#gotta love american capitalism | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kcrossvine-art · 5 months

Text

Hi friends! Just a day after this years Yule and a few days out from Christmas, regardless of what you celebrate during this winter months, we're gonna be cooking a tangy tango between two traditional english staples-

Yule Plum Pudding and Wassail from Lord of the Rings Online!

(You can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to this Yule Plum Pudding?” YOU MAY ASKPlum Pudding is not a "pudding" as us americans think of it; its closer to a fruitcake but less shit.

Cranberries

White raisins

Macerated prunes (in brandy)

Chopped candied peel

Blanched almonds

All-purpose flour

Cinnamon

Nutmeg

Cloves

Sugar

Breadcrumbs

Lemon zest

Unsalted butter

Eggs

Whole milk

Half a bottle of brandy

It also doesnt contain any capital-P plums! it actually does contain plums im so fucking stupid i never connected the dots that prunes were dried plums oh my god. But they still ued any dried fruit, and "Plum" here is just referring to any dried fruit. And what about the birth of todays wassail?

4 cooking apples

2 pears

Brown sugar

Cinnamon sticks

2 lemons

A bottle of sherry

The other half bottle of brandy

Wassail is very similar to apple cider drank in the fall, with a few differences like the addition of pears and different alcohol source. It was commonly drank while "wassailing" which was a Yuletide predecessor to christmas carolling. People would go door-to-door with a big bowl of wassail, play music, and give well wishes- offering drinks from the wassail in return for small gifts!

AND, “what does Yule Plum Pudding and Wassail taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

The puddings like a fruitcake but if a fruit cake tasted good and wasnt a brick

Its thick and rich, and somehow actually tastes like plum despite that not being intended or making sense

I love the macerated prunes so much. Juicy berries to forage for. Enrichment

The icings reminiscent of buttercream but more savory than sweet

The wassail is like drinking the golden edges off the clouds at sunset

Its got a little bit of the dryness from the sherry that makes your mouth water the moment you stop drinking it

You just want to keep drinking more to sate yourself

Even without eggs its surprisingly full bodied and thick

I had to make a few substitutions from traditional elements due to either being not available or too expensive, but with a little problem-solving nothing was too hard to do.

. Used a bundt cake pan instead of a pudding tin . Suet (animal fat) was historically used for plum pudding. I couldnt find any and used butter instead . Used golden delicious apples when called for . Used concorde pears when called for . Some wassail recipes fold in egg whites before serving, to make the drink creamier. I didnt do this, but if you do, the recommendation to drink it fresh still stands (and strongly)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I gotta admit, I was nervous approaching this recipe. Not only because I didn't own and couldnt find a "pudding tin" without ordering online, or because the concept of steaming a pastry(?) feels foreign and odd, but also because of how old and storied this dish is. You always run into the issue with historical foods who date back to the times where oral history was the only history. The issue of people being combative that their recipe is the only true variant of the recipe, and all the others are mucking the whole thing up.

Its good to remember that like with most dishes, cooking is something that evolved and continues to evolve overtime. Unless someones trying to rewrite history and claim that ants on a log is a creme brule in which case you should run them over with a '98 Pontiac Sunfire.

Theres a few things I'd do differently when cooking again, like chopping the blanched almonds. They were a bit too big when left whole. And adding some amount of heavy cream to the icing? Maybe? To give it a fluffier/milkier feel? But the proces of cooking itself was very straightforward and I have no real complaints or modifications to make. When having leftovers of the pudding it did seem to "mature" and taste better and better the more days i kept it in the fridge, so thats something to keep in mind! But it tastes great a day after all the same.

I give this recipe a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Happy winter everyone! Congrats to another year of staying alive!

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Yule Plum Pudding Ingredients:

16oz cranberries

12oz white raisins

9oz macerated prunes

4oz chopped candied peel (any fruit)

2oz blanched, chopped almonds

4oz all-purpose flour

Measure spices with your heart (cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves)

8oz granulated sugar

8oz fresh white breadcrumbs

lemon zest (one lemon)

4oz grated unsalted butter

4 eggs

8oz whole milk

Pudding Icing Ingredients:

1½oz unsalted butter

1½oz all-purpose flour

10½oz whole milk

3oz granulated sugar

2 tablespoons brandy

Yule Plum Pudding Method:

A week before making, macerate your prunes in brandy.

Mix together all the dried fruit, peel, and almonds. Sieve flour and spices together then add to the fruit mixture along with the sugar, breadcrumbs, rind, and grated butter.

Beat eggs and then blend with 8oz of milk.

Stir the egg/milk mixture to incorporate into the dry ingredients. Add prunes, and stir some more.

Put batter into a well-buttered pudding basin, with parchment paper to cover.

Get a large pot and place a kitchen towel or something similar at the bottom- then place the pudding basin on top of the towel, inside the large pot.

Fill the outer pot with water until it’s halfway up the side, cover the pot with a lid (or foil).

Steam on the stovetop at 210f for 4-6 hours depending on size of pudding basin. If the water gets too low, add a bit more.

After steaming, uncover and allow to cool to room temperature. Do not remove it from the pudding basin! Cover with fresh parchment paper and foil and store in a cool, dry place for at least a day.

(optional) to reheat; steam for 40-80 minutes, until warmed through.

Pudding Icing Method:

Place butter in a medium saucepan with the flour, pour in the milk then whisk everything vigorously together over a medium heat.

As soon as it comes to simmering point and has thickened, turn the heat to its lowest setting, stir in the sugar, and let the sauce cook for 10 minutes.

Add the brandy and stir to mix. Keep warm until required.

Wassail Ingredients:

4 cooking apples

2 pears

Brown sugar

4 Cinammon sticks

2 lemon

1 bottle of Sherry

½ bottle of Brandy

Wassail Method:

Core the apples and pears, leave the rest intact, and set in a baking pan. Fill the hollow centers with brown sugar.

Add about an inch of water to the pan and bake at 350f for 30 minutes, or until the fruit is soft.

