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seungmoonandstars · 6 months

Text

𝒮𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒹 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝑒

Kim Seungmin/Female Reader

wc: 7.1k

rating: Mature, NON-explicit (part 2)

→ PART ONE

Part 2 of 4

The sun is coming through the trees and leaving freckles of light over Seungmin’s face and chest. His eyes are closed, hands propping him up as he leans back and stares up at the sky.

You’ve been meaning to ask the question bouncing around in your head for several minutes, but you can’t stop staring at him like this. You reach out and gently shake his foot until he looks at you.

“Hey, sorry…I didn’t mean to get quiet.”

- Seungmin is tired.

Car rides are his worst enemy if he’s trying to stay awake, especially if he ends up in the backseat. His head keeps swaying side to side. The ride is far too smooth, and he feels like a baby being lulled to sleep.

The car turns left, then right, then right again. He doesn’t need to feel it come to a stop to know he’s home.

As happy as he is to finally be done with traveling—for now, he doesn’t think he has the energy to get himself back on two feet.

He hits his neatly made bed immediately. No unpacking, no snack, no checking text messages. There is zero time between thinking about sleep and passing out; there is only a deep dreamless sleep.

____

It’s dark and warm in his room when he wakes up. His eyes stay closed tight, but he can feel how late it is. He knows he’s been sleeping far too long. Nobody bothered waking him for dinner or checking up on him, because that would have been useless. He doesn’t even mind that he missed the Giants game.

He feels much better now, until he looks down at his phone to check the time. The first problem is it’s already past midnight. The second problem is he has 43 notifications to open.

Seungmin scans over them to see if he missed anything important. Most of them look deletable, but a few he duly notes, and definitely needs to answer in the morning.

He opens the text from Choonhee, though.

Are you here for the long weekend?

He doesn’t mind texting her this late. He sends back a quick response without much thought: “I’m here until Wednesday!

Time to shower and eat.

Seungmin stands in the shower for a good fifteen minutes—clearing his mind, easing the tension he always holds in his shoulders— before finally, somewhere in the back of his memory, the part where he puts things and never ever remembers them…he remembers something.

“Oh…” he cups his face in his hands and scrubs at his cheeks, “shit.”

He takes his time getting out. An extra half an hour accidentally ignoring you isn’t going to make much of a difference now. Hair gets dried; fresh clothes thrown on. He clicks the fan in his bedroom so it pushes the warm air around. The cool night air is at least trying to find it’s way in.

Now he notices how hungry he is. Might as well find something in the kitchen before getting into a conversation. One that goes well, hopefully.

A bowl of oi-muchim, a beer, and his phone in hand, Seungmin makes himself comfortable on the couch. He pulls up Choonhee’s text messages again and hopes she still awake…

“Is it too late to text her? Do you think she’s up?”

He sends it off and tries not to watch his phone for her reply. He clicks the tv on and eats, but before his second bite, his phone goes off.

She won’t mind if it’s you

Seungmin hopes Choonhee’s right. And hopes you’ll still actually want to speak after two months of accidental silence.

Now he puts his food down, drinks some of his beer, and thinks…”what am I supposed to say at one in the morning?” He mumbles it to himself. But he starts typing anyway, letting his thumbs and his heart do the work. If he thinks too much, nothing will ever come out.

“Hey, I’m sorry I’m texting you so late. And also sorry for not getting back to you sooner. I hope you can forgive me. I’m in town for a few days if you’re interested in seeing each other.”

He reads it and rereads it. Then sends it away. It’s the best he can do.

The rest of the night is nothing but a long wait. The nap he took served perfectly as a good nights sleep, so the next few hours are spent catching up on baseball highlights, finishing a drama, and then silently obsessing over whether or not he’ll get a text back while a new show plays out in front of him .

At 7:30, Seungmin’s phone buzzes in his hand. He’s sound asleep, but still holding onto it. It wakes him right away, but it takes a moment before he can remember where he is, and what he’s doing there. Too much sleep makes his head fuzzy, and yesterday and this morning must have been a combined eleven hours.

He looks at the notification and remembers. Only the name on the screen registers in his mind before he unlocks his phone and sits up. He shakes the sleep from his head and rubs his eyes before reading…

I would love to see you

A sigh of relief. You’re not mad. Seungmin’s heartbeat picks up in his chest as he types.

“Tonight? Or today. Any time is good.”

This reply takes a little longer. He gets up to change just in case he has to run out the door to meet you. Your reply comes a few minutes later. Seungmin reads it as he’s jumping into his shorts.

I’m free all day. Do you want to come over for breakfast?

“Come over for breakfast? Are you going to make me breakfast?” he thinks out loud. He’s hoping that’s what you mean.

“I’ll be there in an hour”

____

Your internal alarm hates you. At precisely 7:25, you’re awake. Even on the weekends, you can’t sleep in. It takes a couple of minutes before you can even think about moving, but the warmth in the room and the sun peeking in eventually forces you up. You can only take so much.

Your phone, charging on the nightstand, buzzes softly. Probably an email. It buzzes again. You thought you put it on sleep mode last night, but maybe not. It’s a miracle nothing woke you up. You grab it and unplug it…

Email Spam email Work email you never opened or cleared Instagram

Text from Seungmin

“Seungmin,” you say his name out loud in case you’re still a little bit asleep. Seungmin, who you haven’t had a text from in months; who has probably been very busy and very tired when he isn’t busy, sent you a text at one in the morning.

You open it quickly, butterflies in your stomach, and read. You read it a few times. His texts are always a little longer, never one or two words. And you always read him in his voice. You’ve listened to him singing and speaking enough now that you hear it in your sleep. You don’t have to think much about your reply.

“I would love to see you”

____

There’s little time to pick up the apartment and figure out what you’re going to make for him. You do your best with what little time you have. Shower, hair, makeup…outfit. You probably should have given yourself a little more time. Too late now, he’ll be on his way soon.

It’s been nearly seven months since your blind date, but it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. The time between his last text and today somehow felt longer. You feel like it’s going to be a first impression all over again, so you really want to give him your best. Maybe even better than last time, now that you know what you’re getting into.

In the kitchen, you start pulling things out to make, and you’re relieved to find you have something to cook for him.

You hope he likes American breakfast. You do know he likes coffee. Just a few days ago a care package came from your parents; coffee, snacks…things you miss from home. You pull out the bag of beans and start grinding.

Minutes later, or at least it feels like minutes, (the full hour, plus 20 extra minutes, has passed) you hear you phone buzz. Before you can get to it, the intercom buzzes. You grab your phone and run to the door.

“Hi I’m here”

You smile at his message and let him into the lobby before texting back, “543.” You’re surprised and a little flattered that he remembered where your building was and was confident enough to come without even confirming.

He sends a smiling emoji in reply.

Your back is against the door, eyes closed. Your picturing him walking to the elevator, pushing the button, waiting…

The elevator here is pretty slow…

He gets on and hits the 5th floor button. It comes straight up without stopping, considering the early hour. Everyone else in this building is definitely sleeping in. He turns right and walks, maybe a little hesitantly, toward your apartment, looks at the number on the door, then at your text.

He knocks gently. Three soft little knocks. You take in a deep breath; you’re more nervous than you thought you’d be. The deadbolt clicks.

When you crack the door he’s smiling down at you. You pull it open the rest of the way and stand there awkwardly for a moment. You feel like one of your eight-year-olds trying to find the right words in English. You stupidly breath out a wow and desperately hope he didn’t hear it

He stands there with one hand in the pocket of his shorts. The other hand is holding a paper bag. He swings it a little as he takes a careful step over your threshold.

“Morning.” You finally manage to say.

“Good morning,” he closes the door behind him, and his smile grows as he moves closer to you.

His face looks a little different. It’s been long enough that you’re thinking his braces have changed his smile, or maybe he’s just gotten older. The spring sun has turned his skin a few shades darker compared to October. His hair is dark and straight across his forehead; different then the last time you saw him. You’ve also gotten used to seeing him only in videos and photos. None of that does him justice. In front of you, he’s better—and you forgot how much better.

“Are you okay?” Seungmin reaches his hand toward you as if he’s going to touch your cheek, but he stops just short of you, and his hand falls slowly.

“Yeah, yeah…sorry,” you set your hand on your face where his hand should have been. “I uhhm,” you still can’t seem to find the right words. So much for a new first impression. Now what?

You put your other hand around his waist and pull yourself to him. You’re relieved when he reciprocates the embrace. He holds onto you for a while, not letting up on his grip.

“I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch.”

Even though you had plenty of old texts to return to; to re-convince yourself that Seungmin liked you and wanted to see you again, you still needed this physical reassurance. The last two months were a lot more lonely than you care to admit, and part of you was starting to let go.

“It’s okay, I know you’re busy.”

“Still a bad excuse.” He loosens his hold on you, but doesn’t let go completely. The bag he’s holding shakes a little in his hand. “I brought this for you.”

“Another gift? You’re making me look bad.” You slide away from his grip (very reluctantly) and head toward the kitchen.

“Well, you did make me coffee. It smells good.”

Seungmin follows closely behind. The kitchen is a little bit of a mess, but cooking and cleaning at the same time is not one of your strong suits. You grab a few things and toss them in the trash, the sink, the dishwasher. You don’t even realize he’s right behind you until you turn again to grab two clean glasses.

“I can bring you your coffee. It’s a mess in here, you don’t need to see this.”

“Oh I don’t mind. You are definitely a messy cook, though. You should clean as you go!”

“Believe me, I try.” You pour the cooled coffee into a glass over ice. “I hope you like this…have you ever had Kona coffee?”

Seungmin shakes his head and smiles. You briefly wonder if he realizes how cute it is, then you pour some for yourself, “I’m sure you’ll like it.” He takes it from you and follows as you lead him out of the kitchen and into the living room.

You sit. He sits, and sips his coffee, then adjusts so he’s a little closer to you.

“How long have you been in town?” You bring your knees up to your chest and turn your body to him.

“I got in yesterday afternoon, but I fell asleep and woke up very late.”

“Oh, that explains the late text.”

“Yes, hopefully it didn’t wake you. Choonhee told me you wouldn’t mind if I texted you so late.”

“It didn’t wake me up. It was a nice surprise this morning.”

He’s bouncing his legs up and down; knees are moving together, then apart, then together again. A nervous tick, maybe. All you do know is that the movement of his thighs is distracting. You tear your eyes away, and when you do, he’s looking at you.

“How have you been?” He asks, and he’s not just making conversation. The way he speaks is sincere. “Anymore blind dates?” He whispers the last part.

“Oh, no…no,” you stare into your coffee and shake your head. “Nothing special, not since our date.”

He smiles, but says nothing.

“I did keep up with you. I caught a few of your lives, checked YouTube for new videos…”

Seungmin laughs and lays his head back against the couch, “next time we don’t see each other for a while, I will call, and we can have a real live.”

“Is that a promise?”

He thinks for a moment, “yes, promise. I’ll be a better texter…also.” He adjusts and moves himself a little closer to you.

“I’ll take either.”

“I think I just…don’t know what to say sometimes. I don’t want to say something stupid, so I don’t say anything at all. And then I forget.”

“I don’t mind if you say something stupid.” You reach out and move a piece of hair out of Seungmin’s eyes. “I’d prefer it, actually. Then I can say something stupid back.”

He tilts his head and his hair falls back over his eyes. “Good to know.”

“Are you hungry?” You move his hair again.

He looks at you without answering for a very long moment. His eyes are impossibly big and dark; bottom lip a little bit red from biting down on it. Your eyes jump from the beauty mark on his cheek (you’re also thinking about how nice it is to finally see him again without makeup), to his eyes, his nose, his lips. His hair swings back down in front of his eyes.

He brings his hand up and attempts to fix his hair, but he just shakes his head again and smiles, “yes, I am. Very hungry.”

“I guess you can help me finish up,” you reach for his hand, which he happily takes, and lead him back to the kitchen. You prepped everything, but wanted it to be fresh when you sat down to eat.

“What are we having?” He looks at the counter. Four thick slices of bread and a bowl of something milky, eggs. “Oh these I can do,” Seungmin picks up an egg and holds it next to his face. “I can fry a good egg.”

“Okay, that’s your job.” You freshen his coffee while he examines the half dozen eggs in front of him. “Make however many you want.”

“Can I make all of them?”

“Yeah,” you laugh, “I have more if that’s not enough.”

“French toast?” He examines the milky batter next to the slices of bread. “I’ve had it before, but not for a very long time.”

“Is that okay? I can always make something else.” You turn the burner on low and let the pan get warm.

“No, I want to try your french toast.”

You reach for the butter, taking great care to reach around him by placing your hand on the belt of his shorts. He watches you closely as you dip each slice of bread into the batter, and when the butter melts completely, place them neatly in the pan.

“Nice sizzle,” he whispers. And then he laughs when you laugh. “Oh, I’m doing the eggs…” He turns his burner on low, butters his pan, and cracks four of the six eggs.

Seungmin looks at you, “I don’t want to crowd them.” He nods his head at two intact eggs. “They can wait.”

“You’re the expert.”

“They will be good, I promise.”

“Even if they’re bad, I’m sure I’ll love them.”

You hear him laugh as you tend to the French toast, shaking on the cinnamon, flipping them when they’re just crispy and brown. Seungmin ooohs at them as he seasons his eggs.

“Do you prefer maple syrup or…honey?”

“Hm?” He flips the eggs carefully and takes them off the heat before turning to the selection of toppings you’re setting out.

“Can you turn my burner off?”

He clicks it off, and Seungmin finds his way to the cupboard to get a plate. He gently sets his finished eggs onto it and cracks the remaining ones into the warm pan.

“Do you like maple syrup, or do you want honey?”

“Oh…maple syrup! And strawberries.”

“And whipped cream?”

“Dessert for breakfast…” he takes one of the strawberries and bites into it.

____

You have one dining table in your tiny apartment. It has two chairs, and it’s right next to the large picture window that sits just between the kitchen and the living room. Outside is a limited view of the city. It’s nice, though. And you can afford it.

Seungmin is watching the city slowly start to move, chin resting in the palm of his hand. He has a smile on his face–it’s very subtle on his lips, but not in his eyes. You made him sit while you got the rest of the food ready, and eventually, he listened.

“Is this enough strawberries?”

He looks at you first and smiles, then at his plate. “Yes, thank you,” he waits for you to sit before whispering jal meokgetseumnida and when you pick up your fork, he follows. Seungmin opted for maple syrup, strawberries, whipped cream. He goes for the whipped cream first, eating a forkful by itself.

“Did you make this, too?” He takes another bite of it, this time with a big piece of strawberry.

You nod.

“It’s very good, it’s not too sweet.” He cuts into his French toast now, getting a bite of all three at once.

“If everything is too sweet, it ruins it.”

“Sometimes…” he says in a singsong voice, almost a whisper.

You sneak glances at him between your own bites. He’s a quiet eater this morning, but you’re comfortable sitting there with him in the silence.

“How has work been?”

“Kind of crazy.” He takes a drink of his coffee, “we will be in Japan in two weeks, and then to the US after that.” Seungmin nods to himself and divides the four eggs between you.

They do look perfect and exactly how you usually make them. Over-easy. “That’s exciting…but I’m sure it’s very exhausting.”

He picks one up and shoves the entire thing in his mouth. You can tell he wants to speak as soon as he does it, but he chews patiently. “I wouldn’t want to do anything else, but some days it is a lot. And very tiring.”

He rests his face in his hands again. He finished his food. Now he’s looking at you with the same tired eyes he’s given you before.

“Thank you for making time for me.” You say.

He sits back in his seat, smiles, shakes his head a little.

You look at him questioningly. His mannerism are cute, but you’re not quite sure how to interpret them sometimes. “What is it?”

“I’m happy to be here.”

“You are?” When you stand to clean off the table, he stands with you to help. You let him.

“Yes,” he bites into another strawberry when he gets to kitchen sink with his dishes. “I like you. You're...you're relaxing to be around. I don't feel any pressure here."

You look at him and smile, unsure of how to respond at first. "Thank you." It's not enough of a reply, you know that, but you're a little lost for words.

"Is that a weird thing to say?"

"No! Not at all. It might be the sweetest complement a date has ever given me."

Seungmin follows you wordlessly to the living room, and sits when you sit. You move a little closer to him and relax, hoping he continues to mimic you. And he does.

“Can I ask you something…um,” he purses his lips as he thinks, covers his cheeks with his hands. “Something personal I guess. Kind of. Maybe not really personal but-”

“Yes, of course you can.” You take one of his hands away from his face and hold it in yours. It’s starting to feel like the first date, except now he seems a little different than last time. Maybe he’s worn out from performing. Maybe it’s just an off day.

He’s looking down at his hand clasped in yours, “do you ever feel like, um…I guess it’s hard to put into English.”

“That’s okay, we can use whatever words feel best for you.”

Seungmin can’t help but smile at that, and a tiny laugh escapes. “I almost forgot, you teach kids. You do sound like a teacher.”

“Oh, I’m sorry! I mean…whichever language.” You pull his hand closer to you and put your other hand over it. “I’m sure between us we can figure it out.”

“You’re so sweet.”

“What’s bothering you?” You squeeze his hands even harder.

“I don’t know if you will, but if you ever meet my friends…the other members.” He stops for a moment to look at you.

You nod at him, but at the same time you’re completely unprepared for that statement. Meeting his friends? It's a big jump from where you're at right now.

“I guess I’m worried you might like them more than you like me.” His head falls back on the couch and he covers his eyes with his free hand. He sighs loudly.

“Why would you think that?” You pull him closer and shake him a little, “Seungmin…Seungmin, what do they call you when they don’t call you Seungmin?”

You get him to laugh, at least.

“Minnie,” he looks at you through his fingers. He says it again under his breath. “Min…puppy.”

“Puppy?” you scoot even closer to him, until you can almost set your chin on his shoulder. "Puppy."

He closes the gap a little.

Your forehead is almost touching his. You hold his eyes there. Then you kiss the bridge of his nose.

He leans forward and sets his head in the space between your neck and shoulder. His hair is tickling your ear, and his lips are brushing against your skin. You’re certain he can hear your blood pumping through your veins.

He lets out a long sigh. You don’t really want to say anything, you’d prefer it if the two of you could just stay like this for a little bit longer. And suddenly thinking of him leaving again (for another six months, maybe) gives you a horrible sinking feeling in your stomach.

But you need to talk to him.

“Why do you think that?”

He’s quiet for a few seconds as he searches for the right words. “There are eight of us…and sometimes I end up feeling, uhm…”

There's a long pause while you both think. He's searching for the words; you're searching his mind and his face.

”Do you feel like you're stuck behind everyone sometimes?” You think that’s what he’s getting at. You can see it in his eyes.

”Yes, I guess so. I mean, I know I am not as popular.”

It’s a hard comment for you to respond to, but the sad smile on his face makes you a little angry. Not at him, just at every single person outside of your apartment.

“Well, you’re my favorite.”

A hesitant smile appears.

Your hands close around either side of his face, and you graze your fingertips over his ears, “I’m sure the others are great, and I’m sure I could be friends with them someday...but they’re not you, and I already told you we wouldn’t make very good friends.”

You’re not sure why him being vulnerable and honest is suddenly, making you so bold, but you’re not going to question it. He’s quiet and calm as you speak, so you must be doing something right.

“I wouldn’t want anyone else here with me.” You hope he believes you, but you also aren’t a stranger to the hesitant feelings he’s obviously processing. “And I wish you could stay.”

“I can stay today!”

____

Seungmin falls asleep on your couch again. This time, though, he’s lying comfortably with his face shoved into one of your pillows and his curled up legs are almost on your lap. It’s a small couch.

You put a movie on, but he didn’t last more than a half an hour. It’s been two hours now, and you really don’t want to wake him. You’re certain he’ll get up on his own soon.

The kitchen is clean, the movie is over. You’re a little tired yourself, honestly, but you don’t think you could fall asleep while he’s here and almost in your lap. He’s a quiet sleeper, and he’s hardly moved, but you can hear his big sighs every few times he exhales.

He shifts a little when your hand touches his leg, but he settles back down immediately, and is out again. Even when your palm slides over his skin, he doesn’t move.

The soft buzz of his phone doesn’t wake him, either. But it’s going off again, and it’s the third time. You’re wondering if it’s important, but you don’t want to pry.

You run your hand over his leg again. Still nothing. It goes off again—this time it’s ringing. You can see the name on the screen without looking very hard.

“Seungmin…” You whisper. This time you gently drag your fingertips across his skin. “Seungmin?”

A little groan. His leg stretches out across your thigh. You squeeze his calf a bit and he seems to react, but not enough, so you gently move him and get up.

“Seungmin?” You kneel down until you’re face to face with him. He looks so peaceful and content, and while you hate to disturb him, you’re kind of looking forward to him slowly waking up. Saying his name isn’t getting through, though, so you place the tip of your finger at his temple and lightly trace a line down the side of his face.

A raspy mmm is all you get in return.

You bury your fingers in his hair and comb through it, kneading into his scalp a little. “Minnie?” You move down toward his neck, knead a little more, this time into a soft part of his shoulder.

His eyes open slowly, eyelashes fluttering a bit as they readjust to the sunlight in the room. He looks around before his gaze settles on you, and for the briefest moment he seems lost. But then he remembers where he is, and he smiles at you.

“Hi,” his voice is sleepy and raspy, like he hasn’t used it in a long time. He closes his eyes again.

“No no, eyes open.”

“I’m awake,” he mumbles.

“Look at me,” you lean toward his face until your noses are almost touching.

Eyes open again and he blinks a few times. “Are you gonna kiss me?” He asks, and the sleepiness in his voice is unbearable.

Yes, if he wants you to, you will kiss him. You lick your lips. But first, “your mom is calling you.”

“Oh, she’s probably wondering why she hasn’t seen me since I got home.”

“Do you want me to call and tell her you’re busy?”

Seungmin laughs and finally seems to be fully awake. He shakes his head and slowly sits himself up. “Do I have bedhead?” He rubs his eyes and runs his hands through his hair.

“A little bit.” You comb a hand through it and fix his part, “it’s cute, though.”

“Nooo it’s not,” he flattens it more and lays back against the couch. “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”

“You apologize too much.”

“Do I?”

You nod and sit down next to him, “I’m glad you were comfortable enough here to fall asleep.”

“Did I snore?” He looks a little embarrassed.

“No, you were pretty quiet. You kicked a few times, though.”

He almost apologizes, but stops himself and picks up his phone. He reads through his messages and eventually types a reply to one of them. Then he turns to you, “what should we do now that I’m well rested? Are you tired?” He throws his phone down and turns the rest of his body to you, “did you sleep at all?”

“I didn’t sleep, but I’m fine.”

“Maybe you should rest,” he smiles and tilts his head. “I can leave for a while and come back, if you’d like.”

“No, I don’t want you to leave.”

He nods, “We can try another movie,” Seungmin relaxes on the couch, pillow at his side, and extends an arm. “And if you fall asleep, we’ll be even.”

You stare at him for a long moment. It’s not until he beckons you with his hand that you realize it’s an invitation to cuddle up to him. And you take it without another moment of hesitation.

