moving forward, Jules. It’d be so… so easy to just get stuck, forever, in all the stuff stored in my head. And I’m really, really trying to, I mean that. It’s difficult, and I’m not… always great at it, but I’m trying.”

“And you’re worried we’ll set you back?”

“No! No, I… I don’t know.” Shawn lets Jules pull him close to her chest and begin running her hand through his hair. “My dad and I don’t solve stuff, Jules. We just… argue over it. I’m getting tired of it.”

“... I understand.” She kisses the top of his head. “But I don’t like him being in charge of you when you’re a grown man anymore.”

“You think I do? … But it’s making him a lot happier than he’s been in a long time.”

“You should be happy too, Shawn.”

“Hey. Hey, I am happy.” He looks up into her eyes. “Look at me right now. I’m being cradled like a sweet little baby seal by the most beautiful, badass woman in the entire world. Of course I’m happy.”

Jules laughs a little and contorts a bit to kiss him on the mouth. “I’m glad you told me that, Shawn. And I promise, I won’t ask you to relive anything else for me.”

“... But you’re not going to stop investigating my dad, are you?”

“Did you stop with mine?”

“... Fair enough.” Shawn lays his head back down, and soon enough Jules hears soft snoring from him and mumbled phrases in his sleep.

…

An eidetic memory. Perfect recall.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Jules goes over everything they have so far knowing Shawn has a perfect memory, it makes her angry to such a degree that she thinks it might kill her. Not literally, but it feels strong enough.

She has some of Shawn’s old report cards, some statements she got from former teachers via social media contact, and some copies of pages of one of Gus’s old journals laid out in front of her, and she sees a pattern.

Shawn didn’t do good in school. His report cards are less than average, and are packed with notes about how he doesn’t pay attention, doesn’t seem to absorb any information, and doesn’t remember anything he’s taught. The statements from the teachers describe Shawn as hyperactive, passionate about everything but his schoolwork, and having difficulty with staying observant in class.

Gus’s old journals are full of the same, but also the opposite. Shawn didn’t pay attention in school, but sometimes he could pull something the teacher said from his memory word for word without even trying, and then a few entries later Gus would mention Shawn failed a test on that exact subject. Shawn got beat up because he told a bully he memorized the pattern of answers used in the math tests, but his dad told the teacher and let Shawn know he was doing it. And most of all, Gus writes about how freaky his friend’s ability to look at people and figure them out is. How Shawn notices almost everything almost all the time, and usually makes some dramatic conclusion that isn’t right, but he still notices things and Gus can’t figure out how Shawn fingers things out.

Detective training, and an eidetic memory, and psychic visions. Jules is now pretty sure that Shawn covers up some of his deductions using his visions- he’s known enough impossible information that they can’t possibly all be deductions in disguise, but when she thinks back there’s a few times where it’s obvious in hindsight he used his abilities to cover up the fact that he’s an incredible, highly-trained detective.

Maybe she’s jumping to a conclusion, but she finds herself thinking ‘Because Henry made him hate that he can do it so well,’ as she pieces it all together.

Gus’s journals lend a lot of credit to that theory. Shawn is smart, and Gus knows it, but Shawn acts dumb sometimes and Gus doesn’t understand why, and then Gus mentions that it’s weird that Henry kept Shawn up all night before to stakeout their porch and now Shawn is tired during Little League and Henry tells him to get his head in the game because Henry is the coach.

Henry is the coach, Henry is the chaperone on the field trip, Henry is their Scout Master- he’s in charge of every part of Shawn’s life except for school. And Maddie is rarely brought up, even when Gus writes about spending all day or night or even weekend at the Spencer house. Jules hasn’t seen Shawn’s Mom since Yang almost blew her up, and she just figured that Maddie wanted to stay out of Santa Barbara after that, understandably. She’s getting a different feeling about Maddie staying away now. It seems a lack of presence was her main impression in Shawn’s life, or at least, Shawn’s life through the lens of Child Gus.

So it was basically just Henry. And her heart aches for the thought of someone being stuck in a bad marriage, basically raising a kid alone, and that kid being as hyper and curious and chaotic as Shawn. But the ache is smothered in the sense of righteous rage when she reads other entries about things like a girl throwing a ball at Shawn and missing, and an ostrich choking on the ball, and Henry dragging Shawn away. The entry goes on to say that Shawn told Gus that Henry didn’t believe him when he said he didn’t do it, even after then-superior officer Captain Connors came in and tried to vouch for Shawn.

Henry always assumed the worst. Assumes, the worst, still.

Shawn tries so hard, sometimes, with his dad, and Jules is starting to realize that Henry doesn’t put the same effort in. He tries some, she knows it, she’s seen it, but she also sees him constantly berate, put down, and insult Shawn, publicly and privately.

Suddenly she remembers something from when Shawn went undercover on the dating show, something she’d been too upset over about Shawn being there at all to really take in in the moment.

“I’m sorry, this woman is way too good for my son. If it was me, I’d vote no.”

She doesn’t have Shawn’s memory, so without rewatching the clip she can’t be totally sure those are Henry’s exact words, but she’s certain that it’s the exact sentiment.

First of all, she takes a little offense to that for herself. But secondly and more strongly, she takes offense for Shawn. As she thinks about it she can remember the way Shawn tried to cover up the awkwardness in the clip, the way the girl on the show whispered “Is this a joke?” and the way it absolutely was not. The way Henry said that on TV, to Shawn’s face, with no hint of shame.

“O’Hara.” She looks up to see Lassiter holding a cup of coffee and a bagel for her. She takes them and Lassiter says, “There’s more steam coming out of your ears than there is that cup.”

“Sorry,” she sighs. “I just… I don’t know if I can control myself tomorrow when Henry comes back in. The more I dig into this, the more I want to just- go back in time and pick little Shawn up and take him somewhere better.”

“Well as much as we don’t like it, O’Hara, Spencer is who he is because he was raised the way he was raised.”

“I know. And I like, who Shawn is!”

“Inexplicably.”

“Carlton.”

“Mmm.”

