─「エデン」─  she may or may not be nodding off while farming in a game on her phone.

haiiii!!! so ur recent post abt how hsr characters would take it if u didnt log in for a while got me kind of thinking,,,, me personally i always log in at the most ungodly hours. 2 in the morning farming planar ornaments for jing yuan....,, i have never played hsr at a regular time. this is not a flex this is a cry for help. what do you think abt hsr characters having to rise and grind at hours that no man should be awake at ? :3 every single day ? :3

late-night game sessions

dan heng, gepard, blade, sampo, jing yuan x gn!reader

summary: you have a habit of grinding and farming and just being online at the most ungodly hours of the night. how do they react?

cw: fluff, humor, self-aware au

enyo's note: okay i absolutely loved this idea. also it's such a mood? i used to log in at the strangest hours in genshin hehe. with honkai i try to keep it normal but it was still so funny to imagine their reactions ^^ i might do a part two with the girlies !

content under the cut | masterlist

dan heng

it's been a few months since you started playing honkai star rail and nothing has changed about your habit of logging in late at night – or early in the morning. yet, dan heng has a hard time getting used to it. every time you awake him at four o'clock he gazes at you, dazed and confused, before he realizes it's that time again. "y/n, this isn't healthy for you," he mumbles every time, but he still gets up and accompanies you with no further complaints. give him a few minutes to adjust and he will be the sharp warrior he is by daylight! but as soon as you're done and log out, he'll pass out too lol.

gepard landau

he's definitely the most concerned out of everyone. and the most sleepy, too. he has a hard time waking up, and as soon as his eyes are open, they gaze at you with worry. "y/n, you should be asleep, don't you know what time it is?" he asks groggily, but he gets up regardless and readies himself to go out with you. i sincerely hope you're not at full 180 trailblaze power because this guy struggles to stay awake and provide shields, but he tries so so so hard for you and it's adorable. and he manages, just barely so, as he's super sleepy. please promise him that you'll go to sleep when you log out, or else he will remain worried.

blade

he might not show it, but you habit of skipping sleep and logging in at night to farm planar ornaments kinda worries him. he himself might not need much sleep so he isn't too bothered by having to work with you late at night, but he clearly sees the darkening bags under your eyes as you lead him through the simulated universe. but again, he doesn't really show it and silently does what you ask him to do. only when you're finished farming and are about to log out for the night, he makes you look at him. "go to sleep now, okay?" he sternly demands, but his eyes are softer than usual.

sampo koski

out of everyone, he would be the least bothered. he's practically nocturnal himself so it's not much out of the ordinary for him if you log in at three in the morning and ask him to join you on another farming trip to grind for relics and ascension materials. okay, maybe he slightly realizes that the two of you should be asleep but does he care? not really. he doesn't complain, is happy to spend time with you, and does everything you ask him to without spilling as much as a yawn or complaint. if any, he enjoys your nightly adventures!

jing yuan

well, this is an interesting combination. a sleepy general and a nocturnal being who asks him to grind at night, meaning jing yuan has to skip on his precious sleep. don't get me wrong, he doesn't complain and accompanies you without hesitation, but he isn't a night owl and it shows. he's waaay more quiet and not as smooth, yawns a lot and is pretty droswy in general. he's still a skilled warrior who clears the caverns of corrosion with ease but you can tell he is a tad bit out of it. please let him rest as soon as you're out of trailblaze power lol.

How they are in the mornings

ft: Kafka, Blade, March 7th, Dan Heng, Jing Yuan, Luocha, Seele, Bronya

Kafka

- You'd think she's a morning person, considering her job and how she has to be awake a lot. - No. She hates mornings. - She's a HUGE cuddle bug, though. - Kafka will be holding you tight and trying to drag out the morning as long as she can. - She'd much rather spend the mornings in bed with you than heading out on another adventure because of Elios Script. - She also has either herself, Blade, or Silver Wolf make you both coffee when she's finally done holding you hostage pffft. - "Mmh... Good morning, baby..." - Her voice is soft and sweet, but also partially gravelly.

Blade

- He's very cuddly. Like. Look at that man and tell me that despite his personality he isn't a cuddle bug. - He is touch starved asf. (Maybe I'm projecting, who knows?) - Blade is the typa guy to actually be really affectionate when tired, even if he isn't typically. - When he's tired, he isn't worrying about what he's supposed to say or do. - He just.. does. - "Quit squirming... it's too early for this... Let me hold you closer..." - He definitely has a very hot morning voice. - Yeah, he knows it too.

March 7th

- She is very 50/50. - Either she's up at the sunrise, waking you up to make you both hot cocoa and watch it. - Or she's dead asleep with you well past noon. - It really depends on how tiring the trailblaze mission was. - She's cuddly when she's falling asleep, but this girl moves a shit ton when she's actually asleep. - Like. A lot. - Expect to be kicked lmfao. - She'll apologise a lot afterwards tho aksjgfkjdsg - "I'm so sorry! Here, let's cuddle and watch a movie to make up for it, mk?"

Dan Heng

- He sleeps like a fucking rock. - On his back, arms either by his sides or across his chest. - Well, unless you're laying on his chest. - Then his arms are around your waist. - ..Or well, unless he's having a nightmare. - He doesn't get them very often, but they're always awful. - Memories of his past always coming back to haunt him. - It's a big relief for him to wake up with you right next to him, trying to help. - It almost completely calms him immediately. - "It's.. okay, dear. I feel much better now that you're here..."

Jing Yuan

- He is a human teddy bear, and no I do not take criticism. - He's so warm and big and just grgrgrgr - His arms are so inviting and he's so gentle with you. - Jing Yuan is the type to run his fingers through your hair to help you sleep while humming some random tune. - He wakes up early in the mornings but always waits til you're awake to move. - Then he makes you both coffee and breakfast. - God his morning voice is so gravelly and deep. - He doesn't even seem to notice the difference unless you point it out. - "Mmh.. My voice? Well I suppose it is slightly lower, haha.."

Luocha

- Smug bastard smh /affec - This fucker is the type to hold you super close on purpose. - He knows what you are. - Luocha makes the best tea in the mornings. - Gives you just the right amount of energy while both tasting good and helping you feel good. - His words, not mine. - He's quite gentle with you, however. - A hand running through your hair as he lays on his back, you spooning his side. - "Such a sweet thing.. Good morning, my dove..."

Seele

- She's a light sleeper, that's for sure. - A habit she's picked up from working with Wildfire. - That doesn't mean she doesn't know how to relax... - It just means she can't sleep well if you move in your sleep. - Not that she would say such to you, of course. - If she wakes up, she just watches you sleep before slipping off herself once more. - Seele finds it endearing, seeing you snuggle into a pillow and mumble under your breath. - She heard you say her name once in your sleep, and she wasn't able to look you in the eye for a bit. - She's just embarrassed pffft. - "Mmh.. Finally awake, sleepy head?"

Bronya

- Miss Ma'am. Why do you have a perfect sleep schedule? - She wakes up and goes to bed at the same time every single day. - She always either makes breakfast for you both or has one of the workers at her estate do so. - Bronya will wake you up gently to have breakfast together and dance to the record player in the living room. - I see her as a hopeless romantic almost. (Maybe I'm projecting idc.) - She's got a soft and light morning voice, but it's still somewhat stern. - Mom friend alert pffft. - "Good morning, dear. Time to get up.. I made breakfast."

Chap 1: Kid's are a Gift but Not Like This: Honkai Star Rails Crew’s Reaction to RenFeng/RenHeng Child

Also on AO3 where I will now update it

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50945278/chapters/128705818

Trailblazer’s Adventure with a Baby Dragon in Space

Honkai Star Rails Crew’s Reaction to RenFeng Child

Dusk! Dragon! Baby! Reader x Astral Express Found Family

“Hey so, the Loufu got us a gift as thanks for us helping them“ Welt announced as he placed a large box in the center of the room.

“What’s that big they need such a huge box?” March complained but was curious.

“Food hopefully” Stelle perked up like the raccoon dog scavenger she was deep inside.

“We should be gracious whatever it is after-“ Dan Heng started to say but was interrupted by the cry from the Package.

Welt paused to hear cries from the cardboard box

“Omg there is something alive in there!” Himeko gasped as they opened the package quickly.

They open the gift box only to see a dragon baby nestled inside a basket, tail tucked around their body and yawning cutely to rub sleep from their chibi eyes.

“Who are the parents? Welt did you do something?” Himeko narrowed her eyes at him the Dad of the group having assumed as the adult responsible for the trip. (Not registering the resident dragon being the culprit. )

“Kids take longer than our visit to a planet to be born. There must be an explanation” Welt protested and fumbled to find more context clues int he box only to lose his glasses to the baby dragon's grabby hands *C-Crack* correction now two pieces of glasses.

“Shoot I cannot see can someone get the letter?” Blind Welt called out.

March snatched the first piece of paper written by Jing Yuan in loopy handwriting and read out loud in her cheery voice with a confused tone:

“Hi Dan Fe-Heng, you left this when you left us. I would have kept her, but the preceptors said she is better off with her parents.

I was overruled T—T Take care of her well and be a good parent!

P.S They are pretty pissed so best you keep her safe on the express” - Jing Yuan’s note read,

“That lazy dozing general” cursed Dan Heng

“Wait does that mean Dan Heng has. Kid? HOW? “ March shouted in surprise.

“Oh whew, she is not mine!” breathed Welt as he fumbled to pull out spare glasses from a pocket of quantum space.

“…wait do you have kids somewhere in space that we should know about “spoke Himeko concerned looking at Welt who avoided her worried gaze.

“Are they crazy?! why would they send us kid?” surprised and annoyed Dan Feng broke out.

“Ummm according to this letter the crazy one is your past self, Dan Feng” March stated.

“Wait, what we need more context than this?!” Po, Pom protested equally confused.

“Aaand here it is,” Stelle said her trash-rummaging skills coming in handy as she fished out an official-looking letter from Fu Xuan.

Dear Former High Elder,

Officially the preceptors judged you should take her since she is your kid. The divine ominiscia also prophesied she holds the Aeon long of the permanence and she should help you face Nanook since their paths cross. So, this is their ‘gift’ to you so to speak.

It’s hard to believe but technically she is your spawn born of the high elder & the crazy abomination of abundance blade man that stormed the loufu. I attached picture of the reading from proof with help from Qin Que)

Why did you go for the crazy ones? You must be crazy yourself. Well, it’s not my problem anymore.

Sincerely, Fu Yuan Diviner of the Loufu’s Seat of Foresight

Attached was the blurry of the picture proof of the omniscient reading.

“What even is that-?” March said squinting.

“Welt quick cover the kid’s eyes” Hmeko commanded as she did so to Stelle.

“Best not to see that, “ Welt said covering March’s eyes

At this point Dan Heng would have fainted had he been a weaker dragon man but he was not.

“The preceptors are crazy. This here is too cute to be called an abomination!” Cried March as she picked up and cradled the sleepy horned child.

The child blinked bright yellow eyes like beacons boring holes into everyone present who stared equally perplexed at her.

“I thought Vidhyrdra couldn’t reproduce” Welt stated dryly as everyone's gaze turned to Dan Heng who stared holes into the rug.

“I’d have to consult my past self about that but seeing as he’s dead it’s not like I can….” carefully stated Dan Heng still in shock wondering what the hell his past self was up to.

“Then call yourself into a doctor’s Office to have your head checked cuz how could you forget a cutie like this?!” March squealed as she wagged said child in front of his face.

Bright eyes and turquoise horns staring at an eerily familiar face on a chibi body.

“She’s dead ringer for Dan Heng “noted Stelle looking at the turquoise horns, brownish hair, and teal tail on the Baby Dragon! Reader.

“I am not the dad! I don’t remember having a kid plus I cannot reproduce” burst out a deep denial Dan Heng as he sat down in shock head in hands onto the swaying train booth seats.

Another slip of paper fluttered down from the box and Pom Pom picked it up.

“Oh, one more note,” Pom Pom said cheerfully as he held up in his forepaws the slip of paper that had fallen to ground. He cutely read the death message written as such:

“If I find out you hurt her, I shall kill first you, then everyone else on the express, and then myself.”

- Jing liu (you know who I am . Don’t Deny It Dan Feng. This goes for Blade too once I find him; except in his case, I’d make him suffer eternally.)

“Who’s that?” Questioned Stelle confused.

“Who cares I’d do the same so don’t you dare try to get rid of her!” March agreed promptly cuddling the kid protectively like one of her stuffed toys. Unlike the stuffed toys she was alive and Baby reader let out mewl of shock from being squeezed to hard and was quickly rescued by Welt.

“Not too hard March or you’ll hurt her!” Welt warned as he rescued the kid from March’s possible death grip show. Like pro dad, he patted the baby on her back and burped her letting her spit up on his shirt’s shoulder without a flinch.

“How squishy,” Stelle said as she began poking the babies’ cheeks blithely unaware of the inner turmoil and chaos going on behind her in Dan Heng’s Head.

“Can we keep it please?” March begged Himeko and Welt with puppy dog eye hands clasped in front of her.

“I always wanted a pet and this one doesn’t shed, “ Stelle said thoughtfully as she nodded her head in agreement and patted the chibi child’s head who nuzzled back and chirped back affectionately.

“This is a baby, not a pet. We cannot just keep her. I’ll call the Loufu to check this isn’t some mistake and to return her immediately” Welt reasoned as he handed Himeko the baby and started rummaging for his phone.

“Hold up we cannot just return her she’s a child and technically Dan Heng’s responsibility“ protested Himeko who started rocking the baby dragon child to sleep.

“Dan Heng, what do you think since she is your kid?” Welt questioned looking over at an out-of-it- and-head-in-space seated Dan Heng.

Dan Heng muttered under his breath over and over “No. No way not my kid. How the hell did this even happen” His fingers were crossed in a steeple of deep denial and thought and his leg was jittering weirdly.

“I think Dan Heng is out of it…” worried Stelle said as waved her hand in front Dan Heng’s face who was not even registering her hand.

“ We Are The Express. Everyone. Is. Welcome!” Pom Pom stomped his foot stepping on Welt's foot making him drop his phone. The bunny proceeded to bunny hop smashing Welt's phone to pieces to make his point successfully. The crew stared cowering slightly at the fuming conductor in shock, even Dan Heng broke from his trance to blink owlishly at the bunny conductor's unexpected outburst.