Your cheek settles against his chest, open hand spread out over his stomach. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you in a little tighter.

“Are you comfortable?” He grazes his fingertips over your forearm, very slowly, as if he’s still testing the limit of touch between you.

“I am.” You feel the goosebumps jump up on your skin, and Seungmin runs his fingers over you again, like he notices.

He does notice. You hear a breathy little laugh come from him. “Good.”

Now you think you could definitely fall asleep. He’s warm, but a good warm; not like the summer heat moving around the room. You push your face further into the space under his arm and inhale.

“What should we try to watch? Maybe something funny.”

He browses through Netflix. Meanwhile, you can feel yourself slowly slipping into sleep. But you don’t want to fall asleep. Sleeping now would just be wasted time with Seungmin, so you adjust yourself and sit up a little more.

He sits up, too. His eyes are big and a little worried.

“I don’t want to fall asleep.”

“Okay, how can we keep you awake then?”

You stare at him thoughtlessly for a few seconds. Then you feel like maybe you’re blushing because he probably (probably?) isn’t thinking the same thing your sexually frustrated mind is thinking. Now you can’t get the thought out of your head. You try not to breath out like you’ve just been holding your breath for too long.

He grins a little, so you think the thought may have crossed his mind after he said it. But he stays quiet.

“Maybe we can…go for a walk,” you say it as you exhale and then take a steady breath in. At the same time, your brain is slowly unbuckling his belt and lifting his shirt. “We should go for a walk.”

“Okay, that sounds nice.”

____

It’s warm out, but not enough to be uncomfortable.

You changed into something to show a little more skin, because you might as well try to get his mind where yours is. He may not even be interested in going there.

“So, are you allowed to date yet?” It comes out before you even decide if it’s a good thing to bring up.

Seungmin giggles. You look at him and see him covering his mouth with his hand, but the smile in his eyes is obvious.

“Sorry, that came out of nowhere��”

“It’s alright. You can ask me anything you want,” he shoves his hands in his pockets and slows his walk a bit.

“Okay, I’ll just throw questions at you as I think of them.”

“Good,” he stops and bounces on the balls of his feet, “ we should get some boba.”

You were already concerned about Seungmin being recognized on your walk, and going into a boba place seems like the most obvious way for him to be seen. But you’re not going to tell him no.

“Maybe I should go in and get us both something, it seems a little busy in there.”

“If that makes you feel better, yes.”

“It doesn’t. I just don’t want you to get any unwanted attention.”

“I think I’ll be okay,” He brushes his hand against your arm and leads you across the street. “I’m not as popular or recognizable as you might think.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“If nobody expects to see me, they’ll miss me,” he hops up on the curb like a kid. It feels like he becomes more and more relaxed as the day goes on. “But…” he pulls a black face mask from his back pocket and loops it around his ears. “I’ll be much happier if you’re more comfortable.”

____

The sun is coming through the trees and leaving freckles of light over Seungmin’s face and chest. His eyes are closed, hands propping him up as he leans back and stares up at the sky.

“Hey, sorry…I didn’t mean to get quiet.”

“I have a question.”

He sits up fully and smiles, “oh I never answered you before. No dating. Openly. Technically.” He says it like he’s not sure if he’s using his English words correctly. “Maybe that wasn’t the question.”

“It wasn’t, but I did want to know that, too.” You sip your drink and think about your question again. You had it ready to go, but Seungmin said the word openly and you lost it. “Do you know that I’m older than you?”

“No, I didn’t know. But I don’t mind.” He gets on his hands and knees and crawls closer to you. “If you don’t mind that I’m younger.”

A breeze picks up and his hair is swept across his forehead. He tousles it a little until his bangs fall back in front of his eyes.

You shake your head. “No, I don’t,” the question starts forming in your head again. “Would you ever consider dating, uhm, me? I mean, let’s say you weren’t who you are and we still somehow met. Is that something you’d…consider?

Seungmin looks at you, and his eyes have certainly never been this big before. His ears and cheeks are slowly turning red. And he’s quiet. His mouth opens a bit, but no words come out. You’re afraid you asked the stupidest question you could have possibly thought of.

You made it weird.

“You don’t have to answer. I’m sorry. Please pretend I never said that.” You lift your knees to your chest and bury your face in the space there. You whimper a little to yourself and hope he doesn’t hear it.

“That’s a tough one.”

You can’t see his face, but you can imagine it.

In reality, he’s thinking and playing with his straw. Still blushing, still smiling. If you’d just lift your head and look at him, you’d see that he’s unable to contain his smirk.

“Let’s go back to you looking up at the sky and me not talking.” You relax as much as possible and your back gently hits the grass. You spread yourself out, hoping to sink into the ground.

“No,” he sips his drink and leans back on one hand. “You asked, now it’s out there forever.”

You peek up at him briefly and see his face in the sun again; eyes closed but smirk still tugging at his lips. Quiet and thoughtful.

“Seungmin?”

No answer. You look back at the sky, but you can hear him moving and getting closer. His shadow blocks the sun from your eyes, so you open them.

“Yeah?”

“It’s okay if you wouldn’t.”

Still no answer. Your eyes close again, and then he lays down next to you. It’s a nice moment, or it would be. The birds are singing and there’s the sound of the wind through the trees. The only other people around are far enough away that you can barely hear them.

You feel like you could cry.

Maybe he just isn’t very good at letting people down. He can’t find the right words to tell you it would never work, and that’s understandable, really. He’s sweet and thoughtful and kind. He doesn’t want to hurt you. He just wants to be friends.

You cover you eyes with both hands and sigh as quietly as possible.

“I would, but…I don’t know…” he hmmms and uumms a few times. “Nobody has ever asked me out before.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“You don’t believe much.”

"If that's true, it's because you're intimidating."

"Me?" He's trying not to laugh. "I'm not intimidating! Am I? Is it my face? Do I look angry?"

"Okay, wrong word to use. You're too handsome to approach, I mean. I would have never, on my own, started a conversation with you had I seen you at that coffee shop by yourself."

Now you sit up and shade him from the sun. There’s a stray eyelash on his cheek, so you lean forward to gently blow it off.

His eyes flutter open. "I am not too handsome to approach." He whispers and lets himself laugh out loud.

“Okay fine…so I’m your first.”

“So you’re not taking it back?”

“You mentioned meeting your friends earlier. Did I interpret that wrong?”

He shakes his head.

“Then no, I guess I’m not taking it back.”

----

The trip back is not awkward. You expected him to keep his distance, physically and mentally, but he walks almost shoulder to shoulder with you the entire time. He hasn’t given you any type of answer yet, but you’re not worried about it. Part of you still wants to take it back and let things flow at a slower pace. This is, after all, only your second date. The other part of you is already on fire. It’s a tough line to walk.

Inside the apartment it’s gotten much warmer, and you regret not starting the AC before leaving. It’ll take forever to cool down now. You close the windows, lower the shades, and pull the curtains closed. Then you head to the couch and collapse onto it.

Seungmin makes himself at home by heading to the bathroom, then finding himself (and you) something cold to drink. You’re too distracted to even care that he’s digging around in your messy fridge.

“I forgot about this,” he grabs the bag from the side table and dangles it in front of his face. “Your gift.”

You sit up against the arm rest and smile at him, “thank you, Seungmin.” Inside is a small yellow dog plush. “Oh, it’s you!” You squeeze him and adjust the hoodie he’s wearing before bringing him up to your face. “Was he yours?”

“Yeah, he was mine.”

“He smells like you.”

“Is that a good thing?” He sits down by your folded legs and sets a hand just above your knee.

He’s touchy today...almost as much as you. And for never being properly asked out (now you wonder what else he hasn’t experienced), he knows just what to do to make you squirm.

You sit up a little more, bumping his hand off of you by mistake. He pulls it back a little, so you reach out and take it in yours. “Yeah, it is.”

He squeezes your hand and pulls you closer so he can place a kiss on your lips. You kiss back, but your brain takes a second to catch up with your mouth. When it finally does, you kiss hard enough to force him back against the couch.

Seungmin is better in action than he is with words today.

He doesn’t struggle against you or ease up, but pushes on with just as much enthusiasm.

You don’t know what to do with your hands, though. You have a lot of options. Through the hair? No. Neck? Maybe, but you don’t want to be too rough at this angle, and he might not be into that. Face? It’s a good option, and his cheeks are soft and nice to touch. And it's not too much.

Before you can decide, he takes your other hand and pulls until you have no choice but to swing a leg over his lap. And then his hands are on either side of your thighs.

You pull back and look at him.

He stares back, catching his breath. “I’m sorry I’m so bad at answering your questions.”

“You don’t have to.” You let your hands wander over his chest and down his sides. He squirms just a little; probably ticklish. When your hands settle on his belt, you lean in to kiss him again. On his lips, over his cheek. “I shouldn’t have put that on you.”

“I’m glad you did,” he looks down at your hands. “It was nice to be thought of like that. It felt good.”

“If I can see you again, that’s enough for me.”

“Is it?”

It really isn’t, but you decided on the walk back that anything with Seungmin would be okay. “If it’s what you can give me, yeah.”

Your needy, clingy heart feels like it’s crumbling, but you do your best to keep it from showing on your face.

“I can’t promise much, but I can try.”

You kiss him again, and without thinking it through properly; without thinking at all, really, you slide your fingers down and over the zipper of his shorts and feel the significant bulge that you somehow didn’t notice before.

Seungmin’s tiny oh and his hand wrapping around the offending wrist makes your stomach sink. His eyes are wide and fixed on you.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” you gently push yourself away from him and sit against the opposite side of the couch, hands covering your red face. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking…”

“It’s okay,” he giggles and adjusts himself, and you watch from behind one hand as he runs a palm between his thighs. “Please don’t be upset, you didn’t do anything wrong.” His voice softens as he speaks, and the last part is a barely audible whisper, “it was my fault.” But the grin on his face only sharpens. He’s looking down at his hands as they nervously fidget with the hem of his shorts.

“Was that uh, a first, too?” You regret asking it as soon as it leaves your mouth.

He doesn’t answer right away. You’re worried he feels embarrassed about it. And you feel weird for bringing it up. The urge to get closer to him is kept under control for now.

“It’s no big deal, Minnie…if it was.”

Using his nickname breaks him from his trance, and he looks at you, blinks, nods. “Yeah, it was.”

“Did you want that? I mean, when you pulled me on top of you.” Now you scoot a little closer. “You can give me boundaries.”

“I got caught up in the moment.” He starts, thinking and picking his words carefully. “But I did want to kiss you like that.”

“Got it,” closer still, until your knee is brushing against his thigh. “You can always stop me if I go overboard. Sometimes I can be too much.”

“Is that bad? Too much is sometimes nice.”

“I guess it depends…”

You lean forward until your forehead can lay on his shoulder. His cheek rests on your head. You stay that way until you feel yourself relaxing and drifting into a half-sleep.

“I think it’s time to rest.” You don’t move, but Seungmin lifts his head.

“That’s a good idea,” He grabs the pillow to his right and puts it on your side of the couch. “Do you want me to stay?”

You lay back on the couch and sigh. “Yeah, I do. If you want to.”

“I do…move over.”

#kim seungmin #skz fluff #skz seungmin #skz x you #kim seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x y/n #seungmin x you #seungmin x reader #seungmin x y/n #stray kids fluff #kim seungmin fluff #kim seungmin x you #skz x reader #skz smut

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drawing-prompt-s · 6 months

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Promphet update

Hey, I'll be gone for a little while longer but I wanted to give you guys an update because I know some of you have been concerned.

I moved out of the apartment and into a new unit today. This has a win and some losses.

The win is of course I am not at least no longer living with my roommate and basically her friends since those mfers should have paid rent for how nightly they're over. I live diagonal from her, but I will take what I can get. It also made the move easier.

Downside, she stole or destroyed basically everything of mine in the common areas that she could. What items she didn't just steal or use and never replace (and this goes for her friends/gusests as well), are thoroughly unusable. Aside from the most expensive at least - but I could have had her head on a spike for it.

But this damages ranges from now missing every cleaning product I owned (fabulosos, bleach, detergent, etc - so many etcs), to missing personal items or finding them in worse condition than they were left (my room was tiny, I only had so much room), to straight up just destroying my cookware or stealing it. She stole most of it and damaged pretty much all the rest - cookware less than a year old is now rusted beyond repair and had to be thrown out. I have one pot and 1 pan now everything else is missing. This coming from the girl who threw a whole fit in mediations about not wanting her things touched and separating our stuff out, only to help herself to using and destroying mine, of course).

On top of that she blatantly ignored mediation compromises and was just a general dick - even the maintenance men helping me move were commenting on it. After I realized she had stolen my things I didn't even want to both getting the food, but they told me to sit tight and they got what they could. She stole and kept most of my food as well, of course, because she got full dictation over what could and could not go.

The office provided me a $50 card to Walmart - which is nice because they're not technically responsible for anything of mine lost or stolen. But after the both the leasing and property managers came to talk to her the latter realized that this was going to go south quickly and decided to at least try and help cover some of my missing items. it wont be much of a dent considering Walmart prices, but it's a nicer gesture than I expected, and they got first hand experience with even a tip of her behavior that I have endured for the last 4 months.

4 months of this. I am so, so, so tired. I am certainly rambling but her and her friends did not let me get any sleep the night before. Which only made today worse - besides living off saltines and unsweetened apple sauce for more than a week (I ran out of the saltines 3 days ago - I splurged on take out with how hungry I was today though, and so I didn't pass out).

I am still made about the cookware though. Cookware is so expensive and most all of mine was gifted.

I can't sleep yet because I have to work, but god I want to. I am so tired. I have been so tired. I'm just crashing on the couch for the next few days.

2. Because I moved units today I was able to take Jolene to the vet and get her treated. She's doing good. A little mad at me for taking her and she got car sick, but she's cuddled up with me as I work and write this post. Looking sweet as can be and stealing my heart.

3. I feel like there was supposed to be a third part to this, and I started writing it, but for the last 4 months my mind has been fuzzy. Especially right now with the lack of sleep. So it just vanished from my head immediately. Sorry ya'll.

Give me a few more days and hopefully I'll be back good as new.

Your local, mostly friendly, eldritch Prompt Prophet

#promphet speaks #prompt prophet #promphet

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kaybreezy3000 · 4 months

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Bad Things (Five Hargreeves/Reader)

~Psychopathy is a neuropsychiatric disorder marked by deficient emotional responses, lack of empathy, the inability to distinguish between right and wrong, poor behavioral controls, and behaviors that contradict social norms which then commonly result in persistent antisocial deviance and criminal behavior.

Enter, Five Hargreeves, everyone's favorite little psycho.

(Chapters 5, 6, and 7)

-If you need to read this from the beginning hit the links below.

Link to Summary and Chapter 1 and 2

Link to Chapter 3

Link to Chapter 4

Warnings and tags: Mental disintegration, psychological trauma, effects of isolation, masturbation, non-consensual voyeurism, explicit sexual content, bondage, POV altering, touch starved, obsessive behavior, inanimate object love, and many other sexually deviant themes all mixed with a lovely twist that you will hopefully enjoy...

-this post is longer than the others. It is chapters 5-7 and this will complete this story as it is currently written. Thank you so much for reading this and for your support.

Chapter Five: Elastic Heart

(There will be a page break to make this more palatable and there will be a red page break added in chapter 4 to show the one P0V change near the end)

As Five cleans up his bathroom, he can only imagine what the girl is thinking right now, or why she did what she did and then let him go. She had no reason to want to help him. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t wrap his head around it or the fact that he’s scrubbing an astonishing amount of his own ejaculation off the sink, the counter, the faucet, and even the front of the cabinets. Even after seeing the evidence, Five still doesn’t remember abusing himself or his bathroom in such an embarrassingly demented way.

Hearing his front door click closed, Five instantly comes out with his dustpan full of broken glass in one hand, the broom in the other.

“What’d she say?” he anxiously asks, his pinched expression giving away his distress just as much as his clipped words.

Klaus comes in further and slowly sits down on the edge of Five’s bed, folding his hands in his lap as he glances at the ropes still tied to the wooden frame. His head shakes back and forth as he looks at Five, but not because he means it in a critical way. Other than a few well-deserved jaw drops as Five told him what happened, Klaus has been very understanding.

“She didn’t say anything. She wasn’t there.”

“Are you sure?” Five asks, clearly not accepting this answer.

“Well, no. I am not sure, but she didn’t answer her buzzer so she might not be there or she’s just choosing not to answer, which she has every right to do.”

Five doesn’t say anything, he just stands there, hands full, eyes darting around as he thinks.

“Someone needs to make sure she’s okay,” Five abruptly declares after a moment or two of silence.

“I know,” Klaus agrees. “But that person maybe shouldn’t be me, and it definitely shouldn’t be you. I can honestly say after what you said happened, I am also worried about her. The truth is though, she doesn’t really know you or me. I am not really surprised if she doesn’t want anything to do with this now that it’s over.”

Five knows that’s true but he looks miserable hearing it anyway.

“She may not have gone home,” Klaus adds. “You don’t know her phone number, and if she’s not going to answer the door, then this is all we can do. I am sorry. I left her a note with my number, but maybe it’s for the best to leave her be, you know…” Klaus rubs his hands together. He knows this is not the answer Five wants. “She’s probably just sleeping. You said she normally doesn’t get home from work till well after three am. On any other day, this would be when she'd be asleep, so that’s probably what she’s doing.”

“Klaus, after what I did to her, I doubt she went home and fell asleep. She’s probably scared out of her mind. She may have seemed in control and knew what she was doing, but I know what I saw and she’s not okay. She’s probably holed up over there, with my gun in her hands, just waiting for me to try to do something to her that's even more crazy than the shit I already did!”

“Sounds to me that she knew exactly what she was doing and why. She may have wanted to frighten you, but mostly she wanted to help you. If things went farther than you think she intended, then I am sure this chick is feeling a little messed up and confused about that, but she also clearly saw that despite what you did, you were worth trying to save. I think she took your gun so you didn’t do something bad to yourself, not because she thought you were going to come after her. She made it plenty clear she wasn’t scared of you when she rode you like a pony, humpity-hump dry fuck style, or when she let you go free. She also evidently didn’t call the cops and she isn’t going to if that’s what you are worried about.”

“I am worried about her, not me!” Five tries doing his deep breaths to calm down but it doesn’t help. “She is hurt, and I did that to her!” Five spats at his brother even though he’s not mad at him.

Klaus remains calmly unfazed. “She may have been upset when she left but what can we do?”

Not knowing how to reply to that, Five walks over to his kitchen, and dumps what’s left of his bathroom mirror in the garbage. Putting his cleaning stuff away, he slams the cabinet door too hard.

“Hey, just try to relax. Why don’t you just take a shower, get cleaned up and let’s get out of here? We can get some food. You can come back and rest, and if you feel like it, when you wake up, we can talk or yell about anything you want all night. We will have a nice brotherly sleep over with popcorn and…” Klaus glances around Five’s small apartment. “We won’t be able to watch romcoms, and that’s because you are a super big nerd who doesn’t’ have TV, but we can wrestle, and tickle fight, and make mystery potions out of your huge supply of fast-food seasoning packets and then we can dare each other to drink them. It will be great!”

The more Klaus says, the further Five’s brows draw together like he can’t fathom where his brother gets these bizarre ideas.

“Even if I had a TV, I would not watch romantic comedies, and we do not need to have a sleepover.”

“Okay. Maybe you’re more of a horror, Bates Motel, put the lotion in the basket, chainsaws, and skin suits kind of guy. I get that, and it totally makes sense all things considered, but it’s long overdue for us to have some bonding time. That giant ball of twine thing was great, but I know we can do way better than that.”

Now Five’s jaw is really working as he stands there leering at Klaus. “I know that I am horrible but are you seriously comparing me to Norman Bates, Buffalo Bill, and Leatherface?”

Klaus cocks his head, smiling innocently. “I’m just joking, bro. Of course, I don’t think you are the creepy Ed Gein, making lamps out of body parts kind of psycho. You’re the charming, get forcefully genetically altered, and manipulated into murdering for the time police, obsess and jerk it over your cute neighbor, and accidentally abduct her and then seduce her with your adorable broken-hearted handsomeness, kind of everyday lunatic.”

“That is not what happened.”

“Well, it kind of sounds like it to me.”

“I didn’t seduce her, I mean.”

Klaus just shrugs as he keeps smiling at Five. “Yeah, it sounds like you did. Chicks don’t just frot up on your hot rod to help you get off for no reason. By the sounds of it, she had already put you in your place at that point, and doing that, and getting as into it as much you did means it was something else entirely.”

Five stops fidgeting with his cuffs long enough to point an angry finger at his chest. “It means that she took pity on me because I am just that appallingly pitiful.”

Klaus leans forward, his hands palm out in a calming gesture. “Five, no. It doesn’t mean that. Not from the way you said it happened. She did that of her own free will, and if she’s not okay with it, there is nothing we can do about it.”

Five throws his hands back through his tangled hair as he begins to pace. “I know I can’t do shit about it. I can’t do anything right! Ever!”

Seeing that his brother isn’t taking this well, Klaus takes a different approach.

“That is also not true. You are being too hard on yourself.”

“Sure,” Five animatedly barks as he flails his arms around before stopping to stare at the girl’s empty dish sitting on top of his books.”

Klaus’s eyes follow Five’s as he says, “Look at this way. Several very good things came out of what happened, but the most important is that you are willing to get help. My buddy John is all set up to meet with you on Monday and we just need to get through till then. I need to know that you are okay, and I don’t want to leave until I know you’ve had the chance to talk with someone better than me about all this.”

With a heavy sigh, Five picks up the dirty plate and looks up at his brother who is cautiously watching him still like he’s a bomb about to explode.

“Klaus, I am not going to run, and I am doing anything reckless. I already did that. I know I am beyond fucking nuts, but I get that loud and clear now. There is seriously very little left that I can do at this point that would be worse than what I have already done.”

Five can’t help it when his attention goes back to his window as he tries again to see signs of life next door but he gets nothing other than the dark behind her curtains.

“I appreciate the offer, but you can go. I will be fine. No skin suit making or anything else weird going on over here from now on,” Five distractedly promises.

“I know you will be fine. You can get through anything, but I am not leaving you to do it alone this time, not unless you make me. But be prepared if you want to have a tussle about it, I am not as wimpy as I look. I am not going down easy and I am not holding back when I unleash the biggest can of whoop ass you’ve ever seen.”

Five looks back, his mouth drawn in a hardline before he speaks. “Klaus, I know that if you set your mind to it, you can be quite the force to reckon with, but as much as you are irritating me, and how fun it would be to make you eat your words, I am not fighting with you. So, stop asking for it with all this Normal Bates comparison shit. Just get it through that big curly-haired head of yours, I don’t need a babysitter. I won’t do anything bad.”

Five glances out the window again.

Klaus leans back on Five’s bed, stretching his long legs out as he makes himself more comfortable. “I know you won’t do anything when it comes to her other than sit over here and worry and feel awful, but last night you proved that you do need a babysitter till you talk to someone professional. It’s not good to sit here alone and wallow in your dark thoughts and I know you are having them and can’t help it.”

