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andillwriteyouatragedy · 6 months

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i want that man pregnant on my desk by noon

#there's a promotion in it for you #if you work hard #personal ramblings #how do i even tag this #genius thoughts #galaxy brain jokes #pregnancy humor #male pregnancy #the good kind #pregnancy #pregnancy tw #tw pregnancy #cw pregnancy #pregnancy cw #pregnancy jokes #what am i doing.#i tag things like an old man #bringing that back. deservedly #sorry i'll stop now

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minilpark · 2 years

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i have a rooster concept:

he has a secret love for dolly parton. him mom would play her music constantly. one morning he wakes up before u and puts on her records that you own. when u go downstairs he’s in his underwear belting out “dumb blonde” doesn’t even bat and eye at you. he just gives you a “hey babe” and a kiss then goes back to his performance

i aBSOLUTELY LOVE the thought of rooster being a dolly fan i think he'd sound so pretty singing her songs! but yes he's totally in underwear and socks on a saturday morning just singin his heart away :"))

#genius thoughts #top gun maverick #topgun #topgun maverick imagines #bradley rooster bradshaw #topgun asks #topgun maverick asks #ask answered

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orchids-on-acid · 11 months

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kurt cobain was really onto something when he varnished a painting with his cum

#it’d probably smell kinda rank though tbh #genius thoughts

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boof-snoof · 2 months

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"Pound of Flesh" would be a great title for a horror-themed porn movie. Or a porn-themed horror movie

#genius thoughts

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hansoeii · 8 months

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stede bunnet

#no thoughts just ed and his emotional support bunny #i felt like a genius coming up with stede bunnet this better make you laugh #because im still giggling over it #praying that his name is anything close to this because i need it #fun fact my bunny who sadly passed away in 2020 looked exactly like the one ed adopts and it made me cry a bit seeing that scene #her name was soe and I changed my username for her #she was the most prcious baby she got me through all the hardships #so I believe stede bunnet can do that for ed too #ofmd #ofmd 2 #our flag means death #our flag means death 2 #ofmd fanart #edward teach #taika waititi #blackbeard #ofmd 2 fanart #my art #digital art

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hamletthedane · 10 months

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Still laughing at Brian May offhandedly writing the greatest understatement in the history of academia in his astrophysics doctoral dissertation:

Ah, yes - “various pressures.” Like being one of the greatest guitarists ever and playing/writing/singing for the most legendary rock band of all time.

Those various pressures.

#queen #Brian May #just a rock and roll god and also an astrophysicist #it’s like Deacon casually inventing the technology for all modern bass stereos bc he was an electrical engineer #a side gig of being a genius #along with their friends ‘learned opera at 5yo and literally SAW music’ and ‘chaos tornado with a promising career in dentistry’#Music #shut up e #these are twitter thoughts but twitter is dead so now I subject you all to them

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reineydraws · 1 month

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three is a pattern, shanks!

#i made a joke abt this in a fic i posted recently then thought it'd be funny to make art for it lol #shanks #akagami no shanks #red haired shanks #one piece #one piece fanart #op fanart #buggy the clown #uta #one piece uta #monkey d luffy #buggy the genius jester #kid luffy #if shanks had a nickel for every time a kid accidentally ate a devil fruit around him #he'd have three nickels #which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened three times.

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swordy-da-goat · 4 months

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Masterpost

#mimics #myart #short idea i thought was genius

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eggsploded · 4 months

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heiress eternal

#so many thoughts about her #the handmaid #the handmaid homestuck #homestuck ancestors #damara megido #homestuck #egg art #according to hussies book aradia was in contact with the handmaid to receive game instructions #which is interesting considering megidos can speak to the dead and the handmaid is one of the few ancestors alive #so either handmaid channeled a dead aradia or future aradia channeled a dead handmaid #handmaid could of also just manipulated the timeline to make sure aradia was the catalyst for the game being played #or something less more or equally complicated #and without this we just have to assume its maid powers allowing aradia to have flawless instruction of what to do or shes just a #level 3000 gigabrain girl genius at 13 years old #and instead of putting that interaction in the story we got. the dancestor flashes #so im a little miffed about it really

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wotchernewt · 27 days

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seriously though nothing can stop me from interpreting Real Life as canon just for how it progresses the canary curse situation. i'm obsessed with it. the curse gets broken in secret life and then in the very next "series", as much of a joke as it is, you get a situation like THAT. jimmy enters a mineshaft and everyone but him dies. not just his team, though obviously it's more significant because they were all red, but ren/martyn/skizz all get a mineshaft-death apiece. that canary's not doing his job anymore. he escaped his cage and made a break for the surface and everyone else is paying the price for it, and i for one could not be more proud of that little bird.