“So the Baby stays” Stated Pom Pom with finality that no one could argue with after the conductor’s sudden irate outburst.

welt yang and soggy wet cat reader. pathetic old man and his much more pathetic but equally as old partner

welt yang x gn!reader

help i didn't know if you wanted a cat-like reader or like an actual cat hybrid 😭 i hope its ok

cw: reader is a cat hybrid, reader is same (or almost same) age as welt, GUYS WELT IS LIKE 80+ I JUST FOUND OUT, just fluff cuz now im scared to think of smut for someone whos 82 im sorry 😭😭, reader is always kinda sleepy cuz i think its cute

not proofread btw im tired as fukc

--

i feel like you and welt has always kind of knew each other, sure you had arguments in the past but it only brought the two of you closer.

going through the events of the past kind of fucked up everything, but it's alright because at least the two of you still have each other.

it took a pretty long while of begging and whining before he finally let you cuddle him, his hand on your head subconsciously scratching the area behind your cat ears.

your tail would wrap around his leg, keeping him close as you napped happily in his arms.

but just know he might get cramps from sitting for too long.

you were always the clingy one, the one seeking attention from the brown haired man while he had to deal with it.

of course, there were moments where you were clinging onto him wherever he went, to the point where he went on a trailblazing mission once, leaving you on the train, when you somehow found him on the planet and stuck with him until he finished the mission.

it's ok though. he still loves you.

--

it's short but all of my writings prob will be 🧍

i dont write for peepaw that much so sorry if its ooc :( i might rewrite this later

ALSO ALSO im not sure if the request was implying smut but i didnt write it cuz i

anyways if you want smut then you can ask me! i'll try again :)

BOOM—personality swap between the shepherds! how would that go down?? (i’m envisioning briony having blade’s stoic exterior or chase acting sophisticated like lavi and it’s killing me)

I wish I could draw, because I feel like this would be so much funnier with illustrations! 🤣

I used a random generator to generate the personality swaps:

Halek ↔️ Ayla

Halek is loud, mouthy, aggressive, and wants to fight you all the time. He has a bunch of pent-up rage from being forced to be leader of his people and he responded by acting as delinquent as possible, except instead of being a slacker and shirking his duties, now it's like some Hunter Guy questions his decision and he gets all up in his face and is like, "Huh? You wanna repeat that before I beat your fucking ass?" He is a surprisingly effective leader because everyone perceives him as tough and passionate. However, as a Shepherd, you can't get him to do anything unless you ask him nicely. He has no fear but also no chill... that fight with Ayla about the witch's bane soup would have gone soooo differently if he wasn't naturally quite laidback lol! His partnership with Moonsilk might be more compatible because she'd be the one to seemingly "hold him back" or calm him down... or he'd have told her to fuck off right from the get-go LMAO "I'm not marrying her! Either I'm the leader around here or I'm not, *I* pick who I'm gonna marry! Pack your shit and go!!"

Ayla is just a sleepy lil Wind-Mage. "Ayla, could you, maybe, you know, blast this demon to kingdom come?" "Hm? Oh, yeah, sure... 🥱" Everybody thinks Jalis people must be a buncha hippies because she's sooo lazy and chill. She's the force of calm in the group, the port in the storm: when Briony and Trouble start brawling with some rude assholes in a tavern, Ayla is just waiting on standby, vibing until they're done so she can clean them up and take them home. It probably makes her a vastly less effective fighter because she doesn't summon the energy and passion to send opponents flying, it's probably just a gentle puff of wind LOL

Riel ↔️ Lavinet

Honestly, I don't think they're that different, I feel like Riel is just more vain, fashionable, charismatic, and flirtatious. But their skillsets, backgrounds, and interests are still fairly similar! Still... imagine him lounging in like a flame-red tailored suit with, like, a peacock feather tucked into his breast pocket, the trailblazer of fashion for all of Haven... fanning himself idly while he flirts and flatters courtiers of all stripes shamelessly! "Darling, I realize you have reservations about our business agreement, but haven't you learned you can trust me? 🖤" Oh my god. He would be a menace. Imagine him with an ojou-sama laugh I'm dying

Lavinet is considerably less popular among the nobility because of her various eccentricities... She's neurotic, uptight, fastidious, cutting! She's no entertainer of grand balls and parties, but still a fearsome political opponent all the same... The new Iron Lady! She's known as something of a terror and will snap out a biting retort to just about anyone, whether it's people who don't show her the proper respect or someone who carelessly offset her carefully-arranged tea tray, annoying her to no end! She's known as something of an introvert and recluse and would just rather be left alone to read her books and manage her father's financial affairs. The young men of the Iron Court are so terrified of her that she doesn't even have to worry about being married off against her will LOL, they wouldn't dare to propose!

Chase ↔️ Shery

GOD THIS ONE IS SO CURSED GRLGJKRGJKL There's just no way... The thief-lord of Haven is actually a shy, mousy sweetheart... There's no way that could work, right?? Maybe he has an alter ego where he acts ruthless and cunning, and then he walks into another room and melts into a puddle on the ground like 🥹🥹 "that was so hard... I'm sweating haha...! 😭" Some rival guild leader flirts with him (dangerously) like "well, I was thinking of killing you... but now that I see you in person... I could think of other things I'd like better..." Chase internally is like nooooooo please stop this 😭 while outwardly he blushes and stammers something like "yeah uh th-that sounds like a better option than... being killed..." 🫠 Someone steals from him and Trouble finds him like crying dramatically on the ground an hour later like "why would they do that, that's so mean!!" 😭

I can only imagine Shery as this like vaguely evil, chaotic quartermaster, which doesn't make any sense lmao, her occupation requires her to be extremely orderly, organized, tidy, and on top of her business, and throwing Chase's lackadaisical, unpredictable, "I'm allergic to plans" personality at her is just crazy lol. Imagine trying to run an order when your quartermaster is actually your biggest prankster! YOU CAN'T DO IT, IT WON'T WORK. Every recruit who gets assigned a new room or handed new blankets or puts in a requisition order for a training dummy gets surprised by 8,000 fake spiders. Or a bucket of flour dumped on their head. The Order would collapse into dysfunction within a month. Not to mention the quartermaster's habit of flirting and chatting up the new recruits outrageously! 😭 On the flip side, Vivek would not have given her any shit after the first few minutes of meeting her...

Tallys ↔️ Briony

Tallys is bubbly, cheerful, energetic, and an emotional chatterbox, lol! That's so weird to picture lol imagine Trouble walking into a room and Tallys looking up brightly, her face lighting up in a big smile, and saying something like, "Hi, Trubs, I was just looking for you! The laundresses are throwing a fit because you keep getting the smell of gunpowder in your drapes--how do I know? Oh, well, you see, I'm friends with that nice silver-haired girl on Pelinel Squad, you know, the Weather-Mage, and she said--" I don't think she commands half the dignity or respect she receives now as Third this way lol because she's trying to be everyone's friend... probably the Elves of the Elven Quarter like Ashaniel and them low-key all hate her because she's such a little ball of sunshine, she probably comes off as quite immature and cutesy to them, so imagine her asking Ashaniel to trust her with Quel-Qanaeon, it'd be like asking an 80-year-old war veteran to trust someone whom he just saw getting distracted by a butterfly or something, like "Oh my god, look at the pretty flowers! :D It's such a nice day today, isn't it?" The irony of it being that she's an excellent Keeper and fearsome archer, just no one really listens to her advice or takes her seriously because she's so

Briony is this calm, composed warrior who likes to keep to her own solitude and comes off as quite mysterious and enigmatic. Everyone attributes this to her amnesia and past as a gladiator (surely she must have seen and done such dark things, but look at her resilience of spirit to stay so quiet and dignified!) and is basically looked at as some kind of like wise, martial monk-like figure whom you can always look to for sage advice. However, she comes off as a bit aloof, as she prefers to meditate at dawn by herself and gather herbs to make healing salves (she must have learned these rituals from her Elvish friend at the arena). She's far more meditative, contemplative, and serious... but if you take Tallys's cautious, "observe from a distance" ranged fighter behavior and apply it to what should be the destructive charger/bruiser who runs into the fray headlong, you get a Briony who's probably vastly less effective as the Battle-Mage tank she's supposed to be! She lacks her signature recklessness, so she's probably not punching down walls!

Mimir ↔️ Blade

GOD LOL I HATE THIS well Blade becomes even more quiet than he already is, and he has the charisma of a dead shrimp. He's always silently preoccupied with ✨ mysterious thoughts ✨, and his effectiveness as a commander drops drastically because everything he says is extremely cryptic and makes everyone go like ??? 🙂 What did that mean?? so nothing would get done LMAO instead of barking very straightforward, blunt commands as he is known to, he'd just sort of mumble something extremely enigmatic. This would drive Trouble crazy and he'd probably have to become acting commander. At first people would think the mysterious aura is part of his whole "formerly the greatest assassin" shtick, and his martial prowess and ability in combat couldn't be denied, so at first people would see this dark, unknowable swordsman and be like 'oh yeah, that makes sense why the Autarch picked him, he seems like he's... not of this world...' Very god of death, very ethereal... but then eventually people would start to get annoyed by the lack of clarity LOL and realize it's less "brooding darkness" and more "vague absent-mindedness" or something LMAO

Mimir's this traveling Seer who can not only see the future, but envision 900 different ways for her to kill you?? This makes her an incredibly effective fighter and she's always carrying dozens of weapons on her person... She's survived multiple assassination attempts because of people fearing/hating her predictions about their futures and considered her to be a heretic and a threat, so she's paranoid, abrupt, brusque, and finds it hard to get along with people. She prefers sleeping in a tent outside because she doesn't trust the others not to try and sneak into her room to try and kill her in her sleep! She comes off as a bit unpleasant, but her skills are so valuable that everyone ends up respecting her need for space...

Trouble ↔️ Red

Trouble's abilities as a sniper vastly diminish because, while he's lying on a rooftop or in the bush, waiting to snipe a target, he's sneaking secret reading sessions of his latest book and getting so engrossed that he forgets to keep track of them entirely! He's extremely enthusiastic about arcana and historical discoveries, partially because he's done so much research about magic to understand what was done to him by the Equalists: now he's the Order's resident "obscure magic" expert. Fist-fighting in taverns? No thank you, he prefers reading with a good cup of tea by his elbow. He's a polite, friendly young man who's adored by the neighborhood residents ("such a good, upstanding boy! ever since he was a young man he would come over every year to re-thatch my roof for me!") but has a bad habit of inadvertently making people fall in love with him. He would think he and Lazu Reen are good buddies and that the guy's insults are "just his way of joking around" LOL Lazu Reen: "you're a pig fucker" Trouble: "haha okay buddy, have a good day 🙂" Kind, optimistic, honest, and thoughtful... I feel like he would be sort of like Clark Kent, original good boy himbo with nerd flavor LMAO

Red is his sisters' biggest source of stress in life. Not only is he an UNAPOLOGETIC playboy, he's always going around, carousing in taverns, getting drunk, and then swinging that warhammer around and causing massive destruction!! They've tried to put a rein on his temper from a young age, but he's always been so mutinous and impulsive, sullenly taking their lectures and then immediately going back out and causing more trouble! Everyone in the Circle would have known him and Pan as the class clowns (Neon, like Hermione, was just there to make sure they didn't get killed). He certainly wouldn't have been named Archmage (I think people would have argued that Archmage Tevanti must have been senile at that point: you can't put that hammer-bashing barbarian in charge!!), but that's okay, he's mostly only interested in traveling around and experiencing his youth! Catch him smoking charch in the back and getting into arm-wrestling matches with Halek in bars for fun LOL. He probably wouldn't take any care of his hair and it would just be carelessly lopped off whenever it got too long! 😭

The Man of My Dreams - Blade x Reader (chapter 2)

Who said that the man of your dreams couldn’t be real? After having dreams of the same mystery man for 2 weeks straight, the reader sets off on a journey to find the mystery man known as “Blade” that had been occupying her mind every single night. After realizing that he might actually be a real person, and not just a man she made up, she will finally discover parts of her past that had been long forgotten and locked away. (Originally posted on AO3, which can be read here. Also posted on Wattpad, which is here.)

warnings: slow burn, slight enemies to lovers themes, fluff, HEAVY angst throughout the entire story (not kidding.), soulmates, memory loss, mutual pining, eventual smut, pwp, renheng themes

“Y/n, hello?! Are you even in there?”

Y/n was still in shock looking at the flower on her bed. She picked it up delicately, examining it to determine if it was real or not. She heard another voice, “March, let’s go. Maybe she’s on the station.”

She quickly got out of bed and opened the door, seeing her friends March 7th and Dan Heng about to walk away. March turned back around and smiled, “There you are, sleepy head! I was banging on your door for ages!” she exclaimed. Y/n let out a soft laugh, “Sorry… had a really deep dream. You kinda knocked me out of it.” Dan gave a light smile, “That’s alright. Can we come in?”

“Yeah, ‘course.” She moved to the side and let them in, “What’s up? Did I sleep through the debrief?”

“More or less…” March glanced back at Dan. He walked over towards her bed and sat down on it when he noticed something on it. Furrowing his brows, he moved to touch the flower.

Spider Lily…. huh? 

“You did end up missing the debriefing. But it kind of… got hijacked.” March sat in her desk chair, swinging her legs as she spoke. “Hold on March,” Dan interrupted. “How did you get this flower, Y/n?” Dan asked. She shrugged, leaning against her desk, “I’m not kidding when I say I woke up this morning and it was on my bed.” She didn’t feel the most comfortable explaining her dream situation, especially the weirdness of dreaming about her man disappearing into flowers and finding the same flower in real life. That doesn’t just happen…

“It just ‘appeared’?” Dan asked, skeptical. “I find that very unlikely.”

“Uhm, are we going to discuss flowers or discuss actual Trailblazing issues?” March asked, crossing her arms. Dan grumbled to himself, continuing to hold the flower close to him. He felt its familiarity, but was unsure why. “Go ahead.”

“Sooo… as you know, we’re finally able to move the Express again,” March began. “Himeko had us take a vote on where to go. We decided on it when a woman named Kafka hijacked the meeting and gave us a new type of mission. We’re heading now to the Xianzhou Luofu since a Stellaron is going to burst there soon. So that’s what you missed,” March explained with a smile at the end of it. Dan sighed, “Don’t sound so energetic. Kafka being involved is not a good thing — especially because of him,” he said bitterly. “You mean the man of your nightmares?” March giggled teasingly. “C’mon Dan, he’s in jail! There’s no harm in going back to your home planet.”

“We’re going to your home planet?” Y/n asked, intrigued now. “And who’s… ‘he?’”

“Blade,” Dan said bitterly. “An immortal man that’s been chasing after me for years. He is bad news. I tried to warn you guys not to trust Kafka, but I was outvoted by one.” he glanced over at Y/n, as if to say she would’ve been the tip-over vote. What he hadn’t expected, was her expression to fall into shock. “Blade?” she muttered. Dan looked at her with a confused gaze, “Yes? Why?”

The pair looked back over at the spider lily that rest in Dan’s hand. Suddenly, it clicked in Dan’s mind. “How did you get this flower?”

“I told you — I just woke up and it was there!” she replied fast. “But… the flowers were in my dream,” she added, feeling embarrassed about it. She was reluctant to share the full extent of her dreams with him, even though he trusted him deeply. “Spider lilies are extremely specific,” his voice was cold. “What was going on in your dream?” he pressed.

“Dan, why are you so worried? It’s just a dream,” March said, completely oblivious to the severity of it. “If it’s what I’m thinking, it’s not just a dream. It’s a vision and a dangerous one at that. Tell me everything,” Dan said firmly. She sighed heavily, “…I’ve been having dreams of a man who revealed his name to be Blade last night. This has been going on for… as long as I can remember, really, but I only just recently was actually able to see him. Before, it was just a shadowy figure. But I know what he looks like now, and his name.”

“…And he left you this,” Dan muttered. He let out a heavy sigh, scratching the back of his neck as he thought. “I guess he did,” Y/n replied, shrugging. “I don’t know what else could’ve happened. Nobody’s been in my room.”

“What was happening in the dream?” Dan then asked. Y/n was silent, knowing damn well that this was going to be unbearably uncomfortable to discuss. March took notice of her silence and started giggling. “Imagine she says they were dating.” When Y/n didn’t say anything except look away, Dan let out a scoff, “You’re kidding me. Y/n?” he huffed, “You can not be serious.”

She bit her lip, looking down. “W-we aren’t.. dating in the dreams exactly, but uhm… it’s a mutual like…?” she winced as she explained. Dan practically face-palmed. “And what does he look like?” he said annoyed. “Long dark blue hair, red tips. Pale skin… orange eyes. Always looks like he’s dressed pretty fancy... Oh yeah — he’s got this long red ribbon tied around his back. It’s pretty cute,” she starts to explain, not realizing how stupid and delusional she sounded. As far as they all knew, this “Blade” was simply a man made of her imagination. To be this giddy over someone fictional, she’d have to be insane….

Dan shook his head and set the flower down, immediately walking over to Y/n. “I need you to promise me that you won’t go looking for Blade. And that you’ll stay here on the Express with me.” She furrowed her brows, “Uh, Dan? He’s not even real. There’s no reason for me to stay on the Express when Himeko wants me to go with the others,” she replied, crossing her arms. Dan rolled his eyes, “You’re not listening to me. The Blade you described is the same Blade that is evil — the same one that has been trying to kill me for years now. And for whatever reason, he has his eyes set on you. You’re in danger — you have to trust me!” 

Y/n fell silent. If Dan was telling the truth, she felt awful for being disappointed at the idea that her dream man was an attempted murderer of her best friend. “Dan… Y/n will have to go. Himeko is not going to budge on her judgment,” March said softly, “You can go too, you’re invited as w—“

“No. You know why I won’t, and I’m disappointed that neither of you are listening to me. None of you listened to me,” Dan said sternly, getting angry. He rarely let his emotions show like this, so it was a surprise to both of the women. “Dan…” Y/n sighed heavily. “Look, I… I promise I’m not going to pursue this Blade guy. He’s… he’s just someone in my dreams. I don’t know why, but that’s it. I couldn’t betray you like that.” she rest her hand on his shoulder gently, smiling up at him. Dan looked at her hand and simply sighed, forcing a gentle smile. “You’re lucky I care about you, Y/n.”

“I’m gonna miss you on the Trailblazing trip, Dan,” March said with a pout. “I adore our little squad! Stelle will be so disappointed, too.”

“Send her my regards. For now, I’m going to do some research in my cabin,” Dan said, walking towards the door. He pauses before leaving, “Y/n — please take what I said to heart. I’m trusting you’ll do the right thing.” Y/n nodded with a smile to him, which he returned. He then left her room and made his way to his. March turned on her heel and looked at Y/n and giggled. “Dan can be so weird sometimes. Anyway! Better get packing, 'cause we’re leaving within the hour~!”

Elsewhere on the Xianzhou Luofu, a man wrongfully imprisoned for a crime he did not commit lay alone in a jail cell. He sat up from his “bed”, letting out a heavy sigh as he clutched his head, wincing. Every time had a dream, specifically, of her… he would wake up with a raging headache, as if there was something specific about seeing that woman that his brain got agitated at.

“Y/n…” he muttered to himself, looking at his bandaged hands. “So she finally has a name.” This woman, who named herself Y/n, had been a repeated character in his dreams for the last few weeks. There was something about her that he felt unexplainably drawn to. He brushed it off as his subconscious being lonely romantically, although in the back of his mind, he had a nagging thought that there was more than met his eyes with her.

He hated being alone in his thoughts. All it did was let him replay his memories, all memories of sadness and anger; pained times of his life that only served to agitate his mara-stricken body. He had been imprisoned for at least a day and a half now. The only familiar face that brought him any ounce of comfort was Y/n in his dreams now. He hadn’t seen any of his teammates or friends since he was captured by the Xianzhou Alliance, claiming he was behind the Stellaron burst that happened 2 days prior.

As he stirred in his thoughts, he heard loud thumping outside of his wall. He furrowed his brows, standing up as he walked to the bars of his jail cell. “Kafka, that better be you…” he muttered to himself. Suddenly, whispers fill his head, causing Blade to clutch his head tightly,  “Back away from the walls.” He recognized Kafka’s voice, and he backed himself against the cell bars as far as he could go. He panted heavily as Kafka released him from her Spirit Whisper, allowing him to freely think again.

He would never admit it, but he hated that she could manipulate his thoughts like that. He knew that it was to help calm down the mara within, but he didn’t appreciate her using it for other things — just like that. After a mere few seconds of moving, a large explosion broke through the wall, making an escape route for him. Through the rubble, he could make out a hologram of his teammate Silver Wolf. She was blowing a bubble with her gum, waving frantically, “Hurry up!” He let out a light chuckle as he walked through the rubble, brushing off the dust from his clothes, “Couldn’t be bothered to get off your stupid game and rescue me in person, Silver Wolf?” Blade asked her. “Just shut up and keep running North. Kafka will meet you there with a Starskiff and get you out of there,” she replied hastily.

Blade huffed in response and immediately bolted straight North, hoping to run into Kafka quickly before the guards could find any of them. After a short while of running, Blade eventually saw a figure standing up ahead, holding an umbrella over her head. He immediately knew that was her, and ran over to her. “Kafka?” He asked, coming up behind her. She turned around and smiled, “There you are, Bladie~. Welcome home. We’ve got a lot to discuss, actually…” she stepped to the side and pointed to the Starskiff, “Come take a ride with me.”

Fictober Day 17

Prompt 17:   "I never said it would be easy."

Fandom: Honkai Star Rail

Rating: PG

Warning: None

Busy as they were, simply cuddling in bed was an occurrence that didn't happen as much as Stelle would have liked. She enjoyed the feeling of Jing Yuan's arms wrapped around her, his even breaths ruffling her hair. The feeling of security his hold gave her was something she still didn't have words for but wouldn't give up for anything.

Light fingers gently traced across his bare chest, the trailblazer content to mindlessly memorize the feel of his skin and muscles as he dozed. His low chuckle caused her to look up, thought returning as she noted his sleepy eyes were open again and watching her. Despite the surprise at finding him awake after all she couldn't help but smile at him. He usually could coax those out of her simply by being himself.

"Enjoying yourself?" Jing Yuan rumbled softly, his hold on her unwavering.

"I thought you were asleep." Came the equally soft answer.

"Not yet." Another chuckle. "You do, however, easily wear me out. I should ask you to take it easy on an old man."

She shook her head slightly, the laughter sparkling in her eyes rather than making it out from her lips. "You were called the Dozing General long before I came to the Luofu."

His good natured sigh warmed the skin of her forehead before his lips replaced it. For all his military prowess, Stelle had found that he was remarkably gentle with those he cared about. Not for the first time she had to wonder why he had pursued the life of violence that he had all those centuries ago.

"Your friend March had quite the amount of questions for me before dinner tonight." He finally spoke again, lips moving against her forehead.

Stelle couldn't help the breathy giggle this time. "I heard. She just found out about Yanqing." Or rather what the boy was to the General. "She was just looking out for me."

"Yes, I know." That usual lazy smile was on his lips as he watched her. "How much did you overhear?"

"Most of it." Golden eyes met his, teasing mischief glittering in their depths. He was one of the few that got to see the extent of her playful nature behind her mask. "including the one about if you would like Yanqing to have a sibling." Honestly she thought Jing Yuan's answer of being not opposed to it was more to tease March than anything serious.

"Hmm," he hummed in contented agreement. A comfortable silence descended letting her to start to drift, fully expecting her lover to do the same. She didn't expect him to speak up again. "Have you ever considered it?"

"Considered what?" She yawned, blinking open her eyes again.

"You and I having a child together."

The brought her out of her sleepy haze, gazing into his face and trying to determine if he was teasing her as he had March. In that sleepy expression she couldn't read anything, truth or jokes. "No." Finally giving up she chose to answer him instead. "...it never crossed my mind." Why should it? She was still trying to learn to be human and her relationship with Jing Yuan was part of that experience.

His fingers trailed up her spine before pulling her a bit closer to him until she was close enough to hear his heart beat next to her ear. A reassuring sound for a woman who dealt so often in death. "Maybe one day soon you can think about it." He yawned.

A frown creased her forehead. "Jing Yuan...you know what I am." An artificial body created by the Stellaron Hunters, vessel to one of the cancers of all worlds, and chosen of two Aeons. "It could be impossible for me to get pregnant." Not to mention she didn't even know if they were compatible enough to actually produce a child even if it turned out she was capable. Could Xianzhou humans breed successfully with other short lived humans?

"It could be." He agreed affably. "It would be fun to try at least." He was definitely teasing her now. "Don't you agree?"

She sighed. "Yes." She bit her lip considering the idea a bit more. "How would it even work? You're here on the Luofu, unable to leave and I am one of the Nameless." Stelle knew she couldn't abandon the path of the Trailblazer as well as she knew her own name. "Any child would be without one parent all the time." Even as ignorant of human behavior as she sometimes was, she knew that was no life for a child.

His hold on her tightened possessively for a moment or two before it loosened enough so her ribs no longer creaked under the pressure. "I never said it would be easy, love. If it ever happens, we'll figure something out."

Stelle leaned again into his embrace with another soft sigh. "I'll think about it."

His lips met hers in one of the gentle kisses that she could never get enough of. "That's all I can ask."

It's left in a noticeable spot: a single piece of candy and a note. He had tried ( and nearly failed several times ) to keep it out of reach from others, her favorite now safely in her room. The note was short and sweet and to the point. 'Don't let anyone see this. I told them I ate it already.' ( march & dan heng )

After a much deserved evening of tricks, treats, and everything in-between, there was nothing better than a full night's rest! (then there's the after, wherein you give up candy for a weekend, decide it's too addictive, and revert back as soon as humanly possible) With a jaw-cracking yawn and a plentiful stretch, March toed her door shut with a metallic click... however, upon opening her sleepy eyes, a faint glow illuminating her bedroom broke off her yawn. Hadn't she turned off her light before leaving for the evening?

Suddenly, talks that she and the rest of the Express' occupants rang about in her head: tales of ghastly ghosts, vengeful spirits, and fuzzy towering creatures seized her still. No, something like that couldn't get on the Astral Express... could it? Determination puffed out her cheeks, and March stood resolutely with her hands upon her hips!

“Hey! If you think you can get a rise out of me, you've got another thing coming!”

A swinging glance left to right. Nothing shifted; nothing out of the ordinary. Footsteps light against the floor, March eased closer, closer to the source of the light, having to remember to look off here and there, 'lest her eyes be toast for minutes after the fact, and stood still right before it. Oh, right, look away... look down.

Huh?

When did this get here?

“Maybe if you leave farewell gifts like this... having a ghost as a roommate won't be such a bad thing, after all.”

Plucking the card from behind the treat, her twilight gaze swept over the wording... familiar wording, along with familiar penmanship. Oh.

Oh... so it wasn't a ghost.

Dan Heng had left her something? She, in truth, couldn't recall when she had mentioned such a detail, her countless sugar rushes washing over any concrete thought, but it was true: in all its glory, her favorite candy, its wrapper untouched and even full-sized! Ever since the mini variant arose, March hadn't got the chance to swipe up the originals in-between Trailblazing missions!

Perhaps it was due to the exhilaration still alive in her veins, or the slight heat this lamp gave off, but her cheeks felt awash with warmth. Picking up the treat with a grin, rather than eating it straight away, March opted for uncharacteristic patience - a treat best savored after a grueling day, or for a special occasion. After what had happened on the Xianzhou, Dan Heng had appeared dazed. Out of it, crammed up inside his room for days on end.

... But he had remembered her favorite candy and had spent the holiday alongside her.

Right at the base of her collage sat the treat, a perfect centerpiece. He would likely question her about it, should he rudely stomp into her room -- but this could remain her little secret, at least for now.

supercluster

this is my entry for @hollandsrecs 'toms birthday fanfic fest' event - go check it out!!! I know its a early but im v bored so have it now. also im acc kinda really proud of this one, any feedback would be v appreciated 🤍

the prompt was: 'you and tom are best friends and you tell him that you love him on his birthday'

summary: its toms birthday but he has a few things to get off his chest and into the night sky, y/n joins in with a bit of a revelation too

best friends -> lovers

warnings: mentions of alcohol, bit angsty but promise ends all fluffy and a shit tonne of dialogue

wc: 3.5k ishhh

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Everything got a little too wild and stuffy in the living area, Haz and Harry screaming sweet caroline, whilst Greg (Tom’s stunt man) was pouring *another* round of shots. The sweatiness and clamminess of the room meant Y/n took a moment to escape, sliding out the double doors, and closing them softly behind her to ensure no one would notice her little escape. Something about the midnight air, the slightly dewy smell of the neighbouring fields, felt like it was refreshing Y/n from the inside out. When she turned around, back facing the fancy rented house, she was slightly shocked by Tom standing in the garden. It was his birthday party after all. In all honesty, Y/n felt a bit guilty she hadn’t noticed he wasn’t in the thick of it with his brothers and castmates.