“Anyway… I love Shawn, and who he is, all of him, but I still wish he could’ve been who he is without going through all of this. It’s not okay.”

“No. No, it’s not.” Lassiter sighs. “Look, O’Hara, put the case down for a while. At this point we’ve got enough to at least make The Chief doubt some of Henry’s intentions and judgements when it comes to Spencer and, well, that was the goal.”

“... Yeah. Yes, okay, I will… I will put this down for a few days.” Jules closes up the file and puts it back into her drawer. “Shawn is still less than happy I’m working on this, anyway. He understands why, but I know he wishes he didn’t.” He probably understands a lot of things he wishes he didn’t. Jules has had to grapple with the realization that she actually doesn’t know as much about how Shawn’s mind works as she thought she knew, and that it’s possible she’ll never know a lot of it. There’s more than just psychic visions to the mystery of his mind, and some of those mysteries are locked up with a key cast out of self-resentments and resentments of his dad.

God, she hopes she can keep up a poker face when Henry comes in.

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her file is missing from her desk the next day, and so is Lassiter’s. They both know why.

They march over to Henry’s desk just as Gus comes in to collect a check, and all three end up standing over Henry as he openly and unashamedly reads through the Spencer Upbringing Case File. Gus takes a step back when he realizes that’s what’s happening, as does Lassiter.

But not because of Henry.

Jules looks murderous.

Henry purses his mouth in a frown and nods, raising up the file and then closing it and tossing it onto his desk in one smooth movement. “It’s comprehensive,” he says, like he’s grading a paper. “But it’s a bunch of biased bull.”

“Give them back.” Jule’s voice is ice-cold.

Henry shrugs, moving his head side to side for a second, still frowning, and then says, “Nah.” He takes the files, and drops them in the trash. “I think you owe me an explanation for why the head detective and his partner are investigating the way I raised my son. Why’d Shawn put you up to this?”

“He didn’t.”

Henry scoffs. “Yeah, right.”

Jules slams one hand onto Henry’s desk. The whole bullpen goes quiet.

“I was helping Shawn get something from your house, and I found a notebook,” she says.

“Oh, so, you found one of Shawn’s little projects where he exaggerated things to make himself look like a victim of the world?”

“I found the writings of a little kid who didn’t seem to realize at the time of writing that being locked in a hot car trunk and digging through broken glass for Easter Eggs wasn’t normal.”

Henry laughs, crossing his arms. “That’s what you have a problem with? It’s called training, detective. You went through it yourself.”

“When I was an adult, by my choice, and I sure as hell never had to dig through glass.”

“You’re really hung up on that.”

“Because it’s genuinely evil!”

Henry’s smug look melts into a scowl. “How dare you.”

“How dare I?! Do you understand how much all of this is still affecting Shawn, even right now?! He can barely talk about all of this!” “Oh, well, he sure seem capable of reminding me of it.”

“Because you did it! You’re the only other person in the entire world who understood what was done to him in the name of training because you did it!”

“Done to h- you’re overreacting, detective!”

“I, agree, what is going on out here?” Chief Vick hurries over to Henry’s desk from her own. “Detectives, there had better be a damn good reason-”

“There is, Chief.” Lassiter reaches into the trashcan and pulls out the files.

“Karen, Detective O’Hara has allowed her romantic entanglement with my son to-”

“Henry was borderline abusive during Shawn’s childhood,” Jules interrupts, facing her Chief. Chief Vick’s eyes widen and her mouth drops open, a disbelieving laugh escaping her even as she accepts the files and flips them open. “You understand what it is you’re alleging, O’Hara, and against who?”

“I do, Chief, and I think our case file speaks for itself.” All eyes are on them now. Jules doesn’t back down. “I’m well aware of my emotional ties to this case, but I assure you I’m not allowing it to cloud my judgment. If I was, I wouldn’t have used the word borderline to describe the conclusions I’ve come to.”

“Karen, this is ridiculous.”

But Chief Vick is focused on the files in her hands. Her eyes flick up to Henry. “Is it?” She looks over to Gus, who’s been watching with the quiet tension of a prey animal waiting to make a run for it. “Mister Guster, can you genuinely testify to the validity and accuracy of the claims in these files?”

“Oh, um, well, most of those are from my own journals.” Gus’s eyes flick between Henry and Jules. “I’d say that’s even more reliable than just plain memory.”

“It certainly is.” Chief Vick turns her eyes back to the file. “Henry, I think after I’m done going through these we’re going to have a chat about some of your current responsibilities and extent of authority over consultants.”

“Oh, come on, Karen!” Henry looks around at the entire precinct staring, and judging. “This is completely unfounded, and-and blown way out of propor-!”

Henry doesn’t finish the sentence because Juliet O’Hara punches him in the nose.

There’s gasps from everyone in the room. Jules’s fist is bloodied. Henry’s nose went CRUNCH! when her fist made contact.For a long moment it’s like the whole room has collectively stopped breathing.

“I don’t make unfounded accusations, Henry,” Jules breathes. “Especially not when I have been building a case for over a month, and have watched Shawn completely close off whenever I asked him about this.”

Henry holds his nose, looking at Jules with fear that Lassiter and Gus don’t think is nearly intense enough. “Juliet,” Henry pants, blood streaming out from between his fingers. “This is insane.”

“Quiet, Spencer.” Lassiter moves Jules a little farther away. Her fist is still raised. “I won’t tolerate you disrespecting my partner, especially not in the same way you do your son.”

“What?! You can’t believe all this too, Lassiter.”

“You know I’m not Shawn’s biggest fan, but if you think what O’Hara has done over the last month is anything less than the best damn investigation possible then I have to seriously reconsider some of our shared opinions of your son’s work.”

Gus glances at a box of tissues on Henry’s desk- and then subtly moves to knock them on the floor and kicks them away.

“Herny, I’m going to have to ask you to step away from the precinct for a few days while this gets handled. O’Hara, I’m going to need to speak with you in my office.”

Jules lowers her fist, and nods. She knows she can’t just punch Henry and get away with it scot-free, and she accepts that.