Five silently concedes to that one, again, his eyes moving to the windows like he’s drawn to them like a magnet.

“You can’t keep looking over there, man. No matter what your intentions are, it’s not healthy. That’s how all this started. We can go stay at my friend’s place if that would help. I know he won’t mind another good-looking Hargreeves hanging around.”

“I know I can’t keep doing this, but there’s no way I am going to your fuck friend’s place with you. That is not a long-term option. I should just move and what is in my brain that makes me this way is permeant, no professional can change what I have become. This is all a waste of your time. You should just run and don't look back. I am a monster, but I swear I won't hurt anyone else. I just won't leave the house any more,” Five mumbles as he clears the small distance between him and the kitchen.

He drops the plate in his sink then moves to the window, abruptly throwing the blinds down. The move blocks out all natural light other than the bright beams shooting in from the edges of the brittle vinyl pull downs.

“Uh-oh!” Klaus laughs as he swiftly throws himself out of Five’s bed and starts staggering towards him in the dark, arms stretched like he’s blind.

“What the hell are you doing?” Five questions as he watches his brother coming for him.

“I am scared of the dark, remember,” Klaus giggles. “And, hiding in your house or moving are options, but they won’t help silence the lambs unless you deal with them.” Klaus trips over Five’s dress shoes but isn’t deterred as he lunges for him. “Help, Fivey! I can hear them crying! Hold me and we can make them stop together!”

Five dodges Klaus’s ambush, flipping on the switch to the corroded brass chandelier above his table. In the yellow light beaming down on him in his exceptionally disheveled state with his vest still hanging open and the rest of his expensive dress clothes bloodied and rumbled, Five looks every bit the part of the psycho.

He purposefully cocks his chin at Klaus as the corners of his mouth turn up in a very menacing looking smile.

“Be careful, Clarice,” he smoothly warns. Klaus’s big blue eyes grow even wider as Five slowly steps closer. “They once sent a census taker to my door, and he dared to test me just like you are doing, so I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

Klaus bursts out laughing. “Do you have some fava beans and chianti? We can totally add that to our sleepover snacks. You can have the beans and I’ll have all the chianti since you are never ever drinking again. And just for fun I’ll even tie you to your bed and force feed you if you really want to get freaky like you like!”

Five glares at him. “You are really going to make me regret telling you everything she did to me, aren’t you.”

“Hey, you are the intelligent psycho Hannibal Lecter kind of guy minus the cannibalism, and having these delightful tie downs all ready to go are too fun to waste. You obviously like being dominated, and I am more than willing to tie you up and take advantage of you by sticking straws up your nose, and putting makeup on you so you look even more cute when you’re screaming at me to let you go.”

“No thanks, I think I’m good with just the simple brotherly popcorn picnic and sauce packet challenge. No tie down domination needed. My unintended captive proved to be an extremely competent master of mind and body fucks, so I think I got that out of my system for a little while.”

“See,” Klaus says with a boisterous laugh as he comes over to Five and puts an arm around his shoulder. “You are capable of being funny. I told Diego you were. Now, go wash off your wickedly debauched and somewhat less virginal dickie pickle. I am not running from you, you scary little bastard, and you are stuck with me till Monday. I am not taking no for an answer, so off with you boy!” Klaus theatrically commands while giving Five a swift slap on the ass.

To add to Klaus’s amusement, instead of getting mad about it, Five obediently takes off to the bathroom without any of his normal back talk.

Hearing the sound of the shower, Klaus flops down on Five’s bed chuckling. “Submissive little Fivey…. Who knew?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After showering, Five comes out with a towel around his waist, yanks open a dresser drawer pulling out whatever is on top.

“Holy shit,” Klaus gasps as he sets down Five’s book on theoretical physics that he had been looking at upside down. “I had no idea you had any non-dress clothes. You look really nice in casual gear.”

“No, I don’t,” Five says, then sits down on his bed next to him wearing black sweats and a matching hoodie as he begins putting on a very normal looking pair of black running shoes.

“Sure, you do,” Klaus pauses, then smirks, “you look like any other super hungover young dude that just rolled out of bed mid-day on a Saturday.”

“Great,” Five dryly responds, eyeing him from under the fringe of damp hair hanging over his face.

“You want to try that breakfast place I was telling you about? I have like-” Klaus begins digging around in the front of his stretch pants because he has no pockets. “Oh yeah,” he laughs as he readjusts is dick, “I blew my wad and most of my funds last night clubbing. I have like ten dollars, but I’ll buy you a donut or two and another coffee?”

“I think having zero social life and living in a shit hole affords me enough extra cash to buy you breakfast,” Five says, standing up to show Klaus he is ready to go. Five offers his hand. “Come on, I owe you, but I also need to ask you to help me with something else other than making sure I don’t go off the deep end all alone over here in my fucked-up fantasy world of fake relationships.”

Klaus reaches for Five but when he does Five pulls away and smirks.

“You little shit heel,” Klaus laughs.

“Yup,” Five agrees as Klaus quickly rolls himself out of bed.

“What do you need help with?”

Five suddenly looks down at the floor, his face looking resigned yet somehow also completely miserable, much like it did when Klaus got here.

“I know I have done some very dumb shit and I have no right to ask anything of you, but I don’t know if I can do this alone,” he quietly explains, all play gone again.

“Whatever you want, Five. I am all in, you know that.”

“I know, but you shouldn’t be,” Five replies, followed by a deep breath and a light mist to his eyes.

Five tries to push aside the overwhelming sorrow that has been threatening to take him down all morning, but he can’t even begin to at this point. He looks back up, determinedly meeting his brother’s even more concerned eyes, hating that he’s the reason Klaus looks this way when he’s much older and he should be taking care of him, not the other way around.

Five lets out another heavy breath, pulling his hands from his pockets and bringing them down to his sides for a second before he anxiously changes his mind and shoves them back inside his pants pockets, hiding them away again.

“I need to bring Dolores back where she belongs.”

“Are you sure?” Klaus asks, searching Five’s face even though right now it’s turned towards his mannequin. Even if Five doesn’t want to give her up, Klaus knows that his mind is giving him no other choice but to see that she finally left him, and even sadder, from the way Five sees it, it’s not on good terms.

“It’s time, and it probably was long before this only I was too fucked up to see it,” Five insists though he sounds anything but sure. “I just don’t know if I can get her there and inside without your help.”

Five tries to smile when he looks back at Klaus but the skewed look of it only makes his brother know just how extreme his pain is.

“I am here for whatever you want, little bro. We got this,” he assures.

“Yeah, well… Being unable to teleport is a real bitch when it comes to breaking and entering, so it’s going to have to be done while they are open. I figured you could help me come up with something interesting to get her inside without me getting myself arrested and having my pathetic face getting plastered all over the local news with the caption, world’s biggest pervert, busted for stealing and then bringing back his fuck mannequin.”

“Five, you are an adorably committed perv, but you are not pathetic, and Dolores was much more than that to you and we all know it and we understand why. I am so sorry this is happening to you, man.”

“I know you tolerate my delusions, and I really appreciate it.” Five’s eyes gloss over even more. “She’s gone, and I-” Five can’t even finish, his chin lowers again.

When Klaus moves to give him a hug, Five reactively tenses up and starts to back away, but as his brother’s arms wrap around him anyway and the façade of self-control that he has been trying so hard to hold together this morning completely crumbles.

“I hate this. I don’t know how you can forgive me, but thank you for not hating me.” Five’s entire body shudders as his head falls weakly against Klaus’s shoulder.

“Five, you are so unbelievably smart, but you are also so stupid for thinking that I or any one of our fucked-up siblings could ever hate you. We are all really dumb and act like self-self-centered jerks most of the time, but I love you and they do too. Whatever you need, I am here. I am so sorry I wasn’t here for you sooner,” Klaus soothes, rubbing Five’s back, not letting him go even though he tries to pull away from him again.

“It’s not your fault. It’s all mine,” Five shakily breathes as he lets himself drop into his brother, partly because he wants to, and partly because Klaus isn’t giving him a choice to do otherwise.

“Not true. We all screwed up big time, buddy. None of this crazy shit is your fault. You have to stop thinking that. You messed up when it came to this chick, but you are not broken, and you are not bad. It’s not too late to make this right. We can fix this. You deserve a chance at happiness, and I promise we aren’t stopping till you find it.”

“I love you so much,” Five quietly sobs with his own trembling hand on Klaus’s arm that's clinging to him, holding him up.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Klaus makes good on his promise not to leave Five, and by Sunday night, they have their stolen mall maintenance uniforms on and are walking down the street with garbage bags slung over their shoulders.

“I am so glad we are getting to hang out so much,” Klaus cheerfully exclaims as he prances along the sidewalk sipping his smoothie.

Five glances at him. “Yeah, who knew it would be so fun lugging around pieces of my plastic girlfriend while we are dressed like the Mario brothers.”

“Hey, man! We do look like Mario and Luigi! But...they were plumbers. We are janitors. That’s way cooler,” Klaus corrects.

Five smirks. “I hate to inform you, but you have that mixed up. Plumbers are much higher ranked on the ladder of shit related duties. Janitors are pretty much as low as you can go.”

“I think you are wrong, but we can pretend to be plumbers and then this cool adventure can sort of make up for Dad never giving in and buying us a Nintendo. It is like we are about to storm King Kuppa’s castle and save the princess, only the opposite, because we are returning your lovely peaches Dolores.”

Trying to understand how his brother thinks but coming up with nothing other than he secretly likes it even if it is nuts, Five slows his pace, stopping short of the back door that they already staked out the day prior on their way back from breakfast.

Using the extremely complicated old stick your foot in the door method, Five and Klaus easily slip inside after someone leaves. Seeing the coast is clear; they start making their way through the damp service corridor to the secondhand store where Five originally found Dolores back during the apocalypse, and then again because he fell into another living nightmare when he realized that he was so far gone that he couldn't live a normal life in a normal world.

Getting to the correct shop’s back entrance takes a while because they have no idea where they are going, but the brothers eventually find it. Unfortunately, the door is locked but they expected that.

Stepping a few feet away, Klaus looks at his drink. “You were lovely and delicious, but goodbye my love…”

Klaus’s smoothie hits the floor, splattering all over the cement and up the wall. He reaches into his bag and hands Five one of the two pink scrub brushes, and they set about their plan of making it look like they are cleaning up the gooey mess he just made.

“It would be cool if we had tails and we were flying around or shooting fireballs while we took out evil turtles, but this is nice too,” Klaus says as he starts bobbing his head around and he sings. “Mop mop mop, all day long. Mop mop mop while I sing my song.”

Five is glad his hair is obscuring his face because there’s no way he can hide his smile and because Klaus needs no more encouragement when it comes to turning everything into a goof fest.

After a minute or two, Klaus begins spraying Five with his squirt bottle filled with water, even getting him in ear several times.

“It’s really too bad I can’t kill you since you can’t still fart yourself back into existence a few minutes later.” Five does his best to sound mad, but when Klaus gets him again, he shakes from the small huffs of laughter he’s been trying to hold in.

“I am really enjoying watching you try and fail to resist my charms,” Klaus teases.

Just as he sprays Five again and gets him right in the face, the back door of the secondhand store opens, and a tired looking woman comes out the back, lugging a large bag of garbage. Klaus and Five quickly turn their faces to the floor again as they silently go about their janitorial duties, but the woman stops right behind them, dropping the garbage next to the two bags containing the disassembled parts of Dolores.

“Here you go boys. Make yourselves useful and take this one out with all that other smelly shit you got there.” After saying that, the woman stomps back to the store, flinging the door wide.

“Quick, catch it!” Five hisses even as Klaus makes a mad dash to stick his scrubby wand in just before the latch catches.

“And that is why I am the magnificent leader of this very important quest. I have all the mad sneaky skills,” Klaus proudly states, grinning at Five with a bow as he comes towards him with water still dripping down his face.

“You are also a total pest, you dipshit.”

“Love you to,” Klaus replies.

Lugging the love of his life on his back, Five rolls his eyes but does so while offering a small but very heartfelt smile as he slips past him inside the back room of the clothing store.

He and Klaus crouch down behind a set of tall shelves and quickly reassemble Dolores and set her straight in her favorite sequined outfit. Then, even though Klaus is right there watching him do it, Five folds himself around her for the briefest moment before softly kissing her lips one last time.

“I am so sorry it ended like this. You will always be my heart,” he quietly whispers, with his face pressed against hers as he brushes his fingers down her back.

Klaus suddenly yanks on the back of Five’s overhauls, because that bitchy woman with the garbage just came in the back room again.

To Five’s shock, when he turns around to take off after Klaus, he hears Dolores’s loving voice calling out to him in his mind, vowing that she will always love him too.

With fresh tears blurring his vision, Five and Klaus sprint down the cold smelly hallway that heads out to the garbage dumpsters where they came in, but he does so with a much less heavy heart than when he started the day.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Monday comes, though Five is understandably reluctant, he pushes past his anxiety and goes with Klaus to meet his therapist friend. As expected, it starts off rough, but just like Klaus promised him, Five quickly finds a willing and competent ear in the ex-soldier turned psychiatrist.

As the week goes on, Five visits the doctor and sets up regular scheduled appointments with him. He goes to work just like he always does and comes home at night to his small apartment. Five never opens his blinds but he never stops thinking about the girl and wondering if she is home and if she is okay.

Peeking out his window for even a second would be invading her privacy, and to Five, it would feel like he was violating her all over again, so he refuses to do it. Unable to stop himself, Five does glance up before entering his building, but he never sees her lights on, and her curtains never seem to change position from how she left them open that last night. By two weeks in, he becomes convinced that she moved out and he missed it while he was at work.

It makes him so angry that it came to this, but he can’t blame her for wanting to get as far away from him as possible. Since she is gone, Five stops searching for a different crap-hole apartment he can afford because there is no reason to anymore.

As Five’s therapy sessions continue, he opens himself up more and more about his long and varied catalog of traumas, but the topic of the girl and what he did to her doesn’t come up till week three. Like all the other unbelievable things Five has had to spill about his life, his doctor takes the news of his accidental voyeurism and extreme mental break in stride.

Five assures him that he has not partaken in that perverse behavior since that night, but hearing that it happened, and what this mysterious girl did to Five after it sets off a whole new list of treatment goals when it comes to the ones already prescribed as a part of his already long and extensive healing plan.

Adding to the daunting task of undoing his ingrained negative thought patterns and avoiding situations that might increase their chances, Five is given the added goal of finding new outlets to manage his arousal other than pleasuring himself privately.

With extreme embarrassment, Five tries to explain that he is fine with the way things are and why dating isn’t an option for him, but his psychiatrist wasn’t having it and tasks him with getting out socially and talking to women as a jumping off point. Five assures him that talking to women isn’t the problem, it's actually having them know who he really is, but that just gets the doctor enlisting Klaus to see to it that Five gets out and mingles.

This leads to Friday, exactly four weeks after Five took the girl.

Sitting jammed in tight with his legs getting repeatedly bonked by strangers, Five feels particularly annoyed with being forced to go out. Trying to ignore that he doesn’t want to be here, he picks up his tumbler and slowly nurses his club soda as he glances at his watch.

The entire night has been a list of humiliating fails as he attempted to strike up significant conversations with any woman that sits next to him long enough to not immediately grab their drink and move off to someone less unfriendly.

“What’s the problem with that one?” Klaus asks as he slides into the recently vacated seat that a tall busty redhead dressed in a gaudy tube top just got up from.

Five’s mouth pulls to the side as he swirls his bubbly water. “I guess she’s not interested in dickheads that don’t care to talk about her newly shellacked sparkly nails.”

Klaus frowns. “You have to play the game to get some game, man.”

“I don’t want that kind of game and she didn’t want mine.”

“You don’t know that because you don’t give anyone a chance to see how wonderful you really are. You don’t have to like any of these chicks enough to marry them. You just need to find them attractive enough to bring them home and show them some of your magical pickle tickle action. Like your Doc said at the meeting I got to sit in on last week, just like your murderous tendencies are really a part of you flexing your long-ingrained need for control because so often in life you have had none, he's also right in that you need to pop that old man cherry of yours to move past the idea that you're never going to be loved by anyone like that.”

“Please stop talking about my old man cherry and referring to my dick as a pickle.” Five pushes his drink away. “I am leaving,” he grumbles as he stands up.

“Hey, don’t give up. This is part of your process,” Klaus pushes. “You can’t move on if you don’t open yourself up to other people outside your comfort zone. I am very cool but hanging out with me and only me isn’t what your doctor meant by socializing.”

Diego comes up behind Five, aggressively messing up his perfectly coiffed hair. “Five, stop being a grumpy little shit.”

“You guys seriously need to fuck off!” Five snaps as he tries to straighten his dark head of hair back the way it was. “I am fine with my fancy new plastic toys and I also hangout with this other moron, so I’d say I vastly broadened my inner circle,” Five finishes, shouldering Diego out of his way while giving him one of his beaming saccharin smiles.

Before Klaus can stall Five, he gets pulled away by one of the guys that he had been dancing with before coming over.

Seeing that it’s his turn to rally around their brother, Diego steps up to the plate. “Five, I hate to break it to you, but that new flesh light Klaus got you doesn’t count as a girlfriend, or as mingling and that’s even if you like to talk to it really nice while you jerk off.”

“It counts as my girlfriend if I say it does,” Five disagrees.

“Really, dude? Is it really time to go home and eat your old man peanuts with a nightly bowl of butterscotch ice cream while you watch porn on your phone and whack it out in your tube socks?”

“It’s midnight,” Five informs him. “I have fulfilled my weekly social obligations.”

“Okay,” Diego laughs, “but there’s been a hot chick over on the other side of the bar eyeballing you for the last half hour. You maybe would have noticed if you weren’t so fixated on your ice cubes.”

“Whatever,” Five yells over the music, pushing past him.

“Really, I am not kidding. She was checking you out,” Diego insists but Five isn’t listening so he follows him, determined to find a way to make him stay or simple not go home alone and sulk. "Hey! If you really want to go, I'll come with you. We can go downtown, pick some fights, and you can help me figure out what this shit is going on down at dad's evil headquarters. It looks like he is adding more floors to his tower of doom. That asshole is up to something bad, I just know it."

All Diego gets for that idea is a loudly grumbled, "I don't care!"

As Five heads out through the rowdy crowd, Klaus comes running up blocking his path. Not watching because he’s looking back at the bar trying to find the girl he’s talking about, Diego runs right into Five’s back, dumping his drink down the back of his suit jacket.

Five turns around ready to flip out on Diego, but Klaus aggressively spins him back by the elbow before he can. “God damn you guys!” Five yells. “I hate coming out to these kinds of places and what’s even worse is when we get here, you two always seem to find every imaginable way to piss me off even more.”

“Five, I just saw her!” Klaus shrieks over the loud music as he excitedly pounces around, eyes darting around the club.

“Who?” Five asks, as he angrily shrugs off his wet coat.

“Ahhhh…” Klaus looks at Diego, thinking how to say this because even though he has been a part of pushing Five to go out and he knows about the therapy sessions, he doesn’t know that something bad happened that initially prompted it. “It was that one girl, you know the cute freaky one that used to be your neighbor…” he says, eyes deliberately bugging out.

Five spins around looking through the throngs of people, but he doesn’t see her.

He looks back at Klaus. “Are you sure?”

“Wait, what cute freaky neighbor?” Diego demands.

“It was her. She was wearing a pretty little dress with cherries printed all over it,” Klaus replies.

“The hot chick at the bar was wearing a dress like that,” Diego says, clearly pondering if this could be the same girl.

Spinning on his heel as he looks for her again, Five impatiently asks, “Which way did she go?” He can’t help cursing under his breath because he’s so frustrated that he didn’t see her, and she was right in front of him.

“She was over by the-"

Before Klaus can finish his thought, all three Hargreeves brothers stop dead in their search because the girl is prowling towards them in her red kitten heels.

She winks at Five. “Hello, sunshine. Looks like other than being a little wet and bored out of your mind, you seem to be doing much better than the last time I saw you. I am glad to see it,” she says, as she gazes up at Five’s very flushed, slack jawed face.

“Ahhh…Yeah?” he stammers, not sure what to say to that, and also clearly unable to grasp that the girl he thought hated him, and that he’d been worried about for weeks, is standing right in front of him willingly speaking to him, and she seems fond of calling him of all people the nickname sunshine.

“Mind walking me home if you are heading out? This city is so dangerous, especially our neighborhood. You know, with all those pervy weirdos living around there,” she laughs.

Five swallows several times. “You want me to walk you home?” he asks, thumb pointed at his chest in confusion.

“Yes.”

Still looking totally thrown he glances at Klaus for help but gets nothing, so he looks back to the girl. “I thought you moved.”

“No, why would you think that?

“Ah, well… Because you- Uhm….”

Her smile gets bigger, and she comes just a little closer. “Have you been spying on me?”

“No!” Five squeaks and that makes the girl’s smile even brighter.

“I am teasing you. You look like you are about to have a heart attack. Please don’t,” she says, laughing at him.

Suddenly realizing how tense he must look, Five instantly tries to shake it off, but his awkward shifting and fidgeting only makes the girl giggle at him even more.

Five lets out a shaky breath, his doleful eyes glued to hers. “I thought you hated me.”

“No. I do not hate you. I have had a lot to think about since our last date, but hate is not something I feel about you or how that turned out.”

“Oh,” Five breaths relieved but confused still.

Her cool calculating eyes flick from Five’s to Klaus, her smile unwavering. “Hi, Klaus.”

“Hi,” Klaus giggles, unable to hold in his amusement over this very interesting exchange.

“You look so different without one-hundred straws stuck up your nose. I almost didn’t recognize you when I passed you a few minutes ago.”

Just as Diego is about to say something that’s probably going to be dumb and also make Five even more uncomfortable, Klaus throws his hand over his mouth. “We better get back to ah… Yeah.” He points to the dance floor, nodding at Five as he drags Diego along with him.

Diego twists Klaus' arm around to make him let go but it obviously doesn't hurt because Klaus just laughs about it. “Hold up. What’s she-"

“Nope,” Klaus snaps, slapping his hand back over Diego’s mouth, yanking him by his leather utility vest he can’t seem to give up. “This is one of Five’s solo missions, man.” Klaus gives Five a very silly smile. “You have successfully let go of the dark side, but much to learn you still have, young Padawan. Go now. May the force be with you.”

Five looks even more flustered by him saying that and by their abandonment than he was by their overbearing presence. His eyes dart back and forth from his retreating brothers to the petite woman standing there grinning at him in a cute but also very mischievous way that’s doing nothing to calm his haywire nerves.

When he realizes her hand is reaching for his, Five’s head jerks down, eyes wide with shock, but he doesn’t pull away. Her fingers lace between his and Five lets her pull him through the crowd.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Outside, the city streets are damp from the earlier rain. The girl tows Five along, slowing only when they are far enough away from the doors of the club so that they aren’t being bombarded by the loud music flowing out.