Move the fruit to a large pot, add a bottle of sherry, half a bottle of brandy, lemon peel, and 4 large cinnamon sticks. (Feel free to use less booze!)

Bring the pot to a simmer for about 45 minutes, stirring occasionally. Strain before serving!

#cross cooks lotr #dessert #baking recipes #the lord of the rings #digital art

438 notes · View notes

tleeaves · 2 months

Text

Folks going "WHAT they made a show about the Fallout franchise?? I've been hearing people say Bethesda messed it up, but I haven't watched it myself, so I'm going to trust the word of other people -- some of which also haven't finished watching it" is driving me insane.

Being a hard core fan of something obviously brings with it a lot of passionate feelings when adaptations come into play. Of course, there's going to be people going "but in 8 episodes of the first ever season they made, they didn't explore Theme C or D, didn't introduce factions E and F and G, and because the source company is notorious for its scams, we and everyone else who's a TRUE fan should hate it".

The Amazon Original series Fallout follows the videogame franchise of the same name. It is a labour of love and you can tell by the attention to detail, the writing, the sets, and YES THE THEMES ARGUE WITH THE WALL. It's clearly fan service. I mean, the very characterisation of Lucy is a deadringer for someone playing a Fallout game for the first time. She embodies the innocent player whose expectations drastically change in a game that breaks your heart over and over again. Of course, she's also the vessel through which we explore a lot of themes, but I'll get to that.

There're some folks arguing that the show retcons the games, and I gotta say... for a website practically built on fandom culture, why are we so violently against the idea of someone basing an adaptation on a franchise that so easily lends itself to new and interesting interpretations? But to be frank, a lot of what AO's Fallout is not that new. We have: naive Vault dweller, sexy traumatised ghoul that people who aren't cowards will thirst over, and pathetic guy from a militaristic faction. We also have: total atomic annihilation, and literally in-world references to the games' lore and worldbuilding constantly (the way I was shaking my sister over seeing Grognark the Barbarian, Sugar Bombs, Cram, Stimpaks, and bags of RadAway was ridiculous). Oh, and the Red Rocket?? Best pal Dogmeat? I'm definitely outing myself as specifically a Fallout 4 player, but that's not the point you should be taking away from this.

The details, the references, and the new characters -- this show is practically SCREAMING "hey look, we did this for the fans, we hope you love it as much as we do". Who cares that the characters are new, they still hold the essence of ones we used to know! And they're still interesting, so goddamn bloody interesting. Their arcs mean so much to the story, and they're told in a genuinely intriguing way. This isn't just any videogame adaptation, this was gold. This sits near Netflix's Arcane: League of Legends level in videogame adaptation. Both series create new plots out of familiar worlds.

Of course, those who've done the work have already figured out AO's Fallout is not a retcon anyway. But even if it was, that shouldn't take away from the fact that this show is actually good. Not even just good, it's great.

Were some references a little shoe-horned in to the themes by the end of the show, such as with "War never changes"? Yes, I thought so. But I love how even with a new plot and characters, they're actually still exploring the same themes and staying true to the games. I've seen folks argue otherwise, but I truly disagree. The way capitalism poisons our world, represented primarily through The American Dream and the atomic age of the 45-50s that promoted the nuclear family dynamic -- it's there. If you think it's glorifying it by leaning so heavily into in the adaptation, I feel like you're not seeing it from the right angle. It's like saying Of Mice And Men by John Steinbeck glorifies the American Dream, when both this book and the Fallout franchise are criticisms of it. If you think about it, the post-apocalyptic world of Fallout is a graveyard to the American Dream. This criticism comes from the plots that are built into every Fallout story that I know of. The Vaults are literally constructed to be their own horror story just by their mere existence, what they stand for, what happens in each of them. The whole entire show is about the preservation of the wrong things leading to fucked up worlds and people. The missions of the Vaults are time and again proven to be fruitless, unethical, plain wrong. Lucy is our brainwashed character who believed in the veritable cult she lived in before she found out the truth.

So then consider the Brotherhood of Steel. I really don't think it exists in the story to glorify the military. We see just how much the Brotherhood has brainwashed people like Max (also, anything ominously named something like "the Brotherhood" should raise eyebrows). Personally, I don't like Max, but I am intrigued by his characterisation. I thought the end of his arc was rushed the way he "came good" basically, but [SPOILERS] having him embraced as a knight in the Brotherhood at the end against his will -- finally getting something he always wanted -- and him grimly accepting it from all that we can tell? Him having that destiny forced upon him now that he's swaying? After he defected? If his storyline is meant to be a tragedy, it wouldn't surprise me, because Fallout is rife with tragedies anyway. And a tragedy would also be a criticism of the military. That's what Max's entire arc is. It goes from the microcosm focusing on the cycle of bullying between soldiers to the macro-environment where Max is being forced to continue a cycle of violence against humanity he doesn't want to anymore because a world driven to extremes forces him to choose it to survive (not to mention what a cult and no family would do to his psyche). Let's not forget what the Brotherhood's rules are: humankind is supreme. Mutants, ghouls, synths, and robots are abominations to be hated and destroyed. If you can't draw the parallels to the real world, you need to retake history and literature classes. The Brotherhood is also about preserving the wrong things, like the Vaults (like the Enclave, really). They just came about through different method. The Enclave is capitalism and twisted greed in a world where money barely exists anymore. The Brotherhood is, well, fascism plain and simple.

Are these the only factions in the Fallout franchise? Hell no. But if you're mad about that -- that they're the main ones explored, apart from the NCR -- I think you're missing the point. These themes, these reminders, are highly relevant in the current climate. In fact, I almost think they always will be relevant unless we undergo drastic change. On the surface-level, Fallout seems like the American ideal complete with guns blazing that guys in their basements jerk off to. Under that surface, is a mind-fuck story about almost the entire opposite: it's a deconstruction of American ideals that are held so closely by some, and the way that key notion of freedom gets twisted, and you're shooting a guy in-game because it's more merciful than what the world had in store for him.

