James Baldwin, from Giovanni’s Room

James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room

giovanni’s room by james baldwin // interview with the vampire (2022)

(credit to iwtvnocontext on twitter for the screenshots of the balcony scene)

“Love him,” said Jacques, with vehemence, “love him and let him love you. Do you think anything else under heaven really matters? And how long, at the best, can it last, since you are both men and still have everywhere to go? Only five minutes, I assure you, only five minutes, and most of that, hélas! in the dark. And if you think of them as dirty, then they will be dirty—they will be dirty because you will be giving nothing, you will be despising your flesh and his. But you can make your time together anything but dirty; you can give each other something which will make both of you better—forever—if you will not be ashamed, if you will only not play it safe.” (…) “Somebody,” said Jacques, “your father or mine, should have told us that not many people have ever died of love. But multitudes have perished, and are perishing every hour—and in the oddest places!—for the lack of it.”

- Giovanni’s Room, James Baldwin

‘I would posit that masculinity is solely enforced on men and introduced to them through implicit or explicit violence. I cannot think of a time where my masculine tendencies and behaviors were not influenced by the fear of violence that may come if I fail to perform.

‘One of my earliest memories as a child is crying because my older sister painted my nails, and I was afraid that my parents would be angry at me for doing something that was for “girls”.

‘The performance of masculinity was at best based on entirely arbitrary, almost ridiculous metrics such as what side your shirt buttons up on, which way you wear your belt, how you check your nails, to more violent and restrictive regulations. Who you can love, how you can dress, the way you speak, how physically strong or imposing you are.

‘Gender is a performance, and the audience pointing a gun at the stage is the only reason we're all still dancing. The constricting nature of masculinity, of cisgender heterosexuality, drives all of us insane. Drives all of us to self denial that presents itself in other ways or bursts through cracks like blood through gauze.’

— Anansi’s Library, James Baldwin and the Annihilation of Gender, from 25:13

— James Baldwin from Giovanni’s Room (1956)

Loved visiting Giovanni’s Room in Philadelphia this week! It was a cozy, queer place and I loved it.

And my mind was empty—or it was as though my mind had become one enormous, anaesthetized wound. I thought only, One day I’ll weep for this. One of these days I’ll start to cry.

— James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room

This book continues to ruin me to this day. I haven’t found a writer like James Baldwin since.

about devotion

If you cannot love me, I will die. Before you came I wanted to die, I have told you many times. It is cruel to have made me want to live only to make my death more bloody. 

- James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room

Our Fathers. 
how do we forgive our fathers? by dick lourie // vanishing acts by jodi picoult // interior study of father and daughter by pierre laprade // snow and dirty rain by richard siken // eighth grade dir. bo burnham // giovanni’s room by james baldwin // fleabag: 2.06

giovanni’s room page 49 & 137 😐

on hometowns and on leaving hometowns

Fredrick Backman, The Deal of a Lifetime | Peter Gabriel, “Growing Up” | Taylor Swift, “You’re On Your Own, Kid” | Conan Gray, “Idle Town” | Maggie Stievater, The Dream Thieves | Julie Buntin, Marlena | John Darnielle for Pitchfork | James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room | Savannah Brown, “a poem for ohio”

from Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin