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bethanydelleman · 2 months

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I was thinking about your Edmund vs. Frank poll and it made me revisit Frank's arc. I'll go straight to it - this guy exhibits massive red flag behavior at times.

The worst of it was the box hill episode. The day before, Jane had refused to walk with him (for very reasonable reasons though I'm sure she was also acting more out of frustration at Frank than any actual caution there). He outrageously flirts with Emma the next day in Jane's full view knowing she dislikes it. It's obvious he's doing it for revenge - to hurt Jane or get a reaction out of her. He brings up marriage completely out of the blue, brings up their engagement and makes a veiled threat to break up with her, and - this is what I can never forgive him for - he makes the comment about women in their "own set" which I'm sure is a dig at Jane's family's poverty. (please correct me if I'm wrong). And when Jane says something along the lines of "maybe we should break up" he loses it again and makes a dig at Jane's appearance and personality this time - asking Emma to find him a wife who is "lively, with hazle eyes", the opposite of Jane basically. And he wanted JANE to apologize to him after that.

Now the whole thing is very delightful to read as a reader. We can very easily see through Frank and his actions as those of a spoiled brat who has never been denied anything in life; with very little emotional regulation or control over his reactions. But imagine how horrible the whole thing must be from Jane's perspective - to be insulted like that by someone you love and plan to marry.

Frank's greatest redeeming quality is that he loves Jane. He really does love her, there is no denying that. But you can still be horrible to people you love. I also keep thinking about Andy's comment that Frank subconsciously resents Jane for the power she has over him, which makes him act out on her - the premise of the concealment allows him to hurt her, slander her character, criticize her personality and appearance all under the cloak of hiding the engagement. The ABC game is the greatest example - he already believed that Emma knew about the engagement by then, so there was no point to it except to harass Jane with a tasteless joke at her expense that he knew she didn't find funny.

The thing is I can totally see Box hill and ABC game becoming a pattern in their marriage later on. Whenever Jane doesn't do something that Frank wants her to, I can totally see Frank going unhinged, make veiled barbs at her in company accusing her of having married him for money and making digs at her for coming from a poor family; or express regret at having married too fast and young; or even making slight fun of her with their other guests like he had done with Emma. Later he is going to apologize profusely, love bomb her and buy her lavish gifts. But that doesn't change the fact that this is abusive behavior. You may say I'm overthinking it but consider - all of the future behaviours I noted is based on things he has already said or done canonically in the book.

One of your anons said that Frank had the potential to become Arthur Huntington in the future and unfortunately I can see that. Though I agree with you that Arthur had never loved Helen and Frank does love Jane, but you can still be abusive to people you love. I think of all Austen heroes Frank has the potential to become abusive in the future - because the abusive traits are already in his personality. Although I'm sure this dark side of his character probably appeals to a lot of Frank Churchill's fans.

I know this turned out to be Frank hate rant but I do like Frank. He is super fun to read on the page, and his love for Jane is endearing inspite of everything. And unlike the actual villains like Wickham and Willoughby, he doesn't have harm in his heart and all the harm done is because of his poor emotional regulation and lack of situational empathy. But my point is that a novel from Jane's perspective would be a lot darker than Emma is, and I doubt we will like Frank as much as we do then.

I don't regret voting Edmund because he annoys the fuck out of me, but I doubt he would ever make digs at Fanny's poverty, or make deliberately hurtful comments at her when he loses his temper, or make fun of her socially.

I know you like Frank so sorry if this comes off as hate, I promise it's not. Just a new perspective on "the worst Frank did was not talk to his father." Jane loves him inspite of everything and I can also see why. I hope she fixes him and they have a very happy married life.

English is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes.

Your English looks perfect to me. This question is in response to this question.

I don't know if Frank is as bad as you present him or as Andy thinks (I heartily disagree with him). Frank is a spoiled brat and he doesn't have much emotional regulation, but I think a lot of his acting out at Box Hill and the day before is due to his frustration at the engagement taking so long, not at Jane herself or her situation. He talks about how his aunt has only ever denied him a few times, one being going abroad. I think when Frank entered the engagement, he thought he would win his aunt over and it would be done and he'd be happy. The separation is wearing on him.

I think he has a bit too much fun "keeping" (he is not good at this) his secret but he also does not take the secret as seriously as Jane. He's annoyed with her because he wanted to walk her home and she said no. He's desperate to spend time with her but he can't. I think his problem at Box Hill is he takes Jane's rational secret keeping as a rejection of him (it's not). He thinks Jane's love is wearing out.

I could see them having a very happy marriage now that the moral dilemma facing Jane (secret engagement) is gone and Frank is more free to do as he pleases.

#jane austen #frank churchill #question response

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comeon-intothemadhouse · 1 month

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Since my poll made it clear to me that my BuckTommy-Buddie timeloop fic has a lot of interest

Heres a (late) Seven Sentence Sunday snippet from it so far.

If y'all want to be tagged or want to keep an eye on it just interact.

It's the third time he's been struck by lightning and Buck might be going insane. He knows, however unlikely it is, that he's in a time loop of several weeks...months

It's not quick enough to settle into a routine but Buck is already exhausted, and he just woke up. Eddie just made the same 'bzzzt' joke as the last two times Buck has done this and despite himself, he laughs like it's the first time all over again. Its Eddie, so how could he not?

In fact, Eddie felt like the only normal, a compass of sorts for Buck at this point. This time he didnt decline Eddie's offer to stay at the Diaz house to recover and left his parents and Maddie gaping after him in equal parts confusion and exasperation.

The couch was familiar, comforting and a half-baked argument all at once as Eddie tried to convince Buck to switch with him night after night. Buck stopped arguing when Eddie insisted that they at least share.

Buck hoped Tommy would forgive him for waking up spooning with Eddie because Buck missed him fiercely but being near Eddie helped just a bit.

#Bucktommy #tommy x buck #buddie #Longterm timeloop fic #seven sentence sunday #This is 2nd loop in...3rd time through the timeline and Buck is about to figure out what the timeloop is doing #And its sad af btw #It IS BuckTommy but it turns into Buddie #Kinley #Kinkley #Tevan #What are we calling BuckTommy anyways

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oboetemasuka · 3 months

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Order of Attack, part 13

"Of Blasphemy and Hypocrisy"

Amane's voice drama!

I really did just write 945 words in one sitting, not touch it for two weeks, and then write the other half. It's at 1791 words now, which is even longer than Mahiru's...

As per the little poll I ran a week ago, I have kept names in family name, given name order. I'll probably go back and fix names in the AO3 version after I'm done with the main fic.

We're nearing the end...

(cw: cults, child abuse, verbal abuse, descriptions of injuries)

Es was not prepared, as usual. They sprinted to the cell of the next prisoner they were supposed to interrogate. Amane.

But as they approached the door, they remembered what happened the last time they barged in. They did not want a repeat of Mahiru, especially since Amane had a much bigger reason to react similarly.

Unprepared indeed. As they gently opened the cell door, they found Amane's eyes drilling into them. Wait, eyes? They were informed that-

…

They gasped as the realization hit. Their gaze was drawn to Amane's right eye. It wasn't staring back at them. It didn't seem to be looking at anything at all.

Es fell backwards onto the floor.

"You have kept us waiting, Warden-san. It seems like you have not learned the importance of time since we last spoke." She paused to let Es get some sense back. "Are you staring? Warden-san, have you not been taught that staring is rude?"

Es quietly got back to their feet, still at a loss for words. They recalled what Shidou told them. If anything was amiss with Amane, they were to get him right away.

"Where are you going?" Amane asked as they turned away. They couldn't answer that. "Are you going to get Kirisaki Shidou, perhaps?" There was no answering that. "If you do, there will be no interrogation."

"What… what do you mean?"

"If you bring him here, I will refuse to speak."

That would cause a problem with the extraction machine. Es gave up and took a seat.

"Why are you so rattled, Warden-san? Could it be… this?" Amane swept her hair away from her right eye. "This is only a trial from God. I do not understand why it demands your attention."

Es grimaced. "Y-you… Kotoko…"

"Yes, Yuzuriha Kotoko did this. That is not the important part. What matters is that I face this pain head on."

"You're not going to… put an eyepatch on it?"

"I have no need for things that distract me from my path."

It didn't seem like Amane would continue this topic. And what could Es say? Sorry? That would probably yield similar results as when they said that to Fuuta.

"Warden-san, has the cat gotten your tongue?"

"I…"

"We gave you a chance to make your case, but it seems you have nothing to say for yourself."

"A chance- make- T-that's not-"

"If you make such an incomprehensible choice as to not forgive us, it follows that you would be able to justify it. Yuzuriha Kotoko has done as much."

"She…"

"She firmly believes in her right to punish those of us who were not forgiven by you. We pity her for acting on such flimsy reasons."

"I don't appreciate you driving the conversation like this."

"You are the one who is not talking. Tell us. Why did you make this choice?"

Of course she was going to ask this. Es knew this wasn't the time to share their actual reasons with her; it would only fill her with more contempt. But would she see through them?

"After examining your video, I've judged that your murder was the result of religion. Of faith."

They should have known this would turn into a back and forth of her insisting this wasn't murder and them trying to shut her down. She persisted.

"You might agree that the other unforgiven prisoners would do well with our faith. In fact, Kajiyama Fuuta's condition has already improved thanks to our guidance."

Had it really? When Es checked with Shidou before this interrogation, it seemed that Fuuta hadn't exactly been improving. He had just stopped taking as many painkillers as before.

Es wondered how much Amane had been interacting with the others. Fuuta and Mahiru had seemed protective of her, but they never brought up much about her faith.

This wasn't a productive line of conversation. Moving on…

They asked her why she kept referring to herself as "we". Whatever she said was a load of nonsense to them, so they just went back to the topic at hand. The murder.

Amane wouldn't budge. When Es tried to talk law and ethics, she only doubled down.

Until they hit a nerve.

"Milgram denies your doctrine. Your doctrine is wrong."

"You dare…"

"Your standard of judgment is wrong. Milgram cannot endorse a doctrine that allows murder."

"It was not murder. It was a punishment justified by-"

"It is wrong!" Es slammed their hands on the table. Amane flinched.

"Y-you say that like Milgram is a better standard of judgment," she retorted.

They felt bad for reacting like that even though they were ticked off.

"You don't get to argue-" they tried to fire back.

"We should say the same of you. How different is a judgment that allows such violence as punishment?"

"Are you dragging Kotoko into this again? She was not acting according to my judgment. She interpreted it as she pleased and acted on it accordingly. Frankly, I'm inclined to think you did the same."

"Excuse us?" Amane stood up, but Es paid her no mind.

"What proof have I got that you are acting according to your doctrine and obeying it to the letter? For all I know, you just made up a bunch of rules to selfishly serve your own desires."

"You… you…" Amane's voice sounded louder in Es's ear, though it didn't seem like she was shouting. Yet.

Es looked again where she was once seated. She wasn't there.

"You dare insult us!? You dare insult God!? This is unforgivable!"