She uses Five’s hand in hers to maneuver him to a stop just inside the entrance to the adjacent alley. He opens his mouth, not sure what’s happening but sure that now that they are alone, he’s going to say all the things he has wanted to say since the moment he last saw her.

“I am so sorr-"

The girl’s warm lips press against Five’s, preventing him from trying to apologize. Her small body moves flush with his as her hands come up around Five’s neck, her fingers brushing gently through his soft strands of dark hair. Five’s suit jacket slowly slips out of his hand, falling at their feet. A second later, both his hands are gingerly resting on the girl’s narrow waist.

Even though her tongue is softly massaging his and it feels so good that it’s making it feel like his head is floating high above the tall buildings around him, Five manages to break away. He pulls back, anxiously watching her eyes flutter back open.

“Your magical lips are pretty much the best thing that I have ever felt but you’re going to have to forgive me. I don’t know what’s going on. I thought that I would never see you again. I was so worried about you. I assumed you left because you were so upset by what I did.” Five quickly rattles off his line of thinking, then takes a deep breath, trying to calm down as he searches her eyes for the answers.

“I am sorry,” she says back equally nervously. “I did leave the city for a little while because I needed to clear my head and that was because of you.”

“You have every reason to hate me, and you should have had me arrested. I don’t understand this. Why are you talking to me let alone letting me kiss you again? I don’t deserve this from you of all people, but the truth is, this is all I have wanted since I watched you walk out my door, and I know that’s wrong and everything about me is crazy, but it’s been killing me not knowing what happened to you. I know you probably don't believe it, but I really do care about you.”

Her hand comes up pushing some of Five’s hair back out of his eyes and when she does, her fingers brush against his forehead. It feels so unbelievably amazing to him that he inadvertently lets out the smallest of sounds from deep in his throat. Five’s face turns towards her touch as he shuts his eyes, trying to stop the tears being brought on by the flood of emotions he’s feeling.

“Please don’t feel bad. It is not wrong to feel and want the things you do, Five. I have wanted nothing more than to kiss you again ever since you threw me for a loop and blew my mind while I was trying to blow yours.”

“You have?” Five asks, not believing it even though it just happened, and she just said it, and she’s touching him so softly that it’s the sweetest hurt he’s ever known.

The girl leans in, raising up on her toes, meeting Five’s slightly parted lips with her own in a feather light touch that lasts only a second before she pulls away again even though he moves forward with her withdrawal trying to prolong it.

Her heels drop down again, as she smiles up at Five with her own glistening eyes giving away that she’s equally overwhelmed by this.

“Five Hargreeves, I can’t stop thinking about you. At first, I was confused by it. While I was gone, I realized that I was feeling this way because I saw something in you, and it’s something most people don’t have and never will.”

She smiles in what looks like a deceptively coy manner. Then her hands slide down to Five's shoulders, holding him firm by the collar of his dress shirt in a controlling but playful way that he is more than okay with because it means he isn’t going anywhere, and neither is she.

Her grin turns all fox again proving Five right. She is trying to fuck with him.

“And… by something most people don’t have, I don’t mean that you are a genetically altered ex-assassin, who is mentally an old man but somehow physically the opposite, or that you lost your ability to travel time and teleport around like an electrified perv on superhero steroids. Mostly people don’t have all that going for them and that’s all very interesting, but that’s not it.”

She laughs and shrugs a little, her smile softens, and it looks so accepting.

“When we were together, you made me feel things I have never felt with anyone else. It hurt me to see you hurting the way you were. I wanted nothing more than to break you out of your hell. The way you look at me, the way you give every part of yourself over so honestly and completely, the way your kisses make me feel so alive… Five, you may be full of all sorts of bad things that will always haunt you, but the fact that you are still fighting to be this good person who is also so desperately handsome it should be illegal, it is truly the most real and beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

“You see me like that?”

“I do.”

“You aren’t scared of me?”

“No. I know you didn’t mean to have things go down the way they did. I know you needed help, and I am glad that you’ve been getting it.”

“How did you know I have been getting help? I mean, I know you text Klaus about it, but how do you know I have been going?”

Her smile broadens. “You aren’t the only one who can spy on people. I have had my eyes on you, and running into you tonight while you were having one of your many brotherly misadventures wasn’t a coincidence. I have been stalking you, Hargreeves,” she taunts, giving Five’s shirt a feisty tug.

“You have?”

“I have and I think you realize by now that I am not the innocent girl you thought you were falling for.” She giggles. “I am far from perfect. I know what I did to you was wrong. I never meant to take it that far. From the start, it was wrong even if I was trying to help.”

“I think you are perfect,” Five quickly blurts, his intense stare never faltering.

Five saying that makes the girl’s teasing smile weaken a little, but she doesn’t let him go.

“I assure you I am not perfect, and if you knew me, you’d see that. Even tonight, when I was watching you trying so hard to fit in but also self-sabotaging your own efforts because places like that are the last place you want to be, me being unable to stay away is not fair and that's because you are still working through so many things.”

“I don’t want you to stay away. I want to know you, the real you,” Five says, sounding so sincere. “I haven’t been able to stop wanting that.”

“I want that too, but I didn’t mean to throw myself at you like this, but you are so damn lost and dead sexy and you make me totally crazy and I couldn’t help it. My kooky brain wants to do all sorts of things with you other than help you escape that obnoxious place, but that’s me being wrong, not you. I think I have proved that you are not the only one who is badly behaved.”

She tries to move back.

Five can’t resist. His fingers latch onto her small hips preventing her from getting away from him.

“I want you more than anything. Maybe we can be wrong and badly behaved together?”

The girl looks nervous but not in a bad way and that gives Five the nerve to keep spilling what’s on his mind and also start fucking with her right back.

“Please believe me that I want to know you more than bodily, though I absolutely want to make love to you right fucking now too.” His voice comes out low and dangerous and the girl’s breath hitches as she stares into his honest eyes.

Five moves closer, stepping on his disregarded jacket as his head falls to the side while he studies her cute reactions to him. Seeing the cherry covered fabric covering her chest rising and falling quicker has his mouth pulling to the side.

“You want to do that?”

“Yes, I fucking do. I want to gently take your shoulders and guide you backwards until your back is pressed into that wall behind you. I want to let my hands run as light as possible up and down your gorgeous arms, and the entire time I will keep my mouth against yours in a soft kiss that makes you believe how much I want all of you.”

Five eases her backward, just like he said. His cautious kiss is so delicate it makes her entire body shiver.

His warm lips move away only enough to say, “From there, I am going to wrap your legs around my waist, open my pants, and slowly, gently, slide my naughty meat puppet inside you.”

She softly giggles over that, and Five holds his serious tone, but his smile widens and his eyes narrow.

He doesn’t follow through with that action. Instead, Five runs his fingers down over the tops of her exposed thighs with spider light touch calling every goose bump on her legs to attention.

When Five has her back against the cool brick wall, he leans in close like he is going to kiss her again, but then he abruptly moves to her ear.

“If you allow me to fuck you…” He moves his hands around the back of her legs, gripping her thighs tightly and pushing her hips into his, “at first it will be slow and gentle but as I go, things will be anything but. Every thrust, every touch will convey how fucking sexy I find you and I promise there will be no shortage of passion.”

The girl clears throat, looking much less the part of the sly dominatrix she has been putting on for Five. “Uhmmm, Wowza… This confidence act you have going is pretty damn good and it’s sure to drop some panties if you put it to use next time your brothers force you out with them.”

“It’s not an act, and your panties are the only ones I want to drop,” Five smarts back, full of renewed certainty of that fact over seeing her so cutely flustered over his ridiculous dirty talk.

“Really because among your many talents I have heard about, I didn’t really think that you were the ass kissing kind of guy. That’s unless you were given no other choice, like in our little situation, but that was because you were literally tied to your bed, and you were so hard you were about to come in your pants.”

“I am usually not an ass kisser, but I’d love to kiss your ass and have my way with your ass in other ways too, and maybe even vice versa. I am not opposed to trying new things, or to being punished in any way you see fit.”

“Is that so?”

“It is. You can rule me anytime. I have wanted nothing else since you had me under you pleading for your love."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

They way Five is acting and hearing him say that makes your jaw drop.

The way Five says the word love, it feels like it could make your heart stop beating. You feel faint. If not for his strong grip on your bottom you’d be swaying like a drunken sailor, and you didn’t drink any alcohol at the bar.

This insanely sexy man is proving once again to be everything you knew he was and then some.

“As much as I like your idea of using this wall as a backdrop for carrying out your clever plan, I think maybe we should take our conversation somewhere more private?”

“You like my plan?”

“Yes, Five, and even though I loved making you quiver and moan for me, I am more than willing to let you take the lead and let things go as far as you want this time. I like control but I like being controlled just as much if it’s by the right person.”

Five’s eyes never leave yours as he grins and presses his impressive hard-on between your legs. “Damn. I wish I could blink us back to my super crappy apartment.”

“Blink?”

His beautiful smile spreads in that way that makes your heart feel like it could plunk out completely.

“I mean teleport. That’s what my siblings started calling it when we were kids. It would happen in the blink of an eye, and that was very unsettling for anyone around me when I did it. The porthole manifests with an electrical charge followed by a bright flash of blue flashes of light, so calling it that made sense to my family and the word stuck,” he explains.

“I am glad you have them. Your family, I mean.”

You know that you sound like an awe-struck fool but it’s hard not to. As much as you know now about Five and the Umbrella Academy, it’s still hard to fathom all the wild things about him that make him who he is.

“I am glad I have them too. If you hadn’t given me this chance, I never would have been able to tell them how much they mean to me, but I have now and I have you to thank for that, though sometimes I still sort of want to kill them. So, that is why I go to a shrink twice a week and probably always will. I am crazy as fuck and they all know it.” Five finishes that by laughing at his own attempt at making light of his tendency to jump straight to thoughts of murderous rage.

You shake your head, chuckling just a little. Even trying to be mean and belittle himself, you can see the love in Five’s eyes as he thinks about them.

When you feel Five’s fingers slipping off your backside, you shiver again, but this time it’s more from the cold of his withdrawal. He swiftly bends down picking up his dirty suit coat, his dark brows furrowing as he looks at the garment.

“I would offer you this, but it’s covered in Diego’s margarita, and now I really did it because I think that’s gum stuck to it.” Five lifts the coat higher, eyeing it closer in the dim light. “Yup, that’s gum. Looks like I am going to have another expensive dry-cleaning bill, which is funny because that happened the last time that I was with you.”

Five’s smile looks positively wicked. He is all danger of the good and very bad kind and you love it.

Five is clearly trying to tease you about punching him in the nose, causing him to bleed all over his dress shirt, and then later, how you shamelessly rubbed yourself all over the protruding crotch of his pants.

Thinking about that, you immediately feel your desire for him making itself even more apparent between your legs, so you snatch up his free hand, leading him back out on the street.

“I wish you could blink us back too, but it looks like we will be walking like the rest of the boring regular humans.”

Five scrambles along behind you as fast as he can, trying to adjust himself in his pants in a way that makes his nice sized, rock-hard dick less noticeable, and he couldn’t look hotter doing it.

“Thank God, it’s only four blocks. I know it’s only ten minutes away, but I have been waiting over sixty years for a chance like this and I feel like even a minute more and I might die before we get there,” he says while excitedly sliding in at your side giving you the most adorably boyish smile.

As you and Five quickly walk the shadowy streets, he asks questions about your life in such a way that proves he wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to know you. You can’t help but laugh at him a few times over how the moment you finish telling him one thing, he fires off another question as if he’s reciting them from a list he’s been compiling in his head since he first laid eyes on you from across the alley.

As the pattern continues, Five never loses his enthusiastic momentum, and you realize he probably does have an actual list of things he’s been wanting to ask. That gets you giggling as you try to keep up with him, but he doesn’t seem to care if you laugh at him as long as you don’t stop answering his sweetly thought-out questions that comprise of everything from where you grew-up, to details about your family, the books you love, your favorite foods, if you prefer dogs or cats, and even if you favor the right or the left side of the bed when sleeping. To that curious question you tell Five, you prefer the middle since you generally sleep alone, and that response is met with what you determine is a very mischievous, but also very happy looking grin.

Together, with plenty of nervous smiles, your feet rapidly click along, mimicking the anticipation you feel, and you are sure Five feels it too. As you make your way to your destination, it’s with the mutual understanding that something very special is happening.

Chapter Six: Underneath It All

Outside your building, when Five begins to lead you towards his, you pull back.

“Come to my place.”

You don’t say it in question and that’s because you don’t feel that it is.

Even so, Five looks at you with that troubled expression traveling across his face, and it hits you again how gorgeous he is, not just his looks, but it’s more that he has a smoldering sexuality in the hint of vulnerability within his many troubled expressions.

“Are you sure?”

You can hear his doubt, and you know why it’s there. Five is still terrified of doing anything that will invade your private space after what he did, and that’s all the more reason for you to bring him inside your place to help move past it.

“Five, I am sure. I want to know you, and for you to know me the right way. What started this may have been very bad, but sometimes bad things can turn out good. I have been home for the last three weeks and I have never once shut my curtains. I wanted you to open your blinds and see me openly letting you into my life and that’s because I want you in every way.”

The cool green in Five’s eyes is so beautiful as he breathlessly brushes his lips across yours. He’s so warm and soft. You are stunned speechless by the gesture because it’s so desperate yet gentle.

“Okay.” Five’s reply falls from his lips so softly and unsure, but he doesn’t pull back when you lead him inside.

At your door, he slows his pace to a full stop, his hand pulling back on yours as his eyes move around your home taking it in for the first time from the inside not out.

Seeing that scared look on Five’s face, you immediately yank him over the threshold and throw the door closed behind him. Before the poor guy so much as has a chance to let out another one of his long nervous breaths, you are on him, your mouth covering that sexy neck of his in fevered kisses that make his breath catch sharply in his throat. If he had on one of his black ties, you’d be securing him to you with that, but griping his shirt will have to do.

All at once, Five’s hands lock down on your hips letting you know that he's not going anywhere.

“I want you to kiss me again, Five,” you hum as his head drops back and his lips part.

Another sound of desperate craving erupts from somewhere deep inside him, but after a second or two Five finds his senses again, and just as fast, his tongue is obediently pressing inside your mouth.

After expertly reacquainting himself with the motions of a deep kiss again, breathless and flushed, Five pulls his mouth off yours. “Thank you for allowing me to touch you this time. The ropes were fun but his is, fuck .”

Five’s use of the word fuck gets you every time, only making what he says hotter, and you grin at him, ready to give him whatever he wants, all things fuck included.

One of Five’s hands brushes against your breast, tentatively sliding up and down with his happy words. The next thing you know, he has the other hand moving up your skirt and his warm fingers are running along the joint between thigh and your hips, tracing a line over the thin lacy fabric.

A soft moan-like sound escapes your tightly pressed lips because you are a little surprised by him so brazenly touching you so fast being a few minutes ago he was so nervous. He may be thrown by it too based on the way he appeared to just stop breathing.

Five’s hand under your skirt suddenly moves away, flipping the flared fabric up as he retreats and even though you understand his nerves, you are slightly confused by the back-and-forth pattern of intense confidence to having almost none.

“This little dress of yours is humorously appropriate considering this is technically my first time and I have been getting shit constantly from my brother’s about being the oldest virgin on the planet.”

Five fingers puck at a conveniently placed cherry on the pattern of your dress and you let out a tiny yelp that has him looking so smug that it makes you think you may have just misread him and this confidence thing big time.

“You look unbelievably hot in this, but I need you to take this off and get on your bed as soon as possible,” he orders as he tightens both hands on your breasts and his hips pump against yours, deliberately giving you another taste of his renewed stiffness below the fabric of his black slacks.

Letting your fingers run down the front of Five’s crisp white dress shirt, causes him to shudder and it reminds you that no matter how he’s acting now, it’s easy to make him react in such an unbelievably sexy and uninhibited way. Five Hargreeves, the broken down mentally sixty some year-old virgin, is literally the sexiest old man you've ever seen and that's because he is enjoying the prime of his life all over again, and his reactions to the smallest touches are the biggest turn on ever.

As you look him dead in the eye, you reach along your side and undo the hidden clasp above your side zipper, not stopping until your dress falls at your ankles and Five is unable to hold your stare. His focus drops, moving up and down your body a few times before hungrily landing on your bare breasts.

Without a word, Five swiftly swoops you up, your legs flipping up over his arm as he brings you over to your bed and proceeds to lower you like you’re the most breakable thing he’s ever held. Just as fast though, he comes down next to you with one of his legs possessively pinning yours to the bed.

Five props himself up on one elbow, his face falling against your breasts. Looking down, all you could see is his dark hair as he abruptly covers one of your nipples with his mouth. His warm lips part over you, his tongue coming out, wetting the sensitive skin as his hand moves, running up and down your opposite side so slowly.

His lips, his tongue, his soft hair tickling you, all of it is incredible. You let out a high-pitched whining and kick out your feet, but Five tightens his hold on you making sure to keep you secured where he wants you.

When Five pulls back, his eyes are closed and there is a look of peace on his face that instantly turns pained again when he opens them.

“I have wanted to know what that was like for so long. That was way better than I imagined it and I imagined it a lot," he admits with a small laugh that makes you want to immediately kiss him. "Things got so lonely when I was completely isolated in my windswept wasteland for forty years, but they weren’t much better after that. Dolores was my everything. She kept me from completely going insane. She was all I had. She was all I thought I’d ever have, and then you saw it, she left me too.” Five's handsome smile fades just a little as he further explains what's on his mind.

“Five, where is she?” you ask.

He lets out a long breath and his sweet smile returns, covering a deep sadness. “I took her home to be with her friends because that is where she belongs.”

Your brows furrow but you smile because he is. “Five, you didn’t need to do that. Your Dolores seemed very nice, and I don’t mind a three-way as long as it’s with someone as easy going as her.”

Five laughs and not just any laugh either, he throws his head back and laughs so hard the skin around his eyes crinkles and you can see his nice white, perfectly straight teeth.

“Though I really appreciate your offer to let me be with two lovely ladies at one time, it’s okay. I think I like the idea way too much, but I am not sure I could successfully please two women at once even if one is made of plastic and I manifest everything she thinks and feels inside my own fucked up brain.” He chuckles and shakes his head. “It was time. You helped me see that and it was a very good thing.”

As you are about to tell Five, that based on the demonstration that he gave you before he drunkenly passed out on you at his apartment, you are pretty sure he actually could successfully pleasure two real women at once, his lips crush yours again, and you can hear the soft murmur of that amazing whimpering sound coming from him again. Five’s tongue snakes into your mouth pushing for more as he kisses you, deeply, roughly, and desperately.

You kiss him back, eyes crashing closed, your hands flinging up, feeling that wonderful hair of his as they move up his neck and your tongue drives into his mouth equally aggressively. You hear that Five’s breaths are already coming quickly as begins lowering himself down over you and the warmth of his fully clothed body presses against yours like you are two magnets being pulled together and there’s no stopping it.

Once Five gets a handle on himself, swallowing down his excitement he opens his eyes again, releasing your lips. You feel his hands on the bed next to your sides tighten into clenched fists. “I want to use my fingers on you the way you did to yourself. Will you show me how to do it right?”

Even hearing Five so sweetly asking permission to do that has your legs fighting to tighten together as coils of longing burn through you. He shifts himself over you as his right hand comes around your hip, stopping on your thigh. Between what he just said and where he has his hand, it’s clear what he means. The confirmation of your small nod gets his fingers moving again.

Your mouth opens in anticipation as his fingers creep down between your legs, stroking you so lightly and carefully over our panties.

“Does this feel good?” Five asks, sounding so unsure of himself even though you know damn well that he can feel how wet you are through the almost non-existent lace.

Propping yourself up just a little on your elbows, you bring your flushed face up to his, seeing even clearer that his pupils are blown wide and dark by desire. You nod again as you bite your lip and reach down to show him how to move in a way that’s even better, but you do so by taking his hand in yours to demonstrate.

Just the look on Five’s face is enough to do you in, but a short review of your previous lesson is all he needs, and within a minute he has it under control and you are reeling in pleasure from the sheer feel of his fingers on you quickly giving you what you want. As Five’s fingers slide between your folds, your attraction to him can’t be ignored and he lets out a very sharp and pained sounded moan because of it.

“My god, you are beautiful.” He all but whispers his sweet compliment as he lightly ruts his restrained erection up against the side of your leg in time with his hand.

“Fi-ivvvve ,” you embarrassingly mumble out as his fingers move faster, “you are wearing way too much clothing for this!”

He laughs at that as your pleasure builds to an almost unbearable degree. Feeling desperate with the need to see all of him, you try reaching for him to tear his shirt off but the sexy shit wiggles further down the bed so you can’t.

“If I was naked, this would be over way too quick,” he says, still laughing. “I want to make sure I see that beautiful face of yours falling apart for me this way before it comes to that.”

His fingers slow but only for a moment before he presses them down deeper, letting the tip of one slip inside you in just the smallest amount.

“Now keep your hands to yourself or I’ll find a way to make you. Thanks to my peeping Tom perving on you, I know you keep some very nice toys in that drawer over there and I am sure there’s bound to be something in there that I can use to keep your hands busy while I enjoy myself manually down here,” he cockily warns as you begin to reach for him again.

First you try to look shocked by that, but Five’s smart-ass grin proves that was his intention, so you show him your poutiest pout instead, but it also does no good, so you obey by throwing yourself back down in the pillows, hands balled up in the blankets at your sides.

“This is fucking amazing,” Five curses as he dips in even more while his eyes remain locked on yours as he studiously watches you unraveling for him, your hips bucking each time he his knuckles push against you.

“Yessss, ahhh…FFF! Just like that,” you gasp as Five forces his two buried fingers up while inside you, then pulls them back out with a firm glide as you helplessly rock your hips up into his hand.

The smooth motion as he works into you, deeper and faster, leaves your thighs quivering and a sweet ache spreading from your toes to your scalp.

Five’s look of admiration and childlike wonder over this is enough to send your orgasm flying through you.

“Fff-ive! Aaa—na, MmmfFFF!” you incoherently cry out.

He has to feel it happening. You catch that glimmer of defiant pride in the dark depths of his unbelievably expressive eyes.

Five seems older in doing this to you and you can see his true age coming into play in his ability to just stop and focus his complex mind on what he’s seeing and feeling. As the pulsing explosion of the purest release he just caused begins to fade, his fingers pull out of you, but they don’t stop slowly making circles over your clit.

He is so quiet and contemplative that you don’t see it coming until he drops his head and begins to lick you, his damp fingers clinging to your hips to keep you still and to give his mouth room to work.

“I want to do that all day, every day,” he buzzes after a few exceptionally long and leisurely licks. Your body shudders from that alone.

“Oh my God, Five. You are…. Wow.”

Five shamelessly laps at you with his searing tongue and it is almost too much to handle, making you squirm from being over stimulated due to not being over the orgasmic bliss he just gave you.

Five only lifts his head when he feels your fingernails brushing against his scalp gently pulling him up.

“No one has ever trusted me or seen me the way you do,” he whispers and his warm breath is still so close to your skin it feels like just another one of his brilliant touches.

