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shotmrmiller · 3 months

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tw: simon's mean and a sexist.

Simon who doesn't like you. He respects Laswell, who's intel is vital to their missions. Price as the leader of the Task Force. Gaz because he's proved his mettle time and time again, and Soap whose stubborn self has burrowed under Simon's thick, knotted flesh.

Not you, though.

You've yet to do anything substantial.

As a sniper, your job is to aim and kill; provide overwatch. Why Johnny insists on giving you praise for doing what is required of you is beyond him.

You aren't taken to below-zero temperatures as emotional support. Why you're taken at all is also another mystery.

Without your gun, you're utterly useless. And Simon proves it, time and time again during training spars at base.

He comes at you as if you're the enemy, with dangerous precision and quick movements. Simon gets enjoyment out of seeing your eyes widen when he moves, like an injured gazelle who's just spotted a ravenous lion.

His grip is bruising— the force that he slams you to the ground with devastating.

Simon can hear the air punched out of your lungs once your back hits the mat, and the time it takes for your vision to sharpen, he's already pinning you down viciously with a knee to the sternum.

Useless. Women don't belong in combat. He's seen that big brute from KorTac. He'd crush your pathetic little head under his palm, he'd kick your ribs hard enough to crack and the splintered ends pierce your lungs.

He'd kill you without a hint of effort.

And Simon intends to remind you that there is no place for weak, bitty things like you in the front lines. Unless you're to be used as a distraction by flashing your tits at the bad guys.

Out of place.

Every time you go up against him, he uses his size and strength against you, just like every other person will. He launches you across the floor with a single arm, only to watch you struggle to get up and continue this sham of a fight.

Confidence born of ignorance.

As if sheer will would ever beat physical prowess.

If your feet won't touch the ground, then the rest of your body will. Through spilled blood and bruised flesh, may you learn.

He whistles at Johnny, gesturing at him to take his place, only for the end result to be the same, albeit much more gently.

Simon watches you through half-lidded eyes as he leans up against the wall. You fight against inevitability.

Pathetic.

And then one day, you come at him with a snarl on your lips. Blunt teeth that have never had to sink into someone's neck and rip a throat out, out of utter desperation. An unblemished face that's never felt the sting of a sharp blade as it's sliced open contorted into 'rage.' Frothing at the mouth like a lap dog with rabies, barking out words that are as empty as your future.

A forceful wave of his hand abruptly halts you mid-sentence, causing you to involuntarily flinch in response. Good.

"If ya have a complaint, take it to Price. I am not obligated to humor your stupidity."

He spins on the balls of his feet, leaving you to sputter indignantly.

Then on a mission, you get shot. Simon grabs the handgun that's holstered on his chest, and places it in your bloodied hands. "Keep them off of us, or we're both dead!"

His fingers are curled around the thick strap of your tac vest as he drags you toward the LZ; his pace never faltering even while getting clipped by stray bullets. But you?

He'd think you got your legs cut off. Wailing like a cat in heat over a wound above your hip. A clean in and out, nothing vital hit.

Simon has seen Gaz fall out of a helicopter, dangle from a rope, and still use his gun. He's seen Johnny cross a town full of Graves' Shadows bleeding from his shoulder, armed with nothing but the makeshift weapons he crafted on the way to the church. Price inhaled toxic gas and made it out just fine. Even Laswell was taken hostage and didn't crack under the pressure, going as far as killing her captor with her bare hands.

And you're decomposing in front of his very eyes over a superficial wound.

Landing at base, he walks out without a glance back and heads straight for Price's office. He didn't join the 141 to babysit anyone, least of all someone who belongs in either intelligence or a kitchen.

#call of duty #simon ghost riley

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drabblesandimagines · 5 months

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Imperfections

Leon Kennedy x female reader Fluffy festive nonsense

Leon squints at the small piece of paper, trying to decipher the name upon it. It’s not the handwriting he’s struggling with, more the fact he probably does need reading glasses and he hates to admit it. He looks around, making sure no-one is looking in his direction and holds it aloft, trying to find the perfect spot where the blurry squiggles will finally transform into a name.

A name he knows all too well, it turns out.

Yours.

You’ve been working for the department just shy of a year – a new recruit in February – and had been partnered with him on a fair few missions. He’d underestimated you at first, mistakeably deemed you too sweet a thing to be wrapped up in this sort of business, but you’d shown him your mettle from the off and especially when things had got dicey – held your own, got the job done, saved his ass a couple of times and all usually with that beautiful smile on your face.

God, Kennedy, he chides himself, smitten or what?

He folds up the slip of paper, sticks it in his wallet for safe-keeping and his mind begins to whirl - what in the hell is he going to get you?

Secret Santa at the DSO – a bit of holiday nonsense put forward as a suggestion to ‘boost morale’ and apparently the President had loved it, has thrown together a whole Holiday Mixer around having the exchange. Everyone working here isn’t depressed due to a lack of Christmas spirit, more the state of the world itself and the dark depths they’re forced to confront…

But, hey, Leon S Kennedy will do as he’s told as far as the President’s concerned, and so he’d stuck his hand in the Santa hat when it had been thrust in his direction, full of his colleagues’ names.

There’s rules – has to be in government-officiated fun – gifts to be exchanged at the Holiday Mixer in a week’s time and, to try and avoid an influx of gift cards and novelty socks, it must include a handmade element, with a $25 limit.

“So,” you plonk yourself down on his desk - right on a pile of manilla folders that were left there earlier for his upcoming briefing and he’d yet to tackle - and lean in, “who’d you get?”

He sweeps his hair out of his eyes and sits back a little in his chair to take you all in. “Uh-uh, that’s against the rules.” You roll your eyes at that. “And since when has Leon Kennedy been a stickler for the rules?”

“I just don’t wanna be on Santa’s naughty list.”

“Fine.” You pout, crossing your arms in fake annoyance. “I won’t tell you who I got either.”

“Good, cos I don’t remember asking... And don't make an old man joke."

“Wasn't gonna." He gives you a look and you can't help but smile. "Okay, but seriously - I get the handmade rule, I do,” you shuffle back a little more on his desk, making yourself comfortable as you get to your point, “but what I don’t get is why it’s mandatory to participate in the whole thing.”

“It’s not really mandatory. We’re a small operation – you don’t participate, you’ll show up on the President’s radar for not being a team player. You know he’s all about that.”

“Well, make us do a team building exercise - build a bridge out of newspaper, do trust falls or something besides try and be crafty.”

Leon scoffs. “I’m not doing a trust fall with you – not after last time.”

You open your mouth to reply – that was most definitely not meant to be a trust fall, Leon had just straight up fell - when Hunnigan pops her head around the cubicle, not even surprised to see you sitting on his desk, and gives the two of you a polite smile.

“Kennedy – intel briefing set for 1200. You prepped?”

“Sure am.”

Hunnigan eyes the pile of folders she clearly remembered placing on his desk first thing this morning, the exact ones which are nestled underneath your thighs.

“Uh-huh… Conference room seven. See you there.” She turns on her heels and departs, and you feel Leon’s hand ghost your thigh.

You look down, a little startled – sure there’s been flirtatious touches here and there, a time where you would’ve bet that month’s pay check that he was gonna kiss you after a particularly close call but swerved for your cheek at the last moment – and realise he’s tugging at the corner of a folder.

“Whilst I won’t deny that you’re an awful pretty paperweight, mind if I get back to work now?”

