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#food can be very hard sometimes
fattributes · 10 months
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Sending my love to everyone whose diet consists of chicken nuggets, plain hamburgers, macaroni and cheese, or spaghettio's. People who can only comfortably drink soda, sports drinks, or juice, I love you. People who need to feel their food with their hands before they can put it in their mouth, I love you. I’m so proud of you all for feeding yourselves and staying hydrated. I see you, you’re valid, and you're doing amazing.
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carfuckerlynch · 1 month
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I know we're anti aestheticizing everything we do but I admit that there's something personally resonant and satisfying about putting a blue food service band aid on my t shot
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skunkes · 4 months
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i need someone to keep me from making more purchases on traditional mediums. I will not use them. Do not buy any more paints or tools or clay or pencils or markers. Cut that shit out.
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sunnibits · 9 months
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no bc where did that post go that was like “listen if imagining blorbos telling u to brush your teeth is what works to get you through the mental illness than you just gotta accept it” because I was literally hanging out with some friends recently (all part of my dnd party) and we ordered food and they were trying to get me to try some unfamiliar scary foods so of course I was like “ahhh nooo yucky :(((" but then my DM fucking looks at me. and says “if you eat this bite then Dimitri gets to pet a stray cat in the campaign like you wanted”. and when I tell you that shit MOTIVATED me-
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peapod20001 · 9 months
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I’m the type that can and will cry if think too hard <3
#random post#me tag ∠( ᐛ 」 ) |/#I’m not an overly emotional person in the stereotypical way. but I do get in my feels when thinking about life and the experience of living#I’m like. constantly explaining things to myself cus there’s never really a time or place to talk about it#also my method of explaining things is very not coherent sometimes. so it takes me a bit to really get my point across in a comprehensible#way. I’m a big thinker. I have many thoughts and ideas a views. a daily thing of mine is noticing problems#and then fixing them in my head with thought out explanations and motives and outcomes#it’s like I’m talking to someone else. much like how I format my text posts. that’s how my inner monologue is#me talking to myself is actually me talking to someone else. someone that isn’t real#anyways it’s a daily occurrence. every day of my life is spent with thoughts similar to those breaking down a movie#lots of thoughts from adhd. compulsive thoughts from ocd. overwhelming thoughts from autism. distressing thoughts from bpd#ya. this isn’t a vent I just need to like. see the thoughts in writing so I can do smth else. like eat this muffin ive been staring at for#over an hour now <3 mmmbfbg yea muffins are hard to eat now cus I had some with mold and food mold especially is a big nono for me#spend like. five minutes examining the damn thing before I even consider taking a bite. I’m very hungry an thirsty </3#when your mouth is so dry you can taste your own mouth 👍 I’m experiencing#nothing in particular. just experiencing. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I like having an experience and living#drank my tea and I had like. hallucinations of like an alcohol prep pad. I’ve been using those in my ear cus. tmi. had a pimple that’s#causing problems so mom suggested that. it burned! which means it worked so word. I’ve noticed lately that both me AND my family have been#using ‘word’ a lot. dad says we’ve been saying it but no we haven’t. if we had I’d have BEEN saying it. maybe we’ve used it before for a bit#but now it’s back. idk. I’ve said it in class on more than one occasion lmao I don’t look like the type to say smth like that but whatever#it’s like when I used to say bro after every sentence like 10 years ago lol. we’re a family of parrots we repeat eachother a lot#I started saying I love you out of no where and they started doing it too. we whistle at eachother from across the house. sing ear worms#together. quote funny things at every opportunity and drive the joke into the ground. everyone in this house is a different kind of mentally#I’ll and it’s the most beautiful clash of personalities because we’re all so annoying and we love eachother so much and also our#communication is shit because some ppl have hearing loss and another is a short fused child and some are quick to interrupt and some dont#get a word in and some just can’t explain and some can’t understand. we get there eventually at some point. we don’t get the full grasp of#how much we love eachother yet. but we’re gettin there. anyways this went into several different directions but they’re all good ones#I think. if you read all this good on you! this is my brain 24/7/365 haha ok love you
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fleshdyke · 11 months
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she wants me DEAD
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baby-xemnas · 4 months
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japanese fics dbdkdkd you're a strong one 😭 I think kidkiller has very little fanfic and most of them prefer bottom Kid instead.