No-one moves to help Henry. Not a single soul. He grumbles as he makes his way past Gus to grab a different box of tissues.

“It’s like he just sucks the respect out of people,” Henry grumbles.

CRACK!

No-one is more surprised than Gus when his fist slams into Henry’s jaw. Gus reels away immediately, shrinking and cradling his hand, as Henry goes down.

“Mister Guster!” Chief Vick moves forward to try and catch Henry.

“Uuuuh!” Guss whines, shaking his hand. “I-I mean, you don’t get to say that about Shawn! He asked us not to keep doing this! You gotta stop assuming the worst of him all the time!”

“When he earns it!” Henry barks out, then groans and spits. It’s mostly blood.

“You won’t let him earn it!” Jules is furious again. “How many killers does he have to catch for you to see that your son is an amazing man?!”

“It’s not about catching killers,” Henry says, spitting again. “It’s about growing up.”

“Says the grown man who can’t even tell his son ‘I love you’.”

“He doesn’t say it either.”

“That’s not helping your case, Spencer.” Lassiter has his eyes on Jules and Gus. “And considering I’m the only one on said case who hasn’t taken a shot at you yet, I’d say keep your mouth shut.”

“Oh, what do you know.” Henry spits a third time. The Chief looks about ready to punch him herself. “Father-son relationships are complicated, especially when the father wants what’s best for the son and the son just wants to throw everything away and get himself killed!”

“You wanted him to be a cop, Spencer, you didn’t exactly put him on a path to a peaceful and easy life.”

“I put him on the right path, and he never appreciated it, and that is what your case file should say!”

“You know what, Spencer?” Lassiter takes a step closer to the bleeding man. “I’ve put up with a lot of crap from both you and your son over the years, and you two are a lot more similar than you think. But one thing I can say that Shawn has over you is that he doesn’t mean it when he says stupid crap like that.”

“He looks up to you, you ass,” Jules adds. “And he is willing to put aside all of the things you say and do to him to have a good relationship with you. Do you understand how incredible that is? That you don’t even have to work to have him in your life? That he comes to you no matter how many times you tear into him for it?”

“He comes to me because he never listens when he needs to.” Henry’s face is starting to become very purple as the bruises set in. “I don’t know what he’s been telling you, but he needs, my help.”

“Exactly! And he feels like you’re reliable enough to give it to him, and you do! So why do you treat that as though it’s a fault? Do you have any idea what I would have given as a kid, and even now, to be able to just-just go up to my dad and say ‘I need help,’ and have him be there to help me? That means the world!”

“Not to Shawn.” Henry looks pained beyond just the broken nose and possible broken jaw. “The kid is too focused on himself.”

“You don’t know your son at all, then.” Jules turns and walks with The Chief to her office.

Gus shakes his head, grabs the check out of Henry’s paperwork pile, checks that it’s signed, and leaves.

“Oh, really? It’s up to me to take him to the hospital?” Lassiter looks around and then huffs. “Alright, Spencer. Don’t bleed on my seats, or my dashboard, or anything but yourself.”

“I’m not a bad father,” Henry says, still holding his nose. “I care about my son.”

“Yeah, and somehow Shawn knows that even though you act the way you do.” Lassie buckles Henry in for him so that the nose remains pinched. “But here’s the thing, Spencer. Your son is an arrogant, attention-hogging, impulsive, completely absurd person, and he didn’t just become like that out of a vacuum.”

“Yes he did. I did everything I could. I did everything right as much as possible.”

Lassiter sighs as he gets into the driver’s seat. “You seriously think that? You’d be okay with your grandkid being raised that way?”

“If they had Shawn’s potential, yes.”

“... Dammit.” Lassiter turns to Henry, and punches him in the gut. Henry coughs, and then chokes on his own blood, and then coughs again.

“What the hell?!” Henry gets out between hacks.

“O’Hara would’ve done it. I feel like I owed it to her. … And honestly, Spencer, after compiling that damn case, I’ve been wanting to do it for myself anyway. I already knew you were an overbearing perfectionist with a control issue, but you wishing your son was more like that than he is is even worse.”

“Shawn’s no perfectionist,” Henry wheezes.

“But he is overbearing with a control issue more often than not. Like I said inside, you two are a lot more similar than you think, and frankly I blame you for the parts of Shawn that go past mild annoyance and into infuriating obstacle.”

“I’d never just hand a collar over to save someone’s ego,” Henry coughs out.

“See, that’s where I wish Shawn wasn’t like you.”

“He’s handed you a collar twice.”

“What? He has not.”

And Henry must be a little delirious from the repeated blows, because Lassiter is pretty sure his next words of “See, this is why Shawn should’ve been head detective,” wouldn’t come out of him otherwise.

Lassiter grips the steering wheel tighter and makes a sharp turn into the hospital parking lot. “Well he’s not, and from the sound of things he never would’ve been anyway.”

“He could’ve been a perfect cop.”

“He’d have been miserable and you know it.”

“He’d be doing things right.”

“You’re hopeless.” Lassiter isn’t any gentler helping Henry out of the car than he was helping him in. “I’m not picking you back up when they’re done with you.”

“I’ll call Shawn.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you will.” And Shawn will come, and probably be mad on his dad’s behalf, and will definitely be mad at all three of the punchers, because he loves his dad enough to overlook years and years of mistreatment that most people would probably consider ground for cutting contact. “And Spencer? If you ever insult O’Hara’s work again, or say anything that gets her that angry, I will help her cover up your disappearance.”

“You don’t mean that,” Henry scoffs.

“Try me.” Lassiter gets back in his car. “And if I hear from her that you’re still badmouthing your son to his face, I’ll make you disappear myself.”

And then he drives away.

And Henry walks into the hospital alone.

103 notes · View notes

thespiritssaidso · 1 month

Text

I Need You (To Shut Me the Fuck Up)

Summary: Shawn knows exactly how to make a certain detective shut up.

Notes: Short and sweet. Wrote this in like, an hour or so. Just thought it was cute and… yeah, here we are.

"Spencer, a word." Not waiting for any sign of approval, Lassiter grabbed the fake psychic by the arm and dragged him to the conference room. He closed the door and started pulling down all of the blinds.