You slide off – managing not to take the folders down with you - and mock a salute. “Yes, sir.”

The briefing is dull, which should be a good thing, really. No current BOW threats on the radar, though the threat level remains at orange. Leon can’t remember the last time they lowered it to yellow, so it seems a pointless system to him but he still throws in his two cents when called upon. He’s got another few weeks of desk duty to get through after Alcatraz after his medical - knows he’s not getting any younger and that’s why it’s taking him a little longer to recover after quite the beating.

Dismissed from the briefing, Leon swings by your desk on the way back to his, only to feel a little silly when he’s disappointed at the lack of you at it. There’s a shoebox sat on your desk though, lid taped on with a few rounds of parcel tape, but overall it looks a more than just a little worse for wear - crumpled corners and scuff marks all over the cardboard.

“Snooping, Kennedy?”

He can’t help the smile when you come to his side, your laptop tucked under your arm – must’ve had a meeting of your own. He holds up his mug, waving it from side to side in demonstration. “Was gonna see if you wanted a coffee, actually. That package looks a little suspect to get through the security check, right?”

You place your laptop down beside it and frown, before reading the return address. “Oh, no. It’s just some things that I asked my ex to send on. I forgot them in the move, only realized when I went to put my tree up last week…”

You trail off as you move the box towards you ever so slightly and there’s a horrible clinking sound that makes your stomach sink.

You grab a biro, jamming it through the tape lined around the edge as a make-shift knife and tentatively pull off the lid, bracing yourself for what you might discover within. Whilst you had safely stored them away in layers of bubble wrap, each in its own bo, he seems to have dumped them all out into the shoe box, one layer of bubble wrap on the bottom, another on top and they’ve obviously cracked together in transit, resulting in the shattered mess before you.

“Shit.” He comments, softly, watching as you pick up shards. “What are they?”

“My grandmother’s baubles.” Your voice goes flat as you pick up pieces of what once were precious memories and his heart aches. “She was a really talented artist before the arthritis got bad… Used to paint these and sell them at Christmas fairs.”

He’s silent as you continue picking through the pieces. There’s one that seems mostly intact, a smaller one but after further investigation there’s a big chunk missing from the side and you drop it back down in the box in defeat. Leon lays his hand on your shoulder then, seeing how you almost deflate in front of his very eyes, and he hopes to give you a reassuring squeeze – to let you know he’s here, he's always here for you, even if he’s not going to say it aloud. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine.” But he knows it’s not by how tight your voice is. You’ve never got emotional in front of him before, not even when you’d been injured had you let that stupid, gorgeous smile falter. “I… I have to head out. I’ll see you later.”

You place the lid back on the shoebox and shove it off the desk. It lands in the waste basket with another awful sound of broken ceramic.

“Whoa, wait, don’t you wan-?” He begins to protest but you shrug his hand off your shoulder, shaking your head and now keeping your eyes downcast.

“Sorry, I really have to go.” He swears you just about jog out of his sight, no real destination in mind.

Leon doesn’t see you the rest of the day, though he swings by your desk a few more times when he gets up to stretch his legs. The maintenance team will be in later – dispose of the shredded paperwork, wipe down surfaces empty the waste baskets… so he doesn’t think twice when he picks up the shoebox as he leaves, holding it tightly in the crook of his arm as if it were the broken pieces of your heart.

Later that evening after dinner, he sits on his sofa, changed into his sweats rather than stuffy shirt and suit trousers, a soda on the table in a heavy-bottomed glass – doesn’t drink anymore, isn’t worth it, but he still likes the weight of a good glass in his hand – with his laptop perched on his knees.

The cursor blinks in place before he slowly types in the search bar.

How to fix a broken ceramic bauble.

He’s good with his hands from weapons maintenance, can handle delicate stuff, so why couldn’t he glue some bits of ceramic back together into a sphere?

He scrolls down the search results – various how-to articles and videos. He reads through a few, learns that it can depend on such factors of where the break occurred, if it’s clean break or not, how thick the ceramic is and, after all that, there’s the danger it could look like a kid put it together for their mom at kindergarten with a pot of PVA glue and got bored halfway through.

He’s not put off, though, as he continues his scroll until something bright and gold catches his eye…

Kintsugi?

Huh. Sounds… promising.

He does a test first. Practice makes perfect, and he’s determined he will make them as close to perfect again as he can… once he’s sure he’s got the hang of it. He buys a box of six ceramic baubles from a nearby department store, whacks one off the table edge gently until it shatters into reasonable-sized pieces, then sets about setting it back together with the kit he’d bought online – paid for express next-day delivery as well, no time to sit and wait around for 3-5 working days, longer in the Christmas build-up.

You’d not mentioned the baubles the next day in the office or how you’d rushed off, just came and sat on his desk with a coffee, had the usual back and forth banter but he can tell you’re a little flat, the light isn’t quite reaching your eyes as it once was and he hates it. You’d been excited for Christmas – even brought in a Christmas mug on the 1st of December – but it’s all been extinguished, now a DSO-logo stamped black mug in your hands.

It takes him the entire box over the next few evenings until he’s confident enough to tackle one of your prized possessions. Each bauble is unique – swirling patterns of pastel colours on all-white ceramic, but he treats the pieces like a puzzle as he slowly divides the piles into category of each bauble – four in total – and gently works out which piece belongs to which. There are bits that aren’t going to be a clean seam but he’s prepared for this in his practice rounds, still a little shake in his hand as he finally puts two and two together.

He likes the meaning behind the practice - embracing imperfections, not trying to hide the cracks or broken bits, but instead highlighting it, making it a feature with bright and beautiful gold. Lord knows he isn’t perfect, far from it, and he will never be the man he was before Raccoon City. A few years ago, when he was at his darkest, he would’ve described himself as beyond repair – too smashed up to ever be whole again.

Slowly but surely, he’s began to piece himself back together, embracing the fact that whilst he’s not quite whole and might never be, held together by his friends, his will and some glue and now your presence in his life giving him a little bit of sparkle.

He shakes his head, leans forward and switches off the made-for-TV Christmas movie.

Friday evening is here before he knows it and, frustratingly, an intel mission he’s on runs a little long – gets caught up in traffic. He needs to swing by his apartment to pick up your gift and needs to get changed while he’s at it – the dress code quite clear. He enters the hotel ball room in a shirt, suit jacket and trousers, sans tie, an over an hour and a bit late, carrying the gift bag as carefully as he would a baby or a bomb. The mixer already seems to be in full swing - there’s half a dozen round tables, discarded wrapping paper scattered across the tops of them as well as empty champagne glasses and he realizes he must’ve missed the gift exchange.

“There you are! I thought you were a no-show.” You tease, appearing at his side a little too quick to not have been waiting for him. You’re looking beautiful in your black cocktail dress, the one that hugs all the right places and your hair half up and half down, held in place with a red bow.

“Duty called. Did I miss the exchange?”

“Eh, kinda. It wasn’t a whole big thing. The President’s not coming – double booked himself, so everyone’s just been awkwardly exchanging gifts and downing more and more free drink.”

He tugs at the ribbon hanging down off your shoulder ever so gently.

“Well, you certainly look as pretty as a present. Please tell me you didn’t panic and gift yourself…”

You ignore him, loop your arm through his instead and guide him over to an empty table – there’s a large queue at the open bar and hopefully a few more minutes of privacy before making endless small talk – and encourage him to take a seat. As he does, you crouch besides another chair and fish for something underneath, pulling out a red and gold gift bag, an embarrassed smile as you hold it out to him.