Five looks to the side, a wayward look in his eyes as the light from the window and the lamp in your adjacent living room space illuminates his face.

“All I want is to make you feel as good as you make me feel,” he admits, so damn softly again.

The way he says it sounds so scared, like he feels that he needs to explain what he just did and it's like he feels in the wrong for wanting that.

“Five, consider that one checked off your list because you are making me feel so far beyond good. Now take off your clothes and get up here,” you playfully demand.

After that, he springs to action faster than you’ve ever seen a man move and seeing it has you smiling because you can’t help thinking about how quick Five would be if he could still do his mysterious blinky thing. Thanks to only having on a dress shirt and fitted dress pants, though still looking hot as hell, Five has himself fully naked in ten seconds flat.

And damn…

Wow, wow, wow.

You knew that Five was all lean muscle. You’d seen it before, but like this. All out there…

Yeah.

Five is standing there, very erect dick at full attention, looking down at you looking so absorbed, like he’s so ready to do anything you tell him to do. Despite what he said he was going to do to you back while you were out on the street, now he is looking for direction of any kind and you know it’s because he’s never done this before and he’s probably also scared of pushing you too far in any way.

His face begins to melt into a look of almost childlike distress and it’s actually a very adorable look on him that’s equally sexy for some reason. This man is mentally over the age of sixty and he’s never been with a real woman. Five is such an anomaly in that he carries himself both with a cold hypnotic confidence yet also so much uncertainty and innocence that it’s hard to grasp it can all be in one beautiful yet very complicated person.

“I am such a stupid asshole. I don’t have any protection,” he says, looking so cutely flustered when he admits what’s partly troubling him.

You smile and giggle because you had thought it was more than that. “It’s okay. I am on a very reliable birth control that will take care of that for us and I haven’t been with anyone since I was last tested, and that was over a year ago. A lot of what I did and said when I tied you up was to fuck with you, but I was not lying when I said that I don't date much.”

Five smiles now too.

“Come here,” you say, seductively curling your finger at him.

Five’s weight makes the mattress sink as he moves closer, but he stops short, and it seems like he is still hesitant to make the first move now that things just got very real, so you decide for him how this is going to start.

When you lure him in for a kiss and his face meets yours, you abruptly push him over flat on his back on the bed as you hop on top straddling him. It only works because Five lets you, and giving in to your insistence, his head falls back, his dark hair spilling out on the white pillowcase, and he looks so handsome laying there under you that you could die.

You are strongly considering wrapping your mouth around his cock, and as you lick your lips thinking about it, Five bucks up just a little. Him doing that reminds you that he probably wouldn’t be able to take much of that and the real goal here is to get him laid and a blow job finish doesn’t count.

“Oh, are we doing this again?” he questions with plenty of teasing in his tone.

“We can do anything you want, I just thought you needed a little guidance there for a second.”

You reach down between your spread legs, running your hand over Five’s shaft, relishing how hard he was. Even the feeling of him this way alone, and the sight of his eyes rolling with pleasure, makes you gasp and fresh wetness spills between your legs.

You tickle your nails along his chest as you start to rub the swollen tip of his cock, gathering his drizzle of pre-cum on your finger before bringing it to your mouth, giving him a little taste.

“Mmmm,” you hum. “You taste good too, Number Five.”

“MMmffuck.”

The tiniest muffled moan from Five and you want to give him the world.

“Are you ready?” you question even though you know he is more than ready.

Five looks like he is already beside himself over that, and he never stops holding your gaze but you can tell something wrong.

“I am, but I am scared this can’t possibly be real,” he whispers on what looks like trembling lips. “So much is not real, I just trick myself into thinking it is and I have been doing it so long, I don’t know what to think anymore. Even you feel unreal because there’s no way in my mind that I can work out why you would want this with me.”

Cupping his jaw with your hand, you lean in close, touching his forehead to yours.

Five whispers your name.

Thinking about what he just said, you almost sob out his. “ Five . This. Is. Real.” You say each word in a way that you hope drills it home for him and you also rub his tip back and forth across your entrance to further prove the point. “I promise you won’t always feel this way,” you pant out in small huffs as you begin to lower your body over him.

As the heavy feeling of him begins to fill you, it’s harder and harder to keep your eyes open, but you do it because you can’t take your eyes off him.

“Oh my, Fu-uuck ,” Five groans, throwing his head back as his eyes slam closed.

Just seeing that.

Oh my God!

You let out a low helpless sounding moan of your own and that makes him writhe beneath you even more.

Careful to only undulating your hips very slowly at first, you softly shoosh him, while running your lips along his handsomely defined jaw.

It takes Five a second or two, fists clenching at his sides, laying almost completely still again, for his eyes to open again. It’s as if he is unable to speak because he’s so overwhelmed.

Maybe he can’t?

Again, that is so fucking hot.

Since Five is property indisposed, you let your lips meet in a kiss that leaves you shaken to the cells of your being. Like before, Five may not be in control of this, but he is eliciting a primal response in you, one that is as welcoming as it is frightening in your pure need to give him anything you can.

Very slowly, you begin rocking your hips, moving back and forth.

Five’s fingers brush across your skin, tracing lines of want over your shoulders and arms.

“I love the way you touch me,” you say, gasping for air. “I don’t know how you know what to do but you do.”

“You feel so fucking good, all I want is to touch you,” he breaths as he lays there looking up at you in such an honest loving way that you know you have never seen anyone look at you like this before now.

Sitting up on him much straighter, you continued to very slowly roll against him, enjoying the feeling of him inside you but trying to take it easy on him to make this last as long as possible. You watch his eyes move from yours down to your chest, then down to wear your bodies are joined. Again, Five curses from the sight, and you feel his cock inside you simultaneously jolt, which is quite impressive considering it is being squeezed tight within your walls.

Five can’t reach you as well now so instead his hands drop, clinging to the rumbled blankets under him.

You can tell he wants to do more but he is fighting to remain as is, letting you do this to him.

Feeling empowered the more you watch him strain and try to control himself, you dig your toes into the bed looking for leverage to really fuck him. You begin thrusting your hips down on him over and over, making his cock move in and out, just at the tip, before you fuck back down on him hard again, eliciting the most glorious cry from his gaping mouth.

Five’s moans of pleasure as he struggles, and the feel of him, exquisitely inexperienced and so fucking hard inside you are enough for your own building pleasure to just about send you over the edge again.

“Oh fuck,” he cries as he suddenly sits up enough to wrap his arms around you, pulling you down with him.

You think that he just wanted you near again, but that’s when Five flips you over, your bodies not even parting as he skillfully traps you under him. His hands come down under your ass, squeezing but also trembling as he lays there with his face against your neck trying to catch his breath.

“I am sorry,” he breathes, “That was beautiful, but I just have to know what it’s like to fuck you.”

“Fuck away,” you giggle as Five starts pulling himself up on his elbows positioning himself to do just that.

Five’s face is full of color, his strong body tense as he drags his cock out, and for the first time he is one getting to be in control of this while being with someone who knows the difference. That looks like it sends him to another planet, but his otherworldly look gets even better when he slowly pushes his length back inside you. There’s no way to describe the low sounds coming from Five other than to say they are part pain and part pleasure. It’s like Five is savoring every inch of you he takes even if doing it slowly is taking every bit of control he has left.

You start kissing Five right along the hollow where his shoulder and collarbone meet. Your hands both slid down his smooth back and your fingers dig into his firm ass, urging him to take you harder.

When you lick along his neck and suck his earlobe, Five groans so lustfully, but it’s almost like he can’t take even one more thing because suddenly, his hand moves under one of your legs, lifting your bottom while sliding your entire body backwards. He does it so unexpectedly that you would have bonked into the headboard if not for him quickly putting his other arm around you, holding you till you’re settled again.

“Hang on to your headboard, this is going to get rough,” he warns.

As he’s saying that, Five positions one of your legs up over his shoulder while he latches the other around his waist, and you have to wonder how he knows how to do this and where he’s getting this idea from. Then you realize that this behavior is exactly what he would have been used to doing with Dolores because with her, he could do anything he wanted, and he was able to position her body in different ways to some extent. Just thinking of Five deviantly pretending to have sex with his Dolores in this way is making you feel even more turned on.

“Now I am going to really fuck you,” he growls as he thrusts himself full to the hilt, his hair falling in his eyes as his face contorts with pleasure.

You cry out from the sheer intensity of it as he clings to you. Sensations you don’t even comprehend begin to flood your body as he does it again and again. For someone that has never done this with a real person, Five knows what he’s doing. His cock works inside you each time with such an explosive momentum that makes your body quake. But when he pulls out, Five makes sure to buck up into you at the same time so that his member slides across the secret parts of you that make you melt.

“Five, you’re the one that’s unreal,” you moan out so frazzled sounding that it has him grinning ear to ear.

You can tell that Five’s main mode of operation is to act on pure instinct and immense need and that’s exactly how this should be. When Five lets it all out there, he’s the opposite of vacant coldness. He’s literally bursting with desire, passion, empathy, and tenderness that can make you weep.

Five’s face is suffused with a light red flush, his top teeth studding into his bottom lip. He has you filled entirely, pushing achingly through your body. You feel like you may have just died from how brutally hot he looks while fucking you.

You swear your heart stops because you can hardly breathe. The pleasure building makes you want to go limp, but he keeps your leg lifted, how he wants, as his strong hips fuck into you and you hang on for dear life.

You can feel your orgasm building blindingly inside you, but before you can let yourself go, Five swiftly moves you again, dropping your leg and aggressively pulling your body down off the pillows as he covers you. Letting go of the rungs on your headboard, your nails dig into his shoulders hard enough that he flinches. Perhaps in retaliation, Five’s mouth goes back to your breast, sucking deeply at one nipple, and with that you cry out, coming undone.

Your head flings back, mouth opened. “Oh Fuck! Five, fuck!” A hard, pulsing, orgasm shakes through you, making you cling to him.

He laughs of all things, and it is enough to make you shudder and clench around his thrusting length even more. Five is the epitome of deep, primal, carnal joy and he looks so beautiful you could cry.

Five’s hands at your sides keep you captive, impaled on his length. You press your face onto his shoulder. His flesh still working, sliding in and out of you is teasing every nerve you have far past any mental understanding. He nips and sucks at your neck, his hips slamming powerfully against yours in a rhythmic pattern that’s as simple as in and out as quick as he can. He grasps at your body in a way that is surely going to bruise, lost in passion that is all intensity and burning heat.

The pace of his furor begins to fall apart, the fiction too much for him, turning each attack into a much less coordinated effort but no less intense as his pumping hips continue to seek his first ever release inside of someone.

You know it is coming soon when Five stops his onslaught of dizzying kisses and bites, his eyes closing as he buries his face against your neck. One of his hands comes up and his fingers twist into your hair. He moans, a long low sound that sends you over the edge again.

“Five ,” you softly whimper because you are so far past crying out.

That is it. You feel him spilling. It’s so warm, and notably lengthy, like the sixty some years of waiting to do that equates to his impressive amount of cum though you know that has nothing to do with it and it seems to be his norm.

Five’s whole body shudders over and over but he remains silent other than his heavy breathing. Erratically lifting his hips with his knees pushing down on the bed, he eventually gives up trying to move. His whole body goes limp. He is covered in a sheen of sweat, panting, body reddened from heat.

Though no one is, you are sure that Five is flawless in this one beautiful moment.

Still speechless, Five nuzzles into your neck even more while he pulls himself out. You hear his breath hitch and yours does too but within a second, he’s got his softening length against your hip and he’s laying down beside you placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

“I know it makes me even more nuts to feel this way, but I want to say something so badly that I shouldn’t,” he admits so quietly you hardly hear him. Five kisses you again, his lips spreading against your skin. “I’m going to be smart for a change and just shut up.”

Thinking about what is going on in Five’s wild mind, you are pretty sure you know what he wants to say and that's because you feel it too. Taking his cue not to go there, you silently continue to brush your fingers through his hair and just let yourself look at him laying there totally happy and at peace.

With that, the slow languor that is left over from your sex drifts into something else, something so sweet and full of hope and promise.

Five eventually draws you into the hollow under his arm and his head falls against the pillows. This way you can see his face even better and what a face.

Without a word, you lean over, placing a soft kiss on his lips. Five tries to open his eyes, but his heavy lids keep drooping back down in an adorable way that makes him look like an incredibly sleepy kid who is about to fall asleep at the table in his pile of mashed potatoes.

You don’t want that wonderful look to ever fade.

Though Five Hargreeves seemed so broken at first, he clearly knows what love is and he knows how to give it. More importantly, when his walls come down, Five is willing to receive love and you are sure that you've never met someone more deserving. Hopefully this, and everything else he is doing to save himself is enough to help him see that real happiness is not something out of his reach, and that is because you want nothing more than to be a part of his happiness and his future.

Just as you are sure Five fell asleep, he whispers, “Do you want me to go?”

Your reply is simple but true. “Never.”

Chapter Seven: Epilogue

Five’s warm fingers tighten around yours as you make your way down the busy sidewalk.

“When I left my demeaning work cave yesterday, I never would have guessed in a million years that this is how my weekend would turn out. I am on my first real date with the most amazing woman in the world and I still can’t believe it. I am the luckiest man alive.”

Five’s smile as he expresses again how happy he is looks so handsome that it makes your heart skip a beat.

Taking you by surprise, he stops right in the middle of all the rest of the pedestrians and his hands come up in your hair, gently pulling you in for a kiss.

“There,” he laughs after finishing his sudden display of affection with one more quick and very cutely maneuvered peck. “I may need to do that every few minutes for a while until I can get it through my crazy head that this is happening and I am not imagining it.”

Your heart is racing as you gaze up at him. “You can do that anytime you want even after you realize I am not a figment of your beautiful imagination.”

Someone swears as they walk by and Five smirks. “Shall we proceed to the Argyle Library where I can give you the grand tour of all my favorite sections and maybe even whisk you to a semiprivate nook where I am going to seduce you into sharing my love of poetry while I also do my best to fuck you with my fingers dancing around up your skirt?”

Your chest rises and falls with laughter.

So many times since you both woke up and Five ravaged you again, he’s made you laugh. You knew from his long history that he was capable of anything, but you're still shocked with how funny he is now that he’s letting himself enjoy life a little.

And damn those fingers of his. Boy do they dance when he wants them to, which reminds you that after Five’s allotted part of this fun outing, you are taking him back home and he promised that he’d actually dance with you even though he claims he hates it and doesn’t know how.

“I do not like poetry but when you put it that way, I just might after this,” you reply, trying not to sound so infatuated by him, but by the look on Five’s face, you can tell he knows that you are, and thankfully he feels exactly the same as you do otherwise you’d really be embarrassed with how fast you are falling for him.

Five is right, this is unreal. What is happening with him feels too good to be true, but some things just are this good. That is why life is worth living and you aren’t going to stop trying to give him anything you can give until he never forgets it.

“Come on, time is of the essence, my love.” Five swiftly leads you on again through the throngs of people going to and from whatever they are doing on this sunny Saturday in the city.

My love?

That’s a new one. It's sort of old fashion but also very classic and sweet. It's very him.

Five peeks at you out of the corner of his eye and you can tell he’s checking your reaction, which is full blushing and fidgeting like a silly schoolgirl in love.

There is no need to tell him you liked it. He knows.

As you are smiling to yourself over this fast but wonderful feeling growing inside your heart, all of a sudden your hand in Five’s feels oddly very hot.

Like burning hot.

“Ow!” you shout as you instinctually pull away from the pain. “Five?”

Five crumbles to the ground, his knees hitting the pavement hard as his hands pull together clenching and shaking uncontrollably.

“Five!”

It’s like he can’t answer. There are what looks like blue flames erupting around his hands and his face is twisting in pure agony. His teeth are clenched so hard it looks like they might shatter as his entire body folds in on itself and spasms.

Even Five’s pale but beautiful skin is suddenly turning the most terrifying grayish hue of death.

You try to touch him and his head swings back, his neck bending back with a snap as his face looks up to the sky. His soft green eyes are now filled with the same nightmarish blue light that is beginning to spread around the rest of his body. It's like it's coming out of him.

You can’t even get close enough to touch him because the heat of the electrical storm engulfing him burns you with blistering heat. Five is clearly being hurt by what is happening but what burned you doesn't seem to be actually burning him in the same way.

You hold your injured hand to your chest, but you don’t care how bad it feels, all you want to do is help Five so you start to come at him again.

“NO!” Five screams in the most terrifying way but you don’t know if it’s at you or from what’s happening to him. You stop anyway, in part because how scared he sounds, and also because you simply can't get close enough to him to do anything.

This entire time, the other people on the sidewalk have been steadily moving away from this unimaginable scene happening before their eyes. But when you frantically look out in search of anyone willing to help, you realize that most of them aren’t even looking at Five.

Your eyes follow theirs upwards along the skyline filled with looming skyscrapers.

Now you see why they aren’t worried about the stranger on the street dying in front of them.

The top of The Hargreeves International building is alight with the exact same blue fire that’s all over Five, and the flames are spreading outwards in the sky and spilling down the sides of the building at an alarming rate.

Just as you look back down at Five, the blue electricity snaps ferociously, lashing outwards. He collapses, his head smacking the cement. His mouth opens in a silent scream that matches your very real one, and then just like that, Five is gone.

“No, no, no, no, no, this can’t be happening.” You look all around, and he’s just gone. The supernatural light covering him blinked out in the matter of a second and Five disappeared with it.

Before you can even try to understand what just happened to Five and if it was his own lost power somehow coming back and doing that to him, or if it has something to do with his dad's building and what is happening in the burning sky raining down around you, everything comes to an abrupt and ominously quiet halt.

No one is moving or screaming. People are frozen mid step in their frantic attempts to run away.

In a dazed like state of shock you lift your scorched hand, looking at your red fingers. Time and space around you are standing still but for some reason you are not a part of it.

As if one inconceivably bad thing taking away the man you are falling in love with isn't enough, things instantly start moving again and now you are watching a wave of bursting blue light rushing towards you, sucking away everything in its path.

Again, thank you for reading this. ❤️

If you are interested in my other stories, hit the link below.

Master Post List to my Five Centric Stories and art

Link to visit me on A03

Link to my other posts on Tumblr

Special shout out to one of my friends and favorite Five fiction TUA author's. Thanks for all the kind words and reblogs!

@mangoshorthand. Hit this link to visit her Tumblr blog and checkout her amazing Five-centric series and one-shots

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thebiggerbear · 14 days

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May - Monthly Writing Updates

Hey all, sorry I haven't done one of these the past two months. It's been a loooong two months. My butt has been kicked but I'm doing my best to get back to everything.

Firstly, welcome to all of my new followers. 👋 I really appreciate the follow!!! 😊

Secondly, in case you haven't seen me talking about it recently or checked out the A/N on I need your hand but I don't want to burn it, I lost a loved one back in February and then I had to put down my fur baby in the beginning of April (suffice to say, it has not been a great year so far personally). The only reason I'm mentioning it is it has unfortunately affected my writing drive, severely. So right now, I'm just focusing on implementing as much self-care as I can, I'm taking my time, and not pushing myself (or the drive) too hard. My writing muse has been all over the place, bouncing from WIP to WIP, outline to outline, idea to idea, etc, but I'm trying to get her back under control and focused, more disciplined. So please bear with me as I continue to work through this.

That being said, I am currently trying to work on a few things in the fleeting moments I've been able to get into the zone:

part 2 of i need your hand - I'm finishing some things up for certain chapter events and then it should be ready to be posted

Chapter 3 of Ghosts

Chapter 4 of Holding (just gotta flesh out the last scene a little more and then it should be good to go)

Part 2 of Follow Me

Chapter 1 of Keep Me (I know you guys have been waiting for this one for a while, I apologize, I just want to make sure I have the tone right for this reader character and the initial setup overall)

the Dean/Bella one shot I previewed here

Prompt responses for: multiple characters (and yes, this includes Part 2 of both Dean and SB's Sleep I'll Keep You Safe prompts)

a still untitled Beau 3-part short story I mentioned back in Dec

dropping of two new story masterlists (looking to do that in the coming week)

delving back into the Jake one shot I mentioned here

finishing a Jason one shot I previewed here

outlining a new short story for Rip

a Jenny/Reader one shot that just needs finishing touches, literally down to the last few paragraphs

diving back into the Daenerys short story I started a little while back as well as the Alec McDowell short story I mentioned a while back in January I believe it was

delving once more into the CJ project I previewed a while back in January I believe

Chapter 3 of Their Silent Thunder (and getting back into some Beau/Cassie goodness in general, especially to finish up those prompt responses and one shots I have listed on their ship masterlist)

finishing up the other short story for Beau I previewed here

(sorry I have no idea if the links above work anymore or not, I had started this post back in April before losing my fur baby and had them linked then, hopefully they still work!)