I mean, the ghoul's a fucking cowboy from the wild west character he used to play in Hollywood glam and his wife was one of the people who helped blow up America in the name of capitalism and "peace". There are so many layers of this to explore, I'd need several days to try and keep track and go through it all.

The Amazon Prime show is a testament to the Fallout franchise. The message, the themes? They were not messed up or muddled or anything of the sort, in my opinion.

As for Todd Howard, that Bethesda guy, I'm sure there's perfectly valid reasons to hate him. I mean, I've hated people for a lot less valid reasons, and that's valid. We all got our feelings. But the show is about more than just him. My advice is to keep that in mind when you're judging it.

128 notes · View notes

bestanimatedmovie · 1 year

Text

Choose your favorite!

Vote in the other polls!

What fans say:

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron:

I was a Horse Girl TM, so I watched this movie a million times as a kid. It's honestly the best horse animation I've ever seen, all the backgrounds are gorgeous, and the soundtrack is incredible. Also the plot is anti-colonial/anti "taming of the west". Genuinely cannot pick a favorite scene, but I love the scene where Spirit commits many acts of violence against the US military <3

horsie :) I love how they use actual horse body language instead of just turning them into a dog. Also enjoy how the protags are easily understandable with just body language and neighs. Also the 2d and 3d animation blend seamless.

I cannot begin to tell you what makes this movie so good. It's a corner stone of animated media. The societal commentary. The incredible emotion of not only the story but the animation. The songs. Sound the Bugle makes me cry every time.

This movie was a key part of my childhood and “Sound the Bugle” still makes me tear up.

This is like the greatest horse movie of all time and I will not change my mind. I watched this movie so many times as a kid that both the VHS and first cd I had for it got ruined and we had to replace it with another cd LOL. I once convinced my teacher to let us watch it in class because it had a few scenes with Native Americans and we were learning about them at the time(It's about the old west and the expansion of the United States westward so it has some Native American characters but def not enough to make it a Native American film, but it does have positive representation I think?) The main character is the horse Spirit, a lead stallion for a herd of mustangs. His thoughts are narrated but he doesn't actively talk and the horse behaviors are pretty realistic, also the ART of it all, James Baxter was one of the lead animators for this film and his work is incredible, and hand done. Some of the behind the scenes stuff in the extras makes the animation look 3d its so good, and the camera work is also insane. As a horse obsessed child this movie was a staple for me, and I prefer it even over live action movies with actual horses. ALSO THE SOUNDTRACK OH MY GODDD how can I almost forget, the soundtrack for this movie goes so hard, I used to use some of the songs as hype music not even lying.

The Mitchells vs. the Machines:

It’s in its core about family, how we can drift and argue. Not because of one true fault, but because we are different. It shows how being weird and different don’t make you less of a family while not demonizing people who do have more stereotypical ‘perfect’ families. I think it portrays our humanity and the way we bond and what we do for those we love, what we sacrifice, so well. It’s so funny and so sweet.

It's funny and the family is neurodivergent and it's just really nice v good time it looks like anti technology at first but its clearly more of a criticism on capitalism I just really like that movie its pretty to look at.

It's funky!!! hang on, bullet point list time: - has such a unique and expressive animation style - has a lot of pop culture references that don't really feel overbearing - has honestly one of the best family dynamics in a movie I've seen???? - realistic characters!!! with realistic and interesting character arcs!!! - absolutely hilarious. makes me laugh every time i watch it :) - comedic villain! gotta love me one of those. also she's badass for a smartphone so - tHERE ARE FURBIES - basically it's very chaotic but also heartwarming, and it's honestly my favourite movie :D

Heartwarming story about family! Also kickass animation

Very good stylized animation. Well written and designed characters. Super funny and sooo heart warming. Fucking rad action scenes (again the animation is fantastic). The story comes together well, it's just quite well written. + Protective dad character who's not annoying as hell (that's rare!). I love every part of when they're at the dinosaur museum thing.

#Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron #Spirit #The Mitchells vs. the Machines #best animated movie #round 2 #tournament poll #tumblr's favorite

291 notes · View notes

brf-rumortrackinganon · 4 months

Note

Meghan was leaking about the Queen being on her deathbed and her death before it was announced & before the whole family knew and I think it got back to the family who was leaking to the press about her condition and was the reason why Charles basically said Meghan can fuck off…

Yep, I agree. I feel pretty confident that she was the one talking to Scobie that day (which he writes about in Endgame) just by him describing the source as an "insider" and "someone whose word I had come to trust."

There were rumors at the time that Meghan had been talking to American journalists, and they were later confirmed when Gayle King said a couple of things about the Sussex/Charles rift a few days later.

I don't know that she was speaking of the Queen's condition before she passed. I have to trust everyone else's judgement on that.

So confession time: I was at a family wedding that weekend. As my luck had it, I was gone Thursday 9/8 to Tuesday 9/13 (the plane had just landed and we were rolling up to the gate when I saw the "Her Majesty has been advised to rest" announcement) and I unfortunately have a "the family must do ALL the things together ALL the time EVERY time" grandmother so there was no sneaking away to watch the BBC app on my phone. I saw nothing live or in real time that weekend, only to come home to find out that my cable company dropped BBC World News from my package (gotta love that capitalism) so the DVR recordings I set via the app didn't even take and I had to upgrade to the premium package. Ooh, that reminds me. I DVR'd the BBC's coverage of the funeral and I wonder if I still have the recording, since the royal family made the BBC take it down last year.

Anyway, back to the point. I do agree with you that the family absolutely knew Meghan was leaking about the Queen's passing because of Sophie. Oh, man, Sophie was so, so pissed that day at the Lying-in-State when she and Meghan were in the car together and she also iced Meghan out at the funeral too.

Kate too -- Kate knew something at the Windsor walkabout because it was all over her face and in her body language. At the time, the story/rumor was that the Waleses found out the Sussexes were planning their own walkabout in Windsor with Netflix/CNN and/or that the Sussexes had kept them waiting at least an hour, but I always felt there was more to Kate's anger than that.