“Merry Christmas, from your Secret Santa.”

He raises an eyebrow but still accepts the bag, placing it on the table. “You’re kidding.”

“No. Why?”

“You’re my Secret Santa?”

“Can you at least hold in the disappointment until after you open it?” You pout.

“No, I mean… I got you. We got each other.”

“What? That’s… weird.” You sit down heavily in the chair, looking a bit bemused. “What’s the statistics on that even happening?”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to demand a re-count.” He rolls his eyes and holds out his own gift bag. “Ladies first.”

You smile, brushing your fingers with his as you take it, before placing the gift bag down on the table and see four small cardboard boxes nestled within. You take out the first one and unfold the tabs, carefully, before removing the piece of red tissue paper he’d nestled on top.

What lies below it makes your heart stop.

It’s your grandmother’s baubles, or one of them, now held back in one piece and held together with threads of beautiful gold.

You look at him and then back down at the bauble.

“Is this…?”

“Yeah.”

“Leon, I…”

He sees the tears in your eyes as you take out the remaining boxes with a shaking hand, lining them up on the table and revealing each one in turn.

“I hope they aren’t an insult to your grandmother’s memory.” He blurts out after sitting in silence, unsure of what to make of yours. “They were just about to be tossed and so I took them, did some research on repair techniques and, well…”

“Did you do this?” There it is – the smile, the real smile that lights up your eyes.

“What, you think this old dog can’t learn new tricks? Everything’s on the internet these days.” He shrugs off – he won’t tell you the hours he spent, the headaches he got from squinting as he pieced parts together. Hell, he’d do it all again if he had to.

“Thank you. They’re beautiful. I… I can’t believe you did this for me. I… I just, I mean…”

He places a hand on your knee, gives you a soft smile.

“There’s a lot I’d do for you, you know, if you’d let me.”

There’s a moment as your eyes meet that you feel perhaps your cheeks have gone as red as the bow on top of your head and quickly try to deflect, nodding your head at his unopened gift bag.

“You should’ve let me go first - this is going to be such a disappointment in comparison.”

Leon gives your knee a squeeze before he peers into this gift bag, digging out a small gift box. He places it down on the table and tugs off the lid to find there’s a beautiful ridged glass nestled in red tissue paper, heavy-bottomed – you know his preference all right - but there’s something within the glass too. A mass of what appears to be red and green yarn, a little loop of black string at the top… He picks it up between two fingers.

“It’s…” He trails off, looking at the colours. “It’s certainly festive.”

“Okay, I can’t knit but I tried and that’s the important thing here, right?”

“No, no, it’s… cute.” He smiles. “And the glass – I love it. Just my style.”

You bite your lip, looking a little flustered and unsure, but he assumes you’re still feeling a little emotional over his present… until you try and yank the yarn from his hands.

“Hey!” He gets to his feet out of instinct of being attacked and clutches whatever it is closely to his chest.

“Look, if you just give me it, I can try some other craft thing. Just I was in a pity party all week and I stayed up all night doing that and it shows.” You get to your feet then, trying to weasel through fingers into his to retrieve it. “I can’t leave you with that, it’s not fair.”

“No, it’s mine.”

You don’t give up your attempt to wrestle it back, though Leon’s grip never falters. “You don’t even know what it’s meant to be!”

“Sure I do. It’s…” He retaliates, whipping it quickly above his head and yours – too high for you to snatch out of his hands despite your heels – and squints once more, comparing it against some of the festive décor in the hall.

“Oh.”

“It’s so dumb.” You begin your protest again, now trying to grab it from above your heads. “I just tho-” Leon wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you forward firmly against his chest, before he finally drops his other arm and cups your cheek, knitted mistletoe still in his fingers and kisses you firmly on the lips, swallowing down the rest of your sentence. He can’t help but grin as he feels you relax into his embrace, pressing your palm now flat against his chest. He runs his tongue along your bottom lip, poking ever so gently to seek permission and-

“About goddamn time, Kennedy!” The shout of an inebriated agent causes the two of you to pull apart and you feel flustered by both the overdue kiss and what feels like the eyes of the entire DSO on the two of you.

Leon takes it all in his stride though, keeps a warm palm right on your lower back as he smiles and nods at whoever the hell it was that had interrupted, before pressing a sweet, solitary kiss to your cheek.

“Now, seeing as I’ve got this mistletoe, how about we go back to my place and try it out a little more, beautiful?”

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Masterlist . Requests welcome . Commissions/Ko-Fi

Comments, follows, likes and reblogs make my day!

#ghostdogwrites #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy fluff

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icemankazansky · 1 month

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Top 5 Iceman Kazansky eras

Oh my God, this is inspired.

Lessee.

In chronological order:

USNA Valedictorian and Most Valuable Player (Varsity Lacrosse and Intramural Sex) Era

Work hard, play hard. Ice did his share of grinding in high school, excelling in academics and balancing as many extracurriculars as possible, but now he's out of his family home, and he can come into his own. Between his Navy work and the extra rigors of playing Division 1 sports, as well as the natural effects of aging, Ice is going to bulk up, lose his puppy fat, and get Stupid Hot. Now that he doesn't have the confines of being a minor living with your parents, he's also going to have the opportunity to slut it up properly. I love this for him.

Top Gun Era

Waist: Snatched. Patience: Nonexistent. He's the best, he knows he's the best, and he's looking his best. Cannot stop serving cunt for a single second. This man is a 24/7 cunt buffet with a heart of gold and a smile made of actual sunshine.

Hot Shot Era

For several years after TOPGUN (probably at least a decade), Ice is going to spend his life as an active duty pilot, in demand and the best of the best. He gets to prove his mettle, hone his skills, and fuck Maverick in aircraft carriers and exotic locales all over the world. I believe they refer to these as glory days. You're doing amazing, sweetie.

Dad Jeans Era

As he ages and is promoted away from flying full time, Ice is going to be less competitive as a reflex. That razor's edge he's maintained so long is going to get sanded down, and he'll become more comfortable with his place in life and the people with whom he shares it, and be more comfortable going without that icy mask, be more comfortable showing his softness. He's going to buy some sweaters. He's going to take some vacations. Maybe he'll pick up some hobbies. He'll buy a bird feeder. He's going to go full DILF.

Growing Old Together

A well-earned retirement for the man who was one of the world's best pilots, one of the highest-ranked military leaders in the world, and an Olympic gold medalist in sex. Sweater Ice is going to enter silver fox mode. He's going to retire and relax for five fucking minutes. He's going to learn to use Do Not Disturb mode on his phone. He's going to install a porch swing on the front porch of his forever home with Maverick. He's going to read books for pleasure, savoring them slowly the way he hasn't been able to in years. He's going to join the AARP and get discounts at restaurants once he's able to eat normally again after cancer and chemo. He and Maverick are going to take long vacations together, just the two of them, doing things they've wanted to do their entire lives. It's well deserved, Admiral.

#asks answered #beloved mutuals #iceman kazansky #top gun #top gun headcanons #icemav

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slavghoul · 9 months

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Slav, since you are the all knower in the Ghost fandom, I was wondering what you think is gonna happen to Copia? Do you think there'll be a full on Papal change or do you think that there's gonna be some big change with Popia himself?