His silhouette was set against the clear night sky, the stars extra prominent this evening and the moon casting a soft glow off the left side of his face, exaggerating the natural contours of his jawline and cheekbones. Clearly, he was enraptured by the sky, staring up at it with a thoughtful look on his face.

And Y/n recognised that look instantly; she knew what he was doing.

In fact, he had taught her to do precisely the same thing. As kids, the Hollands, Y/n’s family and another two families from the local area all went camping together. It was an annual event, ‘the Kingston collective camping adventure’ as Dom had named it. Y/n couldn’t remember a year when they hadn’t gone actually - it was that much of a tradition.

One year, though, when she and Tom were about 9, her mothers’ due date coincided with the camping dates. So, sensibly, the decision had been made that Y/n and her brother would just be looked after by the Hollands - whilst her mum and dad were safely tucked up in bed at home, awaiting the arrival of her littlest brother.

Y/n, her brother Alex, and Tom were all sharing a tent, and it must’ve been at least midnight that Tom was awoken by shuffling and zipping up of the tent. He’d realised she was gone through sleepy eyes and, without a second thought, went to go find her. Sure enough, she wasn’t far away, not even 50 metres from the tent, crouched on the grass. Immediately Tom’s presence had been noticed, making Y/m quickly snivel and wipe her face.

“Are you upset?”

“Go away Tom.” The comment didn’t do a lot, though; instead, 9-year-old Tom had planted himself down next to her - his pyjamas getting wet on the moist grass floor.

“Are you missing Auntie Sarah and Uncle Mike?” In the same way that Y/n called Nikki and Dom auntie and uncle, the Holland boys mirrored the nicknames for her parents. Y/n replied with a long sigh before hiccuping, failing to control the stream of tears. Yes, he was right - this was her first night away from her parents- but she wasn't about to spill her heart out to the 'stupid boy' who had stolen one of her marshmallows that evening. Tom’s little brown eyes swelled, looking slightly terrified and out of his depth, whilst with all his 9 years of wisdom, trying to come up with an answer.

“Do you want to play football to forget about it?”

Unsurprisingly Y/n shook her head violently. Tom cursed inwardly at himself for saying the wrong thing, apparently football wasn't the answer to everything. The two children went back to silence until Tom had the metaphorical light bulb moment. “My mum told me something for when I got to sleepovers? Look!” He grabbed Y/n’s little hand, extending it upwards towards the night sky.

“No matter where you are, you’re all looking at the same stars too, right?”

Tom jumped a little before looking over his shoulder and recognising Y/n with the softest smile that grew across his face. Y/n slowly walked to his side, arms crossed over her chest to try and keep the cold at bay, joining Tom in staring up at the starry expanse.

“How do you always know?” Tom spoke in a breathy chuckle, shaking his head slightly. It was true, she did always know - but his question was somewhat irrelevant. They'd spent most their childhood together, they were as easy to read as a children’s book to each other.

“Missing home?”

“Sort of, I got my own slice of home with the boys and-and you but… pads, mum dad yeh, feel like on your birthday your always supposed to see your family.”

Although Harry, Harrison, Sam and Y/n had managed to fly out to surprise Tom on his birthday- prior commitments meant his parents and youngest brother hadn’t been able to make it. They four arrived yesterday, greeted by a very shocked and pretty emotional Tom - who had clearly been missing the sense of home somewhat. He’d been away shooting a film, then straight away launching into press for the next spiderman movie. It had been a long while since he’d been in London - half a year in fact.

This time too, he’d been away without a single family member or friend - that was another truth he’d learnt about growing up. Your friends and family, they all get lives of their own. Tom used to be a trailblazer, the first to get a job, the one everyone was super proud of. They still were, of course, but didn’t dote on him in quite the same way - everyone had their own shit to deal with. It was yet another reason Tom wasn’t welcoming his birthday as much as he usually would.

“Your parents did always spoil you rotten.”

“They spoilt you worst and you’re not technically their kid.” Y/n rolled her eyes, even if it might slightly true - muttering a ‘touche’ at the brown-haired boy next to her. Their families had always been close; naturally the adults seemed to gravitate more to the kids that weren’t their own. The ones who you could ‘give back’ at the end of the day. It just so happened Nikki and Dom had always loved having Y/n around, maybe a bit more than anyone else.

“Have you had a good birthday then? You should be in there with Greg pouring that shitty vodka down your throat.” Y/n questioned, whilst shrugging back toward the house, the dull thump of Jacob's playlist just audible. Still, both stared upwards, standing close enough that their upper arms were both pressed up against each other. She expected a jovial answer, but even from his tone, it was evident there was something up. He sounded…weary?

“I’m bloody glad you all came...don’t get me wrong, I love Z and Jacob and everyone but….”

“Shitty week?”

“Shitty birthday week of promo and press.” Tom scathed, and Y/n nodded. Even if she couldn’t understand what was so bad about press, she knew that Tom hated it passionately. And in the same way, he loved all his castmates dearly, but they hadn’t known him his whole life. They didn’t understand why he did every little thing; their values lay just that bit apart. It just wasn’t the same as being surrounded with his family - you and Harrison adopted Hollands too.

“I just feel like I’ve spent all week trapped in a room answering the most stupid, irrelevant and inconsequential questions... Everything’s just so surface level and fake and, and I-“He cut himself off, for the first time meeting Y/n’s eyes. In all honesty, Tom got a bit caught up in the stars reflecting off her piercing y/e/c eyes before changing tack.

“Will you do me a favour?”

This wasn’t spoken with the normal Tom tone. It wasn’t joking or jovial; it wasn’t an ‘off the tongue’ thing. This was spoken with such seriousness and gravitas coming from his deep voice that Y/n replied equally truthfully.

“Always T, you know that.”

“Will you please ask me a personal and serious and deep question?”

She got where he was coming from too.

Clearly, even though the evening was supposed to be a light piss up in celebration, it had instead unearthed some darker thoughts that Tom had been harbouring away. Perhaps he never even realised he needed such seriousness, or perhaps with his castmates he hadn’t felt comfortable exposing himself like that. Either way, Y/n was going to respect him now. It was technically his birthday, too; the clocks had already struck 12 - it was now his day.

It wasn’t tricky to think of one; she’d often wondered the same question of him - never with the opportunity to ask. The question popped into her head again, almost as soon as Tom asked for one.

“Okay…. What’s your deepest regret that makes you feel guilty for feeling because in the grand scheme of things, it minor? Like such a 'first world problem'." What do you regret that’s just completely selfish?”

Tom immediately stiffened, his jaw tensing as he worked through his thoughts in his head. Scared she’d pushed it too far, Y/n averted her gaze back to the sky, chewing her bottom lip slightly. It took a moment, but then she saw Tom turn towards her, in the peripheries of her vision. With a tightly closed-lip smirk on his face he joked “If your gonna ask questions like that, we better sit down.”

And so they did, both sitting crossed legged on the ground, knees brushing against each other. Just on the grass lawn, almost mirroring themselves all those years ago as kids in that camping site. Y/n wondered if she should offer to play football instead - to cheer him up.

“Missing out. I miss out months at a time. Miss out on seeing mum and dad, miss out on the pub quizzes with the boys, miss out seeing you… I mean, I didn’t even know you had a new job until you mentioned it this morning. I miss out on time with nana Tess and all my grandparents, and that’s scary cos… well, every time I go, it could be the last time… I don’t know, I just… I get so much, get to travel, to see the world, but… sometimes it feels like I’m sacrificing the foundations. And without the foundations….”

“The walls come crumbling down.” Y/n finished off his sentence quietly, barely whispering the words - but from Tom’s nod of agreement, it seemed like she’d hit the nail on the head. There was silence for a beat till Y/n whispered to him.

“Well, happy birthday to you” Trying to bring the mood up a little, she bumped his shoulder, and Tom chuckled breathily.

“Seriously! This is helping me out. I-I just need to get everything out and start my 25th year fresh.”

“Hey, if that’s all you want, I’m getting a refund on my present- we can just get deep and interview each other.”

“I’m game, except I’m keeping the present too.”

“Just because it’s your birthday and I’m a bit tipsy, I’ll allow it.”

“Okay, well then, Y/n L/n”, He spoke formally, leaning in closer and making her giggle a little. “What’s your biggest regret?”

“Honestly?” Tom just repeated her in reply, but this time it was a statement.

"Honestly."

He really was going deep too. No holding back now. Y/n sucked on her cheek before replying. “Not travelling with you when we were 19… I was just so determined to get to uni and start grown-up life, but… well, grown-up life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I should’ve tried to stay a kid longer, messing about on your film sets and pretending it was work. I think I would’ve learnt more from seeing the world with you.”

“Well, I am very knowledgable.”

“Shut up, you drop out- who didn't know what a drag race was.” She wasn’t wrong, and whilst yes, he had dropped out to be a film star - he was still a dropout. (with exceptionally poor knowledge of RuPaul) He scowled, then leaning back on his hands, so he was half reclined on the grass as Y/n thought of her next question.

“Whats your biggest worry?”

“Easy.” He chuffed, making Y/n furrow her brows at him. Clearly, he’d already thought of this. “That I finally settle down with the love of my life, and then the fans or press or paps ruin it.”

It made sense; every time Tom had gone public with a relationship, it had ended in a minor car crash. Typically it was also the girl who got hurt; she was the ‘victim’ in everything. Though Y/n had seen first hand the effect it had had on Tom - he never made it out damage-free.

“You make it sound like you’ve already got this dream girl queued and waiting.”

“I wish”, Tom sighed, as Y/n took the opportunity to completely lie down on the grass, staring up at the dark abyss. She’d always loved the stars and had become a bit of a geek on them as they’d grown up too- and maybe it was all down to Tom on that camping trip. Following suit, Tom copied her, his head resting on his hands that were crossed behind his head, taking in the moment of pure peace as they lay on the grass.

“You see that bright one there?” Pointing up, Y/n shimmied closer to him so that he definitely saw the same thing as her. “It’s actually not one. Look closer.” Humming, Tom shifted a bit closer, so her shoulder slotted under the side of his body just the teeniest bit. It meant he could follow her direction and squinted up at the little patch of the sky.

“ 5…maybe 6? What is it?”

“The pliedes supercluster…. basically a big group of stars that all were born from the same place- the same stellar nursery.”

“But they’re moving now?” She hummed in confirmation to his question, briefly glancing at the way his eyes were fixed on the sky. For the first time he seemed genuinely interested in hearing her stories of the stars. It usually was an eye roll and ‘you’re so lame’.

“They’re called the sibling stars… like everything in life, as they get older they drift apart but…. but to us down here? They’ll always be associated together because they have a gravitational effect on each other. They’ll always have their thing tying them together. Like an invisible string.”

“Sounds like you’re being metaphorical.” Tom chuckled, expecting a taunt back but receiving nothing except a gentle agreement.

“Theres also actually 7. The last one people can only sometimes see… it’s a pulsing star, so comes and goes.”

“They do that?”

“Yeh, and no matter what… if you can see it or not, it’s always there. Always having an impact on its family.”

Biting his lower lip slightly, Tom repositioned his head slightly, Y/n’s words taking time to be fully absorbed. He was sure she was making parallels to him. Barely there, appearing and disappearing, but always a part of the family.

“You are being metaphorical.”

“Maybe.” She whispered shortly. “Metaphors depend on who’s listening and if they draw parallels to their own life. It’s subjective. You can’t tell anyone what is and isn’t metaphor…. it takes the beauty out of it.”

“Right, sure... But if you were…. me, harry, Sam, pads, you, Haz, Tuwaine? That the 7?” Y/n held back the little smile at his words. Tom wasn’t as ‘head in the clouds’ as she was- he was literal. Also, he was bloody stubborn when he wanted to be.

“I wasn’t being metaphorical T.” He knew she was lying. She knew that he knew. But it still helped him, made him feel a bit better. That he was always, in some way, having some effect... lives always intertwined with the people he cared about the most.

“Tell me another story about another star.”

Time for the rest of the night kind of got lost. The two young adults just lay on the grass, entirely in their own little world, using each others body heat to keep themselves warm through the early hours. Neither felt remotely tired, Y/n whispering her little stories of both the myths and science of the old stars, pointing out each planet. Meanwhile, Tom listened in awe, for once not taking the mick out of her incredibly geeky hobby. Instead, he found himself getting fascinated by all the little intricacies Y/n was so passionate about.

It was only when the stars began to fade, as orangey-red hue started to seep up from the horizon the either noticed the time. It was now the morning of the next day, the house long since had turned silent behind them - presumably, everyone finally passing out shit faced.

As the stars’ light was overtaken by the rising sun, Y/n ran out of stories; the two settled into silence - neither quite ready to go to bed yet.

“It’s still my turn,” Tom spoke into the sky before pivoting his head to look Y/n in the eye, seeing the confusion in her furrowed brows. “It’s my question to ask. My turn.”

“Aren’t you sick of my voice yet?” There was absolutely no reason that they were both whispering. It wasn’t like anyone was trying to listen or that they’d disturb anyone else my talking normally. But it was nicer that way. It felt calming... intimate even.

“One more. And then you get one more… and then we really should probably go to bed.” He didn’t want the night to end; he was immensely enjoying this weird grey time between being 25 and 26. But it was cold, Tom could tell Y/n had started to feel it a little more. To be fair, she was only in a floral day dress, not much in the way of warmth. With a hum of agreement, Y/n smiled lightly at him, urging his question.

“Whats the biggest secret you’ve kept from me?”

With a bit of a scoff, Y/n sighed and closed her eyes, trying to draw some strength she wasn’t sure she had. It wasn’t like she needed to wrack her brains to come up with it - she knew instantly. Almost painfully too.

“Uhm, honestly?” Now even more intrigued, Tom nodded, using his foot for nudge hers - encouraging her to speak. “Probably how much you mean to me.”

“Oh” He couldn’t help it; the sound just slipped out his mouth without checking with his brain first. That answer had just been so unexpected. He had honestly been thinking that it would be something about how ‘fame had changed him’. After hearing that, Y/n turned her head up the sky again, feeling like her cheeks were on fire with embarrassed heat. Tom knew he had fucked up.

