A QUICK GUIDE

BREATHE (ex: breathe in, breathe out.)

BREATH (ex: he took his last breath)

THANK YOU

I think about this post on a near daily basis and the thing that really gets me about it is that NOT ONLY does your Kim Points(TM), but YOU CAN ONLY GET THIS DIALOGUE IF HE ALREADY FEELS POSITIVELY ABOUT YOU.

If your reputation with him is negative or zero, you get this instead:

HE WILL ONLY THINK ABOUT HARRY WRESTLING A BEAR IF HE LIKES HARRY. I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS.

I finally finished reading the fourth volume of svsss in full, and thing is--the first time through I only read the bingqiu content because I was ravenous for more of their happy ending.

Turns out that was a perilous mistake.

Because I started reading the airplane extras. And I swear to god. MXTX is trying to kill me

What do you MEAN demon lord Binghe was sitting on his big fucking throne. All stoic and forbidding. Surrounded by his demon generals who don't know shit about human courtship. Asking them what he should do, fully demoralized by constant rejections from sqq, only to have airplane tell him to act more pathetic and needy. Which is already hysterically funny and insane, UNTIL LBH'S RESPONSE IS THIS, KILLING ME INSTANTLY:

LUO BINGHE. WHY DOES HE SAY IT LIKE: "I already tried that, didn't work--nothing works :/ not mean, not maidenly, not housewife, not spicy, not capable disciple. Is doubling down on clingy really all it will take? What's a born hater with only one love in his life to do????"

The dichotomy of him sitting there like 'how can I reach the unfathomable depths of shizun's heart?' A HEART HE'S ALREADY WON OVER, MIND and then in the Holy Mausoleum solving the puzzle without blinking and being like 'oh yeah you just have to hit the acupoints, no sweat.' Literally the comedy writes itself I'm so--

How am I supposed to be normal about this. MXTX understands the juicy quintessential queer joy of a person with the world's power at their fingertips wishing only for love. Willing to do anything to earn that love, when unbeknownst to them it's already been freely given. Totally not screaming and yelling and clawing at the walls

And that's not even touching airplane's uproarious account of events. The way he's like 'lol what's next, lbh and sqq are best friends now? smfh' only to see lbh TACKLE SQQ LOVINGLY. FOR SQQ TO BE BASHFUL ABOUT IT BUT SO SO FOND OF THE LITTLE SCAMP. This when we've been experiencing sqq's constant inner monologue of 'I'm so cool and so dignified about my role, truly the epitome of propriety and poser-level fortitude.' Meanwhile, in their universe:

Airplane constantly flaming???? Sqq and lbh in his observations????? His absolute bewilderment and confusion????? Legendary. No notes every single second of this shit was hilarious.

Airplane's comment that sqq + older adolescent lbh traveling together was just watching a couple in their honeymoon phase. OR the fact that lbh is exceedingly petty and refuses to share their food in the wake of airplane's interruption of their time together, until sqq relents sheepishly and insists airplane eat what's left (ONLY AFTER PLACATING LBH WITH MORE FOOD FROM HIS PLATE, SOBBING)

Watching airplane salivate over Mobei-Jun and acting like that's totally normal behavior. Finding out mbj and airplane got together first. Finding out sqq encouraged airplane. LIKE THIS. WHILE HE IS STILL IN DENIAL ABOUT HIS OWN FEELINGS:

Mobei-jun clearly thinking their arrangement is a forever thing, heartbroken his human abandoned him with all the hapless fury of a scorned wife swept away by false promises of fidelity. Airplane writing demons to be the type to beat up their crush lovingly and still unable to connect the dots about mbj's feelings. Mbj letting him go and respecting his wishes, only relenting when there's indication airplane was poorly processing his own feelings and didn't actually want to leave. Mbj caring for him and listening to him as soon as airplane voices what he needs directly and with clarity. None of these gays are functional and it's everything to me

Unrelated, but I physically can't hold this information in anymore:

I'm still reeling from younger lbh having his sexual awakening from the image of sqq wrapped in the immortal binding cables. Condemn me as you like he was so, so real for that.