#ask #brf #sussexes

126 notes · View notes

sillygooseassociation · 1 year

Text

Merry Sexy Christmas

Request: yk how keeley and roy have sexy christmas, maybe y/n gets some inspo from keeley and surprises a ‘tired from work’ ted with sexy red lingerie and his mood automatically changes

Description: Inspired by Keeley, you decide to give Ted an early Christmas present ahead of Henry's arrival.

Warning(s): porn with almost no plot, smut, oral (f receiving), ted can't get over nipples, ted lasso loves eating out

Pairing: Ted Lasso x reader

Word Count: 2k

A/N: okay so this was supposed to be short, hence being written in blurb format with no capitalization and more casual sentences. but then i was really horny and accidentally wrote 2 thousand words. so i'm not changing the format, you gotta deal with my unedited blurb mistakes but please enjoy horny holiday ted

you and keeley were out for girls' night, both of you a drink or two in before she remembers that she forgot to go shopping that day for sexy christmas, "oh shit, i need to run to the shop before they close! will you come with?" you agree because duh, keeley is your best friend, you're not even sure what kind of shop you're going to, but of course you'll go with her.

so when the two of you arrive in front of her favorite lingerie boutique, you're incredibly confused, "um, what exactly are we shopping for keels?" she giggles as she pulls you into the shop, "sexy christmas, y/n. come on, help me choose what to get." having come with beard and ted to richmond when they were signed on, the american in you was incredibly confused, was this a british tradition you some how hadn't heard of your past two christmases here?

"sexy huh?"walking over to a table of thongs, keeley just laughs at your reaction, picking up some pairs to inspect them as she answers your question, "sexy christmas, it's mine and roy's tradition. we both dress sexily and surprise each other, celebrating the holiday by basically having sex all over the house." she turns to you with a smirk, "you should try it with the gaffer."

you chuckle lightly, a blush covering your cheeks, sure you and keeley talk about your sex lives but out of respect for ted who is also friends with keeley, you don't often share explicit details. you especially don't tell her about any special foreplay ted is into, however, it is hard to ignore the fact that the shop has plenty of red lacy garments for the season and that is ted's favorite color on you. you shake away the thought, it wouldn't work, "no, henry is coming for christmas, you know that. there's no way to do that."

keeley shrugs as she walks over to the bralettes, "yeah, but doesn't he get here on christmas eve? that means you have all of tomorrow until you pick him up the next day. seems like plenty of time to me." she was right, it was only the evening of the 22nd, sure ted was having breakfast with beard tomorrow to bookend the year, but you had the rest of the day. you simply hum in response as you begin to look more at the items in the store, keeley sending a knowing smirk your way.

an hour later, you and keeley exit the shop, hugging each other and wishing happy holidays, though you would be seeing each other on boxing day at the team holiday get-together. you smile to yourself as you walk home to the flat you share with ted, thinking about how you would surprise him the next day. you giggle to yourself at the fact that what you purchased is so small that you can fit it in your purse to sneak it past ted. you get home and give him a kiss before hurrying to the bedroom, hiding your purchase in your dresser before changing into one of ted's shirts and joining him on the couch to watch a christmas film.

the next day, you wake up to ted leaving a light kiss on your forehead, the man whispering "i love you" before coaxing you back to sleep. once you hear the front door shut though, you fight against sleep, getting out of bed and starting your day. you and ted didn't keep a messy house by any means, but there were things to be done before henry arrived the next day. and while ted planned on you two tackling your to-do list together once he got home from breakfast, you had different plans for him that would hopefully keep him busy.

you complete the to-do list, putting fresh sheets on henry's bed, though no one has slept in it since you changed them after his last visit. you switch out some of the coffee table books you had out for some coloring books and board games, then finishing the wrapping of henry's gifts so you wouldn't have to worry about that after he goes to bed on christmas eve. when ted texts to ask if you want him to bring you a coffee home, you thank him but decline, then hurrying to your bathroom to change before he arrived home.

hearing the key in the door, you rush to stand in between your bed and the bedroom door, adjusting your hair once more, "honey?" "in here!" you hear ted approaching the room, smiling as he of course takes in the work you did as he heads towards you, "darlin', did you get a head start on the list? you didn't have to do that, i was happy to do that now…" ted trails off as he opens the door seeing you stand only a few feet in front of him, looking as gorgeous as ever.

his adam's apple bobs as he takes you in, a red bralette with white fur adorned across your chest, the see-through material allowing him to see not an outline of your nipple but the entire thing, your peaks pressing against the material, seeming to beg for freedom. his gaze traces down your figure, seeing possibly the shortest mini skirt he's ever seen if it could even be considered that. sure, it flares out like a skirt, but the material is maybe five inches long, and with its high rise position on your hips, he's sure it's covering absolutely nothing.

he clears his throat as his vision rises, though he seems to choke on his spit when he sees your nipples again before meeting your eyes, "w-what's this, sweetheart?" you take a step closer, even the slightest movement showing ted that the bralette had truly no support as your breasts bounced with even one step, "merry sexy christmas, ted." trying to be a gentleman, he forces himself to look into your eyes, though all he truly wants is to seal his mouth on yours as he throws you onto the bed. "but it's only the 23rd."

you take another couple steps until your standing directly in front of him, practically feeling the heat radiating off of the tented area of his pants, "well i thought we could celebrate a little early." you grab his hands, bringing them up to cup your breasts, "that all right with you, teddy?" as his name rolls of your tongue, your hands guide his thumbs so they run over your nipples, bringing a small moan from you which causes ted to groan, "fuckin' hell, baby."

unable to hold back anymore, ted dips his head down to meet you in a kiss, his tongue sliding across your lips to gain entry, skipping past the foreplay he typically loves. while he hates to move his hands, he guides them down to your ass, confirming his suspicion that your skirt covered nothing, his fingers pressed into your skin. you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer as he kneads the skin of your ass while moving you back toward the bed. you lay down as ted begins to shed his clothing, watching you intently.