Es turned to the sound of Amane's voice and felt the barrier activate around them. Amane was right next to them, trying to swing down a pair of scissors with one hand and holding her sleeve with the other.

"Don't you know it's impossible to attack the warden?"

Amane didn't seem to care. She just muttered "I won't forgive you" over and over as Es mocked her little pretend game of "we".

"You want to continue this child's play?" They pried the scissors out of Amane's hands. "Go back to your seat."

She tried to grab them back, but she was tired from her previous efforts to attack.

"Hypocritical warden… you're a child too."

"Wrong. I'm an adult in Puerto Rico and Haiti. You are a child in any country."

Admittedly, they made that up. They knew she couldn't prove them wrong.

Amane huffed, clearly out of arguments.

"That's right. Go back to your seat now," Es said, nudging Amane away by her shoulder. Her right shoulder.

She yelped and jerked away, losing her balance and falling to the ground.

Es got up and walked up to help her. "Amane, I- I didn't mean-"

"Don't touch me!" she cried out.

She swept her uniform's straps out of the way before pushing herself up.

Es extended their hand. "I could-"

"You will not… steal our… trial… not after you insulted our God…"

Once she got to her feet, she leaned on the table, wincing as she pressed her left arm down, and coughed.

For the first time, Es got a good look at Amane's injuries. Her right eye was bruised. The left side of her chin was scraped. Her legs were dotted with bruises and cuts. They all looked recent, even though a year had supposedly passed.

"The least you can do is not stare." Amane sounded like she was trying not to cry. "You trample over our dignity. So cruel."

"I'm not staring. I'm just making sure you don't pull something like that again."

"Excuses."

"If you're not looking for help or sympathy, then go. back. to. your. seat."

Amane complied, dragging her feet along. "We do not appreciate you treating us like that."

"I'm only trying to move the interrogation along."

"You call this an 'interrogation'? You are just being mean. Asserting your power over us just because you are older."

"If you want an interrogation, stay in your seat." Es waited for the tension to dissipate before continuing. "The fact of the matter is that you are a child. And that has a lot to do about how we judge your crime."

They were a few sentences into their spiel when Amane interrupted. "'We'? Who is 'we'? Is it not just 'I'?"

What?

Amane seized the conversation while Es was stunned.

"We really are just the same, you and I. You call me a product of my environment, and yet are you not too? You have been handed the role of the warden, and you obey it without question. And you say I am wrong for clinging to what I know.

"I'm aware I'm out of the ordinary. But aren't we all? A prison full of murderers, and everyone thinks everyone else is peculiar. Meanwhile, you judge us on arbitrary standards when you have no memory of normality yourself."

Es flinched.

"Mahiru-san told me about her interrogation," she continued.

Of course. Mahiru seemed particularly close to Amane lately. "What of it?"

"She told me how touched you were when she said she would hold fast to her beliefs."

Uh oh. Es was too slow to mask their immediate reaction.

"Hypocritical of you, is it not? You stomp on our beliefs. Say we are making decisions based on a faulty doctrine. Claim that we are picking and choosing for our own gain. How could you turn on us like this after talking to Mahiru-san? Is it just because she is an adult and we are not? After all this, will you continue to deny us?"

"It depends," Es responded. "It depends on what is shown in the footage. If something resonates with me this time, I will accept it."

"Very well. But if you do not forgive me—us—in turn, we will not forgive you… all."

Just then, the bell rang.

Reeling from Amane's remark, Es fell out of their chair.

"Funny how the tables turn."

Amane stood over Es and threw their own lecture back at them.

"Well, do get up on your own. It would serve you well to understand our trials."

"This about trials again…" Es muttered as they stood up.

"Speaking of which- Kirisaki Shidou has been such a detriment to us. He tries to steal our trials, but we hold fast. Kajiyama Fuuta, too, is starting to see the light. We are glad that we can guide him away from-"

"Shut up!" Es shouted.

This time, Amane remained headstrong. "Oh, Warden-san. You look angry. Are you going to hit me again like last time?"

"Enough!" The nerve of this girl. "Prisoner no. 8, Amane… sing your sins!"

Q. What do you think of Kajiyama Fuuta?

A. He's lost and in pain, but I'm glad to guide him back on the right path.

#milgram #milgram es #es milgram #amane momose #cw cults #cw child abuse #cw verbal abuse #bad things happen to amane #order of attack

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mikibwrites · 10 months

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WIP Wednesday!

Thank you for the tag, @carlos-in-glasses @bonheur-cafe @alrightbuckaroo and @taralaurel! So I'm pollinating two flowers with one bee, as it were, because Eres Mia won the wip poll and I was supposed to write 12 sentences of it but I ended up writing almost 1k over the weekend, so I just saved it for today LOL. This bit is not Tarlos, but it sets the stage for where TK is when this fic starts, as this bit is in what is most likely going to be the opening scene (unless I change things around as I am wont to do)

“Do you–” TK can barely get breath to say what it is he’s about to say, his throat closing up and his heart clenching painfully in his chest, terrified of what the answer will be. “Do you think we should call the whole thing off?”

“As in?” Alex is still studying the opposite wall, one hand fluttering at his pant leg in a nervous tic. Alex hasn’t done that alone with TK in years. The iron band around TK’s heart wrenches further. He swallows audibly in the stark silence between sentences.

“As in, not go through with it? The…the wedding. The–” an attempt at another swallow which veers off course into the opposite, bile coming up his throat at the mere words, “the marriage?”

There are too many seconds of absolute stillness for TK to not know what answer is coming. He braces himself for it, thinks to himself that this is where his life was always headed anyway; who could ever want him, broken soul that he is? He’s laundered his existence into oblivion–at first for other people, and then finally for himself–in the name of becoming a person who isn’t ruled by his chosen poison of the day. But in the end he knows the stains remain and even someone who purports to love him cannot help but notice them against the stark white linen he’s tried to wrap around himself in the time since.

But then, as has happened so many times recently, TK finds he cannot read Alex as well as he used to, because the answer he gets is, “Of course not. I want to go through with it, I want to do this. We agreed to it, and I’ll stand by my commitment to you. It’s just…all a bit much sometimes.” With this, he turns back to TK with a placid look, and comes back across the room to finally touch him. He lands a hand on TK’s shoulder, rubbing his thumb back and forth in a soothing gesture, calming TK’s erratic nerves the slightest bit. Then, he turns back around toward the hallway, throwing back over his shoulder, “Just tell me where to be for these dancing lessons, and I’ll be there.” It’s as much of a ringing endorsement as TK’s likely to get.

For the rest of the night, TK drowns himself in his wedding binder, planning and choosing and budgeting, and resolutely does not think about the fact that when TK asked if Alex still wanted to marry him, all the man could say was that he’d stand by the commitment, as if it was some sort of unwanted duty he’d have to endure.

OMG it's so frickin late in the day and I haven't even checked on who's done it yet so forgive me if you already have! But I'll go ahead and tag: @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @lemonlyman-dotcom @liminalmemories21 @rosedavid @welcometololaland @sanjuwrites @chaotictarlos @detective-giggles @lightningboltreader and @wandering-night19 No pressure to anyone! And if you haven't been tagged yet please consider this an open tag if you'd like to share, and please tag me so I can see!! 💙

#tarlos #wip wednesday #911ls fic #911 lone star #my fics #eres mia fic

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jarchivussy · 1 year

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the people have spoken. it is time.

[id: a badly edited screenshot of my poll. the text on top reads: 'ok wait. democracy or whatever'. the question of the poll is: 'should i write a call-out post for vee' with the options being 'yes' and 'no'. the yes option is at 100% and there is poorly colour matched scribbles over my pfp to make it appear like i did not vote for it. other edits are: the number of votes has been edited to be '1 mil', and the 'poll ends in' indicator has been edited to 'poll ended already'. end id.]

so. i would like to bring to people's attention that vee littlespoonsokka @grossgirl might not be the person they appear to be at first in this totally serious call-out post.

it all started on august 12th of 2022 when i sent a very innocuous ask, simply stating my preference for the number 49 and ham, and healthily communicating my feelings and expressing them to vee. however, he woke up and chose violence. her response not only denied me in my feelings, but also insulted ham and the number 49. i would be willing to forgive and forget, as i am a kind and very nice person, but unfortunately for us all, vee was on a roll. later the same day, they again slandered ham, even going as far as saying that it, and i quote: 'sounds like the saddest pussy!!!' not only this, but he also admitted to having lied to me about being 5'9" prior (i am autistic and heights are very important to me).

now, this was enough of a mess as it is, but on january 4th the same year, vee also admitted that she would soon no longer be a neurodivergent minor, instead becoming a 'neurodivergent major' (explanation on why this label is harmful here). they even claimed it was 'not of their own choice' when it clearly is. (additionally, he refused to pay my hospital bills, but amongst the other awful things she's done, i wasn't even sure if i wanted to include it).

and finally. today was just the last straw. what started as an innocent discussion of peanuts and food preferences, unfortunately devolved into something much more sinister in the comments. vee went as far as saying he wishes 'an anvil falls on my foot' and even told me to 'die' as well as attacking his poor and completely innocent (now ex) hubby @nazumichi.

this post isn't made to provoke harassment or anything of the sort. it's just to inform you and bring to light what dark things may hide in the shadows of your mutualships....... so watch out

#originals #GIANT SLASH JAY SLASH EL HAYCH (we are all joking around)#but no i actually seriously felt so dizzy writing this. i think vee hexed me

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pinersave · 2 years

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Kung fury street rage level 2

KUNG FURY STREET RAGE LEVEL 2 MOVIE

RRR is wholly sincere in its classical storytelling sensibilities, but ultra slick with its modern use of high-octane action sequences.

KUNG FURY STREET RAGE LEVEL 2 MOVIE

What an action movie it is, too! Directed with the speed ramping flourishes of Zack Snyder, but none of that American filmmaker’s brooding self-seriousness, RRR is a celebratory film in which the action is designed to wow-just wait until you see the second scene of a man versus a tiger-but it is also never couched in the other current American trend of self-effacement. Rama Rao Jr.) and Alluri Sitarama Raju (Ram Charan) we have the perfect anti-colonialist fantasy flick since both Bheem and Raju were actual historical revolutionaries and martyrs… who never really met and we have a toe-tapping, and room-shaking, musical with the best dance sequence you’ll see this year. As a consequence, we now have the ultimate bromance movie between Komaram Bheem (N.T. The film is maximalist filmmaking done with total conviction and splendor. Rajamouli’s RRR, the Indian Telugu-language action epic that has become a major event in the world of international cinema. It is safe to say that you have never seen something quite like S.S. Between them is a rope that they’ll use like a magical pulley system to swing and meet in the middle where a child dangles in danger-and oh yeah, the two communicated this plan entirely through hand gestures half a minute ago. So stop me if you’ve heard this one before: a history-defining friendship begins when two men spontaneously plan an elaborate rescue operation in which one will jump off a bridge while riding a motorcycle in one direction, and the other will do the same except riding a horse in the other direction. Yes, The Dark Knight is amazing, but we already have it at the top of several other lists for your reading pleasure. *Editor’s Note: Due to the abundance of superhero movies dominating similar lists-be it science fiction or summer blockbuster spectacles-we have opted to not include capes in this list. We here at Den of Geek have thus put our heads together, polled you dear readers, and figured out what are the very best action movies from the last decade and a half. And in the last 15 years, there have been some mind meltingly excellent action movies. But if you updated his idea to a man or woman on a motorcycle, runaway train, or some other type of speeding vehicle, with the sunset in their hair and a trail of baddies in their wake, and the assertion still holds true.ĭespite the continued indifference of the Academy toward the bedrock importance of stunt work in the moviemaking industry, the daring sights of madmen, and sometimes even madder movie stars, hanging from the sides of planes or riding that fabled horse past walls of fire is as pure a distillation of visual entertainment as you can get. If that concept sounds a bit antiquated, you must forgive the legendary filmmaker for coming of age in Hollywood during a time where Oaters were all the rage. John Ford was wont to say that there is no image more cinematic than a man on a horse.