"Oh yeah no problem, Lassie. Thanks for asking so nicely." Shawn joked.

“Cut the crap.” He reached out and grabbed Spencer’s collar in a tight fist. “Why the hell do you keep telling people I wanted snow globes?”

“Is that what all this is about? Lassie!” He had the audacity to laugh. “That was just my joke gift!”

He sputtered “Oh, so this is funny to you? It’s a joke?”

“Calm down! I promise you, your actual gift is a lot better.”

“I’m not sure I even want to guess what kind of horrible gift you’ve dreamed up for me-” and suddenly Spencer's lips were on his, effectively shutting him up.

His mind went blissfully empty for the first time in... gosh, it must have been years. He pushes against Shawn, deepening the kiss. Spencer gladly returned the favor. Lassiter pushed his tongue up to his lips, and felt as the other did the same.

Spencer roughly grabbed a fistful of Lassiter's hair, pulling him closer. The detective picked him up by the hips, effectively having Spencer stradle him, and unceremoniously dropped him on the table, not once breaking contact.

Lassiter started to mindlessly squeeze Spencer's thighs with one hand and holding the small of his back with the other as Shawn continued to thread his finger's through his hair, pulling and massaging it methodically.

And then as soon as it had started, it was over. Shawn — when did he start calling him that? — pulled away, a satisfied grin on his face.

“Merry Christmas, Lassie.” Without another word, he slipped off of the table and left the conference room.

Lassiter put a hand to his lips, vaguely hearing him going up to Guster and O'Hara and asking them, "What did I miss?"

————

"What was that all about, Shawn?" Juliet asked, leaning forward in her seat at her desk.

"Oh, Lassie was just angry about something. I'm sure he's feeling better now." He said with a sly grin.

She was more confused now, but Gus started to catch on. "Don't tell me you-"

The conference room door opened not with a bang, but not exactly quietly either. Lassiter emerged looking extremely unkempt, hair mussed up and shirt untucked. "Don't think our conversation is over, Spencer."

"Alright Lassiekins, just let me know when you're up for round two."

Lassiter turned a deep crimson before power walking away to his desk.

——————

yeah uh. yeah. first time writing something like this, in case you guys couldn't tell lololol.

ao3 link

Based on this conversation in the discord with @lassie-face and @starfish-spencer

#shawn spencer #carlton lassiter #shassie #burton guster #juliet o'hara #psych #psych 2006 #psych usa #psychusa #psych tv #psych tv show #psych show #psych fanfiction #psych fic #psych fanfic #toast tries to write

43 notes · View notes

doodle-do-wop · 7 months

Note

Kesler and Juline where cannonly childhood lovers, I think Juline had a temper and a hard time controlling her ability, and that Kesler was her alchemy tutor and wears dorky glasses similar to Milo Thatch.

Do you have any Kesline headcannons thoughts anything at all

I’m working on a kesline teen fic and you have posted about them like three times in the last month which is more than most people do, yes there is a slight possibility of any of your head cannons ending up in the fic if they fit

Hi ya!

I have so so many headcanons

Elves show affection with loved ones (best friends, family, lovers, etc) by pressing foreheads together. The longer it lasts, the deeper the affections are.

Friends and family will do it for about the same duration as a normal hug

Lovers and friendships that are beyond love will obviously last longer.

Also I love childhood lover trope and that is canon now, Shannon is wrong. They were childhood lovers. Juline nearly failed her mid-term so badly due to her somewhat newly manifested Froster abilities being affected by her emotions making the beakers freeze over. It was a whole thing.

Kesler and Juline had known each other for years, like years!

Kesler fell first, Juline phased through the entire planet falling for him

Juline has had a fascination with human stuff for ages. Kesler just thinks it's funky but if Juline's blabbering about floppy disks he doesn't care what a 'computer' is, she's talking and he's listening.

Juline has constantly cold hands, Kesler holds them to keep her warm

Kesler likes baking, its like alchemy but you can add as many tart berries as you want, say less

Eda makes awesome pastries, Juline makes...interesting soups

will you survive? Will you need an elixir? Is it moving or is it just the smoke giving you hallucinations?

Jokes aside, Juline likes making soups that dont look appealing but taste amazing

its a prank and a good meal

They like to dance occasionally to some of their favorites (human music included) and will drag the kids into mini dance parties (this does mean Dex can dance, i eat canon for breakfast)

(once again ignoring canon) Kesler has slightly more rounded ears than most elves, Juline's are pretty pointed

they've cried over Gnomeo and Juliette (they're just like them fr)

Juline used to be shorter up until their third year of Foxfire, the girl shot up like a goblin i swear

Like how Dex shot up in Nightfal (i think) Juline was just tall

Random Juline and Kesler Firefox hc under cut, I was too proud of them to let them stay in the drafts shelf

Juline

peak annoying little sister

youngest of three

her and Eda are the only ones who kept in touch

their eldest sibling has always been distant so there was never really a connection between Juline and them

her and Eda shared a room up until their second level of Foxfire, they were just that attached to the hip

neither of her parents are Frosters, her mom is a Conjure like Eda but her dad is a Guster

Eda is older by just two years meaning she manifested first with Juline buzzing to manifest next, hoping to either be like Eda or a Guster, maybe even a Hydrokenic or maybe one of her great great grand somethings will do her a solid and-

she manifested as a Froster

she was not happy about it

kept freezing everything, left little frosty footprints everywhere, brought the room temperature down constantly no matter how wrapped up in cloaks and tunics she was

tying this into your headcanon of Kesler being her Alchemy tutor, Juline nearly flunked her alchemy midterm, scraping by the skin of her teeth

she had been docked major points for frosting some of her tools and even putting out the fire she needed multiple times due to nerves

Now onto Kesler

- as the youngest of his family, Kesler has at least three people telling him what to do at all times

- and none of them could agree

- he and his siblings were born more or less close in age (if you count close as 4-8 years)