BRUH
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favroitecrime · 4 months
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not much to say here just that the juxtaposition of having the privilege to complain about doordash vs… yeah.
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drumlincountry · 1 year
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Mmmmmm it's very tricky trying to communicate with my neighbour. We visit each other occasionally but she:
Does not speak English or French or Irish - the languages I can make myself understood in.
Does not speak any language I can find decent resources on learning
Speaks only Sorani Kurdish, a language which Google translate does not have a, u know, robo speaky voice for. A language no online translator seems to give pronunciation guides for.
Cannot READ Sorani Kurdish nor English. I thought translate & reading would be our solution but this is not so.
There are no great sorani resources available online. Nothing with a pronuniciation guide or audio that I can find.
If u have any ideas pls let me know cause I am ALL OUT.
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nomaishuttle · 9 months
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the way i balance staying true to my tumblrina nature while also having a job and bills and rent is that at work while cleaning a room ill think of something id like to post and then repeat it over and over in my head and refine it until it sounds right and then i either post it as soon as i get a second to Or i forget it bc i think of anew post to make. and they always get 0 notes but its ok
#not a lot to post abt in a retirement home. its like yep this room is exactly the same as it was last week and the week before as well.#2day we mughtve had a missing resident idk. i also fink i saw her like 2 seconds b4 she went missing so im sure they found her#i was just sitting in the lunch room Seething and Coping ( iwas 40 minutes behind and had just found out i had an extra room on top of that#btw i didnt get out until 4:30. my shift ends at 330 but my ride leaves at 4 and due to The crisis my boss said i can stay clocked in until#4 so that i can do liberty and get overtime et cetera. whats hard is sometimes when i say et cetera i want you to read it as et cetera but#other times i want you to read it as E.T. cetera. but what can you do.#anyways where was i. right i was in the lunchroom oh also my ride didnt leave without me bc marians my bestie. anyways. i was in the break#room idk why i keep calling it the lunchroom im not a highschooler. its a breakroom we just sometimes eat lunch in there when im not outsid#or hiding in Closet <3333333333#aaaanyways what was i talking abt. a good thing abt desktop tumblr is that i can read through all the tags so far#mobile its like a whole debacle basically. idr how but its like. whatever ider what i was talking about hold on#oh right. so i was in the break room and there was a nurse in there and on the walkie (they all have walkies. brenda also has one) i heard#someone go Sooo 245 wasnt in her room and she wasnt in the cafeteria :worried: im gonna look around 2nd but keep an eye out..#and then like a minute later that nurse got up and quickly left idk if she got a different message bc i was listening to starstruck by sorr#and trying to figure out how expensive (indian restaurant) is. the answer is very ughhh i just wanted butter chicken and garlic naan and#rice and that wouldve been THIRTY DOLLARSSS :sobbed: it is very very good food though#i caint get it anyway my check hasnt come in. Tee be honest i might go ahead and order it anyway once my check does come in i rly rly want#butter chicken rn. if in being honest.#also the nurse was playing like a kids cooking channel youtube video rly loudly and the guy in it was obnoxious and i was having such a bad#day i was just sitting there hunched over in a corner forehead against the counter it was diree guys.#the way i made 'yeah i overheard on one of the nurses walkies that they couldnt find a resident for a couple minutes' into a 10 paragraph#debacle. this is what i mean when i say i have to be a tumblrina do you know how dire it would be if i had a social life and went outside#somebody would be like hey how has your day been! and id make it into a 15 hour long historical reenactment. lord
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Finished the animatic that in all my files is just referred to as ‘trashman’ :D
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dutybcrne · 9 months
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Prior to falling into the Abyss, Ajax had always been a rather fussy eater, at times only ever willingly eating select fruits, fish ( either simply in fillets or sometimes in crepes ) or deruny his mother would make because he just couldn’t stand everything else. To her worries, this even continued well into his older years too, even if he did slowly start coming to terms with other foods when she’d worked to adjust them so he could eat them a lot more comfortably.
After he’s fallen into the Abyss, he seemingly did a complete 180, to his parents’ surprise. From then on would not only eat all the foods he used to hate and even new ones he’d never had before, but he WILL finish everything on his plate, and without complaint. While his father took this with full relief, his mother still couldn’t help but worry about what that meant for her poor boy.