#Kung fury street rage level 2

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is-the-owl-video-cute · 2 years

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tbh the screencaps of old posts on Dani's personal blog are cringe and in poor taste but they're not genuinely reprehensible like a lot of the things she's done. they might do us (people who actually care about the well being of her pigeons) a disservice in the overall discourse bc some easily impressionable people have already reacted with "wow this is a personal attack not cool !! maybe you're just being petty about the rest of the very well documented animal abuse she's been doing irl and condoning on her server !!!" in the notes of the post.

I think it's important to focus on the real issues, because some people are looking for any half-assed excuse to forgive the vile neglect (Dani causing cannibalism of peeps in her flock because she refuses to give them grit and didn't downsize her flock sooner, Dani refusing to clean the rot and maggots in front of her loft as if it wasn't an absolute emergency) and sometimes torture (Dani being okay with people cutting a wing with no anesthesia, Dani not euthanizing that poor bird with a broken femur) that this person is causing to these poor animals

obviously this is your own blog so you do whatever you want but I wanted to share my opinion. In any case you're right on not shutting up about the (again: very well documented) animal neglect and abuse she's doing

The reason they were shared is because it is genuinely a bit weird to compare a pet to your husband and talk about how good it feels for an animal to massage your breasts.

It’s not a “haha look at this cringe rp blog using XD lol” it’s because it had a strange connotation to me and I was curious if others found it strange as well. Call it an unofficial poll of sorts. Some have been asserting that it‘s proof of zoophilia, which I thought was a bit of a reach, but I wanted to see whether others would be bothered by it as well or if it’s something normal people would joke about.

Though to be honest the only reason it raised an eyebrow for me is because she has had a history of oversharing her sex life in spaces where minors were present such as her discord and didn’t really moderate nsfw comments and such either.

#I am still personally undecided on it personally #I do understand the concern but I can assure you I have no interest in mocking all her personal posts and RPs because that is irrelevant #I also could not be less interested in checking anything on that blog otherwise if I tried.

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mjvnivsbrvtvs · 3 years

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hi! so we have established at this point that you have A Lot Of thoughts about antony and brutus. but how does caesar (julius, not the little bitch octavian) play into that? bc like. my knowledge and impression of them is very limited and mainly constructed from watching hbo rome and idk. i think it'd be fun to throw caesar in the mix. love all the art and writing on your blog btw! have a nice day.

Hey, okay! So this used to be over 30 pages long (Machiavelli and Caligula got involved and that's when things got out of hand), but through the power of friendship and two late night writing dates fueled by coffee, I’ve cut it way down to under 10. Many thanks to the people who listened to me ramble about it at length, and also to a dear friend for helping me cut this down to under ten pages!

Also, thank you! I'm glad you enjoy the stuff I make! It makes me very happy to hear that!

And quickly, a Disclaimer: I’m not an academic, I’m not a classicist, I’m not a historian, and I spend a lot of time very stressed out that I’ve tricked people into thinking I’m someone who has any kind of merit in this area. It's probably best to treat this as an abstract character analysis!

On the other hand, I love talking about dead men, so, with enthusiasm, here we go!

For this, I’m going to cut Shakespeare and HBO Rome out of the framework and focus more on a historical spin.

Caesar is a combination of a manipulator and a catalyst. A Bad Omen. The remaining wound that’s poisoning Rome.

Cassius gets a lot of the blame for Brutus’ turn to assassination, but it overlooks that Brutus was already inclined towards political ambition, as were most men involved in the political landscape of the time.

Furthermore, although Sulla had actually raised the number of praetorships available from six to eight, there were still only two consulships available. There was always the chance that death or disgrace might remove some of the competition and hence ease the bottleneck. But, otherwise, it was at the top of the ladder that the competition was particularly fierce: whereas in previous years one in three praetors would have gone on to become consul, from the 80s BC onwards the chances were one in four. For the senators who had made it this far, it mattered that they should try to achieve their consulship in the earliest year allowed to them by law. To fail in this goal once was humiliating; to fail at the polls twice would be deemed a signal disgrace for a man like Brutus.

Kathryn Tempest, Brutus the Noble Conspirator

The way Caesar offered Brutus political power the way that he did, and Brutus accepting it, locked them into the assassination outcome.

Here is a man who’s built his entire image around honor and liberty and virtu, around being a staunch defender of morals and the republic

In these heated circumstances, Brutus composed a bitter tract On the Dictatorship of Pompey (De Dictatura Pompei), in which he staunchly opposed the idea of giving Pompey such a position of power. ‘It is better to rule no one than to be another man’s slave’, runs one of the only snippets of this composition to survive today: ‘for one can live honourably without power’, Brutus explained, ‘but to live as a slave is impossible’. In other words, Brutus believed it would be better for the Senate to have no imperial power at all than to have imperium and be subject to Pompey’s whim.

Kathryn Tempest, Brutus the Noble Conspirator

and you give him political advancement, but without the honor needed for this advancement to mean anything?

At the same time, however, Brutus had gained his position via extremely un-republican means: appointment by a dictator rather than election by the people. As the name of the famous career path, the cursus honorum, suggests, political office was perceived as an honour at Rome. But it was one which had to be bestowed by the populus Romanus in recognition of a man’s dignitas.69 In other words, a man’s ‘worth’ or ‘standing’ was only really demonstrated by his prior services to the state and his moral qualities, and that was what was needed to gain public recognition. Brutus had got it wrong. As Cicero not too subtly reminded him in the treatise he dedicated to Brutus: ‘Honour is the reward for virtue in the considered opinion of the citizenry.’ But the man who gains power (imperium) by some other circumstance, or even against the will of the people, he continues, ‘has laid his hands only on the title of honour, but it is not real honour’.70

Brutus may have secured political office, then, but he had not done so honourably; nor had he acted in a manner that would earn him a reputation for virtue or everlasting fame.

Kathryn Tempest, Brutus the Noble Conspirator

Brutus in the image that he fashioned for himself was not compatible with the way Caesar was setting him up to be a political successor, and there was really never going to be any other outcome than the one that happened.

The Brutus of Shakespeare and Plutarch’s greatest tragedy was that he was pushed into something he wouldn’t have done otherwise. The Brutus of history’s greatest tragedy was accepting Caesar’s forgiveness after the Caesar-Pompey conflict, and then selling out for political ambition, because Caesar's forgiveness is not benevolent.

Rather than have his enemies killed, he offered them mercy or clemency -- clementia in Latin. As Caesar wrote to his advisors, “Let this be our new method of conquering -- to fortify ourselves by mercy and generosity.” Caesar pardoned most of his enemies and forbore confiscating their property. He even promoted some of them to high public office.

This policy won him praise from no less a figure than Marcus Tullius Cicero, who described him in a letter to Aulus Caecina as “mild and merciful by nature.” But Caecina knew a thing or two about dictators, since he’d had to publish a flattering book about Caesar in order to win his pardon after having opposed him in the civil war. Caecina and other beneficiaries of Caesar’s unusual clemency took it in a far more ambivalent way. To begin with, most of them were, like Caesar, Roman nobles. Theirs was a culture of honor and status; asking a peer for a pardon was a serious humiliation. So Caesar’s “very power of granting favors weighed heavily on free people,” as Florus, a historian and panegyrist of Rome, wrote about two centuries after the dictator’s death. One prominent noble, in fact, ostentatiously refused Caesar’s clemency. Marcius Porcius Cato, also known as Cato the Younger, was a determined opponent of populist politics and Caesar’s most bitter foe. They had clashed years earlier over Caesar’s desire to show mercy to the Catiline conspirators; Cato argued vigorously for capital punishment and convinced the Senate to execute them. Now he preferred death to Caesar’s pardon. “I am unwilling to be under obligations to the tyrant for his illegal acts,” Cato said; he told his son, "I, who have been brought up in freedom, with the right of free speech, cannot in my old age change and learn slavery instead.

-Barry Strauss, Caesar and the Dangers of Forgiveness

something else that's a fun adjacent to the topic that's fun to think about:

The link between ‘sparing’ and ‘handing over’ is common in the ancient world.763 Paul also uses παραδίδωμι again, denoting ‘hand over, give up a person’ (Bauer et al. 2000:762).764 The verb παραδίδωμι especially occurs in connection with war (Eschner 2010b:197; Gaventa 2011:272).765 However, in Romans 8:32, Paul uses παραδίδωμι to focus on a court image (Eschner 2010b:201).766 Christina Eschner (2010b:197) convincingly argues that Paul’s use of παραδίδωμι refers to the ‘Hingabeformulierungen’ as the combination of the personal object of the handing over of a person in the violence of another person, especially the handing over of a person to an enemy.767 Moreover, Eschner (2009:676) convincingly argues that Isaiah 53 is not the pre-tradition for Romans 8:32.

Annette Potgieter, Contested Body: Metaphors of dominion in Romans 5-8

Along with the internal conflict of Pompey, the murderer of Brutus’ father, and Caesar, the figurehead for everything that goes against what Brutus stands for, Brutus accepting Caesar’s forgiveness isn’t an act of benevolence, regardless of Caesar’s intentions.

On wards, Caesar owns Brutus. Caesar benefits from having Brutus as his own, he inherits Brutus’ reputation, he inherits a better PR image in the eyes of the Roman people. On wards, nothing Brutus does is without the ugly stain of Caesar. His career is no longer his own, his life is no longer fully his own, his legacy is no longer entirely his. Brutus becomes a man divided.

And it’s not like it was an internal struggle, it was an entire spectacle. Hypocrisy is theatrical. Call yourself a man of honor and then you sell out? The people of Rome will remember that, and they’re going to make sure you know it.