- his youngest older sister was in Foxfire along with Kesler which means whenever Kesler had any trouble in class she was right there to both brag, and help (it was her job to be both unhelpful and very helpful, it's sibling law)

- Kesler got his love and knack for Alchemy from his grandfather who wasn't too shabby himself but Kesler was a natural

- he loves his siblings but hanging out with his grandfather doing random alchemy experiments was just their thing

- Kesler was terrible with Elementalism so much so his sister would occasionally take the long route to her classes to check on him in the Healing Room

- you could tell if Kesler Dizznee was within twenty feet of you if you could hear the tell tale sound of glass rattling in a bag

- he was in the same class year as Juline (I ignore canon) so when Juline Dizznee needed a tutor guess who was signed up as the sacrificial lamb

#asked and answered #kotlc ask #kotlc juline #kotlc kesler #kesler dizznee #juline dizznee #i love background characters more than main characters #Kesler though Taylor Swift was an elf #They have seen LOTR #Did not watch the hobbit though #Juline knows who Shakira is #Sophie lost her mind when she found out #this is so long #kotlc

21 notes · View notes

quietborderline · 2 months

Text

Tagged by @whimsyswastry, who knows too well how to drag me out of hibernation LMAO. Thank you! My favorite type of game. <3

I tag EVERY PERSON WHO SEES THIS POST! No pressure, of course, but please tag me if you do it cause I want to see your song list!

Rules -> Find the 'On Repeat' Spotify personalized playlist, shuffle and share the first 10 songs!

#tag games #qb song recs #<333 #thank you!

3 notes · View notes

humblemediagenius · 11 months

Note

what is guster

Guster is an American alt rock band from the east coast thats been dropping absolute banger music since the 90s!!

Their most well known song is Satellite from their album Ganging Up On The Sun (2006) but have a couple others that got popular enough when they came out (I think Amsterdam from Keep It Together (2003) (which is also my favorite song of all time ever forever) got pretty popular on the radio). Their last album (Look Alive) came out in 2019 but I hope they release something new please please pl

I'm obsessed with their music. I may or may not have an animatic in the works to one of their songs. and also I met the band members once (they're pretty chill!)

also they're LGBTQ friendly! they're on tour right now and in Florida the lead singer performed in drag to combat that shithole of a governor over there

#seaspeak #please listen to guster I will reccomend specific stuff im spreading propaganda yaaay #ask

3 notes · View notes

sunset-a-story · 1 year

Text

Character Songs tag

Thanks to @words-after-midnight for tagging me in this!

No pressure tagging: @lettiekorywrites, @writerrelapse, and @scribe-of-stories (maybe for S.J.?)

Rules: Choose one of your characters and list songs that fit them.

I had to go with our boy Reeve: the ridiculous telepath I love so much but who makes it too damn easy to drag him. I picked an even dozen songs.

Morton's Fork - Typhoon (basically the Reeve anthem) Sleep Awake - Mother Mother Satellite - Guster The World Ender - Lord Huron Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths Ghost Towns - Radical Face Dust Bowl III - Other Lives Run Boy Run - Woodkid The Betrayer - Kaki King Horizons into Battlegrounds - Woodkid Dreams of Cannibalism - Typhoon Control - Poe

Artwork is by my partner/co-writer and is a screenshot from an animation they did.

#writer tag game #music tag #character music #writeblr tag games #my oc stuff #oc playlist

5 notes · View notes

rayniscatstatue · 1 year

Text

Criminal Children

Dawn, Charri and Adalin sage introduction

Tags: @oraliefathdon4eternalia @literaturewithliz

Characters: Dawn Redek, Charri Aestra and Adalin Bellara

Summary: The three friends sneaking into Foxfire after hours together. They find out about the og 5’s banishment while doing so. We get to see their personas and a little insight into their lives:

————————————————————————

"It's not that dangerous." Dawn whispers to her worried friend. "Stop bitting your nails, Charri." Dawn pulls her friend's hand back.

"How do you feel about breaking the rules. What if the council finds out?" Charri turns to start pacing but the brunette boy beside her stops her.

"Charri, just breath." Adalin grabs her shoulders.

"Like you know anything about being like me, Adalin Bellara! Your a perfect telepath with the best ability. I'm just some guster girl!" Charri pushes him back.

“Your not just some girl!” Adalin argues back, clear on his face that he doesn’t want Charri talking bad about herself.

"Let's just go." Dawn grabs their arms as she drags them towards the building. Problem is, Charri is the only one that knows how to pick a lock and get in.

"At least check the place for thoughts." Charri twists her ginger hair around her finger.

"Was going to anyways!" Adalin argues.

"Both of you shut up or we will get caught." Dawn whisper shouts.

Silence surrounds the friends as Charri pulls out her hair pin. Starting on the lock as Dawn flashes light to help her see.

*Thanks." Charri whispers as she jams the hairpin in the lock. Slamming her body against the door.

The door swings open to the Foxfire amphitheater. Posters everywhere for clubs and important news.

"Let's go!" Adalin pounds his fist in the air as the three friends walk in. The high ceilings above them. Dawn quickly turns to close the door, lowering suspicion.

"Wanna look at the news." Charri says as she makes her way over to the pin up board. "Light." She snaps her fingers in Dawn's face.

"Right." Dawn lights up the pin up board as the three surround it. Curious faces.

Sophie Foster, Fitz Vacker, Biana Vacker, Keefe Sencen and Dex Dizznne banished from the lost cities.

The actions that caused this are disclosed for family safety and their own. Their actions are irreversible.

“That can’t be right, Dex and Sophie are Dawn’s cousin’s best friends.” Adalin mutters, snapping Charri and Dawn out if their trances.

“Marella surly wouldn’t become friends with these horrible people.�� Dawn stars to ball her hands into fists.

“Dawn, keep calm.” Charri pulls her best friend into a hug, wrapping her wraps around her. Dawn’s tears running down her face, into Charri’s tunic. Dawn twists her fingers into a not in the back of Charri’s tunic.

The light goes out as Adalin keeps squinting at the posters. Mumbled cried coming from Dawn and small whispers of encouragement from Charri.