“No, I… I didn’t mean- just just ask me too.” With a sigh, Y/n waved off his stumbled answer as he tried to cover himself.

“This is stup-“

“Ask me!” For the first time in 5 hours, Tom spoke at an normal volume - but it felt painfully loud, like a shout.

“What’s the biggest secret you kept from me?” Her tone was defeated, but nevertheless, he answered.

“How upset I was when you didn’t come when we were 19. I got why, but it was still annoying. Felt like you were picking uni friends over me-“ At this point on any other evening, Y/n would have interjected and argued. None of this situation was normal, though, so she chose to hear him out. “- I know it’s stupid, but…. I guess that’s how much you meant an-and still mean to me too.”

There was silence for a couple minutes, waiting whilst the sun started to peep over the horizon, the lone witness to an otherwise very private conversation. That was until Y/n barely spoke, more like mouthed 2 simple words.

“I lied.” The intensity of the way Tom stared at her made Y/n wish that the sun hadn’t been so bright, that they were back in the darkness that hid her face more. “Biggest lie I’ve told you … that I’m not in love with you.”

Y/n didn’t see because she couldn’t face looking at him, but Tom’s face erupted into the most prominent, toothiest smile. Whilst Tom was enjoying the moment of being absolutely ecstatic, Y/n was waiting for a response- feeling her world come crashing in. That she'd just destroyed one of the most important friendships in her life too.

But then he said the opposite of what she thought he would.

“I lied too.”

That had her attention, whipping her head toward him as Tom rolled onto his side on the lawn, balancing with his head resting on one hand. “I lied that I’ve not been completely under your spell since we were kids at that campsite, and you were homesick.”

Y/n’s heart was literally in her mouth, brain overwhelmed but one overriding thought oh so bloody clear.

She’d lost control of everything, arching up to mirror Tom. Using one hand, she reached out to cup Tom’s jaw, to which he instinctively leant toward - until their lips were mere centimetres apart, hot breath fanning over each other.

Y/n no control as she whispered those 3 words against his lips. No control at how immediately after he pressed his to hers; no control as Tom guided her to roll on top of him, knees either side of his torso as his strong arms wrapped around her back.

Once again, time was lost between the two, only pulling apart when their lungs burned for oxygen.

“For the record, I love you too.” Grinning from ear to ear, Tom used one hand to gently stroke his thumb across her cheek, switching his focus from her left to right eye - in wonder at how the early morning sun reflected from her y/e/c irises. He’d always thought she was beyond beautiful, but when she was this close to him, with the sun rising behind her in such a way - she looked damn ethereal.

“Happy birthday T.” Nodding in agreement, Tom chuckled before finding her lips once again, whispering against them.