And no I will not be taking any comments about how luo bingge couldn't bear to see luo binghe cherished in ways he never got to have and all the haunting implications of that. I will also not be taking any comments about luo binghe's instinct to look for sqq in that alternate universe, only to be shaken to the very core to be unable to find his shizun anywhere. The unspeakable and latent horror of his relentless mind likely piecing together what happened, but unable to say it; to suspect what is true, and live with the harrowing confusion of his double's actions. To blame himself, to assume that he had let his anger get the better of him in that world and result in unspeakable folly...

I also refuse to talk about how heartrending it is to hear Tianlang-jun weakly say "In the end, I really can't bring myself to hate humans." The implication that the foolishness of that hope and bright-eyed fondness--the very thing that put him through such unspeakable agony--couldn't be beaten out of him entirely. To discover that his faith in Su Xiyan hadn't been misplaced, to the contrary: his beloved hadn't scorned him at all, but rather fought to the miserable end to protect the fruition of their genuine feelings of love when she couldn't protect tlj or herself.

How MXTX has sqq deliberately draw parallels between their situation and that of ygy+sj and tlj+sx; desperately wishing it might not be too late for them. The concept of breaking cycles of abuse and harm pervasive throughout the newly devised story, how it evolves for the better only when love takes the place of power, pride, and domination. How the moment sqq chooses vulnerability instead of saving face, the genre shifts to the so-called "cringe" girly genre where most if not every character is more fulfilled, more true to themselves. How the "male-oriented" former genre was aimlessly sensationalized and sexualized, how it was a sustained performance of aspirational toxic masculinity. How men objectify other men without end. All of the unspoken gendered implications that come with that.

Anyways. Going to go put my head in a sandbox and try to process everything I just witnessed because even a second reading is not enough to find a modicum of closure.

Hugging, Kissing and Cuddling HCs for König

I'm trying to see him in another light again after everything I've seen about him, so I decided I'd write something fluffy and nice for him. And then came the realization I never wrote some HCs like these for him in my original posts, so I decided I'd change that! He's Austrian, so naturally I have to love him!

When it comes to hugging someone, König is a bit hesitant. Considering he’s not the most physically affectionate person out there, it’s almost an honor to be receiving an unprompted hug from him. Whether his hugs are long or short depends on the occasion: If he’s proud of you for accomplishing something, then the hug will be rather short lived. Though, he might pick you up and spin you around until you’re dizzy. If you’re sad and need some comfort then his hugs could last a while. He’s not the best with words, he prefers to listen to other people, but if he knows a hug is what usually helps you then he’s willing to do so. Despite being a big and strong lad his hugs are surprisingly gentle, he’s worried about crushing you. He could put his all into them, but then you’d likely end up with a few broken ribs and he doesn’t want that to happen. König is also surprisingly warm, so receiving a hug from him is a rare, but nice experience. Although he does go rigid at the beginning, not knowing what to do, but relaxes into the hug eventually.

Again, he’s not a very physically affectionate person, but isn’t opposed to the occasional peck on the cheek or on your lips either. There is some anxiety whether you’d actually want a kiss from him or not, so he doesn’t kiss you very often, even if you do reassure him that it’s quite alright. He’s a bit tense at first when he presses a kiss to your lips, but calms down eventually. It’s especially bad during the beginning of your relationship, but he’s since gotten better at being calm about it. Since there’s a good chance he’s taller than you he loves giving you a kiss on the forehead. It’s a small but sweet gesture. He doesn’t need to bend down entirely to reach you but he still gets to be affectionate with you. However, if you’re on the taller side, or just as tall as he is, then he’d love to receive kisses to his temple from you. It makes him smile every time you do it. If he’s in the mood for receiving a kiss then he’ll lay his head on your shoulder and nudge you a bit. Or try to get his head in your closer vicinity. Kind of like that one bunny video where the bunny stretches to receive some kisses.