“Let’s just keep exploring.” Dawn pulls back from Charri. Her blonde hair tumbling down her shoulders. Tears streaked in Charri’s ginger hair.

“Agreed.” Charri and Adalin say at the same time.

“Time to go have some fun!” Dawn garbs their wrists as she starts to drag them down the hall. The three ready for an adventure.

#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc fanfic #dawn charri and adalin saga #dawn charri and adalin fanfic #kotlc foxfire

4 notes · View notes

justsomerandomfanfic · 1 year

Text

Psych: A Fanfic

Title: Psych: A Fanfic

(I made this for fun around a year ago)

Characters: The cast of Psych

WC: 1,596

Warnings: Mentions of kidnapping, cops, teasing, Shawn being himself, mentions of death, slight Shassie (but that's just me), angry Lassie, Vick is annoyed as always :), mentions of drugs, Psych references, and ... tacos

Walking into the Santa Barbara Police Department, Shawn, and Gus looked around at all the buzzing cops, detectives, and other employees.

"Must be rush hour," Shawn spoke up, sipping his pineapple smoothie.

Gus shuffled in his spot, looking around, seemingly surprised, "Must be."

"Mr. Spencer, Mr. Guster." Chief Vick called, gaining the two men's attention. "My office, now, please." She finished, before shutting her door.

Shawn and Gus glanced at each other before heading into Chief Vick's office. Shutting the door behind him, Shawn looked around the room, seeing Juliet in one chair and Lassiter in the other; while Chief Vick sat in her chair behind her desk.

"Good, now. I have a case for all four of you. This one will involve a lot of teamwork." Chief Vick began, opening a file on her desk.

Shawn immediately spoke up, "Oh, come on, Chief. Don't tell me we're going to be doing another Scooby Doo thing?" He asked, "Last time I was sure Lassie was morphing into a dog."

Lassiter slowly looked up at Shawn. If looks could kill, Shawn would've been dead in 2006.

Chief Vick shook her head, "No, Mr. Spencer. This one is a bit more high-profile."

"Ooh, are we going up against the Illuminati?" Shawn asked, sipping his smoothie. "Gus has been practicing his Kung-Fu."

"No, Mr. Spencer." She growled lightly, looking up from the folder to glare up at Shawn. "The mayor's daughter has been kidnapped and we have no idea where she is. Now, if you have nothing to pertain with the case... Please, sit down."

Shawn tossed his hands in the air as he gestured wordlessly around the room. Shawn looked around the room, his eyes zoning in on Lassiter. Strutting over, Shawn plopped right down on Lassiter's lap, taking another annoying slow sip of his smoothie.

"Mr. Spencer. Lassiter is not a chair." Vick scolded, only for Shawn to shake his head.

"Chief, I can't sit on Jules's lap. Much too soft." Juliet gave Shawn a face. "And Gus's... Too hard, it's like sitting on rocks. It's terrible." Shawn then let out a happy sigh, rubbing his hand down across Lassiter's face. "But Lassie's lap? Just right. Like two fluffy clouds... Or cats. Made just for me. Or made out of cotton candy." He mumbled the last part.

"What are you? Goldy Locks? Get off of me, Spencer." Lassiter angrily exclaimed, and Shawn groaned slightly, before pushing off his lap.

"Fine. I'll just suffer and stand." Shawn sighed, leaning against the wall, Gus giving him a weird side glance. "Please, Chief, continue."

Vick let out a long, annoyed sigh before getting back to the folder. "Alright, she was last seen on the seventh in the town square. She had missed an appointment at a hair salon at two, and the street and store cameras spotted her being dragged into an alley. We checked there, but whoever did it was very thorough. There was no evidence, no hair, or anything."

"What's daddy know?" Shawn asked, and Vick sputtered, looking up at him.

"The Mayor said that his daughter didn't tell him where she was going. Just that she was going out for the day."

Shawn pursed his lips, "Boyfriend?" He quickly pushed off the wall, "Wait! No. Angry ex-boyfriend. Maybe she broke up with him and he just couldn't let go."

"Half right, Spencer. She has a boyfriend, but no angry ex. You're losing your touch." Lassiter taunted only for Shawn to shake his head.

"No, Lassie. The spirits are napping." He quickly corrected, earning a look from everyone in the room.

Shawn crossed his arms over his chest, "Hey, what do you expect? Spirits don't give two pineapple smoothies about my life. All they care about is bringing justice to this world, which is why I'm here, to help find this girl." Shawn turned to face Chief Vick, "So, where is the boyfriend?"

Shawn leaned close to Gus, "Speaking of, I just finished mine... And yours. Might need to get Buzz to grab some when we get back."

Gus looked at his friend upset, "Shawn!"

"According to her father, he went out of town for business." Chief Vick answered, glancing over at Lassiter.

"We tried contacting him but were unable to." Lassiter finished.

Shawn scoffed, "Yeah right. What kind of business?" He started to pace, "I bet it's drugs."

"That's highly unlikely, Shawn." Juliet finally spoke up, and Shawn sighed dramatically, turning to face her, "We did a background check. The boyfriend's clean."

Raising his hand to his temple, Shawn closed his eyes. "But the Mayor got the ransom note. seventy-five thousand dollars right?"

Vick nodded, "Yes, Mr. spencer." She said, secretly impressed.

Shawn tossed his empty smoothie cup into Vick's trash, before sighing and looking at each member of the room. "Well, Gus and I are going to check the square. See if my psychic juice picks up on anything."

"Juice?" Juliet softly asked herself, majorly confused.

Grabbing Gus's arm, Shawn dragged him out of the office waiting for the doors to shut before they began walking to the blueberry.

"Shawn! Where are we going?" Gus asked as he got into the passenger seat.

"We, my dear friend, are going to find the Mayor's daughter, Claire."

"Wait, you know her name?"

"Shawn? How do you know her name?