“Yeh, happy damn birthday to me.”

~~~~let me know what you think ;) ~~~~~

tagging: @hallecarey1 @hollandfanficlove @crossyourpeter

January Forecast for Aquarius

Ease your way into 2019, as gently as you can. The calendar’s turn is always a little weird for you, because the Sun is in Capricorn and your sleepy twelfth house until the third week of January. Going straight from celebration to hibernation is what your system naturally wants to do. But this go-round, that might not be so easy. With two eclipses jolting you into action on January 5 and 21, there are important moves to make…and you don’t want to snooze through those!

On January 5, your twelfth house of closure is activated by a partial solar (new moon) eclipse in Capricorn, which could shut one door firmly so you can open another. What part of your identity or your past no longer serves you, Aquarius? Let it go so you can make way for the new. With structured Saturn traveling close to the Sun for the first week of the year (making an exact meetup on January 2), you may boldly shed an outworn part of your identity or life. Your father or a significant male might factor into events at this eclipse. You may also establish a new relationship with a mentor figure or be trained by a helpful person who’s a seasoned veteran of your industry. Artists and healers could gain unexpected recognition at the solar eclipse, or you might decide to commit yourself to mastering your craft in 2019.

On January 11, the mystical side of this eclipse could reveal itself, when the Sun makes its annual conjunction (meetup) with transformational Pluto in Capricorn. You may feel called to do some deep forgiveness work, especially if you’ve been clinging to resentment or projecting your past pain onto someone you care about. This Sun-Pluto meetup could bring a psychic moment, perhaps through a dream or a session with a healer. If you’ve ever wanted to try a past-life regression or work with a medium, you may get a serendipitous sign from a departed loved one now. Some profound puzzle pieces can come together in the first two weeks of the year, but you’ll have to be receptive to intuitive flashes and “messages” from your subconscious. Journaling, meditation or sound healing could open the channels.

Amid all this right-brained activity, your logical left brain will also have a heyday in January. Your co-ruler Uranus will rocket out of a five-month retrograde on January 6, powering forward in Aries and your third house of communication. Your trailblazing ideas (and possibly your shockingly authentic commentary) will be back on the fast track again. With assertive Mars also in Aries from January 1 to February 14, your feistiness could reach epic levels. Be careful not to get TOO in people’s faces about stuff, Aquarius, even if you’re valiantly defending your creative freedom or beliefs.

Still, it’s important to nail down your messaging now because on March 6, Uranus will depart Aries, not to return again in your lifetime. You’ve got two more months to put yourself out there in a bold and original way. Writing, teaching, social media and communication-based projects get a special boost. With Mars and Uranus in your third house of community, you might suddenly pick up and move to a new neighborhood or take on an unexpected role in a local project. Your inner social-justice warrior could be fired up now, and this is the perfect year to collaborate with like-minded people around a world-bettering cause.

But before you go splashing truth serum on the world or blasting out an opinion you can’t un-Tweet, make sure your thinking is clear. On January 13, the first of this year’s three challenging squares forms between outspoken Jupiter and hazy Neptune, which can lead to confusion and mixed messages. Jupiter is in your eleventh house of groups while Neptune is in your second house of money and security. This could bring anything from a confidence shake-up to disruptive drama in your social circle. Who are your real friends, and who’s just hanging around because they want something from you?

You may start to notice that a certain friendship has become one-sided or codependent, especially with needy Neptune in the mix. Perhaps there’s someone whose ego always needs a boost or who expects you to pick up the pieces (and the tab) when they make a mess out of their lives. Are you relying too heavily on others for validation or to boost your own status? With Jupiter in your technology house, you might need to take a social media break, especially if you’ve gotten overly concerned with counting “likes” at the expense of connection. Jupiter and Neptune will form two more exact squares on June 16 and September 21, but you’ll feel their tension throughout the year.

You’ll be ready to focus on numero uno again starting January 20, when the Sun swings into Aquarius for a month, kicking off your birthday season. Hibernation: interrupted! Those sluggish vibes that started the year will soon be a thing of the past. Unclear about your direction for 2019? The fog lifts, and you’ll radar in on what YOU want to accomplish this year. Any adventures topping your bucket list? Enlist a couple of trustworthy wingpeople and make those into a reality.

Your closest ties come under major scrutiny on January 21, when a Leo full supermoon and total lunar eclipse blaze into your seventh house of committed partnerships. From romance to finance to friendship, this eclipse will shake up the status quo. A budding connection could move swiftly into official status—or end abruptly. Or you could have an epiphany about what you’re willing to accept from a relationship or how to make your bottom line your top priority. If finding love is on your 2019 resolution list, this eclipse will bring a no-BS realization about how you might be blocking that…or what your savviest next steps should be.

This is the grand finale in a two-year series of eclipses that’s lit up the Leo-Aquarius axis since February 2017, transforming your personal identity as well as your approach to commitment. You’ve gotten so much clearer about who you are and what you stand for, since every six months an eclipse would nearly force you to assert yourself or step into the spotlight. Your interpersonal dynamics have naturally shifted, and as a result there could have been a reshuffling on Team Aquarius. You won’t experience eclipses here again until 2026, so use this powerful portal to make sure your relationships are on solid ground.

Once again, you may have to put on some filters before you clear the air, though. Also on January 21, intense Mars in your communication house locks into an embattled square with rigid Saturn in your twelfth house of closure. Even if you need to set a firm boundary or let someone know that you’re upset, watch your tone: This cosmic clash can either make you overly aggressive or the host of an epic pity party. Instead of hurling accusations or playing the blame game, try to begin any statement with “I feel” rather than “You.”

Or just wait a couple days until January 25, when Mars will form a harmonizing trine with authentic Jupiter, helping you serve up the #realtalk with love and generosity. The blissful union of these courageous planets will activate your interpersonal sectors, helping you step into other people’s shoes and listen with much more acceptance. It’s an amazing day to branch out and network, sparking up new dialogues and friendships.

Redirect your attention if you’re angry. Who knows? That person or issue that seemed SO infuriating a few days ago may now become comedic fodder. Your tale of woe could be a story so outrageous it sends you and a rapt audience into side-splitting hysterics when you reenact it. Laughter is truly the best medicine, and you might enjoy a hearty dose of it as the month ends.

Love & Romance

Witty banter and stimulating conversations are your most effective aphrodisiacs this month as lusty Mars blazes through Aries and your mental, expressive third house until February 14. This can have the effect of drawing people to you like moths to a tiki flame. If you’re looking for romance—or just some fun, flirty times—this is one exciting transit!

But if you’re coupled up, or just not feeling it, you may want to lay a little low because you WILL be found! You might be attracted to a brainy geek or wordsmith; “boring” is not going to cut it for you! With aggro Mars heating up your communication corner, watch for a tendency to be a bit argumentative or sarcastic. If you’re in a relationship, don’t take your beloved for granted or make the rookie error of dumping your stuff on them. It will NOT be appreciated!

The first week of January, when fellow lovebird Venus is flitting through Scorpio and your prominent tenth house, you might be stuck on being “right” or hammering home a point at the expense of getting along. Try to catch yourself in action and nip that behavior in the bud before it spins out of control and you foster resentment. On the upside, this is a great transit for talking about shared future plans and maybe launching a sideline business together. Single? You could be drawn to someone older or more established than you.

Then, from January 7 to February 3, Venus will sweep through Sagittarius and your eleventh house of socializing and technology. If you’re not attached at the hip, you’ll prefer to keep your interpersonal interactions on the light-and-breezy side and put off getting into anything too serious. Since this zone rules your digital life, this is a particularly good time for online dating. But focus on the fun and adventure of it, not the “end zone.”

January brings a pair of romantic red-letter days, so watch for them. On January 18, and Venus and Mars align in a harmonious trine that could set the stage for meeting someone through mutual friends or a dating site—which could catch you totally off-guard! On January 22, Venus makes her once-a-year merger with fellow “benefic” Jupiter. You might spark a new connection with a person from another culture, who lives in another time zone or works remotely from various location. But if the chemistry (and other qualities) are there, you won’t mind. Couples could travel together, perhaps with mutual friends. Rally your favorite people and book a ski lodge chalet or a cool Airbnb rental.

Love Days: 17, 21 Money Days: 27, 10 Luck Days: 25, 7 Off Days: 19, 23, 5

Who is Thom Galt?

Radiohead- In Rainbows 2007 (32nd of Top 100)

It’s funny how a subgroup takes an already-menial fragment of culture and erects its own tenets. Pavement fandom, for instance, is on the margins, but inside the rock intelligentsia, the band has two accepted masterpieces (Slanted and Enchanted and Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain); yet there’s been a groundswell in the last decade or so to say you know, Wowee Zowee is actually their best work. Animal Collective, in honor of a 10-year-anniversary, had some extolling pieces written this year about their magnum opus, Merriweather Post Pavilion, but die-hards prefer Sung Tongs or Feels. Similarly, the Radiohead community seems to have dismantled the established twin gold standards of OK Computer and Kid A in favor of In Rainbows.

A part of that may steam from the disparity of The Establishment favoring context and cultural narrative, while the community cuts through the bullshit to find the best songs. OK Computer and Kid A had their respective myths built for them (the moment when solipsistic art rock became commercially viable; the moment when that same band rejected that trailblazing notion, alongside the supposed last-gasp of The Album in the wake of Napster). In Rainbows, in many ways followed suit, albeit of the band’s own making, as Radiohead helped pioneer self-released, name-your-price digital delivery method. Perhaps because that model was fairly brief, as streaming subscriptions and their algorithms became dominant (for more mythmaking, see also the comically myopic “newspaper album” that is The King of Limbs). If OK Computer is eternally a sonic alternative rock landmark, and Kid A is the signpost for intrepid career U-turn, In Rainbows gets left behind when name-your-price is draconian compared to the $9.99 Spotify everything.

Still, to the band’s community, late ‘90s sonic upheavals, new-century influence, and Napster are too-worn talking points when the community’s thesis is which songs are best. Hence the chic pick nowadays is to say In Rainbows. Of course, I’ve already played contrarian, to both The Establishment and, likely, the said community, by asserting Amnesiac is definitively Radiohead’s best work (and my former all-time favorite album; still third). But even devaluing a band’s narrative and social context, as I’m want to do, I still think, on balance, the twin purported masterpieces rate a little higher than In Rainbows, though even I have my days where it’s fluid. And regardless of these inconsequential squabbles, there’s little question of In Rainbows as one of this young century’s greatest records.

While everything about In Rainbows is resolutely Radiohead, it does mark something of a subtle departure for them. Consider that coming without the fanfare, Amnesiac expertly blended their jagged, claustrophobic rock with isolating electronics (and unfortunately, Hail to the Thief came off as a bloated, uneven imitator). With In Rainbows, the band found a way of faithfully representing this hybrid DNA in fresh, more buoyant ways. Despite comparable running times, In Rainbows feels like Radiohead’s leanest work, as the songs are open and breathe in a way divergent from the panicky restlessness they’d so well done previously. Distortion and crunchy riffs get traded in for clean, Sunday morning arpeggios (so much so that they seem to meta-name “Weird Fishes/Arpeggi” after it); industrial mechanizations get replaced with billowy strings and hovering atmospherics.

That’s not to say In Rainbows is a bright springtime record—the stretch from “Nude” to “All I Need” is as sonically sobering as they’ve been, while “Videotape” is the bleakest song they’ve ever recorded. In fact, even apart from its dour soundscape, their 2007 record seems to have perfectly captured delusion, taking the character in “Karma Police” to its logical conclusion; whereas the “Karma Police” narrator is deliberately played as a product of manipulation (“Phew, for a minute there / I lost myself”), it’s not even safe to say Thom Yorke is playing a character. “Videotape,” for instance, is the most beautiful, yet heartbreaking kind of cognitive dissonance, in what could easily been seen as a suicide note: “This is my way of saying goodbye / Because I can't do it face to face…No matter what happens now / You shouldn't be afraid / Because I know today has been / The most perfect day I've ever seen.” “All I Need,” meanwhile, is equally played straight, as Yorke delicately and sincerely sings a love song, except he’s comparing himself to a “moth / Who just wants to share your light…I only stick with you / Because there are no others.” Like an insect or “an animal / Trapped in your hot car,” the feeling is genuine, even if it’s unhealthy. On “Weird Fishes/Arpeggi,” Thom insists he’d be “crazy not to follow…where you lead” but it’s merely a “way out,” even if it means following to the “edge / Of the earth…And fall off.”

The sonic choices faithfully score York’s being unencumbered, however deluded, with fuzzed-out, solitary bass plucks of “All I Need” leading one of the band’s most spare choruses, before piano and strings swell into a lovely power ballad (a dutiful ode to someone/thing, no matter its degrading qualities). The breeziness of the shaker and Red Hot Chili Peppers-esque arpeggio guitar (for better or worse, though it’s a lovely riff) in “Reckoner” threatens to blow away if not for Yorke’s ultra-silky falsetto, followed by piano, strings, and subdued bass line managing to ground the song, ultimately making it the heart of the album (even if it’s not the album’s best song, it’s a worthy candidate).

Conversely, Radiohead has a bad habit of putting head-scratching, out-of-place songs on its albums (“Electioneering”; “Optimistic”). “15 Step” never quite seems in league with those missteps, maybe in part because it’s unburdened as the opener, and maybe simply because it’s really good; it’s muscular, yet economical, with Yorke nailing a charged hook: “How come I end up where I started?” And apart from the comparatively jarring aggro-Aphex Twin breakbeat (especially as it’s the only song with drum machine-based percussion) and stormy atmosphere anchoring the song, the melody and its flourish still has a HSN-ready arpeggio and a repeated snippet of children cheering, both of which do hint at the core sound of In Rainbows—something naïve, carefree.

After the jagged, Hail to the Thief-seeming “Bodysnatchers,” In Rainbows settles into being the best possible version of Red Hot Chili Peppers singles if they were both ondes Martenot-forward and Ayn Rand scholars. It’s even likely those two songs give the album the muscle it needs to keep from evaporating into the sleepiness that doomed The King of Limbs. In fact, In Rainbows does err a couple of times with “Faust Arp” (among Yorke’s least compelling performances, as he fails to meet the music’s heightened airs) and “House of Cards” dozing off, the latter with the unique distinction of joining “Electioneering” and “Optimistic” as conspicuous black marks while still being completely on-brand for the album in question. If “Electioneering” and “Optimistic” are unnecessary throwbacks to a rock period they sonically outgrew, then the longest song on In Rainbows is doubly a drag, with a lifeless hook underscoring Yorke’s overproduced vocals (“Forget about your house of cards / And I’ll do mine”), even as its clean arpeggio saunters around a thoughtful string arrangement, not unlike the vastly superior “Reckoner.”

I’ve argued that sequencing redeems In Rainbows, as “House of Cards” being the penultimate song quickly would sink this album closer to the hit-and-miss Hail to the Thief. Instead, the record concludes with its two best songs, “Jigsaw Falling into Place” and “Videotape.” The fingerpicked acoustic riff and Phil Selway’s racing drums chase each other on “Jigsaw,” as York offers a stunning performance—first speak-singing right in your ear before wonderfully opening up on the second “The beat goes round and round.” Interestingly, Yorke plainly sets a will-they-won’t-they in a club, which feels so apart from the edge-of-the-world, lambs-to-slaughter pathos he commonly evokes. Most successfully, the infectious energy of the song makes it feel like the congenial successor to “Idioteque.”

Moreover, In Rainbows is Yorke’s most immediate and beautiful performance. No song here is garbling or digitizing his voice; in fact, the worst song is the one oversaturating his voice in echo effect. Yorke’s elegant register is the connective tissue to so many of these songs, like the stellar “Nude,” when he snakes alongside Colin Greenwood’s sultry bass line before delivering an enshrined vocal take on par with the end of “Life in a Glasshouse” and “It’s gonna be a glorious day” from “Lucky”: “You’ll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking.” You don’t realize how much Yorke relies on his angel hair falsetto during the album until he pulls you aside to talk to you during the opening verse of “Jigsaw”; and then, in one of his most intimate performances, Yorke sings right into your ear on “Videotape,” so much so that you can hear the P-sound popping in the mic when he says “pearly gates.” With no “Fitter Happier,” no instrumentals, no digitized dystopia, it’s fitting that In Rainbows is the band’s warmest album to date.

That’s not to discount Radiohead at their most paranoid and icy; the satellite-beamed anxiety of OK Computer can still be more thrilling (and equally contemplative); Kid A (mostly) feels exotic, as if from some dystopian planet; Amnesiac is equally mysterious, except its predecessor’s interstellar relay gets subsumed by a technocratic Dante’s Inferno. The allusions here aren’t nearly as arresting—an Atlas Shrugged-versed Chili Peppers is comparatively tame—but In Rainbows is the most direct, distilled version of what makes Radiohead great. It’s also the album that finds the oft-cagey and anarchist songwriting recalling some faux-peace, as if coasting off laudanum drips, thus making the record’s narrative point of view the band’s most nuanced. And when projecting to Radiohead’s aforementioned community, perhaps grassroots support for In Rainbows is simply due to it’s being the band’s most “chill” album to put on while hitting a bowl.

When reviewing the album, Pitchfork had a joke of name-your-own-score. But I bypassed that contrivance by snagging an In Rainbowstorrent. I listened to my music the way I always had. And while a fickle and temperamental culture quickly buried In Rainbows’ meta-narrative, it’s reassuring to know there’s still a niche community more interested in textual greatness than contextual machinations.

All About Kalpana Chawla, Why She Is Best Astronaut

Kalpana Chawla Death Reason

Kalpana Chawla,  died on February 1, 2003, in an accident in the space shuttle Columbia somewhat over Texa, United Status, while approaching to earth, in an accident.