After this certain men at the elections proposed for consuls the tribunes previously mentioned, and they not only privately approached Marcus Brutus and such other persons as were proud-spirited and attempted to persuade them, but also tried to incite them to action publicly. 12 1 Making the most of his having the same name as the great Brutus who overthrew the Tarquins, they scattered broadcast many pamphlets, declaring that he was not truly that man's descendant; for the older Brutus had put to death both his sons, the only ones he had, when they were mere lads, and left no offspring whatever. 2 Nevertheless, the majority pretended to accept such a relationship, in order that Brutus, as a kinsman of that famous man, might be induced to perform deeds as great. They kept continually calling upon him, shouting out "Brutus, Brutus!" and adding further "We need a Brutus." 3 Finally on the statue of the early Brutus they wrote "Would that thou wert living!" and upon the tribunal of the living Brutus (for he was praetor at the time and this is the name given to the seat on which the praetor sits in judgment) "Brutus, thou sleepest," and "Thou art not Brutus."

Cassius Dio

Brutus knew. Cassius knew. Caesar knew. You can’t escape your legacy when you’re the one who stamped it on coins.

Caesar turned Brutus into the dagger that would cut, and Brutus himself isn’t free from this injury. It’s a mutual betrayal, a mutual dooming.

By this time Caesar found himself being attacked from every side, and as he glanced around to see if he could force a way through his attackers, he saw Brutus closing in upon him with his dagger drawn. At this he let go of Casca’s hand which he had seized, muffled up his head in his robe, and yielded up his body to his murderers’ blows. Then the conspirators flung themselves upon him with such a frenzy of violence, as they hacked away with their daggers, that they even wounded one another. Brutus received a stab in the hand as he tried to play his part in the slaughter, and every one of them was drenched in blood.

Plutarch

For Antony, Caesar is a bad sign.

Brutus and Antony are fucked over by the generation they were born in, etc etc the cannibalization of Rome on itself, the Third Servile War was the match to the gasoline already on the streets of Rome, the last generation of Romans etc etc etc. They are counterparts to each other, displaced representatives of a time already gone by the time they were alive.

Rome spends its years in a state of civil war after civil war, political upheaval, and death. Neither Brutus or Antony will ever really know stability, as instability is hallmark of the times. Both of them are at something of a disadvantage, although Brutus has what Antony does not, and what Brutus has is what let’s him create his own career. Until Caesar, Brutus is owned by no one.

This is not the case for Antony.

You can track Antony’s life by who he’s attached to. Very rarely is he ever truly a man unto himself, there is always someone nearby.

In his youth, it is said, Antony gave promise of a brilliant future, but then he became a close friend of Curio and this association seems to have fallen like a blight upon his career. Curio was a man who had become wholly enslaved to the demands of pleasure, and in order to make Antony more pliable to his will, he plunged him into a life of drinking bouts, love-affairs, and reckless spending. The consequence was that Antony quickly ran up debts of an enormous size for so young a man, the sum involved being two hundred and fifty talents. Curio provided security for the whole of this amount, but his father heard of it and forbade Antony his house. Antony then attached himself for a short while to Clodius, the most notorious of all the demagogues of his time for his lawlessness and loose-living, and took part in the campaigns of violence which at that time were throwing political affairs at Rome into chaos.

Plutarch

(although, in contrast to Brutus, we rarely lose sight of Antony. As a person, we can see him with a kind of clarity, if one looks a little bit past the Augustan propaganda. He is, at all times, human.)

Antony being figuratively or literally attached to a person starts early, and continues politically. While Brutus has enough privilege to brute force his way into politics despite Cicero’s lamentation of a promising life being thrown off course, Antony will instead follow a different career path that echoes in his personal life and defines his relationships.

Whereas some young men often attached or indebted themselves to a patron or a military leader at the beginning of their political lives,

Kathryn Tempest, Brutus the Noble Conspirator

3. During his stay in Greece he was invited by Gabinius, a man of consular rank, to accompany the Roman force which was about to sail for Syria. Antony declined to join him in a private capacity, but when he was offered the command of the cavalry he agreed to serve in the campaign.

Plutarch

To take it a step further, it even defines how he’s perceived today looking back: it’s never just Antony, it’s always Antony and---

It can be read as someone being taken advantage of, in places, survival in others, especially in Antony's early life. Other times, it appears like Antony himself is the one who manipulates things to his favor, casting aside people and realigning himself back to an advantage.

or when he saw an opportunity for faster advancement, he was willing to place the blame on a convenient scapegoat or to disregard previous loyalties, however important they had been. His desertion of Fulvia's memory in 40, and, much later, of Lepidus, Sextus Pompey, and Octavia, produced significant political gains. This characteristic, which Caesar discovered to his cost in 47, gives the sharp edge to Antony's personality which Syme's portrait lacks, especially when he attributes Antony's actions to a 'sentiment of loyalty' or describes him as a 'frank and chivalrous soldier'. In this context, one wonders what became of Fadia.19

Kathryn E Welch , Antony, Fulvia, and the Ghost of Clodius in 47 B.C.

Caesar inherits Antony, and like Brutus, locks him in for a doomed ending.

The way Caesar writes about Antony smacks of someone viewing another person as something more akin to a dog, and it carries over until it’s bitter conclusion.

Caesar benefits from Antony immensely. The people love Antony, the military loves Antony. He’s charming, he’s self aware, he’s good at what he does. Above all of that, he has political ambitions of a similar passion as Brutus.

Antony drew some political benefit from his genial personality. Even Cicero, who from at least 49 did not like him,15 was prepared to regard some of his earlier misdemeanours as harmless.16 Bluff good humour, moderate intelligence, at least a passing interest in literature, and an ability to be the life and soul of a social gathering all contributed to make him a charming companion and to bind many important people to him. He had a lieutenant's ability to follow orders and a willingness to listen to advice, even (one might say especially) from intelligent women.17 These attributes made Antony able to handle some situations very well."1

There was a more important side to his personality, however, which contributed to his political survival. Antony was ruthless in his quest for pre-eminence

Kathryn E Welch , Antony, Fulvia, and the Ghost of Clodius in 477 B.C.

None of this matters, because after all Antony does for Caesar

Plutarch's comment that Curio brought Antony into Caesar's camp is surely mistaken.59 Anthony had been serving as Caesar's officer from perhaps as early as 53, after his return from Syria.60 He is described as legatus in late 52,61 and was later well known as Caesar's quaestor.62 It is more likely that the reverse of the statement is true, that Antony assisted in bringing Curio over to Caesar. If this were so, then he performed a signal service for Caesar, for gaining Curio meant attaching Fulvia, who provided direct access to the Clodian clientela in the city. Such valuable political connections served to increase Antony's standing with Caesar, and to set him apart from other officers in his army.63

Kathryn E Welch , Antony, Fulvia, and the Ghost of Clodius in 477 B.C.

Caesar still, for whatever reasons, fucks over Antony spectacularly with the will. Loyalty is repaid with dismissal, and it will bury the Republic for good.

It’s not enough for Caesar to screw him over just once, it becomes generational and ugly. Caesar lives on through Octavian: it becomes Octavian’s brand, his motif, propaganda wielded like a knife. Octavian, thanks to Caesar, will bring Antony to his bitter conclusion

And for my "bitter" conclusion, I’ll sign off by saying that there are actual scholars on Antony who are more well versed than I am who can go into depth about the Caesar-Octavian-Antony dynamic (and how it played out with Caligula) better than I can, and scholarship on Brutus consists mostly of looking at an outline of a man and trying to guess what the inside was like.

At the end of the day, Caesar was the instigator, active manipulator, and catalyst for the final act of the Republic.

I hope that this was at least entertaining to read!

#i cut out A Lot and its thanks to the patience of Friends that i got it down to the length that it is #like i cannot stress enough that i worked machiavelli into this and started dissecting the whole #brutus-cassius conflict with the framework that it was orchestrated by caesar #typically tho i tend to treat caesar as a symbolic device. a representation of something Very Wrong #this is a tag for asks

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luminisvii · 3 years

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RATING! ALL! THE CHAR CLONES!

i love char and gundam loves him too so because i am BORED i'm gonna rate all characters that the wiki tells me qualifies as a char clone!

many of these men will be rated on aesthetics and their wiki blurb alone since i have not watched all gundams

i tried to include pics but it SAID i can only use ten. WHAT? how am i supposed to rate how sexy they are?

Char Aznable

the man. the myth. the legend. i love him so much. hes super fucking hot bc of how bad he is. like an absolute madlad he goes around destroying the zabis and giving amuro hell. hes so good that despite being on team evil he regularly tops popularity polls and is widely regarded as being super attractive. im asexual but i agree. char is supreme. he and his red mobile suits cannot be topped. 20/10

Quattro Bajeena

now, char might be evil, but this guy is totally a stand up dude who is definitely not char. and the hyaku shiki? top tier. also very sexy. maybe char should take a lesson or two from this lovely man. 18/10 could not possibly be char himself

Glemy Toto

i have not watched ZZ. this dude upholds the tradition of stupid ass names in gundam. he just kinda look like hes a good person, though, which would be nice, but i prefer the evil men here. 6/10 love the idiotic name

Afranche Char

apparently a literal char clone. don't give a fuck. 1/10

Carozzo Ronah/Iron Mask

this guy really takes the mask thing seriously. i have also not watched F91. i love the just robot lookin mask and the purple color scheme. 8/10

Anavel Gato

this guy is kind of a chump. i get the feeling i'm supposed to find gato very cool, but all i could see was a total loser pushover as long as it was in the name of zeon. although to be fair, he was basically one of the most enjoyable characters in the mess that is stardust memory. 7/10 too much of a zeon apologist

Chronicle Asher

i called gato a chump but this guy looks like a tool. hes got the mask! i know nothing about victory gundam but this guy looks like, okay. 5/10

Schwarz Bruder

im ignoring the other guy listed with him on the wiki bc Herr Bruder is in fact, awesome. he isn't on team evil like some others, but he doesn't need to be. hes a JESTER NINJA. what's not to love? somehow, despite me thinking i knew the twist that was coming, he was still full of surprises. you cannot possibly predict the actual twist here. he really teaches domon how to get shit done. 15/10 absolutely sublime take on the trope

Zechs Marquise

not only is he voiced by takehito koyasu, but he chars so hard he chars three times as fast! we LOVE his dedication to being a char clone. i will never forget how treize challenged him to a fair fight and he was just like nah lmao. you go you stinky man! 10/10 for char-ing hard

Lancerow Dawell and Jamil Neate

i am fascinated by after war X and i'll watch it one day. it seems like the wiki is confused about these two and is going with very surface level details for these two being char clones. however i'll rate them both higher bc i think mr. neate's sideburns and glasses are just top tier character design. 9/10

Harry Ord

10/10

Rau le Creuset

i think i saw him in the like three episodes of SEED i watched. he definitely looks the part. seems kinda lame though. 6/10

Athrun Zala

this kid is hilarious, and also the most likable character i met in SEED, and he even has a quattro phase as he goes by alex dino! we'll give him points for effort. 9/10 you tried

Neo Roanoke

definitely not mu la flaga. hes also voiced by takehito koyasu. his mask looks kinda dumb, but i think the long hair look upgrades my man mu. takehito koyasu makes everything sexier. 8/10 bc i also simp for dio brando