Well, ha, I'm not a soothsayer, just a humble observer and enjoyer of what Mr Ghost conjures. But if you want my opinion, I believe Copia's character arc has ran its course and there are no further avenues to explore. Since the Cardinal's debut in 2018, TF consistently indicated that the character would span 2 album cycles. He said his 'purpose' was to prove his mettle as a frontman to the clergy that eventually may allow him to be elevated to the status of Papa. That was the intent from the outset. Indeed he succeeded, he became a Papa. So where else to now?

Tobias throws in little hints about the future here and there, like the red cardinal bird in Square Hammer. Sometimes he drops morsels of info in interviews. I remember him saying an 'outsider' would take reign before Copia appeared, or joking about how he thinks the Cardinal would look better in facepaint shortly before he indeed earned his paint. Recently he said Copia knows his time is coming to an end, but he (Copia) is trying to ignore it, pretending all is fine. Chapters allude to that as well. You have Saltarian saying he knows when Copia's time is up. The ominous coffin scene. Heck, in one of the chapters you can hear a song that's called Hang the Pope. Coincidences maybe, sure. But that seems like a hell of a lot of coincidences.

I know for a lot of you Copia was your 'first' Papa, so it's hard to envisage a change, but trust me, seeing the transition play out in real time can be fun, albeit chaotic. Chances are you're gonna hate the new guy at first and everything will feel off, but once you get past that initial resistance, the process of getting to know him & navigating the new surroundings may start to feel akin to discovering the band anew. That's the cool and unique thing about Ghost and its ever-evolving nature, with each new iteration come fresh emotions.

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franklyimissparis · 23 days

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mr schwartz: a line-by-line queer-coded lyrical analysis

warning: this is quite long but mr schwartz is one of my favourite songs off the car album (and one of my favourites of alex’s in general) and i’ve ALWAYS read it as super queer but have yet to dive into precisely what makes it queer and the themes within it. it’s TRULY such an understated lyrical masterpiece.

Put your heavy metal to the test

- this is a play on words of the phrase ‘test your mettle’ which basically means to see whether or not someone will carry on through something that is difficult. immediately, this indicates that the relationship between alex and the other person is a difficult one and requires strength/determination to move forward with

- it also could refer to heavy metal music (which isn’t a very traditionally romantic genre) as is played off of in the next few lines

Might be half a love song in it all for you

- the phrase “half a love song” is particularly interesting to me as there are many ways to take it: it could be half a love song because it is unfinished or because it isn’t fully a love song (and both interpretations tie into other lyrics in the song)

- if we go down the route that it’s only half a love song because it isn’t fully a love song, it implies that there is more to the relationship than romance or that the song/relationship isn’t meant to be viewed (solely) through a romantic lens (but the other person may see it as such)

- whereas the idea that the song is unfinished could either suggest a lack of passion or the feeling that the story isn’t done yet.

- it could also communicate that the someone else needs to finish the song for alex - which is somewhat implied in the previous line. this could also indicate that, like alex, the other person gets musical inspiration out of their relationship

Timing wise, it’s probably for the best

- the use of “timing” ties in with the musical references but also highlights that the relationship is heavily tied to the timing of what’s going on in their lives (invoking “right person, wrong time” in a way)

- alex is acknowledging that because of forces outside of their control (i.e. time) it’s probably best they don’t pursue a serious relationship (or, like the previous line, a “full” love song)

Come here and kiss me now, before it gets too cute

- he’s asking his lover to quickly kiss him before they can let the moment become sweet, implying that, while he is fine with the physical aspect, the emotional side of things makes him uncomfortable

- musically, he also wants to avoid being cheesy or overly sentimental which ties in thematically with the ultracheese as well

- it’s important to note that this is also the only explicitly romantic line on the entirety of the car album: this (and the half a love song line) is the only line on the album that cannot possibly be read as platonic

Mr Schwartz is stayin’ strong for the crew

- here we switch to discussing the persona/character of mr schwartz, which as seen later, is obviously meant to be an extension/alter-ego of alex himself

- the reference to “staying strong for the crew” directly after talking about his lover implies that there is a conflict between the two: that staying strong for the crew entails keeping an emotional distance from his lover

- he recognises that those around him rely on him to keep up his persona to do their jobs (in this extended metaphor of a film set)

Wardrobe’s lint-rollin’ your velveteen suit

- alex is known to emphasise his personas via clothing choices and the velveteen suit is representative of that here. the crew removes any imperfections, like the lint, off of the suit (the persona)

- this also ties into alex’s obsession with perfectionism and control and how, though he is wearing the suit (i.e. persona), there is a mutual reliance between him and the “crew” to maintain his image

- also have to mention that velveteen is a rather untraditional material choice for something as traditional as a suit, there is a bit of a clash here between the two (a fully velveteen suit could also be seen as quite camp - and is also very 70s, which ties into eycte’s aesthetic too)

And smudgin’ dubbin on your dancin’ shoes

- dubbin makes leather softer and waterproof: again, others are trying to prevent damage from occurring to the persona

- this could also refer to the musical direction that the band has gone to in tbhc and the car: their music is softer and more contemplative than it was before, especially since ‘dancing shoes’ is also a song off of their first album. this could be commentary on how alex’s personas have evolved and the mixed reactions he’s gotten from his audience over it

Gradually, it’s coming into view

- we move from music imagery to film imagery with the line “coming into view”.. things were blurry or unclear before but he (or the other person) are slowly coming to realizations about their situation

It’s like your little directorial debut

- having a directorial debut suggests that this is the first time they are taking control of a situation and telling others what to do, they are directing someone else instead of being directed - with the word little being used to emphasise that this isn’t a massive change yet

- but he’s also directing himself to behave in a certain way: alex is directing his new persona, mr schwartz, in his debut

As fine a time as any to deduce

- to me this line also implies that this realisation has sort of been a long time coming, they’ve been through this cycle so many times that they might as well come to the realisation now

The fact that neither you or I has ever had a clue

- going into the next verse as well, this hints that alex and his lover have had struggles with seeing where alex ends and the persona begins and have also never been able to get their relationship right as a result

And if we guess who I’m pretending to be

- here he is confirming what is obvious: alex is mr schwartz and the persona is clearly differentiated from himself as “pretending”. alex and his lover are both keenly aware that mr schwartz is a persona which almost becomes a joke to them in the next line

Do we win a prize?

- alex pokes fun at how obvious it is to him and his lover that mr schwartz is a character but i think he’s also pointing out here: do we get anything out of the persona that i’ve created?

- he’s questioning, perhaps for the first time, if in the end keeping the persona up will be worth it to him and his lover or if it is all meaningless

Having attempted twice, both incorrectly

- okay so obviously the majority of us reading this are immediately going to go to a certain side project of alex’s and the two albums they’ve released (with talk of there being a third to complete the trilogy)

- this suggests that there have been two attempts at happiness between him and his lover but both times there was something fundamentally wrong with the relationship that caused them to drift, which is likely related to the act that he is putting on

Do we get a third try?

- the phrasing on this line is interesting as well as alex doesn’t ask his lover directly like “can we have a third try?” instead, he poses this question more existentially: will a third try be given to the two of them? it implies that he and the other person aren’t in control of their situation to some extent, they have to rely on being given chances by others.

- though this also could be interpreted as alex shirking responsibility of the situation onto others instead of being straightforward. he simultaneously wants and does not want control.

The gloved hand’s reachin’ in to hit the switch

- by wearing gloves, there is the desire to avoid leaving fingerprints/evidence of the relationship. and because the hand is gloved it is intentionally anonymous: is it alex’s hand? mr schwartz’s? the other person’s? or someone outside of things meddling in the relationship?