Cuddles with him are a bit more common than hugs actually. However, he refuses to lay down on top of you. If you’re shorter and weaker than him then there’s no chance he’ll put his weight on you, he’s just that afraid of hurting you. If you’re taller or just more muscular, then he might, but he’s still a rather heavy lad. Most he’ll do is put his head on your shoulder while you’re cuddling in bed and are both lying down. Although it’d be a lie to say he doesn’t want to be held. König is alright with being the one to hold you, but sometimes he would prefer to be the little spoon as well. That urge gets especially bad if you’re roughly the same size as him. Sometimes just nuzzling into your chest does the trick for him as well, though. Loves it when you run your fingers through his hair as he does so. Another thing he adores is you sleeping on his chest as he holds you. He gets to hold you close, he gets to protect you and he gets to doze off a bit himself, it’s bliss to him. Sometimes he leans down to press a kiss to your head and accidentally wakes you up like that. He feels bad about it and apologizes profusely, but does chuckle a bit when he sees your disheveled hair and your tired expression that shows you just woke up.

My name is [BRUTUS] and my name means [HEAVY] so with a [HEAVY] heart I'll guide this dagger Into the heart of my enemy

Something about having absolutely no choice in who you marry. About being literally forced by the law to spill blood - to accept this stranger as your husband over a man you truly care for or accept the fact that the man you love might die because you put him in danger. Something about risking becoming the wife of a man you've never even seen before a few minutes prior because you know anything would be better than putting your beloved in harm's way. Something about the trust inherent in that decision and in the way she speaks of it after. Truthfully, T'Pring doesn't know the captain and she doesn't know Spock. Either one of them could have taken her as their wife but she does know Stonn. She knows that Stonn will remain by her side no matter what. They made a plan together. They have an agreement which T'Pring believes will be upheld even though the plan changed with the arrival of Kirk. Stonn will always be there, always, and Stonn will be hers. Something about the language used around T'Pring: Ownership, subservience, non-personhood. T'Pring is an object that Spock can win. She cannot reject him, she has no say in the matter other than having Stonn 'claim' her instead. Even when Spock leaves after being very clearly rejected by T'Pring he says "Stonn, she is yours." as if despite her clear rejection he still owns her and is must formally 'give' her to Stonn. But the language T'Pring uses around Stonn is a break from that: "There was Stonn who wanted very much to be my consort, and I wanted him." Stonn who wanted very much to be HER consort and she WANTED him. The language here is very particular - It's not, for example: "Stonn wanted me to be his wife" - he is HERS. And she WANTS him. There's a mutual affection there and a strong trust - a trust which seems to be well founded since Stonn (though silent) stands by her side at the end of the episode. <- That might seem small but if Spock would reject her for 'daring to challenge' (again, the language is not 'because I don't want you' but more of an implied disgust at her having the AUDACITY to reject him) then it's not a stretch to assume that it'd be considered an insult in the TOS Vulcan society to NOT choose Stonn as her champion after a prior agreement. Anyway T'Pring was a woman in an impossible situation within a society which saw her as more of an object than a person and she wanted Stonn and Stonn wanted to be hers and she trusted that he would understand if she had to publicly pick someone else to ensure his life would be spared and he did understand.

i ache for katara so deeply, she deserves so much better than her canon fate. i cannot express in words how much her story and how the fandom views/treats her physically hurts me

ignore the fact i disappeared that was simple winter hibernation ( still sick and coughing out my lungs btw )

for a basically nonexistent context it’s currently 1:50 am my paper is literally just on my mattress hello hard surface who and this is the most abhorrent lighting and i COOKED (dubious) 🔥🔥🔥‼️🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🌶️🌶️✨🌶️😋😋🌶️😋😋🥺🥺💖💖✨✨

one of my ocs grgrggrjekslalksj I need to talk about them more on here nyways yeah uhm bye read the tags thanks

G'raha looked so serious while he pleaded his case to venture into the World of Darkness with the Warrior of Light. The sudden conviction in his tone had Arsay at a loss for words. Still, she did not hesitate to meet his request with an accepting nod. He was an important friend and in the passing moons that they'd come to know each other, a strong fondness for him had taken hold of her. The prospect of helping G'raha find the truth behind his mysterious inheritance made Arsay's heart pound. It was the perfect venture for them to embark on. The first of many, she hoped. The two turned towards the impossibly tall spire that dared to pierce the heavens above. Arsay's resolve strengthened in its presence. When they next find themselves gazing at the tower -with their quest completed and the world no longer under threat of total destruction- she'll properly ask G'raha to be a companion in her travels. A grin crept its way onto her face as her gaze shifted to him. If Arsay could find it within herself to bare her heart to others so readily just as he does… perhaps their future adventures will find them together, hand in hand.