Rey Za Burrel

how many char clones does the SEEDverse have? i do appreciate rey's early 2000s brooding anime boy look, though. 5/10

Gilbert Durandal

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SEED CHARS!!! this guy doesn't even look like a char clone, but he has the same voice actor and also apparently tries to drop shit on earth. we stan a king, honestly. 6/10 being in SEED deducts points

Hal Vizardt and Vladi Zarth

the wiki wont even give me a picture of these guys. 2/10 they get a point each

Ali Al-Saachez

i hate this guy. he sucks. normally i would find such endless villainy entertaining, but ali simply cannot work it in a way that's fun to watch or even in a way where you're like 'he's got a point.' he just sucks and i wish he could have been funny. we already have a char clone in graham anyway, so why are you here? bitch. 0/10 i was waiting for him to die

Graham Aker

he has all the tropes of being a char clone, and i loved him at first bc of his flair for drama and poetry, but alas! he got more and more sidelined for a different motherfucker. it's okay graham, i still love you! your mr. bushido phase was hilarious! 9/10 you deserved so much more

Full Frontal

hes getting points for the hilarious name but thats it. he is otherwise very boring. you cannot make me love a man just bc he is a literal char clone. 3/10

Zeheart Galette

AGE is also on my "deeply fascinated" list. eventually, eventually. i kinda dig this one's look. 7/10

Tatsuya Yuuki

initially, i hated yuuki bc i thought he was beating on middle schoolers for fun, but then i learned the dude is so goddamn passionate about gundam that he HAS to share it with others and honestly? king shit. while he's technically a char clone, i think he's actually a graham aker clone. the dude stans 00. an admirable position to be in. i love yuuki so much and hes my favorite build fighters character. 15/10 i will always respect the meijin

Captain Mask

the name is hilarious. hes got a cool mask too. i'll maybe watch recon one day bc of how ridiculous the reputation is. 8/10

Lady Kawaguchi

the rare female one, and proves that the kawaguchi name requires you to be extra as fuck. compared to yuuki's raw passion, she's cool and knows it, and doesn't need to flex. sadly doesn't get to do a lot. 10/10

McGillis Fareed

MCGILLIS MY BELOVED!!!! perhaps the only char clone that matters. this dude brings back the classic level of backstabbing, the supreme attractiveness, and in general, being an awful person. but i can't help but feel for the guy. he was trying his goddamn hardest to overturn a fucked up system. he also simply could not fathom having friends. mcgillis might only do the mask thing for a little and also wears a wig (McWiggis) but i forgive him, because the moves he does in bael are truly sexy. i adore mcgillis i have to rate him high but he cannot overtake the classic. 19/10 would let him betray me

Kyoya Kujo

even the wiki doesn't seem confident in this one. i like his look though. hes kinda got some gentle eyes, so i will assume he's the more quattro flavor of things. 6/10

Masaki Shido

BRUHHHH HE LOOKS LIKE A KNIGHT. 10/10

Honorable Mentions:

Master Asia

i didn't think he truly qualified as a char clone. he hits the villain thing and technically has some ideals aligned with char ? but he's a little too different. lacks majority of the archetype tropes. i still love him though 9/10

Vidar

hes got a mask and wants revenge. definitely not gaelio. the problem is, we already have mcgillis in IBO. i just don't register gaelio as being a char clone, because mcgillis is out here being the worst. gaelio is a wonderful character in his own right for all the opposite reasons that mcgillis is fantastic for being the worst. 10/10 i want nothing but the best for him

Ulube Ishikawa

just bc he has a mask covering half his face and is evil doesn't mean he's a char clone, wiki! and how dare you take away from schwarz just to be like "well ulube has a mask" WE HAVE ONE ALREADY!!! i also hate ulube. he is not a particularly charismatic character, but he isn't supposed to be. 2/10

and thus is my arbitrary ranking of the char clones. some people think char clones are bad. i for one, love them! i hope future entries have more masked men.

#luminiscore

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ye4gerismarchives · 3 years

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the bachelorette chp 5, part 2: connie’s proposal

an: hey yall 😛 i'll be posting another q&a before the final elimination chapter comes out. the day after that, i will close the poll, so make good choices! if you wanna change your mind, do it NOW! if you haven't voted, NOW is your chance😁 also, once again, i had to add an extended part to the connie family chapter because the full thing did not upload :( if the extended part helps you change your mind on connie, let me know! also, i really like this chapter because i could properly write a beach story! i went to a beach last week for the very first time and now i won't sound stupid when writing (and i'll never beat around the bush again!) link at the bottom!

tags: fem, black reader

tag list: @taybird

Unlike Jean, Connie did give you an idea of where you were going. He told you to bring some sandals and a light outfit and "not to worry about swimming because I know you don't want to mess up your hair- or makeup". There was a high chance you would be going to the beach where you had your first solo date. It was also the first time you talked about Connie being your husband. He said something about being "wise" about your decision. Now that you think about it, there was a pattern of Connie trying to avoid the fact that you two would have to be in love. You wondered if he'd bring that up again while proposing to you. You wouldn't want to say no to Connie if he did that but the whole friend zone thing is a BIG turnoff (y'all's words, not mine 😉)

But there was a positive side to this maybe? You already knew Connie and he had a higher advantage than Jean. You wouldn't even have to think about building a connection with him because you already had one. But the problem was love. You knew would enter a relationship with Jean, y'all would be lovey-dovey BUT you would need to build a friendship too.

Damn, this was hard. But this would all be over soon. You'd get a big wedding and if you didn't like Connie or Jean, you could move on. It's not like you're signing papers at the televised ceremony.

But anyways 😭 let's starts Connie's date. No time for analysis!

Connie had texted you that he was outside. You grabbed your purse and left the mansion. When you got outside, Connie was leaning on his car, being handsome and all.

"Hey," you greet him. You hold your arms out, hoping for a hug or even a kiss. Connie steps forward leans towards you but his head goes to the side and he's hugging you. Would this guy wait till the possible engagement before getting romantic with you or would the rest of your marriage be like this?

Connie pulls away. "I'm really excited," he says. You want to yell at him right now but the day just started. Maybe he was doing all this to lead you on and make sure you want to fight for him. To be real, this was getting tiring. Connie better be doing something big!

"I'm really excited to see what you have in store for me as well," you reply. Other than seeing Connie's next moves or his proposal, you were excited about the food. You knew Connie could cook, it was in his genes and he did cook for you multiple times throughout the show. As Connie opens the passenger seat for you, you begin to ask him what was on the menu today.

"Well, I've noticed how nauseous you get when under the pressure, so I made egg sandwiches and I packed juices and water. I hope that's alright. When we get engaged, I'll make you a big meal. I promise," Connie says before closing your door.

You thought it was sweet that Connie took note of that. When he got into the driver's seat, you gave him a small smile before opening your mouth. "Thank you, Connie. I really appreciate the fact that you thought about that."

Connie starts the car and begins the drive to the venue. There wasn't much talking done, probably because you would bring up the whole friendship thing. You wanted to get that settled but you also wanted to see what Connie has planned. These two dates weren't just about you saying yes or no but it was a way to see how much Jean and Connie wanted you. If there were problems in the past, they would try and fix them now.

Minutes later you were at the beach (you were right😁). Connie found parking and got out of the car to get the food. You got out on your own. It was weird not having someone rush to your side to open your door. Connie met you on your side of the car and offered you his hand. You can't remember him doing that before (if he has, forgive me yall🧍🏾‍♀️). But his hands felt nice, so you couldn't complain.

The same table from your solo date remained there. "Hey, Connie, just for you, I'll get in the water," you suddenly say. "Huh?! Really?!" he explains. 'Gosh, what a kid,' you think. "You just made this better, y/n! Thank you!" Connie continues. "Just my feet though. I didn't come here to get baptized or anything."

Connie places the picnic basket with all the little things he packed for you. He then proceeds to pull a chair out for you. When you sit, he pulls out one egg sandwich for you. "Juice or water?" Connie asks. "Um, (juice/water)," you reply. He places the drink of your choice in front of you and finally sits down. Connie sets up his food and is ready to dig in until he notices that you haven't touched any of your food.

"Hey...is everything alright? You feel sick?"

You shake your head. "Connie, we need to talk."

Connie sits up slowly. "What's up?"

You liked that Connie was able to see that something was up. This would be useful if you got married.

"How long are you going to friendzone me?"

Connie chokes in his spit. "What?"

"I mean sure we've been lovey-dovey but I still don't feel that romantic connection. If I do say yes to you, I expect us to start acting like a couple. I want you to be my husband, not my friend."

Connie is silent for a minute and then he opens his mouth. "But people who are friends-"

"Oh, shut up. You can be my friend but I want a husband! Please, stop bringing up those statistics and love me!"

You never thought you would be throwing a mini tantrum over a man. Is this who we are? Is this what we represent?

"Come with me," Connie says. You're hesitant to get up until he offers his hand to you. You take it and he pulls you up from the chair.

Connie slowly leads you down the water and you start to freak out mentally. Was he going to drown for telling him off? Connie wasn't that crazy right?

As you walked, you felt yourself slipping out of your shoes. The sand didn't hesitate to fill in the gaps of your toes and tickle your feet. The further you went, the deeper you were. Connie was just walking like it was nothing. You reached the water and Connie came to a stop. For a moment, he stared out into the ocean. You just stared at your feet. The waves pushed the water on your feet causing you to sink more into the sand. This was the world. You were on the edge. You weren't going to live for long, so you had to make the best of it.

"y/n, I hear your cries for love and I'm willing to give it to you. Marry me. I'll work on myself and you'll work on yourself. I promise you, I'll do anything to grow old with you."

Connie’s ring didn’t come in a box. He just pulled it out from his pocket. It was a diamond covered band with a halo shaped sapphire right in the middle.

damn, wonder who y’all gonna choose🤒 LINK

if you’re curious about how these rings look like, here:

connie (left) jean (right , however, his doesn’t match the description i wrote😒)

also, sorry for the white hand. i took a buzzfeed quiz

#black!reader #aot x black! reader #jean kirstein x reader #connie spinger x reader

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urimaginespimp · 4 years

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Michael Gray: Better Man pt 4

Walking in the diner that she was all too familiar with, Olivia was greeted at the countertop by the woman who she had become close friends with over the years.

Ginny was a fun woman despite her being in her fifties. She was still very active, cracks a lot of jokes, and has a foul mouth she wasn't afraid to use on anyone who crossed her.

"Well that's not a happy face." She greeted Olivia with a smile.

"It is not a happy evening, Ginny." She sat down.

"Care to share, dear?"

"I received a phone call about half an hour ago." She started telling the story.

--------- Her phone at home rang for the first time in months.

This is odd. She thought. Calls to her home were usually expected, as clients would inform her ahead of reaching out after office hours for more important matters.

Lifting the phone to her ear, her breath hitched when she realized who's voice was it on the other line.

"Olivia, dear, how are you doing?" It was Polly, greeting her in a sweet tone.

"H-hello Poll." She stated nervously, not really knowing how to converse with someone who practically raised her, and whom she left without a goodbye because of a jerk son of hers.