- interesting also that a switch is a binary thing: either on or off (gay or straight, platonic or romantic, alex or mr schwartz) ignoring the possibility of things being on a more complicated spectrum as is implied earlier (“half a love song”)

- hitting the switch is sometimes used as a euphemism for triggering a permanent change but can also be seen as a temporary action (the switch can be endlessly turned off/on), highlighting the back and forth in their relationship.

There’s not one goddamn thing that you can do about it

- this is the only time alex curses in the song which highlights how frustrating the persona and lack of power can be

- he feels stuck in the situation, just continuously flicking the switch between persona and reality, and indicates that his lover is also likely frustrated at this too. though they want to help fix the situation, they can’t, or at least they feel like they can’t

But Mr Schwartz is havin’ tea with the grips

- again, he’s switching back and forth between the real him and mr schwartz: while alex is frustrated and insecure about the lack of control in his life, mr schwartz charms those around him and takes hold of the situation

- more film imagery with mentioning the grips (those who help with camera and lighting equipment on a film set): to me, this line is fascinating as we’ve seen that everyone (including the crew) is working towards keeping the mr schwartz persona up and through the metaphor of the film set they are creating something imaginary, however, behind the scenes the grips still get to be real people with real families while alex, or mr schwartz, has to continue to keep the persona up.

Askin’ after all the wives and the kids

- the use of the phrase “askin’ after” instead of “talking about” etc. implies that the question is not mutual: mr schwartz is not being asked about his wife/kids because he does not have any and the others know it. yet he knows that it is important that he shows interest in their nuclear families. this is also clearly commentary on how alex is the only unmarried and childless member of the band

- it could be seen as him directing conversation away from his personal life: focusing on others and letting them talk is more comfortable than discussing yourself honestly and breaking the act

It’s at the heart of what the business is

- the final line of the song breaks down the essence of why the persona is kept up: ultimately, it is a business decision. alex understands how closely tied together business and personal lives are as a celebrity and is invested in the persona to keep the two separate, though by choice or force is up for debate

- also poses the question of whether or not he’s genuinely interested in their lives or if it is just business to him. it could be read as bittersweet in the sense that the heart of the business is human connection, but if you don’t conform you aren’t allowed to drop the act without punishment

- finally, this line also ties back to “staying strong for the crew”: he has to keep up the persona so that the ‘crew’ can continue to work and take care of their families. and hearing about them is both a reminder of what he is denying himself and what is at stake for the others.

to summarise: alex is torn between putting on the straight persona of mr schwartz and being truly himself within the fractured relationship he has with his lover - which has been heavily influenced by external and internal pressures. gee i wonder who the song is about (rhymes with schmiles schmane.)

#may do some other songs bc this was fun #it took me way too long though 😭😭#if you made it to the end you’re insane and i love you #if anyone has any requests let me know lmao #alex turner #the car era #the car album #arctic monkeys #miles kane #milex #the car #mr schwartz #tlsp #lyric analysis #queer-coded lyrical analysis

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culinarycrucible · 1 year

Video

🗝️ PREORDERS OPEN: GUARANTEED SSR SHOWCASE 💎

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This bundle includes:

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STILL HUNGRY FOR MORE?

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#twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twstファンアート #twst #twst zine

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ragnar0c · 3 months

Text

Me writing Full Mettle's draft when I said I'd work on OoS instead:

#Writing Full mettle is awesome when im supposed to do something else #ragna ramblings

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zapreportsblog · 9 months

Note

Any fandom X female pirate reader

You can pick any fandom with the pirate reader

I like to think the character falls in love(it looks up too) the reader because of how independent she is! And so they become their loyal right hand woman/man.

I think ima do this with the one piece fandom if luffy hadn’t become a pirate captain himself

❝dreams set sail❞

✭ pairing : luffy d monkey x reader

✭ fandom : one piece

✭ summary : luffy and (y/n) are childhood best friends but before shanks came around getting the idea of being a pirate in luffy’s head (y/n) was the first to bring it up

✭ authors note : I don’t have a masterlist for this one yet but it’s in the works

✭ one piece masterlist

The salty breeze swept through the village, carrying with it the sounds of seagulls and the distant crashing of waves. Luffy and his childhood friend, (Y/N), sat perched on the edge of a weathered wooden dock, their legs dangling over the water as they watched the sun dip below the horizon.

"(Y/N), do you ever think about leaving this place and going on a big adventure?" Luffy's eyes sparkled with excitement as he turned to his friend.

(Y/N) chuckled softly, her (h/c) hair catching the fading sunlight. "All the time, Luffy. Sometimes, I imagine sailing on a grand ship, exploring uncharted islands, and discovering hidden treasures."

Luffy's grin widened. "Yeah! And I'll be right there with you, (Y/N)! We'll be the best pirates ever!"

(Y/N) laughed, her voice carrying a note of genuine fondness. "You've always been full of energy, Luffy. But hey, you know what? If I ever become a pirate, you'll definitely be my right-hand man!"

Luffy's eyes lit up at the idea. "Really? You mean it?"

(Y/N) ruffled his messy black hair playfully. "Of course, silly. Who else would I want by my side?"

Luffy's excitement was palpable, and he clasped (Y/N)'s hand in his, sealing their pact. "We're gonna have so much fun, (Y/N)! We'll be the most amazing pirates out there!"

Time passed, and their childhood conversations became cherished memories. (Y/N) continued to share her dreams with Luffy, igniting the flames of adventure in his heart. The idea of setting sail with his childhood friend, becoming pirates together, was a promise that fueled his every step.

One day, a rugged pirate named Shanks arrived in the village, bearing tales of the Grand Line and the treasure-filled mysteries it held. Luffy's eyes widened as he listened to Shanks recount his adventures, his heart racing with the realization that his dreams were within reach.

"(Y/N), did you hear that?" Luffy's voice was tinged with excitement as he approached his friend by the docks.

(Y/N) turned to him, a knowing smile on her lips. "I did, Luffy. It sounds like Shanks has brought a whole new world to our doorstep."

Luffy's determination burned bright in his gaze. "I'm gonna be a pirate one day too, (Y/N). I'm gonna find the One Piece and become the Pirate King! No we’re going to become the Pirate Kings!”

(Y/N) grinned, her eyes reflecting her unwavering support. "And I'll be right there with you, Luffy. Just like we promised."

As they stood by the water's edge, their dreams stretching as far as the horizon, Luffy felt a surge of excitement unlike anything he had ever experienced. The promise he had made to (Y/N) was now intertwined with his burning desire to conquer the seas, to reach the pinnacle of piracy.

Little did he know, his journey was about to begin, and the adventures that awaited him would not only test his mettle but also bring him closer to fulfilling the pact he had made with his childhood friend—the pact that would turn dreams into reality.

Years had passed since that childhood promise made on the village docks. Luffy and (Y/N) had grown from wide-eyed children with dreams of adventure into determined teenagers, their aspirations burning brighter than ever.

The village had seen its share of farewells as (Y/N)'s departure day neared. The villagers knew her dreams well, and they supported her fully. As her sixteenth birthday approached, her family surprised her with a gift that took her breath away—an intricately crafted boat, a vessel that would carry her across the vast seas.

On the eve of her departure, (Y/N) stood by the water's edge, gazing at the moonlit waves. She felt a mix of excitement and trepidation, knowing that the moment she had been waiting for was finally here. But amidst the anticipation, a tug of uncertainty also lingered in her heart.