#that's not to say however that real life is on the same level of seriousity as all the other life games #the watchers grabbed all these players from the aftermath of the wildest party anyone's ever seen #the only ones not hungover were the ones drinking until dawn (now sleep deprived and plastered)#no one's going to have more than the vaguest memories of what the hell happened there #none of them sure if that was an actual Game or if some genius thought it would be a great idea to play-act one. while drunk.#the watchers know though. the watchers think it was funny.#wotcher talk #solidaritygaming #life series #life series smp #life smp #trafficblr #life series spoilers #real life #real life smp #rlsmp

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high-queen-of-the-court · 3 months

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deadsetobsessions · 4 months

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Okay, so maybe Tim has no business being in Bludhaven. Tim maintains that since his parents fail at parenting, he can do whatever he wants.

Besides, it's for a good cause. Like, not letting Tarantula get her dirty hands on his big brother in another time line. Tarantula had popped up in the Bludhaven servers - by that, Tim means the endless amounts of threads and underground fronts for criminal activity that he stalks on a regular basis- by being seen with Nightwing. Tim had immediately booked a ride to Bludhaven and bought another burner. He'd try to take care of her himself, but if worse comes to worse, he'd call Deathstroke. He's totally aware of the weird tension Deathstroke has with Nightwing and Tim's kind of banking on that.

Dick's been back in Blud for two months now, Jason having assuaged his mother hen tendencies enough for Dick to get sick of the Manor. Tim hadn't meant to follow since he had plenty of projects to work on now that "SAVE JASON" wasn't blaring at the top of his head.

But then Tarantula appeared and Tim saw red, remembering the way Dick spoke about her and what she did to him.

He bids the driver goodbye. The driver doesn't question his being on his lonesome mainly because 1) Gothamites mind their own busines, 2) Tim gave him a $500 tip to make sure he remains a "good" Gothamite cabbie, and 3) Tim made sure he was dropped off in the swankiest, most ostentatious hotel Bludhaven had to offer.

"Rich people," the cab driver had muttered as Tim closed the door. Perfect.

Tim got his keycard, having checked in under Alvin Draper over the phone. Normally, they'd require an in person visit, but money talks. And people listened when Tim had a lot of things to say.

Tim even feels like he's trained enough to go out! Lady Shiva's training was ingrained into his memory, and Tim's built enough muscle to make use of some of it. He is still nine, after all. He's so much stealthier this time around. Plus, he's got almost his full tool set back. Sure, some of the tech is ancient, but he managed to finagle it to make grappling guns and smoke pellets more along the quality that he's used to.

Tim waits until nightfall, looping the surveillance around his window to mask his exit. Tim adjusts his domino, eyes scanning the city skyline as his handheld computer (god, he can't believe he has to invent wrist computers) tracked reports of Nightwing through Tweetings.

Ah. He's around Seventh. Tim grimaces as his untested joints adjusts to the grappling guns. His dark clothes make him hard to spot, to his advantage as he tracks down Nightwing.

Tim watches, perched on an adjacent roof as Nightwing takes down a crowd of goons with the flips Tim remembered watching from afar and up close in another timeline.

"Blockbuster'll kill everyone you love, Nightwing!"

Tim winces at the rather brutal crunch that followed, Nightwing having punched the guy and knocked him out in one move. He watches Dick sigh, tugging at his hair in stress.

Tim could... no, no. He shouldn't think of murder as a first option. Well, no, he shouldn't think of Deathstroke as a first option. But he'll need to take Blockbuster out before anything happens. And he needs to threaten the new Tarantula before anything happens. He won't allow her to even get close to Dick.

Maybe it's unfair to punish her for a crime she hasn't done, but unlike murder, rape can never be defended. Catalina Flores is a dead woman walking.

Tim stalks his big brother back home and then broke off to begin his short reign of terror over Bludhaven's underground. If he can't get Dick to take a break (and Tim's tried, a lot, over the years) then he'll make sure that the next month is as gentle as possible on his older brother.

Step 1. Murder Take care of Blockbuster

Step 2. Threaten Catalina Flores and her brother.