"Now, don't get all nervous talking to me, dear. I completely understand why did what you've done." She assured her.

This made her finally let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding.

"After being angry for a week, of course." Polly added with a lighter tone.

Olivia chuckled.

"I am sorry, Poll. But also please extend my apologies to the rest of the family, and another one to Thomas in advance, for I might kick his balls the next time I see him."

"Oh no, dear, it was me who pried on your phone call years ago. I am sorry it took me a long time to ask him of your number. But you're welcome to still kick him where the sun doesn't shine, he's been acting a lot more of an ass these days." Polly laughed.

The lightness of their conversation so far was what made her realize that she does actually miss them back home.

"I'll consider, Polly." She was smiling from ear to ear. All these years she didn't call them for fear of being hung up on or met with the vilest of words. Now here she was, actually talking to a Shelby other than Thomas, and it was going better than she expected.

"I have a favor to ask you, dear." Polly said, now in a slightly more serious tone.

"Anything, Poll. I owe you."

Then Poll proceeded to tell her about everything that recently went down. She wasn't surprised tho, she knew Michael's head gotten too big in the head, and him betraying Thomas was bound to happen.

"... now he's being exiled from here." She finished. Then taking time to pause, she then added.

"And he's heading straight to you."

She couldn't respond. She was too shocked to open her mouth.

Why here? Why now, when she was finally doing well?

"Olivia, I really am sorry, and don't blame Thomas for this because it was I who insisted. I've already lost him for years, and I just couldn't bare not knowing where he's gonna be sent to, please forgive me." Polly pleaded, growing nervous now that the girl had gone silent over the phone. --------

"Oh my..." Ginny reacted.

"Uhuh... just my luck."

"Wait, so you agreed?!" The older woman exclaimed.

Ginny knew all about it. Her life with the Shelby family, meeting Michael, the fights, and the cheating. And it's safe to say she isn't really the biggest fan of him.

"I couldn't really turn her down, Gin, how can I when she didn't turn raising me down all those years ago?"

The woman nodded in understanding. "So when is this jackass coming?"

"I'm expecting him tomorrow. He knows where I live." She sighed.

After knowing that by tomorrow she'd have to face him again, she decided to come down to the same place that first made her welcome into the state. The diner.

"Listen. If he ever tries anything, or hurts you in any way, you come to me. I have some good ropes at home that could be of good use." Ginny stated, half jesting.

"I'll deliver him straight to you, myself." Olivia giggled.

Taking hold of her hand, the older woman gave it a gentle squeeze. "You'll be fine." She assured her.

"I'll be fine." She repeated.

Then she spent the rest of her night chatting and helping around the place. Every employee their knows her, especially because she'd became practically a daughter the their owner, Ginny.

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagine #michael gray #michael gray imagine #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #polly gray #arthur shelby #finn shelby #john shelby #finn cole #finn cole imagine #j cody

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snkpolls · 3 years

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SnK Episode 69 Poll Results (for Anime Only Watchers)

The poll closed with 85 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Manga Readers’ poll, click here.

Anime only watchers, beware of spoilers if you venture over to the manga readers’ poll results.

RATE THE EPISODE 81 responses

Another episode with no negative ratings from respondents. MAPPA seems to be doing a fantastic job!

Loved it!

epic

WHICH MOMENT FROM THE PRESENT TIME WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 83 responses

It was relatively close for the top 2 choices that respondents picked, but the scene that caught the most eyes was Eren quickly escalating the conversation with Hange (30.1% of the vote). Right behind that scene was the conversation between the 104th about Eren and what to do about him moving forward. Distant favorites were Hange questioning Eren (14.5%), seeing Historia (9.6%) and the small Levi and Zeke crumb at the end of the episode.

Adult Eren was the best thing.

WHICH MOMENT FROM THE KIYOMI FLASHBACK WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 83 responses

The largest piece of the pie that was chosen (36.15) for the Kiyomi flashback was the moment where Historia agreed to inherit the Beast Titan only for Eren to passionately reject that plan. 24.1% of viewers most enjoyed the moment between Historia and Mikasa. At a tie, 15.7% either enjoyed Hange agonizing over sacrificing Historia, or Mikasa revealing the clan symbol tattooed to her wrist. A small handful most enjoyed seeing Kiyomi and Zeke meet in secret.

Pixis gigantic head. What was that all about?? Lol

WHICH MOMENT FROM THE RAILROAD FLASHBACK WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 83 responses

Nearly 40% of respondents were most thrilled with the moment where Eren confesses to his friends how important they are to him and the subsequent blushing. 22.9% enjoyed the moment prior to that where the 104th were debating on who’s best suited to inherit Eren’s titan. 21.7% enjoyed seeing Levi being visibly irritated about everyone’s height, and 10.8% enjoyed the background moment where Armin was chasing after Sasha.

I loved the train scene so so much!

MIKASA REVEALS THE AZUMABITO CLAN SYMBOL AS A TATTOO ON THE TOP OF HER WRIST. THIS IS A RETCON FROM SEASON 1 WHEN WIT REPLACED THE BRANDING WITH EMBROIDERY INSTEAD. THOUGH THE TATTOO IS WHAT’S FAITHFUL TO THE MANGA (MIKASA’S MANGA COUNTERPART HAS ALWAYS HAD THIS), WAS THIS A GOOD DECISION ON MAPPA’S PART? 81 responses

28.4% of respondents felt that the retcon wasn’t really a big deal, considering that the family symbol had already been alluded to previously in the series. 21.% didn’t care about this detail at all. 19.8% believe it’s a bit of a “yes and no” situation as both faithfulness to the source material and continuity are equally important to them. 12.3% supported the retcon in the name of faithfulness to the source material, and another 9.9% were supportive because they felt the embroidery was “lame and forgettable” anyway.

it was something useless that turned out to be important

We might get to know more about ackerman

HYPOTHETICALLY, IF ONE OF THE 104TH WERE TO INHERIT EREN’S TITAN POWER, WHO DO YOU THINK WOULD BE THE BEST OPTION? 82 responses

More than half of viewers feel that Jean is most suited to inherit the titan power from Eren. Trailing behind him, 22% feel that Mikasa would be the best candidate. 11% feel that Armin would be ideal (possibly due to him already having titan powers) and 8.5% felt that Sasha would have been the best candidate. Only a handful feel Connie is suited to the role.

WHICH “SHIPPY” MOMENT FROM THE EPISODE WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 81 responses

This episode had a lot to give in terms of endearing moments between the characters, so we asked which ones stood out most to you! 24.7% didn’t want to pick just one, and felt that all the “shippy” moments were equally good. 13.6% were swooning at the blushy glance between Eren and Mikasa. 9.9% most enjoyed Sasha and Connie’s increasingly awkward conversation about who’s the bigger idiot. 8.6% enjoyed the sweet moment between Historia and Mikasa, and another 8.6% enjoyed Jean heckling Eren over getting his hand-me-down, only to blush later at Eren’s confession. Relatively even amounts enjoyed all the other moments listed.

Let the shipping wars commence!!!

WHICH REVEAL WERE YOU MOST SHOCKED BY? 81 responses

The largest amount of respondents (38.3%) were most shocked by the revelation that Historia is now pregnant in the present time. 17.3% felt that Mikasa being the descendant of a shogun was the most shocking reveal. 14.8% had already been spoiled on all of these topics, and 8.6% found that Kiyomi’s alliance with Paradis was the most shocking revelation.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE REVEAL OF MIKASA’S ASIAN HERITAGE? 80 responses

The reveal of Mikasa’s asian roots comes with mixed opinions. 22.5% are enamored at the idea of “princess Mikasa.” 18.8% just feel happy that Mikasa is getting some importance and focus. 16.2% didn’t really think much about Mikasa’s asian heritage, but think the detail is kinda neat. 12.5% wish the series had done a better job of reminding the audience of the family symbol beforehand, and another 11.3% felt the opposite, stating that they knew this old plot point would be revisited again someday. 10% didn’t care about it at all.

IS EREN BEING TOO HARSH ON HANGE? 82 responses

Overall, the vast majority of respondents feel that Eren was much too harsh on Hange when they went to visit him in his cell. Though, 20.7% felt that he was justified in his anger toward them.

He could have talked nicely also

well yes as she came to have a friendly chat but he was technically in prison for wanting to protect his friends

Yea he did way to much

Yes and No...he was being a lil extra, but I don't know why Hange came to his prison cell heckling him like that

HANGE SEEMS TO THINK ERWIN CHOOSING THEM AS COMMANDER WAS A MISTAKE. DO YOU? 82 responses

The fandom shows almost unanimous support for Hange as the 14th Commander of the Survey Corps, with 91.5% stating that Erwin didn’t make a mistake in choosing them as his successor. A small handful feel that Hange wasn’t the best fit for the role.

I don't think there was a better option for Commander at the time of Erwin's death, but Hange isn't suited to the role (doesn't mean they won't try their best!)

Hange is definitely capable of leading, but I doubt that's a position they want to be in

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON HISTORIA’S PREGNANCY? 80 responses

Historia’s pregnancy came as a huge shock to the fandom. It seems as though it’s hard to feel positively about it with the information we’ve been given so far. 30% solidify that thought by stating they feel just as miserable as Historia seems to look. 20% responded more light-heartedly and stated they just hope this was Ymir’s “big dick ghost energy” at work. 13.8% are certain there’s more to the pregnancy than meets the eye, wanting to wait for more information. 13.7% feel that regardless of the situation, Historia would inevitably have to produce an heir anyway, so it is what it is.

The harshest violence in this manga : putting a lesbian in a non wanted pregnancy.

My heart breaks for Historia. She looks absolutely miserable. Seeing her so happy in the flashback and then seeing her now makes me so sad. Girl deserves so much better :(

DO YOU THINK SHE’S IN LOVE WITH THE FARM BOY? 80 responses

A rather uniform opinion arrives here, with 87.5% stating that they believe Historia does not love the farm boy, in contrast to the 12.5% who do. Happy belated Valentine’s Day!

NILE STOOD UP FOR HISTORIA WHEN THE OTHER MP WAS DISPARAGING HER. THOUGHTS? 80 responses

Nile has consistently been portrayed positively throughout the series and him standing up for Historia is just another aspect of Nile’s portrayal. About a third of respondents stated that their respect for Nile increased substantially because of this. Another third noted that they thought it was a nice detail, but it didn’t really make them care more about him. Finally, another third or so said that they always liked him and appreciated more reasons to do so. A few were indifferent.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, IS THE WINE SUS? 81 responses

Aside from those who were already spoiled about future happenings, the vast majority of anime viewers think that there is definitely something off about the wine that Nicolo offered. 9.9% aren’t sure, and small handfuls either think it’s just a red herring or wish we would not have used the term “sus.”