month-long chronic insomnia flareup got me acting a BIT too HDB-esk so I drew myself some Kims. I have cracked it! (The case of 'how to draw this MF')

feat one Harry, ECHEM, and Kineema that I fucking made up from memory because im not studying that beast

Calling my own readers out on AO3. I wish I didn't have to do this. I've been sharing fics online for 20 years and it's never been this bad. It's always been bad, but 10 years ago, you at least got 5% of readers giving a shit.

This current fic is one of the most popular I've ever written. It's got close to 300 subscribers, and every time I update, the hits go up by a 1,000 within a week or two. I shouldn't have to beg in my notes so that more than 10 people will actually engage with me.

Fic writing was all about sharing & discussing, once upon a time. It was a community. It was not about shaming writers for being upset over low engagement. I spend an average of 20 hours working on each of my chapters. That's almost a whole day. So yes I am going to be sad and upset when I see hundreds of people reading, yet barely a dozen of them acknowledge me. Ask me how my imposter syndrome reacts to low engagement.

It thrives, I don't.

Be kind to your fic writers. Engage. Write comments.

HOLD FAST MOM???????????

The only thing that kept me going was knowing you were here.

I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]

Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)

Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]

(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)

LIKE!!!!!!!

Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.

I am once again losing my mind.

This time: I went to look up references of Varric, and just typed "Varric Tethras" into the search bar. I was going to just tab over immediately to the images section, eyes barely glancing over the obvious top-result fandom wiki, then (more entertainingly, but still expected) Wikipedia link-

but. but the next one.

GOODREADS??

.... There's absolutely no tongue-in-cheek in the entry either.

(of course I immediately clicked on it who do you think I am)

There are 3 quotes from him relating to storytelling, both from 2 and Inquisition, as well as a book attribution:

The Dragon Age Novel Edition of Hard in Hightown.

ATTRIBUTED TO VARRIC TETHRAS.

with Mary Kirby*~

Absolutely unblinkingly written summary/bio.

I love this with my whole heart. Varric you beautiful bastard -- and DA writers/editors (Mary Kirby very much most importantly included) you even more beautiful, dorky, wonderful bastards.

---

*if you're not in the know, Mary Kirby is a cornerstone of the DA writing team, including being the one who was in charge of Varric (and Merrill!). To say she's his "trusted human confidante" is certainly putting it one (delightful) way.

What are some of your favorite fanfics? You can only include up to 2 LB fics

I was going to wait to answer this in the morning because it's so daunting an ask. But I have to be in office tomorrow and I know I won't have the time, and then I'll forget about this. It's been a long time since anyone asked me my personal favorites.

I put some of them in yesterday's list of elucien recs, so definitely start here. I have to cross post a little, though. None of these are in order, this is actually not a ranking but the opposite of a ranking in which every one is incredible, and written by very wonderful people worth following.

playgirl, by @damedechance. I love this fic. Lucien has an only fans, Elain moderates his chat. She was the first gwynriel writer I ever read. You know I'm weird about Azriel- I don't really enjoy him, but in bookclub, her fic was being recommended CONSTANTLY and I gave it a shot thinking I'd hate it, and she made me insane. The gwynriel fic is Things You Can't Have, and I suggest reading it, too.

Latch, My Fate is Yours; Latch, My Very Soul is Yours by @labellefleur-sauvage. Elucien mummy au and so beautifully done. The author is also an VERY funny person and I recommend anything she writes (such as her 1920's Neris fic And All That Jazz) on vibes alone.

Our Bodies, Possessed By Light @iftheshoef1tz. Azris at its FINEST. If you like Azriel and Eris as a pairing, and you want something that is both achingly beautiful and well-plotted, this is it. This is the fic. Honestly, even if you don't want that, you should read it anyway. It's sexy, it's funny, it's emotional and it's poetic. I think about this fic (the cabin specifically because I'm slutty) all the time.