I also have some new works coming for:

Arya Stark

Bane

Optimus

Beau Arlen

Jenny Hoyt

Soldier Boy

Billy Butcher

Anael

John Winchester

Castiel

Sam Winchester

Rachel Gatina

Hermione Granger

SDV Leah

SDV Haley

SDV Shane

HM Ann

HM Karen

Jonerys

Beau x Jenny

Cassenny

Destiel

Buddie

BuckTommy

Daenerys x Margaery

and more

Just want to say thank you for all of your kindness, compassion, words of support, and virtual hugs. As well as your patience and understanding. Thank you. ❤️

#monthly writing updates #writing updates #story updates #may 2024 #thebiggerbear

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moomoomooing · 3 months

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mild rant? mostly thoughts :)

yk ive just not been a fan of how quickly my mood and possible depression is flipping from eberythings fine and im only a little stressed but its ok! to jesus fuck let me rot (projects and deadlines are suddenly piled up and its overwhelming, but i also feel like this when i have nothing i can do)

i try to keep on a shower schedule cause of my class times (i have night classes half of the days so i shower on my off days) but it means i gotta be nasty for a day on sunday till i shower that night. and i never have the willpower to go to the studio feeling nasty,,, even if it wouldve been great to get work done and satiate the restlessness i get from being in my dorm all day

but i didnt and now im plagued with guilt and more stress/ anxiety yippees

on another note my roommate is really REALLY good at finding ALL of my triggers for anxiety or fight or flight responses. so far they nailed using my mirror/being TOO close to my belongings without asking (they eventually asked and i gave permission out of being nice but i severely dislike it and it makes me hyperaware of everything she does when i hear her close to my dresser). they got my i will tense up and not breathe till its over response to alarm sounds (i hate them theyre incredibly anxiety inducing and i always wake up before my alarm usually out of fear. thankfully now my alarms a last resort/reminder of time if i dont wake up early). and!! they let the door slam (boo loud noises), are constantly on a call they often dont wear earbuds for and talk really loudly half the time, or is on call past 12 am (i feel intrusive and also please i cant sleep if youre on call)

theres also other general icks that are hopefully getting better? im noticing less of smth that i hate that they do (its a not cleaning after yourself type deal) but it could just be coincidence

oh also im trying to apply for jobs (remote part-times or internships) and frankly im scared. the reason it took me so long to get a job in highschool was also straight fear and anxiety lmao

i would love money tho (pssst i have commissions open :D)

OW SHARP RINGING NOISE WHERE DID YOU COME FROM????????? ALL OF THE WHITE NOISE DISSAPEARED AND ITS ONLY THAT

anyways i got another strike of hypersensitive skin??? no idea what causes it but it made the underneath of my forearm feel like i scraped it across concrete. 0/10 i didnt have a pleasant showering experience

oh on a better note being so far removed from my family and the fact we basically never call or text has been quite freeing

its like when i was actually at public highschool and had agency over myself in a way i didnt have when my mom was around (basically her presence was usually STRESS)

on a lesser note i havent been talking with my two other friends (ill call em the trio, them plus me) and its been kinda radio silence from everyone? i havent exactly been great either but my infrequent requests for vcs are usually ignored or not responded too which sucks. it makes me more paranoid than id like to be

our time difference definitely makes it way harder too tho, im ahead by a few hours. ik weve gone months without talking before then picked it right back up, but im always scared during the radio silence anyways

im always scared and curious abt other ppls opinions on me, usually the ppl i consider friends. ik one of my friends likes me? but their friends (the 4 of us will be rooming together next year, theyre also technically my friends but my usually point of contact with them is through my friend) i cant tell how much they like me? its probably my unfamiliarity with them but it makes me nervous for no reason

anyways if you actually read all of this, sorry for taking away your time? i reccomend soft gepard x sampo (hsr) fics to soothe the mind, theyre cute.

also hey haha if youre one of the two friends, literally the nickels, are reading this? erase it from your mind please and thanks

#maybe thinking abt giving your cat a signed consent form to allow them to eat your corpse should you die and the baby has no food #isnt exactly a normal and perfectly sane thought #but what if the baby needs it bc someone tried to be mean abt it :(#jesus ok maybe i should fight with my mom again for some diagnosis #i got told that my level of anxiety is totally normal and i just need to deal with it

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orimaze · 2 years

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The First Generation

4. Preparations

Grace: (She wakes up later in the morning than usual since the bed is more comfortable than expected. The long journey over the past few days also exhausted her quite a bit. During her restful sleep she dreamt of Lionel and Ted, she dreamt about how they would help her find the other heroes and bring peace to the land. She will do whatever she can to make that dream come true. Lionel said he would convince Theodor to join… Hopefully he can. It would be heartbreaking if the dream of uniting the heroes would fail at the very first step.

She prepares for the day and leaves her room to go back downstairs. It's really quiet compared to yesterday, probably because the tavern is closed in the early morning hours. Looking around downstairs she sees no one, but the door to the kitchen is slightly ajar.) Hello? (She steps closer to the counter to get a better look at the kitchen door, but there's no response.)

Lionel: He's probably in the storage~

Grace: (She jumps at his voice and turns towards the stairs. To her surprise he barely makes any sound while walking. It doesn't look like he's doing it on purpose either, but he still laughs at her reaction which causes her to blush and look away quickly.)

Lionel: I didn't mean to startle you~ Good morning.

Grace: (She strokes some of her loose hair behind her ear, gaze fixed onto the wood of the counter.) Good morning…

Lionel: (He steps closer to sit down next to where she's standing.) How was your night?

Grace: (She hesitates before taking the seat next to him.) The bed was more comfortable than I would have thought at first…

Lionel: Yea, it's actually pretty nice here. Probably why I barely sleep at home. (He laughs.)

Grace: (She can't help but smile a bit.) Doesn't your family worry about you if you're always here?

Lionel: I don't think dead people can worry much about anything. (He stretches to grab something from the other side of the counter.)

Grace: Oh… (Wow. How could she be so ignorant? So many people have lost their families and she asks a question like this. She feels horrible as her cheeks redden out of embarrassment.) I-I'm sorry… (She watches him fill a glass with water from the tap on the other side of the counter.)

Lionel: (He puts the glass down in front of her before taking a new one and filling it up as well.) Don't be. You're an optimistic person filled with hope, I'm not surprised that you want to assume people still have families and live happily without worries. (He sits back down with his own glass and lifts it to his lips while smiling. He didn't turn his body towards her, so he just looks at her from the side.)

Grace: (She looks at him as he lifts his glass, but immediately looks back at her own water when she sees his eyes fixed on her. That smile… Wow.)

Lionel: (He's amused by her reaction and finally drinks his water.)

Grace: (He looks even better now that all the dirt is gone… Even though the dirt did make his eyes glow… What am I thinking? I have to focus. He's trying to help me fix things.) Thank you…

Lionel: (He puts down the glass but doesn't look at her.) For what?

Grace: For helping me.

Lionel: You're not the only one who wants to change things. A lot of people are tired of these fancy pants who think they own the place. Including Ted. He will help.

Grace: Did you speak with him yet…?

Lionel: Earlier today, while you were still sleeping.

Grace: (He was up before her? Somehow she thought he also just woke up, probably because she saw him drinking yesterday. And he was so dirty from working all day… But then again, he might just be used to this lifestyle.) What did he say?

Lionel: Ask him yourself~

Ted: (As if being summoned, he walks in through the kitchen door with a wooden crate in his arms. He places it onto the counter and starts filling it with bottles from the shelves around him.) Ask me what?

Grace: (She's a bit surprised at his timing and needs a moment to respond.) …Good morning Theodor…

Ted: Good morning, princess. Did you sleep well?

Grace: (Princess? She's flustered. She usually doesn't act like this around others. Why does she feel so different with these two?) I slept in because of how comfortable the bed was, I apologize…

Ted: No need. We didn't expect you to get up early.

Grace: Did you… Are you coming with me?

Ted: I have to take care of a few things today, since we will be gone for quite a while.

Grace: (Her heart jumps. He will actually help her find the others?! How did Lionel convince him? She looks at him sitting next to her but once she sees that he's looking directly at her she immediately stares at the counter again. That smile…) Take your time… I don't want to rush you.

Ted: (He noticed her reaction to Lie's smile while cleaning up. It's always the same with this guy.) It's okay. We shouldn't waste too much time, so I'll be ready by tomorrow morning. You should use the day to rest up, you still look very exhausted.

Grace: (He's right… Even with such a good night's rest, she still feels exhausted.)

Ted: Eat something before you go back to bed.

Lionel: (He stands up to go around the counter and walks into the kitchen.)

Grace: (She watches him leave, slightly confused.) Is he allowed to just do that? (She looks at Ted with a surprised expression after Lionel has disappeared.)

Ted: (He smiles at her.) Even if he wasn't, he wouldn't care. Lie isn't really the type to follow rules.

Grace: (She blushes again, not really understanding why.) But wouldn't that mean the way things are right now are better for him…? He doesn't have to listen to anyone…

Ted: He's a bit more complex than that. He wants peace, let's just leave it at that for now.

Grace: Okay… (She watches as Lionel comes back with a plate in hand. She's surprised yet again when he places it in front of her.) For me?

Lionel: Of course~

Grace: (She has to dodge his eyes again. Why does he always smile?)

Ted: Don't worry about paying for it. We kinda are a team now.

Grace: (A team…? She looks at the meal and her stomach growls, causing her to blush once more.)

Lionel: (He stops himself from commenting on it to not overwhelm her and goes back into the kitchen to help Ted with his preparations.)

Ted: Feel free to look around the place if you don't want to sleep. (He also continues to pack up and clean everything.)

Grace: Thank you… (She finally starts eating and thinks about everything that has happened since she has arrived here. After finishing her breakfast Lionel immediately takes away the plate so she can't even offer to return it to the kitchen herself. She looks at Ted, but it's clear to her that he doesn't want her to help them so instead she goes back upstairs to head into her room. He's right, she should really try to sleep some more. Who knows how long it will take until they can find another comfortable place to sleep. She gets ready for bed and lies back down.)

#stories #fantasy

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nihyunluvskookie · 2 years

Text

“I’m sorry for being late”

“Seungcheol one shot”

Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x female reader

Genre: Angst? mafia au

Warnings: mention blood, gun, bullets, anxiety

Word count: 2.5K

Author’s Note: I was confused which member would go with this and then I literally went to twt just to ask oomfs and they suggested Jeonghan? I was in dilemma should I put Jeonghan or Seungcheol but I’m ending up with Seungcheol because of the grip this man has on me. Hopefully you’ll like this, happy reading <3

I came out after a long shower, I was feeling better. I blow dried my hair and then looked at the time, it was 1:17 am. I went towards the bed, and saw Aera sleeping peacefully, she was missing him a lot and finally slept an hour ago. I wonder when will he come back, even I miss him. Everything was so dead silence; I could see the black clouds floating in the sky. Being a doctor, and being the wife of the biggest mafia in this country, leaves me with a question, that is; seeking for peace? It’s just something you can get only for countable times only because you’re the one who choose this thing for your life.

Living like this I need to be aware of everything. Be careful everytime, at work, at home, literally everywhere. I walked to the balcony, I looked at the moon, it looked so pretty. I miss him, I know he will be back soon but I miss him, I miss his warmth and his cuddles at night. I sighed thinking about him, I went back to check up on Aera, she’s sleeping peacefully.

I was sitting on the bed, and I heard something, it was a sound of something falling. I shrugged it off maybe because the windows are open and the wind is quite strong, I diverted my attention back to Aera. I was caressing her hair, I love her so much, nights like this, when he is late, I just stare at her to make me feel comforted, because she’s a part of him.

I kissed Aera’s forehead, “I love you so much baby” and then I heard the sound of glasses falling and breaking. I got startled because of that, I looked at the time, it was 1:29 am. The sound of things falling and breaking started getting clearer. My instincts were telling me something was wrong, I took my phone was on the night stand and ran to the balcony, everything was silence, not a single person was visible. I went to switch off the night light which were on. I tried calling, Seungcheol, I was not sure what was happening, I looked at Aera who was sleeping.

I went to the wardrobe, there was a gun; which he gave it to me, he told me to use it; if something happens. I ran towards the wardrobe and searched for the gun, I heard a gunshot. My hands stopped for a second then resumed searching for it, I can’t stop here and I realized I’ve 4 years old Aera with me. I opened the last drawer and found the gun.

I took it out and went to Aera, I tried waking her up and I was still trying to call Seungcheol but he wasn’t picking up. He never does this, I was calling him again and again but there was no response, I was getting scared. I tried waking up Aera, “baby wake up, Aera?”

“Aera wake up, baby wake up” after shaking her few more times, she slowly opened her eyes. She was about to speak and I shushed her, “Aera, I need you to listen to mama” she nodded, “from now on don’t make a noise and we will be going to dad right now, I will be driving, okay? Can you be a good girl and listen to mama?” she nodded, she rubbed her eyes and I picked her up, I gave her the phone, “baby try calling dad” I was holding her in one side and grabbed the car keys which were on the table; I was holding the gun in other hand.

I heard one more gunshot and I covered Aera’s ears. I looked at her, her eyes were teary. She was never exposed to this and I don’t want her to get involved. She was shivering in my embrace, I walked towards the door, and since everything was dark I have to be careful. I opened the door without making any noise and the sound of footsteps got closer. I stood there to know from where they are coming.

“Mrs. Choi, we know you’re here. You better come out right now or else we can’t guarantee what’s gonna happen next” I took a glance at Aera, she looked like she was about to cry. I kissed her and whispered “baby, hold me tight and the phone, don’t drop it no matter what” she nodded and her tears started streaming down. I ran down the stairs which was on the other side. The darkness was replaced by the light suddenly, I looked up and then noticed five men, holding guns, all dressed in black. They noticed me, and as soon as they had the eye contact, my mind went blank because I was standing in the halfway of the stairs. I couldn’t think of anything and shot the lights and the chandelier, it fell and Aera screamed. I ran towards the door and somehow managed to get out of the door and just went towards the garage. I ran towards my car, Aera was crying very badly. I wanted to comfort her but I need to get out of this place and go to Seungcheol as soon as possible. I placed Aera inside the car as fast as I can and put the straps around her, she was a crying mess. Nothing like this happened after Aera’s birth, I kissed her on her cheeks and wiped her tears “Baby, few minutes more”. I closed the door and got into the car as well and started driving it. As soon as I started driving, I heard gun shots and I looked from the mirror that they were shooting at our car so I had to speed up car.

“Aera call your dad, right now” I won’t lie if I said I wasn’t scared, and it’s not only me alone, I’ve Aera with me. I can’t let anything happen to her, she’s my life. I connected my phone with the car. He still wasn’t picking up, how can he do that? I already called him so many times, he doesn’t even have time to pick my calls now? Or did something happen? Thinking about this, it gave me goosebumps. I again tried calling him, and he still didn’t pick up.

My eyes were focused on the road, I knew where he would be right now, so I was driving, I can’t be reckless even if I’m scared like this, because I’ve our daughter with me. I was trying to calm myself down, being a doctor, I know how to calm myself in serious situations down but nothing was working for me right now. I somehow managed to find the contact of Seungcheol’s Secretary, I was about to call him and I heard a gunshot and to my surprise, the bullet hit my car.

I heard Aera’s cries “Mommy I’m scared” I couldn’t help anything at that moment and drove the car with speed I was driving in, I called his Secretary. “Wh-

“Where is Seungcheol??!! GET HIM IN THE LINE RIGHT NOW,” I didn’t think I would yell at him like this, yes I was pissed and terrified and that’s the result, I was holding back my tears because of Aera, I cant cry our infront of her.

“I NE-

AH” I let out a scream, the moment I felt their car gave a good hit to my car. I had no choice other than driving the car with all the speed I could.

“Ma’am” that was the last word from Mr. Lee I heard before the line went dead, I wanted to hit the streeling wheel so bad, I wanted to kill those people. I pulled my car to the highway and drove it without getting distracted. Thankfully I know the way to Seungcheol’s place, I can’t rely on him fully when he is not even picking up my call. “Mama, I want to see Dad” I heard Aera’s cries, my heart was aching so bad, I wanted to hold her and calm her down.

“We are on the way sweetie” I have no idea why are tears streaming down my face.

After good fifteen minutes, I didn’t see any car following me, I heaved a sigh and slowed down my car to the normal speed and drove to his place. I wanted to relax but my anxiety wasn’t giving me a break. I was about to take another turn and I saw a car infront of me, I pressed the breaks with all my force and stopped my car from hitting the car which was infront of me.

How can a person be so careless, what if that car accidently hit mine or I did the accident? I saw three more cars coming, from back and I knew I am in dead end. I took the gun which was in the passenger’s seat, I had just one thought, that was I need to save Aera. I held the gun tight and went out of the car, and went to take out Aera. She looked scared and I kissed her on her temples, I wish she could smile right now to make me feel better. I held her tight in my arms. I saw three men coming out from the car which was standing infront of me, dressed in black.

Only I knew how much I was shivering with fear and how badly I wanted to run away or just want to be in Seungcheol’s embrace. My gun was ready, if I pull the trigger, I can kill these people but since I already used two bullets back at home, there are few bullets left and I can still go for 16 rounds.

“Mrs. Choi, you sure are so pretty, you look prettier at night.” I heard one of them who was walking towards me.

“what do you want?” I screamed back, I was still standing near my car. “If you come closer, I will shoot you, so be careful, I know how to shoot and I will directly aim your head or heart, don’t forget I’m a doctor, I know better than anyone else where to shoot”

“Pretty girls with weapons are dangerous I guess” he took a pause “You should know the reason, why we are here, such a shame.” That man laughed hysterically, I wanted to shoot him so bad. “Baby please close your eyes” and I brought Aera’s face closer to the crook of my neck, I would never want her to witness these things. The whole place was silent and I could hear them walking towards me, “I told you don’t come closer” when they didn’t stop, I pulled the trigger aiming one of them and shot him.

“Lady take it easy! Why would you shoot him?” I wanted to buy time but they weren’t cooperating at all, how much I wanted Seungcheol to track me and come. “I told you, if you come closer I will shoot you and kill you right here, don’t you understand?”

Three of them came closer, I was stepping back bit by bit, I can’t take risk but I already took the risk and shot one of them. Soon, I was facing them and they were right infront of me, and I heard the cars stopping. “Don’t try to over smart us, Mrs. Choi.” And he held my chin tightly, I removed it with all the force I had, “How dare you touch me” and I kicked him on his knee. He groaned in pain.

He took out the gun and directly pointed it to Aera, I held the gun, “Don’t you dare to do anything or else I will kill you before Seungcheol finds you and kill you” I had enough courage to say this. I took out the gun and pointed to his chest, “Don’t you dare to do shit right now or else I will pull this trigger”

“And do you think you and this kid will live after you shoot me?” he had a smirk, I felt more people coming towards me. This can’t be the end, right? I ain’t losing my life like this.

He was looking back at his members, and I got a chance so I started taking steps to my right side, so that I could shoot them and run, I was left with no choice but to run as much as I can. “Mrs. Choi” he called up my name again, and I froze “what are you thinking?” he looked at me, and I was successfully at a distance from this man. I aimed the gun at them, “Try something stupid and we will kill you and your daughter here, and you great husband can’t even find your bodies” I felt my shoulder getting wet, Aera was crying.

“Do you think I’m scared? I will kill you before he does” I pulled the trigger and next thing I felt was a sharp pain on my arms, a bullet hit me, and my gun fell on the ground. “Jia!”

There was a gunshot, I looked to my left, I saw him running towards me, tears started streaming down my face, I tried running towards him without even thinking twice. I don’t care even if a bullet hits me right now, I want him, I want him to hold me tight, I want to be in his embrace, my home.

I saw him taking out his gun and shoot back-to-back; blood dripping down my arms, it was hurting me. The moment I saw him infront of me, he hugged me tight “Jia, Aera” my tears weren’t stopping. I heard Aera’s cries got harder, “Baby dad is here, so don’t worry” the moment I heard him say this, I felt his grip got tighter around me.

“Secretary Lee hold her” He took Aera from my arms, the moment he took her from me, I felt like I had no strength at all. “Jia...” he was holding me, I could barely keep my eyes open, I could see him tensing up, “Cheol… Hol..hold… me” and I felt like my legs gave up.

“Jia, look at me, love don’t close your eyes” his voice was so comforting to me.

“Secretary Lee, take Aera and I’ll be heading back to home, and call the doctor, I can’t let her close her eyes, I just can’t” he was looking back at Secretary Lee and me.

“Jia, love look at me please” he picked me up and I held his shirt tight, I felt the world slowing down. He was looking at me, apologizing. “I’m sorry for being late” I wanted to tell him it’s fine and then wanted to cry in his embrace but I had no strength at all, “Love look at me, don’t close your eyes, you’re a doctor you know what can happen” my tears were streaming down my face.

“It’s all good now, everything’s fine now” he took me to his car, still holding me in his embrace.

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nullsleepy · 2 years

Text

The Strike of a Villainess

Chapter One: Just a Normal Night

Prologue, Chapter 1(here), Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

Marinette’s soft bed beckoned her to lay down, get the sleep she deserved, but Marinette just shook her head. She couldn’t get sleep, not now. Hawkmoth was still at large, still sending akumas to terrorize Paris’s citizens. She needed to solve his identity, she had to. Paris is depending on her.

“Master?” Wayzz looked up to the sluggish girl, his worried tone conveyed things only Marinette could understand.

“I can’t Wayzz, we’re this close to solving his identity! This close! Our only chance for saving Paris and getting revenge for Master Fu depends on if I can do this!” Tears formed in her eyes, desperation in her voice. “I just.. I need to do this, Wayzz, I need to.”

“Master.” The kwami’s stern voice echoed around the room. He flew over to her bag, trying to fish something out.

“…?” Marinette walked towards the Kwami, looking at what he was to pull out. She couldn’t make it out, as her lights were only shown at her desk and the map.

Wayzz felt bad for the young miraculous master, aware of how her life would just waste away if she continued at this pace. He knew she needed a break, no matter how small.

Fishing out an object about his size, he brought the rectangular device to her.

“Wayzz… Why are you giving me my phone?” Marinette questioned, taking it from the kwami.

“Master, take a break. Even Master Fu took time to drink tea or paint!” The turtle kwami gave the girl puppy eyes, looking sadder than Marinette had ever seen.

“……” Marinette looked away, biting her lip. She couldn’t fall for it, she had a responsibility she needed to complete. She had to save Paris!

“………master?” Marinette took a quick glance at the kwami, feeling her resistance fade.

“Fine. But only for a few minutes! I have a responsibility for Paris, Wayzz!” Her eyes showed her reluctance, but she knew she couldn’t go against the tiny being. Those eyes had seen lives worse than her, had personally lived lives worse than hers.

“Of course Master, of course.” The kwami’s closed eyed smirk made Marinette almost regret giving in to his begging. Almost.

So, despite her inner turmoil, Marinette quickly input her code as she walked over to her bed. She would just play a game or something for a few minutes, then get back to her task.

Falling back first onto her soft bed. It was like it was swallowing her whole. So comfortable.. NO! Marinette, snap out of it! You have a job to do! You’re just taking a small break, only for a couple minutes. You don’t have time to sleep!

Marinette forced herself back into an upright position, ignoring the bed’s call. She sent a quick glare at the feather-like mattress. She wouldn’t fall for it, no sleep would stop her. No comfortable, soft, warm mattress would get her to sleep.. A small nap wouldn’t hurt, would it?

Almost drawing blood from biting her lip so hard, Marinette quickly went back on her phone. She just needed to download some random game to distract her. Clicking on her App Store (she had just gotten a new phone and didn’t have any games on it), Marinette pressed on the first game she saw. Hopefully it’s distracting enough.

“Miracles Do Come True?” Marinette whispered to herself. What a.. unique name. Looking at the description, Marinette quickly realized why it was called that.

“Miracles Do Come True!”

“Based off popular series DC comics, we introduce to you “Miracles Do Come True!”, an otome game allowing you, the player, to romance heroes, vigilantes, AND villains! Date robin, marry Batman, kiss the Joker! Do whatever you want, but try not to get caught!”

How.. interesting..

It wasn’t something that would likely take all of her attention but it also wouldn’t be boring enough she’d somehow fall asleep. Let’s see what you got Miracles Do Come True.

Notes: I am SO sorry for how long this took, writers block is a pain!! Currently have an ear infection, so it might take a while again, but I will try to write the next chapter soon!!! I love y’all!!!!

Taglist

@shadosakushi @cydaeashootingstar @khneltea

#maribat #dc x mlb #mlb x dc #mlb x batman #daminette

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raine-kai · 3 years

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Contextualizing the Messy AkiHaru Scene

So...it came to my attention that a lot of translations of the scene where Akihiko crashes at Haruki's house in chapter 20 of the manga or the anime movie suggest that nothing happened more than we see in the panels/on the screen.

This is a translation error. The Japanese is unambiguous that a lot happened during the scene break; the art backs this up, in the change to Haruki's hairstyle from before to after the scene break.

Mainly, I want to retranslate for people who are interested, who didn't know that this was a mistranslation. But, I think that no matter how the scene is translated, there are subtexts and undercurrents that are lost, that cannot be simply translated into existence.