DO YOU THINK HIZURU TRULY WANTS TO HELP PARADIS, OR ARE THEY JUST USING THEM FOR THEIR RESOURCES? 80 responses

55% of respondents feel that Hizuru is not being honest about wanting to help Paradis get out of their dire situation, instead only wanting to use them as a resource for their unique iceburst stones. 31.3% think that it’s half-and-half, they want to help, but also want something in return for that help. Absolutely no one felt that Hizuru’s primary motivation for coming to Paradis has to do with wanting to aid them.

CONNIE IS FURIOUS WITH EREN FOR HIS REACTION ON SASHA’S DEATH, AS WELL AS THE FACT THAT EREN DRAGGED THEM INTO THAT DANGEROUS SITUATION IN THE FIRST PLACE. DO YOU THINK HE WILL HOLD THIS GRUDGE FOREVER, OR EVENTUALLY FORGIVE EREN? 80 responses

Connie suffered a near breakdown in this episode, courtesy of Eren and Sasha’s death. As such, one wonders what’ll happen to their relationship afterwards. A plurality (43.8%) think that it’s really just up in the air and also depends on what Eren does moving forward. 22.5% believe that he won’t be able to forgive Eren, but will move past it in some sense. Finally, 20% simply think that this’ll forever remain something embedded in Connie’s view of Eren. A select few did state that they believe Connie will forgive Eren in time, however. A couple more were also spoiled about this development’s future.

When Hannes died, Eren laughed as well. This is probably just how Eren is.

Connie is right and he should say it. As far as forgiveness goes, i dont think Eren has passed the point of no return yet, but he's pretty damn close

CONNIE ALSO STATES, “THAT WASN’T EREN.” DO YOU THINK THAT THERE IS SOMETHING WEIRD GOING ON WITH EREN? 80 responses

Eren does not exactly appear to be as he was in his prior appearances and Connie states so. The respondents were rather split when attempting to figure out Eren. Just a little over a third thought this simply was the real Eren, but one who gave into his dark side. 27.5% weren’t sure, but did note that Eren was truly acting differently than usual. 15% thought that he might have been influenced by previous Titan shifters, while 10% believed that Zeke might have taken some control of him. A select few were either spoiled or simply had no clue.

Eren is finally standing up for himself and fighting

The pressure of trying to make the world a better place is driving him mad I guess

I go back and forth on this, because on one hand, yeah, this seems like a really drastic shift. But on the other hand, rewatching previous seasons and seening some of the impulsive/extreme shit he's done and said, his current behavior doesn't seem TOO out of the realm of possibility

MIKASA ARGUES THAT EREN’S ACTIONS WERE FOR THEIR SAKE AND THAT HE ONLY DRAGGED THEM INTO THE ATTACK ON LIBERIO BECAUSE HE TRUSTED THEM TO SURVIVE. JEAN, ON THE OTHER HAND, ARGUES THAT EREN IS NO LONGER THE PERSON THAT THEY KNEW AND DIDN’T CARE ABOUT THE RISK TO THEIR LIVES. WHO DO YOU AGREE WITH MORE? 80 responses

It would appear that the majority (65%) sides with Jean, thinking that Eren doesn’t really care about the lives of his friends any longer, in contrast to the 35% who believe that he still does and he was simply trusting them to survive the Liberio raid.

JEAN STATES THAT EREN IS “SUDDENLY ON BOARD WITH ZEKE’S PLAN,” AND THAT WHATEVER THEY TALKED ABOUT IS “SOMETHING ONLY THEY KNOW.” DO YOU THINK THAT EREN AND ZEKE HAVE THE SAME GOAL? 79 responses

There appears to be next to no consensus on what exactly is going on between Eren and Zeke and why they appear to be working together. 24.1%, the largest chunk of the pie, feel that Eren still doesn’t agree with Zeke’s plan, but is rather using him for his own goal. 4 more options came in at a tie. Aside from the 13.9% that have been spoiled, the others feel it’s either a mix of some of the options presented, or that the Yeagerbros have come up with a plan together that they intend to keep a secret, or aren’t sure how to answer and simply put “I don’t know.” 11.4% believe that Eren, left with no other options, has fully agreed to Zeke’s plan - but that Zeke’s true motives are still yet to be seen.

I’m excited to see all the reasons behind Eren’s sudden change and his true motives.

We need to find why eren acting like this and am i the only one who saw trouble coming because of him

IF EREN HAS ACTUALLY TURNED HIS BACK ON HIS FRIENDS, WILL MIKASA CONTINUE TO DEFEND HIS ACTIONS AND PROTECT HIM? 80 responses

Mikasa has shown unconditional loyalty throughout the series toward Eren, but are his current actions enough to shake that loyalty? 41.3% don’t seem to think so, believing that Mikasa will ultimately still support Eren in whatever his future actions may be. 32.5% think that she may continue to stick by him, but don’t want to say for sure. 26.3% feel certain that Mikasa would ultimately choose her other friends over Eren if push really came to shove.

ARMIN INSINUATES THAT SINCE PARADIS NOW HAS ACCESS TO SERUMS, THE MILITARY WILL TRY TO HAVE SOMEONE MORE “TRUSTWORTHY” EAT EREN TO TAKE HIS POWERS. DO YOU THINK HIS HUNCH IS RIGHT? 79 responses

Few, if any, militaries in the world tolerate insubordination and the Paradisian one is no exception. The majority (67.1%) believe the military will attempt to have Eren fed to a more trustworthy individual, in contrast to 10.1% who believe that they won’t. 22.8% simply aren’t sure.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WAS THE POINT IN THE FLASHBACKS THIS EPISODE? 80 responses

This episode’s flashback was received rather positively, but this series does not include any flashback for no reason and this one is probably no exception. The majority (60%) believe it’s there to showcase the glaring difference between Eren’s current and former demeanor. In contrast 35% think it’s there to reiterate the idea that Eren still loves and cares for his friends. A select few also noted that perhaps it’s there for exposition/angst or were simply unsure.

It just gets better; the flashbacks are definitely important to show Eren's progression and his seemingly contradictory actions, but I definitely feel like the emphasis on how much he cares for his friends is more important than it currently seems.

LOOKS LIKE WE’RE GOING BACK TO GABI AND FALCO NEXT WEEK. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT? 80 responses

Many are looking forward to seeing Gabi and Falco’s Bizarre Adventure, with 77.6% giving it a rating of 3 or higher. Are you a proud member of the Gabi Gang? Wow! Let us know!

Gabi sucks

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

People who spoil, dig a grave and crawl in it and die please

Awwwww why are Levi and Hange not included in the "shippy" moments? I like how Mappa balances out the heavy and light stuff and showed how different Eren is from before and how it makes people keep on thinking if he still really care for his friends, but the previous episodes have been better for me, maybe just because of the content. I did not really fell good seeing the scene of Eren and Hange. I think he couldn't be like that had Levi been there. Also, I think farmer boy is the real father. Isayama just didn't see the importance of revealing it and what with only 2 chapters remaining and people still really curious about it, this chance has come up.

Kind of slowish. I appreciate the big plot points, but I always want to see more of Levi.

Again, back to not knowing what the fuck is going on...so many flashbacks and plan details. Imma still watch tho !! Thanks MAPPA for the food <3

Eren is hot (lmao sry but he didnt really catch my interest UNTIL this episode)

Honestly loved it,like i loved every other episode,i just hope that no one else dies but i know they will

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 76 responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated!

#snk poll #snk polls #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk #aot #snk s4 #snk spoilers

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haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles · 4 years

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Professor Kuroo Part Two

slides this across the table in a humble offering that it’s been 3 weeks since my poll pls forgive me

part one

Love y’all, J

You hate yourself for what you’ve done. But with the convention around the corner, your higher-ups are rightfully confused as to why you want out of Dr. Kuroo’s project so late in the game. You try to chalk it up to wanting to ‘broaden your horizons’, but even that doesn’t convince them fully. Instead, they tell you to continue working with Dr. Kuroo while also giving you some small task on Dr. Yu’s project that you’ll probably complete in two days.

So, Monday morning after that meeting crushing your hopes of just brushing what happened in the library Friday night under the rug, you trudge back to your desk trying your best to ignore the whispers following you as you go. Word spreads like wildfire around here. You’re not surprised, your request came out of the blue, particularly since up until now it seemed like you’ve been working fine with Dr. Kuroo.

Which…you have. Up until last week.

It isn’t that you don’t like him anymore, or that you don’t return his feelings—obviously not considering your reaction to his move on you. It’s more that you think it won’t be fair to either of you to go on pretending like nothing happened, because god knows you don’t even know if you can. Which is why it would be best if you stayed away from him, no reason to torture yourself like that. Or him.

Though, it looks like you’re just going to have to grin and bear it. No matter that you spent the entire weekend trying to stop thinking about what happened—and miserably failing. Any spare moment you had, without your permission, your brain would drift to the sensation of his hands clasped to your waist; his lips on yours, and from there you couldn’t stop imagining what would have happened had you let him continue.

That’s usually about the time you shoved your face into the nearest pillow to scream into or slapped your cheeks to bring you back to reality.

You think you can do it, act normal around him, give no inclination that anything is different. As much as you’re going to hate it, mainly because it’s going to hurt him, nobody—and you mean nobody can have any suspicions.

That is until he strides in the office door, looking more jaw-dropping than usual. You always had a hard time controlling yourself whenever he rolled up the sleeves of his button-up, but today he’s topping it off with the rare sight of his glasses and tousled hair looking notably unruly this morning. Judging from the glasses, hair, his bag practically bursting, and the numerous rolled up papers beneath his arm, it’s been a rough morning.

The dark circles under his eyes suggest it’s been a tough weekend as well.

You bite your lip, hoping it’s because of the conference and not you.

His eyes land on you almost immediately, expression giving away nothing. You are surprised that he makes his way over to you, drops his things on your desk in a huff, breathlessly explaining, “I have a meeting in like two minutes, I can’t make it back to my office in time, I’m sorry to ask you this but—,”

You go on autopilot mode, reassuring him, “I’ll handle it, just go!”

He gives you a grateful smile before jogging off to the conference room.

Truthfully, he’s glad he’s had a whirlwind of a morning, otherwise he doesn’t know how he would have approached you so normally. And he’s surprised at how receptive you were to him, he thought you’d be avoiding him, especially since you requested to switch off his project.

He frowns. He is not in the mood to think about that right now. It was bad enough being unable to focus this weekend, because if he lets himself, he’ll get consumed with thoughts of you. He’s thankfully able to think about something else during the meeting, distracted by data reports from other faculty and details about the conference. Upon the conclusion of the meeting, he’s surprised there’s no discussion about your request to transfer. As of now, all he knows is that the request has been made, there’s been no word on its verdict.

Before he can head out, he is by no means shocked when the head of the department asks him to follow him to his office. He does his best to remain as indifferent as possible as he follows him, making a point to ignore you as he passes your desk on the way to the back.

The door closes behind him, and Kuroo sets his expression straight, no need to give Dr. Takahashi any reason for suspicion.

“Are aware that your graduate student requested to be switched off your project, Dr. Kuroo?”

One of the reasons Kuroo respects his colleague so much is that he never dances around the subject, but right now he wishes he’d sound a little less accusatory with that statement.