She spotted Luffy sitting on a nearby boulder, staring out at the sea. His straw hat cast a shadow over his features, but she could tell that his thoughts were deep. Taking a deep breath, she approached him, her heart pounding in her chest.

"Hey, Luffy," she began, her voice soft yet resolute.

Luffy turned his head, his familiar grin spreading across his face. "Hey, (Y/N). Ready to set sail?"

(Y/N) nodded, her gaze locking with his. "Yeah, Luffy. It's time for me to chase my dreams, to explore the world out there."

Luffy's expression held a mix of emotions—happiness, pride, and a hint of sadness. "I always knew this day would come."

She smiled back at him, her own emotions mirrored in her eyes. "I want you to come with me, Luffy."

His brows furrowed slightly in surprise. "Huh?"

(Y/N) took a deep breath, her heart racing as she found the courage to lay her feelings bare. "I know we made a promise when we were kids, but now that it's really happening... I don't want to embark on this journey without you by my side. Will you be my right-hand man, Luffy?"

Luffy's eyes widened, his grin widening into a bright smile. Without hesitation, he hopped off the boulder and took her hand in his, his grip firm and reassuring.

"You know it!" he declared with unwavering confidence. "I've been waiting for this moment, too. To set sail with you and have the best adventures together!"

Tears pricked at the corners of (Y/N)'s eyes, her heart soaring with a mixture of relief and joy. She squeezed Luffy's hand, her voice filled with emotion. "Thank you, Luffy. I'm so glad I won't be alone out there."

Luffy's laughter rang out, the sound carrying a promise of thrilling escapades to come. "We're gonna have the most amazing journey ever, (Y/N)! Just wait and see!"

As they stood by the water's edge, hand in hand, a sense of camaraderie and excitement enveloped them. Their dreams were no longer solitary paths but intertwined destinies that would lead them to uncharted waters and unexplored horizons. With the moon casting its gentle glow on the sea, (Y/N) and Luffy's adventure was about to begin—one that would shape their fates and bring their shared dreams to life.

#luffy d monkey #luffy #luffy x reader #one piece luffy #monkey d. luffy #straw hat luffy #luffy imagine #luffy imagines #one piece x reader #one piece x y/n #one piece x you #one piece luffy x reader #one piece masterlist #one piece imagine #one piece imagines #requested

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oasisdew · 1 month

Text

~~Given sequel and what we've got so far~~

We've gotten only two(2) chapters of the sequel so far and I personally think, the stage for the next arc is already set.

Given does follow a pattern in story-telling if you pay attention to it. And it does address one issue a couple (the main two couples) at a time meticulously.

The first arc was about RitsuMafu, and the plot was Mafuyu falling in love with Ritsuka and being forced to face his trauma from his ex's suicide and doing whatever was needed to move on from it, taking first steps towards healing.

Likewise the second arc was about AkiHaru, and the plot was Akihiko realising the extent of his feelings for Haruki and being forced to face his trauma of being in a longterm abusive relationship and doing whatever was needed to break free from the toxic cycle he was stuck in.

The third arc got a bit complicated with Hiiragi being mixed in the equation of RitsuMafu. Hiiragi introduced the problem that RitsuMafu were to face and got a subplot of his own (that's also still ongoing).

But essentially the third arc can be seen as divided in two parts the two parts that the two movies are covering. 1) 'Hiiragi_mix' as in the first part where Hiiragi (and Shizusumi) successfully did recreate the traumatic experience for Mafuyu again to face knowingly or unknowingly. And 2) 'to the sea' where RitsuMafu had to face that situation and prove the strength of their love and mettle of their characters to overcome the challenge.

But more importantly the main objective of that arc was Mafuyu getting full closure, not only from Yuki, but from the effects of trauma and grieving and the guilt that comes with it. As well as having to face the issues that traumatic experience gave him, as in his doubts about expressing himself, his doubts about his own worth as opposed to what he brings to table musically for Ritsuka, his hesitation of letting go of Yuki fully etc. These were all the issues that his previous relationship gave him. The unsurity of it all and the persistent feeling of fear of doing something wrong again with the everpresent feeling of perpetual shame and guilt for forgetting a person who for sure for a period of time he thought of as essential for his own existence. There's also been hints of his complex regarding Hiiragi specifically. Hiiragi is always being described as charismatic. Everyone thinks so. He has 'star quality' which Mafuyu probably fears(feared) he lacks. Yuki forming a band with Hiiragi wasn't easy for Mafuyu to take. Not in a toxic way, but in a deeply insecure way. We see him reacting oddly to Ritsuka praising Hiiragi in any capacity. Trying to not feel pressured by it, wanting more of Ritsuka's attention to himself. Literally fidgeting.

Then the same Hiiragi's band won CAC against 'given' and right after that Ritsuka joined 'syh'.

To Mafuyu it probably felt like Ritsuka leaving the loser band and vocalist Mafuyu for the winner Hiiragi. Ritsuka admitted it himself, Hiiragi was cooler than he imagined. Hiiragi successfully intrigued Ritsuka too. And Ritsuka was won over by him because Mafuyu wasn't enough. He needed to sing, and he couldn't.

(And then they metaphorically did throw him in the sea too. It was awful but I digress 😑)

But anyway, all these issues, insecurities, the culmination of it ALL as well as all the stages of grieving for Mafuyu, they were all masterfully handled in the last arc. Or second RitsuMafu arc.

Now that brings us to the second AkiHaru arc and like it or not, just like how Mafuyu had to grieve properly and find closure from all his remnant issues from his previous relationship and childhood, Akihiko will also have to face the issues he is still carrying from his last relationship. The gaslighting that he endured, the misplaced guilt that he probably still feels, the fear of doing something wrong again to fuck it all up for himself and Haruki and probably the band too.

And believe it or not, we have already seen the seeds of it. Also, I personally think Ritsuka will be the catalyst of Akihiko's arc this time and we are gonna get the Ritsuka arc either mixed with Akihiko's one this time or right after.

Now let's see what we got thus far.

1) AkiHaru LDR. Akihiko's ring and them living separately even in Tokyo as well as Akihiko's little show of flirtation to get Haruki flustered.

All of these point to something that I'm sure most of the fandom is vaguely aware of but can't put their finger on surely.

I personally think these point to the issues Akihiko brought from his experience of being the victim in an abusive relationship.

LDR is simply him choosing to not sacrifice his music for the sake of his relationship. He learnt from his previous relationship that that's not the way he gets to retain himself much less his relationship.

The ring is the symbol of his clinginess, or his innate urge to belong. To belong to someone. But with that also comes his fear of binding Haruki unfairly to himself. His need to be clingy to Haruki is constantly at odds with his fear of somehow being codependent or worse still, making Haruki codependent on him. So he himself is donning a ring and showing it off but he doesn't want Haruki to, especially if Haruki doesn't by his own accord. Haruki didn't show him his own need to belong to Akihiko, he simply asked, (with a strange look on his face too if I may add) if he should also wear a ring, and Akihiko declined. No matter how dramatic he tried to make himself sound to Mafuyu that's the root cause of it.

Akihiko living separately even when in Tokyo too also probably comes from the same fear and deep rooted issues. He was at the receiving end of such a relationship once and it was excruciatingly painful for him. His ex leaving the country for months and then coming back to only have sex for a few days with him(and then kicking him out but he had been gaslighted to think all of those as his faults so we no talk about it yet) while he was stuck in a place full of memories and yearning for those times to come back again and feel the love and happiness...he doesn't want any of those to happen to Haruki. He knows living alone is better than living with memories.