Crimson Clover, by @thesistersarcheron. Baby's first elriel fic, I heard the sentence "Elain covered in blood" and dropped everything I was doing to learn more. Elain is, in fact, covered in blood and Azriel is pretty insane about it. This author also has a fic bookclub is obsessed with, Viciousness & Intelligence which is Nesta x Cassian x Azriel in a poly bond and another of my personal favorites, Bejeweled in which Feyre is Night Court fae made entirely of jewels and Rhys is...well...down bad as he always is.

Embers, by @ultadverb is my favorite Morlain fic in the fandom. It's so richly written and such a good exploration of Elain and her feelings. She really does Elain such justice. I have it on VERY good authority she's also working on a little monster elucien, and right after I typed that I saw she's actually posted the first chapter, Seven Tears for the Sea, which is selkie Lucien, coastal Elain, I believe. I will be reading that for sure, just as soon as I finish this list, but everyone else should too!

I Believe the Word You're Looking for is "Friends" by @kingofsummer93. Truly Elucien 101 required reading. It's actually on the made-up syllabus I just created in my mind. If you're wanting to settle into a long fic, canon-compliant, adventure fic, THIS is it. Also, people are always asking for BOE smut, well she has so GRACIOUSLY provided it with The Intimacy of Being Understood

Remember, We're Madly In Love by @velidewrites. Have you ever seen one of those really gorgeous mood boards floating around and asked yourself, is that person also an incredibly sexy writer, too? Well I'm here to answer that question with a resounding YES. This is hunger games Feysand and if you've been thinking about reading it, stop thinking and start doing. I don't know when I became a sales person during this sharing of faves, but here we are I guess.

Vanserra Wildlife Rescue by @headcanonheadcase. In the haze that was elucien week, where everyone was creating and I was trying so hard to see all of it (and failing miserably), this fic was a gem. It's meet cute Elucien- he's a wildlife vet, she finds an injured fox. They're both on their way to a blind date (I wonder who they're meeting), and instead cancel to take care of the fox.

Can't Help It by @moodymelanist. This fic was literally why I decided to answer this anon. Nesta and Cassian are in a very toxic relationship but can't keep away from each other. I LOVE this fic, I love their dynamic and without spoiling it, there is a threesome I am still so deeply unwell about, even to this day.

Wonderland by @c-e-d-dreamer. The premise is SO GOOD. Nesta rejects the mating bond and Cassian rejects society. They reconnect later on, and the angst is SO DELICIOUS.

This list is getting really long- I could do this all day, actually. As for my top two @the-lonelybarricade favorites, which is cruel just fyi.

I'm gonna go with

You Look Like Bad News- Elain's neighbor has an annoying habit of fucking REALLY loudly next door.

And of course,

They Are The Hunters, We Are The Foxes, which is the best thing ever produced in the history of ever. Wonderland WHO? This is the shifter elucien romance we deserved, actually.

yaz voice: i keep thinking,,, i keep thinking abt the.....future affecting the past of it all. the "if he runs out of time the hostile action would end and a time machine would know", "im fine because you fixed yourself", and "because it's not a grave"

like if it were me. if it were me. i still would have gone with the villa diodati conundrum. "save the poet, save the universe" what do we do when the poet IS the universe. "watch people burn now or tomorrow" like the distinction exists? like tomorrow isnt yesterday?

so we make them face the child. the doctor loses this one, right? too beholden to their rules. lost with shelley, will lose with the child. because there is no way to win it. not with the rules of the universe theyve clung to up to this point. not without play

so theres a child that needs to be saved but the doctor cant do it because it will take the foundation out from under the universe. she Can Not interfere. she fails to be the doctor when it comes to herself. but yaz is there. doctor's doctor. wont accept this. saves the child

the universe crumbles, but this or tecteun's revenge the outcome is similar except. the universe that crumbles if you save the child is the timelords' universe, their imposed histories, their laws, their logic. nothing makes sense anymore. it's terrifying. gotta let go gotta let go gotta let go. you HAVE to play. play or perish. please it's not that serious. it's just identity! funniest game there is. listen to the master; tag, youre it