No reason to lie here either, so Kuroo nods passively, replying with a noncommittal, “I did. Dr. Yu emailed me about it this weekend.”

He raises a brow. “Any idea why? There hasn’t seemed to be a problem all year, and with the conference coming up, it’s a bit unexpected.”

Kuroo takes a moment to consider what you might have said when probably asked a very similar question when you made the request. He’s certain you didn’t come clean about the situation, otherwise he’d be dealing with a much different person right now. “I’m sure they were looking for more to do,” Kuroo rolls his eyes good-naturedly, and judging by Takahashi’s expression he hit the nail on the head. “I can’t seem to give them enough, every time I turn around, they’re already finished and onto the task.”

Not entirely true, you do finish tasks quickly and diligently, but you’re pretty good about keeping yourself busy. He rarely has to explicitly tell you what to do next. He did when you first started, as expected, but by now you’ve gotten the flow of things and can work seamlessly with him like you’re reading his mind. Other professors are jealous and wish you were their graduate student, so he’s heard.

“Ah, well. Unfortunately, I denied the request. We’re winding down to the conference anyways, there’s not much to do anywhere. I’ll revisit it once things pick up again and see where they’re at.” He waves Kuroo out, and he almost sighs a breath of relief once the door closes until he realizes what comes next.

Facing you.

God, he’s gone over this situation over and over in his head all weekend, but now that it’s here his stomach is twisting into knots at the thought of confronting you. He wants to bring it up, thinking it would be best to talk it out, see where the other person is at, but not here. Not somewhere with the risk of someone overhearing.

He at least gives you the curtesy of approaching your desk from the front instead of behind like he usually does, as he found it amusing watching you jerk in surprise in your chair—no, even that’s too dangerous. You watch him carefully, wondering just what exactly he’s going to open with.

“Are you doing anything right now? Do you want to go over this week’s plan in my office?” He asks, unaware that the nerves coiling in your chest unravel slightly at his mundane request. It’s familiar, the two of you usually hash out the week on Monday to ensure an efficient plan, and you’re glad he started with that and not something ominous like, we need to talk.

Though there is an underlying suggestion in the seemingly simple question.

Go over the plan, in his office. A key detail that anyone else wouldn’t blink twice at.

You, on the other hand, fear an ambush. But part of you wouldn’t mind talking it out so there isn’t this air charged with anxiety that you can already feel simmering between the two of you.

“No, I was waiting for you to finish your meeting so we could go over the week.”

He smiles softly at you, and the expression that sends your heart thundering against your chest. The trek back to his office lets your nerves ramp up, making you paranoid about all of the possible things that aren’t the plan for the week he’s going to bring up once the door shuts. The closer you get, the more your mindset shifts from maybe being willing to discuss things to wanting to completely and utterly forget it, and go about your lives blissfully ignorant.

You’re glad he doesn’t take a seat behind his desk, which would have made you feel even more skittish that he’s planning on having a serious talk with you. Instead, he sinks into one of the two armchairs in the corner; a place the two of you have spent many hours in discussion over a cup of coffee in. You didn’t think it possible, but somehow that’s worse that him sitting behind his desk. This is far more…intimate.

He just looks at you, reading you so easily you hate it, saying, “I’m not going to bring it up. Not here.”

“Why not?” The words tumble from your mouth without much thought. You loathe how pathetic it makes you sound. His eyes softening only make it worse.

Choosing his next words carefully, he eyes the door behind you and lowers his voice, “Do you want to?”

He notices the flicker of your jaw. You’re contemplating something, so he just waits, despite his emotions rearing to bubble to the surface.

“I—uh…no. I’d rather not.”

You aren’t expecting the finality of those words to make your heart feel heavy in your chest. Like you’re closing a door that you’ve been wondering if it would ever open since meeting him and…it doesn’t sit right. None of this does. But you must continue on the way it is, there isn’t another choice, as much as you hate it.

You’re shocked to hear what he says next.

“Do you ever?”

Up until now, you were finding it difficult to look at him. But with those words, your attention snaps to his, getting pinned by his golden gaze. Without much thought you say softly, “I don’t know.” You wish he would wipe that stupid fucking expression off his face. It simultaneously makes you want to grab his head between your hands to kiss and slap him across the face. You have to resist the urge to do either, unfortunately.

“That’s fine,” he says, so nonchalantly you grit your teeth. He was the one to confess his feelings to you. It’s making you feel so childish how much you’re struggling with your emotions when he seems perfectly fine. Little do you know; he’s hiding his channeling his true feelings into gripping the armrests as hard as he can. At least you didn’t shut him out completely. “So,” he scratches his chin. “Your request to switch projects was declined.”

You visibly straighten. “Now that’s something I don’t want to discuss.”

He smirks, unable to resist his prevocational tendencies. “What are you afraid of?”

He watches as your fists ball, unsure if his tactic is going to work out in his favor or not. “You said we wouldn’t talk about it here!” You hiss, lowering your voice to barely a whisper.

Leaning forward in his seat and resting his elbows on his knees he proposes, “You’re right. How about tonight, The Brew at eight?”

“I am not going on a date with you! That’s the complete opposite of what we should do!” You whisper as angrily as you can muster.

“Just a humble meeting between colleagues,” he says simply. “Nothing else.”

Your eyes narrow, and he hopes with all his might you’ll agree to his request.

His heart soars as you say, “Fine. Just talking.”

“Just talking,” he nods, sincerely meaning it. You’re both adults here, and he’d like to settle this before it blows up in your faces.

He’s glad that you relax and slump into the chair beside him. “Can we talk about the week now please?” You hate how much you love the grin that lights up his face.

And as nervous as you are for tonight, you also feel a strange sense of calm about it. Relieved to get some things straight after a rather tumultuous weekend.

and now forgive me that there’s going to be a part 3 😈

part three part four

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jaehyunspeachparty · 4 years

Text

daddy jaehyun

iii.xxxiv.

"Where are we going?" Miga put on her jacket while you put on Sunohs shoes. "We're going for a little walk and Daddy is going to vote." You smile and sit up again. Sunoh took your hand and leaned against your body. "Why does Daddy vote?" Miga grins and takes her little pink backpack in which she previously put an apple in it. "I think I have everything." Jaehyun came into the room and put his ID in his jacket pocket. "It feels weird. There's a big election and I can't vote. I've always been voting." You sigh and walk out of the house with the kids. Jaehyun followed you and locked the door. "You could get Korean citizenship." He shrugged and took Miga's hand. The polling station was not far away and so you could use it to go a little round. "Hm? What do you mean?" You were relatively surprised at what he said. "Well, I just mean. You have been living here for a long time, say you only feel at home here. Your children and I, we all have Korean citizenship and you shouldn't have to worry about your visa all the time. But that's only one suggestion." It didn't matter what Jaehyun said. After all, you had never felt like at home before like here and in the house now. But somehow you had never thought of it. "Hmm, I'll think about it."

When Jaehyun finished voting, you slowly went back. You were slowed down, because now it was only a few more weeks until the birth. From now on, your doctor had said that you could always count on the twins to come. Twins are more likely to be born prematurely. But your doctor was still happy because they were quite peaceful in your stomach. The best case would be anyway that they stay inside for 40 weeks. "Slowly the babies could really come. Being pregnant is harder and harder for me." You take a deep breath as you walk up the street that had a little climb. "Hopefully in 4 weeks." Jaehyun grinned and turned to face you. "I always loved being pregnant. But the twins rob me my energy." In the moment you can already feel how they started to move wildly and kick your ribs. "I think they'll rob us of more energy when they're born." Jaehyun laughed and waited until you were with him. "Mummy, you're so slow", sighed Miga and waited for you with her father. Sunoh stayed with you all the time. His fears of loss grew worse. Especially since he started kindergarten. When you finally came to your house, you see that someone was parking in front of your house. A female figure leaned against the car and you couldn't believe who was standing there. Jaehyun looked at you in surprise. He took the children and went into the house with them, Sunoh starts to cry because he would have preferred to stay with you. You can still hear your son's screaming, but it slowly ceased as you walked up to her. "Johanna." You take a deep breath, because you hadn't counted on her. "Can we talk?" She looked at you carefully, she was nervous and her leg was bobbing all the time. "Sure, do you like a coffee? There's a bakery around the corner?" You try to smile, but couldn't imagine what she wanted from you. "Yes, that sounds good." She smiled in relief and the two of you walk slowly. "You look like you're going to pop soon." She smiled and you were relieved that you were already joking. You haven't been in contact for a long time. You didn't even know her son. "I know, and I have a month to go. But it could also start at any moment." You put your hands on your stomach and hope that at least they can hold out now. When you were in the cafe, you sat in the garden on a small table. You order an iced tea and she orders a cappucino. There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment, but then Johanna began to speak. "I know I was wrong. And I'm so sorry for being so mean to you. That was wrong and hurtful and I hope you can forgive me one day." She sighed and begins to play with her hands uncertainly. "I was just like someone else. I was at the doctor and he found that I had severe form of puerperal depression. The hormones should have made me go crazy and I've been taking antidepressants for a two weeks now." You could see that she was fighting with tears. It hurt you to see her like this. If she knew what Johnny had done? "Hey, don't worry about me, I know this is stupid. I forgive you, okay? I just hope we can be friends again." You smile and put your hand on hers. You were so relieved to have Johanna with you again. You had missed her so much because she has always been there for the past few years. "Thanks, that really means a lot to me." And now the first tear flowed down her cheek. "Can I ask you what about you and Johnny now?" You knew the question was risky, but you had to know how much you could tell. After all, you knew too much and you weren't sure if you wanted to destroy a family. "I know it..." She sighed and took a deep breath. It totally surprised you because you didn't expect that. "Johnny came to me, cried, was on his knees and kept saying how sorry he was. Well ... somehow it was my fault." She took a sip of her coffee and shrugged. "But he still shouldn't have slept with her right away. It's not your fault." "Yes I know, but I forgive him, I try at least. It brought me to reality and I suddenly realized that I need help. I want my children to have their father and I miss him. We'll do a therapy together and hope that we can make it together again." She looked deep into your eyes and you were as surprised as rational Johanna was again. Of course you are worried about her, but you were glad that she was as before. "If you need anything ... I'm always there for you." You are smiling and just were happy to have each other back again.

The whole afternoon was still beautiful. You catch up on all the news. Johanna showed the photos of her son and it was like before. Just before you wanted to go home, Jaehyun asked you to quickly buy diapers. He would then pick you up by car because he still didn't want to let you go home alone after all the incidents with Matthew. You go through the shelves and look for the diapers. When you find them, you suddenly see Soobin racing through the shelves. You got curious and watched her go. She didn't see you, but quickly took something off the shelf and didn't even notice that other packs were falling too. As quickly as possible she ran to the cash register and paid. You didn't want to spy, but her behavior was so strange that you go to the packaging. And right now it hit you like a blow, you couldn't believe what she bought. It was a pregnancy test.

daddy jaehyun masterlist

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