ted's eyes darken as your legs widen, revealing that with the mesh material of the skirt, your wetness had seeped through to coat your inner thighs. stripped down to nothing, ted practically growls as he settles in between your legs, less than a foot from where you need him most, "holy hell sweetness, you have all this just from that? i would have thought i made you come at least three times from how wet you are."

you whine at ted's words though your whine quickly turns into a gasp as his mouth lands on your thigh, his tongue tracing over your juices before he bites the sensitive skin. he moves to the other leg and repeats his movements, sure to leave two matching marks, "can never get over how good you taste, my love. jus' perfect." you wiggle your hips against the mattress, causing ted to lowly chuckle, "i know sugar, i know." he answers every prayer you've ever made when he drags down the skirt, moving quickly so that he can remove it entirely before placing himself right back in between your legs.

while ted's erection had been struggling, untouched, this entire time, he was absolutely positive he was going to explode as he watched your core convulse around nothing, begging for something to fill it. "you jus' torture me honey, i know you don't mean to, but hell if i could do this every minute of every hour, i would never leave this spot." you whine at his words, yes you want him to never leave that place in between your legs but right now, you really just need him to touch you. you fist at the sheets as you let out shaky breaths, "p-please, teddy."

ted places a kiss on your inner thigh, "i got you honey, i always got you." ted licks a long stripe from bottom to top of your opening, going just short enough that he doesn't touch your clit. a low low moan leaves your lips from finally feeling his mouth on you but also from him avoiding your sensitive bud. before you can beg, a single finger is slipped between your lips, not nearly enough for you to feel filled, but better than nothing. your pussy attempts to tighten around his middle finger as it circles around your hole, but the single digit isn't enough.

"more, pl-please." ted looks up at you through his eyelashes, practically drooling at the sight of you with your head thrown back, your neck on display as your hard nipples press against their confinement. ted obliges your request, though rather than doing so slowly, he removes his pointer finger almost all the way before shoving all three middle fingers in rather than just two. you moan loudly at the action, your back arching off the bed as you cry out his name, your core tightening around his fingers, "there you go baby, i said i got you."

though he hadn't been going for long, you already felt your climax approaching, something you attempted to tell ted, though you're sure he already knew, "t-teddy…" "i know baby, i know." his lips suddenly latch onto your clit, sucking on the swollen bundle of nerves, his teeth grating against the skin. you let out a strangled groan at this, noticing the feeling growing in your lower belly. on instinct, you wrap your thighs around ted's head, pulling him closer. he moves his fingers in the 'come here' motion, perfectly hitting your g-spot as he practically makes out with your clit, the combined effort bringing you to your peak.

you let out a scream of his name as you reach your high, ted moving his head at lightning speed to catch any juices that escape your core as his fingers work you through your orgasm, "so perfect for me baby, always such a good girl for me". after a minute or so, ted stops his movements, pulling his fingers out of your core, to which you whine. he chuckles at your response, bringing his hand up to suck the juices off of each of his fingers individually. he sits up, shimmying up your body, until he is straddling your hips, his angry head laying on your stomach just below the bottom of your bralette.

ted smiles at his view, your breasts bouncing as you breathe heavily, attempting to catch your breath with a dazed expression on your face, practically fucked out from only your first orgasm of the day. ted leans down, giving you a sweet kiss before pulling away slightly, his mustache tickling your upper lip, "merry sexy december 23rd, sweetness."

#ted lasso loves eating out #ted lasso #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fic #ted lasso x reader #ted lasso smut #smut #jason sudeikis

408 notes · View notes

quartergremlin · 1 month

Note

Top 5 anime?

what have you dome. there was so much litigation for this one. i had to consult people (one guy) (it was fun).

Im going to only include tv shows, not movies or (only)manga. And exclude "american anime" (it is very valid its just too many new options) and shows that are currently being released.

1- Soul Eater:

Beautiful animation, beautiful fights, beautiful story. Its funny and thoughtful and I wish the ending wasn't as jank as it was (as an anime from a manga that got cut short). I have the whole series second-hand from a friend's brother who knew how to burn dvds and watched it religiously through my early teens. Maka and soul's relationship drives me insane. Romantic or not, they are completely devoted to each other and on rewatch i love how their individual strengths work with their dynamic even in their introduction episode.

2- Ouran High School Host Club:

It definitely shows its age in some places, but years later ohshc is still a fun watch. Its cute! Its got romance! Its got gender schennanigains! It was my first brush with anything queer as a kid and kassanoda - bisexual king - deserves the world.

3- Blue Period:

One of the only anime ill only watch the sub of. Every episode fucks me up artistically (sometimes positively sometimes negatively) and it helped me understand composition better than art school did. I enjoy the large cast with a wide range of views on art and school and paths and their personalities clash beautifully! Cons: Too many characters with y names. I get confused.

4- Mob psycho 100:

You know why. Its beautiful. With a beautiful message.

5- Deca-dence:

THIS ONE GOES OUT THE FIVE OTHER PEOPLE WHO'VE WATCHED THIS SHOW MWAH! Do you like gay robots? Found family monster hunters? Post-capitalism post-apocalypse city car with a giant fist on top?? Wait where are you going come back the main character is disabled and it isn't "fixed" hey-

+1- My Dress-Up Darling:

Im a dirty cheater but I already cut so many things from this list let me live. I've gotta insist on the dub for this one, the sub reads as a more literal translation and the characters personalities (esp marin's) really shine in the English dub! The romance is cute, but marin and gojo's budding friendship is even cuter! they bring out the best in each other and it explores the technical details of cosplaying in a way thats genuinely interesting!

#askbox #ask game #ugh this was so hard #i love fullmetal alchemist vrotherhood so much!!!#vut it umfortumately got cut #vc i always get vored aroumd the maria ross arc :((((((((

11 notes · View notes

toastling · 4 months

Text

You know sometimes I think we forget that all these 'advertiser friendly' marketing standards we have that are ruining our internet don't just exist in a void. It's not as if these things are inherently unadvertiseable and that's why the internet is becoming increasingly sanitized; it's cultural, not corporate. It's always been cultural.