It is just after 9 a.m. at Cape Canaveral. At the Command Center in Houston, the first wave of panic takes over. Kalpana Chawla Husband - Jean Pierre-JP,  response to their last message from mission control had been aborted midway. All communication with Columbia got disconnected. However, it is a routine when a spaceship re-enters the earth's atmosphere. Jean Pierre-JP to those who know him—to is aware that this is commonplace. However, successive calls go unanswered. At about the two-minute mark, before touchdown, JP does not hear the expected double sonic booms of the shuttle overhead. As the minute pass, the silence becomes deafening. For the first time, the ground crew feels that something has gone wrong. On television screens across the world, the white streak has turned to a series of white spots in the sky. At this moment speculative ideas began to trade-in media about Kalpana Chawla death reason. The first fearful questions have begun doing the rounds; phones are ringing all over the world and what can be the Kalpana Chawla Death Reason. At the landing site, officials with cellphones glued to their ears are exiting the viewing area. The worst is feared. The world does not have to wait until the official word is out. Columbia has blown up, and its debris is raining down on the southern states of Louisiana, Texas, and Arkansas. It is darkness at noon. At the Kennedy Space Center, workers hunch over their terminals in complete shock, while at the same time, family members of the crew are being herded together at Cape Canaveral. Shuttle contingency is declared. In the Houston home of Kalpana, her family stares in disbelief at the television screen. Monty won't be coming home. And, in her hometown, the party for the schoolchildren is over. Instead, the stunned inmates of Tagore Bal Niketan join one billion countrymen in mourning their brightest star. An abrupt end to a space journey for six other brave astronauts too. But in her wake, forty-one-year-old Kalpana leaves behind many unanswered questions. What made it possible for this petite girl from Karnal to successfully undertake such an incredible journey that spanned not only continents but also cultures and finally ended in space? Unlike what many others would have done, Kalpana had chosen to come out of the comfortable cocoon of a well-to-do family, preferring instead to explore the world, taking the challenges as they came. Overcoming a host of prejudices, this five-foot-tall, slightly built girl, armed with only her radiant smile and fierce determination, had managed to realize her dream. Therein lies one of the most compelling stories of our times, one that begins in a house in downtown Karnal in 1961.

Kalpana Chawla Family Details

Father: Banarasi Lal Chawla Mother: Sanjyoti. In 1961, the household of Banarasi Lal Chawla, in Karnal, was expecting the arrival of a baby. By the persistent kicking in the stomach, Sanjyoti, going by midwife tales, felt that it was probably going to be a boy—she already had two daughters and a son. But lo and behold, the fourth member born to Banarasi Lal and Sanjyoti Chawla turned out to be a very energetic baby girl. It wouldn't be the last time that Kalpana would surprise her parents. The Chawla household had only recently moved to Karnal. Banarasi Lal, like thousands of others in the wake of the Partition riots, had trekked across from Pakistan, with precious little of his own. Only those with grit eventually made it and, more importantly, we're able to put the bloodshed behind them and move on with their lives. For Banarasi Lal, then a teenager, and his family, the first stop after leaving Gujranwala in Pakistan was Ludhiana. As refugees, they had to begin from scratch, and Chawla senior, along with other members of the family, started on a host of businesses, including selling wares as a street hawker. With each change in occupation, he started nudging up the social ladder. The progress was slow, till the extended family finally moved to Karnal. They took up a two-storeyed house in the middle of the town, close to the family business, which at that time was merchandise in clothes. A little later, the family took to the company of manufacturing tyres, which turned out to be very lucrative. Through all this, the Chawla household retained its spirituality. Banarasi Lal's parents had abdicated worldly existence and moved into a little house on the outskirts of Karnal town to spend their last years in spartan life. The religious attitude in the family was secular. While Banarasi Lal himself read the Guru Granth Sahib, his wife Sanjyoti followed to the preaching of Pune-based Swami Rajneesh. As far as food was concerned, the household was uniformly vegetarian, a habit Kalpana retained even years later when she went up in space as an astronaut. The years of struggle were not lost on Montu, as Kalpana came was popularly known affectionately known in family circles. Though by then the family business had begun to thrive, the basics-never let up in your effort-were never forgotten. From virtually nothing, her father had built up a lucrative business and had even received a laurel from the President of India for an indigenously designed machine to manufacture tyres. Just before the Columbia launch. Her easy-going nature and by then radiant smile masked the extent to which the child had absorbed her father's experience. It would be many years before the family would first realize how this slightly built, the dark-eyed girl had imbibed the family traits of grit and determination. Time and again, after that, the baby of the family would prove unflinching in her resolve-something that would come handy in surmounting the barriers that Montu faced growing up as a girl child in the state of Haryana. Speaking to friends who had dropped in to offer condolences at the Houston home of Kalpana, her mother said, 'Kalpana was born in our family, but she had a mind of her own.'

Kalpana Chawla Childhood in Karnal, Haryana.

Kalpana Chawla’s childhood was spent in the town of Karnal, Haryana, which lies on the Grand Trunk Road, halfway between New Delhi and Chandigarh. Located along the west bank of the river Yamuna, the town and its adjacent areas have a legendary history linked to it, dating back to the Mahabharata. Legend has it that neighboring Kurukshetra-also in Karnal district—was the battlefield that launched the famous war of Mahabharata between the Pandavas and the Kauravas. Centuries later, the town's penchant to be associated with history has not changed. Growing up in the sleepy town of Karnal was quite an experience. For girls to be given the privilege of studying was rare, and not many families encouraged the idea. According to Kalpana's contemporaries from Karnal, a fifty-strong class would be hard-pressed to have even five percent girl students-a far cry from the average has seen today. In the Chawla household, however, there was an enormous premium on academic prowess. Elder sister Sunita was already a trailblazer, setting a benchmark as it were. By the time Kalpana came of age, money was no longer an issue in the family. At the same time, the family was not keen to send her to a school far from home. So they opted for Tagore Bal Niketan, which was located in the vicinity of the Chawla home. Captain D. Sharan, who grew up in an adjoining village and is now a pilot with Indian Airlines he was, in fact, piloting the aircraft that got hijacked to Kandahar-recalls that Tagore School was among the best that the town could offer. 'Women were never encouraged to study at that time, he recalled. 'In one class you would have only about three or four girls. For a girl in Karnal to get through (academically) was next to impossible. For that matter, even for a man, it was not easy.' He should know, having cycled every day to go to college and later to the local flying club for his first lessons in aviation.

Kalpana Chawla Education

Kalpana Chawla School: Tagore Bal Niketan Kalpana Chawla College: Dayal Singh College Tagore Bal Niketan was not the best school in town, yet it was unique in the way it was founded and run. At Tagore Bal Niketan, Kalpana's class had only fifteen students. Most classmates remember her as a shy individual. Though she never stood first in class, she stayed among the first five. Her energies were now increasingly towards raising the bar as it were. Her upbringing in a small town and her measured victories against tradition would be valuable lessons, as helpful as the support she drew from her female mentors, not the least from her mother. Given the family's conservative background, Kalpana skipped the better option in Dayal Singh College and opted instead for her pre-university from D.A.V. College in Karnal. It was only in the second year (equivalent to the twelfth grade) that Kalpana moved over to Dayal Singh College, that too because D.A.V. did not offer science beyond the first year of pre-university. As her teacher of English, Dr. Kamlesh Sharma, mentions, Kalpana was never traditional or conservative in her ideology, her thinking. By the time she finished her pre-university from Dayal Singh College, the petite girl with large black eyes, high-pitched voice, and luminous smile had set her sights on a graduation degree in engineering. It was not surprising, therefore, when news filtered home that Kalpana had to attend Punjab Engineering College (PEC) in Chandigarh. The Chawla household was initially reluctant to send her out of Karnal. Ultimately, however, they relented, and as a safeguard, ensured that Kalpana's friend Daisy too got admission in Chandigarh for a graduate degree. Recalling the moment, in the NASA interview, she said, 'I was lucky to get into aerospace engineering at Punjab Engineering College. And, in my case, the goal was, at that stage anyway, to be an aerospace engineer. The astronaut business is far-fetched for me to say, "Oh, at that time, I even had an inkling of it." The time had come for this small-town girl, who weighed ninety pounds with rocks in her pocket, to move on in her journey.  She could well have rested on her laurels and earned a more than comfortable livelihood as a civilian.

Kalpana Chawla Death Reason

The horrific turn of events after the space shuttle made its re-entry into the Earth's atmosphere on its home run are now history. For NASA and people all over the world, the end came as a tragic shock. A host of reasons have forth to explain Columbia's break-up on re-entry into the Earth's atmosphere. The most plausible reason out is that debris from the shuttle's external tank had struck Columbia's wing, just eighty-one seconds after launch on 16 January. The foam insulation purportedly fell and hit the shuttle's left flank on at least two, possibly three, locations. Titis believed, caused damage to the heat resistance tiles covering the wing and eventually proved fatal to the craft on re-entry. Retired Navy Admiral Harold Gehman, head of the independent investigation, is looking into this and other plausible causes. Progress has been painstakingly slow, which is understandable given that the debris from the shuttle is still being located and put together. Therefore, it may well be a long time before something gets is conclusively established. Meanwhile, the initial shock of losing Kalpana and her six colleagues in the unfortunate accident is now gradually wearing off. And the harsh realization has dawned that life has to go on without these magnificent seven among us. Comforting to many people--including her . own husband is the thought that Kalpana's death doing something that was most dear to her. Kalpana Chawla Death reason whatever maybe, 'The initial shock has worn off, aided by a constant stream of prepared meals, friends arriving from far-off places, and ever-present Astronaut Office contacts,' wrote JP on the Iweb log maintained by a Gillan of the rock group, Deep Purple. 'Intellectually, we all realize what has happened. Emotionally, none of us can yet connect the dots. We all take solace in that the crew was doing what they loved, with people they loved and respected. When the end came, it was instantaneous.' It is what makes her legacy enduring-an inspiration for generations to come. In many ways, the spirit of the seven astronauts, lost on that fateful morning on 1 February 2003, will always be with the world. Kalpana's journey from Karnal to space will forever remain a part of us. It did not end with the mishap or after her ashes were spread over Utah. It is not just because of her incredible achievements. It will be as much for her ability to achieve the impossible. Though being born into an upper-middle-class family helped, she struggled against very much the same odds as the rest of her countrymen. As a young girl born in the 1960s, she had no model to follow, no godfathers in the system. She did not use the prejudices and handicaps as an excuse for inaction. She sincerely believed that there was no alternative to hard work. And that if you believed in something genuinely, then it is yours. Her origins and life were, in a sense, very much commonplace. But her achievements were not. That is what makes her extra special--a role model to be emulated by generations after her. That, in many ways, is the central element of her legacy. In her last interview to India Today, she summed up the sine qua non of her incredible achievements thus: 'In one word-perseverance. There have been other factors too. Taking the time to follow other interests such as reading and exploring that have helped to widen the perspective and have enriched the journey.' Kalpana's strengths also flowed from the fact that she did no wanting for effort. She drew inspiration for this from ordinary individuals around her. People who gave it their all, no matter how commonplace their tasks might appear to be. For her, the commitment of her teachers—with their constant ability to devote attention daily to almost every student-was a cause for inspiration. So were the initial struggles of her parents to establish themselves again after being uprooted from their homes by the flames of Partition. The steadfastness and commitment that all of them displayed as they went about their daily lives inspired her in her journey. She looked for very much the same qualities--perseverance and courage-in the stories of explorers like Shackleton and Matthiessen. Another quality—which endeared her to those who knew her and will continue to inspire many, was her bold approach to life. Almost everyone who has been touched by Kalpana recalls the adventurous spirit that was so intrinsic a part of her. As her friend Acuff wrote on his web page after the accident: For Kalpana, the words she wrote on the photograph she gave to Amy (his wife) and I sum her up: In the spirit of adventure. She was always seeking new knowledge, new experience, and a unique wonder. She wrote to David (his son), 'Reach for the stars.' That is the message she would want all the children of the world to hear. Only by reaching beyond what we believe is possible can we achieve the impossible. Also striking was her desire to give back to the community and her commitment to preserving nature. It was this that motivated her to help not only young children from her old school in Karnal but also other deserving people from all over the world. It prompted her to painstakingly track down her alumni to share mementos from her first trip into space. To keep this legacy of generosity alive, her family has set up the Montsu Foundation (PO Box 58937, Houston, TX 77258, USA). As JP put it: 'The Foundation's first objective is to sponsor the university education of bright young men and women whose only obstacle is lack of funds, or means to acquire those funds. Sponsorship is open to anyone anywhere in the world ... The second objective is to acquire and preserve the natural environment, such as the purchase of land used by migratory birds during their stopovers.' Very appropriate for someone who drew inspiration from the words of the philosopher, Seneca: 'I was not born for one corner. The whole world is my native land. It was a connection that she sincerely believed in till the very end. Born Indian, yet died as an American, in space. Indeed a global citizen. As she said in her final interview to India Today, 'I have felt that connection and stewardship for Earth as long as I can remember. And not just for Earth, but the whole universe.'

Seconds before disaster Columbia Space Shuttle

A Timeline of Events in the Last Flight of Space Shuttle Columbia (All times EST) 16 January 2003 10.39 a.m.: Columbia rockets into orbit from Kennedy Space Center 1 February 2003 8.15 a.m.: Columbia fires braking rockets, streaks towards a touchdown. 8.53 a.m.: NASA loses temperature measurements for the shuttle's left hydraulic system. 8.58 a.m.: NASA loses measurements from three temperature sensors on the shuttle's left side. 8.59 a.m.: NASA loses eight more temperature measures and pressure measures for left inboard and outboard tyres. One of the measurements remains visible to crew on a display panel, which crew acknowledges. 8.59 a.m.: Final transmission. Mission Control radios: 'Columbia, Houston, we see your tire pressure messages and we did not copy your last.' Columbia replies: 'Roger, uh. 9.00 a.m.: NASA loses all data and contact with Columbia at 207,135 feet. Residents of Texas, Arkansas, and Louisiana report hearing a big bang' and seeing flames in the sky. 9.16 a.m.: Columbia's scheduled landing time. 9.29 a.m.: NASA declares an emergency. 9.44 a.m.: NASA warns residents to stay away from possibly hazardous debris. 11.00 a.m.: Kennedy Space Center lowers the flag to half staff. 2.05 p.m.: President Bush announces: Columbia is lost; there are no survivors.' Read the full article

Week Nine [11 Weeks - Anderstair Challenge]

[masterpost]

[read it on Ao3]

Chapter Summary:  Merrill turns up unexpectedly. Anders is instrumental in what happens next

“The way you flirt is shameful,” Alistair laughs.

I smirk. “I’m just trying to get Dorian to like me—I’m meeting him where he lives.”

“I heard that,” yells Dorian from the other room. I can see his shadow in the background behind Alistair’s head.

We snicker together like children.

“...and I don’t like you at all,” adds Dorian.

“He doesn’t mean that,” says Alistair. “If anything, that means he loves you—I’ve heard him say it to Cullen a million times.”

“I heard that too!” yells Dorian.

“God… your hearing is bionic!” Alistair shouts back.

In the week since our brunch together, I’ve committed myself to being friends with Dorian. I’m going to try to be Cullen’s friend too, but I think that might be more of a challenge. If I can just tolerate him, that will be a win.

“So… what are you three doing tonight?” I ask.

“Three?” he laughs. “There are four of us here… Mia was the guest of honor at our dinner party this evening.”

I laugh.

“How old is she again?” I ask.

“She’s like 2?” He doesn’t sound sure.

“When we have kids, I hope you keep track of their ages better…” I blurt.

The expression that washes over his face is halfway between elation and horror. That’s sort of how I feel about kids too.

“Do you think about that a lot?” he asks. He’s speaking really quietly now. I wonder if he’s afraid Dorian is still listening.

I nod. “I do, actually.”

“Me too…”

We smile. Although facetime isn’t a perfect approximation of what he looks like, I can see how adorably happy he is—that’s good enough for me.

“Anyway… I better get going… I need to check in with the gang—they’re at the Hanged Man waiting for me.”

Alistair grimaces.

“What?”

“Is Hawke going to be there?” he asks.

I bite my bottom lip. “Yeah… he is.”

“Great…”

“Love… he apologized, you know… he didn’t mean for things to go that way…”

“It doesn’t matter,” Alistair argues. “It means he has that lurking inside, somewhere deep.”

“No it doesn’t. He was just drunk and confused.” I don’t really believe it, though. When I think about that night, I know something wasn’t right. I’m just not sure what. In fact, I’m not sure how much of it was me. That’s the really scary part.

“Fine… just… call me when you get home, okay?” he asks.

I raise an eyebrow. I’m not about to let him make me feel guilty about hanging out with my friends.

“Okay… that was stupid and possessive,” he amends. “Just call me because you love me and because you miss me… not because you have to.”

“Sounds good. Bye, Love.” I hang up.

When I get to the Hanged Man, I’m met by someone I don’t expect. Merrill is waiting for me outside. She’s hiding in the shadows, arms wound around her waist. She’s so thin that she could probably make a complete circle with her forearms. I know she’s always been thin, but in this scenario, she seems skeletal—it scares me.

“Hi, Andy,” she says. Her voice is high and pinched.

“Hi…” I rush up to her and put my hands on her shoulders. “How are you?”

She starts to smile, but it’s forced. She eventually settles on a shrug.

“When did you get back?” I ask.

“Just this morning,” she answers. “I thought about going to the house straight away, but I kept stopping myself…”

I nod, but I actually don’t know what she means. I haven’t heard any of this from her side, after all. It gives me an idea.

“Hey, Merrill… let’s not go in there…”

She squints at me.

“...not yet. Let’s go have dinner at that Chinese place around the corner and try to sort through this… before…”

She nods. “Okay, let’s go.”

We don’t say anything else until we’re seated with piping hot cups of tea in our hands. She inhales the steam and sighs with effort. It looks like every breath hurts her. I remember that feeling—possibly even more clearly than I remember the things Hawke has been going through.