"Shawn!?"

~~~

Pulling up to the square, Shawn parked the car, both him and Gus getting out and looking around. Pausing, Shawn spotted the hair salon, noticing the alley just a little ways away from it.

"Gus, I found the alley." He turned to Gus, who actually never got out of the car in the first place.

"Good. You go look." Gus spoke, shutting his eyes as he leaned the seat back a bit.

"Guuuussss, we are a team. We need to do this together." Shawn whined, going over to the passenger side window that was slightly ajar.

"Shawn, I am not going into that dark creepy alleyway with you."

Shawn laughed lightly, "Dude, it's just an alleyway."

"Yeah, just an alleyway where the Mayor's daughter was pulled into. I saw the video. I am not going in. Besides, I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Mmm, the zombie one. It was the zombies, right? Was Curt Smith there?"

"Shawn!"

"Finnne, I'll go myself. Don't get your brain eaten while I'm gone." Shawn teased, slowly walking off.

Peaking an eye open, Gus fidgeted slightly in his seat, "You can't be serious..." Opening the car door, Gus rushed out, slamming the door shut as he caught up with Shawn.

"Gus! I knew you'd change your mind!" Shawn cheered, wrapping his arm around his best buddy's shoulder only for Gus to push his arm off.

"It was nothing you said, Shawn. My leg was beginning to cramp." Gus lied and Shawn just smirked making it to the alleyway.

The two peered into the somewhat dark alleyway. There was nothing much back there except an ain't trash bin and some trash.

"Gus? You see something?" Shawn asked, holding his palms up.

"Nope." Gus replied, shaking his head. "Nothing here. Just like the Chief said. Let's go."

Shawn furrowed his brow, "I thought I felt it. A presence. Something evil. Like a ghost, maybe?"

"Ghosts aren't real, Shawn." Gus stated, crossing his arms over his chest.

"They are in my world." Shawn continued, stepping forward deeper into the alley. "Let's look around."

Gus nodded, "Yeah, you do that."

Shawn rolled his eyes, stepping deeper into the alley. Looking around, Shawn spotted a few grocery bags, including a red and white one. He picked it up, feeling its weight. It felt heavy.

Opening it, Shawn sighed, "Gus!"

"What, Shawn? What did you find?"

"What type of person throws away a Bluetooth speaker? I'm taking this home with me!"

"Whatever, Shawn! Just hurry up!" Gus called back, only for Shawn to turn to the ain't trash bin.

Walking over, Shawn smiled in victory. Looking around, he grabbed an empty grocery bag and scooped the item up, being careful to not touch it. Looking once more, Shawn looked at the far back of the alley, noticing the chain gate. The lock on the chain was missing. Satisfied, Shawn walked back with his two bags, and back to a very confused, yet curious Gus.

"What's in the second bag?" He asked the psychic, only for Shawn to open the bag.

"A high heel? Shawn, that could be anyone's heels." Gus commented, but Shawn shook his head.

"Nope, if you paid attention to the tape, Gus, you would've seen that she was wearing these pink stilettos. Why she was doing that to her feet, I have no idea. Do you see how high these are?"

"Shawn. We need to take this back to the Chief, or call Lassiter."

Shawn sighed, a dreamy look appearing on his face. "Mmm, Lassie..." Snapping out of it, Shawn shook his head. "Gus, we're not giving it to the Chief. I'm going to put it back and then lead Lassie and Jules right to it with my psychic abilities."

Gus narrowed his eyebrows, "Shawn, there are cameras, remember?"

Shawn nodded, "Yes, but I know I am just out of it's sight... Reach... Blindspot Thing. But, you aren't."

Gus huffed, "So I look like an idiot?"

"A loony." Shawn answered matter factly.

Gus sighed, "Great. Fine, hurry and put it back so we can get Lassiter down here."

"Oh! Gus! Look!" Shawn pointed with a free hand. "There's tacos. I'm craving chimichangas."

Gus shooed Shawn back into the alley. "Okay, heel then taco then Lassiter."

#psych #psych tv #shawn spencer #burton guster #carlton lassiter #juliet o'hara #chief vick #fanfics #fanfic #fanfiction #chapter 1 #pineapples #pineapple

5 notes · View notes

gusterindrag · 1 year

Text

youtube

"Love for Me" pairs well with Vanessa "Vanjie" Mateo

Bonus Vanjie appreciation:

youtube

Bonus Bonus Vanjie appreciation:

youtube

#drag race #vanessa vanjie mateo #miss vanjie #guster #guster in drag #Youtube

3 notes · View notes

wondernwriter · 1 year

Text

Yass

#lgbtq positivity #lgbt representation #lgbtq community #trans pride #transgender #bookbans #book banning #anti drag bill #musicians #rock bands #gender #drag queen

0 notes

obsidiancreates · 1 year

Text

Guilty Filthy Soul

It really hadn't been as life-changing as one might think when they discovered magic was real, because it wasn't really real in the way that made it particularly life-changing.

No-one can shoot fireballs out of their hands or summon demons or things like that. Most spells really affect behavior, outlook, but can't usually force someone into doing something they wouldn't ever do on their own.

Which is the real issue here, really.

Because a curse to "abandon your boxes and follow the call of your soul" is shockingly disastrous.

Not if you're Lassie and Jules, of course. Apparently they're doing exactly what their soul's calling is anyway. Lucky bastards.

But if you're Burton Guster, it means you found yourself calling your boss from a crime scene to quit your high paying day job and become a full-time tap dancer and teacher.

If you're Shawn Spencer-

Well, that one's a little harder to pin down at first.

"Sorry Chief," Shawn had sighed the next week when they were called in to consult on the case of a recently stolen sports car from the mayor's own garage. "The curse is... blocking the spirits. In truth, I um, haven't been able to receive any messages lately... except for one related to murder."

"Oh, come on." Lassie had scowled. "You really expect us to believe your soul's whole purpose-"

"Calling, not purpose. Totally different things, Lassie. My purpose is to have great hair, and give men and women alike something to oogle at in situations where it's usually frowned on."

"Right." Lassie hadn't been amused. "Anyway, you expect us to believe that your souls calling... is just to solve murders?"

"Apparently so, Lass-i-frass. I'm just as disappointed as you are, honestly. This means no more Despereaux cases for me when he comes back. I'll miss him."

"Give me a break."

But there were none. Shawn was off any cases that didn't have to do with murder, and Gus was on less than half he salary he had from Central Coast.

And yet, oddly, hadn't been evicted. In fact, his rent had been lowered to just the right amount.

And the Psych office's landlord had just... stopped asking.