No. Wait. Tim has a better idea. He's got dirt on them, on top of the murder thing. He'll fabricate Catalina's tax returns, embezzle a shit ton of money from the IRS, and get her and her corrupt brother (because getting your sister out from murder charges is considered corrupt) arrested and locked away. And he'll make sure they stay locked away with some good old blackmail on Amanda Waller.

Tim grins, tranquilizing the building with an ungodly amount of knock out gas pellets, to riffle through the police precinct's files.

Step 2. Threaten Catalina Flores and her brother.

Step 2. Cripple Catalina Flores and her brother with blackmail and the IRS.

In three hours, Tim has everything he needs to begin a temporary hostile takeover. He's got the names of local mob bosses, the big players, and the names of practically every police officer that takes bribes and their... sponsors.

He'll have to cut off Blockbuster's lines of supplies first. Then, blacklist him from local suppliers, mobilize the police precinct against him (by imitating his M.O. perfectly- Tim's not a fucking amateur- and pretending to rob the precinct blind), and then break his knees.

Step 3. Profit

Tim takes out his shiny new burner phone, enjoying the loud sounds of the police squawking through his planted bugs. He lounges on the building next to it, keeping an eye out for Nightwing just in case the man decides to respond to the crisis.

[Unknown: It's RR.]

[Deathstroke: New phone?]

[RR: Who dis?]

[Deathstroke: What?]

[RR: Nevermind. I'll give you forty thousand to shoot someone's knees out.]

[Deathstroke:... That's it? Who?]

[RR: Blockbuster. Bludhaven. Extra twenty thousand if you tell him he's got the spine of a sea slug, kick him in the balls, and post it on Tweeting.]

[Deathstroke: What did he do to you? Deal.]

Tim ignored Deathstroke's question.

[RR: Half sent. Confirm?]

[Deathstroke: Confirmed. Timeline?]

[RR: Three weeks. 21 days.]

[Deathstroke: Confirmed.]

----

Tim grins ferally, all teeth as Catalina Flores looked on in horror at her computer screen.

"Get out of Bludhaven, and don't come back. If you even think of going near Nightwing, I will rip what's left of your pathetic, sniveling swine of a brother apart. You will not enjoy the consequences."

Tim clicks off, watching Catalina and her brother launch themselves into mad packing. He tapped out a short message to Amanda Waller for her and her team to intercept them at the state lines. They'll never get away from Tim's fury. Never.

[Waller: It's done.]

[Waller: I will find you.]

[RR: You can definitely try, Waller. Good doing business with you.]

Tim can see the blood vessel the woman popped after he sent that last message. He laughs.

He saves Deathstroke's video from Tweeting onto his actual, spoofed phone. He destroys the burner phone, less shiny now that he's dragged it through two and a half weeks of breaking heads and terrorizing the Bludhaven Underground. Nightwing hadn't even gotten a whiff of his activities, this Dick being far less experienced and known in this version of Blud.

One more week and Tim can continue his other projects.

----

Nightwing, going about his vigilante business: wow it sure is peaceful

Feral Tim Drake, Nightwing's scary dog privilege: try me, bitch

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etchif · 1 year

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#compilation of very good pictures #i didnt make these btw i feel like ishould add this i found them and thought some of my mutuals on here would enjoy them.#these are not products of my genius mind unfortunately #birds

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aesthetic-bbyg · 7 months

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SWEETNESS ~ BUGGY

LA!buggy x straw hat!reader

Based off of this post bc it made me giggle PT 2

Nattie speaks: y’all this mf clown has no right to be so fine but LAWRD. I’d do anything just for one lick. This is short nd simple but cute🤭

ZORO DRAGGED HIS FEET across the wooden floors of the Going Merry, ignoring the muffled screeching of the clown head inside the dark sack as he set his eyes on thing. Nightfall was approaching, everyone on the ship wanted some rest, yet nobody was getting any with the constant whining of Buggy. The green haired man pushed open your door, making you jumped slightly as you looked towards him with a raised brow.

“I give up, all yours now.” Zoro voiced practically dripped in annoyance, he tossed the sack across the room, making it land onto the soft cushion of your bed before slamming the door behind him.

You could hear groans coming from the sack, “Damn you, you fucking broccoli-haired ass!” You chuckled softly, putting down the comb you had in your hand and walking towards the scruffy bag. As you released the clown head he sighed in content, breathing in the fresh scent of berries that engulfed the room. “Ah, sweetness, so good to see you!”