American society is founded on puritanical values and incredibly warped views of sex and violence. Personally I don't understand how in movies stuff like torture porn is completely okay and accepted but an unsimulated sex scene is somehow this big controversy everybody talks about for months that often gets censored down on release. It's as if violence and pain are considered to be better and more family friendly than love and pleasure. Which, you know, looking at a lot of Christian families...

Anyway, while it is definitely not good that the internet's being shaped by corporate interests to the tune of selling as much to as many as possible, its standards are just a reflection of our society's own. Dismantling capitalism is important, but only half the battle. You gotta change the culture, too. We've done it before. 20 years ago almost nobody dared advertise to us queers, now look at where we are, we're just as exploitable to them as anybody else. We shifted the cultural standard.

I think we might actually make faster progress on protecting the internet by focusing on culture and capitalism rather than just the latter.

#Toast Talks #Capitalism #Advertiser Friendly #Culture #Society

13 notes · View notes

chaos0pikachu · 1 year

Text

tldr: censorship fucking sucks and word of honor and xena are mlm/wlw solidarity

okay this was a random thought that came to me during a combo of rewatching of Word of Honor and reading a post that declared Word of Honor “didn’t count” on their BL list of whatever the fuck and here’s the thought, here’s the vibe, Word Of Honor has a lot in common with Xena: Warrior Princess

Hear me out

Everyone kinda knows that Xena - and by extension Lucy Lawless - as a bisexual/queer woman icon, and that Xena/Gabrielle is probably still one of the most prominent wlw ships in western canon. That’s a huge part of the shows iconography in pop culture. But like, if you rewatch the show, things between Xena and Gabrielle are kept pretty ambiguous but in that ambiguously totally gay way (like WenZhou!).

The network was actively against Xena and Gabrielle being more than, what fans would probably call nowadays, bait. An executive told producer Rob Tapert that by making Xena and Gabrielle explicit there would be a surge of interested followed by a sharp decline.

It should be noted that Xena was already a controversial show for it’s era - not just for the gay subtext but under fire from religious groups, anti-feminist groups, and others.

The showrunners and producers also didn’t intend for Xena and Gabrielle’s relationship to, eh, blossom the way it did. Fans ran with it. Ironically, the intention of the show was to push Xena’s men of color love interests which also made the network gun shy (remember folks racism exists alongside homophobia!).

Xena and Gabrielle operated in a highly censored space (that still exists in American media btw!! Take it from someone who knows first hand) that was beholden to network hand-wringing, capitalism, and societal homophobia at large. So their relationship could only live within an ambiguous space. Ironically enough, just like WenZhou, Xena and Gabrielle are also referred to as “soulmates” in the text of the show. But ya know, sometimes soulmates are platonic, sometimes romantic. Which are WenZhou and Xena/Gabrielle? Well that’s up for the viewer to decide b/c the production teams hands are tied.

Even so, even with the censorship, we all still view Xena as legitimate queer representation within the pop culture space. Why? Why Xena and not Word of Honor?

For me, they both count, especially WoH because it’s source material IS queer. But the filter of censorship snipped and cut the text away so everything would be forced to live within that ambiguous “up to the audience aka gotta make the advertisers comfortable” space.

I don’t think it’s fair to throw WoH out because the production couldn’t, like they were not allowed, to showcase text on screen. Similar to Xena queer fans knew that her and Gabrielle were in love, soulmates (romantic) by the end (where Xena dies, like literal for reals death she’s ashes carried on by Gabby at the end btw spoiler alert for a 20 year old show at least WK got silver hair and immortality out of his death experience).

Queer fans appreciated and cultivated what Xena gave us because, no offense but what the fuck else was there? Not a lot, and even less in the fantasy space. Hell, there’s still not a lot of queer representation in the fantasy space we’re only just now going “hey maybe Tolkien’s ultra white British view of things is not the only way to do things?" And now House of Dragon has Black actors in terrible wigs (they’re so fucking bad rip) in 2022. Woooo~ most queer chars in western fantasy media are mainly found in kids cartoons - which, fucking aces there but also - probably why there’s so many adults in those spaces in fandom (not my bag personally) and why I think the popularity of danmei, c-dramas, and k-dramas is on the rise. People are hungry for epic fantasy content, epic romance content, and queer content.

but like, I think about queer folks who live in China, who watched WoH (ya know, the intended audience, not Americans) who are probably feeling the same thing people felt when they watched Xena. Yeah, Mr. Advertiser Xena and Gabrielle are soulmates (platonic) wink wink, Yeah Mr. Network ZZS and WKX are soulmates (platonic) wink wink

and I think that’s still valuable. idk I just don’t think it’s right for foreigners to be like “no you’re queer media doesn’t count actually because I deem it so” when the reason for the relationship being subtextual is literal censorship. And yet the text is hella gay anyway!! like at the end of the day we’re all battling the crushing weight of homophobia but not everyone’s fight is exactly the same especially country-to-country and I think that should still be respected. given how damn gay WoH is anyway I imagine the producers fought really fucking hard to give audiences what they did. Just like the producers of Xena fought against the network to do what they could.

anyway, thoughts and shit

#Word Of Honor #faraway wanderers #shl #wenzhou #chaos pikachu speaks

80 notes · View notes

neechees · 1 year

Note

Here is a question I've always wanted to have answered from a Native American perspective: Was the invention of fast food a mistake?

Interesting question.... I think it can depend on what we consider "fast food" & how it's sourced & how it came to be. Cause I'd say that the idea of "fast food" originates to Ancient Rome or maybe older: in Rome, most people who weren't rich lived in apartments, & most of them didn't have a kitchen for people to cook in in each individual room. These apartments were crowded, & so cooking yourself was a privilege. People would have to go to essentially, fast food restaurants to get cheap food, which could often be located at the bottom floor of the apartment. So for them, these fast food places were just part of life, that was how they ate. Fast food to them was convenient & good because they otherwise would've had a much harder time trying to eat. But even if you had your own kitchen yourself, you could still eat at these places, & so could visitors or travelers. You could also argue street food falls under the category of "fast food", & places like those featuring people with carts of food or mini restarted have also existed for a long time, so I don't really see them as bad.