#hc; tartaglia#//Not counting desserts as Food-Food—a lot of though he could stand; easy#//But others he REALLY needed to warm up to#food ment tw#//His pickiness did not change; mind you#//His mother was right to worry Something was up#//There are still many foods he cannot STAND bc the textures or tastes are just Hell#//But bc of his time in the Abyss; he will habitually choke it all down regardless; & make it V hard to tell how unpleasant it rlly Was#//Bc down there; he did NOT have the luxury of being too choosy. Skirk made him WELL aware of that. Carried right into his present day#//signs are all subtle; a fist might be pressed against his thigh or the tabletop if it really bothers him though; he can’t hide that#//Or have the slightest grimace as he chews/swallows; but that only someone LOOKING for it or who knows him V well can pick out#//Sometimes he might even feel sick/queasy after bc it was just so unpleasant to him#//But he’ll try his hardest to not actively hurl—can’t WASTE food after all#//What would his master think?#//Certain other foods like soups and meat dishes he could bear after his mother made the adjustments for him#//He is forever grateful she genuinely took the time to work around his sensory needs/tastes#//Loves her very much; misses her food so so much too#//Chef Mao is near the only other person whose foods he’d eat without complaints—esp since the man also made an effort to accommodate him#//Bc he happened to notice Taru’s subtle reactions to his food and pried the truth out of him with genuine interest and care#//He deffo became a VERY hearty tipper at the Wanmin Restaurant while all was well; was a bit sad things Soured bc of his stunt with Osial#//He can cook for himself decently well; but not Truly to his own liking—not entirely. It frustrates him greatly#//If Traveler were to become one of those people who can cook to suit him bc they cared enough to learn? He might just marry them; lmao#//Jkjk#//Or am I#disordered eating tw#//Tagging jic
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mental illness is a rollercoaster and i want OFF
#shut up hanna#im like. im fine i actually am not mentally ill#i definitely dont have an eating disorder. i can have this *food i deem unsafe when deep in my ed*#and i eat it and im like see. i was faking#and then im panicking abt the fact that i can feel it in my body and i cant undo eating it#the fucking mental gymnastics im playing every god damn day#can it just be QUIET#and it sucks bc like. mental illness is becoming less stigmatized like depression/anxiety are taken very seriously as illnesses now#and its clear how prevalent they are in our generation#but no one relates to my degree of mental illness in my social circle.#like in my circle of supportive friends i have in person here. theres no one whos had an ed. theres no one with a mood disorder#theres no one with ptsd or cptsd. bpd. bipolar. none of it. and they care and theyre supportive. more than i deserve but#they dont Get It. like#dgmw theyve never been like. just eat its not hard. like they KNOW. but they dont understand why its as hard as it is for me#and like. this is a side thing but its kind of frustrating that every girl in the department (LITERALLY. all of them)#will say they have an ed like. im not gatekeeping or diagnosing its just. that's just not statistically possible yk#like. you can have severe body image issues. AND disordered eating. both of which are harmful and deserving of help#like when i told my roommate abt mine she was like. maybe i do too. and we talked for a looooong time abt it#and i knew she didnt but ill never invalidate someone. its just. its sometimes hard when ppl think they understand and they dont#(she also came to the conclusion she doesnt after talking w me abt mine and knowing im not even bad enough to be inpatient)#like i guess im glad in a way that what i deal with isnt the norm ? in the population yk. like#its good to know that what i deal with. bipolar and bpd and ptsd and my ed being the hardest to deal with. that they also#are like. not super duper common? like its kind of isolating but it is comforting to know that not everyone feels this shitty#all the time so stuff is way harder for me than other ppl lmao#anyway. i lost my train of thought
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chaossmagic · 2 years
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chronically ill bucky barnes is very important to me
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pizzapizzadickz · 1 year
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I've been popping pills like they're candy lately. (Also known as I've been in pain a lot and my allergies are horrible bc of all the mold in my room).