So on one hand he is desperate to bind himself to Haruki, donning the ring, going broke just to see Haruki every week, still bringing Haruki coffee, on the other hand, he is trying to set Haruki as free as he possibly can. Living separately, not making him wear the ring.

He is also still an insecure jealous mess when it comes to Haruki. It started with the second chapter of given and it's still going on. Akihiko wants Haruki's attention to himself all the time. He also needs to know that he still is desirable to Haruki and that comes from his abandonment issues. His parents as far as he is concerned didn't want him the moment he became a liability and don't even let me start on his ex. So being able to make Haruki flustered still is important to him. the assurance that he is still needed and desired and it's not all been just a whim on Haruki's part, or if it were indeed a whim, it's still there as strong as it was the first day, Akihiko needs to be reassured of it from time to time.

In contrast, I know that most of the fandom will disagree with me but, Haruki's issues are nonconsequential at this point. Is he probably sad to see Aki go? He obviously is. He also is possessive with his 'insect repellent' comment and seeing Akihiko instantly changes his whole demeanor. But Haruki is essentially in his essence this chapter. Thinking and planning and working. Missing Akihiko is inevitable but I don't think it's death sentence for Haruki. A large part of what Haruki possibly feels in this situation we see from Ritsuka's POV which is a trick Kizu uses frequently to mislead readers. Ritsuka is projecting high key. He and Haruki are fundamentally different. So he should be treated as an unreliable narrator here.

I think the difference between how Ritsuka and Haruki work is that Ritsuka can be at ease knowing that Mafuyu is at home safe and he himself has Mafuyu to come back to while he goes work outside forgetting everything in the world.

But for Haruki, he considers himself to be the home and can wait for Akihiko to come back to him indefinitely as long as there's a promise of him coming back.

Which brings us to the issues of RitsuMafu or more specifically Ritsuka that's been shown in this chapter.

So the issue with 2) Ritsuka is that he has no issues. I know there are many fans who want Ritsuka to breakdown or cry etc but the truth is that Ritsuka has no problem except for his own tyrant king workaholic self.

In previous arc we did get some covers that made us question about Ritsuka's mental state. 👇🏼 The main one being the left one but the right one too.

It's more been the words written on the left cover that were vaguely worrying. For the first time we saw him thinking about Yuki and the fact that he had been a big part of Mafuyu's life. And I understand some fans being disappointed that we didn't see him ponder on it again.

But the truth is, Ritsuka is 1) too healthy an individual by nature and by nurture to constantly be worrying about things that he can't control. He'll always find a way to cope healthily whatever the outside world throws at him and he did find a way to get closure from Yuki the last arc, it was to help everyone Yuki left behind get closure from him. 2) If he really indeed has to confront Yuki then it'll come after he has worked on his own issues so we'll have to wait and see if that happens ever.

Now that being said Ritsuka also does have to confront and control his own self. As they say, even the best things can be too much. And Ritsuka always had been and right now (after ten years period) especially is under the danger of being too much. For himself and for others.

To put it simply, he is too good. Thinking of everyone and how to make them reach their full potential and thus pressuring himself and occasionally others especially the ones he loves.

This started ten years ago though. The inferiority complex of 'given' being thought of as inferior to 'syh', the guilt he felt leaving his own band to play for the rival band.

As well as his need to commit himself fully to things that he has committed once and his continuous need to challenge himself which doesn't let him go easy on himself a bit. His need to fix everything, every situation and his ability to do so ends up making him cornered more and more and it's been piling up.

There's also this thing that he is biased about 'given'. He considers it his 'own' band, while he feels responsible for 'syh' and isn't one to shrink from his responsibilities. He gives his 100% to make Hiiragi shine, he specifically does so because he knows Hiiragi's potential.

But that doesn't stop him from feeling guilt towards his own band and especially mafuyu.

Now here's the thing, Hiiragi is syh's vocalist while Mafuyu is Given's. And syh's style is populist style, it's not about quality, it's about taste and syh and Hiiragi appeals to public taste more.

In Ritsuka's own words, they are 'flashier' than 'given'.

And here comes the conflict for Ritsuka. He has truly no one else to blame for but himself. He has made Hiiragi a star and now he wants the same fame for his beloved aka Mafuyu. That's what they were arguing about.

He wants Mafuyu and 'given' to become even more popular. It's literally the conflict of interest and he is fighting himself on both sides.

Which brings us to Mafuyu at last. Mafuyu isn't buying this. And that's deeply satisfying and comforting. Mafuyu who once was scared of Hiiragi 'stealing' Ritsuka's attention, or being too charismatic now wants no part in competing with him. He isn't scared of Hiiragi's brightness anymore and is deeply secured in Ritsuka's affection to the point where he actively is fighting with Ritsuka about music and says that he doesn't need to stand out simply because it's not Given's style. It'll sound fake and fabricated he says. And I agree.

I think this is what Ritsuka's arc is gonna be about, at least for now. He's been putting himself on spot too much, he once had this realisation that just because something is popular with masses, it doesn't mean it sucks contrary to pretentious intellectual beliefs. All because of syh and Hiiragi.

He'll have to come back to his senses now and realise that on the other hand popularity isn't and can never be the criteria on how you create art. Given's style is simply different from what appeals to mass but that's what makes given unique.

#given #given manga #given 10th mix #given manga spoilers #given meta #meta #my given threads #nakayama haruki #kaji akihiko #sato mafuyu #uenoyama ritsuka #akiharu #ritsumafu

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morgana-ren · 5 months

Note

Gortash and Durge writing you say? 👀

Oh yes, I find their dynamic absolutely fascinating. I hate it, but I love Gortash. I find him captivating. He's completely fascinating. I love his dynamic with Durge, and I've thought about it more than I care to admit. I've known about the stinky Dead Three for a long while since I grew up on DnD, and their followers interest me, but Banites first and foremost, because Bane has a code. He is not like Bhaal who just wants wanton death and murder and blood. He is not like Myrkul who his whims are slightly unknowable but revolve around death and the capture of souls. He has very real aspirations and structure for his followers. He has clawed his way into Godhood and he expects greatness from those who claim to follow him.

Here's the fun thing people forget about Banites: their entire schtick is domination. The strong eat the weak; The strong take as they please, and if you cannot fend them off, or defend yourself, or stop them, you deserve whatever happens to you. It's a strength hierarchy where the smartest, most powerful, and therefore, the most deserving rest at the top, and failure is not an option. Hate, tyranny, all of their portfolio sounds very hacky, but it's actually quite intricate and laid out.

Gortash is, in essence, the Banite prince. He is Bane's chosen. Of all the Banites, of all the power in Toril, it was Gortash that was chosen. His power was not inherited power. It was not swindled. It was clawed and torn and ripped and shredded by nails and strength and bloody teeth. He earned Lord Bane's respect. He worked his way to the top from literal hell through sheer fucking willpower and desperation, and that is a constant you will find in Banite culture.

The weak do not survive. They are fodder for the strong.