So I would like to explain several things in the lead-up to the scene in question, as well as in the aftermath, in order to hopefully give more context.

WARNINGS FOR SPOILERS AND NONCON

Notes on Translation: Given astonished me from its very first chapter with its deliberate and brilliant use of words. It is a story that is so incredibly articulate when it wants to be that moments of wordlessness or fragmented words are equally articulate, for they are crafted with as much deliberation and care as the articulate moments. As anyone knows who has ever tried to translate something, just plain translating the surface meaning of words often leaves a lot of the meaning behind. I will do my best to convey in English what the original text conveyed to me in Japanese, but it will inevitably fall short of the original text.

The Lead-In

First off, let's talk about Akihiko and the particular damage that he brings with him into this scene. He, of course, has the argument with Ugetsu and the fact that he has nowhere to go; but he has also been living this way for two years, presumably only a little longer than he has known Haruki. Akihiko describes the patterns that he and Ugetsu go through:

[Translation: "Even since Ugetsu and I broke up, we periodically continue to clash. Sometimes it's about the timing at which Ugetsu found a new guy. Sometimes it's just before or after Ugetsu is away for a long time. Sometimes these clashes come suddenly, immediately after we have been intimate for a few days, just like we used to be.]

Later, Akihiko reveals that he has a pattern of dealing with being kicked out of the home he shares with Ugetsu by finding someone, anyone to stay with. He has come to associate these stays as transactions, where the thing that he provides is most often sex. (We also see this transaction-based approach in his relationship with Ugetsu, for whom he feels compelled to cook—a thing that he later continues for Haruki with an urgency that does not match Haruki's easygoing acceptance of this dynamic.)

In fact, we see hints that perhaps Akihiko associates crashing with someone with providing sex to a deeper degree than even he acknowledges, in a scene in volume 1 where he crashed at Haruki's apartment while drunk, and upon stating it would be too much trouble to pull out a futon, did not merely crawl into bed with Haruki, but on top of him.

[Translation: Haru: Akihiko, get a futon and sleep wherever... Aki: Whaaat? But that's so much effort... Haru: So sleep on the....floor....]

So this is a deeply engrained association for Akihiko.

However, it is also a part of his life that he has gone out of his way to conceal from Haruki. From Haruki, he has not merely concealed the many times that he has essentially prostituted himself for a place to sleep; he has also hidden from Haruki that he has any flatmate at all, much less the nature of his relationship with said flatmate.

Haruki has the idea that Akihiko used to sleep around, but does not anymore. He is blinded partly by his own desire to see only the best parts of Akihiko; he is also blinded by Akihiko's desire to only reveal the best parts of himself to Haruki.

In volume 4, we see the moment that Akihiko lets slip that he has a flatmate, and the degree to which this shakes Haruki.

But the more emotional moment for Haruki comes when he realizes that Akihiko is talking to him on the phone while having sex with a woman.

[Translation: "That was a woman.... He was totally having sex."]

No promises have been broken; no trust has been betrayed. But there is an illusion of Akihiko that Haruki has, that Akihiko himself has carefully cultivated over the recent months for a reason that even he cannot explain. It is a paper-thin illusion, that only held up because Akihiko and Haruki both wanted it there.

But now, that illusion is shattering.

This just so happens to overlap with Take suggesting that Haruki take on a support role in his ex-gf's band.

Haruki has struggled from volume 1 with insecurities. He is the band leader; he is the one who brought them together, the one who runs their social media, the one who keeps them in line. Given is a band that absolutely would never have existed without Haruki. Yet he feels outshined by the other three members. There are several scenes depicting Haruki struggling with this. Akihiko is often the one to whom he voices his insecurities, and always without fail sets him straight. There is one particular exchange, during the same conversation when Akihiko reveals that he has a flatmate, when Haruki calls himself ordinary (凡人枠) and Akihiko retorts that he is not, he is 調停者枠....which is difficult to translate, but essentially means mediator, but in this case is denoting that he is the one who brings the different pieces of the band together (both musically, and as a person). Akihiko tells him then, "You're the one that everybody seeks," with a particular look in his eyes even as he reaches for Haruki's face. (Haruki pulls away and Akihiko pulls back and laughs it off.)

But the undercurrent is, for the first time, Haruki is beginning to see the truth of the words that he never quite believed. He is wanted and needed...he just needs to find a way to explain this to the other members of Given. In particular, Akihiko, who has always felt to Haruki like someone on equal or higher footing than himself, despite Haruki himself being older.

And these are the undercurrents at play as we head into the scene in question.

The Crucial Chapters 19-20

Akihiko shows up on Haruki's doorstop in the middle of the night, with an injured face from a fight with Ugetsu.

Haruki lets him in and they start talking as usual....but this time, it's different. They are both just a little bit at odds in a way they have never been before.

Haruki is aware, now, of a facet of Akihiko's life that until recently he had believed was left in the past.

Akihiko perceives that Haruki is hiding something, and in his typical way, immediately wants to know what it is.

This is why, when Akihiko asks his questions and asks if Haruki is hiding something, Haruki snaps back in a way we have never seen him do before:

[Tr: "[I am, but] you're one to talk!"]

Akihiko grabs Haruki by the wrist and asks again, and Haruki tells him...but throws in that the band he is doing support for is his ex's band.

Akihiko responds, "So you're going back to your ex?" and proceeds to crawl on top of Haruki to acknowledge for the first time what has always been unspoken between them: "You're in love with me, yet you're gonna run away?"

As Haruki lies sputtering for a response (he tries to pretend ignorance, but can't finish a sentence, between Akihiko pressing closer and his own shock) Akihiko reaches for Haruki's braid—the hair that Haruki has been growing out for as long as he has known Akihiko, as something like a wish charm (願掛け) for his love; the hair that Akihiko is somewhat obsessed with, taking every opportunity he can to play with it or style it—and speaks words that reveal that he is still fixated on Haruki's ex.

[Full text: 春樹さぁ、元カノがどうとか言ってたけど、お前こんなんで本当に女なんか抱いてたの？

Translation: You talk about this ex-girlfriend, Haruki, but did you seriously have sex with women like this?

Note: the こんなんで/"like this" is beautifully ambiguous. On a surface level of course it is referring to Haruki's long hair—with all the years of pining and love for Akihiko that that implies—but it also draws attention to how they are right now. The fact that Akihiko has crawled on top of Haruki as he has before, and Haruki does not fully push him away. It draws attention to the way that Akihiko himself is so central to Haruki's entire being.]

While Haruki flushes and thinks to himself, "Shut up, shut up! I did have sex with women, before I met you!" Meanwhile, Akihiko kisses him—a kiss that the art carefully does not show us lip-to-lip, either only showing us angles where we cannot see the point of contact, or focusing on the contact of only their tongues. Make no mistake, this is not a romantic kiss. This is a kiss full of frustration and pent up emotions and two years of unspoken, unacknowledged emotion brewing between these two.

Akihiko begins to strip Haruki further, and Haruki interjects, 「え、うそ、うそうそ、待った」(tr: "Wha- wait wait wait, just a sec"), which Akihiko ignores, and proceeds to begin performing oral sex on Haruki, even as he acknowledges internally that his actions are taking out his frustration with Ugetsu on Haruki.

[Note: the words Haruki uses at this point are not clear "Stop" signals. え、うそ、待った are all words that convey shock and uncertainty, and it is noteworthy that Haruki does not at any point use a word that would convey an equivalent of "Stop". That doesn't make this consensual, as his consent has not been obtained, but this is important to note, that Haruki deliberately does not ever outright tell Akihiko to stop.]

This is where Akihiko reflects on his messy relationship with Ugetsu, and the lingering hold it has on him:

Even since Ugetsu and I broke up, we periodically continue to clash. Sometimes it's about the timing at which Ugetsu found a new guy. Sometimes it's just before or after Ugetsu is away for a long time. Sometimes these clashes come suddenly, immediately after we have been intimate for a few days, just like we used to be. Like he is urging me, "Great, here's an opportunity. Let's part ways and break up for real." Like he is shutting me out of his world by force, to reinforce that he doesn't need me. What the hell? If you don't want me, why do you allow me to hold on? If you sympathize with my holding on, why do you try to throw me away? I want to trap you. I want to escape. I want to give up. I can't fully give up. I want to touch you. I can't breathe...

And when Akihiko comes back to the present, some time has past. His shirt is gone, Haruki places a hand over Akihiko's with tears in his eyes, and for the first time, says やめてよ [approx. translation: "Please stop," but this is a very gentle way of saying it—a plea in softer language]....and then continues, そんな顔しないでよ、辛そうな顔しないでよ、なんなの？言ってよ、なんでもしてあげるから [tr: "Please stop looking like that, like you're in such pain...What is it? Please tell me. I would give you anything."]

It is the なんでもしてあげるから here that is utterly striking. @edragoon and I debated translations and arrived on "I would give you anything" as the best option, but even with Haruki's soft language leading up to this, even with his words so focused on Akihiko's pain, the sheer love conveyed by these words is heart-wrenching—as is the art, Haruki's hand reaching out to Akihiko's face.

Akihiko has unearthed Haruki's unspoken feeling as part of his self-destructive spiral in a move that he no doubt expected to hurt Haruki, but instead, Haruki has owned up to his no longer hidden feelings and offers all of himself to Akihiko; turns the focus back onto Akihiko and his pain, rather than on himself, as Akihiko probably expected. As no doubt has happened in similar situations with Ugetsu.

And Akihiko, caught between Haruki here and the mess in his heart that is Ugetsu, expresses resentment that these words are coming from Haruki instead of Ugetsu.

"Why did you have to be the one to say that?" Akihiko laments silently, and then out loud,

[tr: "Telling you won't change anything."]

He follows this up with a small, "Sorry," and wonders to himself "Why couldn't it have been you?" (In Japanese, as in English, it is ambiguous whether he is wishing that Haruki were the one he wanted those words from, or that Ugetsu were the one saying those words. The last use of "you" in his internal monologue was directed at Haruki, supporting the first interpretation, but he is also lost in his head, so it would be no surprise if he is swaying back and forth.)

The scene breaks here, and on the next page, Haruki is curled up facing the back of the couch, fully dressed in new clothes and his hair now pulled back in a ponytail, and Akihiko is seated on the floor with his back to the couch, shirtless.

[Tr: "I'm sorry. Truly. I was completely in the wrong."]

Haruki responds, "That's not the part I want an apology for," even as he remembers those damning words, Telling you won't change anything.

[Tr: "...I said I'd give you anything. By the end it was basically consensual."]

Haruki goes on to say Akihiko is free to stay over, but he will be going to a friend's place.

Akihiko visibly panics, but only manages to call Haruki's name once as Haruki tells him he can use anything, can leave the door unlocked, but simply should be gone by morning.

Haruki leaves the apartment, and we see him cry as he walks through the darkened streets as those words Akihiko spoke again.

Left behind, Akihiko berates himself for how much he lets himself lean and depend (甘える) on Haruki, and he reflects on the events with his family and Ugetsu that lead him to where he is, without anywhere else to go. [NOTE: this is no doubt a significant factor in his later decision to move out of Haruki's apartment once as he goes through the process of bettering himself.] He contemplates the ways in which he has behaved towards Haruki, the parts of his own life he has almost instinctively hidden from his view.

Akihiko spends the night on the floor by the couch. (A shot of the clock at one point tells us it is 1:20am.)

We see morning dawn, and it is as Take is at work discussing lunch break that he gets a text from Akihiko, asking if he's seen Haruki. It is in the evening, when Take goes home, that he finds Haruki listless and hollow-eyed in front of his apartment.

The clock reads 9:40pm when Haruki comes home at last. Apart from the few hours he was with Take, Haruki has spent the better part of a night and a day alone who knows where.

[Tr: "Oh, you're still here"]

The hair that Akihiko had adored, the hair that Haruki had been growing since the day he met and fell for Akihiko, is cut short.

The Aftermath

The two of them don't shy away from the subtext of the last day—especially Haruki, who says blandly, "Sorry, but I'm tired after your rejection of my feelings, as you can see. Please go home." And when Akihiko tries to reach for him with a, "Wait, but—" his hand his slapped away by Haruki, who informs him, "Look, I'm angry at you." and cuts off Akihiko's attempted apology one syllable in with an admonishment that an apology will only make him angrier.

But Akihiko says what he should have said the night before—that he is at the end of his rope and has nowhere to go. He quietly asks to be permitted to stay in Haruki's apartment, assuring him that he will sleep on the floor, that he will not do anything again. He begs for Haruki to help him.

Haruki is furious.

「サイアク」the narration repeats: "[This/he] is the worst."

At last, Haruki agrees, but with the words, "If you weren't a band member, I'd throw you out."

The next day at band practice, Akihiko and Haruki are wildly out of sync, and while Haruki puts on a carefree smile for Uenoyama and Mafuyu, he is still spiraling with despair and humiliation.

And yet Akihiko too is on pins and needles, reacting with abject (though silent) horror when Uenoyama asks Haruki what's wrong.

But Haruki tells Uenoyama and Mafuyu nothing, and when he walks off and Akihiko goes after him, the words that come out of his mouth are all about his insecurities about his place in the band. About how he is too ordinary and does not belong in such a band of geniuses.

This is not what Akihiko was expecting his outburst to be about; this is also familiar territory for him, that he knows how to handle. Akihiko knows music.

He assures Haruki of why his music was off today, as he would have any other day. He assures Haruki that he is utterly deserving of his place in their band, as he has so many times before.

[Tr: "I've pretty much always told you that you're necessary, haven't I!?"]

And all at once, memories come rushing back to Haruki of so many times that Akihiko has told him of his value.

Haruki's anger loses its momentum and he deflates. They had back to Haruki's apartment, with Akihiko promising to cook dinner, as he is the freeloader. (Another nod to his tendency to view these arrangements as transactional.)

Living together proves a disillusionment process for Haruki. Of course, the night that Akihiko first came to his apartment was the enormous catalyst, but the disillusionment process continues.

All of those ways in which he had formerly idealized Akihiko crumble one after another for Haruki as they live together. Akihiko cooks, but he only has one flavor profile, and often makes fried rice. Akihiko spends most of his days on music, be it violin or the drums, and it is louder than Haruki is used to with his bass—it is also evidence that Akihiko is the musician he is because he puts in the work, not just inherent talent.

...And that brings us to the end of volume 4, so I think I shall stop here!

If you read all this way, thank you, and I hope this added something positive to your day!

#akihiko x haruki #akihiko kaji #Given #haruki nakayama #haruki's hair #Given meta #meta #秋春 #ギヴン #中山春樹 #梶秋彦 #Given vol 4 #This is my otp #nobody proofread this meta #I really hope there are no typos #i am brain empty only akiharu

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lin-nin · 3 years

Text

Tribulation & Tenderness - Chapter 13

Ship: Main Technoblade x Reader, some Dream x Reader Plot: You're a princess in a Kingdom suffering a years long famine. In a desperate attempt to help your people, you accept one simple offer: Marriage to the crown prince of a neighboring kingdom. Anything to help your people survive. Surely it can't be too bad, can it? Chapter List: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 Disclaimer: Cross-posted on Wattpad (discontinued) and Ao3. This is based off of everyone's CHARACTERS. I do not write fanfic based off the actual people.

Chapter 13: Until My Heart Stops Beating

< | Previous Chapter

The rest of the day prior to your wedding was spent in partial tension. You never found out what the favor Techno had called for was exactly, but you didn’t mind. Truthfully, you were increasingly more focused on your wedding. It was exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time, and you practically had to force yourself to sleep that night. You awoke far earlier than normal because of it, moving around your room anxiously.

You eventually lowered yourself into your bath, taking care to make sure you were clean. You let the steam from the water curl around you, sighing and trying your best to relax. Thinking about today caused your stomach to erupt in butterflies and a smile to spread across your face. You truly hoped today went well. Eventually you stood up, stepping out of the tub and sliding into a shift.

There was a soft knock on your door after a few moments of you just sitting, and you called whoever it was in. Eret slid into the room, offering you a smile. A bundle of white fabric sat in his arms, and a few servants followed behind him with various things. “Good morning to our bride,” He practically cooed, motioning towards a servant to the table between chairs. She followed, setting down a tray where he pointed. She hurriedly bowed, leaving the room soon after. You watched Eret settle the fabric onto your bed, the remaining servants following in setting down boxes of other stuff. He sent them off, before turning to you.

“Morning Eret,” You murmured, returning his earlier smile. He seemed content, motioning towards the tray of food.

“Go ahead and eat, we’ll start with your hair. Are you nervous?” You reached for the cup of tea, bringing it to your lips and adjusting yourself so Eret had access to your hair.

“Very. Also excited, but I imagine it’s to be expected,” You managed to explain, letting Eret run a brush through your hair. You took your time with the food, enjoying the way Eret tended to your appearance. You didn’t normally allow yourself to get pampered like this, so you wouldn’t mind doing it this once.

“I imagine so. It’ll all go fine, though. It’ll probably go by better than you expect.” He made sure your hair was laying perfectly, humming under his breath as he did.

“Hopefully it goes smoothly, I do have some concerns though,” You sighed out the words, thinking about Dream. You hoped he would behave, truly. You would be extremely upset if he didn’t.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Eret reassured. You watched him move towards the fabric on the bed, peering at the lace he picked up. The veil. Your stomach erupted into nervous butterflies at the sight of it, examining delicate lace as he brought it over. The edges were thorned vines, leaves of white lace lying beneath light blue ribbon roses. You marveled it as he brought it close, unable to help your smile.

“You really outdid yourself,” You couldn’t stop the praise from leaving your mouth, reaching out to run your fingers along it.

“Just wait until you see the full dress. Turn your head.” You did as he instructed, turning away from him so he could start setting the pins of the veil into your hair. The lace tickled your shoulders, but you did your best to keep still. He softly grasped your shoulders once he was finished, giving them a squeeze. You turned to look at him, and he smiled at you. He disappeared to the bed once more, rustling through the boxes and bringing one over. You peered into it curiously, eyeing the roses inside. They were fresh, white ones from the garden. You laughed softly, turning to face him so he could situate them in your hair.

Eret lined them up along the edge of your veil, making sure they sat perfectly in your hair. The pins would be a pain to take out later tonight, but you didn’t entirely mind it right now. “Are you finished eating?” He questioned once he finished, moving to grab another box before you replied. You nodded when he returned, watching him pull out kohl from the box.

You instinctively closed your eyes, letting him line them with the makeup without question. He softly murmured when you were good to open them. He took his time applying a stain to your cheeks and lips, stepping back to examine his work. He sighed softly, smiling at you. “You’re going to be a vision,” He murmured, making your cheeks flush.

“You think so?” You questioned, acutely aware of the fluttering of your stomach.

“I know so. Come on, let’s get you in your dress.” He motioned you to stand up, and you did so on shaking legs. The anxiety regarding your marriage was starting to leak through now, and you couldn’t hide it. Eret offered you a reassuring look, sorting through the bundles of fabric settled on your bed. He grabbed one of sections of fabric, holding it out to you. You examined it, easily identifying the petticoat and slipping it on over your shift.

Next he moved towards you, holding out another section of fabric. The actual dress. The sleeves were made of tulle, a light blue in color, flaring out away from ribbon roses at the elbows made to match the ones on your veil. The base of the dress was simple. White, with a deep scooping neckline. He helped guide it over your head, situating it around your shift. You couldn’t help but watch as he adjusted the tulle on the skirt. Ribbon Roses decorated the scalloped edges of the tulle, exposing the white skirt beneath.

The stay was next, matching the dress with the white fabric embroidered delicately with blue roses. Eret’s brows were furrowed as he meticulously tightened the ribbons on it, making sure it sat perfectly. Once he had, he stepped back to examine you with a soft sigh. You flushed a little beneath the appraising gaze. He moved around again, grabbing a simple pair of shoes and stooping to slide them onto your feet. Moving in the dress almost felt weird, despite it not being too different in make than your most formal dresses. Perhaps it felt heavy with the meaning.

“One last touch,” Eret said, moving towards the final box on the bed. You had given him the earrings Techno gave you, as well as the necklace from Dream, for him to keep a hold of until today. You knew that was what sat within the box, watching him gingerly pick up the necklace to drape it around your neck. He tilted your head, sliding in the earrings and stepping back to give you a full look over.

“Oh, you’re gonna be the envy of so many,” He praised, and you shifted almost self consciously. The fact that you were wearing this dress caused you to fidget nervously.

“It doesn’t feel real,” You murmured, shifting around to search out the mirror you had. The rustling of your skirts felt loud in your ears, eyes roving over your appearance. It felt like something from a book, something so etherally unreal.

“It is, I promise. I’ll go get your brother,” He whispered, stepping towards the door. You watched him, before turning your eyes back to your reflection. What would today hold for you? The ceremony was straight forward, but the celebration itself felt so unsure. Anything could happen.

A soft knock resounded at your door, causing you to turn once more. George pushed open the door, carefully shutting it behind him. He stared at you for several long moments, seeming at a loss for words. It was probably weird, seeing you about to be married.

“It’s so hard to believe you’re my baby sister,” He practically echoed your thoughts, walking towards you. You laughed softly, nodding along.

“I guess I’m really not a baby anymore, am I?” You questioned, watching as he placed his hands on your shoulders. You leaned ever so slightly into the touch, a smile tugging your lips.

“No. Are you sure you still want this?” He watched you closely, looking for any change in your expression.

“Of course. Techno is kind, and his family is enjoyable. I have easily found friends here, and I know I can just as easily make a happy life. I will always miss you and Dream, but we’ll all move on.” You gently grabbed one of his hands, squeezing it tightly. George smiled, seeming almost sad.

“The castle won’t ever be the same. You’ve grown up so much.” He returned the squeeze, and you could only nod. You did yearn for the ease you felt of your teenage years in the castle. The lack of responsibilities you had felt, being able to run around and goof off with Dream. However you felt more freedom now than you had there. It was a new feeling, but a welcome one.

“I’ll miss some parts of it, but I’m excited for my future here. Everyone is so kind,” You constantly reassured him, letting him move you away from the mirror.

“Eret said he was going to check on Technoblade, but he’d tell us when everything was ready. Are you ready for this?” He settled into one of the chairs, pulling you into the one beside him.

“As ready as I can be. I’m nervous. There’s a lot happening today,” You folded your hands in your lap, legs bouncing.

“I can imagine. You put a lot of work into planning this, didn’t you?” You sat up straight, having problems trying to relax. The nerves were unbearable.

“Sort of, I just had input. Eret handled a lot of the main plans. Him, Wilbur, and Nihachu deserve more credit than I do.” You could hardly take any of the responsibility. You didn’t put in much actual work, just feedback.

“Still, it’s not everyday you get married. Everything will go fine,” George reassured, giving you a smile. Truly, you didn’t know what you would do without him. Probably fall apart, you imagined. The two of you chattered softly as you waited, George attempting to keep your nerves soothed. It wasn’t too long before there was a knock at the door, Eret popping his head in.

“Everything’s ready now. Are you ready?” His voice was gentle, and you offered a soft smile.

“As ready as I can be,” You sighed, standing up. George followed, lingering right beside you.