#diary#personal#on another note entirely that i didnt want to put it in the main thing. i feel so. different from what ppl know me as sometimes#like. i may talk to you. and you may think you know me. but do you really? ive been thinking. if ppl met me would they even like me?#like. when i have meltdowns or sensory overload or just need time to chill n stim. or just lay down n nap#like. idk if others could tollerate that of me. if i met someone irl and arent heavily masking my personality you can tell im strange#fuck. just today i spent like 5-10 mins just. tapping on my collarbones hard bc it feels nice feeling ur bones vibrate#idk. like. honeslty i cant even put it into words and speaking itself is so ineffective tbh.#it just really sucks tho. cuz i mask so much of myself so much of the time. i mask the pain. i mask my happiness.#heck i even mask everything inbetween.#honestly i sorta just dont believe anyone would like me if i acted how i want to. like. i am very autistic natually. VERY AUTISTIC#i just hide all of that for everyones comfort and it makes things activly less enjoyable for me.#idk. i just. want to go out. cling to someone i care about and make them guide me. wear noise cancelling headphones everywhere#i rly just want to never go anywhere loud or crowded (even tho i like trying new food n things).#i want to jump up and down when im happy. run when i feel. scream if i want. cry if i need.#id like it if someone saw me meltdown or shutdown they wouldnt freak out.#id like to be able to mess up things in social situations and it wouldnt matter. i just wouldnt worry about if id still have a friend.#id like to be able to be heard when i say no i cant have/do that. i really wish that was the case even now.#i. really have just become so much more autistic the more ive focused on myself. my needs and my feelings .#like. today my dad wanted to order something that *admittedly* is the exact same thing i was gonna order.#HOWEVER THERE IS ONE KEY DIFFERENCE. IT IS NOT WHAT I PICKED OUT. so what if its different from what i want????#i cant have that!! so i panicked a lot. and he repeatedly ignored me when i said no i dont want x food.#eventually mom stepped in and made it so i got what i wanted.#yknow? existing hurts so much. just all of the time too. i keep on coming back lately to the same thought.#over and over and over again on repeat. just. idk. its hard to explain.#i keep on thinking how itd be better if i was like replaced with someone else. if someone else was born instead of me.#like. im utterly useless. but maybe if only x sperm was born instead of me they wouldnt be like me. idk.#maybe then everyone would be happy. maybe then theyd be able to work and make my parents and everyone else happy.#theyd be able to fit in. they could lead a much better life than me. i wish i wasnt so utterly useless.#i just want a long break. its exhausting living and im not rly cut out for it. too bad i wont get one anytime soon. god i hate this.
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rotturn · 1 year
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#negative cw#i am feeling. very not good#every day we go to restaurants where there's nothing on the menu i can eat bc all ive been able to manage lately is soup#or sometimes mash potato and gravy but like. its gotta be a Good day and i have not had good days in a While#so i just sit and have nothing while they eat then down an entire block of white chocolate as soon as we get home bc its my comfort food#and like. i dont mind not eating at a restaurant or whatever im cool to chill and chat while someone eats it doesnt bother me#its just when theyre doing it every day and getting annoyed when I say i dont want anything as if they don't already know#mixed w the fact that my sister has been constantly unbearable its just been Rough#esp since we share a room#and we've been having issues w our accommodation in new york but i think hopefully it'll be sorted#im just exhausted and stressed all the time and there's no end in sight#and this trip has just made me aware of how much i do not feel loved by the people who should make me feel loved#like i love my mom and she does her best and she does make me feel better but sometimes shes a part of the problem#and i have support at home my roommates are so good for me but. theyre not here#and i feel shit every time i tell my roommate how i feel bc this is a once in a lifetime trip that she may never have a chance to take#and it makes me feel so guilty and selfish to not enjoy this but its so hard to enjoy#that one week where we were on the boat and i could have multiple soups a day was the only time i was happy#and its because i wasnt constantly starving and we didnt have stress about luggage or where we're staying#but ever since its just been constant stress and anxiety and hunger#and like. theres nothing i can really do ab any of it bc seeking out something i need means they dont get to do something they want#and i cant take what my sister wants away from her bc she'll throw a fit#mum says the usa will be ab me more but i know it wont be. i know exactly how it'll work#i will not have a chance to rest and be happy until im home and even then i have to find a job as soon as im back#bc i have bills and rent and i only budgetted enough for a month after i get back and that's with barely any groceries#and i get the feeling my roommates mad at me or upset ab something but i don't know how to approach it bc im on the other side of the world#and idk i feel like its me i feel like i did something wront#im just tired and sad and hungry all the time#but that's just. kinda my life innit#i just wish. people weren't upset with me all the time. i try so hard not to upset people but nothing i do ever seems good enough#i just want to be good enough. but i know im not.
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