I think where fast food could be considered bad mostly also falls under the way some food is sourced, like the insidious beef industry, which itself also falls under capitalism. But again, fast food has existed for centuries long before capitalism was even a thing, so it's not the idea of a fast food restaurant itself that could be a "mistake". I think it's who's running it, how the food is getting brought in, what kind of food, etc. Ideally everything would be locally & ethically sourced, but we live in a capitalist hellscape, so. We gotta deal with capitalism first.

I'm also not sure really how to approach this with a Native American perspective, because I feel like everything I've just said also generally falls under just. Being a good person & trying to make the world better. Like the general idea with ndns is "treat animals with respect", which should be done anyway. If the general idea of fast food itself (like the general concept of being able to get a quick, hot meal from the store) severely intervened with my being Native, I wouldn't be eating fast food, but ndns continue to love KFC into memehood. It's not the fast food restaurant that's the problem, capitalism is.

#austic-prince-cinderella

36 notes · View notes

the1975attheirverybest · 4 months

Note

as a newly cancellee (is that a good term to say youve been cancelled) could you give me a quick interview:

How has this impacted your life and what has changed since?

How does it feel to beat Matty to the cancellation? Do you think Mr Healy will address you publicly now that you are his most serious competition?

Will you be hosting SNL?

What will you do to help the rest of us become good again being cancelled?

How does this affect your daily routine?

Will you make a playlist which elaborately describes your feelings?

Can you write a blurb based on this experience? Please say yes otherwise I will cancel you for *insert vaguely dumb reason*.

On a scale of 1-10 how annoying was this interview?

Will you be going on Hot Ones to talk about this experience?

Since the few hours that I have been cancelled? I’ve made t shirts that say “absolute cunt” I’m starting a merch business 😎 (you gotta capitalize on the notoriety right? In this capitalist society this is how I get my own reality tv show or whatever hahah)

I do expect Matty to go off on a rant about my win onstage. You know, Grammy rant style. He’ll probably say that unless and until I’ve been banned by two tyrannical governments and had my life threatened, this is really soft core cancelation. Which…fair enough. But I’m just getting started.

The only way I do SNL is if they let me read the weekend updates. I’m trying to win an invite to Collin Josh and Scarlett Johansson’s home for dinner.

HAHAHA listen Matty wrote “it was poorly handled the day we both got canceled cuz I’m a racist and you’re some kinda slag” for a reason. I think the blurb writes itself at this point!!

Are you kidding me?!! Not at all. The same and attention is already addicting.

I think I’m morally required as a middle eastern. We do love spicy things. Let me let you in on a secret. For the fans. I used to be immune to spiciness. American food has ruined me though I think I’m sensitive now :((( I think Hot Ones would make an interesting experience. Will I handle it? Will I shit myself? Stay tuned to find out!

6 notes · View notes

ofwrittenlegacy · 1 year

Text

finals and washing machines (black panther: shuri/riri)

ay, I ship tf out of them.

___

The inside of Riri’s dorm looked like something out of a Stephen King novel. Sure, Shuri had gently ushered the ramen wrappers and one-day worn sweatpants into the trash and neatly folded next to the laundry basket (respectively), to make room on the bed, but the floor still looked like something from the dark crevices of her nightmares.

How Ri lived like this was beyond her.

“I can feel you staring at the back of my neck. Why are you staring at the back of my neck?”

Finals in America seemed to cause real turmoil on the mind.

“Just looking at you, my love. I love the face you make when you are concentrating. Is that so wrong?”

Shuri crept forward, sliding her gentle fingers on sides of Riri’s neck and massaged down, hard and purposefully until she felt the tension seep out of her posture. Riri mewled softly in pleasure. She had been hunched over her laptop for over four hours.

“Yo, I thought we talked about this. You can’t distract me, I gotta get this done. Don’t make me kick you out my dorm.”

“You,” Shuri snorted, “are threatening to kick the Princess of Wakanda out of your dorm room?”

Riri smirked over her shoulder at her girlfriend. “With all due respect, Your Highness, you don’t scare me. Now, will you let me focus?”

Laughing, Shuri backed away from the desk, hands held high in surrender. “Yes, Your Majesty. I will leave you to rot your brain. I’m going to do your laundry. I am curious how American washing machines work. They’re so odd.”

“Thanks, babe. Oh– there’s quarters in my backpack.” Shuri snatched up the laundry basket. “You need quarters? How interesting!”

Riri watched her girlfriend disappear out of the dorm, muttering about capitalism with a smile on her face. God, she loved her.

#black panther #black panther 2 #wakanda forever #shuri #shuriri #riri williams #fanfic #bp fanfic #my writing

64 notes · View notes

anueutsuhos-touhou-profiles · 1 year

Text

Clownpiece:

Clownpiece is a lampad: a Greek mythological creature similar to a fairy. In fact, most people just call her a fairy. They're mischievous little women who drive people to madness and serve Hecate, goddess of magic.

Unlike what you might think from that outfit, Clownpiece is not American. She made that outfit after being inspired by the American flag on the moon.

Clownpiece was the 5th boss of Legacy of Lunatic Kingdom. She led the legions of Hell fairies across the moon to attack the Lunar Capital, sometimes just by being there. How can you attack just by being there? The Hell fairies had been... purified, not in the sense that they had been cleansed of Kegare, but rather their essence was simplified. Fairies are borne of the elements, and the Hell fairies were now embodiments of life and death. This was horrifying to the amortal Lunarians, who would now be able to grow old and die if they didn't fix things. Thus they hid in the Dream World.

I might remind you this includes the Watatsuki Sisters, who were powerful enough to beat Reimu and Marisa without much effort. And they were bested by a clown child so hard they ran away like cowards.