“You know where to go, right? I’ll go ahead and wait there, give the two of you a few more moments,” Eret spoke softly, as if anything louder would break the calmness. You appreciated it, whispering your thanks as he left. George turned to you, taking your hands in his.

“The wedding will go wonderfully, I know it. Mom and Dad send their best wishes. It’s hard to believe my baby sister is all grown up and getting married now.” The way he spoke and squeezed your hands had tears springing to your eyes. They threatened to spill as he pulled you in for a hug, kissing your forehead. You carefully laid your head against his shoulder, clinging to him.

“I’m really going to miss our garden walks,” you whispered, and he nodded.

“I will too. Don’t keep them waiting, though. I don’t want your husband to come looking for you.” George finally pulled away from you, leading you towards the door to your room. You followed, taking a deep breath. Silence lapsed between the pair of you as you wandered down the hallway and stairs. You were led through the courtyard, towards the garden. Nerves pooled in your stomach, and you hoped it didn’t show.

George gripped your hand in reassurance, walking with you down the path. Eyes were on you, and you were very aware of it. Among those eyes, though, were Techno’s. At the other end of the aisle. Hands folded in front of him, a pale cape fastened around his shoulders. A blue sash was tied around his waist, similar in color to the blue accents on your dress. The emerald rose brooch sat against the stark white of his shirt, clearly visible from the other end. The black prongs of his crown stood tall, a heavy contrast to the pink locks fanned around it. His braid was ornamented with gold chains, jewels interspersed within the chains.

In short, he was definitely a regal sight standing there. You were reluctant to let go of George’s hand in exchange for Techno’s, yet did all the same. You briefly watched your brother move away, taking a spot beside Dream. You watched your friend for a few moments, shifting beneath his gaze. His gaze was dark, and he offered you a smile. You supposed it was meant to be encouraging, but it never quite reached his eyes. You didn’t care to think too much on it, attention focusing back in on Techno.

He was staring down at you, a soft look in his brown eyes. That helped quell the nerves in your chest, and you offered him a smile as soft as the look he gave you. A moment of peace, almost to yourselves, as the Officiant was droning on beside the two of you.

“...to unite two separate souls into that of one. This braid of ribbon will signify their unity and bind them together, from now until eternity.” The man lifted a thick braid of ribbon, made of three colors: red, white, and black. Small vines of flowers were interwoven with it, and it was certainly pretty. Techno kept one hand with yours, the other taking one end of the ribbon braid from the wrinkled hand holding it out to him.

“Do you swear, on all that you hold dear, that you will protect this woman with your entire being? That you will give her everything you have, in wealth and love?” He rattled as Techno began gingerly weaving the braid around your joined hands. It caused butterflies to stir in your stomach, just watching it. His eyebrows were even knitted together in concentration, the very tip of his tongue peaking out of his mouth.

“I swear on it all, that I will care for her until I draw my last breath.” There was a warmth to his voice that had your cheeks flushing, a smile tugging the corners of your lips up further. You carefully took the braid from him when prompted, weaving it around your hands as well.

“Do you swear, to all you hold close, that you will support this man with your entirety? That through everything, injury and health, sickness and wealth, you will stay by his side?” You finished weaving the braid as he spoke, the two ends hanging loose beneath your hands.

“I swear it. I’ll be by his side until my heart stops beating.” Your voice rang clear, and the officiant seemed content with it.

“Then I will tie the loose ends of this braid. This represents the joining of your two wayward souls joining together to be one. In the presence of the sky and the earth, the trials of water and fire, you will forever be one. Even beyond mortality, you will always be with one another, through this life and the next.” As he spoke, he very carefully grasped the ends of the braid. They were tied together, locking their hands in a grasp. You couldn’t help the grin that split your face at that, turning to look up at Techno.

He offered you a soft smile, taking a step closer to you and carefully gripping your chin with his thumb and forefinger. Your stomach practically exploded into nervous butterflies. The kiss. You had forgotten the kiss. He leaned down, lips pressing to yours firmly. It was just a kiss of obligation, a part of the ceremony, but it had heat crawling over your cheeks and down your neck. He lingered, fingers gently squeezing yours. You couldn’t help but respond to the squeeze, stepping a little closer to him.

He was pulling back after a few heartbeats, smiling at you once more and turning towards the people. You couldn’t help the squeak that escaped you as he held up your bound hands, causing a few of them to cheer. Part of you wanted to hide, but you simply stuck as close to Techno’s side as you could.

“Let’s party!!” Tommy’s voice rang out from the crowd. He was clearly exhausted with all the ceremonial things, though you weren’t entirely sure you blamed him. Weddings weren’t too exciting, though your nerves would beg to differ. You felt like a frazzled mess on the inside, and you still had an entire day to go.

You and Techno stood back, watching the crowd filter towards the ball room. You glanced to the ribbon binding your hands, acutely aware of the feeling of Techno's fingers slotted between yours. You supposed that you were giving the boys time to set up for the first dance. You just accepted the silence, practically leaning against your husband.

"After the dance we'll be able to take the ribbon off. You won’t be tied to me all day." Amusement laced his voice, and you couldn’t help but laugh a little.

"It's not all bad. A little inconvenient, but all in all it's fine." You looked up to him with a smile, which he returned. Your free hand moved, toying with the ends of the ribbon. The pair of you only stood there for a little longer before you heard Tommy shouting for the pair of you to hurry up. You couldn’t help but laugh. Did he ever stop having energy? You followed Techno along the path winding through the garden, the soft chatter from the ballroom floating over the veranda.

"You did it, Big Man! You're a married man!" Tommy cheered when the pair of you walked in, slinging an arm around both of your shoulders. "Now that this is my sister-in-law," the way he said it, reeling you close to him with a shit eating grin told you this was going to be entertaining, "I can fight her now, right?"

A loud laugh bubbled past your lips at the antics, watching Techno huff and swat at his brother with his free hand. "We'll see." This seemed to be enough to placate Tommy for the time being, sending him scurrying off towards where Tubbo and Wilbur were messing with the instruments in the corner. You watched the blond pester his brother and best friend, a fond smile on your face. He was quite excitable about this all, but it's not like the pair of you had been complete strangers over the past few weeks.

Besides your common training with Techno, you would often spend time sneaking about the castle with Tommy and Tubbo, quietly helping them with all sorts of trouble that they got into. Not to mention the time you spent in the libraries by yourself, or the gardens with Eret. While in the library there were times Wilbur or Philza would visit you. You never minded it, though. Their silent companionship was warm and comfortable. Yet Techno always seemed to hesitate when it came to letting you train with his family. Surely they couldn’t be worse than him- or better, you supposed.

“Spare a coin for your thoughts?” Techno pulled you from your musings of his family, your gaze moving to him instead. You only spared a glance to the others before fully focusing on Techno.

“Just thinking about your family. How you’ve never let me really train with them. Only letting them watch. Is there a certain reason?” Your voice was soft, not willing anyone to hear your words. He paused any movement, seeming to clearly think over the answer. Or perhaps how to best frame it. You weren’t sure why he was thinking so hard, but you could practically see the wheels turning as he did.

“Tommy is reckless. Tubbo is… alright with fighting, a bit clumsy but enthusiastic. Philza is a much higher combat level than I would want you to fight just yet. As for Wilbur…” He trailed off, practically staring off behind your head. You turned, following his gaze to his older brother. The brown-haired prince was toying with the instrument, muttering to Tubbo before looking at Techno with a grin. He gave a thumbs up, and you could see Techno incline his head in a subtle nod before turning to you. “Well, Wilbur is encouraging us to dance.”

If you squinted, you swore you could see the faintest trace of pink on Techno’s cheeks. However you didn’t care to squint too hard, simply positioning the pair of you to dance. He squeezed your still joined hands, other hand hovering momentarily over the middle of your back before settling. Almost as if he had been unsure of the action. Once the two of you had settled comfortably into the position, the soft strings of Wilbur’s instrument filled the room, paired with the gentle notes from Tubbo at the piano. You were half focused on the music, partially focused on your husband. He pulled you along the floor effortlessly, spinning you with a practiced elegance you should have been expecting.

“Why not Wilbur?” You prodded again, only when you had fallen in line with the music as well as Techno. A soft sigh passed his lips as he gazed at you, eyes darting around to the people who were watching you.

“It’s complicated. Best we don’t go into it now.” His tone left no room for argument, a voice he rarely used with you- only when the pair of you trained. You responded with your own sigh, a little disappointed. You supposed you understood, but that didn’t make you any less curious. What was it that made Techno not want you to train with Wilbur?

“Later, then.” You were a little reluctant to agree. You trusted him to tell you whatever it was later. You would be rather upset if he didn’t. The two of you lapsed into silence as you danced. You were so acutely aware of many things. The gazes on you. The pressure of the ribbon braid on your hand. The feel of Techno’s hand on your back. The way you caught Dream’s dark gaze whenever he was in your line of sight. It was a lot, and truly you weren’t sure what to make out of it all.

It felt almost as soon as the dance and music had started, it was ending. Applause poured around you and you fidgeted. You were used to attention, but the attention you were receiving at your wedding was not something you could have ever prepared yourself for. Techno pulled away from you some, almost awkwardly, before reaching for the ribbon. “Why don’t we get this off and you can go dance with your brother. He looks restless.” You turned to look at George, who did in fact appear to be restless. He was shifting, eyes on the pair of you. You offered up a smile, holding up a finger to tell him you would be a moment.

The ribbon peeled from your hands after a few moments. Techno gingerly folded it, tucking it into his pocket. You smiled at him as well, rubbing your hand from where the ribbon had pressed into it. “Go, I’ll play a song. Since I’m required to.” He didn’t necessarily sound happy and you could only laugh.

“Alright. I’ll see you when I get a break. I know everyone is going to want to dance.” You slipped away from Techno to instead make way to George, grinning at him.

“Don’t look so nervous,” You teased, nudging him. He gave a shaking laugh.

“I can’t help it. There’s something almost tense about this whole thing. It feels so formal.” You understood what he meant. You knew marriages in Kinoko were different to this. They were more casual, even for royal families.

“It is strange. Almost overwhelming, isn’t it?” George had nodded in response. “Well then, Crown Prince Nofton,” you began to tease, a lopsided grin on your face. A reminder that you still were, in a way, his little sister he grew up with. “Are you going to keep me waiting?” You held out a hand, arching an eyebrow at him.

“My apologies, Crown Princess Minraelas. Would you honor me, your dearest brother, with a dance on your wedding day?” He bowed dramatically, grin matching your own. His tone was lofty, poking subtle fun at the way the courts of larger countries held themselves. You simply giggled as he took your hand, gently holding it and your shoulder with his other. “It even seems your husband will be playing a song for us.” He was struggling to contain his laughter, and you were barely managing.

The low sound of a violin drifted into the room, causing your head to turn to look at Techno. His eyes were closed as he ran the bow along the strings of the instrument, fingers moving against frets with clear familiarity. For all the resistance he had put up to playing the song, he seemed at peace with it now. You smiled, attention turning back to your brother as he pulled you into the throng of dancing people. "So it would seem," you concluded, letting the pair of you spin gently together as violin notes filled the air.

"You'll still write, won't you?" George had asked again, and you simply laughed softly.

"Always. I promise I'll tell you if I'm ever put into danger." You offered him a reassuring smile and he simply nodded. He seemed content enough, and you knew he had to be. He really was watching you grow up, wasn't he?

"If you don't write, I'm sending our entire army to rescue you." His lips quirked, a breathless laugh escaping him. You couldn't help but laugh as well.

"What makes you think I couldn't hold my own? I'm learning to fight now!" You declared, puffing your chest out just slightly. This elicited another laugh from your brother.

"No offense, but Technoblade handed you your ass. I think you might need the help of an army." You pouted at this, nose wrinkling just a little.

"Well, I doubt it'll ever come to the point of me having to truly fight." You waved it off, shooting him a smile. “I’m well taken care of here. They like me.” You twisted, looking over to where Tubbo was speaking to Tommy. The brunet caught your gaze, brightening and offering you a cheerful wave. You lifted your hand briefly from George’s, returning the wave. Your attention returned to your brother, who simply smiled gently.

“I can tell. I just worry about you being where I can’t see you.” His voice was gentle, hand once more grasping your own. Your gaze softened slightly, head shaking just a little.

“I’m not a little girl anymore, Gogy. I swear to you, I’ll be fine. Happy. Free.” The childhood nickname had rolled off of your tongue with familiarity. A sign of how genuine you were. No formalities. Just two siblings.

He had sighed in response, hugging you tight for a moment. “I know. It’s hard to not see you as one.” You could reluctantly accept that, returning the hug. “I suppose I can’t keep your company for myself. Go, dance with Dream. He probably wants to.”

The words brought your attention to the blond, catching his eye and smiling a little. His gaze seemed conflicted- caught somewhere between soft and affectionate, and hard and frustrated. You tried your best to ignore it, waving him over slightly. He seemed to hesitate, before running his hands down the front of the green tunic he wore and heading your way.

“Princess,” he greeted gently once he was close. Your eyes shone with light-hearted fondness, taking his proffered hand. He tugged you closer to him, one hand curled with yours while the fingers of the other dug slightly into your waist. You shrugged the grip off a little, free hand settling onto his shoulder, fingers fingers brushing the white fur of the cape that sat there.

“For now,” You teased, beaming up at him. Mischief was clear in your grin, letting him whisk you away along the dance floor. His eye flickered with something- too quick for you to notice. Then it was looking over your head, seemingly focusing on someone else. You almost turned to look, but he was soon focused on you. He moved way too fast for you to keep up. It was exhausting, yet you weren't sure you wanted to bother with it right now. Not today.

His fingers grasped your waist tighter. "You're really set on this, aren't you? Are you even sure you truly want to become queen to him? To this nation?" Disgust and irritation laced his words. Hell, he even sounded accusatory. You frowned up at him, squaring your shoulders.

"I've told you this before. I'm going through with this. I'm fine. You and George worry too much. Praelicentiam has treated me well," you reassured. Your fingers smoothed the fur of his cloak, praying it was enough.

He still looked disgruntled, lips tugging into a small scowl. "You know if things go wrong-" he started, but you shook his head to cut him off.

"I can return to Kinoko. I know. You and George have told me this more times than I can count." Your eyes fluttered shut in an attempt to calm yourself. His grip relaxed in the process, tugging you even closer.

"I just worry for you here. You've heard the rumors. I feel like you'd be safer in Kinoko." Where he could watch you. It was left unsaid, but definitely implied. He leaned down, pressing a feather light and affectionate kiss to your forehead. Heat rushed to your cheeks as you made to move away, saved by the clearing of a throat.

"Surely you wouldn't mind if I stole our bride for a dance?" A firm hand sat on your arm, drawing your attention to the blond man who had interrupted. Philza stood there, a kind yet unnerving smile directed to your childhood friend.

Dream narrowed his eye for a moment before he relented, handing you over to the man. "Of course not. I'll talk to you later, princess." The distaste in his voice was palpable, but you were able to ignore it.

"You were starting to look like a deer caught in the middle of a path," Philza pulled your attention to him as he moved with you to the music. You couldn’t help but laugh nervously.

"Dream can be a lot sometimes." Philza had simply inclined his head in acknowledgement as you spoke. Dream always had a way to be intense, and you never deciphered if it was good. It had been that way for the past year. You were hardly given time to dwell on your best friend, though. Instead you were being handed over to Tommy, who seemed far from thrilled. Just behind him you could see Wilbur, throwing him a very pointed look.

He didn't seem to linger with his dance, grumbling the whole time about how he hated these formal events. Much like the child he was. You would only laugh, knocking his ankles with your feet.

Then you were off to Tubbo, who's eyes were just as bright as his grin. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were enjoying my wedding more than I am." It was a lighthearted tease but he couldn't help but sheepishly laugh.

"For now I am, yeah," he acknowledged. You followed his gaze over your shoulder, where Schlatt stood holding a cup of wine. You supposed he wasn't looking forward to dealing with his father. You didn't blame him. Beside Schlatt stood Dream, his eye focused solely on you. The pair seemed quiet, thankfully. The idea of Schlatt talking too much with Dream made your stomach churn. You didn't doubt that Schlatt would be able to make Dream do something stupid- the older man was no doubt irritating.

The music faded to a new song, joined with a new dance partner. Your feet were aching, begging for a chance to sit down. Yet you supposed it was obligatory to dance with people. At least your new family seemed to believe so. Which is why Wilbur was now gliding you across the dance floor. He held himself with a poise very akin to Techno’s, a practiced poise and grace to his movements.

As if the way he held himself as he danced wasn't reminder enough, he couldn't help but joke, "If things had gone differently perhaps I would have been the one to promise you my last breath." He laughed, shooting you an amused smile. You echoed his laugh, briefly pondering how different Praelicentiam may have been.

"We'll never know, shall we? I think I prefer you my brother, anyways." He nodded in agreement, one hand softly patting your hair. It was exhausting, being on your feet this long. You needed to eat.

Eret seemed to realize this as they stepped up to you, holding a hand out. "One dance with me and I'll get you back to Technoblade. You've been dancing awhile." You let your shoulders sag a little.

"Just one dance, then. I'm exhausted." A whine edged into your voice. They laughed and nodded, seeming satisfied once you placed a hand into their's. Their movements were a comfort, in a way. You felt endlessly comfortable with them.

"Do you miss Kinoko?" They questioned after a few moments, making your steps stutter. It wasn't a question you expected from them.

You regained yourself, offering a soft smile. "Of course. It's my home, there's people I love there. It'll always be my home and I'll always yearn for it. The path laid ahead of me led me here, though. This is my home just as much." You loved Kinoko endlessly. Yet you were growing to love Praelicentiam. This was going to be your kingdom one day. You needed to learn to love it and it's people.

Eret seemed to think on your answer, sighing softly. "So long as you find happiness."

"I'll be happy here," you were quick to defend, offering a smile. They relented, and pulled back as the song came to an end.

"Fine, fine. Let's get you off of your feet." You were more than happy to follow Eret as they led you through the mix of people. As if it was even hard to spot Techno, where he stood talking quietly to a short man. You barely got a look at him before you were noticed. The man looked at you from behind glasses before smiling, seeming to disappear into the crowd before you got close. You frowned, lifting an eyebrow at Techno.

"Finally had enough socialization?" His voice called to you once within range. Eret squeezed your shoulder, muttering about how they needed to attend to other matters and disappearing.

"More than enough. Who was that?" You tried to locate the man in the crowd, but he was nowhere you could see. Weird.

“Someone running a favor for me.” It was a bland answer but you supposed there wasn’t much to expect. You simply relaxed into his hand as it settled between your shoulder blades, steering you towards seating. It took everything in your power to not sink into the chair as it was pulled out for you. You had a feeling that now that you were seated, you’d be there for a long while.

Techno settled into the seat beside you, his eyes raking over everyone else. Watching as if he expected something. You followed the gaze, trying to view things as he did. Yet you couldn’t. All you saw was people partying, enjoying their time there. Eret was conversing with George, your older brother struggling to stifle laughter. Wilbur was talking to Nihachu and two people you couldn’t recognize. One was a woman, tall with a mop of curls like you had never seen. The way her fingers curled with Nihachu’s gave you enough clue on who she was. The other was a man, currently laughing over something you wished you could hear. He seemed to be laughing hard, struggling to keep ginger and white locks of hair out of his face.

You sought out the younger two, knowing they would be joined at the hip. It wasn’t too hard. They stood with another- a boy? He looked young in the face, from what you could see given the slightly anxious expression he wore. Light patches of skin quite a few shades lighter littered him, dual colored eyes focusing on Tommy. His hair was like an extreme version of the man who was with Wilbur- yet instead of ginger there was black. As well as several patches of white as opposed to a single tuft. He was certainly a sight to behold and you swore you had never seen him before. You would have remembered him.

You pushed it aside, for now. You sought out the few other people you knew still. Dream was in a corner, arms crossed over his chest as he talked to a guard. You could tell it was a Kinoko guard, but couldn’t tell who. You tried to look harder to figure it out- you grew up with much of the guard- but it was pointless. His back was to you. It would be more worth it to continue your conversation with Technoblade. “You seem to have a lot of people doing favors for you.”

He huffed in laughter beside you, turning his attention from the people. Instead he watched you, amusement bright in brown eyes.”I’m the crown prince. Of course I have a lot of favors being done.”

“What type of favors?” You questioned, kicking your feet just slightly. You wanted to know. As much time as you spent training with Techno, you didn’t know what he did beyond that. He was still as much of a mystery to you as when he walked into Kinoko.

He shook his head, eyes flicking towards the people again. “Things I would prefer you to stay out of unless necessary. Instead of thinking about that, think about food.” You opened your mouth to complain but he was already waving a servant over, mentioning food to them. The boy nodded, turning to go fetch the food.

You let yourself focus on the food. You’d already tried pushing Techno on one subject today and had to leave it alone, you weren’t going to try a second one. It’s not that you weren’t hungry, either. Everything that had happened today had made you hungry. At least the food was good. You were still having to adjust to the amount of food too. Kinoko hadn’t been able to eat like this in quite some time. You wondered if George and Dream felt similarly to the food- though you were sure that Praelicentiam had since begun to send food over.

It was only when you had finished you truly began to wind down. So did much of the celebration. People left the room with stomachs full of wine and good food. You’d have to thank Nihachu for it. In the morning, though. She had already left with her girlfriend. You were eager to join the crowds of people leaving. You were ready to go to sleep.

Which was a problem.

You had been taught for so much of your life what was expected of you on your wedding night. Your mom had made sure of that, unwilling to see her daughter get hurt in ignorance. Yet, it still had a weight settling in your stomach. A rock lodged in your throat. Why was it now that you felt the fear Dream was so insistent you felt? Was it because you didn’t know what to expect from Techno?

You couldn’t help but glance at him, fingers toying with your dress. You honestly hoped it was nothing like training. It made you wince, which pulled his attention to you instead. “Are you tired?” His voice was low. You hesitated, glancing towards the few people who still lingered. George and Dream had both left, as well as Tommy, Tubbo, and their tall friend. So few people were here now. You gave in and nodded. There was no point in sticking around. Techno stood up then, holding a hand out for you to take.

It was natural for you to let him lead you through the castle, despite you already knowing it pretty well. He seemed to want to make sure you got wherever you were going safely. The silence was crushing and tense. You almost felt like you were drowning in it. Could he hear the way your heart thrummed against your rib cage, or how your blood was roaring in your ears.

Yet he passed his chambers entirely, heading towards yours instead. It threw you off. Weren’t you supposed to consummate the marriage? Your confusion must have been evident, because he spoke softly, “You seem exhausted. Get some sleep.” A hand settled on your shoulder, squeezing softly. Then he leaned around you to open the door, leaving you to your thoughts and wondering why he had taken you to your room instead of his.

#mcyt x reader #mcyt #dream smp #dream smp x reader #reader insert #dsmp #dsmp x reader #dream team #technoblade #technoblade x reader #dream x reader #dreamwastaken #kingdom au #sleepy bois inc #sleepy bois family #t&t

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