And the cases they weren't hired for anymore got weird.

Gus saw it every week in the paper (the online version, but no-one calls it The Screen, because it's The Paper and always will be, just like how NCIS is still NCIS even though none of the original cast are even left anymore).

That theft of the mayor's car? It had been found outside of a house that was being used as a sweatshop, and the people running it had been connected to the mayor through donations to his campaign.

A painting was stolen from the museum and the owner got an incredibly large insurance payout. Three days later his office's safe was broken into, cleaned out, and the painting put in place of the cash along with a pile of papers proving his fraud.

A building downtown had been vandalized with a big "You Suck!" written in block-style letters all across the front entrance. When the cleaners hired to remove it all got to work, they found a weird loose vent under one of the letters. One city inspection later and one of the biggest contractors in the business was shut down for cutting corners on safety and leaving many building completely unsecured and open to easy infiltration, including government buildings.

More and more and more. One crime lead to another, like a little trail of crumbs in the woods.

And so, six months after the curse, six months of weekly heists and vandalisms and bold public drag races later, Gus sat down across from Shawn and finally said it out loud.

"It's you, isn't it?"

"What's me?" Shawn kept tossing his paper ball in the air and catching it, never looking Gus in the eye.

"All of this." Gus holds up his tablet and nods at it, frowning knowingly. "I know your soul's calling isn't murder investigations, and so do you. This is."

"Gus, don't be The Beatles trying to say Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds isn't about LSD."

"I'm not. This is you. I know you, Shawn, this has you written all over it."

"How so?"

"Let's see. How about the store we went to that stopped carrying your favorite brand of hair gel, and the next day the manager reported his office was broken into, but when the cops checked the security tapes all they found was videos of him planting drugs on his employees and then blackmailing them over it?"

"That's just how karma works, Gus, but I'm flattered you think I'm a force of the universe like that." He still wouldn't make eye contact.

And so Gus adjusted himself in his chair and leaned forward. "Okay. How about this? A bunch of drag racers went out in the middle of the day, roaring all down the highway, weaving in and out cars, and one of the plates reported in turned out to be a car registered to a known alias of a man on the run for defrauding a ton of people under the guise of running charities."

"Sounds like he should have been more careful about where he hid his keys."

"And this one about a low-level drug runner trying to claim that a guy with oily hair and patchy stubble took pictures of him having an affair and blackmailed him into becoming a police informant?"

"What?!" Shawn snatched the tablet away. "My stubble is not patchy, it is rugged and-! ... Crap."

"I knew it!" Gus had sprung to his feet. "You are! Oh my god Shawn, I can't believe your soul's calling is being a criminal! No, you know what? I absolutely can! In fact, it explains our entire lives, Shawn!"

"Would you shush!" Shawn had slapped a hand over Gus's mouth. "Yes, okay, yes! Yes, after that lady cursed us I suddenly couldn't control my impulses anymore and just did whatever dumb idea popped into my head! Do you know how many times I've thought 'Wow, it would be so much easier to get this done if I could make them just turn themselves in?' or 'Man, this would be so much more fun if I could steal something from this awful person and get the other guy caught at the same time?' Yes, I am using crimes to catch criminals!"

Gus yanks Shawn's hand off of his mouth. "Don't try to make it sound better, you're one of the most wanted people in the whole city right now!"

"But I'm not!" Shawn throws his hands out. "because I'm way better at this than the lawful thing! Dude, do you know how much easier it is to break into places when you're not worried about leaving a trail? Or how much easier it is to get people to tell you things when you blackmail them? It's not like I've never done this before, it's how I got them to let Chief keep her job!"

"You exposed the affair?!"

"OBVIOUSLY!"

"Who else have you blackmailed?!"

"Your landlord. He's breaking a ton of laws by the way, I'm working on forcing him to clean up all the mold in those places."

"That's why my rent went down?!"

"And why we don't have to pay here anymore. Although this guy is just cheating on his wife... and his other wife. And his third wife. I'm figuring out how to expose him without losing our lease, I did get a sweet amount of cash from that painting thing so-"

"SHAWN!"

"WHAT! Gus, it works! It all works out! I'm still catching bad guys, and I'm profiting way more than we did just solving for the police! And I'm probably preventing a ton of murders doing it this way, anyway."

"Except that when you get caught blackmailing kingpins and double-crossing business execs, I'll be caught in the middle of it!"

"I already planned for that, I always make sure I'm out while you have a good alibi."

"... Wait."

"Hmm."

"Oh... my god. That's why you made those flyers for my tap class."

"Can't be helping me commit grand larceny if you're teaching. sweet. moves, what? Gimme five for that."

"Why are you suddenly so much better at this kind of thing now that I can't be caught with you?!"

"I don't know. I kind of feel like I've been freed from something... like there's an old, grumpy voice in my head that got plucked out and it freed up a lot of thought room. Stealing is so fun, Gus. So is blackmail. And lying! ... How did I not become a criminal way sooner?"

"Technically you always were."

"Oh yeah. ... How did I not totally embrace it sooner? Maybe I should ask Pierre what he's doing next month. There's a guy at the museum right now who's trying to get my plaque removed from the dinosaur exhibit and I know he's been slowly replacing some of the lesser known pieces with forgeries, I totally saw him doing it when I stole those guns Lassie liked from the display."

"You did that?! He's gonna kill you, Shawn!"

"Relax, I put them somewhere safe. Oh, that's actually my next one! I'm gonna use them to lead him and Jules to a guy selling stolen guns specifically to frame people."

"Stop telling me about your plans!"

"Oh, yeah. I just made you complicit, didn't I? ... Whoops."

#psych #psychusa #psych usa #psych 2006 #shawn spencer #burton guster #crack fic #fanfic #my attempts at fanfic #criminal shawn spencer

48 notes · View notes