That is why Durge and Gortash would have worked in the beginning. Gortash respects strength. He respects intelligence. He respects control. When Banites look at Bhaalists, they see a cult of undisciplined, violent little edgelords who worship the edgelord supreme who stole full Godhood from their Lord. Gortash looks at Orin and sees an unhinged, obnoxious, desperate little thrall of Bhaal with daddy issues and a distinct lack of control or principles or any redeeming qualities. She isn't clever, or patient, or calculated. She wants death death death now now now red red blood sweet blood red and sticky and sweet impulse impulse, death death--

And he finds it lacking, to say the least. He will work with her because Lord Bane commands it. But in truth? He doesn't respect her at all. He openly shows dislike for her, and distaste at her proclivities. She actively defies his beliefs in a strong mind, a strong will, and a strong sense of control.

But Durge?

He expresses admiration for Durge. He expresses genuine kindness as far as he is able and a very real desire to be around them, work with them, and that is the highest compliment a Banite can give. They see everyone else as simple-minded, foolish, and weak. But Durge? He liked them. He respected them. He welcomes them back after they were bested (a huge sign of weakness by Banite standards) by their shitty little sister and have foiled his plans and thrown a wrench in his whole work.

He found an equal. He puts heavy emphasis on equal. Again, for Banites, no one is their equal. It goes against their entire theological belief structure. Strength, strength, earn, earn, power, strength, blood. The scale is a triangle and there is only room for one at the top. Only one can be the best. Only one takes that power and deserves it.

Gortash will not betray you if you work with him. He will hold fast to his word. He will share power. He will be wary of you, as all Banites are (because they are in a religion where you must be smarter and stronger and constantly ready for backstabbing especially when it comes to the parallel Gods of the Dead Three) but he will trust you and work with you. He will test you and test your mettle and ensure that you are as sharp and respectable as ever, but that is the nature of Banites. Earning their respect is a constant.

(It bugs me how easily they killed him off, but to be honest, I understand that from a story perspective, there is no other way. They couldn't have him sticking around. He was an antagonist. They couldn't flesh out an entirely different story and ending if you decided to be with him. He had to die, one way or another. But choosing to keep him around until the sticky end if you keep your word? That was a deliberate choice. It was showing his respect for Durge-- and respect is earned with fire and blood, and it was earned between them.)

Banites actually do have tenants. They have a code they live by. They have a very strict code, actually. You can see glimpses of it with Gortash and his holy books. You earn power by right of might. Not by swindling and cheating and lying and stealing. Gortash has nothing to gain from pretending to like Durge. It would be seen as a weakness and a form of submission to them to play so so nice. Dominance is required.

Gortash breaks this code. He breaks it with the lonely nobles he 'seduces.' Using sexual prowess is, in a way, weak, because it means you are not strong or capable enough to take what is yours. You are 'playing nice.' You are using wiles rather than asserting your raw fucking power. False kindness and compassion is actually looked down upon, if I recall correctly. Your strength lies in yourself. Not your cock. Not your body. It's you.

I'm sure Gortash had to pay penance for this, but he probably deemed it necessary for a plan of such an ambitious scale. Sacrifices had to be made.

What I'm saying is that I highly, highly doubt he would play nicely with Durge simply to smooth the path. It goes against everything he believes. Swindling money from some lonely rich housewife? Well, he can pay for that. But do you think Bane would have sat by and watched him play submissive to his enemy's literal blood-child?

No. Durge earned that. And so too did Gortash.

Gortash showed ferocity and prowess. He showed a willingness to work together, which is exclusive to Banites almost specifically. He never ever kneeled before Bhaal in any regard, but he did earn Durge's respect with their raw capacity for murder and blood. He showed initiative. There was genuine conflict in Durge's mind over their admiration for Gortash and knowing that they would, inevitably, be forced to betray him to end the world in blood.

They admired each other. They liked each other, which it seems like Gortash is more willing to openly admit because it doesn't go against his beliefs. They have proved themselves strong and smart. They have, in a way, earned Lord Bane's respect as well, and working with them is no weakness. It is no ploy because Durge is a 'threat' and must be placated. He likes them. He admires them.

Durge has a lot of guilt for liking Gortash. They try to rationalize and justify it at every turn, seeking penance from their father, writing scrambled notes on why why why. But Gortash? Gortash accepts it. Durge has earned their respect. It is no weakness to accept this.

I have no doubt that Bane had his own whims in mind. In the end, I'm sure he wanted all that power for himself. That's his entire gimmick. He's pissed off at Bhaal and Myrkul because he feels like they took power that was rightfully his. Gortash even outright says that their alliance can never be truly repaired; it is not in their nature. I'm sure it would have deeply conflicted Gortash when Bane finally put forth his Black Hand and Command and told him what must be done.

The child of Bhaal must die. The power must go unto the righteous and the deserving.

And I'm sure Gortash was already thinking of ways to circumvent this. He knows his Lord and his designs and peculiarities.

He praises Durge's ability to resist Bhaal's influence. He commends your control. He commends when you show restraint and condemns when your sibling does not. Perhaps he had fully intended to make them his Banite other. Perhaps he thought they could be swayed and brought unto Bane. Durge showed resentment at being controlled and forced and maneuvered about-- and Gortash never had that issue. Bane allowed him the space to conquer, and trusted his will and intellect. Perhaps Gortash thought that eventually, Bane might appeal to Durge-- and could free them.

I have found that the arrogance of Banites is their downfall. They earn their power and their right, but they forget: never underestimate your opponent. The folly of a clever man is to think the world around him a fool. And Banites commit this cardinal sin, and it plummets them every time.

After all, the Netherbrain was using the arrogance of Bane to puppet him and his followers into freedom and the Grand Design. Hell, they did most of the work for it. It was using the destructive and murderous need of Bhaal. The deathly urges of Myrkul. In a way, they're sort of one of a kind. That arrogance. That conceit. That raw need for ultimate control. It was a Banite and a Bhaalist that hand in unlovable hand almost ended all of existence.

But Gortash was not solely Banite. He was mortal, as was Durge. He had other wants and needs and desires, however much his religion took up of himself. He could see real value in Durge. He saw something in them: An equal. By nature, again, Banites do not have equals.

But Gortash spent his life alone. He spend it miserable and clawing, with no one anywhere caring for him. He was never given anything. He was forced to take; the very thing that drove him into the arms of Bane in the first place. A God that justified his will and recognized his ambition and power and the repulsive things it takes and justifies them inherently. The kind and compassionate and loved do not turn to Bane. The desperate and traumatized and hateful turn to Bane. He went from a captive in hell sold to a warlock by his parents, and then to a devil, and then used his sheer fucking intellect and will to escape. He went from a lowly no one loved by not even his parents to the most acclaimed, beloved man in the entire fucking city that once raised him in the gutters. He did not only take that throne where it did not exist-- he created one to sit upon.

And he was going to sit upon it alone forever.

But he looked at Durge and saw someone of similar struggle. Someone who has never been loved. Never coddled. Never cared for. Someone who was born to be a tool (feed his family's debts/serve thy Father's will) and had no will of their own (obey the devil to whom you belong and accept your place at his feet/you are an extension of your Father's clawed and bloody hand with no mind of your own) and had been seemingly created only to suffer (You are not loved, you are used and you will obey/ You are not loved, you are used, and you will obey) and he took them into himself.

Hand in unlovable fucking hand, they could have had everything.

They could have been good for each other.

#morgana and friends #gortash x durge #gortash #durge #me and my banite rambling #forgive me i know you probably wanted like WRITING but I had to get this out #don't worry I'll actually write something less whiny and faux-philosophical and get around to the interesting smut later tonight hopefully

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