However, it seems to be a rock-paper-scissors type deal, as Clownpiece was soundly defeated by the protagonists when they were sent out of the Lunar Capital.

After being defeated, her master ordered her to move into Gensokyo, allegedly to spy on the place but truly because she wanted a better home for Clownpiece than Hell. Clownpiece sets up shop in a "miniature Hell" underneath the Hakurei Shrine. As if Reimu could get less visitors, now she's gotta warn them about the hell fairy.

This begins the Touhou manga Visionary Fairies in Shrine, where she becomes the unwitting lackey of the Three Fairies of Light and engages in wacky hijinks with them. Eventually she comes to consider Gensokyo her true home, and attempts to fight to save it. She fails, but gets points for effort.

Clownpiece has the ability to drive anyone insane using her hellfire-powered torch. Anyone who gazes at its evil flame will lose all reason and become a giggling hyperviolent madwoman. They also seem to be boosted in strength significantly. Clownpiece claims that insanity is inevitable when unlocking your true physical potential. Clownpiece uses this to enhance the power of her Hell fairy army, and when a kappa accidentally came across it, she became powerful enough to turn all the water in Genbu Ravine into a massive water dragon! This is the torch's ability, however, and if she loses the torch somewhere, chaos often follows. The torch itself is seemingly unextinguishable, burning even when completely submerged. Even when it does get put out, it will reignite on its own soon after.

Clownpiece has a level of childish innocence to her, as with all the other fairies in this series. She also has a love of violence and mayhem, and routinely uses her torch to cause riots in the Human Village. She seems to have had such a hard time in Hell that she considered even the lifeless rock areas of the moon to be paradise in comparison. That said, everyone around her praises her for being a "self-made fairy" who managed to go from a lowly position to Hecate's right-hand girl through hard work. Seija Kijin of course loves everything about Clownpiece; the lowly fairy underdog who nonetheless can cause great chaos.

Clownpiece has the inexplicable ability to summon glowing miniature moons. These are solid objects that block your shots as well as hers, which turns many of her spellcards into a cover mechanic. As you might guess from her outfit, Clownpiece primarily attacks using stars and stripes: that is, laser beams. Sometimes it's blue stars and red bars, sometimes it’s the other way around. She also uses a lot of red and purple fire. Her spellcards tend to be named after Hell and inferno, except for her final attack "Apollo Hoax Theory".

Clownpiece is often considered one of the hardest bosses in the entire series, if not the hardest ever. Some people even joked that her difficulty is her ability to drive people to madness breaking into the real world.

In a joint interview with Toby Fox, creator of Undertale, ZUN revealed he designed Clownpiece because he thinks of the Lunarians as China and thought of its natural enemy as America.

#touhou project #touhou #legacy of lunatic kingdom #clownpiece

50 notes · View notes

xplrvibes · 4 days

Note

Any good stories from your travels?

Do you mean my most recent travels, or all time?

Cause I've always dreamt about writing a book about my US travels one day, cause some of what I got up to was incomprehensible lol.

But for this most recent trip, I definitely had a blast! Some highlights include:

1. Running across Abbey Road in the pouring rain with no umbrella and no coat (I forgot) and then just spending the rest of the day not rectifying the situation and walking around London completely soaking wet with no worries in the world.

2. Speed running the Louvre. Seriously, we hit almost every room on every floor in 6 hours. 26,000 steps and almost 10 miles of walking and my feet were so swollen I almost couldn't get my shoes off, but hey - it was an accomplishment.

3. Tesco Express in London and FranPrix in Paris saved my life multiple times and I will forever ride for them.

4. We stumbled across the King's Guard practicing for Trooping the Colour and we had no clue what was happening. This nice older gentleman saw our confusion and came over to tell me what was going on and he seemed so genuinely excited that I, a random American tourist, was genuinely interested in this mock parade that he basically gave me a whole history lesson on trooping the colour and the entire UK military right then and there. I love meeting people who get excited to share some things about their hometown. It's really pure.

5. Belgian waffles sent me to orbit many times.

6. Europeans have the BEST cherry coke, like wtf is happening there and how do I make it happen here? GAH.

7. I happened to be at the Tower of London on the anniversary of the execution of Anne Boleyn. I did not plan that, but of all days to decide to go there...how random is that?

8. Also, speaking of the Tower - the way they put you on Conveyer belts to see the crown jewels is genius. Other museums, take note.

9. I stumbled into this macaron shop in Paris and this couple was in front of me buying (you guessed it) macarons. The guy says to the lady behind the counter, "Guess where we're from!" in an American accent and I facepalmed. Counter lady didn't respond and American guy let the awkward silence breathe for a moment before loudly and proudly declaring, "The USA!"

Counter lady just kind of went, "...oh" and handed him his macarons.

Undeterred, USA guy tried again. "Have you ever heard of Las Vegas?"

"No," responds counter lady.

"Well, we live in Utah, but we tell people Las Veags cause more people have heard of that," USA guy replies.

Counter lady gave this whole exchange exactly what it deserved, which was nothing.

But yea - American tourists in Paris are really something to behold.

10. Speaking of Paris and dumb Americans - I don't know what was wrong with my brain, but I could not stop responding to people speaking French to me with Spanish. Especially difficult was when I wanted to say "yes" to someone and kept saying "sì" instead of "oui." So embarrassing.

11. Went to this brewery in Brussels before we got on the train to Paris and there was an entire high-school field trip in the brewery who then went to the bar afterwards. Belgium is no joke 🤣.

12. First place I ate at in Paris was a place called "Balls!" They served mac and cheese and meatballs. That was my first Parisian meal. The food capital of the world (aside from Italy) and thats where I wound up.

(Also why do they eat so late in Paris? I gotta go to bed, people!)

13. They dress the litrle Mannekin Pis statue up sometimes. First day we got to Brussels, it was dressed like a butterfly. The next day, it was back to normal. I find that endearing(ly weird).

I probably have so many more highlights or just interesting notes, but that was just a few I could think of off the top of my head!

#asks

2 notes · View notes