“Nice to see you too, Buggy.” You giggled, “You doing alright there?” You asked, smiling a bit as the man got comfortable on your bed.

“Much better now that I have you in front of me.” He winked with a flirtatious smirk on his red painted lips. “I definitely thought he was going to put me with that weird chef guy again so he could chop me into piece and cook me or something.”

“Looks like you got lucky today.” You smirked back, grabbing him and placing him on the small vanity, going back to combing through your hair. Buggy was a simple man, with simple needs, especially since his whole body was gone. The angle his head was facing gave him more fuel into his dirty thoughts. His eyes directly faced your chest, eyes captured on the line of cleavage peeking from the low cut tank top you had on. He was hypnotized by you, for the first time since he was taken by Luffy and placed on the ship to sail away to Arlong island he’d gone completely silent.

You simply hummed, clueless of how the clown shifted slightly to get a closer view. You suddenly let out a huff, dropping the comb and looking over at the clown. “Y’know, I like having you around here, you totally make me feel special and even though the rest of the crew might really, really not like you, know I’m on your side.”

“Mhmm.” Buggy hummed in response, eyes hungrily watching you. “I appreciate that, sweetness.”

You smiled. “You hungry?” You stood up and took him in your arms, cradling him carefully like he was a baby. The blue hairs that peaked from under the striped bandana tickled your skin.

Buggy enjoyed being around you, especially since you were so generous and careful with him, the others simply tossed him into the sack or an empty barrel whenever he even spoke. But you, you fed him, you defended him, you took care of him and did the exact opposite of what everyone else did. “I’m hungry for one thing, that’s for sure, sweetness.” The clown replied, eyes still clued onto your tits as you entered the small kitchen.

“Hey, maybe we can brush through that tangled mess once we get a quick snack.” You replied giddily with a big smile, “Hey, and wanna know another thing—“ You heard a string of groans follow as soon as you stepped into the room with Buggy.

“I gave him to you specifically to get away from him.” Zoro groaned, making Sanji nod in agreement.

“I’ll be out soon, stop your whining.” You replied with a roll of your eyes, reaching for the basket of fruit and picking out two apples. You picked up a knife and cutting board, quickly going to work and chopping up a few apple slices. “So as I was saying, nobody has ever taken me seriously, which why I also like you, you don’t make fun of me which is what many others do.”

Zoro and Sanji glanced at eachother with questioning looks as you proceeded with your mini rant, both of them making eye contact with the clown head that smirked at them, a cheeky look in his eyes.

“But I mean, Luffy chose me to be a part of his crew so obviously I can be more, I’m not dumb, and I feel like more people need to take me seriously.”

“Hey.” The clown smirked as he watched your every move, finally speaking up about his slight obsessing with your chest. “Nice tits.”

“Thank you!” You happily replied with a smile, placing the slices on a clean plate and taking Buggy back to your room as everyone stared in shock. “Goodnight boys!”

“Yeah, goodnight fellas!” Buggy called out, and if only he’d had the rest of his body he’d most definitely be given them a middle finger.

“How is it that a clown can do better at getting that girl then me?” Sanji muttered in annoyance.

Forever will live, love, and laugh Buggy

yummy, I <3 men who are bbyg’s

#buggy is my man #buggy the clown #buggy the genius jester #buggy x reader #buggy thoughts #one piece #one piece show #one piece live action #buggy smut #captain buggy #buggy one piece #buggy

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cr1mson5returns · 8 months

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Tim after causing another international incident: While this may at first glance seem like the stupidest thing I've ever done.....it's actually not that high on the list

#i hate him so much he's the stupidest motherfucker alive #dumbest genius anyone has ever met #tim drake #red robin #batfamily #cr1mson's thoughts

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leafyisgreennotblue · 4 months

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Wow what a cliche drawing for Submas Christmas but I felt like I deserved to draw it just once. Happy holidays to everyone :3

#pokemon #submas #subway bosses #sbms #subway boss ingo #subway boss kudari #subway boss nobori #subway boss emmet #subway master ingo #subway master kudari #subway master nobori #subway master emmet #I actually am so proud of myself for the joltik slippers I feel like a genius #it wasn’t even a grand thought I’m just crazy #and the litwick cup #they should get me on Pokémon merchandise

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