“So… start at the beginning,” I prompt.

She clears her throat and looks up at me through her eyelashes. Her eyes are ridiculously big—were they always like that?

“I have been unhappy for a long time,” she begins.

“Really?” I blurt. I don’t mean for it to come out like an accusation, but it sort of sounds like one. I’m just really surprised. I never saw any signs.

“Yeah… I need to do more and less,” she says.

“What?”

She laughs bitterly. “That doesn’t make any sense… let me begin again: I want to do more with my life. I’m not happy teaching anymore. I want to work for some kind of a foundation or nonprofit organization.”

“Oh… that sounds wonderful,” I interrupt. “What kind of a nonprofit?”

She smiles. “Something for LGBT youth, maybe… or homeless children… maybe the intersection of those two groups…”

I nod. “Sorry to interrupt.”

She shakes her head and swallows. “It’s okay. So anyway… I’ve been thinking about that lately… and I want to do something big like that…”

I nod.

“...and I tried to tell Garrett that…” she pauses, “And he says it’s great—that he thinks I’d be great at that—but he hasn’t done anything to help me achieve that idea… I mean… it isn’t as if I’ve asked for much: just a little support; maybe some name-dropping with some of his mother’s friends…”

I purse my lips. I’m trying to reserve judgement until she’s had a chance to explain the whole thing.

“...but he isn’t really behind me. He’s too wrapped up in his own stupid things: taking care of his family business; doing favors for people he barely knows…” she says. “He can’t even keep the house together when I’m not there.”

“But, Merrill… he would never stand in your way—” I start to interrupt.

She shakes her head vehemently. “That’s just it… he won’t stand in my way, but he won’t stand beside me, either.”

I don’t have a good argument for that. Hawke, despite all his great qualities, isn’t much of a trailblazer. I’ve often thought that life just happens to him… I’ve even been instrumental in that; we all have. We make choices that change our collective lives and he rolls with the punches. In some ways, it’s his best quality… just not right now—not when Merrill needs him.

“He isn’t ready, Andy…not for this,” says Merrill sadly. “Maybe he never will be…”

I feel my head shake without my express consent. It hurts to hear her say that—like every relationship in the world is just doomed to irreconcilable differences.

“Don’t, Andy…” She reaches her hand across the table to touch the back of my forearm. “Don’t worry… this doesn’t mean we can’t be friends anymore.”

“So you’ve decided already, then?” I ask.

She nods. “I wasn’t sure until right now…”

The rest of the night passes painfully. As soon as Hawke sees Merrill at the Hanged Man, his whole face lights up, which makes me want to die a little—I know what’s coming. They go back to their place together to sort things out, but I can imagine what happens. I think Isabela can too, once she catches of glimpse of my face. I’m terrible at poker.

“So it’s over?” she asks, once they’re gone.

I shrug, but we both already know. This is the end of an era.

Fenris shows up a few minutes later. He sits between us and kisses Isabela’s head. At least their relationship seems to be functioning.

“How are you, Andy?” asks Fenris. “I haven’t seen you in an age.”

“I’m okay… this whole thing with Merrill was pretty shocking…” I sigh. “But other than that, I’m great. How are you?”

Fenris smiles. “I’m great… I’m about to start construction on a really cool new house…”

He tells me all about it—it’s ultramodern, situated right off the Boston Commons. It’s estimated to cost over five million when it’s done. Who has that much money and why are they spending it on houses?

We all laugh and drink and—for a moment—manage to forget that our two other best friends are having the worst night of their adult lives. Eventually, we have to go home, though, and reality settles back in on the sidewalk.

“Andy?” says Isabela. She wraps her hand around my waist and pulls me into a side hug. “I love you and no matter what happens with them, they’re both going to keep loving you too.”

Fenris nods. It’s the closest he’ll ever come to saying something like that and it means a lot to me. Each one of his gestures has more weight because he uses so few words. Stoicism has its perks, I guess.

“I love you guys, too.”

Back inside my apartment, I look at my phone for the first time all night. The group text has two new additions.

Hawke: We wanted to tell you that we’re not getting back together. Merrill is moving out. Don’t be sad—we’re okay. We want to give each other time to grow and change… and it doesn’t make our relationship mean any less just because it didn’t last. We were really important for each other. Now we’re moving on.

Merrill: I’m going out to San Fran for a while. I hope that all of you will come visit me… and I’m not giving up the group text. I love all of you more than you’ll ever know.

Wow. This is the most mature breakup I’ve ever heard of. Of course, it’s going to hurt—I’m sure they’re already hurting like crazy. But still… they’re thanking each other for the time. They’re moving into the future.

I set my coat on the back of a chair and type.

Anders: I love both of you so much. I’m in awe of how well you’re handling this. Please let me know if there’s any way I can help you.

Merrill: I need help packing…

Isabela: oh… I think I’m going to be out of town… whenever that happens. ;)

Fenris: I’ll be there… I’ll bring Bela too…

I laugh.

Anders: I’ll help Fen wrangle her.

I’m super exhausted, but there’s one more person I need to contact. I get into bed and facetime Alistair.

“Hello?” he croaks. It’s really late; he must have been sleeping.

“Hi? Sorry to wake you.”

He shifts and moves the camera so I can see his face. He looks so sleepy.

“Is everything okay?” he asks. He blinks and manages to seem slightly more alert.

“Yeah… totally…. I just wanted to tell you how much I love you.”

He smiles. “That’s nice.”

“And…” I swallow hard. “Hawke and Merrill broke up—for real.”

His eyes widen. “Wow. really?”

“Yeah… but it wasn’t bad—in fact, I think it might be good… they might need this,” I say. “They became different people and needed to move on.”

He nods. “I’m sorry, though… it’s always hard to see things change.”

I nod. “Yeah, it is.”

He looks at me expectantly. “What else did you want to say?”

I laugh. “You know me way too well…”

“Come on, tell me.”

“I just want to make sure this doesn’t happen to us. I want us to be solid…” I say.

He shrugs. “I mean… we’ve talked about this before: there are no guarantees…. But I’ll tell you this, Andy… I love you and I think that we are learning to grow and change together.” He pauses for emphasis, “...and that’s the key.”

I nod. “I love you, Alistair… just two weeks left.”

“Yup…” He sighs. “Speaking of which, I think I’m going to be able to sleep there in 13 days… I won’t have all my stuff yet, but I’ll have you and a bed, so…”

“Perfect. I’m going to make a paper chain link countdown.”

He laughs. “Goodnight, Andy.”

“Goodnight.”

Yoooooooo so I've been kind of out of the Parks fandom for a bit now but want to get back in. Do you have any recent fic recs? I always associated you with high-quality parks fanfic.

Thank you, Anon!!!

So, this is hard because, like, everything the following authors have written is phenomenal, but I will link some of their more recent, longer works so you get an idea of their writing styles. This barely scratched the surface of what they’ve done, just the “newest”. Seriously, make sure to go back and then read EVERYTHING they have ever done if you haven’t already ;) 

PS, this is mostly Ben/Leslie fic. I know there are other writers for other ships, so if that’s more of what you’re into, I’m sure there are plenty of people that know better than me! Again, ALL amazing.

(In Alphabetical order by Author Username)

@ashishorny (tumblr) || ashisfriendly (AO3) 

En Route – Leslie/Ben - Leslie Knope thinks a road trip is just what her best friend, Ben Wyatt, needs to navigate everything life keeps throwing at him, but hitting the road with him may just throw new curve balls at her. || Contemporary High School AU!

Feels Like Fate (cowritten by @c00kie28) – Leslie/Ben - Ben’s a single dad in need of a new nanny for his daughter. Leslie’s a grad student in need of a job and a place to live. But what seems like a simple solution soon becomes a lot more complicated.

Enter Love, Stage Right – Leslie/Ben - Ben Wyatt, struggling Broadway hopeful, has finally landed himself in the ensemble for a brand new musical. However, when the part he is understudying for unexpectedly becomes available, Ben is thrust front and center of something big and significant. Becoming a lead role isn’t all that’s new for Ben, he has the new found feelings he has for the show’s creator and leading lady, Leslie Knope, to figure out as well. || Actor AU

@benjis-cool-times​ (tumblr) || benjiscooltimes (AO3)

Soul – Leslie/Ben – Leslie and Ben are soulmates, but they’re both beginning to think that the universe made a huge mistake.

The Maiden Voyage – Leslie/Ben – Leslie was dreading the journey aboard the RMS Titanic, and she wasn’t sure which was worse; being out on the open ocean for days on end, or being stuck with Benjamin Wyatt. Benjamin, on the other hand, was looking forward to using the time together to change Leslie’s mind about him. Would this be the thing that finally brought them together, or would it drive them apart forever?

@bookwormm03 (tumblr) || bookworm03 (AO3)

In the Wings – Leslie/Ben - Ben Wyatt is a Secret Service agent protecting the president. He also has a history with the first lady.

For Me This is Heaven – Leslie/Ben - When Ben Wyatt was four years old he was officially introduced to his Guardian Angel.

Wanderlust – Leslie/Ben - Leslie Knope is ready and raring to start her European adventure. Unfortunately, there is a wet blanket getting in her way…by the name of Ben Wyatt. Backpackers AU.

@c00kie28 (tumblr) || c00kie (AO3)

The Mixtape – Leslie/Ben - Leslie finds the tape in her locker, her name written in black sharpie on white tape on the plastic case. She smiles, placing it in her backpack next to her Walkman. It’s the fourth tape she’s received from her secret admirer.

Between Here and There Series – Leslie/Ben - Stories from the Older Ben universe where Leslie is Andy’s younger sister and she just so happens to fall in love with his best friend Ben Wyatt.

Without Your Love I Won’t Make It Through – Leslie/Ben - After Leslie breaks up with Ben before college, Ben makes the choice to join the Marines.

@nutriyumaddict (tumblr) || nutriyum_addict (AO3)

A Mermaid Tale – Leslie/Ben – Professor Ben Wyatt comes to Pawnee to research mermaid folklore. He doesn’t expect to fall in love with an actual mermaid–especially one that he has a deep connection to from his childhood.

Operation Riding the Rails West for Christmas – Leslie/Ben – It’s a few days before Christmas 1948 and Leslie Knope is asked to take a leave of absence from her job after a scandal with co-worker Mark Brendanawicz. Add to this a historic document that she accidentally (on purpose) takes with her when she leaves, a serendipitous meeting with history professor Ben Wyatt, and a train ride west to discover the fate of one of Pawnee’s first trailblazing feminists.

Four Times Sleepy Ben Had Game (and One Time He Didn’t) – Leslie/Ben – Four times sleepy Ben was a smooth sexy time operator (and one time he was not).

@sakurablossomstorm-blog​ (tumblr) || sakurablossomstorm (AO3)

Bumps in the Road – Leslie/Ben – Leslie discovers she’s pregnant with Ben’s baby just as her campaign for City Council starts.

Those Who Teach –Leslie/Ben – Professors can’t date Students or Graduates of Indiana State, those were the rules. But yet when a feisty Blonde speaks up in Professor Ben Wyatt’s Debate class, he’s willing to risk everything for her.

Apartment 7C – Leslie/Ben – Ben moves to Pawnee because of work and he hates it. However, when he meets his neighbour, Leslie Knope, he starts to realise that he might have found his home at last.

@supervanillabear31​ (tumblr) || supervanillabear31 (AO3)

Break Even –Leslie/Ben – Ben Wyatt’s the new kid in Pawnee, and Leslie Knope instantly befriends him. Their connection is strong from the very beginning, but things begin to shift when Leslie discovers his more sinister past.

The Space Between – Leslie/Ben – Ben Wyatt’s marriage is falling apart. Enter Leslie Knope, the true love of his life.

Picking Up the  Pieces – Leslie/Ben – Leslie Knope meets Ben Wyatt their junior year of college at Indiana University. Cue human disaster Ben needing some cheering up; Leslie helps him out.

Why Washington’s Walla Walla Is a Region to Watch

In many ways Walla Walla, Wash., is like any small, upwardly mobile American community. The placid, easily walkable downtown has busy independent bookstores like Earthlight Books, which hosts beer tastings and highlights local artists. The patios of the streetside bars and restaurants are filled with smiling people wearing Patagonia fleeces and expensive sunglasses. You can buy artisanal goat’s milk soap.

The tourist-filled streets of Walla Walla are a recent phenomenon, though, and one brought about explicitly by wine. While the area is still best known to people from the West Coast, it’s becoming a notable region in American winemaking, with parallels that some winemakers, such as Steve Robertson of Delmas Wines, who learned to make wine in Napa Valley in the 1980s, say are strikingly similar to Napa before its winemaking boom in the ’70s and ’80s. Back then, says Robertson, Napa “looked very much and felt very much like Walla Walla does today.”

It was winemakers like Robertson, Gary and Nancy Figgins of Leonetti Cellar, Jim McClellan and Herbert Hendricks of Seven Hills Winery, and Rick Small and Darcey Fugman-Small of Woodward Canyon Winery who pioneered winemaking in the area. The Figgins planted Walla Walla’s very first vitis vinifera vines back in 1974, and with Leonetti Cellar, they officially established the region’s first commercial winery in 1977. The Smalls planted Woodward Canyon’s grapevines in 1978, and the winery was bonded in 1981.

Some 40 years later their example has been followed by relative newcomers like Valdemar Estates, an extension of the 130-year-old Spanish company Bodegas Valdemar. The well-regarded Washington winery Force Majeure — whose estate vineyard is located in the Red Mountain American Viticultural Area (AVA) in the Yakima Valley — now also has vineyard space in The Rocks District of Walla Walla and in an area called The North Fork that’s not an officially recognized sub-AVA. Smaller wineries like Prospice, which sources its grapes from local vineyards such as Seven Hills,  are another feature of the growing wine scene.

Lodging in the area is also seeing an expansion. The Finch, a newly renovated 80-room hotel, recently opened in downtown Walla Walla. Another arrival is The Barn B&B Walla Walla, a seven-suite bed-and-breakfast on the western side of the city that opened in April 2019. Anand Rao, who owns The Barn with his wife Naina, says they were drawn to the area both because of the wine scene and the incredible natural beauty. “When we bought the land in 2007, there were only about 23 wineries,” he says. By the time The Barn opened there were more than 140. “We just saw a future for food and wine and tourism.”

A Region on the Rise

One of the things that’s so remarkable about Walla Walla is the fact that it’s still a place where you can interact with the people who literally planted the first vines in the region — and learn what it was like back then in the late ’70s and early ’80s.

“Although Walla Walla was surely a diversified agricultural town, it was not a wine town,” says Rick Small, who was born and raised in Walla Walla. He also emphasizes that the area isn’t a typical farming community. “We have three colleges here, and people traveled,” he says. “The people that farmed here and had businesses here were well educated. And because they traveled, they were much more open to other agricultural possibilities.”

Officially recognized in February 1984, the Walla Walla AVA sits in eastern Washington and is a part of the much larger Columbia River AVA, a geographically massive area that comprises more than 90 percent of Washington’s vineyard acreage. Walla Walla is in a remote corner, close enough to the Oregon border that part of the AVA actually extends beyond the state line.

Sennen David, the vice president of marketing and culture and beverage director for the Seattle-based Ethan Stowell Restaurants (ESR) group, says Walla Walla is “the spot that’s the capital of the Washington wine industry.” He describes current-day Walla Walla as being defined by its colleges and its wine, adding that “it would otherwise be such a sleepy area.”

Gary and Nancy Figgins of Leonetti Cellar. Photo by Leonetti Cellar.

Walla Walla’s rising prominence hasn’t come easy, though. Casey McClellan, a native of Walla Walla and the general manager and winemaker of Seven Hills Winery, didn’t expect to return to the town as an adult. “I didn’t think I’d be back,” he says.

Seven Hills was established by Casey’s father Jim McClellan and his business partner Herbert Hendricks. The senior McClellan and Hendricks were both physicians who came from multi-generational Walla Walla farming families. Both knew they wanted to return to their family roots in agriculture, but also didn’t want to raise wheat. They planted their grapevines in 1982, and when the winery officially opened in 1988, they became part of the first cohort of vintners in the region.

When Casey was growing up in Walla Walla, tasting rooms simply didn’t exist. These days, the town attracts both national and international visitors — and talent — thanks to wineries like Seven Hills and the legacy started by the McClellan family and the region’s other winemaking trailblazers. “I really didn’t hesitate when it was time to come back,” says Casey, who discussed the prospect with his wife. “We debated different places to move to, but you don’t get a chance that often to help create an appellation.”

Spearheading New Sub-Appellations

This same potential drew in Christophe Baron, the first international vintner in the region. His winery, Cayuse Vineyards, produces wine from grapes cultivated with 100 percent biodynamic farming methods. His critically acclaimed wines are sought after by many, and in 2018, he spoke about practicing biodynamic viticulture in Walla Walla to a packed room at Robert Parker’s 40th anniversary conference.

Originally from Champagne, Baron was hoping to work in Oregon’s Willamette Valley but took an internship in Walla Walla in 1993 when a friend working for Waterbrook Winery needed to leave his job early. “For a 23-year-old French man, there was not much action, not much going on,” he says. “A handful of wineries, only a few restaurants, and the quality was not very high. There was no great food or fine dining back in the day.”

Winter at Cayuse Vineyards. Photo by Cayuse Vineyards.

Baron decided to stay in Walla Walla when he discovered a plot of land in a copse of apple orchards that was covered in large round stones.  It reminded him of the galets and terroir in France’s southern Rhône Valley and Châteauneuf-du-Pape. In March 1997, he planted the first 10 acres of vines in Milton-Freewater, a part of Walla Walla that’s now recognized as its own sub-AVA called The Rocks District of Milton-Freewater, but is more simply known as The Rocks District. (Baron says he prefers to call the area The Stones.)

Barrels at Delmas Wines’ cellar. Photo by Delmas Wines.

Delmas’s Robertson was the person responsible for spearheading the effort to have The Rocks District recognized as its own AVA, which occurred in February 2015. Robertson’s desire to have The Rocks District designated as its own sub-AVA within Walla Walla was born in part out of a recognition that the land, which is perfectly suited for varieties like Syrah and Grenache, also has its own distinctive terroir. He says that while he initially faced significant resistance from other winemakers in the community —whom he believes were afraid of diluting Walla Walla’s not-quite-established street cred — when the application was filed with the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau, not a single letter of dissent was submitted.

“It’s so exciting, I can’t even tell you,” Robertson says. “I am 67 years old, and I am as pumped up as I have ever been in my working career to be a part of this. It’s really no different from how I felt when I was 33 and moved to Napa Valley.”

Woodward Canyon’s Rick Small feels similarly. “It’s incredible to have been near the start of this and to see what it’s become … and, of course, to contemplate where it’s going.”

It’s this attitude, and wine from estates like Seven Hills, Delmas, Cayuse, and Woodward Canyon, that are propelling Walla Walla into becoming a true, internationally recognized appellation.

“I think people can feel or sense momentum, and Walla Walla has got momentum,” says McClellan of Seven Hills. “Whatever degree it is, people can see things are escalating and growing here, and you want to grab onto that. I think that’s why people are willing to take that risk, because they can see there is a chance that this could be so much bigger — and they could be part of it.”

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